#i finallyyy answered this and i'm sorry for taking so long

[arkashas]

tbh will not loving hannibal but desiring him and being conflicted about his attraction to him - in every sense of the situation here seems not impossible. After all bedalia was emphasising how hannibal was deep distracted by him but he seems to be more simmering in rage and vengeance for having been seduced and letting his shell of humanity die out

sorry anon, I disagree. and i'm going to get in depth into why i disagree. verrry in depth. first we gotta examine the whole show through a narrative lens.

it's hammered into us the whole show that hannibal and will are mirror images of each other. and that's also true for the respective arcs/journeys they each undergo.

take for example, season 1 and season 2. season 1 is about will allowing hannibal to see him and being manipulated and betrayed by hannibal. season 2 is about hannibal allowing will to see him and then being manipulated and betrayed by will. season 3 is actually two seasons condensed into one, because the show was cancelled and they didn't have the budget to stretch the whole thing into two seasons. that means season 3a and season 3b follow the same formula as season 1 and season 2, with the two seasons being reflections of each other.

season 3a is the season where hannibal tries to live without will, and fails. he absconds with bedelia, then slowly realises his life is empty without will and tries to get him back. but, at the same time, he also realizes how terrifying his love for will is for him, because it causes him to "betray" himself, i.e. lose the control he's always had over his emotions and his life, and this is terrifying to someone like hannibal.

dolce is the episode where both hannibal and will want separation from each other for different reasons. hannibal because as stated, will upended his life and makes him lose control, and will because his magnetic attraction to hannibal makes him feel and act like a murderer, as chiyoh helps him understand.

it's hannibal who almost succeeds in this when he saws open will's head, but he's interrupted by mason verger. later at the verger estate, when alana sets him free, hannibal still has an opportunity to let will die and save his own life. and he doesn't take it. he chooses to save will, mowing down like 13 of mason's associates to get him. he risks getting caught tucking him into bed, and then gives up his freedom for will.

all of this is hannibal making a decisive choice. it's him realising will is more important to him than anything else in his life. remember what he says to dolarhyde about reba?

he's talking from experience. he's no longer worried about feeling love for will, he wants him alive. because will is more important to him than his self control, than his comfort, than his luxuries, than his freedom. everything.

so that was hannibal's attempt at rejecting his feelings for will and then him subsequently giving in to his feelings for will. a self contained arc within the show.

as I mentioned, hannibal and will are on twin journeys, which means will will follow the same arc as hannibal.

just like how hannibal runs off with bedelia, will marries molly, but he's unfulfilled and secretly longs for more. will giving up his perfect life of fishing and dogs and choosing to go back to the "madness" hannibal warns him about in his letter mirrors hannibal getting fed up of his perfect life in florence of art and dinner parties and wrecking it in favour of will's company.

will's attempt at killing hannibal was stopped by chiyoh, just like how hannibal's attempt at killing will was stopped by mason. so will trying to get hannibal killed at dolarhyde's hands is the actual attempt at separation that mirrors hannibal having an opportunity to let will get killed by mason and cordell, and just like hannibal tried to kill will because he makes him "betray himself", will tries to kill hannibal because, once again, he was sucked into hannibal's orbit, and that led to the attack on molly and walter and chilton's immolation. hannibal brings out the "enemy inside" that will tries so hard to repress.

and finally, will saving hannibal from dolarhyde mirrors hannibal saving will from mason and cordell.

WHICH MEANS, in TWOTL, will is now at that stage hannibal arrived at in digestivo. where he's no longer worrying about his love for hannibal, and is choosing to have him alive. when hannibal asks him, "save yourself, kill them all?" he answers with this:

this quote is further put into context by what will says to hannibal in su-zakana:

will doesn't know if he can be saved from being who hannibal perceives him to be - a killer. in a more literal way, he's also saying he doesn't know if he can kill hannibal and dolarhyde to save himself from hannibal's influence and from certain death at dolarhyde's hands. and he says, maybe that's just fine. when he saves hannibal from dolarhyde, kills dolarhyde together with hannibal, and goes over the cliff with hannibal, he's made a choice. it's no longer a maybe. he's accepted he can't live without hannibal and be without him. he's given in. he's given up everything for hannibal just as hannibal did for him.

and when he killed dolarhyde with hannibal, that was the greatest moment of will's life. will finally understand what hannibal wanted to show him all along - and he says it's beautiful. is he mad his humanity died out? well yeah, but he's never felt this fulfilled. it's something worth giving up his humanity for. will also can't really stay mad at hannibal, no matter how hard he tries, and in TWOTL i never got the sense he was simmering with anger and hatred. all i see from him is resignation. and finally, relief and acceptance.

so at the end of season 3, will has realised he can't kill hannibal by proxy - he couldn't watch hannibal get killed by dolarhyde. he can't kill hannibal with his own hands - he tried in dolce, it failed, and the whole reason he co-opted dolarhyde into his plans was because he knew he wouldn't be able to finish the job personally. he couldn't even keep away from hannibal while hannibal was in prison, which was an attempt at separation without having to kill hannibal.

the cliff dive becomes will's last and final attempt at separation, and since it's confirmed they live, he no longer has other choices open to him. all that's left is making peace with his love for hannibal and trying to build a life with him. which is what season 4 would have been about, will diving headlong into his life with hannibal and whatever it entails. and given how fuller and co. have spoken about that season, the plot seems to be about will's mind fracturing and possibly entering alternate realities to deal with the murder husband identity while he's on the run with hannibal. and season 5 is when will is apparently happy, so I think they're somehow going to reconcile will's darker side with his lighter side. somehow!

I think I went off on a tangent here, but this is why will continuing to fight his feelings for hannibal, resenting him and trying to kill him, etc. doesn't make sense to me post season 3. it would be played out. it would be frustrating when we've already seen 3 seasons of will denying hannibal and himself. and lastly and most importantly, it wouldn't fit the narrative arc set up.

remember, hannibal never diverts after he gives in to his feelings for will. he doesn't hurt will again even when will threatens his sense of control (except emotionally) - he sends dolarhyde to the cabin when will isn't home. he agrees to the plan to fake his escape even while expressing doubts to alana about his own safety and telling jack he's aware will will wreak vengeance on him as the lamb of god. he let's will threaten him with getting killed by dolarhyde and doesn't do anything when he's shot until will makes a move himself.

so that's why i don't agree with hugh dancy that will wasn't motivated by being in love with hannibal in season 3, whether he meant that will wasn't aware of the love, whether will wasn't acting on the love, or whether will wasn't accepting of the love. will's own words and actions show he is aware of his feelings for hannibal, at least by TWOTL. will leaving everything in his life behind to bring about hannibal's escape, saving him from dolarhyde, and then embracing him and going over the cliff is him acting on that love and him accepting that love.

you can't say "will was on a personal journey, realising things about himself, and that was more important than his relationship with hannibal" because will's relationship with hannibal is will's relationship with his darkness and desires. you can't separate the two of them.

[lia-jones]

hello again lia! how have you been? from the time i'm writing this, it'll be just a few days until you get your much needed rest, so i'm looking forward to that for you! you'll also be pleased to find out that our birthdays are just a few days apart! mine is june 16th, so it's just a five day difference! also, i finallyyy got time to read your latest chapter, and oh my gosh, it's fantabulous! this chapter was probably my favorite so far, and you're always so good at getting your reader to feel what you're characters are feeling! i'm very excited to see what'll take place next.

now i have some more questions for you: 1. what's your favorite writing/fanfic trope? 2. what's your favorite flower? 3. favorite part of your personality? 4. if you had to have an evol, what would it be? 5. how do you deal with stress? 6. if you could eat only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? 7. favorite local cuisine?

ok, that's it for now! once again, i'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with next (and, just a heads-up, i'm almost always looking for inspiration to share with you - i just haven't come up with anything solid yet, but i promise that when i do, you'll love it!) bye for now! i'm really looking forward to hearing from you! - 🌸 anon

Hello wonderful person!

Sorry it took me so long to reply, but my last day of work was last Saturday and I felt like I had to force myself a bit away from the laptop, and it actually did wonders! I took my notebook anyway and did some writing and it was awesome! And... I'm on vacay!!!! Yes! Freedom! June 16th, so cool, a fellow Gemini! I will not forget! I'm so happy you loved the chapter! Now the pressure is on, I hope I can keep up with the quality and I'm so glad I could convey what Andrea was feeling (and you'll see why in the next chapters).

Ok, now to your questions:

1. what's your favorite writing/fanfic trope?

That's a hard one to answer, I kind of like them all, if well written. However, I tend to lean towards angst, but relatable angst. Give me the strong absolutely controlled man falling apart, the damsel in distress that learns how to fend for herself, trauma being healed, parents at the verge of a breakdown, being affected by small things like dirty dishes. Give me the love that doesn't conquer all, that has doubts, that faulters, because we are human. Give me the villain that will put the gun down because even madness has limits. Or the villain whose anger is perfectly justified, even though his actions are vile. I'm a sucker for that. And now I'm curious, what are yours?

2. what's your favorite flower?

Wildflowers, any kind. The kind that grows willingly in nature just make my world more beautiful, just because. Other than that... peonies. :D

3. favorite part of your personality?

Loyal. Ready to help, hug or dish out a healthy dose of tough love. But always there. I would also love to see your answer to this question. :)

4. if you had to have an evol, what would it be?

I would love to dream at will and control my dreams. To go inside Victor and Andrea's world and observe them, or just travel to other dimensions, or simply have a talk with the people I miss. A more mainstream one I would like is teleportation. Yours?

5. how do you deal with stress?

It depends on my stress levels. I actually deal with anxiety (remnants of my childhood), but I don't think other people deal with it the same way as I do. Firstly because I never feel how bad I am when I'm under pressure, it's always after, when I'm able to relax. Even at work, the company may be on fire, and I'll be cool as a cucumber, saving the day, only to collapse at my doorstep. I usually vent, or distract myself with writing, or go for a walk. If it's really bad, I need to isolate myself and mentally check out, either by sleeping or by doing something very immersive (like watching a movie, cooking an elaborate dish...).

6. if you could eat only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Sushi. I was going to say eggs, but that would be so unhealthy. Sushi can have veggies and it's delicious, so sushi.

7. favorite local cuisine? Japanese. I love how simple and simultaneously complex Japanese cooking can be. And their flavors, usually so fresh and perfumed, I love it. Portuguese is a very close second. Really, Portuguese food is sooooo good, from fish to pork, we have all these delicacies that are to die for! I would like to know what you thought about my Keeper's Journal additions. Did you see that coming? Can you guess where it goes? I'm trying to add some mistery to the story, let me know if it's interesting or if it's getting boring. I loved hearing from you, it's always a very special part of my week. I hope your Easter was good (if you celebrate it). Lots of love!