#i genuinely have a problem idk if it's the confirmed autism or my adhd suspicions coming back to bite me
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flipflopping between 'this bio exam will go ok since i did zero studying for the first one and still passed' and 'i'm going to fail abysmally i need to give up on sleep, cancel my travel plans, and lock in until i know whole textbooks off by heart' so i'm stuck here with paralysing guilt and fear obviously
#the zero studying for the first exam was quite a time#the start of the downwards spiral that i'm still in tbh#and technically i've passed the whole module so ?? no need to even do this exam#it could go terribly and i'll be fine#but at the same time i know i could do better and i'm just. not doing it.#i genuinely have a problem idk if it's the confirmed autism or my adhd suspicions coming back to bite me#but i CANNOT focus#and it's kind of terrifying how little control i have over where my mind goes#i can't do anything to stop it drifting away from what i'm supposed to be taking in and idk why#is that adhd fr. or am i just stressed#it's 7pm and i've gone over one topic#not good enough . pathetic. failure material#idk how to fix it !!!!#<- medication.#most likely#but it's not like i can just try that out
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