#i genuinely don't give a fuck if i seem harsh to these people anymore. they hoard resources millions are in dire need of

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

hey full offense but. influencers and celebrities do have to speak up and use their reach and resources to help Palestine actually. they fucking do. not in the way you have to do something out of legal obligation like taxes or jury duty where you literally CAN'T not do it. not in the way of being forced to do so under duress like hand over your wallet at gunpoint or get in someone's car. but in the way you have to help someone if they begin choking and you are the only one around who can perform the Heimlich maneuver. the way you have to help a lost kid in the store who comes up to you asking to help you find their mom. the way you have to get help if you find someone badly hurt on the road even if it inconveniences your trip or makes you late to your destination. they don't have to because of legal obligation or duress. they have to because it is a basic fucking necessity if you want to consider yourself a decent person with some semblance of morals. that's how they have to help. they have to. stop defending their silence as a personal choice. they. fucking. have to.

[zaebeecee]

Hi Zae! Okay, so like ... I'm only saying this because it's been on my mind for a while ... And I just saw something, and it just hit me, and I'm on anon because like, I just have something to confess and it has something to do with Hazbin Hotel's voice cast and it's kinda harsh and I don't want people to think I'm mean, but like ... okay. So? That whole like sketch about "How Allosexuals treat Alastor" and your post about "Allosexuals breaking in and knocking over the plants? I can't stop thinking about it because I've felt like this is *EXACTLY* how Alastor's own (Allosexual) voice actors tend to treat him and talk about him though? And like, they maybe even set a precedent for this behavior? And it's annoying? Like, I love Amir but one thing I will say in Bosco's favor is that Bosco seemed to lean into to the "fan service" aspect a bit more than Amir does and I even noticed that like, um okay so like, in the little clip that goes around of Blake discovering RadioDust for the first time, Amir just kinda gives off this little "disappointed parent oh no no face"? Like he doesn't even wanna entertain the thought? But then he kind of gives in and is like "okay, I guess...:" when other cast members started talking positively about it, but he originally looked for a split second like he was about to scold someone or give a little lecture or something and to me that was just like: "My guy, I love you but at least Half of this fandom was built on RadioDust fanservice for the past five years, know your history! What are you doing???" Anyway, what I'm getting at is that sometimes, when I see the "allosexual breaking into your house and knocking over plants post, I want to reblog it and just be like "This is Amir Talai, though." And then I feel sort of bad. Should I feel bad? I don't think I can watch any Hazbin Hotel Cast clips on youtube without being lowkey annoyed anymore. Like, of course I still love them but I don't know...

Oof. Yeah, my friend, I totally get where you’re coming from. And this is just my personal opinion/reflection on the topic, but I feel like this is a case (with Amir personally) of having absolutely zero fandom experience of any kind before taking on the role that he did, as well as what happens when an allo who knows nothing about being ace tries to stay true to an ace character.

tl;dr because I kind of tend to ramble: I really think all we can do is speculate, since we don’t actually know Amir; but also, I don’t think you should feel bad about having a negative reaction to an allosexual speaking over ace people about an ace character, even if he is the voice actor and seems to be a decent person.

First off: no. I don’t think you should feel bad about looking at that and going “Amir Talai though”. It’s the energy he’s putting off, and it’s not your fault that it’s his actions that are pulling that response out of you.

I think Amir has, ultimately, good intentions when it comes to portraying Alastor as accurately as possible. But judging by his past tweeting and the (admittedly hilarious) list of things he’s had to Google since becoming Alastor’s voice, it’s very clear that he does NOT understand what fandom is all about. And he does seem to genuinely be trying! The Zoom call with Blake is particularly telling for all of them, because Amir was very “oh fuck” and Blake was very “OMG DID YOU KNOW THIS WAS AN OPTION??? :D” when, like you said, RadioDust kept the HH fandom alive for four years. Clearly, none of them actually dove into the fandom prior to the project, and I’m hoping that further exposure to the fans might help. As long as they’re not the same as the “we’re going to bully Joel Perez because we hate Valentino” people.

(Also, on Amir’s reaction there, I have no idea if it was “but Alastor is asexual and shipping him is BAD” or if it was “Blake what are you doing bringing this up now people are gonna get mad”, which… with certain people, particularly that very mean vocal minority in the HuskerDust community, is a valid concern. But he and Blake seem extremely close, so I’m not sure Blake would have put him on the spot publicly if he knew Amir would have a genuine negative reaction. But idk, this is all speculation on people I’ve only seen in panels and stuff like that.)

With Amir being allo… I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, because he has publicly apologized for misrepresenting Alastor’s ace spectrum in the past which does suggest that he’s listening to people, but it’s really on him to actually talk to asexual people so he has examples of real experience to draw from. So many people think that asexual automatically means sex repulsed and aromantic automatically means romance repulsed, and because of that, I can understand why Amir came into this with those assumptions. But since he IS so dedicated to the fans and he genuinely loves playing Alastor and wants to be as true as possible to him, he needs to stop looking at asexuality from an allosexual perspective. I haven’t seen anything at all recent from him on the subject, so his perspective could have changed?

But I don’t think you should feel bad about having a negative reaction to the way he’s choosing to react to ships. He is speaking over ace people, whether he realizes that he’s doing that or not, and that isn’t okay. And honestly, having that negative reaction is a good way to call attention to the problem, because if he knows the ace umbrella community has a problem with his black and white perspective on this, I think he’s more likely to listen to us. If part of your hesitation is that you like Amir (which, admittedly, is part of mine), it’s genuinely okay to like a voice actor in general and still be mad at them/criticize them for an aspect of their character interpretation, because ultimately Alastor is our representation, not his. And it matters more if a demisexual/grayaro wants to depict Alastor as their type of aspec than how an allosexual thinks asexuality should be.

On a related note, my husband and I are taking a RadioDust cosplay to a convention later this year, and both Amir and Blake are going to be there, so we’re hopeful we can tell both of them that we’re both aroace spectrum, married, and huge devotees of the ship (both because we’d like to help reinforce the fact that Blake himself is on board the ship and because Amir desperately needs help). idk if it’ll do anything but maybe it’ll at least get him thinking more critically about it.

[strawberrycamel]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

The rules are: Answer the 15 questions and tag 15 of your mutuals.

Thanks @kinglazrus for the tag :D

1. Are you named after anyone? Technically yeah

2. When was the last time you cried? about a month ago i think; i was sitting in a pretty empty Tim Horton's and teared up about something or other that i've since forgotten about

3. Do you have kids? nope!

4. What sports do you play/have played? Track and Field, Softball, and Basketball briefly.

5. Do you use sarcasm? Me? Sarcasm? Never. ( :3 )

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? oh god dude i dont know, probably whatever's the most colourful thing on them

7. What's your eye color? Brown

8. Scary movies or Happy endings Happy endings pls. I can't handle scary movies at all.

9. Any talents? uhhhhhhhhhhh i dont think so

10. Where were you born? Canada

11. What are your hobbies? Writing, doodling, reading fic & fiction books, watching anime. Also playing a handful of very specific games.

12. Do you have any pets? no, BUT my cousin has a dog and he is a very sweet boy and i love him with all my heart

13. How tall are you? 5'7 and a half. or smth like that

14. Favourite subject in school Writer's Craft and. Accounting. [HEAR ME OUT, high school accounting classes were hella easy so i NEVER had homework to take home because i always got it done in class and then it was just. idk. weak sauce so most of the time i was goofing off.]

Runner ups are Marketing and International Business because I had the same teacher for that class and he didn't give a shit if you were late or absent or w/e, but if you were going out for food or something, he'd give you some cash and ask you to bring him some coffee and we were all chill. He let me use his empty classroom to eat lunch in too aaa. Mr. M you were quite literally the best. [Also, one time, despite being the Good Student and also taking the bus to school, the student council president was like "hey you wanna go to Tim's" and I was like "yeah sure" because I was playing it cool but genuinely. Ditching school to go to Tim's during school time as a high schooler was such a magical experience. okay im done now]

Favourite university class was Participatory Media and Communication hands fucking down, very specifically the assignments were always amazing and mostly carte blanche and the topics did not shy away from the harsh stuff and encouraged lots of discussion and analysis on the people and groups we were reading about. like, learning about the origins of BLM Canada, analyzing parts of The Finkelstein 5 by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah and Boys Go To Jupiter by Danielle Evans, the AIDS crisis in Canada, or how black queer people faired during the 80s. There was other stuff, but uh, *cough* those four bits really stuck with me for totally no reason whatsoever <- black queer person who likes learning about and discussing black, queer, and black queer history

15. Dream Job? shit man idk. whatever pays the bills and i don't hate completely. i dont really like the thing i majored in anymore, but woodworking/carpentry seems cool

Tags! @kawaiijohn @echoghost1 @sheepheadfred @goliath-de-senfina-sango @princessfanonanona @redead-red @ectoplasmicsoda @ln-ofx @grub-xd @ghost-pasta @themockingcrows @bubblegumbeech @redajcted @glorious-typo @basedstoutland

(feel free to join in or ignore)

[v3nusxsky]

Hey so i’m honestly loving all your platonic student reader w lesso fics so i’d like to request one. Maybe where reader is a trouble maker or just believes there not very liked by lesso till one day they have a mental breakdown or smt, you can choose and then just lesso comforting them. You can add if you want or whatever x

Breaking is okay

*Authors note~ platonic lesso will always hold my heart just as much as our dominant queen lesso does*

Trigger warnings~ ADHD reader frustration?

Prompt~see ask^^^^^

Concentrating on classes was always something you struggled with. It was hard to focus your mind when it constantly felt overwhelming and overcrowded. Your mind often taking you away into your own secret space, where everything just made sense. No judgment and no fear. Unfortunately, no one else understood that you truly couldn't focus, it wasn't laziness or disrespect, you genuinely had an issue.

Due to the fact you were so misunderstood, you often became easily frustrated with people. After all why were they blaming you for something you had absolutely no control over? Don't they think you want to focus? Clearly not. Your frustration often mounted into unexplainable rage, causing you to act out in your classes and receive the reputation of the "bad student", being given the name made you feel as though you should live up to it. If they had given up on you already then why bother trying anymore?

You'd had many frequent visits to the Dean of Evil and even the Dean of Good sat in on a few hoping to breakthrough this bad behaviour routine. Clarissa gave up quickly, writing you off completely as a lost cause, while Leonora continued to try and puzzle all this behaviour together. You were bright, she knew that, you had friends so that wasn't the cause. Your attitude and body language all perfectly tweaked to give off the vibe of nonchalance. Yet Leonora knew it was all an act, something was bothering you and she wasn't going to rest till she figured it out.

You'd skipped your curses and death traps class which raised an alarm bell for the Dean. After all you never missed a chance to get under her skin, that's what made you all the more of an interesting case. You didn't fear her or any punishment she may give. That's why she decided to check on you after the lesson finished. Locating the dorm you resides in was not difficult, she'd had to escort you back here many a time. Yet what was most unusual was the sounds of things breaking and harsh sobs. It wasn't like you to show this type of emotion, so what on earth had caused it?

She was concerned to say the least and that's why she snuck in, you had fully destroyed your dorm. Glass smashed, photo frames ruined and sheets of paper strewn everywhere. With a quick glance she quickly located your small form curled up into a ball. You were truly a mess. Your hands tugged at your hair as you cried all your frustrations out. You just wanted to be normal, like everyone else, yet you clearly weren't capable of that if this breakdown was anything to go on. You were so het up that you didn't even notice the Dean in your dorm, watching every slight movement wondering what to do with you.

"Love?" She murmured gently watching as you poorly attempted to pull yourself together and adopt that "I don't give a fuck stance." She sighed seeing you struggle internally, on one hand you seemed exhausted and struggling on the other you seemed frustrated at her presence. "What happened in here little one?"she whispered coming closer to you, noticing the notes for her class surrounding you, "were you studying dove?" To which you nodded feeling more tears streaming down your rosy cheeks. "Nothing fucking goes in! It's frustrating you all think I'm just bad, a lost cause, that I don't try. But I try so fucking hard to learn, to make you all like me but you've given up on me like I've given up on myself" you trailed of dejectedly, it felt freeing to finally tell someone. You weren't quite sure why it was her but when she scooped you up into her arms you were glad it was.

"I haven't given up on you love, I just want to understand. Your bright I know you are so it was confusing to see such behaviours from you. I want to help you and now I have more of an idea how to." She stated slightly rocking you in her hold as you sobbed into her neck. Her hand rubbing slow circles on your back in a soothing manner. "Now how about we tidy all this up and then we can sit down and try to work this out okay?" She hummed as you nodded in agreement.

She helped you tidy watching as you became distracted by random objects or noises that would take your focus away. She gently reminded you of your tasks and broke it down into small manageable chunks. She noticed you were more productive with simple clear instructions and a lot of praising. You seemed to enjoy the one on one interaction and she started to notice the same humour you'd started at the school with returning.

Once the dorm had been tidied you sat on your bed with her and mumbled thanks, embarrassed by your breakdown. She hushed you and decided on a plan of action. Every day after classes you'd attend her office and she'd help you study whatever you were struggling with on a one to one basis. Finally you felt herd, seen and cared for. It was the first time in a long time you'd felt so content.

Your breakdown had depleted your energy levels drastically and you could feel yourself starting to nodd off. Lesso also spotted this and encouraged you to lay down with one final reminder, "it's okay to break, as long as you get back up dove, your wings aren't broken forever and I'll help every step of the way"

Word count~1033

[opal-kitty333]

I'm going to try to avoid trauma dumping too hard here but I want to take the chance to talk about my experience with Christmas and how it's effected me with the Christmas season growing more each year. It's a big thing for me, and i know plenty of people who don't like christmas for similar reasons. My mom had a rough childhood, and lost her mom around the holiday season when I was four. This also meant she lost her first daughter and had to fight for custody back because my grandma had adopted her under the table and wrote in her will to be taken care of by genuinely abusive people.

When my mom finally got my sister back and we moved to (what she viewed as) a safe and stable situation she was very focused on giving us the childhood she never had (safe, stable, happy, and loved), and apart of that was having a nice holiday season.

She was always stressed out to hell and back, trying to get the best presents and having good dinners, spending time with extended family. But she was so stressed out it that she was also quick to explode over minor things, causing constant fights and dolling out harsh punishments and just generally being a nightmare to be around.

Add in unfortunate timing of things like people passing away or having medical emergencies on Christmas Eve (because everything that can go wrong will around the holidays it seems) and I just can't stomach Christmas anymore.

I've tried to reclaim it. I've tried to have special holiday stuff for me and me alone, but no amount of finally making a tree how you want fixes the fact that the want and joy of it was killed years ago. No amount of trying to 'get into Christmas spirit' fixes the fact the because I work retail and have to constantly listen to Christmas music I am therefore constantly reminded of horrid times and that alone will worsen my mental health to the point of break down at least once during the season. I don't want to rip the happy times from people but it also sucks that if we aren't excited for Christmas or vocally talk about how we don't like the season we're a Grinch that needs just needs to figure out how to do Christmas Right like I'm in some fucking hallmark movie.

I sat down to enjoy the thanksgiving parade last year and they turned it into a Christmas/Thanksgiving parade. Something I was excited for because it wasn't a thing I had ever seen or done with new people in my life was actively ruined because the Christmas season is being stretched out further and further every year.

It sucks and I feel like no one talks about how trying to have the perfect holiday can actively ruin it or how forcing it on others makes them actively miserable for so long.

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[blackasmyhangryfurrybrokensoul]

I'm struggling to word this but I guess

I feel this deep pain towards myself. Because there are all these things I need/want/expect from other people. Which are not necessarily unreasonable. But they're not able to give it for whatever reason. And THEIR reasons aren't unreasonable either, nobody within the situation is necessarily being unreasonable.

But there's something about me and the way I communicate with people that just makes me seem bossy. Or like...harsh. Like they've failed if they can't do that. When really it's not on them and again their reasons for not being able to do something are reasonable, but just that I am being harmed too much by the lack of the things I'm asking for to like...not ask. And I feel like by asking for stuff, instead of getting what I need, I just end up hurting the other people in my life and making them feel like they're not good enough which then hinders their ability to work WITH me to problem solve and make sure everyone is getting what they need, and then everyone just feels like shit and I wanna die again.

And I don't know what it is I'm doing that causes people to feel so bad. I don't understand how to communicate things with the same sense of "I need this" but softer. I don't want to be hurting people by asking for stuff. I don't want to be hurting people at all. I feel like a shitty person, I feel like a shitty partner and a shitty daughter and a shitty friend and a shitty sister and a shitty person to simply know. I feel like all I ever do is cause others pain. If I try to get close I'm also asking for too much. If I pull away I'm hurting them with my absence. But I feel pain too strongly to just. Not ask for stuff to help, like, if we're close. If I wanna die over it I think there's an issue there you know? And it's no one's fault that I feel pain this much and I don't know how to communicate to people "yes I am in a lot of pain right now but this is just the intensity of what I feel. I understand that this may seem like an overreaction, but please understand that the intensity of my reaction in comparison to the appropriate reaction is not your fault." WIthout like. Shifting all the blame bc genuinely I wouldn't be feeling bad if their actions were different.

I feel the strong urge to deflect these feelings and actually take it out on other people and I feel very very aware of that. I feel like IM not doing enough and so I feel like I wanna deny that and make it seem like everyone else isn't doing enough for me. and THIS is really genuinely shitty of me and I may not be a shitty person to people generally but the moment I let this happen I can't say I'm not being shitty anymore

And i just fucking hate how little self control I have

At least now I'm not bursting at the seams with some deniers bullshit about what people aren't doing for me.

Although I genuinely feel like just saying "I miss you too" back without me demanding it or anything would've helped a lot.

But yeah besides that at least I really have nothing to say to anyone.

Idk

Idk how to feel better. I want to not exist. Not quite feeling violent enough to want to die die but I really wish I didn't exist.

[rogue-durin-16]

SUNGLASSES AND LIPSTICK STAINS (part I/III)

Summary: after having his heart torn in half at Tina's party, Steve finds comfort in the most unexpected person. Who would have guessed he would develop such a strong connection with someone he's barely spoken to?

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Genre: angst (hurt/comfort)

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @comfort-reads

Warnings: language, mentions of alcohol, Steve breaking down because that needs a tw.

A/N: taking creative liberty to a) move the release of 'Like A Virgin' Studio Album to September of '84, and b) make Steve and Nancy fall apart a bit earlier for the sake of the plot. It does have a second part, but they can be read separately. That said, enjoy <3.

Part II

Part III

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

Don't cry don't cry don't cry, I begged myself, stalking out of the boisterous house with my thumb and index rubbing away the tears. Don't cry here, I repeated, not at Tina's fucking pre-Halloween party.

October's sharp air cut through my lungs, making me choke up. Maybe the drastic change of temperature wasn't to blame, maybe it was the lump in my throat I was desperately trying to swallow.

She didn't love me.

Gnawing on my lip harsh enough to draw blood, I put the sunglasses back on in an attempt to hide the inevitably shed droplets of salty water spilling from my lids —though they were dried by the light yet freezing wind as soon as they fell.

A part of my mind was begging me to give Nancy the benefit of the doubt, but weren't drunk words sober thoughts?

Drunk words. As stupid as it may have sounded, it hadn't dawned on me. She was hammered.

I had abandoned a completely wasted Nancy in a stranger's bathroom, alone in a house full of people like Billy Hargrove. God, I was the worst.

"Shit."

My eyes darted a tentative glance at the house over my shoulder before being casted down to stare at my shoes. I had to do it, didn't I? Or I could just walk away.

Breathe in, breathe out.

I could just get into my car and leave.

Breath in.

"Fuck." Sniffling, I turned heel and jogged to the backyard's door I had just walked through in search of a breather.

Navigating the crowd of sweaty, intoxicated highschool students was much easier the second time. Although I was grateful for not having to shove my way back to what had been my starting point, I didn't like one bit the way everyone seemed to spare me pitiful looks when I passed by.

Gosh I didn't want to do it —I really didn't want to— but still my trembling hand knocked on the closed bathroom door.

"Nance?" I hated how my voice so obviously cracked at the nickname. "Nance, open up." I pleaded, leaning my defeated form on the door frame.

A couple of seconds passed. Still no response.

"Nancy." I tried again, my patience running shorter each time the girl didn't reply to my calls. So short that I decided I wouldn't wait for her to turn the knob. "Jesus, Nance, can you—"

I froze at the now clear entrance; my mushed brain refused to fully process that the reason why Nancy was not listening to my request was because she was, in fact, not there anymore.

And what were the odds —genuinely, what were the fucking odds— that the tiny window facing the front yard was perfectly situated for me to see Jonathan Byers helping Nancy climb into his Ford LTD's passenger seat.

That was it, that was what it took. My body allowed me just enough time to shut myself into the bathroom before breaking down.

After sitting down —or more like falling—on the cold tiles, everything was a blur of shoulders spasming and heart pounding in my ears so loud that it prevented me from hearing my own sobs.

In the span of a year, my life had changed drastically —technically for the better, but I had lost my closest friends and pretty much everything that was familiar to me. I got by just fine because I had Nancy, and now she was most likely gone too.

I was alone. Again.

My fingers tangled and tugged at my roots in an attempt to ground myself. I had to— I needed to get a solid grasp of reality, get up, and walk to my car.

I was barely succeeding in pulling myself back together the best I could when the third mistake of the night came to bite me in the ass; I hadn't put the latch on.

READER'S P. O. V.

"Wait!" Samantha's fingers pinched dangerously tight the cheap white lace of my fingerless glove, which gained her a slap on the back of her hand. "Ouch! Where you going?! You just came back!"

"I need a makeup retouch!" I yelled over the party's racket, pushing my friend's grasp off me. "I'll be back in a minute!" I assured her, walking backwards in the bathroom's general direction. "Pinky promise!" Giving the girl an apologetic smile, my digits found the knob at my back and gave it a swift twist.

I didn't even realize I wasn't alone until I was fully inside the room with the door locked behind me.

"Oh my gosh— Sorry! I-" I frowned at how quickly the slouched form dressed in black raised to his feet and transformed into a fairly put together Steve Harrington, sunglasses on, chin up and hands on his hips, as if I hadn't walked in on him crying. "Didn't know... There was someone. Are you good?"

"Yup, don't worry, I was about to get going." He mumbled in a hoarse voice, rubbing his nose as he shifted his weight from one foot to another. "Uhm can I—" his index finger vaguely motioned at the door my back rested against.

"S-sure, yeah." I stepped further into the narrow space, clearing the way the best I could manage for the boy to leave.

He didn't leave right away though; instead, he stopped before me and parted his lips, drawing in a small breath as if he planned on voicing a thought, but nothing came out.

Maybe whatever booze Tina had put on that bowl at the kitchen counter was messing with me, but for an instant, I actually felt... bad for Steve Harrington.

"You uh... Came with Nancy Wheeler right?" I recalled seeing them dancing earlier and, thanks to the awkwardness my malfunctioning mind was putting me through, I completely missed the way he flinched at Nancy's mention. "I can— I can go get her if you want."

"Good luck finding her." A weak, rueful laugh accompanied Steve's sentence as he allowed his frame to lean on the wall opposed to me.

Apparently, he had no actual plans of leaving the bathroom, and it just didn't feel right to get out and let him be on his own, so I chose to tiptoe around the topic to at least get some answers.

"The damsel in distress left without her knight in shining armor?" It was a half mock I didn't bother to hide. After all, I had never been too fond of neither Steve nor Nancy, so no matter how well-intentioned I was, some bitterness was doomed to slip out.

Luckily, the boy seemed to take it with humor, choosing to not only indulge the poor analogy, but also taking on it himself. "Oh no, she left with him actually." He puckered his lips, giving me a couple of rapid nods followed by a resentful chuckle. "Yeah he's the knight in shining armor, I'm just bullshit."

"Jesus, Harrington." I whispered, my sympathy for the boy growing exponentially. I had a slight idea of who said knight in shining armor was, and if my suspicions were correct, what Steve Harrington was playing was a losing game.

"Am I that bad?" He questioned in a reedy voice.

"I... don't know?" It was surprisingly heartbreaking to not be capable of reassure him. "I just know you're a popular kid that sucks at history."

"But I'm not— do I look like a shitty person, like, from an outside perspective?"

'Yes' would be the truth, but the truth wasn't going to help anyone. "I don't know, Steve." I shrugged, grasping onto the edge of the sink's counter behind me. "For what's worth, since you parted ways with Hagan and Perkins, you come across like uhh... Like a better person?"

"I'll take that as a compliment, I guess." He announced, running his fingers through his tousled hair before shoving both hands into his pockets. "Thanks, Y/n."

"Oh, wow." I breathed out a genuinely surprised laugh, tilting my head to the side. "you know my name."

"What d'you mean? We were in like" one of Steve's hands left his pocket to aimlessly gesture around. "What? three group projects together? And that's just this year. How could I not remember your name?"

"I mean— okay, fair, but you're Steeeve Harrington." I leaned forward while dramatically dragging his first name. This, for some reason, seemed to genuinely amuse him; I caught a glimpse of his half smile before he averted his gaze from me. "King of Hawkins High and shit. Didn't really expect you to remember my name."

He snorted at my latter quote, the tension visibly heaving on his shoulders slowly dissipating the more we talked. "You're pretty memorable. Specially considering that you yelled at me for not arriving on time. Several times." He remarked, mimicking my motions, back separating from the wall in order to briefly bend over.

"Sorry 'bout that." An apology wouldn't have been my preferred choice of words in any other scenario, but the moment didn't really call for a witty comeback.

"It's okay, I deserved it." He responded, retreating to his initial position.

What followed was an uncomfortable silence that begged to be broken, but I had only so much to talk about with Steve Harrington.

"I should head o—"

"I like your costume." Either his comment was louder, or he was too in his head to process mine on time. "Sorry, what?"

"Nothing." I found myself dismissing my own announcement in favor of exploiting another topic. "I didn't take you for a Madonna fan."

"Why? The woman's smoking hot, and she got some bangers." His genuineness twisted up the corner of my lips in a confused smile. That was certainly not how I had expected my night to go, but so far I was oddly pleased.

"I like yours." I bobbed my head at his clothing choice. "Risky Business?" He hummed affirmatively, a tinge of pride making his chest swell. "Nice. Can I try on the sunglasses?"

"Uh... Sure."

Hesitance could be read in his body language whilst handing me the glasses. As soon as I got a hold of them, he immediately casted his head down, fixing his gaze on his shoes.

I spun around to face the mirror, deciding not to bring attention to his avoidant demeanor. "What do we think?" I questioned instead in a lighthearted, almost joking tone after putting on the sunglasses. "I personally think they make me look cool."

Steve peeped at me through his still watery lashes and the ghost of a small smile fighting to bring some light to his face. "You look cool."

"Nice try but nope, it's definitely the glasses." I countered, using my middle finger to slide them down my nose enough for my eyes to be visible. "They make a pretty good job of blocking the view, don't they?"

"They do." He muttered.

After catching his eyes on the reflection once more, I did an 180 and hopped on the marble countertop.

"First heartbreak?"

"And last." Steve's brows rose as he distractedly kicked the tiles.

"You know it's completely okay to cry, right?" He huffed, so I insisted on the matter. "Everyone's wasted anyway, you don't need these." My fingernail tapped on the plastic arm of the complement.

"Y/n," Steve scoffed, pushing himself off the wall to approach me. "I have uhhh a reputation." He stated with wide eyes and raised brows and, in the midst of trying to figure out whether or not he meant it as a joke, I found myself cackling. "Are you laughing at me?" He inquired with an outraged frown that I, again, didn't know if I should take seriously.

"I don't know, am I?"

"You better not." He barely had to reach out his fingertips to take the sunglasses from me, which made me suddenly aware of how close he stood. "I'm already sensitive."

"My apologies." I whispered with an amused smile, leaning back on my hands to put some more inches between us.

"As I was saying before you decided to be rude," he made a stop to place back on his sunglasses. "I have a reputation." His hand came to rest by my thigh on the counter. "So there's no way in hell anyone in here is seeing me shed a single tear."

"I just saw you sob, though." I teased with a quirked brow.

"I'll allow that because you've put up with me for" he brought his wrist up to his face as if he was about to check his wristwatch. "A long ass while. I'm sorry for keeping you here."

"It's not like you're keeping me captive," I nodded at the door, briefly redirecting Steve's attention to it. "I could've left."

"Yeah, but you didn't."

"Because I didn't do what I came here for yet." I explained, pointing at my face. "I was supposed to retouch my makeup."

"Why?" I felt the embarrassing urge to whine when Steve pushed himself off the sink. "It looks good to me." He stated in a confused tone, pushing his sunglasses up to rest on his head.

"You need glasses. Like, actual glasses," I declared, scrunching my nose. "'cause you're blind."

He puffed out a jaunty 'oh c'mon', which made a smile creep up my visage. Had I just managed to cheer him up?

"You wanna have a laugh before leaving the bathroom?"

"What do you have in mind?"

Steve's eyes notably widened when I pulled up the side of my white layered tulle skirt, which sent me into a fit of giggles while I fished out my mini makeup palette from my thigh high, and consecutively extended my arm to hand it to him.

"Fix my makeup, pretty boy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

STEVE'S P. O. V.

No matter how many times Y/n had assured me I could mess it up and she wouldn't mind because 'it's a Halloween party anyway', I still tried to do my absolute best, which obviously required a very slow process for something Y/n could have probably finished herself in a couple of minutes.

"Stay still."

Knocknocknock!

"IT'S OCCUPIED!" The girl shouted, making me yank her face back to me by holding her cheeks.

After the second person who walked in on me attempting to retouch Y/n's makeup, we had decided to put the latch on the door.

"I'm struggling here, Y/n," I absentmindedly informed her, words coming out muffled by the lipstick I held between my teeth while I tilted her chin up. "so if you could please stop moving—"

"Steve, I appreciate the dedication, but you're taking forever." she quipped in a lighthearted manner.

"Excuse me, but I believe you told me to fix up your makeup, not to ruin it." I riposted before blowing away the surplus dust from the brown eyeshadow I had just finished applying. "Okay, we reached the critical point." I announced, putting down the compact case to take the red lipstick bar from my mouth.

"Okay wait!" Y/n, who had until then been lolling on the countertop, sat upright and wrapped her fingers around both my wrists. "Now I want you to take it easy. This lipstick" she shook my right wrist. "Is a menace. You gotta be careful."

"Pfffft I got this," I assured her with regained confidence I had thought lost when I first entered the bathroom. "trust me."

"Alright, I'm trusting you." Her hands released mine and went to rest on her lap.

"But you can't move."

"I won't."

"And you can't talk." I reminded her, holding her jaw still with one hand while the other held the lipstick a couple of inches away from her lips.

"Okay." Our voices had gradually gotten lower until hers became a barely audible whisper, followed by a silence filled only with the distant sound of Psycho Killer playing in the living room.

Slowly but surely, Y/n's plump lips were carefully coated in a deep shade of red. Blinded by self-assurance and the incomprehensible wish to prorogue my time standing inches away from her, I resolved to do a second layer.

Not even halfway through the process, the bar slipped down. "Shit!"

"Steeeve, that's not my lip." She singsonged with a growing grin that made my task much difficult for more than one reason.

"I know. wait, I think can fix it— stop smiling!"

"I'm sorry!"

"I'll fuck it up even more! Damn it, Y/n." I took a deep breath, straightening my back in order to release some tension. "hold on."

Cradling her cheeks to make sure she was kept in place, I brushed the red beneath her lower lip with my thumb, slightly parting it from her upper one as a consequence.

The mistake was quickly fixed, but I was unable to let go. There was definitely something mesmerizing about that shade of red, I figured after finding myself repeating the previous motion with my thumb, this time with a featherlight touch.

"I fixed it." I struggled to find my voice and release Y/n's face, but I managed. Had I not known better, I'd have sworn she sighed when my hands switched her skin for the countertop. "You wanna... Uh... Check?"

"Sure." I didn't have time to take a step back before being frozen in place by her motions; instead of turning around to look at the mirror, she pulled my sunglasses down to my nose and checked herself in the reflection.

The sunglasses must have done an excellent job of blocking the view, because Y/n seemed completely unaware of how my eyes had latched onto her lips and wouldn't let go.

"I'm impressed, Harrington." She commented, returning the sunglasses to my head without a warning.

It took me a second too long to lift my gaze from the red lipstick.

"Steve?"

I wanted to voice my thoughts —I really did—, but my exhaustion only permitted me to act on impulse.

A muted gasp escaped Y/n's throat when I lunged forward to press my lips to hers, which made me realize how stupid that decision had been.

Just as I began to pull away, Y/n's lace covered palm found it's way to my cheekbone, sliding into my hair as soon as my own hands landed on her hips, bringing her upper body closer to mine.

I wouldn't be able to tell whether it lasted two seconds or two minutes, but it felt way too short.

"Okay" her soft panting fanned over my parted lips. "Okay we can't— this—" she puffed, shaking her head 'no' as she leaned back. "We can't do that."

In my haze and my neediness, I could only ask, "W-why?"

"Because" she contorted to the side to reach for a wet towel laying near the sink. "You're dating Nancy Wheeler—"

"I don't know about that."

"and" she went on, shushing me with her index finger before attempting to remove the red mess her lipstick had made on my mouth and around. "I have to see her nearly every afternoon." She might have noticed my confused visage, because, with a sigh, she explained further. "My little brother is best friends with Mike."

"Henderson." My brows raised so high they met my hairline. It had taken me a hot minute to put two and two together. "Holy shit."

"Holy shit." She agreed, giving me a soft push so she could jump down the sink. "Now, I don't particularly like Nancy, but I don't know if I'd be able to look at her in the eye after..."

"Fair point. Jesus, I'm sorry." I groaned, taking off the glasses to manually comb my hair in an anxious manner. "I shouldn't— I didn't even think-"

"No, it's okay."

"No—"

"Steve—"

A loud bang on the door made us both jolt on the spot.

"Y/N! I'M GOING HOME, AND I'M LEAVING WITH OR WITHOUT YOU!"

"Fuck— COMING SAM!" I watched as Y/n's skirt twirled gracefully when she checked herself in the mirror, trying to fix her lipstick before making her way to the door. "I... Guess I'll see you around?" She tentatively asked, sparing me an apologetic glance over her shoulder with her fingers already around the knob.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll... See you around."

She gave me a small wave before unlocking the door and leaving it ajar after sneaking out of the bathroom.

I couldnt help but let out a quiet laugh at the snippet of conversation I caught from both girls.

"He really touched up your makeup up, didn't he?"

"Shut up or I'll murder you with my bare hands."

[lookformyvoice]

Corporate Affair : 1

Jungkook didn't think presentations could surprise him anymore. That is until he witnessed the presentation of his new team member. (nsfw) (ft. Park Jimin)

━ jungkook x female!oc

━ 3.3k words.

━ 18+

━ smut, fluff, slow burn, corporate au, workplace romance au

━ warning/s: explicit sexual content

A/n: Hey, everyone! Here is the first chapter to Corporate Affair. It's been at least one and a half years since I have jotted down some fiction and not going to lie, my brain was so dead in the creative sense that from gathering words, ideas to even willpower, everything was an Achilles heel for me, haha. But anyways, I’m getting into writing again, though slowly. But better something than nothing. 

I genuinely hope readers find this story interesting ('cause I'm doubting this so much). It's going to be a slow burn so if you're looking for some immediate relief, this ain't it lol.

And, my rant ends here. Peace out!

Masterlist I Next

Jungkook can't resist it. He simply can't. It’s quite a momentary action, won’t even take that long honestly but he couldn’t risk it in case the feeling escalates and he has to take more than a second to recompose himself. After all, a moment or two change everything when one’s behind the wheel.

But alas, he gave in. Gave in to the sheer annoyance coursing through his veins as soon as he saw a familiar caller ID flashing on his car screen. And he, gasp, rolled his eyes so deep it’s a wonder they didn’t get stuck in there.

"It hasn't even been two weeks since you left," Jungkook's right hand swiftly handled the wheel as the other rested on his lap. "Why-” The interrogatory word came out too harsh and he really wouldn’t have allowed his tone to be like that any other time but this person had really crossed a line here. “-have you called me five times already?"

"Aww, you're keeping a count, huh?" Jimin's cooing proved to one of the million reasons why Jungkook can't stand his colleague/friend (Or so he says). “I just want to make sure you are not missing me.”

“Oh, rest assured, nobody’s missing you. Not even Tae-” Jungkook’s retort was interrupted when he heard laughter from the the other end. “Hyung? You there?”

It took one more ‘hyung’ from Jungkook for the said man to return, “Sorry, man. So, what was it? Yeah, I didn’t want you to miss m-” 

"If you don't have anything important to say, I'm hanging up."

"Yah, the four times I called-"

"Five."

Jimin groaned, "Yeah, yeah. Well, was any of it for non-work purposes?"

"It’s never just work with you, hyung. It’s all meshed in, so yeah, there was both-" Jungkook halted to a pause when the loud noises interrupted him again.

He waited for it to die down and focused entirely on the road ahead him. In moments, Jimin returned. "And... Sorry, what were we talking about again?"

Jungkook didn't bother reminding him, it was the usual bantering anyways. "You seem to be having fun over there."

He felt Jimin smile from the other end, "Man, it's fucking amazing. Tokyo is wow. The whole team went out for drinking yesterday and there was this bar with the most amazing sushi. And then we went out for karaoke too. I got home at two, can you believe it? I didn't think I had it in me anymore but looks like I still got it."

The younger man sighed at Jimin's jolly tone, "Hyung, you're in a superior's capacity there. Shouldn't you be behaving a bit responsibly?" And he lightly tilted the steering to the right which had the Mercedes glide into the underground parking lot.

"Ugh, shut up. It was my welcoming party, well, a super-delayed one but they really insisted on throwing one so I couldn't just not go. And unlike some people, I happen to enjoy mingling with people." That felt like a dig at Jungkook and he was sure it was meant to be one. "And my colleagues don't seem to mind my company either."

"Why would they mind it? They’re currying favours by spending more time with you, if it wasn't that obvious already. Plus, if their boss himself is slacking around, it gives them more the excuse when they fuck up themselves later-"  

"Yah, dongsaeng-ah," Jimin emphasized the word to remind the sharp-tongued maknae of the age gap between them that the latter never gave two fucks about. "I didn't call to have you bite my ears off. Just reminding that the new member is joining today."

Silence followed, which was unusual since Jungkook always had a comeback to literally anything and everything Jimin said. "Jungkook-ah, you there?"

"Yeah, yeah. I was just parking the car."

Jimin rolled his eyes at the non-committal response. As if Jungkook needed to be so focused during something as mundane as parking a car considering how good he was at driving, "Yeah, well, the new member is coming-"

"I heard that. And I remember it too." Jungkook finally put the car at rest and leaned back on his seat.

Jungkook and Jimin worked at one of the top multinational consulting firms, Maverick & Park but in different teams. Today there was a new team member joining Jimin's Conflict Resolution and Negotiations team (Or CRN team, as was the lingo at the firm) but he was away in Japan for a three-months project. And hence, along with looking after Jimin's team, Jungkook was also to oversee the new consultant's onboarding and so forth.

"Just make sure to give a good welcome, okay. It's bad enough her actual team leader isn't there for that." .

A crease formed on Jungkook’s forehead when he heard this. Jimin had mentioned her in literally all five calls he had made since he had left and Jungkook really wondered why he is so insistent on it. Not only was Jungkook obviously going to make sure the new team member settles in well- it was his fucking job after all- but also that this continuous persistence for being a good host was baffling to Jungkook considering how commonplace the event of onboarding a new consultant was. 

So he voiced his thoughts, "There isn’t any need to feel bad, hyung, you aren't playing hooky over there or something. You’re there for work after all." Jimin felt slightly allayed with the maknae's words. It didn't last long. "Or at least I hope you are."

The older ignored the last comment, "Yeah but you know how important she is. Everyone wanted her on their team but damn, I guess the best one won."

"There are basically just three conflict resolution teams at our branch. Barely an everyone."

"Tsk! You're such a party-pooper. Whatever. Just make sure to-"

"I said I will." Jungkook checked himself in the car's mirror before glancing at his watch, "Is there anything else other than the obvious? 'Cause I gotta run and-"

Ugh, he’s such a brat, "Yeah, fine. That was it." Just as he was about to end the call he heard Jungkook's words,

"And get some sleep. Geez."

A smile formed on Jimin’s lips. "Alright. Bye then."

He’s a cute brat though.

A week later, Jungkook was running a glance through his mailbox before one of his personal reminders on his other desktop screen reminded him of the meeting he had with the CRN team at 1:20pm. He checked the Rolex strapped on his wrist and got off the swivel chair before strutting out of his office. He languidly paced towards the conference room as he utilized this ten-minutes window not only to give his body a much-needed break from the 90-degreed posture he had sat in for the past hour but also to mentally revise the meeting’s agenda. And just then he spotted a certain figure entering the meeting room round the corner.

Lee Areum. Jungkook recognised the figure with ease, having grown used to it in the past few days. The consultant because of whom Jungkook had been subjected to Jimin’s torturous calls every morning. But after she joined, he realized Jimin wasn’t the only one obsessed with making her the subject of their conversation. Jungkook’s own Strategy and Intelligence team (SnI) and the rest of the divisions on the 23rd and 24th floor were all whispering about her so much that it came to even Jungkook’s notice, who mostly stayed aloof at work.

The attention Lee Areum was getting wasn’t exactly surprising though. Considering how close-knitted the Korean community is, a mere fresher joining work made news too. But apart from the obvious novelty, Lee Areum herself, as a person, wasn’t exactly that inconspicuous either. Her tied-up raven hair, where most Korean female employees chose to leave theirs open and her stylish attire, that impressively stood out from most of the already-fashionable crowd at Maverick & Park- all this definitely physically set her apart.

But there was more too. Lee Areum’s mannerisms- how she spoke, walked and even something as bare minimum as the way she stood, it all felt different. Charming even, as some had put it. And all this had led many to believe that she probably belonged to a wealthy family but there was no way to confirm it. Lee is a terribly ordinary last name to get any useful leads from and when asked directly, Lee Areum had denied the rumour outright, which confirmed the suspicions of many. Well, she obviously can’t admit it, you know. They are supposed to keep these kinds of things a secret. Is what the employees-turned-sherlock-holmes had reasoned.

Then why the fuck would you ask her anyways? Were Jungkook’s thoughts when this had reached his ears. Yeah, Jungkook wasn’t a big fan of the gossip flying around around Lee Areum. This was such a routine thing at the firm that he knew within a few weeks, people will find a new target and all this talk will have dust sitting over it. The only thing that Jungkook cared about was that as long as this Lee Areum's being different didn’t pose any issue, there was no need to be interested in anything other than her professional life.

What Jungkook didn’t know was that his nonchalant attitude, which surely wasn’t wrong, was going to come and bite his ass in precisely six minutes.

Fuck! Jungkook desperately and (hopefully) subtly squirmed in his chair as he mentally praised whoever that came up with the idea of dimming down the lights during a presentation. Though this didn't help his situation at all, it at least promised some privacy against his junior colleagues. Oh god. He winced as he ran the word through his mind since it held far great importance than one could imagine, especially at this moment. 

After all, how mortifying would it be if these hoobaes get to know that their interim team leader- Jeon Jungkook, one of the most impressive consultants at the Seoul branch, got a fucking boner in the middle of a presentation.

And if that wasn't enough, the cherry on top was that he got hard because of the presentation. 

Fucking shit! Jungkook kept chanting similar vulgar incantations in his mind and shifted in his chair from time to time but that was it. What else could he do anyways? Running out was impossible, his dick was too hard to do anything of that sort, plus the walk to the restroom would be terribly embarrassing. And the other alternative? Getting off. Yeah, so you get it, he really had no option but just to remain engulfed in this... this confusing state of reverie where he was panicking so hard at the situation he was in but also loved the ripples spreading through his body.

Oh god. This wave was stronger, so much that Jungkook had to bring his fingers near his mouth to seal it in the most inconspicuous way possible in order to avoid any lewd noises escaping his lips. Shit, shit. Shit! 

This wasn’t on the agenda. Oh, this so wasn’t. You know what was? Choi Heejin giving updates about her soon-to-be-finished report on a deal she had recently closed. Do Jinhyeok and Son Seokmin informing of the recent developments in their respective cases. Jungkook asking them the necessary questions about their progress and them asking him doubts that he would be glad to resolve. Both the parties contributing amicably to maintain the quality of the projects. This was on the agenda. Not getting hard at the most inappropriate time like some horny teenager. And who the fuck gets hard during a godforsaken presentation!? A presentation!?

Anyways.

Don't blame Jungkook for this entirely though because this wasn’t something that happened involuntarily. Not as if Jungkook’s dick just went ‘Top of the morning to ya!’ and sprang up. No. There was an instigation, and it was when Nam Doyun and the latest addition to the CRN team, Lee Areum started off their presentation on the case they had been jointly assigned to work on. Doyun’s part was nothing out of unexpected plus Jungkook was working with him for the past few weeks already, so he was familiar with the guy.

Lee Areum though. Daaaaamn. This literally went off in his mind in under fifteen seconds of her speaking. She was explaining how she and Doyun were planning on undertaking the case and it was clear (quite expected too) that their research and planning was fantastic. The project seemed like it would sail through in the smoothest way possible. And the pair seemed to make an exceptionally compatible team in spite of having met each other just a few days ago. 

But the number of studied observations Jungkook made decreased with time as he listened to Lee Areum and then went down to none as his focus began centering around the alluring person in front of him. His eyes felt a pull, a freaking pull, towards her and the already dimmed down surroundings somehow dulled further as if next to her, everything else was so worthless that it could and should only fade away because really, staying in her shadows was the only way anything could ever coexist with her.

What is it? Is it her intricately woven speech that makes the statistics she is mentioning sound like a ballad? Or is it the utter lack of filler words while she speaks? Is it her eyes? How they make you feel as if she could convince you to jump off a cliff the moment you stared into them? Or was it her confidence? Oh god, why does she look at me like she’s staring at my freaking soul? Okay, got it. The eyes and the confidence for sure. But was that all? Oh no.

What had really intrigued Jungkook was actually a very commonplace detail. Everybody has it more or less. But as someone who appreciates the magic of sounds, Jungkook found Lee Areum’s voice to be the most beautiful sound he had ever heard in an office setting. It’s not as if he hadn’t heard her talk before, she did participate by giving inputs during meetings but consultants usually had considerable autonomy while on projects so unless it was for those meetings, he didn’t have as many opportunities to take notice of it. 

Turns out, not listening to her enough beforehand had turned out to be the lethal mistake that led to his demise. He hadn't heard her speak at length before especially not with her being the only object of his attention and fuck, how had he missed her beautiful, deep voice? She wasn't a full-blown contralto, no, the lightness lacing her tone made sure she wasn't, but she wasn't a mezzo either. Her voice lied somewhere in between and oh god, what he wouldn’t give to just hear her serenade him for his entire life as she writhed beneath him.

He drew a sharp breath as he painted that scenario in his head. She would never be quiet, she’ll never hold back her moans. She seemed too confident for that. Huh. Would she even concede me the control then? Damn! Oh god, will she ride me? She will, won’t she? Of course she will, what was I thinking? Someone like her will never stay under, hell no. Jungkook’s brows furrowed and with a clenched jaw he imagined her rising and then slapping hard on his lap. Fuck, she'll keep bouncing, huh, always meeting my eyes and never shy away. And she’ll moan lusty nothings into the air and- Oh wait. Team leader. Fuck, I want her to say team leader while she fucks me and uses me to make herself feel good. Say it again and again, in that deep voice of hers-

"Team Leader?"

Yes, say it. Exactly like that-

"Team Leader Jeon?"

Jungkook broke out of his trance and his head snapped to the voice that had called out to him, "Huh? Oh, yes, Miss Choi?"

Heejin smiled awkwardly at the wide-eyed, whiplashed Jungkook, "Uh, Miss Lee asked if there are any questions since the presentation's over."

It took him some seconds to understand what was going on and everything that had faded away earlier firmly reclaimed their position. Everything came back to him accompanied with the horrifying realization of the shit he had just pulled Or hadn't... yet. And as if that self-realization wasn’t enough, the awkward glances of his team members just left a sinking feeling in his heart. 

And to top it all, Lee Areum just stood there in the front as she stared at him with sheer disbelief and his heart dropped. Nobody knew he was hard, including her, but there was a good reason why Lee Areum seemed so distressed. Everyone knew how important the first presentation at a new place was in terms of setting a precedence and so he knew exactly what ran through her head. That she sucked so bad her team leader zoned out during her bare five-minutes long talk. If she couldn’t keep him engaged for such little time, who's to say the clients will be at all convinced by the ideas she is pitching them.  If, at all, they give her enough attention to even be convinced.

Oh, no, no, no. Goddammit! Jungkook knew the word will spread out fast about his reaction to her and everyone will consider it to be the ultimate judgement because bosses are apparently always fucking right and since this seemed much more gossip-worthy than just thinking that Jungkook was actually spacing out.

But fuck all that, he would come out clear and clarify the incident himself in case the hell unleashes but the last thing he wanted was for someone as capable as her to think low of herself,

"Yes, of course.” He replied while composing himself. “That was- Miss Lee, it was a great presentation." She nodded but he saw her gulp hard and realized she probably thought he said it just for the sake of it. "It was. The research was on-point but your reasoning on how to handle the conflict between the clients was excellent. I noticed the inputs from your previous experience with mergers and I’m sure they’d help you immensely on this case."

Jungkook watched her lips part in awe, probably surprised that he had indeed paid attention but he wasn't going to stop just there. He felt extremely guilty for letting her feel, even for a second, that she wasn't good. If she felt so but just in case she did, "But most importantly, your presentation style is commendable. It keeps one intrigued till they very end and I am sure your clients won't be able to resist your power either. I can see why team leader Park spoke so highly of you. Keep it up."

Everything went silent for a while, it wasn’t just Areum who was in shock, the rest of the team was too as they didn't expect the esteemed Jeon Jungkook, who mostly kept to himself, to be so vocal about Areum's performance. But they were glad their teammate did well and they voiced it to her, chirping loud compliments as Areum bowed politely to all of them.

And now, for the most important thing. “All right, then. That wraps up the meeting. Mr. Nam and Miss Lee, all the best on your case, we hope you have a safe flight on Monday. Others too, great work. Hoping to see the paperwork completed as per the deadlines.” They (again) loudly thanked him for his words and Jungkook was convinced Jimin’s influence was the reason why the entire CRN team was so loud. “Now scram. I have to go over some stuff here.”

In between bowing and wishing goodbyes, Jungkook felt an attractive dark gaze focused on him and when he faced it, its owner smiled softly before bowing lightly again and then finally departing which is when Jungkook realized something.

Lee Areum had done a lot of things to him today- had his dick riled up under a minute or so, made him out to be an almost-laughingstock in front of his colleagues, instigated panic and guilt, and had him break out of his ‘man-of-a-few-words’ persona to profoundly compliment her.

All of this was so unexpected but even when combined, it came nowhere near to what he felt when she smiled at him just now.

Ahem, alright. Jungkook dismissed his elevated heartbeat quickly. No time for this. He sighed loudly and began typing on his phone to push his schedule by fifteen minutes before going quiet in his chair as he waited for the still raging storm to die down.

Damn, He somehow had an instinct, these three months are not gonna be easy.

Masterlist l Next

[demcnsinmymind]

He should go. He should just fucking...go. Because seeing her like this was horrible. Hearing her talk like this was horrible. Still way too eerie. Still way too similar. Making it even harder to keep his tight grip on what he had figured out was real. And he did try. Turning away. Doing what he'd always done back in there, too. Focusing on himself. Getting himself out of there. Keeping himself alive. Not letting anything from back in there get to him.

Because in there, everyone but him had been dead already. Ghosts from the past. Helping them would've been pointless anyway. He'd known their history. Had read all about it on the internet. They'd been doomed. Not even really real. At least not for him anymore. So there had been no point.

Soon enough, he faltered though. Stopped turning. Stopped trying to walk away. Because with her?...Fuck, it just hit different. Because this was now. This was here. In his time. Not in the past. And she was saying the exact same things he'd been saying countless times, and he knew what that'd felt like. Being in so much despair. Without any help. With people who were barely even there. It was a horrible thing to go through on your own.

"Just stop it" he muttered through gritted teeth, not exactly helpful, he knew, but at least he was saying something. Doing something. Even if for now, that meant trying to shut her up for a moment so he could get his own crazed thinking straight again. Only to soften back up a bit when he realized how...dumb it all was. So after a moment of struggling and taking a deep breath, he walked back over to her and slid down the wall right beside her, so he could sit next to her on the ground, keep her company.

"This place is a psychiatric hospital" he answered her question, making each 'p' pop as he did so. "Y'know. Where they put crazy people" he went on with a little laugh, and sure enough, maybe that did make him sound just a little bit crazy. Made him look the part when he gave her that grin, followed by a wink. "Though don't worry. As far I can tell, this one's a far more legit place than some of the other ones they could've put you in. Head physician seems fairly passable, compared to the previous fucking monster I had. Guess that's why some want to stay here. To get 'help'."

Sure enough. Deep down, he wanted to be one of those people. But he knew that was impossible. Given the fact that all his trauma, all his insanity stemmed from a place just like this. From 'doctors' and 'treatments'. He knew he'd never be able to trust any of them ever again. No matter how genuine and good they were at their job in these modern times. He'd always have to deal with this on his own.

When she asked him if he was real and like her, he suddenly grew a bit angry. "I am not broken" Lance clarified, eyes burning with a sudden ferocity. "They are never going to break me. So no. Guess we're not alike." Maybe that was a harsh thing to say, given the state she was in. But this was his weak spot. A sore one. And he needed everyone to get that straight.

Sadly enough, she seemed even more confused instead of calming down, the way he'd hoped he could help her. She just kept hitting him with more and more questions, making it harder and harder for him. It was only natural of course. People always liked to look up to him. To ask him to lead, to have all the answers, to be their backbone, to keep the show rolling. And sure enough, they did all of that because he'd wanted it to be that way. Needed it to be that way.

But still. It was hard to be on the constant giving end. Especially after everything he himself had been through. Why he was in here. He had so many questions of his own. Needed fucking help, too. But of course...if he thought it through, he knew that even if he was offered anything. Help. Comfort. Answers to his own questions...he wouldn't accept any of it anyway.

And oh boy, after seeing her scars, he definitely didn't want to go anywhere near any of his own problems, the scar he had. The one that perfectly displayed that yes, all of it had happened. That no, he wasn't crazy. That all of it had been real.

"Gemma." he said, firmly, after a moment of closing his own eyes, battling the unrelenting flashbacks of his own ordeals the more she talked about hers. He grabbed her wrist firmly, not just to try and snap her out of it, but also to keep himself grounded in this reality, too. To keep himself from slipping, and landing right back on that operating table in a time he never should've been in.

"You are losing your mind. And you're going to keep getting worse and worse if you let everything come over you all at once. One question at a time. One problem at a time. This isn't a race. This is a fucking marathon. So try to focus. On a very few things that matter. Your name. Your self. Your truth. Who gives a shit if we're wanted. Or what others think we are and what we're not. No one gets to decide any of that but us, okay." With that, he lets go of her wrist, gets back up.

"This is how I got out the first time, this is how I'll get out the second time. Now come on. Get back up. Go to sleep. We'll talk plans when you're in a better shape than...well, this." Him too, because the longer he stayed with her, the worse he seemed to get. And he sure as fucking hell didn't want any of that. He was pretty eager to get away from her already, was pretty far down the hall when he figured that maybe, one last thing could put her clearly troubled mind at ease. Even if he had no clue if it was even true yet. He just knew that back in Collingwood, he would've given anything to hear it from someone else but himself.

"For what it's worth: I believe you. It happened. But that's thing thing. It happened. In the past. This is now. And what you make of it is up to you. Just not tonight, okay. Not like this."

This place, was this hell? Everything seemed blank. If she did not know better, she would assume nothing had been meant to exist here or that anything existed in this space. Was this what hell was? Or was this the famous attic Gemma had was threatened with?

‘I don’t deserve this. No one does… What if, what if I die here? Who would know- Who would hear my story and my cries for mercy?’ No one. Gemma knew that yet part of her hoped the answer would change.

Her mind raced as a million thoughts tried to form into words. Gemma should not be here. They did this to her. They broke her in ways that no one could understand. Why could the doctors here not see that? Gemma screamed for so long, and all they did was ignore her. Why? What did she do to deserve this treatment? Noticing the man seemed not to pay Gemma much mind. She sighed. Was this going to be someone else who would ignore those pleas? ‘Gemma remember… You have to remember-’ Face turns blank for a second. What if this was not real? What if this was a memory she was reliving? That THEY implanted? No. The blood was real. That rage she felt, it was all real. Or it seemed to have all happened to her. Resting her back against the wall, she let the freezing temperature of the wall wash over her. ‘I have to remember. I can not forget who I am.’

What if they came back for her? Maybe if- ‘They are not coming back, Gemma. They did not want you in the first place. Sane people do not do that to children and continue it for years.’ “I was trying to be my best… I could have been my best. I didn’t mean to snap…” Gemma muttered silently. As she slid down the wall, the realization hit her. Those horrible people locked her away to keep her hidden. “I am not supposed to be here- I need to get out..” Eyes darted around the hallway. Why were there not many people out? Was- Was HE even real? Or was he like her, had her father been doing the same thing to other people? Was this where they dumped the people they broke past the point of no return?

Blinking, Gemma could see the blood. She never knew that a person could bleed that much. Cheeks became bright red at the thought. Gemma wanted to forget that. Yet, she could not. The guilt, something she did not understand, slowly ate at her since that night. 'He deserved it, Gemma. He was hurting you. They all were. He just happened to feel your wrath.'

“Who wouldn’t want to leave this place… What even is this place? I-” The question needed answering. Gemma did not know if she could trust anyone. “Are you real? Or are you like me? Broken and remade only to be broken again… Did they hurt you too?” The question nearly broke the woman as she sat on the cold tile floor. Even if this place was clean, it felt so D I R T Y. It damn near made her fucking sick. “There has to be a way out of here,” she mutters, “I need to find it.” Her head began to hurt, a dull throb that she knew would build over time, the lights overhead not making it any better. Watching the man approach the window, she noticed how he kept his distance. Did he fear her too? Did he know what she did to get here? Did everyone know and think of her as a monster? ‘I am not a monster-’ she reminds herself, ‘I did it to survive.’

What was CCTV? The woman’s head cocks to the side. These words were new to her. Hell, a lot of things were new to her. “What is CCTV? I don’t… I don’t know what that is, sorry. And, I am sure I can outrun them… I’ve run fast before. How far is it to a town or at least somewhere safe?” It made sense to her. To outrun the guards, maybe this man would not help her, but she would do it. Alone. Once she was past the cameras, it was easy to hide, right? How bad could the outside world be, and from there, she could make her own life. Become who SHE wanted to be. Hands slowly raise to her temples, tenderly touching them, trying to ease the pain. The more she thought and stressed, the worse it got, but she needed to escape this hell.

“Chosen one? What does that mean? If you and I are here, doesn’t that mean we are both broken? And we aren’t wanted? They keep us here because we have done something that makes us worthy of being kept away.” The woman did not mean to offend him, but, it appeared Lance was lied to. “I don’t… I don’t understand how you are a chosen one when it seems like we are locked away. Wouldn’t the chosen one be free?” Eyes watch his hand gestures. They were odd, that was for sure. However, the sarcasm went over her head. It was something she had yet to learn. “So, then, why do they believe you are brain dead? If you aren’t? Or do you play this like a game? Pretending that you are this braindead? You think I could play it too, and we could get out?” Gemma would try anything to get out of here, though the more she talked to this man, the more she wondered what his story was.

“Nice to meet you too, Lance. You can well, you know, call me Gemma… Even if I tell you another name. My name is Gemma.” She urged the man to understand that her name was, in fact, Gemma and nothing else. The woman figured he did not want to touch hands, so she retracted the hand. Sticking it in the pocket with the fork. Gemma had no plans on using it. For now, Lance had given her no reason to. “You got out… Then you can do it here, right? Wait- There are other places like this?” The woman looked confused, was there more like her? Just how long had these things been going on? The anxiety that was yet to be treated or even diagnosed began to make her feel like she could not breathe. “They have to believe me, though, Lance. It did happen. How else would I have these?” Gemma showed the two scars on her temples, “how could these happen? And why would I lie about what they did to me? How can I focus on myself when I feel like I am losing my memory and mind!” Closing her eyes, she tried ignoring the pain, but it was becoming harder to do so, “how will I figure out a plan? And know the right moment? Is that what you are doing?” @demcnsinmymind (just incase Tumblr is messing up.)

[hotcat37]

Things I like/love abt Trailer park boys,,,my beloveds

-random cats and dogs showing up throughout the episodes (I love how they just exist ig? Like they're not always acknowledged but sometimes you see a character holding a random cat or petting a dog and it rlly just makes the environment feel alive)

-I love the semi recurring gag of the boys going to jail at the end of every season, and if it's not Ricky and Julian it's only one of them or another character

-the season finales are ALWAYS fcking incredible and even in the Netflix seasons I've always been entertained by the shitstorm coming together

-the little detail of Julian always tucking his shirt into his pants,, it rlly gave him even more character to me and I was sad that he didn't do it anymore later on 😣

-the sense of community in the earlier seasons like,,I absolutely love that despite how greasy the boys' scams are they still go out of their way to help other park residents and you can tell they just absolutely love everyone there

-Ricky's cool fcking jacket when he worked at that school as a janitor <3

-everyone (well except Julian sometimes lol) being friendly to Treena despite being the kid of Mr Lahey. I found it rlly sweet that she got to hang out with them and she clearly felt rlly comfortable around them

-Trinity just being absolutely unhinged as a kid but also having this rlly sweet side to her? Despite acting off the rails at first she's mellowed out quite a lot as she got older and idk I feel like that's good for her character and makes her stand out from the rest of her family

-random but I love how Julian rejects Lucy every time she comes onto him. In a lot of shows this causes conflict cuz Lucy is ofc Ricky's girlfriend and Julian is Ricky's bestie and therefore there's often some kind of strange love triangle or at least a flirty relationship going on. But you can tell how much Julian respects Ricky and he's never harsh when he rejects her, which is a rlly compelling character trait in my opinion

-Bubbles not giving a fck abt toxic masculinity and just dressing however the fuck he likes and expressing his interests openly. It's so refreshing to see a male character just unapologetically being themselves without constantly being the butt of the joke. I also love how genuine his friendship with the boys is and that they don't make fun of him or exclude him for not being as conventionally 'masculine' as they are

-Ricky and Sara's relationship in Season 2,,,I really liked them together and they had good chemistry imo

-Randy always saying frigg off!!!! instead of fuck off but still saying bitch and whatnot lmfao

-Ricky doing absolutely insane shit (rolling a massive joint, being on fire) and Julian being completely desensitized to it

-background characters actually having names and having their own personality and running gags. They make the show feel so unique and real and it wouldn't be the same without Donnie constantly screaming "WHAT IN THE FUCK!!!!" or other shit going on in the background

-the pilot in particular tbh idk it usually takes a while for me to get into shows and I didn't have any expectations going into TPB but I was immediately sucked into the story. Like the aesthetics, the mockumentary format.... The fact that Ricky and Julian are a dynamic duo right off the bat even when they're claiming they'll stay away from each other is just so compelling. Julian very clearly being the protector of the park and having so many people look up to him sets him up as such an interesting and likeable character because we feel his struggle in both wanting to do better for himself and wanting to be there for the park residents. Ricky on the flip side seems like the 'bad' one of the two but it quickly becomes clear that he's struggling just as much as the rest of them and that he feels disoriented and lonely without his best friend. The little moment when Ricky stands outside Julian's trailer in the dark, petting a cat while Julian softly says he thinks Ricky is a good guy....just *cheffs kiss*

-the whole vibe of season 7. It really stands out from the other seasons because despite it being comedic as usual and having a slow start, there's just this weird ominous sense throughout the episodes. Like it's got this creepy supernatural feel to it sometimes. Like that shot of Julian's Monte Carlo sinking slowly into the lake, with the dark sky and shit? Horrifying. Like straight up that shit creeped me out lmao I rlly wish they'd do another season with more of those ominous moments

-I don't know how to explain this one but i fcking love how the main trio looks visually? Like not just "oh yeah they're attractive" but as in, these characters are super recognizable. In some shows I often mix characters up because there's nothing particularly outstandingly abt their appearance while here they're just so diverse? Julian's drink, his beard and his usual black outfit.... Bubbles with his massive eyes n coke bottle glasses, and his blonde hair.... Ricky with his Houndstooth shirt and pompadour and sideburns.... They just look so unique and i really wish the animated series would've exaggerated their proportions and physical traits because that would've been perfect in a cartoon setting 😫

-nobody caring that Randy and Lahey are gay. Obv this show still has some issues in regards to portraying LGBT characters but I love that none of the characters ever make a big deal out of these two's relationship. They only judge them for their strange sex shenanigans lmao Like Julian accidentally walking in on them that one time. He literally didn't even flinch he just got what he came for and when he got back he was like "geez you think you know some people...." referring to the strange roleplay but other than that he seemed completely unfazed. Idk it's like weirdly comforting to see how casual everyone is abt it

-J-Roc's dialogue bring creative and funny AF. Who's The Microphone Assassin? is one of my favorite episodes purely because of that incredible rap at the end lmfao It Could Happen To You plays randomly in my head all day every day ☠☠

-every character having a greasy side to them. Like they're all complex in their own ways and in some episodes a character could act antagonistic while the next episode they might be the most sane character of the bunch. I just like that they're not one dimensional

-the quotable AF dialogue and iconic scenes. Even ppl who have never even heard of Trailer Park Boys know the legendary scene where Lahey says "Julian! :D" and then proceeds to drunkenly stumble down the stairs. I quote shit like "had a couple drinks, saw a couple things...." or "that's one fucking nice kitty right there" so much that it's become part of my regular vocabulary 🐈

-specific but characters re-wear their clothes which makes the show feel more realistic

-the camera work being somewhat realistic and not managing to stay perfectly still when the camera crew starts running lol

-the low quality of the first seasons. It gives the episodes a nostalgic vibe to it

-Ricky being the only one who can successfully trick the cops while when the other boys try it, it fails miserably

-Cory and Trevor <3 That's it. That's the point

-it doesn't really have anything to do with the show itself but I love how many pictures/promo material that aren't in the show are available. There's so many cool pictures or deleted scenes to find online

-ig this is up to personal interpretation but I think it's cute how awkward Julian is with his love interests. Like it's not very noticeable with Candy in season 1 but with Julian's other love interests he just acts a little strange because despite the romances he's had throughout the show he clearly struggles to act any different around his girlfriends lol I think it's really endearing -all 3 of the boys openly (in Bubbles case privately lmfao) finding Coolnow absolutely adorable

This is definitely not all of the things I love abt the show but it's still quite a few! This show means the world to me so after my dislikes list it would only be right to compile what I love abt TPB <3

[lostinthewiind]

Piss Off Your Parents - Part 9

Ukai Keishin - Haikyuu

Synopsis: freshly turned 18, you want to prove to your parents that you aren’t a child for them to push around anymore. First, get a job at the local corner store. Second, use the store owner’s 26-year-old son with piercings and a cigarette addiction to piss your parents off. Third, accidentally fall in love.

Rating: PG13

Warnings: arguing, harsh language, swearing

Song → 18 by Anarbor

Previous → Part 8

Next → Part 10

The trek up the stairs from the store to the apartment felt like climbing a never-ending escalator that was going the wrong way. After the day you had had, you were both mentally and physically exhausted and ready to call it a night early.

Thankfully, as if you had finally hit a stroke of luck that day, Keishin had texted you saying that he would pick up dinner on the way home, saving you the exertion of having to leave the apartment again. So, with that information in mind, you kicked off your shoes for the day and fell unceremoniously onto the couch in the living room.

As you sat down, you heard the envelope in your back pocket crinkle and the sudden noise seemed to completely fill the otherwise silent apartment.

Ah yes, the envelope.

Pulling the decision to your future out of your back pocket, you stared at it for what felt like another hour or so. No matter how long you held the envelope in your hands, you couldn't force yourself to open it. You simply didn't want to.

At some point between when your mother had handed it to you and now, you had subconsciously decided that you wanted to choose your own path forward despite what the decision letter may or may not say.

Feeling strangely empowered and confident, you stood to your feet and ventured into the bedroom where you slipped the envelope into one of the drawers Keishin was letting you keep your clothes in and tucked it underneath one of your sweaters. Maybe one day you would open the damn thing when whatever was inside wasn't weighing so heavily on your mind and future, but today was not that day.

Just then, you heard the front door open and knew Keishin had arrived home. Closing the drawer, you plastered a smile across your face and exited the bedroom to greet your boyfriend.

"Welcome home, Dear," you giggled, trying your best to fake the part of a doting housewife. "How was the volleyball game?"

Keishin chuckled softly as you took the takeout bags from him. "It was a close game, but they pulled it together in the last set and won."

"Oh, good!" You placed the bags onto the table before retrieving some plates and chopsticks from the kitchen.

"How was your day?" he asked as he pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek.

You sighed as you thought back on your day. "It was okay," you answered, not really wanting to go into much more detail than that. You doubted Keishin wanted to hear about your minuscule problems with rude customers after the long day he had clearly had.

Keishin, however, picked up on your uncertainty right away. "Doesn't sound okay," he commented. "Want to talk about it?"

You shrugged. "Just some shitty customers. Seems I had forgotten how poorly low-level workers are treated sometimes . . . just threw me a little," you said. "I'll be fine. Just glad the day is over now."

"You and me both." He flashed a smile as he turned to head for the bedroom. "I'm just going to change quickly and then we'll eat."

"Sounds good." You started dishing out some of the food. "I was also thinking we could watch a movie tonight as well. I could use something to clear my mind."

"Sitting on the couch with a beer is an ideal evening in my book," you heard him respond faintly from the bedroom. "There's a new action movie that came out. I think it's about-"

You waited for Keishin to finish his sentence, but when he didn't, you cocked your head and looked toward the bedroom doorway. Before you had the chance to call out to him, he appeared in the doorway shirtless, eyebrows furrowed and the envelope from the university in his hand.

"W-why do you have that?" you asked, the look on his face upon discovering the letter making your heart drop. "That was in my drawer . . . why were you going through my things?"

"I was looking for my sweater, the one you always steal," he answered. "Y/N . . . what is this?"

Rounding the table and approaching Keishin, you snatched the envelope out of his hand. "That is one of the many reasons why my day today was so shitty."

As you turned to head for the kitchen to toss the envelope in the garbage and rid your life of it, Keishin followed you. "You didn't get in?" he inquired.

You shrugged. "I have no idea. I didn't open it."

As you moved to toss the letter into the trash, Keishin grabbed your wrist and stopped you. "Why are you throwing it out if you didn't open it yet?"

"Because I don't care what it says. I've decided that I'm going to stay here with you and work at the store. This is the life I want . . . the life I get to choose for myself."

"You should still open it," he reasoned. "You might change how you feel about it when you see the result."

"I don't want to change how I feel about it." You shook your head as you gently pried your wrist out of his grip. "No need to make things more difficult than they need to be. I've had enough difficulty for one lifetime, thank you very much. This decision is easy, and best of all, it makes me happy."

Gesturing to the envelope, Keishin sighed. "But this is what you wanted. When you told me about your dream to play soccer at the University of Tokyo, your face lit up. Why are giving up on your dream before you've even given yourself a chance to experience it?"

"Dreams can change, Keishin," you told him before sighing and deciding to humour him for a moment. "Okay, let's say I open this letter and somehow did get in. What then? I couldn't pay for that school in my wildest dreams; not without my parents' help. Sometimes dreams are just childish and unrealistic. So I found a new dream, one with us living here together."

"You could apply for student loans. Tons of people do." He folded his arms across his chest. "I don't think this is about the money or your parents. I think this is about us. You've gotten comfortable here."

Throwing your hands up into the air in exasperation, you huffed. "And so what if I have? Is that really so bad?"

"I just don't want you to throw away an opportunity like this over me."

"Over you?" you cocked a brow. "Because you're, what, trash? Not worth it? A lowlife? A burnout?"

Keishin bit at his bottom lip. "You know what's not what I meant."

Inhaling deeply, you glared down at the god-forsaken envelope in your hand and began to tear at the top. "Let's not fight about something that probably isn't even going to happen." You pulled the letter out and unfolded it, your eyes scanning the text quickly. "The University of Tokyo is notoriously difficult to get into and I-"

Keishin quirked a brow when you stopped mid-sentence. "What does it say?"

A broken laugh was the only thing you could manage as you lowered the letter and shook your head. "Un-fucking-believable." You handed the paper over to Keishin, the edge crumpled from where your grip had tightened when you read the decision.

Keishin looked at the page for all of two seconds before he found the bolded 'Congratulations' and a huge grin spread across his face. "You got in!" He was way more excited than you were about this. "This is good news. You can play soccer at the University of Tokyo. Come on, you can't tell me this doesn't make you at least a little happy."

"I wish it did," you answered honestly. "I wish it were that easy."

"It is! It can be." Keishin set the letter down on the counter and took your hands in his. "Student loans, part-time jobs, it's all possible. Sure, it might be a little tricky to work out, but it's totally possible."

When you didn't respond, Keishin hooked his fingers under your chin and tilted your head up to look at him. "Accept the spot at the university. Follow your dream," he told you.

". . . but I'll have to leave you." You felt the words catch in your throat and tried your hardest not to start crying. "You make me happy—you're the first thing that's made me genuinely happy in a long time—and I don't want to leave that for a chance at something that might not even work out."

"But what if it does work out? You don't know that it won't," he said softly. "Don't end up like me, looking back at your past and wondering what might have been if you had just chosen a different path. I know this might seem good enough for now, but how will you feel after ten or twenty years of working the same dead-end job for the same shit pay all while getting treated like shit by people who look down on you? Look at how one day of catering to pretentious assholes made you feel. Do you really want to live the rest of your life like that?"

"But what about you?" you asked, your voice shaky.

Keishin dropped his head, a few stray strands of hair falling into his face. Unlike that morning, when he had been asleep with loose hairs in his face, he looked annoyed and frustrated now. The bags under his eyes and tension lines on his forehead were a stark contrast to the soft, peaceful face you had woken up to that morning.

"Don't throw this away over me," he repeated. "Don't throw your future away over a 26-year-old burnout."

Lip quivering, you sucked in a deep breath. "I thought you were different . . . but you're just like everyone else."

Keishin eyed you. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You said I should make my own decisions and live my life how I wanted but it was all a facade." You slipped your hand out of his and took a step back. "In the end, you're just like everyone else . . . you think you have a right to plan my future for me without giving me a say in the matter. You want to tell me how to live my life just like my parents."

"How could you say that?" Keishin almost snapped but managed to collect his anger before he did. "All I want is what's best for you."

You scoffed as you wiped a tear from your cheek. "If I had a penny for every time I've heard that I'd have enough money to pay for the University of Tokyo and then you'd get your damn wish . . . I'd be gone."

"When did I ever say I wanted you gone? Why are you so adamant that going to Tokyo means we can't be together?"

"Why are you so against just letting me make my own decision about this?! Why do I have to go to play soccer at that fucking university and leave you? I don't want to leave you!"

"Why not? Why are you so damn hung up on someone like me?!"

"Because I love you!" The two of you froze in place the second those words left your mouth. Chest heaving from the shouting and high emotions, you snapped your mouth shut before you said anything else in the heat of the moment.

Eyes wide, Keishin stared at you like a deer in headlights. "You what?"

You debated whether or not you should repeat what you had said, but by then, the damage had been done. "I love you," you breathed. "And I know you told me not to fall in love with you . . . but I did. I fell hard and fast and now I'm stuck in you and I cannot possibly leave you so please stop asking me to."

You waited for what felt like an eternity for Keishin to say something, say anything. He opened his mouth a few times like he was about to, but nothing ever came out.

"Keishin . . ." You took a cautious step forward. "Please say something."

Keishin swallowed hard before looking you directly in the eyes. "If I said I didn't love you back, would you go?"

You felt your heart crack and the sensation of being punched in the gut spread throughout your entire body. "Is that what you're saying? You don't love me?"

"If I didn't, would you leave?"

You inhaled sharply. "If you look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you don't feel the same way that I do; that everything over the past few months has meant nothing to you, there would be no possible way I could stay in Miyagi," you answered truthfully. "If you tell me that you don't love me and that you never have, I would have no reason to stay in this prefecture."

Keishin's lips parted once more. "Y/N . . . I-" His brown eyes locked onto yours and you could feel what he was about to say even though he never did. "I . . . I can't do this right now."

With that, he brushed past you, grabbed a sweater from the bedroom and threw it on before storming out of the apartment, leaving you and the now cold takeout food alone.

Tears in your eyes and a lump in your throat, you turned to look over your shoulder at the decision letter sitting on the counter, practically taunting you.

You should have thrown the thing out the second your mom dropped it off. Or better yet, maybe you should have never made that deal with Keishin and applied for the university in the first place.

[sweetestlamb]

Bring Me To Life

Summary: Kang Sujin has never had anyone to turn to, hiding behind a façade her entire life. Someone begins to peek behind the mask. 

Author’s note: My two favorite characters in TB are Seojun and Sujin, both characters who are honestly treated like trash by the writers. I cannot begin to tell how upsetting it was to see Sujin’s character assassination or how painful it is to watch her being physically abused knowing that the writers will not give her therapy or a true happy ending. She’s just here to be beaten and vilified. Seojun, I won’t even rant everyone knows what the problem is (idk who told them we wanted to see Start-Up the high school edition.) So I wrote this after watching the most recent episode and hating most of it for these reasons. I don’t know how far it’ll go or how often I can update, but I need my two babies to have a happy ending preferably together because the visuals are just a dreammmm. 

The rain crashes down loudly from aggrieved storm clouds bellowing above her in the sky, the chilled condensation plastering her thin satin pajamas to her trembling body. She had to get out, the pain in her cheek numbing and electrifying all at once.

How dare she tell him that she didn't want to get married, want to stand on her own two feet without a man giving her value?

His hand had flown across the room before she could sidestep the blow, the fragile glass filled with water in her hand- the very reason she'd left her room in the dead of night- shattering into jagged pieces as it collided with a greater force. Just like her.

She hadn't been trying to eavesdrop but it was hard not to hear him chuckling deeply on the phone, offering up his only child like she was an item on a menu.

"Yes we should set them up. It seems Suho isn't interested and she should marry young, that's when women are worth the most."

Nausea rolled like waves in the pits of her stomach and before she could think logically, her feet were sprinting into the living room, air barely filling her lungs as she stared at the man she'd never once thought of as a father. The last time she'd made the grave mistake of calling him daddy he'd smacked her so hard that was how she lost her first tooth. He'd been father ever since or Mr. Kang. She tried her best to avoid him at all cost, she would never be good enough and it was getting harder to hide the marks he left behind.

It was difficult to remember clearly what occurred seconds after her refusal to marry a man she didn't know left her lips, his fist connected and she was knocked back onto their coffee table the sharp edge cutting at her cheek. As she looked at him, anger painting his face a demonic red, fear crippled her and her hands twitched desperately wanting to wash them raw. Then he grabbed a thick marble ashtray from the table and her instincts took over and she was out the door, running as fast as she could, knowing her life was at stake and she couldn't afford to stop.

When the cloud in her head cleared that was when she found herself at the bus stop.

Judgmental whispers breeze by her ears as people passed by with umbrellas, shocked to see the young girl crying in her pajamas at the stop, but none stopped to offer her help or inquire about her situation, happy just to pass judgement. She ignores them all, panicking racing through her blood until she's unable to breathe, choking on nothing as she twitches in the harsh air. Her throat constricts as she screams at herself, breathe. 

Breathe.

BREATHE! 

But it's useless as her body shuts down, forgetting how to do the basic function, she sways as she starts to feel light headed from the lack of oxygen and with a final wheeze she collapses. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He signs as he weaves past cars moving far too slowly, adrenaline rushing through his veins as he marginally misses nipping a car to the left of him, easily dragging his motorcycle away with the fluid movements of his body. He glares up at the sky before cursing, "Fucking weather report didn't say anything about a sudden rainstorm." If he'd known he would have stayed home, always hating the rain. It brought back bad memories.

Halting at a red light, he puts his leg down for balance bouncing slightly in place. Pulling the shield up on his helmet he glances around, recognizing the area easily, before something in his peripheral catches his attention, a lump on the ground. Tilting his head he revs his trusty iron steed to live, riding over to the direction of the mysterious mass on the wet ground. As he gets closer his heart falters, it's too evident now. 

It's a person.

Jumping off his bike and pushing out the kickstand he flings his helmet off, his hair immediately drenched under the downpour as he races over to help. As he nears the figure, it becomes clearer it's a woman wearing what looks like sleep clothes. Momentarily he wonders if this is a crazy person and if he should just mind his business but a frightening image of his little sister unconscious on the ground and no one coming to her aid flashes in his mind.

"I'll just check if she's breathing and call an ambulance. That's all, if she tries to attack me I'll just ride away." He takes a deep breath, collecting his courage before closing the gap between him and the unconscious woman.

Crouching beside her, he reaches out a hand hesitating before sighing and shaking at her cold shoulder. No response. He shakes harder now, watching the motion quake through her entire body, but still she is unresponsive.

"Hey! Hey! Are you okay? Wake up, you're scaring me!" He starts to jiggle her with both hands, before he crawls into her space not caring about his safety any longer, the idea that this unknown woman might be dead is making him nauseous. People are always dying without his permission. It's so frustrating.

"Wake up! Come on!" He shouts at the figure now holding both her shoulders and turning the woman over, lifting her face from its place on the ground, cradling her limp body in his lap. After two more vicious shakes, she starts to cough and groan in his arms. Relief swims through his veins as he watches her come back to life, anxiously watching as her dewy long lashes flutter open and he's caught in a lifeless deep gaze.

"Han Seo-Jun?"

It takes a long pause for him to register that the woman has said his name and then a longer moment to recognize who she is.

"Kang Su-Jin?" He replies in genuine shock, taking in the wom--young girl in his arms. She's shivering so violently that it's becoming difficult to hold onto her, vibrating out of his hold before he grips her tighter, whipping off his jacket without second thought and wrapping it around her. Goosebumps raising on his skin as his body mentally berates his lack of survival skills.

"What are you doing here?" She looks at him bewildered as if the stranger occurrence is his presence and not her own.

He squints his eyes looking back at her, "I could ask you the same thing. I found you unconscious here. I thought you were...." He trails off unable to utter the rest of his sentence.

"You should have left me here. Maybe I would have. If I was that lucky."

"What? Are you crazy, you want to die? Did you do this to yourself, what are you on?!" He roars at her, rage flooding his system as he shouts at the stupid girl, how dare she try to kill herself and leave her body for him to find? He wishes he had taken a different route, that he'd never come across her. He was in no state to comfort someone who was suicidal, still too raw and hurt. What was so hard about living that made people want to do that? Hot tears gather in his eyes as he abruptly pulls away from Sujin, unapologetic as she tumbles to the ground without his support.

She starts at him, stunned before righteous fury twists her features and she roars back at him.

"Who are you to judge me! I didn't ask you to help me, leave me alone!"

He glares back at her ready to yank his jacket away and run away from her but a small movement stops him, as she's screaming at him a small muscle twitches in her cheek bringing his attention to said cheek. It's nearly purple, standing out obscenely on her pale skin and then he notices the split lip and the bruises on her neck and he's so ashamed of himself he could bawl.

He deflates before speaking to her, "What happened to your face? Who did this to you?"

He doesn't know what kind of look he has on his face but before his questions can even settle between them she's sneering and twisting away from him, throwing his jacket on the ground before making her escape. Unprepared for her sudden departure he reacts too late, before chasing after her. It's easy to close the distance separating them with his long legs and within seconds she's merely inches in front of him, he reaches out a large hand to grab her wrist but hesitates recalling the bruises littering her frame. Instead he races past her, blocking her with his body swerving to the left and then the right when she tries to dodge him. They play this cat and mouse game before she finally gives up, glaring up at him with moist enraged eyes.

"Why do you care? We aren't even friends!"

Her piercing shout rings in his ears as he looks down at her passively. He can't answer that question, doesn't know what brought him to this area so late and not understanding why he was the one to find her in this condition. He doesn't know why he cares. But maybe things could have been different if Se-Yeon had someone to chase him. Maybe he'd still be alive...

So he answers her honestly.

"I don't want anymore people to die."

To his complete shock she starts to cry, tears falling rapidly from her eyes before she crumples to the ground, the rain pounding on her head and he stands still unsure of what to do before he drapes the jacket he'd rescued from the ground over her head, shielding her from most of the thunderous downpour. When she looks up to see the jacket protecting her, he almost falls backwards as her head slams into his chest, her tears simmering hot on his chilled body. It's almost painfully uncomfortable but he doesn't move away. Letting her cry on his chest, his shirt is soaked anyway this makes no difference.

He doesn't know how long they are crouched there on the ground, so dark that the sidewalk is completely devoid of anyone else, it feels like they are the only two people left on Earth.

"If we stay here you're going to get a cold."

He voices his concern but the only reply he receives is a gross sounding sniffle and he grimaces, knowing that his poor shirt is probably damaged beyond repair covered in snot and tears.

Sighing he starts to repeat himself before she whispers, "I don't have anywhere to go."

"I can take you home." Her fists tighten in his drenched shirt, he can practically feel the fear wafting off her, he'd assumed the marks on her face were from a possessive unhinged boyfriend but her reaction makes him uneasy. He tries to push those unpleasant thoughts to the corner.

"What about your friends? Why don't you call Su-ah or Ju-Kyung, I’m sure they’ll help you.” 

She stiffens in his arms before shaking her head in decline.

"No. I can't let anyone else see me like this. I don't need them looking at me the way you did, like I'm a sad pitiful puppy. I never want anyone look at me like that again."

He can respect that, he never wants to appear weak in front of others. It was easier to become angry and lash out rather than showing your true heart, nobody could hurt you that way.

"Then what? Where do you want to go?"

"I have nowhere to go. I'll stay here until morning. I'll be fine, you can go."

He looks at her dumbfounded, what kind of man would leave a battered woman alone in the rain? He wasn't raised by animals, damn it.

"Let's go." He makes a point not to touch her, their only point of connection are her hands twisted in his shirt.

"What?"

He bulldozes past her confusion, looking at her with what he hopes are comforting eyes.

"I'm taking you to my house. I can't just leave you here."

"Are you crazy? Don't you live with your mother and sister, what will they say?"

He winces at the logical inquiry, he had already considered that himself, thinking of his mother's subsequent smacks and his sister's teasing once they learned what he'd done but still deciding that he has no other choice. He can't just leave her here.

He shrugs, "That's my problem to worry about. I'm not leaving you here, I'd really like to get out of his rain. Let's go." He repeats himself harder, pleading with her.

She looks away and he's prepared to throw her over his shoulders and face the consequences when he hears her response, "Okay. Let's go."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It's a quiet ride back, the engine rumbling through the aching bones of her frozen body. Han Seojun. The last person she ever expected to see after being roused from her panic induced collapse. Her arms tighten around his thin waist as he swerves around a car, adrenaline and fear battling for dominance in her body. When her fingers accidentally brush across wet bare skin she quickly moves her hands higher, fighting the embarrassment that washes over her.

If he notices she can't hear his reaction over the roar of the motorcycle.

When they finally pull up to a small apartment, she loosens her hold on him cracking her frozen digits.

"You didn't need to hold that tightly, I wasn't going to let anything happen to you. I ride this everyday you know."

She doesn't reply focusing on getting off the bike, swinging her leg over and hopping off not graceful but effective, a small proud smile spreads on her face before she gazes back at him.

He stares back before shaking his head, as if lost in a daze before he stomps off for her to follow.

Wordlessly she trails behind him, feeling foolish in her duck pajamas, a gift from Su-ah.

When he pushes his front door open, letting her in first she steps out of her sopping wet house slippers standing awkwardly looking around.

"Stay here. I'll get towels so we don't trail too much water."

She nods at his command, gazing at the floor and seeing how much water is already pooling around her feet.

"Here." He hands her a fluffy pink towel, she raises an eyebrow at the color.

"It's the guest towel. I wouldn't give you my towel."

That makes sense, sharing towels is far too intimate for the relationship they have. That being none. 

She rapidly towels at her hair, before running the towel down her body and wrapping it around her waist.

"You can use the bathroom. It's the second door on the right. I'll bring you dry clothes."

She steps cross the doorway, finally entering his home. Before she turns back to him staring directly into his eyes, "Than.... You didn't have to do this." She loses her confidence but his answering smirk lets her know he understood enough, with that she walks to the bathroom locking herself inside.

The sight of her bruised face in the mirror makes her pause, reaching up to finger at the stark purple mark on her cheek. She's crying before she can control her emotions, tears dripping into the sink as she remembers her night, how close she was to the end despite what she said to Seojun she wanted to live. As her father stood above her ready to snuff her out like a mere nuisance in his life, she realized with a burning passion how desperately she wanted to live.

A soft knock drags her back to reality as she rapidly wipes her tears away.

"I'm leaving clothes by the door. You can come out whenever you're ready. I'm making tea."

When she hears the light steps of his feet moving away from the door she opens the door a crack, picking up the neatly folded pile of clothes. Sending the boy a mental thank you before closing the door quietly.

It's clear that these clothes belong to Seojun, draping off her body, too large for her frame, a black T-shirt with a microphone on the center and sweatpants that cover her feet as well, he'd even remembered to bring her socks. Instantly she feels her body warming as her body temperature returns to normal. 

Folding her wet clothes and splashing water on her face then using the towel to rub it dry, she exits the bathroom walking towards the light she sees assuming that's the kitchen.

"The water's almost done boiling. Sit down."

His deep voice greets her as she follows his orders and takes a seat.

"Are these your clothes?"

"What? Oh yeah they're mine, sorry my sister locked her door. They're very old though, I haven't worn them in years I thought they would fit you better." He eyes her as he says the last sentence, "I guess it didn't make much of a difference I'm just too tall and manly for my own good."

She scoffs at his narcissistic comment rolling her eyes "Tall and manly my foot. You're so skinny I could probably pick you up with one arm."

He immediately turns at her comment, affronted look on his face, "Shut up! It's hard for me to put on weight, I'm not that skinny."

He places his hands on his hips, looking down at himself before puffing his chest out to make himself appear broader, it's so ridiculous that she can't control her reaction.

Sudden uncontrollable laughter.

She laughs breathlessly, folding onto her lap trying to contain her giggles but his scandalized look makes her laugh harder and she has to stuff her face in her elbow to prevent herself from waking his family.

After a few minutes of random spasms of laughter she finally peers back up at him.

He looks just like he did outside when she'd smiled after successively getting off his motorcycle.

"What? What are you looking at?"

"Nothing. I just never see you smile at school."

"Well you never do anything worth smiling about." She quips back, wondering if she'd gone too far but he doesn't reply beyond a slight smile that's gone too fast to even be titled that, he places her steaming cup of tea before her sipping at his own after blowing on it.

They drink in comfortable silence.

She's the first to rapture the silence, "I don't need pity."

"I don't pity yo--"

"But thank you. Thank you for stopping. Thank you for this, thank you."

He stares wordlessly before nodding, a slight blush on his cheeks before he hides his face in the cup of tea. She doesn't bring attention to it.

"You can sleep in my room. It's the door next to the bathroom."

Humming she looks up, fatigue hitting her like a brick at the mention of sleeping.

"Where will you sleep?"

"I have a perfectly good couch, don't argue you're sleeping in my room. That's final. It's better that my mother doesn't see a strange woman on the couch when she wakes up."

Well, she can't argue with that logic.

"Okay." Drinking the last of the soothing beverage, she stands up walking over to place the cup in the sink.

"Good night." She starts to walk back in the direction of the bathroom, seeing another door next to it. Seojun's room. Twisting the doorknob she pushes it open, before she hears his voice from behind her.

"If you need anything I'm right outside."

Blinking her tears away, she nods without looking back, too vulnerable with his palpable concern.

When she lays her head down on his pillow, his scent fills her senses and she falls into a deep restless slumber feeling safer than she has in long time.

Tomorrow will be horrible.

But tonight, she will allow herself to breath easy knowing that someone is on her side.

[golbrocklovely]

Im just gonna say it, her post was weird. There are other ways to “show” people you too hurt. But even more than that, no one is expecting her to show that nor is anyone under the assumption that she doesnt. I’ve lost loved ones too but i dont think that should be the means to be able to give an opinion on stuff like this. Not everything is meant to me content and just the thought of posting your phone against your sink,pressing record while you look into the mirror and cry is weird as fuck, then what you play it back? It doesnt seem genuine. Obviously you’re going to hurt when loosing a parent i just don’t get the point in having to prove that you do and in that particular way. Like that other person said, posting that then posting a video of the lip-synching while also realizing that the day she filmed herself crying was the day she was dancing in Mitch’s basement has got me scratching my head.

My opinion doesnt change anything but thats just how i feel, not everything has to be proven, not everything is meant to be “content”, and not everything needs to be posted to be genuine. It reminds me of these fake apology videos where they record themselves crying and forcing the tears out, no one needs to see that to know youre sorry. Everything is for attention now a days.

i agree it's weird, but i also don't really care that she did it either. and while there are ways to show that you're hurt, if that's how she wanted to do it, there's nothing wrong with that in my book.

wanting attention isn't a bad thing. we all want attention. it's what you do to get the attention that can be negative or positive. her crying in her bathroom and then posting the video with a sad song and caption isn't hurting anyone or herself, so there's nothing wrong with it. i personally wouldn't do it, but clearly she didn't mind showing that side of herself.

and there definitely is a strange performance side to it, since you have to start the video, cry, stop it at some point, and then pick a song and write a caption. but if that helps her feel better, then i don't think it's bad. it's weird, i won't deny that. i don't think it comes across as completely disingenuous, since clearly she does miss her father a lot. you can look at any of her social media and see that.

there is a difference between what she did and what someone in an apology video does.

when a person in an apology video cries, best case scenario, is they realized they fucked up and are legitimately sorry about it so that's why they're emotional. but most ppl who cry in apology videos aren't doing it for that reason. they cry so ppl won't be harsh towards them, so that when their fans watch the video they can leave comments like "see, they didn't mean to say the n word 60 times in one second! that was two months ago, they're a changed person. look how upset they are at their past actions!" they want sympathy. they want the ppl they hurt to not be as hurt anymore bc "look i'm crying too which means i'm in pain". or, some probably cry bc they realize how much trouble (and money) this is gonna cost them.

stas is crying bc she's mourning the loss of her father. if you want to argue she's trying to get sympathy too, sure, i guess so. but it's not the same as someone trying not to be judged as harshly or called out for their wrongdoings. she's not crying to get sympathy bc of a fuck-up she did. she didn't do anything wrong. she's just expressing her emotions.

is it weird? sure. is it wrong? no, i don't think so.

[closedmadness]

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊

summary: jughead always chose betty over you despite being best friends with you much longer. you made an effort, did everything for him, gave him your everything. but still, it wasn’t enough. you wanted him to choose you, but he never did; your first love ended in a painful heartbreak — and as if the universe is giving you another chance, you met a new boy with raven hair and a serpent tattoo on his neck

pairings: jughead jones x male reader, sweet pea x male reader

warnings → angst・fucking angst・suicide attempt・shitty mother・verbal abuse・self-harm・swearing・alcohol・maybe a little tiniest bit of a fluff (idk there might be none)・sweet pea being a sweetie

a/n: part two is up!!

veronica, kevin and archie looked at you in pity and sadness as you watched betty and jughead chatting together across the room. it was cheryl’s party and each people were spending their night joyful, jamming along the blasting music that played in the background, the only person who didn’t seem to be enjoying this night was you.

you can’t when you’re watching the love of your life gaze lovingly at the love of his life.

the three of your friends were well aware of your feelings for the beanie-wearing boy and always tried to convince you to confess to him, but you always resisted. it was no point in confessing to him when his heart is already taken by the blonde beauty.

“(y/n/n)... don’t stare at them, you’re only going to hurt yourself.” veronica told you softly, placing her hand above yours. “i can’t watch you be so sad over them anymore.” she said with a sad look on her face.

you turned towards her and covered your aching heart. “i’m not sad over them, ronnie. why would i be? jughead is in love with betty and he’s happy being in love.” you smiled, but it came out forced.

veronica sighed, shaking her head. kevin placed his hand on your shoulder, “(y/n), everyone can see the way you look at them. the only people who doesn’t see it are betty and jughead.” you just shrugged at him in return and looked down at the alcohol you were holding.

Betty and Jughead weren’t together, but they were in love with each other. Everyone can see it and even when it was painful for you, you saw it too. Their eyes literally lights up when the others entered the room, they make googly love eyes towards each other, and Jughead literally does everything for Betty.

Meanwhile, everyone sees the way you gaze after him longingly. Veronica, Archie and Kevin were always the witness of you doing everything for Jughead despite being unappreciated. They saw how you helped Jughead dress up for Betty, how you gave him advices to impress her, how you always asked him to hang out with you only to get rejected because he was going to hang out with Betty. They witnessed every moment of your heartbreak; it hurts them how you care selflessly for Jughead but he doesn't see it.

“(Y/n), you gotta stop this.” Archie said softly, trying to talk some sense into you. “You're just killing yourself. You try to impress him, hang out with him, help him with everything, but he doesn't even give you any attention, yet you're still trying.”

“Why do you still try?” Kevin was next to ask, his tone as soft as Archie's.

You sighed, licking your lips and avoiding eye contact with them. “I guess there's just still a part of me that hopes he will notice me someday. That he will choose me. All these efforts, this– this sacrifices? I'm only doing it because I have a hope that he will.” You looked up from the floor to them and was met with three disapproving looks.

“(Y/n/n)...” Veronica starts, her voice soft as well, but had a firm tone in it. “How much do you have to get hurt for you to finally realize that he won't notice you?”

It was harsh, but true. That is the reality and Veronica is just trying to snap you out of your stupidity. But you can't. You loved Jughead too much, it was almost impossible for you to let go of him. You couldn't give up — he was your long time crush, probably since middle school. Everything about him made you love him even more, and even when there wasn't a day he didn't gawk at Betty, you still believe that there's a chance for you.

You were blinded by your love for him. Everyone could tell and they had to witness every time how you destroy yourself by trying to get Jughead to notice you. It was killing them, but they knew it killed you more than it did to them.

“(Y/n), don't you not remember the day he turned you down to hang out with Betty?” Kevin asked.

You approached Jughead who was sitting alone on the corner of the cafeteria, hiding two movie tickets in your pocket, excitement radiating off of you. “Hey, Jug!” You greeted him cheerfully, sitting down beside him and slinging your arm around his shoulder.

“Hey, (Y/n).” He greeted you back, not even glancing up at you as he typed on his laptop about a new novel he was writing.

You brushed it off as a usual thing to happen, since Jughead often ignored people when he was writing his new novel. “So, Jug. I was thinking movie night today. How do you feel about it?” You said with joy.

However, Jughead didn't seem to be interested as he continued to type away on his laptop. “Uh, I can't. I have to finish this.” He rejected, eyes buried on the screen.

You frowned. It's been quite long since you two hang out and Jughead never rejected a offer to watch a movie. “But you can finish it anyday.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “I can't. Sorry.” Clearly, his apology wasn't genuine by the tone in his voice. Your frown deepened, but didn't say anything and just stood up to walk away from him.

Later that night, you asked Kevin to watch a movie with you instead because you didn't want to waste the ticket. It was pretty expensive, considering you wanted to impress Jughead, and the fact that you didn't get to watch it with him made you sulk slightly. Kevin was there to cheer you up, though. The two of you were going to head over at Pop's when Kevin abruptly stopped after seeing something behind the glass windows of the diner.

He caught your arm before you could go close to the diner and pointed at the two people inside. “Isn't that...?” He trailed off and your eyes went to search for what he was talking about, then saw Jughead with Betty on one of the booth, smiling at each other.

You felt your heart ache as soon as they filled your vision. “He- he told me he have to finish his novel today...”

Kevin frowned. “And he went to hang out with Betty? What the hell?”

You took a deep breath after the flashback ended, looking at Kevin slowly. “I remember it, Kev. But still...” You looked down again.

Veronica sighed, “Do you also remember when you had a family problem? And he didn't even want to listen?” A frown appeared on your lips at that.

He didn't want to listen, and he said it was because others have problems too and that he can't help you. But after that, he went on helping Betty with her problems and Veronica had to comfort you the whole night for two reasons; one because of your shitty mother and two because Jughead was being unfair. However, even after that, you went back to doing everything for him being the little love-blind person that you are. That was the exact day when Veronica realized how much you love Jughead, and how much he was wasting you.

You drink the alcohol from the plastic cup, trying hard to erase the memory from your mind.

Everything you did for Jughead was because you love him, and you were starting to wonder why he hasn’t look at you yet. Whenever he needed you, you were there. But when you needed him, he was nowhere to be seen and is hanging out with Betty. In all honesty, it’s getting exhausting — hoping endlessly for him to notice you, doing everything to help him with his problems, giving him your everything, you were willing to give him everything.

Yet here you are, still alone and broken.

He doesn’t even look at you. He’s just too focused on Betty that you were sure he doesn’t care about you anymore. The destiny was being cruel; preventing you from being with the boy you love and instead giving him someone to love, so he wouldn’t dare end up with you.

It hurts. It damn hurts. And you don’t understand why you’re still in love with him and is willing to give him everything despite knowing he wouldn’t give you back what you gave him, specially his heart. He would be giving his heart to Betty and not to you, even after all your efforts and sacrifices.

“I just want him to love me back.” You muttered quietly, watching as Betty and Jughead stared lovingly into each other’s eyes.

It was too quiet, but your three friends managed to hear it. They heard it. Your wish, your desperate wish. And there was nothing they can do but to look down, knowing whatever words they say to comfort you won’t change Jughead’s feelings for Betty.

And deep down, you knew that fact even when it felt like someone stabbed your heart with a knife repeatedly.

“You little shit!” Your mother shouts, hitting you across the face.

Your cheek stings at where she slapped you, but you barely flinched at her sudden outburst and just stood there facing the floor. “This is the only score you’ve got? 92 out of 100? What kind of shit is this!?” She yelled angrily, crumpling your test result. “I’m paying for your education, (Y/n), and this is how you repay me? By getting a half assed score when it could have been a perfect 100!?”

She was totally furious about a fucking test result. Ridiculous, really. This started happening when your father left after he couldn’t deal with your mother’s drug addict behavior. He was a southside serpent and surely he could’ve handled her, but he chose to leave instead. Without even trying to take you with him.

It’s funny how cruel this world can be to you.

“I’m sorry, I will do better next time.” You apologized, still not meeting her gaze. It is easy for you to hit her and fight back, but you didn’t because she’s your mother. You still respected her in any way.

She scoffed, “Next time? I can’t even count how many times you told me you’ll be better next time, but came back with a fucking shitty result.” She spat with distaste in her tone.

You frowned, scrunching your eyebrows together and looked up at her. “Why do you hate me so much? I’m your son.”

“You’re not my son.” She snapped, making you flinch at how harsh her words are. “You were just an accident. You understand that? A fucking accident between me and your father that we never planned to happen. The worst part is, you grew up looking like your father. That face reminds me of him and makes me wish I never had you.” The pure hatred in her face was enough to make you believe her.

You swallowed, feeling tears welling up in your eyes and looked down, trying to hide it from her.

“What, are you gonna cry?” She said mockingly. “Of course. You’re gonna cry like a little cry baby that you always were. A pathetic, weak piece of shit that I’m absolutely ashamed to call my son.” She grabbed the jingle jangle on the table and glared at you like you were the worst thing that ever happened to your life. “I never wanted you, and never will.” With that, she walked out of the house to be a drug addict that she always was.

After she was gone from the house, you broke into tears and finally let them stream down your face, falling on your knees as your face twisted in complete pain and anguish.

Everything hurt; your heart, your chest, your whole body. It’s like the emotional and mental pain shifted into physical pain even when you weren’t being abused physically. The feeling of worthlessness appearing in both your heart and mind, as well as emptiness, sadness, pain and anguish.

Your cries were the cries of help, desperately wanting someone to show up and stop your pain for the better. But life wasn’t that easy. There was no one to stop it; not even Jughead, who used to always be with you and cared for you deeply.

Now, he was gone. He don’t care about you anymore. All he cares about was Betty and Betty only.

Tears continued to run down your cheeks, soaking your shirt as you sobbed violently, unable to contain yourself. “W-why...?” The void question came out from your lips between sobs, asking the universe why they were being cruel to you.

Though, it’s not like the universe or destiny will answer you.

It feels like you were being killed from the inside, like all the pain you experienced in your life are molding together and attacking you all at once. Everything hurt, and you were exhausted mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You just want to be happy and be with the love of your life. That was enough. That is enough. But then, life doesn’t let you be happy even for once.

You stumbled towards the bathroom, feeling the urge to hurt yourself to deal with the emotional pain. Opening the cabinet, you saw few blades laying there and took it out, setting it down on the sink.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and witnessed how much of a mess you are right now. Your eyes red and puffy from crying, tears were still streaming down your cheeks that had a red mark because of your mother’s slap, the look in your face practically screaming exhaustion. Your hair was a mess from you constantly running your hands through them while you were crying in the living room.

Your gaze returned to the blazes above the sink and takes it without even hesitating, moving up the sleeves to reveal your arms that was littered with scars of different sizes. Some were small, some were big, some were deep, some were not, but they were all old scars. Self-harm scars. You brought the blade down to your left wrist, beginning to run the blade slowly, watching as it cut through your skin and causing blood to come out. A relieved sigh leaves your lips — self-harming was never been a healthy way to deal with problems, but it made you relieved every time you do it. You feel like the emotional pain was leaving your body through the cuts that you made. There wasn’t any physical pain, but you were sure it will sting when you take a shower.

By the time you were satisfied, there were many cuts covering both of your wrists. Blood oozed out from the cuts that you found satisfying. If your mother was a drug addict, then maybe you’re a self-harm addict. This was your only way of escaping the pain.

You washed the blood away with water while ignoring the stinging pain it gave you before moving back to the living room and grabbing your phone, immediately entering your room afterwards. The tears already stopped by now thankfully.

You laid on the bed and unlocked your phone, only for it to ring right after. It was Jughead and a dark feeling spreads in your chest when you read his name on your phone screen, almost like something was going to go wrong if you answered it. Nonetheless, you pressed the answer button just in case it was emergency — a decision that you will regret sooner.

“(Y/n)!” Jughead’s excited voice called from the other line, making you smile.

“Hey, Jug.” You cleared your throat to regain control of your voice as it came out hoarse. “What’s up? Why do you sound excited?” You asked curiously.

There was a chuckle of joy before he spoke, “Guess what? I asked Betty if she will be my girlfriend and she said yes!”

You froze. Mind unable to process what he said as you stared at the ceiling blankly. In that moment, you heard your heart shatter in million pieces. The pain wasn’t even an ache anymore; it was more than that. His announcement just destroyed your heart completely.

Why is this happening to me? You thought, feeling the tears well up in your eyes again. It was surprising, really. With the amount of tears you cried earlier, you didn’t know there was still tears left to cry.

“(Y/n)? You there?” Jughead’s worried voice snapped you out of your misery.

You breathe out, “Yeah... yeah, I am. Lucky for you, Jug. Congratulations.” You swallowed as you felt like suffocating. “Uh... I’m sorry, I have to go.” The call ended as soon as you said that, not giving him any time to argue or protest.

Without a second thought, you grabbed your jacket and stormed out of the house, leaving your phone behind.

Maybe you were foolish.

Maybe you were an idiot to believe he would look at you the same way he looked at Betty if you tried enough.

Maybe... you were stupid for giving your everything to him until you were left with none. That’s exactly the reason why you felt empty right now anyway.

It was totally your fault. Veronica, Archie and Kevin warned you, told you to give up, but you didn’t. It was your fault. Everything just hurts and now you were sure Betty is the only one who has Jughead’s heart. There was nothing you can do about it.

Accept it, idiot. You thought to yourself.

Standing above the bridge that divided the Southside and the Northside, you looked at the river below. It was beautiful at night, the sound of water calming you. No one was in sight, which was pretty dangerous in your situation.

I could just jump and never come back. You thought as you looked at the river and leaned on the railings.

It will be easy. You just need to jump and drown. That way, you could finally end your miserable life. This excrusiating pain will stop for the better and you will be free from your drug addict mother. Everything will be okay if you just jumped. Your friends might be sad after your death, but they will get over it quickly. Veronica has Archie, Archie has Veronica, Kevin has Joaquin, Jughead has Betty. They will be okay.

You jumped slightly to sit on the railings and turned to the river, still contemplating your life. Nothing was good in it anyway.

Your mother was a drug addict who didn’t want you in her life, who never wanted you.

Your father left you long ago.

Jughead didn’t care about you but Betty.

Your three friends? They have each other.

Nothing will change even if you jump. There will be nothing to regret. It’s just an easy task.

“What are you doing here?” A deep voice suddenly asked, causing you to jump slightly startled. He chuckled at your reaction.

You glanced at him and turned back to the river, far away look in your eyes. “Contemplating my life.”

Panic flashed in the raven haired boy's expression, “Woah, woah, woah. Get away from there.” He ushered and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you away from the railings easily before spinning you around to face him. “What the hell are you really doing?”

You looked up, annoyed that he even thought he had the right to stop you, and widened your eyes when you came across a handsome face that you’ve never seen in your neighbourhood. “Oh, uhm...” You struggled to say it out loud, pushing yourself off of him upon noticing the close distance. “I was just admiring the river.”

He raised his brows; even though you were hiding it well, he could still see that you're lying. Definitely wasn't just admiring the river. “Well, you looked like you were about to jump. Is everything good?”

You sighed, going back to lean on the railings again and he quickly went beside you. “Everything is a mess.” You answered, having a far away look once again.

“Care to elaborate?” He asked and stared at your face. It was dark, but he could still make out the shape of your face and notice how good-looking you are.

“Well, a short summary of my life — my mom and dad had sex and accidentally had me. Mom became a drug addict, dad tried to be patient for her but eventually gave up and left. He didn't want to deal with her anymore and instead left me to deal with her.” A bitter chuckle left your lips. “Growing up, mom continued to verbally abuse me because she couldn't stand the thought of dad leaving us. So, I turned to my friends. Then, I fell in love with my best friend since middle school. I was blinded by my love for him and did everything for him when I clearly knew he's in love with a girl, hoping that one day he'll love me back. And an hour ago, he called to tell me he and the love of his life are now together, so there's that.” You shrugged trying to act nonchalant.

His face dropped at your story, almost as if feeling the pain you've gone through everyday. He knew you were trying not to cry by how your shoulders trembled, your lips pursed in a thin line to keep any sound from coming out. “Let it out.” He said, his hand going over to pat your back.

You shook your head, “I- I can't. I don't- I don't want to be weak.”

His brows furrowed. Who the hell teaches their child crying means weak? “Hey, crying doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong. Bottling those things up will only makes things worst, so you have to let it all out to make you feel better. Cry as many times as you want, I don't care.”

Those words were enough for the tears to come out as you let out a sob, breaking down for the second time this day in front of a boy that you don't even know.

However, he don't seem to mind as he patted your back gently and shift his body closer to you to give you comfort. He didn't get too close that you'll feel unconfortable, but maintained a slight distance from you. You cried like that for a while, letting out all your pain.

“Uh, thanks.” You said after your break down finished. “Your presence comforted me a lot.”

He flashed you a smile, “No problem. The name's Sweet Pea.” He said and extended his hand.

You raised your brows, a smirk of amusement appearing on your face. “That's a strangely cute name. I'm (Y/n) (L/n).”

“Yeah, don't mention it.” He says, shaking his head and you chuckled.

“Hey, don't be embarrassed. I like your name.”

“I like your name better.” He smirked. “So, what are you going to do now?”

You sighed heavily. “Nothing. I’m just gonna try to be happy for them. And if you’re asking about my mother, I don’t know. I just don’t want to go home yet.” You said and wrapped your arms around yourself in a comforting manner.

He hummed, “You wanna come to my place? I can let you stay in.”

Your brows raised in surprise as you looked at him, expecting him to be joking. “Are you serious? You shouldn’t be asking a stranger to come to your place. And I’m a northsider.”

He rolled his eyes, “I can’t let you go home when I know you have a shitty mother even when you’re a northsider.”

A smile slowly appeared on your lips and a look of gratitude flashed on your face. “Thank you, Sweet Pea. I appreciate it.” He smirked and nodded his head, before gesturing for you to follow him and you obliged as you didn’t see any reason to reject his offer.

Sweet Pea seems like a tough guy, but he’s a kind person. You knew that the moment he stopped you from jumping that bridge knowing you’re a northsider. A lot of people in the southside didn’t like northsiders, because they’re just a bunch of jocks who judges a person without getting to know them.

Looking at the southside serpents jacket he wore, you strangely felt safer than usual. You didn’t know whether it’s because he’s with you or the fact that you’re in the southside territory. There was something about this place that you couldn’t help but feel like home more than your own house.

The two of you reached a trailer and he twisted the doorknob, already knowing his door is unlocked. “You don’t lock your door?” You asked out of the blue.

He chuckles, “I do. My friends are here.” You just nodded quietly at his response. He opened the door and you could hear his friends laughing from inside the trailer as you both entered, the laughter stopping as soon as they realized you and Sweet Pea were in.

There were two of them — a girl with a pink hair and a boy with a flannel. Curiosity appeared on their faces upon seeing your presence, though they knew you’re not from the southside after seeing the ‘RH’ on your jacket — you weren’t a Bulldog, but you had a jacket that had the Riverdale High patch.

“Was taking a walk and saw him contemplating his life. He’s gonna stay here for tonight.” Sweet Pea informed them casually, going over to the kitchen to get for something to drink.

Their eyes widened as they looked at you, before scrumbling to get up. “You, uh... you okay?” The boy wearing a flannel asked.

You nods, “Yeah, uhm, I’m not really right now. But I think I will be.” You smiled in reassurance.

“Wait, hold on.” The pink haired girl said as she caught the sight of your red cheek. “What happened to your face?” She asked, pointing at it. You winced when her finger touched and she quickly pulled it away.

Sweet Pea came back with a beer and a first aid kit, sitting down on the couch. He noticed the redness of your cheek way back then and knew something probably happened that you didn’t tell him.

“C’mon, Sweets will treat it.” Fangs said, grabbing your wrist in the process and you hissed in pain as his hand gripped where you self-harmed earlier. He let go instantly and looked at you with wide, confused eyes.

You cleared your throat, gently holding your wrist with the other hand. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” You tried brushing it away, but Sweet Pea didn’t let it slip.

He walked towards you and gently grabbed your hand as he looked at you silently asking for permission. You don’t want him to see your scars, but for some reason, you didn’t pry away his hands or shoved him away. You just looked down at the floor, unable to keep your eye contact with him. He took that as a permission to roll up your sleeve and once he did, a gasp came out form Fangs and Toni while Sweet Pea froze in shock seeing the many scars littered on your wrist.

“(Y/n), what the fuck?” He muttered in devastation.

He can’t imagine what you’ve gone through that you got to the point to harming yourself. The scars were new, but there were some that seemed old that made him realize you’ve been suffering for long until now. The fact that no one didn’t even try to help you or notice the state you were in broke his heart. However, he knew you were more broken than he could ever be, so he didn’t dare ask why you did it.

He just pulled you towards the couch as Fangs and Toni guided you by placing one of their hands on your back. You sat on the couch, letting Sweet Pea start with his mission to treat your swollen cheek and the many lines of scars on your wrist.

They don’t know you, nor the life you had in the northside, but they didn’t have to hear your entire life story to know it was an awful one. If it wasn’t awful, you wouldn’t have any self-harm scars or wouldn’t even try to jump from a bridge.

“You don’t really have to do this, Sweet Pea.” You said after a while of silence.

“He has to.” Toni spoke for him as he dabbed the cotton pads on the alcohol.

“Yeah, you might get infection if your wrist isn’t bondaged.” Fangs chimed in.

You shrugged, “I don’t really think so. If I showed up to school with a bondage around my wrist, my friends will think something bad happened.”

Sweet Pea gave you a look, “Might I remind you that something bad was about to happen earlier if I didn’t stop you.” He deadpanned, making you wince. “If you think you don’t deserve being helped, then just think I’m doing this for me.”

“No, seriously — why are you helping a northsider? I thought you guys hated us?” You asked, looking up at Sweet Pea then at Toni and Fangs. Though, a hiss of pain immediately escaped your lips after Sweet Pea proceeded to clean your scars with the cutton pads drenched in alcohol.

Their expression softened. “Well, you obviously need help and we aren’t that heartless to not help anyone who’s in need of.” Toni replied softly.

Your heart warmed up at her words. At least they care about you despite only knowing you few seconds ago. It was still new to you though; you were never cared for, your mother always did drugs, you had your friends but they didn’t care about you as much as you wanted them to, Jughead has forgotten about you ever since he started to hang out with Betty. So everything that’s happening right now was pretty much a new experience. Why Sweet Pea cares was a complete mystery to you. You’re close to strangers after all — you don’t know a single thing about him and he don’t know a single thing about you.

Sweet Pea glanced at you from the scars on your wrist, seeing you deep in thought. He returned his gaze to your wrist as he ask, “What you got in your mind?”

Your eyes glanced at him for a split second. “Just wondering how can you care for me this much. I mean, we’re strangers and there’s nothing much about me that is worth caring for.”

He snapped his gaze to you. It was barely above a whisper, but he heard it clearly. “Why do you even think you’re not worth caring for?” He asked, stopping his movement and meeting your eyes, searching for an answer.

You looked away from him, free hand going down to fiddle with the hem of your shirt. “That’s what my mom think about me.” You muttered.

The three serpents felt their heart shatter. How a parent could be so cruel to teach their child they’re not worth caring for? They could see the way how her words affected you; you think everyone thinks of you that way just because your mother does. And they were certain that your mother taught you so many wrong things, digged so many false and cruel words in your mind that her words are the only things you can believe.

Sweet Pea gripped your hand while Toni and Fangs scooted closer to you, their faces contorted in anger at your mother for being so cruel to you.

“(Y/n), don’t ever believe what your mother says about you. Whatever she says, you’re worth caring for. Everyone is.” Sweet Pea said firmly, gripping your hands and making you look at him. “It doesn’t matter what she says. You shouldn’t believe everything she tells you just because she’s your mother. You understand me? You’re worth caring for.”

You stared into his eyes and nodded, “Maybe... Maybe if I didn’t have a mother like her, I would’ve been happy. Or if I still had my father.”

Curiosity shines in Fangs’s eyes as he tilted his head slightly to look at you. “Do you remember your father’s name? Don’t you wanna know if he’s still alive?” He pushed over.

“Fangs.” Sweet Pea warned, eyes glaring at him.

“What? He could take him back, so his shitty mom couldn’t touch him ever again.” Fangs proves his point and the raven haired boy sighed at his friend, proceeding to treat your scars.

“I still remember his name and face, but I doubt he’ll take me back in.” You shrugged, pursing your lips into a thin line. And then, a realization hit you that you’re in the southside and that the people around you are members of the southside serpents your father was in.

“Well, what’s his name?” Toni asked.

“(F/n) (L/n).”

“What?”

“My father is (F/n) (L/n).” You repeated, looking up at them now.

Sweet Pea abruptly stopped his movement and looked at you with wide eyes as so did Toni and Fangs.

“(Y/n)...” Sweet Pea calls your name after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah?”

“Your dad is our Serpent King.”

© prettymadness — all rights reserved. do not repost or translate without my permission. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

[slvtbible]

girls need love

pairing: frat!harry x cheerleader!y/n

word count: 2500

summary: just a hot cocky frat boy harry who determines to show you a good time rather than your boyfriend

warning: alcohol and drug use, hints of smut, vulgar language

a/n: i've always been tempted to write frat!Harry for a while now but I don't want it to be a typical high school cliche kind of piece. I’m adding a few different spices to it. Enjoy!

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y/n carefully zips up the short pink skirt she’s wearing for tonight. Straightening the skirt with her hands as she admires through the mirror how good the material looks on her figure. Topping it off with a white fitted crop top and crystal heels. She doubts herself for putting on too much effort for the party but her friends convinced her otherwise.

“You look fucking hot, not gonna lie” her best friend, Luna chimes while applying a lip gloss on her lips. Scanning y/n’s body. “Boys are gonna be all over you tonight!” she squeals excitedly, squeezing the tube back in her make up bag.

That causes y/n to roll her eyes. Boys this and boys that. As if she’s not dressing up tonight for herself. “I know what’s on your mind Luna but that isn’t going to happen. I’m just gonna there, drinking a few glass of Grey Goose or Jagermeister, smoke a few cigs and cuddle up with Brandon… hopefully”

Luna raises her eyebrow and exchanges looks with her other friend, Maria. Who has a ‘there she goes again’ look while brushing her jet black hair to remove unwanted knots.

“He’s a piece of shit. Why are you sticking around with him anyway?” Luna points bluntly, crossing her arms as she stares y/n from behind, who’s busy searching through her favorite pair of earrings.

“Exactly. He gives me bad vibes, y/n. He has a shitty reputation plus that boy only wants you for sex. I’m sorry to say that but we’re your friends and we’re only looking out for you.” Maria adds, putting her brush down before standing up from her dresser. “Jordan told me he’s bad news too.”

y/n sighs, attaching the golden hoop earrings as she hears her friends giving a lecture. “Appreciate it guys. But I can handle myself. If anything goes down south, you guys will be the first ones to know.” she smiles at both of them, messing with her thick long hair that falls above her hips.

The two seem quite unsure about it but let it slide anyway. Luna throws thumbs up to her way while Maria nods with a smile.

“Okay then” Luna says, slipping on her heels and grabbing her bag and car keys. “Come on ladies. I’m looking forward to getting hammered tonight. So y/n is driving” she gives a playful smile before tossing the keys towards her direction,

y/n laughs and shakes her head, easily grasping the keys as the three girls walk out.

As y/n arrives, there are already a few people on the outside. Drinking and making out shameless without any care in the world. The music is pumping loud even before she enters, which y/n can guess the fraternity is putting on Big Sean’s ‘Bounce Back’.

“Another typical frat party to attend. Quite getting tired of this shit.” y/n mumbles as she steps in, the two girls paying no attention to her while scanning over the crowded room.

It’s way too packed. She’s squeezing her way through a sea of sweaty bodies alone while Maria and Luna are looking for their boyfriends. y/n releases a breath of relief when she manages to get out of that. Finding herself standing in the middle of the kitchen.

“Baby! You made it!” She hears a deep voice from behind, spinning on her heels and finds her boyfriend, Brandon. A blue snapback place on top of his blonde hair. Hand gripping a red solo cup and eyes are slightly jaded. She assumes he has been smoking a lot of pot before she came here. “I’ve missed you so much” he mumbles, stepping closer towards her figure and pushes her towards his chest.

She gives a small laugh and hugs him back before pulling away slightly from his grip. Examining his red eyes and large pupils. “How much did you smoke tonight?” she asks straight away,

His hand gripping onto her waist, staring back at her as he shrugs. “Three or five? I don’t know. Why does it matter?” he sips on his alcohol,

“Just want you to be safe. Everytime you get high as a kite, you do something stupid.” she points out the obvious, her hands moving towards his shoulders quickly as he is about to fall. “And i bet this is not the second or the third glass you’re having” she firmly states,

“You’re right. It ain't. But I'm doing perfectly fine. Stop worrying” he says, hand moving down her ass and giving it a squeeze. “How about you and I go upstairs right now? Hm? Wanna fuck you so bad.” he utters against her neck

y/n resists the urge to roll her eyes at him, knowing it’s gonna make it worse. As a response, she shakes her head, moving his hand back to her hip. “Not while you’re like this. Take a breather, seriously. Drink some water” she suggests softly.

Brandon scoffs, lifting his head up and pushes her hands off his shoulders harshly causing her to widen her eyes. Mouth slightly agape at his harsh attitude.

“I didn’t make this party with my boys only for you to always bitch me around about how much I smoked or drank. It’s fucking annoying. Every time you walk in here, you’re always up to ruin my night.” he finishes the drink with a big gulp before chucking the empty cup down the floor. “Here’s a tip for you sweetheart, try to have some fun alright? Don’t come back until you’re ready for me to blow your back out” he snaps, glaring at his girlfriend before turning away to blend with the crowd again.

As she watches him leave, she sighs tiredly. Honestly, that wasn’t the first time she had ever seen him like this. She puts up with his nasty attitude and defends him in front of her own friends countless times because she believes deep down, he genuinely cares about her. When he’s sober, of course.

Because despite everything, he’s 100% different when he’s sober,

Well… okay, not really. She doesn’t know which one is true anymore.

y/n brushes of his attitude quickly and heads towards the fridge. Grabbing herself a can of beer before getting herself completely drunk tonight.

“Perhaps i should listen to Luna more” she mumbles, tasting the cold liquid as she sips it. Leaning her front against the counter, her elbows resting on top of the tiles. Observing the party while bobbing her head slowly to the music.

“That was extremely painful to watch”

She turns her head to where the voice comes from. Seeing Harry Styles, another member of the fraternity leaning against the doorway. His arms crossed causing his muscles to bulge out a little, he’s dressed in his usual attire. A white v neck and blue flannel with the sleeves roll up to his elbows. Chocolate curls tucked into a green snapback that he props on backwards along with dark skinny jeans he put on.

He shoots her a flirty smirk, causing his dimples to pop out. Pushing himself off the wall before walking towards her figure.

“Harry.” she speaks out his name, faking a smile when she watches him getting closer. “Surprised not to see you exchanging saliva with a girl in the corner of the room… like usual” she says sarcastically, moving her gaze back forward and taking a couple sip of the beer.

Harry winces playfully, pressing his hand to his heart pretending to get hurt by it. “Ouch princess” he leans sideways against the counter, propping his elbow on top as he laces his fingers, staring down at her who’s too busy looking away. “Always come up with horrible assumptions every time you see me. Never did once hear you say something nice”

She rolls her eyes, now glancing up to him who’s smirk never leaves his face. His lower lip taking in between his teeth. “Everybody knows you’re a player, Harry. What’s the nicest shit you could possibly gain from that?” she questions, eyebrows furrowing as she tilts her head back.

“At least I never humiliate you in front of people. You know i’m right” he shrugs, referring to what Brandon did earlier as he clicks his tongue against his teeth.

“What do you want, Harry?” she sighs, clearly showing she’s not in the mood to play tonight. “Can’t you see i’m busy?”

He chuckles, scratching his nose with his thumb. “Busy as in, isolating yourself from the party with a beer on your hand?” his finger points at the can, making her drop the can quickly. “Thought so. I'm here to keep you company.”

She can’t help but exhale a laugh, shaking her head. “Don’t act like I'm a damsel in distress. I don’t need a company. I’m pretty much capable on my own.”

“Again, you’re breaking my heart. By rejecting me.” he jokes, eyebrows raising as she watches him in amusement. “A guy wanting to have a chat with a pretty girl at the party isn’t allowed? Are there any policies about that?”

Her heart flutters a bit when he calls her pretty. Yeah, okay she does think Harry is hot. Like, really really hot. Who doesn’t think so? With that charming smile and seemingly soft curls that makes her go crazy a little bit. The vice captain of the football team that has every girl on campus swooning over, making it easy for him to flirt with a girl way into her panties.

“I’m flattered, truly I am. But flirting won’t get you anywhere Mister.” she tsks, wiggling her finger at him. “Especially flirting with a girl who already has a boyfriend. Another bad image for you, Styles.” she mutters, watching him chuckle with his green eyes staring back at hers.

“I am very much aware that you’re taken. But come on, harmless flirting? You’re gonna snitch on me? To him?” he asks, moving closer to leave a small space between them,

y/n takes a sharp breath as she feels how close they are right now. Clearing her throat and regaining her posture. “I might” she plays along, biting down onto her lip,

She sees how his eyes flicker down to her mouth, puffing out a deep breath from. Finding it hard to remove his gaze from her soft plump lips.

“You’re making it harder for me now” he mumbles, grabbing a cup filled vodka before chugging it down his throat. “I’m blaming it on you.”

“Harder to what, exactly?” she curiously asks,

“To not want you.” He replies bluntly, his flirty tone changes into a deeper one. Eyes lusting over her face and down to her body.

She feels herself swallow a lump on her throat, crossing her arms as his back leans against the table now. Eyes never leaving hers.

“That’s not the right thing to say to your best friend’s girlfriend.” she slowly stands in front of him now, hands on her back. “What happens if he heard you? You don’t want that.”

“I’ll take my chances” He smirks, putting the empty cup down. Standing up straight as his palms firmly plants on the table. “Besides, Brandon is way too drunk to care right now, princess. He’s fucking shitfaced.”

She giggles, nodding to herself. “Don’t need to see it for myself, I know you’re telling the truth.”

“He treats you like shit. Do you know that? Or are you on that ‘blinded by love’ stage at the moment” he queries in a serious tone. Searching for an answer on her face.

With a sigh, she nods. “I’m aware. I just. . . don’t like being alone. Seems like every cheerleader must have a frat boyfriend, kind of like a thing somehow. I don’t wanna miss out” Honestly, she sounds quite stupid with the reason she’s giving him but it’s actually the half truth.

He looks at her quizzically, finding it hard to believe every word she said. “You’re making no sense. Brandon maybe my best mate but he’s still a fucking asshole” he responds, standing up straight, looking down at her. “I fucked girls, yeah. But not as many as you thought and certainly not as heartless as you thought, y/n. Believe me.”

She feels her knees weaken when his lips are inches away from hers. Pressing down her lips as her eyes look over his shoulder.

“I can treat you better.” her eyes bug out at his confession. “Been watching you over the past couple years and goddamn it y/n, you’re the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen. Not to mention, sweet and smartt.” his fingers softly tucking a hair behind her ear. Grazing his knuckles gently against her bare arm,

“I can fuck you better too” his voice fills with lust, hand moving down to grab her hip gently. Thumbing the material of her skirt. “I know you’ve been thinking about me. Your sneaky glances aren’t exactly sneaky at all, baby” he whispers.

y/n already knows how wrong it is to be in this position. With his hand gripping her hip and her not halting his actions. Brandon might be the biggest ass she has ever encountered, but that doesn’t mean she’ll cheat on him. Despite how bad she wants it from Harry, she needs to stop. Yet she doesn’t. Why?

Because she actually wants this as bad.

“Is that a promise?” she flirts, flickering her stare back at him. Brown eyes glinting with desire and lust. Feeling his hand moves towards her cheek, cupping it gently as his thumb brushes against her light glossed lip. “Would be a shame if you’re nothing but an all talk, Harry”

The way she rolls his name off his tongue is causing his cock to twitch in excitement. Especially with that sexy stare she’s giving him, eyes wide and a naughty smile on her beautiful face saying how she’s ready to give it all to him.

‘Fuck you Brandon, your girl mine now.’ he thinks to himself cockily,

“Oh I promise you, darling.” he speaks slowly, pulling her close against his chest. “By the end of the night. The only name you’re going to remember is mine.”

He speaks so confidently and that causes her thighs to squeeze together as she feels her panties to slightly dampen. The sexual desire in her begins to grow even more, and she knows he feels the same way.

“I like the way you talk” she tells him, soft fingers running up and down his heavily tattooed arm.

He gives her a large wicked grin, leaning down a bit to brush his lips against her ear and whispers, “I want you to go upstairs and stay inside my room. You know which one. I expect your clothes are already on the floor once I get there. I’ll be up in fifteen.” he pecks her soft cheek, hearing her let out a soft whimper.

“I’m gonna wreck you tonight, darling.”

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this is short i apologize but tell me if you want part 2 to this! hope you all liked it!

[stellar-imagines]

SCENARIO REQUEST: ❝don't be embarrassed.❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki, Amajiki Tamaki ]

「Scenario of  Midoriya, Bakugou and Tamaki where their S/O is touch starved so she constantly tries to hug them or hold their hands but they panic and yanks their hand or told her to stop because it's embarrassing since they started dating not long ago and she "gets the message" and stops trying to touch them at all because she doesn't want to bother them. 」

MIDORIYA IZUKU

Its been only two weeks since you both started dating. You and Midoriya were what people call the ideal couple. You were always looked after one another and knew each other like the back of your hands. During the two weeks you dated, you have been quite you touchy. When you both walked back to and from the dorms, you would always link arms with him or hold his hand. The viridian haired boy is one nervous wreck, he never thought that he’d be able to date someone as amazing as you.

He’s trying his best, really. But he gets flustered whenever you initiate anything. Something as simple as holding hands got him flustered. It’s not because he dislikes PDA or anything, even behind closed doors, he gets super nervous. You were a touch starved person and you never shied away from showing affection. Whenever you see the chance, you would shower him with affection. He doesn’t hate it but he just gets very, very nervous when it comes to you. Midoriya loves you a lot but gives him some time to get used to PDA and all that.

Today was another tiring day at UA, you were looking forward to studying with your boyfriend. He was one of the smart students in class and he’s very patient with you when teaching. Not to mention, you get to spend time with your favorite person. As soon as class ended, Midoriya came to your table and the two of you headed back to the dorms together. You reach out to hold his hand only for him to panic and pull his hand away from yours. His cheeks were red, eyes darting to side to avoid his gaze. 

"Stop it, it's embarrassing.....We just started dating recently and....." he mutters. You thought about it and realized that you've been quite pushy and forcing him to follow you. Midoriya avoids your gaze, afraid that he might've upset you somehow.

"Ah, sorry. I'll stop. I must be bothering you." you beamed instead. You loved Midoriya and if he's not comfortable with it, you'll hold back for his sake. Retracting your hand back, you settled with just walking next to him and began to talk about something completely random to not make it awkward.

After that, you stopped trying to touch him. He was sure that you were upset. You stopped reaching out to hold his hands or even give him a hug. Even when the two of you were alone, you didn't try to initiate anything. He knew that he was a shy person and strays away from PDA but he doesn't really mind it when you do it in the privacy of either of your rooms. But now, you stopped completely and he has no idea what he was supposed to do. Does he man up and initiate himself or wait for you? Then again, he was the one telling you to stop.

Today, you both were in your room, watching a movie that Uraraka had recommended. You were seated next to each other with a small gap between the two of you. He saw you fiddling with your fingers, looking a bit restless as your leg bounced. At this point, Midoriya wasn't even paying attention to the movie anymore. Instead, all he could think about was how much he wanted to hold your hand. When was the last time he held it? It felt like weeks, he missed your touch so much. He shouldn't have told you to stop. It wasn't embarrassing at all, it made him feel loved.

"Izuku? What's wrong?" you asked.

Before he knew it, he was holding your hand. You could see that his face was burning bright red but he squeezed your hand and doesn't seem like he wanted to let go.

"S-Sorry. For telling you to stop holding my hand, last time. I didn't mean it that way! It's just that I'm not used to affection and you're so affectionate, I don't really know how to react. I always pull away and tell you to stop it. Sorry for calling you bothersome! I don't want you to stop! I really like it when you hold my hand and hug me―"

"Woah, Izuku! Slow down." you moved closer and cupped his cheek, a worried look crossing your face. He looked like he was on the verge of crying and genuinely thought that it was his fault.

"It's nothing you should be sorry for. We should've talked with each other about this." you smiled gently at him as he rested his head on your shoulder. Midoriya relaxed and shifted closer to you.

"Can we cuddle?" he mumbles.

"Of course we can."

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

"Sorry to make you wait, Katsuki!" you linked your arm with his which caused him to jerk forward in surprise. The male let out a grumble in surprise, muttering something under his breath while you giggled in response. It was always like this with Bakugou and you've gotten used to it.

Your relationship with the explosive boy was quite odd. You were the typical, bubbly girl that everyone loved talking to while he's the angry, intimidating boy people steered away from. How you got together was really a mystery. Bakugou prefers to be left alone, despite his objections, he often ends up letting you hang around with him. You were quite persistent and it took quite a long time for him to admit that you two were friends. You had been the first

It's been only a week since you both started dating and nothing much has changed between the two of you. Bakugou always seems to avoid being affectionate with you but on the other hand, you were quite touchy and affectionate. Before you both started dating, you seem to like grabbing his arm when you wanted to show him something and he usually complained about it. He would shout at you and the first few times, he would yank his arm away. Over time, he decided to just leave it be. He still yelled at you but never did anything to make you let go. So when you both started dating, you thought that he would be okay with that kind of thing.

"Stop being so embarrassing, idiot!" he yanks his hand away from you. The moment he yanks his hand away, you thought that it was bothering him after all. Frowning slightly, you moved your hands behind your back. The last thing you wanted was to be a bother to the person you love.

"Okay, then. I'll stop."

Bakugou was surprised that you showed no resistance at all. He expected you to whine and complain about it. Perhaps, you would bring up about how you're both now a couple and this kind of thing is completely normal and nothing to be embarrassed about. But you didn't. He wondered if he was too harsh with his words. You didn't seem that affected, going on about your day like usual without a care in the world. He couldn't tell whether you were upset about it or not, especially when you're really good at hiding your feelings.

After a few days, he was 100% sure that you were upset about it. The times you walked back to the dorms with him, you made sure to leave a certain amount of distance between the two of you. When your fingers brush, you would apologize and move away a bit. Bakugou knows that he had been an asshole, you really don't deserve to be yelled at just for being a bit touchy. He needs to apologize. That's why he invited you out for dinner. It was your favorite ramen place. The two of you ate and left, tummy satisfied.

"It's not like you to invite me to dinner. What's the occasion?" you asked. Bakugou kept his mouth shut, watching as you skipped in front of him while he walked behind you. He stared longingly at your hand that was swinging back and forth. Before he realized it, his own hand reached to grab yours. The two of you stopped walking and you turned to face your boyfriend.

"Sorry." he mumbled so quietly that you could barely hear him.

"Sorry, say that again? Are you okay? You're acting weird." you asked.

"I said I'm sorry!" he said louder.

"What are you sorry for? Was it because of yesterday when you―"

"Listen! I just wanted you to be less touchy.....I'm not fucking good at this yucky shit you people call affection. But it doesn't mean that you have to avoid me entirely." he grumbles out, avoiding your gaze. You let out a sigh, you didn't think that he felt guilty over that. It really wasn't a big deal. You knew that he probably just wanted some space and you misinterpreted his words, thinking that he was embarrassed when you were affectionate.

"Oh, Katsuki.....I'm not upset over it okay? I just thought that you didn't like me being affectionate in public." you grabbed hold of his hand and intertwined your fingers together. Bakugou kept his attention on his feet, refusing to meet your eyes. You gently tugged him towards you, motioning him to follow you.

"C'mon, let's go home." you smiled. Bakugou didn't do anything to make you let go of his hand. The male let you hold his hand the entire way back to the dorms without complaining nor showing signs of wanting to let go. He might be a bit embarrassed to be holding hands with you but he never voiced out that he hated it. In fact, he likes how your hand fits perfectly with his and how happy you look as you swung your intertwined hands back and forth.

AMAJIKI TAMAKI 

The two of you were complete opposites and it was a surprise for everyone to know that you both started dating. A lot of people wondered how since you were such a bubbly and outgoing person while he's introverted. Nonetheless, you were a good couple in everyone's eyes. You were quite affectionate both in public and private. On the other hand, Tamaki was more comfortable with affection behind closed doors. He even struggled sometimes even when it comes to private affection, getting flustered whenever your fingers blush and completely malfunctioning when you hugged him.

You were aware of Tamaki's situation and feelings towards affection and your relationship in general. He's very happy to be dating you. When it comes to showing affection in public, he'd blush profusely and tries his best to deal with it. This guy would be very nervous and shaky the entire time but he does his very best to deal with it. You often grabbed hold of his hand while you're walking side by side, sometimes going ask far as to latch yourself onto his arm. You had no problems kissing him on the cheek in public and honestly, every single time you did that, he thinks that he would faint on the spot.

"Tamaki! Whatcha spacing out for?" you linked your arm with his, earning a loud yelp from the male.

"[F-First Name]!" Tamaki's entire face was red and he was taken by surprise. The black-haired male panicked and yanks his hand away from yours. He looked away from you, avoiding your gaze. You took a moment to study his facial features but since he was looking down, you couldn't see his face.

"Stop.....! It's embarrassing." he mutters. It was expected. You both started dating a week ago and this level of affection was probably a bit too much for the introverted and meek Tamaki. You frowned, realizing that you had been forcing him to go along with you this entire time. You knew that you shouldn't have been too affectionate with him so early in the relationship. In the end, you moved your hand back to your side, thinking that it was best to give him some space and not bother him. 

"Sorry." you forced a smile. Tamaki did not miss the way your lips trembled, fully aware that you were forcing a smile. You pointed out to the restaurant you were both heading to and went ahead before he could even say anything to you. The male frowned, thinking that he had made you upset by telling you to stop. He knew that he was really shy and preferred to have dates inside his house or somewhere more private. But he can't do that all the time.

It didn't take long for him to notice that he had royally fucked up. You didn't make a single move to hold his hand nor even hug him. He was so used to you latching onto him the moment school ended, hands intertwined as two of you walked back to the dorms. Instead, you gave him a wave and walked by his side. The usual kiss on the cheek he gets as a thank you for walking you back was no more. You thanked him verbally instead of rewarding him with those small kisses. Tamaki has never felt so guilty in his entire life before. He didn't want to talk to you about it because he knows it was his fault. And he had to fix it himself. He missed your affectionate ways of showing your love to him.

Tamaki decided to invite you out during the weekends. He has never done anything like this before, usually he lets you decide where to go because he's not that confident in planning a date. You seem surprised that he took initiative and asked you out. It was a short walk to the train station and he was staring at your hand the entire time. He had to get over his shyness, he wanted to show you that he loved you as much as you loved him. The more he stared at your hand, the anxiety within him intensified. In the end, he decided to fuck it all and grab your hand. You were surprised that he made the first move but it didn't last long. 

The ringing from the bicycle approaching made him jump and let go of your hand. And after that, he struggled to hold your hand again. It wasn't that hard for you to figure out that he was trying to hold your hand, possibly feeling bad over that one time he shook your hand off of him. You stopped in your tracks and ensured that you were in a more quiet part of the neighborhood. 

“Tamaki.....you really don't have to force yourself for my sake. You don't have to force yourself to show affection. I know that it's out of your comfort zone and I completely understand that.” you said.

"I-It's not that! I'm not forcing myself! I just.....really wanted to hold your hand." Tamaki muttered the last part mostly to himself.

"It's not embarrassing at all. The problem is me because I get embarrassed easily and....." you didn't hear the rest of his sentence because he was muttering to himself. You put your hand behind your ear and leaned closer towards your boyfriend in hopes of hearing him better.

"Um, Tamaki, I can't really hear you."

"I like it when you're affectionate! So don't stop!" he let out his voice. It didn't take long for him to realize that he had raised his voice, his entire face was beet red. Really, it was embarrassing but as long as you understood his feelings, it didn't really matter at this point. You giggled gently to yourself, and hooked your pinky with his.

"If you can't handle holding hands in public, let's start with our pinkies."

Total: 2605 words  Published: 24.09.2020

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Thank you for requesting it! Potential angsty request but we held back. Hope you enjoyed this! ― author Natsuki

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