#i guess technically that is true bc the past (the tasks) live on in me (the symptoms) or something idk i'm so tired out here.

[b-blushes]

experiencing what they might call "did some unavoidable activities that were way above regular activity level as an individual with disabilities that Don't Like It When You Do This" and it's not my favourite sensation/dimension to exist in. like i'm fine but also. i feel haunted :P

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

i have to ask because im lost asf i just started playing ikem vamp and its been like two months and a half? i guess and i want to know whos faust, vlad and charles please enlighten me bc i see people talking about them and i feel so left out since looking through all the characters i dont see them or those names on display?

No worries at all, friend! I hope this reply is informative without being too confusing 💕💕💕

Your bewilderment is perfectly understandable, given the three characters you mentioned: Vlad, Faust, and Charles, were all released exactly one year ago for the second anniversary of the Japanese game's release! (The Japanese Version of Ikevamp is about 2 entire years worth of content ahead of the English version. For example, in the Japanese app it is currently the third anniversary of the game's release--not the first.) As such, those three characters are temporarily exclusive to the Japanese version--they won’t be appearing in the English version for another year, at least!

More details about who they are beneath the cut (I’ll be doing my best to minimize spoilers, but talking about them usually necessitates some level of spoiling future content): 

That being said, that doesn't clarify who they are, yeah? Let me get into that! In several routes there are allusions to an unnamed antagonist; somebody who is turning people from the past and causing the residents of the mansion a great deal of distress as a result. For instance, in Mozart's route, we run into the famous Antonio Salieri; Mozart's historical rival in composing music (and esteemed colleague). There is no explanation in regards to his origins (and we know Comte didn't turn him), and he leaves peacefully with no larger conflict in the end of the main story.

This, however, is not the case in every route. Resurrected historical rivals/acquaintances range from seeking reconciliation to deranged with vengeance. When the more violent/desperate characters come into play (as with Isaac or Jeanne’s route), questions arise as to who is targeting the residents of the mansion (who other than Jeanne would recognize Gilles de Rais? and who turned him if it wasn’t Comte?) This unnamed pureblood who is turning human beings from the past is revealed right before the release of Shakespeare's main story--largely because he starts to play a more major villainous role in the routes that come after. His name is Vlad--or as he's more colloquially known;Vlad the Impaler, Vladislav II of Wallachia, the Romanian legend of vampire mythology.

We learn Vlad's larger motivations in Comte's route, and he essentially has two discrete goals that we can identify as of now:

1. Finding the secret of immortality in order to turn humans into pureblood vampires (lesser vampires are only partial immortals; they can survive for hundreds of years, but eventually die--purebloods cannot die no matter how many years pass). Reason why? Because pureblood loneliness go brrrr

2. Ruling humanity via unilateral despotism, more or less (he loves humanity in a...weird way....). He says to Comte that he wishes to turn/use the talented men of history in order to sway humanity into eternal nonviolence. Essentially, he wants an international state of surveillance that all leads back to him to create world peace. He develops this aspiration after seeing a devastated future in the time-traveling door (he made the one in the mansion with Comte, and he made another one when they parted ways in his castle disguised as a cathedral). He believes that control is the only true method that will save humanity from itself, and will preserve the beauty of the world he loves so much (once again, he’s;;;;;; really weird..........it’s like how White Men^TM believe Lord of the Flies is the Ultimate Truth in regards to how society “inevitably” functions when like...society has constructs which are technically malleable if the people making decisions give enough of a fuck? Anyway ignore me, I just can’t help it Vlad is such an incel clown sometimes jklghdd)

Now then, Faust and Charles are two lesser vampires from the past who were turned by Vlad. They seek to further Vlad's goals and are at least partially under his control (he is able to manipulate people's perceptions/thoughts/dreams via a kind of telepathy). They often act in Vlad's stead and spy on the residents of the mansion. Faust is a pastor/doctor who is doing research to accomplish the immortality Vlad is seeking for humanity. There are only allusions made to it, but he experiments often on the vampires Vlad has created (including Vlad, and probably Shakespeare too given his...affiliation) to achieve this end when he’s not fronting their cathedral. (If this sounds mafia-like to you, congratulations! You get a cookie!) He is presumably the German alchemist Johann Georg Faust noted in historical records, though given the game’s writing it is highly possible elements of his personality are somewhat intermixed with the literary figure “Faust.” 

Charles is based on the historical figure Charles-Henri Sanson, who was the royal executioner for Louis XVI and High Executioner for the First French Republic. (Essentially, he was tasked with killing enemies of the crown and the newly founded government before and after the transition period of the French Revolution. The man saw rivers of blood, one can only imagine...) He is our genki French guillotine baby who just wants everyone to get along really, really badly. Problem is Comte = k n i f e at Vlad and seeks to protect his children, so Vlad’s castle remains a dumpsterfire danger zone where three vampires + 1 insurgent live in absolute chaos. If Comte is the sweet, responsible father of the game Vlad is basically like...that single mother who has children she does not properly supervise/feed and the neighbors are always inches from calling Child Services.

Bonus: In case you were wondering what they looked like, you can see them integrated into the Japanese game’s intro screen with their respective character summaries. They are listed in the following order: Vlad, Faust, and Charles.

[tlblah]

Question: Is there an overall timeline the Comission controls or are they affected by the time travel as well??

I was rewatching season 2 and a couple of things grabbed my attention that made me wonder if it’s a plot point or a mistake.

The main two points that really got me thinking about the Commission and the timeline is the whole scene with Diego and Herb in the Infitite Switchboard

First point: When Diego mentions Hazel, Herb says “Who?”

- That answer sent me mind spinning with questions. We would assume everyone knew who Hazel and ChaCha were since they were from the commission sent to kill Number Five. You would think that because they failed to kill Number Five, and Hazel shot the Handler, he would be known to most. But Herb doesn’t know him, which leads me to think either

1. Only the case worker in charge of the apocalypse would know about Hazel and Chacha (which is doubtful bc Herb seemed to a close coworker, with only Number 5 separating them so they may have discussed what was happening over lunch. That seems like Herb)

2. Maybe no one knows Hazel shot the Handler (which is also doubtful bc the handler doesn’t seem to be the kind to keep her mouth shut when it came to name her attacker) but I mean they didn’t really fail in their task. Though Hazel did fail to kill Number Five, their main goal was to maintain the apocalypse, which did occur so technically 🤷🏻‍♀️

3. Does time travel really mean jumping from one universe to the other? I will expand on this by focusing on the next point

Second Point: Herb doesn’t remember that JFK was shot

Continuing from Herb not knowing who Hazel was, he doesn’t seem to know the JFK was shot and killed in 1963. Which is confusing considering they’re meant to keep the main timeline from diverging which means

1. The timeline has changed. Which I mean we knew, BUT with Herb not knowing about JFK does that mean that everything the Umbrella Academy does, it actively changes the main timeline as well?

2. I was under the impression that there was a main timeline that the commission knew and sought to keep under control. One that even if the Umbrella Academy fucked up they would act to correct and put back to normal. But with Herb thinking the correct timeline was Vanya going off, does that mean even the correct timeline can change without either party knowing?

3. And if that is true, how can the commission know the Umbrella Academy fucked shit up. Obviously the Handler knows the Umbrella Academy was the cause of her downfall but does she know that their original timeline had JFK shot and the current time had the explosion? And if that’s the case how can they be after the Umbrella academy if they don’t know what it was supposed to be if the main timeline is changed. This is so fucking confusing.

I guess what I need answer to are:

1. Is their a main time line the comission aims to control?

2. Can that timeline adapt without them knowing?

3. Is there a certain management level that realizes that the timeline has changed versus lower level employees like Herb previously was, that knows that there has been a change versus those that don’t even realize the timeline has changed?

4. Is every time jump that Number 5 does, a jump to another universe?

I had assumed that since assassins also time traveled to keep the timeline according to plan, it didn’t affect the time line but maybe it’s only Number 5s time jumps that really change the timeline. I had always assumed his first time jump didn’t count as a change in the timeline because jumping forward in time only affected him, but now that I think about it, him jumping forward changed everything in the past. Because every action he would have taken in the past was henceforth erased from the timeline. He jumped into another timeline where Vanya was the bomb. Bc remember he was the closest to Vanya. She would set out sandwiches for him every night, which means he might have been able to make her feel less isolated even if just by a little bit.

Number Five’s second jump was not sanctioned by the Commison and was not made by the briefcase as he stated that his formula was wrong (ie teen body/old soul). He jumped forward in his personal timeline but back into his siblings timeline, creating another branch of a universe. One where he was actively trying to stop the apocalypse but simultaneously pushing it forward. He changed the 2nd universe/timeline he’d created when he’d jumped forward, so this is the 3rd timeline/universe

His brief work at the comission created a small pocket of the 3rd timeline/universe. I.e the day that never was. Before he popped back into the 2nd universe but this time properly with a time briefcase which I’ve decided henceforth is the only way to safely time jump.

And yet up to this point it’s been assumed that the Apocalypse was always meant to happen as stated by the Commission. So nothing has technically changed, though we don’t know what the original timeline was meant to be (we aren’t even going to begin to mention Reggies timeline bc that goes off into another divergent. You can read my thoughts on that here.)

Then we go to his third jump, which is now backwards in time. I don’t think he was thinking of an actual place and time bc he botched up the jump and scattered them through time. But the stress level was high so we can’t blame him. Anyways that causes a new timeline, with a new apocalypse.

Now this is where we have another divergent. This is where Herb doesn’t remember that JFK was shot and who Hazel is. This is only proof that when Five jumps, the whole timeline changes. Unless it was a mistake which is why I need answers.

So we have the new timeline with a new apocalypse but Hazel comes in at the last minute and goes back in time with Five, using a proper time travel briefcase BUT not a sanctioned time jump, which causes another timeline branch. One where the past has been affect by the Hargreeves, Ben is able to diffuse Vanya, JFK gets shot (as per the previous timelines and all the Hargreeves know about said assassination) the kid now has powers and Lila has been MIA since finding out the truth and running off with a time briefcase. (we aren’t even going to begin to wonder what hell she has created)

Either way, the Hargreeves have now time jumped forward to a 2019, but a new 2019 with a Reginald that knows about them and chose not to repeat the past. Now since they did have a sanctioned jump I think they are in the same timeline. The didn’t have any further impact on this current universe/timeline than what they did from 1960-1963, but their jump didn’t send then into yet another timeline despite what they might think. I’m not sure they could ever make it back to the original timeline/universe. At least I’m not sure until we get more answers about the main universe/timeline and what the Comission really is.

And because of said question, could it be that since Herb didn’t know about the original timeline (where JFK was originally shot and the Hargreeves caused the apocalypse) he didn’t send them to the right 2019 universe/timeline. He sent them forward to the current 2019 timeline of this, what 6th (?) Universe/timeline branch?

(Let’s map it out real quick bc I’m lost)

1. Original timeline

2. Five jumps forward in time, Vanya is the bomb. He find the eye

3. Five jumps back, arrives after his father dies but before the apocalypse

4. The day that never was, is short lived, before Five jumps back to #3

5. The Umbrella Academy jumps back to the early 60’s. Vanya is the bomb

6. Hazel time jumps Five backwards a couple days and Ben deactivates Vanya, JFK gets shot, but also the past has been changed regardless.

7. Mini time branch, all the siblings are killed, along with Lila, and the handler until five jumps back a couple seconds. Similar to the 4th time branch in that it’s a pocket of a universe that disappears with a time jump)

(Yes, my brain hurts from trying to keep everything in order. I just want answers 😭)

Me trying to figure out this fucking timeline

*******Edit********

I just thought about the Handler and her deal with Number Five. Honestly, we all knew she was gonna stab him in the back even if she did get him and his family back to the future. BUT what future was she going to send them to? Would she have sent them back the OG 2019 timeline? Or was it always going to be the new/current timeline and a new 2019? Questions to think about 🤔

[amerasdreams]

I have been listening to True Spies podcast on Spotify. It’s apparently connected to a thing called Spyscape, which has a museum/experience thing in New York. They also have an online test for your personality and intelligence.... well those intelligence tests all of course have to do with math. and they are TIMED. somehow I got thru guessing most of them.... didn’t score 0 but didn’t score great. 

so guess what I scored on intelligence!  and personality scores mean I’m more prone to health problems and being unhappy.... :( 

(here I woke up thinking I can be uniquely me, I don’t want to be like anyone else anyway, I can embrace that... but how can I when what I am is this pathetic)

I shouldn’t have done this, I know what these tests do, make me discouraged and hate myself more. they even said I’m not imaginative and creative-- things I value most besides intelligence (and intuition/empathy...) 

they did say the “spy role” I was most suited for, which is what I’m most interested in, intelligence analyst. But in the more “practical” side, for jobs, it mentioned medical things, technical things, which I wouldn’t be good at and don’t like, business marketing-- working for a business I don’t care about, a job with no meaning....  it even had mathematician! when I’m obviously not good at math. the only jobs I might be interested in are psychologist/criminologist... idk.... to late for me to get any career anyway, let alone somehow what I really want

they did a risk assessment, where you blow up the balloon before it pops to get “money” - yesterday I started it and panicked when the balloon popped the first time and closed the window. then when I was walking the dogs it occured to me it was a test lol and I would just have to keep risking popping the balloon... so today I saw it as more of a game and not the ‘scary balloon popping oh no I lost money!” -not even real money. idk about fun.... all these things were stressful esp the intelligence test. 

today I started the test, thinking it might help me, get insight into what I can do, instead, it discouraged me, I’m what I thought, mediocre and not suited for much, they only gave a “role” to me because they had to give me something. It said the intelligence analyst is inquisitive--when it just said I wasn’t -  idk how this even fits with the test bc analytical? that wasn’t one of the dimensions and doesn’t seem like I scored high on implied analytical powers, same with determined-- 

how can i live with myself being like this, having no role and no future according to any dimension that really counts. don’t want to be plodding away at menial tasks when I want to do something Imaginative, Creative, Intellectual-- ha can’t even do that

oh I’m proving them right, easily stressed and sensitive and reactive -- 

I’m not including the risk assessment bc I don’t think it’s accurate-- I’m really very risk averse in all cases... oh we know that already so. 

~

results (bold/parentheses is mine)

MENTAL HORSEPOWER

Unlike Alan Turing would, you scored moderately low {yay!:(} on this attribute. The result, driven by your performance in the personality tests, suggests that, on the whole, you struggle with complex mathematical and analytical problems. {so how can I be an analyst?} That said, you can usually spot patterns and find links in data – as long as the information you have been given isn’t too abstract. (I like big picture things.... abstract things... apparently I’m not good at it)

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like other people with a moderately low Mental Horsepower score, you are more likely to ‘go with your gut’ when making decisions rather than to apply logic and reason (that’s true.... logic is mystifying. fits with being INFP-- logic is my weakest point). It is unlikely that you will sit down and win a game of chess, and you probably rely on your satnav rather than read a map yourself. (yep.... chess is too much strategy... I can’t see ahead like that .. hm how could I be an analyst)

IN YOUR WORK

Because you are not a very conceptual thinker, you are better in roles where you can do things ‘automatically’ rather than applying any abstract reasoning skills. You are not bad at visual-spatial or mathematical tests though, and with training and practice, your skills will definitely improve.

THE SCIENCE

Mental Horsepower relates to our general cognitive ability and our capacity to think about, reason with, and understand abstract concepts. It particularly links to analytical and mathematical skills, but also covers memory, comprehension, language, learning capacity and judgement. These are hugely significant skills for success at work and in everyday life.

Psychologists have developed all kinds of tests to measure cognitive ability. Some of these involve predicting outcomes from patterns in data (also known as inductive reasoning), while others focus on mentally flipping and rotating images. We use both of these approaches in our Mental Horsepower tests at SPYSCAPE.

Recent neuroimaging research shows that intelligence is linked to brain patterns, and that these patterns are unique to each of us (meaning you can’t change them :(  )– much like our fingerprints. In one study, these brain ‘fingerprints’ were used to successfully predict people’s scores in IQ tests.

While IQ tests are probably the most common method for determining cognitive ability, there is some debate over whether they provide a complete picture. For example, theories suggest that there are many different types of intelligence which are not accounted for in these tests. Still, it is generally accepted that people who score highly on tests of cognitive ability are on the whole better at completing intelligence-related (so that career’s out... if it was ever in lol) tasks in the real world.

~

COMPOSURE

Unlike Jason Bourne, you scored extremely low (low on everything! what a wonderful person!) on this attribute. The result, driven by your performance in the personality tests, suggests that you are far more vulnerable to stressors than most people (I knew that). You are likely to have a very strong emotional reaction to negative events and your brain becomes highly active when you see something you perceive as unpleasant (like this test!). Although this means you find it hard to relax, it also means you are really tuned in to your surroundings ( and what’s the upside of that? nice consolation prize....)

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like other people with extremely low levels of composure, you are highly likely to experience anxiety and burnout. (with things that aren’t really stressful to anyone else. just stepping outside. just being inside-- doing thigns like this.. doing most things actually-- help how can i live) You can be far too critical of yourself (well how do i stop? if this is how I am like), especially when you are stressed (which is almost all the time), and this can make it tricky for you to overcome problems (which is never, which is why I’m still living w my parents). You also dwell on the past far more than people with high composure.

On the positive side, you are responsive to your environment, which means you are more likely to anticipate negative outcomes and find ways to avoid them (like almost everything). You are also sensitive and caring, and your observant nature means you look out for yourself and the people close to you. (what’s the point of that when you can’t do anything, or get to know new people)

IN YOUR WORK

It is unlikely your colleagues will turn to you when there is an emergency or crisis at work. This is because you struggle to keep your emotions in check, and challenging situations can get the better of you. When this happens, you are not great at maintaining focus or making tough decisions.

THE SCIENCE

Composure relates to how our brains respond to stress. In tense situations, your brain activates an area called the hypothalamus, which releases adrenalin and cortisol – also known as stress hormones.

A bit of stress now and then is important for survival, because it alerts us to the dangers around us. Small amounts can be useful, but too much over a long period of time is bad for our health (oh goody). Studies show that the adrenal cortex, the part of the brain that releases stress hormones, is also linked to the healthy function of our immune system – and people who are more prone to stress are also more likely to get sick.

There is also a connection between composure and working (short-term) memory. Composed people perform better on tasks where they need to recall and use relevant information while they’re doing something else – for example remembering the steps of a recipe when cooking a meal.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN COMPOSURE ARE

LAID-BACK

RELAXED

COOL

FOCUSED

POISED

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN COMPOSURE ARE

EMOTIONAL

SENSITIVE

PERCEPTIVE

RESPONSIVE

VIGILANT

~

Contentiousness

Unlike diligent Mission: Impossible hero Isla Faust, you scored moderately low on this attribute. The result, driven by your performance in the personality tests, suggests that unlike Isla, you find it difficult to keep focused on long-term goals {Idk about this. goals are all i focus on.... well. I think about them often but Idk how to create the steps to get there and so things fizzle out and I get-- discouraged what else is new). You get distracted or bored quite quickly and are often drawn to new ideas and projects instead of finishing what you are currently doing (well.... hm. I finish novels...). You understand what is important in life, but you sometimes skip the details. (I’m not a detail person... I can be but they often seem irrelevant)

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Because you prefer not to a follow a schedule, hobbies that require regular training are not for you. In fact, your interests change quite regularly, and you find long-term commitment a challenge whatever the activity. Friends and family know that if they want you to do something, they need to encourage you to get organized. When they press you, however, you do things pretty well.

IN YOUR WORK

You take a relatively flexible approach to work. As such, you get distracted easily and do not always complete the task in hand. Because of your tendency to do this, you are likely to change jobs – and perhaps even career – fairly regularly (I want variety... Idk, this sort of fits, sort of doesn’t).

THE SCIENCE

Conscientiousness shapes how likely you are to follow rules, regulate your own behavior and get yourself organized. The more conscientious you are, the more motivated by goals and tasks you are likely to be.

According to what psychologists call the ‘Big-5’ model, conscientiousness is a core dimension of personality – and one of the five key traits that drive human behavior. Whether you are high or low in conscientiousness can help predict your success in social, academic and professional situations.

If you have high levels of conscientiousness, you are probably more productive and better at adapting to new situations (that’s true, I’m not) that come your way. However, this does not mean that being conscientious is always a good thing, because research also shows that being too conscientious can lead to overthinking. (I do that too...)

Some studies suggest that people who are more conscientious are healthier – and they might even live longer. This might be because conscientious people are more likely to exercise regularly, eat healthily, and avoid smoking or drinking too much alcohol.

It’s hard to say where conscientiousness comes from. One study found a link with areas of the brain relating to attention and cognitive control. There is also evidence to suggest that genes play their part. It’s likely that social factors such as your upbringing influence how conscientious you are, too.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN CONSCIENTIOUSNESS ARE

HIGH-ACHIEVING

ACCOUNTABLE

THOROUGH

DRIVEN

SELF-DISCIPLINED

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN CONSCIENTIOUSNESS ARE

IMPULSIVE

FLEXIBLE

EASY-GOING

SPONTANEOUS

ADAPTABLE

(I think I’m sort of this, sort of not because I’m borderline INFP -- P is flexible, impulsive while J is more structured-- I’m slightly more Perceiving. goes to show Myers-Briggs is pretty good at describing personality accurately....)

~

INQUISITIVENESS

Unlike Carrie Mathison in Homeland, you scored moderately low on this attribute. Your score was driven by your performance in the personality tests, and it suggests that you are pretty cautious about new ideas, beliefs, cultures and theories.

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like other people who scored moderately low on this attribute, you are not so willing to take on board other people’s views (that’s true). You will consider what people have to say, but you are likely to stick with your own opinion. You feel more comfortable in familiar situations and surroundings (well, yes...), and you do not really feel the need to explore new places (I kind of do, though... I want to but I often... don’t. because it’s too hard).

IN YOUR WORK

Because you aren’t motivated to learn or acquire new skills (Idk about this... depends on if it’s something I’m interested in. I’m learning like 15 languages on Duolingo...), you are less likely to seek out new opportunities at work. And the longer you stay in a job, the worse your motivation is likely to get. In general, you tend to perform better when you start a new position, although you will carry this out using the same approach you always have, rather than approach it in a new way. You like real-world, practical work that has straightforward solutions.

THE SCIENCE

Inquisitiveness is an important trait for discovering new things and building a better understanding of people and of the world around us. Psychologists have developed tools for assessing and measuring how inquisitive a person is.

These are based on extensive research into personality and are designed to evaluate five facets related to inquisitiveness: (i) intellectual curiosity; (ii) aesthetic sensitivity; (iii) active imagination; (iv) attentiveness to inner feelings and; (v) preference for variety.

Furthermore, personality researchers have identified two types of inquisitiveness; ‘epistemic’, which refers to information seeking ( I think I’m more information seeking?) behaviour and ‘perceptual’, which refers to experience seeking.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN INQUISITIVENESS ARE

CURIOUS

OPEN-MINDED

IMAGINATIVE AND INVENTIVE

CREATIVE

ADAPTIVE

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN INQUISITIVENESS ARE

PRACTICAL

CONSISTENT

TRADITIONAL

HABITUAL

PRAGMATIC

~

SOCIABILITY

A bit like Alec Leamas in The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, you scored extremely low (yay. well I knew this... and from answering the questions... )on this attribute, which suggests that you prefer to spend time alone and keep yourself to yourself. You avoid parties, meet-ups and other noisy gatherings because you find them overwhelming (wayyyy). If you really have to socialize, you need plenty of quiet time afterwards to help you rest and recharge.

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like others with an extremely low sociability score, you don’t like being the center of attention and often struggle to start conversations. You think a lot before speaking and regularly find it hard to express your thoughts and ideas. Because of this, you often let others do the talking, and you don’t take part in small talk either. This behavior means you might come across as socially reactive, and people may think you only talk to them when you feel you really have to (as in, extremely negative, and I shouldn’t exist. although... i do talk to them if I have to.... haha I do take part in small talk because I think I have to. or people will think I’m rude. but I don’t like it. I’m sensitive to how I’m perceived and don’t want to be seen as too antisocial, but I talk to others out of fear not of want... yikes. no wonder no one wants to be around me. well I don't want to be around them. well - I want to be around people I know well. for limited amounts of time... need less to recharge from people I know than strangers. I want to be with them, I don’t want to be with strangers-- it’s only stress and not fun at all. but how do i get past the stranger part to the friend part if I don’t like being with strangers and it’s all stressful adn overwhelming? How do i participate in society, have people to talk to, have any sort of success??? - shouldn't exist.).

IN YOUR WORK

Because you are more comfortable working independently (please. HOW???? besides working for myself... haha can’t work for anyone else bc can’t get past the interview, these ^ traits are obvious and not something any employer in their right mind wants), you will be more productive – and much happier – managing your own workload, tackling problems alone, and avoiding company brainstorms and powwows.

THE SCIENCE

How sociable you are can be linked to your levels of happiness, positivity, and wellbeing. In fact, sociability relates to a variety of positive outcomes in life, including how successful you are at work, how well you cope with challenging situations, and even how physically and mentally healthy you are. (yay. I’m doomed. I might as well kill myself now)

People who are highly sociable are more positive emotionally (case in point!) than those who are less sociable. In one brain imaging study, people with a high sociability score had higher levels of brain activity when they saw images of happy faces and other positive emotions.

The same part of the brain that processes emotions also helps interpret information from social contexts, which means we can judge a social situation and then respond appropriately (social situations, like math problems and logic, are mystifying to me. yay the things that are highest linked to success--).

There is some evidence to suggest that highly sociable people might be better at detecting and decoding the meaning of social cues –  including how they analyze and read people’s faces (oh, I know that. I have a hard time judging people’s faces, in fact I often think they are mad at me or judging me by their faces when they probably aren’t. I even have trouble finding out what emotions go with what emoji! besides the basics. i mean why, how are there so many emojis....). This means they are likely to find social interaction easier to deal with than others (lol yes. it’s . not easy. why. do i have to be born like this. always been. hell..).

There is also research to suggest that highly sociable people have more connections between regions of the brain that involve visual stimulus and regions that process social and emotional stimuli. (brains are better, we get it)

Sociability might also be associated with the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is linked to reward-seeking behavior. It is thought that people who are highly sociable may have an enhanced response to dopamine in the brain, which makes them pursue rewards such as attention, status, power or pleasure. This would explain why, when they get these things, they feel happier or more satisfied.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN SOCIABILITY ARE

TALKATIVE

FRIENDLY

ENTHUSIASTIC

ENERGETIC

EXCITABLE

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN SOCIABILITY ARE

QUIET

RESERVED

INTROSPECTIVE

PRIVATE

SHY

^ ALLL negative attributes, I need to just kill myself now, no future. 

[yaboylevi]

Hi vivi, there's smth I didn't understand, about when Levi was ignorant about Erwin's true motivator then when he knew it. In the beginning he used to talk about freedom stuffs but after Shiganshina battle he almost didn't? Was those freedom stuffs related to his fake vision of Erwin?

Hey there!

Honestly, I'm not the best person you should ask this to. I'm pretty sure I've proven myself to be someone who does not understand Levi very well. Or maybe, what I understood of him was either wrong all along, or it is simply something I don't like anymore, and that I find pitiful (especially if this is all there is to it), after putting together all the pieces of his character arc until now and in light of more recent highlights of his character when paired up with his past.

For the sake of giving you my opinion, since you asked, I think Levi has lost himself, and that's why he doesn't bring up freedom at all. This is just my rough interpretation of a part of his psychology that I've never quite seen analyzed so I could just be wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  tl;dr at the end.

I think he lost confidence in himself all the way back when Erwin made him think that Isabel&Farlan's death, his family, was his fault, 

"A heavy sense of regret cut away at his heart, more sharply than the blades he held in his hands. Levi thought. That's right—what Erwin said was right. The one who's wrong was me. I lost a fight that I could've won; I'd even gotten my allies killed. The responsibility for all that falls on the one who'd made that decision…me." x

and so Levi made his life all about following Erwin and his superior, bigger goal, without knowing what it was, with the belief that it was something selfless and that he couldn't understand it simply because he himself wasn't worthy, was inferior. Just like Kenny thought he was inferior to Uri until the very end (but at least Levi had the much-awaited epiphany that no, it wasn't the case. Though I'm not sure if he absorbed the lesson or not - I think he didn't). Anyway in his mind, that goal he couldn't see could make all the sacrifices worth it, it made you a better person, one that had no regrets. And this, in particular, is Levi's biggest struggle - you'll always have regrets, but you can accept them if for the right cause. The moment this cause is no more because it was sort of a fraud, how do you deal with those regrets and sacrifices, how do you make them worth something again? -> simple, pick someone you hate, pin all the fault on them and kill them. This is what he's grappling with, currently.

He's been stuck there for 4 years because he was used to not having "mental autonomy". Erwin's idealized goals became his, simply because Levi considered himself inferior, without a worthy or right goal, only able to mess things up and causing others' deaths, so he should naturally follow someone superior. He gave up thinking for himself when he decided to follow Erwin, because Levi had lost faith in his qualities as a human - he got his friends killed, right? It was his fault, right? He can still think for himself and he has his own opinions, but when it comes to the future, or to making big decisions, he is unsure and scared and lacks confidence and so he leaves it up to Erwin, to following Erwin's orders. This is what I mean when I said he isn't used to "mental autonomy". Because he gave it up for the longest time. Why do I think so? Let's go back to ACWNR, the origin of our current Levi...in a moment of full despair and insecurity about his own decisions and decision-making skills, in my mind, it's like Levi gave up on himself and decided to put those skills and his strength at the service of Erwin's goal:

""All right… It looks like you have something that I lack. Until I know what that 'something' is, I'll go with you.""

What I get from this, and from what we have in the actual manga, it seems like Levi had thought Erwin's goal was a pure and superior one. He idealized Erwin and never really understood him. For years. He could accept all those deaths - of the soldiers they sacrificed together, and of Isabel&Farlan - only because he believed in this goal he didn't really understand and that he thought was a selfless one. He even sacrificed his own feelings. He disliked how Erwin used his soldiers as bait, but accepted every order because he believed in him and the goal he believed they shared. 

In the end, he found out Erwin's goal had selfish motivations. He was shaken up and confused and disgusted initially. This is proof that Levi really believed in saving humanity, in freeing it. But then, since he was Erwin's friend, he decided to accept that the real Erwin and his idealized version of him weren't the same. And he chose to keep avoiding making choices and to keep believing in Erwin, for some reasons that I tend to identify into two categories: 1. Erwin was his friend, you tend to forgive and accept things in your friends that you wouldn't accept otherwise, even if you disagree (and Levi disagreed plenty); and 2. Levi's delusion had to go on or he would feel the weight of all the sacrifices he made and he would get crushed - he wasn't ready to decide for himself, so he chose to still follow Erwin. In the end, he was forced to in RtS by circumstances when Erwin failed to make the call for Levi like he used to, failed to give him orders. When Levi tells him to die with the recruits, you can see on his face that this is the first time in a very long time that he actually takes full responsibility for those lives. Before that, I feel like he halved their weight because they were all Erwin's decisions, not his, he was merely following orders for a greater cause.

So, yeah, I think Levi had given up making important decisions (outside of the immediate ones in moments of dangers/on the battlefield), and then he was forced to make 2 very important ones in RtS all of a sudden. After giving up his "freedom" to Erwin's orders and decisions and goals, he was thrown back into reality full force. Making choices is hard and painful. He already knew (that's the whole point of him avoiding having to make them), he is aware of it on a personal level and he directly acknowledges this when dealing with Eren and imparting his lessons to others. But it's actually quite ironic because he always followed Erwin's orders to a T (even when he felt strongly against them), successfully avoiding choosing. In my opinion, his blind belief in Erwin was exactly the result of Levi never properly dealing with his own guilt re: Isa&Far. Because of it, he ended up thinking he's unfit to make choices. So he left the task to someone he deemed more capable and superior (and this is how the whole "Ackerbond" thing was described, basically, but you need to add to it Levi's self-deprecation and feelings of inferiority caused by his guilt, which make the whole thing even more codependent imo). The two decisions in RtS ("Give up on your dream and lead the recruits to hell" and the serum choice) meant he was responsible of the death of almost all the SC and also of their Commander. With how the situation is now in the manga, he may feel even more guilty. Because of those 2 choices, and of his failure at killing Zeke in Shiganshina, they're in this situation: Hange can't lead them, Zeke played them like a fiddle, the SC has never been this corrupted and divided. (For the record, I don't think Levi should be considered fully responsible for this bc it would just take away agency to all the other characters involved, but he sure did nothing to help the situation, that we know of.)

Hence why he's so hellbent on repaying those lost lives and on destroying Zeke, even if killing Zeke wouldn't mean victory for their current situation. Even if those deaths have already been proven to have been useful, not in vain. He's obsessing about this, not seeing past it, not seeing the freedom he was striving for before, because of his inner demons (his guilt and his insecurity about his own ability to make choices). That's why he's always there in the background doing nothing, barely expressing his opinions about the circumstances they're in. That's why his only two modes are conflicted and violent, because he's lost, and he has regressed in the sense that he thinks he can solve anything with violence like he used to. I'm glad the story has proven him wrong. Hitting Eren has amounted to exactly nothing. Being viciously sadistic with Zeke only blew up in his face (ah! sorry...).

I'm not saying he needs to repress his feelings. But everyone has condemned Connie's violent and irrational behavior (caused by pain and confusion) recently, but nobody can acknowledge the problems in Levi's behavior, though it is just very similar to Connie's. The difference is Levi is an adult and should technically act more like it. But I guess his development has been stalled since he met Erwin, because as I said, he gave it all up just to avoid dealing with his own feelings and responsibilities, something that would've made him "grow up" emotionally. So I really really hope he'll finally have this growth he needs to undergo, next time we see him. Just like I hope there is a positive resolution to Connie's internal conflict.

tl;dr: I think Levi really did care for humanity's freedom, he wasn't just parroting Erwin's public speeches. That's why he was disappointed in Erwin, because he implicitly did come to care about their freedom, as he explicitly said to Eren. However, he lacks confidence in his long-term decision-making skills, so he's focusing on the past, rather than the future. The only time he chose something that impacted the future was in RtS, and that "future" he's living in right now seems hopeless, probably also because of his choices (or so he may believe unconsciously). So I think he's been obsessing about the past and his past choices in particular, though this just stumped his growth, made him regress and actually made it impossible for him to create a vision for the future for himself - hence why he never brings up ANYTHING about the future of the island in a positive way like he did before...he doesn't have the confidence to believe in anything regarding their future atm; meanwhile, in the past he gained that confidence through following someone else's leadership. Some find it pure or romantic, I find it looks like codependency. If he managed to kill Zeke, he wouldn't have had anything else going on for him and this is...not a good look for a character, simply from a narrative pov. That's why I knew he would've never been able to kill Zeke and there was zero tension in their most recent fight for me.

In general, though, Levi has directly brought up freedom only once, to Eren. He has always fought more for individuals and to repay their sacrifices (almost as a self-inflicted punishment/strife to atonement for what happened to his friends). But I agree that we all were under the impression that he had the goal of freeing humanity inside the walls. This is also why I say I may have been wrong all along about him, and I have never truly understood him.

Why do you think he doesn't bring up Freedom anymore?

[shuakkinda-blog]

Joshua crushing on you !! // scenario

A bullet-point scenario starring our LA boy, Joshua Hong!!

Send in reaction and scenario requests on my page if you’d like to :)

- Josh is legit the kind of boy that my parents want me to bring home LMAO

- I don’t even have to list out why bc we all know that he is the epitome of a gentleman

- well, most of the time

- if you didn’t hear

- Josh has this secret “not-so-gentlemanly” side lolol

- I KNOW I KNOW IT CAN BE A LITTLE HARD TO IMAGINE AT FIRST BC THE BOY LOOKS LIKE A HARMLESS BUNNY

- but svt keeps bringing up how different Joshua can be off camera and I can’t help but think that they mean he’s 5000x more sassy irl

- and no not the bad kind of sassy, I mean the fun kind

- the type of sassy that keeps the conversation interesting 

- why I’m bring this up is because although Josh would want to show his gentlemanly side to his crush

- he’d also want to show his crush that he’s not always the passive, quiet type

- Josh knows there’s another side of him that could ALSO get him the girl he’s after

- and if she can handle this hidden side of his

- then he’ll know that this girl is definitely meant to be with him

- AY SCENARIO TIME !

- so as an intern at pledis, you’re given access to all of the company building’s facilites ay it’s lit

- from the water dispensing machines to the high quality speaker systems

- they’re all at your disposal

- as long as no one else is using them at the moment

- so one day you’re finishing up the last of your daily internship tasks when you spot a guitar atop a random table !!

- do yall know where I’m going w this?

- what does this guitar even have to do with you, you ask?

- well you’ve actually been wanting to learn how to play this m a g i c a l instrument for awhile 

- but you could never find a guitar that you could readily use for learning

- and since pledis is aLLOWINg you uSe whAtEver you wAnt in the buiLDINg

- you’re like:

- “wHAT THE HECK LET’S DO IT.”

- so you get the guitar in your hands and take it to a vacant office in the building

- at first you think it’ll be a breeze learning the instrument because THE INTERNET is by your side

- and guitar tutorials exist all over youtube soOoOOo

- WELL I’M SORRY YOU’RE WRONG IT’S ACTUALLY PRETTY HARD LMAO

- even with the help of “guitar for dummies” beginner tutorials, you just can’t seem to make the chords sound decent without straining your fingers in the process lol

- and even with all the pain, your playing still doesn’t sound too good

- BUT BEING THE STRONG INDEPENDENT PERSON YOU ARE, YOU! DON’T! GIVE! UP!

- so you decide to make this “guitar practice” a routine thing after finishing your tasks around the building

- M E A N W H I L E

- Joshua, having arrived to the building on the day you took the guitar for the first time, comes up to the room where he keeps the guitar

- he stops his tracks at the sight of an empty table, the table he usually returns the guitar to

- “it’s not here??” he says internally

- “oh well, I guess it’ll be back by tomorrow,” he shrugs and carries on

- but the next day, the guitar isn’t there agaiN

- and Josh starts to get a little worried about its whereabouts

- he looks around the rest of the room, thinking someone might’ve placed it elsewhere after using it

- buh n0pe

- he kinda gets a little lazy in his search and gives up for the day

- “maybe tomorrow,” he tells himself

- he actually ends up telling himself this for a whole week bc it just never reappears again lol

- and with that week passing, Josh’s worry for the beloved six-stringed instrument only grows

- so he asks people around the building if they’ve seen it anywhere

- almost everyone says they haven’t seen it recently

- until Josh comes across Jihoon

- “hey Ji,” he calls out the producer, who is fetching himself a drink from the water dispenser outside his studio

- Jihoon’s eyes move to Josh, letting him know that he’s got his attention

- “have you seen the Taylor guitar anywhere? You know, the one that I always place on the table upstairs?”

- “no, I haven’t,” he replies plainly

- “Oh, okay. Thanks,” Josh’s eyes dart down at the floor in hopelessness

- but just before Jihoon retreats to his studio again, he takes a step back

- “actually,” he catches Josh’s attention again. “I was upstairs a few minutes ago and I heard someone playing a guitar in one of the vacant offices on the third floor, but I didn’t check who was playing.”

- “I know it wasn’t you because-” Jihoon snickers before he can continue his sentence

- “what? Was it bad?” Josh laughs lightly

- “it wasn’t too bad, but it definitely didn’t sound like a pro either.”

- “I’ll take that as a compliment for myself,” Joshua smiles and shakes his head. “Thanks, Ji.”

- “no problem. Good luck trying to get it back.”

- so Josh heads up to the office floor to investigate

- and upon arriving on the designated floor, he hears strumming coming from down the hall

- he creeps quietly through the floor until the strumming is loud enough

- then he crouches down next to the door of the office you’re in

- but before he could peek into the room...

- “UGHHGG WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH,” you yelp

- and Josh, frightened by the sudden yelling, falls out of his position next to the office door, and his knee makes an audible thud

- you look back at the doorway and hEY IT’S THAT JOSHUA DUDE FROM SVT

- ... wait wTF IT’S THAT JOSHUA DUDE FROM SVT!1!1!!?!

- you guys know the basic things about each other from when you were formally introduced at the beginning of your internship, but that’s about it

- Josh’s face blushes pink upon being caught and he quickly gets up to brush off his knees

- “ah, uh, I’m- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to... you know,” he struggles to find words

- you’re speechless for a few moments, but you eventually work up the courage to say something at least

- “how long were you waiting there for?” you laugh nervously

- “uhh... not long I promise,” he smiles and puts hands up in defense

- “regardless, you probably heard how bad I was,” you cover your mouth out of shyness

- “oh nonono, you’re actually not that bad,” he tries to make you feel better

- “did you not just hear me out there?” you laugh at him. “Trust me, I’m pretty bad.”

- “okay okay, so maybe you’re... just okay, but I think you’ve got a lot of potential.”

- and inside you’re kinda like WHERE? WHAT POTENTIAL? LOL

- but what he said gives you a little bit of hope and you can’t help but smile

- “I guess,” you tap the guitar nervously. “I just started learning about a week ago. I found this guitar on to-”

- “on top of a table on the second floor, I know,” Josh smiles

- oh shit, is this guitar his? you think

- “wait, have I been stealing your guitar?”

- “mm well it’s not really mine,” he replies. “But I use it the most out of every one in this building.”

- “well, with the exception of this past week, when it went missing,” he laughs

- “oh my god I’m so sorry for not asking. I just-” you think of a better way to apologize, but Josh, being an unDeRsTaNDiNg gEntLEmAn, is quick to forgive you

- “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. All of the facilities here are meant to be shared with everyone anyways.”

- Inside you’re all sassy n shit like, DAS RIGHT BIH I’M JUST FOLLOWING THE RULES K

- but on the outside you’re just:

- “ah I know but I think out of everyone here, you should have priority over the guitar, you know. Because you actually perform with it.”

- “yeah, but I’d love for you to be able to learn too. I don’t even perform with a guitar that often. It’s honestly just a side-hobby,” he tries to justify

- “hey, if you want, I can give you some lessons or something,” he offers shyly

- “I don’t know,” you contemplate aloud. “I’m pretty hopeless with this guitar thing... I’ve been using the easiest guitar tutorials on youtube and I still can’t get it right.”

- “I know. I went through that too,” Josh shares some sympathy. “But don’t you think learning the guitar in person is better than learning it from some random guy on the internet?”

- “well technically, you are some random guy off of the internet too,” you tease fr tho we wouldn’t know about svt if it woren’t for the internet

- “HEY, at least I don’t look like some old man that lives in an outhouse, like the guy in that tutorial there,” he points to your laptop screen

- he’s super nice for offering but

- jeez this guy’s attitude though, you think to yourself

- is it sass?? or humor??

- and i thought he was supposed to be the gentleman of the group...

 - ... WHATEVER I LOVE IT

- and aw shit he’s kinda cute too... I’d pick him over this old dude on the tutorial vids any day lmao

- so you accept the offer for a lesson or two

- and it’s mostly because you’re curious about Josh

- you know his public reputation as a nice guy/gentleman

- but this encounter with him definitely showcased another side of him

- and you want to know more about it...

- so the first lesson happens the day after you guys meet

- and you don’t know this but Josh is actually pretty stoked to be teaching you the guitar

- he’s been meaning to talk to you for awhile, but he never really had a legitimate excuse to do so

- until now :3

- and although he thinks he’s gonna revert to his “nice guy” self out of nervousness with you

- your easygoing attitude makes it easy for him to loosen up and be his true self

- he cracks funny insults and jokes here and there and it just makes the whole lesson really fun

- after having such a good time, you guys agree to make this a regular thing

- but slowly, as you get better at the guitar, your little lessons become less like lessons and more like regular hangouts

- a lot of times you’ll find yourselves just jamming out to whatever songs you feel like playing

- not only are you learning more about the guitar, but more about each other as well

- these “lessons” are honestly what the both of you look forward to the most everyday :’)

- one day, during one of your hangouts, you show Josh a song on the guitar that you’ve been practicing for awhile

- he recognizes the song and begins singing along with you

- it’s probably one of those throwback love songs you both heard when you guys were kids bc tbh he’d be huge sucker for those lol

- and as he goes through the lyrics

- he realizes something

- what he’s singing... he means it... for you

- it’s cute when this hits him because he kinda loses track of the song and thinks about the lyrics to himself while he stares at you AHH

- and you’ll have to snap him out of his thoughts like, “hey Josh, why’d you suddenly stop singing?”

- you’d also have to wave a hand at his face to get him to stop staring at you

- Josh shakes his head after snapping out of his daze and apologizes

- “oh my bad, I’m sorry, uh... Wanna take it from the top again?” he laughs nervously

- and at night he’ll think about that moment he kinda lost himself in the lyrics with you

- and he’d replay a particular thought in his head:

- Josh, I’m pretty sure you like y/n...

- but does she feel the same?

- CRUSHING HABITS DISCUSSION TIME !!!

- I think the one thing that would bother Josh when he’s crushing on you would be the question that’s two bullet-points up ^^^^^

- do you feel the same? HECK YEAH DUDE TAKE ME NOW

- this would be the basis of all the little things he does to you when crushing on you

- well for one, he’d be the type to move closer to you when hanging out with you just to see how you’d react

- prior to his crush on you, he’d just point to the strings you need to press on the guitar when teaching you

- but while he’s crushing, he’s definitely gonna come up behind you and put his arms around you so that you guys can play the on the same guitar at the same time

- and if you ask him why he’s changed his “method of teaching”

- he’s probably gonna use some stupid excuse like,

- “it’s just easier this way, okay?” AIGHT JOSH AIGHT

- and oh boy this guy’s gonna be so damn proud every time his gets you flustered

- he’d do this by shamelessly throwing a few random compliments here and there like:

- “hey Josh, this riff sounds pretty doesn’t it,” you say before pluck away gently at the strings of the guitar

- “I don’t know,” he says as he furrows his eyes at the instrument

- “why? What’s wrong with it?” you ask

- “hmm, I just think there are prettier things out there,” he’d pause as he looks up to your eyes

- “like you.”

- “what?” your cheeks tint pink and a tiny laugh escapes your lips

- Josh starts laughing at your face. “It was joke, y/n.” ISTG JOSHUA

- your cheeks heat up until the pink shade turns into a red. “HEY, that’s- that’s...” you struggle to find words

- “a lie, I know,” he smiles. “God, y/n, I get it. You’re pretty. You don’t have rub it in my face.”

- “JOSH WTH THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEA-”

- “Stop stop, I don’t wanna hear it,” he hold up a finger to your lips to make you shut up and die internally rip you

- also

- from time to time you’ll feel the need to ask why the hell Josh agreed to help you learn guitar in the first place

- bc he’s honestly such a great teacher and you fEEL SO UNWORTHY OF HIS KINDNESS

- “hey Josh, why me of all people?”

- “pardon?”

- “why did you offer to teach me guitar when we first met? You heard me and I sucked. Like real bad.”

- he laughs

- “doesn’t everything I do for you make it obvious?” Josh says as he cleans out the dust on the guitar

- “huh?”

- “jeez, y/n, anyone can see through all of this. You’re just oblivious,” he laughs before blowing the surface of the newly dusted instrument

- “J-Josh are you trying to say-” you think he’s trying to say he likes you but he cuts you off

- “that you’re dumb? Yes,” he smiles slyly

- you roll your eyes and get up from your seat, annoyed by all the useless things Josh is saying to you

- “wait y/n,” he laughs and grabs your wrist before you could walk out of the room.

- you try to tug your wrist out of his grip, but it’s too strong

- “c’mon y/n, I need you to keep making me smile,” he says, his eyes softening at the sight of your face again

- you redden once again

- “so stay,” he continues as he loosens his grip on your wrist and moves his hand down to yours

- you let go of his hand and he follows. “why are you always trying to use dumb lines on me,” you sigh and struggle to hide a shy smile

- “but they work, don’t they,” he smirks as you sit back down next to him

- Josh would feel comfortable making his crush on you obvious as long as you give off signals that you like him too

- or at least get flustered when he says something nice about you goddamnit

- SO YEAH you’ll be up at night wondering if Josh really means the words he’s always teasing you with

- honestly he’s just trying to get you to confess to him before he can

- Josh just wants to make sure you’ve fallen for him like he did for you :’)

- BUT if you’re a tough person to crack, he’ll eventually reach his own breaking point and will have to tell you how he feels somehow

- LEMME EXPLAIN

- on some days when you guys can’t meet up (aka days when Josh’s schedule doesn’t allow him to go to the company building while you’re there), Josh sends you a text with a song or two that he thinks would be nice to try on the guitar

- and one day, instead of a few song titles and their artists, you get a link

- so you tap on the link and it leads you to a private document

- it has chords and lyrics scattered across the page

- but you don’t recognize the song

- and wtf it doesn’t even have an artist name or title on it

- so you search some of the lyrics up

- but nothing matches up to it

- so you text Josh back and you’re like:

- you: “hey man what’s with song you sent me?”

- Josh: “what’s wrong? do you not like it?”

- you: “I don’t know the song and this document doesn’t have a title or the artist’s name???” “so I can’t even search it up and give it a listen first”

- Josh: “well if you’re wondering who the artist is”

- Josh: “it’s me”

- Josh: “:D”

- you: “hAh nice joke Josh” “no really who’s the artist”

- Josh: “I just said it’s me”

- you: “JOSHUA HONG TELL ME WHO WROTE THIS SONG BEFORE I GET ANY MORE FRUSTRATED”

- Josh: “y/n I’m not kidding, I wrote the song”

- Josh: “and I put it into a document so you could try it”

- you: “Josh how the fuck am I supposed to play it if I don’t even know whAT IT’S SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE???”

- Josh: “Idk make it up? lol”

- you: “I still don’t believe it’s yours” “the lyrics are too nice”

- Josh: “I’m offended”

- Josh: “but thanks I wrote it anyways”

- you both stare at your phones simultaneously before Josh continues

- Josh: “it’s fine if you don’t believe me. I just want you to look through it and tell me what you think”

- you: “well it’s nice, like woozi-quality music...”

- you: “mAYBE HE WROTE IT”

- Josh: “okay but would Jihoon talk about you in his lyrics?”

- you: “wait what?”

- you: “I don’t get it”

- you: “waiT JOSH”

- you: “THIS SONG”

- you: “THE LYRICS”

- you: “ARE YOU TRYNA SAY SOMETHING HERE?”

- you: “HONG ANSWER ME”

- you: “I KNOW YOU READ YOUR TEXTS FROM YOUR HOME SCREEN”

- you: “WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU TO ANSWER ME”

- Josh: “text me when you get it”

- you stare at your phone once again

- Josh, what are you trying to say?

- you decide to give the lyrics another glance

- and you pick up on something familiar in a few of the verses

- “the songs are pretty, but there are prettier things like you”

- “I hold you close because it’s easier this way”

- “doesn’t everything I do for you make it obvious? see through?”

- “I need you to keep making me smile, so stay”

- did he just use the compliments he used to tease you with...

- to make a song?

- you immediately send a text to Josh

- you: “we need to talk when you get back”

- you wait for a quick response, but there’s none

- in fact, you check your messages, and it says he read it

- but nothing

- no word from Josh

- you’re kinda mad at him for the rest of the day for not replying

- the fact that he might just be confessing to you with these song lyrics keeps you up at night

- and you just wanted to talk it out with him to make sure everything’s crystal clear

- the next day you go to pick up the guitar in it’s usual spot, assuming you and Josh have no plans today since he’s so “busy”

- but the guitar isn’t there

- this can only be the works of a Joshua Hong, you think

- so you text him again:

- you: “Josh where is the guitar?”

- Josh: “I have it”

- you: “where”

- Josh: “find me ;)”

- you: “JOSHUA”

- you really want to talk to him today so you start your desperate search

- and you pretty much look everywhere except...

- wAIT THE VACANT OFFICE FLOOR, you scream internally before scrambling for the stairs

- and as you’re nearing that floor, you can hear the distant strumming of a guitar coming from one of the offices YALL KNOW

- and to no surprise, you find yourself at the doorway of the office you used to practice the guitar in all by yourself

- the office that Joshua found you in

- Joshua stops playing the guitar at the sight of you and smiles

- “why didn’t you reply to my text last night?” you ask in annoyance

- “because I knew you figured it out,” he says softly

- “yeah, I think... I mean, I could be taking it the wrong way but-”

- “go ahead. Tell me what you think I’m trying to say,” he leans back on his chair and waits patiently for your response

- you’re about to tell him you think it’s a confession to you

- but you know damn well that Josh is gonna embarrass you and say it means something else

- so you change up your answer

- “you’re trying to tell me that I’m dumb,” you smile coolly. “Like you always do.”

- “... you’re right,” he perks up a wider smile

- this was not the response you were expecting

- “JOSH,” you yell and pause for a moment to think about it

- “am I really?” you ask in an upset tone

- “yeah, y/n. You’re too dumb to realize that it was a co-”

- “CONFESSION I KNOW,” you say in frustration

- Joshua shies away, shifting his glance from your face to your shoes

- “looks like you’re not that dumb after all...”

- he actually... confessed?

- “well,” you clear your throat quietly. “I was pretty mad at you last night for not clearing this all up with me then, but consider yourself... forgiven.” a smile spreads across your face

- “what’s that supposed to mean?” Josh gets up from his seat and puts the guitar aside. He comes up close to you and looks down at your face, just inches away from his

- “are you sure I’m the dumb one?” you lift a brow. “because if you can’t tell what I mean by that, it’s probably you.”

- “it’s not,” his mouth curves up as he lifts your chin and lets his lips inch closer to yours

- but he stops before they can touch

- “wait, is this okay with you?” he asks hesitantly

- “Josh, as much as I love your gentlemanly side, I think it’s kind of ruining the moment,” you laugh

- “I’ll take that as a yes,” he replies before locking his lips with yours

- who knew someone could understand both sides of me so well? Josh smiles to himself