#i go back and forth between reputation and 1989

[tayloralison]

sooo wild to me that people have a top fave taylor album like how are you doing this..she has TEN !! albums how do you pick one

[leclerc-s]

the daphlonso scandal

series masterlist

daniel ricciardo talks formula one, the met gala, daphne jones, and more

isabella stands behind a counter, holding up two ingredients in her hands. she leans closer to her phone reading instagram live comments, one catches her attention, "what do you guys think about the daphne and fernando rumors?" she laughs loudly as oscar snickers and bailey smiles from behind isabella, holding a clear bowl in her hands.

lando ever the ignorant to what was happening, and simply thought his friends and girlfriend were having a conversation, speaks from behind the camera, "unless she's broken up with daniel, no way in hell is that ever happening, we all know it."

"lando!" bailey shouted as isabella rushed to shut her live off.

lando paled, "oh fuck. no. tell me it wasn't me. oh god, they're going to kill me."

"we kept this for 6 years and you just-" isabella was cut off by her phone ringing. they all stared at each other, they sigh when they realize it's only mae. isabella put her phone on speaker, "hey mae."

"where is he?" mae questions, "where the hell is norris? i’m going to break his trophies.”

“please don’t, i don’t have many,” lando said, taking the phone from isabella, “it was an accident i swear! i didn't know she was live, i promise! mae please don't kill me!"

daphne jones answers the internet's most pressing questions

comments

username she handled this better than i ever would’ve.

username the way she talks about lando and the other kids, it warms my heart. they all truly love each other. you don’t see many genuine friendships these days in hollywood,

username props to the interviewer for asking daphne if she was uncomfortable answering questions about that.

username it’s surprising they kept this a secret for as long as they did. no one suspected these two were even dating.

username everything after 1989 has been about daniel, and i can see why. he seems like a sweetheart and she does too. it warms my heart that these two sweethearts found each other, and are happily in love.

username omg! she tried to break up with him back when shit hit the fan in 2016-2017 and he refused to. daphne said he gave her space but still checked up on her and made her move in with him in monaco so she wouldn’t be alone.

↳ username when did she say this?

↳ username in miss americana, her documentary from 2020. she spoke about her relationship without saying who her lover was. we saw glimpses of him but that was it. i never put it together that it was daniel and looking back on it the signs were all there.

↳ username it’s surprising no one in monaco ever caught them or told a news outlet then. it’s such a small place

↳ username depending on where they lived. daniel said he had a home in the outskirts of monaco, but he also has his farm in australia. i assume they traveled back and forth between the two.

↳ username and new york, reputation was being recorded around this time too.

liked by daphnejonesricciardo, redbullracing, landonorris and others

danieljonesricciardo a little over a year ago i got to marry the love of my life. this was also around the same time i decided to take a year off racing, not because i everyone said i was a failure but because i wanted to enjoy my first year as a newlywed. i did enjoy it. i enjoyed waking up in the middle of the night to find daphne writing a new song or in the morning to her singing in the kitchen. i enjoyed traveling with her as she performed sold-out arenas night after night. i fell in love with magnificent woman as the whole world was against her, or at least that what it felt like, and i never fell out of love. many tiny little moments that were just ours led us to this moment, now i get to shout from the rooftops that i love my wife. i get to brag that my wife is more talented than me and that she picked me. she picked me when she could’ve had anyone else. for me it was always her and it would always be here, it’s a relief to know she thinks the same. i can’t wait to show the world what daphne j. ricciardo is like from my point of view.

daphne j. ricciardo is warm milk and cookies after a day out in the snow. she’s sunshine but also moonshine, light and dark. she’s human. she’s the embodiment of a strong, confident woman. she’s perseverance. she’s the calm after a storm but also a force to be reckoned with. she’s my daisy but also my poison ivy. sweet and sour. all the good things in my life. she’s a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend, and an inspiration. she’s the love of my life and the mother of our future children. she’s everything to me.

the joker and the queen, forever & always.

tagged: daphnejonesricciardo

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fernandoalo_oficial this is where i say goodbye to my other half, according to the internet. it was nice while it lasted daphne.

maejones was me sobbing at your wedding not enough? now you’re making cry over an instagram post? curse you daniel.

charles_leclerc glad we don’t have to worry about lando spilling this secret

taylorlautner congrats you two! it was a beautiful ceremony and glad to have been invited!

landonorris sorry i made you post about this but one less problem for me to worry about.

selenagomez take care of my best friend ricciardo!

↳ danieljonesricciardo always have gomez. always have.

alex_albon THE JOKER AND THE QUEEN? ARE YOU SHITTING ME RICCIARDO? I CANNOT SHED ANY MORE TEARS OVER YOU TWO!!

baileywinters mama y papa got married and i’m still not over it.

vancityreynolds vroom vroom man's wife stole my wife now i have to steal her husband

↳ danieljonesricciardo name a time and place

↳ vancityreynolds daphne i adore your husband. he's mine now. you can keep my wife and kids.

↳ daphnejonesricciardo ‘guess i just lost my husband’

liked by danieljonesricciardo, sebastianvettel, blakelively and others

daphnejonesricciardo to my sunshine, my muse, my eternal lover. i will forever be grateful you walked into my life when you did. you were my shoulder to cry on and my best friend before you were ever my lover. you’ve held me at my highest high but also at my lowest low. i want all of your midnights forever. i want to be able to tell you that i love you forever. i want to be able to tell our future children that their father is the kindest man i’ve ever met. loving you has been an adventure of its own because there’s always something new to do. i’ll always remember how you dragged me out of bed to watch the stars from our roof or how you wake me up at 3am to eat ice cream. the memories you and i make are forever and i can’t wait to tell them to our children someday.

daniel j. ricciardo is the embodiment of sunshine. he’s a warm hug on a cold day. he’s daylight. he’s comfort. he’s everything to me. there’s in no one else i would rather sit with and watch grey’s anatomy with. there’s no one else i’d rather cry to when life throws another unexpected event at us. there’s no one else i’d rather sing all my songs too first. there’s no one else i’d rather love than you. there's no one else i would want to be the future father of my children. here’s to forever daniel.

miss americana & the heartbreak prince, forever & always

tagged: danieljonesricciardo

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alex_albon ARE YOU SHITTING ME? YOU TWO WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME!! THE JOKER & THE QUEEN? MISS AMERICANA & THE HEARTBREAK PRINCE? OH LORD DIG MY GRAVE!

vancityreynolds lost my future husband before he could ever be mine

maxverstappen1 i call godfather of your first spawn!

↳ charles_leclerc no way! i called dibs first!

↳ carlossainz55 i was here from the start it should be me!

↳ maxverstappen1 i was too! besides charles already has the cat!

↳ charles_leclerc a cat is not the same as a human maxamilian

↳ maxverstappen1 THAT'S NOT MY NAME!!!

↳ danieljonesricciardo seb gets the first child. he's literally the reason we're together in the first place. ryan gets the next, you three can fight roman empire style for the third.

isabellaperez i won't fight for godmother because i know i am not responsible to take care for another person.

daniel jones-ricciardo gets interrogated by max verstappen and sergio perez (featuring special guest isabella perez)

comments

username he hyphenated his name! omg! i love this! i love them!

↳ username they both did! it's adorable

username i wanna know what the smoothie inchident is!

username max with daniel and isabella brings out the child in him.

↳ username this whole video seemed like tired dad (checo), fun uncle (daniel), little sister (isa), big brother (max)

username it’s surprising that checo brought up the 2021 scandal. but max was right, if he would’ve said something then the situation would’ve gotten worse. it’s nice to know all her friends were supportive.

username but what is the smoothie incident?

username props to daniel for deciding that the master’s situation should’ve been about daphne and not them as a couple

↳ username he should’ve said something. what kind of boyfriend doesn’t defend his girlfriend?

↳ username he still supported her as a ‘friend’ all the time. he did what he could without exposing their relationship. he even came to her defense when daphne was getting shit on by the entire internet. daniel is literally the blueprint.

username i wasn’t expecting checo to be the one with the hard hitting questions.

username this was a group i didn't know i needed

username they all seemed relieved that daph and daniel's relationship is out there in the world. i can't imagine helping two people keep their relationship a secret for over 7 years.

↳ username this friend group has proven time and time again they would do anything for each other. i think it's only a matter of time before someone *isabella* marches into the ferrari garage and demands they fix their shitty strategy.

¡leclerc-s speaks! honestly this one started off as a complete joke and then it became something i fell in love completely. it's super long because i just kept adding more and more to it. firmly believe that if lando wasn't the one to spill it stone-cold sober pierre would be the one to do it in an instagram story (iykyk)

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[searching4wisdom-blog]

BLECHELLA 🧶 2016

2,190 days sends us into the middle of the blank space (1,111 days between the release of 1989 and reputation) 🐇🐍

sends us back to the weekend we

*expected*

an album drop...possibly on Friday October 21, 2016 (10/21/2016, US)

In April 2016, in Vogue 73 Questions, around 13 minutes, Taylor says,

"Karma is real."

In this same interview, she mentions Carly Simon's You're So Vain, is her favorite lyrics:

🎶 "I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee"

☁️☕️

FIVE ✋🏼 stage clinger ... long yellow dress

folklore/evermore , yellow dress, London 8/17/2024 (or 8/8/8, when adding numerology single digits)

Lover set visuals, show Taylor in a yellow dress, stepping INTO the mirror 🪞

😸🕳️🐇⏱️🦪🎩🌀🦩🌹🖌️♥️♟️♣️🃏🐉🌼🩵

Alice in Wonderland, a quick synopsis:

Alice in Wonderland - enters Wonderland through a rabbit hole 🕳️ 🐇

in Through the Looking Glass - she enters through the mirror 🪞

In this story Alice has to armor herself to slay the Jabberwoky 🐉🐲🗡️

The second book has Alice traveling back and forth through TIME

TIME'S castle full of everyone's clocks starts to crumble....

Last Kiss Lyric Video: similar visual to the watches Time has hanging in the castle in Through the Looking Glass:

Last Kiss, LK > makes me think of @erodalighthouse on X, followers call the creator "LK"

Taylor and Hayley singing CASTLE's CRUMBLE in London, part 1.

We are ABSOLUTELY not going to skip this crucial ERA

Taylor will have to correct the *original* timeline, thus finally fixing (at least one of) the Glitches > 2,190 day love black out 🖤

TS 12 will be Karma/Double 1989 🤘🏼

Ed holding up

LV

LV, Roman Numerals is 55

✋🏼🤚🏼

HIGH FIVE takes two hands

H, 8 / I, 9 / G, 7 / H, 8

8+9+7+8 = 32 / 3+2 = 5

Double 5 🔁 1989 Double

[foxes-that-run]

Delicate

"Delicate is really a song about the switching back and forth between feeling confident enough to have somebody like you back and then feeling insecure, deeply deeply insecure, that no one would ever like you back and you go back and forth between that emotion the entire song." - Taylor in the BTS

To me, she is saying Delicate is the insecure side to Slut!'s confidence. The video has several references to Harry Styles.

"The entire video has this overarching narrative of this girl is past a magical note from the person she would love to meet up with later that turns her invisible and she's able to sneak out of this event and go meet up with him all the while being completely invisible."

People, she can't make it clearer who this is about. The man who hands the note is dressed like Harry at the 2013 VMAs when she also wore a navy dress when they were seen texting each other (notes). In the BTS we can see more of him - a dark haired male celebrity (also talking to press) in a patterned suit. I know someone that fits that bill. This post is about Ed’s inspiration for Tenerife sea that same night.

In the BTS (1:10) in the scene where she reads the note she says:

So I am reading the note and I am kind of happy, but then sad because I realise I can't be him.. and you know.

The statues behind Taylor reference Harry's Gucci and Grateful Dead Rings.

And Harry referenced the song title in Little Freak lyrics and video for the As it Was and Daylight videos.

The film clip includes 'Joe's diner' in the street, like Ready for it...? in the Ready for it BTS she isn't sweet when highlights that it's pointed and sassy.

When was it made

Taylor wore the outfit in the Making of the Song on 17 January 2016 in La.

Lyrics

[Intro] This ain't for the best My reputation's never been worse, so You must like me for me We can't make Any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink

A theme of the album is taking back power from drama. The muse is someone TS sees as there for her. Anti-hero is an interesting continuation of this feeling. It is sad to think that now she has an even higher level of fame this feeling may be harder to grasp.

The line about promises is interesting, by September 2016 Taylor was a single 28 year old who could (and did) make promises to YB. It could refer to prioritising her career over personal life. The promises may be able to make because it refers to the Gorgeous, I did Something Bad & High Infidelity timeline, around April 29, 2016, when HS was launching a solo career and TS was with CH.

[Verse 1] Dive bar on the East Side, where you at? Phone lights up my nightstand in the black Come here, you can meet me in the back Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you Oh, damn, never seen that color blue Just think of the fun things we could do

In Wish you Would and other 1989 songs Taylor talks about late night texts and meet ups. HS was also in New York a lot and wore skinny dark jeans for what seemed like all of 2016.

To me, "oh damn, never seen that color blue" is referring to the depression she was experiencing. In the MV Taylor wears a deep blue dress, she was in a deep depression and connecting with this muse helped her through. Taylor again refers to blue as depression in many songs throughout her discography.

Sometimes when you sleep at night I wonder if .... Sometimes I look in your eyes and pretend your mine I do it all the time Is it cool that I said all that.... Sometimes I wonder when you sleep are you dreaming of being with me... do you ever dream of me

References to dreaming of each other is a theme in the 1989 songs. In 2016 HS and TS were not together, it seems from other songs of this period they met, which makes sense for the line of pretending they are together all the time, whereas YB was single and could and would be with TS.

[Chorus] Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate (Delicate) Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate

The Chorus perfectly captures having a tentative conversation about one’s desire. A lack of communication is a strong theme in TS/HS songs about each other. The chorus acknowledges that they have a history and being romantic is delicate they have hurt each other before. Other songs that refer to not communicating are Two Ghost’s, Maroon, the 1, satellite, and more.

Many songs from HS and TS describe that they cannot get the other out of their head/move on.

[Verse 2] Third floor on the West Side, me and you Handsome, you're a mansion with a view Do the girls back home touch you like I do? Long night with your hands up in my hair Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share

HS bought an apartment on the 3rd floor on the west side while TS was making Reputation. Taylor’s is on the 5th floor. Joe did not live in New York.

Wildest Dreams has a similar lyric: His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room.

[Bridge] Sometimes, I wonder, when you sleep Are you ever dreaming of me? Sometimes, when I look into your eyes I pretend you're mine all the damn time

A lot of TS's songs about HS refer to dreams:

Blank Space: 'Cause darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream

Style: You’ve got that James Dean daydream look in your eye

Wildest Dreams: Say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams

This Love: In silent screams, in wildest dreams, I never dreamed of this

…Ready For It?: In the middle of the night, in my dreams

Gold Rush: I can’t dare to dream about you anymore

Snow On The Beach: Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful

Hits Different: Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief

But wait there's still more times Taylor has linked Delicate to Harry:

The Era's visuals are Styles

When she introduced it in Dallas on the Reputation Tour she linked it to being called names (like Slut!) perhaps.

And the Vertical Video was released for their anniversary 20 May in 2018, people even commented how random that was as it had been out for ages.

[clowningismyboyfriend]

Surprising 1989 Taylor’s Version Plot Twisssssssssst 🐍 New theory? THE MATH IS MATHING!

Hi!

My gosh I don’t even know what to make of everything since I last posted; I have a never ending blog sitting in my drafts that just seems to be a chopping block mess full of constantly shifting theories that goes back and forth changing directions faster than my toddler on a sugar high unleashed in a toy store.

So, with no real clarity within my doomed-to-draft-hell, but feeling the need to be creatively vocal in my appreciation and acknowledgement about SOMETHING- ANYTHING @taylorswift , I thought I’d share with you my answer to a question posed in Taylor Swifts Vault, a fan page on Facebook.

So without further ado! The question:

My answer… Probably a tad melodramatic, but I was just rolling with the punches and free styling the feels as they came through:

In the next few years? With her current trajectory all I can say is the sky is the limit! Taylor is limitless though. Her resilience ensures that! I can’t even begin to imagine how future Taylor could fill her current shoes so to speak. I know she will and she will do it admirably and with that unwavering, humble grace that is definitive of her (phenomenally talented) core.

Lyrics and melodies effortlessly flow through her and show us how open she is to receiving all that is good, great and wonderful - to possess the ability to polish, refine and pass on those gifts in a way that it unifies a collective consciousness shows she is truly a conduit between a higher power and reminds us that no matter what is going on in the world, with each individual we ALL feel- We all love and we all ache- it’s that shared connection through the lyrics and music that remains to be the most powerfully poignant and purest forms of shared release we could ever have.

The fundamentals in her approach seemingly haven’t changed but yet she manages to maintain a fresh, new and hopeful energy that is as warm and bright as the first ray of sun that stretches itself over the horizon, blazing an all encompassing trail that just gets stronger and stronger in her brilliance.

Or-If you’d prefer a more night time analogy- She’s the brightest star determinedly carving out her right to be a reliable, shining fixture looked upon with grace and fervour by a vast amount of appreciative onlookers who are eagerly watching on to see her glow get bigger and brighter as it pierces the inky blue/jet black tapestry of the skies, complimenting but also acting like a miniature moon; for she is a multi-faceted jewel full of wonder, mysticism, magnetism and a special kind of night magic that can only be felt rather than described.

… Et Voila!

I love how on reflection as I post this somewhat left-field blog, I noticed that I’ve significantly referenced the sky, sort of like an unintentional, underpinning theme that ties back to the 1989 Taylor’s Version..

… And I also can’t help but notice the “S” in “Version” on the album artwork..

Let me zoom in real quick for y’all-

.. Can you see it, too? The differences in the “S” shapes? The “S” in the word Version is definitely a snake 🐍

What could this all mean??

Well for starters it looks like I’m about to fall down a rabbit hole!

Is it Taylor just throwing out a random snake in the mix again, as she’s confirmed she likes doing/has done in the past?

Is it an egg for Reputation? (Seems too obvious for me personally but hey.. Whoever actually knows with Tay!)

Is it a nod to her Chinese Zodiac and how she was born in the year of the snake? Given that 1989 is the album symbolic of her artistic rebirth that being a complete transition from country to pop?

.. She did say that she loves to slink around in different genres! You know what else likes to slink… 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

I did see an interesting ‘Tok that speculates a double album drop, with one of the suggestive clues being the “1989” written on the good old Karma wall twice and I’m digging it. It’s a rebirth of an album that is symbolic of her artistic rebirth, two *ahem* too!

I think the reference to the song “Glitch” PLUS the glitch-glitch itself was also a little hint.. Check out this post from @taylornation celebrating.. *another 2 reference incoming* TWO years since she advance-released Wildest Dreams Taylor’s Version:

It’s been suggested that the double album drop will be an album completely full of collaborations, in honour of her 1989 world tour when she had just about every and any celebrity friend on the stage with her.

Some think it will be titled “Karma” but I feel like it will tie in with the sky theme feel of 1989 TV as a whole..Check out the lyrics out in “Glitch”-

“.. Nights are so starry, blood moonlit”

Maybe a Starry Nights Limited Edition? Guest Starring an assortment of stars? ⭐️

If Harry Styles isn’t involved in a Style remix of some sort, I will be shattered.

Especially with all the Harry eggs being teased, like the “Harry’s House” album release date in the “I Can See You�� music video..

I actually covered this in my first ever Tay-Spiracy #Swifttok when the idea of 1989 TV was just a dream waiting to be re-lived/re-leased, along with Presley Cash and her “random” capital S for Style caption on a Insta..

In that Tik Tok, which I have thoughtfully shared above, I will say that although I was mistaken about the release date for 1989 TV possibly being her birthday -The math throughout that ‘Tok is CLEARLY MATHING- I still feel like something will be released on her birthday and my gosh it would be a waste to ignore that level Swift-Math when it comes to 1989!!

..Dare I say it. Will her birthday be the release date for this supposed double album drop? What gives on the mysterious lack of collabs? Surely we will get a surprise something yeah?????!!!

Only time will tell!…

🤡

Thankyou for dropping by down town Clown Town DeluLu, where todays Clown Climate is feeling extra Clowdy, the current Clown crew is sitting at a comfortable 3 followers so far - but I’m not doing this (solely) for the likes and follows. It’s my form of escapism 💙 Clowning is my (other) boyfriend!

Until then,

.. I saw something they can’t take away

Dani

Xx

[your-wisteria-grows]

Midnights Tour Dream Setlist

(Operating on the assumption that there will be a tour, and that it will be Midnights focused... not sure why it wouldn’t be if there it existed, but you never know, with all the new music Taylor has put out in the last 3 years)

As far as I can tell, her setlists range from 16-19 songs, and given that her success has risen quite substantially since reputation, and the fact that there are 3 other albums since then which won’t get their own tours, I can see her possibly having one or two extra songs added to the 19 for reputation. That said, I know nothing about the planning of big tours and the logistics involved. bonus points if those 2 extra songs are done for an encore - why hasn’t she done those since Speak Now???

Here comes the clownery...

Probably one song from the album tracklist will be left out (as was the case with both 1989 and reputation), so that makes 13 songs from the Midnights Deluxe.

That leaves us with 6, potentially 8 extra songs for her to play. Especially since most of the songs on Midnights will be on the shorter side due to the standard edition being only 1LP, I am leaning towards 8.

Given her extensive discography, I can see her doing mashups of older songs, like she did several times on rep. We’ll probably see Love Story and/or WANEGBT in this capacity. Not sure about any music from albums she hasn’t re recorded, mainly because of the fact there are so many other songs she’s released that haven’t ever been performed, and it helps to eliminate some of her discography right off the bat

I would love to see Cruel Summer. I think she knows by now that this fandom is dying to have a live performance of Cruel Summer, and even just imagining  seeing it live gives me goosebumps. I would be very surprised if it wasn’t included.

I have a feeling that we could get ME! or YNTCD, maybe a mashup of the two to save a slot, and also given that those are singles but not very well received ones

There’s got to be at least one folklore and evermore song each. My first thought for those would be cardigan and willow, again because they are singles, but maybe she does a mashup of those as well, like at the Grammys?

She’ll almost definitely have a surprise song slot again, to be able to perform more songs from folkmore

And here’s where my predictions start really moving into dream territory...

If I could have 1 more song from both albums, though I’m not sure the likelihood of this, I would literally lay down and die if she played champagne problems. I think the whole audience would simply perish and she would watch on and smile. evilly. I can also very much see her playing august though, and that would be so fun

IBYTAM got a music video and was basically a single from Red (Taylor’s Version). If we get any vault songs (other than ATW10, which i’ll talk about in a sec), I would LOVE to hear this live. Absolutely iconic.

I can see her playing Mr. Perfectly Fine, since I think that did well with the GP and definitely did well with fans, and I personally would love to see that live

I keep going back and forth on whether I think she’ll do ATW10, since it’s so long, but then again it would do perfectly for a time killer in between sets. just picture this: just her on guitar, the whole stadium screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs... maybe waving light up wristbands... sounds pretty fucking magical

so, my setlist (in no particular order):

1-13 - Midnights Album 14 - Love Story mashup ? 15 - Cruel Summer 16 - ME! and/or YNTCD (or something) 17 - cardigan/willow 18 - surprise song 19 - IBYTAM

bonus: (if i had my way) 20 - Mr Perfectly Fine 21 - champagne problems/august

BONUS bonus All Too Well 10 Minute Version

Here’s where I get really greedy... I recently went to the Gorillaz on tour. They’ve got a lot of albums and a lot of music to choose from. Their setlist was 28 songs, which averages out to be 4 hours long (omfg). Florence + the Machine’s average setlist for Dance Fever is 23 songs, and she’s got 5 or so albums out. All this to say... if i could choose even MORE songs for her to perform...

I would LOVE The Very First Night, False God, Paper Rings, Death by a Thousand Cuts, Daylight, even Message in A Bottle, which, in terms of vault tracks, has probably the more of a chance compared to TVFN, considering the promotion its gotten in movies like Superpets, and I’ve heard it several times in retail stores (including my work yay)

anyways if you read through this whole thing, thanks for putting up with my rambling! let me know your thoughts!! what would everyone else die to hear on tour?

[bananaofswifts]

By : Callie Ahlgrim and Courteney Larocca

Taylor Swift released her eighth studio album, "Folklore," on Friday.

Swift surprised fans by announcing its release just one day in advance — and less than one year after the release of her acclaimed seventh album "Lover."

"Most of the things I had planned this summer didn't end up happening, but there is something I had planned that DID happen," she wrote on social media. "And that thing is my 8th studio album, folklore. Surprise!"

She described "Folklore," stylized in all lowercase, as "an entire brand new album of songs I've poured all of my whims, dreams, fears, and musings into."

Much of the 16-song tracklist — 17 on the deluxe edition — was cowritten and produced by The National's Aaron Dessner. Smaller pieces were cowritten by Bon Iver, Jack Antonoff, and someone named William Bowery. Antonoff also produced five songs.

Insider's music team (reporter Callie Ahlgrim and celebrity and music editor Courteney Larocca) listened to the new album on our own, jotting down our initial thoughts track by track.

Almost immediately, we were forced to reckon with the fact that "Folklore" might be Swift's best album yet — potentially even better than "Red," which previously seemed like it couldn't be topped. We were stunned with the mature, poetic, stunningly understated collection of new songs.

Here is what we thought of each song on "Folklore" upon first listen. (Skip to the end to see the only songs worth listening to and the album's final score.)

"The 1" is the best album opener Swift has had in years.

Ahlgrim: "I'm doing good, I'm on some new s---" is a wild way to begin a new Taylor Swift album. This is going to be different.

This is easily the best intro song she's released in years. "The 1" far surpasses "I Forgot That You Existed" on "Lover," "...Ready for It?" on "Reputation," and "Welcome to New York" on "1989" in terms of sheer quality.

It's also an engaging scene-setter; I find myself gently rocking back and forth, eyes closed, smiling without realizing. It's only the first song and so far, I am totally grasping the woodsy aesthetic of this album. I'm already ready for more.

Larocca: I would argue that there hasn't been a strong album opener on one of Swift's albums since "State of Grace" on "Red" in 2012. "The 1" breaks that curse.

I was vibing from that very first piano note, but when Swift comes in and warmly delivers the first line of the album — "I'm doing good, I'm on some new s---" — it became evident this project wouldn't be anything like the rest of her discography.

As far as "The 1" goes as a standalone song, it's incredibly solid. Swift has a breezy attention to rhythm as she paints a tale of a the-one-who-got-away romance. I truly, truly love it. This might end up being an all-time favorite track.

"Cardigan" is beautifully influenced by Lana Del Rey.

Ahlgrim: I heard "Cardigan" first because I watched the music video before I listened to the album.

Right off the bat, I was struck by the Lana Del Rey melody in the chorus; I jotted down "folksy 'Blue Jeans.'"

Swift has actually cited Del Rey as an inspiration in the past, so this makes sense — and that particular shade of nostalgic, haunting glamour really works for Swift's voice, so I'm overall very impressed with this direction. I am more than amenable to a "Red" meets "Norman F---ing Rockwell!" album experience. On my second time around listening, sans music video, "Cardigan" already feels richer coming after "The 1."

This time, I'm struck by small lyrical details like "Sequined smile, black lipstick," a clear callback to her past eras, and "Tried to change the ending / Peter losing Wendy," an effective way to evoke young love and innocence lost.

I also think the song's central refrain, "When you are young they assume you know nothing," is clean and sharp and — especially given Swift's public struggles with sexism and years-old contracts — extremely poignant.

Larocca: I had the thought that Swift listens to Lana Del Rey after hearing "Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince" on last year's "Lover," but now I know for sure that Del Rey is an influence on Swift.

While "Cardigan" isn't what I thought this album would be like sonically, I'm overjoyed at how clearly singer-songwriter this album already is. I've been waiting years for Swift to make a lyrical marvel set to acoustic, warm, folksy instrumentals and it's here.

(And while I expected something different sonically, I am not mad at all by the backing instrumental choices here.)

"The Last Great American Dynasty" proves Swift is a natural storyteller.

Ahlgrim: Personally, I love Storyteller Taylor, so this is quite literally music to my ears.

There are so many delicious details here to unpack. The first verse, with its subtle sexist whisperings about Rebekah Harkness ("How did a middle-class divorcée do it?" and "It must have been her fault his heart gave out"), is a truly savvy way to set up for the song's eventual reveal.

Rebekah spent her time partying with friends, funding the ballet, playing card games with Salvador Dalí, somehow "ruining everything" — and her Holiday House was "free of women with madness" until Swift herself moved in.

That twist in the bridge is poetic genius. When the final chorus adjusts to the present day, underscoring the parallels between Rebekah and Swift, I'm forcefully reminded of an iconic bridge when Romeo finally proposed and changed everything — but Swift has evolved past daydreams of pure white dresses and fathers giving permission.

Larocca: I'm immediately taken back to 2012's "Starlight" when "The Last Great American Dynasty" starts. Thankfully, this song ends up being a lot better than "Starlight," which always felt more like a filler track on "Red" to me.

I love a lot here: the casual use of "b----," the acute attention to detail ("She stole his dog and dyed it key lime green"), and every version of this line: "There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen."

I had a marvelous time listening to this song.

"Exile," featuring Bon Iver, is one of Swift's most successful duets to date.

Ahlgrim: Swift and Bon Iver, aka Justin Vernon, are two of the best songwriters alive today, so this song was destined to be breathtaking.

Swift has historically had difficulty allowing her voice and vision to coexist with a featured artist; her collaborations often leave me feeling like she should've just delivered the whole song herself.

But Swift and Vernon were able to weave their lyrics together so gracefully, I was left feeling grateful for his presence. His rich, rustic tone and those iconic hummed harmonies lends the regretful song an added coat of sincerity.

The production here is generally fine, but the layered instrumentals in the ending really bring the song together. I love a dramatic exit.

Larocca: When I see a "featuring Bon Iver" on a track, I instantly assume Vernon is going to come in with his high falsetto. So it was almost jarring that the song starts with Vernon sounding like a lumberjack dad who hasn't left the woods in a decade.

That didn't end up being a detriment, though. Swift sounds delicate on her verse, and their vocals contrast nicely later on the track.

This one also brings to mind her collab "The Last Time" with Snow Patrol's Gary Lightbody. The line "I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending" is also reminiscent of "If This Was a Movie."

I'm obsessed with the clear influences Swift's previous discography had on these tracks, which have also so far felt completely unique to her catalog.

"My Tears Ricochet" is an extraordinary display of Swift's songwriting powers.

Ahlgrim: First of all, "My Tears Ricochet" is an incredible song title. Let's take a moment to appreciate that.

In fact, pretty much every line of this song is arresting.

Much of it feels both familiar and rare, like you know exactly what Swift is singing about, but hadn't thought to put it in those words before — which is, in my opinion, the mark of any good piece of writing but especially a breakup song. You can relate to the emotion, if not the particular details. You can hear the pain. It almost plays like a funeral march.

What a gift it is, what an exhilarating experience, to feel like you're listening to a poem being recited in real-time.

Larocca: Any true Swiftie knows that track five is reserved for the most vulnerable moment on the record, so I went into "My Tears Ricochet" ready to be sad.

I am endlessly impressed with how Swift managed to bake the word "ricochet" into this song so effectively. She also ditched her traditional song structure for this one, and instead built the track from peak to peak, utilizing clever lyrics along the way to tell an epic, devastating story, almost obviously calling back to the most beloved track five of "All Too Well."

I'm calling it now — this one is going to age like a fine wine. As all of Swift's best breakup ballads do.

"Mirrorball" is several strokes of genius.

Ahlgrim: This song gives me intense Clairo vibes, and I mean that as a very high compliment.

It's so fun and refreshing to hear Swift slip into different musical styles, and this shimmery take on alternative-bedroom-pop highlights her soft vocals and nuanced songwriting supremely well.

Also, my Leo sensibilities are fully under attack by this bridge: "I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try / I'm still on that trapeze / I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me." Oof! Just tag me next time.

Larocca: This one is so pretty! Swift's vocals sound better than ever as she spins on her highest heels across a glittery daydream.

"I'm a mirrorball / I'll show you every version of yourself tonight" might be the thesis statement of this entire album. So far, "Folklore" feels both diaristic and vague; detailed and completely anonymous.

Fans will be debating for years whether this album is about Swift's own life, or if it's simply really great storytelling pulled directly from her own mind. In the end, it doesn't really matter.

Because as all of Swift's best songs do, these songs will attach themselves to listeners in completely new ways, showing them elements and stories from their own lives.

"Seven" is pure whimsical magic.

Ahlgrim: This is playing make-believe in the garden when you're too young to feel self-conscious; it's poetic and nostalgic and full of awe in such an unpretentious way.

I wouldn't change one thing about this song. Swift's whispery high register sounds divine, and at this point in the tracklist, her rhythmic delivery in the chorus hits like a shot of espresso.

Right now, I'm wondering if it's possible for Swift to maintain this intrigue and momentum for another nine songs. There hasn't been a misstep to speak of, and I remain wholly beguiled. Can it last?

Larocca: The beginning of "Seven" sounds like Swift listened to Marina's "Orange Trees" on repeat before showing up to her songwriting session. Fortunately, "Orange Trees" is the only song I like on Marina's "Love + Fear" so I will gladly accept this inspiration.

Swift continues to impress with both her vocals and her sense of rhythm on "Seven." I also personally love space imagery so the line "Love you to the moon and to Saturn" is a standout line.

"August" will go down as one of the best songs in Swift's extensive repertoire.

Ahlgrim: I'm immediately catching hints of Phoebe Bridgers and girl in red in Swift's delivery. And I simply adore the idea that Swift has spent the last few months sitting at home, daydreaming about summertime humidity and listening to music by queer indie-pop girls. 

In an album full of songwriting expertise, this song has some of Swift's best lines yet: "August sipped away like a bottle of wine / 'Cause you were never mine" actually hurts me.

In my notes, there simply sits this valuable insight (yes, in all-caps): "WANTING WAS ENOUGH. FOR ME IT WAS ENOUGH TO LIVE FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL." This song has my favorite bridge on the album so far.

In terms of production, "August" is exquisite. It's lush and layered without feeling overwhelming at any point. It builds to the perfect level then recedes, like a wave. 

Also worth mentioning: It can now be considered a historical fact that any time Swift mentions a car or driving in one of her songs, it's a perfect song.

Larocca: While listening to "August," I texted Callie and said, "I can't wait to finish the album so I can relisten to 'August.'" It's an instant favorite. 

This is also the first track on the album that seems directly inspired by our current state. Not because she's expressing fear or singing about being bored at home, but because she so easily slips into a reflection of a relationship that ended years ago with a newfound wave of wistful nostalgia. 

When quarantine started, it seemed like a million lifestyle articles came out explaining why everyone suddenly felt compelled to text their exes and why we're so invested in looking back instead of forward right now. 

"August" validates those feelings with zero judgment, letting its listener know that yes, it's totally normal for you to be overanalyzing that quasi-relationship you were in back in college that never made it past graduation. Am I projecting? Maybe, but that's debatably what Swift's music is best utilized for.

I'm also going to be thinking about this song's bridge and outro for the rest of my life.

The National's influence can be felt on the stunning "This Is Me Trying."

Ahlgrim: "This Is Me Trying" quickly strikes a more sinister tone than its predecessors — still nostalgic and wistful, but carrying an edge, like a threatening secret.

Ironically, this one was co-written and co-produced by Jack Antonoff, not Aaron Dessner, though I can really hear The National's influence here. I'm getting strong wafts of songs like "Pink Rabbits" and "Dark Side of the Gym."

Based on Swift's own words, we can speculate that "This Is Me Trying" is a fictional tale, built around the image of "a 17-year-old standing on a porch, learning to apologize." And, as previously stated, I'm a big fan of Storyteller Taylor, so I'm into it.

The song's darker tone mingles really well with Swift's imagery; when you're a teenager, and you make a mistake, it can feel like the end of the world.

Larocca: "This Is Me Trying" is precisely what I imagined this album sounding like when I found out Swift collaborated with the National's Aaron Dessner and Bon Iver.

But I'm glad she was strategic about her use of echo and also finally paid attention to the tracklisting from a sonic standpoint. This haunting soundscape is reminiscent of 2014's "This Love" and comes in right when you need it after the yearning daydream of "August."  

I'd also like it to be on the record that the line "I got wasted like all my potential" ruined me and this song is a win for that lyric alone.

"Illicit Affairs" is a glowing example of what sets Swift apart from her peers as a songwriter.

Ahlgrim: The expert songwriting on "Illicit Affairs" reminds me of the as-yet unseated queen in Swift's discography: "All Too Well."

Swift is a master of wielding specific details like weapons: "What started in beautiful rooms / Ends with meetings in parking lots," she sings. "Leave the perfume on the shelf / That you picked out just for him." These are the sorts of images that set Swift apart, and they're especially strong when she punctuates their delivery with a little growl in her voice.

This song has real power. I have chills.

That power is magnified in the third verse, similar to how "All Too Well" builds to a crescendo: "Don't call me 'kid,' don't call me 'baby' / Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me."

Certainly, "Illicit Affairs" is more restrained than Swift's iconic arena rock ballad, but goddamn that last verse hits hard.

Larocca: The way that she says "him" in the second verse shook me out of my skin in the very best way. And "Don't call me 'kid,' don't call me 'baby' / Look at this idiotic fool that you made me" will go down as one of her best breakup lines of all time.  

It's been a minute since Swift delivered a painstakingly beautiful breakup ballad, and the fact that this album is littered with them is, simply, a gift.  

"Illicit Affairs" has growing power and will likely become one of those tracks that fans form a strong emotional attachment to over time.

"Invisible String" is Taylor Swift at her most Taylor Swift.

Ahlgrim: "Invisible String" is a feast of Easter eggs and callbacks.

"Teal was the color of your shirt" reminds me of the line about Joe Alwyn's blue eyes on "Delicate," and her reference to a dive bar is similarly familiar. "Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs" recalls the push-and-pull on "Exile."

"Bad was the blood of the song in the cab" is undoubtedly a reference to Swift's 2015 single "Bad Blood," while "One single thread of gold / Tied me to you" feels like a nod to Swift's description of love's "golden" hue on the "Lover" album closer "Daylight."

This song is sprightly and sparkly and certainly nice to listen to, but its real strength lies in these details.

Swift is weaving many different stories on this album, many connected by a sort of "Invisible String," tying different pieces of her life and your life and other lives together. It ends up feeling like a growing plant with far-reaching roots, or a sentient treasure map.

Larocca: I'd be lying if I said there weren't multiple points throughout this album where I worried that Swift and her boyfriend Joe Alwyn had broken up. 

Thankfully, "Invisible String" is a rosy, wide-eyed ode to love. The plucky guitar paired with Swift's soft vocals is a sound I want to live in, which is fitting since this track feels like coming home. 

Every small detail, from the nod to Alwyn's time spent working at a frozen yogurt shop in his youth, to the color imagery that paints every inflection of Swift's adoration (especially the single thread of gold) come together to lay the holy ground Swift's relationship walks on. 

Also, the image of Swift mailing Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner gifts for their expectant first child brings about an unbridled sense of joy.

"Mad Woman" is yet another highlight.

Ahlgrim: Every time I think I've heard the peak of this album's songwriting potential, Swift manages to surprise me. 

Case in point: "Do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn? / Does she smile? / Or does she mouth, 'F--- you forever?'" Whoa.

And another, for good measure: "It's obvious that wanting me dead / Has really brought you two together." I texted Courteney, "Did she really just say that??"

This song is sublime on its own, but the way it ties back into the perception of female freedom and "madness" on "The Last Great American Dynasty" makes it even better. "Mad Woman" is definitely a personal favorite so far on this album, if not in Swift's entire catalog.

Larocca: "Mad Woman" will forever hold the honor of being the first song in which Swift says "f---" and for that, we should all be thankful. 

I was also so wrapped up in the storytelling of this album, that it took a minute for this to even register that this is likely about the Scooter Braun and Scott Borchetta / Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West ordeals of Swift's past. These callouts used to be so obvious, that I greatly appreciate the subtlety and restraint here. 

It almost feels like these feuds were a lifetime ago, but this track does an excellent job at showcasing how anger and pain can leave an indelible mark on you. Swift went mad years ago, and that's just an accepted part of her narrative now. 

But for the first time, her rage sounds like freedom.

"Epiphany" doesn't stand out.

Ahlgrim: There are some really interesting vocal moments on "Epiphany," but so far, this is the only song I haven't felt captivated by. It's a bit snoozy, and a bit too long.

This song clearly references war, the loss of a loved one, and the coronavirus pandemic, which makes it lyrically intriguing at best — but distressing at worst. I don't mind letting the overall effect waft over me, but this won't be a song I revisit outside the context of the album.

Larocca: "Epiphany" is the only track on "Folklore" that didn't immediately grab me. It's essentially a war drama in song format, so some people might like it, but I truly couldn't care less about war movies or war songs! So it's not my favorite, but it makes for pretty background music. 

"Epiphany" does have another benefit though: Now, whenever some random dude erroneously claims Swift "only writes songs about her exes," fans have a clear song in her discography that they can point to and be like, "That's not true. This one's about war." 

That's not to say Swift needed that — anyone who has been paying attention understands she's quite possibly the best songwriter of her generation.  

This just happens to be further proof of that fact.

"Betty" is a charming callback to Swift's country roots.

Ahlgrim: "Betty" is like the best, sauciest song from Swift's 2006 debut country album that no one got to hear. It has sonic and lyrical similarities to hits like "Our Song" and "Tim McGraw," plus some name-dropping stuff like 2008's "Hey Stephen," plus a little harmonica thrown in for good measure! I love that for us.

"Betty" also appears to complete a three-song story, recalling details from "Cardigan" and "August" to close the loop on Betty and James, a couple in high school with some infidelity issues.

Looking back, it feels like "Cardigan" was told from Betty's perspective, while "August" was told from the perspective of a sort of "other woman" character. Now, we get James' side of the story. This is high art, folks! This is peak Storytelling Taylor!

"Betty" is also, like, very gay? I know it's easy to assume that James is a male character, but Swift herself was named after James Taylor, so she could be referring to herself. The song also references someone named Inez; James and Inez are the names of Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's daughters.

Plus, in retrospect, the idea of whispering "Are you sure? Never have I ever before" during a summer fling seems pretty gay to me.

I'm not saying the story of Betty and James would be better if it was written about sapphic lovers, but I'm not not saying that.

Larocca: This one is gay, and if you try to tell me otherwise, I will simply ignore you. 

But Courteney, it's from the perspective of a guy named James. James and the other character, Inez, share the same names as Reynolds and Lively's kids (will leave it up to you to decide if that means their third daughter's name is Betty). James is their daughter. Get out of here with your antiquated ideas about which names connotate which genders. 

To me, the James named in this song is a woman and a lesbian and this song is for the gays. I will not be saying anything else or accepting any feedback on this opinion, thank you.

"Peace" is honest and raw.

Ahlgrim: This song's intro sounds like LCD Soundsystem had a baby with "The Archer." The gentle guitar riff is also lovely.

With Dessner's echoey production, Swift's voice sounds like a warm little fire in a cave — fitting, since she sings in the chorus, "I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm."

OK damn, I'm getting really emotional. This songwriting is beautiful and haunting. "Peace" perfectly captures the ambient dread of feeling your partner slip away, of wondering whether love can be enough. 

Larocca: If you're a "Call It What You Want" stan, you're going to love its mature older sister "Peace." 

I will hereby forever be thinking about the parallels between "But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm" with "He built a fire just to keep me warm" and between "Family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother" with "Trust him like a brother."

Also, "Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?" has the same emotional impact as when Swift changes the lyric in "The Archer" to "I see right through me" and that's meant as the highest form of compliment. 

Swift's vocals are so crisp, that guitar riff is so stunning, and these lyrics are so gut-wrenchingly vulnerable. A perfect song, through and through.

"Hoax" is unlike any other album closer in Swift's catalog.

Ahlgrim: I don't know if Swift is going through a traumatic breakup, but if she isn't, the woman is one convincing creative writer.

The National makes some of my favorite music to cry to, so when I heard Aaron Dessner had co-written and produced much of this album, I knew I was in for some glossy cheeks. Until now, I think I've felt too captivated by Swift's artistry to really let myself get there.

But finally, "Hoax" is making me cry.

This is heart-wrenching stuff for anyone, but for a fan and student of Swift's work, this is like reading a friend's diary entry.

"Don't want no other shade of blue, but you" must be a reference to "Delicate," in which Swift sings: "Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you / Oh damn, never seen that color blue." Later, she croons, "You know I left a part of me back in New York," perhaps regretting the move to London that she detailed throughout "Lover." 

"You knew it still hurts underneath my scars / From when they pulled me apart," recalling the public shaming she endured and demons she exorcised on "Reputation." "But what you did was just as dark." Like I said before: Whoa.

Personally, I love having a good cry set to moody music, so I appreciate Swift's soul-bearing. "Hoax" is one gut-punch of an album closer.

Larocca: Swift has a habit of ending her albums on an uplifting, hopeful note and I always eat it up. But if "Folklore" hadn't made it clear by now that it should be consumed differently than any of her previous works, "Hoax" brings that message home.  

Instead of reveling in all the ways that love has made her stronger, happier, or more whole, "Hoax" deconstructs everything Swift has learned about love and leaves a bleaker picture about how maybe even the best of relationships hurt. 

But at its most tragic, this love still isn't something Swift will ever let go of: "Don't want no other shade of blue but you / No other sadness in the world would do."  

Finishing a Taylor Swift album has never been so devastating.

Final Grade: 9.7/10

[septembersghost]

what are dream Taylor collabs? (besides Harry and Niall, obviously the world needs those!) 😏💗

Harry and Niall are literally top two, and it’s fun because it seems absolutely impossible on the one hand, but also maybe isn’t on the other? maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming... rumor has it that Niall and Taylor already almost collaborated on something (me, staring at the unspeakable remix of Lover: Niall was right there...), and then it didn’t happen for whatever reason, but it’s certainly not that far-fetched. (Niall on Red, please). with Harry, it’s likely less fathomable, except we do have on the record Jacknife Lee (who co-wrote/produced The Last Time with Taylor and Gary Lightbody for Red, and then he and Gary co-wrote/produced Something Great with Harry for Midnight Memories), saying:

Taylor was nice and very professional. She knew what she wanted and there was no f***ing about. She was seeing Harry Styles at the time, so he came to Topanga on her recommendation. She wrote a few songs with him, and it was the same thing – quick. But this time it was more directed by the management and label. They were after something specific. I wanted more acoustic and gentle, almost Americana, and they wanted bombast. They got what they wanted, and that was the extent of my foray into teen-pop territory. It was fun. (x)

so those songs they wrote exist, somewhere! (in Taylor’s vault perhaps?) they would also be Red-era, but could still potentially fall into 1989 territory. all I know is it would be everything.

I’m also curious whether she has plans to re-record I Don’t Wanna Live Forever with Zayn, I wouldn’t have expected her to do that with soundtrack songs, but Today was a Fairytale showing up on Fearless has me second-guessing that. (this extends to Eyes Open and especially my beloved Safe and Sound, since The Civil Wars aren’t together anymore).

I’d love for her to officially collab with FOB (or Patrick, generally? those voices?!), which, before you say that sounds mad, 1. we got Brendon on a pop song!, 2. this happened, 3. “Pete Wentz is probably… if I had to pick a favorite lyricist, it’d be a tie between him and Lana Del Rey. ‘Blank Space’ is a song that’s just zingers, one after another after another, which I definitely learned from listening to Fall Out Boy. (x)” p l e a s e

if we’re talking dream lists, it’d be so cool to see her collab with any of the legends that have influenced her - Paul McCartney, Carole King, Stevie Nicks, James Taylor (we’ve had interactions/performances between her and each of them, but I’d love an actual recording, you know?).

I have a long list of women I’d love for her to work with, but I think (and this is totally fine and I don’t have an issue with it) Taylor’s a little more into duets with men that can be like a back and forth conversation? still, Lorde. Lady Gaga. (I KNOW, but, as a fan of both of them, and apparently one of the few people in the world who cherishes Joanne - listen to the piano version of Joanne, the song - plus my favorite songs she’s ever done being in A Star is Born, they absolutely could mix if they met in the middle of their pop/rock/country infused styles. if queens Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer could do this iconic duet in 1979, then there is no reason why we can’t have Taylor/Gaga in 2021). Beyonce too, for that matter. Hayley Williams. this could go on...

I saw someone mention The Lumineers for Speak Now/Red and that would be cool. Hozier for reputation. a very out there one for me is Leslie Odom Jr., because if Leslie could remix a song of his to include Sia, why NOT Taylor?! this partially stems from my not-so-secret desire to know what it would be like if the incomparable songwriting prowess of Taylor and LMM could be combined to take the world by storm (especially given some of the parallels between folklore/evermore and lyrics of Eliza’s, the particulars of Burn - you built me palaces out of paragraphs - even Breathe from In the Heights, are so reminiscent of the way Taylor paints her musical language and emotive expression).

there are just so many! and of course I’m biased towards my other faves (which is why H and N are at the top...shh).

who knows what she might have up her magical sleeves?! 💖

[iwanthermidnightz]

The following is the summary of Kate’s latest episode on Taylor. Forgive the back and forth and random points... Kate likes to ramble. It was literally an hour and a half of that but she did bring up some good points. This is her analyzing ‘The Archer’ among other things! For the record, I’m writing from her perspective/direct words.

————————————————-

-Thinks The Archer is beautiful, ethereal, and lush

-It’s very Donna Lewis, very Robyn, it’s a nostalgic sound, very Jack Antonoff, very Lorde Melodrama.. its a certain sound reverberating female celestial voices that reminds her of the 90s and she likes it

-It’s a promo single which means it’s released to promote the album, it’s not released to radio stations for airplay- no music video

-Sounds transitional, unfinished song… it’s building

-Released to convey a level of emotional vulnerability

-Taylor said in radio interviews in the UK that this album is very pure and it’s not in response to something like she said reputation was

-“Lover is about what songs would I write for the sake of writing songs? Most of them are about love in the sense that they’re a love letter to love itself”

-We’re in an era with VERY little information

-We’ve seen Joe twice in 2019 (go figure)

-Taymerica, Squad, Calvin, we see her all the time

-Then she gets in this mysterious private ‘relationship’ with Joe almost so much so that there’s no reason to speculate or think about her personal life because it’s so under the radar and she’s never officially talked about him

-She automatically likes his Instagram posts within 2 minutes which a lot of us think is some sort of thing Instagram does for people like her

-She has a theory Taylor and Taylornation can see stories without read receipts (duh)

-The Archer represents a person that's reflecting on their behavior and their patterns and thinking about their relationships in life and thinking about the role of self-sabotage as it relates to your personal relationships

-Talks about the dive bar situation, she needs to spend more time thinking about it

-She talks about the easter eggs leading up to the archer and debates whether Taylor planned this out 3 years ago because of the archer angel in the delicate mv, and the way the people in the delicate mv see right through her, it makes sense

-She always wondered what aspects of Taylors personal life is a media narrative. What has she actually confirmed herself? What are these songs really saying?

-She thinks the songs on reputation sound like really closeted anthems

-It’s none of her business what her sexuality is but it is her business to interpret her songs the way any open-minded person should

-So much of reputation she really read being about a relationship with a woman because it was so grounded in secrecy, quiet moments, darkest little paradise, happened for the first time, I don’t want you like a best friend, everybody thinks that they know us but they know nothing about us, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us, I had a bad feeling… (yes she named them all in the same breath)

-Lyrics have never been about the protection and privatization of involuntarily public love, they’ve been lyrics about a perception of a forbidden love -It’s one thing to hide from the paparazzi, and to be like “something happens when everybody finds out, loose lips sink ships all the damn time”, recites ‘I Know Places’ basically- calls it a closeted anthem because Taylor literally comes out of closet doors on the 1989 tour.

-Thinks there are themes in Taylors songs that she might miss as a straight person and doesn’t want to discount them

-She was reading an article in Vulture written by none other than known Kaylor truther Jill Gutowitz, mentioned how Jill very openly talks about Gaylor and Karlie Kloss and even recently Tree Paine liked one of her tweets

-Tree Paine is a mastermind and has boots on the ground everywhere (Indeed she is!)

-Thinks the Tree Paine like was strategic

-Jill said in an article that there were implicitly queer lyrics placed throughout ‘The Archer’: ‘pace like a ghost’, ‘heroes die all alone’, ‘help me hold onto you’, dying alone and holding on to someone who isn’t right for you are all important tenants of the lesbian canon (shes quoting Jill)

-Kate did not pick up on any of that cause shes straight haha

-Mentions how Taylors fans are divided by those who think her songs are blatantly queer and those who don’t and believe the Toe relationship is real bc the media shows them that and they believe it firsthand (true)

-She quotes the reputation prologue “when the album comes out gossip blogs will scour the lyrics for the men they can attribute to each song as if the inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test and there will be slideshows and photos backing up each incorrect theory because it’s 2017 and if you didn’t see a picture of it it didn’t happen right? Let me say it again louder for those in the back… we think we know someone but the truth is that we only know the version of them that they have chosen to show us.”

-Kate says that those are her actual straightforward words and you can’t read that and say that it's not okay to believe in things we haven’t seen or that it’s calling her a liar to only believe what we’ve seen if she is telling us to our faces that we think we know her but the truth is we only know the version of herself that she has chosen to show us

-That is an admission of Taylor being strategic in what we know, and a ton we don’t know

-The prologue should’ve opened up the doors for an and all theories to be fair game but somehow it divided the fandom deeper than she’s ever seen

-Calling her a liar about what she’s told us thus far is not fair (it takes a mature person to understand that)

-The Taylor Swift strategic businesswoman who keeps us on our toes waiting for new music and clues is part of her success- not all. But there is a difference between that Taylor and the Taylor she is behind closed doors. She’s still a person. So to say she's a liar is not right.

-We can’t imagine what it takes to be in her position and not have lost her mind yet

-Maybe shes had a breakdown but we haven’t seen it (wasn’t that her disappearance before reputation?)

-Kate goes back to ‘The Archer’ and her internal struggle

-She read something that Taylor liked on Tumblr where someone said that The Archer is the song version of her poem called “If you’re anything like me”... epiphany.

-The song is about talking about her shortcomings while simultaneously accepting them and saying if you’re anything like me I’m sorry but you’ll be fine

-Kate recites the whole poem now lol

-Showcases a lot of strength in your weakness and pointing out the importance of going through these things in order to find oneself and to acknowledge that some things are just pillars of the way you are

-Back to the archer - this song is about the unwelcome justice system in her head in terms of patterns, knowing how she's going to react, in terms of wishing she were another way and objectively being able to see that but not being able to feel that is a very human experience to constantly be in between your head and your heart

-You only know your own experience, anyone that's hurt you stays in your subconscious or otherwise and we often react in response or defense of it and when she’s saying “no amount of friends at 25 will fill the empty seats at the lunch tables of your past and the teams that picked you last but darling, you keep trying”

-She has been criticized so many times and publicly taken down, shes felt like she can't do anything right at times

-Brings up the ME! Performance at the Billboard awards and no one talked about the performance, just that she ‘copied Beyonce’

-Stuff like that that was not intentional is often pegged on her for better or worse, correct or not

-To be accused of copying or being tone-deaf when shes probably orchestrated this team to make sure none of that happened would be so thankless and frustrating and sometimes the hate is louder

-At times in her career, she's had no choice but to jump to her own overwhelming defense

-You can't trust a lot of people if you are easily used and you do have to be somewhat cut and dry and I think that being put in an environment where it benefits you to be cut and dry because there are so many shady people but maybe she doesn’t really want to be

-She has no choice but to be black or white about her life and feelings and standing up for herself

-Back to The Archer- Kate doesn’t understand the point of “I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey”

-It’s kind of like I’ve been the attacker and I’ve been the victim, I’ve had the upper hand and I’ve had the lower hand, I’ve been the dumper and I’ve been dumped

-Kate thinks Taylor’s been on the attack and defense and she knows what it feels like to be treated the exact same way she treats people and therein lies the issue

-That’s a confusing thing to process in your head period and to communicate in a song is inevitably going to be a little bit frantic and convoluted but that's kind of the point. The anxiety of how you handle things and how you accept yourself despite the way you likely mishandle things

-Taylor starts out saying “I’m ready for combat” in the most reluctant, delicate voice that is not indicative of somebody ready for combat

-That sounds like somebody who is a reluctant participant in their own patterns and they don’t want to be doing it but they know they’re going to and they know they’ll do it again

-These patterns and issues that we have exhibit over and over the reason for self-loathing and it's almost harder when you’re older and can acknowledge that you do these things and they don’t work for you but I still do them anyway

-It’s that self awareness paired with the active participation in these bad habits that make a person really start to doubt themselves and in using figures of speech like “I cut off my nose just to spite my face”, like that cuts deep bc she's basically being like “I overreact and I know I do and on purpose”

-In acting out of anxiety and fear you often end up riding off alone

-At a point you see people come and go, you know how this whole song and dance goes, at a point you start to mourn it before it's over

-That’s kind of like “yeah I never figured out the best way to maintain these relationships and I’m tired of it, I never grew up, I don’t know why I am this way but since I know they come and go and since I’ve always ridden on the train alone that probably what I’ll do again but with your help, help me hold onto you… like I want you to be the exception”

-We all think of ourselves as a catch and a trainwreck and it’s not a bad thing

-Looking for someone’s flaws is something everyone does in relationships

-As it relates to in the past when she’s been burned by somebody’s dark side she wants to call it when she sees it and lock the door before she gets robbed but then there's the conflicting part where she’s like “well what I’m alright, what if I can trust you and I’m alright right here?”

-The entire song is kind of like a back and forth of opposing feelings

-To cut off your nose to spite your face is basically a metaphor for overreacting

-She brings up the Hiddleswift stunt and Taylor revealing that she was Nils Solberg for some reason (connecting it to the metaphor)

(KATE IS RAMBLING SO I’M ONLY ADDING IMPORTANT THINGS NOW)

-We’re so quick to discount people's feelings just because they're in a position of fame and fortune and power but I think we would all feel no less us with money if anything everything’s intensified

-Taylor must have to put up a front all the time because she's not allowed to complain or have bad days when that is your normal and any therapist will tell you you can only heal operating out of your own normal.

-Pain is pain and when you start to compare pain is when you start to trivialize, minimize and not work through what you’re going through and you start to avoid/ignore it

-Taylors in a weird position where she probably has a more internal struggle that anybody

-Through her music we should acknowledge and think about what it’s like on that side, we owe her the respect to be like damn.. this must be hard

-Talks about the “all the king's horses” line and Humpty Dumpty

-All of the resources and people trying to help Taylor at her disposal and they still can’t fix this and that is an empty feeling, like a lost cause

-When Kate hears ‘The Archer’ she hears a highly anxious episode that is not just processing the individual situation going on but then doing a thing where you project it on every single thing that's ever going to happen in your life

OK FIN.

[tayloralison]

🌿 💫 🌟 🐍 :)

thank you duzi!!

🌿: favorite album

godd i don’t know. i love pop taylor so i always keep going back and forth between 1989, reputation, and lover. i think maybe 1989 ? but also rep ? but lover is so soft ? omg i don’t know!!! 

💫: speak now world tour or reputation stadium tour?

reputation for sure omg it was so theatrical and loud and wow. i can’t believe that was real. 

🌟: which song most describes you?

enchanted !!! also not to make the mood sad but tied together with a smile djhjgkd

🐍: favorite lyrics from reputation

i answered this here but i forgot “starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night”

[figr0llmouse]

The Real Poor Unfortunate Soul

Note: I came up with this while at work and I felt like I had to write it down before I lost the motivation to do so. This is my first attempt at writing “fanfic” in a long time, so please keep that in mind when offering constructive criticism.

Synopsis: More or less the same story as the 1989 film The Little Mermaid, except that it is from Ursula’s POV(mostly); and it is just an attempt at filling in the blanks where I thought was needed. I hope to write more entries in the future. Until then, enjoy!

Fanfiction.net URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/13276408/

Part 1: Pre-Poor Unfortunate Souls

Hidden within her bed chamber, Ursula sat deep in thought, as she waited for her eel henchmen Flotsam & Jetsam to bring Princess Ariel to her lair for an unscheduled appointment. Just a few minutes earlier, she had witnessed an explosive argument between Ariel and her father King Triton, which was transmitted to her crystal ball via F & J witnessing the situation in real time, and which resulted in destroyed objects and the princess collapsing onto the ground in tears. At first seeing Ariel and her father argue over his human prejudices filled Ursula with malicious glee. This was turning out to be so perfect! While she held deep resentment for the entire Atlantican Royal Family, Ursula’s real grudge was with King Triton who had permanently banished the sea witch from the kingdom for the crime of usurping the throne; or so the official story goes. In reality Triton was growing jealous of Ursula’s talents in witchcraft and magic, which won her praise and acclaim amongst the merfolk who sought her services and advice; and he feared that along with her bared ambition, she would seek to challenge his rule over Atlantica by staging a coup. So it was not long until vicious rumours about her started spreading all over the kingdom, magical abnormalities started cropping up which were blamed solely on her and her witchcraft business suffered as a result. Living in Atlantica became so unbearable that Ursula had no choice but to pack up her belongings and leave the kingdom for good. The only customers she can currently get consist of the curious merfolk who had heard the stories of the “evil sea witch”, and wanted to seek her out for themselves and the desperate. And Ursula in her simmering rage and bitterness over her predicament which has never abated all these years, went out of her way to make her deals with her customers as difficult for them to fulfill as possible, to ensure she could survive another day. So when she became aware of the fact that Triton and his youngest daughter’s relationship was strained over her desire for the human world, Ursula finally saw an opportunity to enact revenge on the king. She had no genuine hard feelings for Ariel; she just saw her as the crucial key to Triton’s undoing. By the end of their argument, Ursula’s mood of sadistic triumph had vanished, and seeing Ariel huddled on the ground surrounded by broken objects evoked feelings of…..anger. At Triton for behaving like his typical petulant bastard self. The violent nature of his loss of temper alone brought to light painful memories of her past Ursula thought she had buried and forgotten. And compassion. For Ariel. The latter made Ursula want to slap herself. Was she going soft in her old age? She was The Sea Witch; she had a reputation to uphold! Ever since she started sending F & J to spy on Ariel, Ursula’s feelings toward her developed from mutual curiosity, to lustful attraction, to full-blown obsession. Something about that fiery red hair and vibrant youthfulness awakened a deep longing and new-found passion that Ursula had not felt for a long time. She saw in Ariel an adventurous spirit which could not be confined to the depths of the ocean and which could prove detrimental to her father’s plans for her future. A young woman who despite her high status was an outsider. Just like her.

                               "She’s waiting.“

F & J’s slow drawling announcement woke Ursula up from her daydream and she sat up straight, while still keeping herself hidden in anticipation for Ariel’s entrance. She finally appeared; she swam forth from behind the wall of the entrance, her posture bent low, like she wanted to disappear into thin air that very second. Her large eyes darted around the room in fear, her face woebegone and tearful. Ursula was taken aback by such an open display of raw vulnerability.  It was hard to believe that this pitiful creature standing inside her humble lair, was the young Princess in Waiting of Atlantica. All Ursula wanted to do at that moment was take Ariel into her arms, comfort her and lay down with her and never let her go. For one brief moment, Ursula almost re-considered proceeding forward with her plan. Alas her golden opportunity was here now and she had to take advantage of it before she lost it for good. Maybe when this whole ordeal was over, provided that it went her way of course, Ursula could persuade Ariel to start a new life with her, where she could be her own personal magical muse. There would be no need for her to end up being yet another sea polyp like the rest of her “customers”, no. Ursula was prepared to make the end result as painless as possible for Ariel.  Ensure that she will grow to enjoy her new surroundings. Heaven knows how lonely Ursula has felt so many nights, with nobody but her henchmen and a garden of moaning polys keeping her company. It would be a nice change to have a relationship with someone who had such a love for learning and an appreciation for the finer things in life. Now was the time to act, before Ariel got cold fins and swam back out again.

                               "Come in, come in my child.“

Ursula’s deep seductive voice echoed all around the room. Ariel froze, not knowing where to look and how to react.

                               "We mustn’t lurk in doorways, it’s rude.”

Suddenly the sea witch materialised right behind the mermaid, two of her tentacles wrapping around Ariel’s waist while she pulled her closer to her bosom in a type of embrace; taking Ariel’s small petite hands and clasping them into her own. Ariel reacted to all of this with surprise, this was not what she expected.  After her confrontation with her father, Ariel had decided to turn to Ursula for help as a last resort, her head filled with the stories of “that dangerous sea witch” who had nothing but contempt for all that is pure and good. But feeling the witch’s tentacles messaging her hips and her warm, tender embrace sent a shock wave through her system. It was all she could do to not burst into tears again, even if they were of relief. Slowly Ariel started to feel her resolve strengthen.

               "One might question your…..(here Ursula turns Ariel around slowly so that they were now face to face, one tentacle cupping Ariel’s chin so that they finally made eye-contact, their lips almost touching)…upbringing!” the witch said with a wide, toothy smile.

With a voluptuous chuckle, Ursula carried Ariel into her spell room where she gently untangled her while she swam towards her boudoir. Peering at the reflection in her mirror, the witch was pleased to see that Ariel, while still appearing to be nervous, seemed much more relaxed and her miserable countenance had evaporated. It would not do much good to do business with a customer who did not feel wanted or special; Ursula was determined to use all that was in her skill-set to exploit Ariel’s weaknesses and make her receptive to whatever she had in store for her. It is better to attract bees with honey, instead of vinegar or however that silly human-created phrase went. 

“So…..you decided to come to me because you have a forbidden interest in the world above. Most especially a human prince to be precise. And Daddy doesn’t like that, does he?” She says as she reapplies her lipstick and fixes her hair.

Ariel shakes her head.

“Well then, it seems such a personal problem of this magnitude requires an even more radical solution.”

With her elbows on the dressing table, her chin resting on her downward-turned hands, Ursula made eye-contact with Ariel through the mirror.

“The only way you can get what you want is by becoming human yourself. And I will help you do just that.”

Hearing this, Ariel’s face lit up with awe; a new-found hope.

“You will do that for me?”

Ariel’s response sent shivers of euphoric pleasure through Ursula’s body; it took a lot of restraint just so she didn’t end up grinning like an absolute fool. She had the mermaid’s full attention now, which guaranteed that her deal with her will go swimmingly. But what really touched her in Ariel’s question to her was its childlike innocence, a willingness to trust her with her fate and its tone revealed respect and admiration. It was more than Ursula hoped for.

“Of course, my sweet child.” Getting up from her seat, Ursula swam towards Ariel, her hands reaching out to cup her face; this time Ariel did not tense up. Rather she let the witch lead her into a sort of strange circular dance with both of them enveloped in the kind of physical space only two souls sharing a common desire could be. Ursula could not tell whether it was real or a part of her fevered imagination…..but she thought she detected a tiny smile spread across Ariel’s lips for a brief moment before being replaced with shy politeness again. 

“What kind of witch would I be, if I didn’t seek to help someone in such distress?” she said while cradling Ariel’s head and stroking her hair. “It broke my heart to see you in tears and alone, who else could possibly understand your plight?

While this was part of Ursula’s strategy for sweet-talking her customers into letting their guards down, all the same the emotion behind her words was real. Which in turn sought to make this double game she was playing a painful one. Giving Ariel’s shoulders one last squeeze, the witch started to prepare for the grand magical spell she was about to perform. With a snap of her fingers, she activated her custom-made cauldron, a mixture of smoke and bubbles emanating from its surface. Peering at Ariel through the pink haze, Ursula’s expression suddenly turned serious.

“You may have heard some…rather sordid stories about me. I am here to tell you that none of them are true.”

She let these words hang in the air between them, the only sounds that could be heard in the silence was the hissing and bubbling erupting from the cauldron. Ariel took this opportunity to confront the sea-witch directly with her misgivings.

“According to my father and all those loyal to my family, you were seeking to overthrow him because you weren’t satisfied enough with his offer that you can run your witchcraft business however you pleased as long as you did not interfere in royal affairs. Apparently you think you can rule better than he can. Is that true?”

“ My only crime, Ursula said, throwing and mixing various ingredients into the cauldron. “was that I was the only person with close relations to your dear dad who was not afraid to speak my mind and tell him when he does something wrong. You see…..I know you love him dearly but your daddy is an egotistical control freak; I am sure you would agree with me on this?” Ariel’s response was to roll her eyes and turn her face away slightly, the stormy confrontation with her father still fresh on her mind. Smirking, Ursula continued:

“As it turned out I was blessed with the privilege of interacting with the common merfolk who sought my services. Dozens and dozens of them would come to me, with such wretched tales of woe you could not even imagine!” Ursula bit back a sneer. But the one complaint they all shared in common was how unhappy they were living under your father’s rule. That it was not just that he would throw endless lavish parties for his friends while they struggled daily to get by. Naturally this was all very positive for my business, I am not a free therapist you know, and eventually he started to notice. So I may have offered some criticisms here and there over how he should prioritise the well-being of the merfolk instead of looking to feed his ego all the time, and I naively thought he would take my advice as me being helpful. But to overthrow him? Absolutely not!.” At those last words, Ursula had grabbed a bottle full of some gooey business from a nearby shelf and flung it into the cauldron with a little too much force, resulting in a mini explosion of violent red and yellow sparks. “Your father couldn’t stand the fact that I was more popular with the public than he was, so he and his loyal goons conspired to turn them against me and ruined my reputation for good! He put me through hell!” It took her a few moments to realise that she was breathing heavily and her eyes were wild with suppressed rage, and Ariel was staring at her with shock.

“I…..I had no idea..”

 Ursula quickly composed herself and laughed reassuringly: “Oh why would you, you are the baby of the family. Am I correct in assuming you just heard what I said for the first time?”

“Yes.”

 “Thought so. Now I admit that I am rather ambitious, but not SO ambitious that I would even think about overthrowing anyone, no matter how terrible they are. But enough about Daddy dearest and his dull desires. We are here to fullfill your desires my dear. You need not fear suffering punishment for his sins.” Here Ursula motioned to Ariel to swim near the cauldron, beckoning her with one crimson nailed finger. She dropped her voice to just barely above a whisper.

“Come closer, child.”

The two of them were now leaning forwards over the cauldron, facing each other on opposite sides. The bubbling substance was now emitting a yellowish orange glow and it felt really warm and pleasant on Ariel’s skin. To Ursula, Ariel with her hair floating like a fiery halo, large blue-grey eyes and and her full lips parted slightly appeared to be like a creature more otherworldly than a mermaid, as if she were goddess from a legendary myth. The light emanating from the cauldron only served to further enhance her beauty which seemed unfairly impossible. Her face was only a few inches away from hers…..what should she give to just kiss those luscious lips…..but alas….focus! For now Ursula had to contend with keeping Ariel in as close to her physical proximity as possible. 

“What I am about to tell you is very important. I am making you a potion that will give you a human form for three days. Three. No more, no less. If you decide to stay as a human indefinitely, you must find your prince, get him to fall in love in you and seal that love with a kiss.”

“And if I fail?”

“Then you turn back into a mermaid and……Ursula leans back biting her lower lip. “You are mine.”

“What???”

“Oh don’t look so alarmed girl, this is quite a generous arrangement that I am offering you. When I say you become mine I mean that you pay your debt to me by visiting me on an agreed number of days and offering whatever services I ask of you. Sort of an employed muse of some sort.”

It was during this moment that Ariel happened to notice the miserable-looking polyps hidden in the furthest corner of the room.

“What are those supposed to be?”

“Oh those are mostly spies sent from the royal palace to expose my hideout. I had to teach them a lesson. Pay no attention to them!” Ursula waved at them dismissively. To her relief, Ariel seemed satisfied enough with her answer and did not ask further questions. 

“So about the deal?….”

Ariel signalled to the sea-witch that she wanted to think it over and closed her eyes, her head bent over the cauldron, her hands gripping its opening. Outwardly she appeared calm, serene but inside she was bursting with adrenaline and conflicting emotions. Ariel was still very furious with her father for barging into her private grotto and destroying the “human” collection she had worked so hard to build, and finding a way to escape the ocean by going to his biggest nemesis for help seemed like the perfect way to get back at him. He had another thing coming if he thought she was going to swim back to him right on time for dinner and give him the satisfaction of thinking that he managed to shatter her human-world dreams into pieces. Oh how she will make him sorry that he ever lashed out at her like that, and for what? For saving a human being from drowning underwater instead of letting him die like he would have. Recalling the horrible cruel words Triton used to describe humans in general made it easier for Ariel to believe Ursula’s side of the story, her body language and facial expressions alone read as genuine. Speaking of the sea-witch, Ariel found herself getting drawn towards the older woman. Her charisma and charm was incredibly infectious, her flirtatious bordering on erotic behaviour also did not go unnoticed by the mermaid and she happened to have a magical spell for her that will give her at least a once in a lifetime opportunity to experience true happiness. It was all very exciting. Almost too good to be true. And yet…Ariel still sensed that there was something off about her. That underneath the warm, heavy comfortable aura that was currently enveloping her, she was in dangerous and threatening waters. Nevertheless she was being offered a choice to finally take charge of her own destiny and she had to make a decision now. There was no going back. After all she had to admit the deal Ursula was offering to her was quite fair. Being in servitude to the sea-witch in case she failed the challenge of achieving her permanent human forum did not sound that bad. Ariel was startled awake by a slippery tentacle encircling her waist and she felt a hand brush her hair away from her face and a sensual voice whisper in her ear.

“So what will it be child?” 

Ariel turned to see Ursula looking down at her with a tender expression on her face. She could not help but feel a little smitten.

“If I am to remain human forever….like you said….I will never see my family again.”

“That’s right.” Ursula replied with a dramatic flair. “but you will finally be happy. If your father really loved and cared about you he would want that for you. Wouldn’t he?” Here she shoots a sharp, side-ways glance at Ariel.

“ I guess.”

“Oh I almost forgot. We haven’t discussed the subject of payment.”

Ariel clapped her hands over her face with sudden dismay.

“Oh no I didn’t bring anything with me. If I had known-”

“No need to fret dear. I am quite flexible when it comes to payment methods.” Ursula stroked Ariel’s cheek, letting her fingers trace downwards towards her throat. Her facial expression suddenly turned carnal.

“You can repay me with…your voice.”

“My voice??? But if I gave away my voice how will I communicate with Eric? With other humans?”

“You’re a smart girl, I’m sure you will find a way to make your feelings known. Take it from a woman who knows. Men whether they are on sea or land are rather simple creatures. A lady who talks to much confuses them, enrages them even. In fact they prefer that she does not talk at all. So she must rely on her looks and her body to get her man; and you my dear are blessed in that department!” Here Ursula made a playful attempt at grabbing Ariel’s seashell bra which elicited an embarrassed giggle from the mermaid.

Suddenly the cauldron started to erupt, signalling that the potion was nearing completion. Ursula reached inside it to pull out a a golden shimmering piece of parchment, flinging it open to Ariel. She handed her a fish-bone for a pen.

“All you have to do is sign. Make your choice.”

Ariel hesitated but only for a moment. Whatever consequences occurred as a result of her actions today, she will face them when the time came. She was sick and tired of denying her dreams and desires out of fear of punishment from her father. Whatever it cost she was going to experience the world of the humans above. To finally meet Eric properly.

“I’ll do it.”

 With a quick cursory glance at the parchment’s contents Ariel signed her name at the bottom. The contract disappeared into a puff of smoke by a flicker of Ursula’s hand who now appeared to be in a state of manic joy.

What happened afterwards seemed to be all a blur in Ariel’s mind. Smoke and lightening everywhere. The room filled with an electric blue light, then sickly green. Ursula shouting at her from the other side to sing something, anything. She does. Two long, ghost-like claws travelling down her throat and feeling her vocal chords go numb. Suddenly a small volcanic force covers her entire tail and she is being propelled upwards towards the surface in a burst of speed. While all of this was happening maniacal laughter was ringing in her ears.

The sea witch let herself go into a state of euphoric mirth as she watched her spell do its work and Ariel spinning to the top out of her sight. Today has turned out to be the best day of her life. The first phase of her plan went flawlessly; she knew that she made the right decision in trusting her intuition and seeing it through without hesitation. Once she was in a state of calm and was sure enough time had passed for Ariel to have reached the surface, she turned to Flotsam and Jetsam who floated to her side.

“Go after her boys, make sure she never receives that true love’s kiss.”

Sneering the eels dashed out of her lair leaving Ursula alone. She caught her reflection in her mirror and indulged in her vanity, her hands travelling across her breasts down to the area where her stomach and tentacles met. She may not be the young sprightly thing that she used to be, but she had curves in all the right places and the power to seduce anyone who crossed her path. Including Ariel. She recalled the few moments she made physical contact with the mermaid. A little touch here, a little embrace there…she swore she did not imagine this…but she was sure Ariel understood what she was doing. Not once did she utter a word of protest or show any revulsion towards her advances much to her delight. Still Ursula hoped that she did not intimidate her with her less than subtle gestures. Once Triton’s precious daughter was finally hers, she intended to be very very gentle with her; that insipid human prince Ariel latched on to was nothing compared to the lover the sea witch was capable of being. There was no chance that the mermaid and human could fall in love in three days hence why she dictated so in the contract. One way or another she was going to make Ariel love her. All she had to do now was wait.

Next chapter: Part 2 Post-Kiss The Girl 

SPLASH! The little rowing boat Ariel and Eric were riding tipped over, catching them both by surprise. Flotsam and Jetsam emerged out of the water, checking to see that the couple failed in their attempt to secure their true love’s kiss. Confirming their success, they snickered and beamed their vision back to their mistress; who was watching everything through her crystal ball several feet below the ocean.

“That was so close…..TOO close!” 

Ursula sat in her lair fuming a toxic mixture of panic and rage. Pity the fool who was unlucky to approach the sea witch in her current state. Had the eels not acted right on time, her plan would have completely fallen apart. This was not supposed to happen this soon! How did that wretched mermaid manage to seduce her boy toy in only two days? Were human couples really able to get intimate that quickly? Even though Ursula realised deep down that it was irrational for her to feel this way, she viewed Ariel’s almost kiss with Eric as a betrayal. No, not just a betrayal, a cruel rejection. Apparently the deal she had offered wasn’t good enough for the ungrateful little brat. The first few hours after the deal was struck were nerve-racking. How she waited on tenterhooks for something….or nothing to happen….that would signal to her that there was still time. The first night passed she breathed a sigh of relief. She recalled their meeting the previous two nights….Ariel’s face inches away from hers….her torso pressed against her own…the witch grimaced with longing. That palatable chemistry between them was no magic trickery, it was real. She was sure of it. And Ursula had managed to convince herself that Ariel felt the same way about her, at least a little. Just the thought of the mermaid giving away her heart to that bland human fop was enough to make her blood boil. How dare she? Ursula watched Ariel huddle close to Eric as they walked out of the beach soaking wet. She had to think fast. A malevolent smile slowly formed on her face as she suddenly thought of an idea. Oh you’re not getting away from me that easily princess. A demented chuckle caught in her throat as she rushed towards her potion cabinet, grabbing the items that she needed and tossing them into her cauldron. As the mixture formed, the sea witch stroked the sea-shell pendant hanging from her neck. Ariel may have gotten within a hair’s reach of securing her permanent human form but she was missing her most important asset: her voice. It was very clever foresight on Ursula’s part that she never specified what she will do with her vocals regardless of the deal’s outcome, which gave her the freedom to use them as she pleased. A blinding orange beam of light shot out of the cauldron and the sea witch swam into it. Ariel belonged solely to her and nobody, not even Triton had the power to stop her from getting her way. Now she was at war with both of them. As she felt her octopus form transform and the light of the spell permeating every nerve and muscle in her body, she let out a demonic laugh that could only mean that her already fragile sanity was slipping at a dangerous rate. 

 Chapter 3 (?) Post-Sham Wedding

 The third day is almost over; dusk is fast approaching. Ariel had gotten her voice back but had missed the deadline to permanently become human and has reverted back to her mermaid form. Ursula had grabbed her off Eric’s ship and was currently dragging her down to the bottom of the ocean.

“It’s no use struggling.” she said in a mocking tone to Ariel who was desperately trying to free her arm from the witch’s steely grasp. 

“You cheated!” Ariel shouted angrily.

“I did no such thing, child. Since I am the original negotiator of our little deal, I have the authority to intervene and subvert any situations that might threaten to break it. It is all in the contract. You should know, since you read it in my presence.”

“That isn’t fair!”

“Life isn’t fair princess. Better get used to it.”

Somehow or other, Ariel managed to stop in her tracks, causing Ursula to also pause right next to her. They had managed to reach the sea floor by this point.

“That incident with the boat….that was your doing wasn’t it?”

The sea-witch flashed a taunting smile. “I might have had some…..indirect influence in that….OUCH STOP THAT!!!”

Ariel had let out a scream of rage and started pummelling Ursula with her free arm as well as trying to kick her with her tail. It did not take Ursula long however to defend herself and stop Ariel’s attacks by grabbing both of her arms and pinning her down.

“Why can’t you see that I did this for your own good? Those humans you are so enamoured with….they are a mediocre, primitive, ignorant lot. Do not think for one second they would not destroy you if they discovered what you really are. You will never belong with them. And that includes your precious prince. That boy has nothing to offer you.”

“You’re wrong. Eric is in love with me. I can feel it.”

“BAH!!! You foolish girl. He is not in love with you, only with the idea of you as I demonstrated when I used your voice to trap him just now. Tell me dear, if he really is in love with you, why hasn’t he come to your rescue?”

Ariel turned her gaze upwards towards the ocean’s surface, where she could see the faint reflection of the moon rising against the violet-hued sky. The bottom of the wedding ship hovered like a giant bird in mid-air casting shadows on the sea-bed. Even from where they were floating, Ariel could sense that there was chaos above the deck due to the surreal event that had just occurred. Humans had just seen an actual mermaid and a half woman half octopus with their own eyes for the first time. Things will never be the same from this point on.

“He will come for me.”

Ursula rolled her eyes in frustration. “You know…..even though you broke my heart pretty badly these past few days, I am willing to forgive you for your transgressions.”

“What are you even talking about?” Ariel asked, incredulously.

“I must admit I had my eye on you for quite some time. And I say that you and I have more in common than just ideological disagreement with your father. We could make a powerful partnership together.”

 Ursula picked Ariel up from the floor, albeit holding her hands and tail tight with her tentacles so she wouldn’t start physically attacking her again.

“I am being honest when I say I have no real quarrel with you. In fact the only reason I involved myself in your little family drama is so I can get close to you. Why throw your mortality away for those inferior creatures up there when you can become the greatest, most splendid mermaid this kingdom has ever known, with my assistance? I can show you wonders and knowledge any human with his vast riches could only dream of possessing.”

Ursula pulled Ariel closer to her, wrapping her arms around her waist. “You might not know it, she said lustfully. “but you are an especially bright woman, as well as beautiful. It would give me great pleasure if you actually considered my offer. Forget your father, forget the prince, start a new life with me. What do you say?“

Alternate ending 1

Ariel turned her head once more towards the ocean's surface. The evening dusk had completely turned to night so the wedding ship was just a barely visible outline. She could no longer hear the shouts and cries from the humans aboard; it became eerily quiet. In her desperation, Ariel waited, hoping that Eric would somehow release her from her predicament. But he never came. Why would he? She remembered the last time she looked at his face as he saw her mermaid form. His reaction was strange, was it shock? Definitely. Confusion, disappointment, disgust? He did not seem able to reach down and comfort her before Ursula grabbed her from him and threw her overboard. He probably thought that she had deceived him these past three days but what choice did she have? If she had tried to communicate the truth to him, he would have thought she was crazy and laughed at her. Minutes passed. Nothing. When it dawned on her that her waiting for Eric was futile, she let out a heavy sigh and her head dropped. Her journey to the human world was wonderful and she will never forget it, but it was over now. She had metaphorically sold her soul to get what she wanted and now she must pay the price. At least in the midst of the commotion on the ship, she had gotten her voice back, albeit accidentally. As Ariel slowly accepted her fate, Ursula wrapped one tentacle around her shoulders, nestling her closer. “I will make it worth your while.” she said in a velvety whisper before planting a soft kiss on Ariel’s forehead. This time, the mermaid did not flinch, or protest.

Alternate Ending 2 coming soon :)

[greenlight]

Top five songs off each album and top five artists or groups 🥳

Top 5 songs off each album:

Debut: iomwiwy, mary’s song, cold as you, picture to burn, should’ve said no

Fearless: forever & always (piano version), fearless, ybwm, tell me why, ciwtr

Speak Now: enchanted, sparks fly, last kiss, dear john, mine

Red: treacherous, state of grace, all too well, holy ground, ikywt, 22 (? idk this is hard I stan agfkdjsh)

1989: yail, wonderland, new romantics, style, ootw

reputation: dwoht, idsb, dress, gorgeous, nyd

Lover: lover, cruel summer, cornelia st, ithk, daylight (? I still go back and forth on #5 between like 4 songs lol)

Top 5 artists/groups (I’m going to do top 5 besides Taylor):

ben rector, mumford and sons, all time low, bleachers, ingrid michaelson

Send me ...

[penguinluvr87]

My Taylor Swift Story

Today I purchased my tickets for the Reputation tour, and it started me to look back and remember why I’m a Swiftie. This is my @taylorswift story.

I was a fan of country music for the longest time. At the time when Tay released her first singles, of course I liked them. She was a similar age as me, and while I wasn’t buying all of her albums, her songs fit my life at the time. Songs like Teardrops I felt were written just for me because I had been in teenage love with a guy named Andrew but he confessed he was gay and it would never work between us. I wasn’t a musician but he was indeed the reason for my teardrops. Tim McGraw was that dreamy heart feeling that a song like Strawberry Wine brings.

When Fearless dropped, there was nothing I didn’t like. And the relationship I was in made many of her songs “ours” including Love Story, Our Song, and -later- Mine. Mine perfectly described the story of the relationship I was in. We started at the water. He asked me to be his girlfriend by the river. It just was us. And everything was perfect. It was everything love and romance stories imagined. Except sometimes in life, ideologies and beliefs are stronger than love. And I was left heartbroken over what I felt like was nothing, and what boiled down to (what I felt was) minor differences of beliefs.

Flashforward to 2010 when Speak Now was released. It was the album of my life for about a year. I bought it right after that heartbreak. I was shattered but it was her music that helped me heal. I would drive down the road with The Story of Us and Back to December blaring, screaming lyrics with tears steaming down my face. Last Kiss was my testimony. I was Haunted by the thought of him. The powers that be were Mean... the list goes on. It helped me heal.

The summer of 2011 happened and there was a crush I was Enchanted to meet and I sang that song for ages alongside Sparks Fly and an oldie but goodie, YBWM. It was magical and all my friends knew. Everyone but him, and the awkward triangle that was formed when it was all going smooth, but she got him alone and ‘took him faster than you could say sabotage.’ She unknowingly had that song sung about her.

Speak Now was the soundtrack to my life for over a year, so I bought 3 tickets (1 for me and 2 for my 13 year old cousins who I was singing Innocent for. I even planned an amazing scavenger hunt using Swift lyrics to direct them to the front door, the stairs, etc. but I digress.) to the closest touring event to my small WV town and headed to Pittsburgh to see her. It was still the best non-Christian concert I’ve ever seen. It spoke to me so clearly. And all the songs that I had been cathartically singing was brought to life. It is still one of my best memories.

Red was paralleled with my life story for awhile when I played a back and forth ‘more than friends-less than lovers’ relationship with the ex that broke my heart. It was Treacherous. I went back and forth with The Last Time and Almost Do. But the song that to this day can get me in tears as I imagine every bit of it happening in my life as well, is All Too Well. Our favorite things were autumnal motorcycle rides through the mountains we call home. And the “autumn leaves falling like pieces into place” was exactly where we were. That whole song sums up so much raw emotion and imagery for me. It would honestly take pages on end to sum it up. And yet Taylor did it in a 5 minute song that has been on repeat hundreds of times in my car. It is my go to anytime I need to release any sort of feeling. Anytime he sneaks back into my mind again, that song is there. When I feel nostalgic for the past. When I need to remember there was good and bad to everything ‘All too well’ was and is my catharsis.

I met my now husband weeks before Shake it Off was released. I knew he was a keeper when he supported me in my Swift excitement and encouraged my addiction. 1989 came and went. It was good, but it was a change. Not my favorite. It wasn’t something I related with nor felt within the core of my being. But Taylor was branching out and exploring and reaching an audience that wasn’t me, and I respected that in her as an artist. Maybe our life experience finally diverged, or maybe she was just testing the waters with what she could do. Regardless, I was proud of her and I celebrated in her work and still loved the stories she told with her artistry.

Now with Reputation I still love her, and am excited I’m going to see her a second time. I look forward to her show with my love who still supports me and I’m glad to see a bit of the old Taylor in New Years Day. My love for Taylor and her song style has long been sealed. I will forever be proud to be called a Swiftie.

@taylorswiftexpriences

[pjstafford]

#DDThread. Reblog in honor of todays #tbt theme

It All Depends on What Star You’re Standing on...Blog on the Movie “New Year’s Day.” (Part Five of a series on David Duchovny’s HOHW Seattle Book Discussion and Concert. pjstafford: I know.  What is a blog on the movie “New Year’s Day” doing in a series about David Duchovny’s HOHW Seattle visit?  In the pre concert QA I asked a question about the song “Stars” and if it was influenced by Henry Jaglom’s monologue at the end of “New Year’s Day”.  To keep from digressing about “New Year’s Day” in an already long first blog about the fan girl experience, I decided to end the series with a discussion on “New Year’s Day.”  Yes it is a stretch, but the movie deserves a separate blog and asking the question and David’s reaction is part of the Seattle experience for me.  To recap on asking the question.  I had the first and last question.  My first question was about the song “Lately Its Always December” and why it was the least played song off the album in concerts.  I like to think that the fact that this song was played three times in subsequent nights to end the tour was influenced by me asking that question.  I love that so many people have referred to hearing that song in concert during the last three nights as “magical”.  It truly is a beautiful song.  I hope to hear it live someday.  My last question was on “Stars” which Brad and David said they were also not doing that night.  David said something about that they were killing me by not doing my favorite songs.  This allowed the heart eyes forever me to gush in an over the top fan girl way. I heard myself actually say the words  "I would love anything you do" which got an eye roll from David.  I then said I recently watched “New Year’s Day” which got a “wow” and a face from David.  I then said that in the soliloquy at the end the main character talks about the light from dying stars.  He then ask me if I was accusing him of plagiarism.  You see why it is such an experience for me?  How many times do you meet a celebrity you have heart eyes for and manage to distinguish yourself so admirably in one conversation?  David,always polite and accustomed to conversations with crazed fan girls, said he believed he knew about stars before filming the movie, asked me if it was Henry in the last scene and then thanked me for reminding him it was in the movie. So here goes a very Duchovnycentric blog about “New Year’s Day.“   “New Year’s Day” is a 1989 movie directed, written and starred in by Henry Jaglom.  It is David Duchovny’s first named part in a movie. (He was previously in a movie as a party guest.)  He likely got the part because he was close friends with the female lead Maggie Wheeler (best known for her guest star role on “Friends”).  The film is largely unscripted and has to me a Woody Allen feel about it except that I like it more than most Woody Allen films. The premise is that a middle aged man is set to sublet an apartment in New York beginning New Year’s Day, but the three young women in the apartment are not moving out until the following day.  He becomes an observer in the drama and comedy which surrounds these women’s lives; especially that of Lucy played by Wheeler.  David Duchovny has a small, but pivotal role as William or Billy, Lucy’s boyfriend.  As Jaglom says to Billy in a discussion, Billy seems to be the manifestation of the dysfunction in the household.  In fact, it is because of Billy that the life of these three women are changing.  Lucy is moving to California to get away from Billy because she just cannot seem to break up with him and stay in New York City.  Billy says he loves her but cannot seem to keep from making out with multiple women in her very own apartment during a one day span.  One of the roommates goes into a downward spiral and finally admits that the she is in love with Lucy (pretty racy, I think, for 1989).  The other woman commits enthusiastically to becoming pregnant by some close to genetically acceptable man as quickly as possible.  Henry Jaglom is facing the reality that being alone at the age of 45 or 46, after having failed at love, has a different feel than looking for love at 25 or 26. The entire movie takes place in the apartment on one day. The only “action” is the party that occurs on New Year’s Day.  There is a “pseudo” suicide attempt that you quickly realize is not a suicide attempt.  The first viewing of the movie might leave you wondering what you just watched and why.  The monologue at the end, however, brings the movie together.  It makes you aware that there is a poignancy about that day and in fact all days of our lives.  In my case, it forced me to watch it again with the monologue in the back of my mind.  I enjoyed the movie more the second time around.  In the monologue, Jaglom speaks about the stars whose light we see have died long ago and that ends with Past, Present or Future - it depends on which star we are standing on.  So Jaglom at 45 or 46 is looking back and seeing himself in Billy and realizes that light has died long ago.  Billy might not realize he is meeting his future self in Jaglom - although he might not make it to the wisdom of Jaglom- possibly it is Lucy’s father who is his future self.  There is a great scene with Lucy’s father in one room talking to a young woman, Billy in one room talking to a young woman and Lucy standing in between looking back and forth between them.  David will also be in the Henry Jaglom’s film “Venice, Venice” but I like New Year’s Day as the better of the two movies.  Even if this movie does not appeal to you, if you are a David Duchovny fan, it is well worth watching for his brief scenes.  By far the best scene in the film is the unscripted conversation between Jaglom and Billy.  In an interview, David said he was told by Jaglom that they were going to do a scene together and David asked what it was about.  Jaglom said something like never mind, just take my lead, action. Imagine being a young actor in your first movie with a director with Jaglom’s reputation and suddenly you are doing an unscripted scene with him.  It is worth watching to see the poise and ability of the young actor to hold his own in this situation.  It is absolutely worth watching to see how quickly he was able to express in words the motivation for his character’s actions.  It is in this unscripted scene that Billy discusses the light and darkness within himself.  He states that the person he is is very dark.  Women only sees the light and don’t see the dark so he feels like he is punishing them for not seeing the real him.  He shows his mother only the darkness because she can see the brooding as profundity.  Without this scene you would simply think that Billy is an ass.  However, in a few short sentences of improvised discussion, David Duchovny distills the character’s flaws and motivations  exceptionally well.  It is amazing.  He, also, talks about poetry seduction and that is a concept, especially in relationship to Duchovny, that causes this fan girl to smile.   Now I know what all the fan girls are thinking.  Wait a minute, “New Year’s Day”, isn’t that the movie… and she hasn’t mentioned the scene…  Yes, there is the scene where Lucy kicks Billy out of the apartment naked into the snow.  A very novice David Duchovny was unaware that just because a scene calls for him to be thrown out naked did not in fact mean that he had to be naked for the filming.  So he did the scene naked.  He lets it all hang out.  The movie is edited, but you certainly see enough of the very young, too lean, David Duchovny.  My favorite part is the way his ass, which always appears to be a plump part of his body no matter how lean he is,  bounces off the wall when Maggie Wheeler pushes him against it.  If you are a true fan girl, you have found the uncensored version of this footage.  No judgement from me if you have the uncensored version as a GIF saved on your tablet.  What could possibly be wrong about a young and fully nude David Duchovny bobbing around on your tablet anytime you want to watch it?  Nothing, I say, nothing.   It is like a Michelangelo’s David, in fact, it is…oh, I’m sorry, I got carried away as if someone was judging me for having the uncensored version as a GIF saved on my tablet - assuming I do which of course I don’t.  Anyway…My point is, fan girls, do not think because you have the uncensored footage that you have the best part of the movie.  At least watch the dialogue between Jaglom and David. As a David fan enjoy that we have this early scene between him and this director, unscripted, and  see how his mind worked before there was a Mulder or even a Jake or Denise. There is no doubt of his magnetism in this movie- of his potential for stardom.  Additionally the lightness and darkness theme has followed Duchovny through-out his life since this movie.  I recommend next New Years Day sitting aside a few hours to  watch the whole movie.  It is not that long of a movie, but there are parts you are going to want to watch again.  It is a comedy with some dramatic moments and Wheeler is extraordinary in those movements.  She is a star burning bright and in twenty years the light from the stars that have died long ago will still be burning.  Past, present or future - its all depends on what star you’re standing on.  

[dmenace20-blog]

A Tall Mocha. By: Dennis Saunders

“I’ll have a tall mocha please.”

And just like that my sugar laden coffee drink was being prepared by a young barista with several hours worth of tattoos draped down her arms.

Why is it this cold in December?

I was supposed to meet Justin here 17 minutes ago, and the anxiety that he backed out from seeing me was setting in… hard. My stomach was turning, my breathing becoming ragged, and my heart racing, anticipating spending the afternoon alone, hands cold and empty. The fear of being rejected before he even met me triggered a pang of self-loathing that started in my lower abdomen and slowly radiated through each extremity of my body, before being met with violent vibrations in my right pocket. A text.

“B there n 5 mins running late sry”

Wow he’s running late on the first date…

My mind was, however, put at ease and I could feel my pulse slow as I re-read (and silently corrected) his text. Eight simple words that had the power to torque my mood from nervous to, well, still nervous. Honestly, the thought of meeting him for the first time scared the hell out of me. My phone erupted into a fit of vibrations. Another text.

“Drivin an old blue truck almost there”

A blue truck? I don’t even like trucks. If we go anywhere after coffee, we’re taking my car.

I figured that I still had a minute to run to the bathroom and puke my guts out, or fix my hair – whichever came first.

What if I’m not what he is expecting? What if he doesn’t know how big I am? What if I’m not manly enough for him?

I exited the bathroom, leaving the mirror behind, and putting the unanswered anxieties in my back pocket to be confirmed or denied shortly. I sat down in a cold iron chair on the patio outside and started playing through possible scenarios in my head, but my wandering was interrupted by the sound of eight rusty cylinders grumbling across the lot. I heard the low growl of the engine shut off and the sound of a door in desperate need of WD-40 slam shut.

I pretended like I didn’t see him, like I was too enveloped in looking at what color Kylie Jenner’s hair was that week on Instagram to notice his cocky gait approach me. But I did notice. I noticed his dirty blond hair, and how the short locks moved gently as Winter sighed a sigh of relief across the parking lot. At five foot eight inches, he was shorter than my six foot frame, and his chest was broad and defined, despite being concealed inside the warm layers of his coat. His Levi’s were made of dark denim and fit closely to his thighs, slowly loosening slightly above his knees and continuing down to his ankles to his black Nikes. He continued to walk across the parking lot to where I was sitting on the patio, walking as if the pavement were under his command. I stood up to greet him.

“Hey I’m Justin,” he proudly introduced himself while shaking my hand.

His hands are warm. His bicep flexed under the tan fabric of his Carhartt jacket as he shook my hand.

I quickly noticed the subtle definition in his chest and responded.

“Nice to meet you in person, finally. Do you want to go inside for a drink?” I asked.

“Yeah sure, but I don’t know what to order,” he said staring back at me. His eyes were blue like my own, but different. They were much lighter than mine, and seemed to be searching my soul for something. What does he want from me?

“It’s ok, I’m fluent in Starbucks, and you really can’t go wrong with any drink here.”

“Ok,” and he led me into that closet small space which smelled of coffee, blueberry scones, and the sweat of young scholars furiously typing last minute essays.

There was already a line forming, and we would have to wait to order his drink. I still had half of my mocha left and couldn’t stomach another. This wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t late. We wouldn’t be waiting in line, then we would already—

“Why were you sitting outside?,” he asked with his head turning so his eyes could meet mine, “It’s really cold. I’m sure you’re ‘bout to freeze.” As he asked, He used his hand to brush my cheek, which was sporting a week of facial scruff that was soon to need attention. The silky ridges of his fingerprints drew across the coarse grain of my soon-to-be-beard and ended on the chapped surface of my cheekbone, pulling the blood from my feet to the surface of my cheeks.

Oh my god, he touched me. He really just touched me. What do I do? I settled for a smile and responded to his question, “Ah-um, I um… I  don’t like how busy it is in here, so I waited for you on the patio.” My face was red from his contact, and he smirked as if he knew I was putty in his hands.

“Oh ok,” he answered, his gaze and half-smile drifting back to the menu, which must have looked like a foreign language to him. The line was moving forward at a rate much faster than I originally anticipated, and the only thing between him and a cup of coffee was the woman ahead of us. I grew silent and examined all that I could of him from the corner of my eye without turning directly to him and gawking. His posture was relaxed, his shoulders slightly concave, and he continuously shifted his weight from foot to foot. Was he as nervous as me?

“Ok I still don’t know what to order.” I pondered his statement and offered some advice.

“Well since it is December, you could definitely take advantage of the seasonal drinks, like an eggnog latte, pumpkin spice latte, praline latte-“

“I want the praline latte,” he interjected.

“Alrighty, praline it is.”

The woman ahead of us finally finished placing her elaborate order and the same barista with tattoos from earlier took Justin’s order.

“That’ll be $4.73”

Beep. The machine approved my card in the amount of time it took Justin to dig around in his pockets looking for his wallet.

“You didn’t have to pay for me,” his face looking genuinely disappointed about the fact that I paid for his coffee.

“I really don’t mind,” and I reminded him, “you’re the one who had to drive 45 minutes to get here. I only had a 15 minute drive, so this is fair.”

“If you say so,” his lips turning back into a smile as he gestured me back outside to the patio, coffee in hand.

We sat next to each other on a bench facing the parking lot, both holding our drinks, both looking straight ahead, both silent. The only sounds filling the void of non-existent conversation were the passing cars, the echo of people laughing on the other side of the glass, and the bell mounted on top of the coffee shop’s entrance door.

“Soooo…,” he dragged out, trying to decide how to finish his sentence, “what kind of music do you like?”

“Hmmmmm… Lately I’ve been obsessed with Imagine Dragons, but I’m always a sucker for Taylor Swift.”

“No way! I love Taylor Swift,” his face lit up and we turned to face each other to continue talking.

We talked for almost an hour about the evolution of Swift’s music from her first album in 2006, to her newest album which was released just a few weeks before, titled “1989”. We discussed our families, the good and the bad, our hometowns, our interests, and my plans for school since I was set to graduate in June before heading off to WCU. While explaining why I was so excited to start a new life at Western, he snaked his arm down to gently grab my hand. I tried to keep my thoughts and speech coherent as his slender fingers intertwined with mine before our palms rested against the other. Woah, are his hands always this warm? I continued droning on about how exiting and difficult being in a collegiate level marching band with a nationally applauded reputation was going to be, and he continued to hold my hand and smile.

I asked him, “What about you? What do you want to study?”

His grip became more tense. Did I strike a nerve?

His face wrinkled up, tensed, and he responded, “I didn’t go to college after graduating two years ago. It was too expensive so it wasn’t an option,” he paused to take a deep breath, “So, I started working, and I just keep on keeping on hoping that one day I’ll find a decent career.”

I’ve been here for almost two hours now. Mom is going to wonder why, “having lunch with Diana,” is taking so long.

“As long as you don’t stop reaching for more, you’ll do great,” I responded, and the tension in his brows melted away, his mouth curling back into a handsome smile. I could feel the buzz of his phone sandwiched between our touching thighs. Justin withdrew his leg to check his phone, allowing the cold dry air to fill the gap between us. The cold air permeated through my denim and found the damp spot of sweat created by his thigh on mine, and it felt like drinking ice water after chewing peppermint gum. Responding to a text, he let go of my hand, and the bitter air found a new home on my sweaty palms too.

After a few minutes of hearing the tapping of his jagged, chewed nails against the oily glass of his phone screen, he said, “I have to go.”

           “Okay,” I mumbled, “can I walk you to your truck?”

           “Of course” he smiled.

           He stood up, readjusting his pants which fell slightly below his waist line from the prolonged sitting. I followed suit, repositioned my coat, and ran my fingers through my hair one final time.

           “Alright, lets go,” he started, “trucks this way.”

           As if I didn’t see where he parked

           The distance between the patio and his truck was no more than 150 feet, and I silently wished that he’d parked further away. Just a few more minutes.

           Within the minute, we arrived at the driver’s side door of his truck. He reached inside to start the engine since it was cold from sitting for so long. This is it. This is where he tells me we should see other people and he would rather be my friend. Justin will never want to see-

           “That was fun. Can we do this again-”

           Did I hear him wrong? He wants to do this again? I inhale.

           “Only if you want to, of course” his eyes darting back and forth from the ground to my eyes.

He is nervous.

           Before I could respond, he stepped closer to me, leaving inches between our chests, our faces, our lips. I could smell the remnants of coffee on his breath, and see the prickly hairs that framed his jaws and mouth. He leaned in even closer, causing me hold my breath and try not to pass out, but I wouldn’t dare back away. All noise ceased to exist and I could only hear my heart pounding in my ears, and slamming on the walls of my ribcage. First, his left hand met the right side of my neck, while my earring toyed with the sleeve of his coat. He pulled my face down, closing the last few inches of space between our faces, and he grabbed my left hip with his right hand. Our lips met setting my body on fire. He kissed me over and over, pulling me into him and gently biting my bottom lip. It was pure sensory overload. My chest felt like it was going to implode, and in that moment, the tension, the anxieties, the questions, the fear, the unknown, was all put to rest. I could finally breathe. After what felt like hours, he pulled away and the cold replaced the space that our interlocked bodies once occupied. He smiled, but it wasn’t cocky or all-knowing; it was just a smile. I beamed back, face red, cheeks chapped, and hands shaking, but warm.

           “I’ll take that as a yes,” he said with a quick wink.

           “That is definitely a yes,” I returned.

[dailybiblelessons]

Ash Wednesday

Hebrew Scripture Lesson from The Twelve Prophets: Joel 2:1-2, 12-17

(The alternate reading, Isaiah 58:1-12, is below)

Blow the trumpet in Zion;  sound the alarm on my holy mountain! Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble,  for the day of the Lord is coming, it is near— a day of darkness and gloom,  a day of clouds and thick darkness! Like blackness spread upon the mountains  a great and powerful army comes; their like has never been from of old,  nor will be again after them  in ages to come.¹

Yet even now, says the Lord,  return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;  rend your hearts and not your clothing. Return to the Lord, your God,  for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love,  and relents from punishing. Who knows whether he will not turn and relent,  and leave a blessing behind him, a grain offering and a drink offering  for the Lord, your God?

Blow the trumpet in Zion;  sanctify a fast; call a solemn assembly;  gather the people. Sanctify the congregation;  assemble the aged; gather the children,  even infants at the breast. Let the bridegroom leave his room,  and the bride her canopy.

Between the vestibule and the altar  let the priests, the ministers of the Lord, weep. Let them say, “Spare your people, O Lord,  and do not make your heritage a mockery,  a byword among the nations. Why should it be said among the peoples,  ‘where is their God?’”

¹This verse is reflected in two passages about The Desolating Sacrilege, Matthew 24:15-27 and Mark 13:14-23.

Hebrew Scripture Lesson from The Latter Prophets: Isaiah 58:1-12

(The alternate reading, Joel 2:1-2, 12-17, is above)

Shout out, do not hold back!  Lift up your voice like a trumpet! Announce to my people their rebellion,  to the house of Jacob their sins. Yet day after day they seek me  and delight to know my ways, as if they were a nation that practiced righteousness  and did not forsake the ordinance of their God; they ask of me righteous judgments,  they delight to draw near to God. “Why do we fast, but you do not see?  Why humble ourselves, but you do not notice?” Look, you serve your own interest on your fast day,  and oppress all your workers. Look, you fast only to quarrel and to fight  and to strike with a wicked fist. Such fasting as you do today  will not make your voice heard on high. Is such the fast that I choose,  a day to humble oneself? Is it to bow down the head like a bulrush,  and to lie in sackcloth and ashes? Will you call this a fast,  a day acceptable to the Lord?

Is not this the fast that I choose:  to loose the bonds of injustice,  to undo the thongs of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free,  and to break every yoke?¹ Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,  and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover them,  and not to hide yourself from your own kin? Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,  and your healing shall spring up quickly; your vindicator shall go before you,  the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.  Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;  you shall cry for help, and he will say, Here I am.

If you remove the yoke from among you,  the pointing of the finger, the speaking of evil, if you offer your food to the hungry  and satisfy the needs of the afflicted, then your light shall rise in the darkness  and your gloom be like the noonday. The Lord will guide you continually,  and satisfy your needs in parched places,  and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden,  like a spring of water,  whose waters never fail. Your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;  you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach,  the restorer of streets to live in.

¹This verse is quoted in Luke 4:18-19, a passage about the rejection of Jesus at Nazareth.

Psalm 51

Have mercy on me, O God,  according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy  blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,  and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,  and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you alone, have I sinned,  and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are justified in your sentence  and blameless when you pass judgment.¹ Indeed, I was born guilty,  a sinner when my mother conceived me.

You desire truth in the inward being;  therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;  wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness;  let the bones that you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins,  and blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,  and put a new and right spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence,  and do not take your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation,  and sustain in me a willing spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,  and sinners will return to you. Deliver me from bloodshed, O God,  O God of my salvation,  and my tongue will sing aloud of your deliverance.

O Lord, open my lips,  and my mouth will declare your praise. For you have no delight in sacrifice;  if I were to give a burnt offering, you would not be pleased. The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit;  a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;  rebuild the walls of Jerusalem, then you will delight in right sacrifices,  in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;  then bulls will be offered on your altar.

¹This verse is quoted in part in Romans 3:4, part of a passage about Jews and the law.

New Testament Epistle Lesson: 2 Corinthians 5:20b-6:10

We entreat you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

As we work together with him, we urge you also not to accept the grace of God in vain. For he says,

“At an acceptable time I have listened to you,  and on a day of salvation I have helped you.”¹

See, now is the acceptable time; see, now is the day of salvation! We are putting no obstacle in anyone's way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God we have commended ourselves in every way: through great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, holiness of spirit, genuine love, truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; in honor and dishonor, in ill repute and good repute. We are treated as imposters, and yet are true; as unknown, and yet are well known; as dying, and see—we are alive; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

¹Isaiah 49:8

New Testament Gospel Lesson: Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21

There is a parallel passage about storing treasures in heaven at Luke 12:33-34.

[{Matthew 5:1-2}When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain; and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. Then he began to speak, and taught them saying:]

“Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven.

“So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

“And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

“And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Years ABC Ash Wednesday

Selections are from Revised Common Lectionary Daily Readings copyright © 1995 by the Consultation on Common Texts. Unless otherwise indicated, Bible text is from New Revised Standard Version Bible (NRSV) copyright © 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Footnotes in the Hebrew Scriptures that show where the passage is used in the Christian Scriptures are based on information from the The Complete Jewish Bible (CJB) by David H. Stern, Copyright © 1998 and 2006 by David H. Stern, used by permission of Messianic Jewish Publishers, www.messianicjewish.net. All rights reserved worldwide. When text is taken from the CJB, the passage ends with (CJB) and this copyright notice applies. Footnotes in the Christian Scriptures that show where a passage from the Hebrew Scripture is used are from The New International Version Bible ® (NIV®), copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. When text is taken from the NIV, the passage ends with (NIV) and the foregoing copyright notice applies. Parallel passages are as indicated in the Modern English Version Bible, copyright © 2014 by Military Bible Association. Used by permission. All rights reserved. When text is taken from the MEV, the passage ends with (MEV) and the foregoing copyright notice applies. Image Credit: Ash Wednesday by Michael Gilbertson using Photoshop 30 January 2016