#i guess what im saying is fuck miracle all my homies hate miracle

[quietwingsinthesky]

i kind of wish dean had just kept not liking dogs. that’s one of the things that i never understood them leaning so hard on changing in the later seasons. like, yes, first of all, hellhound trauma should have been more of a thing for him in an ideal world <3 but also by itself? it’s just a neutral trait, makes sense for who he is. he’s got a car he likes to keep clean and taken care of, and he’s spent his whole life on the road murdering people so having a pet wasn’t exactly an option at any point.

i’m not sure i want to say that making dean like dogs is either the writers flattening him or attributing Notable Sam Traits to dean. but it is a weird decision. to give him that little mop dog and go :) yeah guys dean loves dogs.

not liking dogs isn’t something about him that had to be fixed lmao that was actually a pretty solid trait. why of all things did they reverse course on that.

[inspiringwhilerespiring]

Get to know me?

Yoooo - yall remember Myspace, and people would blog survey posts lol. Well thats me, I’m people. And I just wanna write my lil heart out and avoid all of my real life responsibilities. So found a lil questionnaire thing and I’m gonna fill it out. Also lowkey like doing this every so often so I can look back on it and reflect and see how much I may have grown/changed/shifted viewzzz ya feel? :) 

Sooo here yall go <3 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My neice maybe?

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

People who know me would tell me to put outgoing, but I honestly feel shy on the inside, so it just depends.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Literally anyone lmao fuck this quarantine

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Definitely

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Lets hope so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind souls <3 always notice how they talk to their friends and family, but even people they don’t know like servers or janitors, etc. that shit matters heavy.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A few homies

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nah not really, just depends

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Not sure -it’s been a min since I had a “deep” connection or convo that I can remember - but was probably with my bestie R’Bo

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Google that shit” lmao me, giving advice to my friends

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

TOUGH!!!! After Hours by The Weeknd is up there, Cayendo by Frank Ocean (been jamming his shit HAARD lately) and Inside Friend by Leon Bridges & John Mayer….but also been listening to albums - like Childish’s new album, Floreyyy for lo-fi shit, and also got into 070 Shake recently just to name a few.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCK YA

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah budddyy

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Idk, my bday party was lit?? And lots of river floats happened

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Lol

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Cant deny that there isn’t so yaaa

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yes

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Just moved, so don’t know em

21. What are you bad habits?

Procrastination lol and biting my nails

22. Where would you like to travel?

Literally ANNNYY-fuckin-WHERE!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Hmm I wanna say generally no, but I also always keep it one hunnnid with myself, and as much as I’d like to say I don’t have any - I think I def have insecurities with myself, that have the potential to become “trust issues” in certain relationships, but overall no. I live by the whole “you have my trust til you fuck it up” mantra

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Coffee in the morning lately, missed it and forgot how energized it makes me - gives me time to wake up and reflect/set daily goals

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Stomach forever :((((

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Scroll on my phone, pee usually, or feed my cat lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Tanner maybe?

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My mom or my best friend R’Bonney - but any of my close friends and fam honestly

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Not directly

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Lol ok, so this is always changing…but lately (and by lately I mean the past few years) its been a no. I’m open minded though and am aware that I’m always changing my mind sooo who knows

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yeppperoo

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Honestly, those aren’t my “thing” lollike id prob laugh or be awkward or just have to be hellllla drunk - but like I wouldn’t mind Jason Momoa and Tom Hardy tossin me around

33. Spell your name with your chin.

hjaylkee

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Scocer back in the day - actually went and kicked it like a week ago for the first time in YEARSSSS - felt so damn good

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV, music forreeevverrr

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Lol story of my life

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“Soooo” then probably ask a question or some shit lol

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Hmmm…definitely have to be funny/have a good sense of humor. They’d have to be open-minded for sure. Up for trying new things, places, cultures, food, music, etc. Just have an adventurous spirit I guess when it comes to that. Have a good line of communication/openness - and just be able to have a deep/intellectual convo about anything and everything. Bonuses: taller than me, likes cooking, and going to music shows.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Amazon lol I hate shopping

40. What do you want to do after high school?

To go back to high school :( lmao so much id re-do, cant believe its almost been a decade

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Hell yeah, this is life my dudes, dont take it so seriously - we all fuck up at some point or another

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Something is on my mind for sure, or im just tired lol

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

DAMNNN WHAT so hard - I guesss if I had to pick, space…just because it’s more rare/harder to do I’d think.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My cat lol with his meowing ass

46. What are you paranoid about?

Lowkey a lot lol

47. Have you ever been high?

8)

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Who hasn’t????

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

naw

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black probably, like half my wardrobe

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Of course

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My bad habits

56. Favourite colour?

Yelllllow :)

57. Favourite food?

Oh gaaawwd, literally anything - lately: PB&J’s, fries, wings, Mediterranean, Mexican, pickles, ice cream, ramenzzzz

58. Last thing you ate?

Pistachios

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Cofffeeee w creamer

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Idk, not off the top of my head - maybe something back in elementary

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nah

62. Been arrested? For what?

Yeah lmao

63. Ever been in love?

Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

No its really not that interesting and idc to type it out

65. Are you hungry right now?

24/7/365

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Lol yes a few of them <333

67. Facebook or Twitter?

FB

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Noooo

70. Names of your bestfriends?

R’Bonney is number 1

71. Craving something? What?

Foooood, and companionship? Lol

72. What colour are your towels?

Idk, random, mostly blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

A lot lol

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Lol no, but I have my one from my childhood in my room

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

1 - shout out to you Mr.Fluffy

75. Favourite animal?

I am fascinated by sharks; and like gators/crocs. But I have mad respect for elephants, they’re sooo damn smart and beautiful.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Dont have any on

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

BITCHHHH CHOC

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

All of them

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Tie-dye

80. What colour pants?

none

81. Favourite tv show?

Game of Thrones prob

82. Favourite movie?

Avatar or Shawshank Redemption

87. First person you talked to today?

Sissy

88. Last person you talked to today?

Friend on FT

89. Name a person you hate?

No one, maybe Trump? lol

90. Name a person you love?

Everyone, fr fr

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Nah

92. In a fight with someone?

Nah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Not enough <3

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Not enough <3

95. Last movie you watched?

The Decline on Netflix, short lil foreign oil, was deep/interesting

96. Favourite actress?

Not sure-Sandra Bullock? Or Meryl

97. Favourite actor?

Denzel or Morgan Freeman

98. Do you tan a lot?

Nah not anymore honestly

99. Have any pets?

Yessss

100. How are you feeling?

Mediocre

101. Do you type fast?

Ya

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Im sure

103. Can you spell well?

Ya

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Lol im nostalgic af, so yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes litttty tittyyy

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probably :(

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Hell yeah brother, I’m from TX

108. What should you be doing?

So much shit lol

109. Is something irritating you right now?

The fact that I ain’t doing all the shit I should be lol

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yooo yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Prob my sister or my mom?? Lol I cry a lot, idk and idc

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Hayls?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

Back in the day

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Surprisingly, no

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Nah, unless maybe if its homemade

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yeah occasionally, more of a Thai food chick or Japanese

119. Favourite book?

Kite Runner

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Low-key sometimes lol

121. Are you mean?

Hell noooo

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Ok, this is an interesting one lol I mean no, it’s not “okay” - since it usually constitutes lying/hiding/hurting someone - BUTTTT, for a lack of a better term - I wanna say it’s “normal”? But thats because I, personally, am on the fence about the concept of monogamy. Like no, I’ve never cheated nor experienced that in return - but the whole concept of monogamy and like that a person can love and only love or be with one person is WILLLLDDD and I can’t help but note that its a social construct that we, as a society, are conditioned to from the time we are born. Idk if that makes sense bc im high af lol but those are my thoughts…like to sum it up - cheating is fucked up and sucks, but at the same time its not all that surprising/shocking anymore, like borderline “normalized” just as divorces are and shit, so I feel like bc biologically we aren’t made to be with one person lol. I don’t condone it tho. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell to the naw naw

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Hmmm idk about that one, but also can’t deny it

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah of course, you’re talking to a hopeless romantic

126. Are you currently bored?

I guess we could say that

127. What makes you happy?

Food and close, loved ones

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, too much paper work

129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer, with my lil moody, sensitive ass

130. Do you like subway?

I did lol

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Story of my mf life lol literally all my exes are “best friends turned lovers” situation, so guess it would just depend lmao

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Lol oh godddd; ok off the top of my head - Tupac - Keep Ya Head Up is what comes to mind; just a timeless song and the lyrics are still relevant/apply to this day and idk just really resonate with the message behind that song <3

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk, but it was probably SO dumb, and told to my parents lol

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Either or, lately open so my cat can go in and out lol

137. How tall are you?

5’6 mayyybeee 5’5 actually lol

140. Summer or Winter?

Fall!!

141. Night or Day?

Def a lil night owl, always have been

142. Favourite month?

April and October for weather at least

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but I try, and go through phases, I’m definitely mindful the older I get and more focused on my health I become

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

FUCKIN ALLLLL

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee but I like tea too, just seem to drink coffee more regularly

146. Was today a good day?

The grateful-to-just-be-alive in me wants to say yes lol but idk, felt off/unaccomplished and cried a lot, so no.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“This too shall pass”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sure why not

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“After all, what he had always wanted was just that: to know new places.” -The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

[jangelorum]

Tagggg

 rules: once tagged you need to fill out these 92 truths and tag 25 people (fuc that its too much ok bye)

Tagged by the way too awesome @zeldasdiaries thank u darl

LAST

Drink: cinnamon milk that fucking burnt my soul so I guess im a phoenix nowhi

Phone Call: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dad

Text Message: Juds

Song you Listened To: Michael in the Bathroom from Be More Chill

Time You Cried: It’s been two weeks I think? wow

 HAVE YOU EVER

Dated Someone Twice: I didn’t even realize it was a first date or even a date, fucker, I’m dense

Been Cheated On: guess I can’t say shit

Kissed Someone and Regretted It: kissed who what now

Lost Someone Special: Yup.

Been Depressed: Mood swings sometimes go there

Been Drunk and Thrown Up: how. Havent even been drunk. How’s that feel homie

Made a New Friend: heCKA I’d die for them

Fallen Out of Love: fallen out of crush sounds more like it (boy. Bbbbbboy)

Laughed Until you Cried: WOOOOOOO

Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY BOY BOY

Found Out Someone was Talking About You: *inhales* WOOOOOOOOOoOooOooOoOooO

 GENERAL

How Many People on Tumblr Do You Know in Real Life: lmao like 3 shitheads from college. Hey losers yknow who you are. I’m talking to you you furry piece of trash

Do You Have Any Pets: I have a 2 year old Chihuahua named Princesa and she will annihilate you

Do You Want to Change your name?  I never particularly disliked my name, or liked it, I just thought it was too weird. I learnt the symbolism behind it  last year and dare I say, its spot on. Thanks ma

What Time Did You Wake Up this Morning? I think it was 10 am. Whoops

What Were You Doing Last Night? Drawing Llyr because I have no fucking self-control oh my god I hate reading

Have You Ever Talked To A Person named Tom? I thought they were myth.

What’s Getting On Your Nerves Right Now? Reading this fucking book for school

Blood Type: O+

Nickname: Lynxie, Lynx, Lyn, Jan, Boss, Grey overlord, the Queen of all Nutella

Zodiac Sign: Libra I think

Pronouns: She-her

Favorite Show: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh atla

College: the Ibero over here in Mexico

Hair Color: think Nutella and you got it

Do You Have A Crush On Someone: Nutella, I’m hungry

What Do You Think of Yourself: If I did a crunch every time I thought about the kids from my comic I would be more shredded than Goku

 FIRST

Surgery? Haven’t had an actual surgery ever

Piercing: Where my earrings are

First Sport You Joined: swimming, a lot others followed and I didn’t stay on one for long either way

First Vacation: idfk I was like 3 maybe

First Pair of Sneakers? How do you remember this

 RIGHT NOW

Eating: my lazyness

Drinking: water (fuck you Juds)

I’m About To: fucking read this shit im so tired

Listening To: my dad doing the dad cough noises upstairs. He sounds like a fucking truck

Dream Career: FeaturedWebtoonCreatorDontLaugh@Me

Want Kids: hhhhhhecka no

Want to Get Married: Probably. Idk how yall manage tho

 WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: Nose. Eyebrows. Nose,

Hugs or Kisses: fuck you

Shorter or Taller: Being taller than me isn’t the most daunting task a person could take yknow I say I like taller but everyone is taller yiaymean

Older or Younger: a year younger a year older who tf knows. Do they know the good memes?

Romantic or Spontaneous: I’m embarrassed either way

Sensitive or Loud: Either gets me

Hook Up or Relationship: Relationship tf

Troublemaker or Hesitant: how many shrimps do you have to eat, before your skin turns pink-

 HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a Stranger: what. how

Drank Hard Liquor: I can’t even drink root beer without switching over to water in 2 seconds heck im bad

Lost Contacts/Glasses: do sunglasses count. Yes.

Sex on First Date: who. what

Broken Someone’s Heart: oh sweetie he was a fucking psyco

Been Arrested: lmao sure 100000%

Turned Someone Down: Faded them so hard they became extinct

Fallen for a Friend: ha! Ha h a h a ha h a HAHA HA AH AAHA AHA HAH AHA yeahIcried

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: Yeah, thanks Sidon

Miracles: THERE CAN BE MIIIIIIIIIRACLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES (yes)

Love at First Sight: I don’t even believe in giving half a shit at first sight tho. Unless you spit me some meme

I tag uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh @queakenstein @philsterman01 @judithestelle @zelink-af @nasanerd09 @castiel-lord-of-the-underworld @trii-f0rce @pithya @philly--cheese--steak @namikodraws @unlucky-black-chat @intergalacticclouds @akanague @elopetothesea @sabakunocasali @yameme @damnitsizzi @sapphirezelda BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT OKI BAIII

[survivorsolomonislands]

Episode 7 “a clusterf*ck of paranoia”- Daisy

WEFUC K WE  SDFEDSX JUST VTOTED OUT KAREN FUCK AND I'M TRYNA RALLY OUR SPIRTS SBACK UP AND THEN ISAAC STARTS REMOVIN PEOPLE'S GRASSY ASSES FUCK FUKFCJD FUFK FUCK WE FEDS THIS HAS GOT TO BE A FUCKING MERBE A MERGE AT 14 HOLY GOLLY GOSH GOOD MOLLY MOSH WHAT THE FUCKDJX FUCK FUCK FKPDSOF I NEEDED MORE TIME FRIFODKF FCK

(a little bit later)

I'VE BEEN DYING TO MEET JOHNNY AND I FINALLY DID AND HE'S FUCKING EVERYTHING I'VE EVER FUCKING WANTED IN LIFE HE CALLS ME HOMIE AND I SWEAR TO GOD HE'S NOT LIKE EVERY OTHER FRAT BOY YOU'VE MET HE'S BEAUTIFUL AND GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH HIM BUT I ALSO WANT TO KILL HIM AND STRANGLE HIM BUT I FUCKING LOVE EVERY SECOND OF THE EXPERIENCE I LOVE HOW MUCH I HATE HIM

https://youtu.be/JNaS_mOM3yY

first off rest in peace karen i thought you were supposed to be good since you play so much but.. i suppose the mighty power of the chicken wing is not a force in tumblr survivor. anywho, so we switched like everyone expected but for some reason everyone thought it was a fun idea to freak out and be like "omg is it merge???" "WHATS GOING ON" "I DONT UNDERSTAND" ctfu yall literally knew damn well what was happening. its final 14 like it aint rocket science. as for my tribe, ive said it before and i will say it again - I HATE PURPLE!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! it is just not flattering against my skin tone and that is literally my number one concern at the moment. that might insult those who play this game like its life or death but to me... this is a very big aspect of my luck in the game. every time (literally not even joking) i get some ugly ass color, im fucked thats just the way it is and the weird blue that luca insists is cyan - get a crayon set pls - was working just fine for me! i was slayyyyinngggg without doing anything meaningful which is all that matters to me since its really fun watching people go crazy while i just sit here eating my nuggets in the break room. current thoughts of my tribemates and fellow one worlders: johnny - king of making final 2's and being in a frat. a dumbass who spilled his entire game once we swapped and got ratted out the second he did. stupid stupid stupid! i need him as a number tho so i cant be hasty with my opinions tho so like a 6/10 dana - has a paper to write. thats all i got right now 4/10 l.a. - A LITERAL FUCKING GODDESSSSSSS! all of the rookies should be bowing at her feet for trying so hard to make them safe cause if i was her... they would get a stern talking to and no help at all (plus she can clearly count which is more than i can do). 100000000/10 luca - literally victor next (i dont actually think he is victor but this dude is seriously wack like i just do not understand why he had the need to call me a grandma when im not even that old? like where is the residential hag when i need her zzzz. also he said he likes skype emojis and then used the cactus emoji which victor also uses so clearly something fucked up is happening!!!!!!!!) 1-ish/10 mitchell - fake hoe next (tho i do love the flattery so i guess they are right in saying it gets you everywhere cause ya got a ticket right on the bottom - word of the wise btwwww, next time you play pls stop taking advice from ya eggs cause they clearly do not help just ask karen in prejury hehe) 1-ish/10 ryan - king of all things survivor. how has he not won a ts season.... 10/10 allie - is from florida so either an icon like me or is like cole tbd. as luca said, can "air hump" really well??? not really useful info but thats all i got so next??? aro - im the 1. next. daisy - i hate the smell of flowers :| next jacob - legend was tagged in some nice pictures on facebook recently so he can stay. matt - lmao next willow - our friend willow teas? what comes after 6.gif. next. i really do not like talking to people and sadly i must. tho i just finished this one kdrama and it was like 50 episodes and the dad died literally in the last half hour of the entire show.... im crying i really am HE WAS A GOOD FUCKING PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the world is so cruel and so harsh to the loving but so kind to the evil where did we go wrong :'( PPPPPPPS : [4/18/17, 11:29:35 PM] nancy.sweitzer: shut up trump supporter [4/18/17, 11:29:42 PM] nancy.sweitzer: i have receipts of you supporting trump BB i need some food to watch this with so lets have reward hm?

I'm both so happy and scared about this swap. BLESS ULAWA BEING GONE. THAT WAS THE WORST TRIBE. IT DOESN'T DESERVE TO EXIST. But yeah, a few people came to me and were like you carried that tribe and are amazing, and as nice as that is, YOU DON'T WANNA HEAR IT ON SURVIVOR. Cause now I have a huge target on my back for being a "challenge icon". I do not trust Daisy or Aro at all either so I'm worried they will gun for me, but they are both on the other tribe so that's a plus... Maybe, this one world thing doesn't help me there. Now I have to catch up with Jacob, and the rest of the alliance and see where we all stand. I'm trying to set something up with Johnny as well cause we sort of clicked at the start and I need people.

im too sick to carry on. i cant even see the light im too far gone

Hi MTV welcome to my own private corner of Hell. Seriously I guess my burning desire for some action really warranted this swap that put me in a terrible ass position. I love the One World beach because I can wave to literally every single person I was working with as they wear their Makira buffs with pride and I am stuck with all Rookies and Zak! The only people I know are Zak and Jacob, and Zak threw Daisy's name out and Jacob says he trusts Daisy so I can't even wrangle all my loose allies to form a little alliance. I'm just going to use my social game to earn favor with people like Willow and Allie so that I can maybe survive juuuuuust long enough to make it to the merge and reconnect with my homies. I'm sort of praying for a miracle, but I'm also going to do whatever I can to survive, and if that means throwing Jacob or Zak under the bus then so be it. I am scrambling like eggs in the morning. Hopefully I can convince people to target Aro for his wishy washy nature and because I have planted the seed that he has an idol, and honestly maybe he does, so I smell a blindside coming up, but if they're not willing to budge then I could be a dead boy walken.

Dana mom doesnt approve of the act of sending nudes but like I don't spread em like seeds in a pumpkin patch (like this swap is doing w my alliance tbqh) or anything not everyone gets to see the goods

(a little bit later)

All right binches here's the tea! Daisy has an idol, and is trying to get people to think aro has the idol bc he made up a lie about a fake idol that he doesn't have, which saved his ass a few rounds back, and Jacob and Allie are saying Aro is sketchy. NOW thats not what I like hearing because Aro is my husband and all, so automatically my Worry Senses are tingling as they usually are it would seem. What I'm tryna do is scrape together a me/willow/aro/Matt majority (since allie apparently doesn't trust aro so I can't trust her) but I suck at approaching people so it sucks that dana and Mitchell aren't on my tribe to help me :( but get for being the least experienced vet in tumblr left in this game I think I'm in a moderately decent position

Well Day 2 of NuNuTemoana is quite interesting, I'm starting to create scenarios that will hopefully put me in a good situation. A) NuNuMakira will throw the challenge and vote out Luca or LA and B) I create an alliance with Willow and Allie and we become the swing votes between Jacob/Daisy and Zak/Aro and if Daisy or Aro have idols they're shooting their bullets at each other and I've got a bulletproof vest. Fingers crossed.

I'm gonna model the rest of my game after Cirie bc boy does she have me fucked up seven ways to Sunday right-about-now o'clock Also I'm not gonna be home again after tomorrow until May except for one day in between so this whole new tribe/quickly approaching merge thing is gonna get really sad for me when I randomly just disappear forever :)

The past few days have been a whirlwind. From uncovering that dirty business with Matt to this One World swap, I find myself in a tribe in which I'm not sure if I can stay safe. It hurts that I can't compete in this next immunity too. I trust Johnny/LA, but as far as the rest? Question marks all over. I like Mitchell a lot, still haven't talked with Dana much, I have no clue about Ryan/Lexi but Johnny says Lexi is tight with him. So I'm really not sure what happens if we lose an immunity here, and winning challenges might be my only shot to stay in the game. So what happens next? No clue.

MMMMHMHMHMHMHMHM YES!!! Willow finally spilled the tea which confirmed our suspicions on Karen :))) now alls I need is Lexi to get the fuck out and I can be satisfied by outlasting all the snakes

So I've officially worked my way into an alliance with Allie and Willow, hopefully they're not playing me and we can actually work towards getting out Daisy or Aro. Now Mitchell wants me to get Daisy out so we can rope in Aro and Zak at the merge but I also have somewhat of a relationship with Jacob from nuTemoana and he seems to have a relationship with Daisy so I am hopefully safely in the middle of this tribe and will be deciding this vote, but there's also a large chance I'm gonna get squashed smack dab in the middle. I mean ideally we win immunity and the other tribe can get out LA or Luca which would be great. I need these rookie numbers thinned like the mints so that I have options if I'm in the merge. I have my Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. Alliance which is Ryan, Mitchell, and Dana, I have nuTemoana which is Johnny, Jacob, Lex, and Ryan, and I have a possible alliance with Allie, Willow, and Mitchell. Preferably I wanna work with Mitchell because I trust him the most so far. But of course none of these numbers I'm running in my head matter if I can't make it until the merge which is crazy to me.

i wasnt successful in covering up my misery. i dont even know why i said i could do it since the only thing on that entire menu (all of the drink choices included) i actually do enjoy is the oreos so who knows what i was thinking. im going to get voted out i really am

tag yourself. im luca saying he cant compete cause they use blue solo cups instead of red solo cups in his country. isaac is la's roommate not letting her use her waterbottle. andrew is ryan only having glass in his house. pippa is matt actually doing this. stefan is willow beating the crap out of me. IM GOING HOME

Well I couldn't get it done today and that's a little disheartening, I definitely feel like I could be in danger and when you have the chance to save yourself and don't do it it sucks. I guess now my focus is on playing this game for like the first time this season honestly, a lot of things are at stake in this tribal, there's idols there's alliances there's tribe swaps, there's beef in this game, and I feel like hopefully I can shift the attention towards Daisy vs. Aro, but there's also a lurking nuMakira alliance that might form and getting an Ulawa out wouldn't do anything in the long run but I need to play to make it so that I'm safe until tomorrow or else there won't even be a long run. I wanted to be in a position where I could run a marathon but instead I'm like running a relay race tribal to tribal. If I get rid of Daisy Jacob may lose trust in me and join a Makira alliance, but also maybe I'll just join the Makira alliance myself? I mean I told myself I would do what it takes to win, my obligations are to myself at this point, not Temoana not Makira, not Vets, but MESELF. Well who knows at this point what's gonna happen, hopefully my plan works.

MATT STFU CALLING ME OUT IN THE MAIN CHAT YOU MOTHERFUCKER! Literally your ass would not be in this game right now if I didn't win the challenge where we counted in our confessional. The plan was in play, you were going to be gone, we had the numbers, and now you're on a tribe where it's minority veterans, so hopefully Allie and Willow aren't idiots, and they just take out Matt because he's kind of an arrogant prick, but I'm sure that something sketchy is going to happen, and they're going to take out a rookie, probably Aro or Daisy since apparently they're being sketchy motherfuckers. Grrrrrrrr Matt needs to stfu. I still have quotes of him talking about LA, so I might use that to my advantage, but we'll see how this goes for now. I'm not ready for merge and these unpredictable motherfuckers in Allie and Willow.... I have no idea where either of their heads are at. As for my tribe right now, I'm 99% sure that Lex, Ryan and I are in the driver's seat on this tribe, with Luca, LA, Mitchell and Dana all wanting to work with us. I wouldn't mind losing to get rid of Dana, because I really really really want her out, simply because I haven't spoken to her as much, and I'd prefer to have good relationships with everyone once we get to merge, and I don't want anyone to think about taking me out of this game because I don't have a good enough relationship with them, so we'll see for now. Ryan hinted this morning that he'd prefer Mitchell to go home over Dana, but I want Dana to go home, and I wanna keep my brolationship with Mitchell for as long as I can. This is just fuel for fire I can use against Ryan if I have to, to get Mitchell to trust me, since according to Ryan, Mitchell is obsessed with me.. I also won the challenge for my tribe single handedly because I'm the king of this game, and no one is on my level strategically, socially or physically if we're being honest. I just need to NOT be known as that big threat once I get to merge. Time to just pit people against each other and throw shit and sound dumb like I always  do ¯\_(���)_/¯

Fuck this is so nerve wracking. I hate that I'm at tribal again. And I've recently been really anxious about the fact that L.A. knows I have an idol, and just now I found out that a lot of people know that I have it. Which means L.A. has been telling people. Which also means that I'm kind of screwed. I want to get out Aro because I know how tricky he is and how terrible he is in challenges, but he has the idol and if he plays it I could very well be going home. Plus I'm realizing that I don't really have any solidified alliances with a lot of these people so I could easily be targeted, especially since they think I have an idol. Honestly part of me just wants to play it tonight and get rid of it and get it off my back. Or give it to someone. But if I give it to someone, then other people will still think I have it and I'll still be a target. I could try to split the votes, but that seems kind of aggressive and I don't want to make myself a target if I'm not one already. Ugh, fuck. I wish I had someone to talk this over with.

(a little bit later)

Whew I know I just submitted but I have so many thoughts right now. Aro seems to think things are gonna go along tribe lines and it's gonna be me and him as swing votes. Willow brought up Aro's name to me. I'm nervous that Willow maybe brought up his name to make me feel more secure about it, and maybe I'm the target. Maybe Aro is right and things are gonna go along past tribe lines but I don't really want to work with him. Maybe I could try to split the votes between me and Aro and I'll play my idol and get rid of it. That would be dumb though, right? I hate that we have so little time and that like, no one is online right now. It's so hard to plan. Jacob told me he cast his vote for Aro because he only had a couple minutes before he had to leave and he wouldn't be gone. So theres gonna be at least one vote for him. Unless everyone is lying to me. Fuck I'm so paranoid right now, but I don't know how to figure out if its just paranoia or if there's actually something there. Also I'm trying to seem invested in planning out the vote with Aro so that he doesn't think I'm targeting him, but he could also quote me to others and make them think I'm targeting them. So now it seems like I have Willow, Matt, Jacob, and Allie all voting for Aro with me. Aro wants to target a vet and apparently he's close with Zakriah which means we may want to divert Zakriah too so that he doesn't leak to Aro and have him play an idol. But now I'm worried by suggesting that we divert Zakriah I'm playing too aggressively. Ugh. Aro said he's gonna talk to the rookies and see who they would rather vote for, I told them I'm trying to divert him so that they're not confused or surprised that he says I wanna vote for a vet when I already targeted him. This is a lot to deal with, and we don't have a lot of time. Tbh this confessional is a clusterfuck of paranoia.

Okay so I'm out with friends and don't have time to write a real confessional but I don't wanna get a strike. So if I get home in time I'll write a real confessional yeah

I think for the first time in Survivor history one of my plans is actually working, it seems that Daisy is totally sold that Aro is going and voting me and it's awesome if she ends up getting blindsided as intended. Jacob is getting two votes because he sucks and I want him to know he should be worried, he threw my name out, and he's untrustworthy, even after like I pretended like i was interested in his crush that he talks about at least once a day, it's almost more satisfying knowing that I can flip and get him out if I really wanted to. In fact I have my choice to vote Daisy, Aro, or Jacob, and if I'm not getting played that wold mean I've spun this terrible swap into a great spot for myself, and I love it. See what happens when I get a chance to really play?

I am so screeeeewed. So basically everyone except Daisy and Jacob wants to vote for Daisy but I am about 90% sure this is bs and I am getting set up for a big blindside. Well, it wont really be a blindside now but rip me

Okay so I only really have 13 mins to type out a fuck ton of information. This vote is crazy, so much has happened and we only had a few hours to strategize for this tribal. Anyway originally me and Allie were thinking about voting Daisy bc she told LA she has an idol, but then LA sent screenshots of Aro's idol. So I was panicking for a moment bc I thought it was real, but I talked to people, and he was probably really desperate, so i think were sticking to voting out Aro. I'm just typing out the short version of what actually happened, bc I don't have a lot of time, but basically me and Allie are the swing votes and I hope everything goes as planned.

As we near tribal Im starting to get the teeniest glimmer of hope. Willow, Allie and Matt seems to be pretty interested in working with me. If it goes according to plan its going to be 3 votes Daisy, 2 votes Jacob and 2 votes me. However Im still about 80% sure that Im going to get blindsided tonight so fingers crossed