#i fuckign answered this like im in school man but i guess thats just how i talk

[qu-ryy]

for that "100 good questions to ask your friends at 4:02 am when you can’t sleep" post: 57, 80 and 92

57. Do you thinks humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing?

80. Is your music organized by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time?

92. Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn?

I wrote a fucking lot for this so my answers are under the cut:

57. Do you think humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video, games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing?

I’d say that yeah, humans are obsessed with escapism. I feel like most of the time that’s where interests come from and that’s why we do fun things. I wouldn’t necessarily always label it as escapism per se, but for the sake of the question i’d say yes. I think you’ll always have something in life that you won’t enjoy or that you want to change, and having something that you can come back to and know that it’ll make you feel better is very common. For me personally, i wouldn’t say i necessarily seek an escape every time i get a new interest, but it kind of ends up that way. I remember before i got into the dsmp i didn’t have like an interest (regarding media, like as an a youtuber or a tv show) that i was focusing my attention on and it just felt so weird like i didn’t have anything to do and i felt like dissatisfied, even though i had other hobbies. And then that area was filled with the dsmp and related stuff, and idk it just feels nice to always have like something there when you do need an escape, especially now. I don’t think it’s inherently a bad thing, just depends on how you let it affect your life. But for me, i’m able to talk to new people (heyy gray) and get closer with other people because of this form of escapism, but i get how if you let yourself get too stuck in escaping it can be a bad thing.

80. Is your music organised by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time?

Ooooh, fuck i love this question. I’d say more by sensation, which can sometimes correlate to the mood of the song. Like sometimes i’m in more of a pumped mood that gives a certain sensation (i don’t really know how to describe it but it just makes me feel more energetic and like jittery) and so i’ll listen to music that gives me that feeling, but it doesn’t always mean the songs i’m listening to will reflect that mood, per se. But usually it’s just whatever gives that same like satisfying feeling, it’s like scratching an itch idk it just feels good to listen to. Literally for probably more than a whole year the only thing i would listen to was queen because it gave me that feeling (and i was just super into the band in general), but of course not all the songs give the same vibes. To me, it just matter about the sensation. But also i don’t really organize my music at all, i just make playlists of songs that i’m into at the time.

92. Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn?

Mmmmmm okay, so I’d say i speak Spanish. I’ve been taking Spanish classes my whole life (although in elementary school i would like barely count it as a spanish class, we just played games) and i know a lot of conversational stuff since my whole family speaks spanish. I’m really good at like listening to people speak and knowing what they’re saying, and I’m good at writing in spanish (and i know the grammar rules and stuff). But like speaking in spanish and answering stuff in spanish is harder for me since i have to think fast and stuff. I dream in english, but also people don’t really talk in my dreams. Like i can’t remember a single instance where someone has actually spoken in my dream, it’s like i just kinda know what they’re saying but they’re not actually speaking, i think. There are so many languages i want to learn. I want to learn french because it’s just so beautiful and i’ve already learned a tiny bity, and the accent is pretty easy for me. I also really want to learn chinese (mandarin) because my friend is from china and she speaks mandarin and she already taught me a bunch of cuss words, but it would be so cool to talk to her in mandarin. And i want to learn portuguese because ITS SO FUCKING SIMILAR TO SPANISH. ITS LIKE IM SO CLOSE BUT ITS JUST A LITTLE DIFFERENT and a mutual was explaining a bunch of stuff about it to me which was so helpful. Special mentions: Greek, Latin, Russian, German, American sign language, Italian, Japanese, Korean, and Nahuatl.

[tempestuous-cosplay]

I am having some big fucking feelings so i’ll be cringe and blog about it

So. ah. I had a breakdown in the shower today bc it all hit at once that I was neglected as FUCK. like. holy shit i had an EATING DISORDER and NO ONE FUCKIGN NOTICED??? I was constantly going to school without a lunch because “You need to learn how to take care of yourself!!!!” My friends all thought I was So Forgetful because I was always “forgetting my lunch at home” because thats less embarassing than “I can’t make my own lunch”. I always thought “I bet being an adult is a lot of work, i don;t want to be a bother.” NO BITCH, THATS THEIR FUCKING JOB

YEA IT IS A  LOT OF WORK!!! AND PART OF THAT WORK IS MAKING SURE YOUR KID IS EATING ENOUGH!!! MAKING SURE THEY ARE SEEN AND LISTENED TOO!!! IM ABOUT TO BE A FATHER AND THEIR ACTIONS MAKE LESS AND LESS SINCE

WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT?? WHY WAS I STRUGGLING AND SUFFERING FOR SO LONG WHEN IM FINDING THE ANSWERS SO EASY!!!

DON’T HAVE FUCKING KIDS IF YOU ARENT READY FOR THEM TO NEED YOU FOR EVERYTHING FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE!!!! YU ARE CHOOSING TO MAKE ANOTHER PERSON WHO HAS NO SAY IN THE MATTER!!!!!! GET YOUR SHIT HANDLED!!! 

Y’ALL FUCKING LET ME WALK AROUND WITH FUCKING MONO!!!! I TOLD YOU I WAS ABUSED AND THEN WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT!!!! I HAD A BROKEN ANKLE FOR MONTHS!!! I WAS SO FUCKING DEPRESSED FOR SO LONG AND JUST THINKING “OH THIS IS THE WAY IT IS I GUESS”

fuck man this is going full stream of consciousness. I struggled through COVID, starving the whole time bc my dad could be assed to cook anything. his GIRLFRIEND (my mom died just a fucking year ago, what the actual FUCK my guy) cooked me pancakes (the only meal i specifically requested bc i needed some comfort food)

My parents would always tell this story like it was SO FUCKING FUNNY that every time my mom would leave my sister and I with my dad for the day, she would always come back to us hungry, soiled, and distressed.LIKE MA’AM, THAT IS FULL ON STRAIGHT UP NEGLECT WHAT THE FUCK???

When I was, like, 11 I think, I found an empty condom wrapper in my room and my parents just SHRUGGED THAT OFF!!! WHAT WAS AN EMPTY CONDOM WRAPPPER DOING IN MY FUCKING BEDROOM WITH BUNKBEDS AND GIANT PINK UNICORNS?? WHY DID THAT NOT WORRY YOU MORE??? IT SURE FUCKING WORRIED ME!!!! 

[chickenfetus]

i was tagged by @softshouyous​ (my mum saw me trying 2 copy nd paste ur post fck i had a heart attack kill m, she proceeded to tell not to make friends online LMAO) 

how tall are you? - 5′0 // 154 cm what color and style is your hair? - black,, browish red tjat r like in streaks (making it look like its dyed even though its noT) when its in the sun and its like?? crazy idk man but ik its not straight what color are your eyes?- fucking black do you wear glasses or contacts? - glasses!!! do you wear braces? - yeahhhh its been 3 years dammit what is your fashion style? - bad its bad,,,, lol i wear fucking blue (the blue screen kinda blue) shorts with everything?? i need a better sense of fashion lololol when were you born?- december 26 folks u could just call me god how old are you?- 15,, ,, do you have any siblings? - an older brother just like falen what school/college do you go to? - what the fuck shit kinda qni is this what kind of student are you? - um. .... i always do my homework the day its due and study on the test day itself so im pretty great tahnks what are your favorite subjects? - biology and pe (wakes me up i love pE) what are your favorite shows? - theres voltron,, haikyuu!!, hmm m, daiya?? recently got back into that,, bnha at the moment ya. .. ..... what are your favorite movies? - i don’t really watch movies LOL (this is falen’s answer but im keeping it bc relatavke) what are your favorite books? - something that had to with the sun i dont remember the title its been so long since i pciked up a book what are your favorite past times? - staying at home pplaying my dum idol games and watching anime great lfie do you have any regrets?  - not being a better friend what is your dream job? - dying would you like to get married? where? - id like 2 get married 2 lance in space i’m leaving this question out because it was lame and creating my own. do you think chester the rat terrier is the cutest and greatest dog on the planet? - ??? same falen lmao th eufkc is this do you want kids? how many? - i already have so many do you like shopping? - i guess?? i never do it though no friends no time how many countries have you visited? - um. ... hm. .. many?? let me make a list so i can count

malaysia (kota kinabalu)

australia (perth, melbourne though i dont rmb that)

uk (london, manchester, liverpool, york, uhh, edinburgh??)

indonesia (bali!!)

thailand (phuket)

hong kong!! (thats in china i think lol even i dont know)

japan (hokkaido, tokyo i gotta go back i was young when i went)

that shld b all but knowing my memory i may have left one or two out tho i doubt that

what was your scariest dream? - had to do with roaches lmao do you have any enemies? - no real enemies but there was a girl and idk if she still thinks of me as her enemy (god i hope not) but she said i was her love rival (p sure shes dating the girl she thought i liked or smth) go her do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? - i have lance put your phone on shuffle. without skipping post the first 15 songs that play okay but let me finish this song first,, the songs will either b in japanese or english be warned (im gonna put a link to every song bc why not)

1. ok so first we have a cover of happy synthersizer by aho no sakata and some other utaite i dont hear much of anymore 2. fuck the next one is a lil embarrassing but yolo LMAO its unpredictable by 5sos (its old so it probably sounds bad but it sounds okay 2 me but i just might b deaf) 3. ok this is a good one all right its reason living by SCREEN mode (its the bsd opening for the 2nd season heh) 4. goddamn everything’s fuckign japanese a cover of tokyo summer session by the utaities amatsuki and 96neko 5. its in english this time thank god the weigh down by the amity affliction my music taste is all over the damn place 6. you only live once, the yoi ed lmao 7. nightmare by the amity affliction (again) 8. st. patrick by pvris 9. alone by (??) marshmello its not exactly.. 10. death of a strawberry by dance gavin dance i LOVE this one ok 11. heartache on the big screen by 5sos 12. dirty laundry by all time low gooD SHIT i sWEAR 13. oh no by bring me the horizon 14. under the stars by secret eyes i reALLY REALLY LIKE THIS ONE 15. welcome to war by aliens ate my setlist

taggingggg: nobody god this took me forever i loveed it regardless!!! thaknu flne time to SLEEP 

edit: it wouldnt fukcing post ytd so im posting it now and i do not have 2 sleep anymoe bc im awaek and kicking (lena’s beefy ass)