#i forgot how much i love doing c*ke omg

[depravedangelbaby]

hehe

[blondeblackwidow]

Could you write a fic about the Resistance meeting a Kenobi!reader who used to be Snokes old apprentice, and over time Poe begins to fall for her? I love your writing and if you do choose to write this request, the fluffier the better❤️

M e t a n o i a ( Poe Dameron x Reader )

prompt:  Could you write a fic about the Resistance meeting a Kenobi!reader who used to be Snokes old apprentice, and over time Poe begins to fall for her? I love your writing and if you do choose to write this request, the fluffier the better❤️ +  I’m the anon that sent the Kenobi!reader ask in, I forgot to say that the reader wasn’t Snokes apprentice willingly and she was taken as a child.

a/n; holy fuck i feel like i just poured my soul into this. this was something i played with a while on my own and i can’t get over how proud of it i am. thank you for this request, anon! i would zone out for hours just writing, and that hasn’t happen since like eighth grade. title is a greek word for a journey of self discovery.

song: the archer - taylor swift

t/w: slight mentions of child abduction and manipulation, very minor though.

w/c: 3150 ( omg )

-

D’Qar was loud, and the air was thick as it hit your skin. The sun hidden behind clouds, it was still considerably warmer than the Supremacy. You stepped off the transport, black boots hitting the pavement, the rest of you covered by the oversized brown robe. 

You’d never seen Leia Organa before. But you knew her son, and the minute you saw her eyes, you knew who she was.

You lowered your hood. “General.” You breathed with a smile. She greeted you with a handshake, and the most comforting of smiles. She radiated a motherly energy you had never known, not in this life at least. 

“Welcome, I’m so happy you got here safely, and you took me up on my offer.” 

“It seems our families can never live without each other.” You responded, and Leia gestured you further into the base. 

“Let’s talk in my office, and I’ll see about getting you something with some color.” She guided you amongst crowds. Her office was small by most standards, but felt comfortable and homely. She took a seat and you followed suit.

The air was tense, full of unanswered questions. 

“He’s alright, doing well, all things considered.” You offered, and her shoulders seemed to relax.

“You didn’t have to..” She started, and you waved your hand.

“It’s nothing, I know you must hold your breath everyday when it comes to him.” You spoke softly, as if people were listening. “He talked about you a few times, it was always brief, but he did.” 

“Thank you.” Leia reached out and squeezed your hand. The door opened behind you two and you saw a man, standing in the doorway, holding a wad of clothing.

“Ma’am Pava sent me in here with these.” He held up what looked like a shirt and pants. “She said you asked if she had spare uniforms?” 

“Well yes because she’s always in her pajamas or her flight suit.” Leia reached her hand out and he gave them to her, sparing you a cautionary glance. “All of black squadron seems to operate that way.” 

He opened his mouth to object, but she kept talking. “This is Poe Dameron, one of my top commanders and pilots.”

“THE top pilot, ma’am.” He turned to fully look at you, and you introduced yourself.

“She and I have family history.” Leia answered before Poe could ask. He didn’t take his eyes off you though.

“Have I met you before?” You swallowed thickly, clamming up to find a lie. You remembered him as soon as he started talking. 

“The Resistance will not be intimidated by you.” He struggled out to breathe.

“We’ll see.” Kylo said from in front of you, not yet aware that you had entered the room. The man you now know as Poe starts to scream.

“Ren, you’re needed by the supreme leader.” Most of your face covered by a hood, you avoid the curious gaze from the chair in front of you both.

“It’s in a droid, a BB unit.” He barked on his way out. You take one glance at the man before you leave, hesitating.

“No, I don’t believe we have.” You forced a smile. “It’s been a pleasure though.” You turned your gaze back to Leia, who cleared her throat.

“You’re excused, Commander.” He took a breath to object, but it died on his tongue. He offered a small smile and excused himself.

“I was there, when Ren…” You trailed off, staring at the now closed door. “How am I supposed to….”

“He may look tough, but he’s got his mother’s heart.” She sighed, standing and collecting a few more things. “He’ll understand, probably more than most.”

“I hope so.” Leia smiled and gestured toward the door. 

The quarters she gave you were smaller than yours on the Supremacy, but far less daunting. Glossy black walls had been replaced with cracked stone, this whole base a work in progress.The uniforms were more relaxed, and people smiled as you walked past, though you couldn’t shake the feeling that they saw right through you. Cracked foundations were held together by hope, maybe here, you thought, you could start to heal what Snoke shattered. 

You were going to go out and explore. You grabbed an old brown satchel, and went to place your saber inside. It was silver with a gold band around the emitter, black striping down the sides bleeding into the solid black band around the hilt, gold circles breaking up the darkness. Kylo thought little of it, said it looked too much like a Kenobi’s lightsaber. For once in your life though, you were happy you had something to remind you of the light that coursed through your veins. It would need a new crystal, the old one corrupted by the dark side, but that was a question for Leia at a later time.

The walk to the airfield was peaceful, on the ship, all you had was recycled air. But there was something about the breeze and the smell of wildflowers and trees. And if you were honest, the smell of the engines burning fuel was better than the nothingness that you had become accustomed to. 

Your eyes quickly set sight on the obnoxious X Wing that sat front and center. Black with an orange stripe, while it was Hux’s responsibility to know the specs of the Resistance, you knew that it was the ship that always meant trouble. You walked up to it and ran a hand down the side. The side panels were rough against your hand, but you liked it here, the perfection of the First Order became suffocating after a while.

“Can I help you?” A voice behind you asked. You turned to see the man from earlier, Poe, you think his name was. 

“Oh no, I’ve just never seen an X Wing in person before.” You laughed. “They’re just so legendary in my mind.”

“You a pilot?” He asked, walking closer. His black hair was messy, and there was grease on his orange flight suit.

You shook your head. “Oh no, my grandpa flew A Wings during the Clone Wars but other than that we’re a pretty ground bound family.” 

“Was your grandpa a clone?” Poe asked, and you furrowed your brows. 

“No?”

“Well because droids were used by the separatists and clones by the republic.” He laughed. “So unless your grandfather was a clone, that doesn’t work.” 

“There were civilians in the Republic.” You rolled your eyes. 

“I guess.” He shrugged his shoulders, you knew he didn’t buy it. But you were okay with it, it was something to talk about at another time. A reason to talk to him again.

“You have pilots in your family?” You asked, leaning against the warm metal of the body of the ship.

“Uh yeah, my mom.” He cleared his throat. “She flew A Wings.” He raised his finger to note the similarity. “But for the Rebels against the Empire.” 

“Sounds like a kickass woman.” You smiled. He shifted his weight and looked at his boots.

“Yeah, she was.” He smiled. You could sense the discomfort, and the loss. 

“So how long have you been with the Resistance?” 

“I’ve never met such a bold new recruit you know.” He laughed.

“Blame it on the family connection.” You laughed in return.

“What is the mysterious connection?” He asked, taking a step closer.

“Can’t give up all my secrets on the first day here.” You smirked. But how were you supposed to explain it all? Your father was a hidden bastard child from the days of Mandalore, your mother died before you could walk, you’re competition in training was the General’s son who was named after your grandfather who the General called to before Alderaan’s Doom – and that was just the surface level of it all.

“I’ll have to come bug you another time then.” You tried to hide the rising heat in your cheeks. 

“It’s a small base, you can come find me.” You smiled and pushed off the ship. “I’ll see you around.” 

“See you around, newbie.” You rolled your eyes, and kept walking.

You and Poe spent days on and off together, chatting, laughing, unknowingly being watched by Leia with a motherly smile. He radiated an energy unlike you had ever known, it was warm, and bright, and full of love. It was the light, the light that you were ordered to swear off for the rest of your days since you were a child. 

Leia felt like the mother you had never known. The both of you aching for something taken so long ago. You spent a lot of time with her, causing a lot of questions. 

Poe jumped to your defense everytime. Causing even more questions.

“Do you know where I can get a Kyber Crystal?” You piped up, reading in Leia’s private office while she worked.

“Why?” She just glanced up. You sighed.

“Mine won’t heal itself, no amount of meditation will ever make it change, not even to white. My blade still glows red.” You closed your book and turned to face her. A devilish grin grew on her face. “What?” 

“After Luke lost the temple, he gave his remaining crystals to someone he trusted for safekeeping against the rising order.” The grin grew more. 

“Where are they?”

“Yavin IV.” She smiled.

“Okay I’ll go to Yavin–”

“At Kes Dameron’s home.” Your jaw hit the floor. You felt like you had known Poe all your life, and maybe in another life you would have, but you really only knew him for a month or so. 

So now you had to ask to meet his dad, when you hadn’t even admitted to yourself you liked him. 

“I’m gonna have to ask him to go with me.” You breathed out, slightly nervous all of a sudden. 

“Relax, Poe needs to go home anyways, it’ll get Kes off my back.” You snorted. 

“And how do I approach that?” You started. Unaware of the door opening behind you. “Poe I need you to take me to your childhood home so I can get a crystal from your father because I secretly have a lightsaber and come from the lineage of a Jedi Master in the Old Republic, who trained both Vader and Luke?” You inhaled, unaware of how fast you were just talking. “I’m sure that’s a very easy question to ask.” 

“The answers’ yes, I just have a few questions first.” 

You thought you were gonna die right then and there.

The flight to Yavin wasn’t very long, but felt like years. The transport was small, Leia was unwilling to give up her large ships for the two of you. 

“So how long have you been a Jedi?” He asked, shifting the controls and turning to face you.

“I’m not a jedi.” You mumbled.

“Well you have a lightsaber. That’s a very jedi thing to have.” Of course in your oblivious confession, you didn’t include how you acquired the weapon.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You got up from the copilots seat now that you were in Hyperspace, wanting to be anywhere but under his gaze. He grabbed your forearm to stop you, and your skin burned at the touch.

“I have met you before.” He whispered. “You were on that ship.” 

“I’m so sorry.” Your voice was broken full of shame. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“Why were you there?” His eyes were locked on yours.

“I was a child, my father was on the run after Mandalore’s downfall. They caught us after a few years.” You sighed. “My father was killed, but Snoke knew of my lineage, said that because my grandfather created Vader, I had a capacity for greatness.” You shifted your weight and sat back into the chair. “I didn’t know the difference, I was so young, with this weird energy flowing through me that I couldn’t control.” 

“It’s okay.” He relaxed his hand and brought it back to his lap, you tried to hide your disappointment at the lack of touch. “You’re safe now.”

“Thank you.” You whispered, and you both sat in safe, comfortable silence before the ship made its entrance to the Yavin system.

Yavin IV, you’d come to realize, was a lot like D’Qar, luscious green trees and warm summer breeze. The Dameron home was a black and white contrast to anything you had known. Poe, on the other hand, doesn’t welcome the energy, instead tenses, as if he is in fear of what lies ahead.

“I’ll do the talking, if you want?” You offer, and Poe shakes his head.

“It’s alright.” He sighs. “How do you tell someone that the ideals they spent their life fighting are growing stronger everyday?”

“You tell them that there’s hope.” You smile softly. “Hope is the only thing you have that they don’t.” The weight of your blood red lightsaber seams to double, and none of this seems doable.

He starts to walk toward the house and you are left with no choice but to follow. He opens the door to find an older man with the same tone of skin, and same curly hair, faded now to a silver, working on something at the table. 

“Hey dad.” You want to hide behind Poe’s shadow.

How do you tell someone that the ideals they spent their life fighting are standing in front of them in their dining room?

“Poe!” He exclaimed with a smile, and gave his son a large hug. “Leia warned me you were coming. Who’s this?” He asked, returning to the neutral position.

“Oh this is Captain…” He trailed, remembering he’d never learned your last name.

“Kenobi.” You smiled, your chest swelling with pride at the surname you discarded so long ago. Recognition and surprise flashed among both men’s faces.

“I would assume you’re here for the crystals.” He winked.

“How did you…”

“A feeling, I guess.” He shrugged and began to search through a container, and Poe just mouthed your surname back to you with shock and wonder. You waved your hand to dismiss him. “Poe can you run this down to the lady down the road, the one who always gave you sweets after Shara said no?” He gestured to the project he was working on, and Poe opened his mouth to protest. 

But just like with Leia, it died long before he could manage words. He scooped it up and gave you an apologetic glance before leaving.

“Can I see it?” was the first thing Kes asked after his son’s departure.

“Y-Yeah.” You stumbled and pulled out the saber from your bag, handing it to him. He placed a small brown bag on the table with a quiet clink, and began to smile. 

“It resembles Luke’s second saber..” He looked at you. “Made with pieces of Ben Kenobis.” You couldn’t help but return the smile.

“It’s the same style, according to old texts.” You said. “Not exactly the same I’m afraid.” 

“What’s the need for a new crystal?” He handed it back.

“I..” You hesitated. Poe forgives so easily, but Leia said that was his mother, not Kes. “I was taken in by Snoke when I was young, trained..” You swallowed, staring at the saber in your hands. “I want to make things right, I can’t do that with red blades, the crystal is too broken to heal, I need to start anew.” Kes’ shoulders relaxed and he leaned against the table.

“I am sorry.” 

“For?”

“Had we done it right the first time, there never would have been a Snoke to corrupt your gift.” He smiled sadly, you reached for his hand and gave it a light squeeze.

“Had you done it the first time, I would have never met him.” You smiled. “And there will always be those who want destruction, but as long as there is more hope, then we’ll always have peace.” Tears welled up in your eyes, you were talking more to yourself, but he pulled you into a hug, and you cried, for the first time in years.

“I know a place where you can install that.” He said, releasing the hug, and you followed him to a large tree in the field. It hummed with energy. Not evil or good, not light or dark, just balanced force.

You sat on your knees in front, placing a crystal next to your saber, Kes walking away to give you a moment. You closed your eyes and pictured it all, the darkness, the mistakes, being swept away by light, and forgiveness. You opened them to reveal your reassembled saber, and the cracked crystal next to it. You decided to bury it with the tree, putting to rest your conflict, your guilt, and anger.

And Igniting your forgiveness, certainty, and compassion in a deep blue light. 

“A True Kenobi.” Kes said from afar, Poe just watching in awe as the sun set behind the mountains. You disabled the saber and wore it proudly on your belt.

“Thank you.” Was all you could manage, walking back toward the older of the two rebels.

“Don’t even worry about it.” He squeezed your shoulder, and walked back toward the house. 

“Bonfire?” Poe asked, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yes.”

The night fell rather quickly after the sun set, and the summer breeze gave a chill while you and Poe sat on a log and exchanged dumb jokes and he filled you in on all the need to know information. A silence fell over you soon enough and he just stared at you over his shoulder.

“Kenobi, huh?” He laughed. “My grandpa flew A-Wings.” He mocked

“You’re an ass.” You rolled your eyes.”He did!” You defended. 

“He was a kriffing Jedi that is the least interesting thing you could have said!” 

“Sorry my life story isn’t entertaining.” You punched his arm and he acted fake hurt.

“Oh it definitely is.” He poked. “They’ll write myths about you.”

“Hopefully about the good to come, not the bad that’s passed.” You half smiled. 

“I hope it’s all of it, more inspiring that way.” He locked eyes with yours.

“Me being a trained sith apprentice doesn’t scare you?” He shook his head. 

“No. Sith, Jedi, call it what you want but I just see a beautiful woman who is strong enough to know right from wrong.” He tucked a hair behind your ear. “And that means more than making things float.” He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your lips and your heart forgot how to keep a rhythm. 

You were sure Obi Wan was up there cursing about the Old Jedi Code and falling in love, or whatever. The best part was, you didn’t love Poe.

but you know you could, given time. 

And for once in your life you weren’t scared.

[moonraccoon-exe]

More thoughts about DA: I so far!

I said I’d do this like a week or two ago but lol. Have mercy on me ;u;

But yeh! Just a lot of random thoughts to share about my experience so far:

EPIC

SO FUCKING EPIC OH MY G O D THIS HAS TO BEO NE OF THE MOST EPIC STORIES I’VE PLAYED OR SEEN/READ, THIS IS JUST SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOOL

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

*HYSTERICALLY SQUEAKING*

Honestly from beginning to the point I’m in, it’s so EPIC, like- the SUMMIT of epic!!

The story and the lore and the world are all so vast, so impossibly vast, it’s mindblowing. The writers of this are true masterminds and I must applaude all this work, they created a full whole new universe that’s real and breathes and lives. Holy. Fuck. It’s truly mindblowing and mesmerizing, I can’t even put it into words so I won’t even try.

Leliana and Cassandra, though? FUCK ME, THEY’RE GLORIOUS.

I’m SO in love with this game’s portrait of women, because there are SO MANY, and all in actual PRACTICAL and realistic armor! Like, no giant anime tiddies protected only on the nipple, it’s full armors not even shaped to make them look attractive or “like women”. And not just your companions; throughout the story, you find women enemies and allies in armor, it’s AMAZING.

I love Cassandra’s accent/voice color. I want her to fuck me. But DAMN me, I went with female elf in the end, after SO MUCH thinking about every choice (as in, gender, race, and class. I took SO LONG picking one of everything).

DO WE AGREE THAT COLE IS A MISUNDERSTOOD SOUL AND HE  NEEDS PROTECC AND I LOVE HIM SO DEARLY AND SO MUCH HE JUST WANTS TO HELP DEAR COLE I LOVE YOU I’D TAKE A BULLET FOR YOU

Blackwall is charming? Like...I don’t know. I didn’t like him in a beginning but then he just. Went and spoke and FUCK HE’S CHARMING.

I really feel like praising more the lore and story-telling/writing but there’s just no putting it into words goddammit.

THE WHOLE SCENE OF THE ATTACK ON HAVEN AND THE ESCAPE TO SKYHOLD THOUGH?

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

E P I C

LIKE SOOOOOOOO EPIC THERE ARE NO WORDS ENOUGH TO DESCRIBE IT!!! BEST, MOST EXCITING, MOST EPIC CUTSCENE SO FAR AND ONE OF THE MOST EPIC I’VE SEEN LIKE HOLY SHIT, IT WAS GLORIOUSLY EPIC!!!!!! BEYOND WORDS! I STILL THINK ABOUT IT AND STILL GET ALL HYPED AND WORKED UP AND AKSLJDFAKGLJ

From the moment the attack starts I was like HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO COOL

Watching Cullen in action was GREAT, too! He gets so little screen time (in my opinion), like, he could have been given a bigger role, it’s sad to watch all his potential just standing there doing nothing. What I would give so he was a party member! But yeah, that’s why it was so cool to watch him act in that part.We’re used to Cassandra and Leliana by that point, so it was good to see Cullen in charge for once. Watch him give orders, raise the voice, command the army, GAWDS, IT STILL GIVES ME CHILLS

Surviving the whole thing was AMAZING, the thing with (I forgot the english word lkasjdlakdg) “bombing”/attacking the snow mountains to Mulan the whole thing and bury the bad guys in the avalanche was SO GLORIOUSLY EPIC.

And then Super Bad Guy appears and I was like ZOMG FUCK I AM GOING TO DIE AHA HSADJFAHDGJAD ZOMG THIS IS SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

I couldn’t save the people of Haven, though! I saved...the lady in charge of the...the one table that requests random things. Lady in armor? Forogt her name. Also saved Adan, I’m SO happy he made it!!! But Minaeve died lmao aah :’( And I think I lost someone else, but not sure who.

AND THEN WHEN YOU DECIDE TO GO BACK AND GIVE TIME FOR THE PEOPLE TO ESCAPE??? OMG CULLEN BEING THE ADORABLE MATURE IDIOT THAT I LOVE AND ROLLING WITH IT AKLSJDADKLGJ

AND THAT WHOLE SCENE WITH CORIPHEUS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*EXPLODES INTO A THOUSAND SNOWFLAKES*

AKSLJF KAL GJAILSJF ALKJF ALKJGALDKGJADLGKJ

SO

BADASS

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*HYSTERICALLY SCREECHING*

IT WAS SO EPIC! SO SO DAMN EPIC OMG IT WAS SUPER COOL!!!

I wasn’t too scared of him, like, the design doesn’t look that scary. But he’s got a nice air of villain! And the way he grabs you and picks you up, and then when you fire the thing to cause the lastavalanche?

I WAS LIKE

ZOMG

HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE OH MY G O D NO WILL I JUST RUN!?!? PLS RUN LITTLE ELF YOU CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN YOU

AND THEN YOU JUMP INTO THE GROUND AND YOU 

YOU ACTUALLY M A K E IT

AHA SADHGAD

*FANGASMS*

AND THE WHOLE WALK THROUGH THE SNOW DESERT episode Prompto anyone I WAS LIKEK OMG YES THIS TROPE I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS ABOUT THE HERO SURVIVING, BUT NO ONE KNOWING, AND MAKING IT THROUGH A SNOW DESERT ALONE BARELY SURVIVING BUT KEEPING ON

AND THE TROPE DIDN’T FAIL THE “HERO COLLAPSES WHEN THEY SEE THEIR FRIENDS AND THEIR FRIENDS YELLL “THERE THEY ARE!!!” AND RUN TO GO PICK YOU UP AND THEN

FUCK

FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

LIKE THE LORE AND WORLD AND UNIVERSE WASN’T MY JAM ALREADY

THEY THROW THIS AT ME!?!?!??!!?!?

PERFECT

BRILLIANT

GENIUS

I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS ONE BIT, I HAVE A SAVE JUST TO REPLAY ALL THAT SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE, THIS IS SO E X Q U I S I T E

And the best part personally is that it’s Cullen teddy bear who spots you aaah ;A; <3

And the next bit? When you wake up and the advisors are arguing. So you decide to chime in to try and ease it. But you have no idea what to say, so Mother Giselle comes in and starts singing?

And then Leliana joins?

And then Cassandra

And then CULLEN

AND THEN EVERYONE

AND EVERYONE IN CAMP GATHERS AROUND YOU AND SING THE MAIN THEME OF THE GAME AND YOU DISCOVER “OMG IT’S THE MAIN THEME OF THE TITLE SCREEN, OMG IT HAS LYRICS” AND THE WHOLE VISUALS LIKE AFTER THE TRAGEDY EVERYONE THAT SURVIVED GATHERING AROUND YOU AND SINGING AND SOLAS WATCHING IN ADMIRATION EVEN WHEN HE DOESN’T BELIEVE IN ANDRASTE/THE HUMAN RELIGION AND

GOOSEBUMPS

LITERAL GOOSEBUMPS AND CHILLS ALL OVER MY BODY, LIKE A DAMN BOLT, OM HY GOD THAT HAS TO BEO NE OF THE MOST IMPACTING SCENES SO FAR, IT JUST GIVES ME SO MUCH GOOSEBUMPS AND MAKES ME GO AKSLJF AKLGJADFLKA

*FANGASMS AGAIN*

OKAY BUT I FORGOT

THE WHOLE TIME TRAVEL THING WITH DORIAN!?!?!?!?

*sHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK*

So I went mages instead of Templars. Because ya know, it felt better? Like, yes, I know mages have done bad things before, but templars are hunting for them like they’re “things” or beasts, so I felt that it was best to support mages instead of Templars.

Okay but sidenote; I thought Cullen was going to be upset at me, like MAD. Because, you know, he used to be a Templar, and he still is so in love with the Templars and always talks so nicely and excitedly about them, and tried to encourage you to go with Templars. So I chose Mages thinking he was going to rage at me.

And what did he do? “Oh well, yes, the mages are good, they may be able to help us close the rift. They’re good allies :)”

AND I LOSE IT

CULLEN. MY DEAR. MY LOVE. MY STUPID IDIOT, I LOVE YOU.

Seriously, I’m SO IN LOVE with how mature he is. That and his shyness are what convinced me to romance him. He took it so nicely, like, he doesn’t throw tantrums or argues; he knows what’s at risk, he wants the best to turn out of everything, and when things happen, he knows to just get over it and take it to his vantage and see it in a positive way and fUCK GODS HAVE MERCY ON ME, IT WAS GREAT

OKAY SO BACK TO TPOIC

MAGES

SO YOU GO TO THIS CASTLE and well I guess you know the whole thing already lmao, SO THAT TIME TRAVEL WITH DORIAN? 

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK IT WAS THE SECOND OR THIRD MOST EPIC THING IS WEAR TO THE HEAVENS DEAR LORDS AOVE IT WAS GLORIOUS!!!!!!!d

Exploring the castle alone with him wasamazing (gotta talk about orian ina sec). And when you learn you were transported a  whole year into the future? I was like HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL TRY WAITING TEN (was definitely thinking about FFXV OTL these poor babies waited so much... :( ). I felt bad finding Cassandra and Varric poisoned/consumed by the lyrium, but when you find Leliana?

LIKE HOLY FUCK WHAT DID THEY DO TO HER ZOMG SHE AGED LIKE 90 YEARS IN JUST 1 IT WAS INCREDIBLE

AND THE WHOEL SCENE OF YOUR COMPANIONS DECIDING TO GIVE THEIR LIVES TO GIVE YOU TIME!?!?!?

SO EPIC. SO FUCKING EPIC GAWDS DAMN ME, ONEO F THE DEMONS CAME THROUGH THE DOOR WITH VARRIC’S CORPSES AND IT STILL HAUNTS ME

FROM AMONG EVERYONE THEY KILLED DEAR VARRICAND I DIE

AND THEN LELIANA...PROUDLY STANDING THERE, FEARLESS, BRAVE, SO BADASS AND SO COOL, SHOOTING ARROWS WHILE PRAYING AND GIVING YOU TIME

FUCK ME

I WANTED TO GO AFTER HER BUT I ALSO KNEW I DIDN’T HAVE TO FUCK UP BUT LIKE IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

EPIC

*sHRIEEEEEEEK*

*EXPLODES AGAIN*

AND DORIAN!?!?!?

FUCM KE M Y HEART HE’S ADORABLE AND I’M SO ABSURDLY IN LOVE WITH HIM

I had regretted making a female avatar int hemoment I learned  Cassandra doesn’t romance female. But I moved on. But when I learned Dorian only romances male??? INSTANT REGRET.

DORIAN THAT FUCKING IDIOT, I’M SO IN LOVE WITH HIM. There’s somethingabout the “guy that loves himself so much, it’s narcissistic”, because they’re fun. And like, eh’s not selfish, just narcissistic. Loves himself, but is kind and supportive. He’s so intelligent, wise, he’s so kind, he’s lots of fun, damn me, he’s elegant, and he’s a MAGE. I LOVE MAGES.

I love his voice, too. All of him is GREAT and I love him. Sassy little shit that loves himself, GAWDS. I have to romance him someday!

Also loved the whole thing with Solas when he’s like “I just casually happen to know this huge abandoned castle nearby here, maybe it can be of use c:” Solas you adorable idiot. But honestly, watching the Inquisitor and Solas lead the way to Skyhold was PHENOMENAL and so beautiful. I’m in love with snowy scenarios so I truly loved it, and Skyhold? MAGNIFICENT. A PIECE OF ART. SO BEAUTIFUL SUCH A BREATHTAKING SIGHT AKLSDJFAKDLGJ ALKFJA

The game sort of tried to incline me to romance Solas multiple times, and I for sure will do that in a second playthrough, because GODS HE’S CUTE. I love how profoundly wise and mature he is. And he has an air of melancholy that sort of attracts me, not like “ooh sexy!” but like...I want to comfort him, and love him, and clean him. He feels like such a melancolic character. Even Cole says Solas is sor tof a “sad creature” or something. It breaks my heart when Solas says bye because he says it so sadly like omg no pls ;A;

I LOVED going into the dream with him. It was just natural to go and kiss him but I didn’t aksldjdagk, I wanted to romance CUllen so badly XD But it was amazing!! And the way he asks the next day if you enjoyed your dreams, it was so cute. Solas is such a good and nice friend!!

I loved his quest rescuing his spirit friend. I felt sad in the conversation afterwards because, as I didn’t romance him, he ended the conversation with “It means I respect you profoundly, Inquisitor. And that I’ve taken too much of your time already” and left I was like NO SOLAS DARLING PLS I SWEAR INA  SECOND LIFE I WILL LOVE YOU AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

But yeh. Solas is amazing.

Also, Iron Bull and Dorian are flirting and I love it. There was a point, Dorian tried to argue with him about the Qunari attacking Tevinter and he was like “So would you prefer to see me ona leash?” to which Iron Bull replied “I’d take you out for dinner first”.

Omg Bull. Omg IRON BULL OMG THAT IS PRIVATE XD And today Dorian was like “Can you PLEASE be careful with that pointy thing and not direct it towards me?” and Bull was like “Lmao kkinky”, so Dorian was like “JESUS CHRIST, I meant your weapon!”

I WANT THEM TO FUCK. if I can’t fuck Dorian, then may the Bull fuck him for me DAMMIT

Josephine is adorable and so kind. I almost romanced her, too. Talked with her at the balcony and she was all gratitudde and joy ad shyness. 

Also Vivienne? First time we meet her I was like OH MY GOD SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL. OMG SHE’S GORGEOUS. SO FIRM, SO REGAL, SO MIPOSING, SO INDEPENDENT, SO BADASS.

Then at Haven when she’s finally off-mask I was like omg she’s bald AND SHE’S ROCKING THAT LOOK OMG SHE’S SO GOROUGES, LOOK AT TAHT SKIN COLOR, IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL, AND HER WHITE DRESS AND OMG I LOVE HER

And now it’s like “omg Vivienne cAN YOU PLEASE STOP! >:’(” because hahaha, BOY! She’s gorgeous and strong, but so difficult!! We just disagree morally. I’m all hero-like regarding “Everyone deserves peace/a chance/freedom, love and peace, do the right thing, spirits are friends” and Vivienne is all “WE NEED TO BE STRICT. LIKE IRON FIST STRICT. TELL THAT SPIRIT TO FUCK OFF. KILL THIS PERSON. FUCK THE MAGES” and like nooooooo!!! Vivienneeeeeeee, that’s not how you show mercy!!!!

I think she’s the only one I won’t be able to befriend...she’s disapproved of almost all that I’ve done... OTL

MORE NOTES

FIRST OF ALL

WHY THE FUCK CAN’T WE ROMANCE CULLENW ITH A MALE INQUISITOR!?!?!?! WHY. THE. FUCK

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

IT WOULD BE SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE

Also WHY CAN’T WE ROMANCE LELIANA!?!?! THAT IS A PUNISHMENT FROM THE HELLS, SHE’S AMAZING. And gay.

Also WHY THE FUCK CAN’T WE ROMANCE CASSANDRA WITH A FEMALE!?!??!?! ;^;

Also, why can’t weromance Varric with ANYONE? Honesly, he’s one of my favorites! He’s so charming, outgoing, so lighthearted. He’s so understanding and mature. I love that he has the heart of an artist and dedicates to writing. I love how he doesn’t take things personally. I love his sensibility. Honestly, he probably would have been my option 1 of romance if only he was romanceable. I’m so upset he’s not an available option!

SPEAKING OF ROMANCE

I JUST ROMANCED CULLENT ODAY AND 

HONESTLY I REGRET NOTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

IT’S SO ABSURDLY ADORABLE, SUCH A VANILLA LOVE OMG IT WAS SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The reason he was my first option was because of that first reaction you get at Haven. When he goes all excited talking about protecting the weak and innocent and saving the world then he is like “Haha, sorry, I ranted and you’re not here so to hear me talk :)”

And you go “But I like your enthusiasm”. I picked that because I REALLY thought his enthusiasm was nice.

And his reaction??? HIS REATION!?!?!?!?

Like...you look at him. And you think “Oh, it’sa pretty boy. Charming and outgoing. He’ll probably just laugh it off, your casual, stereotyped Romeo”.

But???

TURNS OUT HE’S A DORK.

A DORK MADE OF SHYNESS THAT GETS EASILY FLUSTERED AND HAS NO IDEA HOW TO TALK TO OTHERS

THIS

ABSOLUTE

IDIOT

AKSJDFA KLGJA SKLDJAGL KAJDGALKDJA LKSJDA

THAT IS WHAT GOT ME

IT JUST

GOT ME

IT GOT ME SO BAD, I WAS ISNTANTLY HOOKED AS SOON AS HE CAME OUT AS THIS SHY DORK.

BECAUSE HONSTLY

THAT IS SO CUTE

I HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR SHY, QUIET PEOPLE BECAUSE IT CAN BE SO CUTE AND CULLEN DIDN’T DISAPPOINT.

The way he just stared at my elf like .____. *brain death* zomg what do I do what do I say pls halp I’m lost and he just stuttered and went shy and looked away and PANICKED

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HE’S SUCH AN IDIOT

I LOVE HIM

And all throughout the courting process with him, he’s all shyness and adorableness, I swear to the gods, I AM SO WEAK

I think at some point of the War Table, he’s staring at the Inquisitor? Like, before you are the Inquisitor. Because Leliana goes “So, you were telling us.........Cullen?”, and Cullen goes all “HM? OH- AH-...YES- AH...”and talks about something else, so like. Was he daydreaming OR was something in sight range, hm?

And then at Sky hold? That ADORABLE conversation when he’s staring and staring and tries to not say bye and right before you walk away he goes with what he has been containing about “You stayed behind, at Haven. You could have...” and then he swears it won’t happen again and he’s there for you AND I DIE, GIVE ME MY FAIRY TALE VANILLA LOVE, I LOVE IT.

And stuf stuff blah blah, AND WHEN YOU FINALLY ROMANCE HIM?

HONESTLY I’M JUST SO HAPPY BECAUSE HE’S THIS SHY STUTTERING IDIOT, YOU WOULD EXPECT HIM- LIKE YOU KNOW, strong warrior archetype, with the big armor, strong and badass, you would EXPECT him to be charmming, confident, utgoing, charming, flirty. But instead? Stuttering shy idiot that gets nervous. AND HONESTLY THAT MAKES ME FEEL SO HAPPYAND INLOVE WITH HIS CHARACTER GAWDS DAMN ME IT’S SO CUTE

So when you ask him to talk alone with him, is he confident now?

NAH MAN

He just stares away, gets nervous, and stutters” I-IT’S A NICE WEATHER, ISN’T IT? AHAH” like bruh. You nervous, anxious idiot PLS KISS ME ALREADY.

And that almost-kiss. IT WAS ADORABLE. And then the kiss-kiss. EVEN MORE ADORABLE. And they even give you soft piano music, aaaahhhh, I DIE ;A;

SO YEH. LOOKING FORWARDS TO MORE, BOTH ABOUT THE WHOLE STORY AND THE ROMANCE WITH CULLEN.

I could make the one quest...Wicked Hearts, something Eyes (I’M NOT PLAYING IT IN ENGLISH I’M SORRY), I think you go to a ball? But I have this habit of trying to complete as many sidequests as I can so you know. I’m taking long and doing it slow OTL

But enjoying it!!! And anyway, I spent too long writing this and now I feel guilty alksjdfkladjga

But yeh! My experience so far! C:

Thanks for reading!