#i guess an even better fit would be Chris not giving that torch away but somehow surviving anyway

[moreespressoformydepresso]

Epic: The Musical’s “Scylla” with Luke as Odysseus and Chris as Eurylochus

[fluffymisha97]

Goodbye Captain America

Summary: Reader and Chris are going to the World Premiere of Avengers Endgame but before going to the premiere, there’s some emotions that Chris needs to deal with. 

Chris wanted to bring you to the world premiere of Avengers Endgame. Although you would’ve been there already due to the fact that you’d had a supporting role the in MCU. Your character was only introduced to the world two years back, so your characters story wasn’t over yet.

But it was over for Chris. He’d passed the torch or shield on to Anthony Mackie, the new Captain America. Chris had explained it to you, saying how he wanted to get off the bus before being thrown off. Something you fully understood. 

You were surprised at first when Chris asked you to be at his side on the red carpet mainly because he initially wanted to keep the two of you a secret. But you of course said yes. It would be the first time that the world saw you together. The cast knew about you guys dating, but no one had ever spilled the beans on you. Not even Tom Holland had gone running his mouth, who really was incapable of keeping secrets or spoilers for that matter.

It felt bittersweet in so many ways for Chris. He’d been used to playing this character for so many years now. It had been one hell of a ride. He would always look back at his time on Marvel with nothing but happiness. But right now it all felt too real for him. The end of an era. 

You stood in the walk-in closet trying to decide which heels to wear. You really didn’t want to wear any heels, but you also didn’t want to look like a small chump next to your tall man. Chris was in the bedroom fixing his cufflinks on his shirt. He looked so goddamn handsome. His blue suit fit him like a glove. You could almost feel yourself growing hot, but now was not the time. Your dress’s color was like Chris’s suit so that the two matched.

After you finally found a pair of high heels, you walked back into the bedroom where Chris was sitting on the bed with a strange expression on his face. You bent down to put on the heels and then went to sit next to him.

��Are you okay baby?”

Chris nodded, but kept starring out into the air.

“Chris?”

He turned to you and you spotted the glassy eyes immediately.

“It’s stupid, right? Being upset about something that I wanted? I mean it was my choice to get off now while I still had the chance. And it was the right thing to do, right?”

You listened carefully as Chris continued.

“I guess it finally hit me today. It was creeping up on me throughout the promo tour, that this is the end. That I’m not coming back. My last time playing Captain America.”

You rubbed your hands up and down Chris’s back as he let go of emotions that he’d holding onto for several months. He leaned his body forward and you wrapped your arms around him. Chris let go of the tears and let you hold him like a child. A few moments passed before he cleared his throat and went into a sitting position again. 

He sniffled a bit and wiped his eyes before letting out a small breathy laugh.

“I’m sorry. That was incredible un-manly of me. Couldn’t have been sexy at all.”

You only caressed his cheek feeling his beard tickling your hand. You leaned in to give him a long kiss. You pulled away, needing to breathe while still holding onto his face. You looked at those beautiful blue eyes, eyes that you could swim in.

“You know what I find sexy, Chris? When you’re happy and feeling good. .”

“Well then you’re just too kind to me then, Y/N.” 

Chris took your hand in his big ones and brought it up to his mouth and placed small kisses on the back of your hand. You knew that this wasn’t the end of your talk and that Chris would go through this multiple times maybe. This would be a topic that he would come back to even in the furture. The feelings, doubts and thoughts wouldn’t go away over night. 

You stood from your seat, gently patting his cheek before walking over to stand in front of the floor mirror. You readjusted your dress, patting it down. Chris came to stand behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You looked good together.

“You look really beautiful Y/N in case I haven’t told you that.”

“No you didn’t but thank you. You look mighty fine too.”

You felt his body vibrate from laughing. You felt something else vibrate in his pocket as well. It was his phone, Meghan wanted to let you know that the driver was coming over in 5 minutes. His body got tense for a bit as he read the text out loud. You kept your hands on him, trying to calm him and prevent any signs of anxiety. You turned your head so you could kiss him which he reciprocated. You took a last look at you both before leading him downstairs.

It helped that Chris’s family came before you’d to leave for the premiere. They all kept him grounded. They did a bunch of pictures which was great. You took most of the pictures before Lisa demanded one of you and Chris. It felt like prom night really as you posed with Chris. You all got in the cars and were on your way.

Chris held your hand the whole ride. You drew circles on the back of his hand, which seemed to soothe him. As you finally arrived, Chris went out first and got his pictures taken alone and then with his family. You too were photographed alone before the time came to walk together as a couple. 

Chris held out his hand to you as you walked towards him. You were probably the most nervous one while Chris looked calm and collected. His smile was everything you needed. You stood beside him as he wrapped an arm around you while on of your hands rested comfortable on his chest. People were yelling and shouting all kinds of things that neither of you comprehended. You only had eyes for one man.

This was one of those moments where you felt yourself fall in love with Chris all over. He leaned down to you. Even in heels, he was like a tower.

“Thank you so much for being here...For being with me.”

He gave you a small peck on the lips before standing straight. Chris’s eyes and heart were filled with love. With you by his side he could easily say goodbye to Cap because you made everything better. MCU gave him one of the best roles in his life, friends who’d become like family to him and most importantly you. He would have to let Cap go but that seemed easy when he had you. 

Bonus:

As you were posing for the cameras, Robert Downey Jr. came running over to photobomb you. He let out a huge gasp and covered his mouth in shock while looking out on the crowd.

“Omg, the world is no more. Who would’ve thought this? Oh right, me. Btw I’ll take full credit for bringing these two together. My dear old Cap and sweet little Y/N, it was a match made in heaven, made by me. No seriously this is great, right?”

People went crazy. Truth was indeed out now but if felt alright. RDJ let out a laugh as he embraced you two and kissed Chris on the cheek as he quickly posed for a few pictures.

(Btw - I don’t know if I did the link thing right.)

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Forged Through Fire (4/13)

Summary: Amestris. Once democratic, now a military dictatorship. Prohibition is strict; personal freedoms curtailed. All alchemists must be state-licensed or face imprisonment. Foreigners are met with suspicion. It’s a grim place and a grim time, but there are some people able to bring a little light to the world. Behind an innocent-looking bookshop, speakeasy proprietor Chris Mustang has formed an unlikely alliance with unlicensed alchemist Van Hohenheim to provide alcohol to those who want it and medical care to those who need it. When Riza’s newly complete tattoo becomes infected, Roy brings her into this underworld, little knowing the way it will change their lives in the future – uncovering the secrets of the mythical Philosopher’s Stone and the schemes of a Fuhrer hell-bent on achieving immortality, all whilst navigating what they mean to each other.

===

Rated: T

[One] [Two] [Three] [AO3]

===

Content warning for this chapter: Discussion of parent-on-child domestic abuse and parental neglect.

===

Forged Through Fire

Four

Roy didn’t really know what to expect when he knocked on the Hawkeye residence’s door the next day – well, later in the same day, since he hadn’t left until after midnight. Riza looked tired and withdrawn when she answered, but she gave a weak smile when she saw him.

“Hey Roy. Come in.”

He stepped inside, hanging up his coat on the hook that had always been his when he had been coming over to learn under Berthold.

“How are you today?”

“I’m ok. Still sore, and the burned skin pulls weirdly sometimes, it’s going to take some time to get used to it. But the pain’s getting better.”

“That’s good.” It wasn’t exactly what he’d asked, and he wondered if Riza was dodging the subject intentionally. “How are you feeling today?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to vocalise it. I’m not used to this.”

“What aren’t you used to?”

He followed her into the kitchen, getting cups out of the cupboard as she put the kettle on.

“This.” She gave a long sigh. “I’m not used to having people care about me and care how I’m feeling. The last person who ever cared about my feelings was my mom. And now there’s you, and Trisha, and Hohenheim, and your aunt, and you all care, and you all know about this.” She gestured to her back. “And I trust you with it, don’t get me wrong. But it’s overwhelming. I don’t know how to be vulnerable, Roy. I don’t know how to deal with people caring about me.”

“That’s ok.” Roy chanced to reach across and touch her hand where it was resting on the counter as she waited for the kettle to come to the boil. “We’ll still be here whilst you’re figuring it out.”

No more was said as the kettle boiled and tea was made, and they sat down at the kitchen table.

Presently, Riza looked through the kitchen door to the door of her father’s study opposite.

“I should go in and sort everything out. I haven’t been in there since he died. I don’t have the energy. I can’t think of anything that I want to do less than go through all his research. Part of me says I shouldn’t bother. He loved alchemy more than he ever loved me and I don’t see why I should have to have anything to do with it now. But then there’s the other part of me that says I should continue being a dutiful daughter and go through all his stuff. It caused me so much pain and it’s all still there and I have to do something with it.”

“I don’t see any reason why you should,” Roy said “Just destroy it all. Hell, just torch the entire room, you don’t even need to take anything out of it.”

Riza raised an eyebrow. “Having a burned out husk of a room in the middle of the house might make it hard to sell. Also the risk of it bringing the entire house down is just a bit too great. Not that I don’t trust you to have excellent control over your fire, but this is a very old and flammable building. Makes me wonder how it never burned down before, actually.”

“OK. Take everything out of it and dump it in the garden and have a bonfire, then. You don’t owe him anything, Riza. I think you need the catharsis. You can’t get rid of the marks he left on you, but you can get rid of all of the other traces of his legacy. I think it would be fitting for it all to go up in smoke.”

Riza nodded. “I just want it gone,” she said quietly. “The tattoo will never be gone. But everything else can be gone. Just… erase him from the world and never have to deal with him again. Never have him cause me any pain again.”

She finished her tea and stood up suddenly, the scrape of the chair legs against the kitchen floor jerking Roy into action too.

“Let’s do it.”

She threw the study door open, as if she was trying not to second-guess herself, and Roy looked around. It looked exactly the same as it had done when he had last been in there a couple of years prior – books and papers everywhere, no rhyme or reason to anything, no order that made sense to anyone except Berthold.

“I hate this room so much,” Riza said. Her tone was almost conversational, but Roy could see the anger in her eyes, now bright and fiery instead of the haunted look she’d been wearing for the past couple of days.

It took them a while to get everything out of the study into the garden and pile it up, but it was worth it to see the look of satisfaction in Riza’s face as she stood in the empty room. They’d even ripped down the curtains and pulled out the built-in bookshelves. If they were going to do it, then they would do it properly. Everything had to go. The sun was beginning to go down by the time they were finished, and Roy looked over at Riza.

“Are you ready?”

She nodded.

“Light it up.”

Roy shook his head and handed her a lighter; always paid to have one handy in case the spark cloth got wet. “No. This is your moment; you need to do this.”

Riza took the lighter and flicked it, watching the tiny flame stuttering in the breeze for a while before she threw it onto the pile of papers and furniture. It took a few moments for it to catch properly, but soon the blaze was burning high, Berthold Hawkeye’s legacy going up in smoke in the most poetic end for his research there could be.

For a long time, they just watched the blaze together in silence, and Roy looked sideways at Riza, the shadows from the bright flame dancing in front of his eyes. Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself, like she was trying to physically hold herself together, and he startled when she suddenly crumpled down onto her knees.

He crouched beside her.

“Riza?”

Riza howled, a heartrending scream of pain, anger, frustration and grief all letting rip. Roy couldn’t say he was surprised, nor could he say she didn’t need it after everything. Tears were streaming down her face, and Roy realised he hadn’t seen her cry like this at all since her father’s death. Not at the funeral and not even the previous day when she’d been in so much pain. She had wept, but nothing like this raw outpouring of emotion. 

Riza had always been stoic, more stoic than Roy thought he could ever hope to be, and even though it was completely understandable, and he had been the one to say that she could not keep her stoicism forever, it was alarming to see her in so much distress. He hovered next to her, hand an inch from her shoulder, wanting to give a comforting touch but not sure whether or not it would be welcome.

In the end he chanced it, rubbing her arm gently. Riza gave no indication that she could even feel him, continuing to sob, and Roy settled down on the damp grass beside her.

Eventually, she cried herself out, falling silent again, the roaring flame from the bonfire still going strong beside them, the light sparkling on Riza’s wet cheeks as she kept staring at it.

“Can I get you anything?” Roy asked.

Riza shook her head.

“No. Just don’t leave, please.”

Roy would quite happily have stayed there for as long as she wanted, until the fire burned down to nothing. He shifted, putting an arm around Riza’s shoulders as she flopped against him, exhausted by the much needed emotional release.

After a few more minutes of silence, Roy ventured to speak again.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been through a washing machine. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel so I’m feeling it all at once.”

“That’s ok. Just let it all out.”

Riza didn’t respond, and Roy could see that she was crying again; silent and sorrowful.

“You’ll be ok. I promise.” He couldn’t hope to understand what she was feeling, and he was grateful that he had never been in the position where he would be able to claim he knew what she was going through, but he could understand that she was undergoing a massive upheaval, and all he could hope to do was help her through the other side.

He watched the smoke rising from the fire, sending the ashes of her childhood flying off into the night sky, away into the ether where they could never harm her again.

They stayed out in the garden until the fire began to die back - Roy would admit if asked that he had helped its intensity along at various points to keep it steady and bright - and by the time they went back inside, stiff and cold from sitting on the grass for so long, but neither of them complaining at it, Riza seemed to have found a modicum of peace again.

X

Of all the things that Riza thought she was going to have to worry about when she started working the front for the speakeasy, having someone come into the bookshop who actually wanted to use it as a bookshop wasn’t one of them. It was such an obscure and out of the way little place, hardly anyone ever came in looking for books, and most people who did come in saw the state of the shelves and everything packed in haphazard and turned straight back around again.

The woman who had just walked in and started browsing, however, had determination if nothing else. She’d been going through the shelves for a good fifteen minutes before she finally poked her head around the end of one of the stacks and looked at Riza with her brow furrowed.

“Do you have a history section?”

“Honestly? I have no idea. I’ve only been here three months. I think everything’s organised by what colour the cover is rather than anything else.”

The woman laughed. “Oh well. I’ll just keep looking. I don’t have anywhere else to be, after all.”

It was the middle of the afternoon and whilst the bar was open, Riza wasn’t expecting any patrons to come through the door any time soon, so there was no need to get the woman out of the shop lest she find out about the rather more illegal practices going on downstairs.

“I can help you look if you want.” She got up and came out from behind the counter. “Are you looking for something specific?”

“Not really, more just anything that I can get my hands on about local history. I mean, you know what it’s like trying to find out anything about the time before the current regime started up. I’ve got as much access to the governmental archives as they allow, which is…” The woman tailed off, and Riza knew exactly why. Even in a place as out of the way as the bookshop, there were eyes and ears everywhere.

“You get through the front door and they give you what they want you to see?” Riza suggested. She wasn’t sure how to let the woman know that the space here was safe, and at the same time there was always the risk that she herself was here for nefarious purposes, trying to scent out what was going on behind the scenes.

The woman nodded. “Yeah, pretty much.”

They continued to work through the shelves for a while but going book by book was going to take them till next Tuesday, and their conversation turned to other things – the weather, the latest news, other neutral small talk topics. Names were exchanged, and finally Riza brought the conversation back around to their current mission; subtly trying to get more information to see how much of a threat this Rebecca Catalina might be.

“So, how come you have access to the governmental archives?”

“I’m a journalist with the Central Herald.” Rebecca sighed. “At least, I attempt to be a journalist.”

“Attempt?” Riza was intrigued now; the Central Herald was known for getting on the wrong side of the government just enough to annoy them without being enough to get itself closed down. There was no free press in Amestris and there hadn’t been for a long time, but the Herald was the closest they got to it. She was steering towards thinking that Rebecca probably wasn’t a secret police informant. Either that or she was in deep undercover.

“All the newspapers have state-sponsored overseers. I think they’d all much rather that I stuck to just reporting on weddings and funerals and what colour hat Lady Bradley’s wearing on any given day, but we do our best.”

Riza had to smile at that.

“So, what’s the latest scoop?”

“Nothing concrete yet. I’ve just got a feeling. There’s some dilapidated old buildings on the far side of town, by the Narrows. They’ve been closed off as condemned for years, but they’ve never been knocked down, and there are always cars with government plates hanging around in the vicinity.”

“Well, in this country I wouldn’t put anything past anybody.”

They continued searching for a while, pulling up a few promising old books, until the bell above the shop door jangled again and Riza immediately went into secret keeper mode, going to see who had entered her domain. The bookshop was a strange liminal space in that sense, more of a portal to another world than a place in its own right.

It was only Roy.

“Hi. I just thought I’d come by to see how you were doing.”

“I’m ok.” She nodded discreetly in Rebecca’s direction to indicate that they weren’t alone and couldn’t discuss bar business. “How are you?”

“Fine. Hughes is driving me round the bend but that’s not exactly new…” He trailed off, and Riza glanced to the side to see that Rebecca was doing a very poor job of pretending that she wasn’t watching them, surreptitiously sneaking peeks over the top of the book she absolutely wasn’t reading. Looking back at Roy, she saw that he’d gone rather pink around the edges, and the sight of him so flustered made her smile.

“Well, I, erm, I’ll see you later.”

He left the shop as suddenly as he’d entered it, and Rebecca gave a giggle from behind her book.

“Boyfriend?” she asked.

“No, no. He’s just an old friend.”

Rebecca raised an eyebrow. “Are you absolutely sure about that?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She really didn’t want to think about it.

Rebecca seemed to notice her consternation and immediately changed the subject. The two of them continued to talk about books for a while, and although Riza was as guarded as she ever was around strangers, there was something about Rebecca that was easy to get along with. Riza found herself wondering what the catch was. Her upbringing had made her cynical in a way, always wondering what it was that people wanted from her. After spending so long with Roy as the only person she could really consider to be a friend, finding new friendly people was somewhat daunting.

For a moment, Riza’s anger against her father flared again, knowing that he was at the root of her troubles and lamenting the ordinary childhood and teenage years that she’d never got to have. She tried to push it down and focus on what Rebecca was saying.

“Well, I have to go now, but I’d like to come back and take a look at the shelves I didn’t get to today.”

“Sure. We’re always open.” That was pretty much true. Operating as the front for the speakeasy meant that they did keep much longer hours than most ordinary second-hand bookshops would.

“Great! Well, it was nice to meet you Riza. I’ll see you soon.”

Riza found herself looking forward to it in spite of herself.

Roy came back into the shop a few minutes after Rebecca left, and Riza had to laugh.

“Were you literally just hiding around the corner until she went away?”

“No! Well. Maybe.”

Riza snorted. “There’s no need, I’m fairly sure she’s harmless. She’s a journalist for the Herald.”

“Journalists are in no way harmless, Riza.”

“You know what I mean. Harmless to you physically. She’s not going to bite you, and from our conversation, I’m sure she’s safe for this place as well.”

“The sixth sense wasn’t tingling then?”

“You know me, Roy. I’m naturally suspicious of everyone. But I think Rebecca could be a friend to us.”

“That’s good.” Roy looked at her. “Do you think she could be a friend to you?”

Riza didn’t reply straight away, mulling everything over in her mind. The idea of having friends who weren’t linked to the speakeasy or didn’t come through Roy was a nice one, despite the voice in the back of her mind that kept telling her that she didn’t deserve nice things like that.

“I… I think so. I don’t know. I would like that.”

“Go for it and see where it takes you. It’ll be good for you to get out of here once in a while and have some friends who aren’t here for the alcohol.”

“I know. I was thinking the same thing. The trouble is that I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“It’s still early days yet. Maybe there isn’t another shoe. We live in a world of mistrust and subterfuge and paranoia, but there are still decent people out there.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Riza leaned back in her chair. “Optimism hasn’t always been the best colour on me. It feels weird.”

“I agree that sometimes optimism can be dangerous in the circumstances we’re in. But it can be exhausting to be cynical all the time, and you deserve some normality in your life.”

“Hmm.” Riza continued to ponder his words for a while, until Roy just left her alone with her thoughts, giving her an understanding pat on the shoulder as he went past her into the bar.

Maybe it wasn’t too late to start having friends and getting some semblance of normality into her life after all.

[migleefulmoments]

lmao Abby is losing her shit because Darren is gonna be singing White Christmas with Lea on her new Christmas album. Apparently that song is "sacred" and can only be sang by Darren and Chris. She seriously needs to get a grip.

Anonymous said: "I can be upset, I think it is a complete slap in the face. there are like 3000 christmas songs, there are THREE that are sacred.   And yes, D should have sad no." Oh look Abby doesn't approve of something Darren is doing AGAIN. Seriously she claims to be his biggest fan but yet complains about everything he does.

Man, I didn’t see this coming. I’m amazed at how deeply emotional they are about a scripted, tv-show couple and a really old song! I might understand  if Abby was a lesbian teenager and this was 2011. It was empowering for gay, lesbian and bisexual kids and young adults to turn on network tv and see people that looked liked them. But times they have a changed. Klaine and Brittana pushed boundaries, but in 2019 there are LGBTQ characters on many shows, Netflix has LGBTQ programing and Ryan Murphy continues to create shows that specifically tell LGBTQ stories-ie Pose and he has created LGBTQ characters for all of his shows because that’s life. He’s continues to normalize LGBTQ characters on his shows: 911 has a main character who is a married lesbian, The Politician has gay characters and its been reported that Rock Hudson will be a character in Hollywood. 

So here we are in 2019 and Abby is devastated that the sacred White Christmas will be covered by Darren and Lea on her new Christmas album. First off, why is the song sacred? Abby mentioned the “Bryant Park riot”-a riot we know never happened. The people “holding the fandom together” were not in the cc fandom when Chris and Darren filmed in Bryant Park. Their “memories” of that day have all been created by watching a few moments of the 11-hour day. I’ve come to realize that the cc theory is built on slowed-down gifs and screenshots. Reality looks nothing like cc so they manipulate the facts to fit their needs. It’s a powerful method because it is so easy to con people into believing inane facts. I am sure that Abby and Flowers and Cassie and Leka fully believe everything they hold near and dear about CrissColfer.  It’s all a lie but they fully believe they are throwing out tried-and-true proven facts. Abby in particular is really baffled why we can’t see what she see. The difference between them and us is that we don’t listen with our eyes. We don’t get information about Darren and Mia by piecing together gifs. That’s it-gifs and screenshots from videos! Can you imagine if a lawyer a police officer  used a gif as evidence? 

Nobody set out to con the tinhatters into believing a fantasy that doesn’t exits-in fact, nobody is conning the fandom-they are conning themselves. They don’t look at the  evidence and form an opinion- they literally create the evidence. Zoom in a photo until you can crop out what you need or clip 1-2 seconds from a longer video, slow it down, add some text and suddenly *BAM* you have proof! Proof with all the drama and emotion to make it feel so much more important than it was. 

How the shit hit the fan:

Leka:

jaci3

I will definitely be purchasing this album! So much talent! Cynthia!! Darren!! Jonathan and Lea!!

notes-from-nowhere

I’m going to take this as a good news👍🏻

ajw720

But no, no, no no. Do not get me wrong, I am thrilled D is on the album, but no, no, no, not a K/laine song. Why?  There are so many Christmas songs out in the world and they chose a K/laine song?  

I have no interest, it can never live up.

I hate 2019.

DRAMA MUCH?

Thanks, but it’s a hard pass for me.

ajw720

I actually have tears in my eyes. This feels like a complete slap in the face. Sorry, but it is and it should not have been this song and I don’t care what you believe, Those songs are sacred to the K/laine fandom whether you think he is married to her or with C or something completely different.  

How many Christmas songs are there to choose from? If she wanted WC, she could have sang it with someone else.

With you @cassie1022 hard pass.  It may seem silly to be this upset about something, but this actually makes me angry.  I feel like K/laine fans are being discarded. That is his LEGACY, something he should be proud of, through that character and that pairing, he and C made a difference, and I do not understand why it needs to constantly be chipped away.  

I have to say the thing that strikes me the most is how obtuse she is about what Glee was the end. It was a mess. I loved Glee but most of the fun by the end was the amazing fanfiction, Fanon Klaine and fandom itself. It was fun to get the song sneak peeks and BTS photos and videos. It was amazing to be a part of a fandom of people who loved what I did. It is amazing to be part of the Chris and Darren stanclub.  But Glee...it was a disaster. .

Leka proves some context for “White Christmas is Sacred” and notice how how many are gifs: 

leka-1998

Excuse you.

WC is so much more than just a song.

(She does know this is a scripted moment right? Darren didn’t actually travel to NYC from Lima with Chris’s dad and someone told him when to skate, what to say, what to sing.). 

“It’s been a whirlwind, but amazing. We got to film at the ice skating rink in Bryant Park, which was just incredible. It was one of the best filming experiences I’ve ever had.”

- Ch/ris Col/fer

(Yes, Darren laid down on the carpet and took a picture of Chris which was  about the most cc thing that happened in 11 hours)

(I have no doubt that these three gifs were created from 1 or 2 seconds of real-time video. These images created the false impression that they spent the day together, gleefully skating and being intimate. Not too long ago, I read a cc post that claimed “Darren spent the day taking care of Chris”.  No, not true- see the videos below for a more realistic representation of the day). )  

#truly this really upsets me

(I guess she is reminding us of how much they mean to the world- eye roll.)  

I tried finding a long video on YouTube-ideally much of the day or even just big chucks of the day but *surprise* nobody bothered to upload that snooze fest. If the day was actually the cc riot the posse believes it was, there would be an 11-hour complication video.

I did find some video that accurately represents what I remember. Basically just imagine 11 hours of the following: 

Chris was pretty shaky when they started skating but by the time they filmed, he was much better. I cannot imagine being on skates for 11- shaky- hours.

Chris skating alone, trying to get more comfortable with skating before filming.

That’s it! That s the totality of what is posted on YouTube from the “Riot”.

The conversation continues; 

Anonymous asked:

White Christmas is literally one of the most cliché christmas songs. The album is just Lea's favorites. Darren has sung White Christmas before and he sounded amazing so it's only natural she would invite him to sing it with her. I get the a lot of things can be frustrating, but good god you all being THIS upset about it is the reason why everyone mock our fandom. It's not even baby it's could outside. At least we know for sure chris is going to be mentioned at some point during the promo.

ajw720 answered: (in victim mode)

Why do you care if I am this upset?  Seriously, let them mock me, they have blogs dedicated to hating me and posts multiple times a day.  I am over it, they are the ones with the sad lives who actually give me power.  

(Nope, not dedicated to “hating you”, I simply debunk your “facts” and “proof” beaus they are not evidence of CrissColfer; Yes, this is unfortunately a negative side effect to disproving your lies- you don’t care if the attention is negative or positive- you just like the attention. But pointing out the lies and misinformation is more important to me ) 

I can be upset, I think it is a complete slap in the face. there are like 3000 christmas songs, there are THREE that are sacred.   And yes, D should have sad no.  We sit here and swallow everything, including having “D” himself mock and yell at our fandom on SM.  And I virtually defend everything he does, probably to a fault, including holding out that person as his wife. This was easily avoidable.

(well at least you acknowledge that Darren calls out your fandom for their bad behavior on social media. Now would be a good time to really analyze why you think that is. Really sit down and think about why Darren would mock your fandom without a gif or a screenshot to zoom in on. What would drive him to be angry at a ccer?) . 

Sorry, not sorry, don’t like, post on your own blog and stop reading mine if you don’t like the way i represent. Happy to pace the torch. 

(Wow she is happy to pass the torch? Right. ) 

notes-from-nowhere

(Notes comes in and tries to soothe Abby’s fragile nerves).

So, I feel the need to say something. I’m not that much upset for the song mostly because I think it may be the song D picked out if those presented to him so I don’t fully like the idea but it could have been worse. At least all of the involved knows the meaning of the song.

What bothers me though is this kind of attitude, anon. This urgency to come here and to tell to another person what/how/when she should feel about something. Trying to put a weight on it or to dismissed the rightfulness of her feelings.

If this is how she (and everyone else) feels about this, she has the right and the freedom to say it out loud without having to face someone else’s judgement because maybe she has another opinion.

(and the anon has the right to say what she feels-see how that works?)

There are different ways to approach a person to communicate so please next time, think better.

ajw720

Thank you @notes-from-nowhere, hard to believe, the above was at least more respectful than this anon:

This is why I left the fucking fanbase. I still very much agree with the same views and ideas that all of you have, but jesus christ, it’s a SONG. Calm down. I’m just happy whenever D does something that doesn’t envolve PBB. Getting so upset because D is singing a song that he sang with C. Maybe he’s doing it because it reminds him of the Bryant Park shoot? Maybe? Good god, everything is the apocalypse to you guys. Leaving was the best thing I’ve ever done.

I want to remind everyone, I am the one, with a handful of people, keeping this fandom alive and supporting D&C daily,. And just like i can praise them, i can tell them when they hurt me.  This hurt. Maybe I am being overly dramatic and if this was isolated, i would say yes. This is not isolated, it is a continued effort to erase K/laine and CC.  As has been pointed out, not only did they offend K/laine fans in general, it is a knock at our fandom who still to this day celebrate the skating riot.

(Oh lord, she reminds us she is the HBIC, sacrificing everything to keep the fandom together. I love that she believes this is “supporting D&C daily”. Nobody needs to be told the suck everyday.  She support them and so she can criticize them but nonnie cannot criticize her. That makes perfect sense) 

Again literally THOUSANDS of songs to choose from.  Not even sure why L would EVER want to compete with C, but in this case, the fault doesn’t lie with her.  D should have said no.  

(I don’t think Lea is too worried about putting up her vocal chops against Chris’.  The both have great voices)

I am not going to say anything else and just accept that yet another of D’s 2019 projects is something i won’t ever see or hear.  

(once again it’s all about her and her hurt feelings. But this response is at least rationale-if you don’t like the project- skip it. It isn’t Darren’s responsibly to provide 100% Abby approved content)   

I really hope things are going to change, I really, really do.

(But they aren’t..they really aren’t.  This is Darren’s life and I know it’s super stressful because you are trying to hard to make his life work with yours and it just won't You both have very conflicting and opposing goals for Darren’s life. Here’s a protip: Go on a gif-free and zoomed-photo-free diet for a few months. Analyze the information at face value. Learn what PR really means and see how things look.If for no other reason than your own sanity. Stop trying to shove the square peg in the round hole 

#please do not send any more asks on this topic

#i am very upset

ajw720

My feelings aside, WHY in the world would LM EVER want to compete with this? Sorry, but it won’t be half as good. Stupid move and that is trying to remove my bias.

(Her thought processes never ceases to amaze me. Abby and Trump- they start criticizing and they just can’t stop. Lea gets to make her own decisions about what songs she sings, who she’s competitive with, whether she wants to take a chance and put herself out there or not. It just isn’t anyone else’s business. Chris has a beautiful voice but Lea has a stunning voice-she isn’t worried. This is right up there with her criticisms of TSG’s air conditioning, drink names, theme nights and every comment she’s made about a bar she will never go to. 

[i-have-a-wonky-eye-too]

Hi could I request a Chris Evans x reader where the reader has a southern accent. And just fluff pls and thank you even if you can’t write this

Sorry it’s taken some time to write up but had to do some research for this one. I hope ya’ll like it!

You’re an idiot, but I like you anyway!

You followed your brother, squeezing your tiny body in between the stacks and stacks of sweaty men, that were shouting and chanting as you made your way to what you hoped were your seats. “I don’t know why you braht me, Jack.” you huffed as you sat in the seat he was pointing to.

“Because I had a spare ticket and you’re in town. What would you rather me have done, left you back at mine?” he frowned at me.

You nodded. “Uh-huh.” you folded your arms over your chest with a pout. “I don’t know what you’re meant to do at a baseball-”

“Football, Y/N, how many more times? Foot…ball.” Jack huffed in frustration. “And, you don’t do anything. You just sit, watch, drink beer and cheer.” he explained. “You’ll love, I swear.”

You shook your head. “How can I enjoy something when, I don’t even know who the heck to cheer for?” you asked.

“Patriots!” the guy next to you grinned. You raised your eyebrow at him, completely lost as to what a ‘Patriot’ was. “M’sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear.” he smiled softly at you.

You nodded glancing round to Jack, only finding him no longer paying attention to you. So, you turned back to the rather handsome ‘stranger’. “Patriots?” you questioned. He nodded grinning at you. “And, that is?” you shrugged.

He raised his arm, pointing to the team in blue. “The greatest team, alive.” he grinned turning his attention back to you.

You nodded, smiling. “Why, do I have to support them? Aren’t both teams the same-” he cover my mouth with his hand, hushing me with his other.

He looked around quickly before speaking. “Don’t say that too loud, or you’ll start a riot.” he teased after removing his hand. “And besides, it’s the rules to support Patriots if you’re in Boston and not from around here.” he smiled again. You couldn’t help but think how beautiful his smile was.

You nodded smiling. “Oh, the rules… and, who says so?” you challenged him with your own smirk.

He chuckled as he held his hand out to you. “Chris Evans.” you shook his hand and introduced yourself all the time smiling. “So, Y/N, why are you here in Boston if not to see the best football team around, play?” Chris asked as he looked down to the field where the game had started.

“Visitin’ my brother.” you smiled as you gestured to Jack before looking back down to the game.

“Visiting from where?” Chris asked as he took a quick glance your way. A small smile crept onto his face when he saw you watching the game.

“Dallas, Texas.” you answered briefly. To be honest you were kinda enjoying it. Mostly for the sweaty men in tight pants that were running around.

“Wow, you’re a long way from home.” he stated.

You nodded. “Oh, believe me darlin’, I know.” you glanced at him with a small grin. As ‘your’ team scored a touchdown you jumped up along with Jack and Chris cheering. “So, what are you doing here?” you asked him.

“I live here.” he chuckled. You turned you head giving him a knowing look. “You know, who I am, don’t you?”

You nodded biting your lip. “A little. Don’t worry, I’m not a crazed fan, to be honest… I’m more a Hemsworth, fan.” you teased with a wink, turning your attention back to the game. Chris just laughed it off, hoping that wasn’t entirely true.

As time passed you’d gotten a little bored of trying to make sense of everything so you returned to your phone. “You know, for a Patriots fan, you don’t seem to enjoy seeing your team winning.” Chris leaned over into you.

You looked up from your phone shrugging. “No idea what’s goin’ on.”

“Well, maybe if you weren’t on your phone, you would.” he smirked.

“Actually, I was fixin’tuh find the rules.” you smied holding your phone up to show him you were in fact searching for football rules. Chris took this as opportunity to snatch your phone out of your grasp, chuckling as he did. “Hey!” you whined, trying to get it back off him.

“You can have it back at the end.” he winked as he slipped your phone into his jeans pocket.

You sighed sitting back into your seat. “How am I supposed to enjoy it when I ain’t got no idea of understanding?” you frowned up at him.

Chris sighed rolling his eyes. “Look, all you’ve got to know is the players who have the ball, have to make it from that end, to that and score a touchdown.” he pointed as he explained. “Okay?”

I nodded smirking. “I think so, thank you.”

“No problem.” Chris smiled turning his attention back to the game. “Now look-” he suddenly placed his hand on your knee. Your skin tingled at the spot where his hand had made contact with your bare skin. “Look.”

You nodded following the ball with your eyes, slowly getting excited. You jumped up cheering once again with Chris and everybody as a touchdown was scored. As the game went on, the more the crowd got rowdy, to a point some rough housing started.

You shook your head with a frown as you watched a couple of middle-aged men begin to push each other. “Well, that boy is madder than a wet hen.” you stated. Chris chuckled as he leaned back in his seat, his arm sliding across the back of yours casually. You smiled softly to yourself as he felt his presence. Another fight broke out only this was behind you and bottles were being thrown. “Is it always like this?” you asked looking at Jack.

He shook his head sighing. “Not always, Patriots fans are usually quite peaceful.” he frowned before he began shouting. “Y/N, look out.” the pair of you ducked as a bottle came hurdling towards you. You felt a pair of strong arms wrap around you protectively, covering your head.

“Fuck!” Chris shouted above you.

You lifted yourself from under him to see what had happened but it didn’t take a genius to work out he’d received a bottle to the head. You covered your mouth trying not to be too loud. “Shit.” you gasped as you saw the blood begin to trickle. “Jack, go get a medic’s attention.”

“Y/N, I can’t-”

“NOW!” you shouted. His eyes widened as he nodded frantically. “Chris sit back-” you placed your hands on his shoulders pushing him a little. He nodded as he did, hissing at the pain. “Don’t move your head, it’ll hurt.”

“Ma’am, not to be rude but, do you know what you’re doing to my brother?” a man asked from Chris’ side.

You chuckled nodding. “Believe it or not but I’m a nurse.” you reassured him. He nodded taking a deep breath, physically relaxing a bit.

“Holy shit!” Chris gasped.

“What? Are you hurt somewhere else?” your hands began working over his body to double check. His muscles contracting under your touch.

He shook his head hissing. “No, no… I’m fine. I was just- you’re a nurse?” he asked, a small smirk taking to his lips. You nodded smiling at him as you pulled off your jumper and poured some of your bottled water on it. “Fuck… I think I have concussion… cause, all I can see, is you in is a sexy nurse’s uniform.” he chuckled making you laugh and blush a little.

“Ohmygod.” his brother rolled his eyes looking away. You shook your head laughing at the pair, trying not to hurt him. “What is wrong with you? This lovely lady is trying to help, and you’re being a creep.” he scolded Chris, only making you laugh even more.

Chris glanced up at  me before looking at his brother. “I’m not being a creep, I was just saying I think I have concussion.” he chuckled. “And… she’s hot, with her sexy, southern accent… damn!” Chris closed his eyes briefly as he took a deep breath.

You laughed shaking your head. “Bless your heart.” You smirked. “It might not be concussion if you’re lucky.” you winked at him before resuming your attention on his head. Chris smiled as he happily waited for the medic’s. Five minutes passed before the medics arrived to take over Chris, thanking you for your assistance. Chris had to be taken down to be cleaned up and stitch so he had to leave before the game was over.

Things soon settled down and the game was in it’s last stages when you heard your name being shouted from the stairs. You turned round to see Chris’ brother running down them towards you. “Y/N, thank God.” he smiled. “Chris forgot he had this in his pocket, weirdo.” he handed you your phone back. “I gotta go, he’s gotta go have a scan.”

You took a deep breath nodding. Even though you kinda guessed he’d end up going to hospital, you were still worried about him. “Of course, I hope he’s okay.” you smiled up at him.

He nodded smiling. “Thank you, hopefully see you around.” he winked with smile before disappearing.

“What was all that about?” Jack asked. You shrugged looking down to your phone with a smile. “What?” Jack nudged you.

“Let’s have a photo, Jackie.” you held your phone out to fit the both of you in. He rolled his eyes before he placed his arm around your back, smiling with you. “Aw, I’ll send it to mama. She’ll love it.”

“She’ll worry, Y/N.” Jack stated as he watched the last run of the game. He was right, even though we were fine, she’d always worry.. “YES!” Jack cheered standing up. “Patriots rule! 45/21.” he grinned down at me. “C’mon, we’ll go out to dinner to celebrate… Y/N?” Jack tapped my arm.

You stared at your phone with a warm smile on your face. Chris had taken some pictures with it. In each one he was pulling a silly face and holding up a different amount of fingers. It confused you at first but you realised it was him giving you his number.

“Y/N?”

You nodded grinning. “Yeah, dinner sounds great. You paying?”

——-

Y/N: How’s the head, Human-shield? :)

Evans: Human-torch.

   Get it right!

   But better, after having my very own sexy nurse looking after me :D

Y/N: In your dreams!

Evans: I think it was…

   Enjoy the game?

Y/N: I did, thank you

Evans: Who won? Need I ask…

Y/N: You. 45/21 Well done!!

Evans: I did…yes!

   Want to come celebrate? ;)

Y/N: Next time, just bring Hemsworth with you! ;P

Evans: Anything for you, darlin’ xx

[welcometowcwmondaynitro]

WCW Monday Nitro 22/07/1996

WCW opens this week with a shot of Mickey Mouse...

Because why not, I guess. As Tony welcomes us to the program we get a better image of the entrance area:

Probably should have opened with that instead of Mickey to be honest, but what do I know?

We’re treated to a shot on Tony and Larry Z with a VERY excited guy to their left.

That dude is ready for some WCW action. Going to be brutally honest and say neither of those shirts do Larry or Tony any favours.

Schaivone talks about the Olympic Games and Muhammad Ali lightning the torch at the opening ceremony. They then show video of Bishcoff giving a cheque to Ali at Halloween Havoc 1994, for a charity of some kind I assume.

Ali in his prime would have been 100% nWo, for the record. 

As Tony continues to go on about this, there are two ladies in the crowd looking very confused:

Like the cameraman is actually an alien or something.

They then switch to Shaq with Hogan, for some reason...

Again, from years ago. Not sure what relevance this has to the current program. Shaq looks like he’s just realised Jimmy Hart is squeezing his ass, though.

Tony says they will have an answer tonight from the Giant as to whether he’ll accept Hogan’s challenge for the Hog Wild PPV on August 10th. Larry says the Dungeon of Doom will force the Giant to defend his title against Hogan. Because you obviously can’t say no to Sullivan and those stupid, painted on eyebrows.

They show the Outsiders’ bedsheet stunt from last week (it’s amazing how much of the Outsiders they show on this program, considering they apparently don’t want them there).

Our first match begins 3 minutes and 30 seconds into the program. The Blue Bloods music is playing and I’m hoping it’s No Fucks Given Steven Regal, but unfortunately it’s just Squire Dave Taylor along with Jeeves. 

Tony says this is “the hottest ticket in Orlando”, which is funny as I’m not sure the people there actually paid for tickets. I could be wrong but I think they were just allowed in as general park guests.   

Next out is the eternally pissed off Scott Norton. The commentators tell us that Ice Train Vs Scott Norton has been signed for Hog Wild, on the basis of last week’s argument I guess.

 “Squire” Dave Taylor Vs Scott Norton

The Squire is the bad guy here, pretty much just because he isn’t American. The crowd chant “USA” at the start of the match to confirm Taylor is not welcome. This match consists largely of Taylor hitting about twenty european uppercuts whilst running into Norton a few times and falling over. Then this happens. 

Taylor is thrown over the top rope onto the floor. No big deal, right? WRONG. The ref calls for the fucking bell and disqualifies Norton. There is no crowd reaction whatsoever. This was a total waste of time for all involved.

“Squire” Dave Taylor defeats Scott Norton via Disqualification.

The pair of them brawl on the outside for a while as Tony and Larry finally catch up to the fact Norton has been disqualified, as if the bell ringing constantly wasn’t a big enough indicator. 

Norton carries Taylor on his back past the announce team, including the silent blonde woman, and they all duck to avoid being hit by Taylor’s boot or Norton’s girth. Taylor then just kind of falls off Norton’s back and rolls onto the floor. The referee declares Taylor the winner, and he’s very pleased with this. 

Wonderful. Jeez, have only 7 minutes of this show gone by so far?

IRS, aka VK Wallstreet, is cutting a pre-taped promo for his upcoming match against Konnan.

You’ve gotta love the dollar symbol on his jacket. Just to let you know he’s all about money.

Anyway, he tells Konnan that “VK Wallstreet knows international markets and knows international superstars”, he calls K-Dogg the “kingpin of Mexico” but that there’s going to be a “hostile takeover” and Konnan had better be ready. He says this with all the intensity of an infomercial about the benefits of herbal soap.

We come back and Mean Gene is with Arn Anderson, Mongo, Benoit, Debra, Woman and Liz.

They’ve set up that fucking VIP area again. WHY CANDLESTICKS? IT’S STILL LIGHT AND THEY AREN’T EVEN LIT. WHY A MASSIVE PINEAPPLE AND A BIG BOWL OF FRUIT? 

Well, at lest they’re using the area I suppose. Gene asks where Flair is. Anderson says it might be a question in Gene’s mind but it isn’t in any of theirs. He says Flair likes expensive cars and beautiful women, but that he likes one thing more than anything else. Gene says “he likes to showboat” and Arn continues “he likes to make an entrance”. I suppose that’s broadly the same thing. Arn says Flair will be here “right on cue” then takes a bite out of an apple. 

Doesn’t look very tasty.

Gene switches to Mongo and says he’s got his work cut out for him tonight. Mongo yells “OH! Thank you Mean Gene” and says it’s been his pleasure to “take care of a few pretty boys in the WCW” and now he gets a shot at the “real pretty boys” in Macho, Luger and Sting. One of those three fits that description a lot less than the others. Mongo is certainly happy though.

Okerlund suggests to Benoit that Sting, Luger and Macho Man might take out their frustrations regarding the nWo on the Horsemen tonight. Chris Benoit says the three of them will experience the crippler first hand, “unrelentless, vicious, merciless. Silent but violent”

Not sure what the fuck Arn is doing with his face here - did he bite into a sour part of the apple? - but for the record “unrelentless” isn’t a word. You could tell Benoit knew he’d fucked up as he paused briefly after saying it... but it was too late. 

Gene gets a bit too comfortable and asks Mongo for a banana. Mongo pretends to throw it at Gene, who reacts like Mongo is about to chuck a rock at him.

Arn is also holding up a banana. 

Our second match is set to begin. 

Why this guy is wrestling rather than checking the stock market or whatever else is beyond me. There’s an “IRS” chant as he comes out. 

Next out is Konnan looking... colourful.

I swear these guys both came out to the exact same generic, plodding instrumental rock song. Most people are cheering Konnan, but...

Check out the guy on the right. He is booing and giving the thumbs down to Konnan as aggressively as he possibly can. He looks fucking enraged. There is a sharp contrast in style between him and the three beside him. 

Konnan Vs VK Wallstreet

Larry says that Konnan wants the US title back because “he might not get back into the country without it”. It’s not a green card, Larry. 

There’s a fat kid in the front row entertaining himself by doing poses.

In fairness the match is nothing to get excited about. 

VK “IRS” Wallstreet dominates the match and spends the bulk of it working on Konnan’s leg. At one point Larry starts talking about putting women in their place again, but Tony shuts it down straight away. 

Fat kid and his mother or father (can’t really tell) are waving at the camera a lot. 

Well at least they’re having fun I guess. Dat Marvin the Martian t-shirt.

There’s a lot of rest holds in this one. Fairly sure I heard some “boring” chants. 

Match ends when Wallstreet hits Konnan with a samoan drop (which Tony calls the “Wall Street Crash” - geddit?) but then Konnan rolls him up for the pin and this one is over.

Konnan defeats VK Wallstreet via Pin.

Okerlund is back with Sting, Luger and the Macho Man.

Sting is half-hopping on one leg like he forgot to take a piss before he came out. 

Gene notes to Lex Luger that Flair isn’t here yet. Luger says Flair is “probably somewhere”. Yes, you’d hope so. Luger says that last week he got “stomped into a mudhole” (but wasn’t walked dry), “but where were (sic) everybody else? The Stinger and the Macho were in Japan”. He pauses for a moment, giving the camera a look...

Before repeating multiple times that they are here to make��“a statement” - seriously, he says this about five times in the space of a minute. 

Sting says that there’s only one guy around here who rides around here in a “big fat limo” and he can “stick it” ... Gene’s face here is hilarious.

Um...

Anyway, Sting says he doesn’t care where Flair is, he just wants to chomp on a Horseman tonight. Alrighty. 

Gene says to Savage that he knows the Horsemen very well. Macho yells that he just wants to fight everybody and get it over with in one night. Oh, Macho, if only you knew.

Another Glacier promo airs. It’s funny because the original promos said “Glacier - coming July 1996″, then it changed to “Glacier - coming soon” and now it just says “Glacier”. From what I remember he debuted in September, so... yeah. Not sure what the delay was other than the realisation Glacier was a really shit concept... but I suppose after all the money spent on vignettes they felt they had to put him out there. We’ll get to that.

Tony says we’re about to see a “brand new 8-man tag”, as if that hasn’t been done before, then there’s a vignette on the participants. It starts with the four of them just... standing on some bridge, whilst generic rock music plays.

I think that’s “jobber” Jim Powers on the right, aloof from the group. He’s way too cool to be standing around with those dorks. Then Powers is walking towards us on the sand taking his shirt off, so we’re now essentially watching Baywatch...

He throws down the t-shirt aggressively, like he’s angry, but we don’t know what he’s angry about. Did he open the fridge and find that his last can of tuna had been eaten? Did he find his girlfriend cheating on him with another dude? Did another wrestler steal his “happy juice”? We’ll never know. I’ve just realised Powers is what would happen if you fused early 90′s Scott Steiner with Rhyno. 

Anyhow, we basically see the exact same shots of Joe Gomez, Alex Wright and the Renegade. Close ups of their faces followed by them walking towards us on the sand taking their shirts off whilst the same generic rock music plays. WCW does realise this show is watched largely by men, right? I mean, I’m sure some guys enjoyed that, but I can’t help but think the general demographic isn’t going to be enthused by these guys posing like they’re in a crossover between Baywatch and a boy band video.

The original JOB squad. 

We thankfully cut back to the arena (where that same fucking song still is playing) and Tony says this will be a “wild and woolly” eight man tag. I’m pretty sure only half of that description makes sense. 

Schiavone tells us a “new member” of the Dungeon of Doom is about to be revealed in this eight man tag. This should be good. Sullivan did say he wanted to bring “all athletes” into the Dungeon so maybe it’ll be Linford Christie. 

Three members of the DoD come out (along with Jimmy Hart), then suddenly a ginger guy wearing stereotypical old Irish clothes comes running out. As he sprints around the ring baring his teeth like a rabid dog, Tony says that he’s called “the leprechaun”. 

I mean, it’s not worse than “the Shark”, but for goodness sake. It’s basically a normal-sized version of Hornswoggle acting like he has the infection from 28 Days Later. This guy is better known as Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker and was one of the main trainers at the WCW Power Plant. This was clearly a demonstration of how some gimmicks will leave you dead on arrival.

The Original JOB Squad Vs The Dungeon of Doom

We are literally about ten seconds into the match before Tony says “there’s a disturbance in the back” and the cameraman literally turns away from the ring and starts running towards the backstage area. Because fuck the match. Some asshole is constantly blowing a whistle, also, which is annoying as hell.

We see a bit more of the match before cutting again to the back.

Hard to see in the dark light but basically the Outsiders have entered the production truck, which evidently has absolutely no security in place whatsoever. It’s amazing how Hall and Nash are pretty much able to do as they please with no security there to try and intervene. 

The Outsiders make the screen fade to black in and out. Tony and Larry are asking how and why Hall and Nash are able to waltz in and just start fucking around with a pretty huge TV show’s live production. Good questions.

Hall and Nash put in headsets and start directing camera shots. Obviously as the TV cameras are actually focused on them they are literally affecting nothing, but... whatever. They look like they’re having a lot of fun, and in fairness this is probably more entertaining than the match going on in the ring.

We do start seeing random crowd pans. 

This kid’s tank top appears to be a few sizes too big. It’s literally falling off him. At first I thought it said “milf” along the top but I don’t think it does. I’m fairly sure that wasn’t a term in 1996. Those were more innocent days. 

WCW yellowshirt security finally arrives and calmly ushers the Outsiders out of the production truck, telling them “we’re trying to do a show”. No shit. 

We go back to the match, which Tony calls “high impact”. We wouldn’t know because we’ve literally seen nothing of it. Schiavone is getting more and more upset by the Outsiders being at “master control”, as he keeps calling it, and says “it’s a crime”. Well... yes, it probably is. 

As Jim “Jobber” Powers stands around outside the ring...

Holla! Teddy Long comes out and informs him next week on Nitro HE’S GOING ONE ON ONE WITH... no, no he doesn’t. We can’t really hear what he’s saying because Zybszko is yelling, asking why Long is out there. 

Powers is fired up by whatever Teddy says and starts cleaning house on the Dungeon. The match breaks down, then out comes the Giant.

He chokeslams the Renegade, Gomez, Powers and “Junior Hitler” Alex Wright. The jobbers are disposed of, the match is obviously thrown out.

The Original JOB Squad defeat The Dungeon of Doom via Disqualification.

Giant accepts a well deserved round of applause for ending that match.

Okerlund rushes to the ring to get involved. He tells Jimmy Hart “you scare me... especially when you’re behind me like that.”

OK. By the way, check out the back of Jimmy’s jacket.

Now if the Taskmaster actually made the effort to put that facepaint on then he’d actually look slightly less stupid. Instead he just chucks on a couple of silly eyebrows and says “that’ll do”. Put a little pride in your work, Sullivan.

Gene asks Giant whether or not he’ll accept Hogan’s challenge for Hog Wild. Giant says that when he came into WCW it was his mission to win the World Heavyweight Championship, and he did that. He said once he won the title he “swore an oath” to defend the belt wherever he needed to defend it. That’s kind of how it works when you’re a champion anyway, but sure. 

Giant says that whilst Hogan has been off in Hollywood making movies and trying to win an Oscar (lol), he’s been wreaking havoc as the “cancer” of WCW. Giant says that once the nWo turned up WCW came running to him, asking what they can do about the nWo. Giant says he’ll chokeslam them all in the middle of the ring. There you go. Easy solution. What was everybody so worried about? 

Gene says to Jimmy Hart that “we saw you at the top of the program with Shaquille and Hulk” ... does Okerlund realise that was in the distant past? Hart ignores Gene and simply says “Hogan, the Giant will be ready for Hog Wild”. Good to know.

The Giant has at least one supporter behind him. 

There’s an advert for WCW Saturday Night, before we cut straight back to a match. The entrances were not televised so we’ll get straight into it.

Diamond Dallas Page Vs Prince Iaukea

I had to google the Prince’s last name. Easy to say, harder to spell. It’s just a case of getting all the vowels in the right places. 

Prince is still wrestling barefoot for some reason. You would have thought somebody would have advised him to put some boots on by now. They aren’t just a fashion accessory, kid.

This match lasts a couple of minutes before Page bounces off the ropes and hits the diamond cutter.

Diamond Dallas Page defeats Prince Iaukea by Pinfall.

Chavo appears in an “up next” promo where he basically tells Dean Malenko to get ready for a fight.

Those eyes mean business.

We get a promo video on the Benoit/Sullivan feud. It focuses on Sullivan’s worrying obsession with taking his opponents to the men’s restroom. No comment.

Chavo Jr is out... no name graphic, though.

For some reason these people are dancing along to Chavo’s generic rock theme...

Except the little girl in the bottom left, who looks bored beyond belief. In her defence, it’s not been a stellar night as far as matches are concerned.

Deano is out next... no name graphic for him, either. I wonder if the Outsiders legit fucked up something in the production truck? 

Chavo Guerrero Jr Vs Dean Malenko

The match begins and there are two oddities. Firstly I’m fairly sure the bell doesn’t ring to start the match, it just starts. Also the camera is panning across the crowd/nitro logo and totally misses the match starting. Good job. Maybe the Outsiders are actually still in the production truck controlling this thing.

A fast paced start to this one. Stinko eventually slows it down and starts hitting a bunch of suplexes and shit. Hour two is about to start and Tony has to remind us about the countdown because the little dynamite count down stick that’s usually in the bottom right corner is not there. I guess they really can’t get any on screen graphics up!

Fireworks go off and Eric Bischoff comes screaming through the audio as if he’s yelling to us from the end of a telephone line. They eventually get this under control, and Bischoff is way more enthusiastic than Tony was towards the end of that first hour.

Bischoff says that Heenan looks nervous, and although Heenan starts to talk you can’t actually hear him. He’s wayyyy in the background. Looks like production glitches aren’t just limited to the onscreen graphics. Some kind of gong sound affect briefly cuts off Bischoff before Heenan comes roaring into commentary on an unnecessarily high volume. 

Malenko continues to work over Chavo as a lone person chants “boooring”. It really isn’t. The match is decent enough. 

I’m telling you, that fat kid and the people who I assume are his family must be some of the most annoying people on the planet judging by how they’re acting like the front row. They’ve spent most of the show waving at the camera, making stupid poses and pretending to ‘fight’ each other. See example below: 

To be fair to the guy on the far left, he’s not really getting so involved with it, but mustache, pink shirt and the chubby funster are just acting like idiots nonstop. Check out the expression of the kid sitting next to fatso:

Yeah. I feel for you.

Malenko has Chavo in this hold for a while, as fireworks randomly start going off. 

Towards the end of the match Jimmy Hart randomly appears to start shotuing encouragement to Malenko. It wasn’t really needed as Malenko has been in pretty much total control for 95% of the match anyway. 

Malenko gets distracted by the mouth of the south, which allows Chavo to sneak up from behind and nearly get the roll-up victory.

But he only gets a two count. Chavo then attempts an inside cradle for another two count.

Match ends when Chavo jumps off the top turnbuckle, but is caught in mid-air by Malenko, slammed to the mat and then wrapped into the Texas Cloverleaf. Game over. 

Dean Malenko defeats Chavo Guerrero Jr via Submission. 

Bischoff continues to hype up Hog Wild with the tagline of one million bikers and you, or whatever. They all get in free so no gate receipts for WCW. Great idea. 

Meng is yelling largely unintelligible stuff. Jimmy Hart tells Ice Train that after he faces Meng he’ll be “cold as ice”. So, dead then? 

We’re back with Bobby and Eric, who says the Outsiders were “slippery enough” to get into the production truck. I mean... come on. Look at them. Two guys over six and a half feet. They aren’t ghosting in there, are they? It’s just lack of security. 

Eric then starts talking about the Giant/Hogan match, he says “talk is cheap, Hogan, and so are you”. There’s a lot of accusations you can level at the Hulkster, brother, but being cheap certainly isn’t one of them. Dude was one on hell of a wedge. 

We’re onto the next match, out comes Ice Train...

Bischoff reckons Ice Train could be one of “the brightest stars in the years to come”. Not quite, Eric, not quite. They’ve at least got the on screen graphics back up, so that’s something. I do love how happy Ice Train looks when he comes out though.

You get the feeling he’s just a super positive guy. 

The crowd are apparently loving the Train...

Except the little girl in the right. I think she’s actually crying. “No more jobbers, please”.

His opponent is Meng.

Get the feeling this one could be quite a stiff match. Ice Train is an absolute tank and Meng is... well, Meng. Speaking of Meng, Eric Bischoff says that “one hundred years ago, these people were cannibals”. I’m not sure that’s true. Apparently Tonga was known as “the friendly islands” when first discovered by European settlers and that was in 1773. It wasn’t the amazon jungle. 

Ice Train Vs Meng

Ice Train starts off this match with some impressive agility, managing a leapfrog over Meng and hitting him with a flying cross body. 

That is one heavy collision. 

Teddy is out here again, watching the match. This guy is all over the place recently. 

Meng and Train exchange some brutal chops outside the ring, before they get back inside and Train takes control. Meng swings momentum back his way and hits a huge leg drop. Meng pretty much continues to dominate. The match is very slow, as you might imagine. 

The match ends when Meng and Train are fighting on the outside, and suddenly Scott Norton appears and attacks Meng.

Norton rams Meng’s head into the ringpost and that’s a DQ.

Meng defeats Ice Train via Disqualification. 

Norton yells into the camera that he’s got Ice Train’s back, and Train won’t have to worry about anything until Hog Wild.

Could have just told him face-to-face, he’s literally a few feet away, but OK. Also not sure how this is watching Train’s back, he just got the guy disqualified. It’s not like Train was being double-teamed by the Dungeon. 

A promo airs of Hogan’s heel turn at the Bash of the Beach and subsequent events, with an attempt at dramatic storytelling by some guy. He asks “who’s next to join the New World Order?” 

Up next...

Eddie says to never underestimate a person, even after you’ve beaten them. Um... well, by that point it doesn’t really matter, does it? I guess he means in the subsequent rematch. 

We then get another Glacier promo. The same one as earlier in the night. They could have at least made two or three to help add variety. 

Now it’s a promo for Hog Wild. Jeez... are we ever going back to the arena? 

Finally, out comes Psychosis.

He has cool music. I can remember thinking Psychosis in general was a decent wrestler with an interesting look. A shame he never really did anything useful in WCW.

Eddie it out and he gets a random burst of pyro from the top of the set. 

Eddie Guerrero Vs Psychosis

Early “Eddie” chant from the crowd. 

Fast chain wrestling to open the bout. It continues in typical lucha fashion. Eddie clotheslines Psychosis over the top rope...

That’ll be a DQ, right? It was for Scott Norton earlier. No? No. Apparently not this time. Always cool when the rules are just applied whenever it suits the storyline. Helps build consistency. 

Well anyway, Eddie flies off the top onto Psychosis...

Bischoff says this is what makes WCW the most exciting place to be. What, rules applied differently depending on the match? Sure, very exciting.

Eddie rolls Psychosis back into the ring, hits a belly-to-back suplex and gets a two. Psychosis manages to hit some offence, then gets up onto the top turnbuckle and hits a flying spin kick.

Eric says that it is “magic”. Psychosis hits a suicide dive on Eddie, then a guillotine leg drop from the top rope.

The landing looks brutal on the back and buttocks though. Bischoff mentions that Psychosis is from “Triple A” and also name drops NJPW, which is interesting, as usually they just say “Mexico” or “Japan” rather than naming specific promotions. From what I remember WCW did have a working relationship with AAA and NJPW so it makes sense for them to mention the companies. They just don’t normally do so.

Match ends when Eddie hits a frankensteiner off the top rope on Psychosis, then gets up there again and flies with the frogsplash...

Doesn’t get much air on it so the landing looks kinda rough for poor old Psychosis. Anyhow, your winner is Eddie Guerrero. 

Eddie Guerrero defeats Psychosis via Pinfall.

Eddie has possibly been the most over wrestler on the show so far. Not a high bar, granted, but still...

Ric Flair’s music hits and some random guy is peering out of the “C” of the WCW sign.

Hello.

We’ve got two horsemen and three horsewomen (?) but no Slick Ric. 

We come back from a break to this...

Arn Anderson peering through blacked out limo windows, I assume looking for Flair. I find it odd that Flair hasn’t so much as contacted his best friend to let him know where he is, and Anderson instead has to resort to trying to see through dimmed limo windows. I know this is the era before cell phones were a big thing but surely somebody could have borrowed Booker T’s huge ass phone to make a call.

Arn eventually gives up and walks to the ring. Looks like he’ll be taking Flair’s place. 

Out come Sting, Luger and Savage.

The name graphics have disappeared again, by the way. Never mind.

Bischoff is insinuating that Flair might have joined the nWo. Heenan refuses to believe it. 

Mongo, Benoit & Arn Anderson Vs Sting, Luger & Savage

Sting and the Endomorph start things. Anderson pushes Sting, who shoves Arn back. Arn goes flying like Sting smacked him with a sledgehammer. Sting gives Arn a back body drop, then Benoit enters the ring. 

Dealt with.

Macho is wearing an extremely colourful outfit.

Like somebody took a paintbrush and just went crazy. It works for him though.

Mongo hits a fairly basic neckbreaker and the commentators act like he just performed a flying headscissors. “What a move from Mongo!” yells Heenan. Yeah. He then calls Mongo “phenomenal”. I think we have very different definitions of that word, Brain.

Mongo hits one if the shittiest looking drop kicks I’ve ever seen.

Heenan goes wild, screaming “look at that drop kick out of McMichaels!” ... maybe he’s actually being sarcastic. 

We get a shot of the limo...

Did they not do this same schtick a couple of weeks back? Just ban limos from the area. Problem solved.

Benoit beats on Sting in the ring. I don’t think Luger or Savage have literally done anything yet. Sting’s done all the work. 

The Horsemen are still beating on Sting. There’s only a few minutes of the program left so we aren’t going to see much from Macho or Luger tonight. Easy money. 

After what seems like an eternity Sting FINALLY tags in Luger, who comes in and starts decking all three of the horsemen.

Luger’s body is extremely shiny. It’s really noticeable.

The match starts to break down with all six men fighting in the ring.

You know something is about to go down. The camera cuts to the women - Debra is about to throw the metal briefcase in to Mongo, but for some reason Woman grabs it before she can and they have a brief tug-of-war. The Macho Man then appears and grabs the briefcase off them.

Bad intentions.

Savage comes in with Mongo’s metal briefcase and whacks Benoit in the back with it. Luger makes the cover...

And your team of babyfaces win using decidedly heel tactics. OK. I guess if you can’t beat them, join them? The crowd are delighted either way. 

We come back after the break and Mean Gene is in the ring with Sting, Luger and Savage. Something gets thrown in the ring, Gene says “please lady, don’t throw your underwear in here. It’s in bad taste” ... at a theme park, I would say so. Jeez. Macho says “that’s OK”. He doesn’t mind.

Sting is first up. Gene asks him about the match he and Luger have against the Outsiders at Hog Wild.

For some reason Sting is holding on to the briefcase. Not a bad idea if the nWo are around in fairness. He seems to be pondering Gene’s question carefully.

Sting says that last week “the Total Package was feeling kind of beat down, you know what I’m saying?” ... well, yes, he was quite literally beaten down. A bit harsh for Sting to be making light of that but whatever. Sting says he and Luger aren’t feeling down, they’re just feeling mean. “I mean real mean”. Sting says he knows when the Outsiders’ birthdays are, and he doesn’t believe in horoscopes, and he was thumbing through the newspaper and the PPV is going to be really bad for them. The date matches Leos and that makes the Outsiders Leos... erm... 

Indeed.

Luger says that the Outsiders have been pushing all the wrong buttons since they first came onto the scene. He says they’ve done a good job of pushing the three of them over the edge. Luger screams that he’s “losing it”, he says he cares about WCW and the Outsiders have had nothing but “disgust, disdain, and sarcasm” for it. Sarcasm doesn’t seem as bad as the first two but I get where he’s going. He says that at the PPV they’ll learn what he, Sting, Macho, WCW and the fans mean. I rag on Luger sometimes but I thought he had good, intense delivery here. He can cut a good promo when he isn’t stumbling over words.

Macho Man is next.

He says he’s talking directly to Hogan (with Luger giving the evil eye in the background). Macho says he’s going to beat Hogan up in the aisle before he gets to the ring to even face the Giant at Hog Wild. You might have wanted to keep that plan to yourself, Macho. Savage says the army, the navy and the militia aren’t going to be able to stop him kicking Hogan’s head in. Not sure the navy would have anything to do with it unless the fight spills onto a boat somewhere, and what’s the difference between the army and the militia? 

Macho finishes the promo by saying “we’ve got a date, don’t be late, suckerrr!” as Luger gurns into the camera and Sting makes a weird face.

Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen.

The show ends there. So no Outsiders or Hulk Hogan. We never find out who was in the limo either. Could have just been somebody randomly parked there, terrified as the Endomorph creepily tries to peer in. 

“If I stay really still and quiet, he’ll go away eventually.”

[suedescripture]

Saturday wording

I have Sadkid!fic in the brain today. The one where I try to be “””edgy””” and write the past in present tense. Honestly, I don’t know where this is going, and this is basically het and mary-sue-ing and sparkly, slightly out-of-focus backstory, andandand I honestly don’t know how to put this brokenhearted beeb back together and neither does Zach and oh yeah the kid exists too. idk idk. I typed words for the last three hours, read them and tell me I did a good.

Tru didn’t drink,” Chris said, sliding his head sideways to grin wryly over at him, “Right? She tended bar, but she didn’t drink. Not even a beer.” The smile slid off his face as his eyes went dull at the porch boards. “Her dad was a drunk. Had her getting him cans of Bud out of the fridge when she was… barely Maia’s age. She didn’t have a lot of reasons to trust people. Men. Me.”

Zach nodded, “But she did, eventually?”

“I guess, yeah. Jesus,” Chris breathed a laugh. “Early on when we started to hang out, we went to this—a big group of people—we all went to Útila; it’s this tiny island off Honduras. They do this music fest there every year. It’s an easy way to do an island getaway with no money, so like, it was a group of twenty or so of us renting a hut just off the beach that was basically a platform and a corrugated metal roof with mosquito nets and hammocks and questionable cushions and blankets. Smarter people brought tents and shit. Anyway, she knew a couple of the people in the group, and I just knew her and I didn’t know any of the DJs and musicians, but I wasn’t gonna say no when she said I should come, you know?”

—

“This doesn’t seem like your thing,” Tru shouts over the music and the noise of the drunken crowds.

It isn’t, honestly. Chris has never been much of a concert goer, and none of these acts are in his wheelhouse. Neither is the huge crowd of people, most of them around his age, a few who ought to have aged out but possibly hippies of his parents’ era who never left really left the party life behind. Chris prefers jazz, or old Sinatra, and barring that, fall backs from his middle school grunge days. This is basically a massive rave on a tiny cay just off the island, and he’s seen more exchanges and waved-off offers of substances in the last day and night than he’s really comfortable with.

“Doesn’t seem like yours, either,” he replies loudly, tipping a bit toward her ear. She smells like Hawaiian Tropic; he’d seen her have one of the girls in their hut rub it into her back in the morning, back on the beach. She’s chilly now, he realizes, her small hands rubbing at goosebumps on her upper arms. He tries hard not to stare the perk of her nipples; she’s still only wearing a bikini from the beach and a sarong tied as a skirt around her waist. There are tiki torches and burning barrels and even fire spinners around the venue, but not much else in the Caribbean in August.

“You wanna go find a drink?” he asks, but when she looks back to remind him she doesn’t, he shrugs, “Maybe someone will have tea or cider or something.”

The bartenders don’t have anything warm, of course, but it’s quieter on the outskirts. Chris hands over a ticket for a Tecate, tipping the barman a buck as it’s cracked open and handed over. They’re mostly serving harder stuff, but Chris doesn’t want to get trashed out here, and not with this girl. He doesn’t know why she’s here if she’s not the type to partake, but he doesn’t want her to be the only one. He’s already seen a few people here collapsing and getting whisked off in a hurry, and an actual hospital is a long ways away.

When he sees her shiver, he takes off the short-sleeved ugly Hawaiian shirt he’s barely wearing and offers it. At least it would fend off a breeze.

Tru gives him that wary eye, and he shrugs again self consciously; his skinny fat doesn’t offer her much of a view, and anyway, it wasn’t a move. “My mom would yell at me if it wasn’t a gentleman.”

“Oh yeah?” She smiles tightly, her fingers holding the halves of the gaudy print at her collarbones. “What else did she tell you?”

“You know, just the basics,” he grins. “Opening doors, pulling out chairs, waltzing.”

“Waltzing?”

“I suck at it,” he says quickly, “I stepped on her toes every time she tried to teach me. My dad’s better at it.”

Tru’s laugh is like a song to him, the way her eyes crinkle up when she smiles with sincerity, which isn’t often. He mutters, “I don’t know, maybe I’m old-fashioned.”

“Maybe you’re not,” she replies, and he doesn’t know what she means.

They run into one of the other girls she knows who’s high as a kite and being trailed by a guy not much better off, but with intentions Chris knows the look of. He helps to get them down to the docks and pays a local fisherman with an outboard motorboat to get them back to the island and leave the creeper behind.

There are a few others of their group that left the party early at the little shack, and Chris backs off as Tru and some others get their friend hydrated and hopefully settled safely for the night. Later near sunrise, it’s clear the festivities have ended as droves of people begin stumbling back from bigger ferries from the cay, some passing out wherever they fall, others trying to drag them to appropriate places. Tru catches his eyes across hammocks and netting as he rubs his eyes; he’s exhausted, but he still feels like he should help and keep an eye out, for her and everyone else. Somebody should.

The sun is up and it’s well into morning when he wakes to Tru scooting in under his ratty blanket, rather than her own over with her friends. He shifts nervously, whispers her name, but she just puts her back to his front, laying her sunkissed hair on his bicep. He settles back down, pillowing his head on his duffel and shifting the blanket to cover her, carefully placing his arm over her in an untoward way near her own.

She’s so, so close, so warm, smells so good. She’s still wearing his shirt. He falls asleep again.

—

“You know that time, the first time when you sleep with someone, but you only just sleep with them, and like… it’s enough?” Chris asked, looking over at Zach.

He nodded and hummed in understanding, but Zach didn’t know at all. He’s never done that with anyone that he wanted.

Later at home, Zach flopped over on his side on the shitty futon in his brother’s place and watched the way the headlights from the street drew streaks across the living room wall, sighing deeply.

He was in trouble and he knew it. He knew better than to let himself crush on a straight guy, and Chris was 9000 times more off limits for being a grieving widower, for fuck’s sake. His old life sounded amazing, and Tru sounded like she had been some kind of earthbound goddess, not unlike the magical story she’d painted across her adorable daughter’s bedroom walls. Zach’s mom’s family used to have such a bullshit saying, that God always took the best people to be his angels, as if that was some kind of consolation. Seven years old and furious with his own dad’s grave still bare, Zach had snottily asked why God kept running out.

But now he’d gone and gotten involved, gotten invested, gone beyond innocently and no-so-innocently crushing and really cared about what happened to all of them: Chris, Maia and their family.

He also morbidly wanted to know what that kind of love felt like, because he’d sure never known it in his stunted fits and starts of relationships. Chris loved like universe could break apart around him and as long as he had his amazing wife and daughter, he was invincible. But take one of those foundations away, and he was destroyed, he couldn’t take the weight. Chris was Atlas in the story, and he was losing his grip on the world.

Zach wanted so badly to shore him up. He wanted to take all that pain and make it go away.

[junker-town]

The Super Bowl is over. This is everything you need to know about college basketball

College basketball is ready for the spotlight. This is what you need to know heading into March Madness.

Football season has come and gone, and with that, the national spotlight finally shifts toward college basketball. The greatest postseason in American sports is right around the corner. Selection Sunday is only five weeks away.

We understand if you’ve been distracted by fantasy teams, Super Bowl squares, and other totally legal, government-approved forms of gambling on football. That’s why we’re here to get you up to speed on college hoops before the bracket is announced.

There is perhaps no greatest tradition in college basketball than pretending like you know what you’re talking about when you’ve barely watched the sport at all before March. Let us help.

Who’s the best team in the country?

It’s definitely Villanova. Or maybe Purdue. Possibly Virginia. If Duke figures out its defense ... if Arizona gets better point guard play ... if Michigan State starts peaking at the right time like it always does ... if Kansas gets hot from three ....

The thing you need to know heading into March is that this year is wide open. All of the top teams have flaws, there is a strong pack of middle-tier, power-conference teams, and anyway, anything can happen in a single-elimination format.

Here is a wild guess: there will be no overwhelming favorite in your pool this year. It feels like a season where a No. 7 seed could make the Final Four (hey, South Carolina did it last year,) or a No. 3 seed everyone discounts goes all the way.

Don’t feel obligated to copy off the experts this year. Your guess is as good as anyone else’s.

Can you run down the national title favorites for us?

Sure thing.

Villanova: Great veteran point guard (Jalen Brunson), elite 3-and-D wing (Mikal Bridges), tons of supplemental scoring options (Donte DiVincenzo, Phil Booth), and a productive big man (Omari Spellman) it was missing last year. Jay Wright’s team has the No. 1 offense in the country, but the defense is only No. 42 right now, according to KenPom.

Virginia: No. 1 in defense, dead last in tempo. This is a classic Virginia team, with the caveat that it might have more athletic, attacking guards on the perimeter. The big question is whether its offense is good enough to make a Final Four run.

Purdue: Shooters everywhere with a 7’2 center in Isaac Haas in the middle. The Boilermakers lost arguably the best player in program history (Caleb Swanigan) and somehow got better. Sophomore guard Carsen Edwards is the engine.

Duke: The Blue Devils have the highest ceiling of any team in the country because of their raw talent level. Marvin Bagley III is unstoppable, Wendell Carter Jr. is playing his best ball of the season, and there is shooting on the wings. The defense is terrible right now, and Coach K has fully committed to a zone defense.

Michigan State: The Spartans haven’t looked great yet but are still 22-3. Miles Bridges has been good, not great. Jaren Jackson Jr. has become this team’s best NBA prospect as a center who can stretch the floor and block shots. Cassius Winston is the breakout star here, a sophomore point guard who can fill it up from three and facilitate like a pro.

Xavier: It feels like the Musketeers make the second weekend every year. The offense, led by Trevon Bluiett, is top 10 in the country, but the defense is shaky.

Kansas: The two-post system is gone, and there are no surefire first-round picks on the roster. Instead, the Jayhawks spread the floor with shooters and launch threes. The lack of interior depth and poor free-throw shooting is worrisome.

Cincinnati: It’s the same story with the Bearcats every year: They can really defend, but can they score enough to win deep in March? Do-it-all forward Gary Clark is one of the country’s most underrated glue guys.

Arizona: Deandre Ayton is basically Patrick Ewing 2.0. Allonzo Trier is a monster scorer in the backcourt. The big questions are point guard play and defense. There is so much pressure on head coach Sean Miller to finally make the Final Four with this team.

Texas Tech: Yes, really: Texas Tech!! The Red Raiders have an athletic roster that plays lockdown defense. Senior guard Keenan Evans is a star in the making. Head coach Chris Beard seems cool.

Trae Young is king

If you’ve heard anything about college basketball this season, you’ve probably heard about Trae Young. He’s not the next Stephen Curry, but it’s clear Curry’s brilliance is a touchstone for his own game.

Young has unlimited range and takes shots no one else would even consider. He turns the ball over a lot and struggles to defend. He also leads the country in both points and assists per game.

The whole country will be waiting on Young to drop 40-point games in March — he has already done it four times this season. It feels like that’s the only way Oklahoma can go on a deep tournament run.

It looks like a down year for Kentucky

The Wildcats are big and athletic, but the pieces don’t really seem to fit this year. There is a notable lack of shooting, which was apparent again in their weekend loss to Missouri when they shot just 2-of-20 from three-point range.

The other big difference with Kentucky this year is the lack of star power. It’s possible Kevin Knox gets drafted in the top 10, but there are no top-five picks this year like De’Aaron Fox or Karl-Anthony Towns.

Of course, 2014 also looked like a down year for Kentucky. That’s when the Wildcats were a No. 8 seed in March and went all the way to the title game. It’s impossible to write off a team with this many five-star recruits, but this just doesn’t feel like one of John Calipari’s best rosters.

The SEC is actually good

Speaking of Kentucky: It is no longer the preordained winner of the SEC. The conference could get anywhere from 7-10 teams in the NCAA tournament field this season. SEC basketball is finally good.

Auburn has been one of the season’s biggest surprises coming off the FBI scandal. Tennessee is better than anyone expected. Florida has firepower on the perimeter, and Alabama looks like a potential sleeper with freshman star Collin Sexton at the controls.

What’s up with Grayson Allen?

Allen spent his first three years at Duke becoming college basketball’s most infamous player. This year he’s been suspiciously quiet, both in terms of production and lack of controversy.

Allen started the season on fire by torching Michigan State in the Champions Classic in November, but he hasn’t made many headlines since. It just feels like he’s going to do something to get everyone talking about him when March rolls around.

Give us some good sleepers

This is hard, but we’ll try:

Middle Tennessee: It has won an NCAA tournament each of the last two years, and this might be its best team yet. Memphis and Alabama transfer Nick King is a stud on the wing, and Giddy Potts (Giddy Potts!) is still around to hit threes. This year has a top-20 defense, but the offense (No. 82) is slightly behind where it’s been the last two years.

Seton Hall: The Pirates have four senior starters, a double-double machine up front in Angel Delgado, and some shooting on the wings. This team isn’t elite on either side of the ball, but it’s solid on both ends.

Alabama: Sexton is a lottery pick for a reason. No one can stop him going to the hoop. Donta Hall anchors the No. 12 defense in the country, while freshman Herb Jones provides a rare blend of length and athleticism on the perimeter. Dazon Ingram, John Petty, and Braxton Key add supplemental scoring power.

Gonzaga: The Bulldogs lost their best guard and two best bigs from last year’s title run, but this is still a very good team. Johnathan Williams is a dependable senior inside, and guard Josh Perkins has taken his game to new heights as a junior. With the No. 7 offense and No. 34 defense, Gonzaga is efficient on both ends.

Who’s your national title pick?

I picked Villanova in the preseason, so I will stick with Villanova now.

But like we said earlier: It’s wide open. This is going to be another great NCAA tournament.

[junker-town]

Which 2017 NFL draft prospects are underrated, per college fans?

Here are the players we’d scoot up the draft board. How about you?

College fans don’t always agree with NFL people on draft prospects.

We’ve watched these players on Saturdays and don’t care as much about NFL team needs, scheme translations, and anonymous scout chatter. That doesn’t necessarily make us more enlightened, but it does mean a different perspective.

Now that we all have a good idea of how the 2017 NFL draft’s early rounds are gonna go, let’s think about which players are especially popular among college fans. Who are our picks to be overlooked by NFL teams? Or, put another way, who are college fans most overrating, according to NFL mocks?

A bunch of us answered this question, but let’s hear from you in the comments, as well.

These are not our top-five overall picks, just our five players we’d be quickest to move up in the rankings.

The only rule: no picking Texas A&M DE Myles Garrett, because the expected No. 1 pick cannot possibly be undervalued. Guess that means we can’t pick potential No. 1 pick North Carolina QB Mitchell Trubisky either, not that, uh, we would.

Richard Johnson

1. O.J. Howard, Alabama TE: You know how in basketball, they just run the whole offense through the most dominant physical specimen on the team? Yeah, that's what Alabama more often shoulda done with Howard. He's the X Factor in every game he’s involved in, and even he was confused the Tide didn't give him the ball more often.

Whether decoy or main target in the progression, it'll be fun to see O.J. give defensive coordinators fits in the NFL. Oh, and he can block, too. 2. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB 3. Jarrad Davis, Florida LB 4. Patrick Mahomes, Texas Tech QB 5. Adoree’ Jackson, USC CB

Bill Connelly

1. Zach Cunningham, Vanderbilt LB: One play never encapsulates a player. Two might, though.

That’s Cunningham, former star recruit, hurdling his 234 pounds over a mass of humanity and almost stealing the football before a kicker can even kick it.

That’s Cunningham, thought to be a bit too lanky for the SEC’s power schools, catching Isaiah McKenzie — a potential draft pick with a full head of steam — from behind and pulling him backward to seal an upset over Georgia.

Cunningham had 41 tackles for loss as a high school senior. He had 33 in his last two years as Vandy’s best defensive weapon. He is so much fun to watch. He combines elegant athleticism with a nasty streak. He was James Franklin’s parting gift to Derek Mason in Nashville, and he dragged an offense-free Vandy to a bowl in 2016.

Maybe he’s too small to be a true star in the NFL, but he’s a freak with an IQ higher than yours. I’ll take those guys any time. 2. Chad Kelly, Ole Miss QB 3. Patrick Mahomes, Texas Tech QB 4. Justin Thomas, Georgia Tech QB/RB 5. Josh Augusta, Missouri DT

Luke Zimmermann

1. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB: Quarterback wins may be a worthless stat. And "winners win" is the kind of logic used to justify bad decisions by teams across pro sports. And yet, Watson is a dang winner.

At every level, from seven-on-seven to back-to-back College Football Playoffs, Watson is the kind of quarterback you can go into battle with and feel comfortable about coming away victorious. For all the questions marks — decision making, system fit, ability to read defenses — no one wants it more than No. 4. And with a rare mix of athleticism, arm strength, and football acumen, you're going to get the results you're seeking. 2. O.J. Howard, Alabama TE 3. Forrest Lamp, Western Kentucky OT 4. D’Onta Foreman, Texas RB 5. Curtis Samuel, Ohio State RB/WR

Dan Rubenstein

1. Dalvin Cook, Florida State RB 2. Budda Baker, Washington S: 2017 is an impressively deep year for defensive backs, but don’t let that hide how great Baker will be.

I say this as an Oregon fan who’s still bummed Baker decommitted from the Ducks to sign with then-new Washington coach Chris Petersen: Baker is impossibly fun to watch, if you enjoy safeties playing one step ahead and giving offenses fits.

Draftniks will pick him apart as being undersized and strictly a center-field type, but watch him effortlessly step in front of deep receivers to nab deep balls and then roll up to set a quick boundary to end a wide run before it ever starts, and you'll fall in football love. Don't let him be the one that got away. 3. Jabrill Peppers, Michigan football player 4. Dorian Johnson, Pitt OL 5. D’Onta Foreman, Texas RB

Bud Elliott

1. Mike Williams, Clemson WR: If I told you you could have prime-career Plaxico Burress with a middle pick in the first round, you'd take that, right? Because I'm pretty sure that's who Williams is. He is a big guy who understands what his game is, and importantly, what it is not. He played in an ACC with many top defensive backs and also faced Alabama and Ohio State. He's someone my quarterback can depend on to make contested catches. 2. Adoree’ Jackson, USC CB 3. Ethan Pocic, LSU OL 4. Joe Mixon, Oklahoma RB 5. Eddie Vanderdoes, UCLA DT

How a broken neck made Mike Williams even better

Matt Brown

1. Zay Jones, East Carolina WR: Without big-time playmakers to take defensive attention off him, Jones still caught more passes than anybody else in FBS (158), finishing second nationally in receiving yards (1,746). In fact, no player in FBS history has caught more passes than Jones, EVER. Don't you want a wide receiver who is really good at catching the ball lots of times? 2. Hunter Dimick, Utah DE 3. Christian McCaffrey, Stanford RB 4. Donnel Pumphrey, San Diego State RB 5. Taco Charlton, Michigan DE

Morgan Moriarty

1. Leonard Fournette, LSU RB: I’ll just leave this here:

ESPN

Don’t believe me? How ‘bout now:

Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

2. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB 3. Dalvin Cook, Florida State RB 4. Jonathan Allen, Alabama DT 5. Malik Hooker, Ohio State S

Alex Kirshner

1. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB 2. Cooper Kupp, Eastern Washington WR, is the most prolific receiver in Division I history, and that's how he catches your eye. But he keeps your eye because of all the things he's done well and all the good teams he's done them against. Kupp played in the FCS, but torched Pac-12 opponents for 716 yards and 11 touchdowns in four games. He ran option routes that are now commonplace in the NFL, and he's done nothing but get buckets for four years. 3. Zay Jones, East Carolina WR 4. Patrick Mahomes, Texas Tech QB 5. Leonard Fournette, LSU RB

Wescott Eberts

1. D’Onta Foreman, Texas RB: Might I interest you in a 235-pound running back with 4.45 speed? That’s Foreman, who is fresh off a 2,000-yard season and posting this Physical Size and Athleticism Rating:

Even with a hand time adjustment on his 40, D'Onta Foreman's PSAR rating is the highest of any RB in the 2017 class: 7.76 out of 9.00

— Kyle Crabbs (@NDTScouting) March 28, 2017

A two-star prospect by Rivals out of high school, Foreman has already made a career out of proving his doubters wrong, so here’s your chance to look smart when the big back has a huge rookie season. 2. Patrick Mahomes, Texas Tech QB 3. Tyus Bowser, Houston LB 4. T.J. Watt, Wisconsin LB 5. Malik McDowell, Michigan State DL

Jason Kirk

1. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB 2. Dalvin Cook, Florida State RB: Cook should’ve twice been a Heisman finalist, ranking ahead of 2015 winner Derrick Henry in total yards per game and No. 3 in 2016, against a tougher schedule than those faced by No. 1 Foreman or No. 2 McCaffrey.

His explosiveness numbers top McCaffrey’s over the last two years (nearly doubling the potential Stanford first-rounder’s highlight yards per opportunity, or yards added to 5-yard gains, in 2015), and Cook was a more efficient receiver, based on yards per target.

But Cook had an underwhelming combine, you say?

According to Sports Science, John Ross and Dalvin Cook had the same 20-yard split in pads: 2.67.

— Marcus Mosher (@Marcus_Mosher) April 15, 2017

According to Sports Science, Cook has the second fastest top speed of any RB they've tested in the past five years.

— Marcus Mosher (@Marcus_Mosher) April 15, 2017

3. Cam Robinson, Alabama OT 4. DeMarcus Walker, Florida State DE 5. Ben Boulware, Clemson LB

Overall

Slap those together, and you get:

1. Deshaun Watson, Clemson QB: If he’s not the No. 1 QB, a lot of college fans are gonna be mystified. 2. Dalvin Cook, Florida State RB 3. Patrick Mahomes, Texas Tech QB 4. O.J. Howard, Alabama TE 5. D’Onta Foreman, Texas RB, and Zay Jones, East Carolina WR

Lotta skill players there, but overall, we had 11 votes for linemen and eight for back-seven defenders in these small groups.

Your turn. Who’s your personal draft crush this year, based on college production?