#i finally finished all my midterms yeet

[bukojuiice]

ʚ  Midoriya, Bakugo, and Todoroki cramming school works with their S/O  ɞ *‧.₊˚*੭*ˊᵕˋ੭.*

izuku, katsuki, and shoto x gn! reader  ♡ 

｡⋆ʚ♡⃛ɞ These are some extremely self-indulgent hcs LMAO i’m currently consumed by a lot of school works and extracurricular activities, so i decided to take the time and write some of these up! this the first batch of hcs i’ve ever made so i hope you bear with some errors! i hope you enjoy!

hopefully i get to write more about the other bnha bois/girls soon so please also stay tuned for that!

if you like to see more from me, i have an ongoing bakugo x fem reader! smau called cuddle buddy! read it here!  ( ु•⌄• )  

✧ Izuku is very smart and hardworking so you’ve barely seen him cram any school work or tasks since the two of you started going out.

✧ Soft bby boi knows how to balance his workload from school whilst still being able to spend time with you.

✧ Now here were the two of you, partners for a huge science project that would serve as your midterms for the subject.

✧  Both of you were tasked to take care of two chicken eggs and treat them as your children. Draw faces on them, make them wear clothes, give them names and describe their personalities... literally treating them like actual babies.

✧ You were whining about it at first because it felt like an elementary project instead of something first year high school students (and those in the hero program for that matter) would do.

✧ Izuku remained positive however and reassured you that it was going to be a lot of fun.

✧ You were still salty and unimpressed by the project, but you couldn’t help but melt because of how cute Izuku was and how excited he was for this task. He really wanted to spend a lot of time with you and he was so so happy that you two were partnered for this project.

✧ Because it was midterms week, you were swarmed with tons and tons of stuff to do, so the two of you decided to finish everything else first then deal with the science project at the end of the week because it was the “easiest”. Boy.. were the both of you so so wrong.

✧ Izuku goes up to your room in the dorm so that the both of you can work on the project quietly, yet as he enters, he sees you panicking and running around the room, your camera hanging around your neck, holding two half-cracked eggs with weirdly sewn clothes and faces that looked like they were scribbled from sharpies.

✧ “Izu-kun... can you help me take pictures of our kids for the baby photobook? 

✧ He was about to faint on the spot from fantasizing about his future with you. 

✧ “Of course! hand me All Might Jr. first so you can take a picture of his cute little sister!” 

✧  Yes, your first born eggo is named after All Might. It was Izuku’s decision and you wanted to support him.

✧ You spent all day taking pictures, printing them, designing them and pasting them on the photo album. It was finally nighttime and the both of you are terribly exhausted and mentally drained.

✧ You and Izuku had creative minds so you were able to create the perfect photo album.

✧ Several hours have passed and Izuku still can’t stop thinking of the future he was going to have with you. What a cutie.

✧  After submitting and passing the photobook to the drop box Ilda left in the living room, Izuku goes up again to your room and is surprised by the sight of you sleeping soundly on your bed.

✧ He comes up to you, kisses your forehead and whispers these soft words to you:

✧ “I can’t wait to tell our future kids how I met you.” 

✧ Bakugo Katsuki has never crammed a school work or project in his entire life.

✧ You on the other hand, procrastinated a lot, yet could still pass tasks on time. Although, Katsuki still reprimands you for it. Calling you “dumb butt” instead of the usual name callings he uses whenever talking to your classmates which is “dumb ass” 

✧ He is your boyfriend so it’s not that much of a surprise, it’s just that you’re a bit shocked that he would be really really soft on you. It’s such a sweet gesture though.

✧ After binging a entire series on Netflix the other day, and because he couldn’t resist your pleas of begging him to watch this show with you, it completely slipped from the both of your minds that you had a dance project to work on for your Physical Education class.

✧  You immediately panicked, and Bakugo began to show his usual hot-headed side of him and scolded you for it. Despite him forgetting about it too.

✧ The two of you were going to film yourselves dancing to the Cha Cha dance style and you had a day to create the raw video without edits.

✧  You suggested that the two of you practice by uploading your videos to Tiktok and ask for advice from the professionals who posted their videos there too

✧ “Katsuki-kun do you think we should upload our videos to Tiktok?”

✧  “Absolutely fucking not.”  

✧ After watching a few beginner dance practice videos on Youtube, Katsuki immediately got the hang of it.

✧ Your man had the moves. He really was good at everything.

✧ You couldn’t help but stare at him as he continues to sway and follow the steps without missing a beat.

✧ Bakugo smirks at you, “Like what you see?”

✧ “Get your mind out of the gutter.” You threw a pillow at him as his tease came out of nowhere. 

✧  Since you were quite a slow-learner, it took a few hours before you got the hang of the first routine.

✧ In those few hours, you probably have stepped on Bakugo’s toes a few hundred times and a few hundred fucks were cursed out of his mouth every time it happened.

✧  He was still patient with you though in his own little way. Constantly scolding you every time you made a mistake, but never made you feel guilty for it. 

✧ You were able to finish recording the raw video by evening. A few hours to spare before the deadline. Either way,  the both of you were exhausted when the adrenaline finally died down. 

✧ “I can’t wait to dance with you again like this. Maybe Waltz or Ballroom next time?”

✧ “You’re a shitty dancer so don’t expect it to happen anytime soon.”

✧ “Then again, I’m dancing with you. So it doesn’t matter if you’re bad. The important thing is, it’s going to be special since I’m with you.”

✧ And at that moment, you could feel your heart explode from all these soft emotions.

✧ Shoto was naturally smart. He could finish a lot of tasks in a few hours without getting distracted. That was his strategy ever since he was in Elementary. Getting things done right away and getting flawless remarks and grades on them.

✧ But ever since the two of you got together, he insisted that the two of you would do your school works together. So, every night, whenever there was homework, you would immediately yeet over to Shoto’s room to answer the tasks with him.

✧ It’s really cute. Not only do the two of you get to bond together but, you were helping each other too. It was the ideal relationship.

✧ Shoto is very particular with a lot of fancy things, so he even has this humidifier in his room with your favorite scent so that the both of you can calmly continue your work.  He even has a comforter sprawled upon the floor so that you could sit comfortably. How sweet of him ;w; 

✧ This time around though, the two of you were partnered up for  to answer a elaborate math problem that you were going to present the next day. 

✧ You exceled in your subjects with Math being your weakest point, sometimes even getting unfavorable grades on the subject. Shoto was the exact opposite though. Which wasn’t surprising because he needed to be good for his quirk. How far his fire can go, the trajectory of his ice and all that jazz. 

✧  He wasn’t disappointed that he was partnered with you for this though, despite it being your weakness. In fact he couldn’t be happier. As long as he was spending time with you. 

✧ After reading through the problem and finding the formula, you were already stressed out. Todoroki took notice of this immediately and decided that the two of you should take a break first. He brings you to the convenience store near the dorm. Your hand holding his as he tells you that you could buy any snack you want.

✧ Using his father’s credit card of course.

✧ After coming back from the store, the two of you decided to head straight back to the math problem. It was very very complicated,  especially since the two of you had to divide the work because it was required for the project for the two of you to evenly contribute to it. It was a math problem your braincells couldn’t take anymore.

✧ “Shoto-kun, I can’t take this anymoreee.” You whined, resting your head on his shoulder.

✧ “Come on (Y/N), just a little bit more. We’re almost finished.”

✧  Shoto was finished with his part of the solution, while you were still struggling. It took the whole night to do so but you were able to answer it eventually.

✧  The next day, it was finally time for the presentation. Shoto was able to present his solution perfectly, while you had some slip-ups and mistakes here and there. The both of you didn’t get a good grade because of that... but to him, it didn’t matter.

✧ “I’m sorry for dragging you into this. It’s my fault we got a bad grade.”

✧ “It’s alright (Y/N). It doesn’t matter. As long as I get to experience something different with you and spend time with you every single day, I’m happy and contented. 

✧ You were so blessed to have someone like Todoroki Shoto in your life. What did you to deserve such a precious and kind boyfriend?

-End.  ♡‧₊˚

[haikyuucute]

i found this one a/b/o prompt: drunk one nightstand with accidental bonding or mating marks? any character is fine! (・∀・)

Lmao if you give me the freedom to choose any character I will, without a doubt, choose Kuroo 100% of the time.

This takes place in college btw, enjoy~

—

Your body ached and head pounded before you could even open your eyes. You couldn’t even think, all you wanted was to go back to sleep and stay asleep forever.

But the ruffling you heard beside you had you on high alert and you were quick to sit up and view what had caused the noise.

You stopped, mouth falling open in shock as the attractive masculine smell of the alpha beside you finally registered in your mind.

But that didn’t stop your pounding headache as you clutched it in your hands, trying to remember what had happened last night.

You recalled going to a party with your friends— midterms had just finished and you all thought it would be a good idea— you remembered drinking a lot, and everything from there was fuzzy.

But two things were sure.

You weren’t in your own dorm and you were laying naked next to this alpha you vaguely recognized.

Fuck, fuck, fuck—

You slipped out of his bed as quietly as you could, spotting your discarded dress on the floor, along with your heels and purse.

You rushed to get your dress on, despite your aching limbs, as quietly as you could, hoping not to wake the alpha and do your walk of shame in peace.

You slung your purse over your shoulder and snatched up your heels, deciding not to waste time by putting them on and instead heading for his door.

But on your way out, something caught your eye.

You paused briefly as you caught your reflection in a mirror.

Then... you froze.

Your heels fell from your grip in a loud clatter on the floor, waking up the sleeping alpha— but you couldn’t care less right now.

You approached the mirror, disbelief etched onto your face, as you raised a hand to touch your neck.

From only a few feet away the alpha had sat up, blinking and clutching his head from his own headache before his eyes landed on you.

He furrowed his eyebrows in complete disbelief— did he— had he managed to sleep with you last night? He had gone to the party last night in hopes of finally approaching and talking to you— the pretty omega he had admired every time he had math, seeing as you both shared the class. But had he actually gone farther with you?

But that was when he finally took notice of the look of complete and utter horror on your face, and when he located what had caused such a look on your pretty features, his stomach sank.

”(L/N)—“

You spun on your heel and faced him, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. And the look broke his heart, guilt immediately eating away at him.

”Y-you marked me,” voicing it out loud had made the tears fall.

”(L/N) I—“ Kuroo stumbled to get out of bed, but upon realizing he was completely naked, he stayed put. “I’m sorry— I was drunk,” he rushed out in a panic.

”So?” You hissed, making him flinch, “Plenty of alpha’s have drunk one night stands and don’t mark their partners— I won’t be able to find a mate— my friends are gonna see this— my parents— I don’t even know you— fuck, I’m gonna be sick,” you panicked, your mind reeling.

”Kuroo Tetsurou.”

”What?” You snapped.

”You said you didn’t know me, I’m Kuroo... from math...” he mumbled, ignoring the sting from you not remembering him.

So that was where you recognized him from.

You shook your head in disbelief, “I need to get out of here,” you rushed, reaching for your shoes again.

His eyes widened, stuck in his spot as he was still nude, watching as you reached his door.

”Wait, (L/N)— I’m sorry! Can we talk about this!?” He called after you in exasperation.

”Fuck off!” Was all he received as his door shut.

He sat with widened eyes— not only had he just ruined his chances with you, but he had simultaneously ruined you.

”Fuck me.”

—

Omegaverse Taglist:

—couldn’t tag bolded—

@shiguraaa @tycrackculture @kynyta @cuddlesslut @icedhoneygreentea @yams046 @cutepet09 @kkimoka @elegant-gypsophilia @mrkoala4prsdnt @sapphy-taffy6969 @yougivemebutterfliess @melanieacademy @yeet-these-hoez @nekomasmeow @thirsthourdemon @nekoma-hoe @curiouslilbeast @badboysdoitbetter2 @nervousenergyy @coupsieddori @mizuchan24-blog @ly-nia

[messyliferip]

JUST FINISHED ALL MY MIDTERMS OF SECOND YEAR AT MEDICAL SCHOOL!!! 🥳🥳🥳 honestly they last test totally sucked (histology lab) especially compared to physio lab which was Godsent but you know you reap what you sow. I studied the slides and totally missed and didnt study the stains like an idiot, i seriously had no idea that half of the freaking test was gonna be on stains, i literally only remembered H&E, sudan orange, and silver stain. like bruuuhhhh ashdoiwosnjdplwjer. anyways it izzz wat it izzz i’m actually a lot more motivated to study now cause like 1) i need like 80-90s in my finals to pass and 2) i got to end on a high note.

I have an upcoming anatomy quiz which covers the Scalp and Face which is all the muscles of the face and their actions and then temporal and infratemporal fossa. The muscles i’ve got dooowwwnn i just need to memorize the origins and insertions but the infratemporal fossa is so confusing for me idk why. And then next week I also have a physiology quiz which covers the parathyroid hormone and I haven’t reviewed that since before midterms soooo it’s been a minute. I also skipped a biochemistry and a histology lecture this week so I have one biochem chapter and then for histology half of the bone chapter, which tbh i’m seriosuly not looking forward to. Honestly what world are we living in that biochemistry is better than histology ??? like whaaattt?? Also my anatomy professor for lower limb is both so behind and also just going sooo damn fast like bruh…. so I have like three chapters to study one of them being nerves of the leg and if you know me you know i HATTEEE nerves and vessels so not looking forward to studying that.

This weekend I’m going to try and study mainly physiology and biochem. and then anatomy and histology. and literally yeet tf out of genetics. i’m seriously not even gonna look at the class until before finals like ew. anyways imma stop here cause i’m literally in physio class i just don’t know wtf this chick is talking abt. we just finished reproductive systems and this is the first lecture for GIT and i’m just lost. it’s also 8pm and a zoom class so yk i’m just in my phone.

[dognoselover]

I read your tags on the hyperfixation post and idk anything about octopath, but a bakugo and zoro interaction sounds like the funnies chaotic mess ever. They’ve both got that unhinged demon energy, but zoro’s real chill about it, and Bakugo hates everything with a pulse, but also zoro is such a Dad and omg I love the concept!! 😂

YOU GET IT!!!!!! you get it. listen for the past week i should have been focusing on my final projects and papers but you know what i can’t get out of my head??? ZORO & BAKUGOU BROTHERLY RELATIONSHIP. it’s stuck in there and definitely not getting out until i write it.

like, bakugou loves fighting. zoro loves fighting. i want to yeet bakugou into the one piece universe because then he can just fight. he can just fight all the time and it’d be so perfect. and it’d be like, fine, because everyone would just think he’s eaten some boom boom devil fruit or something, and he’d be able to keep himself out of the water (even though he could swim) by his flying shit that he does. 

besides the fighting part bakugou and zoro are so different but like, a 15 yr old with anger issues and a 19 yr old who just sleeps all the time, and they both pick fights like nobody’s business, and it’d be such beautiful chaos that would drive the other crewmates up the wall (except for, say, luffy).

and then like, after a while of being in the one piece universe, bakugou would just be like, “yo, so, i gotta find my way home.” and everyone’s like nooo don’t go you’re so cool bakugou’s just like, “i have midterms in two weeks, i can’t stay.”

i’m GOING to write it. i will. i must finish my projects first but it’s going to come into fruition. 

(and octopath traveler is a video game centering around 8 different travelers who’s stories all intertwine, and they become like this little found family, and it’s such nakama vibes and they’d be the perfect size for a crew like luffy’s and AAAAAAAA)

[everliving-everblaze]

A Summary of KotLC in Meme Form: Part 1

@suldreen-saga described this as the “Shakespeare Modern Version.” Enjoy! Thank you to her and to @when-all-hope-feels-lost for their feedback!

 Sophie is big brain.

*Fork Man has joined the chat*

*Hot Teal Boi has joined the chat*

Hot Teal Boi: u don't belong here. come to paradise.

Sophie: hahaha—r u n

*Pole has joined the chat*

Pole: D I E

Sophie: hard pass my dudes

Hot Teal Boi: l i s t e n  u r  ELF

Sophie: lol ok as long as u hold my hand

Hot Teal Boi: fair

*Teal Boi Senior has joined the chat*

Sophie must pass The Test

Sophie passes The Test

*Della has joined the chat*

*Glitter Girl has joined the chat*

Glitter Girl: that dress it’s mine

*Cowboy Dad and Cowboy Mom have joined the chat*

*Tech Boi has joined the chat*

Sophie starts The School

*Destruction has joined the chat*

*Ice Ice Boi has joined the chat*

Ice Ice Boi: lol u r dead meat

Sophie: ._.

Ice Ice Boi: AWAY TO THE HEAL WE GOO

*Elwin has joined the chat*

*Destruction has left the chat*

*Verminion has joined the chat*

Verminion: die

Cowboy Dad: NOT UPON THE WATCH OF I

Cowboy Dad: ok now Sophie pick up the dead things kthx

Sophie: but wait.... THIS ONE IS A L I V E

*Iggy has joined the chat*

*dramatic music has joined the chat*

Sophie: THIS CREATURE NEEDS MORE LIFE

Cowboy Mom: ok

Sophie: smells bad but I want it

Cowboy Mom: ok

*Splotch has joined the chat*

Splotch: ok now throw things at each other

Sophie: I am UNDEFEATED I am CHAMPION

Hot Teal Boi: oh no u didnt

*Destruction has rejoined the chat*

Elwin: lol I thought u didn’t like me

*Destruction has left the chat*

*Midterms has joined the chat*

Sophie: I AM SMOL BRAIN I HAVE NO BRAIN CELLS

Tech Boi: here, have some brain cells

Sophie: thanks but it’s not enough brain cells

Sophie: *cheats*

Sophie:

Sophie:

Sophie: oh no that was big dumb.

Teal Boi Senior: never fear. i am here!

Sophie: no but like I was really big dumb

*Detention has joined the chat*

*Sir Astin has joined the chat*

Tech Boi: ok so we need to find stars and steal their light

Sophie: sounds legit

Sophie: i feel like we should steal light from this completely blank spot in the sky

Tech Boi: what could go wrong?

*Destruction has joined the chat*

Elwin: GET OUTTA HERE

Sir Astin: YEAH

*Destruction has left the chat*

*Terik has joined the chat*

Terik: ok lemme just creepily decide if you have the potential to be a good person

*Finals have joined the chat*

Finals: lol have fun

Tech Boi: Sophie since you’re low on brain cells, this elixir will give you more

Sophie: sounds good

Sophie: *takes elixir*

*Destruction has rejoined the chat*

Elwin: Seriously??? Sophie? How???

*Destruction has left the chat*

*Gildie has joined the chat*

Gildie: FLAPPITY FLAPPITY SMACKITY SMACKITY

Cowboy Dad: WUT NO BAD BIRD

Sophie: no dad you just need some fire

Sophie: *sets bird on fire*

Cowboy Dad: Sophie literally u are so dumb and yet ur dumb always works out

Sophie: yes

*Black Swan has joined the chat*

Black Swan: Sophie your parents are dying do something illegal

Sophie: um I’ll think about it

Cowboy Dad and Cowboy Mom: *make the worst decision ever a.k.a. adoption cancelled*

*Entire fandom has joined the chat*

Entire fandom: *sobs violently*

Tech Boi: y u ignoring me??

Sophie: BECAUSE MY LIFE SUCKS

Tech Boi: WELL SO DO U

Entire fandom: *sobs violently*

Sophie: GUESS IT’S TIME TO DO THE ILLEGAL

Sophie: *bottles fire that’s impossible to put out* i’m so big brain! the Council must listen to me!

Sophie: *gets yelled at* *gets the sads* *run to cave*

*Kidnapper has joined the chat*

Kidnapper: GOTCHU

Tech Boi: hi Sophie

Sophie: AJIFJ;ESI WHY IS MY LIFE LIKE THIS

Kidnapper: heck well i guess i’ve got u too

Much very bad torturey stuff happens.

Fork Man: *sigh* i guess i’m here to save you

Sophie: “you” better be plural, idiot, or imma yeet myself back into the Neverseen’s arms

Fork Man: what is your problem i’m trying to save your life

Sophie: bold of u to think i need saving

Fork Man: i’m done here’s some abilities and i’m yeeting out of here finish saving yourself. also here’s a vague note.

Sophie: oh no i’m poor

Tech Boi: oh it’s okay lemme just make the money machine do the money

Sophie: ???!!!!

Sophie: i cant deal with this when i’m hungry

Sophie: *eats food and does helpful research*

Tech Boi: lol humans so dum

Sophie:

Sophie:

Sophie: okay let’s just get out of here

Sophie and Tech Boi arrive at the bridge.

Sophie: I spy with my little eye literally nothing

Tech Boi:

Tech Boi: *keeps searching*

Sophie: *finds lantern* AND I OOP

Kidnapper: sksksktop right there *zappy zappy much sads*

Sophie: RAWR

Kidnapper: *falls down*

Sophie: TECH BOI IS WEAK I MUST BE STRONG

*Destruction has rejoined the chat*

Sophie: teal... boi.... i... need... you

Teal Boi: lol u don’t exist

Ice Ice Boi: wait no i think she does

Teal Boi: oh ok

Elwin: SOPHIE WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM PLEASE WHY

Destruction: i’m done avoiding u, Elwin. We duel at dawn.

Elwin: ok

*Destruction has left the chat*

Teal Boi Senior: ok so here’s your very own guard that does tough things

*Scaly Boi has joined the chat*

Sophie: ah i’m scared. RAWR

Scaly Boi: *falls down*

Teal Boi Senior: Sophie I said that was your guard you absolute idiot

Sophie: skskskorry

~The End~

[jawnjendes]

we’re free | shawn mendes

university au, shawn x goth gf

oo another thing for @fourtristattoos spring fest! this is just pure fluff and soft shit. i dont write shit like this often. its short (1.4k) and (sickly) sweet and yeah. take it before i start to hate it lmao

masterlist | series playlist

Time really does fly when things improve in your life. I felt this when I had a continuous streak of high self esteem last year. I didn't realize how good it was, or the fact that it lasted for 3 months until the new year hit and I crashed. It was just another declining slope in my never ending depression battle. Meaning, I survived and I felt okay again after a while.

I caught myself in the middle of another high streak about… five months after I started dating Shawn. He was the one who made me realize it.

He summoned me to his apartment after midnight on an oddly chilly spring night. Luckily, I was awake in my dorm, frantically cramming for midterms. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to haul ass over there, because midterms, but Shawn was insisting that it was urgent. I shoved my books and notes into my backpack and somewhat reluctantly yeeted my ass over to his place.

“I swear, if I fail research methods again,” I said the second he let me into his place, “I’m holding you personally responsible.”

“I will take that responsibility,” he told me. “Thank you for coming.” He took my hand and led me to the living room.

His guitar was leaning against the couch, and there was a notebook and pen on the coffee table. This is what he’s been doing all night? Did this boy not have any midterm exams?

“Keeping busy?” I asked, dropping my backpack at the foot of the couch as I sat on the soft cushion.

“Very.” Shawn sat down next to me and grabbed his prized instrument. “I need your help writing a song.”

I blinked, trying not to seem annoyed or frustrated. I had four finals, and one of them was a repeat. “What kinda song?”

“A song about us.” He smiled.

Now I was confused. Shawn had written a song about he and I a couple of months back. He performed it for a grade with his singing class friend Julia, and it was a wonderful song, even though we had a minor argument after he showed it to me. It totally called me out on my bullshit, but it also proved to me how serious Shawn was about staying with me. It helped me get over my rational doubts and irrational fears.

“I thought we already had one,” I said.

“Yeah, that was from when you had your walls up,” Shawn explained. “Before you let me see all of you. I want this one to be different. It’s about where we are now.” He strummed a tune I hadn't heard before as he said all of that.

“So what do you need from me?”

“I need you to tell me how you feel about me.”

Over time, it’s gotten easier to express myself. I was getting used to allowing myself to acknowledge and feel my feelings. Turns out, feeling things helps you process things and eventually, let go of the bad things. Shawn had been very patient and far nicer than I deserved. He hasn’t left me hanging at all, nor has he made any sign of doing so. Plus, the fact that he was so open about his own thoughts and feelings helped too. It was almost odd having to admit that I was feeling safe and free with him.

But… while I was getting better, the habit was hard to break.

“I… talk of… emotions?” I mumbled.

“You’re cute when you have to say you love me.” Shawn affectionately stroked my cheek.

I talked about how much I love my boyfriend to anyone but my boyfriend. That’s not to say I don’t show him any affection at all. He liked to be held sometimes. I gave him the best anniversary gifts. I was planning to finally take him home with me to meet my family. I was the type to internalize my emotions, as if that’s a shock. Shawn was the type to randomly say “I love you,” tell me I was pretty, and show me off to his friends. He gave me random hugs whenever we’re together, and he liked having me as his big spoon. He was externally loving.

“You’re a lot taller than me,” I said in thought, “but you lay on my chest a lot.”

“Well, you’re small and cozy,” he replied with a laugh. He reached for his notebook and pen and made a note. “What else? Don’t be afraid to get deep. It’s just you and me.”

All the deep thoughts hit me at once. Thoughts I didn’t dare speak of because they were way too mushy or because I would cry. I still didn’t like to cry in front of Shawn, I just wasn’t that type. Even when we watched Deathly Hallows Part 2, I was practically made of stone. Whenever I had moments of being close to a meltdown, I always stood my ground. But talking out loud about how this guy has impacted me and my life? Oof.

“I lowkey thought, if we weren't going to be in a relationship,” I said sheepishly, “maybe we would have hooked up at one point.”

Shawn tilted his head. “Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, if I had decided to go home with you after our first date. Or, if I was still in that mental place of sleeping with guys who don't give a fuck about me.”

“Hey, if I give a fuck about you now, I would have given a fuck if we were only sleeping together. I think this was meant to be.”

Somehow, I believed him. I was going through a personal change just before he came into my life. I thought I wasn't ready for him when he came along, but he was just what I needed. He was one of the things that kept me afloat.

“You’re, uh, the kindest person I’ve ever been with,” I told him, shifting so I was sat cross legged. “I mean, every person I’ve been with before you started out kind…”

“But they were never how they appeared,” Shawn finished.

I nodded. “I thought that was all I had to expect from a relationship: one sidedness, passive aggression, doing certain things because you think you owe them.” I sighed. “And then you came along…”

Shawn stayed quiet as he scribbled on his book some more. Then, he looked at me again, a certain sparkle in his eyes.

My throat was starting to burn. I looked down at my hands. This was getting more intimate than I expected. I had barely said anything and I felt exposed.

“Okay, let me go now,” Shawn spoke up. “You see the world as it is, and you never bullshit about any of it. You refuse to change who you are for anyone. You’re incredibly honest, and it makes me feel… safe. I can talk to you about anything because I know you will tell me the truth. You're also…” He paused. “You're morbid, and dark and fixated on things like death and the afterlife… And it should be creepy, but when I look at you, everything seems better.”

Easy for you to say. You’ve never had to consciously hold back your feelings for someone.

“You… brought out a part of me that I thought was gone a long time ago,” I continued, my throat burning up. “I used to be like you, I used to be in love with love. My experience with failed relationships took that away from me. You…” I cleared my throat. “You don’t think I’m weird because I live and breath in the color black. For some reason, you like that I get too invested in video games and TV shows. You’re way too patient when my paranoia flares up or when I get sick to my stomach. You kind of made me believe again.” I sniffed.

“Honey…”

“Shush, I’m not done. I constantly feel like I’m dreaming when I’m with you.” I paused, internally cringing at how fucking true that statement was. “And I can’t find anything wrong with us, apart from the walls I had up when we met.” I coughed. “Is that enough material for you?”

Shawn chuckled. “It’s perfect.” He held out his hand. “You’re perfect.”

I took his hand, actual tears in my eyes. Holy fuck, I’m happy. I’m so happy. “I love you.”

“And I love that concept.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“I’m never gonna live that down, am I?”

“No.” Shawn leaned in and kissed me sweetly. “But I love you too.”

[turtle-steverogers]

Departed Chap 1

This was originally on my ao3 but i’m impulse posting it here YEET (ima put all the chapters under #departed)

Ship: Slow burn Sprace

Warnings: Domestic Abuse mentions

It had been a long fucking day. Well, a long fucking week really between midterms and work at the Tae Kwon Do studio he instructed at, but today especially had dragged on and Spot Conlon was ready to take a hot shower and sleep. But of course, nothing was ever that simple. His evening plans were quickly squashed by the sound of weak knocking on his apartment door. Spot groaned and pulled himself up from his comfortable position on the couch, reluctantly unbolting the door and opening it. He was about to reprimand the person knocking for bothering him at eleven o’clock on a Friday night, but hastily shut his mouth when he took in the person in front of him.

“Race? What the fuck.” Spot said, his voice coming out a little louder than he meant it to. Antonio “Racetrack” Higgins, his best friend of five years, was standing outside his apartment door, nursing a bloody nose and several hand-shaped bruises on his exposed arms.

Race locked eyes with Spot, his gaze tired and annoyed, “Canya not raise your voice? My head hurts.” He mumbled, then shouldered past Spot and proceeded to kick off his shoes.

“Sorry,” Spot murmured, still trying to grasp the situation as Race gingerly laid himself on the couch, “But uh, you gonna tell me what happened?”

“No, I’ma sleep.” Race grunted.

“Racer, ya can’t just come to my apartment covered in bruises and blood and expect me not ta-”

“Sean, I know. I promise I’ll explain tomorrow, but I’m so exhausted and I really don’t wanna be awake right now.” Race said, his eyes already closed.

“Okay, but you are talkin’ tomorrow,” Spot said, finally moving away from the door, “Also, no sleep yet. Your face is bloody as fuck and you are not sleepin’ on my pillows like that.”

Race groaned and didn’t move, “Spottie…”

“Nope, c’mon, at least clean up,” Spot persisted, “You don’t even gotta get all the way up, just clean off ya face.”

There was a small pause and for a moment Spot wondered if Race had stubbornly started to fake sleep, then he heard a small, “Fine.”

Spot wet a paper towel in the kitchen sink, then quickly retrieved an extra pair of sweatpants from his bedroom.

“Here,” he said, handing both things to Race, who took them lying down, “Clean off and get changed, I’ll grab ya some blankets.”

Race didn’t reply and Spot watched for a moment as he pulled himself into a sitting position, wincing as he did so. He really did look like shit. Blood was covering the front of his shirt and there was a bruise on his jaw that Spot hadn’t seen before.

“Spot, I uhh, I appreciate you checkin’ me out, but could I have some privacy?” Race said, a tired smirk coloring his features.

“Oh,” Spot said, snapping out of his reverie, “Yeah, yeah sorry.”

He left to dig some sheets out of the hallway closet and was just gathering a pillow when he heard a small whimper then, “S-spottie? Couldya help?”

Spot turned to see Race with his jeans halfway off. The sweatpants were crumpled at his side.

“My chest is kinda, uh, bruised and my abilities ta move are compromised…” He continued, not making eye contact with Spot.

“Oh! Yeah, ‘course.” Spot said, making his way over to Race and sitting beside him. He carefully lifted Race’s legs into his lap and pulled off his pants off completely, then began to pull the sweatpants onto his legs.

When they reached his mid thighs, Race cleared his throat, “I can get ‘em from here.” He said, blushing slightly.

“Ya sure?” Spot asked as he watched Race struggle to pull them up farther, “Dude, lemme see your chest.”

Race paused his action, then swiftly pulled the sweatpants up the rest of the way, taking deep breaths after, presumably to stop the pain in his torso.

He paused for a moment, toying with the hem of his shirt before shaking his head, “My chest is fine, well, not entirely fine, but no ribs are broken. I checked. Can I please jus’ sleep?”

Spot sighed, “Fine, I’ll stop houndin’ ya.” He studied Race’s face for a moment longer before standing and grabbing a discarded sweatshirt from the chair nearest to him and handing it to Race.

“Here, so you don’t gotta wear a bloody ass shirt all night.” Race took it, but made no move to put it on, “If ya need anythin’ in the night, just shout. Night Race.”

“Night, Spot.”

XXX

The next morning, Spot woke up to the sound of the coffee maker turning on. He climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweats. When he entered the kitchen, Race pulled another mug out of the cabinet.

“You’re movin’ around better,” Spot observed, noticing that Race had changed into the sweatshirt he had given him the night before.

Race only grunted in reply, busying himself in pouring coffee for the two of them. Once he was finished, he handed Spot a mug, then sat himself at the kitchen counter. Spot sat down across from him and worked on adding sugar to his cup.

Spot startled slightly when Race spoke quietly, “It’s never gotten this bad before. I mean, she’s always been harsh in her words and maybe a slap here or there, but she was drunk and I was annoyin’ her I guess and next thing I knew she was comin’ at me with a bottle and...” He trailed off, closing his eyes to compose himself.

Spot looked at him in shock. Race could only be talking about one person- his girlfriend, Melissa. They had been dating for a little over a year and at first, their relationship had seemed perfect. But then, Race would stop coming to group hang-outs, and when he did come, he seemed nervous. He would leave early and never seemed to participate as much as he used to. Spot had suspected this was Melissa’s doing for a while, but he never could have imagined it going this far and never brought it up. Though, given Race’s current condition, he wish he had.

Race continued, “I dunno what to do, Sean. I haven’t been able ta breathe in that relationship for a while, but now I’m suffocatin’.”

“Break up with her, you don’t gotta stay in that situation.” Spot said, softly.

Race looked up for the first time, fear evident in his eyes, “No! No I can’t-that would jus’ be..I mean she’d find me and- no I can’t.”

Spot’s eyes flicked down to Race’s hands, noticing for the first time that they were shaking. Race must have seen Spot looking, because he cleared his throat and gripped his mug tight enough to turn his knuckles white.

“Alright,” Spot sighed, “We can talk more about this later, alright?”

Race didn’t say anything, but he didn’t object, so Spot took that as a yes.

“Are ya hungry? I could make pancakes.” Spot suggested.

Race shrugged, then nodded, “With blueberries?”

Spot scoffed, “‘Course. It’s not like ya’d eat ‘em without.”

Race smiled slightly into his mug, “I hate how well ya know me.”

Spot chuckled lightly and said, “That’s jus’ the price of friendship, buddy,” before turning to his cabinets to get out the ingredients for the pancakes. It was mostly quiet for a few minutes while Spot cooked, save for the sound of their coffee mugs clinking and Race humming to himself. However, the comfortable quiet was interrupted by Race’s phone ringing.

“Shit,” Race muttered to himself.

“S’it Melissa?” Spot questioned, turning around to place the plate full of pancakes on the countertop.

“Yep,” Race said, distractedly. He sighed, then picked up the phone, standing up from his seat at the counter as he did so.

“Yeah?” Race said, meekly into the phone. Immediately, shouting could be heard from the other end of the phone and Spot watched in concern as Race flinched and drew his shoulders up to his ears, “I’m sorry- I said I’m sorry. No- I-I’m out right now. O-okay. Y-yeah. I’ll come back now. I- Melissa, no. I said I’d come-please.”

Spot could feel his heart break as he watched his best friend transform into a stuttering mess. After a few more seconds of Melissa’s audible shouting and Race trying to get a few words in, the call was ended. Race slumped back down in his chair and put his face in his hands.

“I’m not letting you go back there, Race.” Spot said, gently, yet firmly.

“I-” Race cut himself off as his voice cracked, and Spot was surprised to see his shoulders start shaking with what he presumed were tears. He’d only ever seen him cry once before, and they had both been drunk. He jumped into action when Race’s cries turned to sobs, quickly making his way around the counter so he could carefully rub a hand up and down his arm to ground him.

“I-I don’t know w-what ta do, Spottie,” Race choked out.

“We’ll figure this out, Racer, I promise.” Spot said, soothingly, although his heart was in his throat. It scared him to see his best friend breakdown like this.

“I’m scared,” Race whimpered.

“I know, I’m right here.”

TAG LIST:

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[thisnerdsadventures]

how operating systems went for me

the beginning

In the beginning, there was doubt. And fear. But mostly doubt, because I “sort of” knew C, and I could /kind of/ figure out page tables, and I took the prereq for the class, so it shouldn’t be that bad? Well, I was expecting it to be bad, but absolutely nothing worse than 046 right? because that was known to be the worst of CS at this school, so nothing could be worse than that....right?

Wrong. WRONG! First class I was like, ah you know, i know Linux. I’ve OPENED A FILE BEFORE. I know what a FILE DESCRIPTOR IS. (wrong. i truly did not know what a file descriptor was, in all of its essence.) If you read my Admissions post, you’d know that my life was in the process of being truly wrecked by my paper revisions, so I wasn’t able to start on the first lab until the weekend, and it took me around an hour to do the first exercise, which was really one solid line of code, and I was like well ok, there’s only like five exercises, shouldn’t be too bad.

WRONG AGAIN! the last exercise will forever be engraved in my brain as xargs because it took me and my friend K a solid TEN HOURS. to do the last exercise. JUST THE LAST ONE. It was the first time in maybe like a year I went to an office hours. I had never spent so long thinking about recursion in my life. I have really vivid memories of sitting at the rooftop garden with K at the poolside chairs near the Marriott staring back at the googz office, tear streaming down my face, as I thought ahead about whether I should drop the class early. (ok it wasn’t this dramatic, but I was definitely staring longingly at the coffee baristas through the window.)

And after we finished the lab, we thought, oh maybe this is just a poor learning curve. Maybe it gets better from here.

the crisis begins

*say it with me this time* WROOOOONG - we really thought the next lab would be better because it seemed like the last exercise of the last lab, but slightly expanded. but L o L! we had spent a solid five hours with no progress up until like 3am, when I lied in bed in the dark and panic emailed my advisor, asking to meet the next day. There is a calendar event in my calendar called Cry to John (john’s my advisor). I spent perhaps the entire next day up until my meeting at 4pm working on the lab, making a bit more progress after going to office hours. During my meeting, I relayed how hard the class had been so far, and whether I should drop it to the undergrad version of the class, and it got to the point where I was just like “but its just. SO HARD” and he replied “....it’s a grad class dude”

After I returned home, I consulted my head of house and he also suggested I either drop the class or drop it to the undergrad version. I really was like “lol my dude, I’m already only on 42 units, I can’t really just drop this class. it’s already like two and a half weeks into the semester.” So I ended up dropping it to undergrad status.

A few more late nights pulled because I *surprise* have OTHER CLASSES other than this one, and I still ended up staying up til nearly 3am the night before career fair finishing up the lab. A total of more than 20 hours spent on this lab, and I thought, maybe just maybe this would be the hardest lab.

And the next lab wasn’t too bad. I had spent a solid 12 hours on it, but got it done pretty efficiently. Unfortunately, it was still the time in the semester where I was doing like 1923819238 things and catching up with 1928319238 people, so it felt overwhelming, but wasn’t /that/ bad. so i thought things were turning up! I also met up with my old googz team at around this point and told them that it was a hell class, and they relayed their sympathies.

lazy_alloc

So was it in fact, getting better? WRONGGGGGG. the next lab was perhaps the WORST LAB OF THE ENTIRE CLASS. By this point, we had hit the first week of october, and I had deleted instagram off my phone in an attempt to better focus on classes. due to other things happening, like various house gov events, an 18.06 exam, and another pset, I was only able to put in around 6 hours of office hours time on this lab before Wednesday night, where K and I quickly realized that this shit was no joke, unlike the last lab. We had also met our other friend at office hours who would become the third member of our group chat kalloc==0 (iykyk), and we befriended her after including her in our sarcastic comments about lazy allocation. It was maybe four hours into an all-nighter that we went to Verdes, realized Verdes was closed, and proceeded to sit on the floor of the student center and yell about how hard this class was.

It was then like 5am, and I decided to sleep and wake up in the morning to look at it again. It was then 8:30 am, and then it was 12pm, and then it was 4pm, and I had mandatory class. My friend passed me in Stata and asked how i was, and i replied “look at me. LOOK AT ME”

It was then 6pm. I had spent 20 hours of the past 24 hours doing this lab. and the most extraordinary thing happened -- I got the OK. I cried. I weeped. I texted my friends and let them know I was alive. And I slept for a long time.

exam szn

Ok truly, things could not get that much worse after this right? WRONGGGGGG. the first exam was just around the corner! After maybe a week of rest, I started the grind, a painful realization that I knew nothing, I did not truly know what a page table was, I had no idea how a system call worked, and the throwing shit at the wall style of doing the labs was indeed going to catch up with me. It was the long weekend, but I was still studying 4-6 hours a day on top of everything else I was doing, and many nights in the student center were spent in sadness. I barely remember anything from this caffeine/adrenaline fueled week. And I got a whopping 40% on the exam! yay me

All I remember after the exam was crying from shock in Stata after the exam because it was so hard, eating too much at hot pot and nearly throwing up in the Uber, and almost punching a hole in the ceiling because I was so happy that my score was not single digits. I was actually so tired after a week of studying nonstop that I had to S^3 one of my other psets because I legitimately could not think nor read. My friend was then like why dont you just yeet to new york for a break, and i was like who in the right mind would do that??? and then i yeeted to new york (as you can read about in another post of mine). Truly an amazing decision because I really needed a break from that craziness. After that, the learning curve did chill a little. My life though? no, I went to Princeton for a hackathon, stayed up all night doing stuff for our party, and then managed to finish the very last lab of the class right before Thanksgiving break.

the finish line

This brings us to the last week of the semester, where I thank my lucky stars I dropped to the undergrad version of the class, because I watched K suffer through a whole week of all nighters for the final project, in which I definitely would have straight up had a mental breakdown, because that week was still somehow one of the worst weeks of the semester for me (two poster sessions, exam, two week pset). But luckily I was straight up j chilling until the final because i had finished the last lab before break.

obviously, this takes us to last week, which was our finals week, where I spent 40-50 hours over the course of a week just studying for this exam, which features a day where I had done a midterm from 9am-12pm and then proceeded to study from 2pm to 2am for this operating systems class, and I had had three cups of coffee, which I don’t strongly recommend as a life decision. But after much strife and anxiety, I had mustered out a 60/76 on the final exam, which I thought was a solid B, but much to my shock and my other friend’s delight (she checked my class grade for me), I actually somehow got an A after this shit of a class, despite not knowing how to use a pointer 3 months ago, despite trying to survive against grad students, despite having to pour 18239128983x energy into understanding lectures??? somehow. anyways, now i am absolutely sure I have gone through the worst thing you could ever go through in this school. if anything turns out to be harder than this, i’m pretty sure it’s not worth it lol