#i fucking hate myself. i bet its my bpd's fault but i dont even know.
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Listening to someone be happy without you with someone that you've been kinda told is awful and terrible is really confusing. I've tried to hold my own doubt for just like being a decent person's sake but. Am I worse? I know I'm not enough but did I just imagine that I was worth it? Am I useless? You always act like you hate her. You always act like she's terrible. Are you happier with her than me? I know you love her more than me that's just common sense. Why does that still hurt?
#ranpo look away#ranpo dont look#i reaaaally hope those tags dont accidentlaly get the reccomebded somewhere now that i think about it#theres a decent chance im insane and imagining things or its the same exact thing that happened with me where i was masking and that was why#but also. im still worried. and it wasnt ambiguous.#i hate this i should be happy i should be happy i should be happy#and yet im feeling jealous and upset and nervous#i fucking hate myself. i bet its my bpd's fault but i dont even know.#at least doggos are adorable. jackly is more fine with me if i ignore her and am slow#im so hungry but id rather throw up than ear#i hope i throw up
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