#i forgot abt ur tumblr so i got this ask and went. who tf is this.

[edgarallanpoestan]

trick or treat!

zomkitty >:3

[starkissr]

idk why

ppl want to be fake friends like i’d rather have real friends or no friends but i don’t get why ??? ppl rly wanna try n be my fake friend like no listen i’m sorry but i can’t be ur friend on the day u feel lonely n a stranger when ur thriving and omg!!!! this one rly just told me my expectations are too high bc get this! i asked her to consider me like o ok lol so you’re rly telling me in ur twisted idea of a friend I’m not allowed to expect u to care abt me like isn’t that only the literal definition of a friend my mistake??? bc i totally get having no expectations of ppl and all that but at the end of the day when ur then best friend decides to ignore ur existence then come back into ur life whenever they feel like it? like my problem isn’t that ur trying to come back into my life i’m open to whatever ok but when u can’t have consistent intentions to be a good friend u auto = fake aka nobody ???? i GET that ppl mess up obv i’m not perfect either but it’s just admitting that and actually understanding where u went wrong n at least making an honest effort of not doing it again that is SO CRUCIAL

wow wow wojeofiae and like it’s just soooo funny when ur pride is the fucking reason we’re not friends??? like if ur ego is what’s holding u back i rly don’t need someone so easily swayed by that bs in my life? so no i’m not gonna try or give a fuck abt u if ur idea of a friend is not aligned w mine like and if it isn’t that’s fine we don’t have to be friends uk but like idk it sucks tbh bc i’ve been sooo transparent abt how ur lack of words/actions hurt me so bad so u literally know but don’t do anything w this knowledge??? n still wanna try and talk to me like we’re friends after?? fuck no

it’s sad that 2 of my absolute best friends did this to me in diff ways but like this is the underlying pattern n it just hurts so bad when the person ur the closest to in the world and has learned the most abt u and has been thru sooo many ups and downs just one day decides that ur not important to them anymore uk??? like and when they come back later bc of c that’s what they always fucking do! they expect it to be like the old days and make u feel like ur fucking crazy for being hurt when they literally just left u in the dark. it was so painful to grieve thru that period without u bc i had to feel what it was like when u turned ur back on me and yes it was v fucking cold bc when i was ur friend it was all sunny days n that was a stark contrast but 

also these past few days rly just make me wanna ask u why tf are u so fucking bipolar and a passive aggressive cunt to me one second and talking to me in ur bubbly tone like im ur friend legitimately 2 seconds later bc oh u just remembered u can use me for this thing or that??? i’ve literally never met an angrier or immature person? like ok obv i’m just off one on this rant so i’m gonna explain just how this girl tried me today! so she’s my roommate n keep in mind like i have told her explicitly my problem w her is that she hurt me when she didn’t communicate w me n went mia like i said this multiple times so no guess work needed n anyway today i was playing music in our room and guess what this girl does!!! puts her music on louder than mine! at first i was like?????????????? literally what? LIKE DID U RLY!!!!!!!!! JUST DO THAT LOL it was rly too much for u to tell me u wanted to play ur music???? i was honestly amazed and was like ok like obv this just sounds like shit at this pt n tbh all i wanted to do was just ask u why u felt that u didn’t want to tell me u wanted to play ur music? but then i checked myself and remembered ur words that i am expecting too much of u when i ask why u don’t care to communicate certain things so i guess it’s too much to ask u this too so like what now? n i just turned my music off after this internal resolution that u literally told me i can’t expect anything from u aka i can’t ever expect u to show up for me so like who is someone to u that is there one day and not the next?? like a relationship needs a degree of stable commitment and if i can never count on u why would i want to waste my time waiting on u to fuck up / my breath for calling u my friend? 

the ppl i’m lucky enough to call my friends are ppl that i’m inspired by and i’m not saying ur an ugly person like obv u have parts of u that are so beautiful and that’s who i saw in u before but like if u keep showing me how ugly u can be don’t blame me if u singlehandedly broke my trust in u ??? AND ANYWAY LOL if ur reading this still the CHERRY on top of it all and what actually got me fucking mad is this !!!! girl!!!! asked me for a bandaid a breath after i turned my music off. like. o. ... .m. . . m. g. i just honestly couldn’t believe it n w her cheery ass tone like this is what i’m talking abt how u only matter to them when they need u!!! i was debating asking her abt the music thing now that she decided i was worth speaking to but literally it just wasn’t worth it to hear another one of ur excuses??? i would’ve loved to see what u would’ve twisted out of that situation tbh but i was also like ok like i don’t wanna help u bc ur a cunt but then i was like uk what! she wins if i’m a bitter person bc of her by telling her no so i let her have my stupid bandaid but talk to me like we’re friends one more time and i swear to fucking god !!!!! i won’t be so silent 

n my friends are like r u gonna be friends w her after n i’m like ? what friend treats a friend like this ????????? like real q? this is not a friend. why would i say yeah i’ll be friends w her just to make her happy? no bitch my one requirement to be my friend is to act like a fucking friend and if u tell me that’s expecting too much of u like ok but u have to understand! this is my definition of a friend i can’t be ur friend then ! stop half ass trying!!!!!! either leave me tf alone or the moment u choose to decide (and actually act like) u wanna be real to me is when i consider u my friend again uk!! i’m not gonna hold ur shit over ur head but idk i feel like it’s bc they think that i will that they don’t try or honestly i don’t know their reason why but all i do know is there’s a blatant discrepancy between their words and their actions. for both of them but like the one who did this to me first even apologized to me and like i honestly rly appreciated that like it was only! a year and a half late lol but still i was happy but then they went ahead and did them and i haven’t heard of them since! like ok COOL so u just wanted to say we’re friends then go away again like that’s what i’m saying i don’t get it why do ppl want to be fake friends? what’s the pt????????? wow ok these are just the questions that i’m asking myself rn it like tears me apart that the ppl who know me best can’t bother to act like my friend when they wanna still have the perks of calling me a friend ! literally if any of them were to hit me up and put an attempt that lasts o idk beyond a single day to be my friend then i’m down i’m there but don’t fucking tell me i have high expectations for thinking ur my friend yeah obv i’m rly frustrated at everyone for complicating everything like clearly i care so much abt these ppl and that’s why i’m hell bent on trying to make myself feel ok for not taking them back bc as much as i love them i have self respect and literally it would just become an emotionally abusive relationship if i try to engage in a friendship where the friend would just let me down every day like i already have my own shit i’m dealing w why tf would i want to put myself thru unnecessary pain?

like everyone knows when ur being genuine or not. the recent one gave me a fake apology and it was so clear it was fake and last night she even admitted that it was n that she doesn’t think she needs to apologize and like i’m just like ......... so let’s just say i forgot that u can’t stick to ur word ok.... did u rly just have to remind me again?! this is what i’m talking abt it’s just painful and i can’t be ur friend if u can’t be real w me ok that’s all if anyone wants to be a human w me say hi like i rly don’t think anyone reads this so i was gonna delete my tumblr so long ago bc like whats the pt if no one sees u but then i realized how fucking cool that is and how liberating it is to just like put ur thoughts out into the interweb like journal writing is cool n all but on the off chance someone other than me does happen to see this then hi ur only looking at my deepest thoughts so i might as well know who u r lol but like if not (prob) then that’s ok i’ll just lol at myself when i reread this later! as stressful as this is like omg i’m graduating next week and i won’t have these kinda petty problems anymore and like that’s cool when that happens but idk i’m just not ready to grad f m u so ik as like annoying as this is and as stressed as i am abt my classes and assignments and finals and the future i’m eternally grateful for my education n like that’s why i don’t wanna leave! it’s the little things like tn i was at a coffee shop studying w friends n in the car ride back me n one of them were talking abt that one cute barista like he doesn’t matter but having someone to just say whatever the fuck u want w n confide in! it’s these little pleasures that i just love so much!!! n like i didn’t even notice but my friend brought to my attn like how he was acting kinda dumbstruck when he was talking to us n i was like lol fuck ur right that’s fucking hilarious n i had a new thing to laugh abt that i wouldn’t have if i had experienced it alone uk! like talking is literally what allows a relationship to flourish so w these 2 ppl where they just don’t communicate w me like that sounds like such a small flaw but the reason why it’s such a problem is that it literally stunts the friendships growth! how can we connect and etc if u can’t share what’s rly going on w me??????? or like why do u feel u don’t need to talk abt the truth?????? but ya as i was saying lol it’s ok i’ll just have to grind until i can get into my next school (hopefully, someone take me pls lol sos) but ya idk i suffer a lot during school but tbh it’s my fav ever so i’m so sad i’m graduating!!!!!! but like the only thing that’s making it ok is bc all of us are saying the same thing and it’s comforting that even tho we all dk what the fuck is going on i’m not the only one 

so mostly sad bc i’m gonna miss my real friends here soooooooo much like w all my heart omg nothing will be the same again and i’m not ready! i’ll miss being seconds away and the fact that i can go over or call them like hoe get ready bc we’re going to the beach that’s down the street!!!! at my parents place the beach is half an hour away and i was in love but u had to drive like an extra 15-30 min to get to even nicer beaches n bruh let me tell u i rly did myself right by going to a school an actual 5 seconds away from the beach and granted besides us students it’s a rich white conservative person area but still it’s in a cute n clean area?? omg like this is just as good as it gets uk??? so ya blessed to be stressed 

!?!?@#

[sweetnestor]

crankgameplays livestream 4/25/17

(((lmao im 2 days late i was at the movies when he did this)))(((also should i do this for every stream he does??)))

Hes eating popcorn ‘even though its greasy and i broke out!!!’

Forgot to take acne meds for like a week and he broke tf out :(

Still cant record in his new place which is why he decided to stream

Fave dog breed is portuguese water dogs bc those are his doggos back home :’)

Hes excited for tour and hopes ppl will go :D

It was fun making the tour announcement video, but he realized how out of shape he was afterwards

He should be going to vidcon, and while he said that he bit down on a kernel and it really hurt :(((

Doesnt rly care what ppl think abt his acne, he just really wants to get rid of it

Says good luck to everyone going thru finals!!!! Also says to make sure to give urself a break and not to burn urself out!!!! Drink water!!! Eat food!!!!

Moving from maine to california was really scary for him bc he never lived anywhere else before and he went from a small town to a big city

Mainly says to be smart abt spending and things bc ‘when u dont live with ur parents anymore things get fuckin expensive!’

Someone was making him a friendship ring for when they meet him, and they asked for his ring size, which he doesnt even know :p

Secret to adulting: no one knows what theyre doing

Eats mac n cheese with a fork apparently, spoons are for ice cream

Was originally just gonna keep the blue hair after dyeing it once, but he ended up really really liking it so he kept it

What was your dream job in high school, ethan? “this right here!! Youtube!!” :’)

Never finished the last guardian bc there were technical difficulties every time he recorded, so he’ll probably stream it at one point

Is it hard being a youtuber? ‘Yes and no. its not like labour work but it is hard work’

Puts 16-18hrs youtube work when hes not doing video stuff with mark :o

PLENTY OF PPL HAVE ASKED HIM TO THEIR PROM :’)

Recommended several places to eat in la (didnt catch the names fUCK)

Do i have to donate for him to answer my question?? ‘No no not at all!!’ HOLY SHIT HE ANSWERED ‘yeah cos im just reading the chat!!!!’

*continues being flustered over ppl donating*

*chokes on a kernel mid sentence*

Fave part of youtube is meeting ppl in the community and talking to all of us :’’’)

How do u deal with ur peanut allergy? He has to read ingredients and ask at restaurants if they us peanuts or peanut oil in the kitchen,and if they do then he wont order there :/

He enjoyed 13rw but there were things he didnt like, like the dialogue

‘Aahh im not that cool im kinda dumb’ -after ppl say how much they like him and his videos (shut the heck up ethan ur cool shhh)

Has decent eyebrow shape, never has done anything to them

Surprised he hasnt recorded with tyler, amy, kathryn for his channel

Doesnt have anxiety, but really feels for people who suffer from it daily and hopes theyre doing okay (thank u lil bean)

Might not get a po box bc itll probably get out of hand

Wants to record VR stuff so bad but he aint got space at the moment :(

Doesnt think he’ll make a public video of him singing

hES GOT AN UNLISTED VIDEO THO WHAT (someone link me pls)

Ppl frequently ask if he would ever record with a smaller youtuber and he says as much as he’d want to help them out, he wouldn’t do it just so they can benefit off it, he’d want to do it bc they’re friends or something

He’s not much of a reader due to his attention span, he’ll be reading and then starting thinking about something else and then 5 pages later he realizes he hasn’t read anything at all :/

He doesnt like when ppl touch his hair :(

Or his butt :(((((

Someone grabbed him at pax and it was p aggressive :/

Be gentle with the boy ok :((((((((((

Doesnt know if he wants kids, like he’s only 20 so he don’t know

Can i call u daddy? ‘I’d like it if you didnt!’

Tattoo plans? Wants to get his first at some point in the year, doesn’t know what he wants, possibly a nitw tat :o

He gOT A UKULELE HECK YEA

Fave dodie song? *goes on a long ramble abt dodie being v talented* :’)

If u see him in public, dont be afraid to go say hi :)

He might dye his hair white or something but definitely not anytime soon, he also wonders how it would look completely black

Went to gymnastics camp when he was ‘a little lad’

Ppl frequently ask his sexuality, *sings straight white male*

He dreams in color

Conventions in the summer: vidcon in june, indypopcon in july, pax west in september

Wasnt feeling too happy the other day, gets through it by telling himself that tomorrow will get better, or that things will get better over time, reach out and talk to people 

He wrote a long tumblr post when he was having that shitty day

*dancing to music*

Disney movies he likes: the jungle book, the little mermaid, the lion king

*moving around rapidly* stop lagging stop lagging stop lagging stop lagging

Gave specific tips on how to do backtucks (is that what it was i couldnt catch the word on time)

Headed out bc he has to get up early the next day

Said thanks to the ppl staying up late in different time zones

Appreciates ppl who donate, but doesnt encourage