#i get ignored blown off ppl just don't want me around

[killbenedictcumberbatchagain]

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[0anonnymouslyours0]

Hii! I love ur writing so much, I had a h/c fic idea for James but I can't write to save my life so I figured I'd request lmao. Feel free to ignore if it's not something ur interested in writing ofc.

I was thinking smtn where James asks out reader and they think it's a joke so they like walk away or tell him to fuck off or smtn and James is just so confused so the next day asks r wtf that was about and she's like "if ur gonna be a dick you shouldn't expect other ppl to just take it" or something and he's still confused and asks her what was happening so she explains what she thinks is going on and he like comforts her and tells her that he fr likes her

getting around to answering some requests... i took a short break but im thinking about writing a bit again. this is just cute fluff. little rusty tho. 💞

james potter is an absolute idiot.. truly. and yet, somehow, you've still had a crush on him for 3 years. it's truly a marvel. james and his friends, fondly referred to as the 'marauders', often play practical jokes. of course, when out of the blue on a random tuesday james sheepishly approaches you asking if you want to go to hogsmeade together, you think it's some sort of joke. a cruel trick of the universe, to tug on your poor pining heart. so you scowl at him, and turn straight on your heel and march off.

james and you have been friends for years, longer then you've ever liked him, so the only logical answer is that its all a joke. a cruel joke. and one, though you'd never say to anybody else, hurts. a lot. so, like the very mature person you are, you decide to ignore his existence for the rest of the day, and the following morning. when james gets remus, your loyal potions buddy, to past notes to you in class, you throw them straight in the bin; ignoring remus's skeptical stare, with an eye-roll and shrug. and just as you think you've evaded him the whole day, he corners you as you leave history of magic.

"whats wrong with you? you've been ignoring me all day? did i fuck up that bad?" he says, hot on your heels behind you as you storm through the hallway away.

"you know james, if your gonna be such a fucking dick about peoples feelings, you shouldn't just expect them to take it. and if you do, consider yourself no longer my friend. don't talk to me, stop passing notes, stop staring at me, and stop corning me on my way out of class!" you snap, turning to stare at him with your arms folded.

and james, well, james just pouts. a confused look spreads across his brow.

"i- i thought you liked me? and i really like you- and i don't understand, i truly wasn't trying to play with your feelings or- or anything like that!" he replies, sounding adorably confused and sincere, and you falter.

"you asked me out as a joke james! how is that anything but playing with my-"

"sorry what? no! i was very serious. i like you. a lot. have for a while and it's taking me so, so long to work up the courage. i've taken too long and now i've blown it." james cuts in, stepping forward into your space, except you don't back away.

"you.. weren't joking?"

"of course not!" he says, placing a hand on your shoulder. he looks rather upset actually, a frown on his face.

you blink at him, stepping closer.

"you actually meant it? you, er, like me?"

"head over heels." he confirms, with a smile spreading across his face

"well then, ill see on saturday night." you say, a small smile in return before turning rather quickly away to rush off to your dorm, a light blush coating your cheeks.

james twirls on the spot, throwing his fist in the air in a quiet "yes!" before dashing after you.

"wait! where do you wanna go because i was thinking something special? my treat- god let me treat you right!"

[divinelolita]

heyyy boo boo bear🥰🥰🥰

so i finally thought of smth(kinda did i alr send this) AHEM full band(separately headcannons cause aint nobody wanna write alat) with s bf who is a BIG ASS ppl pleaser(wait wait this aint the main idea)

so

imagine reader prolly always gets his back blown out but he's always giving the aftercare(like them mfs dont have a choice) and on one particular round or smth reader didn't tell them to stop when he started to feel lightheaded n shit cause he could hear them whispering how good this was etc etc so he was about to pass out or smth like that(he didn't he survived) yet he STILL offered to give aftercare like a mf idiot(me)

ANYWAY im in school but i had to give u this idea frfr

BAND X PEOPLE PLEASER READER

HELP I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA BE PURE FLUFF UNTIL I GOT TO THE FUCKING BACK BLOWN OUTTTTT

(contains nsfw themes so if you don't like that don't read)

BILL:

・He's 50/50 on noticing small things like this

・But he's in such a euphoric state, whimpers leaving his lips as he rams into you with his hands wrapped around your waist

・Listening to you tell him how good he is, but over time your words die down and eventually your silent.

・He can barley ask if your okay, nearly stopping his movements. He would've stopped completely if it weren't for you telling him to keep going. As long as he felt good, right?

・After climax (EWWWAHHH) he leans knto your neck, smiling as he hears you begin to ask that amazing question

"Wanna go show-"

"yes."

・He just likes your fingers running through his hair, massaging his scalp as you rub the conditioner in.

・He's been itching to ask if you were really okay, he doesn't want to seem too worried or overreactive. He can already feel tears prickling his eyes as yo hesitate to ask at the startxbefore admitting to feeling ill.

・God fucking damn it..I should've stopped I-"

"It's not your fault, babe.."

・Cuddling you for the rest of the day (or night), not being able to take his hands off you as he tries to make it up to you.

・No like...literally can't take his hands off you. If you eat later that day he seats you on his lap.

TOM:

・He gets caught up in his own pleasure.

・Like he won't really notice it when you slowly stop responding, or when you go a little too limp

・He's in some sorta headspace 😭

・Whispering to you how good you feel around him, how perfect you are..

・After allat, he eventually snaps out of it and notices how your barley making any noise or aren't talking

"M/N? .. M/N you okay???"

"Hmmm..? Yeah I'm good..wanna take a bath with me.?"

・During aftercare he keeps asking if you're okay under his breath, kissing your cheeks as you rest in the tub together.

・If you actually confess to feeling ill or lightheaded his heart stops for a second

・HE ACTUALLY FEELS SO BAD STOPPP

・Like he'd kinda try to hide it, but eventually emotions get the best of him and soon enough he's holding back tears apologizing to you kissing over your neck, ignoring you when you say you were fine.

GEORG:

・Like Tom, he's not exactly the best..

・Telling you how good you are for him under his breath, not exactly noticing you slowly stopped responding.

・Can't help but feel concerned, unsure if he should stop or keep going

・He nearly did, but your hand gripped his thigh to stop him from pulling out so..

・Afterwards he puts on your favorite show/movie, snuggling against you as he leaves kisses on your forehead.

・Doesn't ease into it and just asks you flat out.

"Were you okay..?"

"What-"

"yes or no."

・no

・He feels a lump build at the back of his throat, yet he still tries to talk to you

・Asking when or what made you feel this way, making sure he would never do this to you again

・He feels bad about it a few days later, even with your constant worss that you were okay

・He's scared to have sex with you again for a little...THAT SOUNDS SO WEIRD BUT IT'S TRUE?

・Like I said- he doesn't want to put you through that again

・but likeeee you need that dick so you convince him and it all works out

GUSTAV:

・HE'S TOO SWEET STOP

・He's quite good at noticing things like these.

・Stopping his movements when you start to look..off. Or when you just stop making noise completely.

・Ignoring your soft whine of protest, asking you "Are you good..?" ..no you're not. you're gonna say you're not and -

"Yeah I'm fine...keep going please..!"

・Hesitate before going back to his pace he was at before, kissing your chest and neck as his fingers go down your waist and tickles down your thighs

・Still concerned he can't really hear your moans or whines, but you said you wanted more so he should continue..

・He's sooxfucking tired after sex omg..hes surprised when you ask to give aftercare

"Are you sure? You don't wanna like..sleep?"

"No, no. Let's go get water or something."

・Giving you an aspirin and a water bottle as he gets a piece of candy, not being able to take his eyes off you as he contemplates if he should ask if your okay.

・he does. you answer.

・HE WANTS TO CRY WHAT

・Like..he made you feel lightheaded? He made you nearly pass out? He made you sick?

・Can't even bother to look at himself or think about him, only focusing on you and your needs as he spoils you rotten.

[annislittleshopofhorrors]

Hai annie, why do you think he is going to portugal right now? I want to believe this is pr but him showing up in portugal make me more lean to real side.// that's the point bestie,if u keep telling lie after sometime uptown some level ppl gonna believe that it's Not a lie,specifically those who don't know the whole stories or not paying attention.and u also ignoring the main aspect of PR to be seen, to be get talked about.yes in this case result has been backfired but again they had to do what they had to do.so practically we can't expect that it will go away just like that before that time.as per my observation people think, assume and choose to believe that since its blown up and since he is not comfortable around her, he will totally cut off everything and move on and won't do anything stupidity anymore,but that's not how that work.i don't like it either, and I also think it's safe to think they don't liking the outcome either but still they have to fulfill until right time.

Anon to anon

[illnessfaker]

do you have any resources on OSDD? like more in depth than just the diagnostic criteria, i'm very familiar with those, i guess more...people talking abt what it feels like? I have cptsd and I've been noticing things very similar to what you described in your post for a long time now. I thought I had DID for sure a while ago, but I was also actively manic/psychotic, so when that calmed down I assumed I had just been delusional. But the identity disturbances and dissociation persist. I don't think it's DID now it's osdd if it's anything but I'm wary of saying that for sure and rly would like some i guess more descriptive accounts of how symptoms are for someone with it. Sorry if this is a lot/you don't have anything of that nature, I'm glad to hear you're figuring out your own multiplicity and hope the understanding helps you in your healing process!

firstly, thank you for your kind words 😊

@/this-is-not-dissociative has a lot of info about did/osdd-1 (and other dissociative stuff) as well as having did/osdd-1 vs. dissociation in bpd/cptsd - though it's possible to have did/osdd-1 and bpd/cptsd of course - and did-research.org talks about osdd-1 a little bit (especially vs. having full-blown did). these are probably the best resources i can point you towards even though they don't contain many personal accounts. the first blog is staunchly against self-dx iirc and there's a lot of "you should speak to a professional about this" but u know how it is (at the very least they provide a lot of info and resources on how to go about doing that, it seems.)

some posts in particular that may be informative/helpful to you (there are probably many reasons to dislike this blog but it's what i've found most informative so yeah):

anp and ep, + an explanation of structural dissociation and how it models ptsd, cptsd, bpd, osdd-1, and did.

anp and avoiding trauma

an example of did vs. osdd-1

parts in bpd/cptsd vs. osdd-1

parts in cptsd vs. osdd-1 (this mod "kevin" has osdd-1, by the way)

parts vs. fragments vs. alters

alters not being easy to recognize

identity confusion vs. identity alteration

( read-more bc this got long despite it being past my bedtime lmao )

the problem w personal accounts of stuff and did/osdd-1 is presentations of these diagnoes will differ from person to person, sometimes greatly. contrary to media depiction they're also covert disorders by nature - they're psychological coping mechanisms for intense distress, and part of those coping mechanisms is being ignorant to the fact that your sense of self is fragmented / there are parts of your sense of self that are attached to trauma. i know of several folks who were initially diagnosed with osdd-1 but then later re-diagnosed as having did because the severity of their situation was very effectively hidden from them by this dissociation.

( another problem is that ppl are flawed and can give bad/wrong info on how stuff works or trends can give the wrong impression and unfortunately that's very common w did/osdd-1 spaces online. e.g. u don't have to know the name, age, etc. or know who's "fronting" or whatever with elaborate tagging systems and pages on ur blog with said info abt ur parts or "alters" to have did/osdd-1. worrying abt that stuff too much can worsen dissociation. )

it's not common for someone to have did/osdd-1 and for it to be obvious to themselves or others (who don't know what to look for, that is). this is why no small number of folks with did/osdd-1 are seemingly well-functioning on the outside since different dissociated parts often serve "everyday life" purposes such as going to work/school and these parts are the ones disconnected from traumatic "materials" as they're called. part of the reason why i'm wanting to conceptualize my experiences as osdd-1 is due to the fact that my default state (the "host"?) is emotionally dissociated from my trauma - i know it happened, but it seemed like it happened to "this body" rather than "me" and i don't feel anything about it until i get triggered. "apparently normal parts" that handle everyday life are usually trauma-avoidant or separated from the trauma like this in some way.

that being said, i'm still not totally sure if i qualify for an osdd-1 diagnosis or not tbqh. my situation is most like the "some individuals with OSDD-1 lack both amnesia and highly distinct parts" mentioned in the page i above linked (but yesterday and this morning/afternoon i was convinced i did - go figure). i'd been researching did/osdd-1 for a while (not necessarily because i thought it was what i was experiencing) which is part of what helped me come to terms with having experienced dissociation for a long time, and i thought up until like...the other day i definitely didn't have it. i came to believe i had some weird bpd/cptsd/szpd-like situation where emotional states had been "locked away" in boxes that i rarely touched as a defense mechanism against psychological distress. i also had a metaphor for my "emotional part(s)" as it/them being like, (a) ghost(s) that follow me around and aren't evil but occasionally "wrap their hands around my throat" to remind me that they're there.

then i saw someone w an osdd-1 diagnosis talk abt how they have parts whose "job" is to "feel sadness for them" as a defense mechanism against that kinda distress and then i was like...huh. and then i thought about how seeing my parents again felt kinda weird and distant. and that's kinda what tipped me off, despite having a pretty unstable sense of self and dissociation issues for a while. the "seeing my parents" thing is somewhat more major, because it felt different from my "default setting." thinking about it is uncomfortable and weird.

ur gonna have to do a lot of reading, tbh, and doing it in moderation is probably a good idea since thinking too much abt dissociation can trigger it. another thing is that conceptualizing yourself as having did/osdd-1 when you don't actually have that experience can worsen dissociation/identity issues as well so u gotta be careful abt how u approach it. but at the same time, cptsd and did/osdd-1 have mostly the same treatment methods anyway (and technically u gotta have cptsd to have did/osdd-1, not as like a diagnostic requirement really but a "you have to be traumatized from long-term traumatic experiences at a young age" sense) so many resources abt did/osdd-1 may be helpful to u regardless of whether you "have" them or not.

i can't tell u how to differentiate between symptoms of psychosis and did/osdd-1 (the blog i mentioned may have posts about that topic - there's two in their master-posts but neither were particularly helpful i don't think) since afaik i'm not psychotic but i wish you luck!