#i finally “beat” same face syndrome

[tetraharmonic]

Finally jumping on the oc train 👁 👁

I present, the inspector Kira and her other harem!

Aria Bell, second year (kinda self insert imho)

- cannot stand her last name, ready to smack Amano senseless if he doesn't stop singing the Bells of Notre Dame anytime he sees her.

- American Exchange Student, gifted student burnout. Was on track to go Ivy League but her pact got in the way big time, and she spiraled. If it didn't come easy to her, she hated it, and gave up, because she never learned how to work for things until late into highschool.

-Made her pact to protect her younger sister from a hit and run. The demon paused time to give her the one chance, and she took it without even thinking of the consequences.

-Her stigma, Augere, allows her to amplify her own abilities based on her own self confidence and belief she can accomplish it. She used it to enhance her speed and push her sister safely out of the way. It caused an uproar about super humans and all that, which resulted in being transfered to Darkwick. Now, she just uses it to absorb herself completely into her studies and enhance her memory like crazy.

-She can fight, but she doesn't want to. She'd rather dodge, avoid, and outsmart an opponent before it even starts.

-Absolutely thriving in Hotarubi, enjoying her time there as a poet.

-Her artifact is a cloak of invisibility.

- picks at her nails, Kira smacks her when she does, only for Irina to smack Kira for smacking Aria.

Irina/Hisako

-Was known as Hisako while she was alive, but she couldn't remember her name, so she picked one from a TV show she saw as a ghost while haunting a hospital. She goes by that name now, Irina.

-She regained consciousness in a hospital, and kept herself entertained by observing the processes and procedures, as well as enjoying the conversations of both the people there and on the televisions.

-Was believed to be a vengeful spirit, and so, Darkwick sent the Mortkraken ghouls to retrieve her. She turned out to be a Yurei, or a Zashiki-Warashi, as the patients in the hospital had an unnaturally high success rate: she was blessing them all when she could. She came back to Mortkraken willingly, after the promise that she would be helpful to them.

-She discovered ghouls pretty early on, and, as she watched them all, she felt the strong urge to be like them, or at least, able to reach out and touch them. So, despite being only a soul, she sold it all to a demon, naively believing she could defeat it even in this state. Whether she will or not is unknown, but, in making the deal, she's become tangible and can feel things again.

-She can't taste or smell anything, except two things: blood, and apples.

-If the academy finds out what she is, she'll be sent to Obscuary. It'd break her heart though, as she would do anything to be a doctor like her current housemates, and give them a chance to rest since she's unable to sleep even if she wished to.

-Detatchable prosthetic arms. She doesn't have an artifact, so she detaches one and uses it as a flail instead.

-Amano doesn't trust her.

-Has an unusual twitch in her right middle and pointer fingers, and a habit for breaking and entering.

Amano Watanabe

- Squirel shifter anomaly, but don't let that fool you, Irina says he probably has rabies.

-Formerly an apprentice at a temple for a kitsune, with other shifters running the temple (a fox and an elk). Realized he wasn't fit for it and pestered Darkwick to let him in. Quickly also realized once in, he couldn't get out.

-Highly sensitive to spirits, but not nearly as strong as Haku is. Insists Irina is not to be trusted, and isn't an innocent ghost as she claims to be. And it's not because of her pact, either.

-He would wear an "I eat cement" shirt unironically.

-His artifact is a Taiko drum.

-Loves to pester Aria, because he finds it ironic that anyone in Hotarubi would have such a music heavy name. Bells and Arias? Seriously?

-Chilling in Jabberwock, but often doesn't hang out with the others due to the heavy work load.

Kira, Aka Inspector Gadget

-honor student, but with no honor

-consider your shoe rights revoked

-I haven't developed her yet but all I know is that one more order from Jin and she's going to start doing crimes.

-uses metal bottlecaps as currency for favors, as well as other shiny objects.

There is not a single braincell between them, and I am very normal about them.

[yandere-wishes]

ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕔 𝔹𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖

Synopsis: You finally realize that you and Miguel are stuck inside a comic book romance. 

Warnings: Yandere themes, angst, the reader has Stockholm syndrome but can we really blame her? 

There's something about a sleepless night that's lethal. A loaded gun aimed point blank at your head and your heart and your eyes that are too weary to recall the difference between fact and fiction. Right and wrong.

Miguel should be home soon you think as you stare at the Daily Bugle's nightly broadcast. The headlines are the same as last week's villain attack and the week before that, and the week before that. 

'SPIDERMAN REPORTED DEAD AFTER TANGLE WITH NUEVA YORK'S NEWEST VILLAIN!'

 You think this is the 18th time he's died this month. A hologram dances in front of you, some withering reporter adamant in his claim that this time. This time for sure Spiderman is dead. A Harrowing claim, one you know to be false. Your lover isn't so easy to kill, you should know on account of how many times you had tried. Back when you'd painted Miguel O'Hara as the villain in your story, back when you were so obstinate to return to a wholly ignorant life of so-called freedom. 

Miguel can't die, you refuse to believe that a man like that is subject to such a mortal thing. 

You use to try to imagine a Miguel that had grown old. You couldn't back then and still can't today. Because heroes are eternal, or so you've come to believe.  They die a hundred deaths and reawaken younger than before. Heroes aren't immortal -that's the part that makes your heart skip a beat- yet death has never had the chance to lay claim to them. Miguel is fine you're sure of it. 

There's a noise, a disturbance in the wind, the sound of thousands of coiled webs being used to sling across the air.

A sign that Spiderman has arrived.

He's here.

You can't help but smile. 

"What's the old man saying this time?" 

You turn to see Miguel, land at the edge of the rooftop. Legs limb as he staggers towards you. With a defeated moan he sits down. Close enough for you to inspect the galaxy of bruises that dance across his stunning face. 

When did you fall in love with him, again? 

"You're supposed to be dead," you say, a bitter laugh following, the peculiar words.

"I think that's the 14th time the Bugals had a spread on me dying" He chuckles, dry and humorless. 

You bite your tongue to avoid correcting him. 

"Who was it this time? Venom or Flipside?" you ask, trying to guess which of the two had been able to give the Miguel O'Hara a run for his money. 

"Just some kid, from another dimension. Mocoso already screwed up the canon once, and he's damn well trying to do it again. He used Spider Bite to send himself home, so I didn't get the chance to..." He doesn't bother finishing that sentence. Doesn't have to, you've seen worlds collapse upon themselves because a tiny imperfection had distraught the canon. You know why he does this. You know why he must do this. No one is exempt from the canon. No matter how young and naive they may be. 

How peculiar the life of superhumans are. For all the guts and glory every hero's world is only bounded by thin silk strings. Perpetually on the verge of collapse should the chosen one refuse to follow destiny's orders. 

Heroes aren't pretty, they neither sparkle nor shine. Instead, they burn with a self-lit fire that grows out of control, burning until only ashes remain. Heroes are tragedies swung across every dimension. War-torn children with blood under their fingernails and chipped teeth from one too many close calls. Heroes aren't pretty, nor beautiful, nor divine. They're mangled creatures who come alive at night, staggering across half-lit streets doing what they believe is right. 

You've tried to commit this to memory. Tried to memorize it so you wouldn't make the same mistakes as every lovesick idiot who's fallen in love with a superhero. 

But sometimes it's so hard to remember, especially when Miguel has been your only companion for months now. The only person you have to talk to. The only person who is there in the early hours of the morning when even sleep abandons you. And he's always there again at night to tuck you in before he departs to fight whoever has broken the few simple rules that the canon calls for. You've almost come to appreciate his paranoia and insistence that you stayed locked inside the penthouse. Although he's grown a bit bolder as of late. Permitting you free range of the terrace and rooftop. A sign of good faith, he'd called. Whilst you'd presume that he's come to enjoy you waiting outside to greet him when he returns from the miseries of being a golden boy. 

"I try to save everyone, I try to make sure the universe is held upright. So why the hell does everyone always treat me like I'm the villain?" His voice is raising, fangs glowing in loose rays of starlight. His hands are crossed in annoyance. You rest your hand on his arm as you snuggle closer.

Heroes and villains, what's the difference? 

That's a question the two of you have been pondering for too long now. 

Even though you doubt  Miguel truly knows who he is. It's hard to fall into the orderly boxes of 'good' and 'bad' when the fate of every universe lies on your already brittle shoulders. 

He's a hero who acts like a villain. That's what you use to call him. Back when he'd first plucked you away from your ordinary mundane life.Deeming the world too dangerous for a defenseless little civilian such as yourself. He had promised to love you, to cherish you. Back when you'd been so resistant to play the role of the hero's lover. But seeing as how no matter what nightmares he went through as Spiderman, he had still kept those two promises. You had slowly started to grow fond of him

Time and time again Miguel has made you feel like a butterfly caught in a spider's web. Wings clipped and waiting for the inevitable. He's overbearing to the point where his sheer presence feels like a boulder placed on your chest. Or maybe his strings have finally found their way to your heart, coiling around the organ controlling its every beat and pulse. Yet somehow, somehow, you started to desire more and more of him.

You're in love with the hero who plays the villain. 

You're in love with the villain who bares a hero's mask. 

"You should be more careful when dealing with the other spiders. I hear they're not all as precautious as you." Your fingers trace the purpling marks on his cheek.  Sliding from one universe to another. 

You know Miguel isn't a tiny spider he's a bloodthirsty tarantula. Yet you still worry. Fear that one day he may fail to return home. 

"You shouldn't worry about me preciosa,"

"Someone has to, Miguel, you're not as indestructible as you may think."

"If I kiss you will you stop complaining?"

There's no room to answer, his lips rest on yours, forceful and sweet. Captivating, dominating, and as always overbearing. His fangs slowly sink into the back of your lips. That familiar iron taste invades your mouth once again. 

Sometimes Miguel feels like a hero, shouldering the universe's burdens, and fighting for what's right. After all, with great power comes great responsibility. This is what he wanted, he always wanted to be the hero.

But sometimes when the spider's lair is abandoned and he returns home to you, he can't help but feel like the villain. He's protecting you he knows that. Justifying it is easy when you watch dimensions wither away in violent glitching and endless screams, daily. Yet he wonders if his predecessors were ever like this. If the heroes are supposed to keep their lovers locked away. Alone yet safe. A fair trade in his mind. 

Miguel isn't quite human, half-everlasting and half-horror. 

A dangerous combination

Or at least a confusing one. 

The point is he's some sort of hero. But that also means he's some sort of villain. Even the old tales got things wrong, not every superhero is carved from porcelain and ivory. Not every villain is built from ash and rage.  

Sometimes heroes are carved from gravestone granite and glazed with poison. Sometimes their powers are self-inflicted curses that chew away at flesh and bone. sometimes the hero's halo is made of barbed wire digging into his scalp and embittering his thoughts. Sometimes heroes kill themselves before any villain gets the chance. Spitling their body apart a million times a day because destiny decided to play a cruel joke on them. Picking the weakest of all mankind to become its guardian. 

When he pulls away from the kiss, he lifts your hand to his mouth. 

His fangs sink into your finger puncturing bone as he gnaws the stress away. Blood leaks down his chin, spilling over the rooftop. He pulls your body closer. An anchor in a never-ending storm. 

You kiss his chin, looking into his eyes. Eyes that can never choose whether they wish to be human or monster. Your head instinctively finds his chest nestling into the cold metal of his suit. 

Oh, how you wish you could crack his rib cage open and crawl inside. 

Sometimes you think back to the original tales. The ones from your dimension, albeit it seems that -regardless of a few rare exceptions- the stories are consistent in every universe.  

The story always goes the same. Peter Parker falls in love with MJ or Gwen, you've come to learn that in the long run, it doesn't really matter. Spiderman saves them again and again. Until the whole world knows that Mj or Gwen are somehow connected to the masked hero. But never once does she leave his side. Rebellious blond or dotting redhead, Spiderman's lover stays regardless of how desperate and vicious the villains become when they start to learn that the story always ends in the hero's favor. 

It's every gal's dream to be the lover of a superhero. Awaiting their betrothed's triumphant return. Greeting them with amorous tidings and cherry red kisses. 

You think you're Gwen or Mary Jane. Or whoever else decided to fall in love with the troubled boy who has radioactivity coursing through his veins. The boy who was deemed a hero and thus was destroyed because of it.

Of course, there's the other part. The underlying message of the story, that parents all so conveniently 'forget' to tell their children. The disease of the otherwise perfect tale. They forget to tell you that Gwen Stacy fell to her death and Mary Jane is left abandoned, once the hero realizes that his mere presence is a curse. Stories may end in the hero's favor but much like the villain the lover is also doomed by the narrative. That's normal for any hero's lover. They always burn out to cater to the hero's ever-fuming torch of justice.

you feel broken, as you're sure they did too. An unspoken rule of being with a hero is that eventually, you start to lose your sense of self without them. It doesn't make sense when you put it like that but along the way bits and piece of you broke off. Pieces that you forgot to patch up. You've been mending by using segments of Miguel to make yourself feel whole again. It's a small miracle that you still hold a fading memory of whom you used to be before he made you his. A miracle that sweeps through the cracks of your soul. 

Heroes never need to fear death, just an eternity of pain. Losing everyone they love, over and over again. Maybe that's why Miguel's grip is so suffocatingly tight. He knows that eventually, not today and maybe not tomorrow but eventually he's going to lose you too. 

You're a comic book Juliet and he's Romeo with superpowers. Everyone knows that comic book heroes are doomed from the start. Neither you nor Miguel are exceptions. 

Maybe the two of you are doomed by the narrative.

But for tonight, as the moon slowly sinks behind the skyscrapers and the stars fade one by one. The two of you are safe in each other's arms. 

[calmcoldevening]

I’m begging you for a part 2 of the knowing the slashers when they were younger fic where they meet when they’re older if you’re up for it ofc🙏

You knew slashers when you were a child and now you grow up and met them

Characters: Thomas Hewitt, Brahms Heelshire, brothers Sinclair

TW: mention of blood, violence, stockholm syndrome.

Ps: english is not my native language, so sorry for misspells. And also i really didn't know what I needed to write about Sinclair, because i need to rewatch the movie to remember their characters, so i didn't write about them. I hope you'll enjoy our sweet Tommy and baby boy Brahms

Part one ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Thomas Hewitt

You just recently graduated from college and decided to celebrate it with a trip with your friends to one of the US states. The choice fell on Texas. You still had pleasant memories of your school life in this place in your heart, and your heart ached at the thought of how soon you left your hometown. Not that you would call these people friends, but you were good acquaintances and helped each other with tasks. And so you packed your bags and within half an hour you were all driving together in a small SUV. The boyfriend of one of your 'friends' (Jessica) was driving. He was a good man, although he joked about unpleasant topics from time to time. But you turned a blind eye to it. In the end, you will finally find yourself back in the good old Texas.

The road was long, so you had a lot of time to think. You were sitting in the farthest seat, staring into space and slowly stroking an old, slightly battered fox toy with your hand. Your thoughts revolved around one person. That shy little boy you had such a happy conversation with years ago. It was your first memorable friend. You no longer had friends who could surpass sweet Tommy.

Finally, the car turned at a sign with the inscription of a city you know. Your heart started beating faster and you couldn't suppress a smile in anticipation. Soon you will see him again, a sweet shy boy. Although now it will probably be a guy, after all, it's been almost twelve years. This figure was almost painful.

The Texas landscape flowed like a soft canvas on the other side of the window, the sun mercilessly burned his eyes, refracting through the glass. It was hot and stuffy. You're lucky to get into one of the hottest periods in Texas. This place has changed somewhat, although it remains the same as you remembered it. The once small plantings have now turned into real tall trees, although they did not save much from the sultry sun. The wheels of the car turned quickly on turns with an unpleasant sound, raising a cloud of dust behind them. Jessica's boyfriend, Tim, apparently loved playing racer very much, even on the main state road.

By all the laws of luck, Tim abruptly informed you that you were running out of gas. There was a gas station nearby. You entered a small diner next to the gas station, and your heart instantly warmed up. It was that sweet woman, Thomas's mom. Luda-May, isn't that right?

"Hello, Luda," you say with a slight smile, approaching the cash register. The woman looks up at you with a frown, peering at your appearance for a few seconds. Finally, recognition seemed to flash across her face.

"Y/N?" She asks dryly, her voice a little rougher than what you remember from childhood. You nod in response. A warm smile appears on Mrs. Hewitt's face and she hurries out from behind the counter, wrapping you in a gentle, almost maternal embrace. "God, girl.. I never thought I'd see you again. You've grown up so much."

"I'm so sorry that I left so quickly. It was my parents' idea, not mine."

"I understand, honey, don't worry. We've all missed you. Especially Tommy."

The mere mention of his name makes your heart ache. Tommy... You haven't seen him for so long. Your heart yearned for those beloved cornflower blue eyes. You reluctantly pull away from the cozy embrace of Luda, your hand reflexively reaches for your hair, removing a stray strand from your face when you understand the look at a woman.

"You still live there, don't you? Can I see him?"

"Of course, my girl. I've just finished. Hoyt should be arriving soon."

Hoyt? Your brain was carefully trying to find at least one mention of that name in your memory, but nothing came to mind. Strange. Although it may be one of their relatives or friends, after all, you haven't been here for too long, it couldn't have stayed the same, could it?

What was your surprise when that Hoyt turned out to be old Charlie. Although his appearance was now quite pretentious: sheriff's clothes, hat and badge. Something was wrong. This man has been lazy all his life, he could not suddenly decide to go to work in a place related to healthcare. But you chose to remain silent. Hoyt didn't seem to recognize you. When he saw your friends, he invited them to go with them, saying that he had a can of gasoline at home.

"Take the guys, and then you'll come for us. I don't think the sheriff's car can hold that many people," Luda intervened, grabbing your arm protectively. It's got you a little stressed out. Although there was some truth in her words. Five former students came with you, all of them obviously wouldn't have gotten into Charlie's car. The man wanted to say something, but gave up, nodding to the woman.

And so they left. All that time, Luda was asking about your life, enjoying listening to stories from college. She was more interested in this than your own parents. And now Hoyt is back. He was in high spirits. You got to the Hewitt house safely. As a child, as now, the building was still huge for you. Luda carefully led you into the kitchen, offering you tea. God, you've missed this place.

"Tommy! Come here, we have guests," Luda shouted and you heard hurried rustles and heavy footsteps from the basement.

It made you tense up a little bit. Finally, a couple of minutes later, a tall man, the size of an entire closet, entered the kitchen. Your blood turned cold. You slowly looked up. A long, tall body, wavy dark hair and a leather mask on his face. He frowns down at you, seeming to evaluate you with his cold blue eyes.

"Tommy?" As if nothing had happened, Luda-Mae asks in a cheerful voice, "Do you remember Y/N?"

It seemed that at that moment the gears were turning in his head. You needed time to think about it too. Was this huge man Thomas? No, of course, Tommy was a bit of a big kid as a kid, but he was still quite small. The only thing that attracted attention was his bandage on his face. Now it has been replaced by a strange leather mask.

You didn't even have time to think, as careful footsteps were heard from the basement. It seemed, but Tommy and none of the People were found at first. And Tim appeared behind Thomas. God, he was covered in blood and his back was bleeding. Your face is filled with pure horror. And that gave Tim away. Thomas notices your fear and turns around, immediately grabbing Tim roughly and dragging him back to the basement. Your brain screamed like a hunted animal that you needed to get out of here and urgently. Something has happened to this family, something bad, since they communicate with other people like that. But as soon as you tried to run to the exit, at that moment you were hit by something heavy on the back of the head.

His heart ached for you. You were the first person who ever showed him kindness in your life, and now you will surely be afraid of him. God, he wouldn't want to see fear in your beautiful eyes when you're afraid of him. His body was filled with an unpleasant feeling of disappointment and pain. He didn't want that, really. But he wanted to keep you by his side, he didn't want to let you go again. And he didn't want you to hurt the family. So now he was gently wiping the remnants of blood from your beautiful face, tucking stray strands of hair behind your ear. You were still as beautiful, his heart began to beat faster, as it did when he was a child. He saw that toy in your friends' car, you kept it all these years. Thomas couldn't help but smile. Maybe you loved him too? Not now, not after what he did.

The following days were a blur. Your head ached, and an unpleasant heaviness tightened your neck. They put you on a chain. Thomas or Luda would check on you from time to time, Luda would just leave food, and Thomas would just sit on the bed next to you and just look at you. Sometimes he would try to touch you, but you would instantly jump aside like a wounded animal. Thomas's heart ached painfully in his chest. Although.. He deserved it, didn't he? All his life he was looked at with disgust or fear. But he didn't care about those people. All these simple passers-by or victims were just empty meat. But you were afraid of him now. He couldn't stand your gaze, full of fear for your life, so he left the room every time, unable to look in your eyes.

The days slowly followed each other. You were still afraid. But there was something else. Whenever Thomas enters the room, your eyes involuntarily glided over his big strong body. You wanted to snuggle up to him, find comfort in his arms. But there was a part of you that knew it was wrong. They killed people, they killed your friends. They chained you up and kept you here like some kind of dog. And yet your body was begging for his warmth, just like when you were a child.

What was Thomas's surprise when the next time he came into the room, you crawled closer to him, asking for a hug. Your arms clumsily wrapped around his body. Thomas blushed instantly. His heart felt so good. He gently grabbed you by the hips, putting you on his lap, and hugging your fragile body with his strong arms. He buried his nose in your hair. How he missed that feeling. His brain was filled with the scent of your skin. Thomas let out a relieved whimper as you began to gently run your fingers through his tangled hair.

He never left you, he won't let you go into this cruel world again. He will protect you with all his heart. His sweet girl.

Brahms Heelshire

"Now I've won," the man says in a hoarse voice through his cracked porcelain mask with a doll's face.

He was breathing heavily, hanging over you, his left hand pressed against the wall behind you, while the other reached out to your face, gently stroking.

"Still beautiful," he whispers, caressing your chin with his thumb, tracing your lower lip with his fingernail. Your heart was pounding wildly, you shrank under the man's gaze like a frightened animal. His movements were rough, but his touch seemed almost gentle, as if he didn't want to disrupt this moment or harm your fragile being. His breathing was loud and heavy because of the mask, and the skin under his eyes was slightly reddened. And those eyes. Those warm eyes are the color of pure amber under the bright sun. They looked at you with extraordinary affection and humility. You could recognize those eyes out of a thousand. Like back then, fifteen years ago.

You nervously clutched the steering wheel rim with your right hand, counting the turns. Not so long ago, you managed to get a new job, and who would have thought that this job would be in your childhood home. Or rather, your friend. They always treated you like their own child, so they gave you this job without any problems.

The weather was clear, it was only the beginning of autumn. Some of the trees have already turned golden, their leaves rustling unobtrusively. The sky was clear, without a single cloud, so the sun shone brightly through the windshield of your car. It seemed that nothing could spoil your return to your childhood home.

Your heart was beating fast in your chest. The mind was filled with thousands of pleasant memories of your past together and children's laughter. You missed Brahms so much. It's been a long time since you've seen him.

Finally, after a couple of long hours, you arrived at the Hilsher estate. It remained the same. Obviously, Mr. Heelshire was still carefully tending the garden, growing his wife's favorite flowers. You stopped right next to the driveway, the wheels moving pleasantly on the gravel. After getting out of the car, you went inside without thinking twice. The greenery of this place has always been striking in its beauty, it seemed that no seasons had power over this place, the forests of the estate still gave pleasure with their emerald color and the coolness of the dense grove.

You were met at the very door by Mrs. Heelshire. She has changed a lot since your last visit, of course, the years take their toll. Her eyes were a little red and tired, and there were small bruises under them. Her face was unusually pale and her hair was gray, but not as when it happens from age, but when a person goes through a lot of life difficulties and faces stress.

"Honey, I haven't seen you for so long," the woman said smiling, wrapping you in a warm embrace. Her hugs were pleasant, but strangely nervous, "We were surprised when we received your candidacy for this job."

"I just really wanted to come back. My parents wouldn't let me go just like that."

"And for good reason," the woman mutters to herself, immediately turning to face you with a warm smile, "We always want only the best for you, my girl, don't hold a grudge against us."

Her words strain you a little, but you attribute it to her slight excitement before the long-awaited vacation. After all, for as long as you can remember, Mrs. Heelshire has always been a caring and hardworking woman, she didn't know the word 'rest'.

After ten tedious minutes, Mrs. Heelshire explains to you the set of rules and your responsibilities. It seemed like she was trying in a hurry to tell you everything at once. Her eyes were constantly darting around the walls of the house.

And now you're alone. Taking care of the doll was not so difficult. Although you still didn't understand why the doll had the name of your childhood best friend. No one's parents told you what happened to Brahms, you just moved in a couple of days before his birthday. You didn't even have time to give him the gift you made with your own hands. Years later, you felt guilty about it. But now, that feeling seemed to be gone. It feels like you're finally in your place. You're home.

It happened two weeks after your arrival at the manor. As usual, you were sorting out the groceries that Malcolm brought while the man was standing next to you, leaning against the doorjamb. He was watching you carefully, talking about something. To be honest, you've noticed for a long time how ambiguously he looks at you. All those jokes, compliments, touches and glances. He was flirting with you. But you could definitely tell that he wasn't your type. Damn it, he was overconfident. But in a relationship, you wanted to 'be at the helm', you wanted a guy with character, but definitely obedient. And Malcolm definitely didn't fit that description.

"..hey, can you leave this doll after all? Let's go to my place. I'll show you a lot of interesting things," he says with a sly grin, taking a few steps closer.

"The Heelshirs left me here for a reason, I don't want to undermine their trust."

"Come on, do you really want to spend the rest of your life in a house with just this doll?" The guy purrs, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his nose in your neck. You are annoyed by his behavior and you step on Malcolm's foot with force. He hisses and quickly pulls away. "Fuck, are you stupid?"

"Watch your mouth, boy."

Malcolm tenses up. He hears rapid rustling in the walls, his eyes darting around the room.

"The hell with you," he finally gives up. Malcolm grabs the empty boxes and leaves the house, slamming the door behind him. You're relieved. He seems to be a man, but he behaves like a scared boy.

"Y/N.. Did he hurt you?" A small child's voice comes from somewhere in the hallway. You flinch a little. You knew that voice. Brahms. True, his voice was a little different in childhood, now it was quieter and plaintive. You quickly close the refrigerator and slowly walk towards the source of the sound.

"Who's here? Brahms?"

It all happened too fast. At first, you were driven by interest with a little bit of fear. In an instant, you saw a tall, broad figure towering over you by a good two heads. You were scared. You ran away, hoping to hide from a stranger. And one day you were pinned against the wall by a muscular figure.

"Y/N, don't be afraid... I didn't mean to scare you." A child's voice mumbles plaintively. You look into those hazel eyes and your heart sinks.

"Brahms?" In response, the man only reaches out to your face, gently caressing your cheek.

"Now I've won." His voice changes. Instead of a child's voice, a low, hoarse voice now caresses your ears. You feel electricity running down your spine, you instinctively squeeze your hips.

Your hands reach for the porcelain mask, but Brahms abruptly pulls away. He shakes his head negatively. He didn't want you to see his face. He doesn't want you to be scared. He doesn't want you to leave him like the others.

"Come on, Brahms. You're a good boy. Didn't you love kissing?" You speak with a slight smile. A long-drawn-out whine comes from under the mask. He nods briefly. You lift the edge of the mask, covering his hot lips with your own. Brahms's movements are fast and assertive, he bites your lips, squeezing your waist in his hands. He missed you so much.

[sunflowerhae]

Ch. 17 FTCU by Nicki Minaj

Haechan stands beside you, feeling like he’s on cloud 9 as he sways to the beat of the drums. Here he was with all his best friends, watching a free show for a famous artist with a model, two youtubers, and you - his idol and crush..and friend. If you had told Haechan he would be in this position 6 months ago, he probably would have laughed in your face and told you to get fucked. But regardless of that, here he stands, right by you. Typically, when you’re in a room with him, haechan can’t help his eyes from casting their long gaze towards your face. It’s almost instinct on his part; a primal part of him that can’t keep his attention away from you for more than a minute. Even now, as Mark pulls him away to ask him something along with Jaemin (the two seem to be getting on just peachy) he still is acutely aware of every movement you make.

You couldn’t stop yourself from crying.

Watching your best friend of 5 years complete a life dream of hers by finishing a world tour is not a sentence one says everyday, so when you watch Giselle finish her final monologue to the crowd and transition into her second to last song from your spot in the balcony room, you can’t stop the tears that threaten to spill. You look around briefly, noticing that haechan left his place beside you in favor of Mark and Jaemin. You try your hardest to hide the pout that makes its way to your face, shaking off the sick feeling that grows in your stomach from haechan stepping away.

It’s just a stupid crush, y/n.

Can you be blamed, though? In the 6 odd months that you’ve lived in your apartment building - sharing a wall with the boy your eyes can’t leave - Haechan has somehow found a way to nuzzle himself into your heart, setting up camp and using pieces of your sanity to make a tent. Whenever your expectations dip and you try to rationalize your friendship with him, Haechan turns around and exceeds your needs tenfold. It’s almost like the boy knows everything about you, with how much he gets right. He always seems so…aware of what you want and how to get it.

You don’t realize you’re staring until your line of sight is cut off. Looking at the face of the person who stepped next to you, Karina is smiling back while holding out a beer for you to take. “Well, they seem pretty happy right now,” she gestures behind you as you take the beer from her hands. Turning around, you see Winter trapped in Jeno’s arms, swaying to the music as he whispers something in her ear that has her throwing her head back in laughter. You sigh, jealously creeping into your heart at your best friend’s love.

“Yeah, they’re usually like that. Although it’s gotten worse recently, I will say,” you say while laughing, turning back around to see Karina doing the same, “I can’t be mad when I see them, though - just jealous.”

Karina quips her brow up at you, “no one special in your life, y/n?” You look back at her in surpise, which she seems to take as anger, “not like you don’t have anyone special or anything! Just, are you single is all I mean..” she trails off, obviously experiencing a severe case of foot in mouth syndrome. Karina internally hits herself on the head - she really liked you and your friends, and although she would never admit it she can’t help but feel intimidated by all of you. She would hate to ruin the chance of friendship with her bluntness that people typically aren’t fans of. Before she can apologize, she is surprised when you start laughing.

“No, no! You’re okay don’t worry I got what you meant. No, nobody special right now. But with my schedule it probably wouldn’t work out. Any free time I have is usually spent being lazy, or satisfying haechan and his need for attention.” You laugh while rolling your eyes playfully. Just then, the spot to your right is taken by Ningning. You liked her, she was so sweet and you couldn’t help but find her love for coffee endearing. When she told you about her desire to open her own coffee shop, you saw a lot of yourself in her; a girl with dreams who wants to be her own boss. As if feeling a kinship between the two of you, her presence eases away some awkwardness you felt almost immediately.

“Ahh yes, we know a lot about Haechan’s neediness. It’s nice having you around because you take a lot of heat off of our shoulders!” She exclaims, which causes the three of you to go into a fit of giggles, your heart growing warmer thinking about the boy so easily replacing them with you - it’s nice to feel so wanted.

“Oh yeah, I get it. I told him the other day he uses me like a girlfriend or something,” you recount the day, trailing off somewhat awkwardly as you remembered the embarrassment that followed from that sentence leaving your mouth. While you and Haechan played with each other freely, not really having filters in what you’ll say, that one took the cake and you couldn’t help but feel a little proud, as it was the first thing you’ve ever said that left the tanned boy completely silent. The two don’t seem to notice your sudden uncomfortable nature, or if they do they don’t acknowledge it. You watch Karina’s eyes go wide as she smiles,

“Oh my god remember when we met and you thought I was Haechan’s girlfriend!” The two of you laugh while Ningning seems surprised.

“Wait, what? Did I miss something? I didn’t know you guys have met before…” Ningning seemed somewhat betrayed as she stared at the both of you with wide eyes.

“Ning I’ve told you about this, girl! Y/n thought me and Haechan were together when I was there one day to study with him,”

“-yeah it was just a misunderstanding. Haechan cleared it up though!” You finished, nodding a bit as you watched Ningning’s gears turning in her head. Her eyes go light as she bursts out in laughter, picturing something funny in her head.

“God - imagine Karina and Haechan! I know for a fact Karina would never go for him, right? And vice versa too, you’re just not his type - no offense though,” she pouts at Karina, the former rolling her eyes as she tunes out the conversation and focuses on Giselles music. You find yourself hyper aware of this conversation, oddly invested. You also note that Ningning is on her third beer, and is slightly more intoxicated than you. “But it wouldn’t matter regardless!”

“Why not?” You press, instinctively leaning closer into the brown haired girl as she takes another swig of her beer before continuing her thought.

“Well, haechan has a really big crush on this girl he knows, so he would never go for Karina!” You can see the realization sink into Ningning’s eyes as she processes her own word vomit. Karina, having heard just the tail end of your conversation, snaps her head over to the two of you - suddenly becoming an active listener in this doomed interaction.

You’re not sure if your face showed it, the devastation. Maybe you liked Haechan a lot more than even you realized, because at the mention of some random girl he seemingly liked, your stomach felt as if it had been sucker punched by a WWA fighter. You tried your hardest not to wear your heart on your sleeve, just giving a slight nod and a deflated, “oh, that’s cool…”

Yeah, good job with that y/n.

Ningning can see your disappointment, even if she doesn’t understand it. Maybe you’re upset that Haechan didn’t tell you? Of course, why would he tell you - it’s you that he likes. But, you don’t know that, so of course it would upset you. She realizes that she needs to cover her tracks, at the very least so you don’t go moping to Haechan and get her in trouble.

Giselle ends her second to last song and fades into her final and most popular, the crowd screaming while Ningning actively leans in closer to you to make a point to say, “well he likes her but she doesn’t really know so there’s probably not a great chance for them! But you should ask Haechan about it - I mean he’ll definitely tell you because he’s like obsessed with you. NOT IN A WEIRD WAY or anything! Just like..normal obsessed like how people are obsessed with their friends! But like yeah that girl he’s OBSESSED with in a romantic way and he really wants her he talks about her like alll the time..BUT yeah you should ask him if you don’t know because he’ll definitely tell you about it yknow..haha yeah..anyway I’m gonna go get some water BYE Y/N!” And with that, she quickly retreats to the snack table, hitting herself on the head as she realizes she just made things much much worse. With a sigh, you turn back to the concert. Karina gives you a look of confusion, not having heard the last thing Ningning said over the crowd screaming. You shake your head with a small smile, trying to act like it’s all cool, trying to act like your heart isn’t breaking.

Haechan likes someone. He likes a girl and he didn’t even tell you. You’ve gotten to know him so much over the last 6 months, you hang out almost every day and tell each other everything. He’s been in multiple videos now and the fans love him. You eat dinner together all the time and have a tv show that you watch together and get mad at each other if someone watches ahead. Haechan is your everything, and he didn’t even tell you he had a crush on another girl.

Giselle and winter were right, you should have never gotten this involved with him. You should have protected your heart and realized you cannot date your neighbor. There’s so much you should have done, but as you turn your head and lock eyes with his brown gaze - he grins at you in a boyish manner like the both of you have a secret that only you two know - you don’t think it was ever possible to not get this far with him. Haechan has possessed your mind and heart completely, and you let him.

What a stupid crush, y/n.

GG! (Good Game!) 👾

Notes: yay everyone met‼️ guys it’s getting spicccyyyy

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[yanderehsr]

Hi, how are you doing so far? Of that okay, can I please have how yan Natasha, Himeko, and Kafka would react that their darling become attached to them? Not only that, but the reader would also miss them when they will be at work for too long. And how would they comfort their darling who would feel lonely at times?

I hope you'll enjoy😄

Trigger Warning: Yandere, Obsessive behaviour, Possessive behaviour, Kidnapped reader, Isolation, Stockholm syndrome

Natasha: She will be suspicious for a while, you could just pretend to have fallen for her, just so you could escape, it takes time before she believes that you truly love her, but when you allow her to touch you, to hug you, to do everything she ever dreamed of doing with you, how can she not believe it.

Natasha works almost all day every day, she comes home late, of course you miss her a lot. She is tired after working all day, but even though she is tired she will always have time and energy to comfort you and make you feel loved, it's usually cuddles until you both fall asleep.

"Did you miss me, maybe I should have come home earlier"

Himeko: She is over the moon when you return her affections, you give her an inch and she will take a mile, she wont allow you to back down, if you say you love her then nothing you say will change that fact in her mind. She loves it when you return her hugs, when you kiss her back and when you talk so happily to her so she can hear your lovely voice.

Miss her? Himeko rarely leaves the astral express, when would you get time to miss her. Oh, she gets it, even being apart from her for more than seconds feels like an eternity, she feels the same so don't worry. After you return her affections, she might even unlock the door and let you walk around the astral express.

"I will trust you, okay. You may walk around the express, but you may not leave, understood"

Kafka: Her heart actually skipped a beat when you gave her a hug for the first time, she has this smile on her face that looks different, it looks genuine. Finally, it took long enough, but Kafka was patient, finally you return her love. If she was touchy before, she is all over you now.

You will miss her, she usually gets long missions by Elio, and she can be gone for months. Kafka may even extend the mission, just to come home later, make you feel extra needy for her affection, it's as they say, Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

"You missed me didn't you, but don't worry. Now that you realise that you are all mine, I will give you as much love as you can take and more"

[strawberrynightmare]

Chifuyu, Kazutora, Yuzuha, Sanzu & Kakucho celebrating their s/o's birthday

Content warning: A tiny little bit of violence

Chifuyu

~Baby. 

~He’ll literally show up in the evening of the day prior with a full backpack and announce that you’re having a sleepover. He’s already brought mangas, food, his hoodie that you like…

~”What do you mean, ‘why, all of a sudden?’ It’s your birthday tomorrow! Which means that we’ve gotta celebrate as early as possible.” He began to unpack. “I wanna be the first to congratulate you on your birthday.”

~He’ll look at you with puppy eyes and pout until you agree. 

~You’re gonna watch serials, do facemasks, eat snacks and read manga together. And it’s not even your birthday yet. And you bet he’ll absolutely spoil you. Like, each time you get up to do get yourself something to drink/eat or anything at all, he’s pressing down on your shoulders to get you back down and runs to get it for you even if you insist that it’s unnecessary. He’s having none of that. 

~Somehow knows how to best keep you awake until midnight and starts counting as if it was a new year’s eve a few seconds before the clock strikes twelve. He’s even more excited than for the new year though. He’s actually screaming out the last few seconds and yells “HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE” when it’s finally time. 

~After that, you soon begin to drowsy and end up falling asleep cuddled together with some movie playing in the background. 

~Wakes up before you and makes you breakfast even though he’s already done enough 🥺

~DO NOT LET GO OF HIM. EVER.

~As for the rest of the day, he probably has everything planned. For the whole month before, he’d note down everything and everywhere you look at or mention and takes you there exactly. I feel like he’d make you a shirt with a cringe logo and then make himself a matching one and demand that the two of you wear it together. 

~I feel like he’d collect things that remind him of you when he sees them, then puts them in a bag and give them to you. Your gift comes out as a gathering of different trinkets, each one charming and unique in their own way. 

~Plans out so many amazing things but gets incredibly flustered when you thank him and claims that he didn’t even do anything. 

~Gets the cake from your favourite bakery and treats you to anything else you want to eat. Literally makes you feel like the best person in the world and if you refuse to let him buy you stuff, he ignores you entirely and asks where do you want to go next. 

~Panics if anything goes wrong or you even look not happy enough to him. Even if you’re just quietly enjoying yourself or do not mind a sudden change of plans at all.

~”I don’t care about where we go as long as we get to spend time together, Chifuyu.

~Ok now you broke him. He is malfunctioning, there is steam coming out of his ears and he’s completely red. Stands still in the middle of wherever you are and spends a good while with his face in his hands while you rub his back because god, he feels the same but now that you put it in words his heart is beating so fast it’s like he’s getting a positive heart attack more like happy heart syndrome and is going to die from happiness. 

~Clings to you for the rest of the day. You come home exhausted, but content and fall asleep almost immediately.

~Marry him.

Kazutora

~You are spending your birthday with him and him alone. No buts. He’s gonna ensure that by coming to your house early in the morning. He’ll furiously ring the doorbell until you wake up, get up and open up. 

~And just as you’re about to get mad because who the hell dares to wake you up at this ungodly hour, you’re greeted with the sight of your smiling boyfriend wishing you happy birthday with birthday cake in one hand and a bag with the other and you feel the anger escaping your body like air out of a balloon someone pricked with a needle. 

~Your anger… He sure does know how to ease it. Suddenly you don’t even remember the reason for your annoyance. 

~He’ll sing you happy birthday while you’re sitting on the sofa, still half asleep. And then he’ll hand you the bag with something expensive you’ve been eyeing during your last shopping trip. 

“You didn’t steal this, right?”

“Right, Kazutora?”

(._.)

~Refuses to leave your side as if his life depended on it. Almost everywhere you go, he follows you. Someone could think that there’s an invisible string connecting him with you, not allowing him to separate himself from you further than three metres away. 

~He’ll sit behind you and brush your hair while you get to eat cake for breakfast. After all, why not? He’s nowhere near strict enough to tell you to eat something healthy first. He says he doesn’t want anything to eat, but the moment you try to spoon-feed him, he’s suddenly starving. 

~After you’re awake enough and finished with eating, he’ll drag you out. And it does not matter that you’re still in your pyjamas, he’ll say that it’s clothes like any other but he’ll wait for you to change if you insist.  

~He probably bought tickets to barbie a movie you were hyped up for and he’ll take you to the cinema. Except he does not watch it at all and instead, he uses your distraction to stare at you all he wants, but then he genuinely gets invested in the story line and both of you leave with tears in your eyes and wobbly lips okay but imagine the both of you crying into the other’s arm and comforting each other while looking like absolute idiots

~So to calm down, you decide to go somewhere quiet and peaceful and settle for laying down on the grass of some park or a meadow and look at the sky and talk about everything that you can think about or just exist and decompose in complete silence. Or both.  But of course, not without him gradually shifting closer to you until he’s completely glued to your side and nuzzling his head into your neck. You may or may not end up play-fighting with him because it’s your birthday and it should be you getting to cuddle him all you want. The solution is the two of you holding the other as close as possible, literally melting together. 

~By the time you’re finished, the two of you will probably be hungry again so you go for a proper dinner in a bar for some soup™ and fries and you’re ready to go but not without him stealing food from your plate while looking you straight in the eye. 

~I’ll be honest with ya, he probably called for an emergency meeting with Baji and Chifuyu a few days prior. They rushed to his house upon hearing how panicked and downright frantic he sounded. And what does it turn out to be? Him stressing out over his lover’s birthday. And so, they begin to combine the few brain cells they have left after beating him up a bit for worrying them and figure out where he can take you. It does take them a few hours, but Baji eventually figures out that… His friend should take you somewhere you like!

~It was actually Chifuyu who contacted Takemitchy and gave him clearer ideas. 

~He silently thanks them as he sees you having fun during the day and coming home exhausted but happy. You two finish the day with cuddling together under a blanket and watching a movie, but you end up falling asleep midway. 

~He’s a bit confused, but he’s got the spirit!

Yuzuha

~She’s pretty chill about it. Probably the chillest out of all of the people in this fic.

~Sets up a date on her calendar and casually asks you about what you would like for your birthday. She’s a straightforward person so a straightforward reply would be the most convenient for her, if you give it, she’ll give you just that with some small additions. If you’re not sure, she’ll opt for practical stuff she can actually picture you using, like a nice box, mouse pad, hairbrush and snacks. 

~And she wouldn’t be all for celebrating on the exact day. She would send you wishes, yes, but for a full celebration, she’d probably schedule a saturday or a sunday so that you have lots of time to do nothing. 

~She’ll show up at your door in the late morning with the present and ask if you want to hang out (the only correct answer is yes). If you have anywhere you want to go in particular, that’s where you’re going, if not, she’ll take you straight to her house.

~Hakkai was probably chased away beforehand and is now having his own sleepover with his Toman buddies.

~There will already be a few bowls with crisps, jelly, chocolates and cookies ready on the table. Make yourself comfortable because this will be the chillest day of your life. 

~You’ll probably be binge watching a series you’ve been planning to watch for a long time, but there was never the right moment. Well, there is. Now. And she’ll probably use the opportunity to have an arm around your shoulders or waist as both of you comment your thoughts and theories about what’s gonna happen next. 

~If you agree, she’ll play with/braid/brush your hair since she can never seem to get enough of it (which is totally not an excuse for her to have you sit on her lap. Not at all). It feels so relaxing to have her fingers graze your scalp, it might become hard to focus.  Oce she’s done, she’ll rest her head on your shoulder and breathe in your scent. 

~Surprisingly or not, Yuzuha does not mind gossiping. You might end up playing out little satire scenes to mock the demeanours of your teachers and annoying classmates. And it’s twice as fun since she’s both well oriented in ordinary stuff and gang oriented business as well. 

~Don’t count on any proper meals when you can have pizza. Your girlfriend argues that since these are usually things people don’t eat because they don’t consider them healthy, now you can loosen up and do everything you usually wouldn’t allow yourself to. 

~Same with going to sleep at a reasonable hour. You’re gonna get so invested in gaming together with her, you won’t even notice what hour this is until you glance at the clock and see 1am. 

~You’d probably get a random idea to download some ikemen otome game and play it for fun while continuously making fun of the love interests and their cringe lines. 

~You don’t really “go” to sleep, rather, one of you dozes off at some point and the other turns off the devices and lays next to them. You aren’t necessarily cuddling, but you sure as hell are touching each other in some way. 

Sanzu

~According to his heroic/failure story, as a gift, he’ll probably beat up some people you dislike, shave off their hair and present them to you, records as he pushes them down the stairs or makes them write a 2 000 word essay on how they are shitty people, apologise for it at least ten times and say that they were wrong while begging for forgiveness while he holds a knife to their throat. They probably won’t know who they are apologising to in the first place since he doesn’t want to get you in trouble.

~Whether you like it or not is up to you 👀

~If you appreciate it, he’ll be over the moon. If not, he’ll just scratch his head and give you some random thing he saw in the shop that reminded him of you for some reason. 

~Your friends do not exist to him. He's kidnapping you for the day.

~First things first, asks you where you want to go. If it’s shopping, he’ll carry your bags. If it’s eating, he’ll order you lots of food and insist that you should try a little bit of everything. If it’s arcade, he’ll cheer on you, try to win rewards or play with you if it’s a multiplayer game. Or maybe you want to chill in the park? Sure, he’ll just grab a blanket so that you don’t have to worry about bugs. 

~If you have nowhere you want to go, he’ll offer you a tour around the city, so maybe then you would have an idea. He won’t rush you. Truth is, he’s content as it is because he gets to hold your hand as you rant about your day.

~And he is not leaving your side at all. Not to stop to take something out of his bag, not to check anything out, not to take a leaflet from a polite stranger. He’s always right on the edge of your peripheral vision. His constant presence is rather comforting, it’s always easier to move through life when there’s someone to have your back.

~Cannot believe it if anyone is being mean to you. Even if it’s just a rude stranger, it’s his lover’s birthday and he will absolutely not tolerate anyone ruining it. Won’t even think twice about giving them a black eye if they even look at you wrong. But it doesn’t end with a black eye and you might have to drag him away from the almost unconscious person.

~If you prefer to spend time in the comfort of your/his home, then he’ll be a bit more clingy. You’ll probably play the most random game you find on the internet and it will turn out to be surprisingly fun and intense. 

~Similar to Kakucho, but a lot more quiet. He’s just… not sure what to do. He’s used to his sister dragging him around to shop and following her around and holding her bags. It’s useless to resist. So he kind of expects you to behave similarly. Pouts if you don’t let him carry your bags because you can’t be serious. If you insist on taking them even on the way back, he won’t say anything but he’s gonna stare holes into you.

~If you give up and hand them to him, he’ll give you a sweet smile and if you don’t, he’ll surrender. Probably. Some day.

~It will be one of the rare days he asks you if he can stay over. It’s rare of him to suggest it, so you might be a bit taken aback, but it sure is a nice surprise. 

~He’ll guide you to lay your head on his lap while scrolling through his phone and occasionally showing some funny memes or videos to you. 

~Belongs to team take out, you can have it delivered or go over to the nearby shop and get whatever you like. 

~Birthday with Sanzu is just whatever you want it to be. He’s pretty elastic when it comes to this - he’ll adapt to whatever you want to do no matter what this is. Unless it’s something like “Let’s go to Switzerland!” With his arms under your armpits and an uneasy expression, he’ll drag you away from the airport while explaining that there are plenty of things to do in your own country. 

~But that’s the limit, as long as it doesn’t require a passport, he’ll comply with your requests although he might raise a brow at some of them. 

~You might fall asleep at some point since I hc him as a good cuddler.

Kakucho

~He’d ask you to hang out with him the day before your actual birthday so that you have time to meet some other friends then 🥺 Unless you don’t have any other friends or they’re too busy. Then he’ll be happy to spend your special day with you.

~Although he probably won’t be very keen on having a whole party with your friends. He’s kind of set on having you for himself and you having him for yourself for at least a few hours. In a crowd, he won’t fight for your attention, but rather watch over you from the shadows. Always ready to support you no matter what.

~When there’s only the two of you together, first things first he’d ask you where you wanna go. And that’s where you will go. He’s willing to get dragged around the whole Japan if necessary and you won’t hear a word of complaint from him. Your birthday is a “yes” day.

~If you don’t have any ideas, he’ll suggest the places he thought of beforehand. These places will vary depending on your interests and personality. It can be the playground in the local park, a cat cafe, an amusement park, a museum, an arcade etc. No matter which one you pick, you’re gonna have fun with him. His presence just feels so comforting, it makes you feel like you can have the whole world for yourself.

~Might ask you if you’re having fun once or twice if he notices you being too quiet. 

~Rather than choosing a gift for you himself, he’d rather get you something that you mentioned earlier or take you shopping so that you can choose. He might opt for a little handmade trinket he created himself as an addiction to that. And yeah, you guessed it, he doesn’t buy you a birthday cake either. You choose whatever you want to eat and he’ll get it for you. You know best. 

~Even if you thought that he forgot. Yeah no. He probably set up a date on his phone calendar with a reminder a week, 6 days, 5 days, 4 days, 3 days, 2 days and 1 day prior. But he remembers about it two weeks prior and then whenever he gets the notification reminder, he’ll be stressing out about it.  ~Kisses and cuddles! You are special and you should know it. Do you feel bonita? I feel bonita. Wonderful, cuz you are bonita! He’d randomly wrap his arms from behind you and kiss your temple. “Happy birthday, dearest. Have I already told you how much I love you?” And he’s so sweet- hell, he’s always sweet but still, he always manages to make you feel butterflies in your stomach.

[the-kr8tor]

Can you do a period comfort Hobie for fluffy Friday? Like Hobie comforting reader while she has bad cramps or mood swings? Like maybe he buys reader chocolates or makes them himself or something? I have PCOS(poly cystic ovary syndrome) and my period is currently kicking my ass :(

Thank you in advance! I love your work and ttn has me giggling and kicking my feet it’s so lovely :)

Oh I know the feeling 😞 hope you feel better! Thanks for requesting ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, description of pain, FLUFF.

It's Fluffy Friday!

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You groan out when another wave of pain sends you writhing on the bed, sheets crumpled out from under you, blanket kicked to the edge of the bed.

"Hobie!" You whimper out, clutching your stomach, tears prickling in your eyes. You already feel bad yelling his name, mood swings at an all time high, one minute you're clinging to him the next you're pushing him off you.

"Present!" He tries to joke, you meet him with a glare. Hobie winces, maybe he shouldn't have tried his luck. You asked him so nicely to warm up your heating pad. He thought you felt better, you even gave him your best puppy dog eyes and a cute pout to peck his cheek.

Hobie brings the heating pad on your lower stomach, briefly lifting off your shirt. You sigh, pain subsiding.

"'m sorry" you take his hand, "I'm being an asshole"

"What do you mean? You're always an arsehole to me" he tilts his head, trying his luck again at making you smile.

You chuckle softly, "I deserve that. Come here" extending your arms, you scooch a bit to give him space.

He lays next to you, your arm around his back so he doesn't fall off the edge, cheek on his rough jumper. Hobie rests his head on your hair, his long limbs cover your body.

"Yeah? But you're my arsehole" you snort at his efforts at making you smile. Hobie fixes your shirt so that the cold doesn't seep through your skin. "How do you feel now? One to ten?" He snuggles further into you.

"A seven" closing your eyes, you mindlessly play with the frayed edges of his jumper. Pain meds finally work its magic.

"What else do you need? I can quickly swing by and buy you somethin'"

"Just need you" you wait a few beats. "And chocolate" Looking up at him through your lashes, you give him a teasing smile.

"Pssh, how 'bout I make you some?" Hobie softly caresses your arms free of goosebumps.

"You know how to make chocolate?"

"What? Like it's hard?"

"That is the cutest fucking thing ever" you squeeze him, nuzzling your face on his chest. "So punk" murmuring out as you slowly drift off to sleep. "Teach me sometime, please" fighting it off for a few minutes, you kiss the tip of his nose.

"Get some rest and we'll make some" Hobie uses his feet to grab the blanket, laying it on the both of you. Tucking you in, he joins you for a nap.

Sure enough after you woke up, you felt a lot better with help from Hobie. You pestered him into teaching you how to make chocolates. But with the ache coming back, he lets you sit this one out.

"Just sit there and look pretty for me" He lifts you up on the counter effortlessly, hands squeezing your thighs for a moment.

Clutching your heating pad, licking the chocolate covered spoon that he's given you to keep occupied, you watch him whisk away, muscles doing all the work.

"Snack and a show" you tease, eyes glued to his biceps.

Hobie smirks at your comment, taking a small dollop of chocolate on his pinky, wiping it on the tip of your nose.

You laugh, eyes crossing to look at your nose. Retaliating, you do the same, wiping the chocolate on his cheek. He tilts his head mischievously, playfully fighting back.

"Don't even think about it–!" A good amount of melted chocolate smacks you on your forehead.

It's safe to say after your little food fight, the kitchen ends up covered in chocolate. Now you have months worth of it thanks to a miscalculation that you may or may not have done on purpose.

[phantomvegetable]

Unknown x Reader

echo unto an echo NOTE: reader has tourettes in this ficlet. if i have misrepresented the reader in any way, please feel free to correct me. i wanted to be as creative & inclusive as possible here, and i simply think this dynamic would work well :) again, if you have tourettes syndrome and something the reader does or says is not accurate, please feel free to point it out and i will correct it. thank you <3 tw’s: mention of tourettes/tics, tic episodes, strong language, anxiety, my inaccurate knowledge of dbd

“Shit,” You curse under your breath, then again a beat after, “shit. Shit, shit, shit.”

Like a mantra the word continues to roll off of your tongue as you nervously roll your hands, eyes flitting to and fro in the darkness.

This place was unfamiliar—new territory. And, with new territory, meant new danger. New monsters. New fear.

You hadn’t heard a peep from the start of the trial; no ringing bells to alert you that the Wraith was near, no electricity zapping through the air followed by cruel laughter to let you know the Doctor would be after you. The suspense was enough to trigger your lungs into shutting down momentarily, sending you to the ground as you fought against your own body to breathe. You nearly passed out twice. The crows that perched above you seemed to be laughing at your misfortune as they caw, caw, cawed, making your lip curl in a sneer.

“Fuck off,” You told them, “fuck off, fuck off.”

There were only two generators left to fix according to Leon, your rescuer who had found you hyperventilating against a tree. He helped you to your feet, staying with you to make sure you could stand on your own without fainting.

“Do you know what killer we’re facing?” You had asked, disoriented and dizzy. Leon shook his head.

“No..” He sighed, hand on your shoulder. “That’s what worries me.”

You split up after that, having to convince Leon that you would be fine. You wanted to help—you weren’t useless. At your stubbornness, Leon finally relented, informing you that he’d work on finding the other survivors and fixing the next generator they came across while you did the same.

“Be careful,” Were his last words to you before taking off into the trees. And then you were alone again. With as much breath as you could muster, you trekked on, focusing on as many senses as you could to keep yourself grounded. You pulled lyrics from your brain from songs that helped even before the fog, murmuring them under your breath as you stepped over shrubbery. It did little to calm your anxiety, but it was distracting enough.

And then, breakthrough.

The familiar clunking of a generator had your hopes rising, eyes alight as you quickened your pace over to it. Bending down low, you nabbed the wires in hands that shook in tandem with the engine.

“Alright, me,” You exhale, “don’t screw this up.”

You set to work, jammed to your elbows in the machine as you connected plugs, fastened coils, and hot-wired cables. Within five minutes, you successfully have the generator humming with life, ready to lift the gates that would lead you and your teammates to safe haven. You step away from your hard work and dust your hands, but feel a sudden chill race up your spine.

“Excuse me?”

Your heart flies to your throat.

“Ex..cuse… me?” The voice, warbled and inhuman, comes from right behind you. You hear shuffling as it comes closer. “Excuse me…?”

You make the mistake of turning around.

“Excuse me,” You parrot habitually, hands flying to cover your mouth as your eyes trailed up wrinkled skin and mangled bones. Still, muffled, your voice continues to shake as you meet pits-for-eyes, your chin jerking every few seconds, “e-excuse me? Excuse me?”

The thing tilts its head even more, twitching before it drops onto all fours, creeping towards you like some deranged animal. “E..x..cuse me?” It trills as it drags itself closer, forcing you back. “Sorry… is this.. yours?”

Fear possesses your body and tongue. Your thoughts are stampeding a million miles a minute, and you desperately want to run. You begin to rock, whimpers escaping through your nose.

“You.. help?” It asks, hand reaching out to caress your hair. You flinch, eyes squeezing shut as the strands fall through its fingers.

“P-Please,” You croak, finally finding your voice, “s—stop.”

The creature is silent, prompting you to take a peek at it despite every coherent thought pleading you not to. It’s staring at you with an empty expression save for its teeth bared in a permanent, lopsided grin, its body twitching every few moments. Then, it speaks.

“Pl..eeease,” It mimics, trying to match your inflection, “sss…top.” Again, “ple—ase… stop.” And again. “Please.. stop.”

You can’t help but squint at the thing, confusion added on top of terror and adrenaline. Was this thing… copying you? You swallow.

Deciding to test this theory, you pathetically choke, “g-go away.” It shivers.

“Go… away.”

“Go away,” You say again, and it wastes no time.

“Go away.”

You can’t help but force out a laugh of disbelief. It tilts its head, then lets out a terrible, guttural noise—a mix between hissing and gurgling. If that was its attempt at a laugh, you’d prefer for humor to cease to exist so you would never have to hear it again.

A loud buzz cuts through the air, causing the creature to jerk its head at the sound, distracted. Seizing the opportunity, you make a run for it, forcing your legs to push you farther than they ever have. Checking over your shoulder, you find the beast still standing in the same place, watching you. You don’t stop running.

[portagas-chan]

Toji x Reader: Stockholm Syndrome

A/n: Zenin Toji was assigned on a mission to kidnap [L/n] [Y/n] and kill everyone who tries to get in the way of it. This contains swearing and smut.

Toji loved gambling more than anything else. He sat by the bench watching horses racing as he bet on one. Shiu Kong approached him and sat down beside him. "Why do you bother betting on horses when you have never even won before?"

Toji glared at him, "Let me enjoy this in peace."

Shiu lit his cigarette and puffed out smoke, "I've got a job for you. It's worth a lot." Toji grinned, "How much are we talking about?"

"30 million yen," Shiu answered making Toji lick his lips at the price.

"What's it about?"

"It's very simple. You have to kidnap a girl named [L/n] [Y/n], kill everyone who tries to get in the way, and send her to this old rich man. I will give you the address of her workplace. It seems the old man has taken a liking to her and is rather desperate to get her," Shiu explained.

Toji leaned back on the bench and looked up, "So I'm suppose to sell her off to some old perverted filthy rich man trying to get in her pants?"

"That's another way to put it," Shiu looked at him before showing him a picture of [Y/n] and the old man who wants her. Toji grinned widely when he saw how [Y/n] looks like. "No wonder that old man is desperate to get her."

What Toji said made Shiu narrow his eyes at him, "But she's not for you, Toji."

Toji chuckled, "I know, I know."

[Y/n]'s POV

It was late at night and the restaurant is about to be close when another customer came in. He was wearing a black compression shirt with white baggy pants. He had a scar on the corner of his lips.

I approached him and noticed that he was very tall, "I'm sorry sir but the restaurant is about to close."

He looked down at me with a blank face. His cold stare made me shiver for some reason. I didn't know why but I had a bad feeling.

He sighed, "I thought I made it in time." He turned around and left leaving me in confusion.

"I thought he would at least put up a fight," I muttered but shrugged it off and continue to clean up.

I bid my manager farewell and wear my purse as I left the restaurant. I walked alone at night, heading back home when someone grabbed my arm making me halt. My heart was beating so fast. My worse nightmare was coming true.

I turned around to see the same man that I saw before and sighed in relief. "Is there something I can help you with?"

He ignored my question, "Are you [L/n] [Y/n]?"

"Yes, how do you know me?" I raised my eyebrow in suspicion.

He grinned widely, "Good."

"What-" I was cut off when he suddenly picked me up and put me over his shoulder. My eyes widened in fear as I panicked. I was getting kidnapped. I squirmed around trying to get off him but his grip was too strong.

"Let go of me!" I shouted.

I gasped in surprise when he suddenly slapped my ass, "Shut up and do as I say."

"No, let go of me!" I continued to struggle and he rolled his eyes.

He stopped in front of a black car and opened the front seat throwing me inside. He walked over to the driver's seat and sat down. He took out a rope he kept inside his car and tried to tie my hands together.

I struggled pushing him away and I could tell that I was pissing him off. He roughly grabbed the back of my head with a fist full of my hair making me yelp in pain. He slammed his lips onto mine shocking me from his sudden action as I froze on the spot.

He forcefully put his tongue in my mouth and I shut my eyes wanting this to end already. He finally stopped kissing me and I panted for air. He smirked at the sight, "Just be fucking obedient or else it will get worse from here."

I stopped struggling when I saw the look in his eyes. It was filled with lust, frustration and craziness.

He harshly grabbed my cheeks with his hand making me look up at him, "That's a good girl."

He put on my seat belt before putting his own and started driving.

Tears started to form in my eyes before coming out as I quietly sobbed. The whole ride was silent except for the sound of engine and my quiet sobs.

He started, "I've never introduced myself to you, did I? I'm Zenin Toji also known as the Sorcerer Killer. It's nice to meet you, [Y/n]."

I can't believe this man. Is he seriously introducing himself to me in a proper way as if he isn't kidnapping me right now? "It sucks to meet you, Toji."

Toji laughed as if to mock my situation.

"Where are you taking me?" I hesitantly asked.

"You want to know what's going on or you want to find out when you get there?" Toji gave me two choices and obviously I chose the first option.

"The first one," I answered and Toji snickered. "I'm an assassin hired to kidnap you for an old man who's trying to get in your pants. He's filthy rich too!"

I looked at him like he's crazy, "You can't fucking do that to me!"

Toji laughed, "Yes, I can! Do you know how much your pretty little face and that sexy body worth?" He gripped my chin and leaned closer to my face, "30 fucking million yen! Can you believe it?"

"Stop fucking laughing! This isn't funny!" I glared at him.

"Say whatever you want, darling but that money is mine," Toji coldly said without a hint of sympathy.

My face turned into a look of despair when I realize he wasn't going to free me in anyway.

The car stopped in front of a closed gate as a security guard knocked on Toji's window. Toji rolled down the window, "I've got the girl."

"What girl?" The guard asked.

"[Y/n]," Toji smirked and the guard looked at his companion motioning him to open the gate. The gate opened and Toji and drive inside the mansion.

I looked through the window, trying to accept my cruel fate. Toji parked his car and got out of the car. He opened the door to the front seat and leaned inside as he took off my seat belt.

"Get out," He coldly said and I did as he said.

Toji put his arm around my shoulder making sure I won't escape as he walked inside the mansion. My lips trembled as tears threatened to come out. This is it. This is where the happiness of my life ends.

We went inside and saw an old man siting on a very expensive fancy-looking couch surrounded by bodyguards.

I grimaced at the sight of the old man. He was a disgusting perverted ugly fat pig. I really don't want to be sold off to him. I really hate this.

The old fat pig laughed in joy, "You must be the sorcerer killer, Zenin Toji. As always, you never fail when it comes to business like this! Now, [Y/n] come sit on your sugar daddy's lap."

I internally gagged and looked at him in disgust. I was about to walk towards him when Toji held me back.

"Wait, where's my money, old man?" Toji asked.

The old fat pig grinned, "Of course! How could I forget?" He snapped his finger and one of his bodyguard placed a black suitcase on the table opening it revealing 30 million yen.

Toji grinned widely at the sight of the money, "This is real money. Perfect!" Toji let go of his hand letting me go but I gripped his arm tightly making him look at me.

I looked at him with tears coming out from eyes and sliding across my cheeks. My lips trembled with fear. I was scared. I shook my head signaling him that I don't want to go.

The old fat pig was getting impatient at this point. "What's wrong? Come here already!"

Toji glared at the old man before looking back at me, his facial expressions switching immediately. He gave me a smug smile, "Tell you what, darling. I will give you two more choices."

I looked at him in silence waiting for him to continue.

"Be in the possession of this pathetic old fart or be in my possession," Toji smirked at the last sentence.

I quickly went behind him clutching his shirt, "I want to become your possession."

Toji licked his lips seemingly satisfied with my choice, "Now, that's more like it."

"What did you say?!" The pathetic old fart looked like he was about to explode from anger. "Get that girl and kill him!"

"Close your eyes, darling," Toji grinned and I did as he told me.

Before I knew it, it was over in a flash. I stood there with my hands covering my eyes when Toji untied the rope on my hands and I opened my eyes. I saw blood splattered everywhere and the old fart was dead. I couldn't care less though. I'm glad he was dead.

Toji suddenly carried me and I hugged my arms around his shoulder and my legs around his waist as I clinged onto him like a koala. His other hand was holding the suitcase filled with money and we walked out of the mansion.

This time, he gently sat me down at the front seat of his car before getting into the driver's seat. He wasted no time and drive away from the mansion.

I broke the silence, "By the way, this is a fancy car you have. Where did you get it?" I looked at him.

"I stole it," Toji said in a monotone voice. I burst out in laughter, "I knew it."

Toji looked at me and slightly blushed at the sight of my laughter.

We arrived at what seemed like his apartment and I got out of the car. He walked ahead of me and I walked behind him as he unlocked the door to his apartment.

He opened the door getting inside and he pulled my arm dragging me in before closing the door and pinning me against it. He locked the door and wasted no time kissing me.

I gladly kissed him back putting my arms around his shoulders. I pulled him closer to my body as I made out with him opening my mouth to let his tongue enter.

Toji roughly kissed me grabbing my hair pulling me close before breaking the kiss for air. We breathe heavily with a string of saliva connecting our mouth.

Toji took off my shirt and threw it on the ground and I took off my shorts at the same time leaving me only in my undergarments.

Toji smirked at the sight, "All this just for me."

He picked me up putting me over his shoulder and slapping my ass harshly making me moan in pain. It was going to leave a mark for sure. He walked towards his bedroom and threw me on the bed.

He got on top of me and took off his shirt exposing his muscles and abs.

"Like what you see?" Toji cocked his head to the side with a smug smile. I blushed in response making him chuckle.

"Don't be shy, darling because there's more," He took off his pants and his huge hard cock twitching inside his boxers was visible.

My eyes widened at the sight, 'Its so big!'

Toji smirked at my reaction leaning down to kiss me as his hands worked to unclasp my bra and taking off my underwear.

He kissed my neck sucking on it leaving a mark as his hands played with my boobs pinching on my nipple making me moan.

He sucked on my nipple and lightly biting on it while his hand went to pull on my other nipple as I squirmed under him.

Toji traveled down to my pussy as he stared at me from that angle making me blush from embarrassment.

"Look at you, all wet already," Toji said as he blew on my pussy making me flinch. He licked onto my pussy eating me out earning a loud moan from me. He sucked on my clit while his fingers rubbed on my pussy.

"Toji~" I moaned his name. Toji got up to kiss me as his fingers entered my pussy and stretching it out by making scissoring gestures. I moaned in pain, "Toji, fingering hurts."

I looked at him in pain and his eyes softened. "Okay, then I will make you feel good."

Toji travelled down again as he eats me out constantly licking and sucking on my clit.

"It feels weird," I muttered as I grabbed Toji's hair and pulled him closer to my pussy as my back arched. "I think I'm about to..."

I wasn't able to finish my sentence when I came all over Toji's face which he gladly licked. "Delicious," Toji smirked and I blushed.

Toji got up and pulled down his boxer, releasing his monstrous cock. I stared at it like I've never seen one before.

"Your first time seeing it?" Toji asked and I nodded my head. "Do you think it will fit inside of me?"

"Don't worry, we will work it out," Toji kissed my forehead reassuringly.

I stopped him as I got up and kneeled down in front of him, "I want to make you feel good."

Toji furrowed his eyebrows, "You sure you're okay with it?"

I nodded my head and licked the tip making him shudder. I licked his cock before putting it inside my mouth. Its so big that I couldn't fit everything inside my mouth so I used my hands to stroke the rest of his length.

I continue to bob my head on his cock making Toji groan in pleasure. Toji was starting to get impatient with my slow pace and he grabbed the back of my head moving it at a fast pace.

I gagged when his cock hit the back of my throat as tears came out. Toji was lost in pleasure as he continued to make me suck his cock at a fast pace.

"Fuck," Toji cursed when he felt that familiar sensation. He continued to bob my head until he slowed down before stopping completely when his cock hit the back of my throat and came inside my mouth.

I removed his cock from my mouth and gagged and coughed. Toji gripped my chin making me look at him. My mouth was open with his semen dripping from my mouth and tears coming out due to gagging.

Toji was hard again. He liked this side of me. You looked so erotic. He kissed you again not caring that he was tasting his own semen.

Toji broke the kiss and flipped me over as I was now on all fours with my ass facing him.

"Sorry, [Y/n] but I can't hold back anymore."

"Huh?"

Toji entered his whole cock in one go making me scream in pain as he tear my virgin hole. I could feel blood dripping down my thighs.

"Bare with me, baby. I promise you will feel good soon," Toji said as he kissed my cheek before fucking me from behind.

Toji pressed my head on the pillows as he continued to fuck me roughly at a fast pace.

Slowly but surely, the pain was subsiding and I was starting to feel good. His huge cock was big enough to hit that certain spot which made me feel pleasurable.

"Yes! There!" I moaned in pleasure as he continued to brutally hit that spot over and over again. He continued to fuck me mercilessly.

I felt that feeling again, "Toji! I think I'm about to cum again!" I moaned loudly when it was finally released. However, Toji continued to pound inside my sensitive pussy before he also reached his high.

Toji groaned in pleasure as he threw his head back. He came inside of me. We both panted heavily and Toji slipped outside of me. My body went limb and I was about to close my eyes when Toji picked me up and sat me on his lap.

"Toji, what are you-" I was cut off when I saw Toji's grin.

"Round 2."

Toji slipped his hard cock inside of me again and he placed his hands on my hips helping me to move as I bounce off his cock. I started riding him until we both reached our climax.

His bedroom was filled with the noises of groans and moans.

We finally reached our high and I panted heavily. I held Toji's cheeks with my hands before softly kissing him to which he returns. Toji was handsome. He was an assassin but I couldn't care less about it. He saved me. If it wasn't for him, I would have been living my life in the worst way possible.

I hugged him tightly and he embraced me back gently carressing my hair. That was when I realized,

I fell in love with my kidnapper.

[ikarasu]

🥀Tummy Ache🥀

Yandere Carlo x Reader

Warnings: possible spoilers, Yandere behavior, Stockholm syndrome, and slight gore

Reader’s Perspective: 🍫White Chocolate🍫

Carlo/P’s Persepctive: 🍫Dark Chocolate🍫

Word Count: 768

Sorry if it’s short

🥀~🎶~🥀~🎶~🥀~🎶~🥀~🎶~🥀~🎶~🥀~🎶~🥀~

His grip is cold and consuming like death itself coming to collect you on your deathbed. Only this time he spins me around a dimmed room in an endless delirious waltz. Surrounded by the smell of iron and rotting roses. The sounds of thunder roaring and turning gears are the only tunes for us to dance to. I gain my courage and stare up at him as he dips me gracefully. The familiar constellation of stars speckled across his skin is nowhere to be seen leaving me hopeless like a lost soul on a moonless night. Those honeyed brown eyes that should’ve been familiar aren’t and I feel no nostalgia when they stare me down. Those eyes aren’t the same eyes of the boy who didn’t know how to love or the boy who gave me promises of returning. These are the eyes of a monster, soulless and ready to consume me whole. How he coos at me like a caged songbird sickens my entire being. A songbird cannot sing when their partner for life has perished. A caged songbird does not ever experience true happiness for they never gain freedom or free will. So how does this monster expect me to sing a tune of love?

“Love~ please don’t ignore me” his voice taunts and haunts me.

Flashes of the final night I laid with the one I truly loved. The same voice that whispered words of affection and promises sickens me now. My eyes may fool me but my ergo knows that this monster isn’t my love. Yet, I can’t help but start to melt and crack under the constant attention and affection. Maybe it’s because of the many months of isolation or it might be my weeping heart trying to delude itself. I turn my head away only for it to be forced to look at him again. He traces my cheek just as my love would. In a moment of weakness, I melt and allow myself to selfishly enjoy the morsel of affection. The dance comes to a slow, and he runs his hand through my hair.

“I love you so much, I would trade the entire world for you”

For a moment my heart skips a beat and I almost let myself believe that he’s my love. The sweetness of his words slowly breaks away what little of what’s left of my sanity. Maybe it will be okay to let myself believe in this lie and consume this love. Despite everything I can no longer deny the fact this monster cherishes me. Yes, he can break my bones if it means he’ll spend all of his time nursing me. Yes, he can bruise my skin if it means he’ll press the softest of kisses on them as an apology. Yes, he may not be as true as P or Carlo, but I can’t help but crave his love. The dirty indulgence feeling you get from eating white chocolate is the same feeling as loving him. It’s so sweet and it feels so bad but so good at the same time. I want his love. I don’t want to be lonely again. I can’t lose him a third time. I-

“(Name), what’s occupying so much of your mind that you’re not paying attention to me. I’m right in front of you, you should only be thinking of me~”

I snap out of my train of thought and stare at him. Maybe this isn’t so bad. He may be different and mean, but he’s always seeking out only my love and affection.

I slowly reach my hand out and cup his face. He looks surprised before slowly nuzzling into my hand like a cat. He turns his face and presses kisses into my palm. That action alone melts my heart and I finally give in.

“About time, my love~”

He leans in and our foreheads press. The coolness of his skin doesn’t repel me as much this time. I stare at those honeyed brown eyes and watch them stare at my lips. My heart pounds and my stomach churns. Time slows as he finally leans in and kisses me and I return it this time. I let myself enjoy the sweetness despite the stomach ache I get from it. I want to drown in this sickening sweet love. He senses that the fight in me has been finally put out and he smiles into the kiss.

Like children, we ignore the tummy ache we get from too much sugar. In the end, we’re both desperate to drown in the sweetness of this sickening love.

🥀~🎶~🥀~🎶~🥀~🎶~🥀~🎶~🥀~🎶~🥀~🎶~🥀~

@justatimidcreator ~ @kavvisato-101 ~ @meowingatthemoonhastomanyanimals ~ @jssy96 ~ @keithlineva

[matt0044]

”Reverse Trinity Syndrome” or why “The Final Day” works.

One sticking point of the finale to Gabriel’s run as main antagonist was the absence of Adrien in the final battle. Fans felt cheated out of Chat Noir facing his father and learning exactly what he’d become. That said... I feel like it being Bug Noir vs. Monarch is inaccurate when it's more like Marinette vs. Gabriel.

Marinette fighting for the one she loves and finally had the courage to kiss before the Perfect Alliance outbreak. Gabriel fighting for the wish he's spent the better part of a year grasping for. Season 5 spent quite a bit of time establishing tension between them as civilians with a classic "rich boy's parent disapprovals of peasent girl" dynamic.

The Miraculous was just the icy on the cake.

There's also something about Adrien, the male lead, being in captivity while Marinette, the female lead, is the one to take on the big bad mano e mano that reminds me of this article a while back that discussed a similar plot beat but with the genders reversed:

We’re losing all our Strong Female Characters to Trinity Syndrome

by Tasha Robinson

Since Tumblr's crap with links, I recommending googling the article itself.

The gist of the article was criticism of action films be they live or animated where the third act would have the female lead or a significant female character benched for the rest of the climax. Examples include Valka from How To Train Your Dragon 2, Wyldstyle from The Lego Movie (The Second Part was totes underrated) and Trinity from The Matrix if the name didn't give it away.

For me, Chat Noir being benched hit differently since I often had this frustration growing up. Sure, it was about the male hero mostly buuuuuut the set up for the heroine to be this awesome-sauce mentor, friend, parent or love interest would often be met with a lacking pay-off.

Similarly, I had been viewing Naruto and certainly felt that Sakura lacked prescene in Team 7's battles. Especially one their first mission where she's guarding their escort but doesn't even get any mook to throw down with at least. It felt like the trio was Kakashi, Naruto and Sasuke if anything.

So... having Adrien as part of the battle might've distracted from Marinette's part of the battle and SHE is the Guardian who lost the Kwamis.

This isn't to say one couldn't feel that Adrien risking transforming and flying to Paris was missing. Like Bug Noir could stay but Adrien flying off only for the Nightmares to get to him too much and have the Resistence bail him out.

Though, under that train of thought, I will admit that I wish that Adrien revealed himself as Cat Noir to Marinette before Monarch arrives to shoe him away. Evolve the love square at least a touch more as all.

Personally, I wished Alya transformed with Plagg.

In any case, I feel like Marinette and Gabriel have some parallels to each other with each other often pulling overt schemes to get the love of their life. Not in the same way of course but Marinette is still the one to overcome her more iffy habits and ACTUAL TRAUMA FROM CHLOE PUTTING KIM UP TO PRANK HER.

"Derision" was wild, y'all.

Thus not going the "I am your father" approach was valid.

[vastunknownsea]

learning to draw child soldiers

and beating same face syndrome

with the help of Maya Sanchez and Frank Olivetti

honorary guest, Ava Patel (I don’t draw the three of them often) (they’re all a bit messy just a heads up)

Honestly don’t like the final product of Maya. If it looks a bit goofy it’s because I decided to draw it at the top of the page so it’s cut off.

Personally, I like the sketch better

It is what is it is, tho

[aobabes]

I've noticed that Clear gets beat up a lot in his route. Aside from the Clearao slapstick comedy and the android/human love story + angst, the rest of it was Toue indirectly abusing Clear; he allowed his associates to beat up Clear and to pour sulfuric acid on his face and programed the alphas to beat up Clear multiple times and each time it's just uncomfortably long? And he's incapable of fighting back every time unless Aoba is in immediate danger. And it's only when he destroys his key lock, which directly leads to his death, that he's able to defend himself. I love Clear's route, but I have to always skip those parts because it just gives me the ick. Speaking of things that give me the ick, I don't think anyone has talked about this throughout my time being in the dmmd fandom. In his bad end, Clear is enforcing the trauma Toue gave him onto Aoba as a means to make them more alike.

When you put into perspective the way Clear is talking about how Toue makes him feel and how he can't fight back against him, you start to realize that Clear is basically treating Aoba like how Toue impliedly treats him and his brothers. You can tell because the way Aoba feels about Clear's treatment of him is exactly how Clear feels about Toue.

Clear wants to make Aoba like him, like how he sees himself, like how Toue's abuse has made him perceive himself. He takes Aoba's sight to remove his window to the outside world and to deny him of any unnecessary knowledge because all Aoba needs to know is Clear. He removes Aoba's limbs to take away his sense of freedom, his free will, and to make it impossible for him to escape. He removes Aoba's vocal cords because, to Clear, he doesn't need something that allows him to make any choices and he's quite literally silencing him. Since being reprogrammed, for two months all Clear knew was Toue and the inner walls of Oval Tower before he finally granted him permission to see Aoba. Clear, being a machine created by Toue, has no freedom, no free will, and cannot escape considering he's physically incapable of defying Toue. Clear was never allowed a choice, given a say in anything, nor allowed to voice what he wanted, unless Toue approved of it first. Clear is taking Toue's place whilst Aoba has taken Clear's place.

Clear wants to make Aoba share the same pain he's endured, and more than anything he wants Aoba to be a "living doll" like he is. He wants to turn Aoba into a mirrored image of his trauma so that he doesn't feel completely alone.

Even Clear begging Aoba to say his name and wanting to hear his voice in the r-word scene mirrors Toue being so obsessed with Clear denying him as his master and wanting to know why. Clear knew that if he applied enough force/pain onto Aoba that he'd eventually give him what he wanted in that scene. That always stood out to me because Clear is an android and androids are learning ais given human-looking models. Clear's grandpa and Aoba taught him how to be human and what it means to have emotions, to be alive. Toue reprogramming him, taking all of that away from him, what does he have left to learn anything from other than Toue's abuse? How else would he know that denying Aoba the hope of ever escaping, the freedom of choice, and the free will to fight back would eventually make him give up and submit to him after being reunited with him after two whole months of being separated? Who else would teach him that, if not his master, Toue?

I know this isn't my usual dmmd rambling post, but I can't only talk about the positives of dmmd without bringing up the bad ends sometimes. Because they're unfortunately just as beautifully written as the good ends. Taking a character like Clear, who's entire character arc was about claiming free will, the freedom of choice, and what it means to live only to witness all of that taken away from him in the form of watching him victimize his lover the same way he was victimized really portrays abusive power dynamics, Stockholm syndrome, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and trauma responses so perfectly.

[zapsoda]

i think supervillain organizations need human resources too: zapsoda states the obvious for a looooong time

i find black hat fascinating because he is truly sadistic in a way many villains are not and it gives him a really bizarre dynamic with his 2.5 employees.

his sadism is something you have to keep in mind when analyzing all other asepcts of his character because it immediately answers most of the questions that arise throughout. for example:

q. why does he torture and threaten his employees?

a. he enjoys it :3

q. why is he so adamantly opposed to replacing them, despite his supposed contempt?

a. either he doesnt actually dislike them that much, or the catharsis and pleasure from tormenting them all the time makes up for it.

and finally, the one i enjoy the most: why is his favorite employee flug?

obviously, his least favorite is 505, because 505 is like. the embodiment of good. the opposite of evil. hes basically a big fluffy hero which is like. exactly what he hates. you might be asking: why does he let flug keep him around then? the answer:

i just have to trust all the bullshit the wiki says at face value since none of its sources are accessible anymore as far as i can tell.

anyways, that leaves us with flug and demencia. and demencia is like ... the obvious choice. i'm not just like biased cause i'm in love with her shes got it all: she's evil (at least more evil than flug), shes strong as fuck, and she worships bh. that's perfect, isn't it? the thing is, he doesn't seem to like her as much. this is the most evil part about him i think but here's why:

dem looooves him and i don't think he really wants to be loved i think he wants to be feared. he doesn't want people to feel happy when he's around, he's evil. theyre like orin scrivello and arthur denton.

in this regard, dem is a little too crazy for him, in the sense that she does not have the self preservation instincts flug has. she knows when to fuck off so bh doesnt rend her to pieces, but she generally doesnt exhibit the same fear or caution that flug does, because she believes fully that she is sooo awesome and black hat is soo perfect and in love with her that nothing bad will happen ever.

this makes her supremely difficult to fuck with in the traditional sense, because if he tries to do it without some sort of disguise or element of surprise, she'll just make big heart eyes lol. black hat doesnt get his desired reaction, and the interaction is no longer enjoyable for him.

obv, bh still has some attachment to her and does still find ways to screw with her, but it is harder and he has to be more creative. i think what he primarily enjoys about her is how evil she is. this might be a bit far fetched, but in the wrestling episode he clearly loved making her beat the shit out of flug. i think maybe he sees a bit of himself in her. but see, even here he is using her to accomplish the larger goal of getting under flugs skin (literally and figuratively).

so ultimately, we are left with flug. he is (also) entirely loyal and obedient to bh, but also he is scared shitless of the guy. i cannot stress enough that flug sees himself very highly, thus, he values self preservation above most other things. the way he sees it, he is so smart and awesome he can't die or feel immense pain, that would really suck! this is perfect, because it makes him so, so easy to fuck with, and black hat takes advantage of this constantly. its basically his favorite hobby.

this dynamic wouldnt work, of course, if flug didn't also have this weird fucking stockholm syndrome or whatever. he does adore bh. the bit in the opening of the pilot where he dreams of getting like. the mildest praise imaginable from black hat. haunts me esp cause it doesnt seem to come up again after that. he obviously wants to be respected/revered/admired for his intelligence and accomplishments, and from someone who he respects as much as bh even the tiniest crumb of validation is enough. because of that, he will do basically fucking anything for bh.

thus, black hat gets the best of both worlds: 505s fear and eternal suffering and demencias evil love and respect.

[2braincellslz]

Hello! Here are some ideas for requests:

- Bucky Barnes with male reader where reader lost his voice after a traumatic event, they both live together to help each other come but one day Bucky has a brutal breakdown or a nightmare, reader tries to calm him/wake him up but nothing works, so he tries to say Bucky's name and that's the only sound that forces Bucky to open his teary eyes.

- Jason Voorhees and male reader where they have this soft moment, Jason still feels a bit weird around reader, because he thinks he's with him bc of fear, pity or Stockholm syndrome, that he's a monster and monster can't be loved by a human and vice versa, reader notices it and does the "I look at you and I see two eyes, like mine, two ears, also like mine, *boop* a nose which I also have, one mouth, here and here as well, and what else, hmmm, two hands *puts their hands against each other and see the huge size difference*, two legs, Jason is still feeling off and reader takes his hand and places it on Jason's chest "One heart. A heart that beats for me and..." *hugs Jason while standing so Jason could hear his heartbeat* "...same heart as yours, that's beating for you".

- Billy Hargrove and male reader where reader gives Billy a necklace for Christmas (reader was on vacation in California and found a sea shell with pearl) and says "One day, you'll find one there for me as well".

Sorry for such lame ideas, you can delete them if you want, totally ok with that. It's also a mess...😬

Anyway hope you'll have a good day/night. 💕

Better Late Then Never

Ship: Billy Hargrove x Male!YN

Notes: probably not my best but whatever lmao.

Billy's birthday had come and gone. He had thrown a big party at one of his friends' houses. The cops were called. It wasn't an awful birthday, like some of the other ones, but it could have been better. It could have been a lot better. Better how? Well, for starters, his boyfriend could have been there.

It wasn't YNs fault, really. His parents had surprised him with a trip not too long ago. They couldn't blame YN parents either. They don't know when Billy's birthday was and they didn't know that it would be important for YN to be there. It was just on a big quicadince. 

But that wasn't even the worst part of it all. The worst part, at least for Billy, was that he was going to Cali. he would never tell YN to his face but he was a bit salty that he wasn't in Cali with him. Or just in Cail in general. He really does miss California.

But all of that didn't matter because today was the day. Today was the day that YN was coming home. That YN was coming back to billy. 

It felt like it had been years. At least to YN it had. He enjoyed his time in Cali but he was antsy the whole flight back to Hawkens. He and Billy had planned a whole alabrote day to spend together as a kind of “sorry my parents forced me to go to Cali on your birthday.” not only was YN antsy to see his Boyfriend but while in Cali he had found this beautiful necklace. It had a small blue shell on the end of it. It was simple but YN knew that Billy would like it. 

The plane ride was never ending. Thank god YNs parents spent the extra money on the first class. It made the trip at least a little bit more bearable.

When the plane finally landed, the worst part was yet to come. Actually getting off the plane. While YN wanted to rush off the plane, his parents held him back. They wanted to wait till everyone was off the plane before they got off.

“You don't want to be shoved off the plane, do you?” YNs mom, who was sitting next to YN in the window seat. “You don't want to be rushed.”

“Mom, Billy is waiting for me…” YN sighed, fidgeting with the box in his pocket.

“I don't understand why you want to spend your first day back with him. I haven't heard great things about him from your brother.” YNs mom sighed, watching the people that left the plane.

“He's kind to me.” YN could see his mom give him an off look out of the corner of his eye.

YN knew that other people, mostly people in his family, had a sneaking suspicion that YN wasn't as entirely straight as he let on. No one said anything but it was kind of obvious.

“And you are going to be with him all day? Are you spending the night?” YNs mom asked. YN trusted their mom. If he was going to tell anyone what was going on between him and Billy, it would be his mom. She coved for him. If YN wanted to spend the night at BIlly's house, though they usually got a hotel so they wouldn't have to deal with Neil, then YNs mom would cover for him.

“Yeah, I'm staying the night.”

“Getting a hotel again?”

“Yep.” YN could see his mom smile. Even if she didn't know what was going on between him and Billy, she was happy for YN. even if Billy was just a friend.

But he wasn't just a friend. 

He was more. And his more was waiting for his boyfriend and probably getting irritated.

“Alright, let's go.”

YN and YNs mom stood up, grabbing their book bags from under the chair in front of them. 

YN practically ran out of the plane, passing his brothers and dad. He ran past people in the airport and weaving by suitcases. He ran all the way to the baggage claim. 

He looked around, panting. It took him a bit but he found him, the man that he ran through a whole airport for. 

“Billy!” YN yelled, practically knocking over the basketball player when he lunged at the man. 

“Jesus, calm down.” Billy hugged YN back. It was rather quick though so that no one would get any bright ideas.

“Hey.” YN smiled, hands itching at his side to reach back out to Billy.

“Hey.” Billy looked over YN. “You got a tan.”

“Wow, it's almost like I was in the sun for a whole week.”

Billy rolled his eyes. “Shut up, let's go get some food.” he smiled, wrapping an arm over YNs shoulders. 

Billy had grabbed YN luggage while he was waiting and, like the gentle man he is, was carrying it for YN.

“Where shall we eat?” Billy asked once you got to the car, throwing your luggage in the backseat of his Chevy. 

“It's your day, you pick.” 

“Starcourt Mall. We can eat in the food court.”

“Sounds good to me.”

YN slipped into the passenger side as Billy got into the driver's seat. Billy started the car and rock filled the car. The song was easily recognizable. “Love Of My Life.” by Queen. It wasn't Billy's usual music but it was YNs.

“Is this the mixtape I gave you?” Yn asked as Billy pulled out of his spot and drove out of the airport parking lot.

“Maybe. What did you name it? Something sappy, right?”

YN rolled his eyes. It was sappy. It made YN cringe whenever he thought about it. “Melted candy hearts or something.”

“Exactly, really really sappy.” 

“Yeah, whatever you say Mr. Tough guy.” YN let his head lul back, closing his eyes as the ballet filled his ears. YN rested his hand on the center console which was quickly held by Billy.

It was one of the few things YN and Billy could do in public, kinda, to show each other affection. No one could really see their hands while in the car so they always took the opportunity to show each other a little bit of affection. Another thing they would do would be walking with Billy's arm around YNs shoulders. To the outsiders, they just saw it as a guy leading his friend somewhere but they knew. Billy and YN knew what it really meant and it was kind of special for them. 

Billy pulled into the mall parking lot and shut down the car. He stepped out and waited for YN who quickly followed. 

Billy reposished himself back with his arm back around YNs shoulders. The pair walked around a bit before they settled down to eat some shitty Chinese food. Honestly though, it was better than the food they gave YN in first class.

“How was your trip?” Billy asked, shoving some more rice into his mouth.

“Boring. It wasn't any fun without you there to get us into trouble.” YN looked up from his tray with a goofy grin to watch Billy's face shift to fake shock.

“How could you! I thought we were friends!” Billy dramatically placed a hand over his heart.

“You hang around Eddie too much.” YN rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his orange chicken.

Billy just chuckled and turned back to his food, stuffing some more into his mouth. 

After the pair was done eating their food, they walked through the mall. Occasionally, entertaining the idea of stopping by Scops Ahoy to see if Steve would let them in the back way.

After everything the Hawkings kids have been through, no one really cared about childish things like popularity causing all rivalries to become unimportant. Sure, people still remembered what Billy has done but they also know he is working on himself. He is becoming better. He has made amends with Max. he is better.

YN took Billy's wrist, pulling him into the ice cream place. They walked up to the counter, interrupting Steve's pitiful attempt at flirting while Robin held up a shigh from the back that read ‘SOS’ in bright red.

“Steve!” YN shouted, drawing Steve's attention away from the two girls who used Steve's moment of being distracted to make their escape. 

Steve's face lit up. “YN!” he shouted back. 

“Hey! Nimrod. How many kids are you friends with?” Robin asked from the back.

YN knew Robin and Robin knew YN. basically everyone knew everyone in their big group but Robin was not one to pass up a monet to make fun of her friends.

“We are your age.” Billy smiled, slipping through the divider to get to the back with YN close behind. 

Steve jumped through the window and closed the shutters. “How was Cali?” 

“Not that great. We didn't get to go to the beach or anything, just spent a lot of time at my grandma's house while my parents ran off to have fun or something.”

“Or something?” Robin asked, ignoring the sound of Erica abusting the bell.

“Or something.” YN repeated with a shrug, sitting down at the table.

“So where are your kids, stevie? I thought they always hung around here for the free ice cream?” Billy asked, placing his hands on your shoulders. The two of you could be yourself around the gang, they all knew.

“Well first off, they aren't my kids.” 

“Yes, they are.” Robin said, cutting off Steve.

Steve glared at Robin “And secondly, they are at the movies.” 

“Speaking of movies…” YN said with a smile. 

Steve groaned and rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, sure.” he moved from his spot leaning against the counter and pulled open the door for the couple.

“Pretty sure they are playing Dr. Zhivago.”

YN stood up and walked out the door, thanking Steve on his way out. Billy wasn't too far behind him. As soon as the door shut, their hands were interlocked together. It might not be a long walk but might as well take advantage of one of the few moments they have alone together.

They sat down near the back, no one really sat in the back so they could enjoy their moment together. The movie had already started, about twenty minutes in, but it's not like they could complain, they did get in for free. 

YN fidgeted with Billy's hand the whole time. Whether it be rubbing circles into his hand with his thumb, moving YNs promise ring to Billy's hand then back again, or just holding it. It was another one of the few moments they could be affectionate in public. Everyone was watching the movie, anyway. 

The movie ended and the pair went on to the next activity and the next. The last thing they did before turning into the hotel was bowling where YN absolutely destroyed Billy. 

Settling into the hotel for the night, Billy and YN laid in the massive bed together while watching some random documentary on TV, though neither of them were really paying attention. 

Billy had his arms wrapped tightly around YNs waist with YNs head resting on his chest. YN clinged to Billy like a baby otter clinging to its mom. 

That's when YN remembered. The necklace.

“Billy?” 

“Hmm?” Billy hummed, rubbing YNs back.

“I got you a birthday present.” YN pulled away from the warmth, sitting up on his knees.

“Really?” Billy asked, sitting up.

“Alright, close your eyes.”

Billy closed his eyes, chuckling softly.

“Ok, Now. stick out your hand and open your eyes when you feel the box.”

Billy stuck out his hand. YN fished the box out of his pocket and placed it in Billy's hand. Billy blinked his eyes open, looking from YN to the box in his hand. He pulled off the small lid and looked over the necklace.

YN watched carefully, fidgeting with his hands. He prayed to whatever god there was that Billy liked it.

“Wow… this is perfect…” Billy smiled, leaning forward and placing a kiss on YNs cheek before pulling out the necklace and putting it on.

“Does it look good?” Billy asked, playing with the small blue shell.

“You look good in everything.” Yn said, scooting forward and resting his head on Billys shoulder. 

“Someday, when I visit California again, I'll get you a matching one.”

“Vist? Don't you want to move back there? That's your home.”

“My home is wherever you are.” Billy hummed, kissing the top of YNs head.

“That's so sappy.”

“Shut up!”

[ghastlybin]

Can I request an angsty DC 8th member fic. I just need to read more 8th member au's and I love angst

Word, thank you for the request!!! Your wish is my command <3 =)) By the way, anyone else reading this, PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS FIRST! I BEG YOU.

Pairing: Dreamcatcher + 8th member! GN reader.

Word count: 2k

Genre/contents: Dreamcatcher’s 8th member! AU, Angst, heavy topics.

TW: Depictions of depression and anxiety. Kinda heavyish on imposter syndrome, insecurites, not feeling good enough, etc. The Y/N struggles with mental health and imposter syndrome, for short.

Note: I think I suck at being happy but I did attempt a happy-ish ending but I also didn’t want to be like “hey, depression. Now y/n is cured!1!1” Because that’s not how it works, sadly. But I at least tried to imply baby steps to managing the readers mental health better in the future rather than hold it all in kinda? I hope? Also the dialogue at the end that isn’t spoken by the Y/N is up to your interpretation. Could be any member you feel would say it or even your bias. Up to you. Anyways, enough stalling, thank you again, ily, and I hope you enjoy despite the topics depicted. (I really don’t know how else to word that- I am so sorry but yk what I mean though I hope lmao) I ALSO DON’T MEAN TO OFFEND ANYONE if I do :(( I tried not to be offensive here.

Ignore the fact that I couldn’t find a gif lol goodnight/morning/afternoon it is currently 5am so I’m gonna dip but ily!!

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, the idol life.

You worked hard for years and finally got to debut as the eighth member of Dreamcatcher, putting music out that you’ve worked years to be able to put out.

But this? The self-doubt, the imposter syndrome, your insecurities that are constantly being picked out and called out by critics and antis.

You were always in a constant battle with your own mind, each word playing on repeat as you began to pick yourself apart and wishing you worked just a little bit harder to be as perfect as your fellow members.

Every day, every comeback, every waking moment, you worked harder and harder to fit in with the girls.

No matter what you did, you still felt less than others.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

You were supposed to be happy, enthusiastic, and in love with music— And you were.

You were happy. Happy you got to debut. Happy you were in a group full of wonderful women who were by your side every step of the way.

You were enthusiastic. Enthusiastic about performing. Enthusiastic about always putting in the most effort you could manage.

Of course, you were in love with music. Making music, singing, performing, and even producing it.

With each comeback, you recieved so much love from fans, dreamcatcher, and even staff, treating everyone kindly and respectfully and hoping they didn’t face the same feelings you felt deep inside.

But even with so much support, you still felt alone.

The loneliness was as intense as a monster that wanted nothing more than to eat away at your soul day by day.

And you would’ve let it, the pain inside debilitating your will to stay strong day by day.

You would’ve allowed yourself to drown completely, had it not been for your members there to keep your head above water and your passion for making music— Which was very much still there and still stronger than any demon eating away at you.

-

Handong was the first to see through to your emotional pain. The existential dread of never being enough.

You were seated beside her at a restaurant during dinner with the girls after a successful show.

The shaking of your hands, your heart beating through your chest, each vein pulsating with each beat.

Did I mess up the show?

You remembered how your mind raced with questions that you know you’d never believe the answers to.

Did anyone cheer for me during my parts?

Handong could feel something was off about you. Maybe it was the way you smiled without any feeling behind it. Maybe you were shaking too much for it to just be post-performance adrenaline.

Whatever it was, she realized the pain you were in. How it wasn’t something you could slap a band-aid on and be done with.

She saw you cry that same night, the pent-up emotions you had kept hidden from your group.

You wanted to be like them. Perfect, cool, and an amazing performer. You wanted them to think you were perfect, cool, and just as amazing as they were.

Instead, you cried, wishing to wake up as the perfect idol.

You remembered how tight Handong held you, listening to your wordless cries for as long as you needed.

And it hurt more, with as much love and support you received, all it took was for one negative comment to twist your day upside down.

You hated the power that had over you. How it altered your mind for the worst.

And Handong held you tightly in her arms as you sobbed until you were numb and with no more tears left.

“How long has this been going on?”

Her voice was soothing to your ears. Words you never thought you’d hear.

Finally, you thought. Someone willing to listen.

And you told her everything. Every painful feeling and thought you had bottled inside of you for so long. You trust her, of course. And she trusts you, grateful that you felt safe enough to open up to her.

The wars you waged in your mind had come to a ceasefire, even if only temporarily.

-

Minji was the next of the girls to have noticed.

Only this time, you were on a walk together, enjoying the day off while the others had other plans.

It was at a time you felt the most at peace with yourself. You itched to practice and perfect your skills, but at the same time, it felt good to be able to unwind and not have to worry about anything eating you up.

Minji didn’t know certain questions caused you pain.

“What are your goals for this year?”

It was a simple question. Albeit, a question that took some thought, but was meant to be harmless. She was excited about the future of the group, being the leader.

But it gave you a nauseous chill that caused you to stop all movement, clenching your jaw in an attempt to stop the feeling from pouring out of you.

“What’s wrong?” Minji asked, shortly before you began to shake, becoming short of breath and lightheaded.

It wasn’t a spontaneous reaction that caused you to spiral. You did think about your answer.

I have to be perfect. I have to work harder. I can’t take a break or I will have to start all over again.

You were on your day off, alongside Minji.

I have to start all over again.

“Y/N? Talk to me, please. I want to help you.” Minji thought about her words, only then, did she realize the emotional pain you experienced that began to externalize physically.

I may never be good enough.

You yelped, holding your chest as your heart picked up at an unnatural speed.

I will never be good enough, will I?

You were hyperventilating, shaking violently, sweat collected on your palms, and the world around you spun out of control.

Am I dying?

Minji immediately cut the walk short and brought you to the dorms and out of the eye of the public.

At the dorm, after Minji consoled you out of your inconsolable state, you didn’t remember the walk back to the dorm. How Minji worried for you every step of the way, hoping— Praying that you wouldn’t hyperventilate yourself into passing out on the street.

Your eyes were red and puffy from crying, which you also had no recollection of. You were a swirling pit of your own negative thoughts.

-

Yoobin was the third to notice.

She noticed you had been more distant than usual the day after your most recent comeback. While the girls were celebrating and well prepared for the promotion period, you had distanced yourself, picturing the ridiculing comments already, even as an endless sea of encouraging and adoring comments poured in, you could only seem to focus on the few negative ones.

Though the positive outweighed the negative, it was still enough to drown you and that was all it took.

“I’m fine.” A common excuse used by people bottling their feelings to avoid those around them from worrying.

Nothing is wrong with me.

I am perfectly fine.

I am perfect.

I am far from fine.

It was crazy how the weather seemed to align with your feelings.

Clouds burst into droplets to downpours of rain when they got too full.

Crazy how accurate it was to how you would bottle your feelings up so full that they would burst at the seams when it got too much.

You were surrounded by the bottled-up feelings that the sky held. Each cloud representing a different fear, insecurity— Anything that ate away at you bit by bit.

The cold rain drenched you the longer you sat outside, letting it wash over you just enough to simulate drowning, but never enough to actually drown you.

“Hey! You’re going to catch a cold out here!” Yoobin had run toward you with an umbrella, holding it over you, blocking any more drops from touching you.

The thing was, you were already cold. Even inside the heated building, the icy numbness blankets you.

“Are you okay?” Yoobin asked. You both shared the umbrella, the rain pouring down. Only then, did she realize you were crying.

“When will it stop?” The question came out in a mutter that Yoobin had barely heard.

“The rain?” She asked with a shrug.

Only later, did she understand what you truly meant.

-

When Siyeon noticed your pain, she walked past the bathroom door in the dorm, hearing the sounds of your crying.

It worried her and she wondered why you were crying.

It was just a bad day and you wanted to be alone rather than cry in your room where any of the girls could walk in at any given moment.

Siyeon knocked on the door, unaware you intended to be left alone. Even then, you were crying and she cared about you.

She’d have knocked anyway, even if it meant getting snapped at.

But you didn’t snap at her, only ceasing your tears as you sat on the floor of the bathroom, wiping your tears.

“Are you crying? Is there someone I need to beat up for you?” Siyeon asked, acknowledging that the door was locked, and instead sat beside the door to speak to you.

You cracked a smile, small, yet enough to slightly ease the pain in your chest.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

But you weren’t. You were far from fine.

Why do I feel like this?

A question that may never be answered no matter how many answers it all pointed to.

“You don’t sound fine. Tell me about it. Was it someone? Or something?” Siyeon didn’t want to overstep your boundaries, but she knew something was off.

It wasn’t every day that you burst into tears inside the dorm’s bathroom.

When you didn’t answer— Lacking the words to sum up your feelings, Siyeon’s voice seeped through the door again.

“I will be here when you’re ready. Whether your reason for crying is tiny or catastrophic, if it’s something that makes you cry, it’s never silly if it’s hurting you, so please don’t feel silly.”

Siyeon sat on the other side of the door as you covered your mouth, begging yourself not to cry anymore.

Within a few minutes, you gathered the courage to open the door and talk to Siyeon, who listened and tried her best to reassure you.

Even though you were grateful and felt a lot better in the end, you still had a massive lump in your throat that would take a while to overcome.

You just worried that it would take an eternity.

-

It was one in the morning when Yoohyeon found you wide awake, yet exhausted at the same time, sitting on the steps outside.

At first, she thought you were crazy being outside this late at night, her reasoning for being up as well was originally to go and get a glass of water.

That’s when she noticed you outside through one of the windows, sitting and watching the stars in silence and alone with your thoughts.

It was something you had done relatively often, only this was the first time Yoohyeon caught you. She sat beside you, following your gaze toward the sky.

“You’re still awake?” You asked, never taking your eyes off the night sky.

“Got thirsty. What’s your excuse?” She yawned. You smiled, finally looking at her.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Hm… Do we snore too loud or-“ Yoohyeon meant it as a joke, but she stopped herself when she noticed the water accumulating in your eyes, yet hadn’t spilled out.

And thankfully for you, they never did.

“I haven’t been able to sleep for a while.” You confessed, a heavy, shaky breath leaving your lips. “It’s hard to sleep when my mind is constantly telling me to do better.”

Yoohyeon listened to every word you said, with sincerity and concern on her expression as you continued to pour your heart out.

It embarrassed you too, admitting to her how vulnerable you really were. You wanted to be strong.

Perfect. Cool. Amazing.

It hurt as your mind contradicted your wishes.

But she listened. She cared.

Yet, you still felt the pain all the same.

-

You continuously messed up the choreography, exhausted and shaking all over from hours of practicing one part of the dance for the group's comeback.

You previously got it right, every step. But today was different and you weren’t sure why when you had done it perfectly just the day before.

It frustrated you have perfection seemed to come and go whenever it saw fit. It frustrated you how perfection lead you on, only to sink you deeper into the hole you felt stuck in.

Bora and Gahyeon stuck behind with you long after the other girls had left to take care of other obligations or simply just to return to the dorms.

Both girls remaining had opted to help you out, Bora spotting the steps you continuously missed or botched altogether, and took it slower, step by step as Gahyeon offered tips here and there— Which you took heed of, but for some reason, you just could not get the steps right.

How am I going to be perfect if I can’t get this down?

The thoughts came racing back again.

Gahyeon noticed your frustrations with yourself tearing away at you.

Then Bora noticed too when you stumbled backward and fell to the ground from the mental and physical exhaustion.

“Woah! Let’s take a break… Maybe pick up again tomorrow, what do you say?” Bora kneeled beside you, glancing at Gahyeon, who rushed to bring you a water bottle.

“Yes. We can go eat and call it a day.” Gahyeon agreed as you shakily held the bottle, drinking the refreshing water.

“I can’t. I’m not good enough for this.” You gripped the bottle as water sloshed out. On top of that, your voice cracked as the lump in your throat attempted to block your voice from leaving your throat.

“Where is this coming from? You are good enough. You’re more than enough!” Bora frowned, concerned.

Gahyeon took the liberty to hold your hand as you began to cry.

“I’m trying, I promise!” Your cries turned into sobs, the bottled-up emotions spilling out again since the previous time.

Over and over again, like a cloud, filling up until it bursts.

“I know you are. You’ve worked hard enough already. Let’s call it a night. Me, you, and Gahyeon- maybe the others if they are free- All of us go out to eat. You’ve more than earned it.” Bora attempted to soothe you as Gahyeon continued to hold onto your hand.

“And if you want, you can vent to me. I will listen.” Bora spoke with such sincerity that you cried harder.

“Me too. Whatever you need, I— We got you covered.” Gahyeon inputs, caressing the back of your hand with her thumb.

Putting your feelings into words was hard. You never knew where to start and sometimes it got jumbled, lost in translation, and incomprehensible.

And still, you tried. A weight simultaneously lifting off your shoulder while also weighing you down more.

The support you had received around you opened your eyes more and the loneliness you felt inside felt like an odd thing to feel, knowing you were surrounded by people who loved and cared for you.

-

You were anxious. It was the day of the comeback and you had listened to Bora and Gahyeon about picking back up the next day.

When the next day came, you were able to do the choreography again without any mistakes. Day after day, each practice before the promotion period, you nailed the dance flawlessly as a group and individually.

Your hands shook and your heart raced. All of this time chasing perfection, you weren’t sure why you hadn’t reached it yet.

“We’re next!” Gahyeon excitedly announced backstage as the group before you started to finish up their stage.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves, fearing you would mess up or that your nerves would show through.

“Are you going to be okay?”

“I’m fine… Thank you.”

A common excuse, but you actually began to mean it, even if slightly.

And you were fine. Every doubt you had, every worry, every thought, they were internal. No one else thought you were as flawed as you thought.

Nothing was wrong with you. You were perfect. You had a ton of support and love from family, friends, and fans who —In their eyes— Saw you as perfect.

You were just fine. You were cool. You were amazing.

You weren’t perfect.

You were perfectly imperfect. Everyone was.

And that was okay.

Even in the hole you felt stuck in, pulling yourself out seemed like an actual possibility with the support system you had discovered that had been there all along, patiently by your side until you see yourself the way those around you did.

“Remember, you’ll do just fine. You always have.”

“Thank you. I won’t fail you!” You replied, adjusting your in-ear.

The girls fondly smiled at you, feeling a sense of pride toward you.

“You never have.”

You were cool, amazing, and your own kind of perfect, even if it will take some time for you to accept.