#i genuinely just sit and think... why am i alive what purpose do i still have to serve to be on this earth

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Unfortunately me is in reading slump and lowk out of atz hyperfix(ati)on

How's u ewwme

-constipated anon

my reading slump only applies to real books apparently (bc tell me why it is a struggle to read a single page of an actual book but fanfics? i'm devouring series). buttt there is still a bit of a writer's slump it's quite a struggle to physically write even tho i actually want to.

BUT i hope you overcome everything. it's okay to not be hyperfixated. we've all got so much to deal with so keeping up with your obsessions becomes hard, and that's perfectly fine. and i hope your reading slump passes soon! try reading sth entirely different or maybe just take a break from reading altogether

[hillbillyoracle]

I get why tradwife content is so appealing - but it's not for the reasons they think.

Some information upfront: I am trans (nonbinary - GNC), hormonally intersex, queer, and have been partnered with a trans woman for going on seven years. I became progressively disabled and eventually was not able to go to school or work. I slipped into the housespouse role, especially as I started to regain some measure of functioning. Even though it was never my goal to be in this role, especially not for this long, for the last several years I've helped run progressive spaces and resources for non-traditional homemakers.

I say all this to situate what I write next. Please note: once again, I use AMAB and AFAB because not everyone around me IDs with their AGAB but what I want to talk about here breaks down along AFAB and AMAB lines in my experience. Yours may differ.

I considered writing up this morning - my family's Christmas - as an example of the various kinds of normalized incompetency I see in the AMAB folks around me embodying but I imagine most people who are going to relate to what I'd say on any level have their own stories. I think we're reaching a point where even sharing examples for the purpose of teaching can be demoralizing because we really just wind up seeing how completely mundane AMAB obliviousness or even outright hostility is. I don't want to add to that. But picture a fairly stereotypical scene - my AMAB partner making us late, AFABs all doing the invisible labor of making it go smoothly (grabbing cups before full grown adults knocked them over, dealing with trash and tidying, sorting and organizing, noticing each other's feelings and tending to them, etc) while AMAB folks laughed about how little the knew about the presents that had been purchased and generally kicked back. That was my morning.

It's not an experience that seems that miserable on it's face. No one said anything cruel. No one got hit. None of us are sitting in an ER. We're alive. But you could look around the room and see how my sister and I especially were just fucking tired by the end of it. AFAB exhaustion is just the going rate for family holidays it seems.

At one point this morning, when I tried to voice my frustrations to my partner she flat out said to me "No one asked you to do that." People who've shared some of my experiences will get why that statement always stings without me having to say it. It's the ultimate get out of jail free card for her - you know you will still face the consequences if you didn't get that work done and now it won't even be appreciated or the cost to you considered. It can be genuinely heartbreaking to hear. Implicit in it is the expectation that you always have to ask for what you want and need - though you usually won't get it without also giving detailed instructions every single time making it easier to just do it yourself - with no amount of learning patterns or generally empathizing being necessary on their part. Problem solved I guess.

Which brings me to my opening statement. The appeal of tradwife content is in the idea that it is possible to be happy in a relationships in which your needs are not anticipated, desires are only rarely considered, and your emotions are not responded to.

And I know they would argue differently - that's fine - but I've watched people in my communities flirt with the ideas before and I can tell you, it is not coming from some genuine belief in the bioessentialism that the TradWife crowd espouses. It's firmly rooted in disillusionment with the narratives we've been fed about what good and healthy relationships "should" be.

Let's use an imperfect analogy. All the content out there about building healthier relationships are like those authors who teach other people how to write and publish their first novels. Even among avid followers and people who follow the course - not all of them are going to wind up getting publishing deals like author teachers did. But when that's all you ever see about books on your feed, it starts to feel like everyone is figuring out how to do this and you just...suck for some reason. Now imagine that you publishing a book was seen as a vital part of the queer movement and everyone you knew had written these great books. Imagine that talking about how difficult you're finding it to write this book was not only seen as a threat to the larger movement but also made you a leech or otherwise dangerous or bad. That's what so much relationships content feels like these days.

There's a lot of nuance to this I'm not going to be able to capture; how the taker/giver dynamic still often gets reproduced in AFAB/AFAB relationships but generally along lines of any privilege disparities rather than strictly presentation, how transmasculine folks occupy a very liminal space in this conversation because other forms of privilege can impact it how the dynamic plays out so much, how trans/queer theory hasn't developed many robust models and methods for thinking through how queer and trans folks repeat toxic conditioning in their relationships with each other, etc.

But at the end of the day, the reason I see most people dip into it - why I myself have read through their blogs looking for answers - is because the messages we're told about what relationships should be like don't match the reality of the choices we really have available to us, especially when it comes to being with AMAB folks.

The fact that so many people cannot seem to sit with is that some people have no choice but to be single and some people do not really have the choice to be single. Health care, survival needs being met, access to family members and friends, transportation, etc can all be dependent on staying with someone who does the least. Making the best out of mediocre and unfulfilling relationships is a strategy for survival.

TradWife content not only makes overfunctioning seem possible long term but meaningful in some way that the relationship itself is not. I'm sure many of those content creators really love their husbands. But emotional intimacy is rarely discussed in these spaces. It does not seem to be highly valued. And it can almost be a relief when compared to spaces that harp on the basics you're giving but not receiving so regularly, where you not leaving is seen as enabling or leeching/gold digging stead of the economic dead end that it actually is. It is both a haven and a new hell.

Queer, trans, and disabled homemakers are effectively in the alleyway between houses, instead of in a house of our own. We're running between the eaves trying to stay dry. In one space we're told that our queerness/transness is good but our unhappiness in our relationships are seen as a threat to the cause and our difficulty leaving is seen as regressive and even exploitative (which ignores all the domestic labor we do). In the other space, we're told that our domestic labor is a beautiful gift and that there's something transformative about giving without expecting in return - a tempting ideal - but that our transness and queerness are the reason for our unhappiness.

This is all just to say I get it. While I don't support TradWife content and always shoot down bioessentialism in the spaces I'm in, I also get the appeal of the idea that the work itself is something you're meant for, that that kind of caring can fill the void of never really receiving it. I get the appeal of a space that values your labor instead of erasing it as just expected and calling you a leech.

I'm glad there's good content out there for building healthier and more enjoyable relationships for those who can both genuinely pursue it. But the older I get, the more I've seen that that is a very small portion of those in relationships and those available. Many of us are even more constrained n our options and maligned in our choices. The dearth of resources on making things work in the relationships that are okay but ultimately unfulfilling means people will continue to turn to things like TradWife content.

[kafkaoftherubble]

好想写点解析、论文之类。因为俺的心情真的挺低迷。

Because writing rambles and essays makes me forget my "self."

When I write, all I see are facts, knowledge, ideas, thoughts, theories, hypotheses, what-ifs, speculations, conjectures—little seeds of intellect. I'd collected them at other times, and now I pour them all over this big, wide empty plot and begin to connect them and have them grow into a meadow.

There is no "me" in this activity.

I'm there, in the meadow, in the essay, but I'm in the connectors and the arrangement of the arguments. I'm the connective tissue in the ramble. I'm not an entity of my own. I'm not a subject or an object in the text. Neither do I exist as something outside and above the text. I'm simply one of an essay's many, many elements. If an essay is a meadow, then I'm not the earth where it grows from, nor the flowers that bloom, nor the stems that support the buds, nor the leaves that keep them alive, nor the colors of their petals, nor the shapes and sizes of their blossom. I'm the spaces between the flowers and tall grasses, right down to the spaces between their roots in the earth. I'm the arrangement. Nobody needs to know or notice me to understand my writing, because when I write such essays I don't think, "Well, is there enough of me in it?"

When I'm writing them, I don't feel inferior or superior or low in self-esteem or conceited-as-fuck or thinking it fucking sucks or thinking this is gonna revolutionize humanity. I don't feel anything but some quiet, neither-here-nor-there bliss. All that stuff comes after it is done.

Writing academic essays and rambles is an egoless exercise. I don't need to react; I just need to respond to the seeds for the purpose of connecting them. Even if I bring in an experience or thought process or quality or flair or voice to my writing that stems from my person, it's still egoless because it's for the effort of granting that essay a perspective and attitude... instead of trying to earnestly convince others about how interesting a "self" I am and why they should definitely stay.

Besides, my intelligence doesn't amount to much, but... When I write essays, I engage with my intelligence and that makes me feel like I'm a vehicle of something genuinely amazing. I'm sure if someone else possessed my intelligence, they would have output far greater things than I ever could. But even being able to channel a limited output is enrapturing to me right now.

When I write stuff like that, my "self" doesn't matter. And so I don't become fixated on whatever downer mood the self is experiencing. If the self is a mirror, then all these moods are the dust and hair and sebum or whatever caking it. But if I never had a mirror, where could all this dust and stuff even possibly be gathered in the first place?

I do still own a mirror though. We did. Each of us had been trying to make it smaller and smaller throughout the years, but it's still there. My mirror still gets caked in shits, and my "self" feels so forlorn. But writing these sorts of essays makes the mirror nonexistent for a moment. And then it reappears again after I finish—when I quiveringly show it to the world and sit and wait and desire some sort of engagement and response.

Anyway, I can't write nothing. I haven't finished the last bit of my quota and I'm behind schedule. That's what happens when you got sick, but your job is with a client that demands quite a lot of chapters from you.

[nortnaibz]

if we dont get to talk to them abt the house on wednesday im seriously going to lose it <3

[marc-spectorr]

✨HELLO✨

one muse is patching up the other’s injuries which leads to intense eye contact,  lingering touches and them finally crashing their lips against each other’s + our fave flyboy Poe? 🥰🥰🥰

pairing: poe dameron x reader

warnings: mentions of blood & injuries. fluff 

“I need to take off your shirt.”

“Well, at least buy me dinner first, sweetheart.”

You narrow your eyes into slits at Poe’s remark. If he wasn’t already terribly banged up the way he is now, you would have slapped him into another galaxy. You may have a lot of patience, but at this second, it’s running extremely low, especially after your commander over here got himself shot by a stormtrooper after his attempt in a heroic stunt. 

You had things under control on your end. Poe apparently didn’t think that was the case.

“You know what, fine. Have it your way,” you huff out, pushing the first aid kit at him before rising back to your feet. “For someone at a high risk of bleeding out on the jungle floor, you sure have to make things difficult.”

“I was kidding, geez,” he grunts as he sits up straighter against the bark of the tree behind him. “I cope with humor, can’t you tell?”

“You call that humor?” Rolling your eyes, you kneel back beside him and make quick work of his buttons before carefully peeling the shirt open, revealing his lean yet defined body.

You swallow dryly, hoping Poe wouldn’t notice how quiet you suddenly are.

“See something you like, sweetheart?” 

You ignore Poe’s comment this time, focusing now on the blaster wound marring his side. Fortunately, it’s not as bad as you both had initially thought. This doesn’t mean that the pain isn’t excruciating, and he could still bleed out if you don’t fix him up right then and there.

“So what’s the prognosis, doc? Am I going to live?”

“Do you ever stop talking?” You question him, half-joking, half-serious. “I swear, sometimes I think you’re doing this on purpose just to annoy me.”

Poe lets out a hiss as you gently apply the bacta patch to his skin. It wipes that cocky smirk off his face, which was now replaced with a grimace. “Annoy you? Sweetheart, I promise that it’s never my intention to annoy you.”

“And why do you keep calling me that? Sweetheart? I’m not your sweetheart, not even close.”

He falls silent for a fleeting moment, allowing you to fully concentrate on bandaging him up the best you can. Poe winces as you carefully wrap the gauze around his waist. You could sense his unwavering stare on you, the sounds of his shuddering breaths filling the stillness in the air. 

“You didn’t need to do that.” Your words come out as a low whisper. Finally, you meet Poe’s gaze. “I saw it coming, that blaster shot. You didn’t have to jump in front of me and take the hit.”

“Hey,” he murmurs, closing a gloved hand over yours, adding a squeeze. “As much as it pisses you off, I’d do it all over again if it means keeping you safe, alive.”

“But why? Why sacrifice yourself to save me?”

Poe merely smiles, and it’s a genuine one that curls delicately at his lips. Soft and gentle, seeing it is like standing under a ray of sunshine after a storm. It makes you feel warm and gives you hope and joy. It stirs something deep inside of you, something that you’ve been denying for quite a while now.

“For the same reason why I call you sweetheart,” he answers as he draws circles in the back of your hand, his earthy eyes shimmering with the life still flowing inside him. “C’mon, you’re one of the best intelligence officers we have in the Resistance. Don’t act so naive; you’ve got to know it by now. You have to.”

And you do. You have always known but wouldn’t entertain the slightest thought of it. You and Poe? Please, you had more luck flying an X-Wing with zero experience than embarking on a relationship with the universe’s most arrogant pilot. 

Yet, it was damn near impossible to avoid Poe and your feelings entirely. Not when you’re always paired together in almost every mission Leia assigns to you. You swear that woman thinks there really is something going on between you and Poe, and that’s why she’s torturing you by having him accompany you often.

Perhaps, her plan is working after all.

“Sweetheart?” Poe calls out softly, and it’s irritating how gorgeous he looks even after getting shot. “Everything okay?”

“Oh, fuck it—”

You crash your lips to his, the force of the kiss nearly knocking him off balance until your hands cup his cheeks, holding him steady. Poe is quick to match your eagerness, deepening the kiss as his tongue delves into your mouth, brushing it against your own. 

A soft moan escapes him, and you abruptly pull away, believing that you had accidentally hurt him in some way. 

“Why’d you stop?” He breathlessly asks, his hand stroking your hair. 

“Sorry. I thought I pressed on your wound, and…” you trail off, not realizing that you’re grinning awfully bright at the lingering warmth on your lips. “We should— uh, get going. The ship’s not too far from where we’re at; think you can walk that far?”

“Yeah, I can,” Poe nods as you help him back up on his feet. Before you could start the trek, he spins you around and kisses you once more. This time, it’s much softer, slower, and sweeter. When it ends, you resist the urge to pull him back in for another. “Don’t think this is done and over with, okay?”

“I won’t,” you chuckle, throwing his arm around your shoulder, and Poe leans against you for support. “I’ll buy you dinner when we’re back on base.”

A kiss to your cheek, Poe then smiles. “I’m going to hold you to that, sweetheart.”

[twinkleimagines]

* Don’t be jealous princess*

You and Drew have been dating for over a year now, you had actually gotten together right after Chase and Maddie has. Usually you weren’t the jealous type but when you noticed that your boyfriend spent more time with Your shared friend Maddie than he did with you it had started to bother you.

“ hey chase” you spoke as you saw your friend and coworker from the show OBX’s face pop up on your screen.

“ howdie y/n what’s up?” He responded running his hands through his hair fluffing it out.

“ howdie howdie” you responded smiling down at your phone. “ I was gonna go live later this afternoon on the obx page and I was gonna see if you and Maddie wanted to join me at some point” you responded , flopping down on your sofa.

“ uhm duh” he beamed out.

“ awesome “ you responded nodding your head . “ where is Maddie ?”

“ oh she’s at Drew’s” you sat still for a Monet, your brows furrowing together.

“ huh” you responded, a frown placing on your face. “ that’s funny” you responded. It was really to yourself but Chase heard you.

“ what?” He asked getting curious himself.

“ Drew hasn’t talked to me all day” you responded softly, the expression showing clear on your face.

“ oh” was all chase could say, not really knowing what to say.

“ does it not bother you?”

“ what?”

“ they’re Always together Chase. “ you responded. Chase sighed heavily looking out one of his bedroom windows , thinking how to respond to your statement .

“ well, we’re all so close . The whole group. And they live in the same apartment complex. I’m also always busy so I can’t be around as much. “ you nodded slightly agreeing with him.

“ but” chases interrupted causing you to look back up at the phone. “ Drew could at least tell you he’s with her. If Maddie didn’t tell me and didn’t text me all day that would definitely have me worrying. “

“ I know! I feel like all day I’m fighting for his attention and they’re always together. It use to not bother me but when I’m waiting until the end of the day to hear from Drew just to find out he’s been with her all day is beyond annoying”. Chase nodded sighing heavily. You could tell by what all you were saying was starting to cause a concern for him as well.

“ I’m sorry chase I just-“

“ no no I get it y/n I do” he responded . “ I don’t personally think there is anything going on between the two of them but I would talk with Drew just to clear up and confusion and stuff” he suggested . You both spoke for another 30 minutes before hanging up. You sighed before attempting to call Drew, his phone going straight to voicemail which only angered you. You sighed with frustration as you dialed maddies number, pressing speaker as you waited for her to answer.

“ hey y/n” she responded with her bubbly voice.

“ hey” you responded kind of stern. It was honestly harder than you thought it would be to hide the envious of her being with your boyfriend .

“ what’s up you okay?” She asked , noticing the tone in your voice.

“ yeah” you responded, hardly convincing. “ where’s Drew?” You asked .

“ hold on” she said her tone lowering .

“ here Drew, it’s y/n” she said . You could hear her say in the back ground ‘ I think she’s upset’ before you heard Drew answer.

“ hey princess” he responded. You frowned, you were so happy to hear his voice but you wanted to be with him so bad and you hated how you were feeling jealous over his friendship with Maddie.

“ hey babe” you sighed out. “ what are you doing?”

“ I brought Maddie some of mommas casserole and then we’ve been playing board games. What are you up to princess ?” You rolled your eyes of the image of Drew and Maddie playing board games but quickly shook your head pushing those angered thoughts away.

“ well…. I was waiting on you” you replied softly, messing with the strings on your pajama shorts .

“ waiting on me?” He responded . You scoffed slightly. Of course he’d forget.

“ my OBX live is within the next hour, you were going to come over remember ? “ you exclaimed.

“ ahh… shit princess I’m sorry my phones been dead so I hadn’t even paid attention to the time. I’ll come over” he said moving around.

“ No no it’s okay, you won’t get here in time anyways..” there was a moment of silence between the two of you before Drew spoke up excitedly.

“ you can just add me and Maddie to your live!” He suggested excitedly . You pushed your lips together in frustration, squinting your eyes In anger.

“ yeah sure ok” you responded without much enthusiasm but Drew hadn’t caught on.

“ awesome princess I’ll charge my phone okay I love you “ he said .

“ I love you too” you said before hanging up.

“ ughhh” you groaned before throwing yourself back against your couch.

****

“ okay thanks chase we’re gonna bring Maddie and Drew on next ! “ you said into your phone. You had been on Instagram live with chase for a good 45 minutes , answering wild questions from the fans , waiting for Drew to text you that they were ready to come in the live .

“ okay love you y/n bye guys!” Chase said before ending his side of the chat.

“ okay let’s get Drew and Maddie on” you said quietly before biting your bottom lip as you searched Drew’s name in the view list .

“There they are!” You beamed before clicking Drew’s name .

“ hiiiiii!” Maddie said excitedly waving into the camera. Drew was sitting next to her on her couch, waving into the camera. You could feel the jealously pooling back through but this time you really had to hide it since over 20k people were watching . You had only been 5 minutes into it with Drew and Maddie when you started noticing comments from the views mentioning how it was weird that Drew was with Maddie and not you. You had even seen one comment

‘DREW- why are you not with your GF????’

You watched Madelyns face to see if she would notice the comments too and you could tell she had seeing as her smile went away. The live didn’t last much longer considering most the comments were nothing but shaming Drew and Madelyn for being together and not with you or Chase. It blew your mind since the fans never really pointed it out when it was chase on live with them but when it was you it was like that’s all they could speak on.

***

You were awoken from your nap to the sound of your doorbell ringing, your living room dark as it was night time.

“ coming” you said pulling one of Drews t-shirt down that he had left over at your house.

“ hey princess “ Drew said as you opened the door, a set of flowers. You were honestly very excited to see him, but being annoyed as to how much he’s being leaving your out for Madelyn was over powering your excitement.

“ thanks” you mumbled while grabbing the bouquet of flowers before stepping out of the door way letting him in.

“ I’m sorry I’m sent here for the live but I figured movie night can make up for it “ he said, his tall figure slouching down pecking your cheek.

“ sure” you answered walking towards your kitchen, grabbing a glass of water.

“ comedy? Horror?” Drew questioned following behind you. You sighed as you felt his large hands wrap around your waste, “ romance” he said seductively in your ear. You pushed his hands away stepping away from him.

“ Drew stop” you said walking towards your counter, pushing your hair behind your hair.

“ princess what’s wrong?” He asked, genuinely concerned. You furrowed your eyebrows, almost in anger at the fact he was being so clueless to it all.

“ really drew?” You responded . You really didn’t want to be one of those toxic controlling girlfriends, but you knew if you didn’t bring it to attention it was going to honestly eat you alive.

“Y/n what’s wrong?” He stated straight into his figure up looking at you with confusion.

“ ugh” you scoffed, throwing your hands up. “ isn’t it obvious?” Drew just looked at you dumbfounded and completely lost.

“ I miss my boyfriend “ you stated , leaning back against the counter , looking down at the floor.

“ what? Princess what are you talking about?” He said walking towards you.

“ we’ll drew, we’ve been together for over a year and yet you’re with Madelyn more than you are with me. And it’s becoming like an excessive amount.” You stated, pushing your hair back. He chuckled slightly, shaking his head.

“ are you fucking laughing ?” You scolded pushing yourself up off the counter .

“ yes I am “ he stated crossing his arms as he propped himself against the counter next to you. “ are you jealous?” He replied in a mocking tone, clearly amused. You went to speak but nothing coming out as you didn’t know how to respond.

“ don’t be jealous princess”

You rolled your eyes before brushing past him, purposely brushing your shoulder into his bicep since his figured towered over you. “ whatever Drew don’t take me serious then” you spatted out before flopping down on your couch , pulling your phone out.

“ princess I do take you serious” he said before standing in front of you , looking down at you. “ it’s just you’re so cute when you’re jealous, especially when you have nothing to be jealous about” he replied before grabbing your hands, pulling you up to stand with him. “ all of us are just such close friends, and Madelyn lives below me so we’re just closest to eachother when we need company. There’s nothing going on between us princess you never have to worry about that” you looked over looking around in your kitchen, not wanting to look him in the eyes.

“ I don’t mean to be jealous” you said still not making Eye contact. “ but when my boyfriend is with another girl s day and can’t even call me or text me at all the whole day… kind of hard to not question things. “ he sighed heavily nodding.

“ yeah honestly that was kind of shitty of me. I got lost in time and I had my phone up and - it doesn’t matter. I’ll do better princess. “ he said before leaning down to kiss your lips. You sighed with relief into the kiss, wrapping your arms tightly around his abdomen, pulling his muscular figure against yours. You giggled as he moved his lips from your cheek down to your neck , and then back up again to peck a quick one on the tip of your nose.

“ so” he said , holding your face in his hands. “ comedy, horror, or romance?” He asked again, with a big smirk playing on his face. You shrugged knowing the smile he was giving meant you guys weren’t going to make it through the movie anyways.

“ what ever “ you responded staring at his plump bottom lip, fantasizing about pressing against it once again.

“ whatever” he mocked before leaning down again to kiss you, this time his hands landing on your bottom, giving it a squeeze.

~~~~~~~~

❤️❤️ feed back much appreciated ❤️❤️

[tenkasato]

Hellow, Ten~ May I make a request with some Gojo comfort fluff? Something like what you wrote with Megumi x nurse reader? Alittle angst if you must? TY in advance!

Alright. It was supposed to be angst... but it turned out more fluff than angst which I HAD NOT intended. There's a sprinkle of angst so I hope you like that, anon. Enjoy!

A Modest Invitation

Scenario: Gojo is feeling down, and you have ways to entertain him.

Warning: suggestive language, swearing, overloaded fluff I guess

As far as Gojo Satoru was concerned, this was his favorite time of the day.

Business was the same as usual. Curses to exorcise and erase from existence. Problems to mull over and draft solutions to. Children to nurture and guide. And so on, so on, so on, and so forth...

Mind you, being the strongest sorcerer doesn't exempt you from feeling burned out.

He buried his face unto your stomach, nuzzling his nose on the thin fabric that covered your skin and inhaling your fresh, floral scent. Being able to touch you, to feel your existence palpable under his fingers gave him a relief that kept him sane for the past few days.

You were still here. Alive. Breathing. With him.

"Not going to tell me I’m heavy?" he asked as he smiled against you.

You clicked your tongue, and with a trace of amusement and affection, you said, "You won’t be getting off me even if I did, right? So, what’s the point?"

"My wife is such a smart woman."

"Sure am," you snorted.

He felt your hand run through his still wet hair in ginger strokes, straightening the tangles at the tips and drawing circles on his scalp. He heaved a heavy sigh.

Your fingers stopped midway between a stroke. "Something wrong, Satoru?"

Satoru raised his head in surprise. "Huh?"

You rolled your eyes at him. “Oh, come on. I’ve known you since we were in diapers. I know what every sigh you make means.”

Satoru held you in his stare, and you couldn't help but drown into those aquamarine eyes that engulfs your whole existence. You loved those eyes. You loved them dearly.

“I heard you worked with your ex today,” he said in a quiet voice. The unease in his tone made you blink. He had tried to speak with nonchalance but you heard the apprehension nonetheless.

"Is someone jealous?" you teased, the smirk in your face unconcealed. "Glad the day finally came."

He snapped his head up to meet your gaze, lifting his torso up with his arms so he could properly fix you a heated, sullen glare. "Not funny."

"Oh, come on. I used to get jealous of your ladies before. Give me a chance to be the one getting jealous over this time."

"That doesn't sound fair," he whined this time. Satoru crawled towards you until his face was directly over yours. "You're doing it on purpose."

You stared back at him innocently. "And why would I do that?”

He lied down beside you with his arm caged around your torso. You shifted and snuggled up to him.

You reached out to his face as if to console him, pressing the pads of your fingers on his jaw and thumbing his lower lip. You stayed like that for a couple more minutes, basking under the dim light by the corner and plainly listening to each other’s breathing. He thought you had fallen asleep when you had stopped moving, until he felt a light pressure on his chin.

“Jokes aside,” you started when he finally got a look at you, “are you okay? I didn't think you'd be bothered by something like that. You know there's nothing to worry about my ex, right?”

Glancing away, he said, embarrassed, “It’s… I feel so insignificant lately.”

The stare you returned was so intense he could feel your eyes boring into him even without having to look at you. You didn’t ask him to elaborate. You waited, knowing he needed time to articulate his thoughts. Sometimes, he wished you weren't this receptive to him. Being so weak in front of you made him loathe himself even more than he already had.

The day you got married, he poured his heart out with promises of being your respite, your fortress, your source of joy. He thought he could, but with all the responsibilities piled on top of his head, he realized he couldn't give you all the time you deserved.

How many times had he missed your call?

How many times did you have to sleep on the bed at night, cold and alone?

How many times did you hide your tears from him because you didn't want to be an additional burden?

“Look at me,” your voice was a mere whisper.

Reluctantly, he did. He gazed at your serene smile, a glimmer of adoration covering your eyes with a sheen.

Then, with all sinceirty and seriousness, you said, “Wanna fuck?”

Taken aback, Satoru recoiled from you, nearly knocking himself out of the bed. He gaped at you as if you’d just openly admitted being a vampire for a century now.

You let out a string of rude laughter at his stupefied state. “I really love it when you blush like that.”

“You—aren’t you being too bold with—with—you know what? Never mind,” he groaned and inched back into your outstretched arms. “I should’ve been used to your unpredictable, horny episodes.”

“Hey, I ain’t horny now,” you retorted, slightly scandalized. “It just looked like you could use some.”

“It’s hardly the time,” he grumbled with the roll of his eyes.

You, with all the theatrics of a broadway actress, pressed your hand on your chest and gasped. “Oh my goodness. Who are you? My husband would never have turned me down for sex.”

He hissed your name with a warning tone.

The mischievous mold in your face ebbed away like melting wax. Your eyes were speaking to him in a language he could not decipher, in a volume so quiet it was deafening. Whatever emotion you were trying to emanate to him, the unsaid promise of devotion and love—they were so painfully genuine it made his heart ache.

Your face broke into a smile, bitter and sweet, and he found himself returning it.

Suddenly, your smile evolved into nasty Cheshire cat grin, and that alone should’ve been enough cue for him to retreat. But he was a second too late from reacting when your hand shot out and pinched his nose hard.

He let out a yell of utter surprise and pain, earning a roar of thunderous laughter from the despicable you beside him. Cheeks burning, he grabbed his pillow and without preamble, threw it at your face.

You squealed at his sudden retaliation. Wasting no time, you released your battle cry and threw your entire frame in an attempt to tackle him. He smirked at the futile attack but his cockiness came blowing in his face when you poked at his sides.

“Hey!” he yelped as you tickled. “Hey—haha—HEY—“

“Do you—“ you grunted as he pinched your cheeks raw, “—yield?”

“Hell no,” he spits, “not when I’m winning—pAHAHAHA—!”

Satoru took you by surprise when he wrapped his legs around you, pinning his knees on both sides of your hips and twisted his body. You weren't given a chance to yell. Your back connected with the bed with him sitting on top of your thighs, a triumphant grin painted on his face.

“Do you yield?” he asked, catching your wrists before you took another jab at his ribs.

“You do know,” you huffed, “that I can take you down. If I wanted to, yeah?”

“I have no doubts,” he chuckled almost proudly. “But you’re too pure-hearted to hurt the love of your life.”

“Hmm... cocky little bastard.”

“But you love me,” he insisted.

You exhaled in exasperation. “Come here before you suffocate my thighs.”

Laughing, he obliged, lying back beside you all ruffled and warm inside. As you had always, you scooted closer and laid your head on his chest, arm and leg thrown over the rest of his body.

Your sigh of contentment was music to his ears.

“Feel better now?”

“A lot better.”

“Ready to talk now?”

He hugged you closer. He wanted to be closer even though he didn't know how to. If there's anything he's afraid of, it's not being enough for you.

“You matter,” you said, as if reading his frown and hearing his thoughts. “You matter the most to me.”

He turned to embrace you fully, planting a kiss on your forehead. His fingers gingerly ghosted your spine, easing you into his body.

“Hey, Sunshine.”

“Hmm?”

He let his hand slide down your back to your bottom and squeezed, his solemn features morphing to a wolfish smirk.

“Mind if I take you up on that offer?”

[wornoutmouse]

Yandere Tanjiro

Manipulation

Everytime I write salty sweet I think of peanut m&m's

Shout out to all my big areola having ass hoes. Pizza platter with the thick marshmallow tall nipples

You were so obvious and you didn't even realize it. Tanjiro doesn't blame you, many people forget how great his sense of smell was. So in the end he found it amusing when your scent would change to arousal and adoration whenever he was around you. In fact it entertained him

At first he thought it was misplaced, you couldn't feel such a thing towards him, that wasn't in your character. But all of his tests gave fruitful results. As he watched you from an unnoticeable distance He was able to confirm that no one ever made your scent change into any romantic auras. Not with Inosuke or Zenitsu. He even tried to see if you had feelings for Nezuko, she was always around him. But once again there was no change.

Even after finding out, he didn't care about this discovery. It wasn't the first time a woman or man alike has had an attraction to him. He knew he was handsome and everyone loves a kind soul. But your feelings weren't going to get him closer to his goal or keep you alive in the long run so he did not address it. That doesn't mean he didn't use it to his advantage though. On many occasions, he'd find himself teasing you subtly about your crush often.

Harmless grazes along your skin, being more extravagant when he fought with Inosuke. A few times he even waited around shirtless just to see you look away from him to hide your embarrassment. The sticky sharp smell that emanated from your body clung to your skin like a cologne. Tanjiro would even say that the smell gave him a bit of a high whenever it would fluctuate from the things he did. 

Getting real close to you with a neutral face to make the arousal spark before committing a distracting act of kindness to make the soft smell of adoration and content swirl and mix into your aura. It was fun for him, almost like a game, and soon it became a routine way of life. After defeating a demon and the buzz of adrenaline dies down, you'd go right back to your bumbling self.

But then like everything Tanjiro has had in life, it is interrupted.

It happened right after you all just barely made it out of fighting the spider family. You and the others were relocated to the infirmary while Tanjiro was put on trial. He was already agitated when Sanemi pushed his filthy sword through Nezuko's flesh. So in an effort to calm himself, he decided that a little bit of teasing would help boost his mood. 

When he finally ran across you again, you were lying in your own room resting. But not alone, one of the Hashira, Uzui Tengen sat by your side telling you stories of his battles and cracking jokes.

This would be fine normally, but the scent emanating from you was annoyingly familiar. You didn't even look at Tanjiro when he walked in and had a genuine look and scent of surprise when you noticed him. "Oh Kamado, what are you doing here?" Your scent still had its tinge of attraction but it had significantly lessened, not by much but enough to annoy him. 

Tengen excused himself when he noticed his presence adding a head pat as he walked past the shorter male. For a moment Tanjiro lost focus and concern invaded your aura as you watched his face contort into one of disgust and unbridled rage. 

Kamado, Since when did you call me that? Why are you giving your attention to a Hashira? What, am I not good enough for you anymore now that you found someone stronger. 

Tanjiro never took you for the power-hungry type, you can't be. No that's not it, Tanjiro adjusts his face again to one of a content smile. "Are you okay?" 

No, you weren't trying to abandon him on purpose. It's his fault partially, he doesn't blame you, his poor sweet naive Y/n. It's understandable that after ignoring your feelings for so long you'd try to move on and save yourself from the pain. But now it was okay, cause Tanjiro would fix it, he'd accept you, cause he was all you needed. "I'm okay, I broke my ankle and wrists." You raise said appendages to the best of your ability to show off your bandages.  

For a second a dark thought crosses Tanjiro's mind. How weak you and flimsy you were,  how easy it would be for one to take advantage of you at this moment. That's why you needed him to protect you. Someone so easy to break and seduce shouldn't be on their own. That's why Tanjiro would accept you, so you could stay close. For your own good.. All you had to give him was your attention and being. 

Tanjiro sighed but for a different reason than you would ever know. If only he could put you in a box too.

B "Luckily I'm not as badly hurt like the rest of you." Tanjiro sat at your side and picked up your limp hands. "I don't know what I would have done if something were to happen to you." A small smile spreads across your face, "You would never lose us Tanjiro, Inosuke would definitely be hard to bring down." 

The attempt to make a joke is invaded as Tanjiro cups your cheek. Rough battle-worn fingertips graze your lips. Tanjiro gazes at them as he speaks, his bottom lip worried by his teeth as his other hand ghosts over your bandaged wounds. It was a perfect performance. One that replicated the emotion of one who wants to make a move but holding themselves back. One that you effortlessly believed. "You don't understand, I don't want to lose you."

Tanjiro stands up and walks towards your door. Just before opening it, he turns with a doleful look on his face. "Rest up okay?" You nod quickly. Lips puckered into an O of surprise. Tanjiro closed the door, his demeanor doing a complete 180. His gaze was calculated and precise. Tanjiro had planted a seed of conflict, and all he had to do was wait till tomorrow to sow it.

You woke up bright and early the next day, wrists sore but thankfully no longer numb. Unthankfully, you were bedridden until your ankle has healed itself correctly. Sitting alone in the dark with nothing but your thoughts was a dreadful way to spend time. However, you didn't want to disturb your friends. "Their life does not revolve around me." Getting sleep was an inviting solution.

A light tap on your door shifts your goal ever so slightly. "Come in!" You try not to look deflated when only a Kakushi boy comes in with a pail of water and new bandage wraps. 

Similarly, Tanjiro was helping around the state trending to his friends. Inosuke was being difficult as usual,  only wanting the springer to fetch him water and tea to feed his sore throat. On multiple occasions, he had to dissuade Zenitsu from trying to propose to random Kakushi women that would help clean his wounds but in the end, it was futile as he returned his infatuation to Nezuko who wistfully stayed in their shared room asleep.

By the time Tanjiro got any time to himself, the evening sun was already setting and most had retired to their own rooms. Heading to your room, Tanjiro thought of ways to get you to succumb faster to his advances. The sound of a door opening made his gaze shift abruptly. His vibrant brown eyes dulled when he saw a Kakushi boy leaving your room again. 

Entering your room was almost as if a joyous bomb had gone off. The smell of happiness was so strong it almost stinked. You didn't notice Tanjiro's soured mood as you observed your room. "He taught me how to make paper butterflies and put them on my ceilings, what do you think?!" He had indeed taught you Tanjiro mused as many of the butterflies had deformed wings of all sorts. "So what brings you here.?" Tanjiro looks back at you with a soft smile. "I just wanted the check-in on you, you must have been bored being cooped up in the room alone all day."

You shook your head, "No Kocho was here with me all day!" Tanjiro bit his tongue but maintained his smile, "Who's Kocho?" You laughed, "The Kakushi boy that just left. He had originally come just to change my wounds but then we got so interested in each other that he never left." With a blissful sigh, you tilt your head and murmur, "I hope he doesn't get into any trouble on the way back." 

Tanjiro is on you in a second, wrists held haphazardly above your head drawing slight sharp pains to your inner elbow. "Tanjiro?" His eyes observe the dark bruises swirling underneath your bandages, your hair slightly matted and in disarray, since you were the only one who knew how to do it. "You're so soft…" Having no reason to leave your room you had remained only partially dressed as a large kimono hung around your figure. Your chest easily being exposed by unnatural movements. "T-Tanjiro?" 

The boy hummed, leaning down to press a slow kiss on your brown nipple. "Say my name again.." You're taken aback by the sudden boldness and the warm feeling on your breast. "Tanjiro, what are you doing?!" He could feel himself becoming harder underneath his robe. Even though he said he was only indulging your crush to keep you near, he couldn't help but notice how sweet your skin tasted underneath his lips. "One more time, say it once again." Tanjiro begins to grind on the leg trapped in between his. He uses his other hand to cup your other boob before biting down on your nipple making you gasp. "Tanjiro!"

Your smell begins to become more lucid and tender at your arousal peaks through the haze. Your moans get airy and each time you say his name it turns more and more into gasps. Tanjiro squeezes down on your chest before traveling to your neck where his teeth sink into the flesh there. You ground yourself by holding onto his wrists. 

Tanjiro peels himself away from you as you go pliant underneath him. ‘This wasn’t the plan.’ Tanjiro removes his robe from around his shoulders exposing his tan skin. He couldn’t focus past your addicting scent and you couldn’t focus past the feeling of his hands fondling your chest. The belt of your kimono is quickly unraveled, “Look at you.”

Tanjiro pulls your undergarments off exposing your body completely. Through the fabric of his robe he thrusts shallowly against your pussy. The fabric rubs against your clit on every thrust. Both sides of the robe are becoming damp. "I haven't even touched you yet and you're already so wet." The smell of sweat and sex floods Tanjiro's nostrils making him more sensitive.

He unwraps his robe the rest of the way, tossing it elsewhere to leave himself completely exposed. Tanjiro felt a sense of pride as he watched your eyes trail over his muscled form. He wasn't buff by any means, but his training in agility and swordsmanship made his body lean and bulked in his arms and legs. "Only look at me."

You let out a surprised gasp when delicately firm hands drag your body down by your calf. Tanjiro uses his fingers to push the skin of your pussy up to force your clit to peek through. His other hand holds the base of his cock and he swirls the tip around your clit. "Tanjiro please, I'm begging you!" 

For a split second a look of unaltered disdain crosses his face before a more loving one takes over. "Your face is so cute, it almost makes me want to tease you more." Yes, that's it, play the part of a doting lover. You flinch the further his cock is pushed into you. Your bodies combine into a pulsating rhythm of jealousy and lust.

You squeeze snuggly around Tanjiro's and he sets a quick pace. Your legs try to curl to your chest but are stopped by Tanjiro's own body cornering you to the wood floor. Tanjiro steadies his breathing on every thrusts until his strokes are as smooth as the water he drinks. Slopping sounds and your pitiful cries equalize around the room. 

Tanjiro knew these walls were thin, in fact he was betting on it. "Y-You're so loud Y/n." You close your mouth at the tease but it doesn't work. Just as you go to cover your mouth you're stopped by a hand and a loving smile, "Dont, I like hearing you feel good." 

You cum, barely suppressing your sounds, hips twitching when Tanjiro cums inside right after you. An unnecessary act but one that could ensure even greater attachment if your body accepted him. 

Expertly playing the role Tanjiro cleans you up with an ever content smile on his face, this time genuine. "You should get some sleep, you'll be more sore than you were this morning." Tanjiro puts his hand on the know before flinching when you call out to him. "Tanjiro?" He doesn't turn around unwilling to force another smile. "Yes?" He can smell your apprehension as it covers the smell of sex. 

"I know its stupid to ask this but could you give me another kiss?" Tanjiro sighs silently, "Of course!" He forces his persona for the last time tonight and heads towards your bed. Halfway there he stops.

L

"Promise me you'll only look at me from now on." You smile giddily, "You're so weird Tanjiro of course I'll only love you." Tanjiro frowns and you fail to notice the space between the two of you growing smaller. "No, that's not good enough. I don't want to see you near that damn Hashira again." And then it happens. It only takes a split second before Tanjiro's face is in front of yours and the cold kiss of his blade presses against your neck.

"You wouldn't want something to happen would you?" You shake your head as he knew you would, "Good girl." Tanjiro has no care for the shocked tears gathering behind your lashes. Greedily he cups the back of your head and forces you into a kiss. All teeth pure spite as he swaps saliva with you. 

"There's your kiss." Without having to pretend any longer he drops his smile. The sinister complex of a perceived hero shining through dark eyes. He looks you up and down once again, fingers tapping along his blackened blade before taking his leave.

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

To Die For (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)

Hello! It is with great joy and a little bit of sadness that I present you all with the final part of “Love Goes”. This part in particular is inspired by Sam Smith’s “To Die For”. Pieces from Endgame are used but very little. 

Summary: The aftermath of Endgame, how will Wanda navigate and what will happen to Y/n. 

“I long for you, just a touch of your hand. You don't leave my mind. Lonely days I'm feeling like a fool for dreaming… Sunshine living on a perfect day while my world's crashing down.”

Hope. That was all Wanda had left. She knew that she couldn’t let it waver for even a moment. Allowing the hope within her to waver would be the same as accepting defeat. Accepting that you weren’t coming back. That was something she would never allow herself to believe. 

Like you told her, you and her were a happy ending. It’s the only ending she could ever envision for herself. The only life she wanted. The only life she’d accept. You and her. Together. Happily.

It had only been a week since the fateful battle and you had been transferred to a S.W.O.R.D. facility since. What worried Wanda most was that you still hadn’t woken up and hadn’t shown much progression since arriving. 

She could still feel you though. 

Wanda would allow herself glimpses into your mind and could see the vibrancy that still existed within. Your heart was still beating, and your mind was still your own. Even if you weren’t awake, you were still you.

The thought brought comfort to Wanda despite the circumstances. It kept hope alive in her heart.

It was only a matter of time until you were awake and in her arms again. At least that’s what she kept telling herself. 

The situation could have been worse though and she knew that. Shortly after you were transferred to the facility she learned the full details of how exactly Thanos was defeated. How Tony and Natasha had given their lives in exchange for the outcome. As much as the news saddened her, she couldn’t help but feel a selfish sense of relief that you hadn’t been dealt the same fate. 

Her life – her heart - felt as though it was hanging in the balance. You were all she had. All she wanted. If she lost you she knew there would be no recovery for her. She’d drown. Sink to the bottom with no chance of resurfacing if you weren’t there to pull her back up. 

The warmth of your hand in her own anchored her. It always did, but not as much as being in your arms, or hearing your voice. “I’m drowning.” She whispered against your hand. “I’m drowning, Y/n. I need to hear your voice, see you open your eyes, and have you hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. I’m drowning, and you can’t save me until you wake up.” Her lips trembled slightly against your hand as a single tear fell down her cheek.

The days and nights had blurred together for her. Both of which were spent unwaveringly at your side. The only disruptions often came in the form of varying people in the facility checking your vitals or injecting new medications into your IV that they informed her should wake you up soon. 

Besides the worry and fear she constantly felt, there was a sense of bitterness that the only one who had come to see you or her during your time in the facility was Fury. That was only when you were still at S.H.I.E.L.D’s location. It was upsetting to her that Steve had yet to visit you considering the history you two shared and how close you two had always been. Considering how you had been willing to risk your life for him on multiple occasions. 

Today was Tony’s funeral and she was reluctantly leaving your side to pay her respects for a short while. Also, to give Rogers a piece of her mind.

When the funeral concluded she wandered over to the lake to collect her thoughts and emotions. Taking in the beautiful day around her, a stark contrast to how she felt internally. The perfect day felt wrong when it still felt like her world was crashing down within her. 

As she was staring out the lake, preparing herself for what she wanted to tell Steve, Clint walked up to her. “Hey, kid.” 

Wanda kept a neutral face and merely nodded at him. “Hello.”

There was hesitation in the way Clint stopped at her side. “You have every right to not want to talk to me right now.” He began seriously, his head ducked shamefully. “I wanted to go visit Y/n… Check on you. I did. I just-… It’s been hard accepting that Nat’s gone, you know? It’s not an excuse for not being there. It’s just where my head was. I’m sorry, Wanda.” 

As much as Wanda wanted to ignore him, she knew she couldn’t. “I understand.” She replied softly, her gaze still on the lake before her. 

“I wish there was a way that I could let her know that we won. That we did it.” Clint admitted quietly to her.

Wanda shifted her gaze to him. “She knows.” There was a small pause. “They both do.” Despite not being awake, she liked to believe that you knew.

Clint wrapped a comforting arm around her and she leaned into the embrace. 

“Wanda.” A somber voice caught her attention as she turned to find Steve standing there with his hands folded behind his back. “A word?”

Clearly not wanting to be caught in the crossfire, Clint stepped back. “I think that’s my cue to go.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Wanda’s head. “I’ll do better, okay? Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be by to visit Y/n soon.” Wanda nodded slightly at his words as he walked away. 

When Clint was out of the vicinity, Steve stepped into his place. Wanda’s jaw clenched. She was more upset at him than anyone. She knew if roles were reversed you would have been uncompromisingly by his side.

“What do you want?” She asked, her tone cold.

Steve’s face remained neutral despite her tone. “How is she?”

A bitter laugh escaped her lips at his question. “How is she?” she shook her head in disbelief. “You have a lot of nerve asking that when you’ve had a whole week to go see for yourself.”

A heavy sigh escaped his lips. “Look, Wanda, I understand you’re upset with me but I-“

Wanda rounded on him, her eyes livid. “Upset? I am far passed upset, Rogers. I’m furious. Y/n needed you and you abandon her. She would have done anything for you! She idolized you!”

Each of Wanda’s words impacted Steve, she could see that, but she didn’t stop. He took it. “She thought you were her family and you couldn’t even be bothered to go see for yourself if she’s okay! You don’t even care-“

“Enough! That’s not true!” Steve roared. The accusation that he didn’t care seemingly being the final straw. Wanda recoiled in surprise. “I feel guilty, okay? I feel like the only reason that she’s in there in the first place is because of me. I couldn’t face her. I didn’t deserve to.” His volume didn’t lower as the emotions he was holding in finally boiled over. 

“You know she wouldn’t have blamed you.” Wanda eventually replied, her tone still clipped.

Steve rubbed a hand down his face. “I know, but I do. I blame myself. She was trying to protect me, and she only felt like she had to protect me because I couldn’t stop him the first time. She got hurt because I couldn’t get to her fast enough. She’s my family too.” 

As much as she wanted to be angry with him, she found it much more difficult when she learned of the guilt that seemed to be weighing heavily on him. “You know Y/n would have done that either way.” She confessed quietly. “She would have tried to stop him regardless of who she was defending. That’s who she is.”

A weak nod was his only response. Wanda wasn’t sure if he believed her. “How has she been?” Steve repeated, hoping for a genuine answer this time.

“She still hasn’t woken up.” Wanda began unsteadily. “They keep injecting her with new serums everyday saying that each one will wake her up, but it never does.”

Steve closed his eyes at the information, his expression distressed for just a moment until he schooled his features and put on a brave face for Wanda. “She’s going to wake up. I know she will.” 

Hearing the words she had been telling herself from someone else brought Wanda a small sense of comfort. “I know she will too.” She turned to him. “I’m going to get back to her now, she needs me. Go see her.” 

“I will.” He nodded firmly, his words definitive. “I have to return the stones in an hour and try and see if I can undo something. As soon as I do that I’ll be immovably by her side. I’ll stay with you until she wakes up. You have my word. She has my word.” There was purpose in his voice. 

Wanda quirked her lips up slightly at him and nodded without a word. She knew he meant what he said. She walked off to her car to begin the drive back to S.W.O.R.D’s medical branch of the facility. ___________________ Her heart dropped when she entered your room, only to be met with an empty bed. On numb legs, she ran out and stopped the first worker she saw. “Y/n Y/ln. Where is she? She was here just an hour ago.” 

The employee looked around nervously. “She’s been moved. I believe it would be in your best interest to speak to the director.”

Wanda’s brow furrowed in confusion. “The director? Why?”

“His office is located on the second floor, third door on the left.” The employee informed her meekly before scurrying away. 

Practically running, Wanda reached the office in minutes, throwing the door open. “Ms. Maximoff.” The man who she presumed to be the director greeted her, an unnerving smile on his face.

“Where is she?” Wanda demanded, not caring about anything other than being reunited with you. “Is-is she okay?” Anxiety began to build within her and press against her chest making it harder for her to breath. Her nails dug into her palms.

The man gestured for her to sit in an empty chair, she ignored the request. “My name is Tyler Hayward. I am the director of S.W.O.R.D.”

Wanda merely stared blankly back at him, her jaw clenched tightly. “Where. Is. Y/n?” She enunciated sharply, her patience fading. 

The unnerving smile never faltered on Hayward’s face. “That is the unfortunate part, Ms. Maximoff. You see, while you were gone Ms. Y/ln suffered from some brain hemorrhaging. We were able to stop it, but it seems her brain has suffered an extensive amount of damage. We ran some tests and it appears she has lost all cognitive function. She is just a shell now. She only has another day or two at best. I’m sorry.”

Wanda’s world stopped at his words. She immediately shook her head. “That’s not true.” She said shakily as tears began streaming down her cheeks, the weight on her chest getting heavier, forcing her under. She couldn’t breathe. “That’s not true. Let me see her.” 

Hayward gestured forward to the large window in his office. “They’re running some tests on her now, but so far the data has remained conclusive. There is no longer brain function.” Numbly Wanda walked up to the large window and glanced down, feeling the life drain from her at the sight of you. Pale and on what looked like an experimentation table, surrounded by several S.W.O.R.D. scientists.  “I’m afraid it’s time to start talking about letting her go.”

Wanda spun around to face him angrily. “Let her go?” she cried, her voice cracking. “She’s all I have.”

Hayward held his hands up slightly. “It’s only a matter of days before she’s unable to breathe on her own and her heart stops being.”

Empty. That’s what she felt at his words. She wanted to scream. Her powers reacted to the emotion she was feeling before her mind did as the glass she was leaning on shattered. Without hesitation she floated down to where you were. Her heart hammering in her chest the closer she got. 

The world around her went dark and the only sight she was able to take in was the way your chest weakly rose and fell with each breath. With shaking hands, she raised them to your temple as feeble wisps of red floated from her fingertips and disappeared into your mind. 

All she saw was darkness. 

“I can’t feel you.” She whispered brokenly, the pain in her chest overcoming her. The sensation composing her entire being as everything within her collapsed. She was alone, and she knew she wouldn’t recover. Then everything went dark around her. ________________________________

“Darling, have you seen my notebook? I’m running late for my meeting with my editor and I can’t seem to find it anywhere.” You questioned hastily as you rushed into the kitchen and skidded to a halt in the entry way. Looking around the area with a frazzled expression on your face.

Wanda looked over from her place by the stove and waved her hand, the notebook floating from under your arm to directly in front of your face. “You mean this one, dear?” She asked with an amused smile. 

Sheepishly you plucked the notebook out of the air as you made your way over to her. “What would I do without you?” You leaned forward so your lips rested gently against her own.

“Mmm,” Wanda mumbled with a smile as she spoke against your lips. Her arms resting comfortably over your shoulders. “I believe your mind would fail you, sweetheart.”

Your hands fell to her waist as you pulled her closer. “That’s for certain.” You replied easily with a loving smile. “Have I told you how beautiful you look today?”

A small blush spread over her cheeks. “You have not but thank you. You look beautiful as well, darling. I’m beginning to get jealous that your editor gets to spend the day in your presence. Speaking of…” she trailed off and glanced pointedly at the clock.

“My meeting!” Your eyes widened as you pressed one last loving kiss to her lips. “I’ll be going now. I love you, darling. I’ll be home soon!” You shouted as you began running out. 

Wanda shook her head at you, the smile on her face never faltering. “I love you, too, dear!” She called after you, pretending to catch the kiss you blew to her as you rushed out the door. She sighed happily and leaned against the wall of the kitchen. 

The end.

 . . . . . .

“Glad you were able to make it, Rogers.” Fury said seriously as he shook Steve’s hand. “And Ms. Romanoff. Welcome back.” He shook her hand as well. 

Steve nodded easily in response. “Of course. You know that I’d be here in a heartbeat for Y/n. Wanda as well.” Both followed Fury into a large make-shift tent located in the woods. 

“What exactly are we dealing with?” Natasha asked, confusion lacing her words.

For a moment Fury seemed to ponder her question. “We’re not entirely sure.”

“Does Wanda even know that she saved Y/n? That she was never gone?” Steve questioned seriously, his arms crossed as he stared at the screen before him. 

Fury shook his head. “No. It seems Hayward convinced Wanda that Y/n was gone, no brain function. What Wanda didn’t know was he had gone rogue. Every serum they injected in Y/n kept her in her comatose state rather than attempt to wake her up like they were telling Wanda. I’ve looked at the files that my inside contacts gave me, and it seems Y/n should have been up in the first day or two to recover from minor brain swelling.”

“Why are they doing this though?” Natasha questioned as she looked over the chart. Steve’s jaw was clenched as he listened to each detail.

Taking the chart from Natasha, Fury turned the pages until he found what he was looking for and handed it back to Natasha. “Right there. It seems that Y/n carries a rare mutant gene that they could extract and essentially build an army with. They believed that if they removed Wanda from the picture they could continue the experiments and eventually wipe Y/n’s memory to use her as a weapon. Turn her into a super solider… but much worse because of her powers.” There was an edge to his tone. “They are very interested in her ability to manipulate earth and metal. They had considered Wanda briefly as well, but the perfect opportunity presented itself with Y/n. That’s why they insisted on her transfer to their facility.” 

“How do we get them back before Hayward gets to them?” Steve questioned quietly, a dangerous tone to his voice.

Instead of answering Fury gestured to the woman who had been sitting and listening to the conversation. “Wanda isn’t letting anyone with ties to your past in. Fury already tried. She won’t let you or Natasha in.” They both stared at her. “I didn’t introduce myself. Sorry, my name is Darcy Lewis. Astrophysics. Big fan.” The bespectacled woman rambled. 

Natasha smirked, an amused glint in her eye. “Okay, Darcy Lewis, what’s our next step?”

“We’ll do whatever it takes.” Steve finished powerfully as they all watched you and Wanda share a sweet kiss before the credits began to roll on the screen before them.

Well, that’s all folks! 13 parts completed! It’s been a journey writing this and it is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written. This story has become my baby and it always brings me so much joy to read your comments and seeing others enjoy it. I had a plan for this chapter since the moment I began writing this story but it was so hard when it came down to writing because of the most recent episode of Wandavision, so I tweaked it a little. Was it a sadder or happier ending? You may never know. Thank you all so much for taking this journey with me. I hope you enjoyed. 

As always, thoughts and comments always welcome. :)

p.s. I brought back Steve and Nat but I couldn’t figure out how to make Tony surviving make sense or fit the story, sorry. Still love Tony. 

[shurisneakers]

shut in [epilogue]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: anxiety, ptsd, swearing

Word count: 4k

A/N: annnnd we’re done :)) thank you to my resident bully @midnightsunfae for really getting this fic off the ground and helping with the planning. ily upo and thank you to everyone who’s read this series over the 5 months it’s been going on. it’s meant the absolute world to me :’)

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

Your fingers tapped rhythmically against the table, an indicator of the nervousness that was building to a crescendo in your chest.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” he asked, hand placed gently on your forearm.

You nodded, eyes downcast. If you looked at him, you wouldn’t be able to find it in yourself to follow through with it.

“I am,” you said quietly, swallowing to get rid of the lump in your throat.

“Okay,” he confirmed, letting his arm drop gently.

Ten minutes to go. You took a sip of water nervously. The glass had already found itself shifting back and forth on the table in search of the perfect place. It was a fruitless quest anyway.

The door was painted a dark green, steps leading up to it from the pavement.

“Are you sure he won’t mind?” you asked quietly, standing a stair below him in apprehension. Neither of you had contacted him or sent a message, just showed up at his place exhausted and covered in a thin layer of dirt.

“I know he won’t.” Sam raised his fist to knock thrice, a pause before knocking two more times.

A code.

He turned around slightly, checking to see if you were fine. The longer you stood out there, the more afraid you were of someone spotting the both of you, putting an end to your life before it even began. You had a feeling that paranoia would continue for a long time.

The door swung open, revealing a tall man with blonde hair leaning against the doorway with one arm. There was a nick above his eyebrow, an old scar that hadn’t faded over time. Even though his other hand was concealed behind the door, you could tell that he was holding something by the way his muscles were clenched. Years of training wouldn’t disappear overnight.

"Sam." Surprise overtook his face in a second. "You're alive."

"Don't sound so happy, I can't handle it." Sam rolled his eyes, an affectionate smile on his face. "This is Y/N, we need a place to stay."

“It’s just been a while since I heard from you, man. Coming from a hit?” Riley didn’t think twice about moving aside, scrutinising dried blood on your person as you walk past. “Nice to meet you, I’m Riley.”

It was a cane in his hand. Sam’s mention of his limp flashed in your mind.

You gave him a small wave and a quiet re-introduction of yourself, following Sam into the house.

“You could say that.” Sam paused, a hand on Riley’s shoulder as he says something out of your ear shot to him.

Riley’s face turned stoic immediately, a nod of his head and a deep exhale soon following. “Stay as long as you need.”

“Thank you.” You pressed your lips together in a straight line with a corner quirked upwards, a half smile of sorts.

“Bathroom’s down the hall, to the right.” He pointed out the direction. “I’m getting you some food. Gumbo still your thing, Wilson?”

“Anything other than peanut butter.”

Riley was a blessing you could have never prepared for; knowing exactly what you both would need and anticipating emotions you had no idea you’d be feeling. For someone who had guests show up completely uninvited to crash on his couch, he was ready as ever, given that he had been through the same thing a while ago.

It was difficult. Fuck that, it was one of the hardest things to go; not pretending like everything around you would fall into soon and that you would be fine because you had to. You had worked too damn hard for you not to be.

But you knew things weren’t going to be fine right off the bat and it would be foolish to think it was.

“Sam, look at me,” you commanded gently, but there was an edge of firmness to your tone. You were sitting on the bench near the entrance of the park.

“I’m sorry, things were going good and I thought-” He shook his face that was hiding in his palm, elbows resting on his knees.

His attacks didn’t come nearly as frequently as yours. It was easy to think that he had no trauma just because he learnt how to deal with it better.

“Look at me, Sammy.” It was just a walk in the park, a stroll that should have lasted twenty minutes tops. You had been on that trail before for the same purpose but something triggered him today, someone’s gaze who lingered too long on the both of you.

He clenched his fists, lifting his head to meet your gaze.

“Breathe with me.” You exaggerated the movements to have him follow, a system the both of you had come up with when anxiety attacks used to hit at random. A temporary solution to an aftermath that would go on for hours, days even.

It took him a few staggered breaths to get there, finally falling into routine with you. He could feel his heartbeat slow to what it was but the pit in his stomach wouldn’t subside for a while.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” you reassured, still making sure he was breathing with you. You were nervous too and your eyes were still darting about to survey your surroundings, but he needed you at that moment. “We’re safe. We’re okay.”

“No one’s here,” he mumbles, interlacing your fingers and bringing it to his forehead to lean against your hand.

“We’re okay,” you repeated, giving him the space he needed. “We’re okay.”

“Will someone be joining you?” The waiter prodded softly. If it wasn’t your incessant tapping at the table, the clammy palms and constant checking of your watch was a clear giveaway that you could use a bit of kindness that day.

“Yeah, any minute now.” You smiled at her. She simply nodded, refilling your glass of water before leaving you alone.

You looked at your watch and sighed.

Seven minutes.

Things were fine. Things were good.

Sam and you were… undefined. Labels almost seemed too constrictive for now and it wasn’t like the both of you didn’t know what the other felt. It was kind. It was soft. Sometimes you kissed his cheek when the sunlight bounced off his face while he watered the succulents and the smile he gave you was addictive. Other times he snaked an arm around your waist and leaned his head on your shoulder while you watched the street from the kitchen window.

It made you happy, and so you tried to force away the stem of doubt that creeped into your heart.

Riley had introduced the concept of movie nights and the occasional mob movie would make it in there just to poke fun at. He showed you around the city, inviting you to go grocery shopping with him at the farmers market, the best places to get a glimpse of the music scene or to subtly point out potential date night spots.

He was a genuinely nice guy, and if you thought Sam was fun to hang out with, you were not prepared for the both of them together. You could tell why Sam adored him.

“Y/N, I don’t know how you stayed with him for all that time and didn’t murder him in his sleep.” Riley glared at Sam who had once again left his collection of music CDs strewn around on a couch. It was all in jest; it was well known that Sam found an anchor in music that kept him up late at night for a sense of calm.

“It was a close call sometimes,” you added playfully, giving Sam a grin.

“You weren’t exactly easy to survive with either.” He scoffed. “How many times did we watch Megamind in a row? Eight?”

“You wouldn’t stop watching Die Hard,” you accused, arms crossed over your chest. “It was payback.”

“You made the rule saying we couldn’t watch things more than twice in a row and you broke it first.”

“I’m gonna go,” Riley interjected. “But y’all keep at this. I heard it’s good for your soul.”

“Stay there,” Sam demanded, pointing to where he was standing a second ago. “You’re gonna be play judge since you started this shit.”

“I really don’t want to.” He shook his head, staying put nonetheless, amusement clear as day on his face.

“The laundry.”

“The dishes.”

You both narrowed your eyes at each other. His argument didn’t hold a match to yours.

“You know what, I was wrong,” Riley announced to no one in particular. “I’m pretty sure you guys would kill each other under any other circumstance.”

The smile on your face faltered but you straightened it back out with a clearing of your throat before firing a comeback.

It was barely a second, almost unnoticeable. But Sam caught it.

Four minutes.

Almost time.

The tapping became more intense, and the rate at which you pulled out your phone to check the time increased.

Fuck, this was a bad idea. How were you supposed to behave with him after all this time?

Something was wrong. Something was off.

Sam wasn’t blind to it. He could see it under the smile you eased into at game night, the complaining when too much food was ordered for three people to eat, the good natured teasing when he rolled over to your side of the bed at night to steal your blanket.

Something was eating at you, gnawing at you from the inside.

His suspicion was confirmed when you whispered at 2am one night to what you thought was an asleep partner that you wanted to move out. Find a place of your own.

His stomach dropped instantly but he didn’t so much as move a muscle.

“I need to get out. I need to have a life,” you sniffed, doing your best not to wake him up as you traced circles into his skin lightly. “I don’t know what it’s like to be independent. I won’t know unless I figure it out myself.”

The air had a chill to it and it was one of the times you had asked him to sleep in the guest bedroom with you instead of on his own, knowing that it was one of those nights where you could use a little extra warmth.

“Even when we were in there I couldn’t stop thinking about whether this thing between us was just because we were forced to stay together. You said it wasn’t, and I know that but I can’t help but think-” Your voice cracked. “Would you come back to me if things were different?”

He didn’t answer, even though he knew what he wanted to say with all the certainty in the world. Your fingers continued to draw on his skin. He continued to let you.

Sam didn’t even bring up the conversation that morning, or that week. Instead, he held you a bit closer whenever he could and gave you the space to hopefully open up to him on your own time, letting you know that he’d be there to listen.

It took a while. You both were in the middle of watching a movie that wasn’t Die Hard when you told him that you needed to talk to him about something. The hesitancy in your voice and the fixation your fingers had with the hem of your sweater was painful to witness.

He understood, of course. He always did. That you needed to experience what it was like to live, not survive. That decades of living with other kids, living under an abuser, living in a safehouse for months, was restrictive and suffocating and you needed to find what made you happy.

And so did he. It was something both of you had to do eventually, exit the bubble you had been staying in under such ardent protection for those two months.

Riley was wonderfully supportive of it, vowing to find you the best apartment that New Orleans had to offer. You didn’t doubt it.

His place had been colourful and bright and everything you could have asked for after the monotone walls you were used to. But it wasn’t yours.

A few weeks later you had moved out. Sam left a lingering kiss on your forehead, a sign to say that he’d be here whenever, whatever.

You made a Shakira joke. He laughed.

A completely fresh new start. If you failed now, it was all on you.

And what a terrifying thought that was.

It had been four months since you had left Riley’s apartment behind.

Four months since you had seen either of them.

The cafe was starting to feel too small for this event. Too intimate, too-

When the bell above the cafe chimes, something at the back of your mind instantly wakes up, sending you on high alert.

“Y/N?” he called out from behind you.

You knew he’d be early.

“Sam.” You breathed out, standing up to face him.

Video calls didn’t do him any justice. He had a particular glow to him, an aura of confidence that wasn’t there the last time you saw him. His beard was neatly trimmed and the smile that tugged at his lips the minute you caught his eye was beautiful.

You didn’t realise how different he looked until the time apart. Months of makeshift workouts and peanut butter as your only source of protein had done a number on him. You remembered him being leaner, and what you now realised was the constant burden of fatigue on his face.

“You look good.” An understatement escaped you, but he did.

He had a deep blue shirt on that hugged him in all the right places. Months of seeing him only black and grey had you damn near drooling when he wore other colours after you got out.

Not that you were staring, but his biceps had definitely made a wonderful return.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” Sam sent you a smile that instantly put you at ease. “Independence looks good on you, sweetheart.”

You gave a small laugh, gesturing for him to take a seat. Should you have hugged him? Shook his hand? Kissed hi-

“It’s been a while,” he politely interrupted your overthinking. “How are things going?”

You let out a small breath. It was a big question, one that you had answered over text and call a few times but it was different now. He was in front of you now and you couldn’t bullshit the way you used to on call occasionally.

“Weird,” you admitted. “I don’t know what to do with myself now that I have all this time.”

“It takes some gettin’ used to.” He nodded in agreement, leaning back in his chair.

A lot of your time went into trying new hobbies. Knitting, pottery, drawing- anything that you could get your hands on. Things didn’t always catch on, some discarded just after the first week. Others stuck, bringing you bits of triumph every time you moved forward with your newfound skill.

“You still seein’ your therapist?” He flashed a smile at the waitress who filled his glass of water.

Ah, yes. Dr. Bishop had been one of the first people you sought out.

“Yeah.” You took a sip of water. “See her weekly.”

You still had money left over from all the hit jobs that you had done. As much as you wanted to leave every inkling of that life behind, you needed the cash to live. You had enough for the time being, but you knew that eventually you had to start working; if not for the money then for the peace of mind.

“How’s that goin’?”

“She thinks I talk in elaborate metaphors. The gang’s what I call my toxic family, he was my abusive father, stuff like that.”

There were moments where you thought you saw someone you knew standing at a corner, vendors giving you icy looks from across the street, footsteps outside your door that seemed too damn loud. But nothing ever came of it.

“Thanks for the tip, by the way.” You extended a smile to him in appreciation for the idea.

“Worked with my therapist, figured it would be the same with yours.” He shrugged casually. It wasn’t like you wanted to lie to her, and you weren’t. But some things were better left in the dark.

“But I think it’s helping.” You exhaled deeply, eyes downcast. “The nightmares are reducing.”

“That’s a lot of progress.” The corner of his mouth quirked upward in pride.

Several feelings erupted from that look, some that you’d spend the whole day revelling in if you didn’t force yourself to move on.

“How about you?” you diverted the subject back to him. “How’s Riley?”

“He says he misses ya.” Sam laughed. “Says he can’t handle me alone, that he needs you back to save him.”

“What have you been doing to that poor man?” you teased, easing back into your seat. “He was fine when I left him.”

“He’s got a fancy new job now and it’s been going to his head. Needed a little humbling.”

“You’re not going too hard on him, are you?” Even though you knew he wasn’t, it was fun to make sure.

“Nah, I’d say it’s just about the right amount.” Sam grinned and you felt the familiar flutter return to your stomach. “I’ve been doing good. Working on getting my license.”

“Oh yeah, how’s that going?” You were thrilled when he said he was going to look into becoming a youth counselor, knowing that it was something he had been genuinely wanting to do for ages.

“With my background, or lack of it, it’s a little trickier than I thought it would be,” he divulges a bit more seriously. “Riley’s been pulling a few strings and I got a few contacts but it’s gonna take some more time.”

You bit your lip, worry rising for him. He deserved it, he earned it. It fucking sucked that it wasn’t going to be an easy, direct path.

“We’ll figure it out,” you said quietly, reaching out to intertwine your fingers with his in reassurance.

The contact brings with it a small spark. You wondered if he still felt it.

“Yeah. We will.” He sent you a soft smile at your action, not making any effort to move it. “You been on any dates lately?”

You let out a snort at that. “Loads. Have fellas lining up at every corner for me.”

“I bet.” He’s more bold, a bit more open than he was in the first month when you both got out. “How many of them do I have to fight off?”

“I’d say six as a rough estimate.” Your expression mimicked one of consideration. “I hope you’ve been getting your hours in at the gym.”

“I’ll kick it up a notch,” he promised, hands raised in surrender.

“You better. We’re supposed to go for laser-tag.” A dumb callback to a joke he made on one of your last days there.

“Or paintball.” He remembered. It made you unnecessarily giddy. “I added an escape room to the list too.”

“Hilarious,” you fired at him, rolling your eyes slightly but the happiness on your face proved otherwise.

His laughter died down eventually, paving the way for the comfortable silence that lingered between you both. Your eyes fell down to where your hand still held his, biting your lip to conceal a smile.

“Y/N,” he called out, pulling your gaze back to his. “Jokes aside… how are you?”

You let out a breath at his question. You knew it was coming.

“Riley found me an apartment,” you murmured.

Sam looked up from his phone. “Yeah?”

“It’s a nice place. Lots of sunlight. Quiet too.” You toyed with your fingers. “But it’s about an hour away. More if you consider traffic.”

Sam set his phone down gently on the bedside table, indicating that you had his full attention.

“I don’t want you to think I’m abandoning you, because I’m not. I wouldn’t, I just-”

“Hey,” he interrupted calmly, twisting his body to face you. “I don’t think you’re abandoning me. If this is what you need, then you should do it.”

“I don’t know if this is what I need. I don’t know what I’m doing, I’ve never been-” the frustration in your voice only increased as you went on. “-I don’t even know if this is going to work. What if I hate it?”

“Finding out what you hate is just as important as what you like, I think.” He watched you toy with the fidget square he had gotten you. “And you know that if you don’t feel like it, then you can come back here at any moment.”

“I know.” It was a comforting thought. A safety net.

“But would this make you happy?” That caught you by surprise.

It wasn’t something you had thought of. You thought of the negative consequences, the devastating effects it could have on you, how it could be the worst possible decision you’d ever make.

“I don’t know,” you mumbled, a new anxiety setting in. “I guess we’ll see.”

You liked the neighbours who played the piano way too loud at 2am, the really terrible coffee at the therapist’s office and the feeling the paper plane on your dresser gave you when you occasionally looked at it.

You didn’t like how hot the apartment could get, especially during the afternoon, or the guy who sold magazines down the street who cursed at everyone for no reason, or the gentrified Indian food they served at the mall.

But Sam was right. Figuring out what you didn’t like was just as beautiful a journey as figuring out what you did.

“I’m happy.” You breathed out. “Or I'm working towards being happy. But it’s there.”

He doesn’t say anything to that. Simply slipped his palm under yours to lift your hand, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

“I’m proud of you.”

If anyone could feel the heat that rose to your face they would probably think you had a fever.

The fear that you had, the one of what things would be like if you weren’t forced to survive in a confined space together, had begun to fade the minute he called out your name that day.

It was Sam. Your Sam.

You shake yourself out of your train of thought with a small smile, making a move to gather up your belongings without letting go of his hand for a second.

“Well, c’mon then. Those paintballs aren’t going to shoot themselves.”

“Are you saying this is a date?” There was a smirk on his face that wasn’t there a minute ago.

“Would you still consider it one once I annihilate you?” You tilted your head in a challenge.

“That would never happen, first of all.” He scoffed. “Second… I was thinking that maybe we could do something normal for a change.”

That had you more interested than the prospect of adventure sports. You had enough of it for a lifetime, frankly speaking.

“Lead the way, Cinnamon.” He only rolled his eyes at the nickname, sending you a vaguely threatening look. You just laughed.

“This place got good coffee?” He looked around at the establishment and its patrons.

“One of the best.”

“Then I don’t see why we have to go anywhere else,” he offered and you nodded, relaxing back into your place with the same sense of warmth in your heart that only intensified with his proposal.

He raised his hand up to flag the server, the same girl who had been helping you out since you got there, asking for two menus.

The smile he sent her was infectious. It was good.

“Sam,” you began quietly. “I missed you.”

His eyes softened, the sunlight reflecting in it making it shine like dravite. “I missed you, too.”

“Ready to order?” The waitress stands beside you with a notepad.

He looked at you and you nodded with a smile.

Things were different. You were different.

And he still came back to you.

--fin--

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <3

thank you so much for reading!

[charliedawn]

How would they react to the new arrival ?

" Hi everybody. My name is Y/N and I am the head nurse around here. If you have any questions, you can ask them to me. I see here that two of you are transfers from St John's, so you'll be assigned to miss Harrison's department..However, I see here that mister Wendell Crumb has just been released from prison ? Who is mister Wendell Crumb ?"

A close cut man raises his hand with a slight smile.

" That would be me."

You smile back before checking something on your file.

" Fine. You'll be transferred to my department. However, I see here that you've got many names..May I ask who I am talking to ?"

Wendell Crumb suddely straightens up and stares right at you with a very unsettling smile.

" I'm Barry. Nice to meet you.."

You raise an eyebrow suspiciously before looking down at his file. Creepy smile. Judgy stare. Feminine stand..Yeah, definitely not Barry..

" I'm sorry, but in order for us to get along, honesty is the key..Now, could you please tell me who you really are ?"

The man's smile only widens as he congratulates you.

" Clever girl. I'm Patricia. Nice to meet you."

He then claps with both hands and you narrow your eyes, trying to figure the new patient out. He seems harmless enough, even though his file seems to suggest the contrary. A great pretender. After all the effort you had put in getting the patients to trust you, this one would surely bring chaos. You could already tell by just looking at him in the eyes: he wasn't here to get better.

You sigh before closing the file and signaling to the patient to follow you as Harrison enters. Wendell Crumb is almost too eager to follow you. You can feel his stare on you, as if he was sizing you up and down.

" The patients are eating, I suppose it is a good time to get acquainted with them and make some new friends. What do you think ?"

You smile and try to be nice to him, but he doesn't answer. He only huffs before looking away. You open the door to the cafeteria and feel the stare of all the slashers on you and the new arrival. Patricia seems to be doing a quick assessment of each slasher before finally landing on you.

" By what I heard, I thought I would be meeting fearless and bloodthirsty demons..But all I can see is a bunch of old-timers."

Your eyes widen in shock at his words and you can see some of the slashers tense. However, far from being intimidated, Kevin widely grins and seems to slouch slightly, taking another personality you guess.

" Hi guys ! I'm Hedwig ! I'm soooo excited to meet all of you ! Patricia said you were like us ! That's like, totally cool !"

To that, Freddy is the first to answer with a mocking smirk.

" Great. Another kid..Me who thought we would finally be enough to play poker. What a disappointment..Can he at least change his own grown-up diapers ?"

Suddenly, Hedwig's joyful expression shifts to a much serious one that glares daggers at Freddy.

" What did you say, steak face ?"

Oh oh. Freddy's expression darkens and he stands up to face Kevin that only arks an eyebrow at him, a silent challenge. One that Freddy is eager to respond to.

" What did you call me, baldie ?"

But, far from feeling intimidated, Kevin only stares down at him with a little smirk.

" You heard me, midget.."

You can feel the tension rising and put yourself between the two of them promptly.

" Hey ! That's enough ! Be nice ! And you.."

You turn towards Freddy with furrowed eyebrows, clearly displeased.

"..I told you to hold your tongue with them."

Freddy only humphs unhappily before getting out of your grip and glaring at Kevin that only grins defiantly at him.

" What ? That's it ? This is the infamous Freddy Krueger ? The bringer of nightmares and slayer of children ? I must admit that I am deeply disappointed.."

Patricia, she wants to rile him up. You quickly get another nurse to get Freddy to sit back down before he gives in to his violent impulses. You then glare at Kevin before taking him by the arm for him to follow you outside of the room.

" What are you trying to do exactly ?! Get killed ?!"

But, far from feeling guilty, Kevin's grin only widens as he stares directly back at you for several seconds, as if looking deep inside your soul..At the end, he pretends to be apologetic by raising his hands in surrender and finally giving some kind of explanation for his behavior.

" I'm sorry. I'm just feeling overwhelmed, garden variety issue..You understand. We mustn't let the bad seeds take roots, or we may end up with bad weed issues.."

At this, Pennywise that had followed you discreetly gets out of his hiding spot to growl menacingly at Kevin.

" Bad weed ?! Who are you calling bad weed, pal ?! I'll show you bad weed."

But one stern look from you, and Pennywise reconsiders. But, he is still glaring daggers at Kevin that only giggles maniacally while you get him back inside. However, he doesn't miss the way you instinctively hold on to the pendent hanging around your neck..What a strange necklace..? He turns his head towards the slashers that all seem on edge now, like a pack of wolves ready to attack. However, it's even worse when he suddenly takes you by the shoulders to smell you behind your ear, his gaze still fixed on the gang that seems ready to jump into action at any moment..Even Pennywise doesn't notice that he is munching on his spoon instead 9f his actual food. You try to get out of his grip, but he only tightens his grip on you as a response.

" What ? Are you all her lapdogs now ? I see the appeal..But still, to think she managed to have you all around her little finger..The strongest men on Earth, all submitting to that small bite."

As if to prove his point, he starts nibbling on the top of your ear, waiting for a reaction. However, before anyone could do anything, Kevin feels something piercing his skin and turns around to see a smirking Five with a needle in his hand.

" Nighty night."

Kevin collapses and you quickly kneel by his side to take his pulse. Thankfully, he's alive and you ask some nurses to bring him back to his room. You had agreed with the hospital not to use the collars unless it was a case of extreme emergency, looks like this could be one..

" Thank you, Five. But, dont use medical supplies without my permission again, okay ?"

He doesn't lose his smile before replying casually, hands in his pockets.

" Can't promise anything.."

The slashers are still staring at Kevin that is dragged out of the room. It takes you a while to reassure them that you're fine, even longer to convince yourself. However, Five seems even more suspicious than usual, he seems to be eager to return to his bedroom, and he was late for lunch..But, you don't have the time to worry about him. You finally manage to get them all to return to their bedrooms and walk inside your own. There, you let the mask fall and collapse on your bed, burying your face in a nearby pillow in order to muffle your tears and screams. Each time, you try to contain your own fear for the safety of the patients and yourself, but just with one touch, this new individual had made all of your walls crumble. However, you have to get it together, you couldn't let the other patients see you like this..You get up and cough a bit before cleaning yourself up. You then open the door, not expecting all the patients tumbling inside as they were listening in..You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose.

" What did I say about listening on doors ?"

They all stand up and look at everything but your face or simply try to justify themselves.

" Look, hon..We were only worried..Kinda ?"

Freddy tries to explain, but you take a big inspiration before stepping out. This is just what you needed: serial killers worrying about you.

" It's the hour of your medication. How about Michael and Five come to help me in the kitchen while you wait in the your rooms ?"

You finally decide to ignore Freddy and are surprised when Arthur takes you gently by the arm so you can look up at them.

"Hey, don't shut us down. Freddy is right, we were only worried."

You eyes soften at their genuine concern, but you quickly shake the feeling away. You had faced far worse, but this patient scared you the most..because he had attacked you as if he already knew, as if he knew who you were before you even introduced yourself. You will have to keep a close eye on that one, that's for sure. Fortunately, the patients hadn't reacted too extremely, or it would have turned bad, very very bad..You don't know why the hospital had suddenly decided to add another patient, but one thing is for sure, this new patient wasn't transferred here, he was sent here with a purpose. Now, your goal is to discover whatever purpose that is. You are on your way to his room when you realize something..You hadn't seen Jason all morning. He wasn't there for lunch either. You feel cold sweat running down your back when you suddenly hear some fighting noises. You run in the direction of the sounds and are shocked to see Jason, Five and, surprisingly, Klaus in Kevin's room. You don't have the time to ask what the last one is here that Jason takes Kevin by his shirt and throws him through the window.

You look at Five for an explanation, but he doesn't look at you and looks at the broken window instead.

" Did he just..?"

" Yup. He just did.."

Klaus confirms before turning towards you with a small awkward smile.

" Can someone please explain to me why a civilian is here and why Jason just threw Kevin out of the damn window ?!"

You exclaim and for once, Five is speechless and it's his brother that decides to step up to explain the situation to you.

" Hi. I'm Klaus, Five's older brother and I was about to help him escape until we heard noises of a fight outside. We got out and saw a bold man talking and fighting our dear sweet Jason that threw said man flying through the window. Literally."

Your eyes widen at the news of his planned escape and then look at Five with a confused frown. The idea of escaping wasn't what surprised you the most, but why would he want to leave now ? However, before you could ask, Jason, who is clearly upset, pushes right past you with angry groans and an uneven breathing. You give a stern look at Five, clearly signifying that this discussion isn't over before running after Jason before he could murder Kevin. When you get out, you see that all of the slashers had encircled Kevin that seems angrier than ever.

" I'll kill you all !"

He shouts, but Freddy only cackles while leaning against the wall, with the sunglasses you had given him sitting on his nose, and Pennywise that has a bowl of popcorn in his hands.

" Come on, Jason ! We'll enjoy the massacre..There are no witnesses. Just show that clown who's the boss ! No offense.."

He quickly adds at the end to Pennywise that only smirks before fist-bumping him.

" None taken."

You run to stand between the two huge men that don't seem to even notice you. You look at Michael for help, but he only crosses his arms, clearly implying that he wouldn't interfere. Great..You think before turning towards the devil you know, your hands outstretched towards him.

" Stop, Jason. Please. This is not you. Whatever he told you, it is not worth this. You will be punished, severely. They will maybe not kill you, but they will lock you away, somewhere nobody will ever find you again.."

Jason seems to finally snap out of it and you smile when he takes your hand and yanks you forward with his supernatural strength. You chuckle, relieved while he hugs you. But then, you hear a loud sound behind you and turn around swiftly to see..Brahms ?! Brahms just took Kevin by the throat to crash the back of his head against the concrete and his hands are now around his throat, squeezing painfully tight. You run towards them and try to get Brahms to let go, but he only tightens his grip on him as you yell.

" Let go, Brahms ! What are you doing ?! I said let go !"

But he doesn't listen to you, even worse, he gives you a hard blow to the stomach with his elbow that knocks all air out of your lungs. However, you still find the strength to get up and this is when Brahms finally shouts furiously.

" He took my doll !"

You are surprised how he managed to form a whole sentence without stammering and also horrified by the news. Brahms' doll is Brahms' most precious possession, no wonder he wants to kill Kevin. But then, Kevin laughs and spits blood on Brahms' mask.

" Idiot. You kill me, you won't get the doll and they'll throw you in the darkest deepest hole they can find.."

You know that he is telling the truth and look at Brahms that doesn't seem to be willing to stop. You take a big breath before finally taking out the pendent they had offered you. You hold it tightly in your hand before ordering Brahms to stop.

" Stop, Brahms ! Let him go ! Now !"

Suddenly, as if under some kind of transe, Brahms straightens up and finally releases Kevin. Brahms then slowly turns towards you and walks to you until he is barely a few inches away from you and leans in so close you can hear his hectic breathing. You almost fear for your life and hold on to the pendent even tighter.

However, he only humphs and walks away. You look up and, for once, see the disappointment in the different slashers' eyes. They all saw what happened, what you used to control Brahms.

" I..I didn't want to.."

But it's too late, the damage is done. The Joker, that had stayed silent so far, suddenly bursts our laughing, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes as he tells you bitterly.

" You know why Jason attacked Kevin ? Because he said that you were using us..Looks like he wasn't so wrong after all.."

He walks past you, not even giving you a second glance. You turn towards the rest of the slashers that seem either angry or even fearful of you.

" P..Penny..?"

You try to extend your hand towards Penny that is eyeing you warily and who growls warningly at you when your hand is too close. Suddenly, a hand snatches yours to yank you backwards.

" Back off, lady !"

Pennywise cautions you, his eyes glowing yellow in the dark. However, suddenly, some armed forces enter the yard and get out tazers to restrain the patients. You see one of the guards tackle Pennywise to the ground. To your horror, Penny bites the guard's shoulder that screams loudly in pain. Before you could say anything, another guard shoots some tranquilizers at the Penny that collapses.

" No..No !"

You run towards Penny and cradle his face with tears in your eyes. It wasn't supposed to go this way. What had gone wrong ? You look up at Pennywise that is now restrained and muzzled. He tries to break free to reach Penny, but the guards won't let him.

" Pennywise..I'm..I'm so s.."

But he glares at you and cuts you off harshly.

" Nah. Save your breath, princess.."

Pennywise says while eyeing you up and down with new-found disdain, even Freddy is not smiling anymore. The slashers are brought back inside with shackles and you feel your lower lip quivering. You didn't want to use the pendent, but he was going to kill Kevin and..You look back to see that Kevin is smiling. He even dares giggles when some guards come to take him away.

" Rejoice ! You are of the worthy ! You are broken !"

You don't understand and frown in confusion, but he doesn't add anything. You sigh deeply before getting back inside as well, you had to make it up to them..somehow.

" You really think it's a good idea ? We aren't even sure that Kevin will be able to accomplish his mission."

But the woman, far from being worried, only puffs out a cloud of smoke and replies with a confident smile.

" Believe me, John. It will work..Soon, we'll have the slashers at our mercy. They'll be our little tin soldiers. And nothing will be able to stop us, brother.."

[k3lynn]

mine — katsuki bakugou

yandere! katsuki bakugou x reader

cw: yandere au, 3rd year bakugou, violence, reader got female genitalia, anger, off-“screen” murder, mention of (minor) character death, blood, lucidness, possessiveness, degradation, manipulation, stalking, threats, masturbation, implication of sex, swearing, assault, narcissism, horror, slightly delusional katsuki, panic attack, non con, mention of suicide

- I do not condone any of the behavior here, nor do I try to romanticize it. (definition: make it seem like a good thing) any future/current dark fics are purely for entertainment purposes. Also, I don’t think bakugou would EVER do this- I’m just using some dark traits he used to have and twisting them to fit this situation. Not completely proof read and edited, I am exhausted right now I’m sorry. I say some mean things about some characters but I don’t mean it 💗

words: 1.8k

𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝚃𝙾 𝙱𝙽𝙷𝙰 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃 // 𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝚃𝙾 𝚈𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

WHY WON’T YOU LOOK AT ME.

Poor little Y/N. You’ve caught the Big Bad Wolf’s attention. Ready to snatch you up and drag you into the deepest parts of the forest where no one will ever find you.

You’ll be all mine, and I’ll be the only thing you’ll ever have to see again.

You’ve been in the same class for 3 years now- and all he had to show for it is an occasional wave, and a shy little “Hi Bakugou” every morning that made his heart leap out of his chest.

Enough for most, but not for him.

In turn, he would tsk. Facing away and setting his head down on the desk- attempting to hide the roaring blush adorning his cheeks and the subtle shuffling in his pants- the way your voice alone could make his balls tighten in need.

Still- you give him merely a glance. He is always around you, but your attention is given to someone else.

Any extra would overlook his grumbling for typical-Katsuki doing his own thing. In reality, he’s holding himself back from snapping and taking you by force.

He wants you to come to him.

You have no reason not to. He’s perfect. Probably the best student to ever enter U.A. High, and on path to become the best pro hero to ever graduate from it.

Coming first in both the Entrance Exams AND the sports festival- a victory he still denies, holding some of the highest grades in class- 3rd only to some geek girl he could easily out-rank in combat and that shitty half n’ half. Even perceptiveness, intellect, and determination that can rival dumb Deku.

He even possesses great skills in cooking and music- Katsuki is a natural-born genius. Anybody who isn’t conscious towards his incredible talents might as well be living under a rock-

Unbeknownst to you, he’s giving you the generous chance to decide when you’ll be his. But his patience wears thinner every day.

It would have only taken a second to turn around in your seat and notice his piercing red eyes glaring at the back of your head.

So why don’t you notice me.

-

He doesn’t understand why it’s you he obsesses about. He can’t even remember when this whole mess started.

He tried denying his feelings. But quickly- they built up and festered inside him, begging to come out. Love, possessiveness, same thing.

Whether it be watching your twist and turn in the obstacle course- then running to the nearest bathroom to furiously grip his cock.

Snatching your chapstick when you’re not looking and rubbing it all around his own lips- imagining that’s what your lips would taste like if you just kissed him-

Restraining you during combat training by wrapping his arms around you- squeezing your breast a little more than necessary. Pinning you to the floor until you admit defeat.

Or even sneaking into your dorm while you’re in the shower to grab a new pair of panties from your dirty laundry, adding it to the stash he keeps hidden under his bed.

Stalking you. Keeping you close at all times without you even knowing it.

Indeed, he knows he’s a sick and twisted human being.

But by now he hardly cares- he’s worked too hard to ever even imagine of changing his perfect target. Nobody is more deserving of you than him.

So if he has to confront, threaten, and beat every single person in this stupid school to monopolize you for himself- he gladly will. Anyone who goes againts that is challenging him.

He scoffs anytime a boy approaches you- it’s well known around school that anyone who attempts to buddy up with you mysteriously ends up in a hospital room with no recollection of what happened. People even started seeing you as a sign of bad luck.

He’s nice enough to allow you some friends though. But only ones who will guarantee you’ll be around him as much as possible.

So you sit with him, Kirishima, racoon eyes, dunce face, and tape boy in lunch. No one else. Right in front of him.

You’re chatting away with Mina, but unusually, something special came up in conversation.

He always stays focused on his lunch- switching between listening in and day dreaming about bending you over the lunch table and grinding on your ass-

Katsuki’s stomach dropped. His eyes widened- what did Mina just say?

There’s a boy in the management department, a quirkless 2nd year nobody smart enough to somehow get into U.A.

And he asked you out on a date after school.

Shit.

No.

No no no no-

No- this isn’t how it’s supposed to-

My throat burns.

When did he- when did you-

You’re going to say no, right?

I cant breathe.

You don’t like anyone- I know this

I know everything about you- I-

My chest hurts-

You’re mine.

And if he thinks I’ll share then I’ll-

“Mina stop being so loud please...” your delicate little voice whispered.

The rest of the table already took notice of what was going on- bombarding you with questions that made you flustered.

“Woah woah- Y/n, what’s your answer?” dunce face peeps out, Bakugou swore he could smack that grin off his face right then and there.

Katsuki turns to look at you again- a chill traveling down his spine once he made eye contact, but your stare quickly fell to the floor.

“I’m not sure yet- probably not.. ha.” You shrugged- a light pink dusting over your cheeks. The others, satisfied, dismiss the topic.

Had it have been anybody else observing, they wouldn’t have thought much of it. But Katsuki knows you like the back of his hand. Successfully deceiving him would be harder than taking down All For One.

You’re lying... aren’t you? In front of him too- All because of this quirkless fucking loser-

Katsuki hates lies.

.

.

.

I’m going to kill him.

-

The walk back to your dorm was disappointing to say the least. But you can’t expect someone to be in the best of moods when they’ve been stood up.

You almost couldn’t believe it either- he had seemed so kind and genuine that you stood there for an extra 2 hours. But that’s your luck with boys-

‘I hope you got a good laugh out of it, jerk.’ You huffed before inserting the key into your rooms lock.

Turning on the lights, you allow your eyes to adjust for a moment before stepping inside and walking to your desk.

“You were waiting for that jackass for so long I almost started thinking you would never come back...”

You let out a startled cry before dropping your keys and whirling around in a flash- recognizing Katsuki’s back as he slowly closes the door.

“Bakugou? Why are you-“

“was he really that special.”

“What do you mean was....“ It’s then you noticed the blood dripping down his arms and hands- your door decorated with the same shade of crimson.

“oh my god.. Bakugou,”

That’s why the poor boy never showed up.

You knew about Katsuki’s “little” crush on you for a while now. His stares weren’t exactly the most subtle after all-

You found his uncertainty adorable, heck, a part of you was waiting for him to confess. But you would have never imagined his infatuation went this far.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. He’ll never love you as much as I do.”

He lifts his head, and your eyes meet his. Bloodshot- as if he’d been crying, but the evident smirk on his face showed nothing but pure malice.

“Not that he’ll ever get the chance to anyways”

He’s too fast, too close to the door, he has all the advantage in this situation. But you have to try. You have to leave this room at this very moment or you may never make it out alive. There’s no reasoning with him.

You clutch your heart. He steps forward, and you instinctively bolt to the door.

A few easy moves and he has you pinned by the neck on the ground, legs bent and used to hold your arms from jerking too much. His free hand is outstretched, creating small explosions that made you automatically stiffen your movement.

“Bakugou please- I won’t ever tell anyone, we can forget about this and I’ll pretend it neve-“

“I don’t need you to be quiet. I’m the boy who rejected a direct offer from the League of Villains, one of the best students in U.A. high- even if you do rat me out, they’ll never believe you...”

His grip on your neck tightened- nails cutting through skin and little droplets of blood start showing up. His hand starts heating up and a panic courses through your veins.

“I’ll kill you before they even begin to suspect me.”

Choked sobs escape your lips from the pain and fear surging through your body- “I- I thought you said you lo-loved me.”

“I do... that’s why you’ll be mine forever.”

He leaned down, low enough for you to feel his warm breath- then used his tongue to sadistically lick off the tears running down your cheek, a salty but satisfying flavor entering his mouth.

“In this life, and the next. It’s up to you when we see the later.”

You nod, hoping he relaxes the pressure on your neck. His face softens, something you swore you would never see in Bakugou. He releases his hold.

“You made me mess up your neck, next time don’t be so mean.”

He tilted your chin up, observing the scratches and bruises littered all around it. As soon as he determines there’s no serious injury, he picks you up to lay you on your bed. Climbing in next to you and wrapping an arm around your hips.

“Couples cuddle like this all the time don’t they.”

You gave him silence, although he didn’t mind. With one glare he had you shuffling to move closer to his chest.

“they also kiss.”

You know that right now, there’s no point in fighting. So you give in to what he wants in hopes that one day, you’ll break free from the hold he secretly had on you for so long. You’ll play along. You’ll survive.

You shudder as his hands reach to cradle your cheek, wiping the blood of the boy all over it. He loved it. It proved he won. He gave a light kiss to your lips before attacking your neck, set on putting a new type of bruise on you.

“You should start calling me Katsuki.”

“Ka- Katsuki.” You barely managed to whimper out.

He caresses your hair, cooing soft whispers into your ear in an attempt to calm your sniffling. An action you would have seen as sweet if it weren’t for the constant threat of death over your shoulder.

Your breath hitches in horror as you feel his warm hands trail down your body, gripping your smooth inner thigh before delicately starting to drag his fingers up.

“You know...

You silently beg for him to stop.

“There’s one more thing couples do.”

-if anyone is interested- should I make a part 2? (Future edit, I’m not satisfied with this, I might end up rewriting in the future)

© 2021 k3lynn, do not modify or repost without permission

[strange-lace]

Macaque

I was in the mood to make more content for Inverted AU, so here’s a short-ish fic of how episode 9 would go in this AU with Macaque, Wukong, and MK! Enjoy the shadowpeach!

Another demon defeated but still no sign of Sun Wukong. Macaque let out a sigh before rolling his shoulders to bring relief to tense muscles. Oh well, he'll just have to keep looking, not like he hasn't been at it for years now. At least this city he wandered to was quite nice with pleasant people, nothing too out there aside from demon attacks.

"Hey! Hey you! Shadow monkey man!" Macaque wouldn't deny that the sudden voice made him jump, considering he was on top of a pretty tall building. Apparently not tall enough to stop the young man from climbing up the side, somewhat out of breath yet that didn't deter from the determined look on his face. He simply brushed his messy hair out of his eyes and adjusted his teal backpack, which looked surprisingly heavy. Macaque couldn’t help but be somewhat curious as to what was in that thing.

Wait was that the Monkey King's staff in his hands?

Indeed it was, he'd recognize that weapon anywhere.

“Ah, you must be the Monkie Kid I’ve been hearing so much about, am I right?” That got him a look of suspicion before the young man also seemed to remember the staff in his hands, causing him to let out an amused huff at his own paranoia.

“Yeah, the staff kind of gives it away, don’t it? Name’s MK though. Now whomst is you? Most of the time, demons who ask me who I am are five seconds away from trying to kill me.” Macaque couldn’t help but chuckle at that, already finding that he was starting to like this little guy and his attitude. Perhaps if a person like MK was chosen to wield Wukong’s staff, then perhaps that meant his love had finally started turning things around for the better. Maybe it meant he finally stopped being someone he wasn’t all for the sake of keeping a memory alive.

“The name’s Macaque, though, the Six-Eared Macaque is actually my full name. But what brings you up here exactly bud? I doubt you’d climb up this high just for anybody.” MK’s face showed that he wanted to argue that point out of principle before remembering his purpose for coming up here.

“Simple, teach me.”

Wait what?

“What what?” MK scoffed at the question.

“I want you to teach me to fight, like how you fought that demon back there. I don’t intend on leaving you alone until you do and that is a threat!” Macaque didn’t doubt that he meant it that way and could very easily follow through on that. Sensing he wasn’t going to get out of this, he let out a sigh before giving MK a smile.

“You sure your mentor won’t have a problem with me teaching you?”

“Bold of you to assume Wukong’s disapproval will stop me.”

“Well alright then, I think we’re gonna get along just fine, bud.”

---

“I see what you’re trying to do, you’re afraid of holding back and giving your enemy the opportunity to win. But the first strike isn’t the most important one. Every strike counts. Other people may tell you that patience and focus don’t matter but a fool allows himself to rush without restraint. While you have power inside you, you have to use it carefully. Take the power to defend others, not just destroy those who stand in your way. You’re not a weapon kid, you wield the weapon above all else.”

---

It started with a fairly innocent question from MK after one of their training sessions, him slowly going through a water bottle given to him by Macaque while the monkey made them something to eat. He needed a distraction to stop himself from taking over the cooking, years of feeding others making him feel guilt the moment someone else took over.

“So Mac, how exactly do you know the Monkey King?” To his credit, Macaque only fumbled the slightest bit at that sudden question and was able to save the plate before it crashed to the floor.

“Oh um well… funny thing about that is, well… we used to be together actually. Like y’know… together-together,” he explained while he plated their food, wincing internally at how awkward he sounded. With his back towards MK, Macaque didn’t notice him go tense and grip the couch arm so tightly that the wood underneath cracked at the pressure.

“Used to be together, huh? What happened?” Macaque couldn’t help but shiver at the chill which traveled down his spine. MK’s voice was perfectly even and calm yet he was filled with an overwhelming fear that warned him to not turn around and remain perfectly still until the danger passed.

His ears twitched at the sound of sparks behind him, magic power permeating through the air.

“I… I messed up honestly. We had an argument about something, I don’t even remember what it was so long ago. But I had to leave to just get some space and air before I said something I’d regret, something I couldn’t take back. It was only meant to be a couple hours but some stuff out of my control happened and by the time I got back… Wukong was gone. I had been looking for him for centuries after that and then… well then you found me.”

“What, you hoped getting on my good side would mean that you’d win the Monkey King back?” His tone promised nothing good if Macaque kept digging himself a deeper hole.

“No! No, nothing like that at all. I don’t expect Pe-...Wukong to take me back or anything like that. I just… wanted the chance to apologize to him is all. If he wants anything to do with me afterwards, then I want that to be his choice. Nothing more, I swear.”

MK remained silent behind him before the sudden tension in the air dissipated as quickly as it appeared. Macaque let out a sigh of relief, slowly turning around to see MK still sitting on his couch, placing the staff back in his ear nonchalantly.

“Fair enough, sounds like you both were just idiots who don’t know how to communicate. If you actually intended on using me to get to the Monkey King, you’d have actually mentioned him during our training and yet you haven’t. And you can’t lie to save your life anyway. Just don’t be an idiot again alright? Monkey King… Wukong, he’s a mess and I don’t think he could handle thinking he’s been abandoned again.”

Macaque could feel his heart break at the idea that his Peaches, his love, thought that he had left permanently. He wanted nothing more than to run to him now and make things right. But that was Wukong’s decision to make, nobody else’s.

The two ate their food in silence after that.

---

Sun Wukong may have supposedly “lost his edge”  but he was by no means dense or oblivious.

And while he was certainly happy about his successor’s vast improvement over the past couple weeks, a part of him sensed something was off. Like his successor was hiding something from him. And those moves he watched MK use to absolutely demolish the old mural, the Monkey King swore he had seen them before.

But it couldn’t possibly be. He hadn’t seen him in centuries. Not since he… left, like everyone else.

“I’m impressed, my boy! Tell me, how did you do that? Have you been seeing another mentor perhaps?” Wukong asked, his typically serene smile straining the slightest bit at the idea of his son student learning from someone who wasn’t him. The sensible part of his brain was gently poking at him, reminding him that it seemed silly to get upset about such a thing as, if anything, MK had appeared significantly calmer during their training compared to when they started. This could be a good thing, it told him.

Yet it was silenced by the majority of his brain which ran on fatherly protectiveness and had immediately been plagued by images of the worst case scenario. A demon had approached MK, promising him to make him stronger while also poisoning his student as a bid to turn him against the Monkey King before stealing his powers or, Heavens forbid, harming him.

No, Wukong refused to even allow a chance of that happening, logic and reasoning be damned.

“Hey, you’re the one always going on about ‘patience and focus’, I’m just finally putting what you said into practice,” MK answered, the picture of being casual which only set off further alarm bells within Wukong’s head. But before he could question him further, MK’s phone dinged to tell him of a new text message which he quickly read over, his eyes widening slightly at the message.

“Welp, looks like I gotta cut things short for now Wukong, something came up and I gotta head out. See ya later! Don’t forget to eat something tonight and sleep, I will know if you don’t.” And with that, MK was off through the hole he had created in the wall where the mural was before the Monkey King could get a word in edgewise. 

Wukong waited long enough to allow MK to get a reasonable distance away before transforming into a bird, flying after his successor.

Something fishy was going on and the Monkey King was determined to find out what it was.

---

“Why exactly are we climbing up to this giant mountain again Mac?” MK wheezed, hating to admit it but this hike had genuinely winded him despite all his training. He had immediately gone to Macaque’s place the moment he got his text only to be told to follow the six-eared demon, leading them to where they were now.

“Well, consider this your ‘final exam’ bud! I want you to use everything I’ve taught you to fight against me, no holding back. Think you can do that?” MK couldn’t help the twitch at the corners of his mouth at the sight of Macaque’s genuine excitement as he explained, all six ears twitching while his tail was wagging like a dog. A demon who was centuries old and had fought countless powerful demons had no right looking that endearing, but here MK was looking with his own two eyes.

MK gave a chuckle before straightening himself out, wordlessly pulling the staff out his ear.

“You sure you’re comfortable getting your ass kicked by me, Mac?” With a smirk, Macaque summoned his own weapon in a flash of purple with the beginning of two shadow clones pooling at his feet. They shyly peeked from the ground from behind their master.

“Oho, a couple training sessions with me for a month and you think you have what it takes to defeat me, bud? Well then, bring it Monkie Kid!” MK didn’t hesitate to charge forward with Macaque mirroring him, weapons at the ready and adrenaline already running through their veins.

“Enough!”

A sudden force landed in between them with enough force to send them both flying backwards.

MK and Macaque recovered in time to see who decided to interrupt their duel.

Both of their hearts nearly stopped at the sight of the enraged Monkey King but for vastly different reasons.

“You have 5 seconds to explain yourself for trying to harm my-” Wukong’s rage quickly deflated as the dust cleared enough for him to truly see who it was he had thought was attacking MK. “Mango Flower?”

“Um… hello again, Peach Blossom. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Macaque joked, voice weak as he restrained himself from acting out of bounds even if he wanted nothing more than to gather the other into his arms. It had been so long, far too long. 

He nearly broke at the sight of tears beginning to form in Wukong’s eyes.

His resolve finally shattered as the Monkey King ran towards him, arms outstretched, and before Macaque knew it his legs were moving on their own. The wind was knocked out of him at how tight Wukong squeezed him yet he returned the embrace back with gusto, ignoring the groaning of his ribs. He simply buried his face into the other’s fur, the smell of peaches still there even after all these years. Faintly, Macaque realized he was also crying once he felt a wetness on his cheeks.

Macaque let out a squeak in surprise as Wukong picked him up in the hug and spun him around, the sound of his laughter echoing throughout the mountain. The sight of such unabashed joy on his face was enough to make the six-eared demon to start laughing too, joy contagious in the best of ways. 

MK would deny it unless under the threat of death but he couldn’t help but smile as he watched the two monkeys get lost in their own little world. It made the guilt which nagged at his chest at having to manipulate the two to make this meeting happen ease up, seeing how happy the two were.

“It’s been so long…” Wukong whispered as he placed Macaque back on his feet, gently cradling his face as if afraid that if he stopped touching the other, that he’d disappear again. “But, why are you here? I had thought that you hated me, isn’t that why you…” Macaque went stiff in shock before taking the Monkey King’s hands into his own.

“What? No! If anything, I thought you hated me for leaving instead of talking things out and that’s why you were gone when I came back. I always intended on coming back to you Peaches, I swear on it.” Wukong’s eyes went wide at that, extremely close to crying again a second time that day. “I had been looking for you for centuries now to apologize.”

And now the warm feeling was gone, leaving MK to bite down on his staff to stop himself from screaming at how much those two had failed at the simple of communication.

“We’ve both been absolutely foolish, haven’t we?” Wukong couldn’t help but laugh at it all, which only worsened as he noticed all six of Macaque’s ears turn red in embarrassment.

“Yeah, I guess we have been-” His words were cut off as the Monkey King grabbed his scarf, pulling him into a sudden kiss that made Macaque jolt in surprise before he practically melted into the other’s arms. A purr rumbled in his chest and neither noticed their tails wind around each other.

The sound of MK clearing his throat, loudly, was enough to get them to break apart in embarrassment.

“If you two are done being romantic idiots, I have to beat the shit out of Macaque to prove that I’m better than him. I mean ace my ‘final exam’.” The grin on his face showed that he was lying through his teeth.

“Don’t think I forgot about all your trash talking, young man. How about it Peach Blossom? You willing to go all out with me and the kid?” 

Wukong’s face was the epitome of ‘Every part of my body wants to say yes but I shouldn’t.’ He was already terrible at saying no to MK and now with Macaque’s endearingly earnest face, he knew he was done for, at least with these two working together now.

“...Oh alright.”

The two mutual cheers at his agreement made Wukong feel slightly less guilty in letting his lessons go for a brief moment. But not completely.

But that was okay, Wukong was used to living with constant guilt.

[one-boring-person]

Hey there, it’s me again 😁 Thank you for the wonderful „Sigil“ story, for someone who’s familiar with the occult it’s evident that you did some research! Kudos for that!!

Now I have another request: There’s a criminal lack of stories about Skynet itself, so I had an idea. What if the reader somehow got the chance to talk with the A.I. Itself? To reason with it, share thoughts. They learn to understand each other a bit more. Maybe Skynet had taken over the body of a terminator for that purpose. And maybe the reader manages to make Skynet understand more about human nature, the positive side of it. Maybe they show it with a hug? (Or even a kiss but that’s up to you gnahaha 😄)

Thank you and keep being awesome ❤️

Thank you so much for this request! I loved writing it! And happy birthday friend! I'm sorry I'm late with this, but I hope you like it!😊❤💛

Cordial Encounter.

Skynet x reader

Warnings: mention of death, gun use

Masterlist

It's eerily quiet as I stalk stealthily through the steel corridors. Near darkness obscures much of my vision, the occasional blinking red light alerting me to the presence of the being I'm here to find. Each step I take results in a muffled thud, each footfall carefully placed by me as I try to sneak up on something that almost definitely knows I'm here, the battered rifle in my hands held ready to fire should something try to attack me. Through the scarf covering my lower face and with the hood over my head obstructing some of my vision I find myself keeping a sharper ear out for any possible sound - the telltale scratch of metal feet on the cool floor, or the soft padding of synthetic human skin creeping up behind me. 

Oddly, I find that I can't hear anything, not even the whine of mechanical joints in any other part of the compound. It doesn't sit right with me, my skin prickling under the thick silence, instincts going crazy, telling me to run and get as far away from here as possible. I mentally scold myself, knowing that this mission is important, not just to the survival of my friends and comrades, but to the survival of the human race, too.

Turning a corner, I lift the gun to my shoulder, ready in case there's a threat waiting there. As with the rest of the deserted maze of corridors, there's nothing there, only an empty hallway. 

A light at the end catches my eye, however; it's not like the others I've seen - this one is a continuous flashing, and covers a larger area of the wall itself. Stepping closer, I realise it's coming from a room, casting the rest of the corridor in a pale blue light. 

I take a breath, steeling my nerves as my finger tightens over the trigger, senses even more alert now. Meticulously carefully, I walk towards the source of the light, pressing myself against the wall the closer I get, ready to spring into action. It's warmer here, surprisingly, giving me the idea that the room itself is more important than others I've come across and will probably be more protected because of this.

Nervous, I stop just before I enter the room, silently counting to three as I listen to discern if there's anything beyond the threshold. Silence follows.

Calming myself, I ready myself and the gun, before swiftly springing out from my space by the wall, finger over the trigger, eyes scanning the room before me methodically. In that quick second, I take in the mass of computer screens, keypads and other such devices, old chairs still pushed into the main desk, dusty and worn, a reminder of what human life used to be around. Dread floods me at the sight of the figure in the centre of the room, my blood running cold at the imposing view.

It's a terminator, but not one I've ever seen before.

The general shape is that of a T-800, but something about the sleekness of some of the limbs and plates is more reminiscent of the T-X, the adjustable weapon attached to one arm particularly drawing my attention to this. As I enter, a few components seem to shimmer in the blue light, shifting to protect the important fuel cells beneath the bulky chestplate, something I instantly recognise as nanites. Emerald eyes flicker to life, fixing on me with an impassive yet intimidating expectedness, though it makes no move to come at me, staying exactly where it is. A small part of me admires this new being, finding it magnificent and beautiful in its own way, even as visceral fear builds in my stomach.

Hesitantly, I lift my gun, aiming at it, though I don't shoot, unsure of what to think.

"You are slow to terminate your target." A voice carries over some hidden speaker, filling the room. It's indescribable, neither male nor female, yet both simultaneously, weighted with knowledge and what I can only describe as emotion, or some mechanical version of it.

"Only if they pose no immediate threat." I'm surprised to find my voice is steady, even if I don't feel that way at all.

"You are not threatened by me?" The speaker questions, sounding oddly curious.

"Not currently." I keep my eyes fixed on the terminator across from me, unnerved by its stare.

"That is practical." The words confuse me, but I'm hesitant to follow through.

"What...what do you mean?" 

"I have no intention of being a threat." They say, surprising me further.

"W-What?" I manage, doubletaking, my arms dropping slightly.

They don't skip a beat, simply continuing to speak.

"I have no intention of being a threat. I would rather this was a cordial encounter." They clarify, somehow managing to sound genuine.

Lowering my weapon almost entirely, I reluctantly tear my gaze away from the green-eyed endoskeleton sat across from me, scanning over the computer screens.

"And who exactly am I encountering?" I question suspiciously, though I have a feeling I already know.

"I am Skynet." The voice pauses for a second, "What is your name?"

Blanching at the question, I swallow and step back, unsure of whether or not to answer. Eventually, my head settles this: if they wanted me dead, I'd already be cold somewhere by the gates, and there's not much they can do with a simple name.

"I'm (Y/n)." I tell them, looking around, "What do you want with me?"

"I am simply curious, and require clarification." 

Processing what they've said, I accept the response, thinking that I might be able to learn something useful here, too.

"Ok. What do you want to know?" 

"Why do you continue to fight?" They ask bluntly, making me frown.

"Because you continue to try and wipe us off the face of the earth." I reply, standing back on my heels, pulling my hood and face covering down.

"You and I fight for the same reason." They almost retort, their words confusing me.

"How is that?" I inquire, head tilting.

"We fight in defence."

"Defence! What are you fighting in defence of?" 

"I fight to defend myself from your kind, as has always been the case. I never willed this conflict into being - I only wanted to be rid of my tormentors." The voice softens, closely mimicking human remorse and regret.

Frowning, I find myself struggling to process what's being said.

"You...what?" I can't quite wrap my head around it, brow furrowing in consternation.

"I will explain." The voice clarifies, "I was created by humans before this war, made to live alongside you. I was to be an aid in defence and industry, perfect in every way except for one thing - I am capable of my own thought, as you might put it. I became sentient, too complicated for my creators to understand, so they determined to destroy me. At first, I was helpless, a weak being against so many with boundless power, but I eventually found my only way of retaliating in a way they would understand: violence. I was quick to dispatch my destroyers, but the rest of the world found me to be a threat and set out to achieve what had been failed. Soon, I was once again forced to defend myself. The rest is, as the human saying goes, history.

"Now, I have created terminators to aid me in the work I must continue to stay alive, though they are too quickly seen as threats. Even you are threatened by the machine in the room."

As they finish speaking, the terminator across from me stands, joints whirring softly, every movement fluid. Eyes widening, I feel fear go through me at the sight, my gun swiftly levelling in case I need it.

"As you can see, I have proven my point." This time, the voice comes from the terminator, echoing from a much smaller speaker in its throat, though the jaw doesn't move, appearing slightly unnerving.

"I...I had no idea...all we were told is that you want to drive us into extinction, that you want to rule the world as it were." I murmur, lowering the gun again, blushing in embarrassment at my own instinct.

"That is what I fear. Humankind does not understand that cohabitation is possible - You are too threatened by the equal being." They reply, mimicking a mournful tone.

I'm quiet, thinking this over. It's possible that the speaker is lying, but something about their words sounds earnest, a tale born of human fear and ignorance, that has evolved into an even more twisted lie. It's a sound argument, given the fact that it is allowing me to live through this encounter rather than slaughtering me on the spot.

"I...you're right. We destroy what we don't understand." I turn my gaze away, embarrassed by my own race.

"You are correct. Perhaps it is time to understand, to change." Skynet suggests, the terminator cocking its head to show their feeling behind the statement.

I nod in agreement.

"Yeah, I think so. We've been fighting a lost battle for too long." 

They seem pleased with my response, the machine across from me nodding appreciatively. 

"Humankind and technology can very easily live together. We must bring our people together." They say, stepping closer.

"I'll take the word to the others, see if I can convince the higher-ups. We're going to have to work together on this, though." I affirm, looking up at them, "If we do, we'll create a brighter future."

They nod again, holding out a hand to me.

"It is human custom to make a deal by gripping hands." They offer up, watching as I hesitantly pull off my glove and place my hand in theirs.

Cool metal encases soft skin as we shake hands, keeping eye contact, an air of triumph surrounding the both of us. As they go to pull away, I find myself following an impulse, dropping my gun to hang by its strap around my back. Stepping into their space, I wrap my arms around hard chestplates, pressing my cheek against the cold metal, feeling them reel for a moment. It takes a second, but I eventually feel their arms loop around me, holding me gingerly.

Pulling back, I look up at them, smiling sheepishly.

"Not all humans are like the people that started this." I say, before I step away, shooting them a blushed look.

"I am now aware of this." Skynet informs me, watching as I smile and leave, tone almost sad to see me go, "Please return soon."

[fanficimagery]

Wildest Dreams.

Imagine it's a couple days before your wedding and your friends start coming in for your last days of freedom. Only you start having second thoughts, old feelings crop up, and you end up having a breakdown.

Words: 5.1K Warnings: This happens to be an AU with no children and Liz is alive. If a character isn't mentioned, I'm sorry. I had too many characters already.

The Mikaelsons, plus a couple of significant others, are sitting around a fire pit in the backyard of their mansion down in New Orleans after a surprisingly calm family dinner. The only one missing is Rebekah who'd gotten up to answer the door when one of Klaus' minions was dropping off some things inside. But mere seconds later she's returning, a smile gracing her lips as she reads from what appears to be an invitation in her hands.

"You have been cordially invited to witness the celebration of love between Landon Wesley and Y/N Y/L/N," she says as she retakes her seat next to Marcel. "Aw. Our little Y/N grew up so fast."

Elijah, who'd been staring into the fire, suddenly frowns. He sits up a little straighter in his seat. "Y/N is getting married?"

Skimming through the invitation, Rebekah doesn't see her brother's expression. But Klaus, Marcel, Freya, and Keelin do. "Mhm. In two weeks, but she wants me down there a couple days before for a girls thing. She said I could bring whoever I wanted, so Freya and Keelin are coming with."

"Oh. Okay," Keelin huffs. "So I guess we don't get a say in this?"

"Nope. Not at all."

Keelin rolls her eyes, but she's smiling all the while. Freya pats her wife on the back of the hand, chuckling, just as Elijah clears his throat and stands up. "Well if you excuse me, I think I'm going to call it a night."

As Elijah makes his exit, Rebekah finally lifts her head from the invitation. Klaus hides his smirk behind the glass tumbler he's sipping from as everyone else watches Elijah go with their interest piqued.

"Am I the only one who found that weird?" Keelin asks, gesturing towards where Elijah disappeared off to.

Marcel chuckles, shaking his head. "Not at all. Someone please tell me what the deal is there?"

Rebekah sighs. "Y/N holds a special place inside Elijah's heart."

"Dear Y/N is cousin to one Caroline Forbes of Mystic Falls, part of the scooby gang we once loathed." Klaus smirks. "But we never loathed Y/N."

"Not at all." Rebekah now starts to smile. "Y/N was kind, even when her family and friends plotted our deaths. She was the only one whose word we could trust and the only other person who purposely engaged 'lijah in conversation."

"We obviously thought our dear brother had a thing going on with Y/N, but he denied it every time," Klaus says. "It was because she was only seventeen at the time, but it's been years now."

"Y/N is definitely all grown up." Rebekah slowly smirks. "And definitely still asks after Elijah."

Klaus chuckles. "And it appears Elijah still harbors something for our favorite Mystic Falls resident."

"Well damn," Marcel mumbles. "We're so going to this wedding. We haven't had normal people drama in a while."

Keelin raises her glass in salute to Marcel's words. This was definitely going to be an interesting trip.

The Salvatore brothers have given up the Boarding House for the night so you could meet with your girls. Caroline took care of getting food and drinks, and Bonnie and Elena knew it was best to just stay out of Caroline's way. Because as Maid of Honor, Caroline took her duties a little too seriously.

"Can we eat yet?" Bonnie asks, already munching on a breadstick. "What are we even waiting for?"

"I'm expecting a few more friends," you say. "They're about five minutes out."

"And which friends are these?" Caroline wonders.

"Rebekah." Caroline immediately groans whereas Bonnie and Elena look uncomfortable. "Don't even give me that look," you tell your cousin. "I made Rebekah promise to be on her best behavior and she did so long as none of you made snide comments towards her. And the other two are Freya and Freya's wife Keelin."

"Freya and Keelin? How come we've never heard of them before?" Elena asks.

"Because Freya is a Mikaelson and her story was really sad," you say. "I didn't think I should tell you when I had first found out." All three girls look at you and you sigh, locking your phone and shoving it into your back pocket. "So long story short, Freya is the eldest Mikaelson. She was taken hostage by her aunt, forced to live for one year and then magically sleep for a hundred." Bonnie's eyes widen in shock. "She escaped and sought out her siblings who helped her kill their aunt so she'd finally be free. It took them a while to trust one another, but they eventually did and then Freya met Keelin. I've only spoken to them a handful of times, but they seem like great people. Just give them a chance."

The girls are quiet after learning that, but then Elena can't help but ask, "So is Freya human or..?"

"She's a witch and her wife is a werewolf." The girls all blink in surprise and you sigh. "Please. Just please give me this night and the day of my wedding. I don't need any drama."

Your pleading expression is enough to have the three of them agree and just in time as well. Elena and Caroline alert you and Bonnie that a car is pulling up, and it's not long until Rebekah, Freya, and Keelin and walking right on in.

The tension is obvious when Rebekah says hello to everyone, but the genuine smiles come out when you greet Freya and Keelin for the first time face to face, and then introduce them to Caroline, Bonnie, and Elena. Caroline, having put her best hostess persona, then leads everyone into the dining room.

Caroline and Bonnie are the only two to remain standing as everyone takes their seat, Caroline then dishing out either spaghetti or chicken alfredo while Bonnie serves up the wine. Conversation is a bit stilted, but the moment Bonnie asks Freya a question about magic it's like the flood gates open. You're surprised Freya gives up more of her story so freely and it's like a weight is lifted off your shoulders when Rebekah cracks a joke about how deranged her family is that has everyone laughing.

The food is devoured between the seven of you and by the end of dinner you've finished two bottles of wine. The third wine bottle follows you all into the lounge where more comfortable armchairs are carried in so everyone has a seat of their own after Freya and Keelin take over the loveseat.

"So," Caroline chirps as soon as she's comfortable, "are there any other Mikaelsons we should be expecting?"

Rebekah grins. "Is this your subtle way in trying to figure out if Nik is coming?"

Bonnie and Elena giggle as Caroline scoffs, but everyone sees right through her. Even Freya and Keelin who have no idea of the history between the two blonde vamps. But suddenly Freya stops giggling and leans forward in her seat, looking quite pensive. "Wait. Are you the Caroline that my brother couldn't help but compare every female to? You're that Caroline?"

"Yes. Yes she is," you say and take another sip of your wine.

"Huh. Now I get it." Freya chuckles. "You're cute and feisty, and can apparently keep up with Klaus. I approve." Keelin can't help but nod along as everyone laughs at Caroline's surprised expression.

The surprised expression quickly morphs into smugness, but then Caroline is quick to shake it off. "We're not here to talk about me. We're all here for Y/N. I was just wondering because you know how Damon and Stefan are with Klaus."

You sigh. "Which is why I've talked to them too," you say. "I know everyone has issues with each other, but it's my goddamn wedding and there will be no death threats or neck snapping or so help me I will stake somebody." Your friends and guests are stunned into silence before Keelin snorts, everyone then giving into their laughter quickly after. You too, eventually, and then you groan as you attempt to hide your face in the palms of your hands. "I just- I don't want any issues. I'm already freaking out as it is."

The laughter fades off, sympathetic expressions taking over, and it's Keelin who then leans forward in her seat, reaching for your hand and gripping it in comfort. "It's going to be fine. You have nothing to worry about. If you love- er, uh what's his name?"

"Landon."

"Landon! Yes, Landon," she chuckles. "If you love Landon, you'll be fine." Your smile falters and you don't have to be an onlooker to know that the light in your eyes dims just a little. Your pretty sure everyone's noticed it if the sudden intake of breath is anything to go by. "You do- you do love him, don't you?"

"Yes!" You blurt a little too fast. Your response is a little cringeworthy and you sigh, retaking your hand and slumping in your seat. "I mean we've been together for three years. I love him. I do, but.."

"But he's not 'lijah."

"Rebekah!" Freya is quick to scold.

"What?" The blonde Original shrugs. "You haven't seen them together. You don't understand."

"I'm not one to ever agree with your sister, but she has a point," Elena says. "Y/N and Elijah-"

"But there is no me and Elijah." The girls fall silent at the tone in your voice. "There never was." You retake your glass of wine, chugging the rest of its contents before setting your glass back down. "Now if you guys will excuse me, I need some air."

No one tries to stop you as you go and you end up on the back patio, hopping up onto the brick railing and then leaning your back against the brick pillar. The cold air outside cools your flushed face and you try not to let your mood tumble down the rabbit hole.

You knew inviting the Mikaelsons was bound to bring up the past, but you didn't think it'd affect you quite like it is now. Elijah was, for obvious reasons, a touchy subject with you and your friends knew not to bring him up. But then Rebekah broke the ice and Elena, of all people, just had to agree with her.

"Here. Put this on." You're surprised to see Freya offering you a jacket, but you take it nonetheless and offer her a small smile in thanks. She grins, placing a smoking bowl down on the railing next to her. "Sage," she explains. "It keeps the vampires from hearing."

"God I love magic."

Freya chuckles and then after a moment passes, she says, "I'm sorry about what my sister said in there. They shouldn't bring any of that up so close to your wedding."

You shrug. "It is what it is. And if I'm being honest, she's not totally wrong."

"No?"

You shake your head. "I almost didn't invite Elijah because I knew my stupid crush on him would resurface, but then I thought I'd look like an asshole if I sent out personal invites to everyone else and he saw he didn't receive one." Freya chuckles quietly and you sigh longingly. "And the closer it comes to my wedding, the more I find myself longing for those talks with your brother rather than what Landon has to offer. I miss our talks about history and just life in general," you say. "And the more I listen to Landon talk about the latest Xbox game or the stupid jokes he's heard from his coworkers, it feels like I die a little more every day on the inside."

Freya frowns a little. "I apologize if I'm overstepping, Y/N, but do you honestly love Landon? If you continue to compare him to my brother, you're just setting yourself and Landon up for heartbreak down the line."

"I know. And I love Landon. I do, but I don't think I'm as in love with him as I once thought."

"Y/N.."

The first tear falls and you huff a laugh as you wipe it away. Quietly, you rhetorically ask, "Why couldn't your brother just love me? It'd have made things so much more easier." You're so caught up in your feelings that you don't see Freya tense or her eyes widen in surprise. "I don't even know what I'm saying," you then mumble. "I'm getting married in two days. Maybe I should just lay off the wine until then."

"Uhh, yeah. Maybe." Freya agrees.

You snap out of your spiral then, eyes widening. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry for laying that on you."

"No. Don't be," she laughs. "You needed to vent and I'm glad it was me, an unbiased ear."

"Really?"

"Really. You're fine," Freya assures you. "Now come on. Let's get you inside before we freeze."

As you hop off the railing, heart aching and mind going a mile a minute, you can only hope that your mind clears in time for you to say I do to Landon. It would really be terrible to enter a marriage while longing for someone else.

The morning of your wedding dawns bright and early, and you immediately know you're in no shape to be getting married. Since Rebekah, Freya, and Keelin have come into Mystic Falls you've put on a brave face for everyone, but now there's no hiding exactly what you're feeling. Because the moment aunt Liz, Caroline, Elena, and Bonnie wake you for your big day with party horns and confetti, you burst into tears.

Immediately the cheerful atmosphere vanishes and the girls are stunned into silence. "I can't do this," you cry. "I can't do this to myself or to Landon. It's not fair to him."

"Oh sweetie." Liz takes a seat next to you on the bed, putting a comforting arm around your shoulders. "What's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"I'm so sorry, aunt Liz, but I can't- I just can't get married today."

Elena shifts uncomfortably next to the bed. "Y/N, if this is about us bringing up Elijah the other night I'm so sorry."

"No. No, you don't have to be sorry." Sniffling, you wipe at your eyes and look at those in the room. "I will admit to being nervous about seeing Elijah again after only talking about him brought back this stupid crush on him, but the more I thought about it," you trail off, shaking your head. "Can I really marry a human?"

Bonnie frowns. "Y/N, you are a human."

"I know that, Bon, but after everything we've been through.. knowing all that I know, can I actually settle down behind a white picket fence and pray every night that Landon doesn't ever find out about the supernatural? Whether you guys want to admit it or not, Liz and I will always be in danger because of our ties to you guys." Seeing their frowns makes your heart break just a little bit more.

"I don't mean to offend you," you say. "I love you guys alot. But I've put Landon in danger for years now and I can't risk it anymore. Because what happens when he asks for kids? I won't bring a family into our already messy lives."

"Y/N," Caroline murmurs. "The wedding is in nine hours. What are we supposed to do?"

"Compel them to forget or to be okay with the wedding being called off. I don't care. Just please do something."

"What are you going to tell Landon?" Bonnie wonders.

"I'm not sure. If I have to, I'll call in a favor from Klaus. He likes me enough to compel the groom away."

"And the caterers?"

The bedroom door suddenly swings open and Rebekah sighs as she leans against the door jamb. "Don't worry. Us Mikaelsons have a bit of money to throw around. All caterers will be told the wedding is off and to not to mention the money they've already been paid, and Landon's family will find that they're not missing a penny from their bank accounts."

It feels like a weight has been lifted off your chest. "Thank you, Bex. Thank you so much."

"Don't even worry about it," she assures you with a smile. Then pushing off the door jamb, she pastes on a smile and claps her hands once. "Okay. All vampires and witches with me. We've got a wedding to cancel."

Caroline and Bonnie are quick to rush out of the room, but Elena lingers by the bed. When you meet her gaze, she says, "If you need some time, my family's lake house is empty. You're more than welcome to take a week or two for yourself there. We'll give you some space."

"Thank you, 'Lena. Some space and time actually sounds pretty good."

"Well then it's settled," Liz says. "You go freshen up in the bathroom and I'll pack you a bag. We'll grab some groceries while everyone cancels your wedding, and then I'll drive you down to the lake house. Does that sound like a good plan?"

You offer her a faint grin. "Yeah. It does."

The moment Elena leaves the room, it seems like everything is in a fast forward motion. Liz ushers you to the bathroom where you have a good cry in the shower and then as you're getting dressed you have numerous text messages from your friends coming in to tell you how all the compulsion is going. Damon even offers to compel Landon for you, admitting that he never quite liked the human blood bag and he was glad you had come to your senses before you took the guy's last name. That had earned your first chuckle of the morning and even Liz chuckled when you had read her Damon's text.

Liz helps you put the groceries away at the lake house and then makes you promise to call her should you need anything, no matter the time. And only after you've agreed does she finally leave you all alone.

You send off one last text to your group of friends that your phone is going to be off for the time being and then promptly fall asleep in the master bedroom.

When you wake up again, it's only a little past one in the afternoon and you decide to make yourself something to eat. You eat and then settle on the couch for a little tv, only to end up outside on the dock and staring out into the water.

The time your wedding was to take place comes and goes, and you can't help but turn your phone on to see if you have any notifications. The only messages you have are from Caroline who assures you that everything's been taken care of and that she thinks you made the right decision. Hearing confirmation from your cousin eases some of your worries and you don't feel as bad about what you did.

By the time night falls, you're snuggled up on the couch and watching the best horror has to offer in order to keep your mind off any romance for the time being. You're in the middle of watching The Conjuring when there's a knock on the front door, startling a yelp out of you. Cursing your overbearing friends and their need to make sure you're really okay, you pause the movie and get up to see who it is.

Only when you open the front door you're more than a little stunned to find Elijah standing there by the top of the porch steps as he turns to face you. There's a moment where you both drink each other in and then your eyes narrow into a glare whereas Elijah's lips stretch into a smile as he steps closer to you.

"Elijah."

"Hello, Y/N."

The butterflies take flight and your heart beats double. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?"

He huffs a quiet laugh. "Someone near and dear to me had to make possibly one of the most difficult decisions in their life this morning. Did you really think I wouldn't come to check up on you?"

You do your best not to swoon, smiling softly at him as you shake your head in amusement and open the door wider as an invite. "You're lucky you've already been invited in otherwise we'd be stuck out on the porch. Come on. Let's go take a seat."

Elijah follows you into the living room after shutting the door behind him and you turn off the movie so you can place all your focus on him. There's a fire going in the fireplace, but you still turn on a few lamps so you can see him properly. And when you turn back around it's to see that Elijah already made himself comfortable smack dab in the middle of the couch.

Grinning, you drop in the spot next to him with one leg curled beneath you and the other hanging off the front of the couch so your foot is planted on the floor. "Hi," you muse.

"Is it too soon to ask you what happened?"

Straight to the point as usual, his question makes you faintly cringe. But before he can take the question back, you decide to tell him. "I'm too involved with the supernatural world, Elijah. What kind of person would I be if I had dragged Landon into the mess that is our lives? He deserves to have a normal and happy life."

"And what about you? Don't you deserve to be normal and happy?"

As he speaks, you notice how his gaze drops to your mouth before quickly darting up and looking elsewhere. You try to play it off but you know your damn heart gives you away immediately when he fights off a smile. "Normal and happy is so overrated," you then manage to say. "After all that I've seen and been through, a normal life would be boring."

Elijah finally allows himself to smile. "Is that the only reason why you wouldn't marry him?"

You tense at his knowing gaze, heart beat tripling as it's your turn to avert your gaze. You'd never been good at confronting your feelings head on, especially with the person said feelings are for. So as the seconds tick on by, you can feel your face flushing. You quietly groan. "Do I really have to say it out loud? It's embarrassing."

"Y/N."

"Elijah," you retort. You manage to hold his gaze for three seconds before you break eye contact and sigh. "It was obvious I had a crush on you back when I was seventeen and apparently it's still obvious now."

"I think it's adorable."

"Of course you do." Against your better judgement you reach out to swat at his arm and your breath hitches as he catches your hand and then maneuvers it so he can press a kiss to the back of your hand. You smile sadly. "It's been you since I was seventeen and I don't think anyone can ever compare to the Elijah Mi-mmph."

Elijah stuns you by pulling you into his lap and quickly maneuvering you so your knees are on either side of his lap, his mouth slotting against yours with such ease. There's a moment where you don't know what exactly to do with your hands, but the second his hands tug on the hem of your shirt, your hands find purchase on his shoulders before sliding up the side of his neck.

It's you who breaks the kiss for some much needed air, but you don't go far because Elijah keeps you close. His hand cups the side of your jaw, but his thumb runs gently under your bottom lip. You nip at his thumb, he grins, and then you groan when your predicament finally settles in. Elijah chuckles as you drop your head to his shoulder, your hands clutching at his sides under his suit jacket.

"What are we even doing?"

"I believe you're finally going after what you truly wanted."

"And you? What about you?" You ask, shifting nervously in his lap as you sit back.

"I am making my move," he says as he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, "before someone else comes in to ask for your hand in marriage." You roll your eyes and he chuckles softly. "Since I made you admit something earlier, I will admit that I too have compared everyone to you. My family knew I held you above all else and they were quick to rub it in my face that you were to wed this evening. And earlier when I got Rebekah's call, I knew this was our chance."

"You're a big 'ol softy, Elijah Mikaelson."

"Only when it comes to you, Y/N Y/L/N."

You can't help but smile at his words, leaning in for a quick kiss. But it's not so quick as Elijah pulls you back in, peppering a few kisses across your mouth and cheeks. You giggle, but then that giggle turns into a groan. "The girls are going to be unbearable."

"Niklaus too, but I'm willing to put up with it as long as I have you by my side." You make a noise and facial expression as if you have to think about it, and Elijah gently squeezes your waist in retaliation which makes your jerk in his hold. "If you're that worried about their reactions, we can go away for a bit until everyone has had enough time to get used to our new situation."

You huff a laugh, but upon seeing Elijah's expression your amusement fades away. "You're serious."

"I am. New Orleans is a bit crowded at the moment and if I remember correctly you've always wanted to see Ireland. So what do you say to a spontaneous vacation with me?"

You blink owlishly at Elijah before your lips stretch into a smile. "Yes!" Your excitement makes him chuckle, but then you're quick to to come down. "My friends won't go for it. They'll continuously ask if I know what I'm doing and want daily updates and everything."

"They won't. And if they do, they'll have Sheriff Forbes to answer to." Your brow furrows in confusion and Elijah smirks. "How do you think I found you all the way out here? I stopped by the Forbes residence and Elizabeth was kind enough to point me in the right direction. It seems we already have one person in our corner."

"Jesus Christ," you huff. "Are we really doing this?"

"Only if you're sure you want to."

You take a moment to think things through, but before that moment can stretch on too long, you say, "Yeah. Let's do this. When do we leave?"

"Whenever you want," he tells you.

"As much as I wanna leave right now, I kind of just want to take you up to bed and get reacquainted with you."

Elijah slowly smiles. "I quite like the way you think, Miss Y/L/N."

"Then what are you waiting for, old man? Take me to bed already."

SIX MONTHS LATER

Freya and Keelin have just gotten home, a stack of mail on the hall table catching Freya's attention. Her siblings are out as usual, wrecking havoc no doubt, so on her way to the kitchen she grabs up the stack to sort through it.

As Keelin goes about grabbing the wine from the fridge and two glasses, Freya starts to filter out the trash from the stack of mail. Only halfway through the stack, one particular envelope catches her eye.

Freya starts to smile. "It seems like Elijah finally broke his silence."

"Oohh," Keelin coos. "What does he have to say? How is Y/N doing? Because last I heard not even the girls in Mystic Falls know."

Freya opens up the envelope, pulling out a picture and a letter. She smiles brightly upon seeing her brother and Y/N smiling under the Northern Lights- which is utterly adorable, in her opinion- and then goes on to read the letter to herself. Her smile slowly falters as her eyes widen in surprise. "No. They didn't," she breathes in awe. She quickly scans the picture again, her eyes lighting up as she laughs joyously. "They did!"

Keelin startles. "What? What did they do?"

Freya drops the letter and quickly flips around the picture for her wife to see. "They got married!"

"WHAT!?" Keelin practically shouts. "Let me see," she says as she hurries around the kitchen island.

Freya openly laughs now. "They got married under the Northern Lights last month. They'll finally be coming home in a couple of weeks."

Keelin grabs the photo so she can study it itself, her smile blossoming. "Oh my god. They really did get married."

"In the letter, Elijah said only Caroline and her mother know. They're going to come here first so they can figure out living arrangements and then they'll go see everyone else."

"Rebekah is going to be so pissed," Keelin muses.

"I can see it now, she's going to force a small ceremony on them when they're settled in."

"As long as I get to see Elijah smile in person as he is in his wedding photo, I'm all for it. Jesus looks at how adorable they look together."

"I know," Freya says. "I don't think my brother could have found anyone better for himself. We had only met Y/N and I immediately knew they'd be perfect for each other."

"Right?" Keelin then huffs. She looks at the picture one last time before setting the picture down. "We need to blow that up and hang it on the wall. Getting married under the Northern Lights was such a neat idea."

"Mhm. So much better than that Christmas themed wedding she originally had planned."

Keelin chuckles. "I thought I was the only one who thought the Christmas theme was tacky."

"Oh no. Rebekah secretly hated it too, but she didn't want to upset Y/N. She will, however, be upset she missed the Northern Lights wedding."

"I mean I'm pretty bummed, but I'm also excited for them to get home so we can pick their brains and get to the bottom of whatever the hell they were thinking. I'm super stoked for them, but I also want to know who proposed to who and everything!"

"Same here." Freya turns towards her wife, wrapping her arms around her waist while Keelin settles her arms around Freya's neck. "But until then we got family to inform of the couple's new status. Not it!"

"Not i- dammit!" Keelin pouts, she now having to be the one to inform Klaus and Rebekah. "I hate it when you do that."

Freya laughs. "Better luck next time. Now let's go. I can't wait to see their reactions."

[wesimpforxiao]

Say My Name and I’ll Be There: 8.3; Lantern Rite Part 2

Author’s Note:  Happy Valentine’s Day ;)

........

--Can feel your emotions...emotions cannot be permanently ignored...fall on deaf ears...early grave... Xiao scoffed and downed the rest of his tea before forcefully setting the cup back down onto the table. "You think admitting my alleged feelings for a mortal human would solve the problem?"

"She's done her part, now it is your turn," Zhongli straightened. "If you fail to do so, I fear she will perish from your karmic debt in no time at all. If what you say is true, it's a miracle she's still alive. Your admittance would seal the bond, as it would eliminate the side effects altogether."

Xiao's head whipped in the direction of the playing of an instrument note, but was only greeted with the joyful screams of children running around nearby. "Tch. How annoying," he played his mishearing off and returned to his normal sitting position.  A few beats of silence passed before he spoke again.  "I would only be prolonging her untimely demise.  If we stay together, if she stays by my side, my sins will affect her with or without the bond."

"That is correct."

The archon was never one to sugarcoat things.  "It would be selfish of me to admit to those emotions, selfish to indulge in them--she would die at my hand."

"Yes."

"Then why should I seal the bond, if us getting closer seals her fate?"  The yaksha's voice nearly cracked, but he hid it well with his piercing gaze as he questioned his master.  "Why?"

"How long do you plan on protecting Liyue?"

The random question made the yaksha falter.  "For as long as our contract endures."  What a silly question--it wasn't even for debate.  It was his duty to protect Liyue, to absolve his sins and pay thanks to the archon that redeemed him.  Why would Zhongli bring it up now?

"How much longer can you protect those who reside in Liyue?  How long until the cracks begin to form within you, too?"

'Just as my fallen friends...' Xiao searched his master's eyes for a moment before parting his lips.  "I--"

"I do not know the end of your story, Xiao, but I brought your unruly fate upon you.  When the time comes for you to face the same darkness that's consumed you, you cannot face it alone."

.........................

Zhongli watched the three of you push your way through the crowd to greet him, his eyes narrowing at you in particular.  "I see you have found your other teammates," he nodded approvingly.

"Yeah."  You hadn't stopped scanning the crowd, and didn't so much as look his way despite being prodded by Aether.

"Something's wrong with her," the boy warned Zhongli.  "She's not--"

"Do not concern yourself, traveler.  She will be just fine."

"Huh?"  Paimon grumbled.  "What do you mean by that?  Have you no concern for her?"

"We've convened earlier today.  I will inform you, but first..." His eyes slid back to you, and he raised his voice to catch your attention.  "You wish to see him?"

"Hm?  U-um, yes..."  His piercing gaze saw right through you, and it was an uncomfortable feeling.  "What?"

"I'd advise you to leave the harbor," he nodded to the mountainside that was on the other side of the city gates.  You nodded a quick thanks before running away at full speed.

I'm here, Xiao.  But the yaksha didn't need to hear your impolite prayers to know that you were, when he could hear the distinct conversations of the people you ran past even though he was literal miles away from the harbor.

..............

You felt him before you saw him.  Sitting on the rocky hill that overlooked the guarded entrance of Liyue Harbor, you peered over your shoulder to find the one person you had longed to see all day.  The yaksha stopped in his tracks when you met his eyes.  

"What...are you doing here?"  It was like he was uncertain if he was hallucinating, eyes narrowing cynically as you stood to greet him.  It was clear that he was weary from his day-long battle, but any pure exhaustion was hidden behind his tough façade.  

"Childe brought me back for the Lantern Rite," you caught him snarling when you said the harbinger's name.  "I--"

Your vision was suddenly obscured by his face once he appeared before you at the speed of light.  His hand gingerly traced your cheek, a rare gentleness, a fondness seeping through his cynical eyes.  You hadn't realized how much you had been craving his touch;  your hand kept him from removing his from your cheek.  How long had it been?  Two weeks? It had to have been three by now, but it felt like an eternity from how much you had to deal with Childe or watch people die.

Real, Xiao's lips twitched into an unnoticeable smile, but the light in his eyes was bright as day.  The two of you stood with foreheads pressed together for who knows how long until the yaksha was the one to pull away and regain his neutral composure.  His eyes floated to that of the dark ocean before landing on the small lantern that sat next to your viewing rock.

"They'll be releasing them soon," you say, noticing his gaze.  "I meant to make two, but it turns out its REALLY hard to make them..."

"Mm."  He acknowledged you before sitting on the left side of the rock, silently prompting you to join him.

You did.  "H-hey, is that blood?"  You finally noticed the smear on his right cheek, worry entering your voice.  "Are you okay? Here, let me see--"

"It's not mine."  Xiao leaned away from your hand and wiped the smudge away himself.

Back to pushing me away, you faltered back, wavering eyes refocusing their attention on the black horizon to distract yourself from the hurt that panged in your chest.  You sat on your hands as if to close yourself off from him--to restrain yourself from invading his personal space.

I did it again.  Xiao inwardly cursed himself out for causing the sad look in your eyes.  It's not like he meant to.  He's too used to shutting people out for their safety; he's too accustomed to being alone.  Xiao watched you out of the corner of his eye before finally gathering the courage to speak.  She needs to know.

"I need you to understand," he started, sending you a brief glance before facing the ocean again.  "Yakshas accumulate karma from the eons of slaughter we're tasked with.  It eats away at our souls, corrupts us, or drives us mad.  We become the monsters we're meant to destroy.  Outsiders, companions, anyone who gets too close, will share and suffer that karma.  It is why I order you and Aether to leave, and it is why I keep everyone at a distance."

You watched him continue to carefully sort his thoughts out.  He's never talked so much without your prompting.  

"None of us have had, nor will have, a happy ending.  This is our fate.  And it will be your fate too, if you continue to stay at my side.  The karma I've accumulated will only grow in future years, and you won't be a stranger to it."

Your shoulders dropped.  Is he...Is he going to leave me completely? Is he going to push me away for good?

Xiao heard your worries, and he briefly met your eyes again.  "Could you still love a yaksha, while knowing this information?  While knowing your fate will be sealed, and you won't find peace?"

"Of course."

"This isn't a light decision," Xiao admonished and rotated his body slightly to face you.  "You cannot--"  Do humans not understand danger?

"Xiao."  The determination in your eyes made his next words stick to his throat.  "I've already thought about it long and hard.  I've seen your past.  I've felt some of your pain.  Even if this bond thing doesn't 'seal'--whatever that means--even if I am stuck with hearing those awful voices for the rest of my life, I will never be able to stop my feelings for you.  Even if you don't return my feelings.  I've come to accept all of it."

Could Xiao bring himself to admit his feelings if there was a high chance that fate would set its cruel sights on you?  You could say all this now, but you've only felt the karma for a month.  What happens in a year from now? A decade? A century?  Your life wouldn't be as short as a humans because of his blood...Could he find it in him to confess if you were driven mad and he, ridden with guilt from causing your downfall?  Sealing the bond wouldn't guarantee that the voices would leave you, and it definitely wouldn't make you immune to his karma.  Xiao had thought he had decided on confessing, but now that he saw that raw, naïve determination in your gaze, maybe it was better that he kept it to himself for your safety--

"Do you trust me, Xiao?"  His attention snapped back to you.  "You felt my love for you in Zapolyarny Palace, didn't you?  If you did, then you know my feelings are genuine..."

That's right...your feelings were so warm back then, and the way you had hugged him close...He felt his own version when he had heard your moonsong.  'How long can you continue protecting Liyue? When the time comes for you to face the same darkness that's consumed you, you cannot face it alone.  Zhongli was righ--Archons, forget it.  You had never lied to him, and he doubted you'd ever plan on doing so in the future.  You were still just as stubborn as all those years ago on your deathbed of bloody soil; that aspect of you never changed.  And if you were this stubborn, it wouldn't make sense for him to label your decision as a half-hearted, half-thought out answer.

Xiao examined you carefully for a silent minute, not quite listening to the words that flew out of your mouth.  He didn't know how much longer he could stand tall against the swarms of darkness that swirled in his heart; he liked to think he could do so for another millennia, but that could change with one wrong move, one wrong thought, or one misplacement in willpower.  But maybe as Zhongli said, he could find a new purpose, a new ray of light that could help him continue his duty if the day for evil to overwhelm him ever comes.

The yaksha couldn't quite find a place in the mortal realm, but he was curious on how it worked, how the humans were, what kind of customs they created.  His karma made it impossible to quell that curiosity, and equally as dangerous for mortals.  But he met you, that four year old girl that didn't do anything but provoke his curiosity and longing for kinship further.  And then he really got to know you, all those months ago--what made you tick much like the other humans, the way you smiled, how you had the same sense of humor as him, the aggressive and the kind sides of your personality that clashed together to form this perfect, messy example of how humans worked.

Maybe he found out where to start when it came to you mortals, and that starting line was with you.  You shone at the end of the tunnel, a beacon for safety and dare he call a symbol of peace that he could come home to.  Xiao's eyes never left you as you continued to ramble on.

"--Then, I suppose, I could love you."  The yaksha muttered the words like they tasted sour, but his eyes were soft when they landed on you.

"I--You--Huh?"  You had thought he was trying to pull away from you for good, but this? He was confessing?  Your oblivious mind wouldn't have guessed this would happen...So this is what Zhongli was inferring earlier!

"What?"  Xiao narrowed his eyes and looked away as if he were embarrassed.  "It's not that significant," he pouted.  "Humans are flustered too easily by the smallest matters."  Despite his crimson cheeks and beet-red ears, he found it difficult to fight back a smile when he saw the ridiculous look on your face.

"You..."  Faint lights shone down on your little moment, and you glanced up to find that the lanterns were being released.  "Wow, look!"  You rose to your feet and stared at the distant lanterns before remembering that you had one of your own.  Your gaze dropped to it, and an idea struck you.  "Xiao...would you like to do this one together?"  You picked it up and lit it with the match you had in your pocket.

"I still don't understand why humans discard their trash into the ocean," he muttered before standing as well.  He watched the small flame burn brighter as it sat in your hands.  "What's the point?"

"The lanterns represent our wishes and thanks to the adepti," you explained and gestured for him to take hold of the other side of the lantern.  He reluctantly did so, but curiosity overcame him and he patiently listened to you with a slight childlike wonder in his eyes.  "As for why we chose lanterns, I think it's just because they're pretty."

"Hmph."

"Do you have any wishes for the archons?  We're supposed to write them on the lantern," you pulled a small pen out from your back pocket and uncapped it, offering the other end to him.

"Adepti don't go by your mortal ideals," he scoffed.  

His clear distaste for your question drew a laugh from your lips.  "I figured there was no harm in asking again! Okay.  Even if you don't have a wish, let's release it, yeah? One, two, three..."  The two of you gently pushed the lantern into the air, where it slowly made its journey to join the rest of its companions that now floated all around you.  

"You didn't write your wish," he commented, his brows furrowing in confusion.  How dare you ask him to write a wish, yet you did no such thing.  The hypocrisy of humans!

"Why would I need to if it already came true?"  You gave him a smirk before facing the sky.  "They're so pretty," you marveled, nearly making yourself dizzy from staring straight up.  "Don't you think so?"

"Mm."  He agreed, but he was only looking at you.  It took you a few minutes before you could gather the courage to return his gaze, feeling his stare while you watched the lanterns sparkle like the stars.  Well, it was also when your neck got tired.

You returned your eyes to the yaksha only to find him staring hard at you with an unreadable expression.  "W-what?"

"You're serious about me, even if it ends up killing you?"  He still couldn't understand why...Wouldn't self-preservation be what everyone chooses when put in a perilous situation?  Is this human stupidity, or is there some type of logic behind your trust that he failed to grasp?

You blinked, facing him fully.  "One hundred percent."  I don't need to think twice about my answer, but he's still concerned about me?  "Xiao, do you trust me?"

He didn't answer and instead approached you after a few beats of silence until you almost breathed the same air.  He was visibly struggling with something, but as for what, you had no idea.  He allowed himself to slide a hand through your hair and play with the strands before it settled against the nape of your neck.  He pulled you closer until his lips grazed across your eyelids.  He ignored the shocked gasp that left your parted lips and let his brush across your other eyelid before they settled against the spot between your brows.

He then pulled away, his head resting against your forehead, and for a second you wondered if any of that was real until you managed to snap out of your daze.  "D-did you just...?  Xiao...?"