#i gotta go watch all the vegaspete stuff again

[aeternallis]

Hmm, I’m having feelings about this scene again, so before I get back to fic writing, I gotta just get this stuff off my chest.

See, in a lot of reconciliation fics I’ve read for KimChay, most often times when Chay asks why Kim acted the way he did, the reason is almost always some iteration of, "I wanted to protect you." Which is, in and of itself, it's not totally incorrect, but in my opinion, that answer has always felt a little off, yknow? Because it gives Kim the luxury of time in thinking about his actions and coming up with an excuse to justify his own cruel behavior. It gives him a way out that honestly feels a bit unfair to Chay, so most often it's totally brushed off to the side.

I'm not saying that answer is totally wrong, since I myself have used it in a roundabout way in my own fic, but the way I see it, at that specific moment, Kim's motivations as to why he dodged Chay and pulled away from him had absolutely nothing to do with protecting Chay and everything to do with protecting his own pride.

It's definitely not a calculated move; it's more impulsive than anything else. Lol It's an interesting thing to think about, since a part of me can't help but wonder: is this just a really mean habit he has, or is it because he didn't want Chay's perfect image of him to shatter?

Either way, whether it's part of his personality or all about protecting his image (I'm personality more leaning towards the former, ngl), Chay's wellbeing is not at all taken into consideration in this scene.

As a fan of Kim's character and trying to remain loyal to how he's portrayed in the show, I gotta not give him excuses, yknow? XD Lol

I think part of the reason this scene is so hard to watch for me is because, at the very moment at which Chay had needed Kim the most to explain to him what's going on, although Kim returns his feelings, the latter cared more about his own feelings than he ever did about the person he's in love with.

It comes to a head with their next encounter at the club scene-which is also painful af to watch-because in this moment, they both care more about their own feelings than they do each other, since Chay didn't even stop to think that Kim had just protected him from making a big mistake. And Kim didn't take Chay's feelings into consideration that seeing him would be hard to bear for Chay, considering how their breakup had gone down. :'D

In terms of character development, it's not totally a bad thing. After all, who in the world ever likes being caught red-handed AND called out (in this case, both Kim and Chay to each other)? In the beginning of the show, Porsche had a penchant for calling out Kinn's shit behavior-even when they were both aware that Kinn was already falling for him-and that allowed for the Theerapanyakul of that relationship to learn that if he wanted to be in Porsche's life, if he wanted Porsche to want to be in his life, more than loving him, Kinn also had to learn to respect him.

It's the same theme with both VegasPete and KimChay: there is a difference between loving someone and respecting them.

And for men like Kinn, Kim, and Vegas, can anyone even begin to imagine how difficult it would be to learn to respect someone, when all of them have lived their entire lives up until that point turning their noses down everyone else? That it's second nature for them to think of everyone else as trash?! That to have that sort of arrogance is part of why their family has been able to climb their way to the top?!

(The VegasPete novel makes so much more sense to me now, because Vegas found it so hard to learn to respect Pete that he had to create an entirely different persona for it! LOLOLOL HE HAD TO DISASSOCIATE, BECAUSE HIS ARROGANCE IS SUCH AN INTRINSINCT PART OF HIS PERSONALITY AS A THEERAPANYAKUL! HAHAHAHA! And Pete is all, "my baby is trying his best, so points for effort" Lol)

Kimchay's scenes up until this point have been tender and poignant, but there are moments even in the beginning where although Kim was falling for Chay already, he didn't respect him whatsoever (ignoring his calls, giving him homework without any intention of following up, etc.)

The breakup scene was a jostling reminder to the audience that we cannot ever forget that Kim is a Theerapanyakul, and with that name, comes all the hubris and arrogance that being a member of that family entails. There is credibility to what Pete says when he states that out of all of them, Kinn is the most normal.

In other words, Kinn is the most "normal" because not only does he genuinely care about the wellbeing of the bodyguards in a way the rest of the family doesn't (Tankhun is tactless when he speaks towards them, Vegas uses them as meat shields, and Kim is dismissive and cold towards them, etc), but also because of the softness he genuinely harbors inside, he's more easily able to let go of that arrogance (case in point: the forest adventure with Porsche).

Is it any wonder to Korn WHY the bodyguards can easily be bought off? :'D

(Side note: We know Kim himself is somewhat aware of his own vanity, as he was able to perfectly say the line in the screenshot without hesitation. On top of that, this is a very loaded line; wtf has he done before that he would even be aware of his own reputation?! Haha! I know the established fanon is also that he's bad at playing detective, but I wonder if it's not necessarily that he's bad at intel gathering, and more like he was having an off day with this particular leg of his detective work, since daddy dearest is actively making sure he's a couple steps ahead of his son. Hmm.

In my opinion, it lines up more with Kim's subsequent actions later down the road, and the overarching theme of KPTS (falling in love is in and of itself a humbling experience), as this gorgeous fucker did not at all think about the consequences of his actions. XD

It isn't until Chay has completely cut him off that Kim begins to learn that simply loving him won't be enough-will never be enough-to get him back in his life.

[aestheticsfandomsandmore]

Thai QL Favorites Tag Game

Thanks @telomeke for tagging me (I’m @sharingfandoms, this is my main)!

(i’m only taking live action into account this once)

Favorite Thai QL: Bad Buddy The Series. It’s my favorite Asian show ever, actually, although I have watched some I found better handled on some aspects, or just less camp: nothing ever made me feel like Bad Buddy has, it’s my 2nd favorite show of all time (only Ted Lasso gets to rank higher). 

Favorite Pairing: PatPran. Again, 2nd favorite pairing of all time (1st is clace from The Shadowhunters Chronicles), and my current obsession. I don’t know how to talk about them without writing a 10k words essay, so I better not even try.

Most underrated actor/actress: To be honest, I am not really aware of how much actors or actresses are loved by the fandoms, and I noticed most BL actors are really hyped regardless of their skills anyway, so I won’t answer to this one.

Favorite Character: Pran Parakul from Bad Buddy; again, I know this is going to be very BBTS-centred, but Pran became my 3rd favorite character ever, and my favorite within any Asian drama I’ve ever watched.

Favorite Side Character: I can’t just pick one this is gonna be hard. Ram and King from My Engineer, Kim from KinnPorsche, Ink and Pa from Bad Buddy, Yok from Not Me, Army, Joe and Mollie from The Warp Effect, Wat (Ik he’s not queer, but I really love him) from The Eclipse.

Favorite scene in a QL: I guess Pat and Pran’s kiss in episode 5, including their whole conversation before the kiss, gotta take the first place, but to be honest there are a lot of good scenes from almost every QL I’ve watched.

Favorite line in a QL: “What I do might not be able to change the world, but it surely changes my attitude towards the world. You might think one man can’t change the world, but I want you to know this world can’t change someone like me either.” From P’Tong in Bad Buddy.

Most Anticipated QL (& why): 23.5!!!! I can’t fucking wait! MilkLove are gonna slay and I’m so captivated by the plot. 

Healthiest relationship in a QL: PatPran from Bad Buddy and RamKing from My Engineer.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: KinnPorsche and VegasPete from KinnPorsche and BonnDuen from My Engineer.

Most underrated series: The Warp Effect. Please, watch this show.

Guilty pleasure series: I never feel guilty for the stuff I enjoy watching lmao. 

I tag @thegayneurodivergentagenda, @fiercynn, @hereforlou and @lovingtheshow, but sorry if you were already tagged by someone else; also literally everyone who wants to do this.

[chalkrevelations]

HOW WE FEELING VEGASPETE NATION?

Because can I tell you? CAN I TELL YOU?

It’s like someone cooked up all the rest of the coke in that warehouse from Ep 7 and then shot it straight into my veins. Someone is going to have to come to my house and peel me off the ceiling.

LISTEN. On April 16, close enough to my birthday that it makes no difference, like the universe said, “Here, have something gorgeous to make up for the absolute shitshow of the last two years,” I was scrolling the kinnporsche tag and saw the “consume you” trailer. And I waited patiently. And then on April 21, I saw a biblebuild post, the one with Build’s sly little glance up at Bible in between his adorable little peace signs, and I had an inkling that I might be in trouble. And I waited patiently. And then Pete kicked the shit out of a guy, my beautiful new best beloved exposing that shroud of grey he keeps himself wrapped in and imprinting himself on my brain, and then Vegas got head-butted by Porsche and went home to have an orgasm and a cigarette in his freaky-deaky dungeon, and on May 8, I posted my first defense of Vegas, because I stanned Chris Keller, do you think I’m afraid of Vegas Theerapanyakul? And I WAITED PATIENTLY. And then they released the WDYS MV, with Pete’s vulnerable wrists like a glimpse of a Victorian ankle, which was a personal attack on me personally, and I continued to WAIT PATIENTLY. And then on May 14, I officially planted my Vegaspete Nation flag, and since then, through weeks of Vegaspete manic street preaching, I have kept the faith, and I have kept the faith, and I have kept the faith, and NOW. NOW, after so much giving, I continue to receive.

I CANNOT BELIEVE the payoff they gave me in this episode. From Vegas’s declaration to Porsche - not even three minutes in - when he’s also the softest and most gorgeous he’s ever looked, and therefore still Pete’s Vegas even though Porsche is the one looking at him; to Vegas’s declaration to Pete not just of love but that it would be worth it to die by Pete’s hand and the way he reached out to touch Pete’s face with his own bloody hand to kiss him in the softest iteration of that tableau we’ve seen yet; to Pete walking away from the main family with his bloody wings painted on the back of his shirt because he chose Vegas, lost his wings to fall, willingly, by choice; to Pete’s anguished pleas for Vegas to turn around and see him, the way Vegas has seen him in the past, the way no one else has ever ever seen him; to the way that I knew, I knew never to doubt Pete for an instant in this episode, no matter what his actions were, because of the way the lighting and framing and filters and styling all gave us the extra-gorgeous version of Build that we’ve only ever gotten when we’re looking at Vegas’s Pete, from the very first moment we see Pete in this episode and all the way through to the end, and the way Pete proved that to me by shooting down the person who shot Vegas without thought, without even looking at them, without even caring about who it was, and the way the narrative never pays the slightest bit of attention to who it was, as if to emphasize that no one has any importance to Pete other than Vegas; to the way Vegas - despite Pete being willing to metaphorically put that handcuff back on if that’s what it took to get through to Vegas - the way Vegas was finally finally able to metaphorically unlock it.

I am going to buy an airplane ticket to Thailand ... and y’all gotta understand how much I hate to fly, how absofuckinglutely relieved my partner was when we finally got all the family moved within driving distance so he could STOP worrying that I was gonna be hauled off by TSA and strip-searched for muttering darkly about the 4th Amendment and Security Theater every time we had to fly somewhere for a family visit ... ANYWAY, I’m going to buy an airplane ticket to Thailand, and I’m gonna go kiss everyone at BOC. WITH TONGUE.

Be On Cloud, BOX SET WHEN?