#i forgot... that the wwiii scare started SO EARLY.....

[they-them-pussy]

shit that happened this year according to my journal entries

JANUARY

- first entry, december 31 2019, near midnight: "Here's to a chaotic year"

- wwiii scare, happens as early as jan 3

- ‎australia wildfires

- ‎watcher debuts

- ‎corona world tour begins

- ‎death note comes back with a one shot (?)

FEBRUARY

- kobe bryant passes

- ‎corona panic, people begin hoarding

- SONIC THE HEDGEHOG MOVIE

- ‎BIRDS OF PREY MOVIE

MARCH

- quarantines begin

- toilet paper shortage

- ‎tom and rita hanks test positive for corona

- ‎an nba player tests positive

- ‎US has 1000 confirmed cases

- ‎italy is on shutdown

- ‎everything in my city shuts down on march 13, friday the 13th. i go home to my province (i never go back, for the rest of the year)

- ‎canadian prime minister's wife tests positive

- ‎plague inc.'s popularity skyrockets

- ‎US stock market crashing

- ‎SPN stops production

- ‎idris elba tests positive

- ‎gun buying in the US increases (?)

- ‎ibuprofen and anti inflammatory drugs found to worsen the virus

- ‎italy's cases surpass china's

- ‎celebrities clowning about cabin fever in their mansions

- ‎trump wants to buy the vaccine exclusively for the US

- ‎earthquake in utah

- ‎USA has up to 35k cases

- ‎trump tells people to drink bleach, one man dies, a woman lands in the icu

- USA cases over 82k cases

- ‎boris johnson tests positive

- suspected that there are more deaths in china than are reported

- ‎USA has over 2400 deaths, 100k cases

- ‎Italy has over 10.7k deaths

APRIL

- antibody treatments are being looked into

- ‎chernobyl has fires around it

- ‎apparently a lot of talk about the quarantines ending on the end of april and i just said that it's gonna for the rest of the year??? OOP -

- ‎bernie drops out of the presidential race

- ‎people in my town realize the government doesn't give a fuck about us. begin communal garden

- ‎a lot of entries about animal crossing

- ‎USA almost at a million cases and 53k deaths

- ‎"It's like watching the fall of the US in realtime. It's like that one song, Survivor Guilt, I think."

- ‎2.9 M cases worldwide

- ‎BARDCORE BARDCORE BARDCORE

MAY

- ‎lockdowns opening up, cases spiking after

- ‎USA passes 100k deaths

- ‎"I'm tired and poor"

- ‎storm hits my town, destroys my ceiling

- i take a ton of pictures of the stars, stick them all over the pages

JUNE

- pride cancelled. only WRATH

- anonymous is back

- ‎BLM protests begin

- ‎terror bill being considered in the Philippines, protests against it begin

- ‎"2021 might be a downhill year" (?)

- ‎north korea looks like it might start a war

- ‎a weird, HUGE fucking bird lands on our roof. stays there for hours. watches me while im playing with my dogs in the backyard

- ‎shawn dawson gets cancelled. jefree star too???

- ‎news of russia placing bounties on US soldiers breaks. trump: 'y'all hear smth???'

- ‎a fascist gets voted in poland

JULY

- Osomatsu-san S3 announcement, fandom rises from the dead

- Hamilton

- ‎Spongebob anime

- ‎Classically Abby ads plague YouTube

- ‎TUA S2

AUGUST

- beirut explosion

- ‎attempts to sabotage the USPS begin. Death Stranding has ascended to prophecy status

- ‎heritageposts

- ‎"2021 feels explosive" (?)

SEPTEMBER

- #answerusyoutube trends on twitter

- ‎seasonal depression starts kicking my ass

- first day of Fall

OCTOBER

- THE HORSE IS IN THE HOSPITAL

- ‎claudia conway snitches on her mother

- ‎horse goes out to see his supporters, endangers security detail

- ‎horse gets out the hospital, but everybody's sus

- ‎osomatsu-san returns

- ‎i lose my yellow highlighter and agonize over this for several entries

- ‎hetalia announced to return

- AOC among us twitch stream

NOVEMBER

- US election

- ‎no results yet

- ‎NEVADA????

- ‎destiel goes canon

- ‎rumor of putin stepping down goes around

- ‎talks of a possibility of sherlock s5

- ‎ted bundy twitter roleplayer????

- ‎a bombing???

- THE HORSE IS OUT THE HOSPITAL

- ‎Biden/Harris wins, people rejoice

- ‎unus annus dies

- ‎supernatural s15x19 is a shitshow

- ‎supernatural s15x20 is a shitshow

- ‎destiel uncanons

- ‎supernatural season 16 begins

- ‎DESTIEL GOES CANON BUT IN SPANISH

- ‎#theysilencedyou / #theysilencedus trends on twitter

- ‎rancid nuts?

- ‎heller jensen ackles / jackles long con jokes skyrocket

- ‎samantha ferris says cw never contacted her to shoot what was supposed to be the heaven roadhouse scene

- ‎hindi dub destiel canon rumor goes around

- ‎italian dub destiel canon fake

- ‎several of the cast and crew reveal they're hellers

- ‎heller obama

- ‎rest of the fandom learns that the holy water in spn is actually lube

[tdotsspot]

2020.....

Wow, it’s been almost TWO years since I've posted anything on here. I’ve thought about it from time to time, but never sat to actually say anything. I just looked at my last two posts....so funny. This is why I'll probably always keep this....just to look back, see where I was, who I was.

But back to 2020 bc HONESTLY this year is the one to go. down. in the mother. fucking. books. 

2019 was literally the best year of my life. It was the year I did the most traveling, the year I made the most money...it was like, perfect until the end. I went to Puerto Rico and St Thomas....Atlanta, Boston of course, MARTHA’S VINEYARD FINALLY and even though I've been there 100 times, this was the absolute best. Of course having Dameo was a plus, getting to show him my childhood summers, but Unc let me use the Mercedes which I legit fell in love with, we met Danny Glover which was crazy, I got the brass ring on my first try lol, and we had a lot of good food. LA, was amazing, I miss it so much....NY.....I feel like I’m missing a city, oh yes, dc! That was a fun drunk night.

Late November for Britt’s bday we all went out and that was the first time I was ever real life drunk around his fam, but it was so much fun. The next week....nana passed. It was sad, weird....I hadn’t lost someone in a really long time, and I was there to see some of her last lucid moments. We definitely got closer over the last two years or so since I visited her a good amount, and it made me more sad than I thought. I’m glad I got to have those moments with her, it was cool to get a grandmother again. Made me miss nanny a lot though...

A few weeks later, we found out I was pregnant! It was planned, we were excited although tbh I was kind of freaking out. A baby??? Like a whole ass human? No more weed, liquor, or runny eggs??? HOW SWAY! I don’t think I was ready yet, and a few weeks after that, RIGHT before Christmas, RIGHT before we were going to tell the family, I had a miscarriage. Goodness, I really wasn’t ready for that, at all. Obviously it’s common, but I never thought I’d have one....I was healthy, in a healthy relationship....happy....how the hell did this happen? Unfortunately we already told our moms at that time, partially to help cheer ang, and I knew my mom would be hype as well. I knew it was early, but I told some close friends as well. The pain I felt from that, I just didn't really expect. It was, really sad....I delayed our trip to Boston twice because I really just couldn’t bring myself to leave the bed and sit on a train for 6 hours. I almost canceled altogether but KNOWING NOW THAT THE FUCKING WORLD WAS GOING TO SHUT DOWN, I'm really glad we still went. It was reassuring to get my hugs from my mom, cry it out with her, and see the fam. Except Kendall was such a douche that visit *rolls eyes*. I did get to go see the friends pop up which LEGIT made my whole holiday. As such a huge fan, it was AMAZING, simply, amazing, and I got to enjoy it with my two older cousins and of course, the Dame. 

So that brings us to the new year of 2020. 2020 the year I think EVERYONE thought was going to be amazing, and maybe it will be. Maybe everything that’s going on albeit sad, overwhelming, insane....is in fact the year we all really needed. The Amazon was on fire, forever and as someone who truly cares about global warming that was super stressful. We almost had WWIII thanks to good old Trump, but boy oh boy....that was just the tip of the iceberg. A few weeks later AGAIN, I call my dr telling them I still haven’t gotten my period, my boobs hurt, and wtf is going on? She tells me to take another pregnancy test, which I thought was a joke because I JUST had a miscarriage weeks before, and yes we had sex, but we were ‘careful’. COME TO FIND OUT, my ass is pregnant again. I was, very confused...a little upset because I was planning on waiting a bit before trying for real again. I mean we just dealt with so much loss between nana and the miscarriage, I hadn’t even fully processed what my body just went through. I remember angrily buying the test because, those shits aren’t cheap.....peeing with the door open with Dame downstairs, (not at ALL romantic like the first time I told him) and looking down like....wait. “WHAT THE FUCK” about 3 times was said, I explained to dame this indeed does say I’m pregnant, but how?? 

30 minutes later, the world finds out Kobe Bryant died. There were a lot of emotions that day for sure. Even though I wasn’t a die hard Kobe fan or anything, for some reason this one really made me sad. Maybe because I was currently listening to a book his personal coach wrote; relentless....which is REALLY fucking good.

A week later, I'm confirmed via bloodwork that I am indeed pregnant and it’s time for take two! I didn't get excited until I passed my first trimester, just in case...but now at almost 26 weeks, I’m really excited to meet her. My babygirl! It’s still wild to know I’m about to be a mom, but I’m really pumped for both of us and I know we’ll make great parents. 

Ah yes, the mid march, covid 19 hits America. I was supposed to go on a three city tour to the west coast which I was very much looking forward to, before the world stopped. In fact, it was that very weekend, right after we had our ultrasound, the first and only visit Dame was allowed to come in, that everything stopped. A week or so later, a mid level of depression kicked in for me, which lasted about a month. I couldn’t believe that after WEEKS of puking and being dead ass tired, I was finally ready to work again, but I was Essentially unemployed. The west coast gig was a cute check, I had multiple events coming up that got canceled....weddings that got postponed, and all I could think about was I’m about to have a kid with no money. I went almost two entire months without making ANY money....luckily unemployment kicked in and I got a couple of grants I applied for because I really don’t know what I would’ve done. My mom of course was in my corner, and Dame would start working from home, but still fully employed so at least we wouldn’t be homeless. I knew there were hundreds of thousands of people in my boat, if not worse but I couldn’t help but be consumed with not making any money, and my 2020 year essentially being wiped out. 

Again, this was supposed to be MY year. Be a parent, make a lot of money, and I felt like I just fell flat on my face, in mud, and was suffocating. 

America’s approach to covid was trash, more and more people died...I was worried about my mom and aunts as they're older and more susceptible. This is the longest I've gone without seeing my mom, but thanks to technology! We literally FaceTime every day. 

I almost forgot! Red literally almost died. He got attacked by a pit that lives up the street and it was one of the scariest things I ever dealt with. We just came back from a cute little drive, it was absolutely beautiful out, and I just remember parking, letting him out for a walk, looking at a dog running but I couldn’t tell if it was on a leash or not. I then realized nope, this bitch is not on a leash, crossing the street, and watching it whip its head at me and red and sprinting across the street to attack him. I was absolutely terrified. My baby red, is literally getting mangled by a fucking pit by the neck. I’m also pregnant and scared the pit is going to attack me, that my stress is going to cause another miscarriage, and that I’m probably going to watch red die in front of my eyes. I completely blacked out on the woman who was sloppily running to get her dog off of him. Had it been a minute more, max, he would’ve been dead. I still picture it sometimes and it legit makes me so sad, but luckily he pulled through after about a week of healing, and a huge bloody abscess that needed to be drained. 

THEN about a month ago now, George Floyd was killed on tape by a cop and it changed the world. Between Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Abery dying and being cooped up for months in the house, major cities went up in flames, literally. It was a revolution that Is still happening which has caused corporate America to shove ‘black lives matter’ down our throats like black people just popped up, shown privileged ass white people who refuse to try and understand, racist fucks that just hate us so much....and the list goes on.

That’s been our year so far! and it about to get shut down again because because aren't taking covid seriously. 

Pregnancy has been really interesting though....not at all like what they show on tv and the movies. I’ve been emotional as hell crying over my body  changing....constipated af to the point where I now celebrate any time I shit, hella uncomfortable....but I know when we see her face it will indeed all be worth it. Doing this back to back though like Dame envisions....I don’t know man lol. We shall see. She's due in about 3.5 months. Check in before then....

Tdot, out.