#i graduate this year though so i only have to endure this embarassment for a few months

[chopprface]

chip revvington doodles cause ive been thinking about him a lot. i may ramble under the silly doodles or make another post about him cause i thought of a TON while drawing this

id like to imagine he was more fit before he became manager of the logging district but since hes been bogged down with toon battles and paperwork (and late night oil binges to drown the pain) his suits gotten bigger or something. he gained weight but hes a robot so it doesnt really make sense how that physical change happens yk

i think about chip a lot he has a special place in my heart <3 the only thing thats changed from a year and a half ago is i got better at drawing him and i also got laughed at for choosing a boomer ass name like chip

[jennyforeigner]

Log Horizon and the Trans Experience

When Log Horizon first came out, there was a specific dynamic that didn’t sit right with me. Our protagonist, Shiroe is the object of affection for two of the female cast members: Akatsuki, an adult woman, and Minori, an mid-teenager. Shiroe and Akatsuki are quite apparently the main romantic subplot of the show. All the same, Akatsuki is frequently shown to feel deeply threatened by Minori and her crush on Shiroe. And I never saw why an adult woman would ever need to feel like a child is a threat to her relationship with an adult man. Minori is a child, and Shiroe clearly prefers the adult ninja who is one of the most gifted sword fighters in the world. Minori is not a meaningful threat to Akatsuki’s relationship. This rivalry is unnecessary and serves only to make it seem like Shiroe might have ever requited the affections of a child.

In the years since Log Horizon first came out, I have to. I am a full time transgender woman. Rewatching the show now with my new perspective and several extra years of life experience, I have come to understand a few things about the conflict.

Akatsuki is a short, petite woman. She is frequently treated as a child, despite being in a graduate student in her mid-twenties. She wants to be seen as an adult, especially by the man she loves and as dedicated her life to helping. Minori, despite being roughly ten years Akatsuki’s junior, is taller, more full figured, more sociable, more fashionable, more feminine. Despite being a child, Minori is more readily seen as a woman than Akatsuki has ever been.

I came out as trans in my mid-twenties. I am now a couple years into hormone therapy, and despite in many ways being leaps and bounds more feminine in my presentation, it’s still a struggle to be seen as a woman by the world around me. I work with kids though. Every day I’m around girls who don’t even have to try to be seen as their gender. And it makes me feel unreasonable hurt, angry, and jealous. Not with my students, obviously, but at the fact that I’m in a situation where I have to claw for every scrap of adult womanhood I can get but these children are handed it for free.

Akatsuki is the same way. Of course she’s jealous, and angry, and possessive, and embarassed. It doesn’t matter that Shiroe is obviously in love with Akatsuki too. It matters that the universe denied her something so integral to her identity but gave it to some one else with no strings attached. She should look Minori. She should should act like Minori. She should dress like Minori. But she is Akatsuki. And no matter how much she yearns to be things she isn’t, that’s just not how the world works.

It’s not Minori she resents: it’s this situation where she has to be compared to someone who is a child and be found wanting. In the same way, no matter how jealous I get of my students, they aren’t the problem. The problem is in the world that made me have to feel this way.

Akatsuki and I are, in many ways, the same. We’re women who yearn to be thought of as women, but are forced into a situation where we must endure comparisons to children. It’s just weird that in a show with trans characters, the character who best embodies the trans experiences is presumably cis.

[scribbles97]

Left Behind -- Chapter 11

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12 / Chapter 13

Read On Ao3

You may need the tissues for this one...

Their Passing Out Parade wasn’t anything like the one she, Jeff, Val, and Lee had experienced in the air force. It was still a big ceremony, carried out in the courtyard between the residential building and the training buildings on the farm that Lucy and Lee had inherited from their parents. She and Jeff had spent plenty of time there with the boys during its transition to the main IR training ground, and she was glad he had made her keep the little corner around the original farm house separate from the rest of the changes. 

If nothing else it was simply another comforting reminder of him to fill the empty space. 

Plus it gave her and the family somewhere to stay for events such as Passing Out. 

“Alan! Gordon!” She yelled up the stairs, “I want the pair of you down here in five minutes dressed and ready to go!”

“Lucy,” Tanusha pursed her lips as she appeared at the top of the stairs, “Gordon isn’t here, he left at five this morning.”

Sighing in exasperation she resisted the urge to run her hands through her hair, Hugh would murder her if she messed up the twisted updo he’d spent an hour creating for her over breakfast. 

Looking up the stairs she shook her head, “Never have kids, Tan, you will spend your life chasing them away from places they’re not meant to be.”

She laughed, holding her side gingerly as she made to walk down the stairs, “I wasn’t planning on it any time soon Lucy, don’t worry.”

The younger woman’s dress was black and clung tightly to her body, the only splash of colour the green earrings and necklace that matched her eyes. Lucy had to smile as she stepped off of the bottom step, Tin’s heels making her almost as tall as Lucy. 

“You be careful tottering around in those,” She warned gently with a smile, “the last thing you need is to pull your stitches.”

Tan smiled, shaking her head at Lucy, “I’ll be fine,” Her eyes darkened as she glanced back up the stairs, “It’s Dad we need to keep an eye on.”

Reaching out to squeeze her shoulder, Lucy smiled, “Don’t worry, Val’s going to keep her eye on him today.”

Both turned as the front door creaked open, stiff and old on its hinges. Lucy squinted against the bright light of the sun outside, and then sighed as she realised the person in the doorway was far too tall to be Gordon.

“Hey Mom,” Scott murmured softly as he stepped in, already dressed in his best suit, IR tie hanging loose around his neck, “I don’t suppose we’ve got any aspirin do we?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me how late you were all up partying until?” She smiled, smoothing out the shoulders of his midnight blue jacket. 

For all he looked exhausted, there was still the spark in his eye, and a cheeky smile on his face. It was tradition for the graduating cohort to spend the night before their ceremony celebrating so the following night could be spent with their family and friends. The barbeque and party that followed the passing out always went on to the late hours and it was perhaps a testimony to the graduates' endurance that they managed to survive both. 

“Well, most of us went to bed around three,” He sighed, ruffling the back of his hair as he turned to the kitchen, Lucy followed, noting how Tan slipped away back upstairs silently. 

“I couldn’t really get to sleep though,” Scott continued as he grabbed a glass and filled it with water, “Kind of had a lot in my head.”

She knew what he meant, the night had been unsettled for her too, full of thoughts and reminders that she had wished she could have blocked out. 

“He’ll be damn proud of you,” She whispered, leaning on the corner of the table and tugging at the waist of her own dress so it sat right, “He’d been looking forward to today for months.”

Scott snorted as he set the half empty glass down on the side, “I bet he’d have said something in his speech to embarass me.”

Lucy had to smile, “And who says I haven’t got that area covered?”

He laughed, still not looking back to her as he took a long breath in, shoulders straightening as he did. She had expected the day wouldn’t be easy, that it wouldn’t pass without a few tears from a number of parties. The Board had approached her about a moment's silence during the ceremony to remember the founder, but that simply hadn’t been Jeff’s way. They had come to the agreement that a minutes cheering would be a better memorial for the man who had been so loud and ambitious in his life. Jeff would not want to be mourned, but celebrated. 

“Shit, Mom.” He breathed, one hand reaching up to his face, “It wasn’t meant to be like this.”

Any other time and she might have scolded him for his language, but she knew he was hurting in a very specific way. 

Going over to him, she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and squeezed tight, “It wasn’t Scotty, but he’d want us to enjoy the day regardless. What would he say about us mourning him on a day we should be celebrating you?”

Scott nodded, wiping at his eyes, “You’re right. Celebrate today, and after that keep making him proud.”

She turned him to face her, cupping his cheek as she wiped away the last of his silent tears. Her smile was tight and forced as her heart ached for both her husband and her sons. It was a point well made though, it wasn’t a day for mourning, no matter how much it felt like it. That day would come later. They were celebrating the achievements of their eldest that day, and a party would soon be in order to distract them all. 

“Hey Scooter!” Gordon’s voice was loud and bright as Lucy pulled away from the eldest to look at the second youngest. 

His bond hair was wet, and flipflops squeaked and squelched as he walked across the tiles of the kitchen. The towel over his shoulder was a dead giveaway as to where he had been that morning.

“Gordon you need to be ready in two minutes! Today was not meant to be a pool day!”

He shrugged, taking the remainders of Scott’s drink and downing it in one, “I lost track of time, and what’s the point in having a double olympic pool if I can’t practise in it?”

“Go!” She snapped, perhaps a little harder than necessary, “Shower, suit, tie.”

“Yes Ma’am.” The younger son mocked before turning and scampering away. 

Scott was biting his lip as he shook his head, “Force him onto the training program, that would be a shock to his system.”

She had to bite her lip. Today wasn’t the day to announce that two more of Scott’s brothers were following him through the training program. It was the eldests day of celebration, not Gordon and Virgil’s.  

“Let’s not go there,” She sighed, turning to the stairs, “Now, aspirin. I take it you don’t just need some for you?”

He grinned, “The others always did love it when you came with care packages for everyone.”

Lee had always rolled his eyes when she had shown a soft spot for their trainees, but it was simply in her nature to care for all those around her. If the trainees were away from home, often in an entirely different part of the world to where they were from, if she could help make them just a little bit less homesick, it was worth it. 

“I’ll see what I’ve got.” She grinned, “After today what will they do?”

Scott chuckled as he followed her up the stairs, “No idea, Mom. No idea.”

***

Gordon had eventually gotten ready, wrestled into his suit by Tanusha and Virgil. Scott had ended up being late to get across to the graduates registration, getting distracted in helping Alan with his tie. Lucy hadn’t realised how late in the morning it had gotten until Sally, Lee and Val had arrived at the farm house when Lucy had intended on sending Virgil and John to meet them across at the base’s landing strip. 

So it had been unintentional but entirely appropriate that they had made their way across together as a family to the courtyard. 

It felt foreign for Lucy to be sat up on the stage with the board at her side and graduates behind her. She was all too used to being sat in the audience with the rest of her team and family, watching the new recruits as they fidgeted waiting for their badges. Instead she was watching her family, Gordon and Alan sat between Virgil and John, Tanusha and then Kyrano sat next to Virgil followed by Val and Lee. Sally, Penelope and Hugh sat on John’s other side sharing knowing smiles and quiet murmurs of conversation. Lucy could guess the topic, in a few months time both Kayo and Penelope would be twenty-one and old enough to receive their badges in a much quieter intimate ceremony with only the closest family around. Not the whole world needed to know exactly who IRs security fell to. 

Before she had known it the Board around her had been standing and she had followed suit, cheering and whooping along with the crowd as the familiar roar of an engine she had helped design neared. The sight of Thunderbird One swooping low through the sky above them proved too much for her, the tears she had been holding back breaking free at the sight of the first Thunderbird, her husband’s ship. She didn’t dare look down at the rest of the family in that moment, hoping they were all also distracted for the moment. 

And then, all too soon, she had had to step forward and say her part. The part that should have been Jeffs. 

As he always did, she spoke of how each graduate brought something different to the team, naming names and retelling teasing stories of their time in training. Being their son Scott was spared until last, but by far not spared in terms of the classic cat in a tree rescue across town only two weeks into his basic training four years prior. Breaking a branch on the tree and ending up stuck there as the cat had jumped down had been a huge amusement at the time to his fellow cohort. It was only that Jeff had been in the area at the time and heard the commotion that the father had arrived to rescue his eldest son. 

No, Scott wasn’t ever going to live that down. 

Roles had been called out first, followed by the few names of the students that had specialised to each area. The single Astronaut of the group, Ridley O’Bannon, followed by the three communications specialists, and eight EMT specialists. The field agents and first responders were always the last to approach her to receive their badges, always the biggest group with at least fifteen students in their ranks.

Scott was the last to step up. 

She paused a moment for him, holding his hand as she set the badge in it for longer than would have been acceptable for anyone else. There was a sheen in his eyes as he turned his hands to hold hers, nodding slightly as he swallowed. 

Both couldn’t help but laugh at the screaming cheers from their family, by far the loudest of all the graduates that day. 

Turning back to the crowd, Lucy gestured out to the huddle of former students, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the newest members of International Rescue.”

***

Scott was quick to pull his beer from his lips as Ridley went to walk past. Grabbing John by the arm, he dragged his younger brother with him towards her, calling as they went, “Ridley!”

“Scott!” John protested, “The hell are you doing?”

He grinned as they stopped right next to the short, dark haired woman, “Introducing you to a fellow astronaut, little brother.”

Ridley was facing them, blue eyes bright even in the dimming evening light as she grinned up at Scott, “How many have you had, Flyboy?”

Looking to John, Scott shrugged, “I’m making up for John, here, he doesn’t drink.”

“I do drink,” John corrected him, waving the bottle in his hand, “Just not like you do.”

Shrugging again, Scott took another swig of his drink, still grinning as he stepped back, “Astronauts, engage.” 

As he vanished back into the crows he could virtually hear John shaking his head with an utterance of, “I’m sorry you had to put up with him for four years.”

Chuckling to himself, Scott shook his head as he returned to the queue for food. Eliott and Tina stopped him half way there, the equally drunk twins introducing their parents and discussing the EMT and comms role they were about to take up in Europe. Scott promised to visit if he were ever in the area, knowing he would miss the company of the group he had spent most of the last four years living with. 

Virgil joined him as they approached the barbeque, raising his eyebrows at his older brother,

“What were you doing to John?”

Scott shrugged, glancing back to where the two astronauts were still talking just as Ridley threw her head back and laughed. 

“Introducing him to someone with similar interests, teaching him how to be social.”

Virgil sighed and shook his head, “Stop trying to set him up Scott, he’s ace, it doesn’t work like that.”

He hadn’t intended anything like that. 

“No,” He shook his head, regretting it was the world spun, “No Virgy, it’s just… Johnny’s always in his books. Penny said at Oxford she had to drag him out for fun, but who gets him out now, huh? He needs company.”

Virgil was shaking his head, apparently much more sober than Scott despite the bottle in his hand.

“John is capable of finding his own company Scott.” Virgil sighed as they collected a couple of burgers from the chef on the grill, “Why don’t you focus on finding yourself a girlfriend instead of trying to set the rest of us up?”

Scott’s face twisted. IR had been his focus for years, sure he’d flirted with girls in town, had short flings with one or two of them. Yet somehow they all just lacked something that he needed. 

His shoulders fell as they turned to the sauces, studying had taken over his life without realising it. All of a sudden he was the wrong side of twenty-five and still as single as the rest of them. 

“No,” Virgil moaned, “don’t take it like that, you’ll still have leave to find someone. Don’t get all mopey about it on me.”

He glared, “I wasn’t getting mopey.”

“Sure you weren’t.” Virgil uttered, turning them back towards the table their family had been occupying, “That’s like saying Gordon isn’t sneaking alcohol.”

Frowning, Scott glanced around for his younger brother, “He is?”

“Grandma’s on the case. Don’t go all smother brother on me.”

Both paused as they approached the table, frozen in sync by the same sight. 

Lord Creighton-Ward had his arm around their mother. 

Their mother was laughing at something he was saying. 

Something he was whispering in her ear. 

“That’s…” Virgil trailed off, slowly shaking his head, unable to find the words. 

“I suddenly feel sober.” Scott murmured, looking down to his burger, “Really sober.”

“Me too.” Virgil took a breath, “What do we do?”

Scott tried to find an answer. Wracked his brain for something to say, some grand rescue plan just like he’d been taught. It would have to be delicate, Mom was still fragile, and Hugh was apparently a closer friend than they had realised. 

Before he could come up with something coherent, Aunt Val swept past them, her grey dress floating past as she made a beeline for their mother. A whispered word, a shared smile between the two women, and Mom was making her excuses to the man she had been sat with. 

The brothers shared an exhale, their shoulders sinking in synchronization. 

“Thank you Aunt Val.”

“You can say that again,” Scott agreed quietly, glancing back to the party, “I think I need another drink.”

Virgil looked to the bottle in his hand, “Is there anything stronger than this going?”

He was relieved that Scott nodded, easily distracted by the mention of more alcohol. His big brother set his plate down on the nearest table and pointed at it,

“You stay here, I’ll be back with some real drinks.”

He feared slightly for what Scott meant, but was too dazed to think to ask as he obeyed the command and plonked himself in the seat by Scott’s food. Lost in his own thoughts he began to pick at his own plate in front of him. 

Scott was an IR First Responder now. In a matter of days he would have his hands on Dad’s ship and be flying the missions their father had taken on thousands of times. Yet, he had never felt any anxiety for their father. 

The thought of Scott going out though filled him with a new sense of fear. What if something happened to him the same way it had Dad? 

Virgil had seen the determination in his eldest brother when Dad had vanished. It was a drive he hadn’t ever seen from him before and it scared him to think that one day Scott may lose himself to that drive. What if in his determination to make Dad proud, Scott forgot when to stop?

Mom and Dad were always so busy working those days, either the business or IR needing their attention. Sure, they still made time for their sons, still ensured that they were there for their family. Scott was new to the game though and so eager to prove himself and please everyone. What if his big brother got so caught up in his new job that he forgot the rest of them?

“Virg?” Gordon interrupted his thoughts, “Woah, bro, are you crying? Come on, I thought we agreed this morning that we were celebrating? Strictly no crying allowed.”

He hadn’t realised the tears that had snuck out onto his cheeks as he shook his head, “I’m good, honest.”

Squishing up on the bench next to him, Gordon raised an eyebrow, “You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

He had to scoff, “Like you’re not?”

“Only had half a beer,” He shrugged with a grin, “I’m good. Now, whatcha cryin’ ‘bout? Don’t tell me you’re going all sentimental like Grandma?”

“No,” He shook his head, fighting the smile at Gordon’s guess, “It’s nothing, honest.”

“What he means Gordy,” Scott announced his return as he set three drinks down on the table, “Is that it’s nothing for younger brothers to worry about and leave the adults here to talk.”

Gordon scoffed, “I’m not thick you know, I know he’s worried about you going to fly Dad’s ship.”

“I am here.” Virgil waved looking between them. 

Gordon ignored him, “What I’m trying to work out is what he’s going to say when I tell him that I’m going to be in the next cohort.”

“What!?” Both older brothers blanched at him, the news hitting home suddenly despite the haze in their heads. 

“No,” Virgil shook his head, “You can’t-- you’re… I’m going on the next cohort.”

“You are?” Scott looked to him, “Why did neither of you say?”

“No way!” Gordon grinned, “Mom didn’t tell me! We can be study buddies!”

He was suddenly wishing that he failed the entry tests, four years studying next to Gordon was enough to put anyone off of anything. The work was going to be intense enough without a younger brother pesting for help every five minutes.

“I hadn’t decided for sure I was going to join yet,” Virgil sighed, “Alice got on, but I’ve not been told yet officially.”

Gordon laughed, “Brilliant! Alice is great, do you think she’ll be part of our study group too?”

“Wait,” Scott held up his hand, “How come you get on it so early? You haven’t finished highschool yet.”

Virgil knew exactly how. The prospectus had changed that year, a new method of studying alongside a college course of the students choice. 

It seemed Gordon was going to be one of the first on the new program. 

“Great,” He sighed, “So now I’ve got two of you to worry about.”

“Hey,” Scott’s hand clasped his shoulder slightly harder than necessary, “You don’t need to worry Virgy. Nothing’s gonna happen out there, all the equipment had a million percent safety margin, and it’s literally all I’ve trained for for the last four years.”

“Yeah,” Gordon chipped in, “And in a few years we’ll be there to keep him outta trouble too!”

He wasn’t entirely convinced, but he was tired, and drunk, and just part of him wanted to believe what they were saying was true. 

“Yeah, alright,” He smiled, “I guess you guys are right.”

“Of course we are,” Gordon grinned, drawing the drinks Scott had brought towards them, “I propose a toast.”

“A toast,” Scott repeated as he raised his glass of dark amber liquid, “To the best team I could ask for, hurry up and get here.”

Both Virgil and Gordon laughed as they raised their matching glasses to meet Scott’s with a clink. 

“Right behind you Scooter.” Virgil nodded, “We’ll be with you before you know it.”

He hoped silently that it would be soon enough.

[butterywingedwolf-blog]

Going With The Flow.

Currently this version doesn't possess Bluetooth connection so you would certainly need to use earphones along with a cord. I told him I had other factors to carry out. That was a deception, I possessed never ever run a 10k and was scared. About Blog - The Body fat Girls Overview of Operating is actually the No. 1 web site for suggestions, support and also resources for overweight distance runners confirming that there is no such thing as Too Body fat to Jog. Also when going for a top quality degree, there were actually a lot of times I should probe merely a small amount deeper to locate an accurate significance with that said certain run. You'll bear in mind that a few years back, I joined The Nuts Challenge This was absolutely a problem I thought I would certainly wuss away from yet, despite my anxieties, I definitely enjoyed that and also threw on my own in to those sloppy channels with the greatest of all of them. The route has been designed to be simultaneously difficult - along with approximately 18,000' from climbing up, considerably from this at 10,000' - as well as to be obtainable to improve its own appeal to observers, the press, the managing globe at-large, as well as, as a result, to possible supporters. I began this run entirely also swift - as I was bring in the right at the end from my block, I topped to the delegated to look for automobiles and saw the best stunning pink and also red sky. As I pointed out in my log, I managed my lengthiest jog in 18 months the Wednesday just before. In its years from presence, has come to be an on the web place for feets remedies and also quality shoes, along with a substantial reader interested in opportunity shoes. This is likewise an unique problem in an additional means: UltraRunning is actually beginning a set from articles featuring running clubs, kicking that off with ... 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I seem to be to remember this was right when you chose to work out once more as well as you went with an operate and also you went and that felt excellent, but that was additionally sort of a turning factor in your comeback. Considering that I thought they would certainly laugh at me, when I to begin with starting performing Couch to 5K I was actually as well self-conscious to tell anybody (various other than Adam). I was actually also as well embarassed to operate outside since I believed all the other joggers would certainly tease me. Rather I only used the treadmill in the course of the hrs I recognized the health club would certainly be actually empty. Certainly, the final opportunity I journeyed to Toronto for personal main reasons and taken note of costs, it was actually something like 1.3 loonies to the buck. I determined that I was about 3 kilometers overdue and, while this was a big gap, I believed this had not been too bad either. He needed to have his lumps featuring a near-DNF in his 1st run to discover the race as well as himself. In my thoughts, the hardest part of a marathon is actually the initiative this has you to qualify your mind to remain concentrated and sustain excellent operating technique for the entire range. As a matter of fact, if you are able to cross the appearance before Brian you get exactly what a lot of distance runners in the area use as their largest logo from tribute, an I Beat the Vintner" T-shirt. After so many weeks off recovering as well as managing from a personal injury, you operated faster than last year on a trail, in a hotter race. I really did not wish her to emphasize the experience, yet I presumed a bunch of folks might pick up from her condition.