#i get sent 2 them n they tell me the bookings are done through the previous number

[insufferablemod]

helathcare system plz...

[msgexymunson]

Forbidden Fruit

Description: The newest object of your affections happens to be Eddie; your father's closest friend!

A/N: this is just smut personified and I ain't even sorry. Enjoy it with caution, hells saving a mighty fine warm spot for you ;). 

Warnings: age gap, Eddie's in his forties, reader implied 20s. Voyeurism, fingering, p in v unprotected sex (wrap the thingy, trust me I'm old) 

5k words

Masterlist Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Delicate fingers are slipping under the waistband of your sleep shorts. You stroke at your soft skin, running in teasing patterns. Your body begins to react to your secret touches, downy hairs starting to stand on end as your skin prickles with sensation. Then your hand drifts lower, lower, until it meets your pubic hair. Massaging your breast with your other hand you try to relax and empty your mind, just focus on the feeling. Not that it works. All you see when you close your eyes is Eddie. 

This is wrong. So fucking wrong. He was at least 20 years your senior. Hell, he was one of your father's closest friends. It may as well be forbidden. He probably thinks of you more like a daughter than a lover. 

You couldn't help it though. Recently he was just looking so damn fine. You're not sure if it was just him getting better with age, or you growing up and appreciating the man in front of you. Either way, woof. 

Your fingers find your clit as you think back to earlier today; the events of which hadn't been much help in quenching your mounting feelings. It had been a lovely day, the sun was beating down and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Eddie and your father had teamed up to do some of the yard work. Eddie was always on hand to help with any manual labour, or to fix things. He was really very good with those hands. 

Well, it was a beautiful day, so sunbathing seemed perfectly acceptable behaviour, and not an excuse to be in the yard at all. Nuh uh. You'd headed outside in your skimpy red bikini, book in hand, and laid on a lounger keeping one eye on Eddie. 

God, he'd looked particularly good today. His hair was grasped in a messy bun with a shock of grey and white visible through it. His stubble looked a few days old, peppering his chin and sharp jaw. Those eyes of his sparkled, a deep chocolate brown you wanted to dive into. Jeans clung to his muscular thighs, only wearing an old wife beater on top, showing off his tattoos and chiselled arms. There was a brief moment when he'd lifted up his vest to use it to wipe the sweat from his brow. Abs had gleamed in the midday sun, flexing and taunting you on purpose, or at least it had felt that way. 

When your father had gone inside to grab them both a beer, Eddie had sauntered over to you and crouched right by your lounger. You had done everything you could to keep your face neutral, even though your head was screaming and flinging its metaphorical hands in the air. 

"Hey sweetheart." 

The gravel in his voice sent shivers down your spine. 

"Hey Mr Munson." You responded, trying to keep your eyes on your book. 

"How many times I gotta tell ya? Call me Eddie." 

You glanced over and saw a slow grin creeping across his face, as he eyed you up and down. Is he checking me out? 

Tearing his eyes away, he spoke again. 

"So, where's the little boyfriend today?" 

"What? Oh, him. We broke up. He was… selfish" you reminded yourself of all those disappointing encounters, flicking through your mind like a magazine of the mundane.

His grin widened at that. 

"Oh, that's such a shame." 

He sounded so sincere, but that smile of his was certainly telling a different story. You found yourself looking at the way his eyes crinkled when he grinned. Probably thought he wasn't good enough for me, just like father said. 

It was like he'd read your mind. 

"He wasn't good enough for you anyway." 

"You think?" 

He'd leaned into you, as if telling a secret. You could smell him, lingering sweat, aftershave and cigarettes. Drawn to him, you'd sat up and moved a little closer. His words were a whisper in your ear, his hot breath on your neck making your heart beat just a little too fast.  

"What you need is a real man." 

Mouth falling open, you snapped your head to face him. A quick wink and he was back on his feet, smiling at your father who had just returned from the kitchen. He had walked off without a glance back. 

You press your clit harder at the memory of his words, your other hand snaking its way into your top to tease at your hardened nipple. A real man. 

Was he talking about himself? Or had he just been teasing you for your taste in boys? Either way, his words had made you wet, your thighs clinging together in supplication. 

Fuck it. If he was on your mind you may as well lean into it. Your thoughts wandered, making up scenarios in your head, thinking of those thick fingers replacing yours. Your speed on your clit doubles, thighs squeezing together. It still wasn't enough. There wasn't enough pressure. 

Pulling your hand away in a huff, your eyes land on a cushion on your bed. Hmm, now that just might do. 

Clambering to your bare knees, you straddle it, positioning the seam to sit just where you needed it. 

Now, this was better. You could almost imagine him underneath you as you humped at his impressive length. You assume he had a huge cock. Well, he did in your fantasies anyway. Pulling your top off and away, you tease at your sensitive nipples, one hand keeping the cushion in place. 

So close, you were so close. The warm feeling was pooling in your belly, your clit humming with desire. Scrunching your eyes shut and whimpering, a particularly good rub had you moaning out "Eddie!" 

Unfortunately, you had failed to hear the approaching footsteps. 

"Yeah sweetheart?" 

Frozen, you can only watch in abject horror as your bedroom door swings open and the object of your fantasies is standing in the door frame. 

"Oh shit, I thought- did you just say my name?" He seems split between looking away and getting an eyeful. 

Grasping the bed sheet you quickly cover up your bare chest, cheeks burning scarlet. 

"Sorry." He adds, looking you up and down one last time, and finally swings the door shut. 

Well that's it, now I need to move to a different state. Fuck fuck fuck. 

"Hey, honey, come hear a sec!" Your mother's voice, ringing up the stairs. Trying to get the blood to diffuse from your cheeks with sheer force of will, you hastily scramble to put your top back on. 

"Coming!" You shout back. Well, you nearly had. So fucking close. 

Making your way downstairs past the bathroom you see your parents arm in arm, Eddie spread out on one of the bar stools in the kitchen. Practically feeling his grin from here, you focus on your parents. 

"We're going out to dinner hon. Mr Munson here, well he was going to have a look at the cable. I can't get the damn thing to work. Sure you don't mind Eddie? Ain't you got somewhere else to be?" Your father looks towards Eddie with his question. 

"Nope. Completely free. I'm sure I can fix it." 

"Thanks buddy, you're a lifesaver. Hon, can you look after him? Make sure to give Mr Munson anything he needs." 

Cheeks flaring again with heat, you mumble out your agreement. 

"Thanks sweetie!" Your mother adds, planting a peck on your cheek. Then, they leave. It's just you and Eddie. 

He begins to walk towards you. The walls suddenly seem too close, your skin itchy, hairs standing on end. He stops in front of you, too close for comfort. A rough hand reaches to you and you flinch. He quickly pulls it away. 

"Well, better fix the cable." He smiles at you, and turns on his heel to the TV room, leaving you staring at his retreating ass as he leaves. 

Maybe he's not going to mention it? 

The thought seems too good to be true. You turn to leave, back the way you came, but a strange force is pulling at your gut. Pretty soon you're standing in the door frame of the TV room, staring at Eddie's ass as he bends to look at the cable box.

Fuck, that perfect ass.

He must have changed from earlier. Maybe he'd had a shower? He certainly smelled good. Staring at his back you notice his hair looked damp. 

OK, so, ignore what happened. Eddie seemed to be. Act natural. Be a good host. 

"Eddie, do you want a beer?" 

He doesn't bother looking back, but you hear his deep voice say, "sure thing sweetheart." 

Making your way back to the kitchen, you grab a beer for him and one for yourself, to steady your nerves. 

Placing it on the coffee table, you let him know it's behind him, as you swig your own. 

"Could you come down here sweetheart? I need a hand." 

You fall to your knees beside him. 

"Show me your hands?" 

Confused, you hold your palms up. 

"Perfect, tiny hands. Here." And he grasps one, swallowing it up in his large palm. The skin on skin contact is a shock to your system. 

He pulls your arm gently. 

"There's a cable right there, can you reach that?" 

Sticking your tongue out of the corner of your mouth, you extend your arm, reaching into the gap he couldn't quite hit. 

"Got it." 

"That's it. Good girl." You suck in a sudden breath at his words, warmth simmering in your core. Eddie doesn't seem to notice. 

He's adjusting some other cable, moving the network box to a better position as you stare at the veins in his neck. 

"So, did you finish?" 

"Huh?" Confusion floods your face as you scrunch your eyes at his words. 

"Earlier, when I walked in. Did you finish?" 

Your mouth hangs open. He mentioned it so nonchalantly, not even gaining eye contact. You're so shocked that you answer him without thinking about it. 

"N-no." 

"Shame." 

What sort of alternative reality is this? 

"OK, can you feel my hand? Give me that cable." 

You pass it to him wordlessly, fingers brushing his ever so slightly. 

"There. Should be fine now. Try the remote."

Turning the TV on, it does indeed work. You switch it off as Eddie sits back on his heels. 

"It just wasn't wired correctly. Easy mistake to make. So, you need a hand?" 

"Huh?" You sound out doltishly as he swigs his beer. 

"Seemed like you could do with some help earlier is all." 

Swallowing hard at his words, you feel your thighs clench and your heart race. 

"Eddie, what are you saying, exactly?" Words spilling out a lot calmer than you felt. 

"All I'm saying is, you looked like you could use some help. I reckon I could help you out. A lot more than a cushion, anyway." He says, a slow smile spreading over his face making your knees want to melt.

You stare and stare, momentarily lost for words. 

"Come on sweetheart, there's a reason why you were moaning my name. We need to get whatever this is out of our system. " 

You will your legs to move, to flee. They don't. They have their own agenda it seems, taking a shaky step towards him, and another. He's still kneeling on the floor, a slight smirk pulling at his face as if he has all the time in the world. 

Your knees do buckle then, under the weight of his words, as you mirror his position. There's a slight gap between you, but you're closer than you think you ever have been. The air between you seems to hum with desire, an electric current buzzing back and forth. 

Reaching out with hesitant fingers, you finally close the distance, resting your hand softly on his knee. 

"I'm- I'm sorry that I, erm, said your name, it's so damn embarrassing-" 

"Don't be sorry," he responds, his giant hand coming to rest over yours sending your pulse into overdrive, "that was the hottest thing I've ever seen." 

"Really?" You can't help the disbelief dripping all over your tone. 

"You're kidding right? I've been fuckin' hard for the last hour, I'm sure it's not healthy." 

You giggle into your hand at his confession and move to look down, but his hand is on your jaw then, pulling your chin up. 

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, you know. We can just forget all this and I'll leave." 

His stare is firm and sincere, but there's an undercurrent of need behind those eyes, one that's making the pulse between your legs hammer out a tattoo on your insides. 

Before it even registers in your head, you're the one pushing toward him, drawn in by that stare. Your lips are crushing against his when you realise you had taken the leap and kissed him. Eddie's hand presses into the small of your back, pushing you bodily against him, the other snaking into your hair. Opening your mouth to deepen the kiss his tongue begins to slide against yours. Never had a kiss felt so good, so sordid. You wrap your arms around his middle to steady yourself as he explores your mouth greedily. 

A slam of a car door snaps you back to reality; pushing your body off him hurriedly you look around with wild eyes. 

"Hey, sweetheart, it's OK. It's not them, it's too early for that." 

You stop and listen, and realise he's right. 

"Sorry." 

"Hey, it's OK." He smiles, flooding your tummy with warmth. 

"You wanna go and get comfortable, sweets? We can, well, just this once."

You nod and stand up wordlessly, leading him to your bedroom. Your pace is slow and measured as you walk up the stairs, belying the running commentary in your head. 

Oh fuck, I can't believe this is happening. This is Mr Munson for fucks sake. Dad would absolutely freak. Oh fuck. 

As you're closing the door, he's kicking his shoes off and sitting up on your bed. His rough demeanour and chiselled physique look so out of place, juxtaposed by the sweet pink bedclothes. 

"Come here sweetheart, right here." He says, patting his lap. You move over to him, trying to work out exactly where he wants you. 

"Knees either side, come on baby, I know you know how to straddle." His smile is dipped in sin, biting his lower lip slightly and flashing his teeth. You take a shaky breath and mount him, your thin sleep shorts barely covering your expectant pussy. 

"Can you, um, take your jeans off?" You ask hesitantly, "I wanna feel you." 

"Whatever you want baby, I'm here to help." 

You sit awkwardly to one side as he wiggles his jeans off those perfect hips, giving you a teasing sliver of his lower abdomen to gawp at before he's gripping your hips forcefully and pushing your core down against his solid bulge. 

"Hmm, nearly perfect," he says, giving you an appraising look. 

"What's not right?" You feel your cheeks blush, waiting for him to point out some flaws you have. 

"Well, I'm sure when I walked in earlier with you in this position you were topless." 

An impossible amount of blood flushes your face, chest, neck. Eddie's thumbs trace calming circles into the flesh of your hips, catching the hem of your top and slipping just beneath. 

Lifting your top up hesitantly, you move your arms up and away, discarding the clothing on the floor of your room. 

Eddie's eyes are fixated on your nude breasts, letting out a slow breath. He holds your hips harder, fingers bruising into you. 

"There. Perfect. You are perfect sweetheart. Such a good girl for me." 

It's deeply pathetic, the noise that escapes your lips at his praise, but it serves to break the spell Eddie is under and forces him to look at your rosy cheeks and pouting lips. 

"Fuck, you like that sweetheart?" He asks, large hands clinging to your hips, starting to grind you back and forth. His breathing is laboured, as if he's trying to hold himself together.

"Yeah." You say back, voice small, hiding under his studious gaze. 

"Don't go all shy on me now baby. This good, yeah?" 

You nod, mewling at the sensation. He's rock hard, and just the feel of his solid dick rubbing back and forth, hitting your swollen clit with each pass has your head spinning. Just two layers, two layers of flimsy fabric lay between him and you. Between him entering you. 

"Talk to me sweetheart. What do you need?" 

His eyes are searching yours, so eager to make you happy. 

"Please, please play with my nipples." 

A rough hum rumbles from his throat, hands creeping up to your chest. 

"So polite. Whatever you need sweetheart." 

Taking over grinding over his member, you feel your skin thrumming, heat bubbling in your gut as his hands begin to trace over your curves. His thumbs graze the underside of your tits with confident movements. Expecting him to start pinching at your nipples, it takes you entirely by surprise when he leans forward and takes one in his mouth, sucking hard. 

Whimpering quietly, you grip his shoulders, willing yourself to be quiet. It's like Eddie can read your fucking mind. Unlatching from your nipple, he grabs your chin firmly between his thumb and forefinger, forcing your eyes to meet his. 

"I told you. Don't be shy. It's just you and me here. I want to hear you. Every whimper, every fucking moan. I'm committing this to memory, so make it a good one." 

A watery grin unfurls over your face, eyes tearing up unexpectedly. 

"OK Eddie." 

"Good fucking girl." 

"Oh God-"

Before you're done moaning at his words, his lips are immersing your nipple again, wet and warm and rough; as he pinches the other with hardened skin fingertips. A thick tongue darts out, flicking back and forth over the hardened nub. 

"Oh Eddie, oh fuck!" Your moans are loud and unashamed, your hips frantically humping over his turgid cock, clit swollen, nearing on sore.

His breath diffuses over the sensitive skin of your breast. 

"See that's it baby, I know, I know. Keep going, use me." 

Chasing your release your movements become almost violent, hands grasping onto his wavy locks and tugging hard. He groans at that, almost a growl. Teeth scraping your aching nipple, he unlatches with a wet pop and instead bites into the joining spot between your neck and shoulder harder than anyone had done before. The act was bordering on feral. An animalistic gesture, sucking on your flesh as if he was sucking the orgasm out of you. 

It was working. The low simmering in your gut had bubbled over, threatening to pull you under into the deep depths of pleasure. You let it, screaming out his name as you lost breath, quickly losing yourself in the gaping depths of your release. 

Slowing your frantic rocking movements, you finally slow to a halt.

"Feel better sweetheart?" 

You hum, fingers tracing over the muscles of his toned arms. Your pussy hasn't gotten the message however, clenching around nothing. Your walls are pulsing, wanting to clench onto something, anything. 

"Yeah I'm good." 

"Don't lie to me." 

Gasping at his hard words, you look into his eyes. 

"If you're done I'll leave-" 

"No!" You shout, gripping him harshly,

fingernails embedding into his skin. This can't be over, not yet.

"See?" He laughs, almost mocking you, "if you need more, say so. I want to help you. What do you need?"

"I-" fuck why is this so difficult? "I need, I need something inside me." 

"See? Was that so hard? You want my fingers baby? I'll make you come, as many times as you need." 

You nod enthusiastically, slipping off his lap. He turns you to the side suddenly so your legs are draped over his. Firm, smooth strokes rub up, up, up your thighs making you quiver. 

"Take these shorts off. I need to see that pretty pussy of yours." 

Wiggling out of them, they land on the floor in a heap. 

"Fuck. Spread your legs a little." 

It isn't in you not to comply. Your knees fall open, entirely exposed. 

"Well, look at you. Fucking perfect." A rough hand slots between your legs, two fingers rubbing the length of your pussy. 

Leaning back on your hands, your back arches into his touch, hips moving upwards to meet each stroke. 

"You really want this? You want me to fuck you with my fingers?" His movements are tantalising and slow. Your body begs for more, more. 

Nodding at him, you soon see it's not enough. 

"Use your words sweetheart." Fingers whisper across forbidden skin, circling around but never touching your clit. 

"Oh God please, please I need you, please fill me up!" All modesty forgotten.

"Fuck, yeah that's it, hmm" you feel his fingers swipe your wet lips, about to go deeper. Leaning forward, he angles his head towards your cunt, and spits, hard.

Holy fucking fuck. 

That act had you clenching all over again, rocking into nothing. 

"Oh she likes that! Dirty girl." 

He smiles his approval and gathers your combined wetness, two fingers diving deep inside you. It's aggressive and rough and entirely what you've been craving. 

"This what you wanted baby? My fingers filling you up? Fucking into your cunt?" 

His words are filthy, switching something inside your head you weren't aware of until just now.

"Yeah, fuck please, stretch me out, I fucking need you baby, please please please!" 

Your tiny hands are gripping onto him, desperately seeking him, digging into skin and flesh. 

"Oh you are so hot. Keep begging, I like it." His salacious grin pours over his features, fingers working you roughly, nestling into a spot inside that had your toes curling. Your breathing is heavy and ragged, as his other hand slaps harshly against your thigh. 

"I said beg." 

His ministrations start to slow. 

"No, don't stop! Please, oh fuck please, I need to fucking come Eddie!" Your eyes seeking his with a desperate gleam, toying with your features. 

"Yeah, that's it sweetheart, fuck," and his hand lands a hard smack against the side of your ass making you shriek. 

"You're a dirty girl, aren't you?" His fingers continue, setting a brutal pace, each stroke reaching your g spot pathetically easily.

"Yeah, oh yes, for you I am." 

A thick tongue runs up the side of your neck, pushing his fingers harder, deeper. 

"Oh Eddie I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come, don't stop!" 

"Not stopping, not even if you paid me. Come for me sweetheart." 

Your hips betray you, rubbing against his fingers as hard as they can, desperately seeking your second release. 

They don't have long to look. Suddenly it bursts around you, popping in your head like a firecracker of feeling, pulsing out of you in waves. Your fingers wind into his hair once again as your orgasm floods your system, hands almost frightened of being swept away. 

You knew he was good with his hands but fuck, his words were something else. 

"Oh my God that was incredible." You stutter out, legs still trembling. 

"I aim to please. You good now baby?" His fingers whispering over your arm, catching your nerves, making quivers run over and over you. 

If I'm good, he's gonna leave, and that will be it. Fuck, just don't want it to be over. 

"No. I need you to fuck me. Just this once. Please. I- I need you to cum inside me."

"Shit sweetheart, you want my fuckin' cock? How could I refuse such a sweet good girl." 

Laying you down against your many pillows, he stands, ridding himself of his shirt and pants. 

Oh fuck, just look at his cock. 

It's swollen, throbbing against his slickened pubic hair, wetted by your own juices. Licking your lips impulsively, you spread your legs wide, wanting to guide his hips between yours.

"Fuck that's a pretty dick. So fucking big." 

He looks at you, quirking an eyebrow. 

Oh fuck you just said that out loud. 

"Yeah? You want it? You want me?" 

He's smiling, stroking at his throbbing length, making an emotion akin to jealousness bloom in your chest. 

"I need you Eddie." 

He climbs between your thighs again, letting another glob of spit fly from those perfect lips of his. 

"Oh!" You moan eagerly, writhing beneath him.

"You are perfect, aren't you? Fucking filthy and ready for me." The head of his swollen member nudges your soft opening. 

"I'm on birth control, please just fill me up." 

"Oh fuck you're gonna make me bust if you keep on like that." The words are admonishing, but he sounds impressed. 

His weight dips onto the mattress between your legs, making it sink dramatically. You grab his relatively narrow hips, your slender fingers forcing his body between yours. You need him inside you, now.

The fat, leaking head of his cock rubs against your intumescent lips. 

"Fuck me Eddie, I need you, please fuck me!" You blabber, fingers flexing hard against his hard muscles. 

The mushroom head of his turgid cock pushes against your sodden opening. It breaches you then, forcing its way into your soaking lips. 

Pushing harder and harder into your deepest depths, you whimper, walls quivering around his fat length. 

"Eddie, oh God Eddie!" Your moans are unrestrained and throaty, him rubbing against the spot that makes you wobble inside. 

"You wanna come again? So fucking greedy sweetheart." You expect those words to have bite to them, but he's grinning, forehead nearly touching yours as he hikes your legs around his middle. 

You hump at him recklessly, hips thrusting against his waist as hard as you can. 

 "Oh my fucking God, fuck!!" 

You release hard, wetness squirting over Eddie's imposing length as you moan hard and loud. 

"Hey honey, we're home!" 

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. 

Your eyes flick wildly to Eddie. It doesn't help that he seems amused, chuckling a silent laugh into your skin. 

"I've, I've gone to bed, see you in the morning!" You cry out desperately, hoping to heaven, or hell, that they listen. 

"Eddie fix the cable?" You hear your mom call out up the stairway. 

"Yeah he's, he's really good with his hands!" You shout back, Eddie's body shaking with silent laughter over you, the arms caging your head trembling with barely contained amusement. 

"Great news, night honey!" 

You grip Eddie's shoulders as hard as you can as you listen for the minute changes in air. There it is, mother and father both going to bed. 

"Fuck that was close." You huff, releasing your titanesque grip on his shoulders. 

"But I'm not done sweetheart." 

He thrusts hard and deep against you, his impressive member rubbing against that sweet spot yet again.

"Eddie, you can't, fuck-"

"Oh I can. You just need to shut up." He grins quietly, holding your body close to his. 

"Oh Eddie, oh-" 

"Shhh, fuck sweetheart, shut the fuck up." He whispers urgently into the skin of your neck. Your mouth forms a perfect 'o', wiggling against him ardently. 

He releases his cum into you with a hard, shuddering thrust, throbbing and throbbing out of him. It pumps inside you, pushing you to the edge of coming yet again.

Eddie knows. 

Grinning wickedly, he latches his teeth to your nipple again and sucks hard. Moments later you feel your release explode from your core, dampening your bed sheets in the process. 

Thrumming against him, sweaty skin against sweaty skin, you manage to coax your breathing to a normal level. 

"I hope that's everything you wanted sweetheart, 'cause it aint happening again." 

Before you can protest, Eddie is leaving the warmth between your thighs and aiming for the window, so no one suspects what just happened between you two. A few sure movements and he disappears, however reluctantly, into the night. Leaving you huffing, and panting, and wanting. 

@eddiemunsons-missingnipple @eddiethefreakkmunson @munson-blurbs @roanniom @eddiemunsonfuxks @eddiesprincess86 @corrodedhawkins @eddiethefreakkmunson @indouloureux @icallhimjoey

[smittenbyvillains]

Headmasters Favorite (2)

WARNINGS: age gap, headmaster x student, angst, nsfw themes, maybe spanking or any form of punishment

Today was going to be the start of having your classes with him. You knew he was talented at both and had his own little area to do work. That was where you were supposed to meet him but not also be late. At the moment you were very much late. You were running through the halls with your books. You planned on just leaving them in the room at this point. It was a nice quiet place to study and no doubt he wanted you to be focusing on it. You knew to knock first. You stopped at the door and knocked.

He used magic to open the door pull you in and shut the door quickly.

"You are late." He said as he looked at you a bit annoyed at this and was at the desk in the middle of the room.

"I- I didn't mean to Headmaster."

"Well, don't be from now on, we have something important to discuss before we go into the lessons." He said sternly and, motioned for you to sit at the other desk facing his. You sat down in the chair.

"What is it, headmaster?" You asked.

"I was thinking... instead of the normal things professors seem to do to help or reward their students, we are going to do something different." He said with a slight smirk at the end. It sent you shivers down your back. "You are of age. Hence, this is fine, just don't tell anyone what happens. Are we clear?" He asked you, looking at you, waiting for an answer. You nodded. "Verbal." He said.

"Yes, headmaster." You were curious as to what he meant. He slowly got up from the chair and went over to your desk, walked behind your chair, and stood behind you. He leaned over to your ear.

"In here, you address me as sir. How to do one day or on a test or quiz will determine if you get a reward or punishment along with extra time here. Understood Y/N?" He said lowly and moved his hands to grip your chair arms. The way he sounded was husky and, had no room to mess around. You bit your lip.

"Yes, sir." You spoke, flustered by the scene happening right now. You were not complaining either.

"Good girl, now turn to page 396." He said, referring to the defense textbook. He went about talking and going over everything with extra pieces within it. You were interested. The way he spoke was as if, he was more passionate about it than potions. You took the notes as he went about teaching. By the time the first three-quarters of the class, he was done talking and having you do a writing assignment, summarizing what he spoke about and what you remembered. You turned it in once you were done. He looked over it with nothing for a hint of how he felt about your work. He just gave it back.

"Sir, how did I do?" You asked him, worried that you disappointed him. He looked at you smirking.

"Good enough to get a reward, you need to stay after your potions class, which is at the end of the day. We need to work on your skills summarizing and what to focus on."

You went through the rest of the day and did pretty well in potions. He had you make a potion while he watched. He did not want his room to be messed up by a silly failure. You were waiting for what he was going to do. He was having you stand in the middle of the room.

"sir-"

"Do not speak unless told to." He interrupted quickly with a stern gaze. He went back behind you, pushing you to where you were against your desk, and fell into a bent-over position. "Now, we will be going over everything from the lessons I taught you today. A wrong answer results in one spank. You started out strong with it but you said a single wrong answer, and he swiftly brought his hand down against your butt, gasping you to gasp. "Try again." He said sternly. You finally got it right.

This went on for a few more questions and a few more spanks. By the end of it, you were sore on your bottom, and your face was beet red. "Now go sit on the couch and study. I will tell you when to stop." He grumbled. He went to his desk while you went to the couch and winced as you sat down, but knew it was best to start studying.

Soon Snape told you to stop and had you come over, where he lifted your skirt enough to rub the cream. It felt better.

"Thank you, sir." You whispered.

"you are welcome." He said and got up from his desk, led you to the door, and let you out of the room into the great hall for dinner. You couldn't help to feel something for him. The way he had used his dominance over you. You knew you were in deep problem but couldn't care.

[ginsengkitten]

༺ Beautiful Dangerous ༻

༺☆༻

Chapter Eleven

Written in Plain Sight

A/N:

Tysm for your patience with this one. May is a difficult month for me for personal reasons. I’m still writing and I’m so excited for you guys see where this heads. I hope you guys enjoy <3

Dear Slash,

Im sorry I didn't write you sooner. Things have been a little crazy since I got home. Well, not home actually. My parents have turned me in to this special all girls Christian school that specializes in "troubled young women". Apparently they can legally do that even though I've just turned 18! I never agreed to it, they just left me here. In the middle of nowhere- with these weird nuns. They haven't told me how often mail is sent out so I'm not sure how often I'll write, but I promise I will.

I'm sorry how I left things. I didn't know they were coming to take me home. I tried to say goodbye but they gave me no chance. Please forgive me. This summer was the best time of my whole life. Because I met you.

I know letters are a little prehistoric these days, but I've no access to a phone here. Again, I promise to write often. I'll call you as soon as I'm out.

Love, Foxey.

-

Dear Slash,

I'm not sure if you are receiving my letters. If you are and just don't want to speak to me, I understand that. I know mail can take a while... anyways. I figured writing to you helps me pass the time here. This place is awful. It's been 2 weeks of hell. I was forced to detox from everything. It's been so hard. I hardly sleep at night. But when I do, I am so happy because I dream of you. I also daydream a lot. It helps me get through the day. The days are long and boring. There's not really a curriculum here. Even though they call it a school. The nuns are mean. They took away all my clothing and I have to wear a white dress everyday and every night. It's cold and uncomfortable. Each day consists of the same thing. They wake you up at 6 am every fucking morning. It's barely light out. Then you have to clean your room. If you can only eat breakfast if you pass morning room inspection. I've failed 5 times so far...

Anyways. Sorry. I don't mean to complain to you. I don't have anything exciting to write about. I hope you have having very exciting experiences in LA still. Please write me when you can... I want to know how you are!

Love, Foxey

-

Slash,

Today was horrible. Just horrible. I'm sorry to write you only my miseries, but it feels like that's all I have left lately. Turns out, if you don't comply with every single whim and precision- even making the wrong face, or the tone of your voice, the nuns will be violent with you. They carry rulers, books and at times, even their bare hands- are weapons. I can't exactly remember what I did first to step out of line, all I remember was sister Agatha (she's a total bitch) slapping me so hard across the face, the stinging lasted for hours. I cried a little but only in private. I don't think I want to let them see me cry. I don't want them to know they have that power!

I still wait for your reply. I hope you are well.

Love, Foxey.

-

Hi There,

It's been a while. Sorry for that. I don't have much different to say to you. Or much at all. I think I get your message from your silence. If it all meant nothing to you after all, then so be it. I think maybe I belong here anyways. It's best for everyone. I want to let you know it really hurts me to accept that you are done with me. With us. Just like that. But I respect your decision- even if it's shitty. Maybe that's all rockstars are is shitty. So there. You're shitty and I wish we never met. I hope you're happy.

Best of luck with everything. I love you.

Y/N.

-

And just like that. It was over. The silence from Slash over the past two months was only an added pain to the hell you already endured. For your own sanity, hope was crushing you and you had to give it up. Your parents had called once, but the nuns ensured you weren’t telling them the truth of what it was like there. As quickly as it all unraveled, you sank into your new reality. Pushing out thoughts of escape as the former attempts were futile and had only ended in harsher and harsher punishment .

It was colder now into early November. Other girls had come and gone periodically, none staying long enough for it to be worth harboring any sort of relationship. You spent your days in the day room, a dim, sulky living room type space in the center of the building. Empty tables with broken chess pieces and puzzles with missing pieces scattered. You took throne to an old green chair by the large window.

One person you had managed to form any sort of connection with was the oldest nun in the practice, Sister Graham. She seemed worn down and tired of it all, due to her age, and lack of violence and stern, she’d been demoted down to a secretarial duty. She’d find reasons to come and talk to you when she could. Small but meaningful conversations. The two of you formed a secret bond of hatred for this place. A mutual understanding that this was all that was left for both of you. She’d share bits of her life before she became a nun. She had been sent away at the age of 16 after running away from an arranged marriage to a man 20 years her senior at the time. You felt sad for her, sorry for her, confused as to why she remained here. You told her about your past, how you ended up there. You even opened up to her about Slash and the magical summer you had. She seemed to appreciate the glimmer that became of you when you spoke of it all. Like she understood what it meant to feel young and in love. What it felt like to feel misunderstood and suffocated by the normalcy of the world. She made you feel special amidst it all. And then, one day, she was gone. You waited all week for her to show.

You prodded at nuns all morning as to where she was, “did she die?” “Did she retire?” “Is she sick?” You skipped around. Each question was met with harsh and rude snaps of silence and threatening looks. The confusion and hurt flatlined you again. Back to nothingness. You shifted in bed, staring at the ceiling, images of Slash, summer, everything, bleeding through your mind like a movie. The anger of his silence, the hurt, the betrayal, all of it stung within you so badly. Allowing it to get to you, you angrily chuck your pillow to the other side of the room with a frustrated sob. Feathers bust out of the pillow, completely ruining it. You came to your senses quickly with regret and knelt over the pillow to pick up the discarded feathers. You hadn’t changed your pillow case this week, and now you’ve broken the pillow altogether. Great. It was sure you’d get punished for this in the morning. Your hand brushes against a piece of paper as you sift through the feathers. That’s odd- where did this come from? You pick it up and it appears to be a small folded note. You take a precautious look at your door before unfolding it.

“R. 308

Nov. 21. 8pm to west wing parking lot.”

What the hell? You don’t recall writing this down. This was clearly stuffed in your pillow case. When? Why? What does it mean? Did someone put this here? Your heart beat with confusion, apprehensive to feel any sort of excitement at fear of being disappointed again. It was late, and there was seldom to do with this new information except to sleep on it. So you did.

Surely enough, as you had predicted, the nuns took notice of your destroyed pillow and sentenced you to janitorial duties for the entire day. You scrubbed away at the hallway at the end of the wing. Dragging your bucket of dirty water like a gross companion. You grumbled to yourself as you mopped. Suddenly a sister enters the hallway from out of a room and almost slips on the fresh wet floor. She gives a stabbing glare.

“Well hurry it up and get it finished so you’re not such a hazard girl.” She snarks as she walks away. You want to bark back but you know better. The room she had left was left cracked. You stared at the door with curiosity before noticing the room number plaque before you .

“Room 308”.

Wait a minute. R308? Like the note? You take yet another precautious glance behind you to the empty hall to ensure no one would see you now sneak yourself into the room.

Surely there’s something of importance in here? It appeared to be some sort of administrative office. Piles of papers decorated the entire room. You strolled around carefully eying everything. This is a mail room, this is all mail? This is all patient mail, no? It is. How interesting? Why’s there so much in here? Your eyes scan and roll over a large stack prominently sticking out of a box on the desk. You recognize the stationary and realize it to be some of your own letters to slash. What the hell? You start shuffling through the box in a greater panic and confusion. These were all supposed to be sent out, sent to Slash! Were none of them ever mailed?! Your heart dropped to your stomach and your chest tightened.

You wanted to stay longer, to further examine and investigate this, but the reality was clear. No letters written had been sent to anyone. They lied. You hurriedly skimmed through the pile to see if any had come in from Slash but you only saw the ones you wrote. All of them opened too. They’ve just been reading them and keeping them….

Before you could sulk, you quietly exited the room to ensure no one saw you sneaking in there. Clearly you were not supposed to know this. Rage, Hurt, Confusion, coiled inside you once more. All this time? Out of all the emotions rushing through you at that moment, the scariest one was now hope. Hope again filtered into you. Maybe Slash had never ignored you. Maybe he just didn’t know where to write!

After returning to your room that evening, you re read the obscure note once more.

“Nov 21”

That’s tomorrow. Nov 21st is tomorrow. Someone wants me to go to the west parking lot at 8pm tomorrow. But who? And why?

[ourfatherwhoartinhell]

"In the night, I am real..." // [Part III]

Pairing | Alpha x reader

Word count | 1.4k

Warnings | Ghouls sent back to the Pit, ritual gone wrong, rite here rite now spoilers, canon divergence, f!reader - no y/n

Chapter Summary: You decide to see if the "silly book" you found is more than it seems. Heartbroken, you follow the ancient book's instructions to perform a ritual, hoping to bring Alpha back on your own. However things don't quite go according to plan.

[Prev]

The hellish scene you created last week went unacknowledged by Copia. When interrogated by Sister Imperator, he simply said, “One of the ghouls must’ve eaten some bad sushi or something, I don’t know.” It was your little secret, and life continued on as normal.

You were slowly becoming more yourself in the 2 weeks following the incident. Copia invited you to join band practice and give his (properly summoned) Ghouls some pointers. You found out that they weren’t so bad after all. A little wild, but they were perfectly his.

You made a point to talk with Dewdrop after learning about his element change. That must have been so painful, you felt guilty for not being there for him during the transition. To start making amends, you gave him some tips about how Alpha used to deal with flare-ups and dysregulation. You didn't know whether it would help, but it was your way of reaching out, and trying being of service to the band again.

It was getting close to midnight and practice had just finished for the day. Swiss and Phantom, the ghouls that had taken to you the most, offered for you to join them for a movie night in the den. You politely declined as you already had important plans for tonight.

You smiled and wished the last of the Siblings heading inside a good night, as you walked out to the familiar bench in the garden. It was the first time you allowed yourself to sit out here under the moonlight since your Ghoul disappeared 6 years ago.

You removed the black guitar from within its case and sat it on your lap.

“Please don’t laugh, I haven’t done this in a while.” You said to no one in particular.

You began to play an acoustic version of If You Have Ghosts. It was one of your favourites. When Terzo used to help you through anxiety attacks, he would sing it. You didn’t know why he spent so much time helping you, but it was like he was speaking to you through every word of it. Telling you that as long as you had Ghost, they are all you would ever need. You fell in love with it after that. However, after the events of last week, you were beginning to realize what that truly meant.

You plucked along, the crescent moon shining bright above you as you sang. 

“The moon,” you chuckled as you looked. “Up above… is a part of my thoughts, and a part of me is me. Forever is the wind…”

“In the night, I am real.”

You immediately stopped playing and froze.

No one else should be out here at this hour, definitely not a Ghoul. As far as you knew, they were all watching the movie. If you just stayed quiet, maybe they would go away. But the voice continued softly, this time directly behind you.

“In the night, I am real.” 

It couldn’t possibly… 

“I don’t remember teaching you that one?”

If a person could turn their head around any faster, they would probably break it at the speed you turned to look behind you. Your face expressing a confusing mixture of surprise, disbelief, and a flicker of hope.

“I knew I’d find you out here.” The voice said with a fanged smile.

You shot up and immediately engulfed the large Ghoul, sharing a close embrace that was much overdue. Not caring if your tears were beginning to soak through his shirt.

“I missed you so much.” You choked out between sobs, pulling back and sniffling as you looked up at your mate. “You are here, right? I’m not hallucinating?”

Alpha smiled softly as he held your face in his hands, pushing away the strands of hair glued down by your tears. You studied his face, fearing he was going to disappear again, gently running a hand over his cheek and smiling fondly at him.

“The embers in your eyes are still as bright.”

EPILOGUE

1 Year Later

Everyone was gathered in the communal hall, waiting for the newly promoted Frater Imperator to make some big speech. All was going well in the world of the Ministry. You couldn’t begin to imagine how to make the future any brighter than it was right now. 

Copia, or now known as Frater Imperator, appeared on stage to make his first official statement before the masses of his Ministry.

“Oh, hello. Thank you for coming,” he began. “I just wanted to let you all know of a recent change I made. I hope you like it. Apparently there was a policy we practiced that caused many of our brothers and sisters much sorrow.”

The conversations in the room fell to a hushed whisper as everyone eagerly awaited to hear what Copia had going on in that crazy mind of his.

“So!” He clapped his hands together. “I’m proud to announce, effective immediately, the practice of banishing ghouls will no longer be in effect. That means after their service is complete, ghouls will no longer be banished and replaced. They are the backbone of our congregation. They are our brothers and sisters,” he said, glancing at his ghouls huddled together beside the stage. 

“Our friends,” he nodded to Aether, who stood near the door. 

“And for some,” he glanced along the wall, finding Alpha holding you protectively in front of him. Both finally at peace. “They are family. The ghouls will always have a home here, for as long as they wish to stay.”

The cheers were relentless. Brothers and Sisters of the Ministry excitedly embracing their ghoulish friends and partners in various states of disbelief. The ghouls' burden of knowing one day they might suddenly disappear was abolished. No one will have to go through the pain of being forcibly separated, not anymore.

“But!” Copia chirped. “That is to say: if there are any ghouls that still wish to return, I will do the ritual myself. Alternatively, if there are any who need to be reunited, I will take a few cases into consideration. My first duty as head of this Ministry is to right some wrongs, and to do better than those that came before me,” he explained, looking out with a smile at his beaming audience. “So that’s what I plan to do.”

Until the night of the incident a year ago, Copia never really gave much thought to the spin-off effects of sending ghouls back to the pit. Actually, he thought they might be excited to go home once they were no longer needed.

Never did he consider that in the years they were on the surface, the ghouls would’ve made strong connections and relationships with those outside of the band. Relationships that would be painfully torn apart when they were gone. 

After you accidentally summoned a lesser demon trying to get Alpha back, Copia made sure the Book of Resurrection (which you learned was the correct title) was properly locked away in his chamber for everyone’s safety. It would only be pulled out for the next Papa to summon new ghouls, if he so chooses.

However, that was not before Copia made one last summoning.

Unlike Nihil and Sister Imperator, ghoul’s weren’t able to appear as apparitions to help him learn what had happened to you back then - since ghouls weren’t technically dead. So he went to the next best option: a ghoul who was there. 

Dewdrop.

Dew told Copia about how your presence used to annoy Alpha to no end. Until one day things changed and Alpha started to get extremely protective of you. Something about how you yelled at him once for picking on Omega. 

“She was shaking like a leaf, scared to death, but looked him dead in the eyes and defended Omega anyway. After that, everything kind of changed.” 

Copia learned you two were set to be officially mated 3 days before the ghouls disappeared. He also never considered the ghouls could have mates that weren’t, well… other ghouls.

He was determined to right some wrongs, and now he knew that started with you.

Copia managed to summon Alpha back from the pit the day before what would’ve been your anniversary. He wanted to give the older ghoul time to adjust to being back on the surface after so long. Meanwhile, Copia’s ghouls were right there with him, eager to help.

The next day, he informed you that there was no band practice since he wasn’t feeling his best. Which, in all fairness, he wasn’t. Summoning a ghoul like Alpha took a lot out of him.

Yet he still found the strength to watch your long awaited reunion from his window.

It was going to be the start of a new era. In more ways than one.

[milequaritchsslut]

Don’t forget my love

Based on the song Don’t Forget My Love by Diplo and Miguel

Part 2 here!

Notes📝:Humans can breathe Pandora oxygen somehow idk how but they just do. Reader is pretty young like still in their 20’s after the humans came back 🫣 I just like having the reader young!

Warnings⚠️: Mentions of death, Miles dying, Mentions of cheating, Heartbreak, Mentions of guns, Crying, Mentions of conceiving, Betrayal, (just a lot of sadness)

Background: Y/n and miles went their separate ways since y/n chose to fight for the enemy. Little did she know she’d ever see him again…

———————————————————————

All you thought about was him your husband Miles Quaritch after the last war. After the day was done and you had settled into bed just about to go to sleep there he was in plain sight. You couldn’t rid him out of your head the feeling of him being gone was just too much. You remember it as clear as day.

The last time you saw him you had met on the battlefield on opposing sides. You and Norm had been best friends since you had settled on pandora. He had notified you of the plans they had to side with the Na’vi you hated how the humans treated the people of pandora. It wasn’t right in your eyes. But you couldn’t just leave your husband the whole reason you were here was because of him. But you quickly rid him of your mind as you agreed to help break grace and the others out of jail.

You stood there with your clothes ripped in half from all the fighting you had done you had probably killed dozens of marines to just get to this moment. Gun in one hand the other hanging on your side as you made eye contact with him. Tears started filling up your eyes as you ran to him as he opened his arms. Sobbing in your husbands arms. You hated how things were going you loved him so much but he was an enemy from the other side. Letting go you looked up meeting his gaze with teary eyes.

“Miles you can still make this right and join us pls” Wiping tears from your eyes as you prayed inside he would listen.

his smile quickly dropped at the sound of your words. His duty was to his planet Earth. He hated fighting with you but he couldn’t betray his people. That was where his love for you ended you would never be more important than his loyalty to his home. The realization of this sent shivers down your spine watching his expressions change so fast causing anger to cloud your mind he didn’t have to say one thing to tell you his answer you could read him like a book. “Now I think we both know the answer to this princess” the sound of disappointment ringing through your ears as his words poured out.

Taking a deep breathe and standing back from him and collecting yourself trying to sound strong “I shouldn’t be conversing with an enemy should I then? That’s all you are to me miles just an enemy” Why were you lying when you both knew that wasn’t the truth. Maybe it was to make this departure easier or maybe to make it feel like this was the right thing to do. No it was none of those things it was simply to make him leave you couldn’t betray your cause no matter the reason. He came so close but not enough to make you a traitor. You had never told anyone about this encounter it was too emotional to talk about. Once the war was over you enjoyed this victory as you rejoiced with the Na’vi and the humans who stayed. But you couldn’t rid the feeling of heartbreak in the back of your mind. He was your husband you had shared so many moments to just forget about him like that. But you knew you’d never see that man again at least that was what you thought.

After the war ended and the humans went back to earth getting used to this new way of life was hard. You had decided to stick with Jake and Neytiri and the clan. You were welcomed with open arms since you had aided in the war. Your thoughts got in the way sometimes the thinking that they only led you in with them out of pity since everything you had known your whole life was gone so fast. You were always reassured by Jake and Neytiri. You and Neytiri had gotten close with your time on pandora you had worked with grace in the school and had created a strong bond with the young Na’vi. There was only about a 5 year gap between you two but it made no difference.

You felt almost like family with Jake and Neytiri. You were the one to help aid in every single one of Neytiris pregnancies. Even some of the younger Na’vi children called you “y/n sully” when talking about you. You found comfort in that this was a chance to turn over a new leaf and leave your life on earth in the past. You were eventually known as an add on to the sully family. You slept with them, ate with them, hunted with them. You were the one to help take care of the children when Jake and Neytiri were gone and you loved it. You never wanted any of your own but it was nice to take care of them. You watched them grow up right in front of you.

Though you had created an almost mother-son relationship with the young human boy named spider. You loved him like he was your own since he was Miles child. You hadn’t known Miles had cheated but you didn’t hold it against spider it wasn’t his fault. As he got older you started seeing miles in him more and more. You knew you shouldn’t like it but you did he reminded you of what a great man Miles really was before you both took the job on Pandora. You found yourself putting most of your attention on spider since he did need a mother figure and Neytiri wasn’t trying to apply for the role. You taught him almost everything you knew. It was hard but Jake helped you along the way. You were so grateful that the sully family treated spider as their own. Though you noticed how Neytiri acted towards the boy you ignored it because it didn’t matter as long as you were together.

But this happiness didn’t last long, only a decade after the war the humans came back and they weren’t about to back down. You remember having to hold a sobbing spider in your arms rocking him back and forth whispering reassuring words to him. He had only heard the horror stories about the humans that the other Na’vi had told. He was horrified the night the humans ships arrived. That night you had made a vow to never leave him behind in any sense. And you stood by that no matter where he went you were always behind him. Of course you let him roam around but never too far thr fear that the humans would take him from you and use him as ransom to find Jakes hideout scared the living shit out of you. You couldn’t loose anyone else in your life who was that important to you.

“Come on keep up mom!” The young boy yelled to excited to slow down for you. Jumping over a tree vine trying to keep up with the boy you yelled

“Your too fast for me spider!” You yelled focusing your attention on your destination. Today you had promised spider you would teach him how to hunt a sturmbeest. A large buffalo like creature the Na’vi ate with most meals. Breathing in the fresh air of the forest you looked around to realize you had reached their grazing area. “Spider come we have reached it!” As you gasped for air you had been running for almost 30 minutes straight. Leaning down to rest your hands on your knees you felt a pat on the back from the boy looking down at you. Coming up for air you looked at the boy giving a quick smile before taking his hand in yours and walking to find your prey.

“How many of these things have you killed mom?” Looking up at you as you looked around for your target.

“Hm about 5 I think!” Your eyes widening as you locked eyes on a young sturmbeest. Quickly looking down at your son and putting a finger in your mouth to be quiet he nodded as you both crouched down behind a fallen tree trunk.

Grabbing your bow and arrow out of your holster you quickly handed it to him. You made sure to be silent so the only thing you could hear was the breeze blowing the trees back and forth.

Making sure you kept your voice low you explained “Now bring the arrow up” lifting his arms up to find his stance to shoot.

“yes yes just like that sweetie” moving your hands to his chin lifting it up to focus on the beast. You quickly gave him a thumbs up to signal it was ok to shoot. Just as he let go of the arrow you watched as the animal quickly ran away. Standing up from your position you pushed his hand down to stop shooting. Waiting for silence you watched a group of toned na’vi with guns walked through the clearing where the animal was just standing. They were all army clothing with guns in their hands as they looked around. There was about 11 of them with an expectionally tall male na’vi leading them as they came closer. Jumping down you quickly pulled spider down with you, as you both moved back trying to not be in their line of sight. You watched as they conversed with one another as they searched the area.

You knew if you didn’t leave now you wouldn’t be able to leave. You stood up with spider on your side. You watched as the strange Na’vi caught onto your movements. Quickly running the opposite direction you could hear them calling you to stop.

“HEY GET BACK HERE!” One yelled as you ran with spider moving leaves out of your way.

Looking back to see how close the Na’vi group was you accidentally tripped causing your body to crash onto the hard earth. As you held yourself up you felt a thrashing pain in your ankle. You figured you had twisted it there was no way you were gonna make it out of there you thought.

“MOM!” Spider yelled running back to you

“NO LEAVE ME SPIDER GO!” Grunting trying to flip yourself over to see your enemy’s faces. “B-BUT MOM-“ He was quickly cut off by your harsh orders

“SPIDER LEAVE ME I WILL BE OK” You could handle this yourself even with a twisted ankle. Now sitting up you quickly turned around to watch the young boy dashing ahead.

Smiling to yourself you were just glad he was going to be safe and sound. You knew he would warn the others that the humans were tracking them. As you turned your head forward you found yourself being towered over by a tall Na’vi male. Looking over his body you saved a mental note of how muscular this one was in particular. He looked like he was made of full lean muscle. His army cargos fitting just right in his small hips, the curve of his waist going up to his sweaty pecs. Looking at his neck you watched as the sweat moved in droplets making his body glisten in the sun.

Moving up from his neck to his face it reminded you of someone but you couldn’t quite place it. He didn’t look like any of the Na’vi men you had ever seen. Maybe it was just deja vu of some sort you figured. You slowly watched his eyes widen and his lips part as he knelt down to your small human level.

Letting out a hiss at the man from the nerve he had to get so close to you. You watched as he examined your face and your body almost like you were an art piece at an art show. You couldn’t help but be confused from why he hadn’t put you in handcuffs yet or had not killed you. Slowly bringing his hand up to cup your face you quickly slapped the demons hand away. Was he crazy or just dumb you thought?

“Damn little lady you remind me of my wife!” He confessed flashing a welcoming smirk at you as you just sat there trying to put up a strong front though you were dying in pain.

That sentence sounded so familiar to you like something miles… And there he was the man who left on the battlefield so long ago.

“Miles?” You blurted out to be met with a shocked expression on the man’s face.

“Y/n?” He responded quickly standing up trying to figure out what was going on he thought you had surely died on the battlefield. A femble human like you would had never made it out alive but somehow that day you did.

“Oh hell nah” You were not about to go through this again, not today. Placing your hands beside you, you tried pushing yourself up with any strength that you had left. To only be pushed back down by one of the Na’vi soldiers behind you.

“You better settle down sweetheart” he said with only getting a hiss in response.

You watched as they all formed a circle in front of you trying to decide what to do with you. You saw this as an opportunity and quickly got up ignoring the shooting pains all across your body. Fighting through it you ran as far as you could dragging your ankle with you as the sounds of Miles and his group running came closer and closer till you felt a pair of arms pull you by your hair.

“FUCK OFF!” Holding the root of your hair to lower the pain you were pulled to the ground laying in between his legs.

“We both knew that wasn’t gonna work princess”

“Do not call me that”

“Don’t go all hard ass on me now I’m still your husband yk?”

“That marriage ended years ago”

That might’ve been true but the love never truly went away you couldn’t deny the spark you felt when you realized who he was, and neither did he. That build up in your stomach whenever you thought about him. The way your heart beat sped up when you got too close.

One of the soldiers who was missing all his hair turned to miles and started conversing but you couldn’t hear much. After a long silence he finally nodded his head looking back down at you.

“Your coming with us sweet cheeks”

Rolling your eyes in response. Holding out an arm to help you up and taking it out of pure desperation he quickly had you in his arms bridal style with your arms tight around his neck.

“I missed this y/n” whispering into your ear walking back to the helicopter.

“Shut up”

—���—————————————————————

[hwabang]

PLS MAKE A PART TWO FOR “when the first love returns” i genuinely loved it sm and cried a bit ngl… part two should be so fluffy and jake possibly proposing 🤔🤔

When the First Love Returns Pt. 2- Sim Jaeyun

Summary: Jake grovels after you almost took a break with him after his ex tried to break you guys up. He realizes just how afraid he is to lose you so moves up the date for his proposal plan

Genre: fluff fluff fluff

Warnings: fem!reader, established relationship, jake is so guilty omg, grovels a LOT, proposal. mention of reader not being Korean (?)

Author’s Note: the amount of people asking for a pt 2 to something i wasn't even confident posting in the first place made me so happy😭 hope this is what y'all wanted!

NOTICE: (the names used for side characters are fake names, with the exception of the enhypen members. the fake names don't represent any real life characters.)

(gif not mine!)

(moodboard is mine, pics off Pinterest)

Today was Minji's last day in Korea. Jake begged you to go to the airport with them but you really had a lot of work to get done, so you said goodbye to her in your apartment and sent her off with Jake.

On the way to the airport they didn't talk too much but they did have one last conversation before she went into the gate.

"Thank you for everything Jake," Minji started. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable the other day."

Jake sighed. "Minji.. you're a good friend and I don't want this to ruin our whole group. But please, don't think we can ever be anything more than friends.. we dated for a year in high school and that was that. I love Y/N, a lot."

Minji nodded. "Yeah yeah, it was wrong of me to try and win you back.. I understand that now. Cynthia yelled at me a lot yesterday."

Jake let out a hearty laugh. "Yeah, she's had Y/N's back this whole time.. thanks for being so understanding Minji. Again you're a good friend of mine; let's keep it that way."

"Agreed. You're proposing this December in Australia right?"

"Actually... I'm proposing next week."

Minji's eyes widened with excitement. "What, no way! What happened, why the sudden change?!"

Jake rubbed the back of his neck feeling embarrassed. "I.. haven't been the best to her recently.. actually the night you were at your grandma's.. she wanted us to take a break."

Minji gasped. "Jake.. I'm so sorry."

He shook his head. "It's okay. We talked it through, I begged her not to do this, and she agreed. So I've just been, I don't know, scared? That night really shocked me so much.. I don't think I can wait till December. I'm moving all the plans around to next week."

"Jake that'a awesome! You got the hotel and flight tickets and all?"

"Yeah yeah, everything was booked yesterday."

Just then the last announcement for Minji's flight was made. She gave one last goodbye to Jake and headed to the gate as he made his way back to his car.

Jake had never felt so guilty like he did the past two days. It was eating him up; the fact that he gave another woman more attention than he gave you; the woman that you were uncomfortable with him being around. Every time he thought about it he winced and thanked God that you didn't leave him.

You had forgiven him; Jake loved you and you never once doubted that. But he didn't care– he'd make it up to you in the best way possible.

After leaving the airport he went to the ENHYPEN dorm to tell the news about him moving up his proposal plans and assigning them their roles. He then went to the company to talk to them about his decision. They already knew you Jake was proposing in December and were fine with it, but now Jake had to tell them the slight change in plans so they could have the statement ready by next week.

Once all of that was taken care of Jake headed back to the apartment and started cleaning. It wasn't messy; how could it be? You were so good at taking care of the house, taking care of him, taking care of your relationship when he'd mess it up..

Jake sighed as he walked into the empty house. You were just at work, he knew it of course. But he couldn't imagine how distraught he'd be if every single day he came home to an empty house, knowing you would never return.

Jake started by cleaning up the guest room and guest bathroom Minji had used; putting new sheets, changing the trash, wiping down the furniture. He then went on to clean the rest of the bathrooms in the house, then tidying up the kitchen and master bedroom. Once those were taken care of he took a 10 minute break to order food, and continued on cleaning the dining room and living room.

You were exhausted, having a hard day at work yourself. You trudged up to the front door and fumbled with your keys before the door swung open revealing a very happy yet tired Jake.

"Hi baby, you're home!" he exclaimed.

You giggled and pecked his lips as you walked into the house. "Hi my love, how was your day today?" As soon as you walked further into the house you immediately realized it was sparkling; everything was sparkling. You turned to Jake in shock who was standing there expectantly. "Jake.. did you clean the house while I was gone?"

He eagerly nodded. "Did I do a good job? Actually you can't judge just from seeing this.. I cleaned the guest bedroom, our room, the bathrooms and kitchen too!"

Your eyes were still widened in shock and you slowly wrapped your arms around Jake's neck. "Baby, I appreciate it but why'd you do all of that? I would've come home and done it anyways."

He wrapped his arms around you. "It's not fair that you have to do all of it," Jake pouted. "I live here too, this is my house too. I should take on some of the household responsibilities."

"You do honey! You have your own chores and I have mine."

Jake shook his head. "I just take the trash out and pay the bills once a month Y/N. You clean and cook almost everyday.. I come home every single day and appreciate it but I don't think I say it enough so I'm sorry. I genuinely appreciate everything you do, and after doing what you do for a day, I'm fucking exhausted."

You laughed as you pulled him into a hug. "Aww, thank you Jake. Really, I appreciate this a lot."

"Of course baby.. by the way, is it too late for you to put in some vacation days for next week?"

You raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you plotting now Sim Jaeyun?"

"Nah nah nothing.. I was thinking you and I could spend a couple days in the Maldives?"

"Maldives!? Jake, are you serious!?" you squealed.

Jake smiled, relieved you were this happy. The Maldives was a dream destination for you; you had always talked about going there so why not get proposed to there?

"It's a day long flight," Jake explained. "We need two days for the flights, we'll spend 4 days there. What do you think?"

You squealed again and tightly hugged Jake, jumping into his arms. "Thank you thank you thank you!! You're the best boyfriend ever. When do we leave?"

"Friday."

You were so excited for the trip that Friday felt like it was in forever, but finally you were in the Maldives. The first night you guys slept almost immediately after getting there because you were so drained but the next day you guys were up bright and early, enjoying all that the Maldives have to offer.

Today was the last full day in the Maldives, and the two of you were enjoying some down time in your private hotel room pool. Jake glanced to check on you and saw you at the edge of the pool, furrowing your eyebrows while staring at your phone. He swam up to you and grabbed his beverage. "What's wrong baby?"

"My parents," you responded. "They're not responding! I know I have good service so I don't know why they're not answering."

Despite you not looking at Jake, he still looked away from you. He couldn't lie to you, and he knew that if he mad eye contact with you, he'd spoil everything about the proposal. "M-maybe they're just busy."

You shook your head as you tried dialing them again. "No.. it's like just past evening in my country right now, they're definitely home."

Jake knew he had to distract you before you somehow caught on. He just had to hide all of this from you for another couple hours; as tonight was the proposal.

From the minute he woke up this morning he felt like throwing up. Every single second he felt like regurgitating. You wouldn't say no right? Nah nah, you love him.. right?!

"Baby," he called out as he grabbed your phone gently from you. "It's okay, we'll check on your parents later. Maybe they tuned in early? Our parents aren't getting any younger you know."

You hummed. "Yeah yeah you're right... I'll call them first thing tomorrow morning."

Oh you definitely will.

Jake pulled you back into the middle of the pool and you guys spent more time in the pool until you felt your skin pruning. After you had come out of the shower you saw a couple of wrapped gifts laying on the bed. You looked to your boyfriend with a confused look and he just returned a smug smile.

"Open them," Jake commanded. "It's for our date tonight."

You headed to the bed and one by one opened the boxes. The first one had a beautiful pair of pencil heels covered in golden and silver sparkles. Next was a black leather handbag and the one after it had a diamond crystal heart necklace. The last box you opened had your jaw drop slack open. The dress in the box perfectly matched the shoes; it was pretty short in the front but the tulle in the back went all the way down to the floor and without wearing it, you could tell it would snatch your waist in such an alluring way. It was off the shoulder with a straight neckline and the short bit of sleeves there were drooped down to your elbows.

You caressed the sequins on the dress before turning to your boyfriend and jumping to hug him, not caring you were in just a robe. "Jake, I'm gonna cry! You're the best and this whole look is amazing! Thank you so so SO much!"

He rubbed your back as he held back a huge grin. "Anything for the love of my life." He kissed your forehead before letting you go. "Get dressed, I'm almost ready. We should head to the restaurant in an hour."

Jake had booked a reservation for the two of you at "The Cloud"; an Italian-Chinese sit down restaurant that had numerous 5-star reviews for not only the food but the fancy and romantic ambiance as well.

You two enjoyed your extremely romantic dinner; the food was tremendously good and you two just couldn't stop laughing and looking at each other with the utmost love you could hold in your eyes.

After the dinner Jake suggested a walk on the beach and you happily agreed, not wanting the night to end. You were walking hand in hand, you barefoot with your shoes in Jake's empty hands.

"Jake," you called out breaking the comforting silence.

"Yeah baby?"

You looked to him and kissed his cheek softly. "Thank you.. for everything. The last 4 days have felt so magical I just.. I can't even describe it. I really appreciate everything you've done for me, everything you've made me feel."

Jake's eyes softened as he looked at you, returning the kiss on the cheek. "Again, anything and everything for you baby. I'm just glad we're finally getting quality time alone."

You hummed. "Minji and you are good right? I didn't intend to break up a friendship."

Jake snapped his head towards you and gave you crazed look. "Baby, what are you talking about? You did nothing wrong! If my friendship with Minji would've ended it would've been because of her trying to break us up. You went through so much the last couple weeks and held everything in.. I'm so proud of you but I can't help but feel guilty because of it."

You took your free hand and caressed Jake's forearm with it. "Stop feeling guilty; you've done more than enough to make it up," you giggled.

Jake hesitated a little before biting his lip. "Well, does that mean you don't want the last surprise?"

You groaned. "Jake there's more? You've already done so much what could possibly–"

"Shh," he brought a finger up to your lip. "Let me do the talking right now." You both stopped walking and Jake let go of your hand. He placed your shoes on the sand and stood in front of you. "You trust me right Y/N?"

You vigorously nodded. "Of course Jake! With my whole life."

He gently kissed your lips before reaching into his pocket for a blue velvet box and got down on one knee making you gasp.

"Jake! I–"

"Baby," he whined. "I said let me do the talking." He waited for your nod to continue and did so with a sigh. "Okay look, truth be told I had a completely different speech prepared for this because.. actually I was planning to propose this December when we planned to go to Australia. I had this whole yacht lunch date planned and then an orchestra band and an after party.. but then the last couple weeks happened. And when you suggested we take a break, I.. I felt like my entire world collapsed."

Jake had tears threatening to fall out of his eyes as he looked up at you with so much love. "You are my entire world.. I couldn't ever imagine a life without you, and I don't think I could wait 3-4 more months to propose. This moment right here, this calm after the storm, it feels right. I want nothing more than to be with you forever. I– I can't promise that I'll always be a good husband even though I know you'll always be a good wife, and I'll apologize for that every single day that I'm alive, but I'm always going to do my very best to keep you happy. Nothing matters to me more than your happiness. Let me be the only man to make you happy forever Y/N. Please.. will you marry me?"

You didn't trust your voice as you could feel the sobs closing up your throat so you nodded, extending your left hand for Jake to slip the ring on; it fit perfectly.

He finally let the tears slip and came up from his position to hug you tight and you let him, wrapping your own arms around his form as you two sobbed. Jake kissed your head repeatedly. "Thank you baby, thank you for making me the happiest I've ever been."

You pulled back a little for the hug and kissed some of his tears away before kissing his plump lips. "I– I love you so much Jake I– thank you for everything."

Jake kissed you once again, murmuring an 'I love you too' as you two finished crying. He grabbed your shoes again and put his hand out to grab your now bejeweled one. "Shall we head back to our room, my fiancee?"

You couldn't help but break out into a smile at the new name. "Of course fiance... God I wish my mom was picking up my calls so I could tell her we're engaged..."

Jake laughed. "Your mom won't be picking up any calls for abouttt.. another 45 minutes," he reported checking his wristwatch.

You cocked your head at him. "Why? Is she not home?"

"She's on a plane.. to Korea.. your whole family is.. for the celebration party of our engagement. My parents are there by now too I think; Heeseung Hyung should've picked them up by now."

Your eyes widened. "What? You flew my parents out?!"

Jake eagerly nodded. "Yup! That's why we're heading back to Korea so early tomorrow morning; we have an engagement party tomorrow night with both of our families and closest friends. I got the guys to decorate it. They'll do fine right?"

You shook your head in disbelief at how this man could continuously sweep you off your feet. "Sim Jaeyun the man you are.. how many more times are you gonna woo me in this lifetime hmm?"

"Oh you have no idea baby."

[tingerines]

Pairing: Azul x GN!Reader Genre: Fluff A/N: The reader in this is not Yuu. I went way too ham at 2 A.M. and ended up writing 11.6k words, so enjoy my descend into fluffy madness lmao.

Everyday life as a librarian is as mundane as you can get within the walls of Night Raven College. With the exceptions of the occasional ruckus caused by groups of college students — mainly Floyd — or Crowley coming to offer yet another deal that you can’t seem to refuse, the library serves as a quiet haven for those who can’t find it elsewhere; you included.

At first you weren’t sure what you wanted to do here, or what you could do here. You’d spent the last couple of months just cramming as much History of Magic knowledge as you could into your brain, simply trying to make sense of the new world that you were in, without giving much thought to how you could fit in if you weren’t going home anytime soon. So, it comes to no surprise that once that was done and over with, you found yourself with way too much free time on your hands.

It’s when you’re in the midst of a particularly rowdy lunch, that your friend Epel mentions a new job opening at the library on-campus. He’d insisted that you apply, explaining that the library was in desperate need of someone that has competent knowledge of literature and you were perfect for the job.

You were hesitant at first, mostly because you were shy and quiet — especially in public settings — and that’s why you gave up trying to befriend more people here. But Epel reasoned it wouldn’t be too bad, or busy, at all because he would be helping you out. Plus, Vil told him that the practice would help him get used to speaking “properly”. So, you applied for the position.

Now you’ve found yourself working at the library for a little over half a year already, and Epel was right: working at the library wasn’t all that difficult. While he offers to deal with inquiring students all day — just to save you the anxiety of having to do so yourself — you’re left to acquire, classify, and catalog materials away from their prying eyes.

Today’s arrangement is no different.

You’ve just finished cataloging this week’s new batch of books, and after carefully stacking them onto your handy-dandy book cart, you head over to the elevator to the second floor. The doors slide apart with a quiet ding! to announce your arrival before you push the book cart to the first set of bookshelves labeled “Fiction: 001 - 200.09”, all the while nodding your head and mumbling polite greetings to the people you pass by.

Your hands busy themselves by putting the books into their respective spots, first alphabetically then by call numbers. You’re halfway through your stacks when someone gently taps on your shoulder, causing you to jump in surprise before you turn around to see Epel standing there.

“Uh… yes?” you ask, clearing your throat as you straighten up and fiddle with the hem of your sweater.

“Could you work the front today? I’m exhausted,” Epel runs a hand through his hair as he sighs in exasperation.

You squint your eyes at him and try to figure out if he’s simply trying to trick you into socializing, but the way his eyebrows are furrowed and his jaw is clenched tells you otherwise. Rather reluctantly, you nod in agreement to his request, “I guess so. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I just didn’t expect working at a library to be the same experience as working retail. Like, excuse me, we sent you the notification that your books were overdue. Don’t yell at me because you didn’t pay attention and now you have to pay the fees, sir,” Epel slams his hand down the top of a book as he emphasizes the last word, the loud sound making you jump.

Epel begins to shove books into the empty slots of the bookshelf, not truly caring if they belong there or not. You can’t help but wince as you watch him do so, the feeling you’re experiencing is like watching someone try to drink soup broth with a fork: it’s just not right.

“Okay, Epel, I’m heading to the front then.”

At this point, the man doesn’t even hear you anymore; too busy in his own thoughts cursing at the disrespect he’s been shown and taking out his frustrations on the bundle of papers in his hands. You turn on your heels before you can change your mind and tell Epel to get the heck away from your precious books and make your way back down to the checkout counter on the first floor.

It’s quiet for a Friday afternoon. Usually you’d expect a small crowd of students to trudge in, their backpacks heavy with textbooks and eye bags as dark as a cloudy sky. Sometimes you miss the days when you used to be like that too; even though it was difficult you made a lot of fond memories that made it all bearable.

You situate yourself on the worn-out leather office chair Epel usually occupies, the backrest creaking a bit too loudly for your liking when you lean against it.

Maybe you can strike up a deal with Crowley to get a new one later. No, scratch that idea — you never know what that man wants in return.

The computer in front of you is just starting to boot up when the entrance of the library swings open, causing your gaze to shift out of curiosity.

Your eyes land on the figure of an attractive young man dressed in the classic NRC school uniform, the purple ribbon secured to his left arm showcasing that he’s a part of the Octavinelle dorm. You can’t shake the feeling that you know this man from somewhere, but you also can’t quite put your finger on where.

Feeling eyes on him, the man turns his head towards you and gives you a polite smile when you make eye contact. You can feel your cheeks heating up in embarrassment from being caught staring, and you avert your eyes almost immediately — opting to stare at the brightly lit computer screen instead.

“Excuse me,” the man calls out, and you think to yourself that his soft-spoken voice matches his angelic appearance very well.

“Yes?” you answer after a few moments of silence, reluctantly glancing up.

As the man approaches the checkout counter, you can’t help but to stare at him with slightly widened eyes and a thin-lipped smile. It must look like you’re in pain to him — in this case, your pain is just downright embarrassment — but you were always one to have your emotions and thoughts written all over your face, so you couldn’t hide it even if you’d wanted to.

“Is Epel out today?” the man asks as he rests his hands on the counter and his eyes scan the space behind you.

“‘Epel’?” you echo your friend’s name, your expression quickly changing into one of confusion. “No, he's here… why?”

“Oh, no reason. He’s just usually the one to be sitting here so I was just wondering,” the man chuckles while shaking his head, a finger pressed to the bridge of his glasses to keep them from moving.

“Okay…” your voice trails off as you weren’t sure what to say next.

Is it usual for Epel to make small talk with everyone? You have to commend him for being able to do that every day with who knows how many people when you can barely think of what to say to this one person. He must have sensed how uncomfortable you feel, because the man takes a step backwards towards the staircase with his thumb pointing over his shoulder.

“I'm guessing he’s upstairs, so I’ll go there,” he announces before giving you another smile, this one more unsettling than the last. “I’ll see you later. Have a great evening.”

You wave goodbye to the man and give him a small, less awkward smile back, watching as he turns and speed walks up the stairs as if someone is chasing him. The smile doesn’t leave your face even after he’s disappeared from your view.

“Of course he would see me later. He has to pass by the checkout counter to leave the library anyways,” you think as you focus your attention back to the computer screen.

On display is a website with the daily list of upcoming school events a.k.a. your number one resource of finding which areas of the school you should avoid like the plague. Your eyes spot a familiar name: Mostro Lounge, and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“Is there ever a time this place isn’t up to no good?” you wonder aloud to yourself as you click on the direct link provided to learn more about the newest event.

If you’re being completely honest, there’s no real reason you feel so negatively towards the Octavinelle restaurant. You’d merely heard rumors from Ace and Deuce when they practically bet their livelihoods to the housewarden for good exam scores, and you decided to avoid the place on the off chance that you get suckered into another bad deal.

You stare at the screen for a few seconds once the browser finally refreshes before rubbing your eyes with your knuckles.

“No way,” you lean closer to the screen while eyeing it in disbelief.

According to the webpage, the Mostro Lounge is holding a promotion for the next week and a percentage of the profits will be donated to the library. You scroll further down to see if there was any other information provided, stopping when a particular headshot catches your eye.

“No way!” you repeat louder this time, your mouth hanging open from the shock that hits you.

“‘No way’ what? Are you okay?” a familiar voice asks, causing your head to snap up.

You can only shake your head wordlessly as Epel approaches the checkout counter, empty book cart in hand. He pauses, an eyebrow raised as he questions you impatiently, “well, are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“T— this… Epel, you—” you manage to stammer out incoherent words as you look back and forth between the screen and your friend, a finger pointed accusingly at him. “Have you made a deal with the Octavinelle housewarden?”

“Who, Azul?” Epel’s face is full of confusion when you mention the man’s name. “Why do you ask?”

You shoot up from your seat and turn the computer screen around, and Epel leans forward to look at whatever it is you keep aggressively tapping at. It’s only then that it crosses his mind that he hadn’t told you about the deal Crowley and Azul had made.

“Oh, right. So, uh… about that,” Epel starts off slowly, a hand rubbing the back of his neck while he tries to keep the guilt from showing on his face. Just like you, Epel has a hard time masking the emotion on his face. “Azul has apparently been complaining that there’s a lack of useful books here during one of the Housewarden Meetings; so the Headmage agreed to allow him to choose our next couple batches as long as he pitches in.”

“What in the Sevens is a ‘useful book’ in his standards?” your eyebrows furrow in frustration, side-eyeing the endless shelves of books you spend every day organizing.

“Books that will help him fulfill his end of his contracts, of course. Probably for potions like the one that he makes for Vil’s skincare,” Epel speaks matter-of-factly before he turns back to the book cart, humming a show tune while strolling away to the storage room behind you.

Leave it to Epel to be so nonchalant about anything and everything.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath to calm your heart that you didn’t realize was racing from adrenaline, your body slowly sinking back down onto the office chair with a short creak.

Meanwhile Azul is on the second floor, leaning against the wooden railing as he observes you curiously. Of course Azul is aware of the reputation he’s built around himself: a man capable of granting any wish, though the price is steep. One should be wary when agreeing to enter a contract with him. With such a reputation, he would have expected you to know who he was as soon as he walked in, but apparently you never knew what he looked like in the first place.

Secretly, he likes that fact: there’s someone who exists who doesn’t merely seek him out for their own needs. Not that you were seeking him out in the first place, which also stings.

Azul, please make up your mind.

Azul smiles to himself as he pushes his body away from the railing, turning to eye the multiple bookshelves around him as an idea comes to mind. Since it didn’t seem that you like to converse with strangers, he’ll have to find another way to befriend you.

And so, half an hour later, he finds himself standing at the checkout counter, a satisfied smile on his face as he glances down at the stack of books in his arms.

“Are you ready to check out?” you ask, a polite tone to your voice, as you look up from the computer.

Your smile falters for just a second when you see Azul standing in front of you, the sight of the Octavinelle symbol filling you with a sense of dread. 

Be nice, y/n, it’s not like it’s his fault you’re going to be working overtime for the next foreseeable future.

You clear your throat before shifting the chair around, your hands stretched out to take the books from Azul. He merely shakes his head and carefully sets the pile down on the counter before leaning side to side to make sure none of the books have shifted.

“Have a good day, y/n. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he lightly taps the top of the book pile with his fingertips, drawing your attention away from him and to the books before he steps out of the library.

You furrow your eyebrows, your lips curved into a frown as you ponder whether or not you’ve told him your name yet. You decide that you must have, it’s just that your memory’s getting worse as you get older. A sigh escapes your lips at the thought, your still outstretched hands pulling the books Azul left behind towards you so you could put them back where they belong.

“He’s definitely not checking these back in; he wasn’t even carrying any books when he came in earlier. But then why would he bring them here if he wasn’t planning on borrowing them?” you think and eye the books curiously, your chin sandwiched between your fingers.

Hello, Sunshine by [redacted] It’s a Beautiful Day by [redacted] Introduction by [redacted] Humans by [redacted] Peach by [redacted] How to Make Friends for Dummies by [redacted]

You furrow your eyebrows while thinking to yourself that Azul has — well, not strange — but definitely an interestingly wide taste in book genres. But the thought quickly goes away when you give the books a second glance, now wondering if the stranger was trying to give you a secret message through… book spines?

“Hey, Epel!” you call out, not moving your gaze away from the books as if they might disappear if you look away.

“What?!” Epel’s muffled voice answers from the storage room.

“Could you come here for a sec?”

You hear the click of a door opening behind you followed by the shuffling of feet as Epel makes his way over to you. You gather the books into your arms before turning in the chair to face Epel.

“Look, look. What’s this?” you nudge the pile towards Epel.

“Uh… books?” Epel crosses his arms before looking down at the items in your arms with an unimpressed look. “Is this some kind of trick question?”

You roll your eyes at his sassy tone and nudge the books even closer, “no, Epel. Someone left these here. Look at the titles.”

“Huh,” Epel huffs, eyes carefully scanning the titles as he's told to. “What about them?”

“I’m not sure. Is this supposed to be a message or what?” you can’t help the impatient tone that creeps into your voice as you drop the books onto your lap.

Epel gently bites his thumb as he ponders it for a bit. Some of the students here did have some unconventional ways of communicating sometimes. That was apparent from the way Rook asked Epel for help with an Alchemy project last month: by sliding a heart-shaped sticky note under his dorm room door at 4 A.M..

“Yeah, it could be,” Epel finally answers you with a shrug. “Why don’t you try giving them a response? The worst-case scenario is you got it wrong.”

And with that suggestion, Epel leaves you alone again; but not before giving you a, what you assume is supposed to be reassuring, pat on the shoulder.

“Maybe I should,” you think as you glance down at the stacks of books once more, a shy smile creeping onto your face.

❥

The next morning, you enter the library with a feeling of anticipation that you haven’t felt in a long time. You spent a good chunk of last night thinking of how to properly respond to Azul’s message: should you use book spines like he did? Or perhaps try a blackout poem?

You decided on the latter but didn’t have the heart to color inside a book or rip out a page. As a compromise, you wrote out a page of Azul’s first book on a separate piece of paper instead. And that paper is currently tucked into the back pocket of your pants, awaiting the right moment for you to pass it along to its intended receiver.

“Good morning, Epel,” you sing-song, almost skipping around the counter to give the man a hug.

“Morn— ah!” Epel yelps when he suddenly finds himself engulfed in your arms and he raises a hand hesitantly to pat your back, “nice to see you too? Someone’s happy this morning.”

“I am, I’m sorry,” you giggle, unwrapping your arms around the man before taking a step back, “can you do me a favor?”

“Depends on what,” Epel hums, his eyes narrowing because he should have known you weren’t being so nice for no reason. He watches as you shove your hands into your back pocket and pull out a piece of light pink paper folded into an origami peach fruit. His eyes cross when you hold it up a bit too close to his face. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Could you please give this to the stranger from last night?” you ask quietly while giving your friend your best puppy dog eyes.

He blinks, his gaze shifting between your face and the paper peach in front of him. He purses his lips before reluctantly nodding and snatching the paper out of your hands, “Okay… but I don’t even know who I’m looking for, so why can’t you do it yourself?”

“You know why,” your lips jut out into a pout while Epel shakes his head into his hands. “I can’t be there to look him in the eyes if I was actually wrong!”

“You’re actually hopeless, y/n. Maybe you should be meeting with Vil to work on your confidence.”

“I’ll hard pass on that one.”

“So, what’s he look like?”

“Fair-skinned. Beauty mark on the left side of his chin. Short, wavy grey hair. Oh, and I’m ninety-nine percent sure he’s in Octavinelle.”

Epel peeks up at you from between his fingers, glad that his hands are hiding the shocked look on his face. Surely there’s no way that you’re actually describing Azul Ashengrotto without realizing it.

Speaking of the devil, the entrance to the library swings open and the aforementioned man comes striding in with a certain loud eel following closely behind.

Your body automatically straightens as you shoot daggers at the tall man, “Floyd, please try not to cause a disturbance today — and please leave Riddle alone.”

“Oh? I’m afraid you have the wrong brother,” the man chuckles, fist coming up to his lips as he shoots you a polite smile. “See the way this part of my hair curves to look like a ‘J’? That’s the easiest way to make out that I’m Jade.”

“Oh, Sevens. I’m so sorry,” your face begins to heat up in embarrassment once you take a closer look at the man. “I see you two so often, I can’t believe I’m still making that mistake.”

“No worries at all, it’s a common mistake. Housewarden Riddle will be safe to study in peace today.”

“Wonderful, then our heads are safe for today,” you place your hand on your chest and breathe a sigh of relief.

You then glance at the familiar man standing next to Jade with his hands nervously clenched together in front of him. You flash him a warm smile and a quick “good morning” before excusing yourself to the storage room.

No one within a five-feet radius could miss the way you waved aggressively at Epel as you walked away.

“Right,” Epel drawls once he hears the sound of a door click. He holds out the peach origami unceremoniously, his face screaming boredom when no one moves. “I believe this is for you.”

“My, my, you have great craftsmanship, Epel,” Jade smiles again, leaning in to study the pink paper in the other’s hand.

“I didn’t make it, y/n did. And it’s not for you,” Epel rolls his eyes, shifting his hands towards Azul’s direction.

Azul’s expression is a mixture of surprise and embarrassment. First, surprise from you understanding the message he had conveyed from the books last night. He admittedly had never done something like that before, and didn’t have enough time to go scavenger hunting for the right books.

Second, embarrassment from having been discovered in front of one of the twins. There’s no way this isn’t going to reach Floyd’s ears and he’ll have to mentally prepare himself for a royal tease storm later.

Azul clears his throat and ignores the way Jade’s eyes follow him curiously when he takes a few steps forward to grab the paper from Epel, “thank you for this.”

“I must have missed a couple chapters here,” Jade comments in amusement. “Would you care to share?”

“Absolutely not, Jade.”

❥

It’s not until Azul is in the safety from prying eyes of the V.I.P. room that Azul finally decides to read what you’ve given him.

He picks up the paper peach delicately like it is his mother’s fine china, turning it over and over between his fingers to study your origami work.

It’s a shame I have to ruin this, Azul thinks to himself as he gingerly unfolds your note. He stares at the long thick lines of black drawn on the page, mentally reading the words that were purposely made legible.

[illegible] It’s nice to meet you, [illegible] You have [illegible] a beautiful smile [illegible] I like [illegible] your [illegible] books.

A few more lines of black.

I’m sorry [illegible] It’s a bit awkward, but [illegible] See you soon.

Azul rests his cheek on the palm of his hand, an amused smile appearing on his face as he re-reads your note.

“They’re certainly creative,” he mutters to himself as he follows the creases of the paper to re-fold your origami peach, ideas already popping into his mind as a feeling of anticipation similar to yours bubbles up inside of him.

Thus, begins your unique form of communication with the housewarden.

On the night the promotion is to begin at Mostro Lounge, Azul drops yet another pile of books for you at the checkout counter. His lips are curved up to a rare timid smile as Epel stares at him from his seat, “I assume these aren’t for yourself.”

“Um… no,” Azul rubs the back of his neck, suddenly feeling a bit awkward.

“I’ll make sure y/n gets this,” Epel can’t help but laugh at the expression on Azul’s face as he slides the books closer to himself. “Why do you look like that? I’m not judging you.”

“I know you aren’t!” Azul quickly retorts, his voice rising slightly in defense. “It’s just… I feel a little weird. We’ve never spoken more than a handful of words to each other, but now I'm getting excited to talk to them like this…”

Epel waves his hand in the air dismissively, “trust me: even I’m surprised at how things are unfolding between the two of you.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t told them who I am yet.”

“I’m not doing it for you. I’m just glad y/n’s finally opening up and making new friends,” Epel says plainly before sticking his tongue out at the older man. “No matter how suspicious the new friend could be.”

Before Azul could question him further, Jade appears by his side, whispering into his ear that they will need to return to the lounge soon. Azul reluctantly excuses himself and follows his vice-housewarden back to the Hall of Mirror.

It’s the busiest that you’ve ever seen the library, watching from the safety of the opened door to the storage room as an endless circulation of people come in and out the door. In the crowd, you catch a momentary glimpse of Azul’s warm smile just before he left. The mere sight of it causes butterflies to flutter in your stomach and you tiptoe over to the counter where Epel is situated hoping to catch another glimpse of it.

You immediately hear a soft shuffling sound coming from beneath you and it causes you to look down. There lies yet another stack of books, and you give Epel a questioning glance though his eyes remain glued to the scene in front of him. Did he expect you to put these back? Right now?

When you bend down to grab the books, you almost want to facepalm yourself for being such an idiot. Because there laid yet another message from Azul; this one shorter than the last.

The Sun Says Hello by [redacted] Thank You by [redacted] You Are Beautiful by [redacted] Look Below by [redacted]

Look below? you think before following the instructions and literally looking down, but only seeing your feet. Of course, that’s not it. What about…?

You lift the pile of books off the table, a grin appearing on your face when you see a folded piece of paper where the books once were. You glance over to where you last saw Azul and can’t help but wonder if this is how the characters in romance novels felt; the nervousness of passing each other a new secret message, the anxiety of wondering if they’ve said the right thing, the excitement of awaiting a response, and the exhilaration of the whole process.

You gently pat your warming cheeks with your hands and snap yourself out of your brief thoughts. With a shake of your head, you take the note and make your way back to the storage room before closing the door behind you.

“You need to get out more,” you say aloud to yourself, referring to your ridiculous thoughts of comparing your humdrum life to a romance novel.

You click your tongue in disapproval, your hands busy unfolding Azul’s note to read the contents written inside.

Y/n, I’m sorry if this was too corny. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by approaching you directly. Thank you for your response, I really wasn’t expecting it. You guys have so many books here that it’d take a long time for me to find the ones I need to send another book spine message. I mean, not that that’s a bad thing! I hope you don’t mind a good old fashion letter though. Why don’t we share quotes from our favorite books instead? That way I don't have to trouble you and make you put back the books I took. I’m curious to know what kinds of literature you like to read. I’ll go first. “He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.” Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy - Azul Ashengrotto

You feel like your eyes are going to pop out of their sockets from how suddenly they grew wide, “Wha— you mean, like, the Octavinelle Housewarden Azul?!”

❥

A few weeks pass by with more than a handful of letters being exchanged between you and Azul; though, truthfully, you were tempted to stop your correspondence once you were aware of Azul’s identity.

“Eh, why? Did he say something wrong?” Epel had inquired when you came to him for advice once again.

“Well, no, but he did put Ace and Deuce into a predicament, so…”

“They kind of had that coming for opting to cheat instead of just studying like we did.”

“You sound just like Jack.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. What else?”

“Uh, because of the dang promotion he’s doing, we’re going to be a lot busier than usual.”

“Y/n. We work in a library — located on-campus, might I add. And it’s almost finals season,” Epel looks about ready to throw a book at you so maybe that’ll knock some sense into you.

“Okay… but what if this is just a ploy to get me to sign my livelihood away in some contract?”

“Azul’s a straightforward business man. He definitely wouldn’t be wasting his time like this just for a contract.”

You paused and thought through Epel’s words for a moment. It did make sense: why would Azul be spending his precious free time to entertain you in this way if he could’ve simply approached you with a salesman’s pitch?

You felt guilty for immediately assuming that his intentions were bad. Afterall, your only experience with the man outside of this long exchange was from word of mouth. Not to mention that his restaurant promotion was beneficial to both the library and the students.

“Okay, you may have a good point. Several good points, in fact,” you sigh in defeat.

In the beginning, both you and Azul had to badger Epel to pass along secret letters to the other person; and the requests were almost always followed with a look of utter displeasure.

There was more than one occasion where Epel was tempted to just lock the two of you inside the storage room until you would eventually talk.

Luckily for all three of you, he never had to resort to that.

There eventually came a point when you felt comfortable enough to approach Azul first, and he would always welcome you with a heart-stopping smile; one that would leave your cheeks feeling warm and catch your words in your throat. If the man knew the effect that he had on you, he was certainly gracious enough not to show it.

In his free time, Azul likes to stroll around the library with you. While it’s usually in a comfortable silence, he’ll sometimes ask you to elaborate on things from your last correspondences.

Other times, he’ll ask you to proofread his contracts or ask for your ideas on how he can improve sales at Monstro Lounge — things he usually either did himself or asked for Jade’s assistance. You always tell him that you’re not qualified enough to give him such advice, but he always insists anyway.

Just like that, you learn more about each other and your tastes in literature than you would have with anyone else.

Today Azul arrives at the library just as you’re finishing up your afternoon tasks. You rush over to the checkout counter as soon as you see him come in, the warm, welcoming smile on your face immediately lifting his spirits.

“Hi, Azul! Welcome back,” you call out to the man, waving at him with your free hand while the other is clutching a clipboard full of inventory paperwork.

“Hi, y/n,” Azul’s lips quirk up into his signature sweet smile that doesn’t betray the quick beating of his heart. “How was your day?”

“Tiring… but I kind of like seeing the new faces around here so I don’t mind that trade-off,” you answer, referring to the influx of students scrambling to prepare for finals at every available corner of the building.

“I’m glad that you’re starting to warm up to strangers,” Azul chuckles, his hand reaching out to gently ruffle your hair. You stare up at Azul with widened eyes, and he stares back with his hand slightly trembling; clearly you both are surprised by the affectionate gesture.

Azul suddenly clears his throat, breaking you both out of your momentary trance as he pulls his hand away. Even if he didn’t plan on showing his affection as such, he couldn’t deny that he’s started to develop romantic feelings for you.

That's why he came today, so he could finally ask you something that he’d been delaying for the past week or so.

“So, anyways,” Azul starts, and you can hear the subtle tone of nervousness in his voice.

You watch with furrowed eyebrows as Azul slips a strap of his backpack off his shoulders and unzips the largest pocket. After a few seconds of digging around, Azul finally flourishes a handful of books that he holds out towards you with the spines purposefully facing away.

“What’re these for?” you ask curiously, though you don’t wait for an answer before taking the books from Azul and clutching them to your chest. “Are we going back to book spine messages now?”

“Yeah, I hope you don’t mind,” Azul nods in confirmation before shrugging his backpack strap back on. He presses his lips into a thin line, eyes fixed to the floor beside you and cheeks a rosy tint as he asks, “um… I— I’ll get a reply before I leave today… right?”

“Of course, that’s been our routine for a while now,” you giggle as you find it quite adorable how shy Azul suddenly got, even if you don’t know the reason why yet.

“I’ll be waiting then,” Azul flashes an uncharacteristic half-smile before heading up to his usual writing spot on the second floor.

Although Azul seems to be acting strange today, you think that maybe he’s had a difficult time convincing Floyd to study today and has a headache. You roll your eyes at the thought while shaking your head and mumbling, “I’ll squeeze that eel twice as hard the next time I see him.”

With a loud sigh, you make your way around the checkout counter and plop down onto Epel’s vacant office chair with a familiar loud creak. You wince, bowing your head apologetically at the few people who turned towards the source of the sudden noise that disturbed their peace.

Once their attention is averted back to whatever they were doing before they were so rudely interrupted, you turn your attention back to the books Azul handed you earlier. The last time he gave you something like this was when he asked to start exchanging letters instead; so, you’re curious as to why he suddenly decided to change his method again.

You place the books on the counter in front of you, your clipboard and paperwork long forgotten underneath the stack.

Friday Nights by [redacted] Dinner Recipes by [redacted] Together by [redacted] If You’d Like To by [redacted]

You stare at the books with a dumbfounded expression, not wanting to jump into conclusions about its meaning; but what else could it mean besides Azul Ashengrotto asking you out to dinner this Friday night?

It suddenly makes sense why he was acting kind of shy earlier.

The thought makes you feel warm inside, and you have to hide the wide smile appearing on your face behind your hands.

You don’t want to wait until Azul leaves tonight to give him an answer, and you make up your mind almost right away to tell him your answer verbally — mostly because your brain is not comprehending what’s going on well enough to function properly and think of a creative response to his invitation.

You shake your head while patting your cheeks rather roughly, getting up from your seat carefully to not make any more unwanted noise.

Your feet rush you up the stairs to the second floor before you can talk yourself into chickening out, before you can change your mind, before—

The sight of Azul makes you stop in your tracks, your heart hammering wildly against your chest. Was it from seeing the person that you adore, or was it from the sudden rush of adrenaline? You honestly can’t tell anymore.

Azul is hunched over a short pile of papers — the lack of paper balls around him makes you think that he’s at least got a good start to his studying session — his cheek is resting against his fist as the other hand is busy writing away. His eyebrows are furrowed in utter concentration, so much so that he doesn’t even realize that his glasses are slowly sliding down the bridge of his nose.

You quietly make your way to the chair across the table from the man and settle yourself down onto the wooden material with your eyes still fixed on him. You’re not sure if it’s just the harsh lighting of the library or you weren’t paying attention earlier, but you can see faint dark circles under his eyes.

“Aren’t you sleeping enough?” you mumble, though Azul still doesn’t hear you. Your hand reaches out without you meaning to, your fingertips gently brushing aside the locks of hair that were starting to cover Azul’s eyes.

This finally gathers his attention and the man jolts in surprise, his eyes wide as his head shoots up to see you sitting across from him.

You can’t help but giggle at how adorable Azul looks, pulling your hand back to cover your mouth as you do so, “I’m so sorry. I didn't think you could get so focused in, like, five minutes.”

“Oh— I— yeah, sorry,” the man snaps back to his senses before his hands are spread out to cover whatever he’s written — not that he needed to. You wouldn’t have peeked anyways, and you both know that well enough: you’d never look unless he asked you to. “Did you need something?”

“Huh?” you question before cursing yourself mentally, because just a fleeting look at Azul could make your mind go completely blank. You quickly shake your head before Azul could elaborate, “no, no! I just… I'm saying yes. To your, uh… invitation.”

“My invi— oh,” Azul’s mouth forms a small “o” as he realizes what you’re referring to; and just like the first time you gave him a response, he’s caught by surprise.

To be honest, he was mentally preparing himself for rejection. Lack of self-confidence aside, he wasn’t sure if you felt the same way he did; whereas he ended his letters with quite corny quotes from romance novels, you missed his hints and always ended yours with quotes from novels in any other genre.

“Is that… okay?” you ask hesitantly when Azul doesn’t say anything else. You can feel your entire body starting to feel warm from embarrassment, the thought that you must have misinterpreted his words hitting you like a brick.

“Y—yeah, of course!” Azul answers a bit too quickly, and the more time passes by, the wider his smile gets and the redder his ears turn. “I’m the one who asked, why are you asking if it’s okay to say ‘yes’?”

“I thought I misinterpreted,” you confess after releasing the breath you were anxiously holding in.

Azul chuckles and places his hands on yours before giving them a reassuring squeeze, “I’m sorry, I was caught off guard. But thank you for agreeing to go out with me.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” your cheeks begin to burn as the cliché phrase leaves your lips. “but um… where are we going? Are you actually going to cook dinner?”

You don’t doubt that the man probably has skills in a kitchen. He owns a restaurant after all, but you’ve never visited before so you’re not sure who actually does all the cooking. Azul merely runs his thumb and index finger across his lips in a zipping motion.

“It’s a surprise!”

❥

The next few days follow in a blur of excitement and expectancy. You’ve tried to ask Azul multiple times for even just a hint of what your plans would be for Friday night, but he stays true to his word of keeping everything a surprise.

So, come Friday, you decide to dress comfortably with a pair of straight leg jeans and an oversized, lilac-toned sweater. It’s simplistic, but when Azul comes to pick you up at the library that night, it seems that the two of you had unintentionally matched — though his sweater is slightly darker in color.

When you first see each other, you point at one-another as if you were the infamous Spider-man meme. Small bursts of laughter leave both of your lips as you decide to make the first move and reach out for his hand.

Without his gloves on, you can feel how clammy Azul’s hand is from nervousness. You don’t mind it very much though, his hand is still very soft and warm and comforting to you. 

“Are you ready?” Azul asks, daring to give your hand the tiniest squeeze.

“Uh, as ready as someone can be when they don’t know where they’re going.”

Azul chuckles as he nods, “okay, fair enough. It’s nowhere bad, I promise. I’m not a serial killer.”

“That sounds exactly like what a serial killer would say in a mystery book, but I’ll trust you.”

“You read way too many crime books,” Azul comments, thinking back to the quotes you’ve written to him in your letters.

“I’d like to say I’ve broadened my horizons just a little bit. Though I never would’ve taken you for such a romantic,” you tease back, smiling sheepishly when the man chokes on his own spit at your words.

“I— uh, I’m most definitely not,” Azul says defensively between coughs, his cheeks reddening though you aren’t sure if it’s because he choked or because he’s actually feeling shy. “It’s just research for my, uh… contract work.”

“Sure, sure. Whatever you say,” you chuckle, rubbing the man’s back with your free hand until he ceases to cough.

The rest of the walk is blanketed in a comfortable silence, your gaze fixed on the fairy lights decorating the exterior of the school buildings. Once the lights have all but disappeared, your initial thought is that the dark hallways really don’t help Azul’s claim of not being a serial killer. If it’s true, then at least your last sight would be of a handsome man.

A few more minutes pass before you finally set foot inside the familiar Hall of Mirrors, Azul slowly guiding you to the mirror that connects to the Octavinelle dorm.

“You’ve never been to the Mostro Lounge before, have you?” Azul asks when he sees you staring apprehensively at the mirror.

“No, I haven’t.”

“It’s my pleasure to accompany you on your first visit then,” Azul smiles with a hand on his chest. “Hopefully, you’ll enjoy your time tonight so you can come visit again in the future.”

“I’m sure I’ll enjoy it since I’m with you, but will the tweels be there tonight? I can only imagine the amount of teasing we’re going to be enduring soon. Not that I mind!” you quickly add before Azul can take that as a sign to cancel.

“Hah, I thought about that too,” Azul mutters, two fingers rubbing circles on his temple as if to fight back an oncoming headache. “But…”

“But?” you tilt your head curiously, prying when Azul refuses to make eye contact with you.

Azul takes a deep breath, mentally willing himself to say possibly the cheesiest thing he’s ever said in his life, “but I don’t mind suffering just a little bit if you’ll be by my side.”

Now it’s your turn to start choking on air. Yeah, he definitely reads way too many romance novels.

❥

When you finally set foot inside the Monstro Lounge, it isn’t quite as busy as you had anticipated it to be. There are just a handful of patrons sitting around, mostly chattering amongst themselves and only momentarily stopping when you and Azul pass by.

It’s peaceful, and you have to wonder why Azul prefers to work in the library as opposed to here. And well, to be fair, it’s only this “slow” tonight due to Azul’s own doing. Ah, the sacrifices on profits he has to make for love.

You place your hand in Azul’s outstretched one after you enter the lounge, shy smiles on both of your faces as you allow him to guide you towards the kitchen. You don’t even notice that Azul hasn’t let go of your hand when you bump into Jade and Floyd.

“Oh, my, what a surprise to see you here, Azul,” Jade calmly says as he bows his head, “and y/n is here too. What a pleasant surprise. Good evening, y/n.”

“Ohhhh? Azul, you didn’t tell us you were bringing over a date tonight,” Floyd grins mischievously, only a second away from springing forward to squeeze you if Jade wasn’t holding on to the back of his shirt. “And it’s the dolphin from the library. Hi, dolphin.”

“H—hello,” you quickly greet the two men, your hand grasping Azul’s tighter in fear of an oncoming squeeze, “I hope we’re not intruding.”

“Not at all. I already told Jade beforehand that we were coming, so we’ll have the place to ourselves in a moment,” Azul answers you, his free hand adjusting the bridge of his glasses. “Please spare me that shocked look, Floyd. You know you’re the last person I would inform of a date.”

“Aw, Azul, you’re a meanie! I wouldn’t have teased you that much, I swear!” Floyd huffs and pouts.

“I can hardly believe that.”

“Now, now, Floyd. Let’s leave the lovebirds alone,” Jade coos, patting his brother on the back before slowly pushing him towards the direction you had just come in from. “Have a wonderful time, y/n. Azul.”

“You’ll be hearing from me later,” Floyd grumbles, pout still very apparent on his face while he reluctantly follows his brother out the door.

With their departure, the kitchen falls eerily silent, safe for the quiet hum of the commercial freezer in the corner. Azul silently lets go of your hand and dares to place a hand on the small of your back instead as he guides you deeper inside.

You’re not surprised by how impeccably clean the kitchen seems to be, surely Azul checks in often to ensure that everything is up to his standards and beyond. But what you are surprised by is the sight that greets you when Azul finally opens a door at the very back of the kitchen.

You’re greeted by the afternoon sunlight streaming through a window that doesn’t seem to belong in an underwater dorm. But there’s no way that you could be hallucinating the sight in front of you.

In the middle of the room is a long, wooden farm table with about four mismatched wooden chairs encompassing it; the wide window sill you saw first is showcasing several small pots that are homes to what you assume to be herbs and vegetables.

Azul notices your awe-filled gaze and retracts his hand, allowing you to roam around the room freely while he heads back to the kitchen to check on tonight’s dinner — courtesy of Jade. The acoustic in the room allows for your voice to be heard loud and clear though you’re technically in separate rooms.

“I didn’t know that they have rooms like this in the Coral Sea,” you say aloud, the tone of your voice conveying that your statement is serious.

“We definitely don’t,” you hear distant Azul’s chuckle and you can mentally picture the kind of smile the man has on his face at the moment. “That room is typically used as storage, but I borrowed a magic projector from Vil a while ago to make it look more home-y for you.”

“It certainly does look like home…” you say to yourself as you slowly take in your surroundings more carefully.

You’re not sure how Azul would know it himself as you’ve never talked to him about it before, but the setting before you — brought by a magic projector or not — does remind you of the dining room from back home. It’s been so long since you’d last seen it that you’d almost forgotten what it looked like.

It’s a kind gesture that brings tears of joy and nostalgia to your eyes.

“Thank you, Azul, this is really thoughtful of you. I don’t have anything to give you in return right now, but… what is it that you wish for, Azul?” you’ve made your way towards the kitchen by now, your shoulder leaning against the doorway as you gaze at the man with a look filled with curiosity.

Azul glances over his shoulders to look at you, his lips curving up into a soft smile as he shrugs, “if I tell you my wish, then it won’t come true.”

You fold your arms and hum in response, “okay, fair enough. I thought you were going to say ‘world domination’.”

“That’s such a plain wish, but I bet younger me would’ve wished for something just like that,” Azul laughs aloud at himself before shaking his head, “I think nowadays my wish is to be more confident in myself and my own abilities.”

You nod in understanding as you recall the brief stories he would share of his childhood. It seems that Azul has gone through so much in a short amount of time, but he’s also changed so much since then.

You walk over to the man and place your hand above his own, the steam from your dinner eventually warming your hand and dampening them as well.

“I think you’re doing a wonderful job right now, and I’m very proud of you,” you smile fondly at Azul, causing his eyes to widen in surprise and his chest to tighten as if he may burst into tears at any moment now.

“T—thank you…” it’s the first time someone has said anything like that to him before, and he’s not sure how he should respond. Right now, he’s only focused on making sure his face isn’t turning as red as Riddle’s.

“Of course! I’ll remind you of that as often as you’d like!”

Just as quickly as his expression changed before, Azul’s face brightens up once more at your response. He turns on his heels, his arms balancing a variety of plates packed with food. You reach out to help alleviate the burden on his arms, but he moves his arms away from your reach before leaning down to get to eye level with you.

“Then I have even more of a reason to be grateful, right? We got to meet each other, and my wishful thinking… may not be such after all.”

Your features crease into a look of confusion at the man’s unexpected words, but when you gaze into his dark grey orbs you can see the sincerity in them.

Unknowingly, the space between your faces starts to become smaller and smaller. Azul’s gaze shifts between your eyes, then your lips, then back up again. But before anything can happen, as if the universe is playing a joke on you, a plate in Azul’s arm shifts ever so slightly and causes the two of you to jump apart.

A rather awkward laugh makes its way past your lips and you hurriedly reach out to grab a few plates from Azul’s arms before he can protest. You don’t say a single word as you set the plates down onto the farm table, your mind too busy screaming a million incoherent thoughts, and Azul follows suit.

“I’m so sorry,” Azul is the first to break the silence once you’ve taken a seat diagonal to each other, on either side of a table corner.

“What? Don’t be sorry,” you shake your head while simultaneously waving your hands. Your fingers slowly curve into loose fists that you rest atop your lap, the small smile on your face mirroring Azul’s own.

“Do you… know why I asked you out tonight?” Azul hesitantly asks, a quiet sigh leaving his lips when you shake your head ‘no’. “Well, it’s just that I realized that we’ve spent most of our time together in the library— well, in fact, I have never seen you outside of the library. It finally occurred to me that I might be making you feel like you don’t matter outside of that space. Which you do!”

“I don’t feel that way though…” you try to reassure him, but it seems like your words only enter one ear and exit the other as he continues to speak.

“I’ve truly enjoyed exchanging all those letters with you and being able to connect through our shared love for books. But, if you don’t mind, I’d like to start seeing you outside of that too.”

It doesn’t take you long to process the situation and, to your utmost surprise, your heart isn’t hammering in your chest like you think it should. Instead your entire body feels comfortably warm and you have the overwhelming urge to embrace Azul.

At this point, you’ve garnered enough courage to do just that.

You stand up and quickly make your way over to him, your arms immediately wrapping themselves around Azul’s shoulders while your face hides in the crook of his neck. It takes a moment for him to respond, but Azul’s arms eventually find their place around your waist to press your body firmly against his.

“You’re such an idiot, Azul,” you mutter after what feels like an eternity has passed.

Your words cause the man’s lower lip to jut out into a pout, and he leans back ever so slightly so he can look at your face; you almost whine when the warmth of Azul’s body leaves you.

“Why am I an idiot?” Azul inquires, a hand moving to tuck loose strands of hair behind your ear.

“Because… if I really felt that way then I never would have kept reciprocating for so long. It doesn’t matter if we spent all that time in one place because it never got boring or tiring with you around,” you pause to flash a fond smile at Azul. “And even now, I’m having the time of my life just being here in your presence. Is that too corny to say? It’s the truth though.”

Azul chuckles in amusement while shaking his head, “it’s not corny. I think.”

It’s the first time that you’ve been so straightforward without getting flustered, and he’s not sure where your sudden courage came from.

Not that he’s complaining about it though.

When you two first met, you could barely hold a conversation with him for more than a minute. While he did feel a pang of disappointment every time, he never took it personally — especially not after seeing you interact with other students in a similar manner.

You caught him off guard when you finally approached him first, weeks after your first correspondences, though your cheeks were permanently warm while you tried your best to converse with him.

He found you adorable, like a newborn seal pup being introduced to the world for the first time.

Azul has always enjoyed your company since the beginning, whereas he’d prefer to be left alone to work in the past. But then he found himself going back to the library time and time again, until it became a regular occurrence.

He admittedly never got a lot of studying done when he was at the library — at least, not at the times when he accompanied you on your daily runs to shelve book returns.

Azul’s still not sure when his feelings developed beyond those of curiosity and friendship.

Perhaps it was when you could finally meet his eyes and hold contact, allowing him to gaze deep into your eyes that always seemed to sparkle with light and joy.

Or perhaps it was when he told you a dad joke so bad that it actually made you burst into a fit of giggles that left you breathless — the mere sight of you smiling gleefully tugging at his heartstrings in the best way.

Regardless of the when, where, why, and how’s, Azul is certain of his feelings for you.

“I wonder if this is how Benedick and Beatrice felt when they finally agreed to marry,” you comment, breaking through Azul’s thoughts.

Azul nearly snorts at your remark, “B—Benedick and Beatrice? You mean the ones from “Much Ado About Nothing”?”

“Yeah… why?”

The man laughs after your confirmation, your cheeks being partially squished between his palms as he brings your faces closer together until the tips of your noses are almost touching, “no offense — I adore that beautiful mind of yours — but I don’t think those two exactly exude the idea of ‘wholesome’.”

“But think of the relief they must’ve felt after they didn’t have to pretend they didn’t love each other anymore.”

“So, you love me?” Azul quirks an eyebrow up challengingly.

“Wh— you’re taking that too literally,” you grumble with a fist hitting the man’s chest gently, though the way you avoid his eyes and your cheeks are flushed tells him that he may be somewhere on the right path.

“Then… do you like me?” Azul inquires, and you can see the mischievous glint in his eyes when you finally meet them.

“Do we really have to say that out loud after we already did our monologues?”

“I want to hear it from you. Please.”

You swallow the small lump in your throat, though that’s the only sign of nervousness in your entire body.

You find it fascinating how quickly your body’s reactions change whenever Azul is around. There’s a sense of nerves and shyness when you’re in the midst of new experiences, but it just as quickly changes to feelings of calmness because the man brings you such a sense of comfort you never expected.

Just like how the lump in your throat dissipates and leaves you to gaze at Azul with complete fondness.

There’s not a moment of hesitation before your whispered confession of “I truly like you, Azul Ashengrotto.” hangs in the air.

Just those simple words of affirmation make Azul’s entire face light up, the sight of his bright smile making you feel like you were standing in the middle of a field and soaking in the warm summer sunlight.

“And I like you, y/n.”

Your bodies act as if on muscle memory, Azul’s face tilting ever so slightly while your eyes flutter shut. You’re not sure who closes the distance first. Perhaps it was both of you moving simultaneously, but your lips eventually meet in a fleeting and gentle kiss.

There were no fireworks igniting behind your eyelids like they’d described in the countless books you’ve read, but it still leaves you feeling lightheaded. Like you’re melting into Azul’s arms. Like there’s only the two of you alone in this vast world.

When you pull apart, the two of you giggle like schoolgirls but the action isn’t fueled by feelings of awkwardness or nervousness. You both gaze at each other with eyes full of admiration and budding feelings of love, the feelings that were hidden before from fear of being rejected finally bubbling up to the surface.

You’ve long forgotten about the now-cold plates of food sitting in front of you; opting to spend the rest of the night exchanging even more gentle kisses and whispered sweet nothings.

❥

The dynamics of your relationship with Azul hardly changed after you confirmed your feelings for one-another, and you truly feel grateful that there was no pressure on you to act differently.

Of course, now there were a lot more lingering touches, your fingers almost always intertwined if there was nothing to keep them busy. You’d even sneak brief kisses behind the cover of bookshelves when you thought no one was looking.

Even if neither of you were a fan of P.D.A., you made an exception for each other. 

Nothing was made official between the two of you after that fateful night, as Azul opted to wait another half a year before asking you to be his partner.

You didn’t mind his decision to take things slow. You both wanted to make sure that your feelings for each other weren’t just illusions brought forth by letters on paper — though you knew that wasn’t the case anyways.

When he felt that the time was right, Azul asked the question in the best way that he knew how to: through book spines. Though unlike how he’d asked you on your “first date,” Azul didn’t shy away after dropping the books off.

He’d waited patiently for you to have some time to spare for him, his chin resting atop his folded arms at the checkout counter as he watched you help patron after patron check out books.

“I have something for you,” Azul could hardly contain his excitement when you finally turned to him and let him know you were free.

“What is it?”

You felt a sense of déjà vu watching Azul dig into his backpack and pull out a stack of books. He placed them down on the counter with the book spines facing you, and you’d half-expected him to walk away like before.

But he stayed there; his eyes curved into double rainbows coupled with a sweet smile, and his hands trembling ever so slightly in nervousness.

Will by [redacted] You by [redacted] Bees by [redacted] Mine by [redacted]

You had to hold back the squeal that was threatening to escape your larynx when you finally looked away from Azul long enough to read his message. Your mind already went over the fact that Azul had to substitute the word “be” with “bees” and you nodded so hard Azul thought your head might fly off.

Now it’s been exactly a year since you two made your relationship official. In the year you’ve spent as a couple — and even before then — you’d fallen into a pleasant routine.

During the weekdays, while you’re working at the library, Azul would be studying in his usual spot in the corner of the second story. After some time, he’d suspiciously stopped asking you to proofread his work.

Every Friday night, he would try out new dinner recipes and you would be in charge of baking dessert — and you wonder how his kitchen has managed to stay so spotless after all this time.

Sometimes you would invite Epel, Ace, and Deuce to come over too, and the first time your friends agreed to come, they were appalled by how sweet you and Azul were; but they secretly loved seeing you genuinely happy in this strange new world.

Saturday’s were reserved for the show-and-tell of Azul’s enormous coin collection, with the latter recalling stories of when he found them on solo adventures in the Coral Sea. When you asked why he had so many, Azul explained that they help with his memory and it’s exciting to learn of the history behind especially old coins. You can’t argue with him there.

Sunday’s are for those who may say that your relationship seems too mundane. You both agreed to do something new during this day, may it be something as small as feeding ducks near the pond or as adventure packed as tagging along with Jade on his strolls in the mountains.

Either way, you always ended the day cuddling up next to each other in Azul’s bedroom.

The collections of books in this world are endless, and you’ve made it a habit to take turns reading aloud to each other until you both fell asleep late into the night.

But this Sunday, the exact day of your one-year anniversary with Azul, the man had asked if you could stay at home. Your homebody-self answered “yes” without hesitation.

It’s already nightfall by the time you find yourselves stuffed with dinner and cake and situated under the wooden pergola illuminated by Vil’s borrowed magic projector. Your comfortable silence is accompanied by the soothing chirping of crickets and a night sky sprinkled with the brightest stars.

“Happy anniversary, angel,” Azul says with a warm smile before bringing your hands up to press tender kisses along your knuckles.

“Angel”: it’s a hypocorism that Azul has grown fond of calling you by. When he first started to call you as such, you found it amusing because it’s a name that better suits him.

“Happy anniversary, darling,” your smile mirrors Azul’s own, a quiet giggle escaping your lips when his lips tickle your skin.

It’s a wonder that time has passed so quickly.

It felt like just yesterday you saw Azul entering the library, with not a single clue as to who he was — and now here you are, more than positive that you’re in love with the man sitting in front of you.

“I love you”: it’s a sentence that has remained unspoken between the two of you. Not because you don’t love each other, because even a jellyfish could see that you do, but because neither of you ever felt the need to verbalize those feelings.

Until now.

“Azul,” you call out, waiting until he glances up and hums in response. “I love you.”

A minute of silence follows, then two, then three, and as more time passes on, you can feel a sense of panic growing stronger in the pit of your stomach.

Had you thought wrong? Did you just jump the gun when Azul didn’t feel as strongly for you as you did for him?

“I have something for you,” Azul’s soothing voice cuts through your anxious thoughts.

You try to ignore the pang of disappointment that accompanies your panic.

He didn’t say it back.

“What is it?” you ask, your voice sounding weak.

“Close your eyes.”

You do as you’re told, keeping your eyes closed as Azul lets go of your hands. You can hear him rummaging around for something, and you have to wonder what it could be.

Your eyes only open again when Azul gives you the okay to.

Azul places what appears to be a manuscript atop your lap, and you look at him with a puzzled expression on your face as you pick the bundle of papers up, ”what is this?”

“I didn’t tell you this before because I was too embarrassed, but I decided to try writing a book of my own,” Azul chuckles, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m getting close to done. I just wanted you to see it first, even though I know you hate spoilers.”

“I absolutely do,” you declare as you roll your eyes in a playful manner.

“I know, I know, but…” Azul bites on his lower lip, his voice trailing off as he contemplates how to word his next sentence. “I’m better at writing out my feelings than I am verbally expressing it, and I’ve included it here. I’d love for you to read it first before the rest of the world.”

“I think you’re better at expressing your feelings aloud than you think you are, darling.”

You can’t deny that you feel honored to have Azul regard you highly enough to have you be the first to read his nearly completed work. Sure, you’ve spent hours proofreading essays and the like before, but this felt different.

Azul’s hands are clasped together tightly enough to make his skin appear a few shades lighter, anxiety coursing through his body as he watches you flip to the first page of the manuscript where the dedication page is. He’s not sure why he feels that way when he knows exactly how you feel about him.

Your eyes and mind slowly take in the words written on the page.

Were you suddenly hallucinating sweet words onto paper? A quick glance up at Azul tells you no.

His written feelings bring tears of happiness to the corners of your eyes, and it takes all your willpower to not throw your arms around the man and kiss him right then and there.

To my muse, my angel, my wonderful y/n, You know what people say about meeting your soulmate? It feels like you’re at home the moment you meet them. I think they’re right, because while the sight of your beautiful smile makes my heart race, you also make me feel safe and comfortable. It’s like one look from you lifts the weight of the world off my shoulders, like there’s absolutely nothing for me to worry about. Without you, I would never have experienced things and feelings that I thought were only possible in books. It’s with our fond memories in mind that I write this book. Thank you. Thank you for choosing to spend your days with me. Thank you for being a beacon of support during the times I was clouded with self-doubt and during the times I wasn’t. I love you. “Yours is the light by which my spirit’s born: you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.” - E.E. Cummings

[stillstuckin2000spunkrock]

Smitten Kitten (Lev Haiba x female!reader)

I think I’m going to post some of my old stories from a year or 2 ago. This one always stuck out to me because it was one of my more detailed stories. I believe I write this in about 4 days maybe? Anyway I know there’s not a lot of Lev Haiba fanfic out there so I thought I’d post it! Sorry if it’s terrible in advance lmao <3

The final bell rang, signaling that class was done for the day. You scooped up your books and started to pack them away in your backpack, when you felt a small tap on your shoulder. You looked up to see a guy with spiky black hair, who looked like he just rolled out of bed. You stifled a giggle at how ridiculous he looked, “Can I help you?” You calmly asked him. “You’re a second year, right?” He asked. You sighed, you got this all the time. “Yes I’m a second year, and I’m in more advanced classes for my age.” You rolled your eyes and started to leave. “Wait! I was just wondering because we have a new member on the volleyball team who’s a second year and he needs a tutor.” You turned to face him “Why are you telling ME this?” The man sighed and rubbed the back of his head “Well, if he can’t get his grades up then he’s kicked off the team, and he’s part of Nekoma’s starting lineup so....I was wondering if you could tutor him?” You thought to yourself. You could use the extra cash to save up for that cosplay you wanted...”How much will I get paid?” You asked. “He’s loaded, so probably a decent amount.” The guy shrugged. “His name?” “Lev Haiba.” He replied. “Meet me in the gymnasium after school. You can meet him then. If they question you tell them Kuroo sent you. I’m the captain of the team so that should earn you entryway into the gym.” You nodded. With that the man (now known as Kuroo) gave you a wave and walked out of the classroom.

Later that day after all your classes were finished you headed over to the gym. You felt out of place walking through the building when school was out. The closer you got to the gymnasium the louder the squeaking of the shoes became. You slowly peaked around the door. Inside was a bunch of boys playing volleyball. They must be the school’s volleyball team. You never really paid attention to the sports world at school. I mean occasionally you would hear how someone got injured, but that was about it. “Oi! Katey! We’re over hear!” You glanced over to see Kuroo yelling across the gym to you. Does he have to be so loud? You walked over to him. You could feel peoples eyes all over you. “Woah! Who’s this babe?!” Some guy with a buzz cut yelled. You ignored him and pressed on towards Kuroo. “Hey, you came! I thought you weren’t gonna show.” Kuroo said. “Well I’m here. Where’s Lev?” “LEV GET OVER HERE!” Kuroo yelled. You winced at how loud his voice projected throughout the gym. You noticed a very tall, lanky boy make his way over to you two. “Y/n, this is Lev.” Kuroo said, introducing you to each other. “Oh! You must be my tutor!” Lev said. “Umm yeah.” You replied. You were a little shaken with his height. He was practically a giant! “Oh right, I forgot to introduce myself! I’m Lev Haiba!” He blushed, extending his hand out for you to shake. You took his hand and shook it “I’m Y/n Y/L/n.” “It’s nice to meet you! So, do you think you can help me?” He seemed nice enough..a little goofy though. “Of course.” You replied, nodding your head. “Great!” Lev cheered. “Do wanna meet at my place tomorrow night?” Lev asked. “I’d have to discuss it with my parents, but I’m sure it’s alright.” “Great! Can I put my number in your phone? That way you have my address?” “Oh sure!” You said, giving him your phone. You both swapped each other’s numbers. “Well, I should let you resume practice. Bye!” You said, Turing around and waving. “Thanks again!” Kuroo replied. “Byeee Y/n!” Lev yelled. You smiled to yourself, Lev seemed sweet..

The next day after you had finished eating dinner with your family, you headed over to Lev’s house. His house was close enough that you could ride your bike and get there in 10 minutes. When you rode up to the house you thought there had been some mistake. This house was GIGANTIC! You then recalled that Monday Kuroo had said that Lev’s family was rich. “If only I had worn nicer clothes..” you mumbled to yourself, looking down at your favorite sweater with disdain. Realizing it was too late to change now, you made your way through the wrought iron gates and up the smooth cobblestone driveway. You felt a little intimidated by the large mansion looming infront of you. With a deep breath you rung the doorbell. A few moments later you could hear footsteps approaching the door. The door opened and there stood a girl who looked around 20, and was very dressed up. “Oh Lev! Your girlfriends here!” She yelled, while beckoning you inside the doorway. You blushed at her choice of words “I’m..uh..not his girlfriend.” You chuckled nervously. Before she could reply you saw Lev bounding down a set of stairs. “Oh, hey Y/n!”Lev said. He then turned to who you assumed was his sister “And she’s not my girlfriend, Y/n’s just here to help me study.” You didn’t know why but you felt your heart drop when he said that you weren’t his girlfriend, like it was merely a question of the weather. It’s not like you cared, obviously you had just met the man. But the way he almost seemed disgusted by that idea kind of stung. His sister rolled her eyes, and walked away. “Sorry about my sister..” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “Oh no, it’s fine.” You said. “So uhh nice place.” You said, surveying your surroundings. “Heh, thanks.” He blushed. “So uhh.. wanna go get started?” You asked. “Oh! Yeah right. Duh!” Lev said, playfully hitting himself on the head. “Follow me!” He said, leading you to the staircase. Wait! Were you gonna go IN his room!? He continued leading you up the rather large flight of stairs, and down a corridor till you stopped at a door at the end of the hall. “This is my room.” He said opening the door for you.

When you stepped inside Lev’s room, you noticed a lot of sports posters, books, trinkets, and a cat tower. “Do you have a cat?” You asked, nodding towards the tower. “Oh yeah! We have 4 actually, but the house is really big so they can be hard to spot sometimes.” You giggled. Lev smiled at you “You can have a seat on my bed.” He said walking over to sit on his bed. His BED!? Oooo boy... Every cliche Wattpad story you ever read racing through your mind. You cautiously took a seat at the edge of his bed, and opened up your backpack unloading your stuff on the bed. “Can you get out your last math assignment please?” You asked. Lev nodded and reached for a very crinkled sheet of paper. Oh boy. This was gonna be IMPOSSIBLE. You took the paper from him, and uncrumpled it the best you could. “Really?” You laughed, as you attempted to smooth it out on your textbook. Lev laughed and said “I know I’m not the neatest. You can probably see why I need a tutor!” Once you had finally made the paper readable again you started helping Lev. Turns out he was really bad at math. His score was horrible, he was a doodler, his notes were just chicken scratch, and he had a hard time concentrating. Somehow, you managed to get through the study session without losing your patience. When it was about 8:00 you and Lev had finished. “Do you understand it now?” You asked. “Kind of. But not really..” He awkwardly chuckled. You couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Yeah well keep practicing.” You gathered up your things, and Lev led you back downstairs to the front door. “I actually kind of enjoyed math tonight.” Lev said, smiling his goofy grin. You laughed “Well I’m glad you did!” “Hey, I have volleyball practice tomorrow, but do you think you could come over on Thursday to help me prep for the test?” You actually enjoyed yourself tonight, and you liked spending time with Lev. “Sure!” You said. “Great thanks! Bye Y/n!” He said, as you walked down the front porch steps. You turned and waved. As you made it back home safe, you saw your phone light up. It was a text message from Lev:

LEV: Goodnight, Y/n ;)

You blushed and giggled to yourself.

ME: Goodnight Lev :)

You didn’t see Lev throughout the week, so by Thursday you were excited to see him again. When you rang the doorbell Lev answered it this time. “Hi Y/n! Come on in!” You smiled and squeezed past him into the house. “How was practice yesterday?” You asked, placing your shoes on the rack. “It was alright, Kuroo wouldn’t let up on my serves though.” He said, frustratedly. You gave him a sympathetic smile “Sorry about that.” He cheered right up “It’s fine! Let’s go to my room.” You once again followed Lev up the stairway, and to his bedroom. “Oh! I have a surprise for you!” Lev said, stopping right in front of his door. “What is it..?” You asked cautiously. Lev grinned “Don’t worry it’s a good surprise!” “If you say so..” You teased. When Lev let you inside his room you didn’t notice anything peculiar or out of order. “What is it?” You asked. “Over here!” Lev said. You turned to see Lev in the corner of his room kneeling over a basket of...KITTENS!? You rushed over “Awww! Their adorable!” You gushed. “Yeah, one of my cats gave birth a week ago.” Lev explained. He then scooped a little white kitten with brown spots, and set it in your arms. “Awww!” You whispered, cradling the kitty in your arms. Lev chuckled, and rubbed the kittie’s head. “Y’know we can’t keep ‘em all..do you want one?” Lev asked nervously. “Really!?” You asked, excitement flowing throughout your body. “Yeah! If your parents say it’s cool you can pick one out now and take it home in 2 weeks!” He explained. “I’ve always wanted a cat!” You said, snuggling the little kitten closer. “I can take a picture on your phone so you can show your parents?” Lev said. “That’s a great idea! Here.” You said, handing him your phone. Lev took the picture, and you sent it to your parents, who agreed if you paid for it with your own money. “They said yes!” You cheered. Lev laughed “Alright, how about we play with them for a bit, and you can pick out which one you would like?” Lev suggested. “That’s a great idea!” 

You and Lev were having a fun time playing with the kittens. You were about to pick up a feisty orange tabby cat, when a sharp pain jolted through your leg. “Owww!” You exclaimed. “What’s wrong?!” Lev asked, all panicky. “Calm down. It’s just a scratch.” You said, setting the cat down so you could inspect your wound. Sure enough, there on your calf was a deep scratch. “Do you have any bandaids?” You asked, covering the scratch so it wouldn’t bleed all over. “Oh yeah! Follow me.” Lev said, getting up and walking towards a door on the far side of his room. He opened the door and inside was a small bathroom. All of a sudden Lev picked you up by your waist and set you on the counter, then went back to digging for bandages. He did it so casually, while your heart beat quickened a bit at his actions. “We only have actually bandage wraps..so can I..?” He trailed off. You realized that he meant that he had to wrap the bandages on for you. “Oh! Yeah, of course.” You blushed a little. Lev slowly took your leg and carefully pressed a cotton ball on the wound to weaken the blood flow. Your skin grew hot where he touched it. You let out a little hiss when he pressed a little to firmly. “Sorry, I know this stings.” He said, removing the cotton ball and picking up the bandage wrap. He cautiously started to wrap your leg up. You were surprised at how gentle he was being, after all Lev could be a little clumsy at times. When he finished wrapping the bandages around your leg, he leaned down and planted a quick kiss on your knee. Then, as if realizing what he just did, he quickly blushed and chuckled nervously saying “Sorry! Our mom did that to me and my sister when we were kids!” You cold feel your face flush about 20 different shades of red and pink. “No.. it’s okay. It was really sweet actually..” You whispered the last part. You looked up and locked eyes with Lev’s emerald ones. You both stared into each other’s eyes before you cleared your throat and said “Well, uh we should probably get some studying in!” Lev cleared his throat to “Oh yeah! Right. I wanted to show you my score on the homework today.” Lev awkwardly helped you off the countertop, and you both headed back to his bed to work.

You deadpanned when Lev showed you his “good” score on the math homework. “I wouldn’t call this good, but it’s an improvement I guess.” You laughed. Unlike yesterday, this study session was filled with awkward silences. Was it because of the almost kiss? “Hey Y/n?” Lev asked, breaking your train of thought. “Huh? Yeah?” You blushed at your awkwardness. “What do you think is a good goal for me to get on this test tomorrow?” He asked. “Hmmm...” you pondered that for a moment. “I would say at least an 85%.” Lev nodded his head in agreement. “So if I get an 85% or higher, can you come to my game Friday afternoon?” He wanted YOU to watch him play?! “I think that’s a good plan!” You smiled warmly. Lev grinned back that goofy smile that you loved. “It’s 9:30, I should be heading home.” You said, loading up your book bag. Lev helped you gather your things, and walked you downstairs. Just as you had finished saying goodbye, and were walking out the door, you turned around “Oh, and I thought about what kitten I wanted.” You smiled. Lev grinned “Which one?” “That feisty orange tabby.” You laughed. Lev chuckled “It’s a deal!” He said. Then you rode into the night, back home to your own house.

The next day you couldn’t help but hope that Lev passed his test. After lunch when you were exiting the cafeteria, you heard someone yelling your name. You turned to see a tall guy with silver hair, approaching you. It was Lev! You could tell because he was 2 feet taller then the crowd. “Hey! I passed!” Lev yelled, excitedly. “What?! No way! Let me see the paper.” You said, holding your hand out. Lev reached into his book bag and pulled out a piece of paper. You looked at it. Sure enough, there on his paper in red ink was a 89%. “Great job Lev!” You squealed, giving him a high five. He grinned from ear to ear. “So I guess that means your coming to my game, right?” Lev said, rather smugly. You snorted “Don’t get a big head.” You joked, flicking him on the forehead. “Ouch.. Y/n!” He whined. “Speaking of pain, how is your leg?” You instantly blushed remembering the kiss. “O-oh it’s better! How’s my kitty?” You asked. “That’s good news! And your kittens doing great. You should pick out a name!” Lev replied. You thought about it for a moment “Hmm.. what about Tigger!” Lev chuckled “Haha, that’s cute!” “So you like it..?” “It’s perfect.” He smiled. The bell rang. “Oh I’ve gotta get to class! My game is at 3:00 in the gym!” Lev said, rushing off. “Got it!” You called after him. You giggled to yourself at how scatter brained he could be.

At around 2:45 you entered the gymnasium. The bleachers were filled with people. Most of them wearing your school’s team colors, red and black. As you walked across the gym to an open seat, you saw Lev setting up the net. “What a great view..” you sighed contentedly, staring at his thighs. Just then he turned and caught your eye. He smiled and waved. You face grew hot, and you nervously waved back. You felt like the entire gym was staring at you as you made your way to a seat. 

The game was tied. If Nekoma could make this final score they could win! The whistle blew, Nekoma was switching a player in. But who? You peered over the person in front of you to see. It was..LEV!? You knew Lev didn’t do great under pressure, so why would they send him in? It was up to Lev to win the game for Nekoma. You found yourself cheering “I BELIEVE IN YOU LEV!” You blushed when the people sitting next to you gave you some dirty looks. Oops! You held your breath as Lev was getting ready to set. It was too much pressure even for you! You squeezed your eyes shut, and crossed your fingers. A moment later the whistle blew, and you could hear the announcer saying “The game goes to Nekoma!” You opened your eyes to see the crowd going wild, and the team high-fiving one another. Joy rushed through your veins, as you jumped off the bleachers and ran to Lev. Before you could even stop running, Lev scooped you up in his arms and spun you around. “You did it!” You squealed. “I know! I can’t believe it!” He replied. Just then Kuroo came by informing Lev that they had to get their stuff from the locker room. “Oh, sorry Y/n! I have to go. Can you maybe meet me outside in 10 minutes?” Lev asked, getting ready to run. “Yeah, of course.” You said. “Thanks!” He replied, bolting off. You wondered what he wanted to speak with you about...Honestly you were a little surprised that he had won. Lev could be clumsy and a little headstrong at times, but I guess when it matters he really pulls through. 

You were leaning against the cobblestone wall, waiting for Lev. It had been 15 minutes and he still wasn’t ready yet. Just then you heard the sounds of someone’s feet slapping on the concrete. “Hey!” Lev said, a little out of breath. “Did you run a marathon in those 15 minutes?” You asked, laughing. Lev smiled “Ha.Ha. Very funny. So uhh wanna go for a walk?” He asked nervously. What was going on? Why was he so nervous? “Sure.” You replied. You guys started walking. “So...you were amazing out there!” You said, smiling up at him. “Heh, thanks!” Lev said, blushing and rubbing the back of his neck. “Y/n..I uhh..it was because of you.” “Because of me?” You questioned, very confused. “Yeah. I was worried but when you said you believed in me..I wasn’t anymore...Y/n I like you! And I was wondering if you wanted to maybe...go to the dance with me tomorrow?!” Lev blurted out nervously. You froze. Did he just say...? “Lev..I.. I like you too. I have since I met you actually..” You blushed, looking away. “And about that dance? I would love to go.” You said, smiling back at him. “Oh great! I was scared there..” Lev ranted. You giggled, and leaned into Lev as he put his arm around your shoulders. He walked you home that night. Just when you were climbing into bed, your phone chimed. It was a message from your now BOYFRIEND Lev:

LEV❤️: Hey, thanks again. I’ll meet you outside the school tomorrow. Goodnight! Sleep well!😘

ME: Can’t wait! I love you too!💖

The next night when your parents dropped you off at the school dance, you were nervous. What if Lev had changed his mind? What if he thought your dress was ugly? Just then you felt a light tap on your shoulder. You spun around to see Lev. “Wow..you look really beautiful!” He said. “I..uhh..thanks!” You giggled. “I like your tie.” You said, nodding towards his satin tie. “Oh! Thanks!” He said. “Are you ready?” He asked, taking your hand and kissing it. Your face flushed, and you nodded. Slowly Lev led you into the gymnasium, which was now turned into a ballroom. You had a fun time talking to his friends, and doing goofy dances to silly songs. The night was almost over when a slow song started playing. Lev looked at you, and grinned. You blushed. “Y/n? Can I ask you to dance with me?” Lev asked all dramatically, getting down on one knee. You smiled “Yes you may.” With that Lev wrapped his arms around your waist, as you attempted to reach

his shoulders the best you could. “Can you reach?” Lev chuckled, mocking your height. “In all honesty, not really!” You laughed. “Guess I’ll just have to do this..” Lev said, slowly leaning down towards you. You froze. Was he gonna KISS you?! You felt his lips meet yours, and your tongues collided. They danced around, exploring each cavern to behold.  And you and Lev spent the rest of the night dancing and laughing. That night was one of the best nights of your life. Why? Because it was the first time you kissed your husband.

[callmemana]

Arms Wide Open, Catch Me If I Fall:

Chapter 5: Home In The Sky

Word Count: 3k+

Dual POV story (Birdie & Bob {please message me if the POV switch isn’t detectable and I’ll figure out a way to show that its switched between the characters})

🚨Warnings: inaccurate Naval descriptions, angst and floof. Mentions of Depression, suicide, drunkards, abuse, and religious views. Please if you suffer from depression talk to someone. I’m always here if you need an ear! 💛

A/N: dividers by @sligheach-sidhe , cover by me ( @callmemana ).

A/N 2: This is very personal to me and something that my family has gone through. I know that not very many people have the support system I had growing up and had people to talk to about the importance of mental health. It’s not something to joke about or not take seriously.

A/N 3: this is part 1 of 2, the next chapter will be a continuation. 💛 check out LP for more info on ‘Katie’!

It had been a couple of weeks and Amanda had finally settled into the Dagger Squad and San Diego and met the rest of the ‘Chaos Squad’ and the Daggers’ Aviator Mamas, Rachael Dragon Kazansky and Jade Whiskey Kerner.

Birdie met Whiskey when one day after Bird had just got home from walking Ozzy. Mickey and Baylie forgot that they had a guest and were being loud in the bedroom.

She didn’t stay long after the loud moans could be heard around the house.

So, with wanting to get away and let the newly-weds have their alonetime Bird went to the library. She was in the romance books when she literally ran into Commander Jade Whiskey Kerner.

“I’m so sorry Commander, I didn’t mean to run into you.” she rushed as she moved aside.

The older woman just laughed and they both sat down together and talked for hours until Bay called and asked where she’d gone.

Bird had gotten to know the other squad members and formed a good bond with all of them. Bo and her started to mend the relationship slowly but surely.

We were laughing and joking every once in a while and Bird started to call him Bo instead of Robert again here and there, which she could tell made his smile wider if possible.

She wanted to be able to trust him full-heartily, but he betrayed that in Lemoore and it would take work and effort on both sides to see this be mended to what it was.

Bird was willing and she could tell he was too, but how long will it last before he loses his temper or decides that he can’t go through it again.

They were on a team now and from what she’s been told, Bay and Mickey were on the Uranium mission and are better than ever, so why did he push her away?

Robert and her could be half way done with the wedding planning by now, she could’ve sent the ‘Save The Date’ cards to their families and friends and she’d have her dress already.

She’d have a dress, a wedding dress that would take his breath away and make him cry from Birdie’s beauty and her father would walk her down the aisle, tears in his eyes as he gives his only daughter to the man she loved.

Hailey and Heather would be Maid of Honor and a Bride’s Maid, standing by her side as Bo and her said their vows and exchanged rings.

Bird had this imagine in her mind since she said “Yes!” all those months ago when everything was happy and great.  

After the first week of being in the Dagger Squad and already tired of Hangman and Rooster’s constant bitching and competitiveness, Birdie went to the closest Walmart and bought a Disney Princess kids’ dress up set.

The next day, Birdie went onto base and put the tiara in her locker and as soon as either of the boys started to bitch about who was the best of the group.

She asked for them to wait as she grabbed it and hid the plastic crown behind her back as she walked back in.

When she revealed the tiara, everyone was confused, but the looks on their faces quickly turned into smiles and laughter as Bird placed it on Roos’ head and said, “You have been crowned the Bitch of the Day. As you see fit My Majesty.” and bowed.  

All the aviators, except Bob, took turns slamming their hands and fists onto the top of her helmet.

Most of them were nice, but Baylie was the most ruthless, always making sure that Birdie could feel the vibrations through the helmet.

Birdie new that once Bo got comfortable again, he’d be the nicest one, but until then, Mickey was.

Fanboy saw her as a little sister and always made sure that Bird was treated nicely when he was around.

After a month of being a guest in the Garcia’s house, seeing, learning, and hearing things that new friends shouldn’t, Birdie had put in a request for a on-base house and is currently waiting for an opening.

She had been to the Hard Deck and met Penny, Amelia, and Grace, but preferred to be called her honorary callsign; Spicy.

The girls of the Dagger Squad, Grace and Alana, and Rachael and Jade became a squad of their own, known around the base and off as the Chaos Squad.

This little grouping of chaotic women didn’t help Bird’s nonexistent relationship with Cyclone, especially after meeting with his wife, Robyn Venom Simpson.

She also had been introduced to Roos’ step-mother, Grace O’Mally Bradshaw. Both women were lovely and so much fun to be around.

Birdie didn’t want the six months to go by too quickly so she had enough time to really get to know the group and form a tight friendship with each of them.

She was going to be sad when the time period was up and she was deployed to another base, but this is what she signed up for years ago.

Bird just wanted to mend one relationship when she first arrived and now was lucky enough to walk away with more friendships than she though she would.

She also would walk away with a family. A father and mother, aunt and uncle, sisters and brothers that will always be in her life no matter what.

Even if Bo and her don't bury the hatchet, the others have told her so many times when she’d voiced her concern over the subject.

Ozzy was happier too, he had more people to love and care for him now and was loving every bit of attention that the others were giving him.

It had been more than once that Ozzy had kicked Mickey out of the bed so he could snuggle Baylie.

Bird knew when Ozzy was with Bay when Mickey is getting comfy on the couch, she’d always offer to get Oz and he could be with his wife.

He always waved her off and said that Bay’s been wanting a dog for a while and if this is keeping her mind off of one for them, he’d happily give up his bed.

We were also briefed on another upcoming mission and the team started training and had been doing good.

There was more time to complete the training this time too, which Birdie was thankful for, she’d just joined the squad.

It was crazy to think that these few weeks together had felt like a lifetime already and Bird wouldn’t change anything if it meant that she’d never met them.

Don’t get her wrong, Bird was beyond sad when Bo broke her heart, but it kinda feels worth it now.

Because without that lost, she wouldn’t have gained a family, a very chaotic family, but one none the less.

Bird felt as if she was home. Bo helped with that, he had been her home for four years prior and Bird couldn’t stop thinking as him as that.

Robert Floyd has had her heart since that day on the trail for training in bootcamp and he gave Birdie that rock after telling her that he would keep the little mushroom she had picked just for him.

Bird knows that it's stupid to say that was the moment he took her heart, over a silly little thing as a mushroom, but it was.

Bo took the little fungus and while others would’ve thrown it over their shoulders when I wasn’t looking, he kept it, and later in the recreational room, he gifted me a rock.

Even if he didn’t realize it, he spoke my love language, sentimental gifts that make no sense to anyone else but us.

I was grateful to have a friend that finally understood me and embraced my quirks.

Not that Athena didn’t, she did, but she got tired of it sometimes.

Bird doesn’t blame her though, having a neurodivergent friend can be exhausting when they have hyper-activity and can’t focus on anything and everything most days.

Bo took the randomness of me as if it was an exciting adventure and had the patience of a Saint to wait for me when it was harder to keep on tasks.

He was considerate when I said I was overwhelmed and noticed the signs when I was too scared of ruining his night by leaving early.

Bo never got upset or argued, he’d just say an excuse for us to leave and then we’re in his car and going home.

Bird’s family never really got why she had a harder time on some of the subjects at school, but after a teacher had spotted the symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD, she recomended that Birdie gets tested.

When the results came back positive and they started her on some medication to help, her grades went up and she was focusing better on tasks, but her family still sometimes treated her as before.

The family she had in San Diego though, they understood and also took the time to help her, just like they do for Mouse.

The squads watch for certain behaviors and try to soothe the others’ emotions.

Just like when Roos noticed Bird was nervous and overwhelmed before flying on her first day back at Top Gun and knew that she needed to do a pre-flight ritual.

He was there for Bird even if he didn’t know exactly what she needed.

Amanda finally found a group of friends that understand and are willing to help and she couldn’t be more thankful for them.

Not that she’d let Hangman know that she’s appreciative of him, his egos big enough.

It had been a month in San Diego when Bird got the phone call from her mother that a friend back home had died, she immediately drew back from the squad.

Baylie and Mickey saw the happy-go-lucky woman turn distant and quiet in the matter of seconds. Bird didn’t waste any time in running to her room and bursting into tears.

They had known each other since they were children. The two women were cousins, best friends, and practically inseparable. Bird had known about Hailey’s depression for years.

No one really took her seriously when she’d lay in bed for days, no energy or motivation to get up and eat and take care of herself.

But Bird did, she took the mental health of others very seriously. As did her parents, especially after what her mother experienced at eighteen.

Jackson, her grandfather, was something that the Wheeler side of the family didn’t talk about and when they did, it wasn’t a lot.

They saw him as a disgrace, for suicide is the highest Sin that one could commit in they eyes of God.

The Wheeler family might not always be the most religious but they do follow His word. From the brief stories that her mother told, Jackson was a mean alcoholic. Everyday he’d drink until he was good and drunk.

That’s how he coped with being depressed, but it was the early 80’s and not a lot of people sought out for help, they turned to drink or drugs or whatever tickled their fancy.  

Bird will never forget the day that her mother had pulled out that damned bullwhip from her Hope Chest and told all three of her children the story of it.

Then after the story was done, Kathleen Hallet took in her children’s faces and said, “If you ever feel like you’re not yourself, please tell your dad or me ok?”

All the siblings nodded their heads as Kathleen tried to make sure they understood what she was talking about. And even as the children grew, Nick and Kat reminded them and gave more encouragement to talk to them if needed.

Birdie was 8 when she was first introduced to her grandfather’s memory and every blue moon she’d learn something new.

She was 17 when she learned that Jackson was his name, had a fraternal twin brother named John, that he liked Lions, and was fortunate enough to be given his old wool jacket and a small lion figurine.

Bird was 20 when she was told that Mamaw and Papaw Wheeler owned a bar and he and his buddies would stay there and drink all day playing cards.

The Hallet siblings might not have had a maternal grandfather, but they did have a maternal great grandpa.

He was a big part of their childhood, he taught all of them life lessons and other important things as they grew.

Birdie was the closest to both her Mamaw and Grandpa Wheeler, always watching old westerns and doing puzzles with them.

It broke her heart when her Great Grandfather died at the age of 96.

The hardest part being that she was in boot camp and couldn’t be excused to attend. Bo was her biggest shoulder to cry on and stayed with her until she wasn’t grieving as much. Heather and Phillip were there for her too when Bo couldn’t.

She didn’t know if she could go through the same thing again, but this time would be different, with someone she actually knew and saw and loved and grew up together.

Hailey was someone that Bird never thought that she’d have to out-live, with her being in the Navy, her life was constantly in danger.

It was beyond hard for her to think of a world where Hailey wasn’t just one phone call away if Bird had a bad day and needed her best friend to talk to or vice versa.

She’d never hear her voice again, never feel her warmth from a hug. What if Bird forgets Hailey’s voice or laugh? What if she hears a song or smell or memory that reminds her of Hailey and starts to cry?

Bird for weeks would just do nothing but lay in her bed after work, sobbing and cuddling Ozzy until she had cried herself to sleep.

This worried Bay and Mickey, they had no idea what had happened in that phone call and started to fret over their friend’s health.

Mickey begged Bay to let him call Bob, he’d most likely be able to get her to open the door and talk, but Bay would shake her head and take Ozzy for his evening walk.

Every member of the squads came to the Garcia’s shack, talking through the wooden door as they sat on the ground.

Bay and Mickey talked to her the most, about what they did after work, how Ozzy did that day if he wasn’t in her room, and how much they miss seeing her bright and shiny smile.

What they didn’t know, was the hurt she felt in hearing them plead with her to come out. She just didn’t want to smile or do anything knowing that her best friend was gone.

Everything felt numb, lungs heavy and crushed, her friends’ voices sounded as if she was underwater. And all she wanted to do was breathe.

“Hey Angel,” he started breathlessly and searching for the right words, “I know. I got a text from your Ma, she’s worried about you. I am too, you’ve never been like this.”

There was a soft thud on the door where he put his forehead, “You’re the most happiest girl I know and I hate to see you like this. Hailey had been battling with her depression for years and I know that you did everything you could to help her, and you did, help her I mean. It might not seem like it right now, but…”

A long breath escaped his lungs, “You did what you were supposed to do, you were there for her when she needed you most and made sure she knew that you would listen to anything and everything she wanted to say.”

“Then why does it feel like I did nothing,” she whispered, voice scratchy from disuse as Bird laid her forehead against the door where she thought his was.

“Because you think you could’ve done more, could’ve saved her. Angel, babe, without you she probably would’ve lost that battle sooner than later. You showed her that you cared, that she mattered, that she had someone in her corner when it felt like no one else was.”

Birdie sniffled and took her head off of the door and for a minute or two it was completely silent.

“If I open this door, I just want you and Ozzy to come inside. I’m overwhelmed and need my boys. I’ll talk to the squads and Mama and Papa later.”

“If that's what you want Angel, I’ll go get Oz now.”

“Yes please.”

It took a few minutes for Bo to come back, but once he did, he knocked on the door with Ozzy right beside him.

“Thank you Robert.”

“For you, I’d do anything.” and a happy bark followed after by the fur baby sitting on her bed.

All the members of the squads came over and talked to her through the closed door, all except for Bob.

He didn’t think that he’d have the right to comfort her right now, but after a text message from Birdie’s mama, he quickly understood what he had to do.

“Robert, please tell us our baby is okay?” “Mana’s not doin’ so good. What happened?” “Hailey.”

That one name and Bob knew, how couldn’t he. Robert didn’t tell the others, they had other worries and commitments to attend to.

He had kept it secret for a few days before Bay had finally had enough and cornered him in the hallway. “Robert James Floyd, I know that you know what’s up with Birdie, spill.”

“I can’t, it’s personal.”

“If it’s personal, then we should know so we can help!”

“That’s not how this works ok? You can’t just demand to know what everyone’s going through when it’s not your business, so butt out Baylie.”

Bo pushed through her and continued his way to the hangers where the others were, leaving Lucky stunned and slacked jawed by the balls he showed for calling her out as she stood in the empty hallway.

Maybe it was time that the real Robert showed his face and met the squad, but he’ll save that for another day. His Birdie needs him.

He came over to the Garcia’s little cottage after work and as Hangman walked out of the hallway where Bird’s room was, Bo pushed his way to the guest room.

Robert sat on the floor in silence for a minute or two, trying to come up with a plan to talk to her before he shook his head and started.

He knew that the squads were just down the hall and could listen in anytime they wanted, and would, because Birdie was family now.

Bo kept his voice just above a whisper and forehead glued to the sturdy wood door that was between them. Every answer he gave was unclear to anyone but the two.

The conversation went on for a while before he came back into the livingroom and stopped right in front of Ozzy.  

“Hey Buddy, you miss me?” Bo chirps as he pets Ozzy’s head. Ozzy in return gives him some kisses, making Bo laugh.

“Yeah, I missed you too. Wanna go see your mama, she needs cuddles from her boys.”

Ozzy stretches as he gets up off of the couch and then jumps off and races towards Birdie’s bedroom door. Bo starts to get back up from kneeling position but is stopped by Baylie.

“She lost someone close to her, didn’t she?” Lucky had tears in her eyes at seeing her friend’s pain, just like she felt all those years ago when she lost her childhood friend Katie.

Bo didn’t answer, just nodded and before he turned into the hall, “I hope it’s okay if I stay the night. I don’t wanna leave her alone if I can.”

Bay nodded, “Stay as long as it takes to make Birdie happy again, if she needs anyone to talk to, tell her I’m here and I know her pain right now.”

Robert offered a small smile and continued to Bird’s room, once there Ozzy let out a happy bark as Bob opened the door and Oz jumped onto the bed and curled up next to his Mama’s torso.

Bo laid down next to her aswell, brushing away the new tears before they could fall. “I’ll be with you til the end of the line, Angel.”

she snuggled up to him and put her head on his chest, right above his heart so she could hear the beat and Bo ran his fingers through her knotted hair to calm her down.

Birdie’s Basket: @dragon-kazansky @mrsjaderogers @bayisdying @starlit-epiphany @gracespicybradshaw

🏷️ list: @luckyladycreator2 @interstellarloneliness

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Ok cue my memory loss moment part 5 I can’t tell if I sent this reply in or not before so if this is a dupe I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE hsvshshs but anyways

OMG EVERYONE CHEER!!! Guys the moment is finally upon us…another mira banger about to drop….

LMAOO fwtkac was the gateway…once you start you can’t stop its just how the Karasu rabbit hole works! Bro hollyhock is actually so good…I can’t even put it into words properly but just the whole setting giving a new depth to a diff side of otoyas characters ugh so good

True!!! I’m ngl I’m a little surprised that for marketing sake they didn’t try to throw in some like popular character bait…maybe it’s because most of the actually popular bllkers are already out and as opposed to merch I guess book sales would be a bit diff? Like fans would buy to read even if their absolute faves aren’t in but yeah…the stories were fire though LMAO new appreciation for Barou fr

And IM ON IT o7 very happy to serve the miraverse and honestly it’s good for me too because if I wanna reference something quickly I can just go command f it or if I wanna read something fast I can just read my tl LMAO I also just like having my own TL/interpretations written down just for my reference too…which is part of the reason why I also ended up TLing Hioris too even though there was a TL already out! I remember reading the TLd version that got posted and some wording kinda threw me off so I was like let me just look at this myself…LOL Also I’m kinda a lore nerd so I wanna make sure I get to see any intricacies or in between the line messages that can get lost in translation! So yeah TLDR I will most definitely be here for tabieita LNs!!!

IM CRYING they’re gonna have to scroll through our manifestations and convos just to get to the chapter like imagine the link gets passed around and the first thing people read is us screaming about mariokart in yuki’s novel or anri getting done dirty (I clicked on the links just to see what they’d have to go through and oh my god chapter 2 LMFAOOO there’s like a whole minute of scrolling worth of convo before you even reach the LN part it’s so funny)

We’re truly just built different sorry this is exclusive content gatekept by the insanely long convos we have

-Karasu anon

HAHAH this time you did in fact send this in already 😭 but it’s okay i will delete the copy!! but no worries 😋

FINISHED ROUND ONE OF PROOFREADING!! heading to monaco for my mother’s birthday dinner soon hehe but once i’m back tn i will get on round two and hopefully i’ll be able to post it by tmrw!! lowkey idk how i feel about it but at least it’ll be out in the world after i’ve been talking abt it sm 😭

you came to my inbox and showed me the ways of karasuism and i’ve never looked back since 🙏🏻 jkjk but fr though i love writing him sm now he’s so good at the one sided pining thing which i loveee in a male lead 🤩 like YESSS be absolutely sick over this girl who doesn’t even know she likes you yet YESSS 🤤💖

hollyhock otoya is so fun i love him and i cannot WAIT to write more of him and y/n…idk if you’ve heard that one tik tok sound that’s like “you belong with me” from taylor swift and then it transitions into “you belong to me” from house of balloons / glass table girls from the weeknd but that’s literally hollyhock y/n + karasu’s dynamic vs her dynamic with otoya 😭😭😭 like with karasu it’s all sweet innocent besties (they are platonic soulmates coded eventually like they end up loving each other SOO MUCH but not romantically??) vs with otoya she’s literally like “i want you to belong to me” (exact quote from chapter 2: “you wanted this ninja to belong to you”) FHDKSJSJ man atp free otoya 😰🙏🏻 but he matches y/n’s freak so well he probably doesn’t even WANT to be freed

i feel like the people who would buy light novels would buy them no matter what + they probably thought barou would be popular enough to carry it?? who knows…agreed though the stories were all rlly good (well aryu’s was a little goofy but wtvr)

LMAOOO THAT’S WHAT I WAS THINKING people will be like “why are they freaking out over mario kart??” FJSJDJS but ykw if you want to read you have to go through the trials and tribulations of our massive convos 🤩 we are elite though…carrying the bllk fandom with our translations + fics 😋

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

I ║ Palomino

Jack Daniels x f!reader

 { Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Part 2: Buckskin }

Rating: M (will be E in future chapters)

Summary: Unable to get a refund for a week-long horse-riding pack trip you'd booked with your ex, you decide to go solo. As it turns out, a rebound with a cowboy named Jack while traversing the wild landscapes of Wyoming might just be what you need.

Warnings: Extremely self-indulgent solo travel romance, flirting, yearning, language, matchmaking themes, lots of horsey details, mention of breakup, no use of Y/N

Word count: 6.5k

Notes: This story encompasses a lot of firsts for me - first new series since Consent, first time writing Jack, first time writing something so action-heavy and close to my heart. While I'm not 100% confident I got everything right, I am so excited about this fic. I hope you're ready for the ride (I apologise in advance for all the horsey puns incoming)!

I want to call out (affectionate) LJ @prolix-yuy for lighting a fire under my ass for cowboy Jack with her incredible Westworld AU Cognitive Dissonance. I also need to thank Ani @deadhumourist for the idea of a company retreat that I used in this chapter, and for sharing with us her amazing Jack fic Under Marula Trees. And of course, Ash @mandoblowmybackout for enduring my almost non-stop screeching about Jack ❤️

More notes in the Series Masterlist on horses and travel, etc!

Palomino: a pale golden or tan-coloured horse or pony with a white mane and tail, originally bred in the south-western US.

The door creaks long and loud on its hinges as it opens, barely letting through a bustling figure before slamming shut so hard it rattles on its heavy oak frame.

At the long-suffering frown sent his way from across the reception desk, Champ holds his hands up in apology and tip-toes in exaggerated fashion to his desk. Ginger shakes her head fondly - being quiet is not one of her employer’s strong suits.

She presently returns to the phone call she’s in the middle of, using her most placating tone on this customer. ‘Look, we have regulars coming in the same week as you. They come every year for a company retreat, and they are just the loveliest people you can meet. I promise you’ll have a great time.’

The vintage Chesterfield groans under his weight as Champ settles down, and with a practised flick of his wrist, his cowboy hat lands on its designated hook on the wall. He turns to the ledgers Harry left on his desk two days ago - he can’t keep putting them off much longer…

His mind quickly wanders. He’s a people person, and he’s always been more interested in the dude ranch holiday part of the business. However, Ginger is so good at her job that she’s made him redundant, banishing him to the whiskey distillery side of things. 

It doesn’t stop him from keeping half an ear on the ongoing phone conversation though.

‘I’m so sorry, ma’am, it’s not our policy to offer refunds. But I promise you’ll have the best birthday with us on the trip.’

Champ steeples his fingers and leans back in his chair. Ah, a customer wanting to cancel. Always tricky.

‘Tell you what - since you’ve already paid a 40% deposit for two guests, why don’t I waive the 20% balance for your holiday for one party?’

Champ arches a grey eyebrow in curiosity.

‘Alright, perfect,’ chirps Ginger brightly. ‘We look forward to seeing you in a few weeks. Bye now.’

‘What was that about?’ he asks as soon as she hangs up.

Bringing up the reservations system on her computer, she types busily as she replies, ‘A guest booked a holiday with her boyfriend, but they broke up, and she wanted a refund for both their places. I convinced her to come alone instead with the discount. She’s here the same week as the Kingsman so she definitely won’t be lonely.’

Champ gives her a double thumbs up. ‘Nicely done, Ginger. And did you say it’s her birthday while she’s here?’

‘Yes. Don’t worry, I’ll give Poppy a heads up to bake a cake in advance.’

‘Do you have a photo of her?’

Ginger’s fingers pause and hover over the keyboard, a warning in her voice. ‘Champ.’

He blinks innocently. ‘What? I’m a nosy bastard.’

With a sigh, she pulls up a Whatsapp profile picture and holds up the phone to him.

He puts on his reading glasses to look at the screen, and proceeds to nod thoughtfully. Finally, they haven’t had any single guests at the ranch for months on end. Surely, she’s his type…

‘Champ?’ Ginger’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts. ‘Stop meddling!’

He feigns ignorance. ‘Whatever do you mean, ma’am?’

She rolls her eyes affectionately. ‘He’s a big boy, he doesn’t need your help.’

Champ barks in laughter. ‘Like hell he doesn’t. Call the Kingsman and reschedule them, Ginger. I have a plan.’

You’ve never travelled on your own before.

Now that you’re speeding down the empty country roads towards the Bighorn Mountains - windows down, dust flying, radio blaring - you honestly don’t know why you waited so long.

You’re glad that the woman at the Statesman stood firm when you called a month and a half ago, asking for a refund. The discount sweetens the deal too.

To be honest, the week-long dude ranch trip you booked months ago had completely slipped your mind in the aftermath of the breakup. There were more pressing matters, like - what were you going to do with the house you bought and remodelled together?

You’d just finished tiling the backsplash with the vintage Italian mosaic you found at a flea market when you were informed that he didn’t feel the same way about you anymore. In fact, he hadn’t for some time.

You were only reminded of the trip when you started clearing your stuff out of the attic, finally having found an apartment you could afford on your own that is also not a shithole. You found the riding gear that you’d stashed away, gathering dust since you two started dating.

You should be thankful that at least there’s no costly wedding venue deposit to forgo or a pet custody battle to muddle through. He’s always hated animals - you really should’ve known. 

But you can’t bring yourself to not be bitter about everything. Not yet.

Maybe it’s a good thing that you’re going on this trip. That lazy bastard can start pulling his weight and sort out the house viewings for potential buyers for this week. He’s been dragging his feet - just because he can afford to pay both the mortgage and rent at his new bachelor pad doesn’t mean you can too.

You shake yourself out of it and crank up the stereo. Fuck it. You’re not thinking about him or the house or anything this weekend. It’s your solo birthday getaway and you’re gonna enjoy the fuck out of it.

And who knows? If you’re lucky, you could be rebounding with a handsome cowboy, like one of those awful Unicorn Club novels you used to read over and over again when you were fifteen.

You laugh, the pull of the muscles in your cheeks unfamiliar after weeks of disuse. A girl can dream.

You switch off the ignition, hands gripping the driving wheel tightly, and you take a moment to compose yourself. 

‘You can do this,’ you murmur, giving yourself a reaffirming nod in the rear view mirror.

Hopping off your rental truck, you shut the door behind you and start towards the only building you can see, a rustic lodge with a red roof. Statesman is blazened in iron letters, nailed proudly above a wraparound porch with welcoming rocking chairs and armchairs scattered about.

The gravel beneath your sneakers crunches loudly. You can hear in the distance sounds that you haven’t heard for a long time - clip clop of hooves, the drag of a barn door on rusty hinges, the low whinny of horses. You breathe in the mountain air scented with a whiff of sweet hay. Things that were familiar once upon a time. Your chest constricts at something blooming between your ribs, and a small smile lifts the corner of your lips.

There’s a bark out of the blue, and a border collie comes zipping towards you, wagging his tail so hard that his whole bottom wriggles from side to side. You coo excitedly and crouch down to give him a cuddle when a man with grey hair emerges from the lodge. It’s a warm day, but he’s wearing a suit with a cowboy hat.

In a booming voice, he calls your name in greeting and makes his way over to you. ‘We’ve been expecting you, young lady! The name’s Champ. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.’

You stand and shake his proffered hand with a smile. ‘Nice to meet you, Champ. It’s good to be here.’ You gesture to the empty parking lot. ‘Am I early or something?’

‘You’re our only guest this week, actually,’ he replies in a thick Southern accent.

You scratch the back of your neck, taken by surprise. ‘Umm, but the lady I spoke to on the phone - she said that there are regulars joining? A company retreat or something?’

‘Sadly, they rescheduled. It’s just you, my dear. You’re our VIP!’ he grins and claps you on the shoulder. ‘Come! Walk with me. I’ll have someone take your bags to your room. You can leave the keys in the car, it’s safe - but you keep any food to yourself or Jameson here will run away with it!’

The border collie barks at his name and Champ scratches him behind the ear, dispatching him with a wave of his hands.

Your host starts at a brisk walk. ‘So, how was your journey, young lady?’

You have to power walk to keep up with him as the gravel fades into firm sand. ‘Long, but glad to be here. I’ve been really looking forward to getting away.’

‘First time travelling alone, I assume?’ Champ smiles at you kindly.

You nod sheepishly. ‘I’m a bit nervous, to be honest.’

He laughs. ‘You’re entitled to nerves, but I promise you, you’ll forget all about that in three, two, one -’

Right on cue, you round the back of the lodge and you can’t help the gasp that slips out as you stumble to a stop.

The full landscape of the ranch comes into view beneath your feet. A picturesque river cuts through the green sweep of land, small lodges with matching red roofs are dotted all over one side of the bank, and bigger barn-like structures stand on the other. The Bighorn Mountains tower over the entirety of the property. You see horses grazing in a huge, fenced field, tails flicking lazily at flies.

Champ practically glows at your reaction. ‘It’s taken thirty years to get to where we are. I hope it will stand for many more decades to come.’

‘It’s - stunning,’ you say rather inadequately.

Champ winks at you. ‘Wait till you go into the mountains, my dear. Come along, now.’

You resume walking side by side, and he continues, ‘Now, since you’re our only guest this week, I can give you two options for your trip. We can do day-long rides with you, and you spend the nights here at the ranch. It’s more comfortable, but it does mean that you don’t get to go as deep into the mountains.’

Champ stops to take a breath. ‘Alternatively, you can go on a week-long pack ride with our cowboy and camp along the way, just the two of you. It's a magnificent journey, I can promise you.’

It’s a lot of information to take in so quickly, and you hesitate. ‘Um - ’

He holds up a hand at you and pauses abruptly, something catching his eye. ‘Ah, speak of the devil. Before you decide, you need to meet our cowboy. He'll be your guide for the week.’

You’re craning your neck to catch a glimpse when Champ bellows so loudly that you nearly have to take cover. ‘JACK! Son! Say hello to our guest for this week before you take the horses to pasture.’

Your ears still ringing, the silhouette of a man on horseback comes into view halfway across the yard. The dust seems to magically settle and part, and a handsome face framed by a cowboy hat, a tidy moustache and a wicked sharp jawline comes into focus.

‘Whoa.’

You belatedly realise that you said that out loud when Champ wriggles his eyebrows at you.

‘Howdy, ma’am,’ the cowboy calls back, tipping his hat politely. His voice rings brightly in the space between you, but the delicious lick of his Southern drawl makes goosebumps chase across your skin. You manage a weak smile and a wave, not trusting your power of speech at the moment.

‘Be back at four to take the lovely lady on her orientation ride, alright?’

Jack gives him a two-fingered salute. ‘Got it, boss. See you soon, ma’am.’

You watch unashamedly as the cowboy smoothly steers his horse around, and with a whistle, the dozen or so horses follow suit as he canters out of view.

‘So? What say you?’ Champ interrupts your thoughts with an expectant look.

You can’t help the stupid grin that breaks upon your face. ‘The pack trip sounds good.’

Champ claps his hands together so loudly that you jump. ‘Your wish is my command, ma’am. Or rather - Jack’s.' He winks. ‘He’ll pick out a horse for you and take you for a short ride to make sure you’re comfortable before the trip starts tomorrow. Sounds good?’

‘Perfect.’

Stopping outside one of the lodges near the river, Champ sweeps his arm in a flourish. ‘There we go, this is your lovely room for tonight, with the best views of the mountains. Poppy’s left some lemonade and sandwiches inside if you need a pick-me-up, and your bags will be with you shortly. Just make sure you’re ready by four. Got it?’ 

He holds up a hand to you, and you give him a high five. ‘Got it, Champ.’

‘Welcome to the Statesman, my dear.’ 

Watching you bound up the stairs with a spring in your step, Champ gives himself an imaginary pat on the shoulder. Well done, old chap. The plan is in motion.

You lay your outfits on the large bed as you chew on a delicious sandwich, weighing the options for your afternoon ride. You packed according to the list the ranch sent in your orientation email, but you wish you’d brought something nicer. They really should’ve included a hot cowboy warning.

You wanted to spend some time on the porch and enjoy the magnificent views of the mountains from your doorstep before the ride, but by the time you’re finally happy with your choice of clothes, you’re startled by rapping on the door.

Sucking in a steadying breath and smoothing back your hair, you turn the knob.

Fuck me sideways. This man is devastatingly good-looking on close inspection.

‘Hi, again,’ you smile, hoping your words didn’t come out as squeaky as it sounded in your head.

The cowboy returns your smile with teeth and tips his hat at you - black suede with a leather band - then offers you his hand. ‘Jack Daniels. Pleasure to meet you properly, ma’am.’

You give him your name and your hand. His grip is firm and assured, the slide of his palm against yours feels weathered and rope-worn. You cross your arms self-consciously, but the words that come out are bolder than you feel. ‘So, Champ says you’re my own personal cowboy for the week?’

He chuckles and plays along, giving you a small bow. ‘I’m at your beck and call, darlin’.’

His rich voice curls around every syllable, dipping and climbing with each inflection, but the languid cadence doesn’t waver. You decide here and then that this man can call you darlin' any time he wants.

He hooks one thumb through a belt loop, leaning his shoulder against the door frame. He runs his eyes up and down your body, both professionally assessing and not, lingering on your breeches, riding boots and half chaps. He arches an eyebrow at you and says in a playful tone, ‘So, I see you’re one of those fancy English riders.’

You gesture at the flannel shirt you’re wearing, the ends tied in a knot to give it a cropped fit. You think you look cute - hopefully. You choose to crack a joke, ‘Give me some credit, cowboy, I’m trying to fit in.’

He holds his hands up in surrender, pushing himself off the door. ‘My apologies, darlin’, where are my manners? The illusion is perfect. You ready to go?’

You grab your riding hat. ‘Absolutely.’

Jack takes one look at your helmet and tuts, plucking it from your fingers. ‘Oh no, that won’t do. That is one thing I don't allow on my rides. We’ll find you a real hat.’

It’s a short walk to the stables. You hang back with all the subtlety you can muster to quietly study the cowboy you’ll be sharing close quarters with for the next week. His walk is deliberate, he almost prowls, narrow hips undulating with the rhythm of his strut. When he reaches up to adjust his hat, his shirt strains over his broad shoulders, sleeves rolled up in the afternoon heat. Your eyes are about to dip a lot lower when he turns back to look at you, and you duck your head like you’ve been caught with your finger in the pie.

Are you imagining the touch of self-satisfaction that’s crept into his warm eyes?

‘So, how long have you been riding?’ he slows down so you can catch up with him. You’re relieved he doesn’t call you out on your very obvious appraisal of him.

You shrug. ‘Since I was a kid, but I haven’t been on a horse since - ’ You pause to rearrange your words. ‘- for almost five years. And I’ve always ridden the English way, so I don’t know how well I’ll do with Western riding.’

He brushes away your concern. ‘Western is easy, it’ll be a piece of cake for you, I’m sure.’

The stables are large and airy with rustic beams framing a vaulted ceiling. Utility barns are clustered outside in close vicinity, but all is still in the mid-afternoon hour. Your footsteps echo as you make your way down the concrete corridor, Jack’s sturdy cowboy boots treading heavier and louder than your riding boots. Large and tidy stalls line either side, some empty and some occupied.

‘The horses spend most of the summer outdoors,’ explains Jack. Stopping in front of a huge chalkboard nailed to the wall, he gestures at the daily schedule listed next to each name, written in a neat hand. ‘We keep them on a weekly roster to make sure their workload is evenly distributed.’

Resuming your slow course deeper into the stables, Jack asks conversationally, ‘What are you looking for in your horse for the week?’

It’s a broad question that you don’t quite know how to answer. You purse your lips. ‘To be honest? I don’t know, it’s been a while.’

‘Ok. Let’s put it this way - what’s important to you?’ He ticks off the options with his fingers. ‘Character? Temperament? Speed? Stamina?’

Is it just you or did his voice dip an octave on that last word?

Flustered, you struggle to come up with a reply. ‘Um - ’

Seeing that you’re overwhelmed, he wipes the slate clean with a wave of his hand. ‘I apologise, I didn’t express myself well.’ He changes tact. ‘Why don’t you tell me about your favourite horse?’

That you can do. You think about the last horse you really loved, before you met your ex, casting your mind back to long weekend afternoons at the local stables. The answer comes easily to you as your eyes fall to the tips of your black boots.

‘I like a horse that's forward-going but responsive to contact, and on the hot-blooded side with a bit of an attitude - I like a challenge.’ Feeling his eyes on you, you lift your gaze to his apologetically. ‘Sorry, was that way too vague or way too specific?’

‘Not at all. I appreciate a lady who knows what she wants,’ he reassures you, seemingly pleased at what he’s hearing. ‘I got just the horse for you.’

You must be in the middle of the stables structure now, when Jack makes a sharp right turn into a spacious room. Your eyes widen at the rows and rows of beautifully polished Western saddles, bridles and an assortment of other tack, some of which you don’t even recognise. Eyeing the signs above each saddle, you remark, ‘I see there’s a recurring theme in the names.’

Jack hoists a gorgeously embossed tan saddle off its rack on the wall, holding it against his side as if it weighs nothing, then grabs the bridle next to it and a saddle pad. ‘What do you expect from a ranch that also runs a distillery?’

Your eyebrows shoot up. ‘A distillery?’

‘Whiskey,’ he replies, making his way to the exit. ‘I’ll show you when we ride up the mountain, it’s on the other side of the ranch. Champ spends most of his time in the distillery nowadays.’

‘Can I help with anything?’ you ask, your hands feeling very empty as you trail behind him.

‘Not a chance, darlin’, you’re the guest. But you can watch if you want,’ he adds mischievously.

Lord have mercy. This man has gotten you more wound up in the last fifteen minutes with a few cheeky words than anyone has in a long time. Pull yourself together, woman.

You pass at least another dozen stalls - this is easiest the biggest stables you’ve ever seen - before Jack’s long strides ease, and at his whistle, the handsome face of a palomino pops up from behind a door. He nickers and nudges the cowboy familiarly on his arm, ears pricking up in alert when you come into view behind him.

‘Meet Scotch,’ Jack says in introduction, giving him a firm pat on the neck. With an easy swing, he rests the saddle on the top of the door and unlatches it, leaving it ajar for you to shuffle in behind him.

‘Hello, gorgeous,’ you can’t help but coo, running your palm from his forehead - painted with a fetching white star - to his grey, velvety muzzle. ‘He’s sweet.’

‘Wait till you get him on the open road - he’s a speed demon.’ 

You must have let your nerves show, because Jack reassures you, ‘But only if you want him to be. He’s just as happy going steady.’

You lean against the wall as Jack makes quick work of tacking up. You admire the gentle way he fits the bridle over Scotch’s head and the bit in his mouth. Reaching out, you help untuck his white mane from the browband, etched with pretty flowery patterns, and brush out the tangles with your fingers as Jack fastens the clasps.

You can’t help but catch your bottom lip with your teeth when, with a soft grunt, the cowboy lifts the saddle over Scotch’s back. His shirt, tucked neatly into his jeans, stretches taut and you eye the hint of a soft belly underneath. It rests above an almost obnoxiously large belt buckle in the shape of - are you shitting me - a flask with Statesman spelled out in capital letters.

You quickly look away before you’re consumed by the want to reach out and check if it’s a real flask.

The Western saddle has far more bits and bobs than you’re used to, but you’re too far gone to pay attention to what Jack is doing with his nimble fingers anymore.

‘There.’ He straightens, dusts off his hands and places them on his hips, one dark eyebrow up. ‘I hope you were paying attention, ma’am, I might quiz you later.’

Oh shit. You stammer, ‘Um, I mean, you were quite quick -’

Jack crosses his arms and smirks. ‘I’m pullin’ your leg, darlin’. You’re so easy to rile up.’

Before you can restrain yourself, you take a step forward and give him a playful shove in rebuke. The joke’s on you though - the pectoral muscle underneath your palm is lean and hard, and your push makes no impact at all.

‘Employee of the year, ladies and gentlemen,’ you jest, retracting your hand reluctantly.

He leans in close and gives you an almost insolent smirk, voice dropping intimately. ‘Stop distracting me, darlin’, or we’ll never make it out of this stall.’

Fuck’s sake - your cheeks literally flame. You’re about as subtle as a bucking bronco.

Taking mercy on you, Jack herds you out of the stall with no further teasing, and Scotch follows obediently behind. You’ve barely scraped your brains back together when he stops by a doorway at the end of the stables, holding up a hand that brings the gelding to a smart square halt.

‘Stay,’ orders Jack in a stern voice as if Scotch was just a very large golden retriever - he has the colouring after all. He then nods at you. ‘Come on in, darlin’.’

Stepping into the small room, you gasp in delight - every conceivable surface is covered with cowboy hats of all colours and materials.

‘Let’s see what your size is,’ Jack mumbles to himself as he plucks some options off the wall. There’s no mirror, and you hold your breath when he steps into your space, putting one hat after the other on you as he narrows down the sizing. His face is set seriously, the bow of his upper lip drawn downward, brow wrinkled in concentration.

Eventually, you run out of oxygen and you breathe him in - summer grass, leather and smoke. Your tongue darts out and wets your suddenly dry lips.

In the minutest of glances, you catch his eyes flickering to your mouth for just a second. If you weren’t looking for it, you wouldn’t have spotted the fleeting stutter in his movements as he fits you with a cream suede hat with a brown leather braid. It sits snugly on your head without any pinch.

‘Try tipping your head forward and back,’ he instructs you, breaking the quiet tension. The hat doesn’t slip, and with a tap on the brim and a smile, he declares, ‘I think we’re good to go.’

Stepping into the open air, the bright afternoon sun makes you wince, and you pull your new hat a bit lower to shield from the light. You follow Jack across the yard, heading towards a chestnut with white stockings, fully tacked and waiting at a wooden post. Ruffling his thick mane, Jack says proudly, ‘Darlin’, meet my horse, Whiskey.’

‘How very fitting,’ you remark, smoothing a hand on his strong neck. ‘Hi, Whiskey.’

Scotch, who has been following you two dutifully, bumps noses with his friend in greeting. Reaching for his reins, Jack looks at you with a question in his eyes - all the tacking up, prepping and joking around is done. Suddenly, the likelihood of falling off your horse and flat on your bum in front of the cowboy seems extraordinarily high. Maybe you really didn’t think this through -

‘Hey,’ Jack cuts short your thoughts, chucking you gently under the chin. ‘Don’t be nervous. It’s all muscle memory - like riding a bike, you can’t forget. You do know how to ride a bike, don't you?’

Your shoulders quake with a laugh at his attempt to lighten the mood.

He tilts his head at you. ‘May I give you a leg up, darlin'?’

At your silent nod, Jack brings Scotch around, and you hope he doesn't see you wipe your sweaty palms on your breeches. One hand on the saddle horn, the other on the cantle you bend your left calf up and back by the hinge of your knee. 

Jack steps in right behind your heels, his frame dwarfing you even as he leans down at the ready. One strong hand closes around your ankle and the other just below your kneecap. His voice is deep and brushes against the shell of your ear. ‘On three, darlin’.’

He hoists you up so easily that you nearly go all the way over the other side of the saddle, but you grasp the horn just in time and land squarely in the seat, albeit a bit clumsily. You can’t help but wonder what else he can do with his easy strength - a whole lot of other things, you reckon -

Scotch shifts underneath you as he adjusts to your weight. The basic instincts of being on horseback kick in slowly but surely. You gather the reins in your non-dominant hand, put the tip of your toes through the stirrup irons, push your heels down and sit up tall. You inhale deeply and smile at Jack, who’s checking the tightness of the girth and the length of your stirrups.

‘All good?’ he asks you.

‘Yes,’ you reply, relieved that you feel less like a fish out of water than you’d feared.

Jack unties Whiskey from the post. Slotting his foot in the left stirrup, he effortlessly pushes off the ground and swings his leg over the saddle, settling gently into his seat. It’s really not fair that he’s able to do it so easily in jeans that tight.

Whiskey starts leading the way towards the back of the property and Scotch follows, obviously not pleased to be left behind. Jack holds Whiskey back so that you’re walking alongside him. ‘You’ve seen people ride Western?’ 

‘I get the general idea. Reins in my non-dominant hand. Leg aids are similar.’

‘If you want to turn to the right?’

‘Reins to the right and shift my weight the same way,’ you reply, recalling the research you did before the trip.

Jack nods approvingly. ‘Sounds like you’ve got it sorted, darlin’.’

Going up a gently sloping path, the ranch disappears behind you as you begin to climb above the property, and the landscape dramatically opens up. Your breath catches at the sight of the rolling plains that stretch too far for your eyes to see, towards the Bighorn Mountains. Scotch’s ears prick up in excitement at the space, nickering and chomping at the bit. You keep your contact on the reins light even as he prances underneath you, mindful not to pull on his mouth.

Jack smiles, and you hope you're making a good impression. ‘Wanna warm up with a little lope?’

‘Lope? You mean a canter?’ you retort jokingly.

He chuckles at your cheek. ‘Alright, ma’am, look at you with your fancy words.’

With a stern finger pointed his way, you warn him, ‘You’re not allowed to laugh if I fall off, deal?’

‘I know you won’t, but for your peace of mind, I’ll cross my heart,’ he jokes and traces the motion over his chest with his thumb. ‘After you, darlin’.’

With the lightest nudge of your heels, Scotch steps straight into a smooth canter. The sudden movement jolts you forward in the saddle and out of balance, but you quickly adjust, and your hips begin to follow the flow of the familiar four-beat motion. The wind sings in your ears over the steady rhythm of hooves hitting the earth, the mountainscape blurring into green and blue.

Jack is keeping pace next to you from a safe distance, meeting your eyes when you send the biggest grin his way.

For the first time in months, you feel joy.

The sun sets on a mild evening, so you agree to an al fresco dinner by the fire when Jack poses the question to you on your return from the afternoon ride. 

After a quick shower and changing into casual jeans and a sweater, you meet the rest of close-knit Statesman team at the dinner table, and Champ explains the logistics of the pack trip to you.

‘Since it’s just the two of you, you’ll only need one packhorse. You’ll sleep outside for the first two nights, then on the third, you’ll get to the Halfway House.’

The peculiar name piques your interest. ‘Halfway House?’

Champ chuckles. ‘Halfway as in halfway through the trip. We’ll drive out to stock up the house, bring you fresh clothes and anything you’d need for the second half of the trip back to the ranch. We’ll also collect your dirty clothes and have them laundered by the time you’re back. So make sure you pack two bags, we’ll sort them out tomorrow.’

Turning to Poppy, he starts discussing the provisions for the trip, and you take the chance to shuffle closer to Ginger. Jack is at the far end of the table, deep in conversation with a man introduced to you as Tequila (you didn’t ask), so you’re sure he can’t overhear you. You clear your throat. ‘So, I was wondering what the… lavatory arrangements are like out there?’

She gives you a encouraging smile. ‘It’s all au naturale, I’m afraid. But there are plenty of bushes so privacy won’t be an issue. We bring a portable shower for guests for the days you camp out, and there’s running water and electricity at the Halfway House. But at this time of the year, Jack usually just washes off in the river.’

Your jaw drops at that revelation, and before you can close your big mouth, you babble, ‘Wow… um, by wow I meant… bathing in the river must be… cold?’

Ginger gives you a knowing grin and clinks your glass. ‘I think you’ll have a great time on this trip, honey.’

It’s early, as the first day of a pack trip always is. The chill from daybreak still clings to the thin mountain air, but the glare of the sun is already strong, even from behind his sunglasses.

Jack runs through his usual checklists. Vetting the horses, triple checking the tack, bedding, food, supplies, first aid kit. He’s collected your bag from your doorstep and loaded it on the packhorse. You pack light, which he appreciates.

He spotted you at the breakfast table earlier, almost done with your toast, when he crossed the yard with the horses, so he reckons you’re on track to make a punctual start. With the heat forecast, he wants to make it to the cover of the forest path before midday. If you make good time, a sunset dip in the lake is on the cards.

As he double checks if all the straps on the saddle bags are properly buckled up, his routine is disrupted by a firm pat on his back.

Champ is a bundle of energy even at this early hour of the day, his suit on just the right side of presentable despite the wrinkles. ‘Have a good trip, son, and make sure you show our guest a good time. I like this one.’

‘You like everyone, Champ,’ retorts Jack, but there’s no real bite in his words. ‘Not sure it counts for much.’

‘I got a good feeling about her, I’m telling you.’ 

The younger man sighs, one hand on the rump of the packhorse and one on his hip as he braces himself for the usual spiel. ‘C’mon, boss - ’

‘You’re young, you’re single! If you insist on hiding away on this ranch in the middle of nowhere, you might as well at least try to have a good time when the opportunity presents itself.’

‘Why don’t you bother Ginger about it? She’s young and single too,’ grumbles Jack as he resumes his checks.

‘Because I know she can take care of herself. But you?’ Champ makes a face.

‘Thanks for the vote of confidence, boss,’ he grumbles. ‘Just so we’re clear, I’m not hiding from anything. I actually like this job, but half the time I think you’re just trying to get rid of me.’

Spotting you over Jack’s shoulder, Champ gives him one last clasp on the arm. He leans in and says in a low voice, eyes sincere. ‘You don’t have to punish yourself forever, son. Live a little.’

Jack shakes his head as Champ moves away and calls out to you, his boisterous voice carrying even further in the cold air. He knows Champ means well. It’s not the first time he’s tried to set him up with someone, and he can confidently wager it won’t be the last. 

He knows for a fact that his boss rescheduled the Kingsman’s annual trip to engineer this one-on-one pack trip - they’ve been coming to the ranch the same time every year without fail since he started this job. He has no doubt they were more than delighted to be in cahoots with Champ in a scheme like this. 

Jack huffs a dry laugh to himself. He must be coming off as really fucking sad for Champ to go to such lengths this time. 

He straightens his well-worn denim jacket as you approach, looking almost shy this morning. You’re wearing a light fleece over what appears to be the same outfit from yesterday, hands tucked into pockets, hat dangling from the chin strap looped around your wrist.

He gives you a smile. ‘Mornin’, darlin’. Sleep well?’

‘Morning. Probably not as well I should have, considering we’ll be sleeping on the hard ground for the next couple of nights,’ you answer with a yawn, leaning on the post where the horses are waiting. You rub their noses affectionately. ‘Morning boys, how are we this fine morning?’

Jack gestures at the third horse. ‘This is Bourbon, our packhorse.’

‘Hey Bourbon.’ You give the pinto a firm pat, smoothing out his matted forelock.

‘You ready?’ asks Jack.

You put on your hat and nod determinedly. ‘Now or never.’

‘It’s not too late to back out, you know, ’ he jokes as you both start untying your horses from the post.

‘Oh no, you’re not getting rid of me now, cowboy,’ you quip.

When you’re both mounted, Champ and Ginger make an appearance, waving and beaming from ear to ear as you ride by. Champ grins, ‘Have fun, we’ll see you in a week! Don't come back unless you have plenty of stories to tell!’

You retrace the same path you took yesterday, up the back of the ranch and into the mountains. As the orange sun crests the top of the Bighorn, it dawns on Jack that he hasn’t spent any amount of time alone with another person for a long while, let alone seven continuous days with someone like you. 

He shakes his head. You’re a guest, that’s all. One who hasn't lost your gentle hands and soft seat despite not having spent any time in the saddle for years; who is quick on your feet yet easy to fluster; who laughs at his jokes and poorly concealed innuendos - but a guest. It’s his job to keep you safe this week, and he’s good at it. He’s done this for years and years.

Sometimes, he thinks that it’s all he has. 

Something like anxiety gnaws at his chest. You’re quiet, and he picks up on the stiffness in your shoulders. He clears his throat. ‘Nervous?’

You turn to him at his question, sucking in your bottom lip. ‘I suppose. Not about the riding, but… I’m a bit nervous about spending the week with you, to be honest. No offence.’

Well, at least he’s not the only one.

‘None taken,’ he shrugs nonchalantly. ‘And don’t worry, darlin’. Ol’ Jack doesn’t bite.’

His pulse skips a beat when you send him an almost impertinent sidelong glance. ‘I hope you do a little bit, cowboy.’

It takes him a second to let out a bark of laughter, and your whole body relaxes at the throaty sound. ‘Maybe I’m the one who should be nervous, then. Shall we stretch our legs? Start the day with a lope?’

Scotch recognises the word and whinnies, tossing his head excitedly.

A gentleman at heart, Jack adds, ‘Or later, if you prefer. We can go as fast or as slow as you want, darlin’.’

A slow heat burns under your skin at his words. Surely he must know what that sounds like, especially in that raspy drawl of his.

It must be the altitude that’s throwing your judgement out of the metaphorical window. Brazenly, you drag your eyes over him. His left hand grips the reins loosely, resting casually on the saddle horn, thick fingers of his other are splayed on his firm thigh, hips rocking to the pace of his horse.

You meet his curious stare in a challenge, imbuing your words with as much meaning as you could, letting a coy smile stretch your lips.

‘Let’s go fast, cowboy.’

As soon as your heels touch his sides, Scotch takes off at a lively stride, and Jack watches you go with a chuckle to himself.

‘Careful what you wish for now, darlin’,’ he mutters under his breath, and then he comes after you - fast.

Notes: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this first part! Comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated. If you would like to be tagged in the next part, please fill in my taglist.

If anyone is interested, there are some more horsey notes below (if it's boring, please let me know and I'll shut up lol):

About 'gentle hands' and 'soft seat': a kind rider uses 'quiet' aids to communicate with the horse (i.e. no pulling on the bit or flapping legs), and follows the horse's movements with their hips (i.e. their seat) to be gentle on the horse's back. It's a very subtle skill and you use a lot of core strength that is built over the years - sitting quietly on a horse is much harder than it looks!

If you can't tell, I ride the 'English' way and have never ridden Western. I've done as much research as I could, but if there are any inaccuracies, please let me know!

[piastrinorris]

An Unambiguous Love [3/10]: An Invitation

1 :: 2 :: 3 :: 4 :: 5 :: 6 :: 7 :: 8 :: 9 :: 10 ::

alternate AO3 link

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson x f!Reader

Genre: fluff

Summary: Your favourite customers really make it easier returning to the town you never went to school in. If only your friends at work would stop trying to play matchmaker between you.

Chapter 3 word count: 2655

A/N: This chapter introduces the use of a meta-narrative of events that happen outside of reader's perspective, it's different to what I usually do for reader inserts but I actually had a lot of fun fleshing out other characters in the story! I hope y'all like it, too!

As the days go by, you develop quite a presence within your team. Your colleagues all seem especially abuzz when they get to work with you, and they certainly seem interested in getting to know you - but there’s an ulterior motive within all of them.

Every time Steve visits - which seems to be most days - they’re all on high alert, especially Tiffany. She even keeps lookout around noon to watch him leave Family Video on his lunch break, and rushes to make sure you’re out on the shop floor every time. She’s not the only one, though. Most of your colleagues will come and find you if Steve comes in, though not as eagerly as Tiff might. You have noticed on occasion when you’ve been working in the back, if the doorbell dings around noon, you can poke your head out and almost guarantee that Steve will act as though he’s looking through the comics, but will crane his neck around as though he’s looking for something - or someone - else in particular. You think it’s quite sweet that he’s that interested in being your friend, though you wonder why he hasn’t simply asked you to hang out outside of work.

This isn’t the only person you’re having this problem with. Eddie also loves to visit, though his are later in the afternoon. You know from Tiffany that he’s still at the school, having been held back until he can graduate this year, so he obviously visits once he’s done there. Usually either Ralph’s around, or he’s been told about it by the time you next work with him. But where Steve will act more nonchalant - probably because his “reputation” likely doesn’t fit here - and tell everyone who asks that he’s simply been sent to pick up a comic or two, Eddie has been nesting himself quite happily in the D&D corner, flicking through campaign books for ideas, helping others who come through with questions about the game, making it clear that he’s here as more than just an ordinary customer.

Eddie certainly does love to play along to other people’s dramatics. On the one hand, it’s fun to watch him leap across the store, helping people come up with ideas for campaigns, sessions, backstories. You just wish he wouldn’t entertain the very silly notion that he’s here to partake in some kind of sordid affair with you. You’re sure it’s very clear that he is exaggerating as a way to show everyone he doesn’t really feel that way, but you do admit it takes you a good week or so to get used to not swooning whenever he drapes himself over the counter just to look up at you with fake adoration as he talks to you. And the time you overheard him ask Ralph to, “Bring me my girl.” still gives you goosebumps if you think about it for even a second.

You wonder how to invite either of them to do something outside of work, without any of your colleagues catching on and making it a big thing. Ideally, you’d like to invite them both to hang out at the same time, since you’re sure they must be fairly good friends due to them constantly referencing each other, though they’ve never visited the store at the same time.

One Saturday, Steve comes in at his usual time, still in his uniform so you’re sure he’s been working, but he’s tailed by that Dustin kid. You guess he’s been hanging around the Family Video all morning. You nod in greeting to him, "Henderson, right? You good?"

He grins, "Oh yeah, I'm real good right now. Hey, thanks for having my back the other day. Getting me issue 200 early was cool enough of you, but helping me shove it into my friends' faces? Priceless."

"Well, if I've learned anything while working here so far, it's how nerds like to one-up each other all the time,” you nod with a chuckle.

Steve raises his eyebrows, tilting his head slightly towards you and scoffing. ��‘Nerds’? Like, in the third person?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, folding your arms. There are two speeds to Steve - his awkward bumbling, which seems to come along whenever you’re not automatically there for him to find and/or others are hanging around; and straight-talking, sassy Steve. While the former may be… Sweet, in its own way, you certainly prefer the latter.

“Well, I just think that’s a bit rich coming from the person selling nerd rags and nerd rocks,” Steve points to a rack of comics and then a jar of dice. “At least embrace who you are, too.”

“Is there a reason you came all this way, other than just to heckle me?” you ask before pointing at Dustin. “Since you’re usually his delivery pigeon and, well, he’s here too, so…”

Steve glances over at Dustin, who looks up at him expectantly, and then looks back over to you. “Uh, well, see, this weekend my friend Nance - Nancy, her parents are out of town. A-and so, usually we all hang out - well, I say we all, us older kids tend to group together, and then the younger ones do, but they’re super chill, you’ll barely notice ’em, it’s just we all stay under the same roof so the Wheelers don’t freak out. Uh, anyway, if you wanted to come hang out with us, too, that’d be cool. Totally up to you, though.”

You suddenly grow very shy. A party sounds like a whole lot of people you don’t even know… You rub your arm anxiously. “Uh, that’s a great offer and all, but I wouldn’t know anyone else, and I wouldn’t expect you to have me joined at your hip all night…”

Steve’s expression freezes as he racks his brain, until Dustin is the one to swing the back of his hand into Steve’s torso and suggest, “Eddie! He’s in here all the time, you gotta know him, right?” You nod. “Yeah, we can just -”

Steve sucks the air in through his teeth. “Yeeeah, no dice, buddy.” You and Dustin both cackle quietly at each other as you make the same joke of pointing at the jar full of them right next to you. Steve ignores you both, “No, I’ve been trying to talk him into coming, Nancy did invite him, but he’s… I dunno,” he shrugs.

“But maybe knowing he has another friend there too might help persuade him to come,” Dustin explains slowly to Steve, moving his hands around in circles.

Steve nods just as slowly. “Got it, got it. I’ll get him there.”

You scrunch your face up in thought. “I dunno, you guys, it’s very sweet of you, but I don’t know if Eddie would want to go somewhere he’s already turned down just for me to be basically attached to him all night, eith-”

“You wouldn’t be just attached to him, either,” Steve’s answer is quick and sharp, and his expression is the most stern you’ve seen. If your colleagues were watching, they might mistake it for jealousy. Actually, you wonder why you don’t feel multiple pairs of eyes prying on you from “secret” locations. Steve then softens up, “We’ll both help you get used to the group. Trust me, you’re gonna love ’em.”

Well, you had been wanting to see more of your two new friends outside of work. And perhaps you’ll make some more friends, too. “Alright, what do I have to wear?”

A grin breaks out across Steve’s face. “Uh, just whatever you’re comfortable with. It’s just a bunch of us hanging out at the Wheelers’ house. Um, if you wanted, I could come pick you up?”

“That would be nice! Uh… Hang on,” you scramble around for a scrap of paper and scrawl your address onto it. “What time?”

“I mean, I was hoping to get there for 8, so I’ll come for you around 7:30?” Steve asks, and you nod, handing him the paper.

Dustin is bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Yes! Awesome! See you soon!”

As both of them turn to leave, Steve frowns. “Huh. Weird. Can’t see Robin in the window.”

—[ meta ]—

Robin and Steve hear the door open to see - of course. Like every Saturday. The Henderson Roundup. If you’d have told Robin just two years ago, that she’d be spending her weekends mostly hanging out with a teenager, she’d have never believed you. But, it’s kinda sweet, watching her best friend Steve get to play big brother. And she gets a kick out of getting to team up with Dustin to make Steve’s life hell.

The second the clock strikes noon, Dustin cheers, “Yesss! Now you can take your lunch and come to the comic book store with me!”

“You know you can go there… yourself, right?” Steve asks, furrowing his brow. “You’re a big boy now, Mister Freshman.”

Dustin puts on a mimicking voice, “‘Ooh, you’re a big boy now, miste-’ Shut up,” his tone returns to normal, and Robin snorts with laughter. “C’mon, there’s a new issue of this one comic I’ve been getting into that I really wanna get.”

Opening a packet of chips that she clearly took in front of her manager with absolutely zero consequence, Robin puts one in her mouth slowly. “Huh. So, you couldn’t have asked Steve to pick it up on the multiple trips he’s made over there for you this week?”

Dustin looks at Steve, confused. “When have I asked you to -” Dustin’s whole face widens with glee. Steve’s does with horror.

Hurriedly, Steve hops over the counter to stand behind Dustin. “Hey, guess what, Henderson, it’s your lucky day, I will be wasting my precious lunch break with you after all.” Holding Dustin’s head, he swivels the boy around entirely and quickly herds him out of the store. 

When they’re in the parking lot, they huddle close as they walk away from the store, then start shoving each other until they’re basically play-fighting. They do that until they get to Steve’s car, where he makes a detour to lean against it to talk to Dustin. Robin’s known Steve long enough to know that he’s standing in his ‘game plan’ stance. That, plus him not wanting Robin to know why they’re out there, spells it out in plain English for her: he’s got a crush on someone over there. A real one, the kind he always teases Robin for.

She’s not mad, not by any means. He’s totally right, her first reaction is to seek revenge for how he treats her every time she crushes on someone. But, she contemplates as she continues to eat her chips, she wouldn’t be a good friend to do that behind his back. At least every time he gave her grief, it was because she felt safe enough around Steve to not be subtle about it.

Perhaps she could help, instead. Looking over at the comic book store, she notices that a group has congregated near the dumpster. Making no attempt to sneak past their manager, but every one at making sure Steve and Dustin don’t see her, she manages to evade detection all the way up until crashing into the dumpster, causing the group to jump.

“Oh my god, I’m so… Sorry, I’m so clumsy! I was just…. Um…” She flounders, realising she never came up with an alibi for coming over.

Thankfully, a girl who Robin vaguely recognises as someone she can place seeing in the school hallways, pipes up, “Wait! You work at Family Video, right?”

“Yeah! Just learned that my colleague is quite an esteemed customer,” Robin smirks, leaning casually against the wall of the store. 

“Do… You know the full story?” the girl asks, and Robin shakes her head. “Okay, so, I’m so sure that Steve and Y/N - have you met her?”

“Name doesn’t ring a bell,” Robin shakes her head.

“Well, anyway, they’re so in love, but they just don’t know it yet,” the girl continues wistfully.

Her male colleague snorts behind her, “You’re such a kid. You can’t just dictate how two people feel about each other without discussing it with both of them at length.”

“Oh, so you’ve talked to both Y/N and that Munson guy about their feelings, then? That’s how you’re so sure?” The young girl retaliates.

Robin holds her head. “Hold on, hold on, rewind. You’re saying Eddie’s part of this, too?”

The girl squeals with excitement, “You know him, too?! This changes everything! We’ve got someone on the inside!” She finally introduces herself as Tiffany, the other speaker as Ralph, and a third party, silent so far, known as Cameron. Robin introduces herself, too.

“Alright, yes, this is good, we can use this,” Ralph leans in. “So, how can we try and get Robin in good enough to assess the situation?”

They all think for a second before Robin snaps her fingers. “Oh my god, tonight. There’s - one of our friends, she’s having a party. And she knows Eddie, too, if he isn’t already invited I can totally talk them into it.”

“If we can somehow get Y/N invited…” Ralph conspires, tapping his chin.

Robin laughs, “Well, if I know Steve and his little… Sidekick as well as I think I do, they might be on that, already.” Her face falls. “I should get back before they realise I’m gone. Uhh, when are you guys next working?”

After some deliberation, the gang decides to regroup on Wednesday before closing time, to debrief about whatever happens tonight. Robin manages to rush back in enough time for her to recompose herself enough to look bored, picking up the rest of her bag of chips.

When Steve and Dustin return, they both look excited. They stop in their tracks when they see Robin, though. “Oh! Hey.”

“Uh, hi?” Robin ironically puts all her energy into looking nonchalant.

Steve frowns, “Could’a sworn you were… Doesn’t matter, I’m gonna need the phone.”

Robin steps aside, and Steve looks through the customer database before punching in a phone number. After a couple of beats, Steve grins, “Munson! My main man! How’s it going, buddy, I’ve missed you! How come I don’t see you anymore?”

Robin has to duck away to avoid him seeing her laughter. Looks like everything might just fall into place without any effort from her at all.

“Well, you know, I’m working full-time now, you’re almost out of school … Come on, I know you’re happy coasting at the bare minimum, you don’t need to spend your weekends studying … Oh, you’re helping Will write his campaign? Not sure what he’s running for, but boy, do I have a deal for you! … I know you know that, but I have another proposition as to why you should come … Well, we have a mutual friend at the comic book store, right? … Yeah, that’s her! Yeah, I thought it can’t hurt her to have more friends in the area, but she seemed a little nervous when I brought it up to her … Well, I - I may have told her that you’ll be there to help me help her mingle … Come on, you know you can’t stay mad at me … Yes, I’ll supply enough beer for the both of us … You are the best! I’ll see you later, man!”

As he flicks through to find another phone number, a girl around Steve’s age walks in. Usually no matter what, even if he’s actually busy with work-related stuff, he would drop anything to test out his latest pick-up lines. And yet, Robin isn’t at all surprised when Steve looks up at her, phone handset wedged between his ear and shoulder, hand covering the mouthpiece, and asks in a hushed tone, “Hey, would you mind helping her - Heeeey Nance, so I have some updates for you about the party you’re planning…”

[absolutelyfizzing]

cruel and spiteful

anon - If you take requests, can I have Zuko X reader, where Zuko tells them about his scar?

description - zuko tells y/n how he got his scar. he also has a very important question to ask her. (established!zuko x reader)

warnings - fluff, some tears, description of violence and abuse (no more vivid than is in the show), no connection to the content after the original series, some kissing, zuko is aged up (probably 20-24 years old)

word count - 1700

a/n - I tried on this one but I make no promises that its good

MASTERLIST

You stayed in peaceful silence next to your boyfriend as you read and he worked. Your leg was draped over one of his so you could have some contact but not enough that either of you would get distracted. You often thought about how thankful you were that you could have moments like this. That you had been together long enough and were comfortable enough with each other that you could spend evenings like this.

Zuko fidgeted a bit in his place and you glanced over at him. He had bags under his eyes and they looked red. You knew that he had been overworking himself lately and not getting enough sleep. Many nights he would come to bed after you had fallen asleep and then leave before you woke up simply because there was so much for him to do. You also knew that you wanted to take care of him and to let him know that his mental well-being was just as important as getting his list of tasks done. At that thought, you closed your book and sat up a bit.

"Zuko?" you asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace in the room.

"Hm?" he hummed out but he did not look up from his work.

"Zuko, honey, you have to stop working for a minute." You tried to reason but he just huffed. You didn't say anything else but you slowly moved to take his things off of his lap, giving him time to finish reading the paragraph he was on. He let you slip the papers into your hands and you placed them on his nearby desk. You stood silently and grabbed his hand to pull him up.

He didn't complain or make any indication that he didn't want to get up as you led him to your shared bathroom. You had him brush his teeth and you pulled his hair into a bun for him before you both headed back to bed, this time in your pajamas and with the intent of going to sleep.

"Actually, can you mess with my hair?" he almost whispered. He requested you touch his hair every so often because he loved the feeling of your fingers carding through it.

"Of course, my love," you assured and he smiled at you.

You sat on the bed, your back against the headboard. He laid next to you so his head was on your lap and you were looking down at him. You began to brush through his hair with your fingers, running your nails along his scalp. His eyes closed at the feeling as he sighed. You could tell that the anxiety of the day was leaving him.

After you had been brushing through his hair for some time and his breathing had evened out, you moved to run your fingers over the lines of his face. You just assumed that he was asleep from how calm and still he seemed. Your fingers traced along his brow lines and his eyes. You moved them down towards the shape of his nose and then his jaw. When you moved back up his face, you traced along the edges of his scar. You never asked him about it and you didn't actually know how he got it. You were from the earth kingdom and had never heard any conversation around the palace about it so you assumed that he was in some sort of accident. You knew that he would eventually tell you how it happened if he wanted to. As you were lost in thought you hadn't even noticed that his eyes were open, gazing at you from your lap. When you accidentally met his gaze, you flinched, like you had been caught doing something wrong.

"You can touch it, it's okay." He whispered out to reassure you and you hesitated before tracing it again. "Have you already heard the story?" he questioned. He knew that you hadn't known much about him when you met and that stories around the palace had ceased, mostly because it was old news and he no longer seemed self-conscious about it.

You shook your head shyly.

"Do you want to?"

You made eye contact with him. "If you don't mind telling it." You tried to make sure that he knew he didn't have to. He smiled up at you and sat up from your lap. He moved so that he was sitting in front of you, legs crossed under him to match yours. His knees were touching yours and he pulled your hands onto his lap. He looked up into your eyes and felt anxiety despite your non-judgemental gaze. He paused for a moment.

"My father did it." He started, looking at your face as you gasped a bit but you tried not to react, wanting him to continue uninterrupted. "When I was younger, I think I was thirteen, I sat in on a war meeting with my father and his advisors." His gaze had drifted down towards where your fingers were tangled with his.

"I disagreed with something, I spoke up. One of the generals had recommended sacrificing men as bait for a trap and I felt like I had to say something. It was seen as an act of disrespect so my father told me I would be fighting in an agni kai to settle the matter."

You kept your gaze on his face. You had only seen one agni kai in your time in the fire nation and it was not something you wished to see again. You struggled to believe anyone would expect a thirteen-year-old to fight in such a match.

"When I showed up, I had assumed I would fight the general, that was who I disagreed with. Instead, my father stepped forward to fight me. I knew I couldn't have won but I also didn't want to fight him because he was my father and I didn't want to show him violence. I got on my knees and asked him to forgive me but he saw it as a sign of weakness."

Zuko took a deep breath. He hadn't had to tell this story in a while and remembering the traumatic fight made him feel emotional.

"He burned me for my vulnerability. I was then exiled by my father, my scar a brand to let the kingdom know of my shame, and he sent me on my impossible mission to find the avatar. To find Aang." He finished, looking up to your gaze again. He was a bit surprised to see tears streaming down your face and he immediately cooed at you, shushing you and wiping your tears away.

You let out a broken sob and he brought his hand to the back of your neck to pull you into him so your face rested against his shoulder. Your fingers moved so that they were latched onto his shirt. You cried quietly for a few minutes, Zuko's hand soothing you by rubbing along your back.

"I'm so sorry." You whispered out. Zuko didn't respond immediately, thinking about his answer. For a while he would have said 'it's okay or 'i had it coming' but he now knew that it wasn't true. That it was cruel and he shouldn't have had to go through that.

"I'm okay now." He decided on and you nodded against him. You sat up a bit and moved your hand to cup his jaw on the side of his scar, your thumb just barely grazing over the edge of it.

"You are beautiful." You breathed out and Zuko was surprised by your words but they almost brought tears to his eyes. "Your father was a cruel and spiteful man and for him to have taken his anger out on his own child when you were just a kid is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry you had to go through that and I am so proud of you for having become such an amazing man in spite of your cruel upbringing."

You wiped away the single tear that trailed down his face.

"Will you marry me?" He whispered out, surprising himself a bit. He had of course been planning on proposing to you but he had a plan set up months from now. It was elaborate and romantic but as he sat in front of you, he wanted to be able to say he was your husband as soon as possible. Your face cracked into a smile and you giggled a bit. Zuko wanted to hear that sound for the rest of his life.

"Of course I will, Firelord Zuko." Your words reminded you of your future and your face paled a bit. Zuko was ecstatic that you said yes but worried as your face showed anxiety. "I'm going to be royalty." You choked out, your fear showing. You had, of course, hoped that you would be spending the rest of your life with Zuko, but you had never given your future rank much thought. Zuko let out a laugh at your realization.

"You already are." He added and you quirked your eyebrow in question. "You are the person I care for the most in the world, you are my closest advisor and you help me in all of my decisions, you are under my protection at all times. You are already queen in practice, just not in title. You will rule by my side as an equal as you already do. As you have done for the last 2 years."  

You smiled at his reassurance and leaned forward to pull him into a searing kiss. You hoped that he could feel all of the emotions you were trying to express through it. He hummed against your lips and brought his hand up to rest in your hair. When you both pulled away, out of breath, he leaned his forehead against yours.

"I love you." He mumbled out and you smiled.

"Nowhere near as much as I love you." you replied easily.

[narsicen]

Part: 1/2

Word Count:  18,101 (for both parts)

Pairing: Bang Chan (Skz) x GN! Reader

Genre: slice of life, college!au, lab partners!au, loving from afar, angst, fluff, bittersweet, Popular!Y/n, Quiet kid!Chan, first loves, meet cute,

Warnings: mentions of coffee, if there is anything triggering I missed, please tell me!

A/N: omg???? Me????? Posting?????? And writing????? Lol uhm I’m currently still in hiatus, just barely LMAOAOOA so I haven’t been able to do anything for the past months because well, I’m so burnt out with writing but i haven’t lost passion for it so dw, next I actually have some stories piled up for posting but I want to keep it that way to even out my content and because I take hELLA LONG?? To WRITE???? So kdhvkshghsdg so sorry everyone. but luckily, I already have the next few fics planned so hopefully if i can jusst follow my plan, then i should get them down with soon, btw I’m thinking of focusing on this series first before requests, becauSEEE, I’m passionate abt this LAIKAJSISO but i also rlly wanna explore how I’ll write these and I’ve planned like 3 of the other stories already so HSDLJHSdh

Part 2

Story under the cut!

A particular “ping” made Chan perk up from the pile of open books that lay on top of each other. He scrambled through the various papers of printed essays and research papers, throwing some discarded, crumpled, paper planes off the table.

“Hi, Chris! (Please tell me I got the right person) This is Y/N, your new science lab partner. I hope we can work together and cooperate :) P.S if you aren’t Chris from class - AB 3 please text me back as soon as possible thank you!”

Chan’s eyes grew with awe and he wore his signature grin as he read your text message. This must be the first- no probably the second time he’s ever been so excited to meet his new lab partner. (he hates science and he hates most of his lab partners)

“Hellooo Y/N, this is Chris, I can’t wait to work with you as well. To be honest, I was starting to get a little worried that I gave you the wrong number.”

Chan went through with his message for the third time, hoping it didn’t sound off or rude. The last thing he ever wanted to do was to give you a bad first impression on the lab partner you’d be stuck with for the next few months.

Through the countless times he’s tried to alter his words and maybe add a few emoticons and emojis to the message, he just either came off as a try-hard or some cringe dad.

He fiddled with his fingers behind his phone, thinking of some way to make up for how stiff his message came off. In the end, he settled for the “grinning face with sweat” emoji (according to Google, he had to make sure it didn’t come off weird) (he’s not weird I promise)

Pressing the little green “send’ button after a while of waiting. A hand flew to his eyes just as the messaging app made a small “whoosh” sound effect, indicating the message was successfully sent.

Ever since he set foot onto the new campus grounds of his university, ever since he caught a glimpse of the first few students that huddled at a table or two near the front gate. He’s heard your name from students left, right, behind, and above.

He’s heard all about you, not in a creepy way, of course, people just couldn’t keep their noses out of other people’s lives. Chan thought it must be hard to get so much constant attention from everyone around you, that sometimes it made him thank the heavens above for his lack of social interaction.

But even with this pet peeve, at times, he’d curiously listen to the things others say about you, it could be when he passed by some students in the cafeteria or by the lockers or even from students a chair or two away from him in class.

And you seemed like a nice person; he could see you being the protagonist of every superhero movie. Sometimes he’d wonder what it would be like to actually get to know you other than to just piece things together from a few “I heard Y/N loves dogs”.

You’ve done many admirable things that even he seemed to adore you from afar just like the rest, not in a creepy way, again. You sounded like a likable person with a lovable personality, and he wanted to get to know you as a friend.

He eventually planned to get closer to you,

but he’s just someone else in the crowd.

Sure he had friends, he’s gotten recognition for awards he’d get from swimming competitions or spelling bees’ maybe, but he’s just but in the end he wasn’t any different from the rest.

And you’re- you’re THE Y/N, who’s on the stage.

Do you know that kind of feeling?

He isn’t- crushing on you per se, he’s admiring you, he’d call it. Whenever he’d walk past your desk after finishing his paper earlier than you, or when he’d pass by you laughing with your friends, he’d just feel like he wanted to talk to you, there’s just something about you that pushes him to get closer to you.

And he was just fond of you. You can’t like someone in these types of conditions. Well, technically, it shouldn’t be possible.

He’s read and heard of love at first sight, but he’s just glanced at you, for all of his days in this pit you’d call college. There was just 0 to nothing for him to be crushing on you after hearing about you? seeing your eyes? and hearing your laugh? He knew himself, he wasn’t that easy.

He’s sure of it... At least he believes he’s sure of it.

“Oh.. haha, my bad! I really didn’t think you were waiting for my text but I guess this was my fault for making you worry.”

You seemed awfully sweet.

Chan held back a small smile at your message, it’s just as if he could hear your little voice in the back of his head.

“So.. Chris... Can I call you that? Let’s get to know each other soon! We could probably get some coffee.? Or if you’re not into that, what would you like to do? We need to be on good terms to work better together right?”

Oh my goodness.

Chan’s smile dropped almost immediately as he read your message. Oh no... Goodness no.

He set his phone down and looked at the wall in front of him, aimlessly trying to think of a reasonable answer, or even contemplating whether he should go or not, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

I could meet with them and get to know them, they have a point, we have to be on good terms for us to work together better. But going would put them in an awkward situation of always starting up a conversation-!

His thoughts ran wild as he thought further into the question. He ran his hands into his hair, messing his curls up and aggressively ruffling them as he groaned loudly at himself.

Chan’s eyes closed in an attempt to think straight, he can’t leave you hanging for so long.

As he slowly opened his eyes, he eyed the text message of yours and with a heavy sigh, he told himself, Screw the consequences.

“You can call me Chan or Chris, whichever is comfortable for you, and sure, we can go get some coffee sometime.”

Chan mentally cursed at the haste of his fingers and as he read back his message, he did sound a little … stoic? He seemed to be a dry person on text, he is, but he doesn't want to talk about it.

“Great! There’s this new coffee shop in my district, wanna check it out together then? How’s Friday after classes?”

~

‘Um- Excuse me..? Y/N, right?’ Chan awkwardly gripped his bag strap, squeezing it tightly as he watched you turn your head to him with the warmest smile he’s ever gotten all year.

Oh my goodness

‘Oh- uh yep! That’s me, and you’re Chan right?’

Oh my goodness

Chan blinked for a few moments before nodding his head quickly, you chuckled slightly at his (very obvious) nervous reaction. You two awkwardly sat in your positions, weirdly looking at each other, waiting for the other to say something or to do something.

Maybe you two were just the same despite how different your worlds were.

‘Uhh.. h-have you ordered anything-?’ Chan scratched his neck to seem “natural” even if it wasn’t doing much anyway.

You forced a small cough into your fist just as you laughed awkwardly, breaking the weird eye contact you two just had. ‘No- uh- ye-yeah! Yeah.. I did, I didn’t know what you liked though so I just ordered you something simple.’

A small sorry smile crept to your face as you slowly looked back at the boy. ‘Sorry..’

O h. M y. G o o d n e s s.

Chan returned the smile with his own, a very very awkward, lopsided smile. ‘It’s fine- I like coffee any-‘

‘Two orders for Y/N? Please come to the counter to claim your orders!’ One of the workers from the counter yelled.

The two of you perked up to look in the direction of the counter.

‘Oh- well, I’ll go get our orders, you can go ahead and sit down. I'll be right back!’ You scrambled to pile your things together out of habit as you quickly gestured to the chair across your own to Chan.

Chan nodded timidly as he watched you get up to get to the counter. Just as you turned your back from him, he hugged his bag in front of him as he weirdly settled into his chair.

Slowly starting to feel more awkward by the second, he squeezed his bag closer to his torso, feeling eyes on his back despite no one really caring about what he or you did at all.

He fiddled with his bag strap, wrapping and unwrapping it around his finger as he waited for you to come back with your drinks.

It might have been a few minutes or even less than a minute, but to him, it just felt so different to be in this kind of setting where he thought everyone was looking at him.

How could you be in this type of environment every day and not freak out?

He thought you were amazing for that.

‘Hey! What’s got you so deep into thought? You seem bothered, is there something wrong?’ You offered him that same warm smile you gave him earlier. He realized how you were already sitting across from him.

As he looked up to meet your eyes, he could see your smile grow as you chuckled softly while you waved your hand in front of him.

He shook his head slowly, ‘No, I was just- thinking of ways to not mess up our conversation you know?’ You both laughed at his rough attempt to joke around. He’s more than glad that you think it was funny too.

~

Chan couldn’t hold back a hearty laugh as you told one of your goofy stories with the other friends of yours back at the university.

Chan thought his friend group was the wackiest but you seem to be just as wacky.

You couldn’t continue on as you laughed just as loud as Chan at your own stories. You had this side that made him adore you, even more, you were as everyone told him, probably the next best person to be living and breathing right now.

You two ended up having the weirdest stories ranging from science theories to Harry Potter books and now to embarrassing stories either you or your friends experienced.

I mean, at least the conversation didn’t end, right?

As soon as you were about to finish the story, an employee approached you two and told you that the shop was going to be closing soon so they should prepare to leave soon. You two didn’t notice how some of the people in the coffee shop had left already, there were still many for the capacity of the coffee shop, but it was calmer as compared to how it was when you two met up earlier.

Chan’s laughter calmed down as he blinked a small tear away from laughing too much, both of you following what the worker told you to do soon after. And as you two quietly packed your things away and grabbed your unfinished drinks to go with you, Chan would laugh softly at the remembrance of your story and you would accompany him with a giggle of your own.

While you two headed out of the coffee shop, Chan held the door for you to go first, he urged you to go before he did but you did the same as you joked how you two could (should) “equally” exit the coffee shop.

You were slightly embarrassed at how he held the door open for you, but in the end, you had to accept it with a laugh into your fist to ease your embarrassment.

‘Well.. that was a great story.’ Chan chuckled

You smiled softly at his little chuckle, you two awkwardly looked down at your shoes, and the surroundings around you two started to darken into a dark indigo color.

‘Uh-m I guess- this is goodbye..?’ Chan put up a small grin and a small unsure shrug.

You nodded your head timidly at his attempt to say goodbye. ‘I mean.. congratulations on not messing up our conversations today, I really had fun.’

You both giggled at your joke, referencing what Chan said earlier that afternoon.

This time, the both of you didn’t want the conversation to end, you two seemed like you wanted to keep talking and telling more stories, but unfortunately, every day had to end at some point.

‘I guess.. I’ll see you tomorrow then…? In the lab?’ You subtly asked the boy, you subconsciously played with your fingers as you held onto your notebook.

To this, he grinned.

‘I’ll.. see you tomorrow.’

~

Chan slumped into the metal chair facing the empty train tracks, he felt exhausted, not from your conversation today, but because of how much he’s been outside, talking to someone.

He felt like he had run a marathon, his eyes drooped and his legs felt like jelly.

“The train heading to _________ district 8 will be arriving in 30 minutes”

A goofy smile appeared as he thought about your little hang-out earlier, you were so nice and you just had something that made him excited.

And he wanted to tell you something funny again to hear you laugh. He thought that you had the prettiest smile as well, and in whatever you did, you were always so accommodating, it made him feel all warm and nice inside.

You were just too good to be true sometimes. He’s spent half the afternoon with you and he can conclude that you were probably the only other person he would love to talk to forever.

Okay, maybe not forever.. regardless, a long time especially for someone like him.

He couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

“Train ___ heading to _______ district 8 is arriving, please stay behind the yellow tape. Have a safe trip.”

The faint noise from the train coming from the tunnel signaled Chan to stand up, he waddled to stand right before the yellow line on the ground just as how the intercom advised.

He couldn’t wipe his smile off his face, even if his cheeks started to ache slightly, he felt excited.

Maybe this is what they meant how you’d feel when you take coffee.

Like a shot of espresso

Was it the americano you ordered him?

Or was it how you stayed and listened?

~

Maybe Chan should consider skipping lab period next time.

He dropped a flask.

Spilled someone else’s chemistry experiment on their papers.

Left the burner on for a minute too late

Possibly ruined your guys’ experiment

And bombed the first performance task he had to do with you.

Bombed as in nearly blew something in his face because he forgot to label some of the flasks.

What’s wrong with him today? He’s flunked his chances on impressing you, you'll never deem him worthy to be your lab partner now.

Well, one of the good things that happened was he didn’t end up in the infirmary after everything he’s gone through.

But you burnt your hand because you were trying to save the experiment that nearly evaporated.

For the rest of the day, he felt nothing but guilt and a load of angry judgmental stares from people all around the campus, even some of the freshmen he met gave him the stink eye!

Though it did wear off after a few hours of Chan cooping himself up in the library to avoid all the stares. He’s spent too much time hiding, he forgot why he was doing it in the first place, and he forgot to visit you in the infirmary after the class ended.

Chan’s head perked up from the book he enclosed in front of his face, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to recall if he ever walked to the infirmary and talked to you. Chan groaned internally at the results of nothing but speed walking down the halls to the library.

But it was past after-school hours and you definitely didn’t need to stay too long for a minor burn. He dropped his head low as he hid behind the book, he bit his lip in regret and cursed himself for forgetting, today might mark the day he’s going to find a new lab partner.

‘You do know the book you’re reading is upside down right?’ You awkwardly sat beside him, you didn’t know whether you two were comfortable with this distance.

Chan’s eyes widened, he stammered and stumbled over his words with ease.

‘No- I- wh- urghm..- w-what are you doing here?’ He struggled to flip the book the other way in haste, he looked back and forth between you and the book as he did.

You couldn’t help but laugh quietly at his “misfortunes”, you raised your hand over your mouth to muffle the sounds of your giggling, the librarian at school was a nightmare to argue with, you experienced that first-hand and you’re not making that same mistake again.

‘Keep your voice down, miss Olivia is not someone you’d want to mess with.’ You jest as you leaned in closer to whisper with a thumb pointing behind you, to a fairly young woman in her 30s glaring at the two of you from the other end of the library.

‘Oh-.. yeah… no kidding, she lectured me 4 times today for trying to use her ladder to get books,’ Chan mumbled, and with a sigh, he closed the book in his hands and raised it beside his head as he faced you. ‘Especially for this book.’

With a slightly uneasy frown, he glared at Miss Olivia’s back as she was taking her sweet time using her ladder to organize a row of books.

‘The book wasn’t even interesting..’ Chan huffed, this made you laugh again, he even joined you in laughing quietly.

If someone ever came across the two of you, they’d claim how ridiculous you too looked trying to laugh without a single squeak, possibly having freaked a freshman or two from the tables across Chan’s table.

~

‘Well.. maybe Miss Olivia was right, maybe we should have thought of leaving the library if we were just going to joke about how she dressed.’ Chan guffawed, he bent forward slightly, clutching his stomach as he laughed a little too hard.

‘Goodness, who thought you had the guts to actually question Miss Olivia.’ This time you laughed.

As the laughter died slowly into a comfortable silence, at least for you. As for Chan, he thought it might have made you uncomfortable until the lingering idea at the back of his head hit him right in the face.

‘Your hand!’ Chan’s thoughts spoke, quite literally.

‘Oh geez- you scared me,’ You chuckled as you flinched to look at his sudden outburst.

‘Oh I'm sorry I- I forgot to visit you at the.. infirmary this afternoon, and I am also sorry for.. burning your hand..’ Chan’s shoulders slumped in guilt as he glanced at you now and then to gesture at your bandaged hand awkwardly.

You subtly waved his apology off, laughing softly, “Everybody makes mistakes right? Plus it wasn’t too badly of a burn, that’s possibly why they advised us to use gloves in the lab.”

“Yeah but the whole day I had to hide in the library since everyone was indirectly making me nervous” Chan hugged himself exaggeratedly to point out his joke.

You giggled as you looked towards the setting sun as you two walked towards the gates of the school. “Well.. these things are gonna happen anyway, don’t mind them, sooner or later they wouldn’t even remember this ever happened.”

“Oh really?” Chan turned to you with a slightly unconvinced reaction as he hugged himself tighter, reminding you of the joke he made earlier.

Both your laughs and ongoing jokes stopped as a big gust of wind blew by. Brings some leaves to scatter and drag on the narrow driveway you two walked on. The setting sun burned the blue skies with tints of orange and red, crunchy leaves drag themselves all around them, making a slight crinkle sound from a leaf or two, and the small pebbles that rub against both your soles, accompanied with your the small taps from either yours or Chan’s shoes, you couldn’t tell.

Chan wouldn’t admit it, but he felt like you were right. Reassurance sure is nice, even if it didn’t promise anything. Chan’s shoulders relaxed as he let his body sway ever so slightly with the wind rushing by you two.

“So.. you’re not worried anymore? You know.. that people would keep staring at you.”

“No, you told me not to worry.” Chan smiled at you.

You thought he had a unique smile, in your opinion, and in the nicest way possible, you thought he resembled a dog.

“I guess this is goodbye, my district is over there.” Chan turned to you just as he stopped at a certain convenience store just a few steps away from the school gate, he pointed his thumb behind his back to nothing in particular but at the path going off into a neighborhood.

You nodded your head as you purse your lips. “Alright... I guess it is, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“We don’t have lab tomorrow though?” Chan raised his brow curiously, did you forget there wasn’t a laboratory period tomorrow?

“I mean- we could still meet, right? I’m pretty sure there’s no rule that forbids us to meet aside from lab periods.” You hesitate to fully say your suggestion, rejection was … quite frankly a rare thing for you, so you decided to take caution.

“Oh.. uh- yeah! Why- why not..? I mean sure we can... I just- don’t know if you’re free..?” Chan’s voice slowly turned softer as he rambled on.

You chuckled softly before nodding your head at his answer. “Technically, I would have the time since I suggested it. But we will see.”

As you two bid each other a goodnight and a pleasant goodbye, both of your minds had racing thoughts and endless pep talks. All that the sun touched that day was nothing less than happy.

~

12:34 pm

About 30 minutes before lunch break, Chan noted.

It’s been a few hours since you two said “hello, good morning, what’s your first class today?”

Well, it sort of seemed like none of your classes seemed to align today, which bummed Chan out a lot. He kind of wished you were part of his literature class so he could be your partner and he wouldn’t be counting the minutes till he gets to leave.

You can’t blame him though, and he most definitely did not hate his partner, it was Jisung, how could he hate one of his closest friends? But he certainly wished Jisung would stop his weird jokes, but aside from that, they don’t seem like a bad team for the assessment.

He convinced himself that he shouldn’t be too clingy (he thinks it’s him being a tad bit too “clingy”) and he tried to admit that there shouldn’t be any problem right now, he’s with one of his best friends and he’s doing alright in his literature class, everything was smooth.

But a small part of him asked about how you were doing in your “dreaded” calculus class.

Jisung snapped his fingers in front of Chan’s eyes that were focused on their small scattered pile of papers on their desks, but he seemed to be unresponsive to all that Jisung said or asked.

“Earth to Chan? Are you still there? Hello??? Little Chan, please tell Chan to pay attention to our project!” Jisung jokingly knocked at Chan’s forehead with the back of his index finger and middle finger.

Chan furrowed his brows in confusion and slight disgust at Jisung interrupting his thoughts. “I’m still listening, I’m just- thinking.”

“Does it have to do with our 3-page reflection paper that we need to complete by the next two weeks?” Jisung tried to put his chin up to act serious. Chan looked at Jisung in confusion as he glanced around the classroom before nodding his head reluctantly.

“If you were thinking about it, you would have at least answered my questions, I mean I was asking some interesting questions and you didn’t even bat an eye at me!” Jisung crossed his arms and shook his head disappointingly at his partner.

“Well- what was your question anyway..?”

“So you lied!”

~

Chan ruffled his hair just as he yawned. What a day.

It completely slipped Chan’s mind all about your agreement the day before. It didn’t cross his mind even if he escaped literature and he just went on with his day without realizing he forgot something.

4:35 pm

It’s been a long day.

Chan couldn’t wait to get home and faceplant into his bed. This past few weeks college has been sucking him dry, it was sort of a miracle if he remembered certain meetings around the campus.

He trudged down the stairs with his backpack hanging off his shoulder, his eyes barely stayed open, it was weird how he hadn't slipped and just slid down the stairs.

“Chan?”

“Hm?” Chan whipped his head around and looked around aimlessly trying to find someone who called his name.

“I guess your day has been eventful.” You giggled at his confused expression. He had this particularly odd-looking smile, it wasn’t big or anything as compared to a grin or a tight-lipped smile you usually give people.

“My day? Oh no, it wasn’t that bad, I’m just insanely tired from trying to write a 3-page essay for literature earlier.”

“All in one sitting?”

“Nope, I wished though.” You laughed softly as you felt a little embarrassed to laugh a little too loud with the very few students still left in the corridors.

You noticed Chan’s state as you two walked down the stairs together, he had a slight drag on his feet, and miraculously he wasn’t tripping on his other foot. He was asleep, but also awake? Your lab partner is just as interesting as your lab experiment.

“That’s weird.” You muttered with a small smile tugging at your lips.

“What’s weird?” Chan muttered back, like two friends sharing secrets.

You guffawed at his reaction and his response. You will never really understand how he works and he gets a little more unexpected the longer you sit around him.

“How about I take you up on that agreement we had yesterday?”

“Agreement-?” Chan scrunched his face up a little, trying to rack his brain of anything about the day before.

“… That we could hang out after classes? Or to just hang out again today..?” You tried to hint it out for him, you hoped he did remember it though, it was rare anyone made you do this, you know, hint it out for them to remember.

“Oh?”

“You know what? Maybe we should just go get you something to wake you up, you’re basically a zombie. How’s coffee?” You put a supporting hand on his shoulder as he was tipping a little off to the other side, you worried that he was about to faint if you kept talking and ignoring his state.

“Oh... That’s okay, I like coffee anyway.” Chan replied as he smiled, it was a little lop-sided but you thought it was one of his best features, based on how long you’ve been with him.

~

“How do you like Americano? Is it not too bitter for you?” You eyed his dark drink in his hand as you two walked around the neighborhood park in the area.

“No..? How do you like Caramel Macchiato? Is it not too sweet for you?” Chan raised a brow at your drink.

“No?? It isn’t even sweet-“ You put the back of your hand to your mouth as you laughed at his reaction, he cringed as you tried to explain why you like your choice of coffee.

“Well.. Americanos don’t seem bitter to me,” Chan added a tone into his comeback as if to sass you, but all you could do was laugh a little harder into the back of your hand, and you soon made him laugh too. “You just can’t handle it I guess.” He scoffed.

“Goodness.. you sure like to surprise me every time.” You shook your head playfully as you giggled a little.

“Surprise you? In what way?” Chan’s smile grew as he awaited your answer.

You fidget with the straw in your cup by twirling the beverage with it as you try to juggle your words around. “Well you.. have really interesting reactions, that’s one. Two, you seem to be really genuine with how you react to me.”

Chan’s smile turned into a small tight-lipped smile as he listened to you.

“At first, you seemed like you just wanted to impress me, but in the end, you just started to become someone you’d meet every day-“

Chan was about to open his mouth to thank you for saying such nice things, but coming from you felt like a weird dream he never wanted to wake up from. But he was touched and he couldn’t or he wouldn’t want to let you know that, this meant a lot to him.

“- I don’t mean that you’re like- not special or anything.. I just.. I don’t meet a lot of people like you… anymore.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean- with everyone just thinking I’m like someone high and important, no one ever has their own thoughts or ideas anymore, it’s just all aligned with mine and I’m-.. not open to anyone or anything “new” or “ordinary” anymore.”

You held your hand by the cap, fingertips just slightly gripping the sides, letting that hand fall to your side as you watched your shoes kick stones along your way. Rambling on all about the burrow of problems in that head of yours.

“I’ve been around a lot of people who just constantly expect so much, even if it was indirect or when they don’t even mean it that way. You know what I mean?”

“But you wouldn’t want to be someone who’s always stuck in literature classes or someone who just won a few medals in swimming competitions.” Chan offered you the sweetest smile you’ve ever received in a while, it radiated the sun, it felt warm and welcoming, and you wished to have such a sugar-sweet smile to offer to someone.

You were so jealous. Because you know what? Maybe you did want to be someone who was always stuck in literature classes, maybe you did want to win a few medals from small local swimming competitions even if it were just bronze medals, heck! Maybe just winning a position in the runner ups or just being able to participate!

What do you have to do to get a simple.. care-free life like this? A normal life like this?

Everyone just seemed to be better and living a better life, better than yours.

“I’m so jealous of you.”

“Me?” Chan pointed to himself hesitantly, he didn’t want to make assumptions about who you referred to as “you”.

You laughed a little under your breath, “Yeah, weirdly enough, I am,” You smiled sadly at the dark asphalt beneath your shoes. “You’d think that I’d be happy, and I have everything every freshman wishes for in their Junior year.. but all I got were stares.”

“Stares? Well maybe, that’s because you’re doing so well in almost all that you do?” Chan tried to comfort you and to lift your spirits higher as you stumble over thoughts and your feelings.

What were you doing? You’re embarrassing yourself, that's what, you thought to yourself, an uncomfortable lump formed in your throat, making it hard to swallow. You feared you would probably sound stupid if you spoke right then and there.

You forced a small smile at the boy who looked at you a little concerned, you hated that look, did he pity you? Or was he faking being concerned at your little sob story.

He was just your lab partner, after all, You don’t even know each other well enough, would he care?

You shook those thoughts away, you trusted that he wouldn't be like that, you prayed and crossed your fingers that he wouldn’t ridicule you after this. You just overshared a tad bit, that shouldn’t be a problem, right?

“Y/N? Are you alright?”

“Yup, I think I’m just a little out of it today, this coffee is a little too sweet.” You chuckled into your fist, brushing off what just happened earlier.

“Oh.. I can drink it for you or I can get you a new one if you don’t want it anymore, you don’t need to drink it. I'm speaking from experience, those types of light-headedness are not fun, especially after school.” You laughed at his offer, you wanted to just take that leap of faith and trust him.

You want to consider him your best friend from that day on, he was a gem. But you can’t..

“I mean I could just drink it later, plus- you said you didn’t like sweet coffees?”

“Oh no.. Like I said before, I like coffee anyway, I just don’t prefer it too sweet.” Chan made a small pinch with his fingers as he tried to show you a measurement of his preference for preferred sugar levels in his coffees.

“Well help yourself,” You handed him your drink, you barely drank from it since you seemed too in your head rambling on to your lab partner. He reluctantly took your drink, he was a little cautious, and he didn’t think you’d actually give it to him.

Chan took a sip of your drink and cringed at the sweet taste that left a bitter aftertaste of the coffee, squeezing his eyes shut and he sucked his teeth in as he nervously eyed your drink’s cup with the logo of the cafe.

“Wow.. that is sweet.. TOO sweet.” Chan scoffed at your understatement of ‘a little too sweet’, to him, that was a little too flavorful for him, maybe caramel macchiatos are just not his thing..?

“I did warn you.” You laughed at his expression as he sipped the beverage again, he thought maybe it was just because of his bitter, plain-old americano, but no, this was way too sweet for his liking, for anyone at all!

That or Chan has a thing for bitter, plain-old fashioned Americanos more than bright, sugary sweet caramel macchiatos.

“Oh uhm.. this- this is my stop.. sorry our “hang-out” was cut short, my mom would be worried if I missed the bus home.” You awkwardly glanced at the bus station that hung around the corner of a building.

Chan waved you off followed with that same sweet smile that you thought matched really well with the overly sweetened coffee in his hand. You returned that smile to the best you could. “It’s understandable, it is getting late, get home safely.”

You nodded at his goodbye. You two waved to each other as both of you shuffled further in the opposite direction, Chan noticed the orange-tinted skies and the red sun burning through the blue sky, the red streaks mixed with orange made Chan wonder in awe, after a long day, the sun still tries to glow, how admirable.

Chan smiled as he walked back to his district.

He’s glad you.. “opened up” to him.

But Chan wanted to say he knew how you felt but no one likes being told that, he wanted to say he wouldn’t do that to you, but would you even believe that? He wanted to let you know how much you sparkled in his eyes and maybe to others too, but you probably would have just laughed it off, he wanted to tell you that being someone like him was nowhere as a good or comfortable place as you thought,

He was a coward, nobody likes a coward.

‘Did I mess it up again?’

~

You leaned your head onto the glass window of the bus you rode on, this wasn’t even your bus.

It was going in the opposite direction of your home.

You argued that no one could blame you, you wouldn’t like to bore someone all after that awkward confession of yours, you could have kept everything together like you were supposed to

But something pushed you to tell him.

Sighing quietly with your hand under your chin, you watched the shadows of the sunset turn darker as the faint reflection of the moon shone through the window. Each street lamp passing by became blurred lines mixed with the green bushes by the sidewalk.

Maybe if you just did what you were supposed to do, maybe if you controlled your emotions, maybe if you kept your mouth shut

You could call him your first real friend.

Now that’s out the window, who would take that confession so lightly, who would look at you the same once this gets out around the campus?

You frowned at your reflection on the glass pane, as you stared at it longer, you realized how you looked as if you wanted to cry.

That lump in your throat made it hard to swallow, your emotions were leaking like a broken pipe, and you couldn’t help but tear up a little. Just as you thought you could trust someone, just as you thought you could finally make a friend who you genuinely wanted to get to know.

You’re not the Y/N everyone adored and wanted to be, you weren’t the Y/N that was “friends” with everyone in every room you walked into. You weren’t the Y/N everyone loved.

You knew that, but you tried to be that person.

The same person who looked back at you in the mirror was the person you wanted to be.

And now Chan knows this.

He knows you’re not what everyone made you out to be.

He’s seen you like this

You were so jealous of him, he probably doesn't have to worry about how anyone thought of him, he could be normal. He didn’t have to worry about weird stares you felt on your back every day.

He probably didn’t have to worry about what others thought about him to make a friend or two.

What would other people think about you now?

What would Chan think of you now?

‘I should have kept quiet.’

~

Chan fiddled with the spare flasks on your guy’s shared desk at the laboratory. As he waited for the experiment to condensate, the slight clinking of glass sounded louder than the scattered chatter. To Chan, it felt like a boom, the kind of boom that you’d see in comic books, the kind of boom that you’d hear from a loud drum.

Settling the flasks he toyed with onto the desk, he buried his head into his folded arms, resting his head to the side, watching his experiment bubble and whistle.

“Did I really scare them off?” Chan muttered to himself.

“I should’ve said something..”

“I was supposed to say something else wasn’t I?”

Chan’s eyes focused on the liquid on the burner but his thoughts were far off.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! Chan knocked his head thrice with his fist, he knew it was really awkward but, he tried his best didn’t he?

Carefully, he put on his gloves before taking the flask off the burner to stop it from scuffing his project. You weren’t there to help him so the best he could do is follow the instructions you left in case you couldn’t assist him ever since the incident when you burnt your hand.

“They would probably feel too awkward to talk to me again.. what should I do?” Chan wrote down his report as he heard his professor drawing in the classes’ attention, indicating it was time to wrap up.

~

Chan’s phone screen lit up, showing a text message. He looked over to where his phone was, turning away from the book he borrowed from the library. His literature homework wasn’t going to read itself, which is why you would find him at the library, actually reading.

“Hey Chan, sorry about skipping lab class today, I had something important to catch up on :(( but if you don’t mind, can we meet up in a bit? It has something to do with the project.”

Oh.

Chan gulped as he read your message, you .. sounded off?

He knows no one can really tell from how you text but, his stomach’s telling him that this wasn’t going to end well for either of them.

~

“The garden?” Chan murmured as he read through another reply of yours, indicating the meeting place. He’s been circling the campus for a while in search of this “garden” you told him about.

“Chris! Over here!” You waved from a familiar fountain, Chan could have sworn your word choice was a little- misleading. There was just a patch or three of grass and shrubs with a singular rose bush in the area; he wouldn't exactly call this a garden.

“Oh- sorry, I got mixed up with which garden you meant. My bad.” Chan sheepishly walked over to you, slightly looking down, like a dog with its tail between its legs.

“Ah, yeah.. sorry I didn’t specify.. I just labeled this area the garden since freshman year.” You offered a small smile. Something Chan has seen you offer other people in class as well.

This was it. This was the sign Chan didn’t want to see.

“So.. what did you want to talk to me about?” Chan averted his gaze from yours now and then as he felt awkward staring into your eyes.

You fidgeted with your fingers, averting your eyes from his as well.

“I was thinking, since the deadline drew closer for our project, I suggest we do our experiment in parts. I've been busy with .. uhm.. other subjects these days too, I think I’ll find the setup easier to manage.”

Chan listened closely to you, your voice grew smaller as you spoke, it was as if you were forced to say this.

Chan sighed quietly, nodding his head in understanding. He shouldn’t bother you anymore if he thought hard, he knew you two hanging out after the project was a far stretch, to begin with, you both had to slowly let each other off somehow.

“It’s alright, I understand.”

“.. alright so I’ve split our jobs into two, here are the instructions and reports for your part, And uh..” You shakily handed a clear folder with paperwork and blank sheets in it to Chan, to which he accepted hesitantly.

“.. uh…”

“Uhm.. I guess I’ll see you on presentation day or something then?” Chan concluded after looking at the file you gave him. He sent you a small smile that reflected your smile earlier.

“… y-yeah, sure.” You nodded reluctantly.

After bidding each other a very awkward goodbye, you two went on your “merry” way, hoping for a miracle to happen to fix this.

~

“So.. they just… gave you the files and left?” Jisung scratched his head as he squinted his eyes at Chan trying to squeeze an answer out of Chan.

“Yeah.”

“And you’re just going to.. accept it and do your part till they say something?”

“Yep”

Jisung sighed. He took out the lollipop in his mouth that he’s been leaving to melt in his mouth.

“Chan, what are the odds that they would talk to you again? You have to make the first move, you can’t keep wishing for a miracle if you avoid everything, obviously, the opportunity will never strike you!”

Chan just slumped into his chair before pursing his lips together, glooming at the folder you gave him.

Jisung was right and Chan knew it. But what are the odds that he would do what Jisung said? Make the first move?

If anything, Chan was just good at music, he wasn't good at literature, he hated science, he doesn’t like math, he was not in the council and he was just getting by with average grades.

With what he has so far and what he does, the more he doubts about this miracle he’s hoping for.

What a waste, college was supposed to be the time of his life, but he’s here doubting when he’s only got his Junior-, no half of his junior year, and his senior year left, then who knows what’ll happen then.

Chan pondered on the thoughts that constantly re-occur, “half of my junior year and my senior year.. then who knows what’ll happen then.”

What will happen next after this stage in both of your lives? You get a job, he moves away for his job, you might get a master's, you both draw away, and - sooner or later you’re both back at square one, strangers, just like in your freshman and sophomore days.

And when he looks back, what would he see? Regrets? A load of crap he would tell himself about being able to fix this? The stuff he wished you said? The things he wanted to say? Or the things you two were supposed to be?

What a nice way to remember the prime times of your life.

Chan grumbled.

He’s been stuck in his hoodie and underneath his own shadow, hiding in his dorm room and just going on through his day like a normal person, everyday was monotonous, every day he woke up to the same tune of his alarm, he ate the same cereal, he wears the very same choice of clothes, and he goes to the same classes to do the same thing every day.

It’s time he makes college a moment for him to remember. Who wants to look back into 4-5 years of his life with the same routine, Every. Single. Day.

If he doesn’t talk to you ever again because of this, he’ll never forgive himself.

He wouldn’t be able to live with the fact that all these words were all in his head. It would suffocate him, he just knew it would just like every other unsaid thought of his.

“Shi-“ Chan muttered a curse halfway as he rolled to stand up from his bed.

These past years of his life were a blur, what was there to remember? What was there for him to look back to anyway?

Is this what they meant when they made up the saying, “It’s now or never”?

“I have nothing to lose” that’s another saying.

“Go big or go home”?

“The time is now”, that’s another.

How do you tell someone something without actually telling them that “something”?

You can’t, that’s the problem Chan has to overcome.

Chan rummaged through his desk for anything: paper, pen, correction tape, a page of his math textbook(?), anything! He wanted to hold onto something that could be useful! Useful.. Useful, anything..?

He threw onto the desktop all the junk he’s grabbed onto. Flicking the switch of his lamp aaaaaaand.. what a letdown…

A pad full of paper, a half-used pen, cut-out shapes from his math homework, and a pile of unwanted science and literature essays. Goodness, this was supposed to be his “moment”, maybe this is why he hasn’t done anything “significant” in his life?

“This- will do…” he grabbed the pad full of paper, and his half-used pen. Pushing the rest of the junk on his desk to the side to have a fresh, clean desk to write on? Or to draw maybe? He hasn’t figured out what exactly he wanted to do.

Make paper planes?

Write a letter?

~

“Write a letter?” Chan resounded his thought, cliche, every movie has done it, every cliche love story starts with letters, not all but, it was cliche. But what choice did he have?

What path could he take?

He’s in a box filled with water, with no key. He’s going to have to find a way to do anything in a box filled with water. Unrealistic comparison but this whole problem was unrealistically impossible to get out of in the first place, it was his first time to do this, he’s going to have to knock some attention to the box he’s stuck in. That was his first step.

Dear Y/N- no that sounds weird.

Hello! - erm..

Chan was making blots of inks and erasures on his first sheet. He made faces at his work every time he made something up, quick to erase the words he would write, just like this was his first time to be in this position, he’s never taken the initiative to write his first ever love letter.

Love letter? No no this was just his.. vent. That’s all.

Taking a deep breath as he closed his eyes. This won’t be shown to you. This was his deep pit to pour out his frustrations and feelings. But this is his only way to talk to you indirectly, if he finds the courage to give these to you, the moon would be blue.

Dear Y/n,

Please don’t be frightened when you read this.. or if you do read this. This really is not meant to be creepy! I would love to tell you who I am, because I don’t want to frighten you at all. Do understand this is my first time writing letters to someone. So if it gets awkward or- really weird, just know this would be weird for me too.

It’s weird writing to someone when I could just tell you the contents of this letter, you know, verbally. But I find it really hard to.. talk to you. Weird right? Maybe it’s because whenever I’m near you and I try to speak, they’re just stuck in my throat or in my head. I get really nervous but comforted and at peace at the same time.

I feel that you could make someone feel almost everything in a single blow. Weird right? But that’s how I feel. I’m sorry if that sounded really- creepy but I mean it in a good way, one second I could feel intimidated, the second- I’d feel like I fit in, the third, you’d make me feel as if we’ve known each other for 20 years instead of 20 minutes.

You’re incredible, I mean it. You are one incredible thing, you’re everything nice, Goodness that sounds so stupid, I’m no good at writing letters. I’ve never liked literature, have I told you that? I absolutely hate reading long books. I hate math, and I hate science textbooks.

I like to swim, I used to be a part of this junior swim team. You told me you liked caramel macchiato, swimming is- something like a caramel macchiato to me, it’s cringy to say but, when you take the first sip, it sort of shocks you awake, your mouth gets sour from the sweetness, and then the bitter zap from the coffee, it’s just the same when you get into the water, it's cold then warm then ticklish? I can’t explain it but no matter how weird the feeling is, it never gets old. You just can’t get enough of the feeling or you just can’t get sick of it. And the feeling never sticks long enough for you to remember, so you end up going back to it.

Sorry if I’m rambling, It’s weird for me to express these thoughts from the top of my head, much less to actually write it, I’ll probably never read this again, I do hope that- You won’t find out who I am so soon though. I’d be more than embarrassed.

If you end up finding out who I am. Please don’t tell me you know me. I’ll only cower more. I’ve had my fair share of cowering away, more than enough.

I do hope this letter will find you in good condition, and with that, I’ll see if I can write you another letter. Maybe I’ll be better at writing these? Who knows, well.. you would but..

Anyway, I’ll see you soon?

From:

—————

_____________________________

Dear Y/N

5/4/22

Hello, it’s me again. Don’t mind the dates, I feel like I have a long way to go before coming to terms with myself and actually giving these letters to you. So- I decided, that maybe these can be memory keepers? Uh- like photographs, I actually never thought of what to put in these letters, especially since I think I’m talking to you, like actually talking to you through these letters. I feel it’s unsettling to start telling you my fears or something. I could tell you all about my day but it would just be me describing how the food at the canteen never ceases to gross me out, or all about my friends, or just about me. This seems really insensitive, but what can I say? I’m talking to a piece of paper.

I think I’ll find myself forgetting about these letters after a while, and I’d end up throwing them out once I move back to my parent’s home after college. Or when I move out to a separate home that I’d be spending my days in, till I think about getting a new house.

I ran out of ideas on what to talk about, so if the correction tape starts to chip, don’t mind the erasures. I guess I should talk about my day. Today was - eventfully dull, like always, I mean what’s so special about going to class (the same classes to be exact) and doing the same things all day, everyday. I did our science project in the study cubes we have in the library. It's actually- fairly comforting to have a whole box to yourself. I feel the study cube could be one of the investments of the school that I personally enjoy the most. Have you studied there before? It was my first time if you hadn’t noticed yet. It was surprisingly .. nice to be alone for once, it was quiet, not the awkward type considering the whole front wall and door is made of glass, I think the giant, white, obnoxiously large letters that spell out “study cube” helps keep the other student’s noses out of your business, whoever designed that is brilliant, brilliantly- stupid? I mean I’m no interior designer but they could have done better. (Back me up here, you’re the one in an interior designing class.) (Well only if you want to.)

It’s currently 12:34 am, I would say good morning but...

Anyway, I’m tired, you must be tired, I’ll head to bed, I hope we can talk in person soon, so I can actually stop caving in my dorm room, writing letters like you’re gonna read this. But I can wait. Okay, that sounded weird, but I can’t even keep a yawn in right now. Good night, I can't wait to lock this in my drawer.

from: ________

__________________________________

Dear Y/N

5/5/22

It’s me again. Again, please don’t talk about the dates, I guess you can see how often I want to talk to you? Never mind, that sounded stupid and weird. Please don’t think of me that way.

Do you know Jisung? Han Jisung? He’s told me before that you guys share the same social studies classes, he’s from the literature department, and he’s also tried to sign up for the school paper once, do you remember that? It was during sophomore year I believe, we haven’t met yet, but I guess we saw each other briefly, you were the - editor in chief? Was it? Or someone important in the office, and Jisung mistook you as the person who declined his “audition” (I forgot the term, was it submission?) for the papers, you did look like someone, the someone who actually did disapprove of his work. I was the friend beside him that day that he tried to and I quote “give you a piece of his mind” I still haven’t apologized to you about that, I just felt it was a little weird for me to still remember something like that so I felt embarrassed to bring it up to you now that we’ve actually met.

I do hope that you haven’t strayed away from making friends with my friends. I admit, maybe I did do something wrong but please don’t limit yourself, they’re good friends, I shouldn’t be the reason why you’re avoiding people that I’m usually around with. If I could promise and show you that I would actually mind my own business, I would. Whether you become my friend’s best friend, I really wouldn’t mind. As long as you don’t take them away from me, I wouldn’t mind, even if we aren’t comfortable talking to each other anymore.

That was some word dump, my bad. You know if these get cringed and you did read them, burn these letters, it’s the least you can do before telling me you never want to hear from me again. Knowing me, I’ll never EVER stop thinking about the fact that these letters could be up and running around the campus.

Have you read or watched the series “To all the boys I’ve loved before”? I’ve never been so traumatized from it, which is why now that I have my own letters to keep, I’m quite literally keeping them with my life. Okay wait before you go and ask me why I watched or read the series, I have a sister. And a friend named Changbin.

Seo Changbin, he’s majoring in physical education? Something about a major in sports, I think? I’m not too sure about myself anymore, he’s been transferring and having second thoughts about his course since sophomore year, and I can’t keep track of whether he’s in economics or sports, animal care, or culinary art. This can explain my case, he’s all over the place and you can’t understand what’s going on in his brain so ask him why he thought the series was fun and asked me to join him. (To be fair, it was confusing, but I did find the series- uh- interesting. It’s not my favorite show, but I don’t think it’s as bad as people say it is? I just don’t see why there’s such a big fuss about the movie series with the book series, so I watched and read both.)

Not the stereotypical, “my sister watches said series like any other girl.” She usually isn’t into those. I can vouch for her, for the past.. 18-19 years of growing up with her, I've never ever seen her read a book with that type of genre. And she seemed interested too. So I mean adds on to reasons why I might wanna see what the show’s all about right?

It’s uh- 3:45 pm, and I’ve been stuck in the infirmary with a badly twisted ankle, and I got to pass my time icing the injury so, might as well get a letter done right? I got the injury from playing soccer with my friends, it was a hassle hopping to the infirmary with 2-3 other people dragging attention to you by sobbing and acting like you got a limb cut off.

Until the next letter then.

From:

_______

~

Chan stretched his arms, leaning back on his chair, another letter finished. He sighed in contentment, his lips formed a flat smile, it held certain contentment and a tinge of fatigue from the finals week he had to accommodate together with his ongoing letter-writing agenda.

It seemed as if he’s been writing letters to you for a while now, even if he only started a few weeks ago. Chan wondered how much his letters have accumulated now. He reached over to the other end of his desk, pulling out the drawer he stashed the letters in, the sealed envelopes were all scattered on top of each other, all with dates and entries like “Letter 4” or “To: Y/N. From: “

He sighed at the sight of the envelopes, picking up a few every now and then to read all that is on the surface of each letter; if he bothered to count, these letters would outnumber the fingers his hands had. Had he been writing every day? He scoffed at himself, knowing well enough he was- amazed that he had this much to say.

Putting the letters back into the drawer, not really caring if letter 8 was under letter 5. He refocused to the newly written letter on his desk, he folded the paper neatly before putting it into a brand new envelope, snapping a tape off the small tape dispenser he stationed on the side of his table, glancing at that little tape dispenser as he was about to reach for the drawer to let the letter in his hand join the rest of his collection, he’s going to need a new roll if this prolongs or if he plans to say any more to you.

Oh goodness.

Chan closes his eyes as he leans back into his chair, his fatigue caught up fast, it was nearing 1 in the morning.

“What did I even do today?” Chan wondered to himself. As he was recounting the events of his day. Come to think of it, his recent days were just spent in the library preparing for the finals, or doing homework in class and writing letters in his dorm room.

As he thought about how his time managing skills were average, to say the least, he couldn’t help but doze off to other topics. He thought of everything he’s done, and everything he’s written, no matter how boring his day was, he always had something to write to you about. He hasn’t talked about his feelings or anything, just about himself, like his hobbies, his friends, his day, it was like those introductions in kindergarten.

Chan glanced at this mini calendar on his desk, it had a line character on the left side of the calendar, and a few of his annotations on the right. Things like “Changbin’s birthday” and “family dinner” were the common things he’d write, just simple reminders in case he missed the notification on his phone.

He looked past the dates with big red circles, those marked the dates of his final exams, and as he looked past those, there was a small note on the last day of the month, “Christmas break”.

Chan could only imagine what Christmas break would look like after finals. He wondered,

By then, would you and him be friends again?

~

Chan cursed under his breath as he mopped up the spilt apple juice on the wooden floors of his living room. It was way past 8 in the evening, his parents asked him to clean up a little bit after the party his relatives threw for his little cousin in his house. Perfect timing as well, just the day before his graduation. Tomorrow was the big day, finally the day that will mark his completion in college and his successful years passing his course with average grades and a finished bucket list.

His parents were taking down decorations and keeping leftovers, even though the constant rustling and crumpling from the cleaning session in Chan’s kitchen, Chan felt so at home with his thoughts, it was quiet in the neighborhood weirdly enough because usually, he would hear a loud motorcycle zoom past his house at an ungodly hour or an overly enthusiastic rooster or even a party down the street with obnoxious music on the highest volume.

It was like a once-in-a-lifetime thing for Chan, one of his “must-sees” before he leaves his childhood neighborhood, it’s weird because he was against the idea of leaving when his father introduced it to him with the jobs available for Chan in the next city or in the state next to his current one. But every time he thought of everything that happened in this place, all he could think about is college and then the time he fell down his bike and rolled down the street when he was 9, the only reason he wouldn’t leave was because he was comfortable here, no one ever cared that he was wearing a sweater in the middle of summer or no one really cared that he was moving, when he gets out of this place, no one will ever know someone named Christopher Bang.

Maybe his relatives, a few friends, a couple of batch mates but what are they worth in a neighborhood the size of Jisung’s cheeks, sometimes it might not look like a lot but when you really walk around the area, it’s like a whole new place you’ve never stepped foot in yet the air seemed the same, familiar even.

As soon as his parents told Chan he could head to his room to get some rest for his “big day” tomorrow. Chan trudged to his room, he wasn’t at his dorm because the school gave an early warning that he should move out slowly as the semester closes, so now he’s stuck in his childhood room with the glow in the dark stars still stuck to his roof, and his Cars 2 bedsheets. Even if he hasn’t been away from home in a long time, his mother finds his room like some Time Capsule and refuses to change it to his liking.

Chan wouldn’t say he didn’t miss this though, he’d be lying if he did. He could just remember 8-year-old him flopping on the same bed right after doing his math homework and falling asleep almost immediately. Chan bets the sheets would smell like his childhood, something like apricots and autumn leaves, or was it lavender? Chan never appreciated that smell from his blanket that would put him to sleep almost immediately, maybe that’s why he hasn’t been getting much sleep?

As Chan closed the door behind him, he spotted a clean pack of pad paper and his funny-looking transformers and star wars pens in his pen holder. Cereal packs these days don’t give anything, Chan wonders if kids these days experience the meaning of enjoying your childhood if you didn’t collect pens from cereal packs of your favorite show.

He sat down and switched on his lamp, the light flickered now and then and the light it gave off was weak, and .. it was about to go out, maybe but Chan could care less, this was pretty bright for him, he could work his way through this. He reached over and grabbed an R2D2 pen, the pen charm had the head of R2D2 hanging off a slightly rusted chain from the top of the pen. Chan clicked the pen a few times before testing it out on a corner of the pad paper on his desk.

Surprisingly it still works, like brand new actually. This was Chan’s cue to start writing, he decided, this was one story to tell you, next, he wanted to say his final thoughts and finally reveal who he was. Even if he planned to keep this to himself, at least he could finally sign the letters with his name, admitting that all those letters were in fact, his thoughts and his emotions.

“Here goes..” Chan muttered.

~

‘Breathe in, breathe out.’ Chan tried to pat down his graduation (gown?) outfit and adjust his hat. He frantically wiped his hands on his jeans under his regalia, his hands were much sweatier than usual, not like they were always wet but he figured it was the nerves he was developing or is it excitement? I mean it’s not every day you finally get to receive your diploma and finally experience the taste of adulthood.

Looking at the mirror in his old room was.. nostalgic? He has slightly longer hair as compared to before and he swore he’s grown an inch or two since he last stood in front of the mirror. A small smile found its way onto Chan’s face as he finally saw, with his own two eyes, that not only did he grow physically but maybe he did mature over time, and now’s the result of all his hard work and of all the unnecessary pain he’s been through.

“Dear? Are you ready? You’ll be late!” Chan hurried to the muffled sound of his mother. Shoving a bunch of materials and some notebooks, he didn’t think about what he shoved into his bag, he took as much as he thought he’d need from his desk top.

His bag seemed heavy but Chan figured he can sort this out later, he can’t fix time if he was late for his graduation.

“Coming!”

~

Chan heard all kinds of boisterous noises screaming, cheering, strained laughs and sniffles. He’s taken at least 2 naps in total and he’s seen his parents and younger siblings in one of the seats behind him. It had been a good 3 hours? His behind was getting numb and his brain was empty and all he saw was nothing but gray as he clapped aimlessly every time he heard a name being called to the stage.

He doesn’t mean to be rude at all but he’s been half asleep half the time and he doesn’t even know half the students being cheered for, they were all people he’s seen but never cared to get to know or just didn’t seem like they were interested in being friends with someone like him. He never liked to talk to a lot of people so he didn’t have a problem with that.

Graduation seemed slow at first, Chan was seated beside people he barely knows of and strangers and parents of said strangers were all around him, occasionally he’d be woken up from his doze by the loud shrieks of this girl in front of him or the low obnoxious cheers from the varsity player beside him. But luckily after a while, the names started to deplete, and soon after he would get called on stage and his friends too, he heard your name but the people in front of him stood on their tippy toes and screamed at the top of their lungs.

Graduation was definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience, a milestone, an honor that you wear around your neck. Now that everyone was flooding out the auditorium, chatters among students with things along the lines of “I can’t believe it! We’re out of this place for good!” And “Can you believe it? We’re graduates!”

And if Chan was, to be honest, he felt the same way. It's unbelievable that college just ended like that, all those years blown away in one big gust of wind, Chan could hardly recall the days he’d complain to his friends about how he would consider dropping out if a certain teacher didn’t lift the workload. (As a joke of course)

As Chan caught up with friends he forgot about “sorting” his bag out from earlier and he was pretty carried away with the jokes and diploma-shoving banter from his friends and some acquaintances from different classes. He could almost smell the tinge of sweet autumn breeze in the air, like a reward after all the grueling years of college.

He felt the slight odd-one-out item in his bag as he gripped it before slinging it over his shoulder. As Chan walked out of the auditorium he could smell a familiar scent and an “aftertaste” of a certain drink. Caramel Macchiato.

Maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him, or a hit of nostalgia, or just a familiar feeling he missed resurfaced. He held onto his bag as he ran up to his friends waiting at the side of the auditorium to tell them he had to catch up with someone before he could miss them.

Chan ran back to the auditorium, looking all around him for a sign of you but all he saw were teachers and some staff members cleaning up the mess as well as some students who were just chatting with friends, but none of them resembled a certain Y/N.

He ran outside and went to gardens and sanctuaries students usually stayed to hangout. At this point he was losing hope, it was getting dark and each minute that passed was a moment he hoped he could catch up to you, he hoped you’d still miraculously, still be there waiting or that he could somehow catch up to you.

As the day was coming to a dark, vibrant orange, and the sun was slowly setting with each tick of his watch. Chan, with all hope lost, trudged to the front gate of the school, he tried, that’s one story for his very final letter maybe.

He thought about all the places he wanted to check, he wished he could be everywhere all at the same time in case you decided to go to a certain place, he wouldn't have missed you if it were that way.

He dragged his feet, kicking pebbles along the way and fallen pine cones in his way. Chan heard chatter from a distance and he just prayed it was his friends waiting for him, he wanted to take his mind away from you, or from this whole thing, he should be celebrating after all!

Chan couldn’t look up for some reason, scared it could be you or your friends, he wasn’t really prepared for a moment like that you know?

“Chan? Where have you been?”

What?

That doesn’t sound like Jisung at all. Chan looked up to find a certain caramel macchiato enjoyer. You.

Chan’s mouth was slightly left agape, what’s with his luck? He wouldn’t count this as luck but neither did he think this was something unfortunate. He gulped as he held onto his backpack strap, why did you ask where he’s been? Have you been looking for him?

“Hey..?” Chan answered meekly.

“Hi.. uh..” You laughed nervously as you looked at your friends and waved them off for a bit before turning back to Chan.

“Can we talk?”

“Can we talk?”

You two asked in unison, both with a similar tone in your voices, it wasn’t something like after an unresolved break up or with misunderstood feelings, more like a needed congratulations.

And an awaited goodbye.

“Uh, my bad you can go first.” Chan offered.

“You should go first.” You insisted.

Chan coughed awkwardly into his fist, averting his gaze to the side before pursing his lips. This was it, this was it, this was it. Chan encouraged himself as he unzipped his bag to get the box out of his bag.

As he handed it to you with his eyes looking off to the tree behind you.

“I wouldn’t say this is a graduation gift to you per se, but it’s something I meant to give to you for-.. awhile? I guess you could say that.”

You took the box into your hands as you furrowed your brows, but offered a small smile to him. Chan finally glanced back at your expression. He was worried you’d be sort of negative about this but to his surprise, your smile was something that resembled an overly sweetened caramel macchiato. Sweet, too sweet on that note, but enjoyable, stereotypical, an everyday thing but you could tell the barista made it with a whole lot of love and effort, in short, it was genuine and Chan longed to see that from you after a long while.

“Don’t open it!” Chan outstretched his hand as you slightly lifted the box’s lid off.

“Open it at least a week later, or-.. well when you start to miss college, yeaH! TILL YOU MISS COLLEGE! Or -.. better a week later..!” Chan rushed as he tried to push back the cover.

You chuckled at his antics just as you nodded at his request(?). You tucked the box’s lid back on properly, easing Chan’s nerves.

After a long comfortable silence and a few awkward giggles and chuckles here and then, Chan started to bring back the topic, “A-anyway.. your turn…”

“Ah right.. my bad… uhm” Now you were afraid to look at him.

“I wanted to congratulate you, we had a good score for our project, and your delivery was great. Sorry, I couldn’t have… congratulated you earlier, I- I wanted to for a while actually ! But I figured you were too busy juggling with the finals and with your swim practices..” You hugged the small bouquet of flowers in your arms.

You grinned sheepishly and laughed awkwardly to ease the tension you felt, Chan offered the same laugh before answering.

“Oh no no it’s no problem, I haven’t been able to congratulate you earlier either! So it’s no worries! Really.” Chan waved you off as he averted his gaze to look at his shoes.

“Well uhm.. this is for you by the way.” You smiled sheepishly as your voice grew small while extending the bouquet of flowers to him, the plastic’s soft crinkles seemed to fill a void of silence that you two couldn’t fill. Chan doubted either of you were bothered though, in fact it reminded him of the autumn leaves.

Chan’s eyes grew in astonishment as he was faced with a dozen roses, from the looks of it, it was just freshly picked as well. He hesitantly glanced at you, asking if this was really for him before reluctantly accepting the bouquet of roses into his own arms.

“Oh.. thank you..?” He turned from admiring the roses to thanking you with a slight confused tone, you chuckled softly. “Sorry, I’ve never gotten flowers, it’s usually just me giving them to my mom.”

“You can give these flowers to your mom as well.” You shrugged playfully as you watch Chan erupt into laughter.

“I mean, people can give others flowers right? Plus it’s graduation day, isn’t it tradition?” You offered him a smile, Chan couldn’t understand what was behind it, to be fair, he couldn’t even understand if the smile he was giving was because he was happy he got his first ever bouquet of flowers or the fact that you thought about giving it to him.

Chan exhaled, as if he were holding his breath but he was able to feel a wave of relief as he inhaled the fresh autumn air. “It is tradition but you rarely see it happen these days.”

“At least you got to see it for yourself right? Doesn’t it make it extra special?” Your smile never faded but your eyes softened at the sight of Chan, you missed this.

“It does.” Chan held the flowers close to his chest as his smile grew, the sides of his eyes crinkled slightly.

After a while of silence, the two of you laughed off the awkwardness before nodding in acknowledgment that you both are here, at this moment, you two can finally say goodbye..? It felt short-lived but this was all that Chan has been wishing for since his first letter.

“I should probably get going now.. It’s getting late and.. your friends are probably waiting for you.” Chan gestured to your friends chatting behind you, before offering you a reassuring smile. It’s time to go home, or well to go with your respective friend groups.

“Oh right.. Yeah.. I should probably get going as well.” You glanced back at your friends and chuckled softly.

“… I guess I’ll see you then?” You held onto the box Chan gifted you and you felt your fingers squeezing it, realizing the smooth, soft, feather-like texture of the box, something similar to a stationary box.

“Yeah.. Until then I guess.” Chan unconsciously gave the bouquet in his arms a squeeze, it was already impossibly close to his chest but he hugged it closer, finding uncut thorns that poked at the thick plastic wrapping and colored paper outer wrapping.

You two waved to each other as you both giggled to yourselves, you were relieved that even with the gap between you two before, something’s don’t really change. You hoped and wished maybe you had more time to say goodbye, but you can’t keep him here forever.

~

Slamming the door shut as you sighed harshly, flopping onto your bed, face planting into your pillow. Turning your head to the side just to sigh again, it was a small disagreement with your parents and it ended in you storming to your room and planning to keep to yourself until the whole thing blows over.

Closing your eyes, you squeezed them shut, your head was starting to have a slight pounding sensation at the back. Just your luck.

As you opened your eyes, you noticed a familiar box on your desk, you never noticed, and maybe it’s because the baby blue shade that was confused with white, was blending with the polka dots. You sat up on your bed, ignoring the slight headache from falling into bed.

Reaching over to grab the box from your desk, you realized there was a small tag stuck on the box, it had a small “Chan’s things :)” in a carefree, child-like handwriting, you smiled at the endearing sight, everyday it’s like you could still see bits and pieces of him.

Opening the lid your eyebrows raised in shock? Amusement? Maybe in the middle of both. Multiple letters (you assumed) were in airmail envelopes with stamps that were considered valuable were on corners of each one.

Picking the first one in the pile to inspect it, you realized that each envelope had the familiar handwriting of Chan, it wasn’t neat nor was it messy, but you found it something like a characteristic of his. With each letter that you picked up, more emerged from the bottom of the pile, you wondered how Chan was able to fit hundreds- maybe even thousands of these letters.

You put the pile in your hands back into the box before plucking a letter randomly, opening it, and finding an evenly folded paper inside and with the letter being addressed to you. You were seeing the date of each letter being from a year or two ago. Subconsciously picking another random letter up into your free hand as you read. This process continued until half the pile in the box was transferred to another pile of opened envelopes beside you.

As you finished another letter, you carefully folded it back to how it was and inserted it back into its envelope before stacking it on top of the other letters you finished. Opening a new one, and you realized it had a second page, you noticed the dim lighting from your window and realized it was late. And that you’ve spent your remaining afternoon reading letters.

This letter didn’t have a date. You figured it could be a really recent letter or a letter Chan forgot to mark.

Dear Y/N,

On this day is my little cousin’s birthday, and it’s just a day away from our graduation ceremony. I went to his birthday party and when I entered the first thing he called me was, crispy. For obvious reasons, I do hope that I don’t give off that vibe.. or get-up, and I do hope you won’t call me crispy either, Chan or Chris, that’s it, not crispy. Weirdly enough his parents and MY parents egged my little cousin on and they started to call me uncle crispy. Anyway, tomorrow is our graduation day. I have my letters in a box, only recently did I get a box for them, and you know what? I tried to count them but I sort of lost count, so I’m stuck with thinking I wrote 87 letters..? But I don’t recall writing that much though, hopefully, it isn't, I don’t want you reading 87 letters of just me talking about how much I hate mathematics class. I also forgot to ask how was your day? I hope it’s going well. I believe this will be my last and final letter to you, I doubt I’ll have time to write another one tomorrow, not with my nerves for the graduation ceremony. I’m still unsure if I want to give this box of letters that are sitting on my desk right now. If I do, and you will see this letter, I hope you won’t be creeped out or- anything.. I mean well with the letters.

Since this is my last letter to you, it might be one long one. It’s just for goodbyes, you know? I’m going to be moving out of the dorms soon. I've done some packing early in the week so I’ll be out of here faster than I estimated, which is why I concluded that this might be my last letter. I’m not sure if I’ll stay in the neighborhood either. I have plans, I guess you can say, and it involves me moving out of the country or off to another city. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart I want to stay here so in turn that if you wanted to say something to me before I go, I’d hear it. But from the pit in my stomach, I don’t think you would even stop to think about these. Throw these letters out as soon as you read them though, I really don’t see why you would keep them in the first place and I want you to promise that you will, I’ll only sleep better if I know you will.

Below this paragraph is the things I’ll finally say and mention to you, after a long while of not being able to admit these things to you, no they are not problems, or complaints, neither is it obsessions and addictions, just my feelings, not necessarily feelings as in romantic feelings, but feelings as in the things I thought and felt when we were friends, and/or when we had the chance to hang out. If you don’t want to read beyond this, feel free to just throw it out.

Do you remember when you made your first friend? I can’t really remember the feeling, but I remember the memory, but what’s a memory without feelings? A black and white picture maybe. To be fair I have made a lot of friends, in my whole life, I don’t recall meeting more than 20 people a year so.. being “friends” with a people’s person did get into my head for a while. You’re admirable as a person, I’m sure people around you have made that clear, but I think when I met you, half of me or probably more, was happy to meet someone who didn’t seem too intimidating. Maybe you were intimidating at first to me, considering your status but after sometime you seemed like the warmest, kindest being I’ve encountered. I may not know what it’s like to be in your place everyday and I may not know what you see in your eyes everyday, but from what I know, you’re going through so much, and yet you have so much compassion and kindness despite it all. That’s admirable.

Maybe I am wrong and maybe I’m just overthinking but I feel that there were some things left unsaid, and some unexpected outcomes in our friendship and I understand you need space, and you’d rather save yourself the trouble, which is why I’m writing these letters to you, in hope that when you’re ready to talk to me, and that I’ll be too late to reply, at least I’ll have some answers for you. I’ll admit, if I knew my timing, if I knew how to approach you, and if I knew how to resolve things that are left undone, maybe I would have reached out to you sooner, but sadly, I don’t, and I could barely tell time on regular days, either I’m too sleepy to care or it’s usually around dinner time by the time I get out of the building, whether it be from the dorms or from school and I don’t have the guts to even talk around new people or well.. talking to people was never really my forte, to begin with, and I’ve always hated solving math word problems, so I’m sure you could tell why I didn’t approach you sooner and I’m sure you know that I’m actually not so special, I’m a little below average actually. I’m the definition of a quiet kid that, maybe only 3 people in the whole batch knows about me, even if I wore sweatshirts and vests instead of hoodies or khaki pants instead of joggers and even if I walked around wearing clothes like that, no one would care who I was because I wasn’t going to be special or I wasn’t sticking out like a sore thumb. (Not that you are one though)

But you, on the other hand, you’re like the definition of a successful, “someone-whose-future-is-bright”, “they’re-going-places” type of student. And sometimes they forget that putting you so high on a pedestal… makes you so isolated from everyone else. I must admit, I looked at you the same way, like some otherworldly- being. Which I’m sure you didn’t know..? Or pretended to not know maybe. But after hanging out with you for a while, after you told me what you said to me that day? I realized you’re just a person, who has dreams and passions, and fears and flaws. I realized you’re just trying to fit in what others say you are because you felt like if you didn’t, you aren't Y/N anymore. I admire that you still strive to be the best. That’s something a normal person can’t do. That’s something I can’t do. This must be the other reason why I looked at you like some “otherworldly being”.

Oh gosh, that was a whole word dump. I apologize, really, it’s just what I realized and I wish I knew that early on, and I wished that I knew how to tell you that it was okay to let your guard down. And that if you need help, I’ll always be willing to lend a helping hand.. and I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you that earlier on. I also want to apologize for that day, my answers weren’t really well thought of and maybe I didn’t consider what you could have felt either and I’m sorry, I know I could have done better and maybe I wouldn't be holed up in my room on the night before we graduate, writing this letter to you. You know what? It’s funny, people would call this and my other letters “love letters” even though I doubt the rest had anything to do with me claiming I loved you or anything. I’m only using this method as an actual way to communicate, you know, like how letters were actually used before. But to say that this last one is not a love letter, might be a lie. Love letter as in me telling you these things because I care about you, be it platonically, romantically, I wouldn't know, I’ve never felt anything like this before and I doubt it’s what they call love. They say it's something like being close to the sun or on cloud 9 or talking to the moon or something, hell, what does it mean to be on “cloud 9”? Wouldn't it hurt to be close to the sun? Why would someone talk to the moon so eagerly when you’re “in love”? I talk to the moon about my science homework, would it mean I love science? Do you get what I mean? This isn’t a letter about me being in love with you romantically, it’s more like a letter of admiration? Of care maybe. A care letter(?). But if these were symptoms or bits and pieces of love, in the romantic sense. I wouldn’t know, because I guess love will come differently to everyone else. But right now, when I think of you, my lungs are alright, my heart isn’t beating abnormally and my hands aren't shaking. In the time that I can confirm this is romantic love towards you, I guess I’ll write another letter to admit that to you. I learned in my time of writing to you that having unsaid thoughts and “feelings” have a choking effect on you. If anything, I’m telling you this because half of me confides in the fact that we might never meet again, and the fact that I know I’d rather not force these thoughts and feelings down my throat. I’ll admit to you that, even if we spent maybe a week? Or half a month? Hanging out with you and thinking back on it makes me feel like we spent ages growing up together and yet I can’t even recall your favorite color. Am I just forgetting that important detail or did I never ask? Maybe you would’ve gotten awkward if I asked that before, don’t people on dates usually ask that? I hate to say that this is most likely our last conversation. And you know what? I feel like I spent a good amount of time completing my bucket list in college. I made a new friend, “fell in love” I guess, and got through the 4 years with memories. Thank you for being part of my 4 years here, it was a blast. Might be the most I’ve done in my whole life, and.. one thing I have to admit before I end the letter.

I lied. I actually dislike americanos, I mean I don’t hate it, and I do drink it, but bitter isn’t usually the option I’d go for, the reason why I stuck with it was because you ordered it for me and in time.. I didn’t really mind the bitterness anymore, I guess I was distracted talking to you. I also disliked science projects, mainly because it’s never my forte and because I was never grouped up with someone who tried to cooperate with me. That day in the cafe where we first met? I didn’t actually think about anything, I was just- scared, no I wasn’t scared of you or anything, I was scared of what others will think when they look at me with you. I still do, and I think about it a lot whenever I write a letter to you. The rest are completely true though, I hated literature classes, I never liked math and I had a small hobby for swimming and I had my cousin’s birthday party today, and that I have 2 other friends. But the truest thing about me, in my letters? Is that I “loved” you, platonically or romantically, I can’t tell, it’s just as I said before, I have never been in love with someone romantically, maybe platonically but I don’t really know that feeling either. Maybe it’s unconfirmed but the fact that I dislike americanos but in turn ended up liking it, is true, because like I said before, I like coffee. And I’ll never really know if that’s true for me, maybe liking americano will or is just a phase because of your influence (?) but I never really lied to you have I? I like science, it’s just the projects I hate, I was thinking of some things on the day when we met. I was thinking about what others would think about me sitting in the cafe with you. So.. the fact that I can admit that I “loved” you, isn’t that technically true as well? This is exactly how my thoughts are right now in my head as I write, confusing but, it’s not everyday I can put my thoughts into words like this.

I’m going to end the letter like this, I think I’ve said everything that’s been burdening my heart, I think this is all that I can say. I may be someone normal and maybe I’m someone you probably have forgotten about a long time ago, but I’ll always remember you as someone I was probably romantically and/or platonically in “love” with. As we are parting ways, you don’t need to say anything regarding this because maybe I’ve already left but because I’m afraid of what you’ll say to begin with. If you feel the same way(?) you don’t have to admit anything to me, just accept the fact that I had the odd opportunity and sudden courage to tell you this. But believe that this, and the rest of my letters, were written with my whole heart and with good intentions and with the purest emotion and thoughts a human being can put into words.

Goodbye Y/N, I hope you read this a week later as you promised. (And that you will throw this out like I told you to do)

And I hope to see you soon in the future.

Sincerely yours,

Chris.

[sapphirelass]

You tell Arthur (3/3) - Sir Leon x Reader, Arthur x Sister!Reader

Hi!!! This is part 3, you will find part 1 here, and part 2 here!

To read this as x OC instead of reader insert: Click here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please note:

1: I don’t own any of the gifs used, nor any already established characters, so credit to the authors and original creators - You have done a phenomenal job :)

2: English is not my native language, as I was born and raised in Sweden. I have, however, studied English for almost a decade, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem, I just thought I’d let you know ;)

+ CEFR level C2 (due to passing the C1 advanced test with an A)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Word count: ≈ 2k

Warnings: Blood, injuries, awkward flirting

Enjoy! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(y/n) - your name

(y/n/n) - your nickname

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You tell Arthur (Part 3/3)

He sat down and made sure to place (y/n) on his lap to keep her injured body away from the cold floor. She sighed deeply and began closing her eyes.

“No, no, (y/n), you need to stay awake, alright? Do you hear me? Please, you must not close your eyes."

He ripped a piece of fabric from his coat and secured it against her wound using his belt. The soldier who brought them down had ripped the arrow from her chest violently, so the main focus now was to put as much pressure on it as possible. Leon noticed her drifting off to sleep again and panicked.

“(y/n/n), I need you to keep your eyes open, please! You-I... Why don’t you tell me a story? Something interesting you read in a book? Just talk to me, I beg you.”

And so they did. Together, they kept the conversation going all through the night, until the morning when Gwen was let into the cell by some of the guards.

“Guinevere.”

“It’s all I could get.”, she said, handing Leon a small piece of bread and a tiny bottle. “It’s alcohol.” Leon send her a questioning look before she quietly added, “good for cleaning wounds.”

(y/n) sent Gwen a tired but thankful smile before Leon kept talking.

“I don’t understand. What are you doing here?”

“Morgana sent me to talk to you, to make you see sense.”

He spat the bread out on the floor. “I’d rather starve.”

“Listen to me!! I’m going to help you escape!”

“You know what will happen if you get caught.”

“We have to find Arthur.”

“I have a good idea where he’ll be hiding.”

“Then I need to get you out of here.”, she glanced worriedly at (y/n). “Both of you.”

“How? It’s impossible, surely?”

“I am a trusted member of the court.”

Gwen explained her plan before quickly leaving to get back to work. Leon wasn't sure about the plan, sure they had no other choice, but it was dangerous for everyone involved. Gwen would be in serious trouble if Morgana found out what she had done, and (y/n)… he hated the thought, be was sincerely doubting if the princess - his old friend - would make it out of this battle alive. She was beaten up, still bleeding, and struggled more and more to stay awake with every passing hour, though, he reminded himself with a smile, she was still trying. Still fighting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roughly a day later, they were brought out of their daydreams by a jangling sound and noticed the key Gwen was pushing down the window. Leon grabbed it quickly and as soon as the sun had set, picked (y/n) up and left for Gwen’s house. The princess was looking even paler now, but he knew that this was their one chance.

They made their way through the woods as quickly as possible and found the cave where Leon thought Arthur was hiding before noon the next day. Gwen walked first and was suddenly grabbed by someone who luckily turned out to be Arthur.

“Guinevere!”, he pulled her in for a hug instead, relieved to find out that she was alright, and greeted his knight with a polite nod. “Sir Le-” That’s when he noticed his sister resting in the arms of their old friend. “(y/n)!?” He ran over and took her into his arms. “What happened to her?!”

Merlin took notice of the increased level of anger in Arthur’s voice and decided to interfere. “Arthur, she needs to be taken to Gaius. Now!”

The prince turned towards the cave but turned back around at the sound of Elyan’s voice from the cliffs above.

“We’ve been found! They’re almost upon us.”

Arthur turned towards Merlin. “Get Gaius!” He then addressed the rest. “We need to get out of here. Run!” He looked down at his sister, now unconscious in his arms. “Hold on, (y/n). Just a little longer…”

And then, they ran.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How is she, Gaius?”

“I’m afraid it is still too early to say, Sire. She lost a lot of blood and being severely dehydrated and malnourished is not helping.”

“But she will make it, right?”

“I would love to give you a definitive answer, but I do not want to lie or give you any false hope. I managed to stop the bleeding, no vital organs seem to have been hit - thankfully. The best we can do now is keep her warm and let her rest. If and when ska wakes she needs food and water at once.”

“If?!”

(y/n) heard the discussion between Gaius, her brother, and her best friend, but her eyes simply would not open. She could tell that someone was holding her hand, so she tried to squeeze it as hard as she could. It wasn’t much, but enough!

“(y/n)?!”

It was Arthur, and she desperately wanted to talk to him. Ask if he was alright. But alas, she couldn’t. Arthur had his moments, though, and seemed to catch on immediately.

“(y/n/n), (y/n/n), listen to me now. If you can hear me, please press my hand, okay.”

She did what her older brother asked, and heard him breathe a sigh of relief.

“You’re alive! Hah! She’s alive!”

(y/n) heard multiple people shuffle towards her and felt someone else grab her other hand - Leon. She took a deep breath and used all the strength she could muster to slowly open her eyes.

“Hey”, she whispered as loudly as she could and Arthur’s face instantly came into view.

He smiled kindly and bent down to give his sister a gentle hug. “Hey”, he said, his voice muffled by her hair. He then put his hands on her shoulders and stared straight into her eyes. “Never do that again. Never. Promise me that.”

She smiled and nodded.

“(y/n), seriously, I am going to need to hear it. Promise me that you won’t take a risk like that ever again?”

“Arthur” She let out a series of strained coughs causing Arthur and Leon to carefully help her sit before Merlin helped her with a bottle of water. She drank for a moment and swallowed deeply. “Thank you. Arthur, you know I can’t. No one knows what the future might hold. I promise that I will do my very best, though.”

Arthur did not seem particularly satisfied with that answer but chose not to argue about it now. “Right… Do you feel okay? Can you sit? Does anything hurt?”

(y/n) let out a chuckle, which unfortunately hurt so badly that she doubled over in pain. She quickly sat back up though and smiled gently at her extremely worried brother. “Yes, yes and yes - in that order. I feel, you know, as expected but still alive. It seems like I can sit up just fine, though it still hurts.”

“Where?”

“Mainly my stomach, but pretty much everywhere if I am honest. How are you doing?”

“As good as new.”

“Good” She smiled and turned to Leon instead. “And you?”

“(y/n)…”, he answered. “Do not worry about me, it’s you who are injured. I am so sorry I did nothing to save you. I-”

But (y/n) interrupted him. “Did nothing?!” She straightened up and reached for his hand. “Leon, I may not have been in perfect health these past… two? three? days, but I do know very well that I would not be alive now if it was not for you, and for that I am forever grateful.”

Arthur looked in confusion from his sister to their old friend. They had known each other for so many years now, but the prince noticed something new. Some kind of deeper understanding between the two of them - one he had never noticed before and did not quite understand…? He chose not to ponder upon it now, as there were more important matters at hand and walked over to Gwen after telling (y/n) to let him know immediately if she needed him or something changed. She nodded and turned her attention back to her friend.

“Here”, she mumbled. “Let me see.”

She pushed up the sleeves of Leon’s coat and gently brushed her fingers against his wrists. They were even worse than hers - nasty, blue bruises and dried blood.

“(y/n)… You need not worry, I assure you, I have had much worse.”

She sighed, pulling the sleeves down again. “You know, simply because matters could be worse does not mean they shouldn’t be regarded as serious.”

He looked at her adoringly. “You are right, of course. As always.” He moved closer and brushed some of her blond hair behind her ear. He took her face gently in his hand and they both leant closer but were abruptly interrupted.

“Here!” Leon pulled back immediately at the sound of Arthur’s voice. “Come and join me.”

(y/n) picked up on parts of her brother’s pep talk, listening proudly as he spoke of the round table and the equality it represented, but quickly felt herself giving in and falling back into unconsciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moment she woke up, she felt someone staring at her. She sat up slowly, still hurting, but feeling a lot better than she had before. (y/n) struggled only for a second and instantly felt a hand on her back helping her up.

“(y/n), you’re awake! How are you feeling?”

“Leon!”. She felt warm inside as she realized who it was, and ignored the pain as she embraced him tightly. “I’m so glad to see you. Are you okay?”

“Yes, (y/n/n), we are good. Listen, the battle is won, we need to get you back to Camelot. Your bother is waiting and Gaius wanted to treat your wound properly.”

“And what about my father?”

“He is alive, do not worry. He is understandably quite upset due to Morgana’s sudden betrayal, though I am sure he will be pleased to know that you are alright. Here, let me help you.” He put his arm around her shoulders and hoisted her to her feet. “Can you stand?”

She took a deep breath. “Almost, let’s go!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They were almost back in Camelot when Leon swallowed deeply and said, “Listen, (y/n)… When happened back there, before we left for battle...”

“You mean what almost happened?”

“I-”

“But didn’t thanks to Arthur?”

“Right.” He appeared more nervous than (y/n) had ever seen before. “I am deeply sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“Leon.”

“-Especially not when you were in such a weakened state-

“Leon.”

“But I want you to know that when you- or, or if you want to, then-”

“Leon!” He finally went quiet as she managed to catch his attention. She send him a kind smile and put her hand on his arm, causing him to take a step closer. “I do want to.”

“I-I… Are you sure?”

She giggled slightly. “About what - you?”

“I suppose?”

“Yes, without a doubt.”

“Well, in that case…”

He pulled her closer and the two childhood friends finally shared their first kiss. Their friendship had evolved over the years, at first mainly gotten stronger, but eventually blossomed into something the two five-year-olds who used to push each other into lakes and race to the top of trees never could have imagined.

They eventually pulled away and glanced nervously at each other.

“So…”

“That was...

“Yes…”

He cleared his throat. “Ehm.. perhaps we should head back?”

“Of course, you are right.” He reached for her hand and grabbed it gently.

“So, (y/n), what would you say about a picnic tomorrow? And perhaps a ride once you have healed properly?”

She blushed and smiled at his suggestion. “That sounds lovely! I have one condition, though.”

He froze at her words, not particularly liking the way it sounded, but naturally gave her a solemn nod. She placed her hand on his shoulder and looked at him seriously, however quickly failed to keep the act up and sent him a sweet smile instead. “You tell Arthur!”