#i guess its really goodbye sounds really upbeat at first but the lyrics make me think of slowly growing apart from a close friend

[potatobugz]

5 7 or 10 for the music ask game?

5: "Man It's So Loud In Here" by They Might Be Giants, hehe. it's in the name you gotta

7: I have never driven before and therfor don't know the appropriate driving music however. I'd probably say something like. "Two Trucks" mainly bc it's a song about vehicles. Everyone knows you have to set the appropriate mood when driving 👍

10: "Mice on Venus" by C418. augh. ik it's a Minecraft song but literally every time I listen 2 it i cry aaahg. Honorable mentions include: "Thank You For Watching the Show" sung by Rebecca Sugar & "I Guess It's Really Goodbye" by Nelward,,,

[rebellionbeach]

HELLO apparently July 28th is the release date for Down to Earth therefore in honor of its 42nd birthday I wanna do a ranking of all the songs based on my personal preference of course. 

(I’m only doing songs from the original studio release sorry no Bad Girl or Weiss Heim but they’re both sexy ;))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwCsMQWkN3g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7YOM4gx3RE (spark don’t mean a fire aka the alternate version don’t worry it’s beautiful)

8. No Time To Lose:  Starting off this list we’ve got the second song off this record and it isn’t bad in anyway.  In fact, it’s very upbeat and energetic, especially with Graham’s absolutely stunning vocals.  However, compared to the rest of the list I feel it falls just a bit short.  The lyrics themselves are actually pretty dark looking at them with examples such as, “It ain’t no lie, you’re hurting and you don’t know why.”  Don’t know what Roger or Ritchie were going through but damn, anyway, musically the song is also very strong.  The guitar riff is addicting but I feel it’s the combination of, again, Graham’s vocals and Cozy’s monstrous drumming that gives this song so much energy.  Not bad at all from a song that’s at the bottom of a list.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1P17ct4e5OE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v0bDfZytwk (Russ Ballard version, it’s really good)

7. Since You’ve Been Gone: Listen, I know many may judge this choice but I didn’t put this song at the bottom because of one, the sentimental value it has, and two, it’s not a bad song at all.  Okay, it’s not the best as well but Russ Ballard made a beautiful song about heartbreak that is only made greater by this glorious lineup.  I’ve actually listened to Ballard’s originally version and while it isn’t bad, I feel that Graham really helped cement this song and really put Rainbow on the charts.  I especially enjoy the interlude section that drops into a sweet ballad type tone before dropping back into the chorus.  Graham’s versatile vocals are well-equipped to amplify this song to a new level and not only that but without this song I probably would have never started listening to Rainbow.  Although very commercialized and maybe too light to many, this song holds a special place in my heart and I do love it dearly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2XDORONuuY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmQBKq0d_-I (Cozy Powell mix, yes it’s exactly what you’d think it would sound like if the drummer was the producer)

6. All Night Long: The second real commercialized song on this album and honestly the last.  However, where it differs from the other is that this song still has big traces of that hard rock attitude that Rainbow had emerged into.  That simple yet beautiful riff that gets stuck in your head, Cozy’s powerful drumming, Graham’s powerhouse vocals, I mean what else do you really want from a song.  Just from that opening riff you feel that rush of just pure hard rock energy shiver through your body.  It really is just a fun hard rock song that, although may not be anything too complex, isn’t bad at all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeVFTeXs1o8

5. Danger Zone: Danger Zone always stood out to me as a very interesting and different song.  Don is absolutely phenomenal in this song, especially his keyboard solo which Ritchie follows up upon to make a beautiful instrumental section.  I’d be remiss to not mention Graham who hits at some of his highest parts here.  This song really showed off the prowess of his full vocal abilities, hitting high notes with all the strength you’d expect from a hard rock singer.  The actual lyrics of the song are quite beautiful as well I believe.  Parts such as, “Don’t understand when you’re looking for a dame but it’s only a heartbreak away.  And you’ll learn, faking has no return.”  Really suspecting some mental instability from either Roger or Ritchie at this point...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8FcrH1lDeY

4. Eyes of the World:  Many may be surprised why this song isn’t higher up the list but trust me, I have good reasons.  Eyes of the World is definitely a highlight piece in this album and really is a final goodbye to the Dio era of Rainbow.  The subject manner is very of that era and really feels like it could have been sung by Ronnie.  I think to many this song helped alleviate the fears that Rainbow had gone fully vapid with it’s material (though we’ll see how that sentiment drags on throughout the next few years)  Don Airey truly deserves the limelight here for that incredible keyboard intro that just sucks you into that dark world of evil.  He really makes this song something truly special.  Cozy Powell is phenomenal throughout all these tracks but especially in this track where he’s at his home environment and just listen to the interludes between the chorus and verse, just incredible.  Then to our man of the hour, Graham Bonnet, he just absolutely kills it here.  He puts so much passion and emotion into the vocals that I find it strange how anyone could possibly still doubt him as a suitable vocalist for the band.  Ritchie’s solo here as well is probably one of my favorites off of this album just really makes this song something truly special.  I often like to compare this piece to the Gates of Babylon or Tarot Woman to Down to Earth with an incredible keyboard intro and other-wordly themes of evil and darkness that make it a classic Rainbow tune.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iU__fm6QFvk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzQZoOvzzNo (Ain’t A Lot of Love In the Heart of Me, it’s brilliant and honestly parts are somewhat better than the final version lol)

3. Love’s No Friend:  I remember reading an article that talked about this song being Rainbow’s Mistreated.  That description always had stayed with me and while I partially agree with the statement, I also think this song is very different from the former.  Yes, both deal with heartbreak and emanates a grandiose sense of grievance from that sentiment however it differs in how that sentiment is delivered.  Mistreated, as stated by Blackmore, is really just a guitar song.  The relies both on David’s great bluesy voice that can conceive that anguish in his voice like no other vocalist can (love ya Dave) and Blackmore’s just heart-wrenching solo at the end which is probably one of the most emotional guitar solos I’ve ever heard.  With Love’s No Friend I find that it’s more of a complete package having all elements of the band contribute to the piece.  Not that but the lyrics are much more refined in this song.  I often find Mistreated’s lyrics very stale and boring since they’re basically just “I’ve been mistreated, I’ve been abused,” and the only reason they get away with that is because of David’s incredible vocal performances.  Trust me, Graham’s an incredible performer as well but these lyrics have much more substance to them and I feel just stands taller as a complete song.  Speaking of Graham, this is probably his strongest performance in the album.  You know what part I’m talking about if you’ve listened to this song but THAT part is just wow, that solidified him as one of my favorite vocalists of all time.  The entire song is really just a masterpiece and really just stands as one of the best Rainbow tunes in my opinion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1LvViMLKNo

2. Makin’ Love - Oh this song, how can I express my love for this song in ways that I haven’t already before.  Well if you didn’t know before, I put this as #5 on my top 5 Rainbow tunes and I still stick to it.  Let me just say, this is one of my favorite intros to any songs ever.  Don Airey is just magical in this entire album (and his entire career) but he especially shines here.  The simple yet beautiful little touches he adds throughout this song really makes it so much more profound.  That, once again, addicting Blackmore riff that just goes on throughout the song making the listener feel as if they’re going through a lonely yet sentimental walk down memory lane.  It kind of almost reminds me of one of my favorite Rick Springfield songs, Written In Rock, in that manner.  I guess I’m just a sucker for a pretty love ballad but man does Graham make it even better.  The man just had the perfect voice for these types of songs (please listen to Will You Be Home Tonight as an example) and he’s able to convey those vulnerable tones in his voice while maintaining that strong hard rock attitude like I’ve seen no other singer be able to.  I didn’t even mention the sudden shift during the pre-chorus that’s complimented with Cozy’s ferocious cymbal playing.  Overall, I’m just a sucker for a nice love song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRLHHftZEJA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eRLQyXzZ1Y (the live Alcatrazz version because Yngwie is a cocky little piece of work and gets his guitar unplugged for 1 minute of the song, Graham is a beast here)

1. Lost In Hollywood - The magnum opus, probably not only the greatest Rainbow song but one of the greatest songs ever written and produced.  I’ve already gone into detail about this song in my overall album review but just on first listening you can definitely tell that this song is something else.  The energy, the tempo, is almost seems rushing like they’re running out of time on the record to give everything they wanted to show to the listener.  The lyrics sort of remind me of Super Trouper (the Deep Purple one okay) if Super Trouper was an overdramatic and grandiose love ballad.  It’s obvious that the song is talking about the overbearing nature of becoming famous and the sacrifices one has to make to get to the mantle.  One of my favorite song lyrics of all time perfectly exemplify this through, “I’m gonna lose control, if I’ve been losing you to pay for rock and roll.”  They’re lost in Hollywood, not just the actual place but the lifestyle that befits every star.  I still think that Super Trouper as a song is a more profound piece on the effects of stardom as a whole but this song as well is beautifully written to talk about those themes in maybe not so personal manners.  The song really is just a beautiful showcase of the talents that were the Mark 4 lineup of Rainbow and stands in my eyes as one of the finest pieces of music ever created.

Yeah, I’ve probably over exaggerated enough.  Once again, I’m very biased here but I’m also speaking with my own tastes and experiences in mind.  Despite the constant lineup changes, Blackmore always seems to find the most top-notch musicians and I believe this lineup truly exemplified that.  It’s a shame that they couldn’t continue on but at least we got this album as a glorious reminder of what 5 musicians can do with enough talent and probably alcohol.

Also, the hallmark of all live performances: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5VPzJlUKVc

[padfootagain]

Girl Crush (XXXI & Epilogue)

Chapter 31 & Epilogue: Lavender And A New Assistant

 Here we are… this is the last chapter…

I'm feeling so sad to have to say goodbye to this fic, but it is time. All that needed to be said has been said. So, farewell, Girl Crush. I promise, I will stop crying, eventually, just give me a few days…

Warning for… emotions. Lots of them. You're welcome!

I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think about it!

Word Count: 5042

Would you be listening?

Probably not. The lopsided smile that settled on his lips as the thought crossed his mind was bitter and painful.

Letting you go was far from an easy process. He wasn't making any progress for now, but eventually, he would. He had to.

He had given you the tickets for this show, but he didn't expect you to come. Maybe you had given the tickets to someone else, perhaps you had torn them apart as soon as he had walked out of your shop.

The show was recorded, would be retransmitted through some radio station, he had forgotten which one. He often forgot details of this kind these days. Yet he couldn't help but wonder… would you hear him anyway?

He checked his earpiece one more time, a few seconds before climbing on stage. He could hear the crowd chanting already. He had a job to do. And even if he wanted to cry, he had to go out there and act like everything was perfectly fine in his world, because it was his job to make the world for every single person in the room a better place for the next 25 minutes and he couldn't let them down.

He had 5 songs to perform. 4 of his and a cover. He would sing Sign of the Times again, because everyone was expecting him to. Then Lights Up, Watermelon Sugar and Adore You would be played as well. He would finish the show by covering Juice.

He took a deep breath, and it was time.

The shouts were deafening, and he felt the pain a little bit relieved for a while. There was so much love thrown at him, that for a moment, he wasn't hurting so much anymore. He lost himself in these songs he had written, and jumped around the stage, and smiled as the audience sang along the lyrics he had created.

He couldn't help but scan the crowd in search for you though. Whenever the lights were up, his eyes travelled across estranged faces in an attempt to spot your features. And he thought he had spotted you at least a dozen times by the end of Watermelon Sugar. He brushed some sweat out of his eyes, catching his breath, while he looked across the rows once more.

He thought he had spotted one of your scarves at one point, but he was wrong. A jacket that vaguely resembled one of yours had him squint his eyes for a while in an attempt to study the face of the person it belonged to.

He was catching his breath after dancing, almost ready to start Adore You. His heart was beating too fast, but it wasn't only because of his prancing across the stage.

She's not here. She didn't come. She won't come, ever again.

If he knew that this was the truth, it was only then that the realization sank in. You weren't going to come to any of his shows, never again would he see you jumping in the middle of the crowd, shouting along to verses he had created. You would probably never listen to him again. If music had been so important to him for so long, it seemed to lose a part of its substance. Part of the meaning behind singing left his heart as he realized that the woman he had written for, the woman he longed the most to be heard by, would never listen to anything he had created or would create again.

He hadn't noticed as the notes from his song fainted that he had grown silent and motionless on the stage, too lost in his thoughts.

He shook himself and shot a bright smile that didn't reach his eyes. He had to go on, he had to.

But he didn't want to sing Juice now. He didn't want to sing an upbeat song, no matter how much he loved the tune.

Because he felt like that was the moment when he had to say farewell to you, even if you wouldn’t hear him. And there was only one way he could accept what his life had to become now that you had stepped out of it.

He turned to his band, walked to Mitch in hurried steps that made his friend frown, and told him against his ear to play another song, before moving to Sarah, and the rest of the musicians playing behind him.

They had played that song so many times during their first tour, actually, every time you were in the audience and every time he missed you too much. He knew everyone would know the song. He wasn't worried about an imperfect rendition, it didn't really matter anyway. What mattered was that it was your song. This song that the two of you had danced on for the first time, this song that you kept on humming together randomly throughout lazy days spent walking together and chatting about everything and nothing, this song that had carried your first and only kiss…

It was you to him, on so many levels, may it be the meaning behind the lyrics or the memories you had created along the melody. In any case, it reminded him of you too much. He had to bid you farewell, and that meant saying goodbye to this song too.

The first notes of Girl Crush rose above the cheers of the crowd, and the shouts from the fans only intensified. But when he turned to them, Harry couldn't muster a smile this time.

He could hear, even with the first note he sang, that his voice was raspier than usual, shaky, filled with more emotion than what he could handle, and he knew the tears would soon follow his breaking voice. He didn't really care, though. Noticing the intense emotion that had suddenly drowned his powerful vocals, the crowd grew quiet, and listened intently while Harry's heart was completing its destruction.

With every word he let out, he could feel a crack breaking inside of him.

I got a girl crush

I hate to admit it but

I got a heart rush

It ain't slowing down

I got it real bad

Want everything she has

That smile and that midnight laugh

She's giving you now

He could feel the tear roll down his cheek as he closed his eyes, but didn't stop singing as his voice turned a little hoarser than it already was.

I want to taste her lips

Yeah, 'cause they taste like you

I want to drown myself

In a bottle of her perfume

I want her long blonde hair

I want her magic touch

Yeah, 'cause maybe then

You'd want me just as much

He missed the next verse, his throat too tight for him to let out a sound. He held onto the microphone and its stand for dear life, until it was actually painful and his fingers begged for release. But if his hands grew sore, the pain in his chest was so much worse that he barely noticed.

He opened his eyes again, letting his gaze wander through the silent crowd. He could read the questions on their faces, wondering why he was so upset by this song he had sung dozens of times before. He didn't care. He needed the distraction to go through the song. He needed to see your face painted on others' features, just to keep the illusion he hadn't lost you yet, even if for just a few seconds more.

Every woman with your eyes caught his attention. Every woman with similar hair. Or with a piece of clothing he thought could belong to you. His eyes lingered on them for a moment, repainting your features across their faces until he thought they were you, and then the image faded, the lights showed the real person staring back at him instead, and his attention moved on to erase the face of someone else in favour of your memory.

Until his eyes moved to another face, a few rows away from the stage, but as the seconds flew by, your face didn't waver. The sight didn't wane. Your features remained there. You were crying.

He squinted his eyes, while he got back to singing.

I don't get no sleep

I don't get no peace

Thinking about her

Under your bed sheets

And that's when he realized that… he wasn't imagining your face this time.

You were here.

You were standing there, in the middle of the row, with tears wetting your cheeks. He struggled to swallow back the lump that was climbing up his throat, turned his head to the side to sniffle, and kept on going, locking his eyes with yours.

The way that she's whispering

The way that she's pulling you in

Lord knows I've tried,

I can't get her off my mind

You gave him a smile and nodded your head, in that proud way you used to do whenever you looked at him perform.

What were you doing here? Were you bidding him farewell too?

If he was happy and relieved to see you, his mind swirled with questions, and you read them all in his green eyes, in the frown that creased his brow, in the way he turned fully to you.

What could you tell him? You couldn’t just blurt everything that had happened like that. In the middle of a crowd? Not a chance.

I want to taste her lips

Yeah, 'cause they taste like you

I want to drown myself

In a bottle of her perfume

Could you tell him that you had heard that interview? That you realized then that you were taking the wrong decision? That you weren't with Gareth anymore?

How could you tell him all that while he was performing in that kind of show?

I want her long blonde hair

I want her magic touch

He stared at you as you searched for a way to tell him, and it killed you to see the hope in his eyes as he kept singing. You knew that he meant the question he was asking, and that his words were meant for you.

Yeah, 'cause maybe then

You'd want me just as much

You nodded, and his voice broke on the next words he tried to utter.

He saw you moving your lips, but couldn't hear your voice. He didn't need to though, it was pretty easy to guess.

I'm sorry, Harry.

His answer had the form and sound of a large smile wet with tears turned from bitter to hopeful.

I got a girl crush

Hate to admit it but

I got a heart rush

It ain't slowing down

The music died out and the crowd cheered. Your neighbours were crying too, although they knew nothing about the exchange between you and Harry.

A few minutes more while he thanked the crowd and his band, and then he was walking off the stage. But before he did so, he asked one of the security guards something and pointed at you. With a quick gesture of his head, he invited you to join him, and you were quick to follow his lead. Meanwhile, another artist was climbing on stage and making the crowd cheer again. You didn't even notice who had replaced Harry under the lights, instead, you were crossing the sea of bodies to reach the security guard Harry had spoken to.

A moment later, and you were guided backstage and to Harry's dressing room.

He was already there, waiting for you. You both thanked the security guard, and Harry closed the door behind you. When you turned to him, he was staring at you.

And God, it was so good to see you…

He couldn't help but take you in, even if it wasn't in a sexual way. Just… looking at you standing there before him. It felt almost surreal. He was expecting to be pinched awake by Mitch any second now to urge him to the stage.

But he wasn't dreaming. You were here…

When his eyes rose to meet yours, your heart stopped beating altogether.

"Hi," he breathed, his voice deeper than usual and barely a whisper.

"Hi," you answered with a shy smile, nervously twisting your hands together. "You were great. On stage, I mean…"

"Thanks. I… I have to admit that I didn't think you'd be here. Did you come alone?"

"Yeah… yeah, I came alone. I gave the other ticket to one of my clients, who was apparently a fan of yours."

"I… I'm really happy you came. I'm happy to see you."

"I'm happy to see you too. I've missed you."

The confession made you both look away, trying to hide the tears that started to form at the corner of your eyes.

"How are you?" you asked, and you tried to add something else, but the words dissolved on your tongue as your voice refused to come out.

"I'm not great, to be honest."

His answer forced you to look up at him once more. He shrugged.

"I miss you," he went on. "It sucks, but I miss you. I miss you so much…"

"I'm sorry. I never meant to make it all so hard. I just… I thought…"

"I know. I know."

"Things have changed, though."

He nodded, taking in a shaky breath. The atmosphere was tensed and heavy, and filled with an awkward kind of fear.

And Harry was cradling this crazy hope still, and he just wished that he had understood the signs you gave him in the crowd right.

"Gareth?" he asked in a breath. He only had enough strength to speak out a name instead of a whole question.

"I… realized that I was making a mistake," you answered with a shaky voice, brushing your tears away before they could fall.

"So… are you two…?"

"We broke up, yeah."

Harry couldn't refrain a smile, before he thought better of it, and sheepishly looked down at his feet.

"Sorry, I didn't mean… I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

"When did you two break up?"

"A couple of weeks ago. I've been staying at Jas' since."

"And then you came."

You nodded, and he looked up to stare at you once more.

"I… I kept on thinking about you and then… you came to the shop," you tried to explain, although your uncontrollable emotions were making a mess of both your voice and thoughts. "And I… I heard that interview you did with Howard Stern and… And I knew you were talking about me. About us. And it hurt so much…"

Your voice broke, and you needed a minute to gather yourself, putting the pieces back together to gather enough strength to go on and dry your cheeks on your sleeve. Harry didn't push you, waiting patiently for you to say whatever else you had to say.

"I… I listened to your album. To the one you gave me. Harry… Did you mean it? That note you left? Did you mean it?"

He gave you a sad smile, a few tears rolling down his cheeks too.

"Couldn't you tell? When you listened to the songs, couldn't you tell? They were all about you. They've always been about you. It's always been you, Y/N."

He wrapped his arms around you as you covered your mouth to shush your sob.

"Hey, stop that. You've already started to make me cry, and I won't stop till you do," he admonished.

And you were in his arms, pressed against his chest, and your face resting against his neck, his hand secured behind your head and gently stroking your hair, and his arm across your back.

You realized that this was what it felt like to come home.

You held onto him for dear life, afraid he would be the one walking away for good this time.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I fucked up. I fucked so bad. I should have never stayed with Gareth. After that night, I should have left him. I'm so sorry."

He closed his eyes, resting his lips against the top of your head.

"It's alright. I knew you'd react like that. That's why I didn't tell you anything for so long."

"Do you… Do you think that you could ever forgive me?"

He let out a chuckle, and for the first time of the night, the smile that formed on his lips climbed all the way up to his eyes.

"I could never refuse you anything, anyway," he mumbled against your hair. "Besides, I fucked up too. You weren't single, it wasn't fair of me to kiss you the way I did."

There was a moment of silence in the tiny room. In the mirror set against the wall, your two shapes were too intertwined, it seemed, to ever be separated. Harry's clothes were thrown on the back of a chair in a corner. The light was a little dim, yellowish hues tainting the shade that should have been white.

And for a moment, you simply both enjoyed your embrace, using the silence that settled between the two of you to calm down and finally stop crying.

"What do we do now?" he asked at last, in a shy voice, afraid of your answer.

"I mean… I would understand if you were mad at me."

He smiled again.

"I think we've both fucked up these past few months. I'm not mad. I was never mad. Just sad."

"I never want you to be sad ever again."

"Well, then… tell me something."

"Whatever you want."

"Tell me why you're here. Tell me why you came back. Just… tell me why…"

You looked up at him, running a hand through his hair, his eyes a little puffy and reddened but still just as beautiful as the image of them that came back in your dreams.

"I came because I was wrong. And I… I wasn't happy at all without you. And I… I'm sorry. I should have chosen you. I should have chosen you, because…"

It was strange to finally let the words out, when you had spent so long hiding them even to yourself. And yet, now that you stared at him, in his arms, they seemed so easy to confess and admit. It was the easiest, more natural thing in the world now.

"Because I'm in love with you. And I… I could never love him the way that I love you."

You gave him a sad smile, your voice shaky, but forcing the words out anyway, because you needed to finally speak them out loud. They had remained unspoken for way too long.

"I came because I love you. And I realized that I had made a terrible mistake, and I was hoping that… maybe you'd give me a second chance. What do you think?"

His lips cracked into a grin that dug dimples into his cheeks, despite the tears that were back to make his eyes shine.

"I think… I think that I'd really like to take you on a date tomorrow night. I know the perfect place. Would you like that?"

You were quick to nod in agreement, before letting out a breathy laugh, looking up at him again.

"You sang our song," you whispered, your voice still betraying your emotions.

"Our song?" he asked in a playful tone, despite the way his eyes shone in the dim yellowish light.

"Don't get cocky now," you chuckled.

"By the way, I know a place that's gonna be much better for you than Jasmine's tiny apartment."

"Really?"

"You could stay with me instead."

"Ever heard about taking things slow?"

"I don't mean… as a permanent thing," he mocked. "I just mean… while you find a new place to stay. Even if, I wouldn't be against the idea of you never leaving."

You shook your head, but there was such a tenderness in your eyes as you looked at him.

"What? Too fast?" he asked again, a playful expression on his face now.

"I don't know," you answered earnestly.

"That was way too fast. Are you crazy? That was a test! You haven't even treated me with a first date, woman!"

You couldn't refrain your laughter this time, and neither could he.

You were thinking about something more to say when he shushed you, his lips crashing against yours and kissing you as if he couldn't stop himself any longer.

But it was over after just a few seconds, and he pulled away enough to look questioningly at you. He looked afraid again as he stared into your eyes. He bit down on his lower lip, hesitating.

"Sorry. Was that o…?"

It was your turn to cut him off by kissing him, and this time, he didn't pull away. Instead you kept on kissing for a long time, his arm wrapping itself around your waist to pull you closer as his right hand came to cup your face, your own fingers finding their place in his hair and on his shoulder. And it was finally time for you to admit that you had been dreaming about this.

But then the door opened on Mitch and Jeffrey, and you made a movement to pull away, but Harry tightened his hold on you, as he had clearly no intention to stop kissing you for a while. His friends jokingly whistled and acted shocked, to which Harry replied by shooting them a middle-finger while still kissing you senseless.

And as you giggled against each other's lips, you knew you had made the right choice, and Harry was certain that everything would be alright now that he could hold you again.

Epilogue

5 years later

 "Okay, I have to admit that I never thought that I would ever say that but… Harry, you have to stop kissing me, now."

He looked up at you, detaching his lips from your neck, and gave you a dramatic falsely-outraged face.

"What? No kisses? Okay then," he took a step back, breaking his embrace and raising up his hands in the air, making you roll your eyes.

"I have work to do. You said you would help me in the shop today, and so far the only thing you've been doing is stealing kisses as soon as the shop is empty!"

"Oh, sorry… I thought that the point of spending my day off helping my wife in her shop was to spend time with her, but okay… okay…" he replied with a cheeky expression painted all over his face, being his usual annoyingly-charming self. "Then, I'll just work. Here again, you're using our relationship just to get me to work for free! Have you forgotten who painted these walls? Huh? Cause I haven't!"

"Are you saying that I owe you from then? It was five years ago!"

"A debt is a debt," he replied, struggling to hold back his smile, the corners of his lips twitching upwards.

The little shit. You loved him so much.

"You know… I think you're right. So let's settle it for good."

He only had time to raise an eyebrow before your lips were on his, and you were kissing him softly.

How did you find yourself with your back pressed against the counter, you weren't sure, all you could really focus on was the way Harry was kissing you and holding you tightly against him: perfect, as always.

When you finally broke away, your eyelids fluttering open, Harry was drawing a strangled breath and had kept his eyes closed for now.

"Alright, that sounds fair enough," he nodded, resting his forehead against yours.

"So… you're gonna keep on working for me for free? Can I pay you in kisses instead?"

"That seems like a nice currency, we should use it more often."

You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck to draw him even closer.

Five years… you could barely believe it had been five years already since you changed the nature of your relationship from friendship to being lovers. At the thought, your thumb traced the golden wedding band around your finger. For almost two years now, it had secured its place on your hand, and you had no doubt it would stay there for the rest of your life…

"But, you know what? I think that only pays for the paint. It doesn't cover all these afternoons I've spent here, helping you out making bouquets and carrying very heavy things."

You couldn't help but laughing at his silliness, which only broadened his smile.

"Very heavy things, huh?"

He nodded, a low humming noise escaping his lungs and sending shivers all the way up your spine.

"Very, very heavy. Very hard work right there."

"That deserves another kiss then."

"Maybe even two… or three…. Or four…" he bargained.

You laughed again, but then, it was a noise that rang a lot across your shop whenever Harry was there.

"Stop bargaining! Two is my final word."

"Three."

"Two."

"Three," he pouted, and God, how could you ever resist this man…

"Alright, three it is."

He brushed his nose against yours, his fingers tracing a line down your jaw, and you couldn't help but lean into his touch.

Five years, and he still made you feel the same.

An album and two full tours later, and he still never felt happier than when he opened his eyes in the morning to find you by his side in his bed.

He kissed you again, loving and passionate, and making you melt in his arms as if your knees had given way under your weight all of a sudden.

And you both knew perfectly well that none of you could ever grow tired of kissing the other.

It just felt right. Harry always explained it by 'you feel like coming home after spending years looking for a way back', and you reckoned that it was a pretty good description of how you felt like every time he held your hand, every time he kissed you, every time he wrapped his arms around you…

You only had to look at him for him to feel this way, like he was exactly where he had always belonged.

And of course, everything hadn't always been easy during these shared five years. But at the end of the day, he always chose to love you, and you always chose to love him.

When he broke away, breathless, lungs screaming for air and hand unsteady in your hair, the both of you had a pair of grins plastered on your faces, looking like two lovestruck fools.

But then, you were lovestruck fools…

"One," he counted.

Almost two years of marriage and his heart still skipped a beat every time he called you his wife.

22 months of being married and you still never felt safer than when you were in his arms, head resting against his shoulder and breathing in his scent.

When he took your hand and started to slowly sway, all you could do was lean in the movement and smile. You let him softly guide you into a slow dance as he rested his cheek against yours, both of you closing your eyes.

A low humming sound soon joined in, and you were not surprised to recognize the tune of Girl Crush.

It was your song, after all.

You danced for a while like this, lost in the sweet scent of all the flowers gathered in your shop, with the warm Californian sun coming in by the windows, with no one around to see the intimate moment except for your plants.

It was such a nice feeling to be absolutely complete. There was nothing else that you desired. Nothing of real value at least. You had your shop, you had Harry, you were dancing with your husband, and you reckoned that it had to be the definition of 'perfect' to you.

"I love you, Harry," you let out in a breath, without properly thinking the words through, barely noticing at all that they were leaving your lips.

He pressed a soft kiss to your temple, still humming. He only interrupted the melody to whisper in your ear his reply.

"I love you too, darling."

Your thumb traced his wedding ring, a mindless movement that always made you smile even if you weren't fully conscious that you were doing it.

He dropped a peck to your lips, and you chuckled.

"Two."

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head but unable to refrain an amused smile.

"That was not a kiss. That was a peck," he argued.

"A peck is a form of kissing. You've just wasted one of your kisses."

He burst into laughter.

"No, that doesn't count. I'm gonna show you what a real kiss is…"

You couldn't refrain a small gasp in expectation as you saw him leaning towards your lips, but the bell of the front door rang, freezing both of you with lips only an inch apart.

You heaved a sigh, while he seemed annoyed to have been interrupted.

You gently pushed him away anyway, and shot your customer a bright smile.

"Hello, ma'am!" you chimed. "I'm going to let my assistant here help you, okay?"

Harry raised an eyebrow and let out a shocked gasp.

"Excuse me?!" he breathed, clearly unable to believe what you were saying. "Assistant?!"

"Yes, you're my assistant. I'm the boss here, remember? That's my shop!" you teased him, struggling to not burst into laughter yet.

Harry turned to the middle-aged woman who had walked inside the shop.

"Can you believe that? I'm her assistant now!"

"Actually, you're not even hired here, my love," you replied, walking behind the counter to work on a new bouquet. "So, I reckon that calling you assistant is already a lot."

He let an outraged puff of hair, mumbling under his breath his next words so that you would be the only one to hear him.

"Wait until we're alone tonight, and I'll show you if I'm just an assistant."

You chocked on your own breath, feeling butterflies fly across your stomach, while your heart seemed to be stopping altogether.

He walked to the customer instead, still shaking his head.

"The audacity that woman has… An assistant?!"

 *****************************************************

Taglist :  @ponycake27​​​​ @horsesreign​​​​ @xinyourdreamsx​​​​ @jbluevelvet​​​@notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss​​​ @stuckupstucky​​​​@snek-shit​​​​ @suchatinyinfinity​​​​@i-padfootblack-things​  @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi​​​​​@jigsawlover10​​​​ @emyyjemyy​​​​ @addictedtofictionalcharacters​​​​​ @staringmoony​​​​​@madamrogers​​​​​ @cronias13​​​​​​ @stylesfics-xx​​​​​ @mellamolayla​​​​​ @mariaenchanted​

[whitleyschn33]

RWBY7 Soundtrack

Should I be reviewing/giving my thoughts on the OST when I have plenty of asks in my inbox to answer and have no musical authority at all? No, probably not. Am I doing it anyway? Yes.

This is just going to be in what (I assume) is the track order. Let me know if I miss any; I’m going off a YouTube playlist.

1. Trust Love

Initial thoughts: Eh.

It’s okay. It’s not my favorite opening, that honor goes to When It Falls, but it’s competent. Very optimistic, which is a trend for this volume’s soundtrack despite how dire the tone of the latter half is, so I don’t think it fully fits the volume it opens for, but it’s by no means a bad song. It’s easy to sing along and bop to, just doesn’t seem as impressive as the other opening songs. It feels like a different sort of sound than what RWBY songs have been in the past, which is also a running theme for the OST this volume - new artists singing, a lot of experimentation in the style. That’s not a bad thing; the tracks I like the most on this album are the different sounding ones, but it’s very.... noticeable, and didn’t go in the direction you would think for Atlas. 

2. Touch the Sky

Initial Thoughts: Why is the best part of this song the ending?

No, but seriously, that outro is a very different sound to the proceeding song and it’s so good. Other than that, I’ve got questions. Like, whose song is this? I’m leaning towards Team RWBY as a whole, but I’ve seen people suggest it’s Weiss’s, it’s Blake’s, I could see an argument for Yang - it’s very unclear. Also, why is the POV character(s) so happy? Their situation isn’t all that much better in terms of Salem and the Relic and all that; they should still be weighed down with that knowledge, shouldn’t they? They don’t trust Ironwood to help make things all better, they still have to carry the Relic (for plot reasons), the only thing that’s changed is that they’re going out on missions. Well, fresh clothes and a distraction are always nice, and it is a chance to put all that stuff on the back burner. I’ll give them that, then.

3. Brand New Day

Initial Thoughts: From the writers that make every Blake song a duet, here’s her volume 7 song; a duet with.... Qrow?

Have Blake and Qrow ever even spoken to each other? And, is there actually no solo Blake song, or am I beating on a dead meme? Actually, to be completely serious, these two actually work well in a song together. Their character directions compliment each other in this volume - both trying to reinvent themselves some and become better (Blake with her new hair and outfits, Qrow with a new outfit and a resolve to recover from alcoholism), it’s just a shame that, you know, this kind of talk or relationship never happens in the show. At all.

Someone in the YouTube comment section said this song sounds like a 90′s sitcom opening, and I have to agree. It really does, mixed with a bit of 50′s doo-wap. It’s not bad, I actually like the doo-wap, but it also has bits of the usual RWBY style rock, and they don’t mix as coherently as I would like in some places. The guitar bridge after Qrow’s verse is pretty nice, though.

Overall, it’s another good song to bop along to, but like the songs before it, I’m not sure it’s one I’ll be listening to over and over.

4. Let’s Get Real

Initial Thoughts: So, even the song thinks they should talk - why didn’t they?

Here’s something you may not know about me. I don’t romantically ship Renora. I’ve always preferred them as a brother/sister pair - probably in part because I’m a sucker for found family. I’ve never really had anything against romantic Renora, though... but this volume definitely made me go from neutral to dislike. Ren’s confused, he’s worried, he’s having doubts about their relationship that he’s not sure how to vocalize. He admits as much. And instead of, I don’t know, respecting that and letting it be for the moment, or pulling him aside to try and help him talk it through, she... kisses him. Instead of stopping to let them work through where their relationship is at the present (which would be nice, to clue the audience in on what exactly their status is), she pushes their relationship to the next level, presumably. It leaves a very bad taste in my mouth, that Ren’s emotions about his relationship with Nora are just shoved aside and aren’t brought up again. Hopefully it does in the next volume (Nora and Ren are notably split for, like, the first time ever in the Volume 8 preview), but still - I thought Tumblr had decided that “guy shuts a girl up by kissing her” trope was sexist or something - shouldn’t this be similarly scrutinized?

Putting that aside, I actually really really like this. It’s very reminiscent of Shine, but a Renora version; it’s got a great beat, the lyrics do a great job in character insight (something I love from RWBY songs, which are probably why Touch the Sky doesn’t do a lot for me), and it’s just a very fun, peppy song. It also feels very at home in Atlas with it’s more techno-leanings. The ending chorus chant of “Is it love?” is also a nice touch.

5. Celebrate

Initial Thoughts: The better Brand New Day (musically speaking).

And by that I mean, it leans all the way into this different style than the half/half approach Brand New Day did, and it’s all the better for it. Once again, another good dancing song, easy to listen and bop to, but it feels... oddly generic. For one thing, there’s no character tied to it, no character insight - I guess you could make an argument for Robin or the Happy Huntresses, but... not really? For another, while as a song I really enjoy the genre of music, it also makes it feel very much not like a RWBY song (something not helped by name-dropping Vegas). It’s fun, but it doesn’t feel like it adds much to the show.

6. War

Initial Thoughts: Wow, I didn’t think you could make me hate the AceOps fight more, but look at that.

Probably the first RWBY song I just flat out hate, and that’s a crying shame considering the excellent music and vocal performances. Those lyrics, though.  Just - I hate them. I hate them so damn much. I refuse to give this song more than that.

7. Hero

Initial thoughts: Hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah HELL YEAH - 

Best song on the album probably. It has all the usual RWBY flare, gives us a great insight into Ironwood’s thoughts and motivations, and is a fantastic performance by Caleb Hyles. The operatic section at the beginning is wonderfully chilling, and the rock section is very epic. 10/10 song even though I’m not rating these.

8. Until the End

Initial thoughts: Time to play “Who does this gorgeous song belong to?”

Actually, I really, really enjoy this song. It’s creepy in its melancholy, but I love it for that. The piano and subtle strings are beautiful, and the way Casey’s voice echoes gives the illusion of solitude in an empty place, perfect for the tone this song conveys.

Now, the matter of whose song it is. The consensus seems to be Ruby and/or Summer, and that’s pretty likely (and letting Ruby actually have a song would be nice). However, I heard a rumor before the album dropped that this was an Ozpin song, and going through it with that lens makes a whole lot of sense - the repeated “I’ll be here until the end”, the constant use of “we”, “our” and other plurals, the lines “ In waves of shame, we’re desperate to make amends / But through a simple soul, we lie complacent” could refer to him lying dormant in Oscar or other souls in the past instead of actively working to defeat Salem, and in the lines “ As light fills my eyes / I’ll picture me beside her / And pray that I’ll inspire”, it could be him thinking of Salem when he dies, and then praying that he’ll be able to inspire others to fight for humanity, for the light. 

I could see it either way, honestly, but no matter which it is, I love this song.

9. Fear

Initial thoughts: Fire whoever was in charge of sound mixing, otherwise, not as preachy as I was fearing.

This is actually the first time I’ve listened to this. I was pretty pissed at the ending of the finale so I didn’t stick around for the credits, and hearing that it was called “Fear”, I was not in the mood for more Ironwood bashing or “You’re just as bad as she is if you act in fear” or whatever BS Oscar said. So, yeah, wasn’t looking forward to this track.

Thankfully, though, it was not another War. I actually enjoyed the lyrics, and the music was top-notch. Don’t really have much more to say about it other than it was difficult to hear the lyrics over the music in some places, but that could be a factor of the video I was listening to. All in all, pleasantly surprised.

10. I May Fall (Acoustic)

Initial Thoughts: Can someone tell the Williams that “acoustic” doesn’t always mean “depressing?”

Like, acoustic doesn’t have to be a super slow, piano/strings, somber rendition, right? It’s just the instruments and the singer without any added computer editing/layering/whatever, if I’m not mistaken. That style of acoustic works alright with songs like Time to Say Goodbye, but not so well with more upbeat songs. This version isn’t bad, per se, but I’d like to see an acoustic version more in line with the original. 

That aside - the original I May Fall is my favorite RWBY song, bar none. This rendition was always going to be something I liked, and I do appreciate a lot about it. The strings are absolutely beautiful, particularly the cello(? I think, again, I’m not much of a music person, just have a sister that plays violin), and I love the way the violin/viola picks up for the second verse and gives the song a second wind, implying more strength and resolve. I love the music cutting out completely to let Casey sing, with the instruments slowly coming in to join as she gets louder and stronger, as if standing with her - beautiful, it’s all insanely beautiful, and this is one I will probably buy.

Closing Thoughts

This album was... average, to me. Only a couple songs really jumped out at me, while most were good, but not something I was dying to listen to again, or were dragged down by the context.

What’re your thoughts on this volume’s songs? I’d love to hear them! Until then, have a good evening, and stay safe!

[theotherboywhonevergrewup]

My Top Songs of 2019

It’s that time of the year again when I take a look back at all the great music that was released throughout the year and choose my top 10.  Quick disclaimer as usual: These are not what I think are the best songs of the year.  They’re not even my favorite songs of the year.  They’re simply the top 10 songs that have defined my year.  (See the end if you’re interested in the rules of the selection of this top 10; also, most of this was written in 2019 but some was written in 2020).

10. “Think About Us” - Little Mix featuring Ty Dolla $ign

“When you're dancin' in the club And the nights are getting hard Do you think about us?”

Everyone knows that I have a weakness for girl groups.  UK’s Little Mix isn’t exactly my favorite, but admire how strongly they’ve stuck together as a group.  Their chemistry is undeniable, both as people and as vocalists.  To me, “Think About Us” was the standout track from last year’s LM5, and the addition of Ty Dolla $ign was the little shove it needed to be great.  The girls shine with their vocal prowess both on their solos and together on the chorus, and Ty$’s verse splits the track nicely.  The accompanying video is mesmerizing.  Each of the girls look absolutely stunning, and they have individual sets representing the different parts of a relationship, with Perrie as the butterflies-in-my-stomach beginning and Jade as the icy, cold end.  The lyrics are quite vague, but I think that’s the intention.  It’s applicable to any stage of a relationship; it could be a love song or a break-up song.  With it’s fun beat, it’s hard to pick if you want to dance to it, belt it out, or try to do both, but it’s definitely been an infectious part of 2019!

9. “Lonely for You” - Armin van Buuren featuring Bonnie McKee

“No, you're never gonna see me cry I already got a brand new life Don't you know I'm moving on And everyday I'm stronger? I don't even know you're gone”

The Netherlands’ Armin van Buuren has a recipe to get trance music to pull at your heart, and one piece that makes this apparent is “Lonely for You.”  With the assist from US’s pop hit writer Bonnie McKee, this track is different yet familiar, a haunting disconnect to match the mixed feelings of the lyrics.  From light synths to disco-esque drums to pure piano, Van Buuren’s track pushes and pulls the same way the tumultuous narrator’s lyrics go back and forth, with McKee’s vocals surfing on the top.  The music video has a couple choreography emphasizing the push-and-pull theme, and McKee looks fantastic as usual.  Van Buuren’s Balance is full of more emotionally-rich tracks for both happy and sad times, many of which utilize beautiful piano to highlight amazing vocals.  “Lonely for You” is an altogether addictive track that was perfect for all the lonely nights of 2019.

8. “Antidote” - Mr Hudson

“You of all people After all we've been through Started out an angel And now you get away with murder”

As a huge fan of the UK’s Mr Hudson, I waited basically a decade for his sophomore album, and it did not disappoint.  While When the Machine Stops features several tearjerking songs, “Antidote” is on the next level.  The song takes the subject of betrayal and perfectly captures how trust can die.  The genius is in its simplicity.  Not a single instrument starts until the entire first verse is complete, letting the lyrics speak for themselves.  Even when the instruments do come in, it’s just soft percussion and synths.  As much as I love vocal runs and ad-libs galore, the straightforward melody had me humming this song for much of 2019.

7. “Me & You” - EXID

“Oh 야야야 더 이상 우리라는 말 하지 마마마 안 봐도 뻔하잖아 야임 마마마 지금 날 어디서 속이려 들어 그건 네 엄마마마 한테나 가서해 baby I don't care”

As I mentioned in last year’s post, 2018 was the year I fell in love with K-Pop, mostly due to Blackpink at the time.  As much as I love Blackpink (and got to see them live this year!), their limited discography didn’t leave much to be loved.  Enter EXID.  This group is stacked: arguably South Korea’s best female rapper in the game LE, one of the best vocalists Solji, and the girl who is absolutely beautiful, sexy, cute, and smart all at the same time Hani (who may or may not be my ultimate bias, sorry Rosé).  Their previous single “I Love You” missed my 2018 list because it was released so late in the year, but it turned out to be my most played song on Spotify this year.  In fact, several of their songs were on that list.  Like many of their previous singles, “Me & You” is an infectious dance track utilizing each member where they excel: Hani with her soft, sultry vocals, a splash of LE’s sick flows to split up the song, Hyelin’s powerhouse vocals to bring up the first chorus, Solji’s even more powerful vocals to take the song to its climax, and Jeonghwa on the dance break (low key kinda sounds like she’s singing “Baby Shark” but that’s a jam too I guess).  The duality of the track is what makes it stand out, with the pretty vocals and simple verses largely contrasting from the deep and dirtier synths of the dance break.  The video plays with this duality by featuring EXID as brides in white versus clubbing in neon.  The rest of the WE mini album isn’t quite as dance-y but is fun to vibe to nonetheless.  The group unfortunately may be over, since Hani and Jeonghwa are leaving their record label, but they’re at least sticking together for their activities in Japan for now.  So many more K-Pop hits were released this year, some of my favorites being Mamamoo’s “Gogobebe,” SEVENTEEN’s “HIT,” Super Junior D&E’s “Danger,” Park Bom’s “Spring,” KARD’s “Dumb Litty,” NCT 127′s “Highway to Heaven”, NCT Dream’s “Boom”, Ong Seongwu’s “Heart Sign,” and another release to be mentioned later on this list.

6. “Heartbreak” - Hunter Hayes

“Another, ‘Almost perfect’ Didn't work, but totally worth it Better to have loved and lost my mind Than lose the nerve to even try”

I remember watching the 2013 Grammy’s and watching Hunter Hayes lose all three of his nominations, at that point becoming the “Leonardo DiCaprio never wins an Oscar” meme to me and my friends.  He went on to lose two more nominations, but honestly, I always liked his music (and Grammy nominations are no small feat in the first place!).  While 2017 was technically the year I had my first date and 2018 was the year I had my first girlfriend, 2019 was the year that I really put myself out there and dated the most.  And yes, there was a lot of awkwardness and stupidity and mostly me messing up, but that’s just a part of life.  And “Heartbreak” perfectly captures all those feelings.  From the guitar to the bit of twang to the drums, this song is unabashedly fun country, and the optimistic lyrics always made me feel better.  It’s like a c’est la vie Rascal Flatts’ “Bless the Broken Road” before he found the girl. The accompanying video is also fun with a groundhog day theme as he tries to win over a girl.  The album as a whole is a fun listen, with “Dear God” being the other Wild Blue (Part I) standout to me.  Here’s hoping Part II comes out with some vibes in 2020!

5. “Tempo” - Lizzo featuring Missy Elliott

“He look like he could gain a little weight Lick the icing off, put the rest in your face”

Lizzo exploded this year, and I’m not mad about it.  She has confidence and charisma galore, and her resulting music is mad bouncy, earning her several Grammy nominations for next year, including Best New Artist.  Her songs like most of Cuz I Love You can be quite loud and in-your-face, which is fine, just not exactly my style.  However, get her on this more subdued R&B beat and throw in a Missy Elliott feature, I’m in.  This will make any upbeat R&B lover dance, and the music video is the kind of hot and fun you would expect (with a cowboy hat you may not expect).  Missy also made an imprint this year with Iconology which is her first group release since 2005′s The Cookbook.  I’ve always been a fan of her work, and this is a perfect feature for her.

4. “NONE of this has been about you” - Spencer Sutherland

“I'm afraid that you would hate me if you knew, That I've become insensitive, It's true, But even if you do”

Spencer Sutherland’s “NONE of this has been about you” off his debut EP of the same name has a lot of elements about it that I would personally want in a song of my own.  It starts off with a very simple piano and vocals with a tinge of soul.  As he continues to sing, he puts more soul and emotion into his voice, and splashes of harmonies start to come in.  A couple short riffs later and just a second before the drop.  Although, it’s not a dance drop.  A choir drops in for the chorus with some drums to announce that, in fact, none of this has been about you.  The song eventually escalates to Sutherland’s soaring ad-libs over the choir.  Beyond the musical stylings, I enjoy the message of this song.  Sure, the narrator is telling someone, possibly his lover, that his struggles are personal and not something she or he should worry about, but I also like to take it as a reminder not to always worry about others or what they are thinking.  For example, 2019 was the first full year I had an ex, and a lot of that time, I was worried about posting on social media because maybe she’ll think this or that is about her.  Honestly, I don’t recall ever “subtweeting” about her.  We’re good.  Any breakup song or black and white photo I post has nothing to do with her.  So this song is a nice reminder to keep it pushing and stay in your own lanes.  The remaining songs on Sutherland’s EP were all also on repeat throughout the year.  The man’s just got a solid voice, and I’m glad he’s continuing a soulful pop sound that is rarer than before.

3. “Beautiful goodbye” - Chen

“다시 시간을 되돌려 처음 만난다면 가로등 옆에 서 있지 말아요 미소 짓지도 왼손으로 머릴 넘기지 마요 그래야 내가 그대를 지나칠 테니까”

Now, when it comes to a piano and vocals, nothing dominated my year more than Chen, especially his debut solo single “Beautiful goodbye.”  I won’t repeat all the reasons why I love his voice so much (see last year’s post), but long story short, he’s my favorite male vocalist right now.  Don’t get me wrong, I love EXO and the energy they bring to their songs, but a full EP of just Chen really lets the listener feel his artistry, pulling on heartstrings every which way.  In this song, the narrator is recognizing that his relationship is dead but proposing that they can hold onto it just for a bit longer until they peacefully part in spring.  There’s a respect to their relationship and what it has done for them that they can take with them as separate people before they part ways.  Chen’s voice takes the listener on an adventure, starting soft and simple then escalating and crescendoing to unveil the hardened pain in his voice.  It’s not a sudden angry breakup, it’s more subtle and more somber.  In the end, his soft vibrato and the final notes of the piano leave the listener in just as an uncertain position as the narrator; is it better to hope it stays winter forever or hope for spring to come?  While I also wanted some upbeat songs from Chen, his April, and a flower EP followed by Dear my dear is chockfull of beautiful and emotional ballads.

2. “Never-ending Summer” - Cyn

“What if we don't ever have to say goodbye? I wanna keep living like we'll never die If you're mad then I'm mad too You're crying, I'm sad too I'll watch your back for you, watch mine”

Newcomer Cyn’s “Never-ending Summer” is, to me, an experience.  It took me a while to appreciate its simplicity, but then it became so addictive that it itself became never-ending.  The guitar or synth (or whatever that instrument is) plays on loop to emphasize the never-ending nature of the song and gives a dreamy vibe that’s somehow both modern and reminiscent of the 70s.  Cyn’s simple vocals evoke a carefree feeling reminiscent of running on the beach and all the accompanying imagery with her photoshoot and lyric video.  It makes sense that Cyn is part of Katy Perry’s record label Unsub Records, as this song feels somewhat like Perry’s hits off of Teenage Dream including “California Gurls” and the title track, albeit much more in Cyn’s own understated style.  This summer, I learned how to surf and have fallen deeper in love with the beach (even though a stingray stung me my last time there), and this song would keep the surfing mentality continuing throughout the year, even when it gets too cold for it to be summer (or, even if my foot is bleeding to death).  Doesn’t hurt that Cyn is unbelievably cute too.

1. “Lovebird” - Far East Movement featuring Lay

“I can sleep here alone, but you know it's better with you You could be by yourself, but you know it's better with two”

As I grow as a person and become more proud of who I am, I think it makes sense for me to become more proud of my Asian heritage as well as support Asians and Asian-Americans out there, especially in the music industry as music means a great deal to me.  That said, it’s important to me that I don’t support people just because they’re Asian as if it’s some kind of nepotism.  That kind of segregating mentality can also be unhealthy.  Far East Movement are technically a one hit wonder; they have yet to outdo their 2010 hit “Like a G6.”  However, this year I found out about their record label Transparent Music that has been around since 2016 with a goal of unifying eastern and western music.  Their previous album aptly named Identity features a ton of artists from both sides of the word, from Hyolyn and Loco to Macy Gray and Soulja Boy (shoutout to my favorite song on that album, “Freal Luv” featuring Tinashe and yet another EXO member, Chanyeol).  To me, music is about unification.  It is about bringing a deeper understanding through melody and rhythm.  Those are the simplest terms I can put it.  I hope this is evident through this list that I appreciate people and music from all kinds of backgrounds.  Even if my tastes lean one way or another from year to year, I hope my lists maintain diversity and well-roundedness.  Somehow, Far East Movement has managed to capture this sense of unification in “Lovebird,” featuring Chen’s EXO bandmate from China, Lay.  It’s not the most complex song; in fact, like many songs on this list, it’s quite simple.  The synth bends in a carefree way that celebrates togetherness along with the lyrics, and I find that beautiful.  2019 was a year of growth and life, and “Lovebird” was the perfect song to accompany it.

*To qualify for this list, the song must have been released this year.  An artist can only have one song on this list, excluding features.

[soft-slow-blue]

Thoughts on BtoB’s Special Album ‘Hour Moment’

Initial Thoughts

From first listen, this album sounds different from BtoB’s previous works. At first, I was a little worried that I wasn’t going to like this album because of that. Of course it was never going to sound exactly the same - BtoB’s exceptional vocal line is now short one member. Eunkwang’s voice has a very bright, distinct color that often lent richness and variation to BtoB’s songs; when he was absent for some of BtoB’s earlier stages, leaving Hyunsik or Changsub (both very talented vocalists in their own rights, so no shade) to cover his parts, it just didn’t sound quite as good.

Nevertheless, I think it would be unfair to say that this album is lacking just because Eunkwang is not a part of it past the first track. It took me a couple listens, but I’ve come to really appreciate the album and how Bto6 shifts their style to cover for Eunkwang’s absence, while still maintaining the signature BtoB sound that we’ve all come to know and love.

The remaining three members of vocal line have branched out past their usual roles - we’ve especially gotten to hear more of Hyunsik’s rich lower vocals (”Swimming,” anybody?) and Sungjae’s vocal accuracy. Changsub’s voice is probably my favorite out of all of vocal line, so I’m happy to hear him utilizing his full range as well, soaring in a way that is fully distinct from Eunkwang’s.

But it is rap line that really shines through. Without Eunkwang’s high-toned voice to flesh out vocal line, there was a possibility that BtoB’s songs would sound less full and rich. Rather than forcing the other three members to try and sing like Eunkwang, though, these new songs rely on rap line’s low tones, particularly Minhyuk and Ilhoon’s vocal abilities, to round out their sound. BtoB’s rap line, situated as it is in a prolific ballad group, has always benefited from the fact that their rappers can also perform as vocalists, keeping the switch from vocal to rap verses from feeling disjointed and allowing the rappers’ voices to blend really well with the vocalists’. As Ilhoon and Minhyuk blur the lines between their sung raps and their spoken raps, we also get to hear just how much Peniel has grown as an artist throughout BtoB’s career. He demonstrates such remarkable agility and versatility throughout the entire album, and best of all, he really sounds like he’s having a good time rapping. I. Am. So. Proud.

On to the individual tracks!

1. Friend

EUNKWANG WE MISS YOU T_T

Okay now that that’s out of the way...I found this to be the least interesting song on the album. Not because it’s a bad song! I love the fact that Eunkwang recorded it for us before he enlisted - it was such a wonderful gift for Melodies - and the song is upbeat and fun and I can already imagine BtoB and Melodies singing it together at future BtoB Time concerts. But the actual song itself contains no real surprises in terms of the composition. It’s a sweet little song and it’s distinct from all the other songs on this album, but I really don’t have much to say about it, other than that I wish Ilhoon would enunciate a little bit more because I keep hearing him say F-R-I-N-D lol.

2. Like It

When I first heard the audio preview for “Like It,” I thought it would probably be my least favorite track of the album, for the simple reason that I tend not to enjoy choruses that repeat the same phrase over and over.

Well, I was very wrong. Ilhoon, I will never doubt you again.

With its soft opening instrumentation - just a piano, playing a few gentle notes - “Like It” starts out sounding like it might be another ballad. The first verse is definitely balladic, taking full advantage of Hyunsik’s VERY LOVELY lower tone. Even as Changsub takes over from Hyunsik, the beat sort of sneaks in, staying minimal underneath a swimming instrumentation and dreamy vocals.

But then Ilhoon’s verse starts, the instrumentation drops out, and that minimal beat drives forward, fueled by the combination of Ilhoon’s rap-singing and Hyunsik’s higher vocals. By the time the pre-chorus hits, we know that we’re no longer in ballad territory - we’re in for some FUN.

I really like this song a lot. In many ways it reminds me of “Call Me” from their last album, but whereas “Call Me” was definitely a song for bright, sweltering summer days, “Like It” has solidly fall vibes. It makes me imagine going to a casual outdoor party on an autumn evening, when it’s not too cold but is cool enough to still drink hot cocoa and spiced cider. As it gets darker, the hosts turn on little fairy lights that are strung all over, illuminating everyone’s happy, laughing faces in a soft yellow glow. Man, do I just have an overactive imagination, or is Ilhoon really THAT GOOD at making a mood with his music?

Also can I just say I am LOVING how many parts Sungjae has now, and his vocalization during the pre-chorus is one of my favorite things on the whole album. Can you believe he started out as a sub-sub-vocal in the group...our baby grew up so fast. *sheds tear*

3. 나비 (Butterfly)

After two upbeat songs, it’s time to chill out. “Butterfly” sounds like “Nanana”’s more romantic cousin. Ilhoon’s skill at creating vivid atmospheres through his music shines through really well in this song - with the gentle acoustic guitar and vocal line’s floating vocals (Changsub you are making me fall in love!), you can really imagine sitting under a tree on a clear autumn day, watching the orange and red leaves wave gently in a cool breeze.

The minimal instrumentation on this song is such a change from the rest of the songs on this album, which generally have much richer instrumentation and more driving beats. It’s a chance for vocal line to display just how they skilled they are. We already know that all four of them can hit some pretty powerful high notes, but “Butterfly” requires control rather than power, and Changsub, Hyunsik, and Sungjae perform admirably. It results in such a lovely and intimate song, more like something you’d hear in a cozy cafe than something sung onstage by idols. My guess is that if BtoB perform this in future concerts, it’ll probably be with all of the members seated on stools, as a much-needed break in between more rigorous dance numbers lol.

This song also made me realize that we don’t often hear the rappers one after another on verses - usually they alternate with the vocalists - but here they are, performing three rap verses in a row. And they manage to sound so completely distinct and yet in sync with the vocalists that their raps don’t feel out of place in such a soft acoustic song. First, Minhyuk essentially whispers into our ears (someone please explain to me how someone who has such a low rap tone can also make such high-pitched squealing noises). When Peniel takes over, he’s also rapping lower than usual, but not in a way that makes him sound like he’s trying to imitate Minhyuk. It’s sweet and almost conversational, perfectly aligned with the rest of the song.

Then Ilhoon pretty much straight sings his verse. When is he going to convert to vocal line lol

4. 제발 (Please)

Minhyuk has always composed some really solid tracks for BtoB (Open, About Time, Guitar, Blue Moon), but I think the reason that he is less recognized by the general public as one of BtoB’s composers, in comparison to Hyunsik and Ilhoon, is that his style tends to lean more alternative and R&B. It makes for some surprising and beautiful B-sides within the albums, but doesn’t necessarily fit the more mainstream pop sound that’s necessary for a commercially successful title track.

“Please” is the most mainstream-sounding of all Minhyuk’s songs, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. This is definitely a power ballad, and I feel like if it hadn’t been for “Friend,” this would have been a very strong contender for the pre-release track, if not for the title. Minhyuk managed to compose something titled “Please” that actually sounds like it’s pleading throughout the whole song - unfortunately it’s been years since I last took music theory so I can’t 100% articulate how he managed it, but I suspect it has something to do with how the chord progressions in the chorus resolve.

Vocal line totally KILL it throughout this track. After the relative atmospheric quiet of “Butterfly,” they bring back the power in full, tempering it with genuine longing that conveys the sadness of the song, even if you don’t understand the lyrics. The way that “please” just lingers after each iteration of the chorus...you can feel the desperation of reaching out one last time to someone you love more than anything, driving you forward to plead for one last moment together even when you know it’s already over. The key change in the final chorus just underscores that despair, winding the emotional tension even higher (along with that rad electric guitar solo lol), until Hyunsik’s final resonant “please” resolves into Changsub’s voice, reprising his verse from the beginning.

Even after all of that heartfelt begging, feeling like you’re cutting your chest open and showing the person you love the hole that they’ll leave in your heart when they’re gone, knowing that they’re the only one for you, in this lifetime and every one that follows...the time to say goodbye has come after all.

Goddamn. This song really affected me a lot. I was actually going to write more about rap line and how good they sound in this (especially Ilhoon), but I was swept up in the raw emotionality of this song. This one���s going into the top five for sure.

5. 아름답고도 아프구나 (Beautiful Pain)

Our title track! I was actually pretty surprised when I heard this one on the audio snippet - I thought it sounded really sad for a title track. Of course, we know that Hyunsik-composed songs are rarely without some melancholy element, but this one is really quite dark, both in terms of lyrical content and sound.

When I tried to think of similar songs, my mind went first, funnily enough, to “I’ll Be Your Man.” Though the songs don’t necessarily sound too much alike - “Beautiful Pain” is another power ballad, while “I’ll Be Your Man” is certainly not - they both have a dark and dramatic tone that BtoB doesn’t cover quite as often.

It took me several listens to fully appreciate the song and how good it is. The more layered instrumentation lends the song a fullness that helps to distinguish it despite Eunkwang’s absence, particularly in the choruses. It’s a subtler, darker richness, which fits well with the dramatic subject of the song. There are so many things I picked out that I love. Ilhoon’s rap singing, for example (again, when is he going to become the fifth member of vocal line?). The little cracks in Changsub’s voice (intentional for once lol) that sound like sobs as he sings. The way that Minhyuk’s rap builds as if about to explode, then lingers on the wistful final line. Hyunsik showing off his magnificent lower range, soft and whispery with pain and resignation, as he sings the chorus one octave lower than the rest.

In the second pre-chorus, the harmony between Hyunsik and Sungjae...omg. I don’t know that the two of them often harmonize together in OT7 songs - usually it’s Changsub or Eunkwang singing the higher harmony - but they should really do it more often. Their voices have rather similar timbres, especially in the lower, more resonant ranges, so they blend together so nicely. I could honestly listen to that part over and over again lol.

Overall, this may not be my favorite track on the album, but it is a very solid song and definitely a good one to listen to on a cold autumn night, when you wrap yourself up in a blanket and stare out the window at the rain, turning memories of a lost loved one over and over in your mind even though it hurts to do so. I’d like to think that Hyunsik would agree with me on that one.

Final Thoughts

I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it! Of course I don’t think I’m ever going to truly dislike a BtoB album, but I’m just so impressed with how versatile our boys are and how good they sound on this album. We feel Eunkwang’s absence but not as a detractor from the really excellent music - the other members step up so brilliantly. Our leader would be (and probably is, because he’s the best) so proud.

What I realized throughout the course of listening to this album over and over and writing this post (thank you if you’ve read to the end lol) is that the whole album is the story of a relationship. The closeness of a beloved friend; the joy of realizing that you’re falling in love with the other person and the giddiness of imagining the future; the tenderness of a budding relationship; the desperation of trying to hold onto someone who is slipping through your fingertips; and the final bittersweet feeling of knowing that it’s over but that you would never give up those memories, even though it hurts to remember. It’s such a good balance of songs and reminds everyone that BtoB is a top-notch group, no matter how many members they have.

All I have left to say is: when is Minhyuk going to get his title track????

[pervitiini]

Top 3 eurobeat songs per season of Initial D.

This has been in my askbox forever, sorry about that. I decided to be sneaky and did not include my all time favourites I listed in this reply in order to have more space to share my other favourites, hehe. Here they are (under read-more):

1st stage

3. Dave Rodgers - SpaceboyAt first I did not plan to include Spaceboy at all but when I waded through all favourite candidates, I ended up listening to it anyways and a wave of so strong feel of nostalgia washed over me that I realized that I just cannot leave it out. Spaceboy was one of the first eurobeat songs I heard after Touhou eurobeat and Initial D’s opening scene is legendary; the song is simply iconic. The song reminds me of many happy memories :’)

2. Niko - Night Of FireThis one was difficult. For a long time I kept Get Me Power on the list instead of Night Of Fire because it has such a cool intro but… in the end it was the nostalgia (and meme) value of Night Of Fire that changed my mind. A true classic.

1. Mr. Groove - Night & Day“I don’t know what I am doing –”Surprise, it’s a song from Takumi vs Ryosuke race but not Beat Of The Rising Sun like one could have expected.

2nd stage

3. Derreck Simons - Station To Station2. Mega NRG Man - Burning Desire1. Derreck Simons - Make My Day

Second Stage top 3 seems to consist purely of Tomas Martin’s songs. Anyways, what all these songs have in common is a combination of very nice synth sounds and jumpy eurobeat-typical bassline, an upbeat and moving rhythm, clear melodic vocal parts and that they are catchy af (especially Burning Desire). Distortion guitar sounds and modulations are also musical turn-ons.

Battle Stage

3. J. Storm - Dancin’ in My DreamsThis is on the list purely because of its shock value. I had not heard Fabio Lione singing eurobeat before listening to this one and I will never forget the exact moment when I recognized his voice.

2. Mega NRG Man - Express Love“Express love / And I cry (die) for you tonite / And I’m dying (crying) but you, you give an / Express love”I just love how the lyrics are desperate but the melody is catchy and jumpy riffs are even slightly goofy :D Gotta love eurobeat.

1. Max Coveri - Golden AgeCatchy. Lyrics are kind of nonsense (typical eurobeat) but they give these very cool “90s cyberfuture utopia” vibes.

3rd stage

3. Michael Beat - Kiss Me GoodbyePurely because of intro and synth riff.

2. The Spiders From Mars - Fly To Me To The Moon And BackKind of adorable song with a nice intro and jumpy riffs.

1. Dave Rodgers - The Race Is OverMy favourite ending along with Rage Your Dream and Gamble Rumble (using 3rd stage’s opening as Final stage’s ending was literally the best idea).

4th stage

3. Manuel - On My WingsFav boy had to be on the list.2. Dave Rodgers - EldoradoThis one has a very generic eurobeat song structure but it works damn well. Transitions between parts are noticeable but smooth. I like dem harmonies. (In addition, guitar solos sound exactly what they should sound like in a Dave Rodgers song.)1. Dave Rodgers - Wild Reputation (2005)Dave Rodgers sounds amazing in this one. I like lyrics and how the song is more atmospheric and in some way more emotional than generic eurobeat.(4th stage was one of the hardest ones, so many good songs…)

Battle Stage 2

3. Mega NRG Man - Back On The RocksI am a thot for songs that use melodies from classical music and Toccata and Fugue in D minor is also The Official Skyline Theme Song, enough said. (However, on a separate note I must say that I am disappointed that the anime does not feature Bach is Back. It would have been perfect for Fifth Stage’s fav R32 asshole. Eh, back to the list.)

2. Manuel - Sun In The Rain Somehow a very energizing song; puts me in a bit better mood right away.1. Ace - Futureland Classic. Clear melody lines and catchy rhythms combined with visionary and escapist lyrics justifies its top position.

Extra Stages

(I got informed that extra stages count as one season.)3. Paul Harris - Everybody’s Looking2. Michiko Neya & Yumi Kakazu - Impact Blue1. Michiko Neya & Yumi Kakazu - Wings Of FireMaybe a predictable list but when talking about Extra Stages, Impact Blue and Wings of Fire just have to be there.

Fifth Stage

3. Dave Rodgers - The Race Of The NightEurobeat songs about cars and racing always have a special place in my heart and this one is especially clever.(Also fav boys’ song –)2. Jager - I Won’t Fall ApartEurobeat itself is a rather homogenous genre (lyrics are often about same subjects, songs have similar structures, synth sounds are alike…) so it is nice to have artists who have their own easily recognized style. Jager, along with several other artists, is one of them. Lyrics in this one are powerful and more serious than eurobeat lyrics in general.

1. Dejo & Bon - WheelPower & GoCan I just say that I love this song? It is everything I wish from a eurobeat song. Having heard intro’s car noises and sick guitar solo, I was already smitten. And then the bass and synth parts kicked in and it became even better. The lyrics are absolutely one of my all time favourites and combined with guitar, strong bass and just wonderful synth parts really captures that excited racing feeling fraught with adrenaline. (A guaranteed-speeding-ticket song)

Final Stage

3. David Dima - Dancing On The StreetThe choice between Magic Sunday and Dancing On The Street was tough. I guess the decisive attribute for choosing Dancing On The Street was plainly all those good memories I associate with the song (hehe). An energetic, feel-good song.2. Dave Rodgers - 1 FireIt is a funny association but the intro always gives me Rammstein vibes (must be synth riff’s scale and sound and lyrics about fire). Anyways, dramatic riffs fit “the final boss battle” excellently.1. Nuage - Crazy Little LoveIconic.

Thanks for the ask, Honey ;D

[disappearingground]

Jenny Lewis Starts Over

Rolling Stone March 5, 2019

After saying goodbye to her mother and a 12-year relationship, an indie-rock icon finds a new clarity in art and life

By Jonah Weiner

There are 19 white stickers arranged across Jenny Lewis’ fridge. Each one carries a stamped date, the logo of Providence Holy Cross Medical Center, the word VISITOR and, in Lewis’ handwriting, a different beguiling little phrase: I taught him how to 2-step; Rosey posey put your snake finger on; You are a sunshine in a fruit. “Every day that I visited my mom in the hospital,” Lewis says, “I’d get one of these and write down something she’d say to me. She got more and more psychedelic as we kept upping the meds, and she’d say the most amazing things.” Lewis points at one — Glue me to the ceiling so you never leave — and sighs. “She had liver cancer. From untreated hepatitis C. She was a lifelong heroin addict and also mentally ill and . . . just a really sad situation.”

It’s a drizzly evening in early January, and Lewis is at her home in Los Angeles, drinking gamay wine and discussing things she’s never discussed publicly before. Some listeners over the years may have noticed scattered allusions in her songs to her mother’s troubles and the painful outlines of their relationship. In 2002, on an early album by her first band, Rilo Kiley, she described a mother who was “insane and high.” In 2006, on her debut solo album, Rabbit Fur Coat, she sang, “Where my ma is now, I don’t know/She was living in her car, I was living on the road/And I hear she’s putting that stuff up her nose.” But Lewis has always been careful to let these lyrics speak mostly for themselves. When people ask about them, she’s frequently emphasized that the line between memoir and fiction in her songwriting is a slippery one. “Sometimes I don’t even remember what actually happened,” she says now, “and the song takes on its own life.”

On Lewis’ new record, On the Line, her mother appears again. This time she is in a hospital bed “under a cold white sheet,” and there’s no fiction at work. The earliest sticker on the fridge is dated August 20th, 2017, and by the end of October, at age 70, Linda Lewis was dead.

“We were estranged for 20 years, so this was the first time we’d hung out in two decades,” the 43-year-old singer-songwriter continues. “She was very sick, but I think she held on so we could have time to reconcile, and it created an opportunity for forgiveness. She didn’t have to say, ‘I’m so sorry’ —she said it by saying, ‘You’re a sunshine in a fruit.’ That was her way of saying ‘I love you.’ ”

Lewis started out as a kid actor, appearing on Eighties-era sitcoms like Life With Lucy, opposite Lucille Ball, and in movies like Troop Beverly Hills and The Wizard, opposite Fred Savage. By her twenties she’d all but quit acting and become a burgeoning indie-rock icon instead, known for her clarion voice, her killer ear for melody and her knack for evocative storytelling in a tweaked Americana style. Whereas Lewis’ last musical project, an ad hoc collaboration from 2016 called Nice as Fuck, was stripped down and upbeat, On the Line contains the most lush and melancholy music she’s ever made. The album has a grand rock sound — stately pianos, swelling strings, fuzzy electric guitar. Lewis cut its 11 songs at the venerable Capitol Studios in L.A. over just a few days last year, but she began writing them in this house in 2014, not long before her 12-year relationship with the Scottish-American musician Johnathan Rice deteriorated. She finished writing them after her bedside reconciliation with her mom.

Lewis gives the fridge a final look before turning out of the kitchen. “I wonder how long I’ll leave these up here,” she says.

Addiction, sobriety and self‑medication are running themes throughout On the Line. There are references to red wine, weed, grenadine, heroin, bourbon, Paxil, Marlboros, cognac, Candy Crush and, on the song “Party Clown,” a hallucinogenic Fuji apple. “Somehow I think the worst one of them all is Candy Crush,” Lewis says with a grin. “My mom started taking heroin when I was two or three, probably. So, growing up like that, there’s a realization that nothing is for free, and everything catches up with you — if you try to numb out, eventually you’re gonna have to face whatever it is you’re running away from.” She pauses. “I don’t have any judgment about it. Even with my mom: She did whatever she had to do, and she wasn’t able to kick it. Most people don’t make it out of heroin addiction. I don’t really blame her for it.”

Wine in hand, wearing a satiny cowgirl shirt and a bandanna tied around her neck that’s nearly the same shade of red as her hair, Lewis shows me around the house. Situated near leafy Laurel Canyon, it was built by a Disney animator in the Forties, and his touch is everywhere — delicate, hand-painted flowers on a wall here, trompe l’oeil flagstones on the floor there. In the living room a projector is playing the X-rated 1968 film The Girl on a Motorcycle, which stars Marianne Faithfull and is alternatively titled Naked Under Leather. Lewis has been on a leather kick recently, she says, showing me a photo-heavy 1977 book called Hard Corps: Studies in Leather and Sadomasochism that she recently scored on eBay. “I keep my whips and chains out in the pool house,” she says with a cackle.

Off the living room is the wood-paneled chamber where Lewis rehearses and writes. There’s a drum kit, a Wurlitzer organ and a little gas stove in the corner. Outside, near the pool, there’s a koi pond and a rose garden, all of it put in by the animator. Down the hall, there’s a roller-derby-themed pinball machine from around 1990 that periodically flashes the words WINNERS DON’T DO DRUGS in LED lights. Opposite the pinball is an enormous old promotional cutout for The Wizard, depicting Savage as an adolescent wearing a Nintendo Power Glove and an adolescent Lewis in acid-washed denim overalls. “This was at the movie theater in Van Nuys where I grew up — my mom made me go in and ask for it,” Lewis says. “My sister had it in storage, then had it framed for me and rented a truck to bring it over here. I wasn’t OK with this for many years, because early on in the history of my band, people would yell video-game references at me from the crowd. Now I just can’t believe that this is part of my weird story.”

She says she loved being on Hollywood sets as a kid, for complicated reasons. “I guess I liked being in that environment because it wasn’t home — it was this pretend-family vibe. My dad wasn’t around, so every time I got a job I kind of fell in love with ‘my father’ on set. I would just want that relationship.” (Her real-life dad, a musician named Eddie Gordon, was absent for most of her life, though he came back into Lewis’ orbit shortly before his own death, playing harmonica on her second solo album, 2008’s Acid Tongue.) Lewis’ off-set life in that era was consistently chaotic: “I think my mother was selling coke in the early Eighties,” she says. “She may have been Ricky Nelson’s dealer. And she was using the money I was making and parlaying it into her business. I’d come home from school and there’d be racks of fur coats, Krugerrands, boxes of Vuarnet sunglasses. All these bulk items in the house, drugs cooking on the stove, people coming in and out. Really interesting characters. I remember we had a Honda Civic, and one day it disappeared. Years later, I learned that someone had torched it as a warning to my mom. There was crazy shit going on.”

Lewis says that her elder sister, Leslie, became something like a proxy mother to her in their actual mother’s stead, and when Jenny co-founded Rilo Kiley with some L.A. buddies in the late Nineties, “that was my first chosen family.” Over the years she’d host jam sessions at home, inviting over members of like-minded acts such as Haim, Dawes and Conor Oberst, here and elsewhere in L.A. “I’ve always brought that jam vibe with me wherever I go,” Lewis says. “I feel compelled to play music, to play with people, or I’ll go crazy.”

In 2015, having split up with Rice for reasons we don’t get into, Lewis went to New York, crashing at the empty apartment of her friend Annie Clark, a.k.a. St. Vincent. “I couldn’t stay in this house,” Lewis says. “Johnathan and I were basically married. When you’re with someone that long, you share consciousness with them. I didn’t finish any of my stories — Johnathan finished every story for me. So part of the reason I went to New York was to find my inner monologue. I wanted to know what that voice was.”

The result, some three years later, is On the Line. Lewis made it with a particularly impressive surrogate family whose members included not only Beck and Ryan Adams, with whom she’d worked before, but also an older generation of studio pros: Rolling Stones producer Don Was, Heartbreakers keyboardist Benmont Tench, session drummer Jim Keltner (sideman for John Lennon, Bob Dylan and Steely Dan) and — to her delight and surprise — Ringo Starr. “He was cool — he just showed up one day with a smoothie and did double-drums with Jim on two songs,” Lewis says, adding that she’s not totally sure why the former Beatle came aboard. “I think Don Was showed him some of the songs, invited him to come down, and he was into it.”

[Editors’ note: This story went to press before the February 13th publication of a New York Times report on accusations of sexual misconduct by Ryan Adams. In a February 15th tweet, Lewis made the following statement: “I am deeply troubled by Ryan Adams’ alleged behavior. Although he and I had a working professional relationship, I stand in solidarity with the women who have come forward.”]

A decade-plus into her solo career, Lewis found herself trying new things in the studio. Keeping things spontaneous was a priority: She recorded all her vocal tracks live while playing her instruments, rather than tracking them in later. When Beck inserted a bit of placeholder Auto-Tune on a song called “Little White Dove,” Lewis decided she loved it and kept it in unchanged. (It reminded her of the Detroit rapper DeJ Loaf, whose single “Try Me” Lewis adores.) When it came to mixing, she says she took inspiration from Kanye West’s Ye — clearing out the midrange, focusing on the low end and the highs.

She sits on an oversize armchair in her living room and looks around the house. These days she splits time between L.A. and Nashville, where she jams with a whole other group of friends, including Karen Elson. Three years since her breakup, Lewis says, “I know how to take care of myself. It’s been really lonely, and really hard at times, and to go through the stuff with my mom alone—”

She starts to cry, untying her neckerchief and using it to blot her tears. “This is why I wear a bandanna,” she jokes. “But that’s the thing: I had to visit her, then come home and be alone and process my life with her.”

On the wall in front of her, Marianne Faithfull is making love to Alain Delon, but Lewis isn’t paying attention. “Life is crazy, but it’s incredible,” she goes on. “How amazing to see someone pass over. It’s magical. It’s the most intimate. It’s like a poem, and you don’t know the last line until you get there. But you show up.”

[popmusicu]

Are you sad? Do you want something new to listen to match your mood? Well, I have the saddest McFly songs just for you.

Hi everyone!

So, I was just chilling yesterday, and I was thinking about my next and last post. I remembered that in one class we talked about listening to music depending on our moods and having especial music to listen while we are having a strong emotion, especially when we are feeling a bit ~depressed~. I started thinking; hm, what do I listen to when I’m sad? The first artist I though about was Taylor Swift, because, as we all now, she’s the queen of break up and heartache songs.

But then, I started to think that it’s the most popular choice because of the amazing ability that queen Tay-Tay has for storytelling. So, I looked within and back to my teenage past asking myself what are the songs that you listen, and they make you want to crawl into bed and cry and feel angry about the world? After a lot of though, it hit me. There’s an outstanding, astonishing, and talented pop-rock band that’s making its comeback this year: McFly. They’re an amazing British band with four members (Tom Fletcher, Dougie Poynter,  Danny Jones and Harry Judd) and they have a lot of songs that represent (with its sound and lyrics) the teen angst, misery, heartache, spite, and rage that we feel when we are sad. Also, they are, with the Jonas Brothers, my favorite bands. I just love them with all my heart.  

So, if you ever feel sad, or angry, or both, you don’t know what to listen to and you don’t want to come back to the same sad music you always hear, I recommend you take a listen to this songs because damn, I’ve sung them at the top of my lungs and I’ve cried so hard while listening to them lying on my bed, it’s almost therapeutic. Here we go!

She Left Me – Album: Room on the 3rd Floor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcKdMeoLDko

This one’s about a breakup, when you can’t believe the other person left you and you’re really miserable and in denial about it, leaving messages, visiting them at their house, etc., because you know you want them back, but they tell you you’ll be okay on your own.

The Ballad of Paul K – Album: Wonderland.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxFhTe4peFM

This song is about a person that got older and life has been unkind to him, he’s lonely and sad, he feels like he has nothing else to do. Like when you look on the mirror when you’re feeling blue and you think “what am I doing with my life”, and also you feel like time’s not on your side.

Too Close for Comfort – Album: Wonderland.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUH42qHeZsg

OMG THIS SONG, I’m listening while I write this, and I already feel like crying. It’s a song about not knowing what you did wrong in a past relationship, being full of regret because you hurt the other person and reminiscing about the good times you had together. PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS SONG, IT’S A CATHARTIC EXPERIENCE.

She Falls Asleep (part 1 and 2)– Album: Wonderland.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcsFlNB55V4

I’m just realizing this album has really sad songs. I don’t want to say too much about it because it’s a GORGEOUS song and I want you to listen to it without any previous judgement or history. It’s almost a cinematographic experience. It originally has two parts but I’m going to link the video that merged both. 

Bubble Wrap – Album: Motion in the Ocean.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaE5ziR4BNE

This one has mixed feelings in it: it combines rage, spite, pettiness, and sadness. It’s about breaking up with someone, being ANGRY because of how that person made you feel awful and broken and trying to get over them. It’s some sort of confrontational song to this person that broke your heart, with lyrics like “Who do you think you are to cry? This is goodbye” or “You’re standing in moonlight, but you’re black on the inside”.

Lonely – Album: Motion in the Ocean.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PStwJED8mtw

This song is about, you guessed it, feeling lonely. But feeling lonely after a breakup you loved a lot and missing them and wanting them back. It has more of an upbeat rhythm, but the lyrics are :(.

Walk on the Sun – Album: Motion in the Ocean.

Dang, this song makes me want to crawl into bed on a cold day. I don’t really know how to describe it. I’d say it’s about wondering about the future, and how amazing or sad it will be, and how long are we gonna live in this crazy world. But then feeling like, I really don’t know where I’m going or where I’m going to be in the future, but I’ll focus on this walk on the sun.

Point of View – Album: Radio:Active.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS-jKy03oHU

Now that I think about, it has a similar vibe to Bubble Wrap. It’s about looking back at a past relationship and being like ok, it’s definitely over, but thinking about it from a different perspective in which you aren’t the villain. It has some amazing lyrics filled with rage and repent, like, “I don’t know how the hell I fell in love with you”.

The End – Album: Radio:Active.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWo2f0j-7SA

I was hesitant about putting this one because it’s not one of my favorites, but it has some ~melancholy~ that made it earn it place on this list. It’s about knowing there’s an end to things, but not wanting to know what comes next.

That’s the Truth – Album: Radio:Active.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xA3tHGWbuF4

Ugh. This song. It’s based on the relationship Dougie had with one of her ex-girlfriends. I never understood fully of what is it about, but I interpret it like when you are in a relationship and the other person’s making you feel like you did something wrong, and you don’t what it is, so you find yourself in the scenario where you have to prove your love to that person, and you feel like you have to defend yourself. It also makes me sad because in that era, Dougie was having a really hard time with depression and drug abuse. My baby :(

Welp. That’s everything I have. There are more sad songs by McFly, but I just added the ones I listen to when I feel blue (because I feel they have that ~spice~ that makes them really cathartic). Also, they just released their sixth studio album as McFly, and it’s amazing, so I suggest you go and check it out. 

This is my last post and I just wanna say I had the greatest time making them. I wanted to close with one of my favorite bands and a mood playlist. I've loved this CFG so far, so I'm really happy with my posts <3 #StreamYoungDumbThrills

Love, Liz Suárez. 

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week thirty-eight

takin’ some time to think ‘bout the songs what all debuted on billboard between on 27 september 1997, 29 september 2007, and 30 september 2017

spoiler this is extra salty, hoo boy pop music is bad and no one should like it

9.27.1997

2) "4 Seasons of Loneliness," by Boyz II Men

Yep. Yep, this is a '90s R&B slo jamz. Just a bunch of dudes singing gently about how epic and powerful some feeling is -- in this case, loneliness, which, if you were not aware, is the opposite of love. See, what makes loneliness so fascinating is, when you're in love, you're a two, right? But when you're an alone, you're a one. And if you're a one for long enough, you will eventually be alone through all four of the seasons -- winter, spring, summer, and of course, faultumln. What a brilliant job Boyz II Men do of portraying what it would be like to be single for a year.

29) "Everything," by Mary J. Blige

This is like a '90s R&B dude song from the female song. "You are my trusted friend/On you I can depend." First off, way not to end the lyric with a preposition, but also, I think I've heard that "friend/depend" from 1997 R&B dudes at least 20 times. "It never occurred to me the first time I saw your face/I would fall so deep in love, that your love can't be replaced." Face/Replace sounds new? But I wouldn't be surprised if it popped up here and there across '90s R&B. This is a bit bouncier and more upbeat than the R&B dude fare -- it's not overdramatic, it's Mary J. Blige revelling in love, so at least it has that going for it. It just doesn't feel like its own thing.

79) "Don't Go," by Le Click ft./Kayo

How come people who make dance music are so shitty at making hot dance tracks? Like, every EDM song in 2017 sounds like the apocalypse, and every dance song from 1997 is the saddest goddamned thing I've ever heard. "Don't go, my feeling can't be wrong." Now urrbody in the club gettin' desperate. Like what even is this, why are we putting this song in front of that "I'm Too Sexy" beat I can't stop hearing because Tay Tay ruined everything, why, why.

88) "Off the Books," by The Beatnuts ft./Big Punisher & Cuban Link

You know what, I didn't mind them. Everyone rapped well, and I appreciated a look at a life of crime that wasn't about drugs. You can also evade taxes, or launder money! Those are less fun crimes to commit than drugs, but they do the trick if you're out of drugs. I don't know how much of this song actually invovled money laundering, I just know the hook was "ain't nothin' but crooks in here/gettin' mad money off the books in here," and the song wasn't really worth paying attention to, so I'm just sort of hoping it was about the intricacies of money laundering.

90) "Love Is Alive," by 3rd Party

So OK this is just basic Euro stupidity CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING AMAZON AD. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING AMAZON AD WHERE THE DOG WISHES IT COULD TALK TO THE HUMAN. What even is the song they use in that ad? How did they find it? Like did they commission a song specifically for that ad? That song had to be written for the ad. They filmed and edited the ad, went to a coffee shop three blocks from the office, and asked people to take two minutes to write a song about a dog that wishes it could talk to humans. It's the worst goddamn song in the world and I have to hear it 20 times a week until the ad campaign is over because of this stupid fucking thing I'm doing. That's not fair. That's not fair! Why would you increase the degree of difficulty? I know it's late in the game, it's not supposed to be easy, but you're supposed to let me win. "I wish I could ask you how was your day." YOU'RE A DOG. YOU WISH FOR MEATS, AND THE DAY YOU DIE WILL BE THE HAPPIEST BECAUSE THAT IS THE DAY YOU GET TO HAVE A CHOCOLATE SOMETHING.

9.29.2007

14) "Good Life," Kanye West ft./T-Pain

This song is ridiculous because Kanye eventually is inspired by T-Pain to use Auto-tune on himself and makes three miserable masterpieces that affect pop/hip-hop for a decade, and this song is like the bounciest most triumphant thing off Graduation. Like you can trace a direct line from this song, with its jubilant T-Pain line and that delightful "more ass than the models" drop, to Lil Uzi Vert, who makes boring songs about how dark his mind is.

61) "1, 2, 3, 4," Feist

For some reason the top YouTube search result for this song is not this song, but rather the Plain White T's song. I hate that this is my algorithm. Also we talked about lineages, and we talked about the Amazon ad, and you can draw a direct line from this song's surprising rise to popularity to that goddamned Amazon ad. We made a folksy indie artist popular, and a decade later, we have a folksy indie-sounding song about a dog staring at a human and saying "UNDERSTAND ME! WHY?????" Like I'm listening to this song, and I'm no longer hearing the Apple ad, I'm hearing Linda from corporate's ringtone, because Linda from corporate downloaded the song from the Amazon ad. "It makes me so happy when the puppy talks to the baby!" Guys I'm not well.

86) "Inconsolable," Backstreet Boys

I feel like I'm on the precipice of an amazing joke or insight but all my brain is doing is staring at the words "Twenty years of not understanding why they keep giving AJ solos." Hey you wanna hear something bonkers? Two of the Backstreet Boys hadn't turned 30 when this song had been released. How the fuck are you gonna be in your late 20s and making adult contemporary jams. How is your life this over before you're at least 32. Also one of the Backstreet Boys was 36 in 2007. Sir, you are a Backstreet Man. I don't know what your problems are, but I can see you have several.

88) "Do It," Nelly Furtado

I mean, it exists. Like it just sort of starts, and then it doesn't stop. I felt like I was listening to this song for 1000 years because it just kept saying "do it like you do it to me." Except like I'd imagine this person is doing it to Nelly Furtado, so I guess I just don't understand why she wouldn't just urge him to keep doin' it? But then the song just faded out, and I'm just here like, did I actually listen to something? Was I supposed to hear a story, is this, is this a rough draft? Did they intend on polishing this before the release? "So you released the album before you finished the last track! Big deal! Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has those days, as we are fond of saying in 2007! But we will be releasing this as a single so the whole world can hear what a bad job you did."

93) "I'm So Hood," DJ Khaled ft./T-Pain, Trick Daddy, Rick Ross & Piles

Oh, DJ Khaled group cuts, at least you're never awful. You might only whelm, and I might think Piles is just an absolute zero of a person, but it's typically pleasant to hear you when you appear. DJ Khaled: not the worst since 2007.

94) "Sweetest Girl (Dollar Bill)," Wyclef Jean ft./Akon, Lil' Wayne & Niia

This would be a really touching song if it sounded like anyone on this track had spent time thinking about what it means to be a sex worker. Like I'm not tryna get all tumblr here, it's just, there's so many societal forces which combine to force someone into stripping, and these dudes are just like, "She used to be so nice! Such a shame she's doing this thing. Stupid money!" Like no there's so much more to it than that. But I'm also not sure Lil Wayn is in tune with the day's social issues. Also, heck is Lil Wayn doing on this song? It kind of feels like Lil Wayn was 100% on board with strip clubs for most of his career. This song is an outlier. I don't think Lil Wayne really think it's a tragedy when someone turns to stripping.

95) "My Drink n' My 2 Step," Cassidy ft./Swizz Beatz

This song is surprisingly good and I'm actually angry that the song I think of when I think of Cassidy is "Hotel" and not this jam. Cassidy's pretty much a one-hit wonder, but this should've been the hit.

96) "Firecracker," Josh Turner

This is a cute song and Josh Turner hits some gonzo low notes, but mostly I'm now obsessed with this idea of some country dude at some point calling his dick a firecracker. Like, I think it's nice he's calling his girl a firecracker, but there's gotta be a country dude somewhere making a joke about "don't get hurt holdin' my firecracker!" right? Or maybe we could use the Southern man's propensity for getting himself injured playing with firecrackers as a euphemism for masturbation. I dunno. I'm ready to move on, but if anyone wants to start making a bro country album with me, I am willing to chase this dog.

99) "Me Enamora," Juanes

This kind of sounds like the fun Latin song on a 2016 Backstreet Boys album. Like, it just doesn't sound as fun or as exotic as the Latin pop explosion of 2017. I think I'm just reacting to the presence of a dude playing guitar in the video. Like, that's how you remove mystique from a person, is just strap a guitar around them. That tells you he's the sort of person who walks around telling people he's a "storyteller" and Bob stop now before you just 100% rip off "guitar guy at the party."

100) "Kiss Kiss," Chris Brown ft./T-Pain

hey guess what nope

30 September 2017

5) "Too Good at Goodbyes," by Sam Smith

at first i thought "i have sang this song before" in the first verse and i was all "hey, thanks for writing my review buddy!" 'cuz like no shit he's sang this song before, this is the only song sam smith has ever song, the only emotion sam smith has ever felt in all his life is "melancholy" and his songs are bland and without flavor as a result, they're just pointlessly sad, also i said fuck you at my computer when the choir kicked in, like seriously of goddamn course a choir, titanic was less predictable

44) "Dusk Till Dawn," by ZAYN ft./Sia

You know what kinda ticked me off about this song that I'm not sure should tick me off but whatever? The chorus, where Zayn goes "I'll be waiting for right he-e-e-e-eeee-ee-e-e-e-eeeeee-e heeee-e-e-e-e-eeee-e-eeeere?" Like what are you trying to do with that long note if you have to take a breath during the middle of it? That rest doesn't add any tension, it only serves to take people out of the song and say, "Why'd you stop singing, dude? It sounded like you were just gonna keep singing for a few seconds. You lack breath control? Is that it? Zero technical skill, ZAYN?" But it's entirely possible I'm the only person annoyed by that. And it's also possible I just wanted to be annoyed at something in particular, rather than just pointing at this song and shouting "BAD" like I did in the first draft. Because hoo boy, this ain't a hot one!

62) "Love So Soft," by Kelly Clarkson

OH GOD YES KELLY IS ON THE HORN BANDWAGON. I WAS SO READY FOR THOSE HORNS, I KNOW HOW POP MUSIC'S BEEN TRENDING THIS YEAR, I WAS WORRIED THIS WOULD JUST BE A BALLAD FROM THE TITLE, BUT THERE IS LIGHT HORNAGE and also this is the best Kelly song in years. The thing her voice does when she sings "it sure gonna cost YOU" is pure and it also does a million other things because it just flies around this song, Kelly Clarkson is flexing on all these young women who've got a vocal range of "whispering." The last few weeks, we've seen a good Kesha song, a good Demi song, and this Kelly Clarkson masterpiece, and I never wanna hear from goddamn Fifth Harmony ever again, not when the standard has been set.

73) "I'll Name the Dogs," by Blake Shelton

one of my favorite tweets of all time said, "would you like some traditional gender rolls? my wife made them while i was at work," and that is all i can think of most days, but also especially while listening to this song. "you find the spot and i'll find the money/you be the pretty and i be the funny." i am too logged on to ever accept this song.

80) "Found You," by Kane Brown

i would like to rescind my interest in kane brown for the time being. "what ifs" was intense, but this is knock-off sam hunt, which is itself akin to store-brand wheat thins. whatever about kane brown's vocal work on "what ifs" has completely vanished, he sort of rotates between three notes, and the lyrics are completely devoid of character, it's just, "it would have been sad if we never dated" over The Electric Drum Beat. i expected better, sir, but i hope you can be better.

81) "Gucci Gang," by Lil Pump

...Well, at least I only had to waste two minutes of my life listening to The Trap Song. At some point, these songs will be four measures long and instead of lyrics they'll just make the fun trill noises. Honestly, the trill noises? Very good. I love dudes are just going "brr!" and rolling their rs.

85) "No Limit," by G-Eazy ft./A$AP Rocky & Cardi B

You know what I like about Cardi B? This is G-Eazy's song, but Cardi B comes on the track to say, "Put a white boy on a song, I might turn G-Eazy out." In Cardi B's mind, this is her song, and while this is not Kendrick on "Control," given how awful G-Eazy's verse and how cringey Rocky's hook is, I'm willing to believe it. Still, I'm really excited for Cardi B as she increases in power and becomes more and more able to take songs from the main artist. But not this one, I don't wanna listen to this song again, it's super bad.

98) "Pills and Automobiles," by Chris Brown ft./Yo Gotti, A Boogie Wit da Hoodie & Kodak Black

Yeah, I'm all good on hearing about the things Chris Brown does in cars.

99) "Let Me Go," by Hailee Steinfeld & Alesso ft./Florida Georgia Line & watt

We've given the song from the Amazon ad about a dog that wishes it could interact with the baby a lot of guff, but at least I had a reaction to it, which is more than I can say for this song. Why are there so many people on this track? How did Florida Georgia Line even get here? What did they add to this song that literally any other male singer couldn't? A second, even more useless voice? Who is watt? Am I supposed to know who watt is already? This song is dumb. I'm going to listen to "Love So Soft" fifty times.

Who won the week?

I mean. No one? 1997 was all boring, 2007 had a very good song and an ok song (Cassidy made the third-best song I heard this week. Cassidy), and 2017 has an incredible song, and then I listened to things that weren’t good for an hour. I think 2017′s gonna get it because “Love So Soft” is a lock for the top ten, whereas “Good Life” probably doesn’t make the Top 20, jubilant and lovely as it is. So basically “Love So Soft” is Kevin Garnett on the Timberwolves, just dragging a bunch of scrublords into the playoffs.

1993: 13 2007: 12 2017: 13

Next week, 1997 presents us with Aaliyah, Fiona Apple, and everyone’s favorite way to fulfill the Rule of Three: The Kinleys! 2007 responds with James Blunt, so, y’know, that’s gonna be something we have to spend time thinking about. And 2017 will give us a sassy young woman belting over horns, a tropical beat from a DJ of note, a trap song with a thousand trills, Latin pop IF WE’RE LUCKY, a song by a member of One Direction, and content from a shitheel.