#i fuckign answered this like im in school man but i guess thats just how i talk

[tempestuous-cosplay]

I am having some big fucking feelings so i’ll be cringe and blog about it

So. ah. I had a breakdown in the shower today bc it all hit at once that I was neglected as FUCK. like. holy shit i had an EATING DISORDER and NO ONE FUCKIGN NOTICED??? I was constantly going to school without a lunch because “You need to learn how to take care of yourself!!!!” My friends all thought I was So Forgetful because I was always “forgetting my lunch at home” because thats less embarassing than “I can’t make my own lunch”. I always thought “I bet being an adult is a lot of work, i don;t want to be a bother.” NO BITCH, THATS THEIR FUCKING JOB

YEA IT IS A  LOT OF WORK!!! AND PART OF THAT WORK IS MAKING SURE YOUR KID IS EATING ENOUGH!!! MAKING SURE THEY ARE SEEN AND LISTENED TOO!!! IM ABOUT TO BE A FATHER AND THEIR ACTIONS MAKE LESS AND LESS SINCE

WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT?? WHY WAS I STRUGGLING AND SUFFERING FOR SO LONG WHEN IM FINDING THE ANSWERS SO EASY!!!

DON’T HAVE FUCKING KIDS IF YOU ARENT READY FOR THEM TO NEED YOU FOR EVERYTHING FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE!!!! YU ARE CHOOSING TO MAKE ANOTHER PERSON WHO HAS NO SAY IN THE MATTER!!!!!! GET YOUR SHIT HANDLED!!! 

Y’ALL FUCKING LET ME WALK AROUND WITH FUCKING MONO!!!! I TOLD YOU I WAS ABUSED AND THEN WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT!!!! I HAD A BROKEN ANKLE FOR MONTHS!!! I WAS SO FUCKING DEPRESSED FOR SO LONG AND JUST THINKING “OH THIS IS THE WAY IT IS I GUESS”

fuck man this is going full stream of consciousness. I struggled through COVID, starving the whole time bc my dad could be assed to cook anything. his GIRLFRIEND (my mom died just a fucking year ago, what the actual FUCK my guy) cooked me pancakes (the only meal i specifically requested bc i needed some comfort food)

My parents would always tell this story like it was SO FUCKING FUNNY that every time my mom would leave my sister and I with my dad for the day, she would always come back to us hungry, soiled, and distressed.LIKE MA’AM, THAT IS FULL ON STRAIGHT UP NEGLECT WHAT THE FUCK???

When I was, like, 11 I think, I found an empty condom wrapper in my room and my parents just SHRUGGED THAT OFF!!! WHAT WAS AN EMPTY CONDOM WRAPPPER DOING IN MY FUCKING BEDROOM WITH BUNKBEDS AND GIANT PINK UNICORNS?? WHY DID THAT NOT WORRY YOU MORE??? IT SURE FUCKING WORRIED ME!!!! 

[qu-ryy]

for that "100 good questions to ask your friends at 4:02 am when you can’t sleep" post: 57, 80 and 92

57. Do you thinks humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing?

80. Is your music organized by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time?

92. Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn?

I wrote a fucking lot for this so my answers are under the cut:

57. Do you think humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video, games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing?

I’d say that yeah, humans are obsessed with escapism. I feel like most of the time that’s where interests come from and that’s why we do fun things. I wouldn’t necessarily always label it as escapism per se, but for the sake of the question i’d say yes. I think you’ll always have something in life that you won’t enjoy or that you want to change, and having something that you can come back to and know that it’ll make you feel better is very common. For me personally, i wouldn’t say i necessarily seek an escape every time i get a new interest, but it kind of ends up that way. I remember before i got into the dsmp i didn’t have like an interest (regarding media, like as an a youtuber or a tv show) that i was focusing my attention on and it just felt so weird like i didn’t have anything to do and i felt like dissatisfied, even though i had other hobbies. And then that area was filled with the dsmp and related stuff, and idk it just feels nice to always have like something there when you do need an escape, especially now. I don’t think it’s inherently a bad thing, just depends on how you let it affect your life. But for me, i’m able to talk to new people (heyy gray) and get closer with other people because of this form of escapism, but i get how if you let yourself get too stuck in escaping it can be a bad thing.

80. Is your music organised by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time?

Ooooh, fuck i love this question. I’d say more by sensation, which can sometimes correlate to the mood of the song. Like sometimes i’m in more of a pumped mood that gives a certain sensation (i don’t really know how to describe it but it just makes me feel more energetic and like jittery) and so i’ll listen to music that gives me that feeling, but it doesn’t always mean the songs i’m listening to will reflect that mood, per se. But usually it’s just whatever gives that same like satisfying feeling, it’s like scratching an itch idk it just feels good to listen to. Literally for probably more than a whole year the only thing i would listen to was queen because it gave me that feeling (and i was just super into the band in general), but of course not all the songs give the same vibes. To me, it just matter about the sensation. But also i don’t really organize my music at all, i just make playlists of songs that i’m into at the time.

92. Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn?

Mmmmmm okay, so I’d say i speak Spanish. I’ve been taking Spanish classes my whole life (although in elementary school i would like barely count it as a spanish class, we just played games) and i know a lot of conversational stuff since my whole family speaks spanish. I’m really good at like listening to people speak and knowing what they’re saying, and I’m good at writing in spanish (and i know the grammar rules and stuff). But like speaking in spanish and answering stuff in spanish is harder for me since i have to think fast and stuff. I dream in english, but also people don’t really talk in my dreams. Like i can’t remember a single instance where someone has actually spoken in my dream, it’s like i just kinda know what they’re saying but they’re not actually speaking, i think. There are so many languages i want to learn. I want to learn french because it’s just so beautiful and i’ve already learned a tiny bity, and the accent is pretty easy for me. I also really want to learn chinese (mandarin) because my friend is from china and she speaks mandarin and she already taught me a bunch of cuss words, but it would be so cool to talk to her in mandarin. And i want to learn portuguese because ITS SO FUCKING SIMILAR TO SPANISH. ITS LIKE IM SO CLOSE BUT ITS JUST A LITTLE DIFFERENT and a mutual was explaining a bunch of stuff about it to me which was so helpful. Special mentions: Greek, Latin, Russian, German, American sign language, Italian, Japanese, Korean, and Nahuatl.

[blookmallow]

Dad Simulator Update: i have achieved Unofficial First Date

this’s a long one sorry

amanda was late coming home and wren immediately went into an Anxiety Spiral and hhhhhooooo boy i feel it 

thank FUCK

oh god i hadnt even realized that connection

that wasnt just Anxiety it was “im having flashbacks of losing my husband” panic

she was ok tho and they got past this 

lets fuckin do this 

i m dying,

i forgot what half my answers to these were i dunno if they let you view your profile later but i hope they do :’) 

i mean. yea

why are so many of these about crying :’) 

“if you would ever like to chat about the latest in Victorian fashion, the inevitability of our own demise, or black cats, please send me a letter!” god hes so good

im.........in love

this is from mat’s profile, also cute ??

brian’s is all. grilling and fishing and frequent one-word answers :’ ) 

i fuckign love robert too 

hot

bless these gay dads

shit i just realized this man literally has a son named “christian christiansen” why are you doing this to your children

he sounds like he’s... over emphasizing MY FAMILY IS /GREAT/ WE HAVE /NO PROBLEMS/ EVERYTHING’S /FINE/ a lot :’ ) 

SHIT FUCK IT’S HAPPENING 

i want to draw so many of these scenes....... wren just cowering behind a pile of pillows staring at the screen turning bright red waiting for him to answer 

hes sO FUCKIGN CUTE

sounds romantic as fuck lets do this 

[slams fist down on the table] WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY DAUGHTER

thanks :’| 

i love it 

:’) 

butterflies,

i went to look at the butterflies and he did hearts at me and im dying 

this is actually true!!!!! i learned about this in a british novels class i took last year 

i cANT FUCKGI NG BREATHE

he put so much effort into this!!!!!!  hes so sweet,

my heart,

he does mention binders!! and this is....such a sweet narrative, his victorian goth thing isnt just gimmicky, it’s like. he seems really excited to tell you about the victorian history facts he knows/has put a ton of research and work into his house and his clothes/etc it seems very likely that he’s got a special interest in victorian history/fashion/etc and i think... dressing the way he does, presenting himself the way he does, factors into his transitioning, he’s taking steps to become his ideal self no matter what anyone else thinks and? honestly? im so fuckign proud of him for being this self confident. it probably took him years to reach this point

wheEZEs

hes.......so cute,,

he cares about your passions too!!! hes so happy to share this part of his life with you and wants to know whats important to you to im love him so much...

smooth

i cant believe this my two guesses on how you meet damien were “idk probably like, a library or a garden somewhere” and he takes you to BOTH

i did not expect the hot topic outburst tho :’) 

im great at flowers 

im NOT GREAT AT FLOWERS :’) it seemed to amuse him though 

i told him i like snapdragons and wtf............cute.......

NICE GOING 

i literally couldnt figure out how to get even ONE piece in place until i had like 2 seconds left im so bad at things i M SORRY 

dONT DO ANGRY SHADOWS AT ME IM SORRY IM SORRY 

he seemed to let it go pretty easily tho :( 

oh my GO D

I CANNOT BELIEVE THESE DISASTER CHILDREN

i love damien 

yea 

aaWWWW

WAIT YOU DIDNT TELL ME IT WAS A wait whats. ojousama. fang? am i getting Amontillado Points what the fuck are these bars for 

WHATEVER I GOT AN A IN....GOTH DATING, I GUESS

wait but A was a bad thing in the gargoyle incident is it. a good thing now, or 

I DONT KNOW WHAT ANY OF THESE SCORES MEAN BUT I THINK I DID OK :’) 

also do....any of us have. jobs or anything i sure have a lot of free time when my daughter’s at school

like, hugo’s a teacher, mat’s a barista, joseph’s a youth leader (which... im not sure if thats actually a paid position but shrugs, it could be). i dont seem to have a job :’) 

i mean work is boring so if we’re just ignoring it bc its irrelevant to the plot i can roll with that but im just Wondering

[chickenfetus]

i was tagged by @softshouyous​ (my mum saw me trying 2 copy nd paste ur post fck i had a heart attack kill m, she proceeded to tell not to make friends online LMAO) 

how tall are you? - 5′0 // 154 cm what color and style is your hair? - black,, browish red tjat r like in streaks (making it look like its dyed even though its noT) when its in the sun and its like?? crazy idk man but ik its not straight what color are your eyes?- fucking black do you wear glasses or contacts? - glasses!!! do you wear braces? - yeahhhh its been 3 years dammit what is your fashion style? - bad its bad,,,, lol i wear fucking blue (the blue screen kinda blue) shorts with everything?? i need a better sense of fashion lololol when were you born?- december 26 folks u could just call me god how old are you?- 15,, ,, do you have any siblings? - an older brother just like falen what school/college do you go to? - what the fuck shit kinda qni is this what kind of student are you? - um. .... i always do my homework the day its due and study on the test day itself so im pretty great tahnks what are your favorite subjects? - biology and pe (wakes me up i love pE) what are your favorite shows? - theres voltron,, haikyuu!!, hmm m, daiya?? recently got back into that,, bnha at the moment ya. .. ..... what are your favorite movies? - i don’t really watch movies LOL (this is falen’s answer but im keeping it bc relatavke) what are your favorite books? - something that had to with the sun i dont remember the title its been so long since i pciked up a book what are your favorite past times? - staying at home pplaying my dum idol games and watching anime great lfie do you have any regrets?  - not being a better friend what is your dream job? - dying would you like to get married? where? - id like 2 get married 2 lance in space i’m leaving this question out because it was lame and creating my own. do you think chester the rat terrier is the cutest and greatest dog on the planet? - ??? same falen lmao th eufkc is this do you want kids? how many? - i already have so many do you like shopping? - i guess?? i never do it though no friends no time how many countries have you visited? - um. ... hm. .. many?? let me make a list so i can count

malaysia (kota kinabalu)

australia (perth, melbourne though i dont rmb that)

uk (london, manchester, liverpool, york, uhh, edinburgh??)

indonesia (bali!!)

thailand (phuket)

hong kong!! (thats in china i think lol even i dont know)

japan (hokkaido, tokyo i gotta go back i was young when i went)

that shld b all but knowing my memory i may have left one or two out tho i doubt that

what was your scariest dream? - had to do with roaches lmao do you have any enemies? - no real enemies but there was a girl and idk if she still thinks of me as her enemy (god i hope not) but she said i was her love rival (p sure shes dating the girl she thought i liked or smth) go her do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? - i have lance put your phone on shuffle. without skipping post the first 15 songs that play okay but let me finish this song first,, the songs will either b in japanese or english be warned (im gonna put a link to every song bc why not)

1. ok so first we have a cover of happy synthersizer by aho no sakata and some other utaite i dont hear much of anymore 2. fuck the next one is a lil embarrassing but yolo LMAO its unpredictable by 5sos (its old so it probably sounds bad but it sounds okay 2 me but i just might b deaf) 3. ok this is a good one all right its reason living by SCREEN mode (its the bsd opening for the 2nd season heh) 4. goddamn everything’s fuckign japanese a cover of tokyo summer session by the utaities amatsuki and 96neko 5. its in english this time thank god the weigh down by the amity affliction my music taste is all over the damn place 6. you only live once, the yoi ed lmao 7. nightmare by the amity affliction (again) 8. st. patrick by pvris 9. alone by (??) marshmello its not exactly.. 10. death of a strawberry by dance gavin dance i LOVE this one ok 11. heartache on the big screen by 5sos 12. dirty laundry by all time low gooD SHIT i sWEAR 13. oh no by bring me the horizon 14. under the stars by secret eyes i reALLY REALLY LIKE THIS ONE 15. welcome to war by aliens ate my setlist

taggingggg: nobody god this took me forever i loveed it regardless!!! thaknu flne time to SLEEP 

edit: it wouldnt fukcing post ytd so im posting it now and i do not have 2 sleep anymoe bc im awaek and kicking (lena’s beefy ass)

[gyeolsim]

nickatnightwalker hey can you clear something up for me real quick bud

gyeolsim ?

nickatnightwalker yeah not sure if there's a polite way to ask this and actually i already did but that was when i was under the impression that you were just a really shiny weirdo but are you like, quite sure you dont eat people.  like is the mac and cheese a you thing or a species wide thing

gyeolsim you probably won't meet any sirens in your life other than me mind your own business

nickatnightwalker oh my god

nickatnightwalker ok well that's cool i guess

gyeolsim have you considered it might be rude to tell people your species eats them

nickatnightwalker i personally feel like manners are secondary in this case

gyeolsim if someone is planning to it'd be stupid to tell you if someone won't it'd be pointless to tell you

nickatnightwalker listen i know ignorance is bliss but put yourself in my shoes for half a sec

nickatnightwalker would you really rather not know

gyeolsim i think it's kinda taking over you

nickatnightwalker what

gyeolsim worrying over who could hypothetically get you the answer is everyone can even a human with a well sharpened pencil it's who wants to that matters

nickatnightwalker you're killing me here misha not literally it's a turn of phrase

nickatnightwalker anyway whether or not someone wants to get me is a moot point next to the bigger question of who's biologically wired to want to get me

gyeolsim just because some people are doesn't mean that they will no one here is straight up an animal instinct doesn't override intentions

nickatnightwalker you know, you say that but boys will still argue with you i dont expect much more from the ones here

gyeolsim fair but most of my friends here if not all of them

gyeolsim even me we all could kill you some of us are wired to you can't judge a person over that

nickatnightwalker who said im passing judgment?  i wanna know who i need to keep an eye on if theyre having a particularly low-self control day

gyeolsim that's up to us to deal with

nickatnightwalker if you slip up, it's still people like me who are gonna suffer

gyeolsim i don't know what else to do here we're all stuck together

nickatnightwalker hey, i just want a heads up

gyeolsim this is why ethics was in moire's list

nickatnightwalker look, i dont think youre going to eat me, misha mostly because you clearly had your window and didnt

gyeolsim thanks that's nice of you

nickatnightwalker i dont know what you want to hear man im in a brave new world and i wanna know the rules

gyeolsim nothing i'm just telling you i guess i'm trying to help

gyeolsim like i said it hasn't happened. not since i got here as far as i know and i think that's the kind of thing people would hear about you got the whole privacy and security intro right explaining the security hooded figures and shit that's gotta count for something you can't just stay afraid

nickatnightwalker there were metal detectors at my old school and it didn't stop kids from bringing knives

nickatnightwalker im not afraid i just need to know what to look for

gyeolsim what are we supposed to do walk around with a tag don't come near me my mother crashes ships and eats the sailors real welcoming

nickatnightwalker well fuck there goes my ship listen you have the advantage of knowing who is what and  how they work not all of us get born right into that, yeah?

gyeolsim that's where you're wrong lmao

nickatnightwalker what, about my ship?

gyeolsim you think just because i'm not human i magically know how everyone else works i don't know shit fuck you for thinking i know shit why do you think we're fed up with how the school's been handling our education

nickatnightwalker good sentiment but fuck you, at least you were born knowing magic exists

gyeolsim one type

nickatnightwalker nah i dont buy it your parents didnt talk to you ?

gyeolsim i don't have to tell you my life story

nickatnightwalker give it a rest, im not interested in your secrets misha im telling you i went my whole life thinking that at /least/ i was safe from people literally consuming me as a main source of sustenance and im trying to catch up on 17 years of being in the dark

gyeolsim oh yeah good luck with that the ride never stops i just found out my species eats yours and my best friend's eats mine good luck

nickatnightwalker oh well that's some balls

nickatnightwalker maybe keep an eye on her folks when she talks you to meet em *takes

gyeolsim well yeah but that's not her whatever they gave us we choose what to do with it

nickatnightwalker yeah i mean i get that, i know that but not everybody's like good so i want to know who COULD

gyeolsim again it's probably better to keep an eye on who would

nickatnightwalker to know who would i have to know who could first

gyeolsim i mean sure but like i said a human with a sharp pencil is basically the same

nickatnightwalker ok this is what i feel like youre not getting a human with a sharp pencil isn't darwin's theory of evolution'd into wanting to eat me a human with a sharp pencil is just a fuckign dick

gyeolsim right okay

gyeolsim i get it

nickatnightwalker im not worried about the people i know im worried about all the people i dont

gyeolsim what if you miss out though

nickatnightwalker im talking to you, arent i?

gyeolsim well yeah you didn't know about me before though hell i didn't know about me

nickatnightwalker oh well shit surprise

nickatnightwalker somewhere a therapist hears a cash register ching

gyeolsim back at ya

nickatnightwalker ok thats fair

nickatnightwalker but hey i dont know if someone how you managed to disconnect yourself entirely from the gossip loop but word on the street is im in pretty good with mankind's most pompous predator

gyeolsim haha what

nickatnightwalker im friends with a vampire

gyeolsim good for you

nickatnightwalker two actually karims a fuckin blast point is they eat humans

nickatnightwalker you with me so far

gyeolsim yeah i get it your sister already called me dumb get new jokes

nickatnightwalker my who oh whatever what im saying is they eat people and it's not even a choice, like baldy mcbowlingballhead over there who seems to just wanna pick up babies like a delicacy they HAVE to and i know that

gyeolsim reagan doesn't mean it

gyeolsim i don't think so anyway

nickatnightwalker i take nothing for granted in this place point is they DONT have a choice but to eat people, so it's not even dickish, just unfortunate and sure, i know about 16 ways to banish damian to the netherworld but we're still friends i just lke being prepared

gyeolsim aight i get it

nickatnightwalker dont take it personally but i already googled how to keep a siren from eating you

gyeolsim don't take it personally but whatever you found it 's probably bullshit

nickatnightwalker yeah, i know i can probably get you to fuck off just by flirting with you so im not actually that worried

gyeolsim and i can get you to fuck off by punching you in the face so

nickatnightwalker that would work and id still prefer that to death by integration into fancy mac n cheese

gyeolsim oh gross

nickatnightwalker yeah, you see?  punch is definitely preferable

gyeolsim how about we're just civil to each other

nickatnightwalker damn, i thought we were at least at pleasant acquaintance

gyeolsim don't push it and hey

nickatnightwalker sup

gyeolsim it's gonna be alright

nickatnightwalker that's really what im trying to make sure of

gyeolsim me too that's what i'm fighting for it can only go uphill from here

nickatnightwalker honestly im feeling pretty optimistic? since apparently ive met and interacted with a pretty decent handful of people who are more used to seeing me on a supermarket shelf than talking and yet not a single one of you has tried to kill me yet except that kindergartener

gyeolsim haha yeah monsters & me is a rough intro to the school

nickatnightwalker children are monsters no matter what species they are it's like open season in there, everyone vs everyone else constantly

gyeolsim simpler times

nickatnightwalker not necessarily better i feel

gyeolsim nah but i got used to it hopefully you won't have to

nickatnightwalker why wouldnt i have to? im here, arent i?

gyeolsim if the dean gets wollstonecraft's shit together at least in the school you won't something tells me you won't want to go hang out with the supernatural community once you're outta here

nickatnightwalker i might not have much of a choice

nickatnightwalker it seems like a good amount of the supernatural community hangs out with humans anyway

gyeolsim yeah

gyeolsim but you wouldn't have known that if you hadn't come here

nickatnightwalker ignorance isnt bliss ignorance is getting mugged or murdered or eaten or worse besides, the people here are growing on me  anyway

gyeolsim dangerous you might make a friend

nickatnightwalker that's horrifying and disgusting please im not that kind of guy

gyeolsim duly noted

nickatnightwalker thank you for respecting my aplatonic boundaries

gyeolsim uh no problem dude

nickatnightwalker that was a joke

gyeolsim not sure what aplatonic means

nickatnightwalker you know how sponges reproduce asexually like, more sponges with no sex it's like that except with friends, but only assholes and dumbasses say that so

gyeolsim i don't like where this is going oh

nickatnightwalker where did you think  it was going

gyeolsim somewhere that ends with my fist in your face

nickatnightwalker you cant reach me from wherever you are nice try

gyeolsim i know where you live

nickatnightwalker oh fuck fuck that's true whatever you cant get through my 800 locks good LUCK

gyeolsim i could knock

nickatnightwalker so what?  there's a peephole

nickatnightwalker and you already told me youre coming to punch me

gyeolsim i'm not really it was a warning

nickatnightwalker have i really done anything to deserve getting punched yet so far this year

gyeolsim you talk a lot

nickatnightwalker you got me there im entertaining though, or you WOULD have actually punched me

gyeolsim i can't reach you wherever you are you don't actually know

nickatnightwalker you would have sometime in the past week im sure

gyeolsim i did refuse to talk to you but you're insistent

nickatnightwalker no im not i never made you talk

gyeolsims sent

nickatnightwalker welp there we go i guess

gyeolsim haha just kidding