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tauers-go-dutch · 7 years ago

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Greece-y Turkey

Hold onto your butts- this one is a long one. We spent a week on vacation, so we have a lot to write about.

A couple of months ago, Mariah and I were talking about plans to go on a longer trip for her birthday and for Thanksgiving, both of which would fall on the same week. We first discussed Iceland- eventually turning it down not due to the cold (it’s apparently always cold in Iceland), but due to the perpetual darkness with no guarantee for a decent view of the Northern Lights. So we looked for warmer alternatives. After talking to various friends that had been there before, our minds turned towards Turkey. Sure, the political climate hasn’t been great the past couple of years, but we figured the everyday people would be friendly enough. Besides, Turkey looked beautiful, and Istanbul is one of the most historic cities in the world. So we made plans… oh, and we decided why not go to Greece in the same trip?

The trip wasn’t without snags… Turkey requires a visa for US citizens. We bought ours online, and two days later, shit went down and the US and Turkey revoked tourist visa privileges from each other. So… we didn’t know if we could go for a few weeks. We ended up calling the embassy and previously issued travel visas were said to be honored. Further, eventually privileges were reinstated by both countries. That didn’t stop the Dutch checking agents at the airport from harassing us with outdated information- they almost didn’t let us board because, ‘Well, the presidents of both countries are fighting right now.’ Um, close… I guess. And people say Americans are ignorant.

Obviously we got on the plane. It was literally the last flight out of Schipol at midnight. A poor three and a half hours of sleep and we were in Istanbul. But that was just the layover. Another sleepless few hours and we were in Kayseri- a small city in the center of the Asian portion of the country. From there, it was an hour shuttle ride to Goreme, the main city in the Cappadocia region. Yes, I wrote this to indicate the bit of a pain to get to Cappadocia, but it is worth it. The region is populated with ‘fairy chimney’ rock formations. They are gorgeous, and even more so when you learn that people carved homes and churches in them in the middle ages. Now, whole hotels are embedded in the rocks- including ours! After settling in, Mariah and I found lunch (delicious Turkish pide), and just walked around taking in the sites. I mean, the sunset was amazing! Then was an early dinner (seriously delicious and home cooked) and early bedtime.

Our cave hotel

The next morning, we were supposed to have a balloon tour to see the sunrise, but the wind was too strong to go up. Oh well, we made the most of it by going to see some of the aforementioned churches in the Goreme Open Air Museum. If you end up going, pay the extra fee to go into the Dark Church. Luckily, when we went, we were the only people in at the time, and the docent was kind enough to give us a mini tour of the church and the beautiful frescoes adorning the walls. Unfortunately, the frescoes are only preserved from the little light entering the church (hence Dark Church), and no photos are allowed.

Afterwards, we tried Turkish ravioli (which is a dish from Cappadocia as we came to find out later) and some amazing Turkish samosas (I can’t remember the actual names, so I have to resort to analogizing the dishes). We then took a quick taxi to a small town to the north called Avanos. The main part of town is very nice and picturesque, but we quickly found out the rest of town is not so nice. We bobbled around a bit (and were guilted into buying a souvenir), then we made our way back to Goreme. We were told that the balloon ride would be canceled again the next day, so Mariah scheduled a consolation prize- a hamam bath.

This was a real treat- just be sure to check you inhibitions at the door. We paid for a bath, massage, and facial. We started in a sauna, which we really got the sweat going. Then, in just a towel, you lie down on a stone table. A person then dowses you in water and gives you rough luffa scrub up and down your entire body. This is followed by a lavender soap rub down- again all over. You are rinsed and then given slippers to go back and relax before your massage. Too bad my slippers were three sizes too small! The massage and facial were standard, but welcomed. We left the place feeling so relaxed and refreshed. Dinner that night was some of the best I’ve had. Truly a great night.

Avanos

One size... fits all?

The next day wasn’t too eventful. Honestly we just made our way back to Istanbul, which was rainy. We had some good durum and climbed the Galata Tower for some spectacular views of the city. Plus we had some great baklava. You might be sensing a theme that I enjoyed the food there, which was good because the next day we scheduled a food tour around the city.

Galata Tower

We met our guide, Latif, in the old city. Latif opened up a small local tour company, Istanbul on Food, with his college friend. His friend has since moved to Australia, but Latif carries on the business. I can’t stress enough how good this tour is. Latif has been in the tour game for 12 years, and his passion for Turkey really shows. If you go to Istanbul, book this tour. The food is so good, and there is so much (really too much).

We went on the ‘Taste of Two Continents’ tour, and started the day off with breakfast in the Spice Bazaar. Latif gathered simit bread, various cheeses, Turkish pastrami, menemen (eggs with peppers and tomatoes), clotted creamy and honey, and both chunky and smooth hazelnut butter. Holy shit, everything was amazing, but the smooth hazelnut butter was dangerous, which shouldn’t be a surprise given it was basically Nutella without chocolate. Afterwards we hopped on a ferry over to the Asian side of the city. While it was chilly, we sat outside and caught some amazing views. In the meantime, Lafit shared how the Asian side, specifically the Kadikoy neighborhood, is, ironically, situated more like a European city than the European side of Istanbul. After living in Europe for a year, I completely agree. It really is an intangible feeling, but Kadikoy was hip and trendy, and very enjoyable. To hammer home the European feel, we started at a sweet shop by the port. There we had salep, a spiced hot drink made from orchid flour. While the Salep was good, the really cool thing about the shop was the Christmas sweets that they sold. Turkey, as you may know, is predominately an Islamic nation. However, it is a secular nation, and very open to people of other faiths, as evidenced by its sale of chocolate Santas. It was very heartwarming to see Latif relive childhood memories upon sight of the chocolate Santas which he used to have as a kid growing up in Germany (Germany has the largest Turkish population in Europe, outside Turkey).

From there, we had lunch at Ciya, which is widely regarded as the best lunch in the city. Each day the restaurant has a new menu of various dishes from regions throughout the country. We had samples of two different stews, baba ganoush, stuffed eggplant, puff bread, and Turkish pizza. Seriously, SO. MUCH. FOOD. And this was stop three of 12. The next stop was to the originator of a special type of donor kebap- an iskender kebap. This one doesn’t come wrapped up, but is rather eaten like an open-face sandwich and smothered in tomato sauce. And it is considered more upscale than the common street food version. Luckily, after this stop we a stop for some lighter fare- traditional pickled veggies. We had cucumbers (ie pickles), beets, cabbage, carrots, tomatoes, and even a plum. The plum was weird, but we cleansed our palate with a mix of pomegranate molasses and tahini. Yum!

Next we walked over to a street stand, and tried some mussels. We had both fried and steamed- the steamed was mixed with rice and lemon, and was heavenly. Well, at least for me… not sure Mariah thought as much. But our next stop was for tantuni. This was described as Turkish tacos, and that’s pretty accurate. They’re even better with hot peppers! The sour yogurts drinks that came with them were pretty awful, though. Latif said every American he’s taken on tour has hated them, so there’s that. Next was kokorec, which, stay with me here, is pig intestine wrapped around tripe, roasted, diced, and served in toasted bread. Actually not too bad, but I wouldn’t make it a habit. Supposedly, the EU is cracking down on kokorec for sanitary reasons (Turkey is/was half-heartedly trying to join the EU), which is probably a good call. Next is a quick stop for raw meatballs, which is actually meat-free, and made from walnuts. Supposedly, the original recipes called for meat, which wasn’t cooked due to a punishment from god, but now is made from walnuts. It’s actually decent.

Unfortunately, this is not a milkshake- it is a salty, plain yogurt beverage!

Ok, so now after a few lighter stops, we went to a small pide restaurant. Pide is a popular dish in Turkey. It is sometimes called Turkish pizza, but Turkish pizza often refers to the flat pita with a meat and tomato spread. Pide has a thicker crust, and layer with cheese and toppings like a typical pizza, and sometimes wrapped like a calzone. It is delicious. We had a veggie (which unfortunately included mushrooms to Mariah’s chagrin), and was the absolute best thing we had all day. In fact, Latif didn’t really eat all day (he tries to keep from eating too much on the tours to keep from gaining weight), but indulged here. My only regret is that I forgot to take a picture of the restaurant, and I can’t remember the name.

I don’t think she can eat any more

On the final stop, we stopped at a local ice cream chain- Mado. While a chain, this has the best ice cream according to Latif. We had some traditional Turkish ice cream, which is made thicker and richer than the American version. We were also treated to a surprise birthday cake, courtesy of Latif. SO. MUCH. FOOD. Also, I forgot that we had some delicious baklava and Turkish coffee (no, you don’t drink the grounds that are left in the cup). Latif even treated us to an extra treat of pudding made from barley/wheat topped with cinnamon and chickpeas. It was good (truly), but we could barely eat it after stuffing ourselves earlier. After the tour, we wanted to see the Taksim neighborhood, which is where Latif’s evening tour was located. So he accompanied us and gave us a few more tips. We thanked him and explored the neighborhood, including a holiday market, an orthodox Christian church, and an extremely lavish high school. Then we went up to a brewery to close out the night. If I were hungry, I would have tried a burger, because they looked delicious (the beer was decent). We called it a decently early night, but were pleasantly surprised when our hotel left us a complementary chocolate cake for Mariah’s birthday. We made room. Overall, I think we can call this a birthday success.

Just kidding - she made room

The next day, we hit up all of the hot tourist spots of the city. We went first to the Blue Mosque. The architecture is tremendous, but I feel that the lack of décor within mosques leaves them feeling empty. Outside the mosque we were harassed by a vendor who wouldn’t take no for an answer, and despite our best intentions, we admittedly fell a bit into his tourist trap and bough some spices and candies. After that annoying side quest, we went to the Hagia Sophia, which was the grand church of the Byzantine Empire in the mid-6th century, until being converted to a mosque in the Ottoman Empire. Now it is a museum, and houses the art from both eras. Additionally, there are some neat tombs for old sultans of the Ottoman Empire. Afterwards, we toured the Topkaki Palace. The palace was grand, but I’m still palace’d out. There were some beautiful views that made the entrance fee worth it, though. What I was really excited for were the city cisterns, though. These used to house the water for the whole city. It was pretty cool seeing the setting for (*spoiler*) the climax of Dan Brown’s Inferno. Finally, we walked through the Grand Bazaar, which is really a glorified flea market, before getting a small bite to eat. Oh, and we saw a surprise aqueduct along the way. Not much more going on for the rest of the evening.

Underground cisterns

Hagia Sophia

The Blue Mosque

The tombs of young princes

Alright, so now we are on to the last leg of the trip. We went to the airport to hop over to Athens… literally, we were going in a puddle hopper. I may have been in a prop plane before, but I honestly don’t remember it. I even got to have the window seat right by the engine- some cool photos ensued. We traveled with an interesting set of characters, including an American diplomat (hopefully she made some progress while she was in town).

Upon arriving in Athens, we of course went to find food. To our surprise, Turkey was really lacking solid falafel, despite being neighbored by several countries in the Mediterranean that specialize in it. That wasn’t a problem in Athens! We arrived in the afternoon, so some of the sites had closed their entrances early for winter hours. However, we still got to see some cool stuff, including the first arena for the Modern Olympic games (side note- don’t pay to go in, you can see it all from the outside). We also walked through the city garden and found a little pond with so many turtles! They had even stacked on one another- super cute. We then climbed up toward the Acropolis (but not actually to it- that would be for the next day), and watch the sun set over the city. It was gorgeous. We walked around the city a bit more, and found some awesome street art. We also found a beer bar, which had some solid brews.

First falafel!

We started the next morning with brunch! Mariah had a Greek omelet, but I tried something new. Alas, I again can’t remember the name, but it was basically orzo-esque pasta, tomato sauce, and eggs. Mix it up, and you have deliciousness on a plate. We then split Nutella stuffed pancakes. Yum! Then we went up the Acropolis. Yes, it is worth it. The views are amazing. Just check out the pics. We also went to see the agora, which is cool, but probably not entirely worth admission. BTW, despite Greece not having the best economy, they sure know how to price admission to their attractions. They take a page from Disney, and charge the maximum you’re willing to pay, cause, I mean, you’re not going to not see the Acropolis. As a side note, I was actually surprised at the number of Americans I saw around the city, considering it was Thanksgiving weekend. We got some souvlaki (basically gyros), which by now you probably know were amazing- you just have to wait in line for an hour or so before getting some.

Pretty excited about having a Greek omelette in Greece!

A view of Hadrian’s Arch and the Temple of Zeus from the Acropolis

That evening, we caught a drink in a cute coffee house that changes décor for the season. We happened to catch them as they changed for the Christmas season. The drinks were awful, but the atmosphere was really cool. We then found yet another amazing meal for dinner. This place was seriously cool, because it was a family deli with a dinner service. They not only give you free bread, but also pastrami and cheese as a free appetizer. We then ordered some dolmas (basically the first of the whole trip) and bulger salad. We also had a pastrami egg dish (well, I did) and a Greek salad. Superb! We then closed with drinks in a trendy bar called the Clumsies. My Celtic Forest drink played with my head a bit, since the ice kinda looks like seaweed.

Final baklava

A quick stop for Christmas tea

Seaweed cocktail?

The next morning, we went home. It was particularly interesting, since we (ie, the whole plane) were immediately stopped after landing by border control. This was very odd since we were traveling from one EU member country to another. Fortunately, we were able to pass with no problems (even though Mariah had to check her hand luggage at the gate so she didn’t have her passport). At least we made it back in time to join our friends for a belated Friends-giving celebration.

To say the least, this was an epic trip. Easily one of the best we’ve had. While I miss our family, and the traditional food, I loved trying out this Turkey for Thanksgiving, even if it was a bit Greece-y…

…

Ok, that was a bit much. Tot ziens for now!

#tauersgodutch #tauers go dutch #Thanksgivingturkey #turkeydayinturkey

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24hourchampagnediet-blog1 · 5 years ago

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How to Drink Alcohol on Keto

New Post has been published on https://bestrawfoodrecipes.com/how-to-drink-alcohol-on-keto/

How to Drink Alcohol on Keto

How do you know someone is on a ketogenic diet? Because they won’t quit talking about it. Especially if they’re shit-faced. Welcome to KetoDrunk, a Reddit community that currently counts over 28,000 members. Its motto: “Getting hammered while getting thin.” In this strange niche of the internet, the strictest dieters of us all try to thwart their silly, self-imposed regimens in the pursuit of a decent drink. KetoDrunk is the place where their truly hilarious hacks for low-carb mixology are tried, tested, and championed.

“I think most people drink in general, and some people find it hard to give up that last indulgence, as they have already given up so many hedonistic pleasures from their unhealthier lifestyles before,” says Daniel Wiseman, the group’s founder. He started KetoDrunk in 2013, just as the nearly century-old, high fat, very-low-carb diet was again becoming trendy. These new adopters of keto were questioning what they were actually allowed to imbibe, and Wiseman hoped to help them.

“You decided you want washboard abs and SWEET GAINS but also want to get crunk,” he wrote in his welcome message to the group. “Are these goals mutually exclusive?”

If you know anything about keto, you know followers are supposed to eschew carbs. If you know anything about alcohol, you’ve probably noticed it’s completely packed with carbs—malty beers, fruity wines, and all those $15 cocktails loaded with juices and syrups and sometimes straight scoops of granulated sugar. As Wiseman explains, however, it’s pretty simple for him to drink while sticking to his diet, assuming you understand the lingo: “A ketogenic diet is one that puts you into a state of ketosis, and most people find that alcohol does not inhibit ketone production,” he says. (In plain English: So long as he doesn’t drink any carbs that would kick him out of the metabolic state of ketosis, he’s cool.)

Kahlúa won’t work for a keto-friendly White Russian. But sugar-free coffee syrup will.

Esquire

Wiseman drinks straight whiskey, which he prefers neat, favoring brands like Booker’s and Four Roses Single Barrel. Even though whiskey is made from grains, once you distill a spirit it becomes 100-percent carb-free. Any unflavored spirit (gin, vodka, tequila, etc.) works for KetoDrunk, though be careful of rum, a poorly regulated category notorious for being secretly dosed with sugar. As with any diet, cognitive dissonance is also helpful.

“I believe the reason [Captain Morgan] has a sweet taste to it is because of the hydrocarbons released during the barrel aging,” said one commenter who really wanted to drink the spiced rum in peace.

For most people, pounding tequila shots is not an enjoyable way to spend a Saturday night. That’s why Wiseman also maintains a lengthy line of bitters bottles at home, allowing him to splash some of the carb-free ingredient into his whiskey to manipulate flavor, something he also does with MiO, a water enhancer offered in flavors like berry pomegranate and mango peach. Not that he usually needs it.

“[M]any people will find that their taste buds become more sensitive to the sweetness naturally found in alcohols and the addition of any sweet component is unnecessary,” he wrote on the subreddit.

“Some people find it hard to give up that last indulgence, as they have already given up so many hedonistic pleasures from their unhealthier lifestyles before.”

Other KetoDrunk practitioners are more adventurous, often looking for acceptable analogs to iconic cocktails. The biggest problem for keto mixology is that most of these necessitate a sweetener like simple syrup. Unfortunately, simple syrup—a 1-to-1 blend of sugar and water—has around 28 grams of carbs per ounce, which is more than most keto dieters aim to consume in an entire day.

“My coworkers and I are probably going out to drinks later in the week at a really fancy, upscale cocktail place downtown,” one commenter fretted. “Would it be super weird to order those cocktails that include sugar…without sugar? I can bring along some of my own Stevia too if I find I need it.”

The group is always looking for sugar-free cocktail sweeteners, utilizing ones you’ve heard of like Stevia and Splenda, and ones you probably haven’t, like allulose, erythritol, and something called Swerve to make their own faux simple syrups. (These can have a thin mouthfeel, so some followers add egg whites for extra body—which gives you protein to boot!) There are some store-brand options like NuNaturals and Simply Simple Sugar Free Simple Syrup, but you really have to read the labels; though they may be listed as “sugar-free,” Wiseman warns that some have “carbohydrate-laden ingredients such as maltodextrin,” and that’s no good.

While certain cocktails like, say, the Manhattan are nearly impossible to make keto-friendly—there’s no good substitute for sweet vermouth—others are a cinch. Easy highballs like G&Ts and Moscow Mules are popular; just use diet tonic or ginger beer, natch. So are Whiskey Sours and Margaritas, so long as you make them with sugar-free triple sec. Since calories from fat are actually desirable on a ketogenic diet, you can have a “Keto Colada” made with coconut vodka, heavy whipping cream, and pineapple seltzer. Even better, a 1,000-calorie Mudslide made with vodka, Ketologie chocolate shake mix, erythritol, almond milk, and heavy cream. “Jesus. That’s ridiculous,” as one commenter said.

Grenadine is packed with carbs, but you can make an alternative with Diet Ocean Spray.

Esquire

The White Russian seems to be the unofficial cocktail of KetoDrunk, with members constantly attempting their take on The Dude’s favorite drink—it’s quite easy to make delicious. A typical go might use sugar-free coffee syrup, nut milk, heavy cream, and vodka. (The verdict: “fuckin great!”) An advanced attempt opts for a butter- and chocolate chip-infused vodka shaken with heavy cream and homemade coffee liqueur, with pink Himalayan salt on the rim for added electrolytes. Despite all that effort to get loaded, one unimpressed Reddit commenter could only reply: “Help me understand if I’m wrong, but [a chocolate chip] uses soy lecithin and I thought that isn’t good for keto.”

Yes, a constant trope on KetoDrunk is that even when you’re buzzed and feeling good, you can still be a pedant—as big a hallmark of following this diet as subbing in a side salad instead of french fries. KetoDrunk is likewise surely the only drinking forum on the internet that has deep arguments about things like “gluconeogenesis” and “autophagy.” (Don’t ask.)

The group has even spawned its own cocktail book: Ke-Tiki: The Keto & Low-Carb Guide to Tiki Drinks by Jason Gawron, an Atlanta-area man and formerly overweight tiki enthusiast. Tiki drinks are notoriously some of the most keto-unfriendly cocktails around, laden with sugars, syrups, and fruit juices—as in, “the majority of ingredients found in the tiki drinks I had come to love,” Gawron writes in the book’s intro. Remarkably, he figured out how to make keto-kind versions of everything from the Mai Tai to the Fog Cutter to the typically sugar-packed Zombie, for which he swaps in crystalized citrus powder instead of lime juice and makes a grenadine using Diet Ocean Spray Cran-Pomegranate juice.

No, ke-tiki cocktails don’t taste as good as legit tiki. “But the way I see it, close enough is better than no tiki at all,” Gowran tells me.

Of course, when you’re attempting KetoDrunk, you will have to go without some things you used to love. Many in the group lament the lack of a truly tasty low-carb beer, forced to drink the watery Michelob Ultra. Many instead opt for low-carb alcoholic seltzer or Nude (essentially a vodka soda) when they desire a canned crusher.

“The way I see it, close enough is better than no tiki at all.”

But you can honestly drink anything on KetoDrunk, so long as your body remains in ketosis. Ketosis means that, due to a lack of carb-created glucose, your body instead burns stored fat, which creates an elevated level of acids in your system called ketones. Gawron monitors his ketone levels by bringing testing strips out to the bar, which he urinates on to make sure what he’s drinking hasn’t “knocked him out” of ketosis. Some KetoDrunk enthusiasts don’t find the strips reliable enough, however (and yeah, you might not want to be peeing toward your hand while buzzed). Wiseman simply pricks his blood in the morning to see if enough ketones are present. “Anyone completely altering their metabolism and still consuming alcohol needs to be aware that things change,” he says.

So, exactly how drunk do people get on KetoDrunk? There seem to be two vastly divergent camps. You would expect that, lacking a solid base of bread in the belly, many keto drinkers would immediately become lightweights—“zero to absolutely trashed,” as one commenter said. And some do.

Beer is often high in carbs, so some opt for spiked seltzer to get KetoDrunk.

Esquire

“The other pattern is that people will achieve a sort of plateau of inebriation where two drinks and seven drinks feel the exact same, but that eighth drink just lays them down like a sucker punch,” says Wiseman. He theorizes that the neuroprotective effects of deep ketosis, which studies have found to reduce seizures in children and Alzheimer’s in old people, may also “work” for preventing the feeling of drunkenness. This theory is unproven. Gawron, for his part, finds he can often drink all night long and never get loaded.

Some keto dieters find drinking is no longer fun at all.

“When I drink on carbs, the music sounds 1000 [times] better,” lamented one KetoDrunk commenter, with another describing the feeling of being drunk on keto as “less euphoric and more intoxicated.” A third said, “Basically it just makes me sleepy.”

If only sleepiness were the most pressing issue. There are some bigger health concerns to contend with as well. Bad breath is one, as ketosis causes acetone production; you might want to bring sugar-free mints on your Tinder date. Rashes are likely, too. Bloating is also possible, a common side effect of overconsumption of natural sweeteners. But dehydration is the biggest concern, as people on keto store less water than someone eating SAD (their somewhat derisive acronym for the “Standard American Diet”). Plus, alcohol is a diuretic, which causes many people to flush all the electrolytes from their body after a night of hard boozing. This often manifests itself in severe leg and foot cramping.

“I woke up this morning yelling out of pain and my roommate ran in the room to check on me,” complained a rare woman in the group; a sympathetic commenter revealed that cramps kept hitting him during post-bar coitus.

That’s why many KetoDrunk practitioners have started to chug pickle juice once they get home for the night. Others start electrolyte-loading while drinking, using pickle juice as their mixer—Tito’s vodka and pickle juice on ice is particularly popular. Stranger, perhaps, is the pickle juice Daiquiri, a mix of brine, lime juice, and rum, which you can garnish with a bread-and-butter slice when you’re feeling snazzy. (Pickle juice has not been conclusively proven to be an effective source of electrolytes.)

Wiseman appeases his drunchies with butter on cheese. We cannot recommend this.

Esquire

If you have the willpower to be KetoDrunk, there’s still the concern about what to eat for KetoDrunk food. Pizza and nachos are obviously off the table. Pork rinds and unsauced chicken wings are a great option, as are bunless burgers and crustless pizza, where browned mozzarella acts as the bottom layer.

“If I’ve had a few drinks on a fasted stomach, you may find me spreading butter on a slice of cheddar cheese,” Wiseman tells me.

Even KetoDrunk’s most monk-like followers know the other shoe is all but guaranteed to drop the next day, no matter what they ate or drank the night before. No, not in the form of weight gain, but as one of the apparently legendary hangovers you can only get while on keto, which some practitioners say last up to three days. “The headaches are like nothing else I’ve experienced,” said one dieter on the forum, while another said they frequently found themselves “wishing for the sweet release of death to put me out of my misery.”

One KetoDrunk enthusiast offered yet another hack, this one to get around the hangovers: “I usually just drink 1-2 Nuun caplets dissolved in some water throughout the night. And a ton of blow,” this commenter wrote. “Usually wake up feeling like a billion bucks.”

Aaron Goldfarb Aaron Goldfarb lives in Brooklyn and is a novelist and the author of ‘Hacking Whiskey.’

Source link Keto Diet Effects

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fuckyeahtattoogirls-blog1 · 5 years ago

Text

How to Drink Alcohol on Keto

New Post has been published on https://bestrawfoodrecipes.com/how-to-drink-alcohol-on-keto/

How to Drink Alcohol on Keto

“You decided you want washboard abs and SWEET GAINS but also want to get crunk,” he wrote in his welcome message to the group. “Are these goals mutually exclusive?”

Kahlúa won’t work for a keto-friendly White Russian. But sugar-free coffee syrup will.

Esquire

“Some people find it hard to give up that last indulgence, as they have already given up so many hedonistic pleasures from their unhealthier lifestyles before.”

Grenadine is packed with carbs, but you can make an alternative with Diet Ocean Spray.

Esquire

No, ke-tiki cocktails don’t taste as good as legit tiki. “But the way I see it, close enough is better than no tiki at all,” Gowran tells me.

“The way I see it, close enough is better than no tiki at all.”

Beer is often high in carbs, so some opt for spiked seltzer to get KetoDrunk.

Esquire

Some keto dieters find drinking is no longer fun at all.

Wiseman appeases his drunchies with butter on cheese. We cannot recommend this.

Esquire

“If I’ve had a few drinks on a fasted stomach, you may find me spreading butter on a slice of cheddar cheese,” Wiseman tells me.

Aaron Goldfarb Aaron Goldfarb lives in Brooklyn and is a novelist and the author of ‘Hacking Whiskey.’

Source link Keto Diet Effects

0 notes

pussymagicuniverse · 5 years ago

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warmary

essay by marina manoukian

alright. we’re going to talk about typhoid mary. one last time, i promise.

it was not mary’s fault that her body was hospitable. it was not mary’s fault that there was no cure.

she wasn’t discovered as a fluke. an epidemic fighter by the name of george a. soper, who was investigating the outbreak at oyster bay, tracked her down. her work as a cook wasn’t directly her downfall either, for almost everything she handled would be exposed to high temperatures thus killing the bacteria. instead it was a frozen dessert “which Mary prepared and of which everybody present was extremely fond. This was ice-cream with fresh peaches cut up and frozen in it.” in the beginning there is always a woman and a piece of fruit. whether an apple, a pomegranate, or a peach. an ovarian symmetry persists in propagation.

mary didn’t believe that which she could not see. in her defence, what would you do if a man showed up at your door demanding samples of piss and shit and blood, insistent that you were an accomplice to a crime, unwitting or not.

soper kept tracking mary down. she was increasingly bullish and refused to acknowledge any part in the infection. soper called mary a proved menace to the community. mary retorted that there had been no more typhoid where she was than anywhere else. there was typhoid fever everywhere. the department of health and the police hunted her down. after administering the tests and fully confirming her role as a carrier, she persisted in her denial while they forced her confinement.

after suing for her release three years later she was freed on the grounds that she cease working as a cook. she did not abide by these stipulations. “none of the other limited range of domestic jobs available to a woman in 1910 paid as well as cooking, and working conditions for laundresses and factory workers were much tougher.” when she couldn’t work as a cook she had no home. without other means she continued to work continued to cook continued to infect.

when soper discovered her once more she was again sent to north brother island. this time there was less of a struggle.

she never fully admitted that she agreed with the diagnosis but the fact that enough around her accepted it meant that perhaps she could no longer go about her life in the usual fashion.

no one came to her aid while she was sick and no one came to claim the small sum she left behind. for all intensive care purposes she was alone.

it’s funny that we don’t have other accounts of asymptomatic carriers of the like. then again, how can we expect others to self-report an unrecognizable lack.

consider war as a disease. it spreads from one to another while borders are shut hoping to keep out the infection hoping to contain peace. those considered to be instigators are shut up and isolated.

consider that war is self-induced. a mass hysteria of its own. an auto-immune condition that erupts from within.

“war is a disease, a disease not of individuals, but of countries.” this metaphor is neither new nor controversial. but often it is treated as an inevitably malady, something to be contained and limited but unavoidable. laying skeletons and genes bare to decode a resistance to nature while unable to ascribe a resistance to ourselves.

almost everyone is a warmary. asymptomatic carriers who go about their daily business because their own personal lives aren’t interrupted by the sickness. never mind the fact that it is often those daily habits that contribute to the suffering of others, whether witnessed or not.

what would it mean to stop that spread of transmission? how can a sickness that ripples through us all be contained? such questions reveal the limits of the metaphor as well as of our own coping mechanisms.

carrying it within ourselves the potential to spread to aggravate is great. typhoid mary persisted with her habits because it was all she knew. other options were more difficult. they always are.

we have to question the systems that keep us entrenched in asymptomatic warfare.

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metaphors can easily be stretched thin, like butter scraped over too much bread. metaphors can spread like an infection, drawing dangerously false equivalences like the recent economist article that i will not dignify with a link. or become kindling to inflame without elaboration for the sake of a buzzing headline.

war on a virus is proclaimed, willfully oblivious to the fact that a virus cannot sign a peace treaty. aiming for an annihilation of the abstract regardless of the bodies that lie in the wake. bodies are just carriers, patients made culpable by their visibility.

so of what use is this warmary analogy when nothing is quite like another and straws grasped at are hollow nonetheless. perhaps the appeal lies in its ability to reveal complicity without malice. a banality of evil that is at once benign and malignant like a cancer cell who claims it’s just trying to survive like all the rest. but what’s to be gained from acting like there’s opposing sides when there’s only one body.

marina manoukian is a reader and writer and collage artist. she currently resides in berlin while she studies and works. she likes honey and she loves bees. you can find more of her words and images at marinamanoukian.com or twitter/instagram at @crimeiscommon.

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