#i guess we'll read about psychology as well so

[a-carnie-and-a-cop]

So, i had the idea of trying to understand Travis a bit more deeply, by doing research and other stuff. I feel like we know so little about him, his personality, why he behaves the way he does, why is he afraid of his parents, etc. most of the time i can't feel him when i read fics, like "is he like this? would he do this?" i feel kind of in the dark

to help with that I asked someone who is an academic, she teaches creative writing i guess and she knows all about creating characters, the why's and how's etc. (she knows bascially all about csi and its characters, especially grissom x sara) so she gave me tons to start with.

and i was wondering if anyone would like to help with that, or is curious about Travis in that way and would like to join. sometimes we will have to read the character like we would in real life and i'm not good with that, still learning so someone to help would be nice. oh and it's important to be unbiased about him, it's not what we want, it's what it is.

if you're interested let me know

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

i think Helaena can be autistic but also a happy and joyful girl , autism ≠ depression. the way the portrayed the only neurodivergent character on screen as unstable, shunned depressed, and with no importance to the plot feel very ableist and weird , but then they're the ones who made the guy with a foot disability a feet fetishist 🫠

Hi OP, finally answering this because the trailer dropped and still the only Helaena shots we have are from her Jaehaerys' funeral. There is also one still photo of her. If you haven't seen it, here she is, apparently sewing the funeral shroud for her little boy:

So it seems like season 2 is going to continue on this trajectory for Helaena as a character who exists in order to suffer beautifully.

Don't get me wrong. I am glad that the show is going to wring the full emotional effect from Blood and Cheese, not just shock value. The audience will feel the real horror of a six year old child brutally murdered in his own home and the psychological torment of Helaena. It should be terrible, it should be devastating, and I hope they do not pull any punches.

What's disappointing about how the show has handled Helaena is that they didn't really put any effort into building up her character before her tragedy. It's all well and good that she likes bugs and she's touch averse, but what are her opinions? Who is she closest to? How did she react to becoming a mother so young? To what extent does she understand her visions? What does she value? She can be happy and cheerful, or she can be frustrated and angry, and hell, she can be depressed too, but I need to know why. It's telling that I can describe the basic internal motivations for each of the male children, including Luke who was a glorified plot device, but I cannot for Helaena. Aegon wants to feel loved, Jace wants to prove he's as worthy as any trueborn heir, Aemond wants what his brother has, Luke wants to be free from his family's expectations. Helaena? Fuck if I know. I guess she wants not to die horribly.

The ableism is an issue. F&B is full of women who were deemed "simple" -- Gael, Daella, Jaehaera-- without being given much else to define them, and HotD adds another (there's something, I think, to the way the "simple" Targaryens are always women and how disability kind of used as a way to remove them from the narrative and shunt them aside, often tragically). And while it's great to see an autistic person represented on screen, the show consistently has an issue with treating representation as characterization. "Autistic girl who likes bugs" is not a personality. Autistic people, (even those with horrifying prophesies I assume), do have hopes and dreams and feelings about things. The one peek we get into Helaena's life is at the in episode 8 when she roasts Aegon and even that scene is open to interpretation (and gets taken wildly out of context). Now, I can read a lot into the actor performances, but ultimately, lines that could have given a glimpse Helaena personality were cut. It's as if they're afraid that if they give her an opinion on anything she would lose that (frankly kind of infantilizing) "pure cinnamon roll too good for this world" "i would die for her" sympathy from people who are not inclined to be sympathetic for her family as a whole.

(And anon, you're right about Larys. And let me say, turning Larys' clubfoot into the punchline of an OnlyFeet joke also does not inspire confidence that they'll handle Aegon II's eventual disability with any sensitivity either, especially when Mushroom's accounts of his last few months are incredibly mean spirited. We need to start that discourse now so they get the memo).

Sadly, I don't think the show really has any intention of course correcting with Helaena in season 2. I imagine at most we'll have her try to warn Aegon and/or Aemond about Blood & Cheese but they won't understand her warning, and then this will be a vehicle to further their guilt and grief. And while we do need to see Aegon's guilt and his grief, I also want to know if Helaena blames herself, if she wishes they'd run away when they had the chance, if she thinks Aegon could have done something, if she is angry at Aemond for killing Luke, if she wants revenge. I do think, with the public funeral for Jaehaerys, they are going to show that the smallfolk are fond of Helaena, and hopefully that will be expanded upon this season and in season 3 because her death is the catalyst for the revolt that sees Rhaenyra driven from the city, and we should understand why her death has such an impact before she actually dies.

[zaenaris]

＃50「Meet his fate」: and today we say goodbye to TR best antagonist

wow, they really gave Kisaki a gay ass weird flash back(?) about Takemichi?

That "I just wanted to be like you" wasn't in the manga (even if, reading between the lines, even from the manga the reader could get there was this feeling involved, beside Kisaki’s superiority/inferiority complex towards Takemichi)

I didn't expect it since his death in the manga is quick and brutal but it's a very good adaptation choice, it makes sense and it explains better Kisaki's contrasting feelings for both Takemichi and Hina. But surely we had some kisatake fan in the anime team for this episode which, again, good??? but really unexpected

I like Kisaki, he's a good villain, but, I'm sorry Truck-kun arriving and doing like in "Mean Girls" is still funny to me (and I talk as someone who appreciate Kisaki as a character and as a villain lol). But after that, the way his limbs are all broken and he's like that on the street it's really sad/horrifying, Wakui was able to show how much pain there was in his dying body in that moment, beside the psychological fact he knew he was dying and didn't want to, he still had so much to do for his evil plan.

They kept unchanged the moments with Inupi and Hakkai on Inupi's bike which is cute, especially considering their past with the Black Dragon, with Taiju as Inupi's boss.

I would have like to see the relationship between the inuneko duo and Hakkai and Yuzuha, prior the BD arc, where of course they're opponents: what I mean, is that I would have liked to see their "everyday life" relationship: did they have to watch over Yuzuha and Hakkai - we know Taiju has a weird/abusive sense of familial love, but he still cares about them and kokonui are his second in commands and most trusted soldiers- or were they indifferent to the younger Shiba Sibling? Something else? we'll never know.

It's also cute considering the Thousand Winter🥹 and Hakkai's birthday pic where he asks Inupi for a strawberry lol

They also kept Koko, that should be on Inupi's bike with him, but he walks away, alone for the first time (and he will be alone from now on, kill me right now)

Also, they closed the season with a weird cliffhanger?

For the other parts we really had some Big Cliffhanger™️, here everyone gets that something is pending but well… I guess they really had no time, they made a faithful adaptation of the manga, there was no time to add anything else. The arc is not really closed like that, we still have to say our proper goodby to Emma, Izana and Kisaki, we still have the inukoko farewell...

...but alas, it is what it is.

I hope we'll get the confirmation for a next season, that sure, will open saying goodbye to the tenjiku arc, -it opens with an ending... weird- but i guess there was no other choice given the pacing of this season

[saffronapplemanga]

Recent Read Manga Recommendation Round Up - Part 2

More manga I’ve been enjoying recently! Part 1 recommendation list here. Twitter link to this post here.

~Links to my other manga posts~ My personal favs/ones I super enjoyed will have a ✨ on them :)

Got more new titles and shorter reads this time around!

Some of these don't have official (or unofficial) EN translations since I read a lot of JP-only manga and I’d like to make people aware of those titles too! My hope is that bringing awareness to them will help get them licensed :) I guess if any sound interesting, ask publishers to license them! I’ll link any dedicated posts I have for each title.

PLEASE LOOK UP ANY TRIGGER WARNINGS!

HISTORICAL, DRAMA

✨Tenmaku no Jadoogar: A Witch’s Life in Mongol by Tomato Soup

(3 volumes, ongoing)

JP only. The first 5 chapters are up for free in JP here. English summary in this post

A learned Irani slave girl is taken captive by the Mongols in the 13th century and has to use her knowledge to survive. Well-researched historical fiction about Fatima, who was a real person in history. I wrote a long detailed post about it, so check it out!

DRAMA, ART

✨Untitled Blue by Natsume Yukiko

(3 volumes, ongoing)

JP only - English summary in this post

I fell for Untitled Blue SO HARD, and I need the next volume immediately. A suicidal boy who just wants to make art uses the name of a burnt-out prodigy girl to sell his works in anonymity. The found family vibes and feels are strong in this one... And there are some absolutely SICK pages in this.

DRAMA, PSYCHOLOGICAL, ROMANCE

Haru’s Curse by Konishi Asuka

(2 volumes, complete)

Available in English

A woman falls for her dead sister's man and we follow a story about guilt and grief. This is a well-written short manga that tackles touchy topics in a thoughtful manner.

PSYCHOLOGICAL, DRAMA, SCI-FI

Takopi’s Original Sin by Taizan5

(2 volumes, complete)

English available to read on mangaplus

A short manga that was quite popular in Japan by the same author of the currently publishing Jump series The Ichinose Family's Deadly Sins, this title is a good intro into Taizan 5's work. The art is expressive, the page turn is used well, and it takes a look at human psychology through three children with complicated relationships and living situations.

LGBTQ, SLICE OF LIFE

Kawa yori mo Nagaku Yuruyaka ni by Yoshida Akimi

(2 volumes, complete)

JP only

From Yoshida-sensei of Banana Fish fame, this short manga predates her more well-known work and you can see her explore some of the themes and ideas that you'll often see in Yoshida's works. I didn't relate to the characters (Which is actually nice sometimes! Different perspectives are good!) and it's kind of a weird manga, but it got a few laughs out of me and it was cool seeing Yoshida experiment.

This is how he introduced himself to an American working at the base - WILD

COMEDY, SLICE OF LIFE

✨Let's Go Karaoke! by Wayama Yama

(oneshot)

Available in English

I've been eyeing this title for YEARS and almost bought it so many times. Finally read it and idk why it took me so long. A charming, quirky, silly, wholesome story about a yakuza getting singing lessons from a choir kid. There's a sequel that's currently being published, ファミレス行こ/Famiresu Iko/"Let's Go To a Diner," but it seems to have a slow release schedule and hasn't been released in volume form yet. I don't see it available to read digitally either so I guess we'll just wait for a tankobon release.

COMEDY, SLICE OF LIFE

✨Captivated, by You by Wayama Yama

(oneshot)

Available in English

A wholesome quick read that left me with a smile on my face. The characters in this manga are just sweet kids and it's delightfully mundane. I mean that in the best way. It was just so nice to read.

COMEDY, SLICE OF LIFE

✨Onna no Sono no Hoshi by Wayama Yama

(3 volumes, ongoing)

JP only

More of Wayama Yama's infectious brand of humor and fuzzy feelings that I'm completely in love with at this point. Read what I said for the last two titles - same good stuff.

DRAMA, SCI-FI, MYSTERY

✨Gene Bride by Takano Hitomi

(3 volumes, ongoing)

JP only - English summary in this post

Sci-fi title that slowly unfolds its mystery and features two incredibly charming characters with a hilarious dynamic and tons of personality.

DRAMA, SLICE OF LIFE

✨Ikoku Nikki by Yamashita Tomoko

(11 volumes, complete)

JP only

My current read!

15-year old Asa's parents passed away in a car accident and her aunt, Makio, who works as an author has taken her in. This series is so human and makes me feel too seen and it's too relatable... Gives me the warm and fuzzies but also makes me want to cry. I need Makio in my life tbh.

Just gonna leave this here...

[critterofthenight]

✩‧₊˚ 15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS ˚₊‧✩

omg thank you so much for the tag @adickaboutspoons!! (〃°ω°〃) ₊˚⊹♡

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?: irl no, but the name i chose is after Mazikeen from Lucifer

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: yesterday

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: nope and i don't plan to

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?: i used to do competitive ballroom dance since kindergarten up to 11th grade. i also used to play basketball and do judo for a few years in elementary school, but those didn't stick.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?: yep :D

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?: most of the time their personal style, especially if they look cool (//ω//)

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?: brown

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?: i'm a big horror enthusiast, but i start to warm up to happier movies too ( =ω= )

ANY TALENTS?: hmm, i think i draw pretty good? also i can dance and i always did well in school without much effort, especially from history

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: Hungary

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?: nowadays not much cause i have to study for my matura exams, but i love drawing and reading. listening to music, too, but that counts more like a lifestyle at this point.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: a dog <333

HOW TALL ARE YOU?: 158 cms, so like 5'2"-ish

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?: can't choose between art, biology and literature. i also used to love history but then i had a terrible teacher in high school.

DREAM JOB?: i wanted to be an artist for a long time, and i still kinda do, but i plan to study psychology in uni, so we'll see what i end up as, i guess

no pressure tags: @blood-loving-leech @kameonerd566 @lesbianthatyaps @overtaken-boredom @laczki @fleurafae @hexedvampire @ashes-skye @eos-dazzle @viktheviking1 @anonymous-shxtposter @simp4vampires @groverpercyjackson @lesbian-cannibals @flovqy + anyone who wants to do it (o^ ^o)♡

[ollie-z-opossums]

!! Intro thingy !!

(edited)

Hi!! I don't go online very often but you gotta start somewhere so, hello! I'm Ollie! I am also a we. System/plural, whatever you want to call it, but collectively we go by Ollie! He/Him or They pronouns! If you decide to interact, please be patient, understanding and respectful :3

☆ System stuff first I guess

There's more of us somewhere ;^;

Ollie/Oxcy - He/One/Non/It/Fluff

Lance - He/They/One

Marbles - He/Zey/Fuzz

Puppie - He/Non/Fluff/Fuzz

Hades - He/Non/One

Mama bear - They/He/One/She

Sherlock - He/They

Jess - It/They

King - He/King/>:p

Axe - It/Grr/He

Arron Burr - He/Him

Maybe we'll give individual introductions too at some point :p

None of us really talk much about our plurality, for many reasons but mostly because it's difficult for us to put into words. I don't think we'll talk much about it here either but who knows

Extra: We haven't settled on a system name and use I/me and we/us very loosely and randomly

☆ Nonhuman identity

We collectively identify as the concept of nothing, nonhuman/polytherian, Canine, Ursus and opossum kin! Mostly spirituality and psychologically I identify as a grizzly/polar bear, wolf and/or dog, opossum as well as a deer/stag a king cheetah and crow. I'm raccoon hearted, shark hearted, otter hearted, pigeon and crow hearted and lion hearted. But We've always loved animals in general :3

☆ LGBTQ+

Gender: Trans guy, Demigender, Xenogender (horde on Pinterest >:3)

Attraction: Aroace / Asexual+ Abro/Gay/Omniromantic (romantic and platonic attention it difficult to differentiate)

Open to polyamory and queer platonic relationships!! Currently in a QPR with @ancientspaceraccoon <33

☆ Other stuff

I regularly go to therapy, I have social anxiety, ASD, ADHD, MaDD (among other things) and age regress!! (some of us). I'm interested in space, philosophy and psychology and cartoons (especially Voltron). My music taste is "yes"/"I'm a music slut" I will literally listen to anything. Recommend me stuff if you'd like! We're also an artist! I'd like to think we have a consistent art style but what do I know. I guess I'm also a bit of a writer? :v

Anyway, thanks for reading my intro! Hope this'll get me to interact with more people. Maybe we can be friends! :3

- Ollie out!

[thefirstknife]

Idk if you saw, but there's another Esi log available!

https://youtu.be/xoxf0LFYtNk

Looks like Neomuna did have Exos at the start but the Veil is, uh, unhealthy for them. And the Von Neumann mention suggests that the Veil is somehow related to consciousness and memory.

I JUST saw it! Had no clue that the first decrypted log is already available, although I do remember seeing a quest marker at the console when I finished the quest originally. Except you can't get back in there from the Veil room and there was a timer.

Anyway, if you've finished the Lightfall quest, you can go back to pick up another log (there's no combat, there's an option to load directly into the room with the console when you click on the Veil Containment on the map).

Clickable link!

This is everything we wanted. It's a really detailed look into the timeline of the Veil and the original research on it. Can't believe we'll get 15 of these. Transcript for the first one and a dive into it (it will be under read more because it's long af):

Chioma Esi, research log: the Veil. [sighs] I don't even know where to start. When we landed on Neptune, there was... something waiting for us. An alien structure. It's an electromagnetic anomaly. No mass, but a tangible surface area. It's like a thesis statement to the Von Neumann-Wigner hypothesis. It's definitely paracausal, like the Traveler. Maya calls it the Veil. She says she heard the name in a whisper when... when she looked at it. When I asked her who whispered, she said it was... her own voice. I still haven't had time to process that. Everyone on the initial survey team died. The minute they touched the object, they entered a state of... of brain death. All of them. To make it worse, the EM radiation emitting from the Veil is causing psychological distress in the Exos that came with us. They've all described moments of intense, hallucinogenic reverie. Some of them went silent and rigid and just... stopped. Maya called it "billboarding." Something from the early days of Clovis Bray's Exomind project. She doesn't seem afraid. Or surprised. She's convinced this thing—in her own words, she says—it'll be our "salvation."

First of all: the Veil arrived before Exodus Indigo so Savathun put it there prior to their arrival on Neptune. Don't know if it predates the ECHO ship, as it depends on the timeline in general and when it launched in relation to the Collapse. Savathun took the Veil from Nezarec, and Nezarec showed up when the Collapse started so. I will hazard a guess that the ECHO ship predates the Veil on Neptune and Savathun put the Veil there in between ECHO and Exodus Indigo landings.

As suspected, the team was immediately confused about the Veil and couldn't really process what it is. They immediately recognised that it's paracausal so that might throw some possible research avenues down the drain. The mention of the Von Neumann-Wigner hypothesis is definitely a link to consciousness and memory which is a nice in-universe confirmation (so far we've only had the quote from the artist who designed the Veil). If you want to go down the rabbit hole of quantum mechanics to try and understand this fully, feel free. I would add that this also might signal that not only is this related to what we already know (consciousness and memory), but possibly also entropy and time.

The next part about Maya knowing its name by hearing it being said in a whisper, by herself, is intriguing. She heard it only by looking at it; it may have made a link to her consciousness and she may have experienced something like a vision. A reminder that Maya worked with Vex simulations as well as the Device, a machine she called a "mind-ship" and that can also be described as a mind-forking device that was capable of displacing the user's consciousness and allowing them to see through different timelines or futures. Once again I am becoming more and more convinced that the Device connection between consciousness and time is true and that all predictive abilities are possible because of the same thing. The Veil may be that thing or a powerful amplifier of that thing or something along those lines. Either way, Maya was able to almost instinctively connect to the Veil, maybe because of her prior work with other consciousness-splitting technology.

The next bit is bizarre and also incredibly interesting. The Veil's electromagnetic radiation was severely disrupting to Exos. This explains why there's no Exos on Neomuna and why Neomuni were confused to see living Exos. To them, they simply can't survive there. Guardians are very likely exempt because they're Guardians, so they're fine. Mentioning "billboarding" is important however: billboarding was something that was happening to first Exos before Clovis figured out what he needs to make the alkahest work. Relevant excerpts from Clovis' journal:

The major obstacle to a viable exomind is the loop/billboard/crash cycle.

Early attempts at uploaded consciousness were haunted by fears that the upload would suffer "cryptic loss of qualia": the unseen death of the first-person, conscious mind. The upload would then become a so-called billboard, a flat imitation. I lobbied the ISO to establish a standard for a "certified conscious simulacrum." Any emulation of a human brain must display neural activity correlated with consciousness, particularly in the nuclei of the thalamus, midbrain, and pons. (Modern philosophy is satisfied that all qualia have neural correlates.)

Many researchers refer to this criterion as the "zombie detector."

The problem with exominds is that they quickly stop passing the zombie test.

The first stage of the breakdown is looping-the same repetitive, stereotyped behavior once observed in zoo animals. Prototype exominds begin to repeat similar conversations and action schemes. This stereotypy descends from high-level social behaviors, through cognitive programs like memory recall and task selection, into basic motor functions. The mid-stage symptoms are pacing, chewing, rocking, grunting, striking limbs against walls or furniture, and facial tics. This is a result of depressed activity in the higher brain. Without input from the prefrontal cortex, the basal ganglia stops selecting new motor programs.

We're already seeing the issue. The issue is uploading consciousness. It wasn't possible without eventually billboarding the human as it no longer possess the ability to continue producing brain activity. Clovis concludes:

The driver of this degenerative loop is a process we call "billboarding." No matter how actively we stimulate the exobody, how rich we make its social and cognitive environment, and how powerful its senses, we still observe the gradual shutdown of exoneurons. The neural correlates of consciousness in the midbrain are among the first to die. The exomind-despite acing the Turing test-no longer meets ISO standards for consciousness. It is a philosophical zombie.

Clovis continues:

I believe the human mind is engaged in constant self-correction. In order to filter out external causation that might disrupt our self-loops, the mind screens out errors (caused by cosmic rays, EM fields, prions, chemical misfires, irritating conversations, etc.) by running a kind of constant checksum on itself. Perhaps this recursive self-checking is even the source of consciousness itself!

Exominds, however, are immune to these natural sources of error. They are not messy enough. They do not suffer enough jitter, enough degradation.

And:

Without countervailing entropy, the very self-corrective processes meant to maintain the human mind calcify and kill it.

I believe this is why the exominds fail.

If the exominds are to be viable shelters against mortality, I must find a useful source of noise. Emulation of biological error will not be enough-the exomind is designed for total immunity to such fleshy noise, after all.

That source of error must be Clarity. The effect generated by Clarity Control.

And he was right! Clarity aka the Darkness was able to purify the base Exo juice (radiolaria) and give it that necessary background noise and perhaps even consciousness itself. Clovis says:

The Vex radiolarian fluid is obviously too virulent for use in exominds. But if exposed to Clarity, the Vex patterns break down, and the fluid takes on some of the properties of Clarity itself—namely, its reductive effect.

Introducing a tiny aliquot of this reified Clarity into an exomind solves the loop/billboard/crash cycle. As far as I can tell—permanently.

But the Veil has a negative effect on this. It resets the billboarding. Almost as if the Veil negates everything about the exposure to Clarity; maybe nullifying it or blocking it or extracting it. Clarity was already causing Exos to receive dreams; collective dreams even, dreams they all share, possibly because they're all connected to the same source of consciousness. Don't forget also that they all share the vision of a dark tower in their dreams, a tower that might be the Darkness structure that Clovis and his team saw on the Vex world Volantis.

Around the glass, a shallow sea trembled with tiny, intersecting waves. In one direction, a cloud of mist obscured a shattered tower, its form uncannily different from the surrounding architecture. Above us loomed structures linked by bolts of lightning, reminiscent of the Citadel ruins on Venus.

And that was when, in spite of the awesome power on display, I felt crushing disappointment.

There was no trace of Clarity s influence here at all. Except perhaps in that mysterious tower...?

Possibly important as well to understand why the Veil reverted the billboarding which Clarity initially solved:

The exos are intrinsically robust; the seed of Clarity within them has natural anti-Vex properties.

Strange. Another strange detail is the Vex-Maya that attacked Clovis. The Vex-Maya only attacked him so that he would show her Clarity Control:

Now take me to Clarity Control. Take me to the garden's seed. Take me. Take me. Take me. Take me. Take me. Take me. Take me. Take me—

Again, I'm seeing this vague and constant background link to the Vex that keeps coming back and is present in some way when we deal with any of this. Even the Exos themselves could not function before Clovis made the alkahest: radiolaria exposed to Clarity. The Vex are crucial for giving life to the Exos.

All of this is beyond wild. Connected in some way, but almost impossible to know which exact thread to follow. It's very intriguing that the Veil was able to effectively render the Exos dead just by proximity, by affecting/removing the aspect of them that relates to how their consciousness was stabilised: Clarity Control exposure. I'll definitely need more information and more people collaborating on solving this with other ideas as well.

And of course. The ending of the log is a bomb. Maya was not concerned about this. She was convinced that the Veil would be their "salvation." Concerning, but fascinating. I'm sure Maya was a lot more connected to the Veil than we currently understand. And the mention of "salvation" is also, of course, a direct link to the Witness. Maya was someone who spent a lot of time exposed to various dangerous elements related to consciousness such as Vex simulations, the Device and then the Veil. She may have knowingly or unknowingly, well... witnessed the Witness out there somewhere and perhaps even channeled it or see through its eyes or through its past (or future). Throwing random possible initial ideas out there. Maya saying that is significant for our understanding of the Witness, the Veil and her for sure.

The conversation between Osiris and Nimbus is nice because it recaps what we learned from the raid. So for people who don't get to raid, this is a nice summary of Savathun killing Nezarec, stealing the Veil from his ship and transporting it to Neptune.

Anyway, yeah. I am normal about this quest's lore. And there will be more of it. So much more. Category 10 lore event is happening. If people are wondering btw, this never would've fit within the campaign. It's too much and too long and too complex. This is why we didn't get any proper information immediately. The campaign was an action move; this lore would've turned it into a mystical scifi epic. It's one of the most interesting things I've ever read in Destiny and I'm glad it wasn't shortened and glossed over to fit in the base campaign, but was given time to build up and then be revealed over time step by step to give us time to truly process each log. Fascianting stuff. Absolutely in love with every word and the possibilities and speculation it enables.

[sifonie]

AHH, okay, well... honestly - where do i even start with how awesome i find your portrayal of MM / sibyl to be?! from the moment i saw your account, ramone, i was drawn to it because it just seemed like such a unique premise to me 😍 like an original version of MM that's separate from canon? that is something that i had yet to see before i came here on tumblr, but goshhh, am i glad that i started to rp here with you.

your writing just has SUCH a distinct voice that whenever i see it on the dash... i can immediately recognize it, and i mean that in the absolute best way, because it's just SO good!! + that drabble that you made for sibyl a little bit ago is a perfect example of how much your writing shines to me TBH because it was very detailed and it flowed SO well. plus, i love the way that you portray sibyl as someone who is kind of merciless in the way that they regard other's, as villains who view other's as 'beneath them' is really interesting to me in a psychological standpoint.

and we'll always be in need of villains around here that don't mess around because, well, you can't have a story without a good antagonist - am i right? which i'd definitely consider your MM to be as they puppeteer people quite literally and use other's to their own advantage. however, they're also more than that because they have their moments where they act more... 'normal,' i guess you could say, as people are multi-faceted and can't be evil 100% of the time. which is also something i LOVE because it really makes sibyl seem real since people can sometimes contradict themselves and usually do have good qualities to them even if they aren't always present; though, i know i've probably said that plenty of times already, so i'm just sounding like a broken record here haha.

thus, let me just sum up what i'm trying to say here real quick: you've made sibyl into such a complex character who is equal parts capable of being a rather cold-hearted person and also capable of doing things like being a good sibling figure to someone else (which would be barton in this case) + i think that that is just inexplicably AWESOME. because i have to acknowledge that it takes skill to balance both of those lines of behaviors in one singular character, and even when they surprise me, they aren't ooc because it's just like i'm learning more about the character!! so yeahhh. i ADORE your portrayal of music meister and i just wanted to say, keep up the good work, my friend 🫶

how's my portrayal ?

HEY DID U KNOW,,, DID U KNOW,,, I LOVE YOU ???

so i saw this ask the day you sent it but i've been reading it over and over because oh my god does it make me feel good. Autumn, I utterly adore you, you're one of my dearest, closest friends!!! I am absolutely joyful that you enjoy my portrayal THIS MUCH... to send me paragraphs of praise... I really feel like I'm doing as well as you've said. Thank you so, so much for loving this spur-of-the-moment character I slapped together and made into a creation I love more than words can say.

My nerves and self-esteem are usually very bad, but I do think having you as a friend and being in this community has certainly helped me. I adore my mutuals, I adore Sibyl. I wish I could collect my thoughts enough to write back a long, beautiful message about how much I appreciate you, but I hope you can take this reply as a fraction of my thankfulness. THANK YOU!! <3

[thedawningofthehour]

I’ve finally finished the chapter!!! :) now I can ask about it.

I don’t know about you but I despise sandels. I would wack him upside the head too. They’re uncomfortable and make weird noises on the floor. They’re just really weird to me I guess. So I appreciate Hueso.

I don’t know if she’s been talked about before in the fic but I assume the girl is Kendra. She always seemed to have a lollipop of some sort on her. I miss watching her and Donnies fights in the show. They were always really funny.

I speak from experience when I say that this ^ is one of the most accurate descriptions I have ever read. When something traumatic happens people brains have a really cool function of forget, ignore/deactualize (is that a word?) or break down. From personal experience I understand the “I know this is really bad but it’s bad to the point of my brain giving up comprehending it and it simply doesn’t compute as anything worth my attention.” I don’t remember from my psych class last year what the name of it is, but I know theres a psychological name for it.

If this is going where I hope it’s going, i’m really excited! Gale isn’t the type of person to see something like that and leave it be. So i’m excited to see what he does with the info.

This made me want to cry. Thats all.

Love your work! Have a great day/evening/night. Can’t wait for the next update :)

Oh yeah, they are loud. I wasn't even really thinking about it from that direction, but Leo would absolutely be the dumb bitch who wore flipflops to a stealth mission.

Soup made a comment about him wearing socks with sandals and like-to confirm, Leo has the fashion sense of a dead shrimp and would totally wear socks with sandals. Both because he's just that bad at being gay and also to annoy Donnie. But in this particular instance Hueso wanted to make sure he was wearing good walking shoes so his feet wouldn't be sore at the end of the day. (and he's not going barefoot because wtf they're probably immune to HIV but don't go tempting fate here)

I actually very much prefer sandals. I went to college way up north and I would take my trash out in flipflops when it was like -30 out. (I was also very stupid, so don't do this)(not that you can, it doesn't get that cold anymore)

Anita's a Yokai, so no her granddaughter is not Kendra. The Purple Dragons will have another cameo (maybe get a mention in the recovery arc, we'll see) but since everything else has ballooned we just haven't gotten to them.

Which is honestly really funny to me, because Kendra clearly considers herself very important and probably makes the 'Othello Von Ryan's ARCH ENEMY' thing a point of pride. Meanwhile Donnie straight-up doesn't remember her and his brothers are like

A lot of what Leo does is disassociate and compartmentalize, so he's very, very good at going "I know this is objectively horrific, but it also looks kind of sick. I kinda want to poke it with a stick."

Which is a very real and valid trauma response! Not everyone responds to shit the same way. For some people, turning off the 'holy shit' part of their brain or making light of it, that's literally their way of trying to process the thing. And it has its uses. It probably served Leo very well during the Krang war, when things went to shit and he was able to stay rational while everyone around him was panicking.

The problem being, of course, that Leo never unpacks that compartment and just lets it fester. So it just gets worse and worse until something finally rips it all free.

I think this was the first real Cass-Gale fight? Besides little arguments and teasings. I mean, they're siblings, and they're under a ton of stress right now. They're both ready to crack.

I considered having Cass storm off and ending it there, but I didn't really like that. Gale knows that he isn't really mad at Cass, and Cass knows that Gale was lashing out. They're both socially stupid but they know each other. At the end of the day, they'll always have each other's back.

[antitheticaally]

Answer the questions and tag five fanfiction authors you know!

tagged by the wonderful wonderful @asteria-argo

Wow hi everybody I know I vanished off the face of tumblr for a good 6 months, and I'm hesitant to say I'm "back" but... hi!

1. How many fandoms have you written in?

Well, I've written in a lot of fandoms over the years (almost everything I've ever hyperfixated on I've written fic for), but I've only ever published in one. As you all know, it is my one and only Ted Lasso fic. I've written a lot for Buffy the Vampire Slayer - that's probably the other big one, and then I definitely wrote some Percy Jackson fics in my youth, as well as *sigh* so much Harry Potter at the age of like, 10. But those are all (thankfully) buried in the recesses of my google drive and will never see the light of day.

2. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I think I probably wrote my first "fic" around the age of 6 or 7, and I'm 21 now, so... 15-16 years? Wow.

3. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I definitely read wayyyy more than I write. When I'm really into something I can go through like, 3 fics a day, but it's a lot harder for me to write consistently.

4. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

My grammar and just like, use of language and developing my own style has improved immensely just from writing for soooo long. I think I've definitely found my own voice whereas, when I was younger, I used to kind of take on the tones of other writers I liked. I've also gotten a lot more confident in sharing my writing, especially since I joined tumblr and published something in the last year. That doesn't exactly have to do with the quality of the writing itself, but like, the relationship I have with what I write.

5. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Oh boy, well, I did a lot of football research when I was writing for Ted Lasso, because I am not a sports girly. But back in middle/high school when I was super into Buffy I ended up doing a weird amount of research on 17th century England for some AU thingy I was working on. I think I still have the notes on that haha

6. What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

I love all comments, because I crave validation way too much. But long ones especially. Like, when people go through and pick out all their favorite bits and lines and take the time to tell me how much they like them... it's very Special To Me. <3

7. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Hmm.... I feel like I'm lowkey kind of basic in terms of what tropes I write... But I guess I write a lot of stuff that focuses mainly on like, friendship and platonic love and intimacy and usually not a lot of romance, which, like, I've found a niche of people who love that shit for sure, but I guess maybe it's not asssss common? Idk

8. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Oh god I can't write happy. I literally have never successfully written a story where nothing goes wrong. How?

9. What is the easiest type?

Angst. But like, angst with with comfort. Is it projection? Is it being a psychology student? We'll never know.

10. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I'm a google docs girly through and through. I do have a notebook that I jot down drafts in a lot of the time, but if I'm typing its on google docs. As for where and when... basically anywhere private. So, anywhere within my room. I can't write if there's even a smidgen of a chance that someone could walk by and peek at my computer screen. If I'm super into writing something I'll work on it all day, but unfortunately for my sleep schedule, most of my ideas come to me at 12 am when I'm trying to go to sleep.

11. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Honestly, at this point, I'll write almost anything as long as I think I can do it in a tasteful and respectful way. But there was a while where I was terrified of writing anything sexual or "smutty", I've kind of gotten past that as I've embraced my sexuality a lot more, and I have written sexual content. None of it is published, because a lot of it is from original short stories or older fics, and because I usually write platonic relationships, but I've done it!

12. What made you choose your username?

Aahaha... this is actually the second iteration of my tumblr username. A lot of you previously knew me as @antitheticallyargumentative, which came from a Taylor Swift song. I am a huge Swiftie, which I haven't realllly talked about on here, but I love her music and lyricism a lot. So the username came from a line in a song that was "argumentative, antithetical dream girl", and I just thought it was kind of fun so I messed around with it a bit and eventually came up with "antitheticallyargumentative." Then I revamped my account and shortened it a bit. So yeah.

I do not know whose already been tagged or whose already done it so.... whoever sees this... go ham.

Love ya!

[neurasthnia]

korean comprehensible input update 1/30

this update has been months in the making!!!!! i am so excited to be here!!!!!!!!!!!

after pausing on grammar study, i never went back. planning to do a purist 100% immersion, 0% translation or english explanation, forever and ever.

i have officially consumed one hundred hours of korean language comprehensible input! i'm following pablo roman's og immersion method, and fall well within the model:

You understand some common words, even if you are not 100% sure how to pronounce them. You can now guess the meaning of some 2-word sentences, like "go home", or "eat cake". There are only a few words that you could produce yourself. For many words, you’re still not sure what sounds they’re made of.

for the first hundred hours, i watched the easiest stuff i could find. mostly that meant someone pointing and saying this is a woman, this is a man, she eats this, he likes this &c. my resource list got to around 80 hours, so basically i rewatched my favorites and slowly went for harder content.

from my notes over the last few months: i did feel like i hit the above capability around 30 hours, where i was able to recognize some nouns, some verbs, some past tense. around 50 hours i felt like i covered everything in videos that i learned on lingodeer or with other traditional resources (see update zero).

this will be my hardest hundred hours, as with CI ease of comprehension exponentially increases with additional input. it often sucked really terribly - the content isn't complex enough to be interesting, and it was difficult to pay attention for any long stretch of time. i watched about 5-15 minutes at a time even on days where i logged a sum of hours.

general check-in notes:

immersion: still not watching any adult-level tv shows or movies at the moment! i did read a couple of translations: very delightful scifi novel, and a psychological thriller. both are very short!

plans for the future: mostly focused on getting to peppa pig ASAP! it's supposed to be high beginner low intermediate (re reddit threads) so we'll see 🐷🤞🤞

timeline notes: i kept condensing my etc of 3000 hours from 2031 (eight years) to 2026 (only thirty more months!!). expecting to require adjustment, but it's been very easy to hit my hours so far even with my increasing spanish goals.

next update eta is this spring!

[callsign-bunnie]

hello! the omega ghost ask so good but the little tidbit you added at the end about how his backstory would be so much worse for this perspective and if you wouldn’t mind, could you go into more detail about that? i love your writings and i appreciate them so much!

Alright, so I'm starting this off with a massive fucking trigger warning. If you are triggered by anything, I would think twice before reading this. Also this will be more essay style. If anyone wants to see my interpretation of Ghost's backstory in an alpha context, I can do that as well because I also have thoughts.

--

Okay, getting it out of the way, Ghost was raped a lot during his time in the cartel. Granted, he was raped by a woman, but if we follow that same context, he would be raped by an Alpha, right? This does not make it worse in and of itself, it was pretty bad.

But, he was also experimented on? Like a lot. And a couple things that exist in ABO are things like scent blockers, heat blockers, heat triggers, so on and so forth? I don't obviously have a scientific idea of what heat triggers are but from what I can guess is that they are a severe Aphrodisiac. Just following the train of events in the comics, it's safe to assume that in an Omega Ghost context, heat triggers would be used.

Obviously, I live in a non ABO world, so I don't personally know what that feels like but I am sure it's hell. So, I think that would make that particular part worse. Because being raped is one thing, being raped and your body being desperate for it would probably be much worse. I can only imagine the mind fuckery that would happen.

Also, societal views do play a huge part in torture. In ABO, at least in how I write it, society views omegas in a similar way to how our society views women, which is to say, they're looked down upon, maybe to a still worse degree because of heat cycles and pheromones? So, a big psychological aspect of this is gonna be used. Ghost is going to be literally raped and beat into submission and reprogrammed. Roba was making soldiers. And while I don't personally think this would continue if Ghost was an omega, just based on a few factors, I will continue in that context.

So, like I said, societal views do play a huge part in torture, even if subconsciously in the torturer. It's actually kind of interesting that Roba chose rape as a torture method, that's not really seen done to males, but it would be ramped up in an ABO context, since the universe is kind of more sex reliant if that makes sense? And if society views omegas as submissive, a common phrase I see is "barefoot and pregnant", then I also think breeding would come into play here? Just based on societal views alone.

And that's just on the rape part. So in the comics, Ghost was pitted up against his fellow squad members. If we, again, translate from our society to ABO, that would make both of them (Washington and Sparks) have to be alphas. And obviously Ghost would be a plenty capable omega, he's an already traumatized, in the process of being reprogrammed omega. That's gonna be a bucket and a half of problems. Also, we gotta pull in another established aspect which is instinct?

It's well known that a lot of forms of torture pull out base human instinct. Omega instinct and Alpha Instinct are established features in most ABO, so we'll go ahead and pull them out in context here. If Ghost is already being tortured, his omega instinct is gonna be full force out. Hence why I said it's gone, now? He would have had to fight against it to survive. If we assume Washington and Sparks are alphas, then their alpha instinct is going to also be out. I don't think I have to be explicit in what this spells.

Also, I personally believe that Ghost would be sterilized. He was cut open a lot, and in ABO, being fertile is kind of important to being an omega, so I just think this is another aspect of reprogramming. (Did research, apparently, if we put clues together, he'd still get heats even with a total hysterectomy. Google has seen too much and I must burn it.) So, even if Ghost never wants kids, it's horrible to have that choice taken away from you. (This is something I have personal experience with.)

Lots of other aspects I don't think would be affected much by the ABO aspect. I don't think ABO is going to affect whether or not it's shitty to be abandoned and then put in a grave and forced to dig your way out.

However, there is something after Ghost gets out. He goes to rejoin the military, is stopped, and refinds Washington and Sparks. I am going to again go forward with assuming they are Alphas.

The brainwashing was successful on them, and they go to rape a woman. Ghost stops them, and they kill his entire family. If you want to take this in a different context, either Washington and Sparks would be raping an omega or Ghost. In the second, Ghost would be fighting back and his entire family would be killed for it.

At this point, Ghost in the comics starts to completely harden. Like, this is the breaking point. (Somehow???) So, I think this is when he'd completely lose any omega instinct, which would be a huge part of him. He'd also be potentially going after his potential rapists. This can be retraumatizing.

Finally, he goes back and kills the entire cartel that tortured him. An omega would be going back and systematically killing every single member of a cartel. Again, no doubt he's just as (more) capable than any alpha, but the context this is in just lends to this being that much more of an exhausting task.

So yeah.

There's probably things I missed that would also be worse in this context. One thing to remember is that the writers wanted this to be horrifically fucked up. They wanted it to the extreme, so in a world where the extremes are pushed, you can only take them even farther.

Also, I am at rock bottom, I wrote an essay about a character's backstory being worse in the context of OMEGAVERSE. I am tired.

[grandhotelabyss]

Do you think you'll ever write a full-blast 'difficult' work — something in total contradistinction to Major Arcana where you give (very generously and successgully) so much to the — something for the professors to chew on (not that they would even bother these days) — the kind of book that makes you struggle with it, even question if you can, though it rewards you if you do? Do you have a Sound and the Fury or a Ulysses in you, if not a Finnegans Wake?

(Subquestion: do you think you have an avant-garde idea that would necessitate being expressed in a book like that?)

Thanks, great question! I don't know. I wouldn't do a re-tread of psychological modernism, not for the length of a book anyway, though Major Arcana does have stream-of-consciousness passages here and there. (And a not-entirely-linear structure requiring some assembly by the reader.)

If I did something that formally radical in a novel—though I guess what I'm about to propose has also been done, by Delany, M. John Harrison, Anna Kavan, and others I'm sure—it might be more like a science fiction narrative that was violently anti-world-building, where the nature of the imagined society and technology was occluded for the reader rather than overtly explained or even subtly implied. The novel always comes to me as a melodrama, though, a pageant.

I am more tempted toward difficult poetry, or prose-poetry, on the Pound and Eliot model, a type of ideogrammatic composition that confronts the reader with a collage or montage of allusions (of an almost private but also far-reachingly public significance) they have both to decode and to arrange intelligibly. I am especially attracted to such a way of writing about politics. I've experimented on here and in some of the Substack footnotes with this kind of thing. For example, I imagine some readers found this to be a difficult passage:

An anon asked me: “If someone were to accuse you of being a psyop, what would they accuse you of?” I wrote: I would be accused—I sometimes even am accused—of running the opposite of the psyop I’m actually running. This is because, in true psyop fashion, I sometimes used to openly claim to be running the opposite psyop of the one I actually was/am running. I’ve even darkly hinted that it’s worse than you think, just to throw you off the track, but also to keep you coming back for more. (Deep lore: how would someone with crazy eyes, red yarn, pushpins, and a corkboard get from me to Michael Aquino in two steps? I revealed the answer once, only once, behind Katherine Dee’s paywall, on my first ever podcast appearance, during which Kat and I correctly predicted in 2021 that the dissident right would become the next iteration of neoconservatism, years before a straight line could be drawn from BAP through Anna K. to Bari Weiss.) I could say more, but then it wouldn’t be a psyop, would it?

Of course it would be helpful to be as erudite as a modernist poet, would be helpful to have read all The Cantos, would be helpful to have begun to study Chinese. But such a style in prose is what attracted people to the late Jameson as well, and to "theory" in general. This is a type of difficulty I think I could achieve and also think might be salutary for readers to encounter. And yet sometimes it seems like it would be too easy to write that way. Why not just take the extra step of explaining oneself?

I am not one of those writers who is at war with the language, who feels a need to deform language radically or to invent new languages. My "experiments" tend to take place "above" the language level, as it were, on the level of genre and narrative and archetype. To make an (imperfect) analogy to the order of scientific knowledge, Joyce was a physicist while I am a chemist or maybe a biologist. But never say never—we'll see!

[swallow17]

My uncle just died and it's pretty freaking inconvenient for me right now.

Well, he hasn't just died. Or maybe yes, I couldn't know. I mean, I could have asked my mum, but when I called her, like half an hour ago, she was having the biggest of meltdowns - understandable, of course - and I simply couldn't bring myself to ask for details. That and the fact that I could hear one of the neighbours in the background saying "we're waiting for the forensic team" made me think that maybe he's been dead for a while.

I'm still trying to figure out if I'm sorry about it or not. When I read about it in one of my family's WhatsApp groups, the only thing I could think was "Fuck, I was about to go to the swimming pool". I had plans for the day. Started off hitting the gym like the gymrat I'm trying to become in order to look gorgeous in my wedding, then shower and healthy breakfast, then Excel tables trying to figure out budgets, incomes and whatnot. And this afternoon I planned to go for a swim and then go to the capital to organize some things for the wedding.

And suddenly, he freaking died.

I called my mum, but she couldn't speak. My dad is kinda disastrous with these things, so I assumed I should call my brothers and organize us - I was right, they didn't know. One of them lives faraway, so I talked to him and my sister-in-law and they'll arrive tonight. We don't even know if there's going to be a funeral, and how and when the service will be held, but anyway my mum needs us. My sister-in-law talked about cooking for my mum and all of that and it kinda made me feel better, 'cause sometimes it's tiring to be the only girl in the family. My other brother is at work, but he finishes around 15:00 pm so I will pick him up and we'll go to the place where I was born, to support my mum.

To try to feel sorry about the dead of a man who once tried to strangle me.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like that all the time - not with me, at least. We probably will never know how he was, 'cause the whole story is full of secrets, lies, half-truths, interests, chaos. My grandma and him lived alone together since my grandpa died, and he was pretty possessive of her. I do not know to what extent he was physically abussive, but I can tell he was a psychological abuser. My grandma felt compelled to serve him, to do everything for him even when her health was decaying. When she needed to be put in a care facility - 'cause her living with my family was unacceptable for my uncle -, he tried to make her recover so she could go back to live with him, the two of them, alone together.

To nobody's surprise, forcing an old lady to act as if she was still a middle-aged woman took her to her grave. I called the shots that time, 'cause mum was having a panic attack, and I decided to bury her with her husband and mother, as she had been asking for months as she felt her time was coming.

And then my uncle arrived to the facility, reclaimed the body to incinerate her and take her with him back home, I refused and he tried to strangle me. Luckily for me, Dad was around.

So yeah, I cannot tell that I'm sorry that man died.

Nonetheless, he wasn't always like that. When my grandma was still strong and active, when she was more my godmother and less an old lady I had to take care of, he was a nice uncle. He gifted me my first kitty. He liked to talk about books with me; he bought a super big book about cetaceans 'cause that was my seven-year-old hiperfixation. He read the whole freaking thing with me; he knew a lot about orcas and belugas at the end of it. He also gave me the super-extended DVD version of The Return of the King, just because I loved The Lord of the Rings. He bought and read the two books I published when I was in my early twenties. He even tried to get me to sign them. But, by then, I was offended by the distance between him and my mother, the way he spoke about her, the way he treated my grandma. And I was polite but cold.

I guess that's something you can say about me. Polite but cold.

He was my mother's brother. He was a kinda deficient brother, especially comparing him to my own brothers, for example. He was a horrible brother-in-law to my dad. A bad son to my grandmother. He was a fickle uncle to us.

But I guess he was my uncle, after all.

I'm not hungry at all today. I guess there's still enough time for a dip in the pool.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary263

6/6-7/24

thursday - friday

i think the final check is now waiting for me...

anyways, today i've been reading monster, i got up to chapter 55 about, very excited to read more tomorrow, it's really really incredible and has made me tear up a couple times (richard, the alcoholic (recovering) detective, gosh) it always strikes me how urasawa has these perfect characters, how you jump around, how we spend so much time with richard as another protagonist basically, and how you never feel put out by that. that and the scope and that it doesn't feel like a cheaply pulpy adventure thing, which is fine but like, it has this scope of adventure but it's so tragic, whereas in things, even like berserk, you've got this fantasy setting to absorb some of the pain i feel like, whereas with urasawa and those who seem to follow him (thinking of asano) the places the narrative goes, if expressive and crazy, and with humor, it never feels like some kind of trope-y thing. it's always rather considered and exigent, whatever is going on. the fact that it's so willfully political as well, urasawa's work (thinking on 20th century boys and it being so focused on japan's changing nature, the kinds of religions which appeared, (much more i imagine but i need to go back to it i think to say much more) and here in monster the weight of ww2 leftover on germany, the cold war, all that atrocity and the still present forms of neo-fascism, i suppose again there's this tendency one can see in japanese art dealing with politics where one sees the villain is really just someone who wants to make things 'better' or something but urasawa's good at subverting that i think, the depth doesn't negate that entirely but it is more the case that, beyond just being flawed, the sense of tragedy around everything makes the motives actually complex, rather than being like, 'well he thinks he is right so is he truly a villain?' and also i need to learn more of why johan started a 'revolution' in kinderheim 511 and stuff. insane stuff happens in the story though. i do like that it paints the struggle to be good as constant and painful, that tenma struggles to descend to the level of murderer, the notion i guess in the morality of the work that one cannot take that back, every death is rather weighty. and again, i keep returning to the fact it deals with xenophobia in a rather like, pointed way, in a way that's not really interested in even pointing at two sides, rather like, pointing at a fact of history and its sustained effects. there are minor things i see and find interesting as like, i guess counter-points to the work, as in the reliance on criminal psychology for characters or characters who are criminal psychs and how that is, thus far, unexplored as anything other than a 'true science', it's interesting how that goes, though.

sudden pangs of missing dededede washing over me, as well. strange.

anyway here's a cute pic i found of a woman standing in front of a yakitori stand on the lolita gallery archive thingie:

i love that.... those festive banners hung over stalls in japan are really pretty to me, they're so perfectly garish, over-bright, oddly contradictory, there's violence in them kinda, to me. i want to absorb that in how the cover looks on some level, i tried it on the single art for north american razor apples:

anyway i am getting pretty close to getting this record done now i think, so i really need to get started on the cover art. soon the usb hub i ordered will get here and getting back into drawing will be easier cuz i can just leave that plugged in alwayss.

i did one song today, there's like one for sure left, and 2 maybes and there will probably be more, i think, as soon as this next listening of the album occurs, but we'll see. it could be less intense than i think and it could all be like...good. idk. it might sound weird but maybe that's just the sound i'm at. i'd like to figure out something for the next record, a sound, i think that's gonna be centered on how i process the drums. i also figure, i think i want it to sound more 'dangerous' and fucked up, i think, even if i write a rather poppy thing or part, i want to be using sends that have glitchy things going on, weird squealing going on no matter what, so maybe i'll try and use some of those jack dark plugins as weirdo delay things, see what that can do, mix them with the next reverb/room setup i come up with, less saturation on the master and more weird, not spatial stuff, but like, textural noisy stuff. idk. we'll see, that might be hard to figure out / get right.

anyway, we're gonna go out tomorrow so i need to sleep so:

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[allforafro]

in today's live report more emoticons, because somehow I could not find the right words

There are also a few sentences taken out of context, the meaning of which I no longer remember

but I hope you like it anyway

3.10

Eclipse? I wonder if that will make sense

I think you have a lot in common

You make a great partnership lol

Good question. why is it always her? give her a rest

Lock her in a cell

aww 🥰 it's nice to watch peter and nathan's interactions, the tenderness, care and love between them is good

Yes! the Petrelli brothers duo steps into action

this is terrible

why does he need these organs? probably science

his hand yuck

Mohinder, you really thought that Arthur was interested in helping you, to me it looks like he only wants to use you

whatever

I understand that daphne has concerns about what arthur might do but i think she should tell matt the truth

they came to them 😆

we will all die. don't dramatize it, probably only some people will die

I get it, sometimes Noah's need for control and protection is terrible

I wonder if they will be waiting for them in this house?

how is he going to read his mind if he doesn't know Japanese

🥲

I try to be responsible. I guess so, but telling dad everything every five minutes sounds like a lack of trust on dad's part

Xd elle

NO!!! bad sylar, killing is bad

sylar is traumatized after being almost killed by a group of heroes

monster 😳

yuck! spider web or other stuff

It's good that they talked about it

I don't know why but I feel like Arthur underestimates Nathan and treats him like a pushover or something

I wanted to ask who's side Tracy is on, but it's probably obvious that it's hers

hostile eclipse begins

what?! what he is doing?

it's disgusting but at least Mohinder looks sexy again

It took Arthur and Mohinder a long time to figure out what the eclipse was about, but it only took Peter a moment, clever

it's better to go as the map shows

this scene is funny when matt tries to use his ability

brothers' quarrel

the Haitians got tired of waiting for them so he found them himself

there is no power 😏

you should have practiced more

claire no

exactly matt even without powers you can be her hero

listen to Peter and help him

I hope they don't do anything to Nathan

why no one wants to listen to Sandra, this woman makes the most sense in this family

she has trouble walking

you have always been, idiot, the powers did not make you more, grow up at last

will he kill them? We'll find out in the next episode

3.11

you think well peter

it's not power that makes you a hero peter

and they just had sex in an abandoned house, it's kinda weird

he shot her

traces of blood

noah the hunter

well said

I guess I should take it more seriously

why is he looking through this book backwards?

Did he think it would change his point of view?

with big people who had power it usually turned out that their paranoia was justified

dang don't let yourself get burned, mo

let yourself be helped daphne

I'm not surprised, I think so too

I'm not surprised, I would also be skeptical

that's right, noah is better than you now

but has he really changed for good?

😭😭 don't break down claire, no!!!!

hunter vs. hunted, just who's who

are you trying to deal with him with psychology?

hopeless, his daughter dies and he wastes time on revenge, I understand he is angry but he should be by her side now

is he dead?

she died no 😭

the eclipse ended and they regained their powers

listen to him daphne matt is right

what will happen to peter?

yes, nathan came to his aid

I doubt you can cope against the Haitian's ability

and everything went back to what it was before 🥲

he doesn't believe it but he's a comic book salesman, what wouldn't you do for money?

jokes aside, good motivational speech

the best day of your life

ok, I had to calm down for a moment, I laughed at this exchange between Noah and Sylar in the Bennet house

it happened, the truth had to come out, the truth usually has that, you can't escape from it

bad man, save the cheerleader, hiro is brilliant

he gave the sketches to the courier, things get interesting

I understand where Nathan's idea comes from, it's actually not that bad, but how can you be sure that you will give the powers to the right person - a good one?

I doubt arthur wants to help people for good intentions

that's right mohinder, no medicine will help you fight your dark side

why don't you tell him the truth

you don't trust him?

wtf! where did you get this nonsense gabriel, people can change but it requires constant work on yourself

why did you kill her? 😭 bad sylar bad, -50 points to liking character

ok, what's next?

3.12

hiro is funny

if you don't know what's going on, it's better to stick together, otherwise without hiro you won't be able to get back to the present

wait, if I understand their conversation correctly, doesn't hiro's mother mean that she is the catalyst, wow

so they gave the catalyst to claire, right?

healer

scene when they talked together in the same time was funny

I wonder if he recognized him

good that at least the phone works

he set her on fire, at least he gave her some burial

From what we have seen so far, it seems that Arthur is willing to sacrifice everything to achieve his goal

yeah, he has a vision that you are president (flashbacks to five years gone) this is definitely your place. I don't know why but I feel bad for Nathan

random, well that's usually the way it goes in genetics

of course it has to be a super soldier project, sigh - a classic

how adorable

Claire has a good hand with kids (whispers, is that how they say it in english?)

scenes with little Claire were adorable and had me smiling the whole time

cake? seriously, you couldn't come up with anything better

war is a terrible thing

less wind, good

it was obvious that he would want to escape

don't show touching scenes because I can't cry when I'm sick

he trusted her, oh noah, even if you don't know that you are talking to your daughter, you somehow feel your connection

no, she will help him and die 🥲

at least she died knowing that hiro had reconciled with his father 😭

I've only known hiro's mom for one episode but I already love her

There's nothing wrong with wanting to save your father, peter

random thought - what if arthur isn't the dangerous threat

ok, the elevator scene 👌

where did he come from?

we have a problem

At least he's alive, although in his current state I don't know if that's that much consolation

I can not look at this

I'd also be afraid to take medicine from a mutant guy

oh shit

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like they were a bit lame in getting rid of such a powerful character as Arthur. but on the other hand, how else would they do it? well at least peter didn't kill him

strong

3.13

Petrelli brothers another clash

good thing peter hit him, this plan has many flaws, how can nathan not see it

atmosphere like in a horror

he will keep them locked up until only one of them remains

your motley crew has little chance of defeating him

this text was great claire

in a sense, yes, but not necessarily, not definitely, you are different

but he's not there

yes, hiro pigeon will help you

interesting twist

I like that Matt has grown into the responsible one in the group

I hope wishful thinking works

little hiro and big hiro are a nice duo

no, this part is the worst only for you

Sylar is such a baby 🙄

these psychological games are interesting

Doyle - shudders

oh that noah

ok, officially matt, daphne, ando are the best team of the season

red lightning?

Oh my gosh, he can kill from a distance

How will they survive this?! someone help them

the word you are looking for is jealousy. admit to yourself that you envy him

what power does he have?

well, if she runs fast enough, she will be able to go back in time, like flash - if they read comics, they would know that

so ando can supercharge others' powers

lol I thought it was him who grabbed her hand, damn this episode is great

I know I'm stating the obvious here, but Sylar, you know nothing about love

what did you expect

uff, good thing they made it before Hiro's father cut him

he apologized to her before he hit her

why do they have to fight

peter used the formula on himself to save nathan 🥹

Angela tries to manipulate the situation until the end to get out of the situation alive

Damn she knows what to say

no

nathan villain arc

I can't wait for the next part