#i genuinely can't stop crying my head is going to fucking explode

[pardonmydelays]

guys i am visiting my sister in the uk in january and she just bought us the tickets to see hadestown on west end!!!

[lakesbian]

i think cherie has a weird psychological fixation on alec. btw. for reasons such as

cheries Deal is about being powerful and scary and manipulative so she can be the one who hurts others instead of the one who gets hurt due to shes fundamentally alienated from connection w/ herself and others and has no other way to cope with existing without feeling like dirt

also her powers are abt being stuck in this miserable cramped home w a bunch of other miserable violent people and having to learn how to emotionally read everyone so she can cater to the abuser to keep herself safe + understand how to manipulate the other victims (to make life easier for herself, to hurt them to satiate her abuser & feel like she's regained some control, etc)

alec was one of the siblings slightly closer 2 her in age + one of the siblings she tormented, someone she knew exceedingly well as a result of her power. theres a connection there. its a bad connection but theres a connection. forced him to do horrible shit alongside heartbreaker + WoG implies she contributed 2 the sexual abuse by fostering the hypersexual behavior. basically i bet she thinks she has him read for filth

he was a sad little sopping wet crybaby 4 most of the time she knew him absolutely the type that would make younger cherie be like "tch...hes not cut out for anything." and tell him to stop being a whiny baby (<- she thinks this counts as helpful life advice). i think she would tell him this even if he wasn't actually crying. like he would go ":(" in his head and she would be like Stop being a whiny baby. just unprompted. also on the one occasion she tried to cheer him up she did so by letting him watch liveleak videos of people exploding on her phone.

anyway my point is. sad sopping wet crybaby jean-paul grows up, toughens up, runs away successfully (first heartbroken to do so), and THEN becomes a threat of stabilizing his own power 2 the point where he could eventually become more successful/well-known than her while the cult back home is slowly dwindling in power. what if the sopping wet crybaby younger sibling you tortured as a coping mechanism was at risk of getting cooler than you would that be fucked up or what.

furthermore i think cherie is like. conscious about the fact that she sucks and the heartbroken home sucks and thinks she's being Honest about it + brave in the face of the inherent misery that the world wreaks upon her for sucking. and she also thinks that alec is, like, not just lying and obscuring the fact that he sucks from the undersiders, but successfully being treated like he Doesn't suck as a result. which pisses her off and is, aside from thinking it's funny when he's miserable, why she tries to ~reveal the truth~ about him 2 the undersiders over the phone. this is funny because alec also thinks he's being honest about the fact that he sucks and in fact considers it one of his strong points.

but anyway yeah i think shes fixated with being able to like. drag him back down to what she perceives as their shared level + reestablish control over him bc him being free and successful while genuinely improving himself as a person puts fundamental cracks in her worldview.

all of which is to say in the beautiful hypothetical world where she gets drudged up from the ocean and riley and amy awkwardly put her back together she finds out alec died doing smth good 4 aisha and she doesn't fucking like it. because he's beyond her reach in two ways forever now. first of all he's dead. second of all he died doing something uncomplicatedly caring and self-sacrificing for a friend which means the undersiders permanently remember him as a fucked up kid they knew back when they were all fucked up kids who ultimately Tried and went out being the best person he could be. which means she can't drag him back down to her level and reassert her worldview by making him miserable Or by changing ppls opinions of him. even insinuates that what She thought about him might have been wrong. and aisha laborn, the person he died for, who is now taking care of all of the heartbroken, who still remembers alec deeply fondly, is naturally where her Weird Psychological Fixation transfers next. also worth noting that THE FUCKING WORLD ENDED while she was down there and the s9 is Over so cherie is just. utterly irrelevant everybody forgor about her. she doesn't even get to feed off ppls hatred, no "negative attention is still attention" for her, she just gets drudged up and is expected 2 move on with her life. which is to say she immediately clings onto the one remnant of the world she knew, the one place where she can still claw for relevancy w/ ppl who would know her, and starts emailing aisha "can't make a banaisha split without a cherie on top" 200 times in a single evening. and aisha doesnt care at all cherie is going fucking nuts over this whole thing and aisha is just over there mentally writing this weeks grocery list in her head

[tobiasdrake]

Going deeper into the House of Change can wait. There are more important matters to attend to: Break time!

I don't like different. Different usually means a rock smushes my face into substandard beef chili. The kind that makes everyone at the cookoff give you this quiet look of disapproval until you pack up your things and pretend you're just there to eat.

But if y'all are sure nothing is going to explode and kill me, then....

You know what, you're right. We just fought a boss. Now's a good time to stop and eat. (And maybe I'll catch one of you ripping bread.)

Valuable lessons being taught here. We are all competent adults who are more than qualified to be responsible for a grade schooler.

...which sounds sarcastic but honestly this group is fine. Out of all the parties I've adventured with, this might be the party most suited to taking care of and providing adequate role models for a growing child. We can be a little silly at times but everyone here has their shit together pretty well.

It's almost like we're at the Final Dungeon and everyone's undergone their full stretch of character development already.

@_@ Madame Odile, I did not take you for the kind of person who is... uh... who is interested in... in, uh....

...

Fun. Like. I genuinely thought you were violently disinterested in merriment of any kind. What is--

Ohhh, okay, now that makes a bit more sense.

...wait. Shit. Nobody tell Bonnie but this might mean their sister is screwed.

WHO TOLD BONNIE

Good job, Isa. You lie to that child like your life DEPENDS on it. So help me, if Bonnie starts crying, I will slit my own goddamn throat right here and now in the middle of snack time. And then I will go back in time and punch Odile in the fucking face before she flips her stupid coin.

I am deathly serious! Nobody will have any idea why that just happened. Everyone will think I flipped out for no reason and I will have to lie like I've never lied before.

But in the commotion, Bonnie's childish idealism will be spared.

Crisis averted. Snack time may now commence in earnest.

You know, I've never had plantain chips before. But I've been curious about them ever since I started eating dried fruit. I should give them a try some time.

I mean. I come from an eventful but delicious home, where the food is amazing every night but also we have a lot of family emergencies and crises and insecurities to worry about. I would kill to reach a point of boring-but-delicious stability.

Don't knock it, Bonnie. I know you're still young and the idea of a tumultuous future sounds exciting, but as you get older, you reach a point where you just want a warm hearth, a nice roof over your head, and a soothing plate of orange-flavored cinnamon rolls.

Tolkien was right. Boring but delicious is the domestic ideal.

Bonnie, I appreciate that you care so much about being multicultural that you'll eagerly prepare food you can't even pronounce. That attitude will take you far in life.

Also, Odile deserves this after that stunt she just pulled.

Well. I, for one, salute our Sovereign of Snack Time. Regent of Recipes. Monarch of Meals!

Truly, we all know who the real MVP of this team is.

(It's me, but I'll let Bonnie have this moment. *nods sagely*)

[oneforthemunny]

What about Janitor Eddie comforting reader after she had the baby and she’s feeling insecure about her body with the changes. Like I know he loves her no matter what

he's be so sad because he's obsessed with her no matter what. like not even on a "your personality is what makes you beautiful" like yes, he agrees, but also he think you are the prettiest person in the world. like the most beautiful and amazing, and every time you put yourself down it makes him so sad. genuinely sad, so for all of you who want to say bad things about yourself, picture saying it to janitor!eddie and his eyes get so sad and I hope you stop yourself!!!

but especially after/when you're pregnant. he's mind boggled that you think you're not a goddess, because to him, you are. a warrior, a goddess, the most amazing, strongest, beautiful thing on the planet. everyone around you should feel lucky that they're in you're presence because do they even appreciate that they're with the nicest, kindest, strongest, most beautiful being in creation???

he'd do anything for you. for your babies too. when she's throwing a little pity party about stretch marks, hiding while she feeds olivia, and disappearing to the bathroom to change he's like????

"baby, what's wrong?" eddie would ask after you got the kids to sleep. "is it your stitches? or do you need to pump? or need your cream?"

you're just standing, tears streaming while you cup your stretched skin. "I'm sorry," you mutter, turning to him with watery eyes. "I know this isn't... this isn't who you wanted to be with, and I swear I'll start eating better and-and doing more. I've just been so tired, ed, and-"

"what?" eddie asks, flinching and head shaking in genuine shock. "what are you talking about?"

"me." you croak, tears flooding down your cheeks and blurring your vision. "I didn't realize that-that it wouldn't go back to normal after I had her, and-and I'm sorry. you don't deserve to look at this, and see me like this. I'm sorry you have to see this."

"don't." eddie's voice is hard, stern- a tone you very rarely ever hear from him. his lips are pressed together, nearly angry, upset. your heart hammers for the worst. "did I... did I say something or do something that made you feel like this?" eddie asks softly, his own face crumpling.

you shake your head, sucking in a shuddering breath. "no, but-but look at me, ed-"

"yeah, I can't stop looking at you, baby." eddie says, not missing a beat. "you just had a baby. my baby. our baby." eddie whispers. "you had her in your body and brought her here all safe and sound, and-and you think I'd be..." he can't even finish the sentence, shaking his head and hand sliding down his face.

"I think you're beautiful. I think you're even more beautiful now."

you roll your eyes lightly, swiping your tears away. "don't lie, eddie."

"I would never." eddie said fiercely. "I don't know how you could think I was lying when every time I see you, I-I want to scream and cry and kiss you and hold onto you and run in circles all at the same time because you're mine. like you're really mine." his eyes trap yours, holding your gaze fiercely.

"and I thought you were perfection on the day I met you, and every single day you just get better and it makes my brain want to explode because how can you be so perfect in every single fucking way." he's rambling, truthful words spilling out of him like a fountain, leaving you blushing and sniffling.

"then you married me, and-and then you had a kid with me- two kids? you want to be with me and you love me, and fuck, you're so hot. I mean, do you know how hard it is for me not to want to fuck you every second of the day? do you even know what you do to me? you sneezed the other day and I got a boner, and you think.... you think I'm not attracted to you?" you giggled, eyes rolling gently at his admission. it made you blush, made you feel warm and gooey and loved. so fucking loved.

his hand is on your hip, rubbing over the stretched flesh, squeezing it lightly, lovingly. "I don't know how you can't see what I see, but I'll keep trying to show you, because you're the most fucking mind blowing thing in my life... well, you and the kids, but you, baby. you're on another level that I'll never be on in my life."

you blush, looking down at his hand. "I think you're on that level." you mutter, feeling him pull you close, mindful of your sore boobs.

"no way." he muttered, nose buried in your hair. "and that's alright. I'm happy just to watch you be you for the rest of my life. you're my favorite thing in my whole life. nothings beatin' you, baby."

[sugarmaiiu]

Fuck You, Billy.

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader

Summary: Over the past few months, you've almost be shredded by an unknown slime dog, and your life has been at risk more times than you can count, so as you settle down into your last year of highschool, all you want is some normality in your life. You kissed normality goodbye when you threw a drink at Billy's face at a highschool party you're not even sure why he was at considering he's graduated, but now you've got him intrigued. You refuse to even picture yourself with him, even after he sneaks back into Hawkins High to make you enter a false relationship with him. You won't give in. You can't give in. You're hoping you can stop yourself from giving in...

Time Frame: between season 2 and 3 / September 1984 (Billy hasn't gotten his Lifeguard job yet)

Warnings: t/w rough handling (this is Billy we are talking about)

Word Count: 3.7k

First Person POV

PART 2

a/n: personally I think a lot of people write Billy to kindly when he genuinely is very inconsiderate and selfish for most of his time on the show so I'm here to give that side of him some good rep. Let's gooooooooo!

Why did the air feel so thick? I struggled to keep a consistent breath pattern as I walked down the halls of Hawkins High.

I noticed the plethora of eyes raining down on me, which I was prepared for after the events of yesterday. I just never expected it to feel so suffocating.

I sped up my pace, keeping my head down. I was apart of the yearbook committee for crying out loud. I'm not a cheerleader or one of the freaks of that Hellfire Club, so no one, on normal day, ever wastes their time looking my way.

Except, Billy Hargrove apparently.

Honestly, fuck Billy fucking Hargrove. Yeah, I said it. Fuck Billy mother fuc-

I crashed.

My thoughts stopped and I looked up from the floor from the binder that just dropped and exploded to see the face of the prementioned Billy Hargrove. Didn't he graduate with Steve? Why is he here?

"You know y/n," he said grabbing my wrist, to stop it from going to pick up paper on the floor, "I won't just disappear if you pretend I don't exist."

Even if I wanted to reply, Billy had other plans. He began ushering me away, pulling me by the wrist.

"Billy stop", I said tugging at my wrist. His grip only got tighter, like his hand was a snake and any minute now I was going to be eaten whole. "Billy you're hurting me!"

Next thing I knew I was being dragged to the back of the school's theater where we would be left completely alone.

It was dark and I could barely see and after basically bruising my wrist he finally let go.

"Okay, you got me alone and in the dark. What's next? You gonna slice my throat and throw me out back?"

"y'/n", it only took him saying my name for me to shut it, but even though it was dark I could still see him perfectly. I could see him smirk, when I instinctively jumped when he said my name. "How is that everyone in this school loves me, and even if they don't, they at least don't have the balls to show their disrespect," he took a step towards me, looking straight into my eyes.

"Probably becau-", he shushed me.

"But, you sweetheart, seem to have the fucking biggest balls of anyone," he took another step towards me, so I took one back. I kept taking a step back as he stepped forward till I bumped my foot on the wall behind me. I have no where to go. "Do you think it was funny?", he whispered taking the final steps to almost close the gap between us.

"No I don't think it was funny." he was directly in my face now and it took everything in me to not raise my hands to cover the blush on my face. "I just think you deserved it," I said with a smile.

He slammed his hand on the wall behind me, pinning me into close quarters with him. "Do I scare you?", he said taking his fingers to my chin to force my head to look up at him.

"Do I scare you?", I replied back with. I could hear his breath skip a cycle when I said that, but it didn't stop him from grasping tighter on my chin and looking directly into my eyes.

"You have balls, y/n. I can really respect that. All I ask from you is some sort of apology."

"What about from you, you're the one who wanted in my pants at that party."

"Right," he said with a laugh under his breath. He moved his leg into between mine, his knee just under my crotch. It sent a shiver down my spine.

I won't deny that Billy is very attractive. I'd call him pretty if I was sure it wouldn't boost his ego. If it wasn't the way Billy went at things, if Billy wasn't the way he was. I wouldn't be able to resist it when he asks me if I want to go back to his place like he did at the party.

"Then why are you shivering?", he continued. He finally let go of my face, letting it go back to its resting position of looking at the floor. "So about that apology, I think I know what you can do for me." he clapped his hands and smiled when I looked at him in distraught. "Oh don't worry I'd never have you do anything you didn't consent too"

"Then what is it," I scoffed, "What do you want from me?"

"To give me a chance.", he replied snappily.

"A chance. . .for what?"

"Don't act like as if you don't know. I want you to give me a chance to please you," he paused to laugh, "It's not all about hair and bitchin' rides in this head of mine babe."

"That would require me to actually like you Billy, and considering I feel nauseous from just being alone with you right now, I don't think that'll work.", he sat down on a box behind him and ushered me to come over. I hesitated, but the last thing I need is for him to force me over again and leave worse bruises on my wrist. so I walked over standing just before his knees.

"Guess you'll just have to drink some more water to cool off that stomach, cause I want you to pretend being my girlfriend."

My heart sank. What?

Billy, the guy who doesn't ask anyone for anything. The guy who is basically a walking chick magnet and with what I imagine has raging commitment issues, is asking me to pretend to be his girlfriend? The fact that he is even asking a woman for anything romantic when he could easily get it from anyone else and could easily have a real relationship with anyone else, baffles me.

"Why me?"

"Like I said, you have balls.", he said with a smile.

"Ok other than having balls, why me? You literally could have anyone here, and you choose to force this on me."

"I certainly didn't force you to throw that rum in my face."

"You're avoiding the question," I said folding my arms into my chest.

Unlike before, he gently pulled me to stand between his legs, forcing me to uncross my arms. He placed both hands on my arms, one on each, and looked at me with a smile.

"No one here other than you would dare to throw anything in my face, even if they wanted to.", he laughed to himself, "You intrigue me, y/n."

"What if I refuse to play the role of your girlfriend?"

He whispered, "What would everyone think about you then if I told them what we were doing all the things they already think we're doing in here. It's not like anyone would believe you if you deny it. Especially when I could hold out these." He held up a pair of lacy purple underwear.

I went to reply but I couldn't find the words, he really had me trapped. I could ignore the allegation, but I'd probably get kicked out of the yearbook committee due to the allegations. I'd have everyone hate me, cause oh god how dare I touch the King of Hawkins. "I can't let you off without getting an apology," he whispered.

"I don't want to have sex with you,", I quickly added, "I also don't want this to be the entirety of my senior year."

"I don't think your in the position to be making demands," he said, "but I respect you. I'm a free open book now, but I know you're still in school and all so how about until the end of your first semester, and the next one can be all yours."

"No sex though right?"

"If you can resist me."

"Whatever, Billy," I began to walk away but he grabbed at my waist and spun me around till there was only half an inch between us.

"Close the gap," he whispered.

"Billy, wh-", he grabbed my wrist from before, giving it a tight squeeze.

"Close the gap, y/n. We won't be finished here if you don't seal our deal."

He had the worst devilish grin, and I had to stop myself from spitting in his face by his demands. I sighed, leaning in to give him a quick peck. Our lips met for a second before I pulled away, but his hand reached up to my hair, making me crash back into his embrace.

This is the Billy I know, the one who takes what he wants. I don't know how I could ever see him anything other than a narcissistic head of Farrah Fawcet spray, but when his lips met mine and he held me close my head went blank for a moment and all I could think about is how good it felt.

After a couple minutes of our aggressive kissing, he was of course the one to decide when enough was enough, biting my bottom lip one last time before separating himself from him. I stepped away, refusing to look at him in the eyes.

"Me and you. Date. Tomorrow after school. Don't make me wait for you," he wiped his lip with his thumb while giving me a smile. I turned to leave, but before I could completely leave him by himself I said from a distance, "You better hope all my stuff isn't in the trash by now, or your in deep shit," I paused, "and fuck you, Billy."

With that I felt like I sprinted out of the auditorium, cause when I got back out into the hall I made my way to go retrieve my previously dropped stuff, and I noticed how I felt breathless.

For the rest of the day, all I could think about is how the hell my life went from battling the upside down to being coerced by Billy Hargrove into being his pretend girlfriend. I couldn't stand him, he interrupts me when I'm speaking and he refuses no or an answer. He really is just the worst. It's hard for me to concentrate on all his bad qualities when I get reminded of that harsh, long kiss he stole from me.

With Billy already being out of high school, I hoped the news of us wouldn't get out so quickly as he won't be here everyday to start telling everyone he knows. I sighed, feeling some relief when I entered the room where the yearbook club occupies. Then I saw Billy standing right there in front of the door with my club president.

"There she is," he said after spotting me. "I was just explaining to our friend here what happened yesterday at that party," he smiled at me and back to her.

"I thought you were crazy at first y/n, but Billy told me everything. I'm surprised you guys have been able to keep it a secret for so long."

I blanked, oh so even when he's not in school he's still able to spread it out quickly about us dating . "Uh- yeah I just was really upset about it yesterday." I paused not even looking at her anymore, only staring at Billy's smug smile. "I think you should get going now though Billy, don't you think?"

"Luckily for you, I just got you the day off."

"Have fun," she said with a fake smile, obviously upset by the fact I out of all people am dating their King. Billy walked my way, turning me around. He placed his hand on the small of my back as as we walked out, sending a shiver down my spine.

"Where's my thank you?" he said.

"I actually like being in my club, I didn't need you to give me the afternoon off."

"Well change of plans on our date, we are having it today. So quit crying."

"Billy, you can't just decide for me that I'm going to take the afternoon off to go out and do something with you."

"I need you to meet my family," he said deflecting what I said.

"What for?"

"I just need you to go along with it and stop asking questions," he said opening the door leading out of the school for me.

"I'm taking you home, you'll get dressed, then we're going,"

"Should I bow and call you Your Highness while I'm at it?"

"You know, I thought after our talk you'd start watching your mouth with me.", he said giving me a smart ass look.

"You're the one who said you found me interesting because of it, so I don't really see why you care," I said causing him to laugh.

"Just you wait y/n, you'll regret it eventually," I rolled my eyes in response. "My step-sister Max will be here, she's a real pain in the ass like you but I'll be dropping her off at some hick arcade before we go to your place anyways."

I had to bite my tongue. Even though Max was younger, I met her during all the chaos that happened a few months ago in the summer. She told me about Billy then, and I can see now he hasn't changed. I liked Max, and I wanted to rip his tongue out for speaking bad on her.

"You know even if she's your step sister, you don't have to be so cold to her. She's a kid, Billy. Don't be a prude.," He stopped and held me in place by my waist.

"What would you know?", he replied. I about responded, but it probably wouldn't be a good idea to tell him about his sister and I already meeting during last summer's chaos.

"I just meant, in general. Sister or not, you should get the pole that's stuck in your ass out every once in a while," I said confidently.

"Don't call her just my sister. Got it?", he responded holding me firm in my place and once again deflecting the point I just made.

"You could at least be nicer to me, since you're the one who came up with this idea," I said refusing to let the point go.

"Jesus you and her really are similar," he said resuming our walk to his car.

I let out a small laugh, "Yet here we are," I noticed his defenses a little bit, at the sound of my laugh. I was 100% sure he was only dragging me through all this for his own selfish benefit, but I find it strange that he let's down his guard around me even slightly. All I am to him is a fuck surely.

"Max! Get in the back," he yelled out as we approached the car. I'm sure she would have complained, knowing her, but I could tell she was taken back at the sight of me basically wrapped up in Billy's arm.

She tried playing it off, rolling her eyes. She slammed the door getting in and I swear I thought Billy's veins were about to burst.

To my surprise, Billy followed me to the passenger side of the car to open and close it for me. Max shot me a 'what the fuck is going on?' while Billy walked back to his side of the car.

Without looking at her I whispered, "I'll explain later."

Billy got in the car, immediately turned to point at Max, "If you slam my door again I'll break that skateboard in half and you can forget about the arcade," she rolled her eyes and leaned back further in her seat. He glanced at me and sighed, choosing not to say anything else and turned back around.

He flared the exhaust a couple times before whipping out of the parking place, leading us out of the school. We mostly sat in the car in silence with Billy's music on in the background and him occasionally complaining how shit and hick Hawkins is compared to California.

When we got to the arcade he rolled down the window to tell her, "I'm busy today so you better make sure your little friends get you back home before dinner," she waved him off and walked inside with her skateboard in hand.

He turned to me, rolling back up his window, "You see this isn't a one way street now right? Maybe I should have you told her to be nicer to like you told me,"

"You want the directions to my house or not?", I said deflecting.

After more silence other than the Black Sabbath playing in Billy's car, he pulled into my driveway.

"God damn you live in such a shit area"

"Just because you can't go sixty-five on turn that's meant for a thirty miles per hour road doesn't mean I live in a shit area."

"Are your parents home?", he asked as we both exited the car.

"No, it's just me and my dad. He doesn't get home from work till usually late at night," I looked to Billy smiling, "Don't get any ideas," I added.

He grabbed a bag out from the back of his car, passing it over to me when he got close. I looked inside as we began to walk to the front door of my house.

"Clothes?", I asked in confusion.

"I mean look at the way you dress, after seeing you this morning I went and picked out something for you to wear in front of my family."

He was right I did dress pretty plainly. All I wore today was a deep purple long sleeve tucked into a knee length denim skirt. The only accessory I wore was a brown belt to keep the skirt in place.

"Oh so dressing conservative is unattractive now? You didn't seem to mind my style at the party,"

"Yeah you mean that dress that was so tight I could see your bra strap poking out?", he said smiling at the memory.

I blushed from knowing he was checking me out so intensely then, "I dress fine Billy, I don't need you to buy me clothes,"

"Jesus, at least look at it before you complain."

"I'll see it in a minute," I said as we approached the front door. I unlocked it and once inside Billy immediately began to form his judgement. Since my dad worked a lot for the two of us, I kept the house pretty clean for him so at least I didn't have any shame in that.

"Yeah your a hick just like the rest of Hawkins," he said making his way to our fridge. I followed after setting down my things by the stairs.

"That was quick of you to judge," I said crossing my arms. He pointed at some records hung up in a frame on the wall. My dad's old band made some records a long time ago and my dad wanted to keep them pristine, so we hung it on the wall.

"You idealize some music no one's even heard of, trust me I've heard it all," he opened the door to my fridge grabbing some fruit we had stored away in a bowl.

"It's records from my dad's band when he was younger."

"Yeah I bet it's shit hence why you live here," he plopped a strawberry in his mouth and leaned over the counter top.

"You're always so quick to judge everything so negatively," I said as I walked over to him.

"I didn't with you.", he replied snappily.

I could feel myself blush again and I wanted to hide. What he said reminded me how crazy it was that he was interested by me, but here we are. I didn't respond and tugged the bowl of fruit away from him placing it back in the fridge.

"Don't act like you're at home," I said walking back over to the stairs. He followed with a smile, licking his fingers. We got upstairs and I placed everything on the floor next to my bed before sitting on it.

He stood in the frame of my door smiling at me.

"Hello? Can I get a little privacy?", I said taking off my shoes.

"Well I have to be able to judge," he said nodding at the bag of clothes he brought me.

"Ok then wait outside and I'll show you when I'm done."

"I don't think you understand your situation here, y/n," he came and sat next to me on the bed picking up one of my stuffed animals, inspecting it for a second, and then putting it back down beside him, "This is an apology from you to me, and in an apology you have to do things you don't want to normally do," he said walking his fingers down my thigh making my whole body light up from the touch.

"I'd say fake dating someone is something I don't normally do," he laughed in response. Before I could do anything else, he pinned me down to the bed, putting his lips to my ear.

"I told you you'd regret all the bitching you give me," he whispered. He nibbled the top of my ear causing me to flinch in surprise. "How long do you think you can resist me for y/n, especially when you get excited every time I touch you. Did you think I didn't notice?"

I turned my burning face away from him, too embarrassed to respond.

"Just say the word and I'll help you," he whispered as he was rubbing his knee between my legs. I didn't respond, I just kept my face turned away from him. It only took a few seconds of awkward silence for him to get up and walk back up towards the door.

"Your loss, sweetheart. I'll be out here whenever you're ready to show me," he started to walk off before yelling, "Don't make me sit here and wait for ages either."

I could hear him opening doors from down the hall when I finally came back to reality. I then heard a sink turn on and realized he must have found the bathroom. I leaned up feeling like my whole body was on fire. I closed the door to my room while he was away, thinking 'Yeah, fuck Billy Hargrove.'

[juneberrie]

can u do a vance oneshot where thr reader (fem) is his best friend and vance slowly replaces her? u can make up a name for the girl he replaces her with 🤭

BUT LIKE A HAPPY ENDING WHERE HE ENDS WITH THE READER😔😔

(can u tell i like angst)

my nothing

lizzie’s thoughts 💭: i was mentally singing lost in the woods from frozen while writing this so take that how you will lol- also if your name is emily pretend the girl's (in the fic, there's a girl that vance is "replacing" y/n with) name is something else- i just picked the first thing that came to mind sorry-

pairing: vance hopper x fem!reader

fandom: the black phone

warnings: angssstttttttt but with a happy ending, swearing, feelings of abandonment, pet names (babe, angel), soft vance

everyone always says that nothing lasts forever.

i thought me and vance were gonna be different. we've been best friends for years, through thick and thin. every time he got arrested, every time i failed a test, we were there for each other.

he's not here now. he's over there, with that girl. the girl he knows i hate, the girl he knows made fun of me in 5th grade for spilling my juice over her shirt. emily motherfucking townsend.

the townsends are the oldest family in town. grade-a rich, powerful, manipulative, they get everything. especially emily. all she has to do is pout and whine and she'll get whatever she wants.

glaring at the pair laughing and joking, i notice emily slowly stepping closer and closer to vance. he says something, probably another one of his stupid jokes, and she throws her head back in a laugh.

she shoves his shoulder, and glances at me. she smirks and says, loudly enough for me and china to hear, "oh stop it, vancey. you're too funny."

i can't. i grab my backpack and rush towards—somewhere. by the time i stop running, i'm at an empty bus stop. i sit down on the bench and bring my knees to my chest.

he's leaving me just like everyone else. he's probably going to fall in love with her and forget all about me.

it starts raining. at least the sky understands me and is willing to cry with me.

the sound of rain mixes with the sound of my crying.

somebody taps on my shoulder. i look up and there's vance, his fluffy blonde curls getting soaked. he gestures to the bench, at a spot next to me. he doesn't wait for me to answer before sitting next to me.

"you crying?" he asks, staring at the pouring rain in front of us.

"no, its the rain," i sniffle.

"sure it is, babe." he wraps an arm around me. "what's wrong?"

"nothing. vancey." i glance at him out of the corner of my eye. he catches my gaze and turns away, red faced.

"so you heard emily, huh," he sighs.

"yeah. what was that whole thing about?" i mutter.

"i.. don't know. she just came up to me and started bein' all friendly and touchy and— i don't know, y/n."

"you don't know?" he's lying. he has to be. he knows how much i hate emily. he knows what she put me through. living motherfucking hell.

"no, angel, i really don't fuckin' know."

"hmph."

"what, so you don't believe me?" he huffs. he's mad now. he's mad and he's gonna leave and he's gonna ignore me forever and go back to emily and—

vance kneels in front of me and lifts my face from my knees. "hey. i'm not mad at you, angel. i genuinely don't know why emily wanted to talk to me."

"you sounded mad a few seconds ago," i mumble.

"i just— it's just— fuck."

"what?"

"i don't like emily, if thats what you're thinking."

"you.. don't?"

"no, babe. i like you."

the rain filled the silence spilling between us.

"me?"

"you."

he smiles softly, intertwining our fingers.

"fuck, i'm crying again, you ass," i giggle.

"hmm," he murmurs. his hand comes up to wipe below my eye. "there."

"vance?"

his gaze strays to my lips.

"yeah, angel?"

"can i kiss you?"

he doesn't answer and instead presses his lips softly to mine. the kiss explodes a swarm of— no. not even butterflies. the whole entire zoo is running wild behind my rib cage.

we pull apart, both of us smiling like idiots under the rain.

"y'know how people say nothing lasts forever?" he asks, standing up and helping me off the bench.

"yeah?" my eyes flick to his lips again. the lips that taste like vanilla and feel like clouds.

"will you be my nothing?"

[oro-e-diamanti]

The one with the phone calls

Masterlist | Taglist | Ko-Fi

Description | You don't mean to overhear a conversation between the band when Damiano accidentally calls you one evening. But somehow, accidental phone calls suddenly seem to open up a new world of possibilities.

Content | Smut

Pairing | fem!Reader x Ethan

Word Count | 7130

A/N: As usual, thank you for the input and keeping me sane while writing @till-you-scream-and-cry ❤️

***

"Thomas! Move your ass... Thank you."

The voice belonged to Damiano, that much you knew immediately. It didn't come as much of a surprise considering he had been the one to call you. Pressing the phone closer to your ear, you listened more intently, but all that came through for a moment was the sound of a lighter clicking and a loud exhale, probably filled with smoke.

"Now, once again, Edgar, but less chaotic, please. Was that a dream or a fantasy you were talking about? Not that it matters much, sounds like you want to fuck her either way," he giggled.

It was the moment you realised he hadn't actually meant to call you. The confusing start hadn't thrown you off immediately, you knew how they could be, but it was becoming increasingly clear that this was a private conversation and none of them knew you were listening in. You were on the verge of ending the call, leaving them to whatever they were doing, when Ethan spoke up.

"Don't talk about Y/n like that, have some respect, Damiano."

The finger hovering over the red button stopped immediately, as your whole body seemed to freeze in place. Had- had Ethan just said your name? Had he basically just unknowingly admitted he'd had a dream about you? Or a fantasy, or whatever they were currently discussing? Your head felt like it was about to explode at the possibilities.

"Fine, fine," Damiano chuckled. "No disrespecting her. Unless she explicitly consents."

The giggles of Damiano and Thomas were easy to pick up on, you could only imagine the teasing looks they'd be throwing Ethan, who would shake his head in all seriousness and ignore them.

"And it was a dream, just to be clear. Not sure why I should share any of my fantasies with you when you're being like that."

You had to calm yourself not to giggle at the tone in Ethan's voice. Having been his friend for most of your life, you knew how annoyed he could get when they weren't taking him seriously, yet he never managed to stay mad at them, or even learn from it. He would share anything with those two boys, and Vic, now and in the future, and they all knew it.

"Okay, so what happened?" There was a brief pause. You imagined Damiano lazily taking a drag from his cigarette before continuing. "Did you go down on her but she smelled really bad in your dream? Or did she peg you and you suddenly started realising a new kink of yours?"

You had no way of telling what the immediate reaction of everyone was to Damiano's teasing, as you spluttered in shock, quickly moving the phone away to make sure they wouldn't hear and notice you eavesdropping on them. It wasn't any surprise to you how openly they talked, all of you did, but having you involved in this conversation while you were technically not supposed to know about it was a very different story.

"I'm not going to give you details and you know it," Ethan replied with a calm voice. "It's more about the... way I seemed to have stepped over a line by subconsciously imagining her in a certain way without her knowing. Almost like a betrayal of trust within our friendship."

"I can't decide what to focus on, the fact that you genuinely feel bad about that dream or that you've apparently never imagined having sex with her before," Damiano mumbled, awe in his voice.

"Definitely the fact that he never imagined it before," Thomas threw in. "I mean, even I have, she's hot. Don't think there's any harm in it, she doesn't have to know."

What?!

Your mind was spinning so much, trying to take in the information you were receiving, you weren't sure if Damiano made a noise of agreement or if it was all in your head.

They thought you were hot? Out of all people you knew, they were easily the most attractive, most open about sex, most aware of the effect they had on other people and how they could seduce them with nothing more but a wink. And they thought you were hot? Compliment of the fucking century.

"Of course she's hot," Ethan piped up, reminding you that you were, in fact, still listening in. "And I've definitely thought about it. But to imagine it, subconsciously, in that kind of detail? To the point where I was convinced I was feeling it? That still feels like a violation-"

You didn't notice you had hung up until the silence settled in, but a look at the screen of your phone confirmed it. Apparently, your brain had decided it was time to shut off, leaving you to ponder your thoughts and the number of revelations the accidental phone call had brought about. You'd definitely need some time to think things over.

***

You were quite content for Ethan to text you, letting you know he, unfortunately, wouldn't have time to call you for the next to days. As much as you missed hearing his voice, you still felt awkward about what you had heard on the phone before. Mainly because you had been crushing on your best friend for months, maybe years if you really thought about it, and you had no idea how to go on from this. There was no easy way to explain that you had accidentally gotten a butt dial from Damiano and instead of hanging up like a normal human being, you had decided to effectively spy on them.

So, when your phone rang three days later, prominently displaying Ethan's name and a picture of him with a ridiculous pair of heart-shaped sunglasses, your heart was beating out of your chest in a way it hadn't quite done before. Another deep breath was necessary before you picked up, trying your hardest to sound as normal as possible.

"Hey there," you sighed into the phone, immediately scolding yourself for sounding so breathless.

"Y/n! You will not believe the day I've just had."

You had never been happier about Ethan going onto one of his little rants. Where others perceived him as quiet, he let it all out with you, telling stories, explaining whatever he was doing, confiding in you, letting you be a part of everything he experienced, even if you couldn't physically be there. Listening to Ethan as he replayed the day for you, you walked over to the bedroom, the bed way too inviting after being on your feet for hours.

"...and then obviously Damiano had to bring up some weird stuff about me being into aliens again in the interview..."

"Want me to beat him up for you?" You sleepily mumbled into the phone as you sank further into the pillows, blanket pulled up to your neck. A chuckle came through the phone, and you didn't have any problems imagining the slight smile that would be playing on Ethan's face.

"I'll tell you if I require you to do so. You sound tired though, would you rather hang up?"

"No, no, please." You cringed at how desperate you sounded. "As long as you don't mind if I fall asleep, I'd love to listen to you some more."

"Of course, settle in, I'll talk until I don't hear you respond anymore."

Ethan's voice never failed to lull you to sleep. There was something ethereal about it, the carefulness which with he chose his words softening your heart and soothing your mind. It had often been like this, although you much preferred the times he was at home for it. Back when you were kids, he would talk you to sleep from his bed, as you were huddled under the covers on a blow-up mattress in front of it. It had slowly and surely evolved into him simply laying in your bed with you when he was staying over, close enough to get your nerves fired up, too far to dare to do anything about it. Ethan was a gentleman to a fault, something you had always treasured immensely, but it would be a lie to pretend you hadn't dreamed about him simply throwing caution into the wind, pulling you close, and kissing you senseless. It had never happened. Which is why it had, somehow, been even more surprising to overhear the things he had told the other guys.

However, none of that was on your mind at that moment, as all thoughts slowly began to vanish into thin air and your head was full with nothing but Ethan, Ethan, Ethan.

***

You weren't sure what exactly had woken you up when you felt yourself stir. The darkness behind the curtains told you it was still in the middle of the night, yet your body had decided to rouse you from your sleep all the same. You were in the middle of untangling yourself from your blankets when you heard it.

Breathing.

You felt yourself freeze in place, unable to move, trying to regulate your heartbeat and the noises you were threatening to make. The panic was on the verge of taking over your body, but you wouldn't allow it, adrenaline high enough to keep you focused. You needed to find out where it was coming from. From behind? From under your bed? It sounded close.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you forced yourself to concentrate on your hearing to locate the sound. One more deep breath.

It seemed to come from... right next to you - but not from behind you, but in front of you. Confusion briefly muddled your mind, then you heard another, louder sigh, and suddenly you understood that what you had been hearing hadn't been a voice that was actually in the room with you - but one that came through the speaker of your phone.

Searching through the bedding, you quickly found the offending item, a smile spreading on your face as you realised that you had, in fact, managed to fall asleep while on the phone with Ethan. His name brightly shone back at you as you turned the screen towards your face. Apparently, it had worked similarly for him, considering he hadn't ended the call, even though he was clearly done talking.

For a moment you considered giving him a little scare, the same way he had scared you, even if unintentionally, but you knew he needed his sleep. Your thumb was hovering over the red button when you suddenly made out another noise.

Y/n.

Your name.

Was he asleep? Had you once again managed to infiltrate his dreams? But then a groan followed and all of a sudden you knew exactly what was happening. If the increasing moans coming from his mouth weren't always giving it away, the quiet noises in the background had now picked up just enough for you to notice. It sounded like movement. A wet kind of movement.

Ethan Torchio was, without a doubt, jacking off.

Your breath caught in your throat, fascinated by now knowing exactly what each and every one of those noises meant. It was impossible to stop the images from popping up in your mind. Ethan, lying on his bed in some hotel room, white sheets contrasting against the dark hair that was flowing freely onto the pillow. The blanket kicked aside, soft skin over hard muscles on display for no one to see. Laboured breathing, closed eyes, face slightly scrunched up in a mixture of concentration and pleasure. One hand behind his head. The other around his cock, hard and begging for release, moving just enough to make a sound, not enough to get there too quickly.

You only just caught yourself before letting out a moan at the idea of it all. You couldn't believe you found yourself in a situation like this again, first with Damiano's butt dial, now Ethan forgetting to end the call? Both times ending up with things you definitely shouldn't be hearing. Yet, once again, it felt impossible to do the right thing and hang up. To remove yourself from the situation. To stop crossing boundaries and potentially violating his trust and his privacy. And then he moaned your name again, in such a sinful way, that your hand was between your legs before you could stop yourself.

Your thighs were hot against your fingers, all of your nerves already firing up at the sounds reaching you through the phone. His breathing was starting to get uneven, there was a slight break in his movement and - oh god you were convinced you had just heard him spit into his hand before continuing.

Running your fingers along the fabric of your panties didn't last long, your desperate need to touch yourself over hearing him mutter your name yet again overwhelming enough to get rid of your underwear altogether.

"Fuck, Y/N..."

You contained the whimper you wanted to let out so badly with effort. Hearing Ethan getting off was hot enough in itself, but knowing that he was doing it to the idea of you, going so far as to mumble your name in between, left you aching and pulsating. All ideas of behaving in a more morally correct way were out of the window, repercussions be fucked, you'd deal with them later.

Moving your fingers back between your legs, you could feel yourself dripping. This wasn't the time for teasing, you realised as you slid through your folds, biting your lip heavily to keep in the moan when you moved past your clit. But you needed more. The other hand on your breasts, slowly massaging and pinching at the flesh and your nipples, wouldn't do. Pushing a single finger in was easy enough, and the way the movie that was now playing in your head relaxed you enough to let a second one join almost immediately.

You could hear that Ethan was speeding up now, both from his breathing and groaning coming through at a quicker succession, as well as the noise of his hand moving around his dick. You desperately tried to match his rhythm, your mind going into overdrive, imagining it was him slamming into you instead of just your fingers. He was making more and more noises, quite obviously getting lost in his pleasure as he chased his release. Your other hand came down from your tits, impatiently moving over the skin of your stomach and leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake until it reached your pussy. The first touch to your clit as your other hand kept moving had you gasping, then briefly freezing in fear of being heard. Luckily, Ethan seemed too lost in his own arousal to notice. Pushing the fabric of your shirt between your teeth, you tried your best to muffle your sounds as both hands started increasing in speed again.

Y/n, Y/n, please, come on, fuck...

He came unexpectedly - to you at least, having to rely only on what came through your phone - but he came so intensely and loudly that you were sure you were losing your mind. The groan, full of relief, was so clear that you could almost convince yourself he was in the room with you. Closing your eyes, you imagined his cum hitting his stomach, painting it in streaks of it, as he slowly rubbed it out, calming down, revelling in the afterglow.

It was all it took for you. Fingers deep inside you, stroking your favourite spots, your other hand rubbing more intensely on your clit, and you fell apart. A hot feeling travelled through your whole body, endorphins releasing as your legs shook, a loud moan-

A loud moan escaping you.

For the third time that night, you froze, fingers still buried in your pussy, holding your breath. The brief silence that had appeared was quickly disturbed by rustling and crackling coming from your phone, then a voice so close you knew it was because he had found and picked up the phone.

"Y/n? Is that-"

You had never ended a call so quickly.

***

5 missed calls.

Well, six, if you counted the one from Damiano on top of it.

But five from Ethan, in the span of twelve hours.

You needed more time to think before you answered any of them. To come to terms with what had happened, to go through possible scenarios, possible reactions that you would be faced with, and what you would say. All you knew was that you had to apologise. You had broken Ethan's trust, infiltrated a private moment, and he knew about it. You could only imagine what was going through his head now. All you were hoping for at this point was that he wouldn't hate you, or remove you from his life completely.

The phone rang again, this time showing Vic's name. While you weren't sure you trusted Damiano - visions of Ethan talking him into calling from his phone so you would pick up, thinking the singer wanted to have an innocent chat indeed - you didn't see that tactic working on Vic. This one was coming from her personally, you were sure of it.

"Hey."

"Y/n? Oh thank god," Victoria sighed, before apparently moving the phone away a little. "SHE'S ALIVE, NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOTEL ROOM. Right, sorry about that, I'm alone now. Alright, now tell me what the fuck happened."

"What do you mean?" You knew it was a pointless endeavour, yet you couldn't help but try to buy yourself some time.

"Oh, I don't know, the fact that Ethan is freaking out because he can't reach you? After you had some sort of weird thing happening last night that he won't talk about? Listen, I don't know the details, and I won't try to get any out of you, that's between you too. But, for the love of god, talk to him because he's being unbearable and we can't play a show like this."

"Is... Is he mad?"

You weren't sure if Vic's sigh was resigned or annoyed.

"He's worried, from what I can tell, but no, he doesn't seem mad." Her voice was much softer now. "Stop being scared. You've been friends for as long as I can remember, whatever happened won't ruin that."

You weren't quite so sure of that yet.

"I'll make him call you tonight after the show, think things over or whatever you're currently doing, and then talk to him, okay?"

You didn't have it in you to refuse.

***

"I would like you to know that I just played the worst show of my life and it's all your fault."

You felt like crying when Ethan finally called. This wasn't the conversation opener you had hoped for. Not that you necessarily knew what exactly you had been hoping for at all, but it surely wasn't an accusation straight off the bat. You almost ended the call right then and there, not ready for what else could possibly follow this, but instead, you decided to try to be fair to him and at least hear what else he had to say - even if it meant fighting the tears threatening to spill.

"The whole time I couldn't stop thinking about you and what this meant for us. I missed my cue three times, Damiano made a joke about it to everyone, it was embarrassing. I kept having ... flashbacks to last night and I felt so ashamed. I feel like I violated you in a way and I ... well, I wasn't quite sure what exactly you had heard."

"I... what?"

"Did... did you hear your name? I wasn't sure if-"

"I did."

The line was silent for a moment before you realised he was sighing deeply. "Y/n, I'm so sorry, I crossed a line, and I don't know if you can forgive-"

"Did you not hear me?" You couldn't stop yourself from interrupting. "When you picked up the phone again?"

"I heard a noise, which made me realise I fell asleep without hanging up earlier, but then you'd hung up and I assumed... I assumed you were, well, disgusted with me."

You didn't mean to, you really didn't - but the absurdity of the whole situation and the partial relief of knowing that he was too panicked about your reaction to his actions to even think about what your noise had meant, ended up with you erupting in howling laughter.

"I'm sorry," you burst out in between gasps of breath fueling your giggling, "I'm sorry, Ethan. It's just... Listening to you, and then hearing my name last night... Well to be quite honest, you weren't the only one touching yourself."

"Wait-" The tone in his voice was equal parts shocked and surprised. "So you weren't offended? Fuck, I spent the whole day thinking you were disgusted, having caught me thinking about you like that, but..."

"I've known for a few days, actually," you confessed. This was already such a mess, you might as well get it all off your chest. "The other day, when you were talking to the guys... Damiano butt dialled me and I... well, I couldn't help but overhear some things. Like the fact that you had a dream about me."

"Oh, so you've been sitting there the whole time, well aware of my dilemma, and instead of talking to me about it, or easing my mind, like a good friend would, you decide to listen in and get off on it."

It wasn't a question. It wasn't an accusation either. But the way his voice suddenly lowered considerably, all signs of stress and nervousness completely gone, sent shivers down your spine.

"I mean, I-"

"You mean you what?" He didn't give you a chance to explain. "You mean to tell me that you touched yourself until you came, just to the sounds of me jacking off, like a little slut?"

It hit you like a ton of bricks. If you hadn't been sure where he was going when his voice changed, you surely did now. All of your nerves were on high alert at what he had just called you. With a shaking breath, you found yourself lowering your body onto the bed, sitting at the edge of it, trying to steady yourself, to cope with his sudden situation, this game he was obviously willing to play.

"I did," you whispered, voice failing you.

"I should have known. I should have known from the time you walked in on me showering last year, the way your eyes looked me up and down wasn't the same as they had been all those years before, was it? You didn't leave immediately as you should have. And when I confronted you, you got flustered, but in a different way than before. Even then you wouldn't have minded if I'd pulled you under the water with me, would you?"

You couldn't seem to form any words. You were glad to be sitting already because if you weren't, you were sure to be losing the strength in your legs right about now. Somehow, out of the blue, Ethan seemed to have figured it all out. Figured you out. The past year of wondering and daydreaming and yearning, followed by the last few days of questioning and hoping and thinking - all of a sudden, he had cleared it all up. And while you knew that the healthy thing would be to discuss the matter at hand at this point, you were drawn in by the way he was speaking to you now. It was a side of him you hadn't gotten to see, only heard about in passing, but that was now directed solely at you, and you couldn't stop.

"Answer me."

"Yes, sir."

It simply slipped out. It wasn't even something you'd thought about before, but the tone in his voice, his simple command, easily pushed you into this position.

"Good girl," he said and you briefly wondered if he knew he was resetting your entire being with just a few words. Your sex life had been less than spectacular up to this point, and you had mostly spent your early twenties desperately trying to please men who wouldn't do the same for you. You had never even explored anything kinkier than doing it with the lights on, really, and you'd never fully allowed yourself to think about it. But here was Ethan, doing nothing more than aiming at you with just the right words, his voice on the perfect frequency, and you questioned everything you had ever known about your sexual preferences. Because right then and there, you wanted nothing more but to get on your knees for him and let him use you any way he wanted.

"Where are you now?"

"I'm... I'm just sitting on my bed."

"Good. Get comfortable, because this time when you come it will be on my terms."

You didn't even think about refusing. In a heartbeat, you had shuffled back until your back hit the headrest, almost eagerly awaiting further instructions.

"Tell me. Have you been thinking about me a lot lately? Ever since the shower incident? What you'd like to do to me? Or rather what you would like me to do to you?"

The hot flashes travelled over your body, leaving you to breathe heavily at his words and his implications. Everything you had previously tried to push away and ignore, for the sake of your lifelong friendship, was bubbling to the surface with an intensity you hadn't anticipated.

"I've... It's impossible not to think about you, Ethan. Have you seen yourself? Doesn't help when you're walking around topless all the time, and you're throwing me these looks, and I know it was just to tease me, but you wouldn't know the things that did to me, and then you've had girls round and god... I could hear what you were doing to them sometimes, when I was out in the garden with the rest of the guys and I kept wishing that was me. Fuck, how I wanted that to be me."

The words left your mouth in rapid succession, the insecurity and embarrassment of their meaning only catching up with you after they had been said. Suddenly, so many of the thoughts you had successfully kept in your head for so long were out in the open, and the moment it took Ethan to answer felt like a lifetime.

"I thought about you every single time I fucked them." Your legs closed on their own accord, thighs squeezing together desperately, as you gasped at his voice. "Every time I closed my eyes I imagined it was your mouth wrapped around my cock, your tits pressed against my chest, your cunt clenching around me. None of them even came close to you."

There was no hiding in how his words affected you, your heavy breathing easily giving you away. You could feel a pulsating sensation between your legs already, but the thought of touching yourself without him explicitly telling you to didn't even cross your mind.

"Ethan..."

"I used to feel bad about it, you know? Picturing you like that. While you were being my best friend, so sweet, so innocent. But now that I know how much of a slut you are..."

You were sure he could easily hear the gasp you let out, so obviously under his full control already, it would have embarrassed you if it had been anyone but Ethan. Even though this was the first time crossing the line like this, you trusted him explicitly to take care of you, just like he had always done.

"Why don't you tell me exactly what you're wearing right now?"

You briefly looked down at your body, clad in an oversized shirt and less than sexy underwear. For a moment, you considered lying, telling him about some gorgeous lingerie you didn't even own, but you quickly pushed that thought away. This was Ethan. Not only did he know you well enough to see right through you, but you were just starting to be honest with each other. It wasn't the right moment to go back to little white lies.

"That big grey shirt and black panties."

"Sounds like you're overdressed then, because I'm sitting in here in nothing but my boxers. Why don't you get rid of that shirt for me?"

You didn't hesitate. Throwing the phone onto the bed, you pulled the fabric off you, leaving it to drop somewhere next to the bed, before leaning back into the pillows. You could hear a low chuckle through your mobile as you picked it up.

"You're so easy. Put your phone on speaker, you're going to need two hands for this."

"Done," you almost whispered, voice breaking in anticipation as you dropped the phone on the bed next to you. Suddenly awkward, you felt like you had lost any sense of where to put your hands, unsure whether you were supposed to be touching yourself, or just resting, or obeying to some other unwritten rule you didn't know about. Yet, as so often in your life, Ethan knew exactly how to handle you, even without seeing you.

"I would love to be kissing you right now, your lips, down your face, along your neck..."

You barely noticed the way your eyes were closing, fingers trailing along the places he mentioned. Nothing could come close to Ethan actually finally kissing you - of this you were sure - but for now, you'd be happy to hear his low voice through the static, feeling your fingertips against your skin, imagining it was him even a little bit.

"Are you lying down? I bet your tits look fantastic. I remember last summer when Vic convinced you to sunbathe topless. Couldn't keep my eyes off you. Thank fuck for sunglasses."

His talk was disrupted by noises you couldn't immediately pinpoint. Fuck, you wished you weren't separated by miles and kilometres and endless stretches of roads and highways, you wished you could see him right now, touch him, let him make your fantasies come alive. But for now, you would have to do with what he was willing to give you.

"What are you doing?" You asked breathlessly, feeling disconnected at your lack of visual clues of what was happening on the other end.

"Just taking off my boxers to get more comfortable," he chuckled.

"Wait, am I-"

"Don't you dare remove your underwear," he warned, interrupting you before you had even finished your thought, but knowing all too well where you were heading. "You're going to stay exactly as you are until I tell you to do it. Otherwise, our first meeting when I'm back will entail a spanking that's not suited for our first time together."

You could only imagine how much your surprised gasp would please him. He had you in the palm of his hands with his words only, you were convinced you were actually going to perish when he got said hands on you.

"Now listen closely and don't do anything I don't tell you to. Yes?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good girl. Move your hands to your tits for me. Feel them, play with them a little. The nice, soft skin under your fingertips. Pinch your nipples for me. Are they hard yet?"

Your fingers brushed your nipples before pinching them, hard, letting out a pitiful moan at the sensation.

"They've been hard since you called me a slut."

"I should have known you'd get off on that," he growled. "So easy to please. Guess you don't need as much foreplay then, do you? Why don't you move your hands a little lower, over your stomach, to the waistband of your panties... don't you dare move under the fabric yet. I need you to tease yourself for me."

You hated the idea of going slow. Every inch of your body seemed to be on fire, all nerves on high alert. Every little movement of your hips reminded you of how wet you were getting. You didn't need to see or feel to know you were staining your underwear. If you'd been alone, your fingers would already be deep in your cunt, searching for relief, not wasting any time on teasing or foreplay, but Ethan had other plans for you. Who were you to deny him.

"You already got off like a whore the last time we were on the phone, don't think you're getting away with it that easily this time. You're going to go slow, and you're going to do it until you're a begging, sobbing mess for me, understood?"

"Yes, Ethan, please, anything."

With anyone else you would have been embarrassed at the state he had already reduced you to. But not with him, never with him.

"Trace along your pussy over your underwear, cucciola, have you soaked through already?"

The yes leaving your mouth was barely more than a whisper. You weren't lying. Through the fabric beneath your fingers, you could easily feel your wetness, saturating your panties enough to get the tips of your fingers sticky.

"Of course you have. Bet you wish I was there to take them off you. Keep moving your hand while I talk but don't touch yourself yet. I'd tie you to the bed just to make sure you would behave because so far I'm not sure of that yet. I'd go down your body, taking in every inch of you, leaving kisses and bites. I bet you'd love to be marked by me, wouldn't you, amore? Making your whole body mine. Because that's what you are. Mine. I'd be taking those panties off you, pulling them down your legs, slowly, slowly. Do it now. Don't hurry, keep teasing yourself."

You had never been so happy to get rid of your underwear before in your life. Trying to adhere to his rules, you slipped the item over your thighs, knees, calves, until it dropped to the floor at the end of the bed, before lying back down. He hadn't instructed you further, and you'd be damned to do anything without his permission. You knew he couldn't see, but the hold he had was strong enough that you wouldn't dare disobey.

"Fingers on your thighs now, softly enough that you can feel the goosebumps on your skin. Upwards, further, cucciola."

You gasped loudly as your hands found themselves between your legs, fingers softly touching your folds, already on fire, but Ethan was less than impressed.

"Stop."

You let go immediately, hands back to your thighs in unquestioned obedience.

"Did I tell you to touch your pussy, whore?"

"No, you didn't."

"No, I didn't, what?"

"No, you didn't, sir."

"Good girl. You might be a little slut, but you learn quickly. You can touch yourself now, but be aware that I'll have to punish you for real if you make another mistake like that."

You didn't answer him, instead taking his permission to finally let your fingers sink between your labia, feeling the warm wetness engulfing them immediately. You were severely lacking stimulation in the important spots, but the relief of getting your hands on your pussy at all was big enough to have you sighing and moaning.

"Tell me how wet you are."

"I'm so wet for you, sir. It's everywhere, I'm soaked, I can feel it dripping down my thigh and onto the bed."

The satisfied groan he let out, coupled with another noise that had grown a little familiar already, convinced you that you weren't the only one touching yourself at that moment. Images of him once again filled your brain, reminiscent of that last phone call, only this time both of you were well aware of what the other was doing and it had you even more breathless. Knowing that you were turning him on - not just the thought of you, but the way he was telling you what to do, probably imagining what you would look like right then and there, listening to your pitiful answers - had you squirming on the bed.

"Good, you're doing so well for me," he groaned, obviously affected. "Push a finger in, just one, and no touching your clit."

It wasn't nearly enough. Normally, you'd start easy, a single finger enough until you relaxed further, but tonight, with Ethan on the phone, you were so turned on that it barely provided you with any satisfaction.

"Please, sir, please, I need more."

You sounded pathetic, really, but while the idea of presenting like that in daily life made you shudder, you fully let yourself fall and enjoy this role in bed. It was igniting something in you that you'd never fully explored and you were oh so willing to learn.

"Are you that desperate? To already need more? I should have known you were a dirty slut. Come on then, prove me right, get another finger in."

You didn't hesitate in letting another finger join, welcoming the slight stretch, even though the only thing really on your mind was the idea of replacing your digits with his dick. You'd seen it once before, briefly, that time you caught him in the shower by accident, but the image had burned itself into your brain. Having him on the phone now, unquestionably touching himself, you wondered what he looked like now, hard with need and desire, twitching in his hand. The thought made your mouth water. Whatever this was, whatever you were currently doing, it better end up with him naked in your bed as soon as he returned from his band-related commitments. You had never craved anything more.

"How's that then, baby, still desperate for more?"

"Uh-huh," you whimpered, moving your fingers, wishing they were his at least, going faster than he would allow you if he could see, but you tried to keep your voice level. "Wish I could have you."

"Is that what you're doing? Fantasising about my dick? How I'd be pushing into you? You'd probably love to ride me, just bouncing on my cock. Well, it sounds like you need a little more than your fingers right now... Go get something from your nightstand. Don't think I don't know what you keep in there, you regularly forget to close the drawers when I'm over. One could think you were doing it on purpose."

"I- I wasn't, I..."

"You sure about that, you little slut? You were probably doing it subconsciously too, just desperate to let me know. I've seen that pink dildo. You know it won't quite compare to me, but it'll have to do for now."

You almost fell off the bed in your urgency to grab the toy as instructed. You didn't have the capacity to think about what he had seen in your room, what else had been unknowingly on display while he had been around. All you wanted was to follow his orders and be his good little slut. You'd be anything for him right now.

"Tell me what to do, sir," you breathed down the phone, holding the dildo and awaiting further instructions, not wanting to make a single move without his approval.

"Give it a lick, prepare it nicely like you would my cock," he groaned. "And make sure I can hear you when you start sucking on it like the slut you are."

You moved closer to the phone lying next to you in bed, not wanting Ethan to miss a single one of your moves. A lick, maybe two, then greediness took over and had you swallow the tip of what you wished was his dick instead. Noisily sucking it as you pushed more and more of it into your mouth, you freely let the saliva drop from your lips, hoping to make the experience as audible as possible. It didn't take long for you to start bobbing your head, almost choking around the dildo as it hit your throat, finding it harder and harder not to grind against the sheets to get some friction.

"You're loving this, aren't you? Making a mess out of yourself, gagging on a cock that isn't even real. Bet you look gorgeous with spit and tears running down your face." A low groan interrupted his speech briefly, shaky breathing letting you know he was trying hard to hold off. "Why don't you take that out of your mouth and start fucking yourself with it instead?"

"How do you want me?"

"On your back, legs spread, imagining it's me taking you hard."

With a loud and desperate moan at his words, you took the desired position, barely taking a moment to settle before letting the wettened dildo drag down your body and between your legs. You didn't wait for any further explicit instruction, slowly losing your mind with want and need, a fire burning deep inside you, the ultimate craving for relief overpowering you, as you slowly but steadily pushed it inside, moaning heavily at the welcome intrusion, stretching you so much better than your fingers ever could.

"How does it feel, is it everything you need?" His voice was becoming more strained by the minute, noises getting louder before stopping completely and then starting the same cycle again. You imagined him desperately holding onto his dick, tightly enough to avoid coming just yet, biting his lip to the point of blood, slow movements once he deemed them safe, gorgeous hands enveloping his large cock.

"Wish it was you," you sighed as you moved the toy carefully. "Wish it was your cock inside of me, would be so much better, would-" A heavy moan interrupted as you hit your g-spot. "Need your body on me, your hard thrusts, need to dig my nails into your back."

"Fuck yourself harder." He barely seemed to be holding it together now, so close to his own orgasm, arousal prominent in his voice. "Touch your clit, and don't you dare hold back when you come."

It didn't take much more. Roughly moving the dildo into you, you let your other hand travel down until you reached your clit. Where you normally prepared a harder touch, you only needed the slightest stroke across it, and suddenly it all came crashing down on you. Hot, white heat took over your body as you came, shouting his name, clenching your thighs, body stilling as the pleasure washed over you. You barely perceived anything outside of your physical sensations, but then, clear as day, you heard Ethan through the phone, coming with an unrestrained groan, so infatuating and gorgeous.

Neither of you spoke for a while as you slowly came down, breathing still wrecking your chest, a sheen of sweat covering your body. Pulling the dildo out, you winced ever so slightly, but it seemed to be enough to pull Ethan back to earth as well.

"Are you okay?"

His voice was so different now, removed from all dominance and orders, but soft and quiet - you barely recognised it all of a sudden.

"I'm very okay, Ethan."

"Are you sure? I didn't want to go too hard or use any words you weren't comfortable with but-"

"Ethan," you couldn't stop yourself from interrupting. "It was perfect. I didn't know how much I needed that but I haven't come that hard in a while, so apparently, I did."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," he chuckled, relief in his voice. "Hope I can live up to it in real life. If you want me to, that is."

"I'd love to. When are you back home? I might need to see you immediately."

"Three days, baby. Three days and I'm all yours. Then we can talk about everything. I'm not sure if there's a way back from this, but I also don't think any of us really want one, do we?"

"Definitely not," you giggled. "Only forward, please. Wherever that takes us."

***

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[seungstarss]

revelations !! 14 hate

WARNING mentions of self hate. please only read if comfortable

the only thing y/n's body was telling her to do was to run. as dramatic as it sounded, the girl felt as if her whole world came crashing down all at once. quietly excusing herself, she immediately starting running, avoiding anyone she saw. she felt as if thorns were piercing through her skin, making her nauseous. the tears didn't stop steaming down her face, and neither did her thoughts. "why?" the word tormented her. she knew it wasn't kiara's fault for liking jake back, but something— something felt so wrong.

"i have no right to cry," y/n thought to herself. "i shouldn't act like this just because i didn't get my way. i should be happy for them."

"fucking selfish," y/n cursed at herself. "you fucking bitch who can't be happy for your friends and only thinking about yourself. you don't even deserve them. You'd be nothing without them."

the girl's only desire now was to hide somewhere where no one could find her. she wanted nothing but to disappear at that moment and never come back. what kind of friend was she when she couldn't even genuinely congratulate her friend on finding happiness.

her friends obviously loved her so much.

—

"poor y/n," jake mumbled with an upsetting tone. "i hope she's feeling alright"

"i'm sure she's fine!" kiara added.

"what happened to y/n?" a threatening voice demanded. it was the first time heeseung had spoke a single word other than asking to use the washroom. his glare was terrifying, and his tone was almost venomous.

"oh heeseung! she's fine, she just told us she wasn't feeling too well and went home." kiara flashed him a smile as she caressed his arm.

"don't fucking touch me." heeseung hissed.

the boy didn't waste any time, slinging his bag over his shoulder. shoving his classmates aside, heeseung ignored the all words that were repeating in his head. "don't break the rules heeseung. follow the goddamn rules lee heeseung."

"fuck it."

he knew exactly where y/n was. as younger kids, the two used to always hide in the fort at the nearby playground. "their hideout" was their only safe place. y/n usually went there when she was feeling down and heeseung always bumped into her there, trying to get away from his parents who constantly argued. he had stopped going there after they fell out, but y/n never give the spot up.

heeseung arrived in about twenty minutes after stopping by the convenience store to buy y/n a drink. he was right, she was there crouched up in a ball, shaking. his heart dropped at the sight of her in pain. trying to keep in the anger, he approached her slowly.

the only problem though was— heeseung didn't know how to comfort people.

heeseung broke the ice, "you crying over some bitch boy? y/n don't be such a loser." 

y/n slowly lifted her head, eyes meeting with the boy's. this time heeseung got a closer look at her face, eyes red and swollen.

he couldn't help but laugh at her face. "or did you get stung by a bee? or maybe you ate too much ramen yesterday your face got all puffy."

in cases like these y/n would probably scoff at his comments or roll her eyes at the boy. but something in her switched, she was fucking pissed and tired of his words.

"why the fuck are you here," y/n snapped at him, her voiced laced with venom. "you never know how to talk huh? your comments are always so heartless and cruel you know that? it fucking hurts, it fucking hurts okay lee heeseung! let me ask you one more time. why the fuck are you here! if you're here for your false comfort I don't fucking want it. get the fuck out of my face!"

heeseung was taken aback by her words. she was screaming at him, yelling at him from the bottom of her heart. all the pent up anger she had for him exploded.

"i'm sorry y/n," heeseung spoke with a low voice, barely audible. "at least drink this, i'll leave it on the picnic table."

heeseung hated himself for his words. the only thing he felt now was regret as he slowly began walking away.

masterlist

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a/n: i didn't think it would be appropriate to add any text form pics in this chapter. i love pain, hope you guys enjoy aaa

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[zeeroweenies]

he didn’t mean to yell at you, he honestly didn’t.

eren had just been pissed off because of work, and then suddenly some asshole had cut him off on his way home, and then he drove over a fucking nail right outside you, his, and jean’s shared apartment. so when he angrily slams the front door shut, prompting you to excitedly tackle him with a hug and smother him in i am so glad you’re home, missed you so much! and how was your day, honey? and i love you!, he ignores your attempts at physical affection as his frustration reaches its boiling point.

“fuck, y/n!” he yells, causing you to jump. “i just got fucking home, can you let me get into my own damn apartment before begging for attention? you’re so fucking annoying,”

the words are cold and mean, and you still the kisses you had been peppering across his face and stumble back from his chest. you look up at him, eyes already watering as you process his words, how genuine he sounded, not teasing or just trying to get you upset.

you’re so fucking annoying.

he watches as your face crumbles with hurt, the weight of his words catching up to him.

“y/n, baby,” eren scrambles, eyes full of panic and remorse as he reaches out for you. “i’m sorry, fuck i didn’t mean that, i’m so fucking sorry, i didn’t mean any of that”

but you’re already running into your shared room, hiding your face in your arms and choking down sobs. the door locks with a gentle click, and eren lets guilt and shame pull his arms over his face and his legs onto the couch.

fuck.

-

you refuse to come out of your room, despite his apologies and pleas and promises to make it up to you. he only sees you again when jean comes home and you rush into his arms, eyes red as you clutch onto a stuffed animal.

“baby, baby,” jean coos, gladly holding you against his chest, one hand gently petting your hair. “what’s wrong? what happened, why are you crying?”

you mumble incoherently into him, but he’s able to pick out eren, and yelled at me. he can barely hear it when your voice breaks when you let out a soft annoying.

jean looks up at the man of the hour, who stands leaning against the wall, watching the whole thing fold out. his arms aren’t crossed nonchalantly, and he doesn’t roll his eyes nor sneer at your wails as he usually does when you complain about him to jean. he stands with wringing hands and something soft and regretful in his eyes.

“what the hell happened, eren?” jean asks, a coldness in his voice eren isn’t used to. of course, jean isn’t used to seeing you actually, genuinely hurt over something eren does.

eren’s mouth goes dry as he tries to explain.

he sleeps on the couch for the next two nights, as gently suggested by jean.

two nights and three days after, you wake up to flowers by the bed, and a note that says "i am sorry, my love. i shouldn't have yelled at you, i promise it won't happen again. you're not annoying, i am, and i am an idiot sometimes. i love you," in pretty handwriting. your heart swells, and then explodes when you see the little gifts eren has scattered across the house. a winged puppy plushie in the living room, attached with a note that reads "you're my angel," a bag of your favorite snacks on the kitchen table, and that new video game you've been wanting on the tv console. and then another note taped to the door, reading "y/n and eren's day out," and a ten line list of all the things he plans to do with you that saturday- just you and him.

that day he greets you with kisses and i love you's when he comes home from work, and he apologizes again for hurting your feelings, before softly asking if you can forgive him. you press kisses onto the crown of his head, hands moving his hair out of his eyes, the tenderness making his heart swell and tears threaten to brim at his eyes. "of course i forgive, you," you respond, and your voice is so sincere and true that he doesn't stop himself from pulling you into his chest.

later, eren will watch you stick his "you're my angel," note onto the fridge with two half broken magnets, and then listen with a small smile when you excitably show all your gifts to jean and talk about all the things you're going to do together saturday. and he'll try to ignore that feeling in his chest, soft and painful. that feeling that gently but ignorably tells him that he's in love, he's in love, he can't push it away, he's in love, fuck he's in love.

[ there was absoluty no reason for me to write this. its soft eren hours. ]

OMGGG THANK YOU FOR THIS IT GOT ME SOFT FOR EREN NOW,,, the part where he called us annoying had me sad ngl🥲 but then he makes it up to us and showing that he rlly does care has me🥺🥺 like how can I not forgive you when you act like this😣 (and him calling us angel got me going feral DFHFH)

(ik this is a late ass reply but thank you for bearing with me😭)

[rywritten]

psst, heard your request are open >-< uh, i donʼt know if itʼs for a fanfic or a fanart but uhm, butterflies by abe parker? *crawls away*

hi mimi :D my requests are for fics and drabbles only, but if you wanna request for fanart, then i highly recommend checking out rin's (@draw-rin) pinned post!

and since there wasn't a specific ship given for this one, i went and chose dreamnap bc the lyrics of the song gave off a childhood friends to lovers type of vibe (hope you don't mind)

Am I the only one that's catchin' butterflies?

Am I a moth in your flame?

Do you burn the same when I

Look in your eyes?

Do you get butterflies?

There are times when it gets particularly bad. When Sapnap feels more than the usual love and adoration one would give towards their best friend, or when Dream does something that would remind him of just how perfect the other boy truly is.

It terrifies Sapnap to no end.

It makes him remember how his mother always told him not to step too close to the fire – he was too curious, too young to really understand the danger, you’ll burn.

Sapnap used to listen without questioning, no matter how much he wanted to feel the fire's warmth, or touch the beautiful glowing ember. His mom was always right. But it's now, when he’s a head taller than her, with shoulders that can fill up even his father’s suits and more, that Sapnap learns.

You burn even if you’re not too close to the flame. You can even burn inside-out.

Dream comes over in the afternoon. They study, play video games and watch movies like the old times, like a sense of normalcy has been returned to Sapnap in compensation for the pain of suddenly realizing he's been in love with his best friend for years.

Their fingers brush when the two of them reached for the remote control at the same time and Sapnap all but drops the device like he's touched an open flame. 

"You okay?" Dream asked, concern written all over his face like he isn't the cause of Sapnap's distress.

"Yeah." He answered far too quickly, praying the sound of his racing heartbeat can't be heard in their proximity.

"You can tell me what's on your mind, Sap." Dream pushed the issue further, going as far as to hold his hands and the contact is enough to ignite something inside Sapnap's lungs.

"Im your best friend." Dream adds, sincerity seeping into his voice, into his touch, and making Sapnap feel every bit like a small woodland creature caught in a forest fire.

That's the problem. Sapnap wants to tell him.

I don't want to just be your best friend.

"I'm fine." He forces the words out, doing his best to smile as genuinely as he could.

Dream doesn't believe him for a second.

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" The question was asked so softly that if Sapnap wasn't so accustomed to the sound of Dream's voice, wasn't always so hung up with everything he says, maybe he wouldn't have heard it at all.

But he did, and the question was enough to break his heart for an entirely different reason.

"Because it would change everything."

"What are you talking about, Sap?"

"I'm in love with you." The words are out of his mouth before he could even register what he was saying and for a horrific second, everything stopped.

The world was at a standstill. Nothing moved, and the silence that followed such a confession weighed heavily between the two of them.

He fucked up.

He had been too careless and now he's ruined everything.

Sapnap sort of wants to cry or maybe set something on fire.

But before he could even begin to lament on his loss and the possibility of living a life without Dream in his life, his best friend was already reaching for him, soft pale hands guiding Sapnap's face towards his own to connect their lips together.

The kiss did more than ignite a warmth inside Sapnap's chest, it had set his entire body on fire. There are hundreds of suns exploding inside his lungs from a single brush of lips and Sapnap found himself unable to care.

He knows what it means to burn. He's experienced it firsthand and will continue to do so if it meant getting to have this with Dream for the rest of his life.

"Took you long enough, idiot." Dream whispered after the kiss, but his smile is beautiful and contagious, and there's a glint in his eyes that promised danger– of burning.

And while his mom had always told him to be careful of the open fire, Sapnap soon realized that he'd always been weak for it.

After all, Dream's the closet thing to a forest fire Sapnap's ever had the pleasure of meeting.

[ceoofuwu]

𝐔𝐍𝐁𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐒 ;; 𝘮𝘪𝘺𝘢 𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘶 𝘹 𝘧.𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: 𝟐.𝟏𝐤

𝐀/𝐍: so, this is the first Atsumu scenario! I'd literally give up my life for this man, I CAN'T HOLD BACK. Tho it turned out quite dark... I guess I made amends for it with the happy note in the end, then?

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: living with the Miya twins definitely means throwing party every once in a while and painting the town red... but what if, just once, things spiral out of control?

𝐓.𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 18+ content ahead; mentions of sexual intercourse, unwanted/non-planned pregnancy, cursing. Suggestive themes.

Another wave of nausea washed over your body, making your guts twist with the unpleasant feeling of food hastily gushing out of your body.

You arrested your head further buried in the toilet, hands clutched tightly around the sides, mind flooding with hazy memories of last night’s events, as a stamp of warmth came in contact with your back.

  Sloppy, heated kisses along the sensitive area of your neck were sending shivers through your entire body, which was being ravished by pleasure.

«Come on, baby…» he whispered against your ear, your lobe caught between his teeth, «I’ll be gentle».

  Atsumu rubbed soothing circles on the broad surface of your back, crouched beside your weakened figure, the warmness of his palm eager to drive your fatigue away.

You had been sharing a home with him and his brother for quite some time now, the latter merely staying to keep you company and lend a hand with the loan. Showered with independence as you were, throwing parties every now and then was only natural. However, it wasn’t always completely kept under control.

«Drank too much, didn’t you?» he asked softly, worryingly, while his hand came to gently wipe your mouth with a small-sized towel he had fetched.

«I doubt I drank as much as you did, Tsumu…» you sighed, «… but I still don’t think that’s the proble—« your statement was cut off by your body pushing up another round of fluids.

   Your back arched at the intolerable amount of rapture that was shaking your entire being, «M-more…! Atsumu…!»

«More?» he smirked, looking at you with devilish eyes then throwing your legs over his broad shoulders and thrusting even more forcefully this time, his bare cock hitting spots in depths it had never been before.

   He remained silent the whole time, standing by your side, lightly pulling your hair back and continuing to soothe you with his rubbing patterns, his heart aching at the sight of your body completely cleaning itself out, leaving you fully worn out in its wake.

You lifted yourself slowly, making sure there was no other round coming then snatched the towel out of Atsumu’s hands hastily and wiped the stains of puke clean.

«You were saying…?» he asked, his eyes carefully following your movements to the sink, where you rinsed your mouth out.

«I don’t think it’s only drinking that got me like this…»

«What do you mean?»

«You weren’t particularly cautious last night…»

   You were a complete and utter mess by now; body coated in sweat, quaking with overwhelming ecstasy, burning with the need for more friction, for the touch of your lover, who was mercilessly pounding in and out of you, gaining momentum with every push.

You could feel him twitching inside of you, meaning he was close to his peak, so you were already preparing for the pull out but, with a loud, lengthy groan against your clavicle, you only felt a new-found kind of warmth spreading inside of you instead.

«You feel so damn good baby…» he croaked, burying his face in the crook of your neck, his hot breaths tickling the sensitive area, while he was gradually climbing down from his high.

What with all those surges of bliss washing over you and the influence of alcohol you were under, you didn’t care as much as to realize the severity of what had just happened.

  «You don’t mean…» his voice trailed off, amber eyes widening with surprising realization.

The grave shadow cast upon his face was gone with a mere shrug of his shoulders.

«I do. There’s a high chance, Atsumu».

«I guess we’ll have a little brat crawling around the house in a few months then» he chuckled.

This was one of the few times in your life when you actually couldn’t believe in your ears. He couldn’t be talking seriously. He was deadpanning. Could he be that childish?

«Are you even in your right mind?! Do you happen to have even the slightest idea how serious this is?! What responsibilities it requires?!» you shouted, taking aggressive steps towards him, «How are we supposed to raise a child when you can barely fend for ourselves?» your index daringly poked his chest, look glowing with fury, «What makes you think I’d even want a child growing inside of me, huh?» you spurted out, words dripping with the bitter truth.

«We’re not even 100% sure you’re pregnant» he replied calmly, not allowing the burden of guilt weigh down on him.

«So you’re just going to hang onto a possibility? Is this your way of self-defense?» your tone stayed high on decibels, continuously shooting the blonde with arrows of qualm, but triggering his anger simultaneously.

His thick eyebrows came to a frown, a dark hue of irritation cloaking his face, blood boiling with rage. Deep down, he was well aware of the fact that he had been careless and therefore brought by this outcome, but at the same time he wanted to explode. All this unwavering accusation made him see red; and he didn’t particularly excel at his keeping his temper in check.

He didn’t care about neither your reaction nor the impact his words would have on your already heated argument because he honestly needed anything to fire back, when he spat out:

«It’s not my fault you can’t control what’s going in and out of your cunt».

SLAP!

Your palm clashed with the tender skin of his cheek, the sound of skin finding skin echoing in the empty room. At that point, you genuinely believed that there was no other way to back fire him; he had completely crushed your defenses with that mere line of his. Your heart was shattered to thousand pieces, like a fragile piece of glass thrown madly at the floor.

However, you still had some remaining strength for a finishing blow.

«I should have seen this coming. You always run away from your responsibilities, like the immature toddler you are. You don’t give a fuck about other people’s feelings, do you? All you care about is to feed and satisfy your own, insatiable ego!» you yelled, coming to realize that there are actual tears streaming down your face, but not minding at all the reason for their appearance, «…because that’s just what you are, Atsumu. An immature, egotistical pig».

His almond-shaped eyes widened in shock his body aching with the sensation of something having pierced through his chest. He wanted to yell, curse, break—no, destroy something. His madness was getting the better of him but even so, he somehow stopped dead on his tracks upon hearing that cruel utterance. His stare travelled on your form, inspecting your exhausted state, pity feeling him to the brim. Was this really what you thought of him? Was he truly the one that had you messed up like this?

His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden opening of the bathroom’s door. His twin brother walked in, wearing an expression of confusion and worry as his grey orbs fell on you.

«I can hear you screaming from the living room… is everything… o… kay? Why are you—« his gaze immediately pinned his brother, «--why is she crying?» he demanded.

Atsumu lowered his head in shame, glancing down at his feet, desperately struggling to avoid his brother’s uncomfortably scrutinizing look. One the one hand he had no clue how he was supposed to explain the situation, but on the other, he couldn’t exactly step back from it.

«Ιt’s… none of your business…» he murmured.

«I don’t think he heard you, Atsumu.           Speak up a little. Tell him how your stupid, little ass fucked everything up again».

«What is she talking about, Tsumu?» Osamu’s facial expression was died in puzzlement, «Talk!»

«…you might become an uncle» he muttered reluctantly between gritted teeth.

«What?!» his look hopped between the two of you impatiently, not landing on anyone in particular.

Of course he was taken aback. How could he not be? Atsumu can be reckless from time to time yet, that seemed too surrealistic even for a person that knew him so well.

You were quite lost in your own concerns, which prevented you from noticing that Osamu had hastily and offensively grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, shaking him furiously.

«I always knew you were a stupid and annoying brother but I was hoping you’d be at least tolerable as a boyfriend!» he shouted in the other twin’s face, knuckles whitening at the tightness of his grip.

You’d usually laugh your heart out whenever the twins were fighting but this time the ambiance was too intense to allow even the slightest curl in your lips.

«We don’t even know if she’s accurately pregnant, you asshole! She hasn’t had a fucking test yet!» Atsumu roared back in exasperation.

Osamu’s features were completely painted with a mixture of bewilderment and realization, «She hasn’t?» his peek drifted to you and you shook your head in the negative.

«Well then…» he let go of his brother with a push, «…I’ll be back» he spoke, turning to leave the room.

«Where the hell are you going?»

«Where you should have gone from the beginning».

Thanks to Osamu, a light smile made its way to your lips. However, it was swiftly taken away by Atsumu’s murderous, disgusted glare. You answered to it with an identical one, not wanting to show him how much your heart was practically broken by that moment.

When he finally walked out of the bathroom, you made sure to lock the door he had harshly slammed behind him, before your body automatically slid against it, eventually collapsing on the floor

«Ugh, why does it take so freaking long?» you whined silently above the pregnancy test.

Before you knew it, your already pallid face was stained with tears once more, your hands rushing to cover your mouth and muffle your perpetual sobs as you succumbed entirely to the pain that was nested in your chest, waves of dejection, wrath and numbness hitting you relentlessly and unstoppably, letting you solely rot into the melancholy of anticipation….

Thankfully, Osamu had came back mere minutes ago with five tests in his hands, all of them produced by the same company. You explained that there was no need for so many, but seemed like Samu had quite freaked out so he couldn’t help himself. You had hastily snatched the tests and run off to the bathroom again, not paying to attention to what Atsumu was doing.

You would deal with him later, either way.

«Don’t be positive, don’t be positive…»

For about ten minutes straight, you were running conspiracies in your mind, attempting to calculate every possible outcome. If Atsumu was indeed the father of your child, then that… made also Osamu a dad? They’re literally the split image of each other so be it biological or adoptive father would practically make no difference. Which meant that if Osamu had kids—

«Are you… alright in here?» the door opened ajar and a familiar head slightly, almost timidly, protruded.

«Oh, now big, scary Atsumu isn’t mad?» you jibed.

Atsumu slid in, gently closing the door behind him and heading towards you.

«Look, I…» his eyes moved to the floor, afraid to encounter yours, «…I didn’t mean what I said… really, I uh…» you failed to suppress a light giggle at his miserable attempt to swallow his pride, «…I’m sorry, okay? Stop mocking me! And I’ll take care of our child…! If we have one, I mean…» you glanced at the test one more time to see if anything had changed and your eyes widened in surprise.

«Atsumu».

«…and I’ll do anything, I’ll cook even without setting the kitchen on fire I—«

«Atsumu!»

“Just don’t be mad at me okay? I’ll even change the baby—«

«ATSUMU!» you yelled, also making awkward hand signals that made no sense to earn his attention.

«What?»

«You won’t have to change any baby! Nor take care of it!»

He lifted his eyebrow in confusion, «We are getting a babysitter?»

«There’s no baby you idiot! I’m not pregnant! I’m not---« a silent sob cut off your sentence.

«Hey, wait, why are you crying?» Atsumu’s hand rested on your flushed cheek, his thumb swiping away a tear that came unbidden on your beautiful face.

«I don’t… know…» you spoke weakly and then immediately dived in his arms, clutching him to the point of asphyxia and probably clawing his back, while burying your wet face on his chest, where you were bawling your eyes out.

«It’s over now baby…» he whispered, planting a soft kiss on the crown of your head and rubbing soothing patterns on your back, «…take it all out».

Deep down, there was still a lingering ray of hope praying that you had actually that unbidden seed inside of you… it wouldn’t be catastrophic…

Hope you enjoyed! Leave a heart, comment, reblog! 💕

[brideofcthulhu10]

I promised you guys I'd whittle something out before the end of the day! (Currently its 11:30 here, so I made my deadline lol) So here's a bit of drama and fluff. Every couple fights, even vampires, but the most important thing is to take responsibility for your actions and communicate. With that in mind, I give you: 

Lost Boys Make Their Fem!S/O Cry During a Fight

CONTENT WARNING: Sexual Themes, Possible Triggers, Topics of Physical and Verbal Anger

David

David is not known to mince words in any scenario, so you can bet that means he chooses an s/o who can handle his bluntness. The same could be said for your fights. Unlike Dwayne and Paul, David rarely yells anymore. Instead he's harsh, cold, and what he says often hits very hard. He doesn't tip toe around when he's calm, you can damn well bet he isn't going to be considerate when you tick him off. He can be quite jealous at times, but often it doesn't lead to a fight. Admittedly he can be a tad petty as well, but getting genuinely enraged towards you is not as common. A spat is one thing, but a serious fight can get ugly fast. He is almost jolted when he hears a sharp breath muffled under your hand. Hell he's only ever heard you make that sound during sex, and this was definitely no time to be turned on. He'll turn around and see you with your hand over your mouth trying to hide your shame and feel ungodly levels of guilt. 

David's words are harsh, and when you turn out of the room he's still sitting there utterly flabbergasted that you had such a tearful expression. After all, you had to know he didn't mean it..right?

David will definitely sulk, he hates admitting he was wrong. Not necessarily because he thinks he's in the right for being cruel, but rather he's sure you just need space and then things will get better. He'll expect you back any day... So when you don't, he kind of goes into denial and will wait, and wait… and wait... 

The guys stopped asking about you because every time he hears your name mentioned he grows more pissed off. Eventually he explodes in a rage, which is extremely rare for David.

"So uh.. about Y/N-"

"Why isn't she back yet?! This is stupid, she should know that I don't mean it!"

"Hey, David, man why don't you go talk to Y/N? I sure if you-"

"No! If she wants to stay away, fucking fine! Good riddance!"

Truthfully he's upset. Beyond that, really. He feels awful for making you cry, he's afraid you might hate him now, but he doesn't know how to approach the situation. Apologizing is difficult, to David it's a form of defeat and a part of him doesn't want to face that it's his fault you're gone. 

Eventually he caves in after a week and a half. He misses you like crazy! The guilt gnaw at him to the point that he can't sleep, he can't think straight. Even blood begins to have a bitter taste to it. 

It'll be a late night, closer to 3 am when he just silently appears in your room. If you're asleep he'll just stand there and watch you for a moment. Mostly trying to build up enough willpower to do what he's about to. 

Expect his apology to be kind of crappy. At least, at first. It'll come off as angry, even a bit misguided just because he really hates admitting he fucked up. But when he does, it's the most sincere, heartbreaking moment of your relationship. He may have to turn away from you and shut his eyes before any tears tempt his cheeks. You can't see him like that. Tears means he's getting emotional, that means he's growing attached, and attachment… it's a weakness. When he's weak and attached, people die. 

He lost a love before because he couldn't protect her, he's lost his brothers once because he got careless and underestimated his enemy, he can't lose more. 

Once he apologizes and you come back to him, he's a bit more attached to you physically. He'll hold you from behind with his chin on your shoulder while sitting on his bike, have you sit on his lap at the hotel, even on the boardwalk he's become more open by holding your hand. He isn't ready to say the big "L" word just yet, so this is the most he can muster. Whenever he's too harsh now he'll apologize by hugging you to him. David is still scared of getting close, but he's more afraid of pushing you away from his lack of filter.

Dwayne

It takes a lot to ruffle Dwayne's feathers, so already he's not one to be careless with his words. Unfortunately once he's pushed to that point all bets are off. This usually dismissive vampire of little words becomes an eruption of rage. A lot of it is physical. He'll throw a table or punch a hole in a cement wall. He doesn't mean to scare you. When he gets that worked up he becomes unbelievably tense, almost his body's way of warning you not to push him. With fangs out, standing in the wreckage of his rage he'll pause to see you failing to hold back a mess of tears and immediately stops.

At that point he's exhausted. Rage takes a lot out of him, in the end he just feels flustered and a bit ashamed for losing his cool. The longest a fight lasts is maybe a day or two, usually you give each other space but once he's made you cry that's a different story.

Even if you started the fight he recognizes he shouldn't have done what he did. Temper or not, that's not an excuse to blow up at you. He'll be frustrated with himself for losing grasp of his emotions, and he'll probably take some time to think over his words before trying to solve the issue. It's hard to look at someone else's point of view when you're pissed off at them, he knows that better than anyone. Especially since he grew up with siblings before becoming a vampire. When he's got a good grasp on himself he'll probably try to settle things with you so that you two can get things back to normal.

"Y/N… come here, please," he'll say softly, patting the seat next to him on the couch. As soon as you do, he slings his arm around your shoulder and yanks you into his chest. He doesn't look down at you or say a word, he'll rest his chin on his fist looking straight ahead searching for the right words. If it was a mutual argument he'll explain his own point of view after apologizing for losing his temper, and when it's your turn he'll listen quietly. If it was on him, he's even more remorseful. He's reaching almost a hundred years old by now, he should know better. Truthfully he had the same issue when he was alive, but he never meant to drive you to tears. You'll both sit quietly together on the couch, Dwayne rubbing your back until you've calmed down. After all is said and done he'll tell you how much he loves you, he doesn't want to leave any negative feelings still in your heart. Relationships are a pain, he knows that, but he cares about you more than his own life. 

Paul

Oh when you two go at it the gloves are off! Paul is the most emotional of the group, so when he gets mad all he sees is red. There will be a massive amount of yelling, he may even be fighting back some tears himself. He'll get physically frustrated, punching walls, throwing furniture, kicking things over. Yes, he might get in your face, and you can definitely expect him to bare his teeth at you. Especially if you're in his face too. By now it's not scary, just even more infuriating that he's trying to make to back out using intimidation. 

When you cry it can go one of two ways. It really depends on the context of the fight.

If you started it, or it was a mutual argument he may storm off somewhere in the cave. To him crying can be a cheap tactic to make him feel guilty, so if you've done it when you've done something wrong it upsets him… even more so because he feels like crap! He hates fighting with you! You're his kitten, his babe, regardless whether or not you started the fight he feels terrible seeing you like that. He's just so damn frustrated! After mellowing out with a thick ol' stick of the devil's lettuce he'll sulk out with his hands in his pockets. If you're still there he'll plop next to you and explain why he was so ticked off. Granted, it isn't exactly eloquent the way he puts it. After all emotions are tricky, he doesn't always know how to express himself verbally. If you've already left and it's still night, he'll fly over to your place and try to settle things with you. He doesn't want to go to bed angry at you, and he definitely doesn't want you going to bed upset with him.

If the fight was started by him, or if you're genuinely upset he'll stop. Especially if your tears are from him hurting you. Then it's all love. He sets aside his temper, and pulls you into his arms. It'll take a moment for him to calm down, but it's just a plethora of tender apologies while he holds you.

"I'm sorry kitty-cat," he coaxes you, holding your head to his chest. "Don't cry, okay? I hate it when you cry." 

If you aren't emotionally drained there'll probably be a lot of make-up sex in either situation. Once you two have made up, he wants to do everything he can to be close to you. Plus, he needs a release as well. Afterwards, he'll snuggle up to you still wearily mumbling apologies under his breath. 

Marko

Anger isn't a common emotion for Marko. Well, unchecked rage that is. He can get a little irritated, but it really takes a lot for him to lose his temper. Even still it's closer to David's methods than Paul. Again it's the context. If you've done something wrong or started the fight he'll be more prone to outbursts. 

While you're screaming at him, in his face he'll just watch you silently with a blank stare. On the surface he's calm. There's not a lot of yelling, but there can be some physical rage if you really push him. Marko would punch the wall and leave a crumbling chasm in his path, reminding you what happens when he's pushed too far. Truthfully he'd never put you in harm's way, but when he gets like this it's hard for him to stifle his predatorial rage that tends to poke through the cracks. 

If he's the one who's upset with you, even if it's on him, he probably won't let on at first. While not petty, he'll seem distant from you. In public he'll yank you to him like a wolf warning others to stay away from his mate, but alone in private won't touch you as much. You may try to ace your hand on his shoulder and he'd immediately excuse himself from the room to sulk. If you really get clingy he grows even more agitated and will have very rough angry sex with you, his fangs may even come out in the process. Especially if he's jealous.

 When you cry, it sucks. During a fight, after jealous defiling, when he intimidates you, it just sucks. If you step away from him he knows he's messed up. 

Part of him doesn't want to cave in so easily to your displays of emotion, but if you're legitimately hurt by his actions he'll just let out an exasperated sigh. He may excuse himself verbally for a moment to try and gather his thoughts, or he'll sit you down and try to explain his reasons for being so enraged. If it's on him he'll carry you to the couch and hold you to him. 

"*sigh* Look.. I'm sorry for going overboard the way I did, baby girl. I shouldn't have done that…"

If you cry after sex he'll feel like an utter asshole and hold you tight to him. He'll pet your hair, rub your back, even offer to let you smack him for being such a jerk. He may try to nibble your neck over kiss you until you start to giggle then give you his signature smile.

"There she is. I'm sorry I made you so sad, baby girl."

In all honesty this isn't a common occurrence. Marko still rarely ever gets mad at you, most of the time he's very laid back. So losing his temper is a bit jarring for him as well. He's never sure what will come out when he loses his temper, which is a huge reason why he does everything he can to keep himself in check. You may be a pain in the butt sometimes, but so can he. And above all, you're his pain in the butt. He still loves you more than anything at the end of the day. 

[cherrytdatt]

Sadness Ritual pt. 3

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: ~3.6k

Summary: Will Harrison's engagement party solve things between Y/N and Tom?

Warnings: N-O-T-H-I-N-G!

A/N: PART 3 IS HERE!!! after struggling a lot I finally did it. Part of this was inspired by the engagement scene in 'set it up' also know as my favorite rom-com ever so think about that vibe! I hope you guys like it. I really liked.

Playlist: No playlist...I heard so many things...It was a rollercoaster!

Part 1 | Part 2

Three months ago, at 3 am, Tom stood in your kitchen and said the words you wished for months to hear from him. And yet, you felt your entire chest hurt, and you couldn't look at him. You sent him home, and since then, you didn't see him again. But now, the inevitable was coming. Anna and Harrison's engagement party is in one day. You're the maid of honor, and Tom is the best man. Anna asked you if you would be okay seeing him again and, to be honest, you don't know, but it’s her engagement party. You won't deny the presence of her fianceé's best friend and best man.

"Ready for the party?" Anna asked while you two looked at some dresses in some store.

The party would be something small, just family and friends, in Tom's backyard. You wanted to help, but going to Tom's house, knowing he would be there, wasn't in your plans.

"Yeah! I'm so happy for you. And Harrison. Since your first date, I knew you two would get married," you said with a smile. "I remember I said I would be a shitty maid of honor," you said with a laugh. "And Tom said he would be a great best man," your smile faded a little when you thought about Tom.

"Did you talk to him?" Anna asked, already knowing the answer.

"No," you said simply.

"Harrison said he's feeling better, but still misses you," Anna said with a weak voice.

You cleared your throat. "I miss him too," you said almost in a whisper.

"Why don't you talk to him?" she asked.

"I don't know. Things got pretty bad between us. I'm still sad with him, and I'm sure he is sad with me too," you said, and the sadness in your voice was almost palpable.

"I'm sure he forgave you. And I think you already forgave him. You're just afraid," she said.

"Maybe. Let's see how mad I'll be when I see him tomorrow," you chuckled, but your voice was still sad. "D-do you...hum...do know what happened...to the girl?

"Oh, please! He ended things with her the morning after your fight, and never saw her again," Anna said.

"What you think of these?" you asked, putting a black floral dress in front of you, and changing the subject to hide how happy that information made you.

"Loved," she said animatedly.

"I'll try it," you said, going into the dressing room.

You didn't wanna think about Tom and all the situation now, but the talk with Anna got stuck into your head. 'He still misses you'. Her voice was louder and clearer than when you talked. You decided to buy the black dress for Anna's party. Thank God she chose a very casual party, so you could go with comfortable clothes.

"I see you tomorrow," Anna said goodbye, leaving you in front of your building.

You got into your apartment, still thinking about your talk with her. You missed Tom, more than anything in your life, but every time you thought about those pictures, and the fact that he did all that even though he liked you, you felt a strange and bitter feeling in your stomach. All you wanted was to talk to him and solve things, but you felt so afraid of what he would do and what he was willing to do to make things better. 

You used the rest of your night writing some essays you had to finish this week and watching some comedy on TV.

'Hey. How are you? I just wanna say that I can't wait to see you tomorrow. And I want you to know that I'm cool if you decide not to talk with me. I just want you to be okay 🙂' Tom's message took your attention away from the TV. You stared at the text, not knowing what to say. Of course, you wanted to see him, but talk to him would be the best thing? You really didn't know.

'Hi. I'm great. And you? I'm okay talking to you tomorrow,' you typed, throwing the phone on the other side of the couch like it was a bomb ready to explode. "Fuck!" you said, noticing the smile that appeared in your face.

'I'm good. That's good. I miss talking to you. How crazy it is that our friends are getting married?!@#$' The bleep from your phone made you smile again, and you reached for it, reading his text.

'Crazy as shit! We're not old enough for this,' you ignored the first half of the text on purpose. You missed him, but you weren't ready to let him know that yet.

'I keep saying this to Harrison, but he doesn't listen to me lol. But they love each other very much. Harrison showed me his speech, and I cried like a baby,' he said, and you laughed, remembering how easy it was for him to cry. He had a playlist just for that.

'Well, It's not that hard to make you cry lol. I chose not to hear Anna's speech. I wanted to be a surprise,' you confessed. She told you it would be very emotional, so you decided to enjoy with everyone else at the party.

'I don't cry that easily. I didn't even cry in my last movie,' he said, and you remembered you didn't watch the movie with him because the release happened when you were not talking.

'Congratulations on the movie, btw. I heard it's very good,' you said, confessing you didn't watch it. The real reason for you not to watch you weren't confessing. You didn't wanna hear see him or hear his voice. It was too painful.

'You didn't watch it yet? 😱' he asked, and you could see the shocked and offended look on his face.

'I'm sorry. I didn't have time,' you lied.

'We need to change this! This is unacceptable!' he said, and you wanted to invite him over to solve things once and for all. You wanted to sit in front of the TV, with Tom by your side, like you always did, and watch as many movies as possible.

'I'm going to bed now. See you tomorrow at the party,' you cut him off before he could ask anything else, and Tom noticed that. Because in one minute he was smiling at his cellphone, just about to ask you to watch a movie with him, and now he was staring at your last text, questioning everything he could've said or done to make things different.

"Hey, mate. Are you okay?" Harry asked, entering the TV room, and seeing his brother with a weird face, ignoring the TV.

"Yeah. Just...talked to Y/N," he said, pointing at his phone.

"Really? How did it go?" Harry asked, genuinely interested. He saw his brother whining and moping around the house for the last three months. After the pictures got released, Tom freaked out. He had to go to therapy, you stopped coming to their house, and he wasn't that cheerful guy anymore. Now, he was in a good place. Not like before, but he was getting there. And talk to you was the last step to make everything go back to normal.

"It was going back to normal, but then she shut me down. Not aggressively. She just didn't give me the opportunity to make things as normal as before," he said.

"Oh! I'm sorry, man. But that is better than nothing, right?" Harry shrugged. "And you are seeing her tomorrow. Who knows what can happen?" he smiled, and his brother did the same.

To say that this night was hard was an understatement. Tom couldn't sleep. He scrolled through his entire timeline on Instagram, watched a movie, then another one, ate, played video game, and when there was nothing else to do, he decided that 5am was a good time to go to the gym. But not even that helped him relax. He could feel every fiber in his body suffering from anxiety. Tea with his mom after lunch was the only thing that kept his mind calm for a few hours. After that, he went home to get ready for the party. 

There was no set of clothes in his closet that worked. Nothing was good enough. "Hey..." Anna called him from the door. "Want some help?" she offered.

"No. I know you have other things to do. I don't wanna bother you," he said with a smile.

"Not a chance. Everything is settled and I'm ready. Harrison is the one taking forever," she rolled her eyes. "I can help you," she said, getting into his room, and sitting in his bed. "What are your choices?" she asked.

"I don't have any," he scratched his neck, a little embarrassed.

"I think I know what to do," she said, getting up and going through his closet. "It will be simple..." she said, picking up a black pair of jeans and throwing at him. "But very cute..." she picked a black shirt.

"How can a black shirt with a black pair of jeans be cute?" he asked, looking at the clothes she gave him.

"Please..." she rolled her eyes. "You'll look cute," she picked a black cardigan, that he rarely used, and gave it to him. "And will match with the maid of honor, cause she's wearing black too," she finally gave him a white sneaker and a pair of glasses that he liked to use as a fashion statement.

"I'll match the maid of honor?" he asked, biting his bottom lip, trying not to smile.

"Perfectly!" Anna said with a happy smile.

Tom looked at the ground. "I talked to her yesterday," he said, putting the clothes on the bed before Anna could leave.

"And?" Anna said expectantly.

"I was just telling her she didn't need to talk to me today if she didn't want to. But, she said she was okay talking to me," his shrug was trying to sound like he didn't care, but his smile was showing the truth.

"I think you two will work things out," Anna said with a smile, leaning in the doorway.

"I hope so. I miss her so much, it's physically painful sometimes," he confessed with a sad voice.

"I know. I'm rooting for you," Anna said, going to him, and giving him a hug.

"Thanks," he said, and she smiled, leaving him alone.

Soon, the house was getting crowded. The backyard was decorated with fairy lights and wooden furniture. The waiters and waitresses walked around the house, serving beer and pizza.

Tom tried to distract himself, talking to as many people as he could. His mom, dad, and brothers were there since they were practically Harrison's family. His mom was feeling his son's anxiety.

"Are you okay?" she whispered to him.

"Great," he said, but his voice sounded anxious. He kept moving his weight from one foot to another. "She'll be here soon," he said.

"I know. And you'll let her be. Otherwise, you'll scare her," she said.

"Yeah...sure," he agreed. He glanced at the door as he did at least fifty times in the last hour, and for his surprise, this time you were there, taking off your jacket, revealing the black floral dress Anna said you would wear. And you two were matching. Tom's smile grew wilder unconsciously. You talked to some guests that were inside the house and then went outside, joining Anna and Harrison. You looked like an angel. Tom couldn't believe he survived all this time away from you. You looked at him for a second, and he saw Anna whispering something to you. You smiled, widely, and Tom felt like he had won the night.

You walked toward him, going to talk to his family. You didn't see Nikki for so long. You missed drinking tea with her, talking about your life, asking for advice.

"Hey, Ms. Holland," you greeted her.

"Hi, sweetie. Long time, no see,' she said, hugging you.

"Yeah. I was...busy," you said, looking at Tom for a split second and then to her again.

"I imagined. How is everything going? College. Work. Life?" she asked.

"Pretty much the same. I meant to call you a few times in the last months, but I didn't wanna bother you," you said sincerely. You really thought about calling and talking to her.

"Don't be silly. I would've loved talking to you," she said with a kind smile. "Let's have lunch this week. What do you think?"

"I would like that very much," you said, relieved that she didn't hate you after all the drama.

"Dom, look who is here," she said, calling her husband's attention. He said goodbye to the person he was talking to, engaging in conversation with you two. Sometimes your eyes met Tom's, and he noticed a sparkle in them every time you did. He didn't say anything while you were talking to his parents. He didn't want to upset you. "If you excuse us, darling, we're gonna talk to some friends," Nikki said, caressing your arm.

"Sure, go ahead," you said with a smile. They left, and it was just you and Tom.

"Hi," he said softly, trying to contain his excitement.

"Hey," you said, scratching the label of the bottle you were holding, anxiously.

"You look really good," he said, drinking a sip of his beer after.

"Thanks. You too," you were avoiding his eyes.

"Anna helped me choose this," he pointed to his clothes.

"It looks good," you smiled, finally looking in his eyes.

Tom couldn't hold it anymore. His mind wanted to keep it cool, but his mouth was faster. "I miss you. Everyday," he said. You looked at him, and all your worries were dead. All you could think was how much you missed him and how much you wanted him back in your life.

"I..." you started.

"Okay, everyone...it's toast time," Anna said clinking her glass with a fork. You and Tom looked at each other. Tom was afraid he had ruined his only chance. You were sad cause you couldn't tell him you missed him too.

"I'll go first," Harrison said, and some people cheered. "So...Anna. What can I talk about Anna?" he joked. "I'm kidding. I'll just say that the first time Y/N brought you around," he looked at you, raising his bottle, and you smiled. "That day, I knew I would marry you. I didn't say anything cause we were all friends, and I didn't want to scare you. But then, we were watching England's game at the 2018 World Cup, and when we lost, you cried. At that moment, I knew I had do something to make you mine, cause we were made for each other. Two months later I asked you out, and we started dating. Now I'm happy to say that we're gonna cry over the English team together, forever," he said the last part, looking at her. Everyone around cheered and applauded them and Anna gave him a quick kiss.

"Okay, now it's my turn," Anna said, taking a step forward. She was a showoff. "Are you ready to cry?" she asked, looking at him, and he smiled, nodding. I thought I would never find someone that I loved enough to ignore their flaws and accept spending my life with them. Unlike from you, when we first met, I thought great eyes, great body," she laughed, looking at him. "We could be friends. I mean, Tom and Y/N were always together. It wasn't like we could ignore each other," she said, and you and Tom looked at each other. A bit of sadness in your eyes, thinking about how that part wasn't true anymore. "But then, I got to meet you better, I started to see your flaws, and yet, dislike you wasn't an option even if I tried. My grandma always said 'we like because...we love despite...' I like you because you're nice to me, you are my best friend and you always search for me in a room when someone tells something funny, just to see my reaction. And I love you despite you being the last one to get ready, your gym schedule, and all the times you yell 'Wonderwall' in my ear, even though you know I hate this song," she finished. Her eyes were glistening with tears, just like everybody else. It took a few seconds for people to start cheering and clapping them. Harrison hugged her, with a wide and bright smile.

"Great speech," you said, going to her and Harrison, and hugging them. Tom following right behind you.

"I almost cried again," Tom said, hugging Harrison.

"Almost?" Anna asked, her thumbs brushing the corner of his eyes, cleaning a tear that threatened to fall.

"It was a really good speech," he defended himself.

"Thanks," she smiled. "We're gonna talk to...some people. We see you guys later?" she said holding your hand, and you and Tom nodded.

"We're gonna eat something," he said, resting his hand on your lower back, and they left. "Can we talk?" he asked, once Harrison and Anna left.

 "Yeah, sure!" you said, and he noticed the anxiety in your voice. At least he wasn't the only one that was afraid.

He walked to his room, opening the door so you could go in first. You walked to the window, looking at the party that was happening downstairs.

"It looks really good from here," you said. "They are so happy," you smiled, watching Harrison and Anna dance together.

"I'm happy to see you," he said, cutting you off. "I've missed you. Everyone did," his hands were in his pockets, and he was trying to stay calm even though his heart was loud in his ear.

"I missed everyone too. It was good to see your mom," you said, fidgeting with the fabric of your dress. The room went silent. Tom didn't wanna push you, but he wanted to be with you and talk like before. Maybe he didn't think this through. The only noise was the music from the party. "I'm sorry," you said, taking a step forward, and Tom looked at you, waiting. You were nervous. "I'm sorry for pushing you away the way I did," your voice was heavy. "We were both sad and broken-hearted, and I was selfish. I only thought about the pain I was feeling. I'm sorry for ignoring your feelings," you said, and Tom felt his heart beating faster. He never thought about that night this way. He always thought about how much pain he caused you and how guilty he was feeling.

"I should've talked to you. I was so focused on the reasons why we couldn't be together," Tom said, taking a step in your direction. "I never thought about the reasons why we could," he confessed. These last three months he thought a lot about what he did wrong, and not talking to you sooner, giving you the chance to decide if you two could work, was his biggest mistake. "I was a coward. With you, with me, with that girl," his voice was trembling. "And I regret every day for what I did," he finished. You were looking at him, and your expression was unreadable. Even for him, that knew you for half of his life.

"I love you, and I," you started, but then you stopped. Your eyes blinking heavily. "I love you," you repeated after a few seconds, touching your lips with your fingers, looking away from him. It was like you could touch every word. "I...I love you!" you said like you just realized that. You had told him that before, but you were so hurt that you never let yourself feel that completely. Now, standing here, with nothing in your way, that was all you could feel. "I love you..." you smiled, looking at Tom that still had a lost look in his face. "I love you!" you said one last time like you were declaring your feelings for him.

Without giving you a chance to say it again, Tom walked the two steps that were keeping you apart, holding your face in his hands, and kissing you. It was urgent and frantic at first, but then you felt your heart slowing down and it was like the entire world was in slow motion. Your hand went to his waist, holding his sweater, while his fingers tangled in your hair, one of his hands holding your neck, deepening, even more, the kiss.

"I love you too," he whispered against your lips, breaking the kiss. He smiled, looking into your eyes. "And I really think we should go on a date."

~

1 year and 7 months later...

"Lunch is ready," Sam called from the kitchen, and soon footsteps and a door closing were heard upstairs.

"Y/N! You're cheating!" Tom yelled.

"Stop whining. I just closed the door!" you yelled back, running down the stair.

"Racing again?" Sam asked, seeing you enter the kitchen breathless.

"He said he would clean the room if I won," you shrugged. You yelped, feeling Tom lifting you up by the waist. "NO! PUT ME DOWN!" you yelled. 

"You cheated!" he said, carrying you to the backyard and locking you out. He pointed and laughed at you through the glass door.

"I can't believe you are doing this. Let me in. I'm hungry!" you said, crossing your arms on your chest.

"If you wanna get in you'll have to do three things first," he said.

"They are being idiots again?" Harry asked entering the kitchen and seeing you two.

"What's going on?" Harrison asked, and Harry pointed to the glass door.

"Idiots," Anna said sitting on a chair around the dinner table.

"What three things?" you asked.

"First, you'll apologize for cheating," he said and you rolled your eyes. "Second, you'll help me clean the room. And third," he put his hand on his pocket, taking out a black velvet box. He opened the box, revealing a ring, and your eyes grew wider, noticing what was happening. "Marry me?" he said, and you covered your mouth in shock, just like everyone else behind him.

"Yes!" you said, feeling your eyes burning. "Yesyesyes!" you repeated, nodding frantically, while he opened the door, pulling you into a hug.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

[katedrakeohd]

What Happens in Paris... (Part 3)

Thanks so much to @ravenpuff02 for putting together this beautiful mood board. 💟💗😍

Part One .. Part Two

Rated: Mature 18+ for smut and swearing. // Pairing: Drake × MC // Word count: 3147

Song inspiration: Quicksand by Annie Bosko

Drake looks down at his lap again, rubbing his hand on his thigh, when he speaks his voice is quiet. "So..he said that he loves you huh?" 

I lean my cheek against the back of his shoulder and let out a sigh, "Yes, he did."

"Do you love him back?" 

I think about my answer for a moment. "No, I don't."

"Does he know that?"

I grimace when I realize how dishonest I've been with Liam all this time. He's been nothing but sweet and kind to me, and I've basically been leading him on.

"No," I say quietly.

Drake turns to look at me, "Jesus, Darling. Have you been playing both of us?"

"Well…" I admit, biting my lip.

"Holy shit. You're really something else."

Drake gets up from the bed and starts to gather up his clothes. Once he has them bunched up in his arms he angrily tosses them down on the chair. 

I watch with dismay as he starts to get dressed, still muttering angrily to himself. "...total waste of time.." he pulls on his boxers, hunts through the pile for his socks. "for fucks sake…" giving up on them and awkwardly stumbles to pull on his jeans.

"Is that how you feel about spending time with me Drake? Am I a total waste of time?" I ask sadly.

Drake sighs, running his hands through his hair and then turning to look at me. "No..I don't know. I don't know how to feel right now."

"Can we talk about this, about us?"

With a dismissive grunt Drake starts gesturing wildly at me while he paces back and forth. "There can be no us, if you're still seeing him. Have you slept with Liam?"

Grabbing the blanket from the bed I cover myself up, having him shout at me while I'm sitting there naked makes me feel self conscious and small. "Earlier in the social season I spent time with Liam. The day of the beach party he took me to the waterfall and we kissed."

Drake barks out a laugh, "Oh yeah, the waterfall. Typical make out spot. Did anything else happen?"

I blush a little, "It got pretty heated, and wet bathing suits don't hide much."

He makes a frown of disgust trying to remove the image of Liam and I with our nearly naked selves being all over eachother. He shudders. 

"We spent time together that day too. I can still see you in my mind wearing that white bikini, all wet..and perky."

I smile, "We put sunscreen on eachother."

Drake raises his eyebrow, rubbing his cheek. "And then we washed it all off in the ocean. Thank God the water was cold, having your hands all over me was torture."

I think back to that day and the fun we had. We were just a bunch of friends enjoying barbecue on the beach and playing on the sand and in the surf. I couldn't help but be impressed at how powerful a swimmer Drake was and how good he looked all wet and glistening as he walked out of the ocean. 

He's still standing there in just his jeans, arms folded across his chest and looking at me. "So..you spent time with both of us that day. That must have been so much fun for you."

Pushing the blankets aside I get up from the bed and approach him. I gather up my hair, shake it out, and then let it fall back against my shoulders. Drake watches me intently and I can see his lip twitch a bit and then he looks away.

"Yes, it was a fun day at the beach for me. But you haven't asked me about my favorite part of the day."

When I stop in front of him there's a little less tension in his shoulders, but he's still using his crossed arms as a barrier between us, and he's still frowning at me. "I'm afraid to ask."

"Let me give you a hint." I smirk. My eyes travel along the bunched contours of his biceps and forearms as they frame in his bulging pecs from shoulder to shoulder.

When I look back up into his eyes, he still looks at me expectantly, raising his brows. "Well?"

Sliding my hand slowly across his folded arms I walk around him, trailing my way up his arm and then up to his shoulder. He glances back at me as I start massaging his back, pretending to rub in imaginary sunscreen. "Is having my hands on you really torture?" 

He drops his arms with a sigh, and I can see the goosebumps rising on the back of his neck. "Only because of what it does to me. You didn't answer my question."

I rub the muscles of his back some more and enjoy the way they rippled from shoulder to shoulder and ended smoothly at the round contour of his ass. "No, I haven't slept with Liam, despite all the opportunities he presented to spend time alone with me, which I turned down by the way." 

I slide my hands down into the back pockets of his jeans and lean in to kiss the middle of his back. I hear him draw in a sharp breath when I squeeze the firm muscles of his ass and then let go. 

I wrap my arms around his waist, hugging him, and say, "To tell you the truth, Drake, since the Coronation, apart from the royal events of the engagement tour where we were all together; I've spent more time alone with you. Now if that doesn't tell you whom, out of the two of you, that I most want to be with then I don't know what to tell you."

"I want you, Drake, and only you."

Drake steps out of my embrace and then turns around, scooping my face up in his hands. "You really mean that? No, games. No more pitting friend against friend, and seeing who makes more of a fool of themselves trying to win your heart?"

I shake my head, wrapping my arms around him again. "That was never my intention in the first place. Yes, in the beginning, I spent time with both of you whenever I could. Because I genuinely liked spending time with both of you. But it was your friendship that tipped the scales in your favor, and then when we kissed, I knew then and there who I really wanted to be with."

Drake leans in to brush his lips against mine, and I gasp when he pulls back before I can return the kiss. He's got that pained expression on his face again that tugs at my heart. "I can't offer you nearly as much as he can, and yet you still want me?"

"Of course I do. You're real to me Drake, and aren't trying to be someone you're not. The snark, sarcasm, the wisecracks, and grumpiness are all part of your charm. You honestly care, and like me the way that I am. You're not trying to change me, give me a role, or are depending on me to redeem you and give you status. I don't care if you work in the stables, or sweep the floors of the Palace to earn a living, I'd still be so happy to have you come home to me every night.  I mean, look at me. I'm just a lonely waitress from New York who decided to follow a crazy royal fairytale. And it's ironic that I would find, and fall in love with, a half-American schmuck who doesn't believe in them."

Drake chuckles, brushing the hair back from my face and tucking it behind my ear. "Hey, who are you calling a snarky, wisecracking, sarcastic schmuck?"

"Well, are you denying it?"

He smirks and then kisses me again, dropping his arm around my shoulders and starts to rock me side to side. We dance this way for a few seconds in a circle, and then he stops and looks at me with a serious expression on his face. "You said you loved me."

I nod, with a grin. Feeling relieved to finally admit it. "I did."

He pulls me in tightly, burying his face in the side of my neck, "Oh my goodness, Kate. I love you too."

My heart leaps at his words, and I feel like if he wasn't holding me so tightly that I would explode into a thousand happy pieces. Tears spring to my eyes, and when he pulls back to look at me again, his eyes are glassy too. "Say it again," I whisper.

He gives me a sheepish, lopsided grin and wipes the tear from my cheek with his thumb. "I love you."

I pull his face in to give him a kiss, giggling and crying and kissing him again and again. Then I sniff and wipe my cheeks and sigh happily. "Ok, then. Now show me."

"Show you?" He asks, with a chuckle, and he drops his hands to my waist.

I undo his jeans again, and tug down the zipper. "Yes. That's what I said. Show me, how much you love me."

He dips down and scoops me up into his arms, and I squeal with delight and wrap my arms around his neck. We exchange kisses as he carries me back to the bed. 

Sitting me down on the edge, he reaches out and cups my cheek in his hand. "I've been wanting you, Kate, so badly that sometimes it's all I can think about."

There's a rush in my chest as he leans down to kiss me, and when our lips meet he's surprisingly gentle. Closing my eyes, I can feel the warmth of the kiss spread through me, and I don't want it to stop. As he deepens the kiss, exploring my mouth gently with his tongue, I whimper against his lips. 

I pull his jeans and boxers down over his hips, and he pauses long enough to push them down and steps out of them again. I scoot back further on the bed and he follows, crawling up between my legs. Drake slides the rest of the way up so that our faces are level, and I caress his hip with my thigh. Dipping down he kisses the side of my neck and rocks his hips against me, and I feel my body erupt with pleasure as his cock rubs up against me. 

"Oh, Drake." I moan out a whisper as he kisses his way down my chest, massaging one breast with his hand and lathering the other with his tongue. When he sucks the nipple into his mouth and pinches the other roughly, I cry out at the jolt it sends down between my legs. Leaning on his elbow he continues to flick and tease my nipple with his tongue and lips, and his other hand travels slowly down over my belly. I dig my fingers into his hair and arch my back off the bed when his hand slides over my moist and aching center, and I feel his finger enter me. 

A groan escapes his lips when I tug harder on his hair, and then he turns his head to lay his cheek on my chest and his hand starts to move, inserting another finger. "That's it, pull harder." He whispers, hoarsely. 

I gasp at the addition of a third finger, and raise my hips off the mattress, throwing my hands up above my head and grabbing the pillow. I moan at the hard and fast thrusting of his fingers, and now his mouth is travelling down over my belly and I feel him grab my ass with both hands. His fingernails dig into my skin as he holds me still and I whimper when his mouth touches my throbbing and aching sex. Compared to the hard and fast action of his fingers, his tongue is slow and lazy as it explores. 

"Oh fffuck," I gasp, feeling how close I am to orgasm but he's taking his time.

He kisses and nips at the inside of my thigh, "What was that? What do you want me to do, Kate?" 

I can feel the throbbing ache of my need for him, and I squeeze his head between my thighs. "Fuck me, Drake" I whisper, feeling the rush of heat flooding my cheeks and I can barely breathe.

Sitting back on his heels, I giggle at the devilish grin on his face as he places his hands on my hips and pulls me toward him. He tucks the tip of his cock into me, and then pulls back, before pushing back in again a little deeper. He watches my face as he continues to tease me with only partial penetration. I can see the tension in his shoulders and neck as he's holding himself back from going any harder.

"Pleeeease, Drake." I beg, pressing myself up against him as he moves so achingly slow. 

He leans forward and starts moving up my body again, kissing his way over my hip and up my belly, arching his back to keep his penetration shallow enough to keep me wanting more. I can feel myself start to tighten in anticipation as I feel an orgasm start to build again. He moves his mouth up through the valley of my breasts, and I wrap my legs around his back. When he reaches my mouth again we're both panting and he dives in deep and hard as I dig my heels into his ass.

We swallow the sounds of the other as we start to move as one, pushing and pulling and moving faster and faster. Drake buries his face into the side of my neck as I hold him tightly around the shoulders. The delicious friction of our bodies burns the skin of my chest and belly and the sound of the wet slap of our parts coming together mingles with the sounds of our heavy breathing. I can feel the waves of ecstasy washing over me as he groans  out my name. 

He stops moving, and we both hold eachother still a moment, panting heavily. My legs feel like jelly as I pulse around him and he starts to pull out. 

"Roll..over.." he rasps, as he sits back on his knees to wipe his brow. 

I'm utterly spent as I look up at him in a daze of disbelief. "Wh..what?"

He shakes his head, and gestures down at his still impossibly swollen and erect cock. "I'm not done."

"Seriously?" I say, rolling over onto my belly and then going up on all fours. I'm still throbbing and twitching from the pounding he's already given me. I couldn't imagine him doing more. As he leans over my back and enters me again, l gasp at how good he feels at this angle. Grabbing my hips he pulls me back as he starts to buck hard and deep against me. I'm still so wet from my orgasm and he slides in and out of me so easily, which encourages him to go harder still.

It excites me to hear the sounds that he makes, and I feel like the star of my own porn film. Every gasp, groan and grunt of pleasure sends a sizzling thrill coursing through my veins because I know it means he's enjoying himself. I can understand now why he was so turned on by watching me earlier. Sweeping the hair away from my sweaty face, I try to look over my shoulder at him. When our eyes meet it makes me giggle to see his facial expression, he stops moving.

“Something funny?” he asks, breathing hard and his chest heaving. 

“No, you just look so cute when you're all hot, sweaty and really enjoying yourself.”

“Cute, huh?” he starts moving again, rolling his hips forward, “Not exactly the image I was going for, but alright.”

"Speaking of..sexy images," I gasp, as I feel him go deep and then rotate his hips against me.

"Hmmm?" He chuckles, caressing his hands up and down my lower back. "Going from cute to sexy, that sounds more like it."

"Do you watch porn Drake?" 

He doesn't answer right away, and I take his silence as a way to hide his embarrassment. 

"It's Ok, if you say yes, I won't be offended." 

He sucks in a deep breath, "Yeah, I've watched a video or two, why?"

"I mean, who hasn't, right?" I moan, as I feel myself throbbing and starting to tighten around him again.

I can hear him groan loudly with effort, as his movements become slower. "Fffuck… Kate.."

"Yes..Drake, oh God..yes.. " 

With one last hard push, he collapses against my back, hugging me tightly around the middle. I can feel his body stiffen, and then spasm against me. 

"Kate.." he whispers my name over and over as he kisses my back. 

I sigh with contentment, "I'll never get tired of that, hearing you whisper my name."

He eases himself back from me, sitting down on his heels, and watches me lay down on the bed. "And I'll never forget how beautiful you look in this moment."

I feel like a sweaty mess, but a deliriously happy one. I attempt to tame my tangled hair, and tuck it behind my head. "Oh hush," I giggle, blushing.

He's still sitting there looking at me with a  grin on his face. I pat the bed beside me, "Come here."

He squeezes in next to me, and I roll over onto my side to give him more room. Wrapping his arm around me, I can feel him tuck his face into my hair, his breath touching my shoulder. I place my hand over his, and he tucks his knees in behind mine, completing our happy spoons.

"Do you snuggle like this with Maxwell?" I giggle.

I can feel the chuckle rumble up out of his chest. "No, usually he lets me be the little spoon."

I giggle some more, as he tickles my belly with his fingers, and I cover my mouth to muffle my shrieks as I squirm against him. He stops tickling when my ass connects hard with his groin. "Ow!"

Trying to catch my breath, I pant. "That's what you get for tickling me. Sorry by the way."

He rolls over onto his back, clearing his throat, "Nah, it's my own fault. We should get some sleep."

My heart pounds excitedly in my chest, "So you're going to stay?"

"Well I'm already here, so yeah."

To avoid injuring him again I climb off the bed to turn around before nestling back into his side, throwing the blanket up over us both. 

"So what are you going to say to Maxwell when you see him again?"

"As little as possible," he sighs, closing his eyes. "Now, shhhhh. And go to sleep."

[palamig]

hi! i'm reading furuba and there's something i don't quite understand so can i ask you a little question? so after tooru fell and ended up in the hospital why does everyone acting so rude and accusatory towards kyo? saying it's his fault, he need to apologize etc. i suppose they are doing this to help (?) but it feels so hurtful... and overall i can't help but feel so sad for kyo during the progression of the story, people treat him so poorly and i barely see anyone actually being kind to him :(

Hello anon!! Thank you for this question!! The hospital arc is really the toughest one on kyo :( but it’s also the same arc that finally gave him a reality check. Kyo’s biggest flaw has always been that he’s too (unintentionally) self-absorbed with his issues. His struggle to deal and cope with his trauma has had a disastrous effect on his relationship with the people he interacts with like kyoko, kazuma (for that period in time he refused to let himself call kazuma as his dad), and to a really great extent yuki. It reached its peak at the hospital arc, when instead of accepting tohru’s feelings for him, kyo, blinded by a really awful mixture of guilt over kyoko’s death, his self loathing, and the sincere expectation that there was no other future for him except for being imprisoned for eternity, said some really terrible stuff to her

No one is truly, sincerely blaming kyo though. Cat boy really had too much stuff going in his head. The problem was, not only did kyo really really hurt tohru, because of his brooding, he ended up never going to the hospital to visit her at all. Whether or not for understandable reasons, it certainly pissed off a bunch of people. Yuki was the first one to confront him because at this point, he’s just fed up with kyo’s infinite problems.  Tohru fell from a cliff, sustained serious injuries, and is literally confined in a hospital!!!! Meanwhile kyo, the closest person to tohru, the person tohru’s so clearly in love with and vice versa “that it’s obvious even to a middle schooler”, is sulking around on the balcony like he was in some linkin park music video or something. Like what the fuck man!!!! What the fuk!

That’s how we got the oscar award winning Shut The Fuck Up scene on the balcony. Yuki got even more pissed when he found out that the reason why kyo didn’t go was because kyo blamed himself for tohru’s accident and he thought she’d be better off if he never came because all he ever did was hurt her. And honestly, if you’ve been watching your two housemates flirting and being gross like it’s no ones business for almost 2 years now, and you hear this kind of shit from one of them “im like..only hurting her dude…” you’d be super pissed too like im sorry kyo but its true

For the most part of the manga yuki’s been an unwilling spectator to most kyoru scenes, and a lot of people attribute this to him trying to understand the nature of his feelings for tohru—which is true! But when we finally get to the hospital scene, we also see that maybe a small part of that is also yuki’s slight frustration that he can’t make tohru happy the way kyo does. The Shut The Fuck Up Scene takes their mutual jealousy into its final form: because now it involves tohru.

At this point “jealous” isn’t the right term. More of, both of them sincerely believed that the other can treat tohru much better. But we see that this is an issue that affects yuki—their unwilling spectator—so much more, not only because of the way kyo hurt tohru, literally one of the most precious people to yuki, but also because of yuki’s awful history with kyo. A lot of people have already talked about this scene from the yuki and kyo perspective, so i’ll limit my discussion to what i believe is the kyoru aspect.

When Yuki kicks the wall and starts crying when he tells kyo “do you really think it would be the same if I were beside her?” — you know from the many panels we’ve seen of yuki watching kyoru flirting from afar or kyo noticing stuff about tohru yuki never noticed, he’d been thinking about this a lot. So kyo telling yuki that tohru would be much better off with him is, to yuki, a load of bull! fuckin! shit!. But poor cat baby is way too oblivious to notice just who exactly he was to tohru. To ignore tohru’s own feelings. How tohru sees him, and only him. There were some things only kyo can do. And the most effective way (possibly even the only way) to get stubborn kyo to finally understand it is thru some screaming and a nicely aimed punch on the face. Because this is no longer about kyo’s issues, this is also about tohru, her feelings, her loneliness,  her quiet struggle to fight for her favorite person and to save from his destiny as the cat. This scene was beautiful because yuki finally explodes, both for his own sake and for tohru’s.

And then there’s saki and arisa. I think saki and arisa were also rightfully pissed. Like, more than “rejecting” the girl u’ve been shamelessly flirting with for the last gazillion years, u just called tohru, the nicest purest kindest girl in the world “delusional” like boi???!? Let’s just say if kyo was just some other random guy he wouldn’t have come out of that confrontation at school alive. But because saki and arisa genuinely love kyo, they cut him some slack. While neither saki nor arisa knew about the curse and the imprisonment, both of them, especially saki (who has been reading kyo’s ~feelings~ since the first time they met) know that despite this one instance of him seriously hurting her feelings, kyo is a positive influence on tohru. There was really no other person for tohru than kyo. They wanted him to stop moping around and blaming himself. 

Saki told kyo that tohru wasn’t looking for an apology. What tohru really wanted was for him to return her feelings. Everyone and their mothers knows that kyoru is written in the stars; but kyo, way too absorbed with his issues, actively pushed her away, when he could have let her in. They wanted him to realize this for himself before they could let him see tohru again. And kyo knows deeply within himself that he needs to get his shit together. He didn’t need other people to figure that out for him, but what he does need is other people to drag his ass to finally get it done.

These three showed kyo some tough love during the hospital arc and i can understand why people might think kyo is getting too much bad treatment, especially in this arc. But personally i think these three did the right thing. Kyo needed to take a step back from the chaos in his mind and see the big picture; to see what he’s been desperately trying to avoid. Tohru’s out there ready to love him, and all he needed to do was to let her in. But cat boy is furiously stubborn there was really no other way to make him realize that than to be harsh on him

The hospital arc is one of my favorites because from there we see how kyo finds the courage to face the one person who was the root of all of his trauma—his biological dad—and come into terms with all of his complicated issues, even (and i really want to emphasize this) before akito told him that the cat room has been destroyed. He was willing to let go of his shackles to be with her, despite a future of being caged forever. All of it for tohru. So that when he finally saw her again, he’d be a man free from all the shit that had truly been imprisoning him all his life. So he could be with tohru, and she could be with him, with nothing holding them back.

Ahh there are so many more beautiful things about this arc but i hope this is a sufficient answer to your query!!

[boldlyvoid]

New Romantics | Part Four

18+

Summary: She needs help studying for her Case Exercises at the Academy, He needs a date for the annual Banquet... they just so happen to be neighbours who aren't afraid to lend a helping hand, or in this case, a helping kiss.

Categories: Fake dating, neighbours, strangers to lovers, mutual pining, Angst with a happy ending, Smut *as selected by my poll on what you wanted to read*

Warnings: Season 9 Spencer (no Maeve arc), Angst, kissing, drinking, police training mentions, case details, canon typical violence, self-doubt, autistic!spencer, age gaps (24/33), FWB relationships, anxiety attacks, crying, misunderstandings, oral sex (both), penetrative sex, Perv!Spencer low-key, public sex, quickies, multiple orgasms,

Word Count: 5k

a/n: what could possibly go wrong next?

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | epilogue

She’s been asleep barely 2 hours when he shakes her awake, “Hey, when did you need to get ready today?”

“Uh?” She sits up and rubs her eyes, “we don’t have to leave until 1 so, like 11?”

“It’s 8:30, did you want to stay and sleep more?”

She looks at him and sighs, “are we okay?”

He nods, “can we just call it even?”

“Sure,” she agrees without knowing what she did wrong. It was more than just snapping on Tuesday, which is what she was still hurt over. “But I’m going to go, I need to change and stuff.”

“Yeah,” he nods but his smile is sad and she knows she’s fucking it up more.

She gets out of his bed, once it was the warmest bed she’s ever known. Any bed she shared with him was, but now it felt cold and uninviting and there was an unspoken knowingness that they were both genuinely upset.

“I’m still your fake girlfriend for the next 24 hours… can we make them count?” She asks, avoiding eye contact so he can't see her cry if he says no.

“Come here?”

She gets back into the bed and she cuddles into his chest. He holds her for a moment, “you’ve been the best girlfriend in the whole world. Do you really still want to be friends after this? Have I fucked up that bad?”

“Oh honey,” she places a hand on his cheek and looks at him softly, “I will be your neighbour, your best friend, your co-worker, carpool buddy, coffee friend, girlfriend, whatever you need as long as you’d like to have me around.”

He remembers the first time she said that and she knows because his smile is the same. “I love you.”

It hurts, “I love you, too.”

She kisses him quickly, attempting to pull back when his fingers grip her hair and his tongue is on her lips and she’s following his lead again.

“No,” she whispers, “I can’t.”

“Oh,” he stops and his hands drop to his sides so she can get back up.

“I’m going to go get ready, but I’ll come back when I’m done?”

“Yeah,” he nods again.

It breaks her heart to get up and go, she grabs her shoes and she sneaks out of his room, finding her keys in her pocket, she opens her own door and cries the second the door closes.

She cries in the shower, she cries while fixes her hair, she cries while she has lunch. Every song reminds her of the situation, every section of her apartment reminds her of him, the stupid door where they first kissed is closed and she wishes he was stable enough to bang on it and demand an answer.

Whatever was going on between them was reaching a bubbling over point, she can only store so much emotion before she explodes on him.

As soon as she is in her dress, makeup on and ready to go, she walks into his apartment to find him struggling with his bowtie, it makes her smile for the first time since she left his room this morning, “need help?”

“Yes, please.”

She walks over to him and repeats the same movements he attempted, making the bow look pretty before smoothing her hands over his dress shirt and looking up at him. “Handsome as ever.”

“You’re always beautiful,” he compliments her right back but his voice is still as sad as the night before.

“Are you ever going to tell me what’s going on in there?” She pries, tapping his temple with her index finger, “you’re my best friend and I don’t like seeing you sad.”

“I heard what you said yesterday,” he whispers, “about how if you were just using someone you would have picked Derek.”

“And?” She doesn’t get why it’s a big deal because it makes perfect sense to her in her mind.

“And it hurt me,” he snaps, “quite a lot!?”

And the dam breaks.

“Because I proved to them that I’m not using you? Spencer do you know what I meant by that?” She snaps right back.

“What else could it mean?! Clearly I’m not hot enough for you to just fuck and toss aside—”

“I meant that I love you and that’s why I’m with you! If I was just using someone for a job then I’d fuck Derek cause he’s a one and done, toss them to the side and never see them again, kind of guy!”

“And?” He repeats her word choice in a snippy tone that makes her furious but she knows he’s just trying his best to understand her.

She sighs loudly and obnoxiously, “and you’re a take him to meet your mom, marry and have his babies, love him for the rest of your life and one day scatter his ashes, kind of lover.” Crying by the end, she wipes her tears and tries to stay somewhat presentable-looking.

He’s silent, eyes wide as he takes in all her words, “I have always loved you,” she adds, “and no matter how fucking angry I am or how stressed or upset, I am never going to stop loving you, Spencer.”

“Me either,” his tone is still just as upset, “and that's the part that sucks.”

“What do you mean?” She just poured her heart out to him and he still doesn’t get it.

“I LOVE YOU!” He screams it at her with his hands thrown in the air, “I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my entire fucking life and it’s driving me crazy!”

“It’s driving you crazy?” She can’t help but laugh like she’s losing her mind, “I have been doing everything in my power to make you understand that I love you and you keep thinking I just want to be friends!”

“Because you said you loved me like a friend the first time?!”

“No, I fucking didn’t!” She is so frustrated she’s turning the same colour as her dress, steaming from her ears like a cartoon character.

“I asked if best friends can be in love because I wanted to see if you would say you loved me more than that, and then you fucking said “yeah cause that’s how I love you” which means you love me as a friend?!”

“Because I thought that’s what you wanted?!”

She can’t rub her eyes cause she’ll ruin her makeup but she is so mad she just wants to scream. Pressing her fingers to her own temples, she turns away from him and sighs, she loves him so much and yet this is the most frustrating thing that’s ever happened.

“You are so lucky,” she just laughs, shaking her head back and forth as she turns back to him, “you are so fuckin’ lucky.”

“Why?”

She wraps her arms around his middle and looks up into his eyes with one last sigh, “we have to go or we’ll be late, so I can’t explain all of my feelings right now, so let’s bench this conversation and I can show you just how much I love you when we get back?”

“Okay,” he nods. He rests his hands on her arms and he looks down with the softest glance, he’s still trying so hard to not cry. “I’m really sorry.”

“So am I, I should have listened to you better and explained myself more,” she whispers, “do you believe me now?”

He nods, “I told you, it’s hard for me.”

“I tried my best to be subtle so I didn’t scare you off, but I guess you really don’t do subtle?” She can’t help but laugh, “but I really do love you.”

His hands are on her cheeks, pulling her into a kiss, she melts against him. He breathes her in, it’s the longest and deepest kiss she’s ever had and she honestly feels like he’s taking her soul and making her his. She belongs to him and she knows it, now he does too.

“I love you, too.”

—

All eyes are on her and it makes him smile, she’s the only one in a red dress in a room full of black and white, she stands out like a sore thumb. She looks the most beautiful, she stands beside Spencer with her arm wrapped around his and a huge smile on her face, it makes him even happier to see her smile again.

The hardest part of fighting with her was knowing she was upset and that he was only making it worse. Seeing her smile return is everything to him, he loves her more than words can express and she loves him right back, he can tell by the way she smiles at him; because it’s exactly the same way he’s smiling at her.

“I see that you’ve made up,” Derek interrupts their current dance to say hello.

The BAU team was always so busy on nights like this, they had all the best stories and everyone wanted to hear them, which meant they typically didn’t see each other a lot for the whole night.

“We did,” Spencer smiles. “Thank’s Derek.”

She looks up at them both, confused, “how many of them know?”

“Huh?” He plays dumb but she can see right through him.

“Do they all know I’m not really your girlfriend or is it just Aaron, Derek and whoever else you told?”

“Elle,” he says her name. “I told the first girl I slept with that I was falling in love with you because I needed advice from someone who has already been with me and knows how I get.”

“Sick, cool, love that for you,” she smiles and walks away.

He grabs her and she stops, “I told you how much it hurt that I had no one to talk to and you told all of them? And you couldn’t even tell me you really loved me this whole time? I thought we were best friends Spencer?” She shakes her head, disappointed more than anything, swatting his hand off her as he reaches to stop her.

“Let her go, she’s right to be a little mad,” Derek holds him back. “let her be mad.”

“Why?” Spencer is so new to relationships he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

“She wants to be your girlfriend for real, let her calm down and then go apologize and ask her,” Derek's smile is sweet as he pulls Spencer into a hug.

It slowly becomes a dance, everyone is used to Derek being touchy with his friends, he has danced with everyone so far tonight so it’s only fair Spencer has a turn. Spencer holds him tight, eyes closed so he doesn’t have to think about all the attention he’s been getting since they arrived.

“Thank you for always being here for me,” he whispers, “but I have to go see her.”

“Fights like this just make your relationship stronger, it teaches you how she wants you to communicate, she just wants you to be honest with her, always,” he whispers with his cheek pressed to Spencer's, “and angry make-up sex is really fun.”

It makes him laugh, “thanks, but she won’t be sleeping with me for a few days, if my memory is correct then she’s mad for more than one reason.”

“Ah,” Derek gets it, “good luck my friend. Good luck.”

When Spencer pulls away, he heads in the direction Y/N left and follows the hallway as far as it goes. She’s sitting on a bench by a window, staring off at the night sky as she takes some deep breaths. She looks a little more peaceful, she’s had a really rough few weeks and he’s not making it any easier on her.

“I know two things for sure,” he speaks softly but she still jumps a little as she turns to him.

“What would they be?”

“That you’re the love of my life,” he’s confident as he sits on the bench beside her and takes her hand in his. “And I’m an idiot when it comes to love.”

“That is quite the dilemma,” she smirks, her eyes gleam as she looks at him and he knows she was trying not to cry by how glossy they are, but it makes her more beautiful, somehow.

“I’m really sorry.”

“All you have to do is tell me the truth, Spencer,” she places her hand on his leg and leans in with a whisper, “it’s really simple.”

“Truth is,” he whispers right back, lips close enough to kiss, “I’m never going to stop loving you, which means more stupid moments are in my future. Just so you know.”

She giggles and kisses him quickly, “I don’t mind being the smart one in the relationship, but you still have to ask.”

“Will you be my girlfriend and let me love you for the rest of my life, no matter how much I fuck up and drive you crazy?” He teases her, knowing she’ll say yes regardless.

“On one condition,” she can’t hide the smirk on her face and he’s nervous at what she’s thinking.

“Anything?”

“You let me love you for just as long? If not longer.”

He nods, “forever?”

She nods back before kissing him just as deeply as they did that morning, her hands in his hair as she presses his face into her’s with force. She holds him there and breathes him in, pulling back with a classic smooch sound, she smiles again, “you’re my boyfriend now.”

He nods with a small smile, “what should we do first as boyfriend and girlfriend?”

She bites her lip and pretends to think about it for a moment, “fuck in the linen closet down the hall?”

“I don’t have any condoms on me?” Is his only worry, not getting caught, not that all their bosses and superiors were there, just that he didn’t have a condom.

She pulls one out of her bra with a smile, “Savannah gave this to me about 3 minutes before you came over here.”

“How much make-up sex do they have?” He asks as he takes her hand and leads her down the hallway.

She’s giddy and smiling, her heels click on the floor as they rush to the other end of the hall and open the little door. There are shelves with towels and rolls upon rolls of silverware in cloth napkins. A vacuum in the corner, some brooms and just enough room for them.

She pulls him in closer and shuts the door, reconnecting their lips as she pushes him up against it. Hands reaching for his belt she kisses down his neck and he’s like putty in her hands as soon as she strokes him, he moans by accident and she covers his mouth with her free hand.

“Do you have any idea how turned on you make me? I have wanted to fuck you since I first saw you, 6 years ago…”

“Really?” His muffled voice behind her hand makes her laugh. She removes her hand and instead runs her fingers through his hair while taking a moment to look at him and really take it all in.

“Yeah,” she nods, “which is why I asked to sleep with you on the way home from the bar, I didn’t know if I could handle it either it, but I’ve always wanted Doctor Reid from the BAU to rail me. I just didn’t think we’d end up falling in love?”

“No one has ever admitted to having a crush on me and meant it,” he whispers.

“I’m glad I get to be one of your firsts,” she smiles again before he pulls her into another kiss.

She kisses the side of his mouth and then his jaw, down his neck and then she’s dropping to her knees in front of him. He’s hard in her hands but he twitches as he sees her like this, looking up at him with lust-blown eyes as she strokes him, she flattens her tongue and taps the tip of his cock to it.

He has to cover his own mouth or else he’s going to get them caught, he moans at the feeling, closing his eyes and that's when she takes him in her mouth. His free hand is in her hair, careful not to mess it up but enough grip to steady himself.

He tilts his head back against the door with a knock and a sign, “fuck,” he can’t help but talk into his hand which only makes it sound louder in the tight space.

She feels so good every single time and yet this one feels different, he looks down at her and she pulls off, “what’s wrong?”

“I love you,” he shrugs.

He helps her back up to her feet and she backs up against the shelves, “come here?”

He helps her hike her dress up, holding all the material up as he slips her underwear off and takes that condom back out of her bra with a single kiss to her chest. He rolls it over himself and lines up with her, her arms wrap around his shoulders as she looks at him, “show me how much you love me?”

He slides in and they don’t break eye contact as she takes him, her mouth opens in a silent gasp at the feeling, her hands grip his shoulders tighter as she steadies her ass on a shelf and wraps her legs around him while he bottoms out.

With a hand on her cheek and one on her lower back, he pulls out and thrusts back in with a smile as she bites back a moan, she pulls his face in close to hers to kiss him while he fucks her. The hand on his cheek slides down her neck, applying a small amount of pressure that makes her breathing hitch. She swallows sharply before his hand starts to trail over her breasts and then between them.

With a thumb on her clit, he fucks her a little harder while rubbing his thumb in a circle. She’s breathing heavily into his mouth, placing sloppy kisses against each other as they enjoyed each other.

She’s so close and he knows it, and then there is a knock on the door.

“Spence, we have a case when you’re done?” He hears Derek's voice behind the door and he can’t believe it.

“Okay!” He calls back without stopping, instead, he fucks into her a little faster.

“Oh!” She moans by accident before covering her mouth with a slap and wide eyes, moaning behind her hand as she bounces on his cock.

He kisses her hand, making her move it so he can press his lips back to hers and absorb all the noises she was going to make, her hands both reach for his back, gripping his suit jacket so tight he’s afraid she might rip it.

She cums with a shocked gasp, it’s as quiet as possible but it still echos around them as he gets closer and closer. He buries his face in her neck and accidentally moans as well as he cums, stilling his hips as he holds her there, sputtering his hips against hers as they catch their breath.

“I love you,” he manages to say between breaths, “that much.”

“You need to go,” she smiles.

He kisses her one last time before he pulls out, he loves the way she gasps every time he does so. She smiles after, their teeth clashing as they laugh, “I’m going to get in so much trouble.”

“I’m never going to get a job,” she shakes her head as she gets off the shelf and fixes her dress.

He takes off the condom and wraps it in some paper towel on the shelf, he’ll get rid of it later. She picks up her underwear, he thinks she puts them back on, but she really slides them into his pocket for him to find in the middle of the case when he reaches for something important...

—

She rides back to headquarters with Penelope and JJ, both of them want to ask and she knows it. Mainly because she looks like she’s had sex, and also because she asks to stop at the academy so she can get another pair of underwear from her locker.

It’s not until they’re in Penelope’s office that they ask, “what’s it like?”

“What’s what like?” She plays dumb.

“Dating Spencer?” Penelope says, “more specifically, having sex with him?” She mumbles and it makes Y/N laugh.

“In total, we’ve been having sex for 3 weeks now and I’ve had 21 orgasms, and we only really fuck on the weekends cause that’s when we’re not busy…” she grinds her teeth slightly with a raised brow, taking a deep breath, “yeah. It’s really great.”

“Holy shit?” They both look more shocked than she’s ever seen them. “How many has he had?” Penelope asks with a quiet voice, pretending she didn’t.

She laughs slightly, “like maybe 14? He’s really generous.”

“What the fuck?” JJ turns to Penelope and shakes her head and there’s something more there that Y/N can sense.

“Who’s Elle?” She asks and they both turn to her with the biggest eyes.

“How do you know about Elle?”

“She’s the first person he slept with?”

“When?” They both shout.

“So he wasn’t kidding. You guys really thought he was a virgin this whole time?” She looks at them like they’re crazy. “How?”

They both just shake their heads and sigh, stuttering and looking for words they don’t have. “We just never thought he could?”

“Snooze ya loose, I guess?” She shrugs, “so what is the case and how can I help?”

“Right! We have a case,” Penelope snaps back into it, “but seriously Elle? Are you sure you have your names right?”

“Penelope,” she looks at her seriously.

“Right, they’re headed to Roanoke.”

There was a child abduction of a 6-year-old girl, CARD and the BAU were both called out and that meant everyone was mingling on the two floors and they would use as much help as possible.

It also turns out that Anderson’s surrogate went into labour a little earlier than anyone expected; so he and his husband have left for paternity leave early. Leaving JJ without an assistant and she really needs help in the office for this one.

She catches on rather quickly, knowing the protocols from her training and she’s not afraid to ask questions. She’s still in her dress, her heels click on the tiles as she rushes around with files, making phone calls and running from the briefing room to Penelope’s office.

When they finally crack the case and apprehend the suspect, she sits down finally. It’s been 11 hours since the banquet, and she was exhausted beyond belief. She never slept the night before, Spencer was uncomfortable and she was in her jeans and when she did fall asleep, he was waking her up moments later to get ready.

It's Sunday morning at 9 am when Spencer finally returns back at headquarters. She’s sitting at his desk when he comes up and wraps his arms around her, “we’re going home, come on.”

“Don’t you have to debrief?”

“Did that on the way back,” he turns her around in the role chair and tilts her head up to look at him, she’s so tired and he can tell. “You have a big day tomorrow.”

“Ugh,” she stands up with his help, “I did enough profiling today and now I have a whole week to get through.”

“Just to come back and work here,” he smiles, “if you still want to?”

She wraps him up in a real hug and nods against him, “it’s so fun, even with all the murder.”

“Coming home to this is really nice,” he whispers before kissing her cheek quickly, “I’m glad you like it here.”

“Well, well, well,” Derek's voice is behind them. They pull away to see him smiling, arms wide as he saunters over, “if it isn’t the new romantics.”

“Did you have any suspicions?” Y/N asks, he was a profiler after all.

“I knew something was up,” he’s honest. “I knew you guys were actually doing stuff together, I just didn’t think there was so much angst behind closed doors?”

“You have no idea,” Y/N laughs, holding Spencer closer, “it took too long.”

“I thought you were fighting about the job, cause he wasn’t really upset until you were in Penelope’s office, and I heard the rumours even before he heard what you said,” Derek smiles again, “but I also knew you loved him and he loves you.”

“Correct,” she can’t help but smile. “But we really should head home.”

“Home we go,” Spencer agrees.

—

She asks him to unzip her dress the second they’re back in her apartment. She drops the dress to the floor and heads to the bathroom and he’s left alone in her room. It feels different now. He remembers kissing her in the living room for the first time like it was yesterday, he remembers the first time they had sex, the first time he said I love you, and now he’s here and she’s his girlfriend and he’s going to get to make more memories with her.

He’s so embarrassed by how much he’s been crying lately, something about being in his mid-30s was making him feel like he was about to go through menopause— he has never been very openly emotional, but it’s about time he lets himself feel. He wipes the tears and turns to face the wall while he takes his suit off.

He’s been through too much, a lot of which she doesn’t know of. She has promised him forever, whether she means it or not, and he’s worried he’s going to fuck it up before he gets there.

When she comes back, she lays a towel down on her side of the bed and gets in, “guess who got her period on her first day of work?”

“No?” He gasps, playing along with her playful mood. “At least you’re not pregnant.”

“Thank god,” she sighs, “please for the love of God, don’t get me pregnant for at least 5 years? I want a decent career first so that I don't miss much on maternity leave. I really don't want to be benched for having kids.”

He cries again and she looks so concerned as she gets out of bed and wraps her arms around him, “what did I say wrong, Spencer?”

Still facing the wall, he just lets it all out, “I’m sorry.”

“For what, sweetheart?” She attempts to soothe him by running her hands down his arms, “for crying or something else?”

“Crying,” he whispers and she turns him around then.

“Hey,” she looks up at him with the softest expression he’s ever seen, “you are allowed to have emotions, you are allowed to show them and ask for help and tell me when you need something. I’m not going to think you’re too much, or I can’t handle you or think of you as a burden. I know that’s how you feel because it’s how I fell, and we don’t need to go through that together.”

“I love you,” it’s the only thing that feels right to say.

“I love you,” she repeats it, “what made you cry?”

“Can we get in bed first?”

“Yeah, finish getting ready and then come tell me,” she whispers before reaching up and pressing a kiss to his lips.

He slips away to go to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and washing his face. He’s exhausted but he doesn’t want to miss any time with her. He hurries back to her side, getting into bed in his underwear and making sure both his phones are on the night table, charged and ready if they need him.

But until then, he belonged to her.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep?” It’s the first thing he asks because he knows she has a big day tomorrow. “It can wait.”

“What’s that thing you say about intermittent sleep is actually better?”

“Don’t use my words against me, I do that so people don’t stop me from doing what I think I deserve,” he’s truthful. “I’m not going to ever lie or fib to you again. I hate myself, and if I don’t feel like I’ve done enough I won't sleep or eat sometimes.”

“I do that too,” she’s not proud, “are you trying to tell me you cried cause you’re hungry or tired?”

“No,” he smiles, “but thank you for asking for clarification, I like this new system.”

“Me too.”

“I cried because I really love you and I’m realizing this is all real and I’m going to get to make good memories with you, and when you said kids, even in a hypothetical sense, it made it feel real for me,” he whispers the words before pressing his lips together awkwardly.

She glows in the lap light like she did that first night, “it’s a weird concept, isn’t it? The future. At some point I’m going to have known you longer than anyone, one day we’ll have lived with each other longer than we’ve lived apart. We might be grandparents together one day? It’s all weird to think about.”

“Do you seriously want all that with me?” He’s asking because he has another question to ask right after.

“Yes, Spencer,” she laughs. “I really do.”

“Would you like to Marry me?”

“Seriously?” Her eyes widen and her jaw drops and he’s never seen her look this stunned before.

He nods, “my mom isn’t going to able to appreciate my wedding the longer I wait, and if you really mean it; I’d like to have a wedding with my mom there while she remembers me.”

“I know her birthday is coming up, but can we bring her here instead?”

“Why?”

“My parents decided to drive from Salam to here for my graduation and use the flight money on a nice Airbnb for the week. We should do it while they’re all here because I don’t know when they’d be able to come back,” she has had the same worries about her parents missing her life.

“I’ll ask my mom,” he smiles. “So we’re getting married?”

“in like a week,” she laughs, “oh fuck, how are we going to do that in a week?”

He rolls over and grabs his personal phone, he dials a number and she looks even more confused now.

“Hey Penelope, how fast can you plan a wedding?”

~

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New Romantics:

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