#i fucking love that shit. keep at it everypony

[apollos-boyfriend]

people who refer to their favorite characters with pronouns that deviate from what said character uses in canon are stronger than any us marine

[fernsnailz]

January 2024 Review Roundup

hello everypony‼️ something i want to do through 2024 is a mini review series where i recap some of the media i watched/played/read at the end of every month. this was inspired by tumblr user ponett’s 2023 media wrap-up, it's a great collection of quick reviews so go check it out!

i’m doing this partially as writing/analysis practice, but mostly because my memory is really bad and i want to keep track of what i've seen this year. with that said, my thoughts on everything i finished in january 2024 is under the cut :]

Portal 1 + 2

yyyup i beat Portal and it only took me (checks watch) 13 years

the first time i played Portal 2 was at a friend’s house when i was in middle school, and i had a fuckin blast. but after all that time... it still holds up! i don’t think anything i have to say about Portal will be particularly new since people have been praising this series since it came out. the writing, the level design, even the controls feel tight and engaging the whole way through. i played on switch and expected a bit of jank, but i was pleasantly surprised at how smooth it felt to play. the only part that dragged for me were the levels through the old aperture labs, but i think i would like them a lot more on a second replay. Portal 2 is fantastic and one of my new favorite games, the artistry behind it is truly incredible and i’m really glad i finally finished it. while i was playing Portal 2, i described Glados and Wheatly to a friend and said “they’re like if a ceiling fan could be passive aggressive and if Fozzie Bear was an evil golf ball”

I Think You Should Leave

finally. i can truly understand and appreciate Subspace Dubbed Over

i think one of my favorite things about I Think You Should Leave is how it utilizes horror. beyond sitting slack-jawed in disbelief at the crazy events unfolding before my eyes, a number of the sketches dipped into bits that genuinely kinda scared me. like the one sketch that circulates on here where the guy (pig?) in a mask crawls through a dog door, which is. genuinely terrifying. but so many of the other sketches have slow, nerve-racking pacing leading to crazy shit that would be perfect in a horror film were the context different. idk i like dissecting how horror and comedy are essentially the same thing and I Think You Should Leave was very good at enabling that <3 favorite sketches are probably “then let my wife eat the damn receipt” and “55 BURGERS 55 HOTDOGS 100 FRIES 100 TATER TOTS”

Sonic Prime Season 3

man. ohhhh man. i didn’t go into this with high expectations and i still feel let down. Sonic Prime Season 3 was definitely my least favorite “season” of the batch - abysmal pacing, very few character moments i actually enjoyed, and the things i praised about the show felt very underutilized through these episodes. Nine is the shining star of Sonic Prime and i was looking forward to seeing his more villainous side, but his character took such a sharp turn into pure evil and it felt like he spent the entire season repeating the same three lines. and as much as i praise Shadow’s writing in Prime, it doesn’t really matter when he spends half of the season trapped in a hole that he just… runs out of later.

lastly, i cannot stop thinking about how bad the pacing of this season is. three episodes for a repetitive final battle feels like such a waste of time when you see just how much they rush the emotional resolutions in the last episode. however, there is one thing i truly love about Sonic Prime Season 3 - i love the Sails and Mangey fakeout death. it's so fucking funny. like you really expect me to believe that two cartoon animals in this Y-7 rated show EXPLODED?????? absolute comedy gold.

overall, i just… don’t really know what to think of Sonic Prime. anything i enjoyed in the show was often fleeting, and much of it felt like its only purpose was to waste my time. also Rouge i can’t believe they did you so dirty oh my god

Ghost Trick

i was so proud that i figured out the secret behind Sissel’s memory loss like halfway through the game. however i also kept getting caught during the prison escape sequence like an idiot

Ghost Trick is in a similar situation as Portal where 1. it’s incredible and one of my new favorite games, and 2. there’s nothing i can really say about it that hasn’t already been said or just. shouldn’t be said. Ghost Trick is a fantastic mystery game, and because of that i think it’s best to go into its story as blind as possible. the narrative unfolds in such fascinating ways - even though the actual object manipulation gameplay isn’t directly about solving the mystery (like in Ace Attorney or other mystery games), it still ties wonderfully into the story in some incredibly unique ways.

i also really love the artstyle of Ghost Trick - i love 2D character artwork with that sharp lineweight, it reminded me a lot of Sonic Battle (another game with an artstyle i love). i was also really impressed by the 3D character models and animation - despite the limitations of the camera, you get a wonderful sense of everyone’s personality from the limited body language expressed in the overworld (even though the models lack much facial expression which. i guess they don’t really need? idk that was the only thing that threw me off). anyways yeah everyone should play Ghost Trick so Ghost Trick fans can be freed from their curse and talk about it without having to tag like 10 different spoiler tags. and for Missile

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

ok bear with me. i went into Scott Pilgrim Takes Off without reading the comics first. and i fuckin loved it

my understanding of Scott Pilgrim before SPTO was mostly from the movie (I KNOW I’M SORRY), but even with my base understanding of the series i really enjoyed this show for what it was. i found myself appreciating the time they dedicated to further develop every single character in the show - especially Ramona. she’s fantastic as the lead, i really loved watching her reconcile with her exes and seeing all of them grow instead of exploding into coins. my favorite episode was probably the one with her and Roxie - not only did i adore the movie-jumping set pieces, but you really understand the weight of Ramona’s mistakes in their past relationship and how much it hurt Roxie. despite the big climactic fight, the flashbacks are quiet, subtle, heartbreaking. Ramona’s apology is genuine, and it feels so wonderful to watch her confront her past throughout the show. also i think it’s really funny that for all these characters to become the best versions of themselves, they had to kill off Scott for most of the story

and holy shit the artstyle and animation. oh my god. i love watching something that makes me immediately go “i need to see the storyboards for this RIGHT NOW.” SPTO is such a visual delight to watch, it elevates the artstyle of the comics while also keeping what makes that style so appealing - i love the line weight on the characters, i love how much forward energy the animation has, i love the fucking. virtual boy section. as soon as i found out Science Saru was also behind Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken, everything made immediate sense. i was destined to love this show.

another worry i had going into SPTO (besides the fact that i hadn’t read the comics lol) is that the original cast from the movie was returning. i think the movie cast is fine, but i wasn’t sure how some of them would fare with voice acting for animation. however, i thought they all did a good job - i think the whole cast loves these characters and would be able to fit into them fairly easily no matter what form their performance takes, and they definitely had a good voice director in the studio with them. the only thing that felt off about the voice performances to me was that sometimes it sounded like some of their mics kept peaking?? idk some of these episodes i watched high as balls and i felt like i could hear and see every single sound and frame of the show. so that might have just been me.

god i did not. expect to have this much to say about Scott Pilgrim. i really loved this show and i’m currently reading the comics to fully catch up on the general Scott Pilgrim experience - i think reading the comics AFTER Takes Off is making me appreciate even more of the character work that went into the show. like they do so much with Mathew Patel in SPTO, a character that was. not originally around for a long time from what i’ve gathered? also i like the funny little robot. oh my GOD i cannot talk about this show anymore whatever it’s good get me out of here

Sword AF Season 1

i put on the Smosh cast’s D&D series to play in the background while i was drawing. i did not expect to think much of it. instead, i had one of the most enjoyable D&D podcast experiences since i listened to The Adventure Zone Balance???

i haven’t really enjoyed other D&D podcasts since i dropped off of The Adventure Zone, and i wasn’t expecting much from Sword AF of all things. then i saw that Shayne was playing as a druid warforged made of plants and his name was fucking Fernie and i sat my ass down and LISTENED. while i think Sword AF is currently lacking in its world and larger story, those things just. aren’t really what Sword AF is really trying to provide at the moment. it’s main focus is comedy, and the players are genuinely such a delight to watch play together and build off of each other. they mostly focus on bits and goofs for the sake of she show's comedic tone, but i still found it thoroughly enjoyable because every player embodies and performs their characters really well. idk Sword AF was an unexpected hit for me this month, i thought it was fun. and i love Fernie so much

Plastic Death - Glass Beach

so originally i wasn’t going to include music reviews in these roundups at all, but then i was entirely surprised by a new Glass Beach album and oh my god. holy shit. oh my fucking god jesus christ. holy shit. its preddy good

Plastic Death gets the low point of the album out of the way immediately. it starts with the “phone call/conversation audio” trope that i don’t particularly enjoy - HOWEVER despite me disliking this opening, 1. it sets up the overall themes of Plastic Death very quickly, and 2. the rest of the album blows this 40 second opening completely out of the water. from there, the album grows into something beautiful and uncontained, and i just. i really like it

Plastic Death captures the beauty of the temporary, asks what it means to be created for a cause you can’t fulfill, questions if you can reclaim yourself from cycles and constraints designed to destroy you. and is also about being transgender. the lyrics are abstract in a way that requires a conversation with the listener, many of the vocals obscured and smooth like waves - this album is definitely one that needs to be listened to a few times. i wasn’t sure how i felt about the vocal style at first before realizing the vocals were the main reason i was relistening to this album, allowing myself to find even more that i loved about it. the instrumentation is also incredible, i love the use of marimba in a number of songs - distant, eerie, almost skeletal. and the fucking. 8-bit section?? which kinda rules???? and that’s the only point in the album it ever shows up??????? incredible. a fleeting, somewhat silly moment that i love every time.

this album left my heart aching, in part from my connection to it and in part from the pure love and joy emanating from this music. i can feel just how much fun this music was to perform and create, a cohesion of time and sound that just clicked for me. Plastic Death made me miss playing music, which is something i haven’t felt in years. all from an album that starts with a conversation about CrankGameplay’s dead youtube channel. good lord

i like this album a normal amount. go listen to it a few times. my favorite tracks are cul-de-sac and commatose

Wish

i watched Wish with a couple of friends and knew i probably wasn't going to like it. with that in mind, i gave myself a challenge: i wanted to find one thing about this movie that i genuinely really loved. it could be anything, and loving it for ironic reasons was allowed.

here's the complete list of things i loved about Disney's Wish (2023):

i love the one shot where King Magnifico stirs an evil caldron evily. i thought it was hilarious. what was he cooking

i loved that the end credits included a reference to Dinosaur 2001 at all, and i loved that they paid homage to Big Hero 6 by showing the forgettable villain of that movie instead of their Baymax cashcow for some reason. my friends and i saw him show up in the credits and were like "who's the trenchcoat guy??"

you may notice that this list is very short and 50% of it is about the movie's credits. so yeah this movie is not very good

Wish is an empty husk of a movie. everything about it feels so, so hollow - lifeless town squares, uninspired character designs (to quote a friend: "i have all of these characters' hairstyles in The Sims"), characters whose existence is only justified to fill empty space or an overused archetype, and an "evil" villain who lacks charisma and spine in a futile effort to remind the audience of previous disney villains with actual character. even the artstyle lacks any sort of sauce, the watercolor effect they were trying to go for only makes the backgrounds and character textures run together, and the dull lighting makes things look even more faded. it's like disney was scared of making a movie that made its audience feel... anything. all to celebrate 100 years of Disney slop, baby!!!

Some YouTube videos I liked in January: 💥 An Exhaustive Look at Pokemon Brilliant Diamond 💥 TomSka's Guide to Plagiarism 💥 Paradise Bombed (this video is a great piece of journalism and i’m definitely not doing it justice by throwing it into the youtube vid list) 💥 Surprising Our Friends with Zoo Animals 💥 Did FNAF Ever Have a Good Story?

thanks for reading! next month’s roundup will be wild because i’ll likely be reviewing House of Leaves and Hazbin Hotel. can you guess which cursed house gives me a worse headache? WHO KNOWS! (hint: it's Hazbin Hotel)

[solitarydoomsday]

RAUUUGHHHH BLOCKSTUCK UPDATE FOR 6/12

RAUUUGHHGFHHH THIS HAS BEEN LIKE WAY TOO LONG IN THE MAKIGN BUT I FIGURED AN UPDATE WOULD BE FITTING FOR 6/12!!! its a super short update but i promise i won't leave you guys hanging for 2 years again lmfao. more coming soon!!! >:33

FIRST PAGE: https://mspfa.com/?s=43188&p=1

p.s. explanation for the excruciatingly long hiatus under the cut vv

i feel like i . owe you all an explaination with how long that really took to update. for fuck's sake it's been since april of 2022 since i updated it. i'm not gonna go into too much detail but pretty much Fucking Everything got away from me. that was the year my life kinda went to Shit towards the end and it sparked a really really fucking long depression that i just Couldnt Cope With so i just kind of. rotted. and so did most of my projects.

i'm on antidepressants now though, and i really wanna finish this story, even if it's gonna take me years just to finish one act. i put a *lot* of effort into this just for a simple self insert comic, and even though i don't entirely align with aselus' character anymore, i'm determined to finish what i've started. i still have a story to tell, i still have ideas and dreams for this comic, even if it wasn't initially what i wanted for it. even if it is just, at it's core, a cringy au where my self insert is friends with the main cast of characters. i still love this stupid thing, and i wanna finish it.

*however*,i'm not going to keep up with an "update schedule" anymore. i am, after all, just one guy working on this. it's not like hussie themself had an update schedule anyway. not to mention, i'm making all the music and panels and flashes all by myself, and i am learning how to use half of this shit from *scratch*. the update schedule just adds another layer of stress to the whole ordeal, and i'm not looking to add more stress to my plate with me trying to finish school and get into college early next year. i want this to be fun just as much for me as it is for anybody who decides to read blockstuck. i know that's extremely mushy for a comic like this, but i really do want this to be something i can fondly look back on as something i made that was actually pretty decent.

i already have a backlog of blockstuck panels ready to go, i'm working on one of the first flashes of the whole comic, but i'll start to slowly pump out the rest of what i've been working on when i can or . really even remember.

if you! read this novel of an explaination, thank you for listening to my creator woes, but i hope you can enjoy blockstuck as much as i have making it :) and this is !! hopefully going to be a better "start" than what i already started with.

thanks again to anybody whos stuck with the comic, and also sorry again to hussie for cussing them out when i first started this comic, lmfao. i still hate their guts but i love their work. Guh.

anyways. happy 6/12 everypony

[snellyfish]

Obligatory “what did you feel about the new episode” ask 👀💕

HI ive been out travelling and im an old man when it comes to mobile but ill try to gather my thoughts :)

Ace eating disorder represent,,, woo,,,,,, sad party blower sound,, love thst for us,,,, Holds his hand and makes out with him. Also eternally banger voice actor choice for him. Absolutely amazing performance every time he speaks.

Obligatory I love Arei. recently revamped an OC I made 5 years ago and basing a lot of her personality and stuff off of Arei. Just felt like sharing. I love Arei so much I will make her my oc methinks.

THE MOTIVES MADE ME SO FERAL I PAUSED THE VIDEOS SO MANY TIMES AND WAS LIKE AAIOGIGOGOUUGHHHH SO MANY HORRIBLE HORRIBLE FUCKED UP BLORBOS I CANT WAIT TO LEARN EVERYPONY'S SECRETS OM NOM NOM<33 Speaking of which JESUS CHRIST I really feel like the secret motives some ppl held onto, like, REALLY shouldn't have been kept to themselves omg. I'm sure there's been some behind the scenes stuff of characters gaining distaste/distrust/avoiding certain ppl after receiving certain motives;; I'm not entirely sure WHO specifically, but these are like CRAZY things to not warn the rest of the class about. Was David's the one that Arei got? Killed a man with no remorse? Huh? Shoves you pushes you shoves you into locker and swallows the key

The entire time during episode 9 I was trying and failing to open a jar of ice cream so I was a Little out of it, but from what I gather I'm really dumb and not good at mysteries so i have no clue who the hell did it. At one point I asked "alright who killed a man?" but my bestie heard "who killed min?" so I just kept saying that for the rest of the episode and crying of laughter. Guys, be honest, who killed Min- I'm not mad I just wanna know, guys-

Nico continues to piss me off a little. Teruko goes without saying she pisses me off to no end. When everyone started dragging her handwriting I was whooping and cheering and hollering it was so funny GET HER.

I liked how the two main people investigating the corpse were Arturo and Veronika. They really do get a lot of screentime together and it's starting to scare me a little. Is this like subtle ship fanservice or am I about to meet horrors beyond my comprehension as the story and cases develop. I hope one of them kills the other. They're so in love.

I also liked at one point Veronika dragging Ace's ass. They're ALSO in love btw. Yeah I'll ship my top 3 faves together, what else would you expect from me, man

Rose....<3

DAVID!!!!!!<3333 I know his ass was lying about history of depression that shit was so funny be honest bro you have unfathomable sins keep it 100% with us. If you turn out to not be fucked up or morally grey ykno I'll be a little disappointed. Just keep it real with us.

The motive that's like "where do I even start, everything about your life is worth killing for" is so funny bc if that was mine I would be like. okay. not my problem. That's so incredibly vague that means NOTHING. I'm also assuming it's Teruko's tbh, it's the only one vague and weird enough for her to be like "imma keep ot real with you chief idfk which of these are mine 🐸"

What else. I'm a little hungover

every time they brought up the fish I was like haha. like snellyfish. I'm an accomplice in Arei's murder and I didn't even know!!

kinda hashtag don't blame Hu for not telling whose motive she got bc it was a little suicide coded and very personal

That's all I'm done I forget what else happened xoxo love you all I love drdt so much--

I lied I just remembered that Eden lesbian (sapphic whatever I don't care) and laughed really hard at the idea of like. Charles opening the motive without reading the name and just thinking like "I'M A LESBIAN?????" real

Eden/Nico could be real if I didn't have a leaning negative opinion of Nico rn. I am still patient and hearing them out for now tho.

Ok Now I'm done.

[least-sexy-man-competition]

jesus fucking christ i HATE the 'Santa only cares about rudolf for his usefulness' shit. HE REDIRECTED THE BIRTH DEFECT INTO SOMETHING HE COULD BE PROUD OF. DO YALL REALLY THINK SANTA JUST GOES "AH DAMN SHIT FUCK THERES FOG OUTSIDE GUESS CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED"????? NO HE SAW RUDOLF GETTING BULLIED AND WENT "OH DAMN, UHHH WE NEED UR NOSE TO GUIDE THE WAY :)" SO, I QUOTE THE FUCKING SONG, 'ALL OF THE REINDEER (WOULD) LOVE HIM'. HE DID IT SO THAT THE OTHER REINDEER WOULD SEE THE NOSE AS SOMETHING GOOD INSTEAD OF BULLYING HIM OVER IT.

WHAT NEXT??? THE BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP IS NAKED AND STARVING BC THEYRE COMPULSIVELY GIVING AWAY WOOL???? DO YALL THINK THE WOLF IN LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD WAS ACTUALLY JUST A GUEST IN GRANDMA'S HOUSE AND RIDING HOOD MURDERED HIM?????? SMH MY HEAD YALL ARE FOOLS.

I've never seen Santa discourse and I have to admit I'm intrigued. Keep it up everypony

[growling]

Okay

Bungou Stray Dogs. My beloved, my beloathed and my ex who keeps walking back into my life for a makeout session after I swore I was done with it for the 11th time.

It is- not a good story, structure wise at least. I get raising stakes but also we started s1 with "we're frenemies with our local gang and we occasionally homoeroticly fight eachother" to *gestures vaguely at s5*

And that doesn't bother me too much tbh because I love media that cares about its audience and keeping things silly but also *ducks nuke*

The mangaka keeps having to write reasons for Chuuya to not show up and murder everypony, that's silly

Fyodor has a funny accent and a silly goofy hat and a greasy hairstyle and I guess he sometimes is smart. I guess.

Justice for my boy Karma who showed up in one episode and then Fyodor killed him for some reason, RIP my boy

Idk man I have lots of thoughts

the stakes one is so real because like. they did get higher after season 1 with the whole moby dick crashing event, but like it made sense it was fine also i liked that season. and then we got introduced to demon fyodor who apparently was even worse both described at the s2 finale and in the dead apple movie, so like, dude got hyped up massively. and then he got s3 to himself but actually its not over yet, it was actually a setup for s4-s5 and. I am asking. since fukuchi is over. and they seem to be making fyodor out to be even more threatening (every single villain is more threatening than the last. you know.) than fukuchi, the goddamn man with time travel sword, reality-altering page, vampire goons, trying to (virtually. his motives as well as execution of them are.... Peculiar to me) achieve mind control world domination....... like how do they plan to go worse than that. the problem with trying to have every single villain be more powerful than the last is that one day you just gonna run out of ideas and just write a literal undefeatable god. which is fukuchi and also fyodor but i am legitimately terrified of what they're gonna do with him in the later chapters. i am all caught up and....... its looking very exhausting already

as well as how like, in the earlier seasons we got these episodes that are just purely character driven with way lower stakes that just exist there to establish the cast, and they just. slowly stopped doing that. right now, from like season 4 up to where we are currently there has been literally ZERO breathing room for the plot, every single scene is just stressful high tension main plot main plot main plot fighting the HD/DOA and it actually made me too tense as i was watching like jesus fuck slow down. which is why i cheer and clap so much whenever i see poe also being there sometimes. thank you for your service king. as well as all the other more minor characters that appeared and nikolai getting to jest with people, as well as the Bram & Aya Adventures, regardless on whether it is "important" to the plot . and also sigma's whole introduction in the manga that just established him as an actually really nice guy that the anime just cut out to make room For The Current Main Plot auurrrrhghgh. shut up about fukuchi show me kyouka. hey where the fuck was kyouka for most of this even

like. if they just released chuuya upon all their enemies it would be over. isnt he like, the actual incarnation of arahabaki you know the. literal god. just make them use corruption after you make sure dazai can stop them from eating shit and fucking dying, deploy her at the entire hunting dogs squad and its all over. like..... chuuya could just fix everything that is going on and the writers know it so they keep making up reasons (and sometimes they don't even do that, and just ignore it) as to why actually she's not available currently. you wrote this guy to be the single most powerful genderfuck in the universe please use him . chuuya i am so fucking sorry i could treat you so much better babygirl

fyodor sure is. A Character. that exists. and like, i like him, but also... i realized i'm only ever entertained by him whenever he's being silly, like with the whole mersault ball fyozai two man comedy show, or with his interactions with nikolai (who is one of the lights in the darkness of the current arc.... please keep being entertaining king). but like, i feel like the writer(s) drove themselves into a corner by making him so inhumanly intelligent, same with dazai. like. each of the serious interactions between him and dazai (the only nda member he's allowed to talk with apparently) just feel like two kids roleplaying "i slash u in the chest with my flaming sword and u are die!!!" "but before that I DODGED and hit u with my laser beam!!" "no but I moved out the way at last second and bring out the BOMBS and then i throw them at u and u explode and are dead for real!!!!" "no but then i miraculously survive steal ur flaming sword and set u on fire and u burn and die!!!" "but before i could die i put out the fire with my water bucket and then shoot u 100000 times and-" like. it was funny the first few times it happened but.... I get it. you have high IQ. I don't like this party I wanna leave chuuya can you please pick me up

karma got fucking massacred and for what. society if fyodor instead recruited him into the DOA and sigma got to have a single normal friend and they bonded over their mutual perpetual anguish. they really just introduced a really interesting guy just to kill him off in the same episode. but they. kept fukuchi i guess

[spade-club]

Mental health update of sorts. Heavy stuff under readmore!!

Summary: still upset about getting cheated on forever ago but I'll be okay

Guess who's self harming again!! Its meeeee~

Read through some texts between my partner and one of the guys they cheated on me with. Most of it was in person (fun fact: they were roommates at the time!) So it wasnt much of it but it was still fucking uncomfortable!! I dont feel bad for reading it. I think they gave up their privacy when they did what they did tbh. But I know I shouldnt have done that because now its so easy to picture and to get the day-nightmare scenes set just right.

Me doing this was prompted by seeing him in passing at the store today. He was just shopping with his kid. As if he wasnt the gross pathetic asshole he was in those texts. And here my partner is shopping with ME, as if they werent the avoidant cheating asshole they were in those texts. All while I still dont know shit about what really happened between them!!

I have to remember that most of the time I do still love them a lot. Its just really hard to believe that they just,, got better. That they realized they were in love with me and they'll never do this again. It feels like a line. They still willingly disrespected the O N E rule I gave them. With MULTIPLE people. All while trying to convince me that I dont ACTUALLY want them to tell me if they are having sex with other people (real thing they did!! I was telling them the whole entire time "i might be okay with you sleeping with someone else but you need to tell me as soon as possible" and they kept telling me that they didnt believe I wouldnt be cool with that (which I would have been!! Duh! Or I wouldnt have said it!!) All while still actively PLANNING on NEVER telling me they were talking to two other people!! And slept with one of them!!)

I know things are better lately between us. But I cant help but think theres such a thin line here keeping me from getting hurt again. I'm afraid of trusting it, and I'm tired of having to consider it. Always having to think about it. Every time they go out, having to ask what they're doing and if I'm not sent a picture from wherever they are I panic.

The girls (which is to say the other parts of me that consider themselves my partner's girlfriends) can talk forever about how happy and safe they feel in this relationship. Genuinely, they could all go on and on and on! I know I'm sticking around here for good reason (and not just because I can't afford rent on my own!) I think its important to remember the good things and what this is all for. I wouldnt struggle this much here if I didnt love them. They make me coffee every day and open doors for me and we laugh and make music and share our little hobbies and interests together and we have such cute little patterns & routines. We're a family and we're here for eachother. We cry together all the time. They've comforted me though some wild shit. We host our little parties and get togethers as a team! We spend pretty much all of our time together (not just because I'm afraid of leaving them alone but also) because we really truly love being around eachother.

I just wish we didnt have such a rocky start that 7 months later I still can't get over it. It kills me every day that things didnt turn out just a little bit different. I would have liked going my whole life without having to have experienced how shittily they handled that. But its too late for that now!! Gotta just keep moving forward I guess! Relapsing into hurting myself over this situation is, realistically, just a slip up. These happen. I'm still recovering. I am still going to be okay. Things will be better again!! I was just triggered today but things will be better again!!

Gonna go to bed now maybe... yeah... its weed and homestuck time until the Z's drop or whateverr. Goodnight everypony!

[breathplayed]

69 and 76 for the ask game. take care!

THANK u lovely u too!!!! also Heh heh sixty nine

(69) how do you write emotional scenes? do you ever feel what the characters feel? oh jesus yeah. i actually like. this is embarrassing idk but when i write i kinda do Method Acting. i imagine the course of the character's story and how it's made them feel and shaped them, and i immerse myself completely in how i think their mental state feels like im trying on their persona, it's literally like i am roleplaying/LARPing them in my head, i try to pretend im them and how they are feeling and experiencing everything. no matter what emotion i write, if its sad or angry or scared or whatever !! i usually write in long multiple hour stretches bc i have worked myself into that characters headspace and i gotta keep going while im there

in some ways it helps because im like... not wondering how they're feeling, i Am feeling it . im pretending to be the character and even making expressions and shit (fun fact i took acting lessons and did theater for like 3 years in my early teens so it probably comes from there. bc i Remember them telling us to make urself BE the character and feel what they're feeling to understand and play them. lol) but it also hurts sometimes, i took a hiatus from tlg for a lot of reasons but one of them was that ch17 was So Fucking Hard to write. tlg!jimin's head is a Lot to be in and i felt overwhelmed, i wasnt sure i could tackle trying to like.... translate the horror/emotion of the grief of Faking Ur Death that vmin feel down into written word well enough. i was already really intimidated wondering how i could pull that off, and i wasnt ever like "oooh yeah i want to go work on that right now" bc it meant having to Be in that headspace lol. i only write tlg (or really anything super angsty) when i get inspired to imagine their feelings from like, daydreaming while driving listening to the playlist. me writing something emotional means i have to make myself feel that emotion so sometimes when i am in a rly good mood im like yeah.... writing isnt happening today, the Emotions wont go onto the page, sorry everypony

(76) what is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain? LOVE villains i smiled seeing this one again i love that u wanted to know this. answered it here!

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[the-ultimate-pie-family]

Left 4 dead ponyville day 31

*group three*

Blood: *fighting off the infected*

Infected cherry: *lands in front of blood*

Blood: come to daddy son *rans at infected cherry*

Infected cherry: *charges*

Blood: *cures cherry bringing him back to life*

Cherry: *falls to the ground* dad?

Blood: how u feel?

Cherry: better *gets up*

Melody: uncle blood?

Infected river: *vomits on group three*

The butcher: ah gross

Scarlet: hang on diane *runs up the stairs*

Blood: *hears the horde* run!!!!!!

Bill: up here guys *fires M16 at the horde*

Blood: go

Melody: *runs to the safe room*

*Group three made to the safe room*

Val: cherry?

Cherry: hi ^^

*one days went by*

Ellis: *smacks a infected with a baseball bat* bitch

Party: r we getting rescued soon?

Love bug: mhm ^^ right bill?

Bill: *sighs* no

Blood: Ellis wat about Jimmy gibs race car?

Ellis: good thinking but the gas tank is probably empty

Belle: so were fucked?

Pinkie: we can't be there has to be gas can somewhere?

Coach: maybe but we'll have to fight to get out of here because ceda isn't comin back

Nick: everypony lock and load

*they all reloads there guns*

Zoey: when these doors open find that gas

*The elevator doors open*

Blood: go now!!!!

*the all spread out looking for gas*

Smoker: *drags midnight away*

Hunter: *pounces on val*

Boomer: *vomits on love bug, johnny and deej*

Charger: *chargers through party, rave and blood*

Spitter: *spits acid at midnight running to val clawing him*

Jockey: *jumps on bill*

Francis: *kills the jockey*

Blood: *kills the charger*

Zoey: kills the spitter*

*Midnight and val gets down*

Party: *kills the hunter getting val up* u ok?

Val: is it bad?

Rave: *kills smoker getting midnight up* how u feel?

Midnight: could be better

*jimmy gibs car filled to 10*

Belle: ten more guys!!!!!!

Infect river: *is a tank roaring*

Tank: *roars throwing a giant rock*

Ariel: *gets hit by rock* ahhh

The butcher: *shoots at the tank* die mutha fucka!!!!!!!!

Melody: keep shooting *jumps side kicking the tank*

Tank: *grabs melody crushing her*

Ariel: melody!!!!!!!

Tank: *dies*

Infected river: *steps on melody coming after the rest of them*

The butcher: *gun clicks* oh shit..........

Nightmare: I got this *shoots M60* hahahahahahahahahaha

Infected river: *drops but not dead*

Diane: *runs to melody using a med kit* u ok?

Melody: I'm fine......

Nick: last one!!!! *throws gas can getting dragged* shit

Ellis: *catches it* nick!!!!

Nick: go now!!!!!

Ellis: *fills car up*

*A huge horde is coming*

Coach: get in the car now

*Bill, blood and ellis covered the rest*

Pinkie: were in come on!!!!

Deej: *pulls bill in car*

Smoker: *killed nick*

Francis: *pulls ellis in car*

Blood: start it hurry I'm running out of ammo

Infected river: *is still a tank getting up roaring*

Rose marry: *starts the car*

Scarlet: *pulls blood in car*

Rose marry: *drives threw the mall doors*

In loving memory of nick...........

Tags for deej @askdj-timelord2 nightmare comet @ask-nightmare-and-others ariel and melody @thelittlemermaidfan1989 nightmare, scarlet rose marry @spicybananacaat or @your-winged-nightmare the butcher and diane @ask-amorettevampire love bug @lovebug2523 or @lovebug2ndblog gal, cherry and creme @robin-the-special-bean Johnny @johnny549

[rantsaboutponies]

Season 9 Retrospective

One last ride.

If this final season proved anything, it’s that nothing matters anymore. I mean, it’s kind of been that way for the last few, but this one crystallized that. The final score (W-L-T) was 1-5-20; the sheer amount of “meh” episodes is staggering.

I wonder how this show will stand the test of time. If it had aired for just those first two seasons, it probably would have been a classic, “canceled too soon” series that maintained its small but passionate group of fans for decades to come. That’s not going to be the effect, though, if you keep a series going well after the point that it should have ended. If you continue out of momentum for six or seven years past its expiration date, you’re going to end up driving your fans away by creating an atmosphere of apathy, and indeed, that’s exactly what happened. Sure, diminishing returns are still returns, but you’re going to reach a point where the majority of people have dropped off, and that’s when not even your financial responsibilities will justify your existence anymore. It might ironically turn out that the longer the show runs, the less it will be remembered. For a recent example, look at what happened to the Transformers movies. From the fiscal side, you had what looked like a good thing going; it was just a whole bunch of people complaining that these movies sucked, which didn’t matter to you as long as you were still making money. And then the fifth film came out, and you lost $100 million. Everyone who was still continuing to give these movies a chance had officially run out of patience. (I guess continuing well past anyone giving a shit is something Hasbro has yet to learn from.)

Anyway, enough rambling. This final ranking is going to be tricky, since there were just so many Tie episodes that I really didn’t give a shit about, but #1 is going to be easy because there was only one Win in the entire season. That would be...

#1. “Student Counsel”: Once again, putting Starlight and Trixie in an episode together will basically guarantee hilarious dialogue. I don’t know why they’re not getting their own spin-off.

And it’s a pretty steep drop-off from there...

#2. “Between Dark and Dawn”: I guess seeing more of the sisterly relationship between Celestia and Luna was halfway interesting (even if it wasn’t that different from what we saw in “A Royal Problem”). The fact that they seemed to forget about the main storyline at the end was kind of dumb, though.

#3. “Twilight’s Seven”: You know what, at least it was different. A heist? Sure, why not?

#4. “The Last Laugh”: There’s something ironic about this show having an episode about how it’s bad to move from doing something creative (and that you love doing) to a mechanized, monotonous process of doing the same thing and losing the passion and interest you once had. I wonder if the writers were aware of what they were doing here.

#5. “The Summer Sun Setback”: When you get right down to it, this plot wasn’t too different from the finale. This one was just smaller and focused on a single event. Either way, at least Tirek and Cozy Glow had fun fucking with them a little.

#6. “A Horse Shoe-In”: Some of the teaching auditions were kind of fun, but this wasn’t a Starlight/Trixie episode that had a ton of humorous dialogue. Very disappointing.

#7. “The Point of No Return”: Twilight doesn’t freak out about minor stuff anymore! That’s why she’s going to rule Equestria very, very soon. If I lived in Equestria, I’d be terrified for my future.

#8. “Common Ground”: I kind of wish the moral here could have been, “It’s possible not to have the same interests as someone else and still have a healthy relationship with them,” but with this show, we’ll have to settle for, “If you look really, really hard, you’ll be able to find an aspect of their interest that you like enough to keep yourself entertained.”

#9. “Sweet and Smoky”: “If you’re useful, people will stop making fun of you.” The lesson of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, now in dragon form!

#10. “She’s All Yak”: “Tell me about it...stud!” I never got on board with the “Yona is best yak” train (I mostly just found her obnoxious), but I absolutely agree with the “Jesus Christ, please stop trying to kill her!” crowd.

#11. “The Big Mac Question”: This was probably the most in-one-ear-and-out-the-other episode this season. I don’t even remember what happened. Big Mac married Cheerilee, right?

#12. “Frenemies”: I’ll be honest, this is the episode that aired while I was at Everfree Northwest, and I wasn’t really paying attention. The only thing I remember about it is “Gregory’s Bell”. As far as I know, that was actually in the episode proper.

#13 & #14. “The Beginning of the End”: Weird that Sombra never came back. Nope, he’s totally super-duper for reals defeated this time.

#15 & #16. “The Ending of the End”: I’ve mentioned this before, but big, epic battles do absolutely nothing for me when there isn’t any substance to them. If some super-powerful being is fighting some other super-powerful being, it’s no different from a normal being fighting another normal being. Scaling it up doesn’t make it more interesting. The plan involving undermining everypony’s trust in each other was a good idea, but they forgot that every single background character in this show is dumb as a box of hammers and changes allegiance on a dime, so that was never really going to work. Plus, the fact that it was Discord the whole time was just...ugh.

#17. “Dragon Dropped”: Oh, really, Rarity? Now you care about Spike? Geez. We can’t end the show without Spike continuing to be a punching bag. (But he’s buff in the last episode, so it’s fine.)

#18. “The Last Crusade”: Given how a few of the later episodes on this list, I’m surprised it didn’t turn out that Scootaloo’s parents were secretly testing her the entire time. “We just wanted to make sure that you really meant it when you said you didn’t want to move!”

#19. “Uprooted”: After Sombra destroys the Tree of Harmony, the Student Six have to work together to...decide how best to memorialize it. I just wanted to remind everyone how moronic the premise of this episode was. That’s all.

#20. “The Last Problem”: God, this framing device sucked. Without it, this episode might have been higher on the list. As it was, it rendered the entire thing pointless.

#21. “Daring Doubt”: Wow, it turned out the villain wasn’t really the villain the whole time! Please ignore any contradictory information that may have cropped up in previous episodes.

Did you notice that there were three unrelated episodes this season whose titles began with “The Last...”? Talk about uncreative.

#22. “Going to Seed”: Children really don’t need more outlets encouraging them to believe adults who lie to them for their own gain and/or pleasure. There really needs to be a show that teaches, “There are people out there who profit from lying to you.”

#23. “2, 4, 6, Greaaat”: This and the next one on this list are the double-header of “It’s okay to trick and manipulate someone if you think it’ll teach them a lesson they need to learn!” episodes.

#24. “She Talks to Angel”: Notice in both of these cases (Rainbow Dash’s in the former, Fluttershy’s in the latter) that these were not, in fact, lessons that they needed to learn! Twilight and Zecora just got to be smug assholes and pat themselves on the back at the end. Yippee.

#25. “A Trivial Pursuit”: Remember, this was the episode immediately before Celestia told Twilight how qualified she was to run a country. This was a mere seven episodes before the finale. Character growth is super easy if you just say that it happened! Also, as a major trivia buff, this was just insulting on every level.

#26. “Growing Up Is Hard to Do”: This episode really brought back the name of my blog. After so many that I didn’t care about, it felt good to have a nice long rant again, and boy, did this one deserve it.

So...what will G5 bring? Different characters? Different stories? Different writers? At this point, who knows? Maybe I’ll be there to find out.

[cdc1345711]

Rick And Morty/My Little Pony Crossover Part 3

(After last night’s night of drunken intoxication the Mane 6 and the two humans are woken up by the most useful means of wake ups-the sun)

Rick:(Feeling the sunlight on his face get’s up and yells out the window)HEY CELESTIA TURN THAT GOD DAMN OVERSIZE LAMP OFF I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!!!!!”

Twilight:(Waking up)Uuuuh(and seeing everyone passed out and sleeping in weird positions)Oh sweet Celestia what did we do last night?”

Rick:(Pointing in the direction of Twilight)Don’t you WHO you did last night haha”

(Just then Rarity wakes up........right next to Twilight)

Rarity:Morning Dar......(sees she’s next to Twilight and they both blush causing a big squeal)”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!”

Morty:OH MY GOD WHAT-UH(feels his head)God my head hurts.....”

Fluttershy/Rainbow Dash:(Seeing the other sleeping next to each other)AAH”

Fluttershy:OH MY GOODNESS I’M SO SORRY RAINBOW DASH”

Rainbow Dash:NO I’M SORRY FLUTTERSHY!!!!”

Applejack:I think I speak for everypony......I uh mean every-BODY here when I say never again will we drink ‘that’ type of cider again”

Rick:Not making any promises to that(drinks from his flask and sees someone is missing)hey were’s that annoying pink one with the ear bleeding high voice?”

Twilight:What??? where’s Pinkie”

Morty:AWE CRAP WE LOST HER”

Rick:Fan-Fucking-Tastic,looks like we got ourselves a ‘Hangover’ scenario Pony edition”

(Just then Pinkie arrives with boxes that is most likely breakfast)

Pinkie:(Acting like she was unaffected by the alcohol)Morning everyone-while you guys were sleeping I went out to get us supplies for breakfast-I got pancakes,muffins,toast and waffles”

Rick:How about some bacon and eggs?”

Pinkie:Tee-hee silly Ricky,ponies don’t eat meat or eggs”

Rick:Call me Ricky again and i’ll send you to-oh wait use that line already-shit-uh........know what call me ‘Ricky’ again and you can go fu-UGH-ck yourself,because I doubt any’pony’ else wants too”

Pinkie:Well I would but again this is a kids show so I can’t really ‘fudge’ myself”

Rick:Nor do I want to see you ‘fudge’ yourself.......be a waste of fudge”

Twilight:(Confused by what they’re saying she looks at the clock and freaks out)OH NO WE’RE GONNA MISS THE TRAIN TO THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE!!!!”

(So the group hauls flanks and asses to the train station-ignoring their hangovers-and gets there in time to buy tickets and get their seats and arrives at the Crystal Empire-only to be greeted by Cadence herself)

Morty:(Still feeling the hangover)Ugh-my head is still hurting,how do you deal with this Rick?”

Rick:Years of practice Morty.......(sips from his flask)years of practice)”

Cadence:Welcome everypony to(sees their faces)my goodness what happened to you girls?”

Twilight:Please don’t ask(she hears small baby talk and immediately thinks)is Flurry here?”

Cadence:Yes she is(brings out Flurry to meet her Auntie Twily)”

Flurry:Twi-lah uhh”

Twilight:AWE(uses her magic to float her over to her)Your Auntie missed you so much(kisses her cheeks)”

Rick:(To Morty)Morty whose the baby?”

Morty:Flurry Hearts Princess Cadence’s daughter and Twilight’s niece”

Rick:How the Hell did 2 lesbian ponies make a baby-did they magic themselves up some dicks to help?”

Morty:Princess Cadence is married to Twilight’s brother Shining Armor”

Rick:(Hearing the word ‘brother’)Wait the’re ‘straight’ couples in this show? I just thought all the ponies were gay”

Morty:No they’re-well some are-but not all”

Rainbow Dash:Hey know were the nearest bathroom is.....”

Cadence:Yes it’s right there(and in a flash Rainbow flies off to the bathroom)wow-but seriously why are you girls like this?”

Twilight:Well uh you see......”

Morty:We stayed up all night partying and we’re still kinda tired”

Cadence:Awe-okay makes sense”

Rick:You know that’s bullshit right?”

Morty:Well sorry I didn’t want word getting out Twilight and the others got drunk and ruin her image”

Rick:Uuugh-God dammit Morty”

(While they wait for her- Rainbow Dash flew out of the bathroom-whether to either use it or puke-she spots a newspaper with an ‘interesting’ image)

Rainbow Dash:Oh by the Princesses(grabs the newspaper and flies to her friends)GUUUUUUUUUYS(puts it on Rick’s lap)look at this...”

Rick:My God.........you use Newspapers,I mean I know you don’t have the Techno-UUUGH-gy for smartphones or tablets but......”

Rainbow Dash:It’s what’s on the front page(the image was Rainbow and Fluttershy making out while the others watched with the title ‘Princess Twilight’s Royal Fun Night’-much to the other embarrassment)

Rick:(Reading the paper)As of last night Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle,her friends and 2 monkey like creatures were drinking what looks like cider but has a different ‘affect’ than normal ones causing her friends to grow closer to one another,maybe being promoted to the Princess of ‘Love’.....’-’Monkey Like Creatures? those mother Fuc.....”

Fluttershy:(Tearing up)Oh.....my....Nooooo”

Rainbow Dash:Our lives are ruined”

Twilight:Who did this???”

 Morty:(Reading who wrote it)Awe crap.........Flim and Flam”

Mane 6:’GASP’”

Rick:Da fucks a ‘Flim and Flam’?”

Morty:Two con-ponies who try to trick ponies into giving them their bits”

AppleJack:Those low-down dirty varmints”

Rarity:The nerve they’ve gone too far”

Cadence:I swear we’ll stop them”

(On their way to the castle they meet with Shining Armor-reading the newspaper)

Shining Armor:Twily I read the paper and don’t worry we’ll stop the Pony who made these articles pay”

Twilight:It’s nothing important-what is important is helping Rick and Morty find a crystal to get home”

Morty:Really Twilight? I mean it is our fault(whispers ‘Mostly Rick’s’)that this happened maybe we should.....”

Twilight:Morty I get what you’re saying but bringing you home is more important-I bet your family is worried sick about you”

Morty:(Realizing he hasn’t been home for a day)Oh man I like totally forgot about Mom.Dad and Summer”

Rick:I take you on adventures that last a month or even a year-I doubt they’ll be worried”

(Int he real world......or at least Rick and Morty’s Universe-Jerry is trying to call his son......for the 14th time)

Jerry:MORTIMER SMITH YOU CALL ME BACK RIGHT NOW!!!!”

Beth:Wait Morty’s full name isn’t ‘Mortimer’?”

Jerry:Wait it’s not? always thought it was?”

(And while Jerry and Beth are talking Summer is sitting on the couch flipping through channels until she hits......)

Summer:Uh Mom Dad.........Morty and Grandpa Rick are on My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic”

Jerry/Beth:WHAT??”

Jerry:Honey that is impossible(sees Morty and Rick talking with the Mane 6,Cadence and Shining Armor)holy crap they are on MLP-and it looks like they found Twilight,Pinkie Pie,Applejack,Fluttershy,Rarity and Rainbow Dash, that’s smart(Beth and Summer look at Jerry in a kind of ‘really,you watch this kid’s show’ look)hey it’s a good show that me and Morty like to watch”

Summer:Dad-a grown man watching a show about cartoon ponies with his son is creepy”

Beth:Summer-rewind the episode and see why they’re on My Little Pony(as they rewind a voice says ‘previously on My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic’ and Rick and Morty say their portal gun is destroyed,need to get back and the Mane six helps them)so that’s it”

Jerry:(Makes an annoying sound)Why.......why does Rick have to ruin everything I love(Beth and Summer look at them)hey this show is the only thing that makes me happy-except you Beth heh heh(Beth just roles her eyes)”

Summer:What should we do? what would Grandpa Rick do?”

Jerry:Get shit-faced,sleep,wake up,make fun of us just for living then make something in his garage”

Beth:That’s.........actually pretty accurate”

Beth:So let’s do it then-me and Jerry will find something to make into some dimension-portal hopping device while you Summer stay here and keep an eye on Dad and Morty”

Jerry:(Wanting to be the one to watch it)Uuuuuh”

Beth:Shut it Jerry”

(Back in Equestria-Rick and Morty and the Mane 6 walk to the Crystal Mine and are looked by everypony whose read the newspaper)

Rarity:Doh I wish they’d stop staring at us”

Rainbow Dash:Hey at least you don’t have your face on the cover like me and Flutters here(Fluttershy covering her face with her wings)”

Applejack:(Spots something that burns her eyes)Oh no......(it’s Flim and Flam selling the news papers)”

Flim:Step right up-don’t be shy”

Flam:Come and get the hottest selling paper ever to hit the shelves”

Twilight:Let’s go another way”

(But it’s too late the brothers see them and immediately take action)

Flam:Well if it isn’t the Princess herself along with the love-ponies ‘FlutterDash’-”

Flim:Mind giving us another picture?”

Rick:I take you ass-bags are Flim and Flam which by the way retarded names”

Flam:Oh and they brought their monkey companions too”

Rick:I ain’t no fucking monkey you horse-shit con-artists”

Flim:Certainly has a mouth on him dear brother”

Flam:Quite dear brother......”

Twilight:Please let;s just go......”

Morty:Come on Rick these two aren’t worth it”

Rick:(Begrudgingly grrs)You’re lucky(sips from his flask)”

Flam:I wonder what he’s drinking?”

Flim:Whatever it is,must be awful”

Flam:Possibly the same liquid that made the Princess and her companions act like fools”

Flim:Seems like it dear brother”

Flam:Of course more profit for us”

Flim/Flam:Hahahahahaahahhaha”

(Rick sees that their taunting is making the girls even more sad and decides......)

Rick:Fuck it-Morty hold my flask(gives the flask to Morty and walks up to Flim and Flam)”

Flam:Oh look the Monkey is back”

Flim:Care for a banana....Wait what are you......”

(And in seconds-and off panel)Rick is beating the crap out of both brothers causing all kinds of bodily pain to the pony brothers)

Rick:(Over their beaten bodies)ANY OF YOU ASS-HOLES GIVE THESE PONY SHIT FOR WHAT THEY DID LAST NIGHT-THIS IS GONNA BE YOU(lifts up Flim and Flam’s head while the ponies drop the newspaper and run away-Rick then let’s go of them)”

Morty:(Runs up and kicks Flim in the side and Flam in the face)That’s what you get BITCHES-HUWAHHHHH”

Rick:You’re welcome......”

Applejack:Didn’t have to beat them to a pulp you know.........but I’m glad you did”

Rarity:Me too”

Fluttershy:Me three”

Pinkie:Me Four haha”

Rick:(Smiling)Again you’re welcome”

Rainbow Dash:And Morty nice kick”

Morty:Thanks”

Twilight:Alright-let’s help these two Mo-”

Rick:Don’t you fucking dare.......”

Twilight:Teehee-let’s help these 2 people get home”

Rick:That’s better”

(The Mane 6 and Rick and Morty head off to the Crystal Mines to find suitable diamonds for Rick’s machine)

THE END

[titleknown]

Why A Friend Of Mine Likes Fallout Equestria:

Okay, first note, this isn’t technically my article, it’s by a friend, collected and edited from their chats with me. They just wanted me to post it, anonymously, for them because they’re afraid they’ll get shit for supporting Fallout Equestria (The original, not that New Pegas thing or w/e) on this site.

I post it because it’s got some really interesting insights on the nature of darkness, dark fic and optimism that I’d like to share with you, and I hope ya dig it:

Holy fuck I just realized EXACTLY why Fallout Equestria works as a darkening of a lighthearted show and other dark fics tend to not! (This actually applies to more than MLP). I’ve kind of already said it before but I need to say it again in case I failed to say it properly and also because I CAN PONTIFICATE IT NOW.

Fallout Equestria; the original; is a genuinely amazing fanfiction, not just because it introduced me to fallout; but because it also introduced me to the idea of interpreting fallout as something... good?

Not that the fallout was good, but that the general idea of Fallout is that you can DO GOOD. You can do BETTER. Also it did a lot of neat ideas about how Equestria could end up in a situation like Fallout and how magic would affect the war and... that new pegas guy is pissing me off because fuck that guy.

Firstly, I think I'm gonna introduce you to my favorite part of FOE lore: Fluttershy was the one who invented what would become their world's version of the nukes. AND IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE FOR HER CHARACTER...

Because she originally didn't invent it for the purposes of war... well, it was a wartime invention, but it was NEVER EVER meant to be an invention that COULD be used for war.

But that's the thing about inventing things; you don't always end up inventing something for good (see the inventor of the loudspeaker who lived down the street from me true story)

Basically, what she invented was a way for spells to be increased in power to extremes no one unicorn or zebra (the other side of the war) could ever acheive on their own; a Megaspell.

(Well, not directly, but with help; she was the one who implemented it, so...)

She created Megaspells so one could heal EVERYONE on a battlefield. Not long after, someone realized that one could replace the idea of healing with harm

And she, in an act of desparation, at the tail end of the war, gave both sides megaspells.

Assuming that no one would ever use them for harm, not because she was..naive?? but rather because she assumed that no one would EVER be suicidal enough to honestly use them for war.

...She was essentially the creator of their universe's version of Mutually Assured Destruction

I don't like stories where it's like 'lol what if something was super dark,' but I do like exploring how placing characters who are fundamentally good can end up doing things that ARE bad, and I do think FoE it shows the best way to have a character setting on like, how to make a good character/happy universe WORK in a darker context;

And on that note, can I engage you in a tangent about the optimism I see in the Fallout series? It’ll be important, I promise.

Ok, so, it's kinda weird cause like, you know, a lot of things in Fallout are intentionally extremely cynical (see Vault 11, Vault Tec, literally everything) but at the same time, it has this.. I guess... WORDS COME TO ME

Either way, even though I know that it's a major mechanic of games in general that one can change things, but what gets me is that Fallout is about... like, you can change things.

Like, that's what makes it so strangely optimistic, and yeah, hell, you CAN be a demonic force, whatever, that's always an option That's what makes the choice to be good worth it, but still.

The fact that in general, no matter what, your quest in Fallout is to make the world a better place than when you came

But like, it's kind of ridiculous for such a cynical on the surface setting to be so... goddamn NICE. Like, in Fallout 1, you go out to get water and end up SAVING THE WORLD FROM THE MASTER

You can do all sorts of amazing shit to improve people's lives in every single game, from the literal amazing savior shit to just giving some random kid who lost his family a home. And that is fucking great I'm sorry I don't care, that's just...

That every time, you make The Wasteland a better place

In Fallout 3, you straight up purify the water for future generations to enjoy and can help Harold realize that he can change the world by turning it into a lush forested area once more

You make the world better.

You fucking get out there, dig in your heels and say 'fuck this' and MAKE THINGS BETTER.

You climb up that tower in the boat city the guards will catch you for, JUST to tell that random guy of no consequence to the story that he shouldn't kill himself even though it doesn't benefit you at all.

You help those crazy ghouls in the REPCONN facility reach their goal of going into space because damnit, they're good people and they're gonna make it, fuck whatever people say, that's what I believe.

You help people because YOU CAN. And you make the world BETTER.

And that's... the most obnoxiously optimistic shit I've ever had the pleasure to play. BECAUSE THIS IS A WORLD YOU CAN MAKE BETTER.

And hell, even that 'War, War never changes' tagline doesn't mean what some people take it to mean. Yeah, war never changes, but you know what else? Human survival is a war, and we're never gonna stop surviving.

Because FUCK the idea that nothing can be changed; even if some concepts can't change, YOU can change what that concept means to you.

And, going back to the main topic, Fluttershy's transformation from a kind pony to being the reason the world ended happened without ever changing her fundamental character or compromising her morals; rather, it was that she never did that may have caused it.

Her unceasing faith that everyone would be willing to work together if the alternative was the end of the world failed her. First she made a healing spell that could be made into a horrible weapon And then, seeing the horrifying weapons possible with her creation... she gave them to both sides, in the hope that they would realize what the right choice was.

That they would be able to see that to continue would destroy them, that they COULD work together.

... They didn't.

She caused the end of the world by believing it could be made better. which is super ironic given my whole 'I love Fallout for letting me make the world a better place' but still.

Part of the reason it went wrong was that because Equestria is such a peaceful land where friendship is the solution to everything, that when faced with a situation where there was no easy answer, no way that the two sides could easily fix the problem, it spiraled.

Equestria never was in a war before then; in fact, in universe, at least for Fallout Equestria, Celestia and Luna were the only ones who knew that word, which had VANISHED from their vocabulary.

When you haven't ever experienced war, you don't know that winning isn't exactly an option.

But I think the basic thing is that instead of postulating a question like 'What if X character was secretly a serial killer lol', the question is 'What exactly would push X character to do something bad without breaking their character?'

And you can absolutely push any sufficiently already well written character to do things that seem to be the antithesis of what they are.

Batman Beyond had Bruce Wayne quit being Batman after he was forced to WAVE a gun at a thief attempting to kill the daughter of one of his friends because he a heart attack; this is a low key example, because he stopped, but that's the rub; finding something that would force a person to do something they didn't believe in.

But the thing? That's not the 'suddenly he pulled out a gun', but rather that it was the last straw. Because that wasn't the first time he compromised one of his morals; he tried to KILL the Joker before in that universe, not because he's a psychopath, but because of what the Joker had done to Robin.

He could rationalize it because he didn't kill the Joker, because it was to protect Robin; but he had weakened on one of his morals. And so the next time it happened, he broke the other moral. Because he'd already compromised it once, it was easier the second time.

And there you have it; Batman pulling a gun on a man and batman trying to kill someone. You've broken both of Batman's biggest codes of morality; and you've done it without making him a different character or truly changed him; just a snowball of effects that lead to breaking those rules.

With FOE, it asks 'how could ponies be forced into a world of war?' and the answer is SLOWLY. Slowly and using the small things. How to turn Fluttershy from the Element of Kindness to the pony who gave the enemy enough bombs to kill the whole planet?... you don't have to change much at all.. Just keep pushing them little by little father from a territory they know.

She never stopped being kind or trusting in others; she was just slowly pushed to realize the scope of their situation... and assumed the best when that wasn't the case.

Hopelessly naive, yes, but not 'lol, she wanted to kill everyone so she gave everyone bombs'

How to turn Pinkie Pie from the happy party pony to , the secret service of the world, a pony who surveils everyone with a big brother motto of 'Pinkie Pie is Always Watching You'? Simple; put her under pressure to do something to SAVE EVERYONE.

She already has uncanny abilities to know things; if she was pushed to protect EVERYPONY? Why wouldn't she do everything in her power to stop war?

She specifically has that Pinkie Sense, the ability to see little things in the future. With the help of their universe's version of Mentats, that power is honed; and of course she would use it to lock bad ponies up before they do something.

She also already in the show has an obsession with secrecy; breaking a promise or spilling a secret is considered taboo to her; it becomes a mater of her being put into those positions where people are counting on her.

IT'S SO INTERESTING especially to see a realistic ways very virtuous characters could end up doing bad things. And, the thing is, even in fallout equestria where naivete and blind trust in the best of others caused the end of the world, friendship and trust still is the solution; it's still the way out.

Which brings it full circle I FIGURED IT OUT AND MAYBE THEN PEOPLE CAN START MAKING GOOD DARK FICS OF ALL THE SHOWS. ANY SHOW ACTUALLY....

Maybe. Or, I could be 100% wrong lol

[xx420pussydestroyerxx]

Dirk kin memories

I was particularly scene shifted when some of this was written, just bare with the weird quirk talk okay.

Dis is all earth C shit bare w/ me. TW: Alcoholism, panic attacks, trigger talk/learning, depression, repressed gender dysphoria, some sex mentions

Rose n Roxy both had trouble w/ drinkin, Roxy more a constant state on tipsy, where as Rose would be sober for a few days binge one nite, sleep it off, repeat. Once they got out of da game they really bonded. Mayb bein opposites really helped. They had a packed going, if one drank so did the other. Cos they wanted the other 2 get better, they would try not drink themself.

There were relapses of course. A couple months in, Roxy had a bad nite n forgot abt da pack till 3 drinks in n just started cry typing till Rose showed up. She felt so bad, but they end up bonding n cookin dinner together, Roxy mixed Rose’s drinkz. One inspired by Dave n Karkat’s budding romance dat waz bright red. Dis led 2 a Classic Kat Rant™ abt not bullying him 4 his blood colour, n then joke abt Kan, which just ended in Kar banned himself. Da 2nd drink waz mixed with OJ n delicated 2 me. Da last waz some pinkie-purple 4 drink representing da 2 of them.

Hal got his own body, bulit with the help of Equ, whom I got to know better because of. For some reason he’d never seen MLP:FIM nor Troll MLP:FIM, but by the time of we started living together, dat shit was looping 24/7. I don’t think we always lived together, but we defs did r a while @ some point.

Okay so this is an add-on. We dated. Some good old fashion boyfriends. Shared love for robots and horses n taste in kinks. I think Equ had always crave a kind of relationship that didn’t reflect the quadrants so he didn’t stress too hard abt our relationship. Like it’s was pretty close to flush. But more caring in a way human romance and pale is. But also, we were both pretty competitive so it had elements of pitch. All and all it worked well for us. I know it.

I'm sure I slept with Eridan @ some point

I also ended up spending alot of time around Nep, just she followed her meowrail around alot. She was chill. I ended up making a pony fursona w/ her. Which is how I end up bonding with Jade too. She was Hella chill n dated davepeta who was like Hella awesome, an honorary Strider indeed.

We - Nep, Equ, Jade and myself, were a great squad. We spent alot of time together. Jade n nepeta loved hunting together. Me n Equ loved buliding together. We all loved work on fursonas together. I deffs tried my hands at making fursuits as already had my skills from making puppets. Very similar skills. Dave did in fact join in on the fursona making a few times. But not often.

June came out aftr da game, lik da game happed so she accidentally repressed all her gender shit. So post game she waz lik so fucking depressed 4 a while. Like everypony was, but June doublely so. Hangin w/ June was cool n her taste in movies was as shit as her brothers.

I didn’t do well having more than like 3 other people in a room @ a time. I couldn’t talk if it wasnt 4 gift of gab, even then, it felt a unatural 4 me, so most of da time I tended to stick to signing or texting. #SemiMuteGang.

Me n Dave were plenty close too. I managed 2 show him Alpha!Dave’s movies, he ended up making his own, w/ a home movie style spin, n way more trolls. I always hid my puppet shit when he came over because we all (himself included) realised that shit waz a trigger. Jade learnt the lesson of don’t TP 2 mai house w/o warnin when she zapped in w/ Dave straight into my puppet pile I had set up 4 repair day. Jade did not 4give herself 4 da panic attack she caused Dave, but some lesson must be learnt da hard way.

You would think @ some point I would have stopped opening emails addressed from Rox n Sol, but no matter how many different ways they Rick rolled me, I continued to open em.

I’m sure Sol, Rox, Equ and I all worked on tech projects together. I’m sure us four would have been the key people for setting up Earth C’s internet initially. Which I’m sure was fucking frustrating beyond all belief.

Also given I keep hearing him, let’s talk Ult!Dirk n timelines. Just we weren’t alpha time line doesn’t make out happy ending less important. I took the promise I made to grow as a person to heart and I motherfucking healed and was able to have a boyfriend I didn’t coerce (Jake realised he was aro n everyone was better off for it) I don’t remember how, but we got everyone back. Dancestors, the dead beta trolls. Anyone who wanted a chance on earth C got it. Sometimes there was more than one version of a person running around. There was a Sollux that lived on earth C, but I met one that lived in space with Aradia. Ult!Dirk sure as fuck visited my time line. But I am one of the very few version of me that didn't give a shit abt what he had to say.

There was a Caliborn on my Earth C. He wasn't my Original Caliborn. He was one of the few that didn't end up be Lord English. The power of friendship made him a slightly better person. Which doom his time line so he absconded, he felt kinda bad abt dooming his time line which is why he left. He said he picked ours cos we were much like his timeline, memory n personality wise. I mean, he was still pretty bad sometimes, but we literally had eternity to all become better people. I was disappointed when he realised he was ace cos I was looking forward to working with more alien dick.

[ask-crimson-cardinal]

Equestria isn’t what it seems. Ask anything. And you will get the entire truth. No questions asked!!

To read a bit more of my backstory, keep reading. 

Hoofington is a seemingly pleasant little town. Located on a pristine beach, just a little ways north from the shining star of Los Pegasus. On the outside, a sweet and simple villa for scholars and aspiring writers, and escapees from the hecticness of the outside world. However, its isolation did not spare it from the influences of the Equestrian aristocracy, albeit that seemed harmless enough, if not more secure. Of course, the reality was much, much darker.

Equestria was a rickety house of cards that managed to rebuild itself pretty quickly when knocked over, but it was a house of flimsy cards, no less. A world of chaos almost completely governed by four goddesses and their families, not to mention the various other atrocities that controlled the world beyond, in addition to the very elusive racial divide between the the four equestrian races and the two other sovereign species, gryphons and dragons. What a mess. But who was to acknowledge it? Meet Crimson Cardinal. A skinny, tall red pegasus with a long and flowing purple mane and tail, a journalist of ill-temperament and an extreme lover of conspiracy, cider, and revolution. A proletariat of cynicism and pride with an extreme hatred for dark magic, corruption and aristocracy. And finally, not much a flyer, but a strong adherent of pegasus pride and a shameless destroyer of alicorn supremacy. Though seemingly sour, Crimson greatly enjoyed his little town and the ponies who inhabit it. His full-time job (journalism being more of a freelance job and anti-fascism being more of a hobby) was a bartender at everyone’s favorite salon downtown, “The Bubbly Mare,” owned by an equally gleeful little stallion, Bubbling Cider. Crimson―a lover of conspiracy and writing is also a great, great lover of alcohol, almost more than pen and paper. In truth, his best rhetoric was born from the bottle. But the townsfolk flocked to his side drunk or sober. The political views of Hoofington were slightly varied, but there was one thing in common―The town was mostly Earth ponies and Pegasi. Farms on the borders of town were hard workin’ folk who prided themselves in tending the soil with their own hooves, criticizing the unicorns for laziness. The pegasi, whose job was to beat clouds into submission and maintain the weather likewise berated the unicorns for using their powers to whip up a storm or chaos anytime they pleased. On the flip side―those small-town earth ponies and pegasi were shunned by the elitist unicorns of the big city, and it was remarkably difficult for a non unicorn to have a profession other than a farmer or cloud-kicker. And it wasn’t just Hoofington that held this belief. This distrust of magic wasn’t seen by those who visited the shining capitals and paragons of Equestria. Canterlot, Ponyville, the Crystal Empire and other big cities that portrayed the unity and magic that the country prided itself on and preached had shiny, posterless walls. But elsewhere, every alleyway in almost every small town, hidden from dignitaries and diplomats, was marked with cynical graffiti alongside the tyrannical Celestia’s infamous “Obey” posters. Now, Crimson himself wasn’t a hater of unicorns per se, or at least that’s what he contended. His roommate and ‘special friend,’ Regal Pen, was one and a rather magically inclined one at that. But did he appeal to the collective distrust of magic in the town? Oh yes he did. …

The day was searing hot, the sun was beating down on the coast and the streets were fairly empty. The dark alleyways, however, were flooding with quietly chattering ponies, but they weren’t there for the shade. They crowded around a soapbox, placed in front of a fresh, untouched, massive propaganda poster, Celestia’s image glaring down at the crowd in ominous shades of dark blue, tan and red, below the stark blue OBEY. There was a hanging uneasiness and tension within the crowd, starting at the poster which they had been specifically instructed not to brutally desecrate by no other than Crimson himself. However, they also knew that the crafty pegasus would not leave it untouched for long. The dark red pony in question stepped over to the soapbox, sitting on his haunches with his chest puffed out. His eyes were dark and sunken as ever, but there was a glimmer of pride and deviance within them too. He opened a prepared sheet of paper and cleared his throat, grasping the ecstatic attention of his listeners. “I would like to start off by thanking everypony for attending this meeting, especially under such short notice, but I declare this a matter of emergency. As you may have noticed, military presence has increased within our borders in the past few months, which is obviously a reason for concern―But it wouldn’t be so problematic if it wasn’t for the plague that they bring with them―Nationalism!!” Crimson gave a quick gesture to the poster behind him, riling murmurs and cries of affirmation from the crowd. “What you see here is the tyranny of the equestrian aristocracy! To many, it is no more than a frail piece of paper. But we, as the enlightened and intelligent ponies we are, know that it is so much more. My moral is that the pen is mightier than the sword, and this extends to a picture that speaks a thousand words. Be it a thousand and one words of celestial corruption and militant authority!” Crimson violently stomped his hoof against the podium, initiating more whinnies and shouts. He waited patiently for the crowd to cease, preparing for an obligatory remark. “Now, my animosity towards Celestia does not necessarily extend to the other princesses, her devout subjects, nor the blindly following, and I obviously harbor no contempt towards those who are simply unaware. However, I can say that the first three are the willing pawns of Celestia’s every bidding! However, I would be remiss if I did not clarify that I revere Princess Luna, and I do not believe she is a pawn nor an ecstatic aide to her sister’s reign. She only does not resist because she is trapped in the guilt that her sister has has bestowed upon her. I also don’t deny Twilight Sparkle as a heroine, a luminary and the paragon of unity and friendship. And Cadence…well, I don’t believe I need to state my opinion on that airheaded sparkling celebrity…On the other hoof, the honorary ‘Princesses’ Twilight and Cadence, and their extended aristocratic families combined represent all that is reprehensible with Celestia’s reign, including her sloth, her gluttony and her incompetence! They are the perfect plastic pawns in Celestia’s games. They are shining public icons, used to preach the alleged solidarity and morality of Equestria! What’s worse, the great and powerful Celestia sends them to solve her problems! What deity would allow the gods of chaos, the dreaded changelings, and abominations from Tartarus itself to wreak havoc on our country, and send her neurotic, monumentally less powerful slave to fix her own faults? And what if these were manifestations of her own magic, as a means of oppression?” The crowd was riled up, shouting and waving their hooves aggressively. And there was still one last note. Crimson took a breath. “In conclusion, I have a little treat for all of you. I’ve instructed you not to desecrate this lovely, lovely poster, but I’m sure you all knew that I would never leave such a thing standing proudly on the walls of our town for very long.” Crimson turned around and tore the poster clean off the wall and held it up. The crowd was practically snapping at it, as if Crimson was holding a slab of meat over a pit of manticores. He hushed the crowd and puffed his chest out. “DISOBEY.” He threw it into the mud. Every pony in the crowd went at it like a feral animal, grabbing each corner and ripping it at the seams, stomping on Celestia’s ominous muzzle into the disgusting brown mud, saturating it and making the frail poster just that much easier to tear apart. Crimson’s usually cold maw curled into a smirk. He shouted with an undertone of malcontented laughter―DISOBEY!! CRUSH IT!! DESTROY IT!! The desecration persisted for several minutes. Crimson caught his breath and stepped off the stand, looking back at the very happy crowd with a sense of pride. The horde eventually dispersed with adrenaline to fuel a day of proletariat’s labor. The poster laid in the mud in literal shreds, but left just barely recognizable to proudly display the desecration of Celestia’s image. Crimson’s younger sister, Emerald Paint was waiting at the end of the alleyway. A bouncy green pegasus who didn’t quite understand Crimson’s near-obsessive immersion in political discord. She was a painter instead of a writer―A painter who secretly wished to paint the revolution with strokes of blood instead of the written word. “Shit, when did you become so inspirational?” “Shut the hell up. It took me two fucking hours to write.” Crimson opened his satchel and grabbed a flask, taking a quick swill of the sweet nectar that fueled his anger and creativity. “Does it look like I give a shit? Anyways, it’s insane how you made destroying that poster seem so important. I mean, it looked like fun…” “Symbolism. One of the greatest literary strategies. It’s kind of like burning an effigy or some books, although it doesn’t quite have the same effect as tearing the thing itself to shreds and leaving it to rot in the mud.” “The fuck you talking about? Why wouldn’t you just destroy the real thing?” Crimson shot a sarcastic glance at his internally violent sister. “I don’t think that’s a very…realistic…solution, Emerald. Besides, I’d much rather have Celestia rot in Tartarus for eternity next to the monsters she created.” “Do you really think this is gonna end peacefully?” Emerald cocked her head. Crimson sighed and averted his eyes. “Well, not exactly…Regardless of how it ends, Celestia and her pawns can’t condemn us for rebelling when she has been slaughtering, imprisoning, and banishing for centuries, if not millennia?” Emerald shrugged. “I don’t know, I don’t feel like it’s worth it. Talking doesn’t get anything done, plus you can’t just beat Celestia!” Crimson huffed and narrowed his eyes, taking another aggressive swill of vodka. “How could you say that?! Haven’t you ever heard the saying ‘The pen is mightier than the sword?” “I don’t fucking know. I’m going home, going to work to make MONEY, unlike you.” Emerald said snarkily, flipping her hair and trotted away. “Journalism is a noble and well-paying profession!! And bartending is just to pay the bills!” Crimson growled and flipped his sister off with his wing. He was glad that the rest of the town didn’t share the same ironically bourgeois sentiment. He would show her. … Crimson sat as his desk, continuing on his endeavour to create the perfect combinations of letters that would convince the most stubborn sheep to awaken from their comatose states under the shades of fascism. “That is a great fucking sentence.” Crimson mumbled. Thank Celes- Thank god sheep were too stupid to read and too weak to be of any use to the revolution (He thought with gratuitous disregard of his own hypocrisy). Stamping the last word with his typewriter, Crimson fell back in his seat. The town was on his side, and with the beautiful ink on paper, many others would trot alongside him. But where to go next? Los Pegasus was close, but going into a such a big city with Hoofington’s small population was, well, a really bad idea. Revolutions don’t start overnight. It must be slow, methodical, covert… But it would happen. That was for certain.

[the-ultimate-pie-family]

Left 4 dead ponyville day 27

*They all made to the boat house*

Radio: to any survivors plz pick up this is the military

Bill: hello? Were ready we have wounded hurry

Radio: be there in 5 minutes over and out

River: just leave me....I'm good as dead....

Val: ur not gonna die river just hang on plz

Smoker: *wraps around val dragging him away*

River: *bleeding out but is infected been keep it a secret* hang on *throws knife at the smokers head killing it*

Val: *coughs running to river* thanks

River: no problem..... *vomits blood* fuck....

Hunter: *pounces on love bug*

Hunter 2: *pounces on zoey*

Jockey: *jumps on francis*

Bill: *kills both hunters* save francis

Love bug: ahh *smacks jockey with a crowbar killing it*

Francis: nice hit

Midnight: tank!!!!!

Ellis: boomer!!!!

Couch: holy shit *gets thrown by tank*

Boomer: *vomits on ariel blood nightmare comet and rose marry*

Blood: somepony kill that fat fuck!!! Ahh it smells!!!!!

Ellis: *chases boomer* get back here

Witch: *growls*

Ellis: ahhh it's a bitch

*Ellis startled the witch*

Witch: *chases ellis*

Ellis: fuck me!!!!!

Witch: *gets ellis down attacking him*

Draws: hang on!!! *throws a bile jar on the witch*

Witch: *stop attacking ellis going after draws* ahhh

Draws: ahahahah u can't get u bitch

Tank: *throws draws at the witch*

Draws: *gets down by the witch* fuck u tank!!!!

Couch: kill that big fuck!!!!

Bill: *gets ellis up* u ok

Ellis: felt better

Freddy: *kills witch getting draws up* how u feel?

Draws: like shit but good

*The boat has arrived*

Nightmare: ponies boat is here

Scarlet: hurry *gets the kids on the boat* don't look back kids ok keep moving

Spitter: *spits acid at scarlet getting her down*

Party: scarlet!!!!

Scarlet: get on the boat now

Nick: I got her party get on hurry *gets scarlet up helping her on the boat*

Tank: *roars*

Bill: move move

Charger: *charges into val and river attacking river*

River: this thing is pounding me into the ground

*Ariel midnight draws and freddy gets on boat*

Zoey: *kills charger* u ok river?

River: yeah.......

Nightmare bill francis nightmare comet and rose marry gets on boat*

Blood: *gets river up* come on

*Val Zoey Ellis couch love bug johnny*

Ariel: everypony on?

River: blood leave me it's too late for me *herself turning*

Blood: no were almost there

River: blood I been bitten....

Blood: wat?

River: I'm sorry tell the other I sacrifice myself.... *pushes blood on the dock*

Tank: *roars*

River: I'm coming for u u muscle fuck!!!!! *runs after the tank crying*

Blood: river no!!!!

Nick: *grabs blood getting him on the boat*

Bill: go go go

*The boat took off*

In memory of river

Tags for val @robin-the-special-bean ariel @thelittlemermaidfan1989 Johnny @johnny549 love bug @lovebug2523 nightmare comet @ask-nightmare-and-others nightmare, rose marry, scarlet @spicybananacat or @your-winged-nightmare river @riverdragonpony draws @ella-draws-lewds