#i guess it was a shallow grave

[ghoulbats]

link

[finitevariety]

you utter cowards

[writtebycamus]

*me and my friends when we are definitely not judging you

[chameleonsallinvermillion]

I think what captivates me so much about Interview With The Vampire is that no writer has chickened out of making everybody the bad guy. Normally even media that is supposed to be full of moral greys and awful people throws in someone to be the moral standard. It would have been so easy for them to do it. But nope, we get 900 different genres of toxic asshole and we get to root for them to succeed whilst knowing they don't deserve it.

[zennyzach]

Ugh I wanna do art trades with friends soooo bad but my motivation is GONE

[moinsbienquekaworu]

I may be above sexual and romantic attraction, but this is the second time I watch a film/show in part because I like one of the main actors' face without knowledge of the plot and realise kind of early on that there is too much violence for me in it given how squeamish I am, but late enough that I want to see the rest of the plot and decide to stick around despite being uncomfortable with the level of violence

[brehaaorgana]

As a bisexual (mixed race) former academic w degrees in museum studies/art history & also former employee at an archaeology museum, WHEW......

[mameillieureennemie]

Hello, Nice to meet You

Can we Please please please have a part 2 of Telepathic!Vi where she finds out about Reader's crush, wether it's by ekko or Reader herself, and confesses her own crush too?

Thanks so much, your Vi work Is so damn good!

hello hello, nice to meet you too! i'd be more than happy to do a part two of telepathic!vi! and thank you so much, i'm glad you enjoy my work! ^-^

you and vi talk it out (with some help from ekko).

part 1

"Do they hate me?" Vi can't help but ask after witnessing the tail-end of your escape. "Is that why they're avoiding me?"

"Nah, they don't hate you," Ekko replies earnestly, offering Vi one of the spare bottles of beer. "Never underestimate how much they adore you."

Vi accepts the bottle and takes the cap off with her teeth. "Doesn't feel like adoration," she sulks before having a few pulls of beer. "I just...it's the telepathy, isn't it? Me being able to get into people's heads has freaked them out and now—"

"Hey," Ekko says firmly, resting a warm hand on her shoulder. "Read my mind since I know my words aren't gonna do it for you."

Vi nods, a little shaky, before closing her eyes and letting Ekko's thoughts seep into her head.

They don't hate you. In fact, it's pretty much the opposite. But don't tell them I told you this or else they'll bury me in a shallow grave.

Vi's eyes flutter open, wide and surprised, as she murmurs, "Oh."

Ekko chuckles. "Yeah, oh," he teases, biting into his chicken wrap. "That's why they've been acting so weird. Because they're unable to hide their thoughts from you. You know how they feel about being vulnerable, so that's why they've dodging."

"Because they didn't want to ruin our friendship," Vi says softly, her heart aching.

"Mhm," Ekko agrees. "So—"

"But I like them too!" Vi exclaims suddenly. "I like them so much it's painful. I want to be with them all the time and hold their hand and kiss them and—!"

"Don't tell me that," Ekko interrupts, smiling as he nods in the direction you escaped. "Go tell them that."

With those words, Vi is leaping out into the night, her heart racing as she soars.

It takes her twenty minutes to find you, all of your usual hideaways empty. It's the very last place she looks in that she finds you, tucked away in a space barely big enough for two people.

When you see her, panic flashes across your features before you tuck your head between your knees. As if doing that will block Vi from your head.

It's endearing as it is heart-breaking.

"Hey," Vi says first and crouches beside you. "I, uh, spoke with Ekko."

There's a moment of silence before you say, "I'm gonna kill him," into your knees. Vi huffs, amused, as she leans back into the wall behind her.

"Don't," she says. "I read his mind, and well, he told me some wise stuff. You know how he is."

You hum in agreement, the sound soft, as you stay buried in your safe space.

Vi swallows, glances at you before at the partial bit of sky she sees. "I know you hate being vulnerable, I'm the same." She chuckles quietly. "I guess that's why we get along so well, right? But please know that I would never ever read your mind without your permission. I understand we all have secrets, and the last thing I'd want is for you to feel like you can't trust me."

Vi stops to let her words hang in the air, and it's a moment before you reply.

"I trust you more than anyone, Vi," you say, finally lifting your head up to look at her. "It's just...I didn't want to scare you away with my thoughts because I care about our friendship too much to ruin it and—"

"What if you didn't ruin it?" Vi says suddenly, looking right into your eyes. At your look of confusion, she takes a deep breath and says, "What if...I felt the same?"

You stare at her for a second, blink before you're inhaling in realisation.

"Oh."

[inkyquillstories]

A Firstborn with Second Thoughts (A Body Swap Story)

Note: Lucky for you if you saw the original post (which was flagged for some reason?), here's a definitely more SFW version I guess haha

(Brandon) 

(Tom)

My name is Brandon, and I have an older brother named Tom. We’re brothers, but you wouldn’t think so at first glance because we look so different. Tom is tall, broad-shouldered, and muscular, while I’m shorter, thinner, and lack his athletic build. Our personalities are just as contrasting—he’s outgoing, carefree, and not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, whereas I’m bookish, reserved, and tend to overthink things. Despite our differences, we’ve always had a relatively good relationship. He’d tease me sometimes, but never in a mean-spirited way, and I’d help him with his homework when he got stuck. We had a balance, and it worked.

However, when Tom went off to college, things took a turn. He fell in with a reckless crowd—guys who cared more about drinking, partying, and skipping class than actually studying.

(Tom having fun in college) 

It wasn’t like he was ever the academic type, but his natural charisma had always carried him through. That didn’t work in college. Without discipline or structure, his grades plummeted. My parents were livid, especially my father, who had worked hard to send Tom to a good school. They weren’t about to let all that money go to waste. Meanwhile, I was in my senior year of high school, excelling academically, and on track to get into a prestigious university. I knew my parents wished Tom had my dedication, but I never expected them to take such drastic action to fix things.

When Tom came home for the holidays, our parents sat us down for a serious talk. They explained their plan: they were going to use a secret family heirloom—a body-swapping talisman—to switch our bodies. 

I thought they were joking at first, but when I saw how grave my father’s expression was, I knew they meant it. Tom was furious, shouting that this was insane, while I sat there in shock, unable to process what they were saying. Before we could protest any further, my father held up the talisman and muttered a phrase in a language I didn’t recognize. Everything went dark.

When I woke up, I felt... different. My sheets felt tight, my body felt heavier.

(Brandon waking up) 

Confused, I sat up and noticed that my clothes—my usual loose-fitting boxers—were now straining against a larger frame. I glanced down and saw muscular legs where my thin ones should have been. 

Panic surged through me, and I stumbled out of bed, rushing to the mirror. The reflection staring back at me wasn’t mine—it was Tom’s. His chiseled jaw, his deep-set eyes, his broad chest. It was me. I was him. 

A scream from the next room startled me—my scream. I ran to Tom’s room and found my old body flailing in oversized clothes. Tom—now in my body—looked horrified.

Our parents were waiting for us in the living room, prepared for our reactions. They handed us each a bag containing our new belongings—phones, wallets, even keys to our respective rooms. We were expected to swap everything, down to our names. “From now on, you will call each other by your new names,” my father ordered. “No slip-ups. Act like nothing happened. If you disobey, this arrangement will last even longer.” I looked at Tom, my former self, and saw the helplessness in his eyes. But what choice did we have?

That night, I sat in Tom’s room, getting acquainted with his life. I stood in front of the mirror, my breath shallow as I took in the reflection that wasn’t mine. Tom’s face—my face now—stared back at me, a mix of confusion and curiosity in those deep-set brown eyes. I lifted a hand to touch my jaw, feeling the rough stubble beneath my fingertips. My old face had been smooth, youthful, almost delicate. But this? This was strong, angular, rugged. My fingers traced the defined cheekbones, the squared jaw, the broader nose that gave me a more commanding presence. Even the way my eyebrows furrowed looked different—more intense, more... powerful. 

Even my posture felt different, more naturally dominant. My legs, too—thicker, stronger. My calves flexed with every slight movement, and my feet… even they felt bigger, more grounded. I wiggled my toes, marveling at how different they looked, longer and more substantial than my old ones.  

In the next few days, I stood in front of Tom’s closet, my fingers brushing against the rows of neatly folded shirts and stacks of jeans. Everything felt bigger, heavier. I grabbed one of his t-shirts and pulled it over my head. The fabric stretched comfortably across my broader chest and arms, fitting perfectly in a way my old clothes never had. 

Downstairs, Tom—now in my old body—stood awkwardly in my usual hoodie and sneakers, fidgeting with the sleeves. “This is so weird,” he muttered, staring at me like he was looking in a funhouse mirror. “We actually have to go out like this?”

I smirked, grabbing the keys to his car. “Unless you suddenly know how to drive, yeah.”

His scowl deepened, but he followed me outside without another word. As I slid into the driver’s seat, the leather felt familiar yet new beneath me. I adjusted the mirrors, and for a split second, I caught my reflection—Tom’s reflection—staring back at me from the rearview mirror then I looked at the pedals and loved my new perspective. I grinned. “Let’s go.”

We pulled into town, and from the moment we stepped out of the car, it was like I had stepped into a whole new world. “Yo, Tom!” Someone waved at me from across the street, and without hesitation, I lifted a hand in response. A couple of guys I vaguely recognized from Tom’s social media clapped me on the back as I walked by, greeting me with easy confidence.

“Tom, man, you hitting the gym later?” one of them asked.

I laughed, flexing an arm instinctively. “You know it.”

The words rolled off my tongue effortlessly, and it felt… right. No one questioned me. No one looked past me. They saw Tom—the strong, charismatic, confident guy. And for the first time in my life, I wasn’t just the shy, smart little brother. I was someone people noticed. Someone people respected.

Tom, trailing slightly behind me in my old body, kept shifting uncomfortably. He barely spoke, barely made eye contact. The contrast between us was stark. I had spent my whole life in his shadow, and now, here he was—quiet, uncertain, small. And me? I was the one towering over him, leading the way.

As we drove back home, I caught my reflection in the window once more. The smirk on my face wasn’t just Tom’s. It was mine. I dropped my brother home and proceeded to the gym.

Eventually, I had to go to college and college life as Tom was surprisingly easy. I went to his classes, aced his exams, and even managed to keep up his social life. His friends were shocked at how “responsible” I had become, but they admired it. My parents were pleased with my performance, thinking they had fixed Tom’s future. What they didn’t know was that I still partied—I just balanced it better than Tom ever did. I was living his life better than he ever could.

Meanwhile, Tom struggled in my old life. He hated the long study sessions, the lack of social outings, the expectation to be quiet and diligent. He constantly complained, but he knew that failing to keep up my grades would mean a prolonged swap. I tried to encourage him, but he was miserable. He didn’t want my life. But the more time passed, the less I wanted to give his back.

Months went by, and I grew more attached to my new life. I loved the strength, the confidence, the admiration. When I came home for the semester break, Tom stared at me and muttered, “You even look bigger.” I smirked and shrugged. “Kept up your gym routine.”

My parents announced that they had decided to extend the swap indefinitely, claiming that everything was better this way. Tom clenched his fists, but he had no choice but to accept it. Me? I was secretly thrilled.

Later that night, I found Tom sitting on the edge of my—his—bed, hunched over with his elbows on his knees. His expression was distant, frustrated. I leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over my chest. “Alright,” I said, breaking the silence. “Let’s go over some things.”  

Tom let out an annoyed sigh. “Seriously?”  

I nodded, stepping inside and shutting the door. “Yes, seriously. You keep slipping up, and if we mess this up, Dad will keep us like this even longer. So, let’s make sure you know who you are.” I sat across from him, leveling him with a firm gaze. “What’s your name?”  

He gritted his teeth, then mumbled, “Brandon.”  

“Louder.”  

“Brandon,” he said again, voice bitter.  

“Good. How old are you?”  

He shifted uncomfortably. “Eighteen.”  

I tilted my head. “And I am?”  

His jaw tightened. “Twenty.”  

“Who’s the older brother?”  

He swallowed hard before answering. “You are.”  

A small smirk tugged at my lips. “That’s right. And what do you like to do in your free time?”  

Tom hesitated before mumbling, “Study. Read. Play strategy games.” The words sounded foreign coming from his mouth—my mouth.  

“And what do I like to do?” I asked, pressing further.  

His fists clenched in his lap. “Work out. Party. Hang out with friends.”  

I nodded approvingly. “See? You’re getting the hang of it.” I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “Listen, you need to start thinking of yourself as Brandon. You need to act like him, talk like him, live like him. The more you resist, the harder it’ll be. The sooner you accept it, the easier your life will be.”  

Tom looked up at me, and for the first time, I saw something in his eyes I hadn’t expected—defeat. A reluctant acceptance of what was happening. He exhaled slowly and muttered, “Fine.”  

“Good,” I said, standing up. “Now, repeat after me. ‘I am Brandon. I am eighteen. I’m the younger brother.’”  

Tom clenched his jaw, but he obeyed. “I am Brandon. I am eighteen. I’m the younger brother.”  

“And I am?”  

He swallowed hard. “You are Tom. You are twenty. You are the older brother.”  

I grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. “Now you’re getting it.”  

As I walked out of the room, I felt a deep satisfaction settle in my chest. The more Tom accepted his new role, the more permanent it all felt. And honestly? That was exactly what I wanted. To solidify this, I changed all his social media passwords, cutting off any connection he had to his old life. If he wanted to live as me, he had to fully embrace it. I wasn’t going to let him live vicariously through the life I had made better.

One evening, after dinner, I found my dad in his study, sipping a glass of whiskey while reading through some paperwork. He barely looked up when I stepped inside, only acknowledging me with a small nod. I hesitated for a moment before speaking.  

“Dad,” I began, keeping my voice steady, “how long do you plan on keeping us like this?”  

He sighed, setting his glass down with a soft clink. “I haven’t given it much thought,” he admitted, leaning back in his chair. “But everything is working out, so why change it?”  

His words settled over me like a warm blanket. I nodded, suppressing the grin threatening to creep onto my face. I had expected some vague reassurance that this was temporary, but instead, he was practically confirming what I had already been feeling—this wasn’t temporary at all.  

Dad stood up and, to my surprise, pulled me into a firm hug. “I’m proud of you, son,” he said, his voice softer than I’d ever heard it.  

I froze, my breath catching in my throat. He had never said those words to me before—not when I aced my exams, not when I won academic competitions, not even when I got accepted into top-tier colleges. But now, as Tom, as his firstborn, he finally said it. And for the first time, I truly felt like his eldest son.  

As I stepped back, I saw the way he looked at me—with pride, with respect. It was a look he had never given the old Brandon. And maybe that was why I felt no guilt when I realized I didn’t want to go back.  

Dad was happy. The new Brandon had adjusted. And I… I loved this. Being Tom felt right. More and more, it was starting to feel like a permanent arrangement. And honestly? I was perfectly okay with that.

The End.

[importantstudentbusinessspy-blog]

Hit List pt. 2

Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Pairing: Jason Todd/Red Hood X (f)reader

Tags: NSFW, toxic romance,dark romance, dark Jason, psychotic Jason, mean Jason, brain-washing, violence, Jason's death, threatening, stalking, intimidation, blackmail, unethical behavior, mafia au, exes, assassination, semi-public sex, fingering, kissing, love confessions, mourning, ruined orgasms.

The door opening snapped you out of your concentration. Your head shot up, eyes wide with surprise as the imposing figure in the red helmet stepped into your lab. Then your heartbeat froze as you recognized the terrifying figure you've been seeing on the news for the past month. The red hood - the crime lord of Gotham - was in your lab.

"Uh... can I help you?" you asked, your voice wary.

The red hood sweeped the room. You shifted uncomfortably.

“I’ve got some questions,” his low baritone was distorted through the modulator.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ Six Years Prior◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Jason lay on the warehouse floor, his Robin suit was torn around different parts, the exposed skin under it seeping blood onto the cold floor. Speaking of cold, Jason was pretty sure he was going to die here.

Yeah... asking Batman to let him patrol alone was just another notch down the line of Jason's cocky mistakes. But after doing it for so long, being Robin has become a second nature. He could beat up henchmen with his eyes closed and his arms tied. So, of course, he thought he could handle Joker alone to save his mother. Hell, he might have even stood a chance, but the moment he'd entered the Joker’s hideout, some familiar scent hit him, and Jason became numb in an instant.

Joker had been at it for so long that the boy should no longer register the pain from the crowbar. Only... he did. He felt every cut, hit, punch, every bruising hit.

Joker needn't have bothered with the gag, Jason lost his voice from screaming a while ago.

The newly carved "J" scar on his cheek hurt like a bitch.

"Well? Looks like bats are going to be late to save ya, kiddo." Joker laughed. "Bad traffic, I guess."

Jason didn't bother talking. Too exhausted. Everything after that was blacked out. Then he stopped breathing.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Jason was in excruciating pain. He was losing his mind. All of the hurt from his torture, from the explosion that followed, attacked his senses all at once.

He was in Ra’s al Ghul’s hidden stronghold, recovering from his resurrection. The room was dimly lit, incense filling in the air as Jason lay on a cold stone slab, his body wracked with phantom pain from his death. Ra’s entered and stood beside him, offering him water and speaking with a calculated gentleness. "You’ve been through a lot, Jason. The cruelty of this world knows no bounds."

Jason spoke with a hoarse "Bruce… Did he…?"

Ra’s tone stayed calm. "Save you? He didn’t even try."

Jason struggled to sit up, his face contorted in confusion. "No. I dont believe you. He would have… he he’s my fath-"

Ra’s directed Jason’s attention to a screen showing pictures of batman running side by side with... Robin, "While you were rotting in a shallow grave, your so-called father was playing hero with the one who replaced you."

Jasons tone was angry yet desperate as tears filled his vision. "No. He wouldn’t - he didn’t forget me."

But seeing the images of the boy in the Robin suit, he shut his mouth.

Jason recalled moments of Bruce’s kindness - of patching him up after a rough mission, smiling at him when Jason mastered a new skill or got an award at school. "He saved me before. He would’ve done if he could-"

"But he didn’t, young one." Ras said. "I did. Who truly values you, Jason? The one who abandoned you to die or the one who gave you your life back?"

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Jason's breathing quickened as his fists pounded the hanging punching bag in Al Ghul’s dojo.

He had overheard an exchange between Ra's and his daughter. The topic of which was Batman, a word which recently became a trigger to him.

Jason continued olbiterating the punching bag, which had tore open where his fists landed, mixing with his bloody knuckles.

I wasn’t worth the risk? I was his son! How could he-how could he just let me die?!

Ra’s placed a hand on Jason’s shoulder making him stop his movements. "Its difficult to cope. You were nothing more than a soldier to him. A pawn in his war. But to me, you are a warrior. A leader."

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

"We found this in your bloodstream the night you were killed." Thalia Al Ghul held up a vial of clear liquid. Jason nodded, hunched over a table with his shirt pulled over. A medic was stiching up a nasty gash he got from a recent mission.

"It's relatively new," she continued. "Not FDA approved. Not even patented. But my men tracked it to a lab in Gotham University. It matches the research on several Academic papers published by a PHD student."

Jason frowned at the colorless liquid, hissing against the anchoring pain of the stitching. "What is it?"

"It's basic form blocks pain receptors. Joker played around with it and manipulated the chemical to immobilize people by overstimulating their nervous systems. It can cause a hallucinatory haze, so they're unable to defend themselves. Sound familiar?" She asked.

Jason ground his teeth and nodded, recalling how disoriented and agonized he felt during his torture.

Then, another memory surfaced his mind. One rainy day at school, when talking to you about your lab research.

"Im calling it 'Chill Mist,'" you said, proudly holding up a vial. "It'll be a breakthrough in healthcare, Jay. It blocks pain receptors and induces a calming state. For when people undergo trauma or surgery." You explained excitedly, spraying a bit of it in the air for him to smell.

"What's the name of the student working on it?" Jason's tone was grave when he asked Talia.

He anticipated the name before Thalia spoke it, but it didn't prepare him from the painful stab of betrayal in his chest.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Raw anger fueled him as Jason stared at the limp body of his duel oponent lying lifeless at his feet.

Ra’s clapped proudly once. "See what you’re capable of? This is just the beginning, Jason. You will become unstoppable."

Jason stared at the blood on his hands, the sword shaking in his grip.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ Six Years Later ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Dmitry, a lower level henchman in the Russian mafia, sat across the table from the red hood, swallowing thickly. He felt for his gun in his holster and was relieved it was still there.

He's heard stories about the Red Hood from rival gangs, and he damn near shit his pants sitting across from him now. Worse, so when the man finally spoke, addressing him in his native language. "Привет Дима," (hello, Dima)

Dima looked around himself nervously, wondering why he was here instead of his boss. "Г-где Сергей?" (Where's Sergey?)

"Сергея больше нет. C сегодняшнего дня, я твой новый бос. Продолжим на английском. "(Sergey no longer exists. Starting today, im your new boss.We're gonna continue this conversation in English.)

Dmitry paled, his eyes cast down to the duffle bag resting beside the Red Hood's boots, suspecting the worst. "Бляд..." He swore under his breath. "W-we didn’t know it was your turf!"

The hood let out a sound that might have been a chuckle, but it was distorted behind the mask.

He leaned against the desk, spinning his knife lazily in his hand. "The whole fuckin' city's my turf."

Danny tried to protest, but Jason interrupted. "Here’s how it works now. You want to work in Gotham, you pay me a cut. I keep the cops off your back, keep you alive, and make sure you don’t sell this filth to kids. You mess up, you disappear. Simple enough?"

When Danny hesitated, Jason flipped the knife into his hand and buried it in the table beside him. "That wasn’t a question."

Danny nodded frantically.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

The by-now famous Red Hood walked into Arkham asylum to blaring sirens as inmates shook the bars of their prison cells, shouting his name. Under the fluorescent lights, he could make out some familiar faces. But he was only here for one.

Joker looked up as red hood approached, a grin spreading across his face. "What's this?" He asked. "A fan coming to visit -"

The gunshot rang out before he could finish talking. The smoke raising from the red hood's gun. He climbed out into a nearby window and jumped out, the jokers cold body on the floor behind him.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Jason's eyes narrowed as he watched you through the window of you lab. You looked different now, older than the girl he once knew, but no less intoxicating. He clenched his fists, feeling the phantom pain of his death crawling all over his body.

You didn’t know. He reminded himself. You didn’t know what the Joker planned that night...

But you made it. That damn toxin that burned through his veins, twisting his screams into something unrecognizable even to himself.

Jason ground his teeth behind his mask. How was it fair that you got to walk away? That you got to live while he had to claw his way out of a fucking grave?

His gloved hand flexed over the hilt of his knife. He wouldn’t kill you, no. But he would make you pay. One way or another, he would make you pay.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Your hand reached for your phone charging on the table, but he noticed. He grasped you by your lab coat, easily pushing you against the wall. His grip was firm as he pinned your hands above your head. The sharp edge of his helmet pressed against your side. "What? Don't you trust me? After all this time..." the words released in a low chuckle.

Confused, you struggled against him. "I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t-"

He stepped closer, pressing you against the wall and locking your movement. The sound of his boots against the floor echoed in the quiet of the empty room.

You heard a click of metal and risked a glance to see him lift the helmet before dropping it to the ground.

Your breath left in a rush as your world tilted. Impossible...

"Jason...?" you whispered, barely audible.

He smiled down at you. Not the boyish grin you remembered. But a sharp, humorless. "Surprise."

You stared, taking in the stark differences. The Jason you remembered was cocky and boyish. The man standing above you now had sharper features, his body bulkier, and his eyes were hollowed pools of blue - once bright and mischievous - now held pain and anger aimed at you.

You stammered. “You - how - youre dead!”

"Aparently not." He drawled. “And congrats on being the first person to know who’s under the Red Hood.”

The Red Hood. That’s who he’s become. The vigilante-turned-crime lord everyone in Gotham feared or admired. And he was standing in front of you, the same boy with whom you did your homework, the one who pulled your hair at school, who took your first kiss, and more.

Jason’s gaze roamed over you, his expression unreadable. "What's wrong, baby? You look like you’ve seen a ghost," he said, his tone filled with amusement.

You voice shool as tears filled your eyes. "What happened to you?"

He told you. Step by step. Recounting the literal horror he'd experienced. By the time he finished his story, it was clear to you that Jason blamed you for hia death.

Jason felt a twisted satisfaction in seeing your head shake, guilt evident in your teary eyes.

His hand slid to your body, the leather of his glove cool against your skin. “Tell me,” he said, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Does it bother you? Knowing that every time I look at you, I see the reason I died?” he emphasized by wrapping around your throat.

You opened your mouth to speak, but Jason’s lips crushed against yours before you could form a single word. It wasn’t tender; it was raw, punishing, a collision of teeth and desperation that left you breathless.

He lifted you with ease and put you on the table you were working on. Worrying about chemical hazards was the last thing on your mind when you were being kissed by a dark reincarnation of your high school sweetheart.

"Jason-" you drew back on a gasp.

His lips brushed your ear before biting your neck, “Do you know how many nights I dreamed of making you feel an ounce of what I felt?” His words terrified you.

"What will you do to me?" Your voice trembled.

"I don't know..." He sounded distracted as his finger glided over your lab coat, unbuttoning it and pulling it down off you, leaving you in your t-shirt and jeans. You were suddenly cold, feeling bumps along your arms. Jason's haze was heated, and you followed it to your chest, where your nipples pebbled under your bralette. You held your breath as he raised his hand to circle one of your nipples, not saying anything.

"If you were me," Jason drawled, attention back on you, though his fingers continued circling your nipple. You suppressed a whimper desperate to be let out. "What would you do to you?"

"I..." Your voice hitched when his finger brushed the spot you wanted him so desperately.

"What would you do if you've defeated all of your enemies, but one." He asked, tone heavy.

Your heart ached at his words, and you shook you head. "I'm not your enemy, Jay-" you wispered.

Something you said made him freeze, a moment passed before he gave your nipple a brief but harsh pinch. “You don’t get to say my name like that,” he hissed, his other hand tightening on your hair.

Removing his gloves and dropping them to the floor with a soft thud. You watched at his scarred, large hand lowered to the buttons of your jeans, undoing them one by one. The sensation made your body jerk, and you bit your lip to keep from making any sounds.

Jason noticed and brought his lips up to yours, biting down on your bottom lip before saying. "Dont hold back now, baby. You never did before -"

"I've missed you." The confession left your lips in a quick breath.

That made him freeze again. Just like when he did when you called him by his nickname. Carefully, you reached to cup his cheek, your thumb tracing the "J" scar under his eye.

"Stop," he said under his breath.

"Jason," you wimpered, your voice strained. "I missed you so much-"

"Stop." He growled.

With tears in your eyes, you begged. "Please! Jason, I still love-"

He kissed you again, desperate to silence you. He was pretty sure the next words out of your mouth were going to break his conditioning completely. He couldn't pet that happen - not after how far he's come.

His fingers reached your sex, coating themselves in your slick and sliding up to rub your clit. "If you don't shut up for your own good, I'll have to find something else to keep your mouth busy."

The ministration on your sex, the words, and the fact that the love of your life was speaking them to you all sent your mind spiraling. But the sensations he caused in your body overtook any intentions in your mind, and you arched against him, desperately pushing yourself closer to him.

"That's right," he chuckled, his mind back where he deeded it to be. "Give up control, baby."

You were so close.

"Give me my revenge." He laughed, grinning against your ear.

You moaned just as you were nearing your climax.

He withdrew his fingers, ruining your orgasm.

"No!" You protested.

Pleading, your eyes sought his out in the darkness. He wore a wolfish smirk as he reached up and licked his fingers. His eyes were hooded as he glared at you. He didn't say much. Just hummed as he slowly approached you. Frightened, you tried backing away as far as you could. "Dont! Jason, I'll call the cops. I'll tell them -"

"Tell them what?" He pulled you by your hair. It was not a playful tug like he used to do in school, but a harsh grasp that had you gasping. "That the Red Hood fingered you? That he didn't let you finish?" He said in a mocking tone.

You swallowed harshly, not saying anything. This version of Jason was so cruel that you couldn't comprehend it.

"You're not gonna go to the police." He informed you. "You're gonna come to work wearing a skirt tomorrow." He finished before giving you one last kiss.

Before you could come up with anything more to say, he had put on his gloves and helmet, saluted you, and walked out the door.

[fataldrum]

Dorian Gray is queer art, period.

Apparently Netflix has decided to make an adaption of The Picture of Dorian Gray with Dorian and Basil as siblings. Unless they're planning to go the gothic horror incest route, they've completely missed the point of the relationship between these characters.

If you haven't read the book, Basil is a painter who becomes infatuated with a beautiful young man, pouring his feelings into a painting. Dorian becomes jealous of the painting's beauty, realizing that he will never be as young and unspoiled as the version of himself on the canvas. He finds himself wishing that the painting could age instead of him. His wish is granted, allowing him to stay young and beautiful until the end, with his moral and spiritual decline reflected only in the painting.

I cannot overstate how queer this book is. Dorian is so beautiful that their first meeting inspires a wave of existential terror in Basil. Dorian changes Basil's entire understanding of art and beauty. This book is so queer it was used as evidence at Wilde's sodomy trial.

The existence of the portrait itself is tantamount to a confession of queer desire. Basil tells his friend, Lord Henry, that he can't exhibit the painting because "I have put too much of myself into it.”

Lord Henry (who will later lead Dorian into a life of vice) laughs, but Basil explains:

“[E]very portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter. [...] It is not he who is revealed by the painter; it is rather the painter who, on the coloured canvas, reveals himself. The reason I will not exhibit this picture is that I am afraid that I have shown in it the secret of my own soul.”

This is how he describes meeting Dorian:

When our eyes met, I felt that I was growing pale. A curious sensation of terror came over me. I knew that I had come face to face with some one whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if I allowed it to do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art itself. [...] I have always been my own master; had at least always been so, till I met Dorian Gray. Then—but I don’t know how to explain it to you. Something seemed to tell me that I was on the verge of a terrible crisis in my life. I had a strange feeling that fate had in store for me exquisite joys and exquisite sorrows. I grew afraid and turned to quit the room. It was not conscience that made me do so: it was a sort of cowardice. I take no credit to myself for trying to escape.”

Notice that turn of phrase--it was not conscience but cowardice that made him attempt to flee. Why would conscience factor into his decision? Because he felt shame at his reaction to Dorian's perfect, beautiful face.

Lord Henry is shocked to discover Basil cares for something besides his art.

“He is all my art to me now,” said the painter gravely. “I sometimes think, Harry, that there are only two eras of any importance in the world’s history. The first is the appearance of a new medium for art, and the second is the appearance of a new personality for art also. What the invention of oil-painting was to the Venetians, the face of Antinous was to late Greek sculpture, and the face of Dorian Gray will some day be to me.

Basil goes on to confess, "I see everything in him. He is never more present in my work than when no image of him is there."

Lord Henry still doesn't understand why there is too much of Basil in the painting, so Basil explains:

“Because, without intending it, I have put into it some expression of all this curious artistic idolatry, of which, of course, I have never cared to speak to him. He knows nothing about it. He shall never know anything about it. But the world might guess it, and I will not bare my soul to their shallow prying eyes. My heart shall never be put under their microscope. There is too much of myself in the thing, Harry—too much of myself!”

Lord Henry asks how Dorian feels about Basil, and his response is absolutely tragic.

The painter considered for a few moments. “He likes me,” he answered after a pause; “I know he likes me. Of course I flatter him dreadfully. I find a strange pleasure in saying things to him that I know I shall be sorry for having said. As a rule, he is charming to me, and we sit in the studio and talk of a thousand things. Now and then, however, he is horribly thoughtless, and seems to take a real delight in giving me pain. Then I feel, Harry, that I have given away my whole soul to some one who treats it as if it were a flower to put in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a summer’s day.”

Any adaptation that ignores the way Dorian's existence and beauty utterly destroyed Basil is doomed to be shallow and insipid. This is not just a book about a magic painting. It's a monument to queer longing.

[seat-safety-switch]

When it comes to measurement, you are one of two kinds of person. You can be measure-twice-cut-once, or you can be cut-twice-measure-never. Personally, I'm the latter kind of person, and I've never quite gotten along with the measurement-uber-alles crew.

You see, life is short. That's why I always cut long. If it doesn't fit the first time, well, you can trim it right down. Then, you look like a hard worker and a fast worker, all in one. Cutting long saves a lot of time, and sometimes it even makes up for all of the dumb mistakes you made while not-measuring. I can tell I'm starting to lose some of the C-students in the back, who are now playing five-finger-fillet with the bandsaw out of sheer boredom. Let me give you a more concrete example before I have to remember how to make a tourniquet.

A couple years ago, I had signed onto this group of palaeontologists. That's a fancy Greek word for "dinosaur touchers." Their job was to dig deep into the earth, pull up some bones, and then sell those bones for not enough money to museums who grudgingly added them to their existing piles of dinosaur bones. I got hired because they needed a guy to drive the Jeeps, and occasionally make huevos rancheros. Not with the dinosaur eggs, I asked.

Anyway, the thing is, as a generic fixer, they also wanted me to build stuff all the time. Fences. Planter boxes. Scaffolds. Shallow, animal-proof graves when they had to betray a fellow palaeontologist over a big find. Things got dark out there in the desert, but that's a story for another time. Once, I had to build bathroom stalls, so they'd have a place to human-poop, while they were digging up dinosaur poop. I got a lot of practice measuring, and even more practice cutting.

Oh, I can see that the start of this interminably boring story has caused a couple of you to inadvertently maim yourselves. Okay, I'll get the Gojo® Blood-And-Guts-Cleaner. I guess my story ran a little bit long. So hard to estimate when it's going to end.

[scariusaquarius]

huddled.

CHRISTMAS ADVENT BONANZA 2K24 Day 5: Frozen Hands/Feet, Arthur Morgan

Arthur Morgan x Fem! Reader Summary: The Mountainside is unforgiving to those that pass through. Colter holds no love for a sinner, but a sinner just might be who you need to chase the cold away.

-

A/n: it's arthur morgan, boah! I miss this man with a PASSION. Take's place, as you probably guessed, right at the beginning of Red Dead Redemption 2! this is a bit short and so i apologize

-

Genre: Fluff, Slight Romance Rated: Everyone Warning: Fluffy, Cursing, Awkwardness, Slight Crude Humor

-

Author: ScariusAquarius

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You had lost feeling in your fingers long ago, the piss-poor gloves that you had knit beforehand doing absolutely nothing to keep the freezing temperature away.

They were aching, begging to let go of the reigns of your stallion; blisters rubbing within the confines of the wool before they had officially gone numb.

The Van der Linde gang had fled from Blackwater, fleeing to wherever salvation they could after the massacre, and when they got to Colter and the empty, abandoned village, it was only a matter of time.

Dutch, Arthur, and Hosea got everyone situated into one of the homes that wasn't completely broken down; a fire started within the fireplace with some wood that, thankfully, wasn't wet and frozen. There was hardly any space to sit as everyone hunkered down, and you were left sitting against the wall, rubbing your hands desperately.

If you didn't get them warmed up as soon as you could, you were gonna run the risk of frostbite if you haven't already; and you weren't really ready to lose any of your fingers nor toes.

Wiggling, stretching, and clenching your fingers, you shivered almost violently before squeezing your eyes shut. It was fine. It was definitely fine.

Your heartbeat began to race, anxiety filling your stomach, and you looked up at Arthur as he knelt in front of you, your hands clasped within his own. His hands were warm even through his gloves, and you almost melted along with your heart when he began to blow hot air on your frozen extremities.

"Mr. Morgan, you really don't have to do that."

Arthur shook his head, glancing up at you from beneath the brim of his hat.

"Don't worry about it. Don't wanna lose those fingers now, do we?"

His hazel blue-green eyes were kind as he looked up at you before he bent down again, blowing more hot air onto your hands. Already, the feeling was starting to come back, and you replied softly.

"No, I don't suppose we do. Thank you."

Arthur nodded, and the sound of Micah's voice made Arthur's grip on your hands tighten.

"Aw, look at the two lovebirds. I mean, I wasn't really in the market for a show, but I'd love to watch if you two don't mind."

You made a face at the man, teeth clenching. Before you or Arthur could retort, Bill hissed out.

"Oh, would you shut the fuck up already, Micah? All you fucking do is yap, yap, yap about how everyone should be pullin' their weight, and yet I don't see you scoutin' ahead with Marston like you're supposed to be!"

Micah gave Bill a look, gesturing to the fire.

"Am I not allowed some warmth as well? What use would I be to Dutch if I lose my fingers? Come on, Arthur, show me some sweetness too!"

He snickered, and you snapped, Arthur's eyes glancing up at you in surprise as the smirk on Micah's face slowly fell into an expression of anger and offense.

"You'd be of better use stuck in a shallow grave where you belong, you rat. You're only purpose in life is to waste the oxygen that God provides to you, it seems. Now get the hell out of here! The terrain ain't gonna scout itself...unless I need to tell Dutch that his favorite bastard ain't bastarding like he used to?"

"What the hell did you say to me, you bitch?"

Arthur finally stood, letting your hands go to settle one on his holster, glaring down at Micah.

"You need to get on right now, or I'll leave where you lie, boy."

Dutch suddenly walked into the house, making Micah give one last glare to you, Arthur, and Bill before giving some sod excuse as to why he hadn't left yet when Dutch questioned him. Arthur took a breath before shaking his head, clasping your hands within his own again.

"That damn snake...don't even know why we kept him."

You huffed slightly before asking Arthur, making him glance at you.

"Are you alright, Arthur?"

Arthur's gaze was soft, a slight smirk on his lips.

"Think I should be asking you that, Miss (L/n). I think that's first time I've seen you get upset like that."

You were embarrassed, shrugging your shoulders as your fingers began to feel warm again.

"Forgive me, I shouldn't have been so abrasive like that. Mr. Bell just...gets on my nerves."

"He gets on everyone's damn nerves. Ain't no reason to apologize."

Your fingers had gotten warm a few minutes ago, but you were enjoying the way Arthur was holding your hands. If he had noticed that they were warm as well, Arthur didn't say anything. He was glancing around the cramped cabin, taking in everyone's condition before he glanced back at you.

"You warmed up?"

"I think so. Thank you, Arthur."

Arthur nodded before he stood, murmuring softly.

"Don't let that snake get to you, alright? we're gonna get ourselves out of this mess."

"I believe you."

Arthur nodded, gently backing away a bit before he took his scarf off and wrapped it around your hands. You were surprised, opening your mouth to reject when Arthur hummed to you.

"I got another in the saddlebag. Don't worry about it. You just focus on staying warm, Miss (L/n)."

You nodded slowly before glancing down at the scarf wrapped around your hands, the residual warmth and Arthur's scent lulling you into a calm and relaxed state.

Arthur spared you one last glance before he left outside where Dutch was beckoning him, a grim expression on the gang leaders face and stealing his attention away.

I bet he doesn't even realize that it's almost Christmas, you thought to yourself, a small and giddy smile on your face as you held your hands close to you; a newfound warmth spreading all over your body and butterflies fluttering within your chest.

How beautiful it was for butterflies to be fluttering within winter.

END DAY 5

[will80sbyers]

The only thing that Mike is really afraid of is losing El

It’s canon in the series and also in the vr game so stfu

The way y'all diminish Mike's character to be Eleven's dog is so sad honestly, I can already tell that you are such a shallow person with no semblance of deep thoughts in your head, that's also part of why you send these messages to other people online, you never think about what this could potentially do to other people, and don't care about it because it's just surface level in your head, you haven't taken any time to dig, you should try sometimes, I think it would surprise you positively

and if you have time also dig a grave for mileven and bury the idea of them there where they should be ❤️

YOU shut the fuck up, and accept that Mike Wheeler is a complex and compassionate character that is afraid of losing ALL of his friends and El is not his whole world like you want her to be lol

In fact, in the VR game you're talking about there's even a scene where Vecna tried to go inside mike's head and make him break down reminding him of how "he didn't try harder to find Eleven"

and that's why she's not back and he's never gonna find her again and then... Guess what happens?

Vecna CAN'T break mike's mind because Mike is thinking about his other friends, having fun playing with them and being loved by them all, and then - in a great metaphor all of their characters surround Vecna inside Mike's mind and a couple of dices - one of them being A RAINBOW DICE - attack him and force him to go out of Mike's head 🤭

Note the voiceover about "being surrounded" at the same time when the characters statues which represent Will, Lucas and Dustin, move closer to him :

Then after that Vecna goes back to Will's mind and asks him this

implying Mike's worst fear is not actually centered all on Eleven, especially in the first seasons, because losing her is not enough to break his mind - he's not in love with her even if he has lots of love for her.

So, for this game that's part of why Vecna failed to break his mind, he thought the only thing Mike cared about was her when it's not, he loves all of them and I believe he loves Will in a different way than how he loves the others too, but Mike's worst fear is being so ordinary and unimportant to them ALL (Eleven included.) that this brings him to lose all of them and eventually be left behind by all of them because he wasn't good enough to protect them and take care of them, he's afraid not just that they are forced to leave him, he's afraid that they WANT to leave him

[pandora-writes-one-piece]

Forever

@loose1cannon Thank you so much for your request! I was so hyped with the Ace one, but I need to apologise because my angsty wired brain might have made a poo-poo. I'm so sorry if it's too sad! 😫 I promise that the other part of your request will be happy, okay?? I hope you still enjoy it! ❤️

Source for pic

Forever

Word Count: 1270

Tags: fem!reader; angst, so much angst; NSFW; feelings; hurt; sorrow; grief; spoilers for what happens at Marineford; slightly NSFW

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: It has been a year since Marineford and you still can't cope with the loss.

Tag List: @rosidaze @beachaddict48 @armiliadawn @jintaka-hane @sprinkklz @baby5555 @hopelesslover06 @mars-mizuko @sleepykittycx @nerium-lil (guys if you only want to be tagged for specific characters, please send me a message! I don't want to bother you with excessive tagging!!🙏)

|Masterlist|

Rain poured down from the skies mirroring your inner turmoil exactly. The steady downpour cast a sort of halo over your figure. It felt like a shroud. The site was eerily quiet aside from the sounds of the heavy drops crashing against the stone graves. 

And for the thrumming of your heart. 

An unsteady rhythm beating out of sync, skipping a beat now and then, as if it were missing something to make it whole. And it was.

Ace.

One year had passed since he left you, or since you lost him. Honestly, it felt like the world itself had lost him, since he belonged to everyone. He was life itself. And without him, there was only demise. 

“Did you miss me, baby?” His tongue swiped against yours in desperation while his scalding hands roamed your clothed body. “I missed you so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. All day, every day.”

Ace was always so eager for you that his touch singed your clothes, leaving small burn marks on the hem of your shirts or on your jeans. It used to piss you off. You’d scold him saying you didn’t have berries lying around just to buy new clothes and that he should be more careful. He laughed it off, or kissed it off, murmuring that he could buy or steal all the clothes you wanted, or better yet, you could just walk naked.

A sob clawed its way up your throat and scratched it, yearning to get out, needing to be free, but you clamped it down and pushed it back into your insides to fester and rot like all the other feelings of grief, sorrow and despair. 

No more crying. No more sadness. Ace wouldn’t want that. Ace loved your laugh.

“Laugh for me, Sunbeam!” You were both lying on his bed, sheets tangled on naked limbs and sweaty bodies, heaving from exhaustion and pleasure. 

“No. I’m mad at you.” But you weren’t, you were just downcast.

“It’s just a month. I’ll be back before you know it.”

No, no. You can’t go there, this one is too painful. If only you insisted, if only you had pushed further. He wouldn’t have gone after Blackbeard and he would still be here with you. 

Your knees hit the muddied floor with a soft thud as your hands clutched your chest. Slim fingers crumpled the drenched fabric as your breath left your lips in shallow, ragged heaves. “You weren’t supposed to leave me, Ace! Not like this!”

Your arms circled your torso in the only hug you allowed yourself these days: your own. It was nowhere near enough, but then again, there would never be another hug like Ace’s. 

It was crushing, bone-breaking, suffocating. It was home. 

“Ace!”

“I’m back, baby. Missed me, Sunbeam?” With a little jump you were straddling his lap, legs wrapped securely around his waist as his hands rested on your ass. Your mouth devoured him while your fingers tangled in his unkempt greasy hair. “I guess that’s a yes.” 

That smirk. Those freckles. The mischievous glint in his eyes. 

Gone. All gone. Buried in front of you, six feet under and beneath layers of cold, unforgiving dirt. 

Alongside your heart.

You tried to stifle your moans against the pillow, but he would have none of that. Stopping that sinful lapping of his tongue and removing his fingers from inside you, he lifted himself onto his knees and threw the pillow to the other side of the cabin. “I want to hear you scream my name.”

“Ace!” You whisper with a groan of frustration. You were just about to unravel when he left you feeling empty.

“Yes, sweetheart, just like that.” He aligned his leaking tip with your wet entrance and teased, pulling a little mewl from your lips. “But way louder.”

And you did what he told you to.

Was that the last time?

There’s no stopping the tears. You tried, you really did. But they were relentless. You have a million memories from the past and a million and one memories of Ace. You can’t afford to lose any of them.

"God, Ace, why?” The clenching in your chest expands and swells, taking up all the space inside. Filling you like a balloon and you feel ready to pop. How are you supposed to survive without him? One year was already hell, how can you survive another one?

And another one…

And another one…

“Smile, Sunbeam!”

“You’re shining, love!”

“Ah, that laugh right there, I could die a happy man.”

“You make me feel worthy.”

“I can’t live without you, baby.”

“Don’t ever leave me. I wouldn’t make it.”

You didn’t leave him. You kept your promise. He was the one who left. And now how are you supposed to move on with your life as if what made you live wasn’t ripped apart from you? How is a sunbeam supposed to shine when there is no reflective surface?

How can you be light, when all you feel is darkness?

“Ace… This was never supposed to be easy, but I didn’t expect it to break me…"

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you.”

“You’re my life.”

“My happy, little Sunbeam.”

“My love.”

Getting up on wobbly legs you took another two steps forward. Your tears mixed with the rain, salt and water. Pain and grief. Hurt and sorrow. Reaching with trembling, frail fingers, you grabbed the remnants of Ace’s hat. It was torn and tattered, the beads were barely hanging on, but it was still there.

A desperate wail left your lips as you fell back down, your legs no longer supporting the weight of your misery. This time, you let the sobs climb all the way out. And you cried as you had never cried before. Sobs, hiccups and ragged breaths mingled with the sound of approaching thunder.

But none of that compared to the tempest inside. It roared, raged and crashed, drowning you in its violence, dragging you to the pits of sorrow and darkness and you had no idea how to climb out of there anymore. Not without him. 

But then there was a sudden calmness. A break amidst the most violent of storms and then the echo of a whisper, soft and unmistakable. 

“You’ll be okay, Sunbeam.”

Ace’s voice. A gentle murmur in your soul. Perhaps a conjured thought your troubled mind had made up, but you’d take it.

You clutched his worn-out hat against your chest, wishing there was still a lingering scent of him anywhere, but he had disappeared so long ago. The rain slowed down and was now just a gentle pitter-patter against the leaves and the graves. 

A sunbeam peeked from behind a dark cloud and landed on your lap, near Ace’s hat and for the first time in a year you felt a sliver of hope on the horizon. You didn’t have Ace anymore, but your love for him would never fade or wane.

Your memories together would still be a part of you.

You would carry him inside you and remember him in those missing, uneven beats of your heart. 

Maybe… just maybe, that would be enough to carry you through. 

“I’ll be okay, love.” You forced a laugh. A bright smile like the ones he used to love. “For you, Ace. I’ll fight for you.”

The sunbeam on your lap flickered, faded behind a cloud and reappeared on Ace’s grave. Hope filled you and took back some of the space that grief and sorrow had claimed as territory. You’d learn to shine again, someday…

For him. 

For Ace.

For your love.

[ctimenefic]

the living and the dead

A little entry for @motorsport-halloween fest that's the closest I've got to actual horror.

It's too short to summarise without giving the whole game away, but, uh, warning for character deaths? Plural? And ritualised violence, and blood, and dismemberment, I guess.

It hadn’t made any sense, how right Albon seemed. They always come back wrong. 

He misses Logan’s call because of a sponsor event; six hours later, when he’s staring blankly at the blood oozing down from the ragged hole in his kitchen wall, Albon’s call comes through loud and clear.

“Oscar,” he says. His hesitance sounds pathetic. “Don’t do it.”

“Fuck you,” Oscar replies, and hangs up. When he flexes his hand, the serum-shiny clots on his knuckles break open. 

It takes him a while to realise the ringing isn’t in his ears again. 

“Really,” Albon says, more certain now, insistent. “It’s not worth it. Don’t do it.”

“You’re there, aren’t you?” Oscar asks. Even to himself he sounds flat. Finished. “Grove. You fucking watched.” He hears Alex swallow round his tombstone teeth. 

“I- He was okay. He understood. Oscar, seriously, don’t do it. He won’t thank you for it.”

“Fuck you. Don’t bury him deep,” he warns, and ends the call. 

He’d liked Albon, is the thing. When he’d first been in the F1 paddock, as a reserve, he’d expected something a bit more gruesome. Something wrong. But Alex had smiled, and cracked bad jokes, and touched his mechanics and other drivers without making them shudder. Even close up, he looked normal. His t-shirts sat high and tight on his neck, sure, but that was hardly uncanny. He sweated. He breathed. He hadn’t looked like Ocon, red-eyed, waxy and sallow and so obviously desperate to rip out Pierre’s throat that Renault had wired his jaw shut. 

It hadn’t made any sense, how right Albon seemed. They always come back wrong. 

At Monza ‘22, Oscar had assumed the subterfuge had been stretched too thin. He didn’t want to dwell on it, but he’d had a vague idea of something out of The Exorcist, Alex crawling across ceilings, spewing bile. After all, a dead man couldn’t have appendicitis. 

Except, it turned out, he could. 

He’s dwelling on it now. 

Oscar had missed Logan’s call, so he’d found out through notifications. First:

George Russell has removed Logan from the GPDA Drivers Chat

Then

BREAKING: Logan Sargeant CULLED as Vowles rededicates Williams

And

WATCH THE VIDEO: Grove ceremony called a “bloody mess” by F1 legend 

Another one slides onto his screen now, right under another call from Albon he declines.

George Russell: Do you want to know how?

He hits the autoreply that WhatsApp prompts: Yes

There was no doubting that Albon had been culled. Oscar had seen the pictures, nineteen and in awe of what Red Bull would do for victory. (It had only been photos, no video. The rumour was they’d had to drug him, that he’d stumbled to the altar and still fought there, and it’d be a bad look to have their sacrifice calling for his mum.) 

They’d cut his throat to the white of the bone. The blood had flowed down across the bodywork of the cars – both of them, Alex’s and Max’s – before it hit the earth. Oscar had wondered if it made the sponsors happy, the evidence of Christian’s commitment splattered bright red over their names. So much blood, it couldn’t be denied, couldn’t be fake. And anyway, there was the last picture, of Albon pale and split and unmistakably dead, curled over the halo, the candlelit shallow grave just visible in the background. 

And yet. Come 2022, he smiled. He joked. He touched. 

Somehow, George Russell had dragged Albon’s filthy corpse into Grove and brought him back whole. 

So it can be done. 

George is still in Monaco. Oscar rings round, has a private jet refuelling on the tarmac in Nice, a helicopter ready for him in twenty minutes. George had said it wouldn’t take long to teach him. 

They meet on a beach by the helipad. There’s not much moon left – and it makes it worse, that Vowles couldn’t wait a week for the new moon and an auspicious time before sharpening his knife – but what little light there is makes George stark against the pale sand. His shadow stretches back almost to the cliffs. 

“Terrible business,” he says in greeting. “I’d thought they’d go for retirement.”

Oscar swallows round the rock of guilt in his throat. He’d thought it too, since almost the start of the season – that Williams would let Logan go, and Oscar would have to bully him into wielding the knife, carving through his wrists. Not ending up like Latifi, too stubborn to see he’d run out of track, culled by default, an afterthought disposed of somewhere in the winter break.

He’d have cut off Logan’s hands himself to keep him. Pressed kisses to the stumps. Hell, Fernando still drives like a champion with his prosthetics, and yes, maybe he casts two shadows now, but that’s better than culling. 

“I’d’ve thought James could cut more cleanly,” George adds, a disapproving note in his voice. “Ruthlessness needs a steady hand.”

“Can we not?” Oscar interrupts. “Just- what do I need to do to get him- what do I need to do?” 

“Well, you’ll need the body first. Can’t do anything while he’s still inside her. Try to get as much of the dirt off as possible. You’ll want to check his mouth.” George pauses, and Oscar shoves his hands deep into his pockets to avoid picturing mud on Logan’s white teeth, his blue lips, his limp, cold tongue. 

“She’s clingy,” George adds. It makes Oscar feel uneasy, hearing him so dismissive, flippant, about a power so beyond knowing. “We called her Gaia, at Williams.” A little smile plays at the corner of his mouth, like it’s a secret. Like Oscar cares about names right now. 

It’s mostly common knowledge, anyway. Red Bull call her Mother, because they don’t much go in for subtlety. McLaren use Terra, which Oscar thinks fits better. Terror. That’s what she is. 

She’s had many names. Only one state, though. Hungry. 

The earth is hungry. They pump out her blood, rip her flesh, burn her in their cars and she wants recompense. 

“That’s the easy bit. After that, you have to consider the price.”

Oscar squares his shoulders. The lights of Monaco are all behind him, only the black of the ocean ahead. The entire city could wink out of existence, and he wouldn’t know. 

For all he cares, it already has. They filmed Logan’s cull, they put it on the internet, but Oscar’s just as dead without him. 

“What is it?”

George’s smile has too many teeth. “What do you think?”

He thinks of the earth’s anger, how the McLaren might fade away underneath him, like the Mercedes does to George. How it might snatch his home race, his poles, give Lando an advantage he doesn’t deserve. He could live with that. 

He thinks of the way George talks about a WDC sometimes, like it’s a decade or more out of reach. Like twenty years in the sport won’t wear the flesh from his bones, and take his hands at the end of it all the same. He could live with that. 

He thinks of Latifi, face down in the dirt. There hadn’t been a video then either. Toto had been busy, skiing – someone else had stepped in, carved him up. The photos hadn’t captured their face, but the long arm had worn a sponsor’s watch. 

He could live with that.

“Anything. I’ll pay anything.”

George chuckles. It sounds wrong.

“Are you sure?”

He turns to argue, shout, punch it out of George if he has to. George doesn’t move his body at all. But his head turns. His eyes are too large. Too dark.

Before Oscar can speak, a large wave breaks too close, a crack of saltwater against rock and sand. Sea foam races up the beach, drenches Oscar’s thongs.

A perfect ring around George’s feet remains bone dry. But where the sand is wet, things squirm under the surface. Hundreds of lugworms raise wiggling paths away, away, away from the shape of him, the cast of his shadow. 

Alex smiles-

but not at George. 

He cracks jokes- 

but not with George. 

He touches-

but not-

He came back right. But he hadn’t walked out of Grove alone. 

George unhinges his jaw. A thousand voices speak.

Deep in his pocket, Oscar’s phone starts ringing. 

“Are you sure?”

---

Logan Sargeant rots in a shallow grave and a dead man wins a championship. 

---

“Hey. It’s me. Obviously. Uh. So. It’s not gonna be an easy retirement like we thought. They- they think she’s too hungry. After the crash. The factory shook and- well. It’s my job. But, um, if you can get here. Before- I’d like that. I miss you. I will miss you. I’ll keep my cell on, so- yeah.”