#i guess this is more just general thoughts on biblical fanfiction

[once-and-future-alaskan]

A Thought on Remixing A Particular Piece of Otherwise Traditionally Uninteresting, Conventional Abrahamic Mythology in An Interesting Way.

Or: That title is way too long and poorly phrased.

While listening to Ben Caplans Plough the Shit, i realized there’s a common trend in media that bases itself on biblical stories or wildly misunderstanding christian cosmology. In these stories, the story of Adam and Eden is typically a throwaway piece of information that’s taken at face value and largely just there to introduce Lilith because apparently everyone decided she’s real I guess.

Which is weird since if you look at the bible, the story of the Garden and Adam are really not super straight forward and there’s a lot of opportunity for open interpretation of the vague and broad language. From a writers perspective, the story of the first man leaves a lot of room to question how much, if any of it,is true after so long. Also i swear to both G-d and the One Eyed Wanderer that if i see one more story with Lilith I’ll- look. She’s biblical fanfiction that combines two completely unrelated parts of the text from two seperate books and the actual reason for the double creation part of Genesis is much more interesting than some demon mother.

So anyway the actual reason I bring this up is my proposals for making Adam an interesting character, or threat, in biblically inspired fiction. I took inspiration from a loose interpretation of this specific lyric from Plough the Shit. As well as the fact that I actually quite like things like the Cainite origin of vampires in media like World of Darkness.

At last, the Supreme Maker decreed that this creature, to whom he could give nothing wholly his own, should have a share in the particular endowment of every other creature. Taking man, therefore, this creature of indeterminate image, he set him in the middle of the world and thus spoke to him: "We have given you, O Adam, no visage proper to yourself, no endowment properly your own, in order that whatever place, whatever form, whatever gifts you may, with premeditation, select, these same may you have and possess through your own judgement and decision. We have made you a creature neither of heaven nor of Earth! Neither mortal nor immortal! In order that you may, as the free and proud shaper of your own being, fashion yourself in the form you may prefer. It will be in your power to descend to the lower, brutish forms of life. You will be able, through your own judgement and decision, to rise again to the superior orders whose life is divine!"

Ok so my proposal is thusly: G-d, a being beyond human comprehension and physical form creates Adam, a physical living thing, in their image. Adam as a result is quite frankly eldritch in nature, lacking anything in the way of true gender or sexual characteristics and exists in an ever shifting, unknowable body. In this blank template state he goes on to father humanity Asexually, there is no Eve and the idea of Eve is just a failed attempt at understanding it’s origins.

From there a story could do a lot with an eldritch Adam, a silent observer of humanity. A shadow in history. The Man Who Sold The World. etc.

Alternatively you could take a much more Dark Souls approach with a concept like this, a furtive pygmy. Maybe except it becomes a horrible nightmare boss or something idk i’m not your mom. 

[anti-anti-stevinel]

What the fuck is the deal with "ankle-beez"? They seem to be the biggest Steven Universe blog around. Every other SU blog I know (even the world's only proshipper Connverse normie, picturejasper20) reblogs from them.

They're also the world's biggest hypocrite.

They make analysis posts about the real message of SU, about love and forgiveness, against revenge and that sort of stuff.

At the same time, they are a hardcore anti-shipper bully.

They sent me gore and death threats last year when I was 17, for shipping Stevinel. Said "yer a pedo kill yerself!!11" (okay, that's paraphrased).

What's wrong with Stevinel?

Is it that Steven is "a minuh and not ready for sexual relationships"? Then, why is Connie, a human fourteen-year-old in-universe, ready for sexual relationships when it's with Steven? Why is Steven ready for it with Connie?

This leads me to believe it's the stated "aGe GaP!!11". In that case, Greg/Rose, which ankle-beez likes, is child rape (he wuz twenty an she wuz twentythousand!) That's fucking stupid. Kataang and Bubbline are "child rape" too, by those standards. Stating an exaggerated number next to a supernatural, non-aging, cartoon character does not child rape make. Is Katara a "necrophile" for having kids with Aang, a so-called "hundred-and-forty-something-year-old" character? Because 140-year-old men are all known to be dead? Is everyone who's read the Bible a Child Rapist™️, because the eternal, ageless God impregnated the thirteen-year-old Virgin Mary, as part of the biblical canon leading to the birth of Our Saviour Jesus Christ?

Also, by the same fucking stupid standards they use to call Spinel an "aDulT", Steven is one too. Gems don't fucking age. They're robots. If I have a 200-year-old baby doll, it's still a baby doll. Dolls don't age. Since Steven's gemstone (and with it, Pink's/his memories) has been around for 20000 years, he is "an adult", an "elderly man".

That brings me to the next point: one cannot "ship pedophilia". I wish I could "ship" mental disorders. I wish my autism, ADHD, OCD, Tourette's, depression and paranoia were as simple as fictional "ships".

More or less, "pedo" hysteria is NOT about protecting chilluns. When a child is murdered, nobody bats an eye. When child-on-child sexual abuse occurs, the same applies. Also, when an adult is raped. It's not about healing sexually abused children, or preventing rape. When adult-on-child sexual abuse occurs, the emphasis in media is never about helping the kid. It's always about torturing and murdering the "pedo" (sexual abuser). Basically, because nobody cares when there's no "pedo" to punish, it's not about protecting children, it's about hating people with mental disorders. Apparently, because I turned 18 two days ago, I lose my human right not to be raped.

What "paedophilia" actually is, is a mental disorder characterised by a greater level of arousal towards prepubescent individuals to pubescent ones. You cannot support or oppose it - you cannot be convicted for it or commit it - it's a disorder. Something you're pretty much born with and can't change. Conflating it with rape is like conflating "schizophrenia" with serial murder. While schizophrenic individuals have a higher murder risk compared to the general population, nobody ever says "commit schizophrenia" when talking about murder.

Fandom discourse is not a PhD. You cannot diagnose me with a disorder from the DSM-5 for writing the wrong fanfiction. You cannot convict me of a crime for it, either.

The most common anti argument that fanfic/hentai/whatever "encourages pedophilia". You cannot encourage a disorder. I will not magically sprout mental illness from reading fanfic. If you mean it ""encourages child rape"", if I were to rape someone, I could not blame reading a fanfic. Rape is caused by far deeper issues than having read a stupid fanfic.

Rick/Morty is canon in the multiverse, and Morty is a fictional teenager (who wishes incest porn had more mainstream appeal) with Rick, his equally fictional grandfather. So, who is raped by this? Nobody. Again, if you rape someone, you can't say Rick x Morty incest fanfic made you do it.

ALL ships are fine. Even stupid shit like Rick/Morty. Stevinel, though, isn't even of that kind. It's literally no worse than Bubbline, Kataang and Gregrose, all of which are canon to their shows.

So, what is it? "She """tried""" to kill him"? Strange. When Steven lets his shield down, Spinel could just blow him to fucking bits with that city-sized, injector-smashing fist of hers. She doesn't. SU's definition of "try" means "stop yourself". "Try" suggests someone else has to stop you with force, and that didn't happen, in which case, Steven "tried" to kill Greg in Mr. Universe, White (and with her, every Gem) in Homeworld Bound, and Connie in Buddle Buddies and every episode where he gets Connie into fights, and, and EVERYONE in Laser Light Cannon, Little Graduation and I am My Monster. He also "actually murdered" Jasper in Fragments by the standards (mind you, shattering isn't lethal and the Diamonds did nothing wrong).

Anti-shippers have implanted this stupid idea that non-aging things age as humans into my head. The idea is there to virtue-signal against MUH EBIL PEEDOUGHS. Now, I have paranoid thoughts about being a child rapist when I cuddle naked with a pillow that's been manufactured one year ago. Pillows don't age. But, in antis' heads, they do.

Why am I supposed to think of Spinel as an elderly woman? The character who is shorter, less mature and higher-pitched than Steven, sobs like a baby, plays peekaboo and gets adopted at the end of the movie?

It just disturbs me, honestly, how anklebeez can understand the show's message against violence and for healing, while literally murdering real children (and adults) for the rights of fictional ones, by bullying into suicide.

Why are they so popular? Anyway, I accidentally got carried away and wrote a masterpost when I meant for a quick ask. Hope you appreciate it.

Also, what determines whether a cartoon character is okay to "sexualise" or not?

Stated number? Then I can draw a stickman with a dick, then write the number 15 next to him, then you're a Child Rapist™️ for having looked at the image?

Height? Then is why is R34 of Madeline from Celeste, Sans and Amethyst, okay, when it's not okay for Steven and Hat Kid?

The word "kid"? Then, kill any teenager with a crush on a cartoon of Kid Cudi, I guess?

Don't harass ankle-beez. It's not worth it. Revenge is pointless. Never, though, have I been so confused by someone's self-contradictions.

Seriously.

Wow, this is huge, I didn’t know they allowed asks to get this long now, lol.

Um, but no comment on all of this since it’s just a rant, lol. But I don’t disagree.

[lazypsychictheorist-blog]

The values I associate with Hellenism

Just wanted to share the values I associate with my faith. They are not shared by all believer, I extrapolated some of them from other things. However, they seem right to fit my lifestyle, so if you’re a beginner feel free to adapt them to your needs!

Arete

This one is mostly shared among the community, with slightly various interpretations of its meaning. Dictionary.com defines it as “the aggregate of qualities, as valor and virtue, making up good character.” Which does not mean much as it, to be honest.

I see it as the idea of doing your best. Not someone else’s best, not society’s idea of best, just your own personal best. If you think you’re talented somewhere like writing (even fanfictions or silly puns), or cooking, or even things like fighting, surviving etc.  you should push it to the maximum best you can do. 

Miasma

In Ancient times, people thought diseases were (almost) always airborne, thus they logically separated the good air from the bad air, the miasma. It means pestilence, and as you can guess from it being one of the four horsemen of the biblical apocalypse, it was a very big deal back then. The concept of miasma in Hellenism can be more generally understood as not mixing the mundane air (cooking, having sex outside a ritual, pets, agitation, street air, etc.) and the sacred air of the temple. Rituals and celebrations used loads of incense and perfumes to establish that separation even outside the temple.

Nowadays, most pagans are forced to hide their religion from their family, colleagues etc. We have to have very small or virtual altars, so the separation cannot always be physically and clearly made. Plus we know that most diseases are not airborne, our kitchens are among the cleanest parts of the house.

My understanding of it is that we should still make that separation between our practice and our life. We cannot always be praying or doing offerings for various reasons, so it’s better in my eyes to have few but honest and deep prayers/rituals than a lot of meaningless ones. The separation also applies to proselytism. You may think your religion is the true one, you would not appreciate if someone tried to convince you otherwise, so don’t do that yourself. 

Reciprocity

That’s one of those values that people often misinterpret as “be kind and gentle and nice and sweet and the others will return it to you”. As if. You can be kind, sweet and generous yet not be stupid. I’m very skeptical on this one because it’s so easy to turn it into something abusive.

Don’t do onto others what you wouldn’t want done to you... except if they deserve it. Anger is sometimes necessary. Also if you do me anything bad, I can and will do you the same thing. 

Hospitality

Another one that can easily be turned into something abusive. 

Let’s not forget that we have historical accounts of stories basically going like “if you mess with me under my roof, I have all rights to rekt you.” More or less. 

Since we’re 2500 years or so later, I think we can interpret that hospitality only applies to the people whom you invited in the first place, and who behave well under your roof. See the bit earlier about reciprocity.

Moderation

In Ancient Greece, social order was much tighter than it is today (in the Western world, anyway). Slaves, women, children, plebeians, patricians, artisans, everyone had a very specific role to fulfill. Athens may have been a democracy, nowadays we would consider it an authoritarian state (see Socrates’ death). 

In this context, moderation did not mean watching out your diet or exercising regularly. It meant sticking to your predefined role to the end of your days. Again, this is no longer acceptable. We won’t have the same job all our lives, some of us will not marry, not have children, some of us will be the children of construction workers and end up accountants. It is most probable that we will not live in the same place forever. 

I’d suggest sticking to the modern definition of the word. If you can spare some time to exercise or read or play videogames, or anything that you like that isn’t work or family, do it. Find the kind of balance that works for you, reduce your excesses. Don’t be thin/fat because people want you to, but judge which quantity of food you really need/want. Ask yourself why you do some things in excess, or too poorly. How long was it since you last called?

Kharis and Eusebia

Kharis means grace, and eusebia means piety. I kept them last because, in my opinion, they need to be proportional to everything I’ve just said. 

Kharis evokes the idea of a sacred bond between you, the gods, but also between you and other people, you and the groups you belong in, you and society, you and mankind. It is another very vague term which meaning doesn’t make much sense nowadays. It could mean globalisation as well as social networks. I’d suggest interpreting it as taking care of the bonds your already have, whether it means randomly telling people you love them or cutting off toxic relationships. It also means randomly offering the gods kind thoughts about them, or telling them when they do something that disturbs you. 

Eusebia as in piety can be regarded as a choice, in my opinion. Ask yourself why Hellenism, why not something else? What form does your practice and your faith take in your daily life? Take your time, find your answers. There is no “good” or “right” answer. Nobody is forcing you to veil your hair or wear symbols or even like all the gods. This is your choice. 

[onslaughtsix]

So here’s the bit, right?

When I started writing music (literally a decade ago) the idea was to form a band with my long-distance best friend onslaught86 (the names are only sort of a coincidence; our real life first names being the same is definitely one). The idea was that he would learn to sing and do most of the lyrics and I would learn to play guitar and do backups. So I learned how to play guitar and he...didn’t do shit.

Alright, that’s a lie and makes it seem like I’m bitter about it. He did write, a lot. Because that’s what we used to do, is write together! Initially we just wrote Transformers fanfiction. That’s where we got the idea; the world’s first Internet band (recording all our shit online and passing them through the etherwebs) which focused almost entirely on Transformers songs. 

Because that would sell. (This was in like, 2005? 2006? We did not yet have the live action Transformers films.) 

Let’s fast forward a little. I’m getting there. I’m playing guitar (although not well) and with the help of Fruity Loops, I am composing music for the first time. I have equipment available to me from my father and can do vocals (as bad as my singing is). 86 doesn’t do this but sometimes he sends me lyrics because I can’t write for shit. My earliest songs show this, although literally some of those lyrics survived onto the album i released in 2014 (which I still, sadly, consider the true pinnacle of the Onslaught Six musical project). 

Faced with the coming realization and dilemma that 86 may never learn to sing and record vocals, I now realize I may be the lead singer of my own one-man band. I am not great at articulating what feelings I may have, if any, that are not raw anger and hatred. 86′s lyrics, when they aren’t obtuse bullshit that sounds great (a skill I slowly picked up over the next few years), are deeply personal and obtusely fucked up shit that I cannot possibly sing--because I don’t feel it.

I tried at different points to write what I called “sensitive” material. “Emotional” material may be a better descriptor. Whatever. I can’t sing about my feelings. Writing about them makes me self conscious. I can’t get past that barrier, can’t do the Trent Reznor “open my journal and make it into lyrics.” Covering a few early NIN songs only proved that I was ill suited to singing about that. I learned over time it was usually better to spit out fast shit about robots killing each other, or people killing each other, or people killing robots, or whatever. I reached some pretty good shit with that and any times I did venture out, I was careful to keep it in an angry wheelhouse.

In 2009 I got with Randi, who was futilely attempting to write bad Amanda Palmer piano punk songs that she recorded with a webcam microphone and put on Myspace. If that sounds fucking embarassing, it is. (I still think there was a good song or two in there, and maybe one day I’ll dig through the hard drives to find one and embarass her.) Shortly after we started dating she even wrote a song about her experiences sleeping at my house, and wasn’t afraid to record it and show it to me.

This was my emotional ticket out.

We tried in 2010 to do a cover song to demo out what we thought a potential band of ours would sound like. I played bass (I could not play bass) and she played piano and sang, and we tried futilely to cover Sisters of Mercy’s Floorshow. This went horribly, and we didn’t really try anything for years afterwards. Of note, Sisters of Mercy became a major influence on our band.

In January of 2013, Reapers is born, thrashing and screaming on a dying laptop with the help of an out of tune Korg Poly 800 and way too much Mass Effect 2. We made something without thinking about genre definitions, boundaries, playing it live, or anything of the sort. After it was finished, we basically decided “Is this synthwave? I guess this is synthwave.” We named the band after the song (and because the Bandcamp username was available). We spent some time writing more songs and eventually released an EP and album, Turbine.

Turbine is not really a coherent release--it’s some old songs from the EP and some new shit to make a good sounding record but it has no central concepts, beyond some general theming. I wanted to alleviate that with our next album that took 2 years to come out, Visions of Mercury. 

In VoM (the worst acronym ever) I started writing by myself, at night, driving home from my job at 6:30am. I was apart from Randi for the nights (I still am but she drives me now--long story) and was starting to feel the distance. And for the first time, I wrote about it.

Because I wouldn’t be singing about it?

Randi had no problem being emotional about herself. Our arguably most successful song is about how sad she was when Tony Soprano killed Big Pussy on The Sopranos. There are at least 3 songs on the last album about her drug-addled father’s possible suicide that she feels partly responsible for. She is my emotional ticket out for writing. If it’s for Reapers, I can write it, because I have some coherent metaphors that I can lean on and make it sort of about something else that isn’t directly me, and I don’t have to perform it and feel self conscious about it. Like, what the fuck are my feelings so important for that I have to write about them? But if she’s singing it then I’m just furthering the band. It’s fine!

Visions of Mercury’s central metaphor is that the space in, uh, outer space is a metaphor for the space between people--emotionally and physically. The title track started when I sang it into my phone while driving home. (It was more like a Cure song then. I was listening to Disintegration a lot, okay?) I was alone and spending nights away and all I really wanted to do was quit and stay at home, but that isn’t viable in this economy so fuck it, you do what you gotta do. And that lead into the Mass Effect connections and metaphors--in every ME game, the last mission (usually called “the point of no return” by players, since it is the last point in the game you can do sidequests/upgrades/etc. before the climactic moments) you get to have sex with your chosen waifu or husbando that you’ve been romancing the entire game (or multiple games!) because, presumably, they could all die in the final mission so they want to get their shit over with. (In ME2 you can actually get over half your crew members killed permanently in the final mission because you made a mistake.) 

So I’ve been leaning into that now. The new album is even more apocalyptic and finite than the last--so far our top choice for a title is REVELATIONS, after one of the tracks, about the biblical end of the world. One of the songs we just completed has the lines, “I’ve seen far too goddamn many people die/I’ve come far too far to give up this fight,” which pretty much sums up Shep in ME. We’re leaning into that, and leaning into the emotional stuff too--another song is a huge synthy guitar skullfucker that has Randi screaming “Just let me stay in here” as if her life depends on it. 

I’m not sure what the point of writing this was, but I guess my thing is, I think it’s fucking weird that I can’t write emotionally about myself unless I’m going to have someone else sing about it. Is that weird? Or is this a problem only I have because of the extremely specific circumstances?