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#i guess? i mean i don't hate tumblr#if i did i wouldn't be here (again)#i met my girlfriend on this silly little hellsite that still doesn't have functional blocking!#i met people i love in general on this horrible little website!#so it's not all bad!
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blood of the covenant
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#pink space#tw scopophobia#tw body horror#(<- minor minor but !)#fighting for my life and i hate vehicles so Short Comic Break lmao !!#//i really think that if i just drew the whole story in a 900x900 canvas i could actually get it going hfhshb#'why don't you do that then' because it may not actually work and also i'm almost done with this chapter. lol 👍👍#/but also the going is SO slow i've started adding parts i hadn't even conceived of before. to make it harder ig hfhs :3#//anywho i am prolly gonna do more of these simple 3 panel comics lol :333#they're my favorite thing ehe :D#//man. okay i'm really starting to consider it for reals this time#a smaller canvas would do wonders for my functioning + paneling...#cuz i already know that a small canvas + page cap makes me do things to panels that i wouldn't usually So.. :>>#and a smaller thing is just easier i guess !!#Will that mean starting from scratch again? ahahahahaaa.. yea........#or maybe i could just fit the older panels i like into the square ?#hmmm we'll have to seee#definitely wanna try it tho !!#let's see what happensss :33
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*through gritted teeth* i am going to write my screenplay
#can you imagine if i had the ability to think through things easily and just know stuff and be able to work on this consistently#imagine! well anyway#when did i actually start the screenplay itself. i guess it was sometime last year. or the year before actually#but ive had this idea since 2019#tumblr poll do you care if my main character has an established backstory. its fine you don't need it#i think i need to have every element and detail of my story in place and making sense and then i watch a movie that has none of that#im also thinking more abt my short film idea#which is essentially a prequel of sorts to my main film idea#looking online to see what the general length of a short film should be and people..... hate living in the no attention span world#people being like if its longer than 10-15 minutes no ones gonna care/it'll be harder to sell are you fucking with me right now#its called short film not instagram reel. jesus#anyway that just means i will have to condense all my ideas which may make them funnier in doing that in a short amount of time#but you people have got to learn to sit down and watch things sometimes#its me and my screenplay against the world#<- my screenplay tag which is mostly full of posts talking about how i need to write it
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1. why is it even an option to not try lol. like, yeah, I didn't feel like being awake any longer anyway and would prefer to stress out my already-stressed-out bf. goodnight, Saeran
2. bro.. you can't just get on top of me like that, looking like an actual angel, when I was just gassed and have no idea where I am... gonna make me lose consciousness again looking all pretty like that
3. actual jumpscare. I usually love horror, but V you gotta give us a content warning for that kind of thing. Jesus
4. undoubtedly highly important information that V and his dark web hacker-for-hire can weaponize against us
I bet Rika saw him practicing his villain repertoire and rolled her eyes into the back of her skull. V also said Rika smelled like manure, and she said she's bored by having only him as company. love how these two actually want nothing to do with each other but insist on ruining each other's lives anyway
I might really have to attack this man. not even for the reasons most players would, either, but because if he wants crazy, I am more than happy to oblige given the current circumstances. maybe then he'll realize what's good for him. but since he's a pacifist: it's because you need therapy. there. now go put that secretly-loaded bank account to good use, love yourself, and get out of here before something truly awful happens. like, idk, going to prison
Chairman Han route when. everyone's like "where's the Vanderwood route at" but by the time we get more content, like a reboot, we'll be looking at Jumin's dad a different kinda way. we can fix him if we try hard enough
not a misunderstanding. I am unfortunately in love with you, just as I am with Saeran, which is why this AE pains me more than most. I even - like the unfaithful player that I am - told you that I liked you back in a previous call and didn't tell you off for being weird. let's not play coy now.
there's probably an uncomfortable and confusing tension in the house due to our shamelessness, and we should all - Rika included - just accept it before things get actually uncomfortable and confusing on day 3
#i guess this is more like days 1-2.5#lb#mysme spoilers#long post#rika#v#saeran#his stickers#especially the giggle one#are so cute that i gotta take .5 seconds to recover whenever he uses them#it almost gives me that same (concerning) reaction you sometimes get from things like kittens opening their eyes for the first time#where your inner violent caveman instinct takes over and you scare yourself bc you kinda wanna squeeze it#i googled this and it is a thing#it's called 'cute aggression'#i feared it was uncommon and that there was smth seriously wrong with me#there might still be BUT i am not alone in this particular reaction#do people exist on tumblr on tuesday nights? my dash is dead. well no harm can come from speaking into the ether i suppose#if anyone actually read all this you get a huge gold star lol#rip me when v lowkey comes onto you and says he was interested in you... as if the love triangle elsewhere wasn't torturous enough#i feel like most players didn't care here bc they hate him lol but i don't#and with his route and poor ray#and now you're gonna do this to me-#unethical#also.. @ saeran.. i am so sorry for being disloyal in a call#i didn't mean it baby pls take me back
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#now that everyone's come to the conclusion that the whole handling of davrin was kinda racist#i am reminded of that one white person who threw a tantrum at me for “spoiling” them on his possible death#when i warned them not to tell him to do whatever it takes at any point in the game on a post of them worrying that he's gonna die#like and i mean full on soft blocking and three post vague blocking levels of tantrum#when i came from a place of being upset over him dying in my playthrough as well lmfao#i was upset because the racial undertones already didn't sit right with me and wanted to warn them about it#they were upset because something something mUh nAtUrAl pLaYtHrOuGh#but i suppose i shouldn't be surprised. they kept getting anons that called them hypocritical and selfish and i thought it's just tumblr#discourse anon hate bs#and i gave them the benefit of the doubt#but yeah like a week before that or so they refused to spoiler tag something for someone sending them an ask about it because it's#their blog or something#but also ended up vagueing me not once not twice but THRICE#for saying “whatever you do don't tell him to do whatever it takes”#i didn't even go into the depth of it i didn't even say WHY it might be extra upsetting to watch the black guy sacrificing himself#but holy shit did they not take it well#i ruined their playthrough and they don't feel like playing it now etc etc#yeah man guess what it feels like watching him actually die guess what soured the whole experience for me#and the thing is they knew they were being wildly unreasonable because they expressed their guilt about flying off the handle like that#but instead of idk sitting on and thinking about that for a little they just asked their followers to reassure them they did nothing wrong#and mind you at that point i had already checked out and just went on their blog to block them because holy shit fuck that#holy SHIT fuck that we are dodging bullets around here
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#ha not me venting on main again#but ya know its good to get feelings out and all that and idk sometimes you have to do that by yelling them into the void of tumblr#I know I bitch a lot about being lonely but god I think I officially am gonna start hating the holidays#cause nothing and I mean nothing is more lonely feeling inducing than sitting here bored out of my mind and depressed at the same time#all cause I don't have anyone all my friends everyones off doing stuff with family with their parents and im not#i lost my mom when I was a lot younger and i lost my dad this past February so im just alone#idk im just upset at the world and very lonely rn I know it'll pass but god it hurts#I just feel suffocatingly alone I guess everyone I consider my found family is busy with their real families and I'm just here without that#I'm just idk were emotioning I guess who knows maybe I'll channel it into something productive#to be deleted eventually#....
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Do you know this feeling when you're like "Oh, yeah, I like this thing, I found so much comfort in it and it helps me carrying on-" and then you suddenly see thousands of comments about how people should "KILL THEMSELVES FOR FINDING COMFORT IN THESE AND THAT" and you just feel so ashamed to the point you gonna lie to yourself you've ever enjoyed or used it at all and you just avoid posting anything about it
#Tumblr#Idk I'm sorry guess I'm not a very good person haha#I'm pretty sure people would send me threats if I was about to tell a bit more about myself#I mean. I kinda understand why they would do this#Sometimes it's like there are many many eyes watching every my movement and judging#I don't tell about all the things I like or accept because I don't want to hurt others and I don't want people to hate each other even more#My opinion won't change anything anyway#Ok I probably shouldn't rant so much haha#But then again it's always been like this for years and it's nothing new#So guess I'm just a snowflake don't pay attention#I wish people happiness#Girly thoughts
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iansan relevance right off the bat let's fucking go
#personal stuff#delete later#cannot believe she's electro. cyno treatment#also nice to see they're at least making an effort with the npcs if not the playable characters. hm.#ALSO I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE FROGS AND SQUIRRELS BEING RELEVANT TO NATLAN. HAH.#we finally get to see what the pilgrimage referred to in the pyro gemstone is!!!#natlan being entangled with the abyss. that's fun. looks like we get to go there / a tainted part of natlan and get trapped!!#really appreciating the idea that natlan is the nation of war because it's constantly at war *with the abyss* and not with itself#and that its competitions are to keep the abyss at bay#CAPITANOOO. HIIII . I'M TWIRLING MY HAIR. I LOVE HIS DESIGN.#when he threw off that coat i went WHOOO. also my man how were you not dying of heatstroke in that#CRYO CAPITANO...#the pyro archon is giving lantern vibes except i KNOW she's going to have a better personality and playstyle. trust#also the big fight being between a pyro claymore user and a cryo sword wielder....... don't look at me.#something REALLY interesting to me is that throughout the entire trailer the traveler's ornaments are still glowing blue for hydro#do we not get to resonate with a statue and get pyro? do we have to earn it? is it just an oversight? i'm intrigued#OHHH OKAY they clarified. we can't get it right away. interesting#they say it's because of the abyss. i wonder if that has anything to do with childe's vision not working in fontaine? interesting#capitano *is* ranked first. don't talk to me i'm inconsolable#not that he's ranked first necessarily i think he's cool as hell i just hate that the theorists were right on this one#bc the second half of that theory is always dumb as hell. head in hands#no xianyun rerun..........#it's fine i have more time to save for her. i guess#the new natlan forgeables look cool. really funny to me that the pyro archon is using one in the trailer...#like ik it's probably because they haven't modeled her actual weapon but man. could you imagine#[looked at leaks] they're def and hp based... thank god. yun jin is getting treated well#also i bitched about the liyue > natlan skip but then tumblr axed my tags. fine. it's whatever i just don't like it#also the extra benefits are fine. THEY FIXED THE WEAPON BANNER that's all i care about. free 5 star means free diluc cons for me#THE MUSIC THOUGH. THE MUSIC IS REALLY GOOD
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Tumblr sure does crazy things to people. Went in a he/him furry with a lot of self loathing and no friends, and have come out a he/she furry with deep enjoyment of tummy and pooltoy and tf with many friends whom my feelings for border on romantic!
#crazy what tumblr can do to someone#i mean the tf enjoyment was there at the start but I've properly identified Why i like it now so there's that#if you can't handle me at my “ranting about how i hate my body” you don't deserve me at my “kissing my friends goodnight” i guess
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Some of you on here get let your minor annoyance turn into genuine hatred too easily. Too much of the tumblr population likes this TV show so you decide liking that show is a sign of having a terminally irritating personality and you wish the showrunners would get nuked from orbit
Calm down maybe and learn how to just be mildly annoyed by things
#i mean it's not news that a lot of tumblr users have no emotional regulation skills but still#if you find yourself genuinely hating something bc it's popular or whatever. you should probably take a moment to think abt that#i think the weird obsessing with bluey is annoying but i don't think ppl who like it should shut up or that the show should be canceled#i guess it's like the everpresent phenomenon where some people just think being popular makes a thing worse#but i've always found that attitude to be really juvenile
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Fucking hell I am going to have A WEEK
#my bff' bd is 29th and i wanna make them a cake myself which means i gotta find all the ingredients on our fucked up little mass market#and then not fuck up the recipe which alright i baked that thing before. ONCE. AND IT ALMOST WAS A DISASTER.#luckily my bff's sister is helping me with that and she's buying the easy to find products so that's nice and appreciated#and i won't have to grate like. seven large carrots all by myself. that would be unfortunate#<- girl who did EXACTLY that last year#i also need to get a boclx for the cake and i wanna decorate it so it isn't just. A Box#and then in the evening me and her sister will go to our mutual friend who's organising all this shit and all three of us are gonna#creepily show up at my bff's window at midnight before her birthday with this cake. we're taking a taxi THANK GOD i hated transporting#a cake through public transport to the other end of the city last time#and then we spend the night at my bff's apartment before going back to oir mutual friend's place spending all day there and potentially ALSO#staying the night and THEN! do you know what happens then? then i go take a PE exam at my uni :)#also before all that i gotta finish some things i have a deadline for at the end of the month. which im supposed to be doing now but#guess what#im typing this instead#because im a whiny bitch okay my social battery is going to be DEAD after this. and i mean completely fucking fried#good luck to me ig#it's all worth it cuz i love my bff#but god am i glad they don't have Tumblr because they aint supposed to know our asses are planning something >:)#cruci shitpost
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BOOM. FANFICTION
We have a dead OC haunting the narrative, we have absolutely soul crushing whump, we have hurt/comfort and a little sprinkle of hurt again at the end! What's not to love!
HELL YEAH! Another entry to the 7-rats-in-a-trenchcoat holy war cinematic universe!!!! Today is a gooood day
when I saw the mail icon I was like I HAVE BEEN CONTACTED YEAAAAAAA
today... is an even better day because we got more Saorise... I'm gonna cry.
You know, I didn't recognize that the "dead oc" was her until I saw her actual name, because in my mind she's still alive and running around as a vital part of the ten commandments. I haven't done anything but gently put her in the background of the daydreams with a cookie of her choice yet, because knowing she was Zeldris's only friend on top of being her own lovable self and now learning that she was a like sister to them both- my HEART 😭
i cannot touch that yet. it is holy. but one day, if I have your approval, I swear I'll make her a happy ending. bc that's what I've been doing since I was little for tragic narratives (Cough, cough, Darkstalker Legends, if you know you know) and now's as good a time as any to step up my game. just the prospect gives my heart the zoomies
me when a writer I love makes an oc and gives them the good angst: 👀 is mine to love? to cherish? to make fictional happy endings for? fictional happy endings that don't exist for the characters that don't exist, that are wonderful and die a horrible undeserved death that fits the themes and story so well my heart is screaming?
oh... so THIS is where that sketch is from...
can you tell I can't write tragedies but enjoy the themes and execution of them so much that I religiously read and corrupt them anyway? yeah 😍
#7 rats holy war melizabeth cinematic universe#idk I'm calling it that now#holy war#melizabeth#not zeldris losing his only friend and brother in a matter of MONTHS. he... he refused to come with... i just remembered he KNOWS...#oh that's hitting me hard. can you blame me for throwing your angst-ridden versions of characters into a timeline where things go better#the angst makes the non-canon compliant daydreams sweeter#so glad the people on Tumblr know exactly what I mean when I say you guys please devour this fanfic Experience 10/10#i do NOT regret spending 3 months coming up with a very complicated intricately plotted holy war au. that was very difficult.#now when I'm free I'll go back and give them more bloody angst I guess. then more sweetness. thus is the life of me#you. you melted his eye.#not Elizabeth getting beat up by her mother#thus proving herself right to have hidden things. she would have been beaten either way because abusers don't make sense#they only care about control#also did I mention the name you used for the demon palace ROCKS and KICKS ASS#Mel is so traumatized he hates his own home omg#I mean of course he does... but you made it feel REAL#and Elizabeth's obliviousness .... ohhhh you did that good. the demons she could have saved ...#what's not to love!
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Me: I don't like Cats the musical. You could not pay me to ever see it live.
Perelman Performing Arts Center: We're doing a version of Cats inspired by ballroom culture!
Me: Ok... that's definitely interesting... I could be into it... but NO still you can't make me want to see it.
PAC: Here's some rehearsal footage of the cast vogueing to Jellicle Ball!
Me: ...I hate that this actually is working... it fits a little too well...
PAC: Also André De Shields is playing Old Deuteronomy!
Me: ...Why must satan tempt me in this way...
#by satan i mean alw#i must say generally i have nothing but love for people who perform in cats (minus the movie. or i guess minus like 75% of the movie cast)#when i watched the 98 version i was like 'wow every single person on this stage is a quadruple threat'#since they could all dance and sing and act and do tricks too#and i adore the original costume and make-up design. totally genius. oh and the set design too.#i always just say that the cast and crew deserve a better show#i've even gone as far as to dive into documentaries about the making of cats and stuff. i still just can't get into it.#i know people love it and i love that for them. i too love weird musicals. just not this one unfortunately.#maybe in this new setting for this production i'd enjoy the show more#and boy is it trying to get me to go and see it. truly that vogueing video. i was so mad.#it was like me watching Solo and seeing them fix the kessel run mistake.#i was like 'NO. no. i'm mad. no. i hate that this is fixed. no. i'm so angry.' when i realized how they were fixing it.#like cool this is better but god i'm mad at the fact that this is better#maybe in august or if it extends AGAIN i'll go and see it. but at least for this first month of performances i won't see it#i wouldn't want to feel like i'm taking away a ticket from an actual fan who already loves the show#while i'd be going mostly to see if they can change my mind about the show#(ALSO. i did not tag this as anything. so no coming at me saying i'm putting hate in a tag)#(if this post shows up in searches then that's tumblr's fault for changing how searches and tagged posts work)#(this is barely hate this is just me being mad while complimenting artistic choices. but even if it was hate i'm still not tagging hate.)#(so don't come at me)
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It's interesting to stroll around Fanlore reading discussions that took place in 2007 talking about the fractured nature of fandom on LJ and people interacting without having enough context (as in commenting on a post they did not read by a user they do not know) when you're living in 2023 and people distribute likes without reading anything or commenting; when there's supposedly "drama" of unknown origins happening in more than one website at the same time because there's no real "home base" for fandom activity anymore; and we're all carrying on with our lives reblogging things without even looking at previous notes and reactions to that same post even if out of simple curiosity...
#what gets me is the lack of discussion. i don't expect anyone to approach things in a more ~intellectual manner no#but i guess i expect a little more than what i see. i'd *like* to see a little more. more than just personal unfounded opinion#idk i have the distinct feeling that we're all screaming into the void only louder and louder and louder#(you will never convince me that twitter is a good place for discussion because it just isn't. it wasn't made for that#it doesn't support it. its very quick structure is part of why so many people have long recognised it as toxic social media)#(it's talking over one another in fragments. if you agree on there all is peachy but if you don't then lol good luck)#anyway. again. i do know tumblr isn't exactly proper for any of this either; the dashboard isn't designed for it#but it's not like i can convince anyone to switch to a slower and more text/reflection-based platform either now can i#i think about migrating every day but then i'd REALLY be screaming into the void#silly blabbering#i'm allowing myself to post this on this blog because it isn't strictly WN related but also it is. i hate twitter fandom lol#(also if you're wondering yes i did read that one for the bakhtin. in this house we love and support bakhtinian studies)#(just in case my last little essay on wn didn't clue you in regarding that lol)#ALSO i love the fact that the post (the actual post. if you click the link and follow through to the original post. which you should)#links to another post that goes to another post (i love these link black holes) where the author voices things i feel too lol#about crafting extensive essays and the expectation regarding their response#i sometimes think that LJ fandom is what made me choose my degree#why am i seeing myself through someone else's words written in 2006 ksjdfhksdjjhksdgjsd#and yeah yeah we should respond to other people too -- but how when no one is writing the sort of thing you want to/can reply to?#i'm not interested in the colour of beatrice's knickers (not that anyone has talked of that... afaik... but you get what i mean)
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hey by the way in case my art ever takes off you're allowed to make any of my characters fat or black or trans or whatever forever. anyone who says that interpreting my characters or work in a way that makes you happy and isn't hurting anyone is "drawing the character wrong" or "ruining my work" does not represent me or my values.
#I mean try not to remove other people's rep I guess? Like don't make my darkskinned characters light or my ace characters allo etc etc#but other than that go wild. do whatever you want forever#art#original art#anime#my art#manga#oc#oc art#i thought about this bc of all the discourse that surrounds drawing anime characters as minorities. usually poc and fat people#some bigoted weebs get REALLY mad if you draw your favorite characters in a way that represents you and your community. and that sucks#I think... if it means a lot to someone to see a character they relate to drawn to look like them#when they've been told to hate that part of themselves their whole lives... what is the harm in that?#Let them be happy. Let them see themselves in the things they like. It'll be ok#artists on tumblr#art tag#fanart#artwork#digital art#body positivity#fat positive#fat positvity#poc representation#body diversity#lgbt#trans representation#trans
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guys this is so funny i actually have to help look for someone to go to prom with
#🌙.rambles#SLIGHTLY MISLEADING not just me but. our table is 9 but we need 10 🥹#i cld bring one of my. yk female friends or wtvr platonically but. all girls school pain.. i don't think it's allowed ?? 🥹#my mom's friends have sons but no fucking way#n. there's only like one guy irl that i'm actually close with#honestly i think#noooo they might see this i get shy when rambling abt my irls in places they might see 😭😭#i think i don't usually ramble abt them here bcs they have tumblr n ILL BE TOO SHY#okay. back to the topic as a whole though#i don't.. rlly like thinking abt prom bcs. i guess it has some romantic tones or i forgot the word but yk#n when it comes to romance . i only. acknowledge it if it's smth wholly fictional or if i dissociate myself w it#like. not that i mean to but. i usually only think or yk abt it in a way that is clearly separated from reality.#so w this. stuff like this i'm just an airhead#n it doesn't help that personally i do want a prom date bcs#idk. fiction. fantasy into reality i hate noctis n claude von riegan n idk all those characters 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#doesn't help at all that when i just. idk subconsciously deny it or smth#i end up eventually having a dream w like. the other day i was holding someone's hand for a while n i really liked it. like nooo fuck that#i don't know what i'm. trying to say at this point. T_T#bcs there's like. for example there what i know i want n i dissociate or wtvr's the term yk completely from reality#no even what i don't want i just. blend it in. so you really can't tell what i'm hiding n if there's even anything at all#it sucks i'll just always hide behind this mask ig 🥹#WAIT OFF TOPIC BUT BACK TO PROM#IT'LL BE FUN THOUGH !!!! just. need. 1 more person to complete our table sob but the thing is#going non-stag is additional 3k n sorry i'm not paying. yeah. sorry 🥹#it's just money that's the problem here i think. like we cld just get just one person from whoever we know but. yk. the money.#😭😭 yeah but i have stuff due today so i'll think abt that later bcs thinking abt prom is just stressing me out rn .
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