#i fucking love this au btw if anyone wants to talk to me abt it PLEASE send an ask

[steelycunt]

hello beautiful do you already know what you’re gonna name the pride au? have you been enlightened? have you already had The vision…

hello bab!! annoyingly enough i do not..which is very strange for me and also frustrating because i LOVE coming up with titles and usually it is one of the first things i do!! i have a little list and ive been alternating them when i save drafts to my ao3…but i think the fact that none of them jump out at me especially means they’re probably not meant to be. i usually like to name things after songs/music but since the chapters are all named after songs (which are pretty locked in i think im quite happy with those) i don’t want to do that with the main title! which means coming up with something myself…id like something quite short and solid i’ve been playing around with stuff and looking into poetry etc but yeah! this is a very long way of simply saying, not yet : ^ ( unless something perfect comes to me i might leave it to the fate of a tumblr poll + then ignore the result of the tumblr poll except to see if that exposes in me which one im really rooting for. but i am still hoping i will come up with something where i know immediately that that’s what i want to call it : ^ )

[heliswife]

jake x a reader who hates him and avoids him because he reminds them of someone they hate but when they are forced to hang out they realize that they actually have a lot of chemistry…..,,. take ur time btw no rush

TBIS IS A FIRE IDEA ACTUALLY!!! TY POOKIE!!! those following for pjsk fics sorry but the brainrot is taking over <3 plus writing for other fandoms is a nice break from pjsk :3 this is a non-idol au thing ig 🤭

@onthat611beat hope you like it ♡

Your ex-friend used to have a massive crush on Jake. She would rant about him all the time, saying stuff such as "we were meant to be!" or "he looked at me, he wants me bad!"

You were sick of it, and by the time you cut contact with her, you didn't want to hear anything about Jake again. You avoided him in the halls and in your classes, memories of that friend coming back whenever you looked at him.

"Y/N! There's this guy I'm sort of interested in, and he wants to have a study group with us and some of his friends!" Your best friend and roommate grinned.

"Who is it?" You asked her, secretly praying it wasn't going to be a repeat of what happened with your ex-friend.

"His name is Riki, look!" Your friend showed you a picture of the guy she liked. He didn't seem bad. And your friend seemed normal enough about him.

"Yeah, he's cute. Sure, I'll go to the study group with you."

The next day, when you walked in the café you guys decided to meet up in, you saw Riki, your bestie, and...

"Y/n, this is Jaeyun. He's in the grade above you, right?"

"Mhm, nice to meet you, y/n. You can call me Jake." He flashed a warm smile at you. It made your stomach churn with how nice he was to you.

Memories of your ex-friend and her toxicity flooded your brain, yet you pulled yourself together and held your hand out. "Nice to meet you, Jake!"

His hand was warm. You were sort of understanding why your ex-friend liked Jake now.

The study group went surprisingly smoothly, with you exchanging numbers with the two boys and leaving with a stomach full of sweets.

You explained to your bestie the situation between you and your ex-friend, how she was in love with Jake and how she was a huge asshole towards you.

"Is that why you looked shocked when you saw him?" She asked.

You nodded. "Was it that obvious? God, I really hope I didn't give him a bad impression of me..."

"Don't worry, y/n, it wasn't that obvious." Your friend said before being interrupted by the ding of your phone. An unknown number.

hey y/n this is jake from the study group i just remembered i had your number lol

"It's Jake. Whenever I think of him, I think of my ex-friend and then I start feeling sick. Should I answer?" Your finger hovered above the message icon.

"Yes, duh? Forget about that shitty girl, that's in the past. It's time to move on and forget about her, y/n."

"Hm.. You're right. I'll respond. I know it's been half a year, but it's hard to get over it." Your fingers rapidly typed and backspace until you found a response you would send to him.

hi jake!! dw abt it, im glad you texted me

"I literally can't do this bestie, what if he hates me? Fuck, that message sounded so cringy." The worst case scenarios flashed in your eyes.

"He doesn't. Read the message he just sent, I don't think anyone who hates you would send that."

do you wanna go get lunch with me tomorrow? i wanna talk to you more, you seem chill 😄 also your friend likes riki right? she makes it obvious

"I DO?" Your best friend gasped. When you agreed, your friend threw her head back, landing on one of the soft pillows of your bed. "It's fine, I'll deal with it later. Back to you, y/n~"

"Oh lord."

"You should go with Jake! He's asking you out on a date!"

"He is?" You reread the message. "Oh shit, he is."

"Y/n l/n, you are a total loser. Your life is so boring, like, you've never been in a relationship? You should go. It'll make your life interesting."

"Geez, you're such a nice friend." You rolled your eyes.

yeah ofc!! where & when?

is noon at the pizza place near the cafe alright with you?

mhm, see u there :)

You turned your phone off and let your brain process what was happening.

The only knowledge you've had of Jake prior to this was from your ex-friend, and she looked at him with rose-colored glasses. You were going on a date with the very person your ex-friend was head over heels for.

Fast-forward to the next day, you put on an outfit you deemed worthy for an outing and exited the house. You hoped your bestie wouldn't blow up the house.

Once you arrived at the pizza place, you spotted Jake waiting outside, scrolling on his phone.

"Jake!" You called, and his head perked up, smiling wide as he waved to you, "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long!"

"Y/n! Don't worry about it, I just got here anyways, let's go in and order, 'kay?" It wasn't even a sort of anymore. You were definitely understanding why your ex-friend was obsessed with Jake.

Your eyes couldn't leave Jake as he ordered a pizza and drinks for you both, and you didn't even process the question he asked you until he pointed out your lack of response.

"Sorry, I just feel... I don't know, out of it? Could be nerves," You awkwardly laughed.

Jake only cocked his head his face painted with a confused expression before giving you a small grin. "I get it, nerves do that to me too. So, um, what do you like to do?"

"I- I like writing?"

"That's cool, do you think you could ever show me one of your stories?" When he noticed your eyes widening, he laughed, "I'm kidding, you don't have to show me if you don't want to."

The pizza came, and you two chatted about anything you could think of. You talked about your friends antics and he talked about his. He even showed you a picture of his cute dog.

"Y/n, if you don't want to answer this, it's fine, but why did you ignore me before you were forced to see me at the café. Did I do anything wrong?"

Shit. Now you were forced to talk about your past with your ex-friend. "I had a friend who used to like you. You were all she would talk about, and it was getting annoying. She was an asshole too. After we stopped being friends, I didn't want to be reminded of her, and you happened to be one of the things that reminded me of her. I feel bad about ignoring you, since you're a great guy."

"Oh, it was *****, yeah? I remember her." Hearing her name made you feel lightheaded. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that. If it makes you better, I never liked her much."

"Seriously?"

"Yup, you want to head back to my dorm? I could show you my lego collection?"

"Sure," You giggled, getting up out of your seat in the booth, Jake following suit. You felt a sense of relief knowing that Jake didn't like your ex-friend.

As you two were walking back, gray clouds started to gather. A few rain droplets fell on your face before the downpour began. You and Jake looked at each other before Jake took your hand and started running to his dorm, dragging you along.

Once you guys made it, you were both soaking wet and panting. "I wasn't expecting it to rain, sorry.."

"It's okay. I really enjoyed your company..."

Silence filled the room. Jake's hand was still holding yours. "Y/n... may I..?"

"Please, Jaeyun."

His lips pressed onto yours, and even if it was for a second, it felt like time stopped. It was just you and him in this little world.

"Tomorrow, I'll take you on a real date, when it isn't raining. We could go wherever, just tell me," Jake told you when the kiss ended.

"Let's hope it isn't raining tomorrow, promise we'll go wherever?"

"I pinky promise, dear." He held out his pinky, and you intertwined it with yours.

This was the start of a new chapter, a chapter without her, and you had someone, who although gave you bad memories from the previous chapter, would be by your side.

[paingoes]

incredibly whumpy conversation w shavit of @floral-comet-whump

ft. walenty of thales, boundary pushing w/ delta, imperial sadism >:)

not quite RP, just discussing au ideas

(content: dehumanization, cutting, living weapon whumpee, mention of minor whump (child emperor walenty))

shavit: fun fact if walenty ever interacted with destroyer era delta they would treat him like a piece of machinery alia: oh im sure he’d respond to it probably how would that play out shavit: hmmm walenty is a character whose interactions HIGHLY depend on prior rank and story positions so just figuring out what they're doing in the thorn needs consideration ...getting back to the walenty encountering delta thought, they'd be like. “Oh, that's how it looks.” if he's alone they'd tell him to go back to his room cause who leaves nukes wandering alia: i feel like their impression would be pretty much unchanged though, delta does pretty much nothing to challenge anyone’s perception of him as an object shavit: yeah their interaction means nothing walenty is one of many that treats delta like how most treat him and moves on that's all alia: that makes sense for their position though!!! shavit: yep!!!! would you say delta is squeamish by the sight or smell of blood itself alia: probably not deltas broken bones before he doesnt enjoy it but hes not squeamish shavit: so mostly he doesn't care about their sleeves being stained with blood ok 😞 (they don't bother to roll their sleeves up since it gets splattered somewhere else anyway)

[...]

shavit: walenty would do pretty bad stuff if they were in paris's position too I think in a setting like destroyer they'd lowkey be a sadist but be secretive about it as for uhhhh walenty in paris' position bjdbidbidj

1. also not ready in the slightest 2. attempt to fuck it we balling. are very calm with the stress of it but take special care to maintain delta because if they'd been a prince (no gender neutral word, so masculine term it is!) they'd know he was sentient 3. probably ask to cut delta up like once. if he consents: yay get cut up with comments abt having pretty blood, quiet admissions they know he's not a machine, and little vents about everything being a lot, and not being sure what to do about it. rambling about plans basically. he gets his wounds cleaned and hair braided after and it's all very delicate if he does not consent: gets reminded that walenty does own him, and while they want to be considerate and not make life horrible for him, they can. I assume that's the most he struggles. he gets cut up anyway with the same softly spoken compliments about looking serene like this, and how walenty always knew him being an object was a lie. becoming an emperor is all quite overwhelming, they're pretty sure everyone wants them dead. still gets his wounds cleaned and hair braided after! 4. would recognize that fighting against nezu for power is a losing battle within a month. go over to him and admit they aren't ready to rule, especially not through a war

shavit: I love my coward alia: wow walenty totally abandons delta here 😭 shavit: hear that walenty? ur gonna live!!! who the fuck is delta they're not dead remember when paris talked about being surrounded by snakes in early destroyer? here is one alia: jesus i love your coward shavit: thank u 8< (walenty face) alia: 8< walenty face delta would not consent to being cut up btw and i like the gentle threat thats so delicious

[...]

shavit: imagine a huge custody battle once your old owner gets assassinated only to get handed over to this teenager with autism in their eyes alia: autism 4 autism shavit: oh also they abandon you within a month cause they can't take the stress alia: how old is walenty here u think shavit: hmmm young younger than delta alia: wait how tall are they shavit: oooo this is a fun one hold on let me get it in CANON 151 cm/4'11, 161 cm/5'3 with heels (platforms) HOWEVER this is caused by a multitude of stuff, not just shit genetics some things that made walenty this short: 1. being homeless from 5-9 2. overusing magic from 6-14 (stunts growth) 3. shit genetics they'd probably be taller in destroyer verse since they're not starving and wouldn't overdo training as much or rapidly trying to function as much but still they're naturally short, I think the most they'd ever get is around 165 cm/5'4 how tall are delta and paris :3 alia: deltas 5’7 paris is like 5’10 (but 6’0 in the slay boots) thats why iwas asking cause delta is both older and taller hehe

[...]

shavit: still can't believe walenty threw delta to NEZU because they didn't wanna do this anymore what does he do? delta that is cause they'd come in to say goodbye the night before, but not make it explicit they are unless he engages in conversation I definitely think walenty would've made a habit of visiting delta on irregular days but typically twice a week at night to pamper him

alia: assuming he does not know about castle damon at this point he just goes into it like normal. at which point i assume he is either threatened with it and told he has to be PERFECT in order to avoid it. or he isnt given any warning and it just happens 😔 pamper ?? shavit: searched define pamper it's less pamper and more just be gentle and affectionate with him while quietly ranting and maybe torture him highly depends it's a mood thing alia: oh man WHY torture how…. old habits i guess????

shavit: morbid curiosity assuming they would've been at a military academy like paris, they developed schadenfreude which later grows into very closeted sadism they find people fascinating. the way they grow and react to things, and the things they keep. delta who has been stripped of his personhood interests them on a psychologically scientific level, which expresses itself in them wanting to see him in pain they wanna push him to the extreme, until he's hardly ∆-107(I love pulling the government name out sorry) and more just a [insert whatever his species is called] that's been CHANGED, but still has some of his old self left probably fantasized about it, but would never actually go through with it because what they want is screams and damage you can't hide, which would then reveal their secret alia: yeah wow he would not like that very much i think how else do you think that sadism expresses itself are they less sadistic in their own canon shavit: they're not sadistic in their canon the schadenfreude was a brief phase in the period they were transitioning from being tortured in front of captives to doing the questioning and seeing THEM be tortured it was a righteous sort of feeling? but also not? a very "it's finally not me" but it passed because they got exposure to it from a young age and it was internally normalized to them they don't like inflicting harm because it's just a means for an end now it comes about in destroyer verse because the way they experienced it was gratifying but forbidden, so it never lost its novelty alia: so in this au they probably didn’t experience much of the torture on themselves? wdym by gratifying but forbidden shavit: considering The Emperor and military academy doing corporal punishment, they probably did experience the torture, albeit far far far less and by gratifying but forbidden I mean that they'd feel empowered by having so much control over someone and find the physical violence of it aesthetically pleasing shavit: but be very very aware that what they're doing is torturing someone and reprimand themselves for it alia: but still do it shavit: yeah they're more ashamed of enjoying it than the act itself alia: yeahhhhh deltas fucking scared of them shavit: 😔 alia: i think anything w that kind of sadism scares him like hes a machine what do you get out of torturing a machine… shavit: what's he like when they brush and braid his hair alia: probably still sits still for it but he’s incredibly tense and probably waiting for it to hurt again :( shavit: I think they'd either sit behind him on the floor or take him to their own room to sit on the carpet alia: whyyyy. why the pampering shavit: don't you wanna know telekinesis boy (they like it better in their own room and don't have to carry products over) actually destroyer delta probably has his own hair products… the smell!!! I think they would take one of those boxcutters and draw little spiderweb patterns on his arms and back stars snd flowers too mayhaps spirals and circles alia: yes he hates it omg he’s super unused to being cut you may have to like. fight him on this.

shavit: hmmm beyond the soft threat and verbal reminder of his place walenty wouldn't go through eith it they're too afraid he'd thrash ajd have to get it treated and now they need to explain this to simon and martino coward alia: ya i think he’d probably thrash involuntarily he’s well trained but he’s not. THAT well trained i think it could work but he’d have to like. see it and be warned and be walked through it so arm is okay but not back because he’ll panic if he cant see he’d still ask why though and if its a punishment or not shavit: eeeeeee the part abt him asking if it's a punishment is the good shit alia: he’d be more willing to endure it if it was but if its just sadism or for fun. yeah hes scared. shavit: if he thrashes once they catch him and hold him in place then continue. twice they get paranoid and just clean up his wounds and get to idk being nice they wouldn't walk him through it they're too insecure about this to explain stuff out loud would respect arm but not back actually!! aaaand as for the question ahem shem “No, I’m just curious.” he learns it's because of sadism midway through getting doodled on alia: how does he learn 0.0 is there a tell shavit: oh they tell them alia: WHAT DO THEY SAY shavit: "I always wanted to do this" typa shit alia: delta does not enjoy this shavit: explanation of being punished and occasionally knowing of others being punished. how that changed them. how that changes everyone. pain comes and goes (I had to sorry) but it always lingers. it changes people, delta included and that's amazing that's the core of life, isn't it? adaptation. pain. survival. evolution. alia: he…thinks theyre insane shavit: 8< oh also they're probably giggly/chuckle-y in their monologue!! I think prince walenty would actually treat delta pretty well aside from the uh. torture they keep him the same "just a machine" as the emperor did alia: the pampering thing is still kinda getting me like why bother that would confuse him a lot i think delta is just v confused w walenty in general i think what a weird kid shavit: if he asks they would just say that they're lonely that simple (it goes beyond mere loneliness, it also has to do with having something to stim with and that happens to be delta's hair since it's long and silky) alia: LOL paris does that too i feel like a lot of the times hes just running his hands through deltas hair without even realizing hes doing it shavit: and that's without mentioning that they're more than just lonely, this is both seeking out companionship and stress relief. a desire for friendship alia: aw :( sorry i asked this already i think but i forgot already. does walenty not have friends their own age or. at all shavit: in canon verse they basically don't in destroyer verse they're left behind in the military academy and also walenty is the goodie two shoes teacher's pet and supposed heir to the throne when they're still actively studying I don't think their friends would be people they actually connect with they'd probably have online friends though but never speak of their actual life there

[...]

shavit: living for the differences and sameities between canin paris and walenty in his position btw

they both have something deeply wrong with them for one paris fights tooth and nail for his throne. walenty gives up on it mainly of their own voilition paris is older and taller than delta while walenty is younger and shorter they're both casual with him behind closed doors walenty doesn't take him outside closed doors at all while paris is performative delta thinks both paris and walenty are insane/fucked up paris was a notorious troublemaker in school while walenty was a teacher's pet and goodie two shoes many would believe is a people pleaser they're both deeply paranoid people they both have very little genuine close friends (paris has one, walenty has zero) paris is hated by his staff. walenty isn't beloved since they're still distant, but they're not disliked. a "good, quiet kid" through and through they both would've rather not been royalty wouldn't beg to save his life VS has begged to save their life both are calculated in how they physically abuse delta, but paris is outwardly "loud and violent" while walenty's malice is much quieter + a genuine insecurity of theirs like playing with delta's hair :) both are incredibly selfish and self centered who think about their own plights before any others'

[drinkabletoxicdishsoap]

HAIII IM BACK LIKE I PROMISED HERES MY WINN BULLSHIT LORE

winn was superrrrr close to their mom before she died, she worked as a hair dresser for abit and then as a security guard at pattys and would take them to work when younger so they were very distraught when she died due to medical complications, emmet was a family friend and elijahs long time best friend from high school so they got married a little after her death (yes its suspicious and yes elijah mightve cheated while she was alive yes this is more convoluted then it should be) the cousins arent relevant at all, and yes charlottes name is a fnaf refrence i couldnt pass up the oppertunity

ignore the fucking . "missing since 2007" thing cuz its apart of that one au i mentioned i never talk abt anymore so it wouldnt fit into canon but tldr thats nick of time shes gone bananas dont worry about it (i had a fic in the worlds in like august . i still have the doc open incase i want to finish it since its halfway done but i cant write rn i can only do 1 hobby at a time #sad) also their maternal grandmama is a fucking asshole so who cares

(zipper is a border collie if u gaf......... btw)

I was going to make a separate Winn headcanon post but since you shared this beautiful family tree with me I want to share my headcanons about them!!

TYSM FOR SHARING ITT RAGHH ITS AMAZING AND YES I DO GAF !! THESE ARE SO COOL I LOVE LOVE YOUR HEADCANONS ABOUT THEIR MOM

If I do think of more, I’ll either reblog, edit, or reply!! I’m sorry if they’re out of character or it seems like I’m projecting

they listen to 80’s Japanese city pop!! please tell me someone else sees it and I’m not crazy 💔💔 I probably am oh well maybe it’s because im listening to that genre right now

following up with the music headcanons, I feel they would listen to a lot of bands. Not any certain kind of genre, they just love listening to bands :3 (weezer fan…)

hip hop listener

amusement park enthusiast

maybe it’s only because of the patty possum episode but I feel like they love arcades

GUITAR PLAYER THROUGH AND THROUGH TRUSTTTTTT!! ONE OF THEIR DREAMS IS TO START A BAND I SWEAR

lowkey a fnaf kid. Idk the patty possum episode reminds me a lot of security breach

has a lot of stress and anxiety problems but hides it because they don’t want to upset their friends

whenever they get a new interest, they dive deep into the lore

Minecraft kid.. watched a lot of Minecraft YouTubers (the ones who aren’t groomers I promise)

if I have to give them a style, it’s either grunge or Adam Sandler fits, no in between

listens to music A LOT to help them calm down. basically one of their coping mechanisms

always begged their parents to get them those playgrounds you build in your backyard

LOVES comic books!!!!

LOVES superhero movies as well

sonic fan

plays the pokemon games.. i think they’ve played every gen.. their favorite is black and white

card collector!!!

when it comes to vacation, they love going on excursions and exploring :3

I think they would enjoy gravity falls and adventure time.. maybe I’m projecting though my bad

I don’t know if anyone has read it but you know survivors? yeah I feel like they would love that but maybe that’s just me maybe I fever dreamed that

their favorite animals are bugs. They don’t discriminate they love all and any kind of bugs

they go to skate parks a lot ! They love helping out with people who are struggling with skating or just love hanging out with fellow skaters

very outdoorsy

they love action movies and games

I feel like they played a lot of the Mario franchise

SPLATOON FAN I SWEARRRRRR

I feel like they would love going to farms

posters everywhere in their room

Likes to hang out at roller skate rinks

graphic tees.. they’re so normal about graphic tees

pin and keychain collector

an anime kid but only for like the action animes. Mainly attack on Titian

plays basketball for fun

owns like 100 slinkys

That’s it 🤯 sorry it’s super long :d thank you so much for coming to another yap session! I hope you have a great day/night to whoever is reading this. thank you for sharing your family tree as well! If anyone has any more headcanons, feel free to share in my inbox, reblogs, or replies!!

[crguang]

ahajsksbywpqp sat guess who has 2 tests in the same week in the same class next week. Not very fun for me. anyway I was think abt Kafka (honestly when am I not is the real question). See if it wasn’t Kafka in ur au and I was r I would definitely turn her in for the money, but I unfortunately think I might like Kafka just like a little bit ig so I don’t think k would be able to do that .

Reread part 3 today is her fingers twitching bc she wants to shoot something or is it just bc Kafka and her fingers. Ok thats not what I meant but also…what I meant was that she works with her fingers a lot I wish she used them on me instrument, guns, etc. we still haven’t gotten an in game Kafka appearance w an actual violin, it probably won’t happen but I’m still holding out. And she’s the highest threat level possible for a criminal but she STILL commits petty theft. She is so I saw someone say that the stellaron hunters were all siblings, Kafka and blade are like the older siblings that have to drive/pay for everything, silver wolf is the gamer (so original) and firefly is the youngest. Wish they had more in game interactions, or like they had synergy, meta wise, since canonically they’re one of the most tight knit groups.

oh also your inbox must be full as fuck so it’s fine if you don’t reply to everything, esp bc you answer a lot of stuff, and even tho someone already said this ur rlly great to talk to ur thoughts are always more coherent than mine. And we all get to simp over hot fictional women together.

ngl I might start playing ptn, like I’ve been seeing screenshots and…wow, I don’t think I have enough storage tho. I think the two types of characters I usually like are tiny mentally ill ones and hot evil women, so…

im so sorry my messages are always so long btw, I keep rambling 😭

-🌠

aaaa study well and good luck for your tests!!! hope you get a good grade and if u dint i will hack i to your prof’s computer and change it for you

im with you entirely, if it was anyone else in that story i wouldve already called the cops LMFAOOO kafka gets privileges because shes hot and my fav unfortunately… for the finger thing, i think its just one of her quirks! in her idle she mimics playing the violin and like you said she has very dexterous hands (even mentions it in a voice line) so i think she’d absentmindedly move them around when her mind is elsewhere. this is the kind of overthinking i was talking about, when i map out a character in my head i think about the most irrelevant stuff that dont matter😭 but imo they add to her charm a little and make her a rounder character, idk. AND YES i love that her crimes go from suicide inducement to petty theft shes so ridiculous hfjfhdhfj that time in her character story where she just walked in a store and took clothes off the rack then left in front of everyone… shes funny as hell😭

i see the SH as family too! silver wolf and firefly are sisters to me, and both of them are def kafka’s little sisters. i think silver wolf is the youngest though, she even gives off sassy youngest child vibes. i wish they could work together too, having them all in one team would be so nice. but it’s also cool that each of them has a speciality, it makes sense for the work they do

my inbox is full i think i have around 70 asks rn…😭 but to be fair a lot of them are veryyy old i just havent gotten around to cleaning up my blog yet, i’ll do it at the same time i change my masterlist and actually make it pretty to look at. i usually try to click on notifs as soon as i see them but like i said, i just forget to type my answers </3

and omg. anon. if your type is mentally ill and hot evil women ptn is literally the game for you. there is an abundance of mentally ill women in there, trust me… like there’s every kind of character you could want in that game— you could give me a specific type and i could find you a character that matches it, you should definitely play. and if you do, do it before the second anniversary ends (starts around mid/late-october) bc trust me you are gonna be upset if you miss shalom :/

dont worry abt ramblingggg i love talking to u and answering every point it’s really nice!!

[whumpshaped]

I just read your tiny whump academia drabble and 👁👁 boy oh boy do I love little guys being crushed very near to the point of death where they think their bones are bending but I also started thinking hey, i wouldn't continue to trust such a small and wiley pet in a shoebox even if he is a puny nerd, I think the only way to soothe my worries about an escaping little mouse is to make sure it cant move at all shehfh- Or put it in a cute little leash and harness like a domestic rat :3 specifically a retracting leash so you can yank him back with no effort, and it makes them easier to show off for some friends or benefactors~

OKAY UM. OKAY. LET ME GO INTO A WHOLE RANT ABT THE POISONED IVY TINY AU.

tw some nsfw talk, tiny whump, bullying, academia whump, dehumanisation

so idk if u know the context for the story, but bryce is basically blackmailing nate already. nate is being mercilessly bullied and exploited by him in private, while in public nate basically "joined bryce's friend group". bryce has some compromising photos of nate that hes holding over nate's head and basically forcing him to do all of his schoolwork instead of his own to ensure 1. he doesnt have to work much 2. nate cant keep up his own first place on the college leaderboard academically. bc bryce used to be outperformed by him in just this one aspect, and he thought hm... two birds, one stone

so yeah theres already an insane power dynamic going on when nate shrinks. and bryce is like holy fucking shit this is amazing. yes i'll have to go back to doing my own schoolwork but u know what i came to love even more than not working? bullying nate. and then another aspect of it is that..... how do i say this. turns out bryce has a kink for this sort of thing and now hes just horny. theres rly no better way to phrase this. hes not even gay but hes looking at tiny nate and hes suddenly very horny abt the prospect of this helpless little creature who also happens to be his ex academic rival who was already helpless- u get the picture. i wont go into detail but that has consequences. anyway bryce is obsessed w tiny nate. he also has immense cute aggression! hes restraining himself from crushing nate's tiny bones 24/7.

moving on, this also means bryce is incredibly possessive. he's not gonna show it off to anyone, because honestly he already reported nate missing and he doesnt need anyone trying to steal nate or whatever. what he does is he keeps nate in his pencilcase for a while until he can go out and get a little custom glass box with a detachable lid. its very nice <3 it has some padding at the bottom, tissues and cotton and cloth, whatever bryce could find. tiny food and water bowls are separate and never placed in the box, because controlling when and how nate eats and drinks is another aspect he enjoys a lot. the box is shoved in the closet whenever someone comes to visit.

that being said bryce looooooves to mess w nate, looooooves to mess with immobilising him completely w clear tape for example. very fun stuff. loves how exposed and vulnerable nate is. im sure he also makes little DIY harnesses and collars and stuff, basically just imagine him tying some thread or cloth around nate and yanking him around by it. dangling nate from high places it also fun bc he has a fear of heights. the closet is also fun in itself bc nate Also has a fear of the dark! and bugs. which leads bryce to pick up earthworms and shit and lock them in the glass box w nate. hes a menace and he loves tormenting nate so so much.

but at the end of the day bryce doesnt want to kill or seriously harm nate physically. if he threatens a knife or smth, he never rly goes thru w it. maybe the lightest little scrapes. but he mostly stays away from that. hes also afraid nate will one day turn back to normal and he doesnt want a full sized nate running around without an arm or smth. (he does eventually turn back btw but by that point hes so afraid and so conditioned and bryce has told him so much abt how everyone has moved on that hes just like...... ok. i guess i only have u bryce. sure i'll stay in the closet all the time hidden away until you graduate and can take me with you to your cool new house. its ok i'll stay soulless and very obedient as always.)

bryce treats nate like a toy, and nate never gets over it. nate already felt quite dehumanised and humiliated and small and powerless when he was normal sized. going thru that ordeal being tiny and violated and hurt in so many ways just cements it in. he feels like property, he feels like a toy, he feels like he doesnt have a life outside of being bryce's thing. and he rly doesnt. whenever bryce isnt playing w him, hes locked away in a dark place that makes him feel afraid and claustrophobic and honestly as horrible as bryce is, he doesnt have any other sort of life than the hours bryce spends actively teasing and bullying him.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

I’M HEREEEEEE I’M HERE

you know i HAD to cook up a lil letter for this one…… dipping my pen in ink and tracing the crinkled paper in front of me rn <333 MICKEYYYYY YOUR TASTE IS UNPARALLELED AS ALWAYS i had to go hunt down my own collection immediately pls bare w me :’3 i’m so excited rn i’m shaking like a scared dog

FIRST OF ALLLLLLLL portrait of fryderyk in shifting light my absolute BELOVED i think that’s my favorite in the whole collection but there’s some competition…. THE LINES YOU MARKED DOWNNNNN I’M BARKING WILDLY they’re so good ………. what can you know about a person? they shift in the light. what if i cried and exploded and also threw up. it always makes me think sm of geto/kenny too…. the dichotomy there. the life of the body is a nightmare. you get the vibes. my hand over his face, which isn’t his face anymore, revising….

IT ISSSSS SUPER DUPER IHTCTAOT CODED!!!!!!! :3 reading through the poem rn and i think these lines are soooo knight!reader/prince!toru coded too…….

+ some other general siken poem lines that remind me of ihtctaot :3333 (the green+pink annotations are from his other collection crush!!)

(mickey i need to know if you also lost your mind at the and this means your life is over anyway line bc i was literally flipping through crush looking for knight!reader in every poem and when i got to that one i fucking Exploded)

ANDDDDD THE WORM KING’S LULLABY MY BELOVED EVER that one makes me think of stsg too 😥😥😥 IT’S SO GOODDDDD also while we’re on the topic of stsg . pls know that every single poem from crush is stsg coded . siken wrote it just for them i’m convinced….

aaaa but !!!! i’m so happy the ones i sent you way back then r still your favorites !!!!!! T_T getting a good grade in Mickey…….. normal to want and possible to achieve…… self-portrait against red wallpaper reminds me SO much of knight!reader and ohhhhh the lines you pointed out. the apocalypse au … that’s so good ….. i think that’s what interests me most about an au like that. not the question of survival but the question of what happens after, yk? or between the gaps. even if you survive, what will you do? can you go back to the way things were? will you be able to love anyone anymore? and then ofc also just . the question of love and light and how much it really matters in a world that punishes you for it (it matters more than anything but these silly little emotionally repressed popsicles haven’t realized that yet)…. i’m sososo excited to jump into that world w you <3333

but ok back to siken… it rlly is The Poem ever i’m never not thinking abt it. never not thinking abt my blorbos as i read it. the final couple lines get me EVERY time and imo they’re very gumi coded…… i hate my friends. and when i hate my friends i’ve failed myself, failed to share my compassion. (…) i mean, maybe it’s better if my opponent wins. <- that’s Him. don’t even get me started on i clawed my way into the light but the light is just as scary. (…) it’s too much work. bc in context of the current megumi? in the manga??? yeah. sick and twisted.

AND TOJI TOJIIIII WE NEEEDDDD TO TALK ABT TOJI i’m gonna be honest mickey war of the foxes as a whole reminds me of the jjk villains more than the good guys . sukuna and toji and geto and kenny. etcetc. emphasis on toji. the lines you picked out makes me think of him sosomuch but also??? landscape with a blur of conquerors. the whole poem. every time i read it i think of him

ALSO this specific part of a primer for the small weird loves …. in crush ……. instantly thought of him the first time i read it like three years ago (normal abt him btw)

ANYWAYYYYY I THINK THAT’S IT …… i’m so happy you enjoyed the collection <3333 atp my goal in life is just to make my mutuals read it …. i’ve alr succeeded w you and io + kairo bought it a while back i think …….. mr siken everything i do is for you

i am back from the Outside. back from the Book.

anyway portrait of fryderyk in shifting light is very very very ihtctaot coded and it's making me sick i love them so fucking much

"he is looking at the wall and i am looking at his looking. difficult thing to be scrutinized for so long." // "my shadow falls across him and it doesn't go away." // "see me, not through me." // there wasn't much left but it felt like him, wild and scared."

+ and this part from the worm king's lullaby made me think of stsg i'm fine btw i'm so fine

@twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat hihi my sweet little iris i am holding your hand and tugging you over here to tell you that remember when you showed me siken's poems like a million years ago? the ones you picked out are still my favourite ones.

self-portrait against red wallpaper is my favourite favourite from the whole collection though. i just wanna thank you for showing me this one in the first place, life-changing honestly. i'm pretty sure i saw you post a snippet from it some days ago too i'm glad it's on both of our minds

"shame means you're guilty, like the rest of us, but you think you're better than we are. maybe you are?" // "disheartening? obviously. i hope it's love. i'm trying really hard to make it love."

"i clawed my way into the light but the light is just as scary. i'd rather quit. i'd rather be sad. it's too much work. admirable? not really. i hate my friends. and when i hate my friends i've failed myself, failed to share my compassion. i shine a light on them of my own making: septic, ugly, the wrong yellow. i mean, maybe it's better if my opponent wins."

i feel like this is also very fitting for ihtctaot but but but but also... for the toji apocalypse au i'm working on. ok this is just me rambling bc i haven't even really talked about it that much so u guys don't know anything lmao (u will u will)

the whole second part just makes me think about how hard it would be living in an apocalypse you know.. you'd want to try to make it work, to make it love, to be in the light but it would be so fucking hard, wouldn't it? and so much work. think about all the heartbreak and the pain, wouldn't it be easier to quit?

and the "shame means your're guilty, like the rest of us, but you think you're better than we are. maybe you are?" is toji. this is for toji. he's acting cocky and he's acting smug, like he knows everything about the world, like he's some immortal creature. like he knows better.

he doesn't. he is filled with shame and everything alike, he's as guilty as the rest of them. he's as bad as the rest of them, he's as good as the rest of them.

[we-are-inevitable]

welcome to small town jack angst, brought to you by:

Stick Season - Noah Kahan

this one doesn't take place in a southern small town or anything- im thinking a small town still in the state of New York.

its one of those towns where it looks pretty- it has history, it has a Main St. full of mom and pop shops, it's this postcard picture perfect place with everything on the surface and absolutely no substance.

and Jack Kelly? he loves it, but he hates being here.

it's not exciting. the same thing happens every day, everyone has a routine and no one can get out of it, and he longs for adventure- adventure that's more than just riding his bike with his pack of friends and going to the park, or the skate park, or the parking lot of the grocery store across town.

and he tells his friends all the time, i'm going to get out of here one day. he's going to make that move to the city, or maybe hop on a plane and move to Los Angeles, or Santa Fe, or maybe even San Antonio or Miami or Portland or somewhere new.

but he ends up being the friend that goes nowhere.

you see, everyone else? they go to college in great places. Davey and his brilliant mind are at Columbia, while Sarah is living it up at a fashion school in Boston. Kath got into a journalism program at Yale, Race is went off to Texas to study aerospace engineering, Charlie wound up in at a uni in Chicago, Spot is full-on pre-med at some bigwig school in Pennsylvania and Al is a mechanic in the heart of New York City now.

and Jack, he's an undecided major at the closest community college, because he doesn't know what he wants to do with his life yet. he just knows he had dreams of getting away, but he can't do that if he has no footing.

he's trapped, because everyone else is spread out. most of them come home for the holidays, but even then, Jack rarely sees them anymore; they talk about their big schools and their aspirations and how city life is treating them, but all Jack can add to the conversation is local drama he gets from the kooky grandma who works at the Walmart.

and because i'm me: seeing Davey hurts the most, because Jack doesn't recognize him.

since moving away, Davey has blossomed; he's no longer the "mom friend" who encourages the group not to take risks- no, he's reckless in the best way now, confident in his actions, strong-willed, opinionated, stubborn as hell and not willing to take no for an answer without a good reason. he's left behind big sweaters and ratty converse for skin-tight clothing, jewelry, painted nails, makeup, docs and a new air of confidence to him- something that says he's finally out of his shell. something that says he finally cares enough about how he's treated to do no harm but take no shit.

he's everything that Jack used to be, and it throws him for a loop the first time Davey comes home.

and Jack Kelly loves David Jacobs. he loves him. he would do anything for him, but it's increasingly more obvious that David has outgrown Jack. all of them have, really. he sees photos on instagram of everyone meeting up without him- Charlie and Race in Chicago during a random weekend in October; Davey, Sarah and Kath in L.A. over spring break- it's hard to see his closest friends grow up without him, while Jack is stuck in that same little town where he has nothing going for him.

Jack is supposed to be the adventurer. he's supposed to be the guy with the big ideas; that was his shtick in high school, being the dreamer, but now Jack dreams of his friends all coming home, coming back, coming to save him from the pavement he's cemented himself to.

and he dreams of Davey, the guy he loves more than his heart can say, the boy he wanted to share a life of adventure with, the person he never had in high school and will never have now.

[definitelynotshouting]

for the wip tag: i'd love to know about London air carries the taint of smog in it and witch au??

HI KARLIAHS IM SO SORRY TO LEAVE YOU HANGING AUGH,,,,, but ive finally sat down and gotten the chance to answer this yeehaw

Funnily enough, both of those are the same work. I just happen to be a dumbass who keeps my work scattered across multiple google docs, so i mustve put both of them in the WIP meme by mistake

Witch au is a fun and funky piece that sort of blends urban fantasy and some of the existing TMA vibes together. The premise is that after Martin's father left, his mother traded him to the Lukases in return for making her now ex-husband disappear. When Martin turns 17, he's officially handed over to Peter, and for the next 11 years is forced to study magic under him in total isolation. Eventually Martin finds the opportunity to run away, and ends up meeting Jon-- another Witch, who might be able to break the bond still tying Martin to Peter.

There's a lot more to it than that, but thats as brief as i can get without launching into a full dissertation of the plot,,, so here is a small snippet to tide u over!!

--

Martin flexes his fists. It's been freezing cold for days, now, Peter's influence dessicating the air they breathe, and he's only wearing a thin jumper with his trousers. He can almost blame that for the way he shivers, hands trembling, a bundle of raw, scraped over nerves.

"Peter," Martin says flatly.

"Good to see a familiar face," Peter says, still cheery. But Martin knows better. Past the chill glow of his eyes is a familiar, calculating gleam; everything a game, a wager to win. This time is no different.

"Can't really say the same." Martin stares at him for a moment, then forces himself to take a deep breath. "If I come with you," he says, "will you leave the town alone?"

Peter's teeth flash behind his grin. "Finally coming home then, Martin? It'll be good to have you back. The place has felt rather--" a meaningful pause "-- empty without you around."

[ashtcnirwin]

Lashton fic recs on ao3 please?? All of yours are amazinggg btw ❤️🖤

ahhh thank you lovely!🧡

at the top of my head, i can’t think of many lashton fics actually, there aren’t too many of them going around (that fit my taste), but here’s a super duper short list! if anyone else has anything to add, feel free to do so!

1. portable player by cornflowerblue / @daydadahlias

contains smut i know i'm super subtle about it (/j) but jess is, in fact, my favourite fic writer, and a ton of my favourite 5sos fics have come from her bigass brain. portable player is a 34k pornstar AU, and it's absolutely gorgeous in its depiction of the porn industry and what comes with it. sexual assault is talked about (it's not graphic, but it's heavily referenced in the second part of the story), so do be cautious of that if you decide to read. jess has a whooping 15 lashton works posted, so if SA isn’t something you’re wanna expose yourself to, she has plenty of other works to choose from. i’m assuming you’ve already read the loml scene 14, so i’m gonna pull out paint me as another fic of hers that’s well worth a read or, if you wanna keep away from the smut, bittersweet.

2. home is wherever you are tonight by lifewasradical / @lifewasradical

an absolutely fucking GORGEOUS masterpiece of a fic. amanda went in and she went HARD when she wrote this. the setting is described so vividly, the relationship between luke and ashton is beautifully built and developed, it’s so f’ing funny but it also throws a meanass punch in the form of angst. this fic hurt me so badly i literally sprung to my feet, went outside and started chainsmoking at one point while reading

3. i hope i never lose the bruises that you left behind by bellawritess / @clumsyclifford

bella coming in with a soulmate au! bella’s writing is generally gorgeous, girl produces high quality fics at an alarming rate, but when it comes to lashton fics, this one is the one that stands out to me. it’s so damn funny in the way that all of bella’s fics are (not sure if she’s intentionally trying to be funny or if it just happens but the result remains the same), and it’s also sweet af without being nauseating or unrealistic. yeah no i love this fic a lot and i think i’ll reread it as my bedtime story tonight

4. 1990 by twinkhemmings

contains smut i’m a sucker for anything set to the past, and this one is set to 1990s manchester (if i recall correctly), and it deals with period typical homophobia in a very good way, not to mention that the writing style really fits the setting and the story. there’s also a part 2 to this

5. doubtful heart, foolish love by valiantnerd / @valiantnerdtm

no direct smut but there’s some vaguely described sex this fic was gifted to me for the 5sos summer fic exchange 2021, and it’s absolutely gorgeous. what i adore the most abt this fic (except for the fact that it’s fucking funny), is that the relationship between luke and ashton is very realistic, it’s very easy to picture that a relationship development like this could take place irl, and i absolutely adore that in a fic, and nik portrayed it beautifully

6. kiss me (x3) by allsassnoclass / @allsassnoclass

such a sweet, heartwarming fic. i keep returning to read this whenever i want something short & fluffy that still makes my heart clench a little

7. tech support by lyricalpary

one of the first fics i read in the 5sos fandom and i still find it super funny and charming!

8. line work by heartandmindxx / @ashtonhours​

i haven’t actually read this one yet but i do know that miki has a solid head on her shoulders, i know it’s at the top of my list of fics to read and i know that it deals with some very, very important themes (such as consent & power dynamics (not sexual ones)) & that ppl whose judgement i trust have said that it’s a FANTASTIC piece of work

[boy-above]

Please, anymore thoughts on Kokichi?? I'd love to hear you infodump :) love your content btw

aaa omg :0 it’s a little embarrassing infodumping publicly aaaa but i’ll do it, here’s some thoughts abt him.

for starters! i think kokichi is locked into position of antagonist very early on and doesn’t really have a chance to fight it. this is partly his fault of course, i believe the reason he’s so rude and hostile is so he keep his distance from people as he doesn’t trust any of them. he reiterates many times that this is a game of suspicion and he will not let himself fall victim to someone by trusting them. he doesn’t want to appear vulnerable either so he doesn’t allow anyone even a glimpse of his true feelings most of the time, he lies so much so even when he does express true feelings, you’ll never know if he’s being serious or not.

but this also means that no matter what he does during the game, even if it’s an action that has good intentions or is for the better of the group, it will be met with hostility because everyone assumes from a very early point that he does not have their best interests in mind. this means he would literally be unable to redeem himself in their eyes because they’ve already decided that he’s a bad person no matter what. even if he started acting nice and doing everything right, people would continue to think hes scheming and is up to no good.

for example, kokichi reveals to everyone that maki is the ultimate assassin, but the others kind of treat him like an asshole for it. kokichi was doing the right thing here! everyone deserved to know that there was a professional killer among them, someone who was guarding an entire room full of weapons!! but he’s vilified for doing this. also, something big that always makes me upset, is the fact that people routinely disregard kokichi’s safety and well-being. someone he just outed as a murderer is standing there strangling him and nobody does anything to help him. then of course there’s the scene where he’s busted his head and is covered in blood and very obviously woozy and not okay, but everyone is just annoyed with him and nobody helps him. he doesn’t deserve that. everyone hates him so much.

and it comes to a point where kokichi weaponizes everyone’s hatred and mistrust of him against the mastermind, by trying to convince everyone that he Is the mastermind in his plans to hopefully end the killing game. and everyone eagerly believes it because they’ve already all got huge hate boners for him, it seems obvious to them. everyone is willing to believe he orchestrated the whole situation they’re trapped in and that he’s a remnant if despair, despite the fact that there’s actually very little evidence for it. everyone except shuichi, who later goes out of his way to prove his suspicions that kokichi isn’t the mastermind nor a remnant of despair to clear his name. which brings me to! why kokichi hates kaito and why he feels that he can trust shuichi.

kokichi is a very logic over feelings type of guy, and feels that blindly trusting people just because you think they’re your friend is a very dangerous mindset to have, in this situation at least. this is why he butts heads with kaito a lot. kaito is someone who even got mad at shuichi for accusing gonta in his trial, even though gonta Was the culprit and everyone else would be executed if they voted incorrectly, all because kaito’s belief in trusting others was so strong. kaito is very feelings over logic. kaito has a very firm stance on what he believes is right and wrong and he’s Stubborn as fuck about it. that’s part of the reason i don’t really care for kaito, he can get very preachy at times and let’s his feelings get in the way of finding the truth. he seems to feel morally superior to people in a game where morals are simply not black and white in the way he thinks they should be.

which brings me to why kokichi feels he can trust shuichi and only shuichi!

kaede was shuichi’s closest friend in the game and he did not let his feelings get in the way of naming her as the culprit. if he had blindly believed in her and refused to name her as the culprit despite all the evidence pointing towards her, everyone would have died. it completely tore shuichi up inside to send kaede to her death, it absolutely devastated him, but he did it for the sake of the group. it’s this moment where i think kokichi started taking an interest in shuichi. this is someone who understands the game and understands what has to be done to protect everyone. you can’t get everyone there killed just to protect one person, no matter how close with them you are. i think it’s from here that kokichi slowly started gaining a crush on him as well. i headcanon that kokichi didn’t have much interest in him before he actually saw him in action during the trial, when he entered “detective mode” and got all serious.

i don’t think this is a complete lie! i don’t think he’s saying he’s in love with him or anything, but i do think it’s true he likes shuichi most out of everyone there. he thinks shuichi is the most interesting and trustworthy and probably does think about him a lot. he does a lot of thinking, the gears in his head are always turning, i get the feeling he doesn’t get a lot of sleep with how much he’s always thinking. it honestly makes me pretty sad thinking about him staying up all night thinking about his situation and trying to plan how he’s going to end the game, all while being super isolated from everyone else and not having any true friends.

which takes me to another point!

kokichi ouma is a super tragic character. i don’t care what anyone says, i don’t believe having this interpretation of him is “woobifying” him or anything similar. this right here? he’s telling the truth. nobody would care if he died, and nobody Did care when he died. everyone was sad about kaito, there was hardly any talk about kokichi. kokichi died a sad, lonely, unceremonious death. nobody cared when he had blood oozing from his head, nobody cared when maki was strangling him, nobody cares about him.

he was right. kokichi was always alone, through the whole game. he died alone. and i do think that this coming from shuichi probably hurt. shuichi was the only person there who he thought he could maybe trust. and kokichi did get what he wanted, he needed Everyone to hate him so they’d all believe he was the mastermind if he wanted his plan to work, including shuichi. but i don’t think he was prepared to hear shuichi say this specifically, i think it really hit close to home which is why it shut him up the way it did. and remember, kokichi Did try to ask shuichi to be in on the plan!! during chapter 4, as they were exiting miu’s vr world, he did attempt to ask shuichi to be his accomplice in a very roundabout way, but shuichi ignored him and exited the program. there could have been a world where kokichi and shuichi worked in tandem to try to end the killing game.

which brings me to why i ship saiou. i love saiou a lot. it’s my comfort ship and it makes me very happy. part of it is that kokichi is my comfort character and i project very heavily onto him. as ive mentioned above, i think kokichi trusted shuichi, was interested in him and he was kokichi’s favorite. i think he had feelings for shuichi and it’s very comforting to imagine shuichi returning his feelings and kokichi getting to be happy. i love aus where kokichi has friends and people actually try to know him and see through his lies, don’t accept them for face value. that’s also why i think kokichi liked shuichi, everyone else took him at face value and didn’t try to look below the surface at all. shuichi was interested in kokichi, interested to know what made him tick and why he did the things he did. he cared enough to want to find out. towards the end of the game shuichi did get very tired and couldnt find any logic in his actions anymore, and ultimately did give up, but once kokichi was gone his conviction to know kokichi’s true intentions came back again.

I think overall kokichi actually was lonely and wanted someone to care about him. i know the ftes aren’t technically canon but they Are canon compliant and are in character. kokichi’s feelings for shuichi are obvious. kokichi wants to spend time with shuichi and do silly things with him like playing yugioh and having tea parties. kokichi played Rock Paper Scissors against shuichi One Hundred times and shuichi kept playing. and at the end when kokichi got all giddy when shuichi was bandaging his cut, i think he was so excited because someone cared about him. someone cared about him enough to bandage his cut and just that little thing is enough to make him bashful and happy because he isn’t used to being cared for. that’s why i ship saiou, i just want kokichi to be happy and shuichi can make him happy. out of everyone shuichi tried the hardest.

anyway i think that’s all i got! please nobody @ my about my interpretations lol

[seoafin]

i come back to see spank bank hcs and i’m absolutely losing it. since gojo takes rip!mc’s virginity i imagine this is something he always thinks about too and i know for sure he would bring it up all the time to her qjdldnfksnsm like once they do it i just fucking know gojo never sleeps with anyone else ever again this man is deep in love 😭...

also i saw that people were waiting for my thoughts on geto with the twins AND DKSBSKDNDKN IM SORRY I’M HERE NOW!!! i imagine the twins cause a lot of chaos and like.... i want this to be set in an au where geto doesn’t go rogue mainly bc there’s already so much angst (but i will delve into this later hehe) but anyways. you’re right when you say geto is a bit more strict than gojo but this man. literally grows weak when he sees his daughter smile at him the same way that you do. like he could barely handle one of you but now that there’s a mini you running around and knowing that he’s her dad???? oh fuck this is gonna get to his head. his son reminds him too much of himself so he tries to make sure he doesn’t spend too much time with uncle gojo 😁 he knows that man is a terrible influence. i imagine gojo and geto have probably had argued abt who the twins prefer more at some point. gojo once gave the twins too many sweets and let’s just say the. twins got rlly sick LOL (gojo is not allowed to watch the twins by himself ever again) mimiko and nanako are the perfect big sisters btw

BUT IF we’re going for the angst potential... (where geto goes rogue and mc calls gojo) things are never that easy for mc unfortunately. geto finds out about this and well. let’s just say before gojo gets there, the kids probably would have died..... while gojo doesn’t mind being the fill-in father, he does feel a bit hurt sometimes when he remembers you originally chose geto over him - 💫

I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU IN MY ASKBOX BUT THEN MY FACE WENT FROM THIS 🥺 to 😭

LMAO IF WE WERE TALKING IMAGINARY SCENARIOS SPANKBANK THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT LONGER AND YOU'RE RIGHT HE WOULD BE THINKING ABT IT. CONSTANTLY. also I feel like gojo's the type to be horny and up for sex anytime so like💀 that combined with blue balls??? even I have to feel a little bad for him smh

this made me so soft....until the last paragraph 😐how dare you play with my emotions like that smh

i have a couple of GREAT asks in my inbox for the entire geto twins thing that i need to answer but you are not the only one who thinks gojo would be hurt by that..,,,,looking @ vera LOL

the idea of both geto and gojo as dads have me SO SOFT bc in the end ik the both of them would adore their children hndhhdhdndb AND HIS SON REMINDING HIM TOO MUCH OF HIM SO HE MAKES SURE THAT HE DOESNT SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WITH UNCLE GOJO?? MY HEART IS CLOSE TO BURSTING!!

[hollowisthyname]

🖊 Onyx!

I am. so sorry. I have been writing this for over a month at this point I think?? I've got a lot on this character but I'm not good at writing it down, so..... ah. yeah :') hopefully I got enough in this to justify the wait, but either way let's go!!

[as per usual, infodump under the cut]

TW // brief mention of suicide in the paragraph where I explain how they died, mentions of death throughout (ghost character, kinda hard to avoid)

Onyx Hart: ghost, performer, and excessive flirt. they are extremely fun to make up stuff about, especially bc they're one of my only extroverted characters. I have so so many ideas for them and they're one half of the third "cannon" pair of characters ("pair" meaning they have backstory together and I associate them with each other so it's easier just to think of the two of them as their own little group. the other two are Marcel and Sorrel, and Cory and Rhys).

they have black hair that goes down to a little above their shoulders and then flips out (think Kokichi, but slightly less drastic), and the.... sides? of their hair, like the parts that go in front of your ears or something, are much longer than the rest of it, about to the middle of their chest. their skin is v pale bc they're kinda anemic and don't spend much time in the sun, and their eyes are really bright green and reflective like a cat's. they've got freckles across the bridge of their nose and they kinda glow. I don't have all the details of their outfit worked out yet (bc I just changed it a bunch ehehe) but their general style is v punk. ripped denim stuff, chokers, pins, etc. they wear mostly dark colors but with bright accents, it's extremely cool :] the kinds of clothes they wear for performances are..... very different. their color palate for shows is black and gold, and they wear a lot of flowy stuff- silks and whatever makes them look extra cool flying through the air like they do. it's definitely fun to watch, but they're actually pretty hard to get around in. Onyx is not a fan.

so. ah. for all I've thought about this character, I don't actually have a backstory for them fully formed or written out at all. I know some basics- performing has always been a big part of their life, of course, but the reasoning for that varies. they come from a family of acrobats, they ran away and joined the circus, they were recruited by Lavka very young..... so many possibilities. so instead of trying to decide on one now, let's skip to the part I know more about!! enter Lavka, the ringmaster :D

very brief explanation of Lavka: fallen angel/deity, amnesia, still powerful and malicious enough that he decides to create a.... what do I even call it? magic circus thing??? and it traps people or he kills them or something. it's bad but very cool. think of him as like, a siren, but tall and with a lot more eyes.

the thing about a circus is, you need acts. and Onyx is the star of the show. Lavka went around recruiting people to work for him and thought they'd make a good central act. they were great, and the two of them worked together for a while. aaaaand.... that's as far as I've gotten :') I have virtually no concrete story for them, and seeing as the thing that would probably prompt them to leave the circus is meeting another of my characters and I've been avoiding deciding anything for that..... yeah.

it's the same thing for how, exactly, they became a ghost. they died by suicide during a performance, but I don't know when, how, or why. gotta work on that but I'm awful at backstory and I can't always think abt it without triggering myself :') I think my brain lets me create either a personality or a backstory for a character and. not both hgdf

however!! this brings us to their personality, which I somehow completely forgot to do earlier even though I've come up with much more for it than the backstory!!!! I said extrovert and flirt already, but I don't think that encompasses just how good they are at talking to people. hardly anyone could work a crowd the way they do- Lavka and Marcel can both be good with people as well, but they all do it in very different ways. Marcel becomes whoever people want them to. Lavka radiates power and charisma. and Onyx is just impossible to look away from- they're always doing something, and it's always flashy and spectacular and amazing to see. even when they're not performing, there's just something kinda irresistible about them. they're also a very good liar, which- esp when combined with Marcel's ability to completely change how they act at the drop of a hat- has gotten them into some. situations (it's gotten them out of them too, though, so it kinda evens out) Onyx is the kind of person who will push themself past their limits to keep up appearances and please everyone. and once they can't take it anymore, they completely shut down. they'll shut themself off from everything and everyone until they have the energy to go back to acting the way they always do in front of people. usually when this happens they go completely nonverbal, and are very easily overwhelmed. it's a stark contrast from how they usually act, and they only trust a handful of people enough to actually interact with them when they shut down. most of the time around people they're constantly being charming and performance-y, but when they're just with close friends they chill out some. they're still p energetic most of the time, and they love pulling pranks on.... everyone (especially Elis, and Cory's their partner in crime for pranks) but they're not trying to make everyone love them all the time. they have HEAPS of anxiety btw, they might be great with people but that doesn't stop them from worrying that no one likes them. they're very much a people-pleaser and have trouble saying no and setting boundaries, but at the same time they have no problem with confronting someone they don't like or who hurt anyone they care about. (it seems contradictory but it's not I promise)

and then we have their whole story with Everest. I think I explained this before but I'm not sure and you've probably forgotten by now, so basically: I came up with an Onyx-centric "au" where Onyx is one of two humans from a human world to get transported into a magical one. and from that came Everest, complete opposite to Onyx and their best friend. Everest is also mostly not included in my main story bc he's my newest character and I don't have as much about him, but he's cool and I love their whole opposites-attract dynamic. I really don't have any more backstory for this version than I do for the main one, and I'm kinda wavering between the two of them running away and getting transported together, or them not knowing each other before getting sent to the magic world but ending up in the same place and becoming friends. anyway that whole thing is kinda confusing but v fun!!

now it's time for a list of facts that don't need whole paragraphs!!

- Onyx knows sign language p well bc of going nonverbal a lot (they all have to so they can talk w Rhys effectively, this is my explanation for them lmao) - they really want to perform with Elis (they have wings, great for acrobatics stuff) but Elis absolutely hates the idea - I originally came up with them for a. wattpad applyfic. absolutely fucking amazing reason I know - they're just transparent enough that it's kinda unnerving but you wouldn't really know why unless you knew what you were looking for - various other species ideas for them are selkie and nine-tailed-fox spirit - Onyx's pronouns are actually they/it and a lot of neopronouns but I usually just use they/them bc I either forget or worry abt being judged (for absolutely no reason lmao)

a moodboard I made for them!! I need to remake it bc I figured out how to make them better but I still really like how this one looks :D

[perap]

Ngl hearing your Avery headcanons would be neat!

HEAVY BREATHING

ok perap. you are going to talk about avery. you can be normal when you talk about him. you can do this.

ok first thing i wanna say is that, much like half the pokemon fandom on this website, i too have absorbed him into my personality day one of the dlc. he literally hits all the marks on character traits/tropes that i love and im so happy he exists and i can(have) write(n) actual essays about him. this also means i project on him like a bitch bc i both want to be him (ok. maybe i want him to be like me, i mean, hes already got the family disappointment part down so.) and want to date him (also like half the fandom). btw fun fact as of the time of writing this i have officially thought about him for exactly 200 days in a row :)

welp. off to an absolutely terrible start on the whole being-normal-about-him thing huh

ok anyways actual stuff abt him now!!!1!!

a while back i mentioned he was was demiromantic but i want to specify that he is bi-demi and if there is ANY TIME anyone tries to complain abt me making him a special snowflake i will add another label. dont test me. hes also ace (acery) bc i have this thing thats like gaydar except its ace-dar.. ace-ar? idk but i have that for fictional characters and his ace frequencies id received from him were through the roof. totally not because im aspec and i like him or anything and also that ive typoed his name like 30 times already. also he is touch starved and doesnt know ANYTHING abt romance bc he is dumb :)

this is a good time to say that it comes as a surprise to literally no one that i unironically and unapologetically ship him w klara bc im like that and i have to ship the best friends. YES they become friends after they get arrested at the wendys. it takes a while tho and even longer for them to start dating bc hes demi and also i l o v e slow burns. like they really dont like each other during ioas storyline but reluctantly work together anyways bc they find a couple of kids more threatening than each other, apparently. and shenanigans ensue. THATS HONESTLY what originally drew me in to their characters and god bless honey and mustards souls for putting up w them both at the same time because. god they are stupid. disaster assholes. dgtuusgudftzu. like i said this before but they legit have a jessie and james dynamic except way more petty and rude to each other and WHEN i saw OTHER PEOPLE on THE TUMBLRWEBZ say that EXACT THING about them i lost my fucking mind bc!!! THATS THEM!!! AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY WHEN I SEE OTHER PEOPLE W THE SAME HCS AS ME AND I JUST!!! GO CRAZY GO STUPID YA KNOW!!!!

but ya in my au they get married in like 2030 because i said. spoilers.

ok but abt the shenanigans thing, they are both just inherently prone to slapstick (his powers especially open up so many opportunities for stupid gags) and i just REALLY love how expressive they are and i like imagining how animated and eccentric avery can be... like thats just my love for the style of old cartoons creeping its way into my interests sydjsysjs

ok other random things: he is a germaphobe and doesnt want to touch anything ever, i mean hes got those stupid gloves on which would help but it doesnt even matter bc he just... uses his powers for everything so its like. he has negative muscle mass in his arms before he gets jacked ofc AFGSHSHVJ bc he doesnt ever have to do anything with them.

also hes afraid of bugs bc psychic and that makes him an easy target for klara to fuck w him :}

OHHH... did u kno? (i posted it before so maybe) avery secretly has another power... each of his tails is filled with immense love, and when touched, if he likes you, that love and happiness will be transferred to you... its true...! but ONLY if he likes you. if he doesnt, well he wont curse you or anything like that cuz he cant (he wishes he could tho) but he will forcibly move you 10 feet away from his person... vertically.

hmm.. more about him being a fox... he wasnt even supposed to stay as a ninetales but foxes are my favorite animal so i got attached to the idea bc its rly indulgent... and also? i think it works so much better for his lore that he isnt a psychic type but the stuff abt his family lineage and how his powers work with the igi lore surrounding the furries is a WHOLE other can of worms and im not about to make this post a biography and lore essay lmao.

speaking of his family stuff... the big change to his arc in igi is that he doesnt become a gym leader... and this is entirely due to the fact i may have read way too much into his character and came to my own conclusions about where his arc was headed. i was honestly satisfied with the fact it was left open-ended at the conclusion of ioas storyline cuz that meant i could interpret his future however i wanted and still have some merit but... they really did just vaporize all my character development id made for him with the release of the second dlc. i mean, i expected it, but i was still let down. guess its no ones fault but my own for feeling betrayed! and i am the ONLY person on this planet who was adamantly against him being a gym leader and i will probably be called a fake fan and a loser for not supporting his "dream" but... once again with the worms and not wanting to go into it all here.

THAT WASNT THE FIRST TIME ID ~ALLEGEDLY~ MISINTERPRETED HIS CHARACTER THO... i... i made the man TOO SMART... i gave him TOO MANY iq points and i fucking lost it when i realized... fucking.. ok... i had figured, after getting fired or whatever from being a gym trainer, he had maybe somewhat tried to not levitate people, or at least acknowledge that he probably shouldnt have been doing that... not because hes concerned for other peoples personal space or safety... oh no, it was because he just didnt wanna get kicked out from the dojo like he did from the gym. and then the fucking. twilight wings episode came out where he was just casually harassing that poor man and i was like GOD i really gave him TOO MANY BRAINCELLS HUH. FUCK he is an IDIOT he is SO STUPID...

ok. ya know what? ill say my reasons for why i accidentally made him Think Thoughts for once. i will end this off with an angsty thing. as a treat. because i like angst and i like hurting him :o) ya see, after hed lost his position as gym trainer, his family (parents? grandparents?? whoever) were Not happy with him... they basically ~banished~ (OoOoh scary) him until he could prove he was capable of holding the title of gym leader. and i thought maybe that would smack at least enough sense into him to not repeat the same mistake that got him into this mess in the first place... though i cant make any promises considering hes a jerk and his attitude gets in the way of all logic and reasoning. so yes there is a lot more edgie stuff where that came from cuz its igi and thats how it is :o)

SO YEAH SHDBSHDH!!!1!11!! THANKS FOR ENABLING ME I LOVE THIS MAN A L O T. THERE WERE OFC OTHER THINGS I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO ADD BUT IT WAS GETTING TOO LONG.

IF U MANAGED TO MAKE IT THIS FAR HERE IS A WIP ANIMATION OF HIM AS THE DANCING BRAZILIAN DOG MEME I HOPE TO COMPLETE IN THE NEAR FUTURE

[slaygentford]

Please talk about Brienne and Cersei and Cersei getting the redemption arc from meeting Brienne. Please. I am DESPERATE!

this is SO nebulous bc cersei is truly so fucking evil it’d take so much work and some fundamental rewrites. I think it’d be easier to swing with the show verse than books, bc my interpretation has always been that show cersei is fun evil, whereas book cersei is genuinely ill. but still there’s so many POSSIBILITIES. like, what if: somehow cersei is the one brienne strings along as prisoner. she’s revolted but also, primarily, JEALOUS. jealous in a way jaime would never be jealous of brienne. jealous bc brienne did the one thing cersei knows to be impossible: to be born a woman but play a man’s role. how long would she sneer and mock until she couldn’t help herself anymore and demanded to be taught how to fight. until she had to poke and prod and learn how brienne became what she is. cersei watching brienne take out 7 men like 

pictured: lannister twins be the same 

the main thing with jaime and brienne’s connection is that they recognize themselves in each other, and that doesn’t work w cersei, so I think this – seeing what they both wanted to be (a knight for cersei, a beautiful lady for brienne) – could take the place of that soulmates mutual recognition moment, fill up that narrative space.

(obv the valonqar prophecy has completely shaped book cersei’s character so either it doesn’t exist or jaime is more evil or smth idk there’d be some rewriting involved in that whatever DONT think abt it. also if jaime is the valonqar and not like, arya in his face, then brienne is a major part of jaime becoming the valonqar so this wouldn’t even be applicable in this au… whatever forget the prophecy )

what kills me is that even the women around cersei are like, deeply conniving. yes this is re taena. and when faced with a genuinely nice woman, cersei usually finds a way to believe that they’re conniving, because she’s paranoid and incapable of believing anyone is nice for the sake of it. and like. prolonged exposure to brienne esp if they were imprisoned together… eventually she’d just have to accept it, the way jaime did. she’d have to just accept that this is a genuinely good, kind person. and like jaime I think it’d absolutely cause her brain to blue screen, do a hard restart. HERE IS A WOMAN WHO REPAINTS YOUR WORLD. brienne’s POWER and strength. ugh 

idk what cersei could confess in the bath. perhaps not an evil she’s done but an evil done to her, bc ultimately that was jaime’s confession, the evils he witnessed. porhap she could confess how she loved rhaegar, her horror at being her father’s pawn. perhap some new invented plot point that George did not think of. perhap perhap

also George doesn’t know this and don’t tell him but cersei was born to be butch. I was obsessed with this in the show btw, and part of why I say this could work better w show verse: how cersei didn’t let her hair grow out after it was cut, how she stopped wearing gowns, started with these like, long tunics and masculine coats. like this idea that somehow that ordeal freed her, that she finally became herself, that the outside could for once match the inside… fuck jaime, cersei’s head being shorn on the kingsroad and her suddenly seeing a mirror in brienne…. oh man. I s2g if you just gave cersei a fucking pair of pants her life would change in an instant 

I do think that like, cersei, esp book cersei, could never make a full redemption arc, because she genuinely enjoys being bad so much, in a way jaime doesn’t. jaime’s evil is about 50% bluff (trebuchet) and 50% legit (bran), and even when he is being genuinely evil, he half-asses it and like, has dissociative spirals. you could at least show a little enthusiasm about murdering children, my man. but all cerseis are legit quite horrible.

this is already too long but also from brienne’s side of it, the idea that she was always fated to get tangled up w this fucking family one way or another

[verritytorres]

calron fake dating au - unfinished outline

THROUGHOUT ONE MONTH (OCTOBER 2017)

·      still not fully clear on why they fake date but we getting there

o   call announces it for shits n giggles at a party on Thursday night (drunk? to celia the gossip queen?) then morning after everyone’s like “oh congrats on finally dating aaron btw!” “what”

o   aaron’s pissed at first cause that’s actually a shitty thing to do also he’s been pining for going on two years now do u have any idea what this does to his Heart

o   that is, until something happens that convinces him

§  some bully fuckers in the locker room after soccer practice like “who we gonna get today, chad?” “well everyone in here is off limits so--” aaron chimes in “what do you mean… off limits” “look youre a respectable guy so we treat you right, always have. teammates honor and all that. so we get at other people instead” (cue Dark Aaron) “and who are these other people” “that scrawny guy hunt for example” “oh, you mean call hunt my boyfriend?” “your…what?” “you heard me. if you fuck with him, you and I might have a problem. and nobody wants that.”

§  later, aaron texts call “I’m in.”

§  “sweet. what changed ur mind?” “That’s not important.”

·      the only person that knows is tamara bc helou its tamara they don’t keep secrets from each other

o   STUDY SESSION AT THE GABLES FRIDAY AFTERNOON (they all in the same regular algebra class cause theyre gay and therefore not great at math):

§  t: yo btw have you guys dealt with the whole “youre dating” rumor? if anyones been giving you a hard time tell me so I can eliminate them off the face of the earth

§  c: actually, aaron and I are just gonna roll with it

§  t: wait. youre actually gonna date?

§  c: NO no no no we’re gonna fake date. scam the fuck outta the school also it’s a bit too awkward to go back on it now for me so

§  t: (turns and gives aaron a Look cause she knows this fuckers been pining forever) are YOU on board with this?

§  a: (busies himself with his hw to hide his blush) yeahsurewhynot

§  t: (looks up and shakes her head) this is gonna end badly, calling it now

o   t: math is acephobic. im asexual and its inconveniencing me

·      Saturday! aaron goes over to the hunt household to hang out like he usually does

o   alastair loves him

o   alastair: so when did this happen?

o   call, who is sitting knee-to-knee w aaron on the couch like he always does: when did what happen

o   alastair: (gives him a Look) the watsons came in this morning. Brenda told me the news, im just surprised you didn’t tell me

o   call:…..what news…….

o   alastair: you two are dating, right? which im totally fine with btw, i had a boyfriend back then too, and im really happy for you, youre both mature enough that I don’t have to give the whole speech—

o   call and aaron are looking at each other in Horror

o   call: OKAY THANKS DAD WE’RE GONNA WALK HAVOC NOW BYE (nyooms outta the house with aaron and havoc in tow)

o   out in the park

§  c: so I guess we gotta find out how to sell this whole (gestures between himself and aaron) thing

§  a: (snorts) thing?

§  c: yeah thing. if my hermit dad knows, then we can assume just about everyone in town knows too. which is not the idealest

§  a: why’s that?

§  c: cause then we gotta act all coupley to everyone or else they’ll be like “wait a minute…are they really dating??”

§  a: well, not with everyone. tamara knows

§  c: yeah, that’s one person in a whole townful of people

§  a: we spend the majority of our time with tamara though

§  c:….point. we still gotta sell it to everyone else

§  a: it cant be that hard, just hold hands a little here, drop some compliments there

§  in reality aaron doesn’t wanna do Big Couple Things or else he might literally spontaneously combust. its possible, hes read abt it

§  c: oh come on, no one gonna buy that. we gotta pull out all the stops

§  a: (cursing silently) like?

§  c: hugs. general lack of personal space. kiss on the cheek, maybe. pet names.

§  a: (calming his crazy heart) oh. I see.

§  c: as long as youre alright with it, of course! I don’t wanna do some creeper shit and like accidentally assault you

§  a: nonono I get it im alright with it. (pause) we should uh..have some signal, though

§  c: signal?

§  a: in case one of us goes too far or something. nothing too obvious, but just obvious for us to notice

§  c: hm. ok, how bout asshole?

§  a: (bursts out laughing) asshole????

§  c: (grinning) yeah, asshole. I never call you an asshole, you never call me an asshole. so if you say “youre a bit clingy there, asshole” I know I should back off

§  a: that- that hardly sounds affectionate

§  c: well duh you gotta say it in an affectionate way. like this (sticky sweet voice, batting eyelashes) “asshole”

§  a: (still laughing) okay. asshole it is.

§  theyre both quiet ntil aaron speaks up. “I do have one request”

§  “which is?”

§  “this is gonna sound weird, please don’t ask but…don’t kiss me. not unless I tell you to.”

§  call looks at him like ??? then says “sure, man. nix on smooches. you wish you had a taste of these bad boys, though.”

§  aaron turns away bc hes a blushy boi. “youre making it weird.”

·      Monday rolls in

o   call is in Zombie Mode making himself coffee on his antique expensive coffee machine (the best Christmas gift ever thanks alastair)

o   alastair, making pancakes: shouldn’t you bring an extra to school today?

o   sleepy call, pouring himself a solid triple shot of espresso: whaddya mean

o   alastair: if youre gonna be dating aaron, you gotta treat him right. bring out the big guns, you know

o   call, suddenly wide awake: what????

o   alastair: I will not have that boy deprived of real boyfriend privileges

o   so call leaves his house with two coffee cups

o   he walks over to where he knows aaron is at the time (music room, playing piano)

o   before he heads in he looks inside and just. stares at aaron playing the piano. gay descriptions galore

o   aaron hits a wrong key and swears

o   c: well that’s a big word

o   a: (practically jumps out of his seat, swearing again)

o   c: and that’s an even bigger one

o   a: oh, its you. good morning, call

o   c: morning, snookums

o   a: (smiling tentatively) snookums? is that really the best you can do

o   c: that’s just scratching the surface, and also its Monday morning so im not at my peak. anyway i brought you coffee

o   a: thanks. already “pulling out all the stops” I see

o   c: I plan to be an especially doting boyfriend (glances at the door, sees a few people staring at them) I..gotta get to my locker (kisses his cheek, aaron goes rigid, call whispers at his ear) we got an audience. see you at lunch

o   aaron sits there for a while after call leaves staring at the ceiling and asking himself why

·      lunch in the magisterium high caf

o   jasper: I JUST—I STILL DON’T GET IT

o   aaron, biting calmly at his sandwich: what don’t you get

o   jasper: there are at LEAST a dozen guys in this school ready and willing to go out with you and you go with CALL

o   call, resting his head on Aarons shoulder, much to Aarons chagrin: its ok dude you can just say youre jealous

o   jasper: YEAH A LITTLE. Aarons like…the best catch out here. the golden boyfriend. the guy that would tell your parents “yes sir ill have him back by nine thirty sharp :)”

o   aaron: I wouldn’t say that to alastair

o   call: yeah you would (turning back to jasper) who are these dozen guys? I gotta know whos planning to fight me so I can know their weaknesses beforehand

o   jasper: kai hale, for one

o   aaron: hmm. he is kinda cute

o   call: HEY

o   jasper: definitely cuter than hunt

o   aaron: is there something particularly wrong with call?

o   jasper: OPEN YOUR EYES HES A TRASH MAN

o   call: takes one to know one

o   aaron, shrugging and finishing his sandwich: maybe I like trash men

o   call laughing his ass off, jasper groaning: youre killing me, stewart. youre literally causing my cells to stop functioning

·      study hall w aaron and tamara

o   t: (has been frowning at him for the past 10 mins)

o   a: okay you clearly want to talk about something so out with it

o   t: are you sure about this thing with call?

o   a: what, the dating thing?

o   t: the fake dating thing

o   a: right. its fake. yeah im fine

o   t: we both know that’s a lie, aaron. we don’t lie to each other

o   a: (sardonically) yeah well. ive been lying to him since we were freshmen

o   t: having a crush isn’t lying, per se, but that’s besides the point. im worried about you, man. I don’t want call to hurt you accidentally, and then consequently be hurt himself by not knowing how he hurt you, cause then ILL be hurt by best friend collateral drama

o   a: I get it, tamara

o   t: then I reiterate: are you sure about this?

o   big internal monologue

o   a: yeah. im sure.

·      INSERT SLOW BURN

·      CARNIVAL

o   it’s the fall festival since its October theres pumpkins everywhere and haunted houses and candied apples and hay bales and rides and its lit

o   the iron trio+jasper go always

o   theyre walking around, aaron looking at the decorations, tamara call and jasper arguing abt which haunted house to visit first

o   c: the mansion is the obvious choice just sayin

o   j: but theres a haunted hospital ffs

o   c: ive been in enough hospitals to know for a fact that they are all haunted so that doesn’t excite me as much as a MANSION

o   t: how bout…we happy medium at…the graveyard one

o   a: how bout we don’t go to any of those and just go to the roller coasters instead

o   t: aaron, I love you, but youre a weenie sometimes. you can wait outside if you don’t wanna go

o   a: im not leaving you guys alone! (catches calls eye, glances at jasper, call nods a lil, aaron drapes his arm round calls shoulders) who am I to let my boyfriend into that scary place alone?

o   c: (smiling and rolling his eyes) its not that scary, but I appreciate the offer, sugar

o   aaron? oh yes he is dead

o   j: (GAG) youre going to give me diabetes with all these sweets

o   t: (mischievous smile) I dunno, jasper. ever since they started dating they’ve been acting kinda the same as always

o   aaron Tenses, call raises an eyebrow at him then turns to tamara

o   c: what were you expecting, rajavi? showers of pda everywhere?

o   t: oh come on, if any one of us is going to be That Couple its you two.

o   a: LOOK THERES CARAMEL APPLES OVER THERE (nyoom)

o   turns out the haunted whatevers are not open yet, they open at nightfall, so they head to the roller coasters

o   surprise surprise call hates roller coasters

o   “if I die I want you all to know that you are not written into my will therefore I owe you nothing”

o   hes clinging to aaron the whole ride and aaron is like if theres a god up above…….

o   then they reach the hay bales and jaspers like “im gonna head over to the bumper boats w tamara you guys can wait here or do whatever I guess”

o   “we’re just fine going with you guys??”

o   jasper looks at call weirdly and says “um, no youre not. you lovebirds need some alone time. get your 10 things I hate about you on in these haystacks.”

o   they get redder than the ripest tomatoes

o   t: UHHH HES RIGHT BYE GUYS (N Y O O M)

o   they just stand there awkwardly for a while when call says “wanna head over to the carnival games” “please”

o   they walk over to the game area in a kinda uncomf silence until aaron breaks it

o   “what did jasper mean by 10 things I hate about you?”

o   call stares at him “are you serious right now”

o   aaron looks at him meaningfully

o   “oh my god. oh my god. have you never watched 10 things???”

o   “no?”

o   “oh my god. dude. its just like star wars all over again. we’re watching it, no excuses.”

o   aaron smiles at him “okay. whats it about?”

o   “well if I tell you that ruins the whole goddamn surprise, doesn’t it, pumpkin?”

o   he laughs. “it does, doesn’t it.”

o   they get to the carnival game: the hammer game. the biggest prize is a huge stuffed monkey

o   aaron turns to call grinning and calls like “you do know this game’s rigged right. theres no way you can win.”

o   but of course. aaron wins.

o   call is just gaping at him and whispers “you fucking beefcake you.”

o   aaron says “here’s your prize, boyfriend” and fucking winks

o   is call dying? we don’t know this aint his pov

o   c: it looks like you

o   a: thanks

o   call suddenly looks behind aaron with wide eyes and grabs Aarons hand so Aarons brain goes like WHAT…..

o   “heads up,” call whispers, “group of classmates at eight o clock”

o   AY ILL KEEP WRITING LATER GOTTA ACTUALLY START OR ELSE I NEVER WILL

·      call and tamara have always attended every one of aaron’s soccer games, but for some reason this one felt different

o   theyre cheering frm the side with their banners as always (banners say STEWART FOR SOCCER GOD and LUCKY NUMBER 8 and most recently THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND!!! maybe that last one makes this different)

o   its also rainy as heck the banners had to be laminated this time (do not underestimate being friends w a rich kid)

o   they both in they raincoats while Aarons in full soccer gear in the RAIN rifp

o   but the team is falling behind so theyre like FUK OUR CHEERING ISNT WORKING WHAT WE DO

o   at halftime

§  t: lets get the fuck down there we gotta give him a pep talk

§  c: what r we gonna say

§  t: HELL IF I KNOW LETS JUST DO IT

§  so they head down to where aaron is sitting, drinking from his water bottle

§  c: cant you just tilt your head back and stick your tongue out in this weather

§  t: shut up. aaron we are here to peptalk you. (INSERT PEPTALK IDK HOW TO PEP)

§  exit tamara

§  a: (wince) we’re that bad today, are we

§  c: yeah youre kinda sucking

§  a: well that’s not the supportive boyfriend comment I expected

§  c: doting. I said I was going to be doting, not supportive. and definitely not a liar

§  a: whatever. tamara’s pep talk helped, so I guess ill get my head in the game

§  coach rockmaple blows his whistle for the team huddle. aaron salutes call with two fingers before standing up to go and then call blurts “ice cream. on me. if you win the game, that is.”

§  aaron stares at him and then smiles. “you’re on.”

§  TEAM MAKES A HUGE COMEBACK AND WINS THE GAME!!!

§  everyones celebrating and grinning and cheering and call catches aarons eye and theyre smiling, smiling, smiling, and suddenly call finds himself right in front of aaron and aaron is cupping his face and its raining and it sounds like something out of a movie and his face is so close and aaron’s freckles are covered in droplets and so are his lashes and call never really thought about it but if he leaned in, tilted his head just a bit, they would be kissing, and call could pass it off as having an audience—

§  aaron pulls call’s face towards him and kisses his forehead, leaning his head to call’s ear to say “you owe me an ice cream.”

§  and call’s heart all but leaps from his body, he feels lightheaded, and aaron looks fucking beautiful like this, his eyes alight with triumph and joy and something else

§  he doesn’t think till he gets home that wanting to kiss aaron for real wasn’t part of the plan.

·      they first kiss at a party cause everyones like KISS KISS KISS so call (lightly drunk) cups Aarons cheek and leans in. aaron.exe has crashed is not working holy fuck this is the best thing ever and all those gay ass descriptors. everyone cheers in the bg

o   call is dronk, aaron is driving him home, call is being supper chattery and super flirty (think: drunk Laurent)

o   alastair is sleeping so aaron has to make sure call is quiet when going to his room

o   a: (a lil breathless cause hes basically carrying call) be quiet, your dad is sleeping right there

o   c: (winking with both eyes) what do I get in returnnnnn

o   a: oh my god

o   aaron finally gets him to his bed, drapes him on it and tucks him in, hes about to lean away when call grabs his shirt collar to keep him there

o   “aren’t you gonna give your fake boyfriend a proper goodnight?”

o   AARON.EXE HAS CRASHED HE IS DEAD HE IS GONE GOODBYE

o   “youre drunk. i—we can’t—youre not yourself right now. goodnight.”

o   “mm. alright. you owe me a kiss, though.”

o   aaron huffs. he cant breathe right. and just because its 3 am and hes feeling reckless after kissing him tonight and call’s just about asleep and he probably wont remember this in the morning, he whispers, “sure.”

·      THE BREAK

o   Aarons leaning on his kitchen counter, trying to look casual but ultimately failing. call has a sneaking suspicion as to why hes acting this weird but by god he will not say it. its too embarrassing on its own.

o   “so.” aaron says. “you kissed me last night.”

o   fuck. dammit. “did i?”

o   “yeah, in the middle of the party. everyone was watching.”

o   call spots himself a loophole and hell if he doesn’t take it. “sweet. looks like drunk me was up for a show.”

o   “what do you mean?”

o   “well, it was a full party. this whole thing is build on other people believing we’re together

o   “’sides. it’s all just fake anyway.”

o   aaron stops, his hands fists. “right,” he croaks. “its all fake.”

o   “dude…you okay?”

o   “yeah. yeah im fine.”

o   “don’t lie to me aaron, i can see youre upset. spit it out.”

o   aaron takes a deep breath and quickly says “is it really all fake?”

o   call freezes. his mind replays last week’s game, and the subsequent breakdown he had because he likes aaron. and fuck. fuck. he swore he was being quiet about it.

o   “yeah,” he says after a while, forcing the words out. “it was always fake, that’s the idea.”

o   “lately, it hasn’t felt fake.”

o   call’s stomach drops. “if you ever needed to stop you could’ve just said—“

o   Aarons eyes are closed. “last night didn’t feel fake.”

o   because it wasn’t, because im a shitty human who fell for you and since I did this has all been horrible self indulgence, because I like you and you don’t like me.

o   “well it was, so I don’t know why youre making such a big deal out of it.”

o   call hates the things that come out of his mouth.

o   something in aaron seems to catch fire, his eyes fly open and he’s angry, call has barely ever seen him angry at him. “it’s a big deal for me, you kissed me”

o   “I didn’t—I didn’t mean to!”

o   “then if you didn’t mean to, why did you!”

o   calls head is spinning, he doesn’t know what hes doing at this point. “I was drunk, aaron, people fuck up when theyre drunk”

o   “I told you not to kiss me, but you went and did it anyway, do you have any idea how that felt—“

o   “I don’t, aaron, because I don’t feel the things you feel!”

o   aaron freezes completely, his eyes wide

o   “right. I forgot. sorry. right.”

o   theyre quiet, and call knows he fucked up. he doesn’t know exactly how, but he knows.

o   “I…I gotta go. bye.”

o   aaron slams the door behind him, call hears the car door slam and aaron driving away before he manages to whisper “wait”

o   but its too late. hes alone.

o   well, not alone. havoc noses his waist and looks up at him with huge, worried eyes.

o   “come on, boy. lets go for a walk.”

o   he ends up at the park—the same park he first discussed the thing with aaron. he sits down under a tree and rests his head on his knees, havoc cuddling up to him.

o   he kind of drifts off, loses track of time. his mind is kinda blank right now. he knows that’s probably a shitty coping mechanism but what the fuck can you do.

o   he doesn’t want to do anything right now. he doesn’t want to deal with anything or anyone right now.

o   he doesn’t want to feel anything, because feeling is what got him into this mess in the first place.

o   he’s so wrapped up in his personal void that he doesn’t hear the footsteps behind him until he hears jasper say “you look miserable.”

o   call doesn’t look up. “fuck off, jasper.”

o   he does not fuck off. instead call hears leaves crunching  as jasper sits down next to him.

o   “he’s at tamara’s. been there for the past hour.”

o   “didn’t ask.”

o   “but you wanted to know.” calls quiet at this.