#i get So Fucking Paranoid if a friend doesn't respond to me within what i deem to be a reasonable amount of time

[silenced-deer]

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[cartoonghosts]

as someone who experiences paranoid delusions (not psychosis levels but still very upsetting!), this is absolutely true. Last time I had a severe one, I was speaking to the person I was convinced was trying to kill me (were in a platonic relationship so he didn't just ghost me forever luckily) and although I don't blame him, instead of doing this, he fought me and tried to convince me I was wrong (clearly I was but IT DOESNT MATTER) and escalated the situation (why would he be denying it if it wasn't true?) to the point where what should have been a 10 or 15 minute issue ended up lasting hours and seriously freaking me out. Ideally, he would have responded to my accusations of him trying to kill me by being like 'okay, I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone' (which I was repeatedly yelling at him to do although I made no moves to end the conversation because I tend towards fight reflex rather than flight and needed him to back down first) and leaving, and I would have spent a few minutes calming down and realizing that hey maybe. That wasn't actually what was going on. My delusions aren't incredibly serious (they tend to be either very short or more minor if they last longer) but at any level of delusion you do not want to argue. It just makes everything worse.

Even with positive delusions, this is true. I'm often convinced I can do a certain thing that I repeatedly have proven I cannot do or should not do for my health (sometimes it's climbing trees, which I'm skilled at ascending but my fear of heights fucks me over REAL bad once I'm I'm them, often it's actions that absolutely will get me hurt, such as eating random plants I find, jumping off cliffs and ledges, etc) and the best way to deal with these is not to challenge them, or say that I can't do them, because in my mental state I'll just be pissed abs want to prove that I can. Ideally (and what my friends do) people will just move onto a different subject (Ex: 'I could go jump that gap super easily' 'oh cool! Want to go find some flowers?'). I also get general delusions (my most common is that everyone is obsessed with me and in love with me, it's a coping mechanism) and most of my friends do the correct thing and ignore it (my best friend affirms it and says they should be which doesn't exactly help it go away but. Like. He's not wrong and it helps with my self esteem a lot) but my therapist has confronted it while it was still going on which really really hurt and ended up with me having an anxiety attack later that day.

Generally, just dont challenge delusions. Be reasonable, but be reasonable WITHIN THEIR REALITY. If you try to 'snap someone out of it' you're just going to hurt them and make you someone they don't trust.

Is telling a psychotic person who knows they are psychotic “hey you might be having an episode right now” a good idea or is it essentially like arguing with them about their delusions?

horrible idea‼️‼️ whenever people do this to me it's very frustrating because it genuinely feels like i'm being gaslit in the moment

[clumsyclifford]

hello!! i am back and on desktop this time. the blog is just as pretty. alex + yellow = v v attractive jfc. this is a long one so buckle in.

to begin: i hope you have the most fun on your day road trip and sing your heart out to atl and taylor swift. i love driving long distances and idk just driving in general is fun. have the absolute best time MWAH

my birthday is in november!! november 23 to be specific. i share it with miley cyrus which is something i always found to be very cool when i was growing up and watching hannah montana. it also means i am a sagittarius and funny little fact i realized is that my best friend is a gemini. alex and jack are also a sagittarius and a gemini. from being 13 i know that tyler and josh from twenty one pilots are also a sagittarius and a gemini. something about sagittarius and gemini besties idk.

also yeah!! ao3 year in review!! it's a bit complicated to figure out at first and if you read a lot the finding pages thing can be pretty tedious, but it's def worth it once you figure it out. it gives you a lot of different stats about everything you read and it's pretty cool. now i am going to go look at your fics to remember my favs. you deserve the praise so i am willing to offer it. jeez you write a lot i respect the motivation sm. you write quite a bit of angst and i won't lie i try to stay away from angst so i haven't read your fics that seem super angst-y based on the tags. BUT there are still so many i recall reading and loving nonetheless. on a quick scroll-through: i usually don't read high school AUs but "paint me in trust (i'll be your best friend)" was super adorable and lovely. "thank god i'm yours" is one of my favs iirc. also i love love love "it's not always easy (but i'm here forever)" like yes please romanticize alex gaskarth i love it sm. "i won't be silent (and i won't let go)" and "i fell asleep in a city that doesn't" are both super fluffy and romantic and are favs of mine. in case you haven't picked up on it i adore very fluffy and romantic fics lmao. alright i am continuing to scroll and there are so many more i could list that i love but this section is getting quite long. just know if it's about a kitchen or hotel rooms being for lovers i probably read it and adored it and that pov is so valid.

waterparks!! will not lie i only really started listening to them about 6 months ago having been distantly aware of their existence for several years by being a fan of bands in the same genre. listen as long as you let yourself be vaguely annoyed by awsten is prevents you from being in love with him. follow him on any social media platform for like a day and you'll be sick of him typing in nothing but all caps within hours. simply do not romanticize him and you can keep yourself from falling!! so this is coming from a slightly fake parx fan, but some of my favs by them have been peach (lobotomy), crave, numb, fuzzy, violet!, you'd be paranoid too, and lowkey as hell. that is a very songs-from-their-most-recent-album-heavy rec, but whatever. i did give the disclaimer about being a fake parx fan.

yeah hayley does have 2 solo albums now!! petals for armor and flowers for vases / descansos. pfa is the one i didn't really like upon first listen but has grown on me. i haven't even listened to the second one in its entirety oops but we won't mention it. dead horse is good but simmer (pretty sure that was the other single??) just ain't it for me. the album has some lovely songs but it's just a hit or miss album all the way through. some favs of mine on it include pure love, taken, crystal clear, watch me while i bloom, and why we ever. it's sorta a storyline album about healing if that adds anything to it?? but anyways. i started listening to paramore around the time after laughter dropped and it grew to be one of my fav albums in existence. idle worship is probably one of my fav songs like ever. i def understand being slightly put off by bands with songs that make religious references (me with twenty one pilots' earlier music that makes a lot more religious references considering i'm not religious whatsoever) but i think i am blinded by being in love with hayley williams and just ignore it. idk that she's like super religious?? she's addressed believing in god and stuff a few times but she's def not the "rub it in your face" type and if she's making refs in music more recently then they're subtle enough i'm not noticing them. ik albums like brand new eyes had a lot more because it was shortly after that the band split and the songwriting process was essentially her and ex-bandmate co-songwriter arguing about their religious beliefs (turns out he ended up being super homophobic and transphobic all based on his religion so do with that what u will and thank the clown for leaving). i feel u on the "i meant to start listening to them" because that's essentially how i started listening to them. i told myself i was going to and then finally forced myself to do it. fuck falling for awsten knight what's more risky is falling in love with hayley </3

also yeah!! you've articulated my feelings towards tde. every song is so vastly different that it's hard to like it all. #1 fan is pretty decent though, and that's not just my bias about finding both ross and his gf hot and a cute couple and getting to see them together and ross half naked in a mirror in the video nope not at all. he's my fav himbo!! he has no personality!! no thoughts head empty!! i still love him and his strawberry-growing saga on twitter tho <3 the hazard of being in love with ross lynch since i was 12. girlfriend better be a fucking banger and there's quite a few already released singles in the tracklist so i have hope. i believe my show is in chicago on november 19 which is a thursday. kinda sucks since i intentionally bought the chicago tix nearly two years ago (the show was originally supposed to be april 25 2020. lol.) because the show was on a saturday and i have to drive 3 hours to get there. obviously i can't speak for them as tde but r5 shows always fucking slapped and i can vouch for them (realized i haven't seem them live since 2016?? 5 YEARS?? wtf) so if u genuinely like them. would recommend going to see them.

anyways. i have not listened to luke's solo album yet. i plan on it. this has gotten so long but i tried to respond in all areas and even organized it in different paragraphs this time (thanks being on desktop!!). hope you are well. hope you have a lovely day. hmm what's a little "going on in my life" fact. i got new glasses a few days ago and my eyes essentially said fuck off because adjusting to the new prescription has left me with eyes that hurt and occasionally slightly nauseous. here is to hoping my eyes get their shit together. mwah LOVE YOU TOO - the other bella/cubs anon/idk

okay hi hello. i have put this off because holy hell it's long but let's do it. i am putting a cut because this whole thing is long even without my answer

first: the road trip was super fun thank you!!! i am intrigued by this information regarding sags and geminis, we should do some scientific inquiry. enquiry. i don't know if there's a difference between those words.

aha! well i tried the ao3 year in review thing and i would say it had about 55% accuracy but still i agree it's fun to look back at that kind of stuff. and i feel you on the angst thing i go through phases of writing angst-heavy stuff and then writing very fluffy stuff and it is entirely based on my mental state buuuut i have lots of fluff and i'm glad you found it all and that you liked it yay <333 KITCHENS ARE FOR LOVERS i will die on that fuckin hill. hotel rooms as well but primarily kitchens.

dfgjhgdlfkhgdfmj honestly i dont use twitter enough that i would see his tweets enough that that would bother me also the fact that he tweets in all caps means that i just picture him yelling everything he tweets which i find absolutely hysterical so i don't think that would help. i have added these parx songs to my listen asap playlist and will get to them when i get a chance thank you i am excited also i already know lowkey as hell and it slaps super hard so im very much lookin forward to the rest of these. merci merci

YEAH simmer was the one i didnt vibe with. and honestly i feel zero compulsion to get into hayley williams as a solo artist. i just don't vibe enough to want to do that so i doubt i'll be listening to her anytime soon but maybe if i hear the songs in passing or get super bored one night, idk who can really say. but yeah christianity typically puts me off of music (speaking as a very jewish bitch) although there are notable exceptions in the cases of thomas rhett and the driver era. i'm just not attached to hayley enough to be like ehhh this doesnt matter. does that make sense

FAVORITE HIMBO PLEASE HGSDFGDFGKLFGJ i dont follow him on twitter but i have seen some interviews of ross and rocky and tbh they're great i love the way ross speaks like i like his speech mannerisms and i like his FACE and HAIR and. yeah. i think hes pretty. and i think he and 5sos SHOULD collab i think that would be sexy as hell. can you imagine that. oh my god can you imagine a ross lynch/luke hemmings collab. i'm not even really talking to you anymore bella because i know you haven't listened to luke yet and don't have a stake in it but if anyone else is reading this long ass answer. ross & luke collab. okay im going to move on and not think about that now. but i probably won't see tde unless i get a job this semester because i'm trying to stop spending so much money on big indulgent things like concerts likeee i was in a really good habit of not spending that much and then suddenly i got paid for one summer and i was just goin Crazy and i need to dial it back. plus i wanna see ajr and noah kahan equally bad so like. i have to make some calls about priorities here. it's Much to think about

good luck to your eyes i'm sure your new glasses are hella cute tho!!! LOVE YOUUUUUUU

[araraujooficial]

First of all, hi dear @Ritrox. As a member of the Avatar fandom and an admirer of your work, of you, it’s a relief to know that you are in no way associated with @Nattikay , given all the controversy surrounding her proven extremely prejudiced behavior. I can only imagine how uncomfortable it must have been to have your name linked to hers in any way. And I can imagine how insecure and scared you must have felt, even becoming defensive to try and protect yourself (I’ve been through a similar situation, so I completely understand you)

But I’d like to talk about your reaction to @Nin3kyuu ’s hot take where she said: “You can do whatever you want with your OCs, but I personally fucking hate the albino/small/blue-eyed/blond and very unique, legendary, mythical Na'vi/Avatar/Recom trope, like, we get it, you're white...”

You’re practically painting a picture where you’re claiming @Nin3kyuu ’s hot take was directed at you, when that absolutely wasn’t the case, as it’s one of the most random statements to make within the Avatar fandom, where there are tons of albino/white OCs (Na'vi/Recom/Avatar) due to some genetic flaw/disability. So, anyone could relate to this, myself included, since she basically described my main OC and the OCs of many of my friends, of her friends. And neither I nor they were offended or took her comment as a personal attack.

In moments like the one you went through (and I have been through it too) it’s common to feel randomly attacked, and we end up becoming a bit paranoid about it. But we shouldn’t normalize this; You’re basically attacking someone else publicly and painting them as the villain for no reason.

What I’ve learned from these situations is that the best thing we can do is stay quiet if we’re innocent. By responding like this, you’ve ended up embodying the saying, “if the shoe fits” Learn to defend yourself without the need to attack others. This is advice, not a personal attack. (I also have medical conditions and disabilities, but I think if that’s not the topic, it shouldn’t be brought up, as it makes it seem like you’re trying to play the victim and in doing so, trying to gain others’ sympathy to win an argument without valid evidence or arguments)

I'm saying this as an admirer of your work, of you, as someone who has been through a similar situation and as @Nin3kyuu ' s friend.

This is one of the pieces of advice I wish I had received in the past: being hurt doesn’t give you the right to hurt others, and having been a victim doesn’t give you the right to paint others as villains.

If you're living a happy life, where you're not harming yourself or anyone else, and not going against the limits of ethics and morality, just live your life and be happy without needing to justify yourself to anyone. If you know in your mind that you’re right, you don’t need to prove it to anyone. When you try to do that, it makes it seem like you’re the one in the wrong.

The world doesn't revolve around you, or around me, it just revolves (i'm not more important than anyone else, and no one is more important than me, the same goes for anyone else, for you) most of us are just people trying to live our lives the best we can and leave a good mark on the world before we go. People are diverse in every possible way, each one is made up in a unique way, both physically and mentally. You’ll find many people who agree and others who completely disagree with you throughout your life. It’s important to know how to deal with differences and respect everyone. Except if they are prejudiced (N4z1, r4c1, x3n0/lgbtqph0b1c, etc.) or repulsive (p3d0s, z00s, n3cr0s, etc.) people, then it’s better to just block them.

I would like to make it clear: I am the artist behind @signfromeywa and I have NOTHING to do with Nattikay!

I have never ever written to, or with this person!

Furthermore, I have never been contacted and informed about the situation. So I really didn't know what was going on.

I would like to distance myself once again from Nattikay! I do not stand behind her statements and find them highly unacceptable!

Me and my blog is a safe space for EVERY person! There is no place for hate on my blog! No one is being discriminated because of their skin color, origin, religion or sexuality!

I stand up for minorities and am there for them.

I created Ayluna with the idea that she has more human DNA than the normal avatars and that she has a disability as a result. She has a disability due to the dominant human DNA. I wanted to portray the struggle with a disability with this character because I myself suffer greatly from my chronic illness and my disability! I wanted to spread awareness about it. She still has blue stripes and some blue pigments in her skin! She is not an albino, I see her as a very human hybrid. You can read more about her story and idea below. I'll link you something. Since there are also white snow Na'vi, I thought the concept of ayluna would be okay. She was in no way created out of racist ideas!

After everything I have written, I would like to make it clear once again that I have nothing to do with this and I have blocked Nattikay on the spot!

In the future I would like people to approach me directly and discuss problems with me instead of accusing me of something so serious!

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Also, the hashtags under the post (mentiont above from @nessa-harp) and the post in general were an attempt to be funny on my part. I wasn't trying to spread hate or argue with anyone. I thought it was funny. I have already removed the hashtags!

Everything I wrote was a tribute to @nin3kyuu's post and I did no have ill intensions just a bad sense of humor :/