#i figured out i can check out books from my library through a phone app. and then stole all my friends' library card information. im balling

[atissi]

okay all of the reviews for "severance" by ling ma said it was a hilariously deadpan satire on the post-apocalypse — and maybe that was true in 2018 — but now that i've read it i can say i probably laughed Once and felt a bone-deep nihilistic dread Constantly. the bit about the protagonist's company gifting her a self-care kit of 2 N95 masks, a nutrient bar, and an expanded insurance plan in response to a worldwide pandemic isn't really funny post-2020, it's just realism.

[oneadhdwitch]

Broke Witch Help

We all go through times where we don't have the greatest amount of money in our pockets, especially with the economy these days no matter where you live in the world.

You don't need to buy things to be a legitimate witch, and here are a few things that can help you figure out how to get things you may need for your craft if you don't have a lot of money.

Grimoire/BoS Alternatives

Your grimoire and/or Book of Shadows doesn't have to be fancy at all! You can always get the most basic notebooks and use these as ways to write down your personal experiences, things you've learned and spells. Even this isn't for everyone.

The notes app on your phone can totally be your magical notebook, but if you want a specific app you can always start a secret tumblr page just for yourself or even get an app like Penzu where you can get one free online journal for free!

There are of course other apps that you can use, but the important thing is that you can freely write what you want! I just started a dream journal on Penzu myself and it's been really helpful!

Herbology

People don't realise just how easy it is to go outside and pick things up sometimes. Woods are everywhere and as long as you have a good education on what it is you're picking up then you can totally pick up plants and leaves in your local woodland. I would usually link to a source about the topic at hand, but unfortunately I think this is one everyone will need to research about their own area as different plants grow in different places.

Crystals/Stones

In all honesty the first stones I worked with were rocks I picked up off the ground, I felt their energy and worked with them how they told me they worked better. If you aren't someone is able to read energy this way, you can definitely still use rocks you've picked up from the ground. Whilst stones like amethyst and quartz have good qualities and look pretty, stones from the ground can still be pretty powerful. They're just as natural, and just as part of natures way as the ones we have attributed certain abilities to.

Knowledge and Fact Checking

As I'm sure everyone on this website is aware, the internet isn't the best place for gaining knowledge and fact checking is always best before making a decision on whether information is truthful or not. The truth is, books about witch craft and paganism are just the same anyway. Unless there are many sources saying the same thing, it's important to question and fact check everything you read. Whilst books can be an integral part of the craft for some people, they aren't necessarily the most important thing.

Anything we find in books we can find on the internet, and all media needs to be questioned. This part of my post is mainly a part to say, don't feel bad for not having a library of books on the craft. There are many ways to learn.

If there are any other things you may need help with please do let me know. If you have any extra insight, please also add to this.

[glitter-and-tears]

A stalker x stalker fic based on a dream I had >_<

This is my first time writing a story of any kind so please be nice 🥹

Chapter 1: My Lovely Library

It was a cold, pale, early winter morning and Meg was on her way to The Library. Well, she called it the library but it was just a typical donation store. She called it “The Library” because the only thing she ever bought were books.

The snow on the ground was thick and sludgy. No one in their right minds would go out in the weather conditions she was in. But Meg didn’t really mind the weather because she loved reading. She didn’t care how rainy or snowy it was outside, every day she would go to The Library to find a new book.

Meg walked through the familiar doors of The Library and immediately walked over to the corner with shelves and shelves of used books. “How could anyone just give up such wonderful books and novels?,” she thought to herself. As she looked through a selection of old literature she a certain book managed to catch her eye. “No Longer Human” by Osamu Dazai. It was a semi-autobiographical novel and she thought it would be perfect to read on this winter morning.

Meg payed for the book and walked back outside to the winter chill. She noticed a doubled set of footprints next to hers from the walk to The Library. She didn’t pay much attention to them though, she was just happy to have gotten a new book to read.

As Meg walked home she figured she should hang out with some friends later that day once she finished the book. She pulled out her phone and checked the time. The phone screen lit up to reveal “6:13 am.” She figured her friend should be up by now.

Meg unlocked her phone and opened up the messages app. She scrolled a little bit until she saw the contact name “Mac!!.”

She started typing, “Hey pooks!! I know it’s early but I really want to hang out today :) pls ask your parents if we can hang out!!!! Is it ok if we go to the bowling alley? I’m bad at bowling but I know you like it so I’ll have fun! >_<“

A few minutes later a message appeared on screen from Mac. “Ofc pookie 🥰 I’ll ask my mom if we can hang out” a few seconds after that message a new one was sent by them. “Is 12:30 a good time? Also is it ok if a bring Natalie? She’s the girl with the long white dyed who im who you met with a few weeks ago”

“What the fuck did you say 🥺”

“Basically can the girl with the white hair who you met come or not”

“I don’t give a fuck bring her over if you want the more people the better 🎉🎉🎉”

A little while later Meg arrived at home. She unlocked the door and headed to her room to finally read her new book. She sat down on her bed and put in headphones to listen to light background music while she read.

As Meg got lost in the pages she failed to notice the warm brown eyes staring at her through a small opening in her curtains covering a large window.

[cleverhottubmiracle]

There’s a common saying that when you step outside in London (or any city in England for that matter), £100 leaves your account almost instantly. Without realising, you’ve spent more money than you anticipated in a day because of the rising cost of living. Matters are made worse for our bank accounts by the fact that we are manipulated by Big everything: Big Beauty, Big Fashion, Big Sweet Treat and Big Matcha alike. We are told we can buy happiness and relaxation through “self-care” products like face masks and pamper sets and even buy a whole new life through purchasing the “right” clothes and shoes. There’s a pervasive belief that consumption equates to happiness. I often catch myself feeling inexplicably sad if I’ve gone out for the day without spending any money, as though the act of leaving the house isn’t about enjoying fresh air or connecting with nature but about fulfilling the role of a “good” consumer. When I fail to meet that expectation, it feels like I’ve failed altogether. More and more young people feel the same way and ended 2024 declaring they wanted to change their consumption habits by participating in a low-buy or no-buy year in 2025. “I have been living paycheck to paycheck, in and out of my overdraft, since I got my first job at 16,” explains 26-year-old Mia Westrap, who spearheaded the no-buy year trend on TikTok this time last year. “At university, I got into £3,000 worth of debt in my overdraft. What I’m doing with this no-buy year is using it as a tool to really understand my finances and take a hard look at where my money is going. I fell victim to lifestyle creep; whether I had a salary of £24,000 or £35,000 a year, I still ended up in the exact same position every single month.” While it can be argued that Westrap ended up in her overdraft every month regardless of her salary because of the cost of living crisis and structural issues, Westrap and other no-buy commentators encourage people to take more responsibility for their finances. If you want to challenge your consumption habits and save money, here are some tips on how to successfully participate in a low-to-no-buy year. Before embarking on a low-to-no-buy year, you need to familiarise yourself with your finances. For many, the idea of checking their bank balance is daunting, but understanding how much money you have coming in each month and where it’s going is essential. “Rather than viewing your money as your worst enemy, try to see it as your best friend,” Westrap tells Dazed. “I was determined to stop feeling a pit in my stomach every time I checked my bank account. So, on a day when I felt particularly brave, I went through three months’ worth of bank statements to see exactly where my money was going. Even by simply doing that and cancelling a few subscriptions, I was able to save myself three figures a month.” The more familiar you become with your finances, the less intimidating checking your bank account will feel. Your excavation shouldn’t stop at your banking app. Before committing to a year without shopping, take stock of what you already own. “Shop your own belongings!” exclaims Westrop. “Go through your bookshelves or wardrobe and rediscover the things you already have.” Hannah Blass, a 29-year-old former shopaholic who participated in a clothing no-buy last year, agrees. “Focus on decluttering your wardrobe and analysing what you wear and don’t wear while you’re on your shopping break. This process kept me focused on what I already owned. Engaging with my wardrobe kept me busy, and my perspective shifted from seeing my closet as ‘half empty’ to ‘half full’.” Keeping track of what you own can also be enjoyable. For instance, you could catalogue your books using the LIBIB library management app by scanning their barcodes with your phone. The app allows you to see your entire collection, helping you rediscover forgotten favourites and reignite excitement about what you already have. It’s vital to make a realistic plan before you begin your low-to-no-buy year. The goal is to challenge your consumption habits and build discipline, not to punish yourself. For example, if Netflix is something you truly enjoy and use regularly, there’s no need to cut it out entirely. Instead, focus on eliminating services or expenses you use less frequently or are more willing to let go of. A practical approach will increase your chances of success. “I structured my no-buy year into three lists: red, yellow and green,” Westrap explains. “The red list included absolute ‘no’s’ in terms of what I could spend my money on, notably Pepsi Max (which I spent around £2k a year on at that point), eating out at restaurants, takeaways, books and clothes. Yellow items were things I was allowed to spend money on but with some caveats, such as cinema tickets but no snacks or drinks at the cinema. The green list included things I didn’t restrict at all, like groceries. I didn’t want to set myself any covert ‘food rules’ due to a disordered eating past. If you’re like me and enjoy gamifying your life, having rules to hold yourself accountable can be the best approach to a no-buy year.” Similarly, 35-year-old Elysia Berman who participated in a no-buy year last year, emphasises the importance of balance: “Having some allowances for small indulgences makes it easier to stick to your commitment to avoid more significant expenses like clothes or makeup. A moderate, flexible plan is key to making a no-buy year successful.” This tip is crucial for a successful low-to-no-buy year: eat before leaving the house and, if possible, bring snacks with you. In fast-paced city life, where we’re always rushing from one place to another, eating often takes a backseat. However, a significant portion of our spending goes on food and drinks we could prepare at home. Taking the time to plan meals and snacks not only saves money but also allows you to improve your cooking skills. “Get used to carrying a heavy bag around with everything you’d be tempted to buy,” Westrap advises. “I would never leave the house hungry; otherwise, I’d grab quick, easy food while I was out. I’d carry a coffee flask, a book and an extra layer of clothing so I wouldn’t be tempted to shop unnecessarily.” Small preparations like these can make a big difference, helping you stay on track and reduce impulse spending while you’re out. Self-discipline can be challenging, but you don’t have to navigate your low-to-no-buy year alone. Share your plan with friends and family and ask them to help keep you accountable when temptation strikes or when you’re considering bending the rules. Seek second opinions before making purchases or enlist your most opinionated friend to challenge your decisions. Do you really need those shoes, or could that money be better saved or directed towards mutual aid? “As part of my no-buy rules, I recruited an accountability partner (my fiancé),” explains Blass. “They regularly checked in on my progress, providing that extra external pressure to stay consistent.” You will slip up and break your rules from time to time – it’s inevitable! When you’re accustomed to mindless consumption, breaking the habit is no easy feat. However, deciding to challenge your overconsumption is already a significant step towards becoming a more mindful consumer, saving money and spending on what truly matters to you. “I thought I’d be really hard on myself whenever I broke my no-buy year rules, but I ended up showing myself a lot of grace,” admits Westrap. “My weight fluctuates throughout the year, and during the summer, I felt so low about my body image that buying one top and one pair of trousers was the best thing I could do for myself. They became staples in so many outfits, and because it was a planned and thoughtful purchase, I didn’t feel too guilty. For anyone doing a no-buy year, I think it’s important to focus on how well you’re doing overall. Even one day of not buying anything unnecessary is better than zero days, and that’s often the starting point for most of us.” Westrap also warns against falling into a defeatist mindset: “It’s easy to think, ‘What’s the point?’ especially for those living paycheck to paycheck or in debt. You might say, ‘I’m going to max out my overdraft this month anyway, so why not now?’ This can quickly spiral into, ‘I’ve broken my no-buy year, so I might as well spend freely for the rest of the month.’ Instead, recognise that breaking one arbitrary rule doesn’t define your progress. Acknowledge it, move on and keep going.” !function (f, b, e, v, n, t, s) if (f.fbq) return; n = f.fbq = function () n.callMethod ? n.callMethod.apply(n, arguments) : n.queue.push(arguments) ; if (!f._fbq) f._fbq = n; n.push = n; n.loaded = !0; n.version = '2.0'; n.queue = []; t = b.createElement(e); t.async = !0; t.src = v; s = b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(t, s) (window, document, 'script', ' fbq('init', '357833301087547'); fbq('track', "PageView"); Source link

[norajworld]

There’s a common saying that when you step outside in London (or any city in England for that matter), £100 leaves your account almost instantly. Without realising, you’ve spent more money than you anticipated in a day because of the rising cost of living. Matters are made worse for our bank accounts by the fact that we are manipulated by Big everything: Big Beauty, Big Fashion, Big Sweet Treat and Big Matcha alike. We are told we can buy happiness and relaxation through “self-care” products like face masks and pamper sets and even buy a whole new life through purchasing the “right” clothes and shoes. There’s a pervasive belief that consumption equates to happiness. I often catch myself feeling inexplicably sad if I’ve gone out for the day without spending any money, as though the act of leaving the house isn’t about enjoying fresh air or connecting with nature but about fulfilling the role of a “good” consumer. When I fail to meet that expectation, it feels like I’ve failed altogether. More and more young people feel the same way and ended 2024 declaring they wanted to change their consumption habits by participating in a low-buy or no-buy year in 2025. “I have been living paycheck to paycheck, in and out of my overdraft, since I got my first job at 16,” explains 26-year-old Mia Westrap, who spearheaded the no-buy year trend on TikTok this time last year. “At university, I got into £3,000 worth of debt in my overdraft. What I’m doing with this no-buy year is using it as a tool to really understand my finances and take a hard look at where my money is going. I fell victim to lifestyle creep; whether I had a salary of £24,000 or £35,000 a year, I still ended up in the exact same position every single month.” While it can be argued that Westrap ended up in her overdraft every month regardless of her salary because of the cost of living crisis and structural issues, Westrap and other no-buy commentators encourage people to take more responsibility for their finances. If you want to challenge your consumption habits and save money, here are some tips on how to successfully participate in a low-to-no-buy year. Before embarking on a low-to-no-buy year, you need to familiarise yourself with your finances. For many, the idea of checking their bank balance is daunting, but understanding how much money you have coming in each month and where it’s going is essential. “Rather than viewing your money as your worst enemy, try to see it as your best friend,” Westrap tells Dazed. “I was determined to stop feeling a pit in my stomach every time I checked my bank account. So, on a day when I felt particularly brave, I went through three months’ worth of bank statements to see exactly where my money was going. Even by simply doing that and cancelling a few subscriptions, I was able to save myself three figures a month.” The more familiar you become with your finances, the less intimidating checking your bank account will feel. Your excavation shouldn’t stop at your banking app. Before committing to a year without shopping, take stock of what you already own. “Shop your own belongings!” exclaims Westrop. “Go through your bookshelves or wardrobe and rediscover the things you already have.” Hannah Blass, a 29-year-old former shopaholic who participated in a clothing no-buy last year, agrees. “Focus on decluttering your wardrobe and analysing what you wear and don’t wear while you’re on your shopping break. This process kept me focused on what I already owned. Engaging with my wardrobe kept me busy, and my perspective shifted from seeing my closet as ‘half empty’ to ‘half full’.” Keeping track of what you own can also be enjoyable. For instance, you could catalogue your books using the LIBIB library management app by scanning their barcodes with your phone. The app allows you to see your entire collection, helping you rediscover forgotten favourites and reignite excitement about what you already have. It’s vital to make a realistic plan before you begin your low-to-no-buy year. The goal is to challenge your consumption habits and build discipline, not to punish yourself. For example, if Netflix is something you truly enjoy and use regularly, there’s no need to cut it out entirely. Instead, focus on eliminating services or expenses you use less frequently or are more willing to let go of. A practical approach will increase your chances of success. “I structured my no-buy year into three lists: red, yellow and green,” Westrap explains. “The red list included absolute ‘no’s’ in terms of what I could spend my money on, notably Pepsi Max (which I spent around £2k a year on at that point), eating out at restaurants, takeaways, books and clothes. Yellow items were things I was allowed to spend money on but with some caveats, such as cinema tickets but no snacks or drinks at the cinema. The green list included things I didn’t restrict at all, like groceries. I didn’t want to set myself any covert ‘food rules’ due to a disordered eating past. If you’re like me and enjoy gamifying your life, having rules to hold yourself accountable can be the best approach to a no-buy year.” Similarly, 35-year-old Elysia Berman who participated in a no-buy year last year, emphasises the importance of balance: “Having some allowances for small indulgences makes it easier to stick to your commitment to avoid more significant expenses like clothes or makeup. A moderate, flexible plan is key to making a no-buy year successful.” This tip is crucial for a successful low-to-no-buy year: eat before leaving the house and, if possible, bring snacks with you. In fast-paced city life, where we’re always rushing from one place to another, eating often takes a backseat. However, a significant portion of our spending goes on food and drinks we could prepare at home. Taking the time to plan meals and snacks not only saves money but also allows you to improve your cooking skills. “Get used to carrying a heavy bag around with everything you’d be tempted to buy,” Westrap advises. “I would never leave the house hungry; otherwise, I’d grab quick, easy food while I was out. I’d carry a coffee flask, a book and an extra layer of clothing so I wouldn’t be tempted to shop unnecessarily.” Small preparations like these can make a big difference, helping you stay on track and reduce impulse spending while you’re out. Self-discipline can be challenging, but you don’t have to navigate your low-to-no-buy year alone. Share your plan with friends and family and ask them to help keep you accountable when temptation strikes or when you’re considering bending the rules. Seek second opinions before making purchases or enlist your most opinionated friend to challenge your decisions. Do you really need those shoes, or could that money be better saved or directed towards mutual aid? “As part of my no-buy rules, I recruited an accountability partner (my fiancé),” explains Blass. “They regularly checked in on my progress, providing that extra external pressure to stay consistent.” You will slip up and break your rules from time to time – it’s inevitable! When you’re accustomed to mindless consumption, breaking the habit is no easy feat. However, deciding to challenge your overconsumption is already a significant step towards becoming a more mindful consumer, saving money and spending on what truly matters to you. “I thought I’d be really hard on myself whenever I broke my no-buy year rules, but I ended up showing myself a lot of grace,” admits Westrap. “My weight fluctuates throughout the year, and during the summer, I felt so low about my body image that buying one top and one pair of trousers was the best thing I could do for myself. They became staples in so many outfits, and because it was a planned and thoughtful purchase, I didn’t feel too guilty. For anyone doing a no-buy year, I think it’s important to focus on how well you’re doing overall. Even one day of not buying anything unnecessary is better than zero days, and that’s often the starting point for most of us.” Westrap also warns against falling into a defeatist mindset: “It’s easy to think, ‘What’s the point?’ especially for those living paycheck to paycheck or in debt. You might say, ‘I’m going to max out my overdraft this month anyway, so why not now?’ This can quickly spiral into, ‘I’ve broken my no-buy year, so I might as well spend freely for the rest of the month.’ Instead, recognise that breaking one arbitrary rule doesn’t define your progress. Acknowledge it, move on and keep going.” !function (f, b, e, v, n, t, s) if (f.fbq) return; n = f.fbq = function () n.callMethod ? n.callMethod.apply(n, arguments) : n.queue.push(arguments) ; if (!f._fbq) f._fbq = n; n.push = n; n.loaded = !0; n.version = '2.0'; n.queue = []; t = b.createElement(e); t.async = !0; t.src = v; s = b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(t, s) (window, document, 'script', ' fbq('init', '357833301087547'); fbq('track', "PageView"); Source link

[ellajme0]

There’s a common saying that when you step outside in London (or any city in England for that matter), £100 leaves your account almost instantly. Without realising, you’ve spent more money than you anticipated in a day because of the rising cost of living. Matters are made worse for our bank accounts by the fact that we are manipulated by Big everything: Big Beauty, Big Fashion, Big Sweet Treat and Big Matcha alike. We are told we can buy happiness and relaxation through “self-care” products like face masks and pamper sets and even buy a whole new life through purchasing the “right” clothes and shoes. There’s a pervasive belief that consumption equates to happiness. I often catch myself feeling inexplicably sad if I’ve gone out for the day without spending any money, as though the act of leaving the house isn’t about enjoying fresh air or connecting with nature but about fulfilling the role of a “good” consumer. When I fail to meet that expectation, it feels like I’ve failed altogether. More and more young people feel the same way and ended 2024 declaring they wanted to change their consumption habits by participating in a low-buy or no-buy year in 2025. “I have been living paycheck to paycheck, in and out of my overdraft, since I got my first job at 16,” explains 26-year-old Mia Westrap, who spearheaded the no-buy year trend on TikTok this time last year. “At university, I got into £3,000 worth of debt in my overdraft. What I’m doing with this no-buy year is using it as a tool to really understand my finances and take a hard look at where my money is going. I fell victim to lifestyle creep; whether I had a salary of £24,000 or £35,000 a year, I still ended up in the exact same position every single month.” While it can be argued that Westrap ended up in her overdraft every month regardless of her salary because of the cost of living crisis and structural issues, Westrap and other no-buy commentators encourage people to take more responsibility for their finances. If you want to challenge your consumption habits and save money, here are some tips on how to successfully participate in a low-to-no-buy year. Before embarking on a low-to-no-buy year, you need to familiarise yourself with your finances. For many, the idea of checking their bank balance is daunting, but understanding how much money you have coming in each month and where it’s going is essential. “Rather than viewing your money as your worst enemy, try to see it as your best friend,” Westrap tells Dazed. “I was determined to stop feeling a pit in my stomach every time I checked my bank account. So, on a day when I felt particularly brave, I went through three months’ worth of bank statements to see exactly where my money was going. Even by simply doing that and cancelling a few subscriptions, I was able to save myself three figures a month.” The more familiar you become with your finances, the less intimidating checking your bank account will feel. Your excavation shouldn’t stop at your banking app. Before committing to a year without shopping, take stock of what you already own. “Shop your own belongings!” exclaims Westrop. “Go through your bookshelves or wardrobe and rediscover the things you already have.” Hannah Blass, a 29-year-old former shopaholic who participated in a clothing no-buy last year, agrees. “Focus on decluttering your wardrobe and analysing what you wear and don’t wear while you’re on your shopping break. This process kept me focused on what I already owned. Engaging with my wardrobe kept me busy, and my perspective shifted from seeing my closet as ‘half empty’ to ‘half full’.” Keeping track of what you own can also be enjoyable. For instance, you could catalogue your books using the LIBIB library management app by scanning their barcodes with your phone. The app allows you to see your entire collection, helping you rediscover forgotten favourites and reignite excitement about what you already have. It’s vital to make a realistic plan before you begin your low-to-no-buy year. The goal is to challenge your consumption habits and build discipline, not to punish yourself. For example, if Netflix is something you truly enjoy and use regularly, there’s no need to cut it out entirely. Instead, focus on eliminating services or expenses you use less frequently or are more willing to let go of. A practical approach will increase your chances of success. “I structured my no-buy year into three lists: red, yellow and green,” Westrap explains. “The red list included absolute ‘no’s’ in terms of what I could spend my money on, notably Pepsi Max (which I spent around £2k a year on at that point), eating out at restaurants, takeaways, books and clothes. Yellow items were things I was allowed to spend money on but with some caveats, such as cinema tickets but no snacks or drinks at the cinema. The green list included things I didn’t restrict at all, like groceries. I didn’t want to set myself any covert ‘food rules’ due to a disordered eating past. If you’re like me and enjoy gamifying your life, having rules to hold yourself accountable can be the best approach to a no-buy year.” Similarly, 35-year-old Elysia Berman who participated in a no-buy year last year, emphasises the importance of balance: “Having some allowances for small indulgences makes it easier to stick to your commitment to avoid more significant expenses like clothes or makeup. A moderate, flexible plan is key to making a no-buy year successful.” This tip is crucial for a successful low-to-no-buy year: eat before leaving the house and, if possible, bring snacks with you. In fast-paced city life, where we’re always rushing from one place to another, eating often takes a backseat. However, a significant portion of our spending goes on food and drinks we could prepare at home. Taking the time to plan meals and snacks not only saves money but also allows you to improve your cooking skills. “Get used to carrying a heavy bag around with everything you’d be tempted to buy,” Westrap advises. “I would never leave the house hungry; otherwise, I’d grab quick, easy food while I was out. I’d carry a coffee flask, a book and an extra layer of clothing so I wouldn’t be tempted to shop unnecessarily.” Small preparations like these can make a big difference, helping you stay on track and reduce impulse spending while you’re out. Self-discipline can be challenging, but you don’t have to navigate your low-to-no-buy year alone. Share your plan with friends and family and ask them to help keep you accountable when temptation strikes or when you’re considering bending the rules. Seek second opinions before making purchases or enlist your most opinionated friend to challenge your decisions. Do you really need those shoes, or could that money be better saved or directed towards mutual aid? “As part of my no-buy rules, I recruited an accountability partner (my fiancé),” explains Blass. “They regularly checked in on my progress, providing that extra external pressure to stay consistent.” You will slip up and break your rules from time to time – it’s inevitable! When you’re accustomed to mindless consumption, breaking the habit is no easy feat. However, deciding to challenge your overconsumption is already a significant step towards becoming a more mindful consumer, saving money and spending on what truly matters to you. “I thought I’d be really hard on myself whenever I broke my no-buy year rules, but I ended up showing myself a lot of grace,” admits Westrap. “My weight fluctuates throughout the year, and during the summer, I felt so low about my body image that buying one top and one pair of trousers was the best thing I could do for myself. They became staples in so many outfits, and because it was a planned and thoughtful purchase, I didn’t feel too guilty. For anyone doing a no-buy year, I think it’s important to focus on how well you’re doing overall. Even one day of not buying anything unnecessary is better than zero days, and that’s often the starting point for most of us.” Westrap also warns against falling into a defeatist mindset: “It’s easy to think, ‘What’s the point?’ especially for those living paycheck to paycheck or in debt. You might say, ‘I’m going to max out my overdraft this month anyway, so why not now?’ This can quickly spiral into, ‘I’ve broken my no-buy year, so I might as well spend freely for the rest of the month.’ Instead, recognise that breaking one arbitrary rule doesn’t define your progress. Acknowledge it, move on and keep going.” !function (f, b, e, v, n, t, s) if (f.fbq) return; n = f.fbq = function () n.callMethod ? n.callMethod.apply(n, arguments) : n.queue.push(arguments) ; if (!f._fbq) f._fbq = n; n.push = n; n.loaded = !0; n.version = '2.0'; n.queue = []; t = b.createElement(e); t.async = !0; t.src = v; s = b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(t, s) (window, document, 'script', ' fbq('init', '357833301087547'); fbq('track', "PageView"); Source link

[chilimili212]

There’s a common saying that when you step outside in London (or any city in England for that matter), ��100 leaves your account almost instantly. Without realising, you’ve spent more money than you anticipated in a day because of the rising cost of living. Matters are made worse for our bank accounts by the fact that we are manipulated by Big everything: Big Beauty, Big Fashion, Big Sweet Treat and Big Matcha alike. We are told we can buy happiness and relaxation through “self-care” products like face masks and pamper sets and even buy a whole new life through purchasing the “right” clothes and shoes. There’s a pervasive belief that consumption equates to happiness. I often catch myself feeling inexplicably sad if I’ve gone out for the day without spending any money, as though the act of leaving the house isn’t about enjoying fresh air or connecting with nature but about fulfilling the role of a “good” consumer. When I fail to meet that expectation, it feels like I’ve failed altogether. More and more young people feel the same way and ended 2024 declaring they wanted to change their consumption habits by participating in a low-buy or no-buy year in 2025. “I have been living paycheck to paycheck, in and out of my overdraft, since I got my first job at 16,” explains 26-year-old Mia Westrap, who spearheaded the no-buy year trend on TikTok this time last year. “At university, I got into £3,000 worth of debt in my overdraft. What I’m doing with this no-buy year is using it as a tool to really understand my finances and take a hard look at where my money is going. I fell victim to lifestyle creep; whether I had a salary of £24,000 or £35,000 a year, I still ended up in the exact same position every single month.” While it can be argued that Westrap ended up in her overdraft every month regardless of her salary because of the cost of living crisis and structural issues, Westrap and other no-buy commentators encourage people to take more responsibility for their finances. If you want to challenge your consumption habits and save money, here are some tips on how to successfully participate in a low-to-no-buy year. Before embarking on a low-to-no-buy year, you need to familiarise yourself with your finances. For many, the idea of checking their bank balance is daunting, but understanding how much money you have coming in each month and where it’s going is essential. “Rather than viewing your money as your worst enemy, try to see it as your best friend,” Westrap tells Dazed. “I was determined to stop feeling a pit in my stomach every time I checked my bank account. So, on a day when I felt particularly brave, I went through three months’ worth of bank statements to see exactly where my money was going. Even by simply doing that and cancelling a few subscriptions, I was able to save myself three figures a month.” The more familiar you become with your finances, the less intimidating checking your bank account will feel. Your excavation shouldn’t stop at your banking app. Before committing to a year without shopping, take stock of what you already own. “Shop your own belongings!” exclaims Westrop. “Go through your bookshelves or wardrobe and rediscover the things you already have.” Hannah Blass, a 29-year-old former shopaholic who participated in a clothing no-buy last year, agrees. “Focus on decluttering your wardrobe and analysing what you wear and don’t wear while you’re on your shopping break. This process kept me focused on what I already owned. Engaging with my wardrobe kept me busy, and my perspective shifted from seeing my closet as ‘half empty’ to ‘half full’.” Keeping track of what you own can also be enjoyable. For instance, you could catalogue your books using the LIBIB library management app by scanning their barcodes with your phone. The app allows you to see your entire collection, helping you rediscover forgotten favourites and reignite excitement about what you already have. It’s vital to make a realistic plan before you begin your low-to-no-buy year. The goal is to challenge your consumption habits and build discipline, not to punish yourself. For example, if Netflix is something you truly enjoy and use regularly, there’s no need to cut it out entirely. Instead, focus on eliminating services or expenses you use less frequently or are more willing to let go of. A practical approach will increase your chances of success. “I structured my no-buy year into three lists: red, yellow and green,” Westrap explains. “The red list included absolute ‘no’s’ in terms of what I could spend my money on, notably Pepsi Max (which I spent around £2k a year on at that point), eating out at restaurants, takeaways, books and clothes. Yellow items were things I was allowed to spend money on but with some caveats, such as cinema tickets but no snacks or drinks at the cinema. The green list included things I didn’t restrict at all, like groceries. I didn’t want to set myself any covert ‘food rules’ due to a disordered eating past. If you’re like me and enjoy gamifying your life, having rules to hold yourself accountable can be the best approach to a no-buy year.” Similarly, 35-year-old Elysia Berman who participated in a no-buy year last year, emphasises the importance of balance: “Having some allowances for small indulgences makes it easier to stick to your commitment to avoid more significant expenses like clothes or makeup. A moderate, flexible plan is key to making a no-buy year successful.” This tip is crucial for a successful low-to-no-buy year: eat before leaving the house and, if possible, bring snacks with you. In fast-paced city life, where we’re always rushing from one place to another, eating often takes a backseat. However, a significant portion of our spending goes on food and drinks we could prepare at home. Taking the time to plan meals and snacks not only saves money but also allows you to improve your cooking skills. “Get used to carrying a heavy bag around with everything you’d be tempted to buy,” Westrap advises. “I would never leave the house hungry; otherwise, I’d grab quick, easy food while I was out. I’d carry a coffee flask, a book and an extra layer of clothing so I wouldn’t be tempted to shop unnecessarily.” Small preparations like these can make a big difference, helping you stay on track and reduce impulse spending while you’re out. Self-discipline can be challenging, but you don’t have to navigate your low-to-no-buy year alone. Share your plan with friends and family and ask them to help keep you accountable when temptation strikes or when you’re considering bending the rules. Seek second opinions before making purchases or enlist your most opinionated friend to challenge your decisions. Do you really need those shoes, or could that money be better saved or directed towards mutual aid? “As part of my no-buy rules, I recruited an accountability partner (my fiancé),” explains Blass. “They regularly checked in on my progress, providing that extra external pressure to stay consistent.” You will slip up and break your rules from time to time – it’s inevitable! When you’re accustomed to mindless consumption, breaking the habit is no easy feat. However, deciding to challenge your overconsumption is already a significant step towards becoming a more mindful consumer, saving money and spending on what truly matters to you. “I thought I’d be really hard on myself whenever I broke my no-buy year rules, but I ended up showing myself a lot of grace,” admits Westrap. “My weight fluctuates throughout the year, and during the summer, I felt so low about my body image that buying one top and one pair of trousers was the best thing I could do for myself. They became staples in so many outfits, and because it was a planned and thoughtful purchase, I didn’t feel too guilty. For anyone doing a no-buy year, I think it’s important to focus on how well you’re doing overall. Even one day of not buying anything unnecessary is better than zero days, and that’s often the starting point for most of us.” Westrap also warns against falling into a defeatist mindset: “It’s easy to think, ‘What’s the point?’ especially for those living paycheck to paycheck or in debt. You might say, ‘I’m going to max out my overdraft this month anyway, so why not now?’ This can quickly spiral into, ‘I’ve broken my no-buy year, so I might as well spend freely for the rest of the month.’ Instead, recognise that breaking one arbitrary rule doesn’t define your progress. Acknowledge it, move on and keep going.” !function (f, b, e, v, n, t, s) if (f.fbq) return; n = f.fbq = function () n.callMethod ? n.callMethod.apply(n, arguments) : n.queue.push(arguments) ; if (!f._fbq) f._fbq = n; n.push = n; n.loaded = !0; n.version = '2.0'; n.queue = []; t = b.createElement(e); t.async = !0; t.src = v; s = b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(t, s) (window, document, 'script', ' fbq('init', '357833301087547'); fbq('track', "PageView"); Source link

[oliviajoyice21]

There’s a common saying that when you step outside in London (or any city in England for that matter), £100 leaves your account almost instantly. Without realising, you’ve spent more money than you anticipated in a day because of the rising cost of living. Matters are made worse for our bank accounts by the fact that we are manipulated by Big everything: Big Beauty, Big Fashion, Big Sweet Treat and Big Matcha alike. We are told we can buy happiness and relaxation through “self-care” products like face masks and pamper sets and even buy a whole new life through purchasing the “right” clothes and shoes. There’s a pervasive belief that consumption equates to happiness. I often catch myself feeling inexplicably sad if I’ve gone out for the day without spending any money, as though the act of leaving the house isn’t about enjoying fresh air or connecting with nature but about fulfilling the role of a “good” consumer. When I fail to meet that expectation, it feels like I’ve failed altogether. More and more young people feel the same way and ended 2024 declaring they wanted to change their consumption habits by participating in a low-buy or no-buy year in 2025. “I have been living paycheck to paycheck, in and out of my overdraft, since I got my first job at 16,” explains 26-year-old Mia Westrap, who spearheaded the no-buy year trend on TikTok this time last year. “At university, I got into £3,000 worth of debt in my overdraft. What I’m doing with this no-buy year is using it as a tool to really understand my finances and take a hard look at where my money is going. I fell victim to lifestyle creep; whether I had a salary of £24,000 or £35,000 a year, I still ended up in the exact same position every single month.” While it can be argued that Westrap ended up in her overdraft every month regardless of her salary because of the cost of living crisis and structural issues, Westrap and other no-buy commentators encourage people to take more responsibility for their finances. If you want to challenge your consumption habits and save money, here are some tips on how to successfully participate in a low-to-no-buy year. Before embarking on a low-to-no-buy year, you need to familiarise yourself with your finances. For many, the idea of checking their bank balance is daunting, but understanding how much money you have coming in each month and where it’s going is essential. “Rather than viewing your money as your worst enemy, try to see it as your best friend,” Westrap tells Dazed. “I was determined to stop feeling a pit in my stomach every time I checked my bank account. So, on a day when I felt particularly brave, I went through three months’ worth of bank statements to see exactly where my money was going. Even by simply doing that and cancelling a few subscriptions, I was able to save myself three figures a month.” The more familiar you become with your finances, the less intimidating checking your bank account will feel. Your excavation shouldn’t stop at your banking app. Before committing to a year without shopping, take stock of what you already own. “Shop your own belongings!” exclaims Westrop. “Go through your bookshelves or wardrobe and rediscover the things you already have.” Hannah Blass, a 29-year-old former shopaholic who participated in a clothing no-buy last year, agrees. “Focus on decluttering your wardrobe and analysing what you wear and don’t wear while you’re on your shopping break. This process kept me focused on what I already owned. Engaging with my wardrobe kept me busy, and my perspective shifted from seeing my closet as ‘half empty’ to ‘half full’.” Keeping track of what you own can also be enjoyable. For instance, you could catalogue your books using the LIBIB library management app by scanning their barcodes with your phone. The app allows you to see your entire collection, helping you rediscover forgotten favourites and reignite excitement about what you already have. It’s vital to make a realistic plan before you begin your low-to-no-buy year. The goal is to challenge your consumption habits and build discipline, not to punish yourself. For example, if Netflix is something you truly enjoy and use regularly, there’s no need to cut it out entirely. Instead, focus on eliminating services or expenses you use less frequently or are more willing to let go of. A practical approach will increase your chances of success. “I structured my no-buy year into three lists: red, yellow and green,” Westrap explains. “The red list included absolute ‘no’s’ in terms of what I could spend my money on, notably Pepsi Max (which I spent around £2k a year on at that point), eating out at restaurants, takeaways, books and clothes. Yellow items were things I was allowed to spend money on but with some caveats, such as cinema tickets but no snacks or drinks at the cinema. The green list included things I didn’t restrict at all, like groceries. I didn’t want to set myself any covert ‘food rules’ due to a disordered eating past. If you’re like me and enjoy gamifying your life, having rules to hold yourself accountable can be the best approach to a no-buy year.” Similarly, 35-year-old Elysia Berman who participated in a no-buy year last year, emphasises the importance of balance: “Having some allowances for small indulgences makes it easier to stick to your commitment to avoid more significant expenses like clothes or makeup. A moderate, flexible plan is key to making a no-buy year successful.” This tip is crucial for a successful low-to-no-buy year: eat before leaving the house and, if possible, bring snacks with you. In fast-paced city life, where we’re always rushing from one place to another, eating often takes a backseat. However, a significant portion of our spending goes on food and drinks we could prepare at home. Taking the time to plan meals and snacks not only saves money but also allows you to improve your cooking skills. “Get used to carrying a heavy bag around with everything you’d be tempted to buy,” Westrap advises. “I would never leave the house hungry; otherwise, I’d grab quick, easy food while I was out. I’d carry a coffee flask, a book and an extra layer of clothing so I wouldn’t be tempted to shop unnecessarily.” Small preparations like these can make a big difference, helping you stay on track and reduce impulse spending while you’re out. Self-discipline can be challenging, but you don’t have to navigate your low-to-no-buy year alone. Share your plan with friends and family and ask them to help keep you accountable when temptation strikes or when you’re considering bending the rules. Seek second opinions before making purchases or enlist your most opinionated friend to challenge your decisions. Do you really need those shoes, or could that money be better saved or directed towards mutual aid? “As part of my no-buy rules, I recruited an accountability partner (my fiancé),” explains Blass. “They regularly checked in on my progress, providing that extra external pressure to stay consistent.” You will slip up and break your rules from time to time – it’s inevitable! When you’re accustomed to mindless consumption, breaking the habit is no easy feat. However, deciding to challenge your overconsumption is already a significant step towards becoming a more mindful consumer, saving money and spending on what truly matters to you. “I thought I’d be really hard on myself whenever I broke my no-buy year rules, but I ended up showing myself a lot of grace,” admits Westrap. “My weight fluctuates throughout the year, and during the summer, I felt so low about my body image that buying one top and one pair of trousers was the best thing I could do for myself. They became staples in so many outfits, and because it was a planned and thoughtful purchase, I didn’t feel too guilty. For anyone doing a no-buy year, I think it’s important to focus on how well you’re doing overall. Even one day of not buying anything unnecessary is better than zero days, and that’s often the starting point for most of us.” Westrap also warns against falling into a defeatist mindset: “It’s easy to think, ‘What’s the point?’ especially for those living paycheck to paycheck or in debt. You might say, ‘I’m going to max out my overdraft this month anyway, so why not now?’ This can quickly spiral into, ‘I’ve broken my no-buy year, so I might as well spend freely for the rest of the month.’ Instead, recognise that breaking one arbitrary rule doesn’t define your progress. Acknowledge it, move on and keep going.” !function (f, b, e, v, n, t, s) if (f.fbq) return; n = f.fbq = function () n.callMethod ? n.callMethod.apply(n, arguments) : n.queue.push(arguments) ; if (!f._fbq) f._fbq = n; n.push = n; n.loaded = !0; n.version = '2.0'; n.queue = []; t = b.createElement(e); t.async = !0; t.src = v; s = b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(t, s) (window, document, 'script', ' fbq('init', '357833301087547'); fbq('track', "PageView"); Source link

[gojoflakes]

after hours

pairings: nanami x black afab reader

summary: in which your fantasy finally comes true.

word count: 2k

warnings: nsfw, vulgar language, fingering, oral f receiving, unedited

The library was silent, but then again, when was it not?

You leaned forward in your rolling chair with your elbows propped up on your desk and nose deep in your phone. You discreetly hid it behind your computer, and with your eyes doing a quick once over to make sure the coast was clear, you swiped to the story you had paused writing.

You were just about to delve into drafting the steamy part earlier today, when your boss Nanami had unexpectedly came in and ordered you to arrange some misplaced books sitting along the shelves. Luckily you had exited out of the story just before he could see what you were writing, but now that the library was empty and he was nowhere to be found, you thought this would be the perfect opportunity to resume your previous endeavor.

You slid your brightness down and your eyes began to scan the words. The man currently had the main lead (who you made a librarian coincidentally) bent over her desk, his hands sinfully running all across her body as she mewled in contentment. You twisted in your seat, crossing your legs and covering your mouth the more you read, honestly impressed with yourself.

Though, you started to envision yourself in her shoes. You based the male lead after Nanami, and you’d be lying if you said this story wasn’t a fantasy you had already dreamed of happening many times. You had a crush on him ever since you started working at the library, but he was always too prickly and serious for you to ever get close enough to him. Still, he was beyond attractive and definitely your type. 

Your eyes suddenly closed as you started to think about Nanami being the one to bend you over your desk, kissing your neck as he pushed himself fully into your-

“What are you doing?”

Your eyes shot open to see Nanami standing beside you with his usual stoic expression covering his face. You jumped and turned your chair to face him, sending him a look mixed with horror and surprise.

“Sir, I didn’t mean-”

“You know you’re not supposed to be on your phone during work hours.” Nanami chided pointedly as he crossed his arms over his chest and you couldn’t stop your eyes from drinking in how his muscles flexed underneath his button down.

“Oh yes, I know. I was just... checking an email.” You quickly babbled while lying through your teeth. Nanami merely tsked under his breath before extending his hand out, motioning for you to place the device in his hands.

“Maybe if it’s in my possession you can focus more.”

You quietly sighed before quickly swiping out of the app you were writing in and placing your phone gently in his palm.

“Thank you.”

Nanami then started to walk away, but he halted once he saw that your screen was still lit up dimly. He moved his attention to figure out how to turn it off, but his eyes ending up seeing something more pressing instead.

You guiltily turned your head and saw that Nanami was still standing in his spot with his back towards you and your heart dropped to your stomach at the thought of him being upset with you.

“Look, I’m very sorry, sir. I promise I won’t be off task anymore.” You quipped in disappointment, but Nanami continued to remain silent.

Your eyebrows furrowed once you realized he still had yet to move, or let alone acknowledge your presence.

“Sir, is everything alright?”

Nanami abruptly clenched his hand around your phone.

“Did you write this?”

Nanami’s back was still facing you as the question left his lips and you sat in your chair slightly confused.

“I apologize, but what exactly are you referring to?”

Nanami slowly turned around on his heel, his eyes darker than what they had been moments ago.

“This.” He raised your phone in the air and It felt as If you had lost every once of melanin in your face once you recognized the app that you were supposed to have closed out.

You gulped nervously.

“I don’t know what that is, sir.”

“Oh really?” Nanami raised a disbelieving eyebrow before loudly clearing his throat and lifting the phone to his face.

“Nanami’s hands slowly traced along her thighs before forcefully spreading them apart, licking his lips hungrily at how wet she was for him.” He read out loud as he walked closer to you.

Your hand immediately flew to cover your mouth as Nanami continued reading, each line getting more explicit than the last.

“None of this rings a bell to you?” Nanami was finally next to you, and he boldly leaned his face into yours to ensure he had all your attention.

Your gaze widened at how menacing Nanami’s expression had become and with a deep, shaky breath, you turned your head to the side.

“I wrote it.” You confessed, barely above a whisper. You felt so embarrassed and ashamed of yourself, not to mention nervous that you were in possible jeopardy of losing your job. “I’m sorry for behaving so inappropriately, sir.”

Your head had drooped down to avoid eye contact. You knew Nanami would be disappointed and likely even repulsed, and you didn’t want him to see you at this point.

A low chuckle abruptly boomed into the air. 

You dubiously glanced up to see that Nanami had his arm covering his eyes as he leaned his head back and laughed to himself loudly.

“I never knew you were such a good writer.”

Nanami slowly lowered his arm back to his side, a grin still grazing his lips. He reached to loosen the tie bunched around his neck and used his other hand to run the loose strands of hair out of his face.

“But I have to admit, I don’t see you much as a fiction author.” He replied, stepping forward and putting his hands on the arms of your chair so that he was towering over you. “And since I’m the main character of your story, let me be the one to help you fix that.”

“What are you saying?” You sputtered in utter disbelief, wondering who the man standing before you right now was.

“I’m saying to stand up.”  

And with much skepticism, you carefully raised from your chair and moved to stand in front of your desk. You briefly looked over your shoulder to see Nanami behind you. His fingers began to trail your spine teasingly, just before he suddenly grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you against his chest. Nanami steadily ghosted his lips across your brown skin before placing a soft kiss to your jaw.

“I’ve never believed in mixing business with pleasure.” Nanami hummed absently, and you felt his hand gradually latch on to your waist.

“I’ve always acted in a professional manner whenever I came around you. Only speaking cordially and interacting when absolutely necessary. You are simply the employee and I the boss, and It is my duty to maintain only a respectable relationship between the both of us.”

Nanami placed your phone down beside you.

“But you know what?” Nanami questioned before pushing your body into the desk, bending you over so that your skirt lifted just a little.

“Fuck that.”

You squealed once you felt his cold hands reach under your shirt, ripping it so that the buttons flew in every direction. Your cherry-red bra was now on full display and the frigid breeze from the air conditioner elicited goosebumps to travel all over your skin.

“Nanami, what are you doing?” You gasped, quickly moving to cover yourself. Nanami could sense that you were startled by his actions, and he moved to retract himself.

“Do you want me to stop?”

You immediately paused at Nanami’s question. 

You wanted this, and you definitely wanted him. You had been daydreaming about this encounter for so long, and it honestly felt too good to be true. Though, at the same time, you knew that you couldn’t pass up this opportunity. Real or not.

“No.” You whispered quietly, turning your head to eye him slightly. “I... want you to keep going.”

Nanami smirked at your words. “Good.”

He then proceeded to roll your skirt down your legs, revealing your damp, crimson underwear to his gaze.

“You’re soaking through these.” Nanami grunted and you closed your eyes once you felt him peel them off your body as well. You were now on full display, your folds slick with wetness and begging for attention.

Nanami hummed in appreciation at the beautiful sight before him.

“You doing okay, sweetheart?” Nanami glanced at you for reassurance and you nodded your head.

“Yes…”

Nanami’s eyes shined in approval as he lowered himself so that he was on his knees behind you.

You jumped slightly once you felt Nanami’s nose suddenly brush against your wetness. His breath fanned your throbbing pussy, his slowness making you squirm slightly in impatience. Nanami pulled himself, licking his lips before lifting his hand to spread your lips apart with his fingers.

“I want you to moan as loud as you can, can you do that for me?” Nanami spoke, peering up at you expectantly.

“Yes.”

And with that, Nanami pushed his face into your heat and ran his tongue down all the way down until he reached your clit. He started sucking slowly, making you hiss at the affect he had on your swollen nub. He raised one of his long fingers, gradually shoving it into your dripping hole, and teasingly driving it in and out of you.

Your moans bounced off the library’s walls as you spread your legs wider to give him more access. Nanami’s mouth continued to greedily wrap around your sopping cunt, his constant grunts sending vibrations all across your body.

“Please.” Your voice begged, not even sure what you were asking for at this point. All you knew was that Nanami was making your legs shake from the overwhelming pleasure you felt at this moment.

Nanami quickly grabbed one of your legs and pushed it forward so that it was now propped on the desk. Your eyes widened at the new angle you were in, and your eyes nearly rolled to back of your head once you felt his fingers dig deeper into you.

“Shit- Nanami!” You cried while pushing yourself back against his face. Your movements was feverish, trying to chase your high since It felt so close.

Nanami smacked your thighs harshly as he continued slurping your slickness. Your juices trickled from his chin and the sloppy sounds his mouth was making could be heard from miles away.

Your head was thrown down and your mouth was now parted wide. Nanami knew you were on the edge, so he moved his face back and moved his fingers to rub quick, circular motions against your sensitive clit. 

You screamed loudly into your hand as you felt Nanami continue to plunge his fingers in and out of you, and with one last thrust, you finally unfolded beneath his touch.

You fell on the desk out of breath, streams of your cum running down your quivering thighs. You were spent, and you were about to close your heavy eyes until the sound of metal jingling met your ears. You weakly turned your head and your gaze grew wide once you saw Nanami’s pants drop to the floor and the outline of his length poking through his boxers. Though, you were more concerned about the look Nanami gave you. His gaze was dark and the half-sided grin adoring his lips made you shiver in need.

“Don’t look so tired. Our story isn’t over yet, sweetheart.”

[lacheri]

follow me

I do not consent or allow this to be posted on Tik Tok, or any other social media

pairing: switch!Eren and switch!fem bodied reader

content: college au, OnlyFans/sex work, masturbation (m), praise kink, oral (f and m receiving), squirting, penetrative sex, drug and alcohol use, classic college party, Eren is down horrendously bad, I believe in long haired Eren supremacy, minors DNI

summary: when jean finally convinces eren to crawl out from under his rock to join society on instagram, he finds there’s a whole lot more than just pictures of food. there’s you.

wc: 15.4k (I know it’s a long one, hope you enjoy tho)

Eren Jaeger had recently found himself in a very, very deep hole. It all started innocently, when one of his best friends Jean had convinced Eren to crawl out of his hole and create an Instagram to join society.

“C’mon Eren,” Jean had teased over a week ago as they studied out on the lawn of their school. “You have no idea what you’re missing out on. No one even uses Facebook anymore, it’s all for moms who want to brag about little Timmy’s genius for figuring out one plus one equals two.”

“What do you even do on Instagram?” Eren’s brows knitted together in confusion, Jean whipping his phone out to show Eren exactly how to use it.

“You post pictures,” Jean navigated to his profile, tapping and sliding down to show Eren all of Jean’s shameless selfies.

“Of just yourself?” he breathed, not comprehending the appeal at all. Don’t people look at his face enough?

“Well, you can post anything you want, that’s the beauty of it. Plus, when you’re not doing that, you get to see and like other people’s pictures.”

“But it says here you follow, 1,536 accounts? And you have 5,000 following you back?” Eren asked incredulously, surprised about how popular his friend’s online persona was. “How do you even know that many people?”

“You don’t,” Jean shrugged, making a few taps to his home page as posts began to load up. “Celebrities have Instagram, our friends have Instagram, fuck, every attractive person on the entire planet has one.”

“How do you even find these people?” Eren’s questioning never seemed to end, the concept out of his comprehension. Facebook was one thing, he personally knew every single one of his friends and family there, and honestly he really enjoyed people just talking about their day to day ordeals.

That’s when Jean forced Eren to hand his phone over and download the app. Jean snapped a quick picture of Eren, to which Eren had no reaction time to. Before he could protest, Jean had already uploaded the candid with some random song lyrics as the caption. To be honest with himself, Eren had to admit that Jean had taken a very flattering picture. He had his knee brought to his chest while his arm dangled over, back slumped and relaxed while he sat on the blanket they had set down before lounging there, hair in his signature sloppy man bun. It was mid day, so all the shadows casted behind his body as the sun’s rays illuminated every high point and contrast of his stoic face.

After a few follow backs from his friends, Armin and Mikasa, he had accumulated a few dozen likes, and Eren couldn’t help the feelings of instant gratifications wash over him, “Okay? So, now what?”

“Now,” Jean began to instruct him, putting the phone back in Eren’s hands after showing him the basics of social media. “Go to my page, and start following whoever you want from my following list. There’s some really hot girls.”

And when Eren laid in his dorm bed that night by himself, he did just that. He really didn’t want to give Jean the satisfaction of showing him who he followed, or why he decided to. His finger scrolled and scrolled through the following list on Jean’s Instagram, hitting the follow button on a few bands he really enjoyed. But then, his hand stopped at one username in particular. The avatar showed a pretty girl, smiling brightly into the camera, sun’s golden rays blooming behind her hair.

Eren tapped on the username, and the first thing he took note of was the bio. ‘Connoisseur of mimosas and rock and roll’, he had to smirk at that, what a simple sentence to sum yourself up with. His eyes flickered to the link in her bio, titled, OnlyFans. He titled his head, Jean hadn’t mentioned what OnlyFans was? Did everyone have an OnlyFans too, like Instagram? He tapped on the highlighted link to be met with a page of prices. What the fuck was so exclusive about it that he had to pay ten dollars for a single picture? As he scrolled down a bit more, he noticed the pricing rising to the final payment cost.

“200 dollars for a personal Snapchat and to talk to me every day?” he read aloud, mouth open in disgust. “What the fuck is this?”

He hit the done option in the upper left corner, returning to the Instagram page in question. He tapped on the first photo, the girl’s back facing the camera, completely bare as her hair trickled down the center. She was sitting in a pretty pink bath, floating flowers all around, staring out a window, captioned, ‘wishing you were here’. His gaze lingered on the dips of her waist, before scrolling down to see the girl in some more clothing. This one was a much prettier picture, glasses set on the brim of her nose while she sat comfortably at a wooden table in a library. She stared directly into the camera, a pretty smile on her face while her hands sat perched under her chin. Some books were open on the table, and Eren took note of the quilted skirt peeking out from the under the bottom, her knees tightly crossed. ‘finals week is going to be the death of me, thank the universe for coffee’.

Eren back tracked out of the photo after double tapping, trying to drink in a comprehensive idea of what exactly people were paying so much money to see. He scrolled, and landed on his answer. The girl sat on a stool, phone angled in the mirror to take in her frame, wearing nothing but black lingerie and heels with a smirk on her face, the caption simply, ‘follow me on OnlyFans, link in bio’.

‘Hey Jean, what’s OnlyFans?’ Eren typed a quick text to his now mentor, patiently waiting as three bubbles appeared from his friend’s end.

‘Lol I see what you’re using Instagram for now, Jaeger’, was Jean’s only reply, and Eren could feel himself getting frustrated. Before he could type back an angry text, those bubbles popped up once again. ‘It’s basically porn, you pay for people’s pictures and videos’.

‘Why would someone want to do that? It’s free almost everywhere else’.

‘Because, young grasshopper, girls are hot and I’m trynna see some titties’.

Eren rolled his eyes at his friend’s stupidity. Deducing that Jean was obviously one of these paying customers, Eren felt a little more secure in himself as he tapped the follow button on the girl’s page. What he wasn’t expecting though was a notification informing him she had followed back, followed quickly by another one liking his only post. Eren couldn’t hold back a blush, heart thumping in his chest. Did this girl think he was good looking?

The thought didn’t sit for long as yet another notification popped up, this time a comment. The girl had simply put a heart eyed emoji, followed by a fire emoji. Eren retreated in haste back to her profile, analyzing every picture and caption.

That had been a month ago, and now Eren had a full blown addiction to the website, more specifically her Instagram. Eren was even paying for her OnlyFans now, making excuses that the money he spent would be used for coffees and lunches anyhow, and he really had to nip his caffeine addiction in the butt so he might as well spend his cash on her.

She had just posted a photoset, one of many on her page, completely naked aside from a gold necklace adorned on her neck, a simple initial of ‘E’ rested prettily on her collarbone. It was like she knew Eren was devouring her social medias on a daily basis. It was all for him, Eren had concluded. There was no coincidence that she had followed and liked his own page, it was all fate and meant to be. Eren had figured out how to DM someone, thanks to Jean showing him how to during one of their classes, and he had taken full advantage of the girl’s inbox. Unfortunately with no reply or read receipt to even prove she had received his messages, introducing himself and showering the girl with compliments. Oh, Eren was down bad. He even brought himself to pay out the $50 tier on her OnlyFans for the month, tired of entering his card information for every daily post.

His dick twitched hard as he drank in her form, curvaceous and beautiful and feminine. It wasn’t even like he just wanted to fuck her either, if he needed relief like that he’d just hit up one of the handful of girls he had saved in his contacts. Eren Jaeger wanted to take this girl out on a fucking date. They had so much in common, they were practically soulmates. She liked and followed all the same bands Eren did, posted on her stories all about her favorite foods and her zodiac sign. While he didn’t really believe in that shit, his Google search history of checking if Aries was compatible spoke to something completely different.

And then Eren began noticing something. How the library she frequently posted pictures in was the same library on campus. All the restaurants she went to were in an hour radius of him, half of them being his usual hangout spots. She lived locally, which thoroughly surprised him. Had he seen her around before? No, definitely not, he would’ve definitely remembered her pretty face. None of the girls that he knew looked like her, and if Eren didn’t know what a woman’s body felt like, he would’ve sworn her body was made of plastic.

Eren was practically an expert at Instagram now, and had plenty of opportunities to follow other beautiful women, but he chose not to. He felt guilty one night as he maneuvered through another pretty girl’s pictures, quickly retreating back to the comfort of his favorite girl’s instead. This was one of the reasons Eren had fought getting online for so long, whenever he found something he liked, he got obsessive.

His attention was drawn back to her naked photos, and he slipped his hand under the fabric of his sweatpants as he began to fuck his fist to her pretty image. All for him, he panted as he imagined what she would look like in front of him, beautiful and begging for his touch.

“Thank you so much,” you smiled graciously at the Starbucks employee in front of you, taking your large iced coffee from his hands.

“No problem, have a great day!”

You tossed your hair behind your shoulder as you turned around, the smile still vibrant on your face. Today was a good day, you decided almost as soon as you woke up. After studying for finals for nearly two weeks straight, you finally had a day off to enjoy yourself. Your best friend, Sasha, had convinced you to go on a small shopping day with her. You eagerly agreed that morning, toothbrush forgotten in between your teeth as your fingers rapidly tapped away to schedule a time. You were running out of sexy outfits for your OnlyFans content, and frankly, you really need some new summer clothes. Spring was drawing to a close, and you couldn’t just wear hoodies and leggings all year round, no matter how much you wanted to.

The mall was about two blocks away from the Starbucks, and as you chugged down your coffee, you slid your phone out of your back pocket of your jeans to see multiple notifications from Instagram. Just more people liking your posts, and some DMs, but you just rolled your eyes. You got tired of explaining on your stories that they were broken, and Instagram had no intent on trying to adjust it so you’d be able to view your messages and reply. You sighed, slipping it back into your pocket as you made your way through the entrance of the shopping mall.

Sasha was seated at a table in the cafeteria near the entrance you had just walked through. She jumped out of her seat, a wide smile on her lips as she strutted up to your form.

“You ate without me?” you pouted, smelling the leftover scent of pizza wash over you.

“Yeah, but don’t worry, I’m still hungry,” Sasha waved her hand. This girl had the fastest metabolism of a person you had ever met, so her statement didn’t really phase you.

“Okay, so, before I spend all my money and forget, we have to go to the lingerie shop,” you stated, stomping your way to the escalators.

“I’m guessing your OnlyFans is doing good?” she asked, knowing just how expensive this certain store was as she lingered behind you.

“Dude, you literally wouldn’t believe it,” you sighed dreamily. “If I had known how much money I’d be making, I would’ve done it way sooner. You should seriously consider making your own.”

“Nah, I’ll just let you have the spotlight on this one,” she snickered as the both of you stepped on the moving staircase. “Are they all creepy old men?”

“No, surprisingly, there’s a few people I have classes with that follow me,” you gossiped. “You know Jean from economics?”

Sasha nodded, eyes widening, “No fucking way, he’s my friend! I’m not that surprised though, he’s always talking to girls and asking for their Instagrams.”

“He’s never even talked to me, right? But he buys every single post I put out! Which is crazy, considering it’d just be cheaper for him to buy the subscription,” you shrugged, stepping off the escalator and walking shortly afterwards into the lingerie store. “That’s what most my viewers do, anyways.”

“Seen anyone else interesting?” Sasha hummed, eyeing the various garments surrounding her in intrigue.

Your eyes honed in on a strappy bright red one piece, “Just a few of his friends, I think. One of them is pretty cute, actually, but he’s only got one picture up.”

“You talking about Eren?”

You nodded, eyes lighting up, “Yeah, do you know him? I’ve never seen him around campus before.”

Sasha was beginning to plot, “Yeah he usually hangs out with Armin and Mikasa, but he goes to a lot of house parties. You know, actually, I think Jean is throwing one soon. He rented a cabin for after finals, you should come!”

“Won’t that be weird?” you scrunched your face, picking up the red one piece and moving onto the next garment that caught your eye. “Like I said, I’ve never even talked to him.”

“Yeah but you know Mikasa and me,” she raised her thumb towards herself. “Eren will be there too.”

“All I said was that I thought he was cute, Sasha,” you laughed her off. “But I’ll think about it. Text me the details and I’ll let you know if I’m free.”

“Something tells me Jean would be very happy to see you there,” Sasha chuckled, you giggling in response to her suggestive comment. The two of you picked through the selection of skimpy clothing, taking it up the cashier to check out.

You walked out of the store together, giggling over small banter. Your trip to the mall was quick after that, and in the end you held a grip full of medium sized paper bags, walking outside the mall with Sasha.

“Oh, hey!” Sasha suddenly quipped, placing her bags on the sidewalk, pulling her phone out of her crossbody bag. “We should take a picture!”

“Sasha I’m not even wearing lipstick,” you half heartedly complained, getting ready to pose next to your best friend.

“Literally, you’re so fucking hot,” she deadpanned, turning her head to look you directly in the eyes. “Shut up and get in, bitch.”

You threw your head back in laughter, leaning in on the left side of her frame, pushing your hair framing your face behind your ear. You smiled widely while Sasha did the same, hearing a soft click of her phone, indicating the photo was taken. Your phone vibrated in your pocket, bringing it out to see a notification stating she had posted it to her story. You’d repost it to your story later after you grabbed food, you decided, the conversation turning to the topic of where the two of you would eat before heading back to your apartment to get drunk in celebration of your semesters ending.

Eren and his two friends sat crowded in Jean’s dorm room bathroom, passing around a blunt. He could hear Connie coughing harshly as it was passed to Eren, the boy taking a deep drag of the backwoods cigarillo. Exhaling slowly, Eren brought his phone out of his hoodie pocket to open it up to change the song playing, his phone instantly opening to Instagram.

Distracted now by his favorite obsession, he glanced at the stories section, her name front in the line, glowing in that now familiar pink and purple circle. Eren couldn’t have tapped faster, and when he did, his mouth hung open.

“Yo,” Eren spoke loudly, shoving his phone in Jean and Connie’s faces. “Sasha knows this girl?”

“Yeah, they’re like best friends,” Connie quirked an eyebrow. “You don’t know her?”

“No, I just saw we had mutual friends,” Eren’s eyebrows knitted together. “How come we’ve never hung out with her before?”

“I don’t know actually,” Jean said, exhaling the blunt after it was passed to him from Eren’s fingertips. “I had a class with her this semester, she seems nice.”

“You’re only saying that because she’s hot,” Connie chuckled. “I bet you’ve never even talked to the girl.”

Jean’s face ignited in a fierce blush as he found interest in the ceiling tiles, “Shut up. It’s harder to talk to girls than it looks. You should know that, Connie.”

“Hey! I talk to girls!” Connie leaned up from his seated position on the floor.

“Idiots,” Eren sighed, rolling his eyes. “Neither of you have any game.”

“Not all of us are as gifted as you are, Eren,” Connie protested, a smirk spreading across his lips. “You could talk to a fucking mouse and it’d figure out someway to talk back.”

Eren rolled his eyes again, harder this time, “You just talk to girls like they’re human beings, it’s not that fucking hard.”

“Oh yeah? Betcha’ won’t be saying that whenever you see that girl around,” Jean teased, finally passing the blunt to Connie in the rotation, Connie muttering something about hogging it.

Eren shifted uncomfortably on the closed toilet seat, “Whatever, Jean.”

“Speak of the fucking devil!” Jean shouted, scaring the very high pair of boys at the suddenness. “Sasha just texted me asking if she can bring her this weekend to the cabin!”

Eren’s heart erupted into a flutter of uneven beats, his face heating up. This girl he had been drooling over was going to be at a party, with him? He suddenly felt like a teenager, the idea of seeing his precious addiction face to face giving him full blown anxiety.

Soft thuds of the bass of the stereo filled the room, catchy pop music drawing Eren out of his stupor to gaze hastily around the room, searching.

“What’s up with you tonight?” Armin had asked him, drawing his attention away once again. “It’s been an hour since the party started and you’ve barely drunk anything.”

Taking note of the full red solo cup in his hand, flickering his gaze between the liquid and his best friend, Eren shrugged and tipped the rim back in his lips, opening his throat and taking large gulps until the cup was empty. “Happy?”

Armin laughed loudly, although only having two strong drinks, his best friend was beginning to feel the numbness of intoxication, “You’re really out of it tonight, everything alright?”

“Yeah I’m fine, just waiting for the smoke sesh so I’m not cross faded,” Eren smirked, lying easily. “Last time I got too drunk and decided to rip Jean’s bong, I woke up in some random front yard with one shoe on.”

Armin shook his head in disbelief, “You really need to start making better life choices, Eren.”

Eren shook the empty solo cup in front of his friend, “I’m trying here.”

Truthfully, the reason Eren wasn’t halfway to getting shit faced was because he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the girl of his dreams. She still hadn’t shown up yet, and Eren was getting anxious that she wasn’t going to show. Sasha and Mikasa hadn’t shown up yet either, which gave him a resemblance of hope that the three of you were together, and on your way currently to the party. His heart thudded heavily in his ribcage as he heard the jingle of the front door turn, and his attention was fully concentrated on the door frame ahead of him. His jaw dropped at the sight, his breath caught in his throat.

You asked Sasha earlier that day what you should wear to the party, and Sasha had just waved and told you whatever you felt looked the best. Not exactly helpful, you had just decided on black ripped jeans and a low cut shirt, paired with your favorite leather jacket and trusty Vans. You felt incredibly undressed as Sasha drove to Mikasa’s house, watching her modelesque frame saunter out her front door towards the back car doors.

“Mikasa, you could make a paper bag look hot,” you showered her with appreciation, her face blushing in response as she tugged her long sleeved body con dress towards her knees. “Fuck, should I have worn a dress? How nice is everyone else dressed?”

Sasha couldn’t have given two fucks about how she dressed in front of her friends, adorned in blue skinny jeans and a causal crop top, although her face was beat to the Gods, “Shut the fuck up, you’re one to talk about making paper bags look good. Besides, knowing the boys they probably made minimal effort, probably all wearing sweatpants.”

The three of you snickered at this, and Sasha pushed the car into drive and set out on your 45 minute journey into the mountains. Nerves hadn’t set in until you were face to face with the cabin door, nervous that the girls’ friends weren’t going to like you. Putting a brave face on, Mikasa grasped the door knob and pushed it open, the three of you gliding in.

Eren honestly had wanted to drop down to his knees and kiss the ground you walked on. You were the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Your eyes were searching, for what neither of you knew, until your eyes had finally landed on him. You smiled politely, moving your hand up in a quick wave to both him and Armin.

Eren couldn’t fathom moving any single part of his body, so awestruck by you. Jean shook Eren out of his dumbstricken state with a hard pat to his shoulder, “Why don’t you go introduce yourself, Eren?”

“Fuck off, horse face,” Eren spat, trying to will himself to either make strides towards you or to break his gaze, neither working. “Why don’t you?”

“I’d love to,” he smiled wickedly, inspired by liquid courage to lock arms with Eren and force him closer to the trio of girls that had finally made their appearance. Armin followed behind, Connie emerging out of the bathroom to give his hello’s to his best friend Sasha and company.

Eren could hear his heart beat in his ears as he stopped right in front of you, forcing his mouth closed in a tight lipped grimace. He felt like a fucking teenager with a crush.

“Hi,” you introduced yourself, smiling widely. “It’s so nice to finally meet you guys!”

“Nice to meet you too!” Armin spoke up, oblivious to his friends’ reaction to the fresh pretty face of yours.

Jean and Connie wouldn’t admit it, but they were feeling their own nervousness. Jean’s out of guilt as he scanned your body top to bottom, Connie’s natural shyness kicking in due to the newcomer. Both were able to overcome it though, and offer up their own introductions. Your eyes landed on Eren once again, tilting your head, waiting for his intro.

“I’m Eren,” he swallowed. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” you looked down, smiling softly. You raised your hand then, looking up at the boys in front of you, revealing a handle of vodka. “I brought a gift with me too!”

“My kinda girl!” Jean spoke just a bit too enthusiastically. “Shots, shots, shots!”

Connie pumped his fist, chiming in, the rest of the party joining as well as the crowd made their way into the kitchen. Eren purposely hung back, trying to keep as close to you as possible.

“You happen to bring any chasers with you?” he had leaned in, tickling the side of your head with his breath.

“No, I totally forgot,” you sheepishly admitted.

“Looks like we’re all gonna get plastered then,” he chuckled smoothly, sending goosebumps down your body.

“Is it really a party then if at least one person doesn’t have their head in a toilet?” you had easily quipped back, feeling more comfortable now that the introductions were out of the way.

Eren hummed in half hearted agreement, feeling slightly more relaxed himself. Besides, his attention was being grasped by the plastic shot glass being shoved in his hand, as well as your dainty one. The group held up the shot glasses, a few phone cameras capturing the moment to post on their stories, and you all swung your heads back to allow the bitter liquid to trickle down your throats. Eren made a mild face, taking a stolen glance at your own to see your grimace, sticking your tongue out in disbelief at the taste.

Another hour had passed by, and Eren was running out of reasons to follow you around the cabin as you shifted between conversations to get to know the group of friends better. You hadn’t really noticed him trailing behind you, nor did you really care because you were very quickly warming up to Eren. It also didn’t hurt that he looked exceptionally better in person. His hair was lazily swung into a half top bun, wearing a couple of gold chains with his white tee tightly hugging his torso, tucked seamlessly into black ripped jeans displaying his muscular knee caps. Eren was definitely a looker, you shifted your gaze up to his face as he made some witty comment to Sasha, his eyes flickering to your face to catch your reaction.

“Oh my god, there was this one time,” Sasha spoke your name. “She had gotten so high during last year’s spring break, and the two of us and Mikasa came up with the brilliant idea of becoming one with nature. So, naturally, we ran to Walmart and bought this tent on clearance. Turns out it was made for kids, so none of us actually fit inside when we got back to Mikasa’s house. Mikasa and I curled up in a ball, surrounded by snacks, and this smart girl over here decided it was the best choice to just lay out on the lawn and pass out.”

“I wanted to watch the sun rise!” you laughed, trying to quickly explain yourself to Eren’s amused smirk. “And the grass was just so nice that night!”

“The grass was basically straw,” Sasha countered teasingly. “Twenty degrees outside, absolutely freezing. She was MIA for like a week afterwards with a cold.”

You shrugged carelessly, “Worth it.”

Now the two of you had sleeping on lawns in common? Eren scoffed inwardly. Yup, it was official, you were his soulmate. Still though, the topic of why you were so casual in person while your naked pictures existed online tickled his thoughts. He was hoping that somehow it’d get brought up naturally in conversation, saving himself the embarrassment if you were to get offended by his questioning. So far it seemed you liked him, not having said a word about him trailing after you like a lost puppy. Jean had been sending him knowing looks all night, Connie shooting two thumbs up at Eren while Armin looked on in confusion.

Mikasa had strolled out of the bathroom finally, joining the trio who stood casually in the living room, simply stating, “I’m starving. You guys think they deliver pizza out here?”

Sasha’s eyes widened in excitement, “I don’t care if it takes an hour to get here. We’re ordering right now.”

Already ahead of the two, your phone was pulled out in your hands to open up the Dominoes app, punching in the location of the party and placing the order online. Eren watched this all, peering over your hands to see the total.

“Guys, we should chip in,” Eren called out, grabbing the boys’ attention. “We’re ordering pizza.”

“No, no!” you protested, confirming the order. “It’s really fine, my treat.”

“But that’s really expensive,” he frowned, the group all joined together in the living room.

“Don’t worry, she’s got that OnlyFans money,” Sasha waved off Eren’s concern.

“OnlyFans?” Armin questioned, darting his eyes in between Sasha and you. “What’s that?”

Jean hid his blushing cheeks and your eyes flickered to him, then back to Armin, “I sell naked pictures online.”

“So what, a bunch of old guys give you money?” Armin had asked innocently, not judgemental in the slightest.

You giggled, relieved he wasn’t asking in a demeaning manner, “Actually, you’d be really surprised about who you know follows me. There’s a lot of people from school.”

Eren’s blood ran cold as he felt a sudden onset of embarrassment. Did that mean you had known this entire time Eren was one of these followers? If you did, you didn’t let on to it, smiling shyly as the questions ended. Eren hadn’t been done with the conversation, but pride from exposing himself in front of his friends kept his mouth shut.

It was around one in the morning when the party was at its peak. Sasha was being held up by her legs by Connie as she did a keg stand, you and the group cheering the girl on in your own drunken hazes. She tapped the large can, indicating she was finished, Connie settling her down on solid ground as she belched loudly.

“That was fucking awesome, Sasha!” you giggled, throwing your arms up and around her. You were definitely feeling the shots you had been feeding yourself all night, holding your red solo cup high above the girl so it wouldn’t slosh on her.

“You should totally try it!” she encouraged devilishly.

You pouted then, taking a moment to consider, “I’ve never done a keg stand before, what if I can’t do it?”

“I’ll help you!” Eren all but pounced on the opportunity, your smile turning into a tipsy giggle. “It’s not that hard, you just keep chugging until you can’t anymore. I’ll hold you, you got this.”

You lightly blushed, nodding your head at the encouragement, bringing a fist to your chest as a salute, “I’ll do it! We gotta’ put on a cool song though, if I’m going to fail miserably I might as well have a good song to do it to.”

Mikasa volunteered, as she was already DJ, having the best music taste out of everyone in the group. She dug her phone out of her pocket, switching over to a ‘Pursuit of Happiness’ remix. Connie whooped at the choice, and everyone began to chant your name as you hovered by the keg, very nervous. Eren then placed his large hand on the small of your back, leaning in to reassure you once again. You gulped, nodding that you were ready to get into position.

“Okay, so you’re going to lean your arms on the top of the can, and I’ll grab your legs. Like when you were a kid and you’d do that stupid wheelbarrel thing,” Eren easily explained, chuckling lightly. “Use your hands to let me know when you’re done.”

You did as you were told, resting your upper body against the keg as Eren hooked his arms around your calves. He couldn’t help but admire how strong your legs felt in his grasp, and how right it felt to finally have some bodily contact. He had been trying to figure out a natural way all night, and he was bubbling over in excitement, the chance had arisen, glorious in the promise of touch.

You placed your lips hesitantly around the tap, opening it up into your mouth, and began to chug. ‘Chug, chug, chug!’ was chanted all around you, even Mikasa joining in on the fun. Fists bumped in the air, and you felt like the coolest fucking person in the world. Doing a keg stand wasn’t exactly in your goals list, but fuck did it feel like it should’ve been as your ego inflated.

“That’s it, you’re doing great!” Eren’s thumbs brushed the inside of your knees, leaning in to whisper. “Good girl.”

You sputtered around the tap, choking harshly. You removed your mouth quickly to gasp for air, and the tap shot up all over your shirt, jacket long forgotten resting on the sofa in the living room. Eren moved your legs down to the floor quickly seeing this, and wrapped his arm around your waist to steady you as your arm shot out to grab onto something, in this case his other arm.

“You alright?” Jean asked, a look of concern washing over his features as you finally got some air into your lungs.

“Yeah,” you coughed again, blushing in embarrassment. “I definitely made a mess though.”

“I brought some extra clothes with me,” Eren offered quickly. “One of these idiots always manages to somehow spill something within the first hour of drinking. I’ll show you where my bag is at.”

You smiled in appreciation, biting your tongue to accuse him of purposely throwing you off your game with his little praise that had your knees buckling. He unwound his arm, taking your hand and leading you to the staircase by the entryway, your smaller form following behind him as he thudded up the stairs. Three doors greeted you at the top, and he led you into the master bedroom, plainly decorated and lacking personal belongings. You watched as he chucked a duffle bag onto the mattress, unzipping it and going through his clothes. He found a sweatshirt, smirking inwardly as it had been one of his old sports ones with his last name embroidered on the back. Proud he could provide a claim to you, he extended it to you, and you gladly accepted it.

“Well, you did really well in the beginning there,” he chuckled, whisking his stray baby hairs behind his ear. “Sucks about the shirt though. The first time I tried to do a keg stand, I barfed everywhere.”

You laughed lightly, fingering the hem of your shirt, “I guess it could’ve been a lot worse. Still, at least I can check this off my bucket list.”

Eren’s eyebrows shot into his hairline as you lifted your shirt to reveal your bare stomach, and he whisked his body completely around so you didn’t see his reddened cheeks, “You could’ve asked me to leave.”

Behind him, you let a mischievous smirk cross your lips, “Nothing you haven’t seen before.”

Eren’s mouth fell open at your bold statement, letting his words leave before he could stop them, “You know?”

“Of course,” you discarded the sodden shirt to the floor, sitting on the bed instead of tossing the sweatshirt on. “You’re my favorite viewer.”

He caught your movement in the corner of his eye, and he turned his head to take in the sight. Fuck, you were even more beautiful in person. Your bra was white and pretty and dainty, pushing your tits together, accentuating cleavage that Eren wanted to bury his face in. His gaze moved up to your face, smiling so innocently at him as he let out a dark chuckle, “Is that so?”

You hummed, leaning back to expose your form a bit more, feeling confident from the alcohol, “You like every one of my pictures, you buy all my content, you’re pretty cute, of course you’re my favorite.”

Eren’s ego soared as he turned his body completely towards you, taking a small step forward, “You’re just so beautiful, how could I not? I do have to ask this though, how come you never answered any of my messages?”

“Oh, my DMs are broken. Instagram doesn’t let me view them or respond,” you explained easily. “You know, you could’ve hit me up on OnlyFans, I definitely would have answered you.”

A blush crept up on Eren again as he averted his gaze to the floor, “I didn’t think about that.”

You giggled softly, “What’d you send me anyways?”

“I asked you out on a date,” he admitted, growing more nervous. “Told you that you were really pretty. Y’know, stuff you probably get all the time.”

“Most of my messages are from guys trying to take me out drinking and to get a quick fuck,” you scoffed. “Y’know, if the offer is still on the table, I’d really like to take you up on it.”

“Really?” Eren’s eyes met yours in surprise, you watched his Adam’s apple bob along his throat as he gulped. “You’d want to go out with me?”

“Yeah, who else is going to hold me up when I try to do a keg stand again?” you smiled sheepishly, batting your eyelashes. Eren’s hands twitched at his sides, fuck, you were so pretty.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked seriously, his gaze hardening as he felt a wave of possessiveness. In his mind, you were already his girlfriend. You had accepted his date, and he’d be damned if he didn’t try to push his luck further.

Eren had never felt the way he feels right now. He took immediate notice of your blushing cheeks, your confident lean turn into a shy arch as you pushed your body into a hunched over seating position. Eren had experience with girls, that everyone knew as a fact, he was very far from being a virgin. You made him feel like a fucking virgin, heart beating wildly in his chest. All he wanted to do was to grab you and hide you away for his own greedy pleasure, the darkest parts of his mind tickled by the thought. He had laid a claim to you way before he had ever met you, and he wouldn’t let you escape now that he had you here, alone.

You didn’t answer his request, you pushed yourself off the mattress and met his staggering stance halfway. Unknown to his wicked thoughts, his past month of obsessing of you, you leaned up, gently brushing your lips against his. No one had ever asked you this simple question before, instead just taking the action as if they had owned you, and you thought to yourself that you could really love this boy who presented himself so innocently to you.

The soft placement of your lips to his was not enough, and Eren buried his mouth with your own, moving both of his hands to cup your face. He could feel your jaw beneath the pads of his fingertips as you attempted to meet his pace, sensual and passionate. The need for air forgotten for the both of you, sucking in deeply through your noses as the space continued to close between your bodies.

“Gonna take you someplace real nice,” muttered Eren as he pulled away slightly to gaze his half lidded eyes on your fluttering eyelashes, your gaze now hidden from him. “I know you like that one place in the city, I saw your little post of you wearing that tight dress. You looked so fucking pretty.”

Tingles shivered up your bones, a sharp intake of breath as you fluttered your eyes open to take in his deep lustful expression, “I’ll wear it for you, if you want.”

“Wear my necklace too.”

You pulled away completely this time, baffled, “Your necklace?”

“The one with the ‘E’ on it,” he breathed, moving forward to accommodate the sudden distance, his lips meeting the corner of your mouth. You realized then what he was referring to, a small smirk uplifting his kiss. You wouldn’t tell him though that the necklace in question was just some random trinket with no meaning you had purchased, or that you hadn’t even recognized the pretty cursive as a letter. You figured out very quickly Eren’s little crush was a bit more involved than just him attached to your hip at this party. No, it was way deeper than that. All of the likes, the money, the new information of messages made sense to you. Eren had believed you were his, and he had sought out confirmation all night to prove it.

“Okay,” you played along to his fantasy, an expert since it was your job online already to provide this to your viewers. “What else do you want me to wear?”

“There’s this one set of lingerie,” Eren was the one to pull back now, letting his teal eyes trail downwards to your chest, displeased by the lack of skin shown to him in that instance. “The black lacy one, fuck, wear that. You look so fucking sexy in that.”

“You don’t like when I wear white?” you pouted, bringing your hands to rest against the peak of your breasts, framing them like a picture.

“I like anything you wear,” a smirk crossed his features, eyes locked in on your tits. “Or what you don’t wear.”

You were met with two choices then. One, kiss Eren and get dressed and save yourself for your date, or two, fulfill his now present fantasy of his that was beginning to morph into your own. You mentally battled the decision in your mind, feeling the desire curl in your stomach at each option. If you were to give in now, Eren might not want to continue to chase after you, the promise of an actual date forgotten. Not to mention the party of people down stairs, the thud of music softened behind the closed door of the bedroom indicating it was still in full swing. Eren saw your hesitation, and let his hands travel to your elbows comfortingly.

“I know we technically just met,” he started, eyes now locked in on yours in genuine honesty. “But I really like you. You’re all I’ve thought about for the past month, so if you don’t feel comfortable going any further, that’s okay, I’ll wait. I’ve waited this long.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” you bit your lip as you watched his teal orbs flicker to your mouth. “It’s just — oh God, this is embarrassing to talk about so soon.”

“Shh, it’s okay, I won’t judge,” he cooed, bringing just a hand up to soothe over your cheek.

“I’m not exactly quiet,” you admitted, gesturing towards the floor. “I don’t really want to be the girl who fucks someone at the first party they show up to.”

Eren hadn’t predicted you to be loud in his fantasies, but he was really wishing he had. He held back a groan at your confession, images of what could be filling his dirty mind, “Fuck, okay, no problem. I don’t have any condoms with me anyways.”

“Actually,” you drawled. “I’m on the pill, so as far as that goes, that doesn’t really matter. I’m clean too, I haven’t been with anyone in a long time.”

Boxes were being ticked quickly off of Eren’s checklist, and he let his jaw hang open, “I’m clean too, I don’t fuck anyone without a condom, to be honest.”

I’m going to fuck her raw, is all that was going through his mind. Treat her so good, take her out wearing her pretty little dress and treat her like a fucking princess.

“Please tell me you’re free tomorrow,” Eren pleaded. “I’ll take us fucking anywhere you want.”

“I am, actually,” you batted your eyelashes.

“Cool,” he muttered, beginning to feel drawn into your lips again. As you began to lean back in, a sharp knock sounded at the door.

“Hey! Everything alright?” you both froze, recognizing the voice as Armin’s. Of course he’d be the only one to dare interrupt, and the party below had discouraged him. Eren had taken you upstairs, and while they were all aware of the possibility of the two of you would be hooking up, Armin was more concerned that one or both of you had gotten sick and were in need of help.

“Yeah, we’re fine! Be out in a second!” Eren shouted, feeling suddenly frazzled from the intense interaction between you two. If Armin had opened the door, seeing the two of you locked in together so closely, making out feverishly, it would be completely mortifying. Especially since it wouldn’t be the first time Armin had accidentally seen his best friend in a suggestive situation.

You pecked his lips quickly then, breaking out of his embrace to throw his sweatshirt over your head. Eren was counting backwards in his head to rid himself of the half erection in his pants, nearly impossible as he thought about how pretty you looked in his clothing.

“C’mon,” you tugged at his hand, urging him to follow you back downstairs. “We have a pizza to eat and friends to convince that we definitely didn’t just fuck for ten minutes.”

The group hadn’t made a single comment when you two rejoined the party, only just knowing smirks from Jean and Connie to Eren. Sasha had wiggled her eyebrows at you, and you quickly pulled her and Mikasa into the bathroom to recap what had just occurred upstairs. The girls clapped drunkenly at your news of a date, incredibly excited that their best friend was finally going out with a boy. The night had ended around three in the morning, bodies scattered throughout the house to pass out wherever they pleased. Eren had continued to stay by you the rest of the night, this time, not shy at all as he stole touches to your back. And when it came time to pass out, you felt smugness as he rested his head on your back while you laid on your side on the same bed upstairs, his arm thrown tightly around your waist. Sasha curled up in front of you, your own head snuggling into her shoulder as the room spun you into a deep slumber.

You sat at a vanity in your apartment bedroom the next evening, applying various makeups to your face. Mikasa had awoken you and Sasha pretty early the next morning, wanting to go home so she could get ready for her job. Eren snored quietly behind you as you tried your best to maneuver out of his grasp, and the three of you cleaned up the cups and plates scattered around the house as a thank you to Jean for the invitation. Sasha had driven you all the way back to your place when you realized you were still wearing Eren’s hoodie, and you smirked. Now he definitely had a reason to get you on this date tonight, you had something that belonged to him.

When Eren had woken up, he truly believed for a few minutes that you had just been a dream. Pictures and videos posted all over Instagram had shown him differently though, the two of you leaning against each other on the leather couch smiling drunkenly on Armin’s story had his heart pounding. His arm was around your shoulders, your head was tilted in the crook of his neck, and then Eren remembered that he was going to see you again tonight. He took a screenshot before the story moved on to a video of the group in a heated discussion about music tastes, a quiet chuckle made its way out of his throat as he recounted memories that would become very fond to him.

He had posted the picture then to his Instagram, a few others followed after that included him and his other friends. Eren tagged all of the people, but most importantly, the picture of the two of you was the first in the line up of the photo set. A few messages hit his inbox after he hit the post button, some classmates asking if you were his girlfriend, because you were wearing his sweatshirt in the photo. He decided to not respond, because as much as he wanted to tell them yes, he knew he’d be jumping the gun. His heart raced as a notification popped up — you had liked the picture, and added a comment, ‘last night was a movie’ with a kiss emoji. When he refreshed the page, your lit up story showed him that you had even reposted his photo set. His ego soared, his affections no longer one sided, and he couldn’t fucking wait to take you out later and show you the best time he could.

Eren had gotten your phone number from Sasha not long before your date, asking for your address and trying to pick out a time to head out to dinner. You tapped a response quickly, and looked at the clock to gauge how much time you’d need to be fully ready. That had been about three hours ago, your body had been scrubbed and shaved, hair curled prettily down your back as you added the final touches of lipstick to your lips. The dress Eren had talked about was laid out on your perfectly made bed, a pretty satin champagne colored fabric, and your apartment was fairly clean, fully expecting his company after the date of all went well. You dressed yourself easily, slipping on black heels when you heard the chime of your phone, letting you know Eren was awaiting you outside.

When the elevator doors chimed open as you walked into your lobby, you saw from the entrance doors Eren leaned back casually against the Uber he had offered to pay for. His attention immediately focused on your form as you exited your building, his gaze flickered all over your body.

“You look incredible,” Eren easily complimented, pushing himself up to stand straight. He leaned in to kiss your blushing cheek as you muttered a quiet ‘thank you’, and he pulled the door handle of the sleek black car, ushering you inside. He slammed it closed after you had positioned yourself comfortably, giving the driver a soft greeting as Eren circled around the back, getting in on the opposite side. The directions were already plugged into the driver’s GPS, and it took less than twenty minutes to get to the restaurant in question.

This gave you enough time to take in Eren’s appearance, and damn if you wouldn’t have allowed yourself to do so, the sight practically mouth watering. His hair hung low in a messy bun, a few complementary strands hanging out to frame his sharp jawline. His torso was adorned in a sheer white long sleeve button up, a small portion of his chest revealed as he had left the top buttons alone, chains hanging against his collarbones, silver in color this time. Black slacks that tightened around his thighs and calves had you biting your lip in appreciation, his legs spread as he took up space in the backseat.

“Staring isn’t very polite,” he had leaned in, taking notice of your devouring gaze.

“Stop dressing like a whore and maybe I won’t stare,” you teased back, chuckling quietly when he swatted your exposed thigh lightly. He kept his hand there for the rest of the drive, enjoying the comfortable silence as the quiet hum of the radio filled in the gaps.

When the Uber had slowed to a stop outside of the fancy restaurant Eren had insisted taking you to, he swung the door open before you had a chance to reach for the handle on your side. He raced to the other side of the car, pulling open the door and extending his hand out for you to grasp onto. You circled your fingers around his palm, and he tightened his grasp as you swung your legs over the flooring, and stood before him. The two of you thanked the driver, and he sped away shortly after. Hand still locked in with yours, Eren led the way inside the opened doors of the restaurant. Inside, a hostess wearing a very classy black uniform greeted the two of you.

“Reservation for Eren,” he spoke smoothly, and your eyes widened in surprise, expecting to have sat and waited for at least a half an hour before you had been seated.

“Right this way,” she smiled politely, two menus in her hands as she welcomed you into the dining area. You followed behind Eren, realizing that this place must’ve been a lot more expensive than you originally had gauged. All the guests appeared in their very best formal attire, and the chatter was soft as the beautiful notes of a piano resounded throughout the space. While you couldn’t pinpoint exactly where the music was coming from, you had a strong feeling that there was a physical player somewhere in the midst, it sounded so clear and professional. When the hostess had sat you down in a booth secluded against the furthest set wall, she smiled politely once more and informed you that the waiter would be with you soon.

“Eren,” you hissed as you sat opposite of his smirking form. “This place is stupid fancy!”

“Don’t worry about it,” he waved easily. “I got it, I promise.”

“How are you able to afford this? I’ve got a little bit of money and even I couldn’t go some place this nice,” you questioned, feeling a small pang of guilt. He was going to go broke trying to treat you to a very nice, albeit expensive, meal.

“My dad is a doctor,” he shrugged, picking up the menu and eyeing over their drink selection. “He sends me money whenever I come around and help around his office.”

“Following in the family footsteps?” you tried at the conversation, realizing you virtually knew nothing about the boy in front of you.

“Nah, I’m more into the business side of things,” he smiled up at you then, showing off his pearly white teeth. “What about you? What are you majoring in?”

You spoke of your major, Eren carefully listening in of your passions and your goals for your future ahead. He was pleased to hear that you were ambitious, smiling as he was enamored by your speech. Not that he minded a single bit about your online job, but to hear that you had a legitimate career goal soothed his worries.

A finely dressed waiter greeted you shortly, introducing himself and taking the both of your orders in one go, and stole away the menus. The rest of the date flew by quickly, tipsy from your cocktails and full of giggles as the two of you got to know one another. Although Eren was already knowledgeable about a number of your likes and dislikes and personality quirks due to Instagram, you had the undisguisable pleasure of learning his right then and there.

“So,” you leaned your elbows onto the table, resting your chin atop of your closed fists. “Tell me, how many girls have you taken here before?”

“Not a single one,” he chuckled lowly, passing the black booklet encasing his credit card as the waiter stopped at the table. “This is actually my first time taking anyone out somewhere so fancy. Usually I just hang out at the more lowkey spots around campus.”

“I would’ve been totally okay with going somewhere like that instead,” you frowned, that same guilt flooding back to your stomach. Eren hadn’t even let you see the bill before he had given it away, so you were completely ignorant as far as how far the total rang up. “You really didn’t have to take me out to such an expensive place.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, smirking as he did so, “Had to take my favorite girl somewhere nice, show you off in that gorgeous dress of yours.”

You blushed, moving your fists to hold your cheeks to try and contain the heat, “Fine, but next time, I want to see one of these ‘lowkey spots’.”

“Next time, huh?” Eren mused cockily.

“Yes, I guess I had a really great time tonight, consider yourself honored,” you giggled half heartedly.

“Oh believe me, I do.”

Eren had walked you to the front door of your apartment like the gentleman he was. Really, he was just trying to procrastinate leaving you, not wanting the night to be over with quite yet. Luckily, you were on the exact same page as he stood awkwardly behind you while you unlocked your front door.

You turned, an eyebrow raised, “Well? Are you coming in or what?”

“Say less,” he sighed in relief, following your sauntering frame inside your apartment. He was initially impressed as you flicked the light switch on the wall up, illuminating your precious space. Very clean and organized, he felt a pang of jealousy, knowing his own dorm room was scattered with clothes and empty water bottles. If he had only seen what your living space looked like before you had straightened up, he might have felt better about himself.

“I have some róse in the fridge,” you offered, making your way to the kitchen. “Would you like a glass?”

“No lie, that’s literally my favorite wine,” Eren groaned. “How are you this perfect?”

You laughed loudly, grabbing two wine glasses from your cabinet, opening your fridge and retrieving the bottle. Filling the glasses generously, you left the bottle on your kitchen counter and turned around, Eren a lot closer than where you had left him a moment ago. You extended his cup, which he graciously took and sipped. You mirrored him, gulping down your own mouthful.

“Y’know,” he started, gazing around your kitchen space. “For all that talk of mimosas in your Instagram bio, I really expected there to be a lot more pictures of you drinking them.”

You chuckled once again, “Believe me, I have plenty of orange juice, vodka, and champagne here. We had such a classy dinner, I thought I’d try and match it with some wine. Besides, vodka brings out the worst in me.”

“Ah, lady in the streets, freak in the sheets,” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. You rolled your eyes, swatting his bicep harmlessly. “I get what you’re about at brunch with the girls.”

“If I had a nickel for every time Mikasa had to peel me and Sasha off the pavement after mimosas and scones, I’d be fucking rich,” you giggled once again, raising the glass to your lips.

“I’m really surprised we hadn’t met each other before last night, especially because Mikasa and I have been best friends since we were little,” Eren raised an eyebrow. “She’s basically my sister, and never once did she say anything about you, I only met Sasha because Connie’s attached to her hip and they share the same brain cell.”

“If it makes you feel better, I only knew Jean existed because we had a class together this semester,” you shrugged, purposefully leaving out the part where he consumed your content almost as much as Eren did.

“And of course me,” Eren smirked cheekily. “Because I’m your favorite viewer, like you said.”

“Don’t make me regret telling you that,” you pointed your glass towards him in a fake threat.

“It’s okay, you’re my favorite girl, so it evens itself out,” Eren placed his half drunk glass on the counter top, his gaze much more seductive. “Besides, you wore my necklace like I asked, I gotta tease you a little bit.”

“I wore pretty much everything you wanted me to,” you smirked, copying his actions and settling your own cup down.

“Did you now?” he took long strides to stand in front of you, toying with the necklace that he had laid claim over.

“I can show you, if you want to see,” you leaned up with full intentions of capturing his kiss.

“There’s nothing else I would rather do, pretty girl,” Eren cooed, licking his lips before meeting you in the middle. His arms circled around your waist, your hands wrapped around his shoulders as the pace started out slowly. Gentle was not what either of you wanted though, the desperation seeping in fast as his fingers explored your sides.

“Bedroom,” you gasped as he removed his lips and attached them to your jaw. He had no qualms of fucking you right out here in the kitchen, so he made no effort to move. Realizing you had to take the reins, you moved backwards from Eren, smirking as he groaned from the sudden distance. His eyes followed you predatorily as he began to chase after you, your back meeting the wooden paneling of your bedroom door. He attempted to recapture your mouth, but your hand was faster in turning the door knob, and you began to lead him back until your mattress met the backs of your knees.

“Want you to show me what you’re wearing under that dress,” Eren demanded, playing with the short hem that rested on your thighs.

You nodded, giving him the silent okay to take off the fabric encompassing your frame. You turned so your back faced him, moving your hair out of the way so he could unzip the back. His eyes followed as he fingered the silver zipper, agonizingly teasing himself as more and more was revealed to him. Seeing the straps of the black lace he had requested drunkenly the night before, his patience snapped as he pulled the metal piece down faster. You slid the tiny straps off your shoulders at the sweet feeling of release, and Eren’s dick was rock fucking solid as it pooled around your feet, you kicked the silky fabric to the side and faced him once more.

“You’re wearing everything I told you to,” he stated, drinking in the sight of your scantily clad body. “Good girl.”

You bit back an embarrassing moan at his praise, feeling the heat pool between your thighs. It came as such a shock to you to be so reactive to his words, and it came slamming into you that maybe you weren’t as vanilla as you had previously believed. You had a kink! It all made so much sense, why you felt such pride and arousal from complete strangers giving you their attention and compliments online. You yearned for it, craved the affections, and now that Eren stood in front of you, more than willing to shower you with pretty words, all the moisture in your mouth dried up. You wanted him so fucking bad.

Eren’s hands met the naked skin of your waist as his palms etched over your soft stomach. They met in the middle of your back, leaning your back onto the mattress as he climbed on top of you, a single hand coming up to work on discarding his button up. You rushed to help, pads of your fingers working the buttons open until he revealed his bare chest, his chains hanging above you. He worked his arms out quickly, tossing the fabric onto the floor. He brought his lips to yours, this kiss much more desperate and needy than the previous ones. His hands explored every inch of your body, the tops of your thighs to the swell of your breasts. He tugged on the soft lace at the top, slowly bringing the black fabric down to expose the complete fullness of your breasts. A sight familiar yet somehow new made Eren groan, the pads of his thumbs brushing against your pretty nipples, instantly hardening them.

You moaned lightly, throwing your head back and arching your back into his touch. How many times had Eren pictured you just like this?

“I fucked my fist so many fucking times thinking about you,” he confessed as he pressed slow open mouthed kisses to your collarbone. “You have no idea what your pictures did to me, no idea what you’re doing to me right now.”

He leaned his bottom half forward, pressing his thick clothed erection into the meat of your thigh. You let out a whimper, head foggy as his words made your pussy clench around nothing.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he licked a stripe up your neck, leaving a wet saliva trail as he wrapped his lips around where he could feel your pulse the strongest. “My pretty girl.”

While Eren wanted to talk about what you did to him, all you could think about was what he was doing to you. The want and need that coursed through your veins was like a drug, you could feel him worming his way into your bloodstream, straight to the center of your heart and out to the warmest parts of your body. And you felt like an addict in that moment too, and every moment you would spend with Eren there after. You could feel his kisses as if he was underneath your skin, his entire body pressed against yours. So, so close, yet not close enough.

“Take off your pants,” you demanded shakily, placing your hands at the button of his slacks. He seemed to be on the same page of you yet again, and he followed his instructions without delay. He kicked out of the tight pants with ease, and you were more than pleased to see he had rid himself of his boxers too when you heard the thick slap of his cock meeting his stomach.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, eyes widened. “Eren, that’s not going to fit.”

“Don’t worry,” he soothed your hair back from your face, pressing a sweet kiss to the tip of your nose. “I’ll make sure you’re nice and wet for me.”

He started to move south, licking and giving attention to your right nipple as he did so. While the idea of him giving you thorough attention was erotic, you really wanted to please him for your first time together, unknown to you as Eren had thought the exact same thing, wanting to make you feel so good you’d come crawling back to him for more.

You pushed yourself up into a seating position, Eren’s eyes flickering in confusion as you stood up. This look didn’t last for long as you switched positions, pushing his torso onto the bed as you rested atop of him, feet placed firmly on the ground. His mouth hung open in disbelief as you began to return his assault on his neck, sucking and kissing and even biting along the columns. He let out a shaky groan, unable to hold it back as your hands traveled down his chest to his abdomen, feeling over the muscles there.

“What’re you doing, princess?” Eren questioned teasingly, not trying to get his hopes up on what your plan seemed to be.

“Wanna’ make you feel good,” your eyes flickered up to meet the dark green of his eyes, watching as his pupils expanded as the realization hit him like a brick.

“Fuck, okay,” Eren subconsciously widened his thighs then, bringing himself up to lean on his elbows as your kisses followed shortly behind the trail of your fingers.

Your mouth met the defined muscle of his stomach, and your eyes drifted up to catch Eren’s reaction as you neared closer to his aching cock. His eyes were hardened on you, brows knitted together, he almost looked angry. You kitten licked above his navel, and knew the anger was superficial as he threw his head back, letting out a quiet groan. You leaned your body in closer, pushing your exposed chest against his length. He whipped his head forward again at the contact, his lips opened as he inhaled shaky breaths.

Part of you had kind of wanted to hear Eren beg for your mouth, but the thought had quickly left your head as he entangled his fingers into the back of your scalp, massaging gently as he did so. Without a moment of hesitation, you lowered your face so you were eye to eye with his thick shaft. Honestly, you really hadn’t expected Eren to be this big. You had caught a glimpse of his half erect member tenting in his pants the night before, but as it stood to full attention, you were very much intimidated by the sheer size. You gulped, putting on a brace face as you continued on.

The sound of Eren’s groans growing louder as you licked a bold stripe from the bottom of his base to the tip of his head had stirred your cunt deeply. You were on your knees now, feet tucked up under you when you felt the wet patch of your panties touch the back of your heels. You licked a few more times, your right hand trailing down from his stomach to grip him more upright. You pulled all the saliva in your mouth onto your tongue, and wrapped your lips around his tip while your hand secured a purposeful grip at his base. You started slow, only sucking in your cheeks and moving your tongue along the underside of his head, pumping him at the same pace. You could feel beads of spit meet your knuckles, circling your tongue around the entirety of his fat mushroom tip. You smoothly licked along his slit, collecting his gushing precum and tasting the salty liquid.

Meanwhile as you had just started your worship of his cock, Eren was watching you in disbelief as your eyelashes fluttered along your cheeks, mouth prepping yourself to take in his full length. He had pulled himself into a sitting position now to provide you the best angle he could. He was in complete awe, furrowing eyebrows and his mouth hanging open, he knew in that moment there was absolutely no point of return. He would follow you from here on out, whether it be online or in reality, wherever you would go. Soulmates, he reminded himself while he collected your hair into his fist and away from your mouth. You were his fucking soulmate.

You pressed your knees upward, eyes opening. Eren’s pupils were blown out, his breathing irregular, and you wanted to watch him completely unfold as you angled your head to drop lower onto his shaft, hand working just a little faster.

“Fuck —“ he stuttered, eyes blazing into yours. “That’s it, take all of me, you’re such a good girl.”

You moaned lightly at his praise once again, and Eren’s cock hit the back of your throat. You pulled your lips up slowly, tongue caressing the underside of his member the entire time, and quickly brought your unoccupied hand into a fist. This was the first time you would be trying out this trick, reading it in a magazine since your gag reflex was very strong and this helped soothe the impulse. Eren was not prepared in the slightest as you removed the hand gripping him, letting his dick fall forward a bit more. You took a deep breathe through your nose, spit coating his entire cock now, and pushed your mouth fast back down his shaft.

Eren let out a strangled gasp when your nose brushed against his pelvis, “Holy fucking — fuck. Shit, yeah, just like that. You look so fucking pretty right now.”

Tears were threatening the spill over your lash line and you bobbed your head furiously, taking in as much as you could before you gagged. You stared up at him the entire time, watching his face screw together as you lapped and sucked his cock. Your jaw was aching already from his size, minding your teeth placement as you quickened your pace. You returned your hand to wrap and pump whatever your mouth wasn’t able to reach as you set yourself into a more comfortable pattern. Your other hand cupped his balls, swirling them softly in your palms.

Eren’s fingers yanked you back, his dick falling out of your lips in a soft pop, as you looked up in confusion, “Gonna’ stop you there baby, gonna’ make me cum.”

His hand in your hair guided you back up to his lips, and Eren could taste himself as his tongue pushed through your swollen mouth to enter yours. You moaned into the kiss, so sloppy and messy, you took no notice of Eren’s hands wiping away the leftover dribble on your chin. He yanked you back, a bit rougher this time, and you panted, rubbing your thighs together at the force. He eyed you up, your beautiful tits still on display, the fabric of your lace bra folded underneath them.

“Get naked for me, princess,” he cooed, untangling his fingers from your scalp. You did as you were told, practically ripping the lace set off your body as you soon stood stark naked in front of Eren. He pushed his legs up, joining you. You felt very small then as he towered above you, playing with the tips of your hair, he guided you around until you were forced to lay yourself flat on your back on the mattress once again.

Eren caressed your shins as he stood tall in front of you, never breaking eye contact. You could still see the glistening of your saliva on his cock, and heat continued to pool in between your thighs in anticipation of his next move.

“Look at you,” he whispered, wrapping his fingers on the tops of your bent knees, legs closed together. “So pretty, it almost hurts to look at you.”

His darkened eyes shot down, drinking you all in before settling on your closed legs. With his hands, he gently forced them to part, and he let out a quiet moan at the sight in front of him. Dripping in arousal, almost sparkling and shining like the gem you were, your pussy spread open for him, begging for his attention. His gaze darted up back to your face, trying not to get too carried away as he admired your beautiful body.

Eren let out a dark chuckle, stroking his hands to the meat of your thighs, “You have no idea the things I have planned for us, princess.”

You whimpered, unable to voice a single word. His right hand moved towards your center, and you gasped sharply as he gently grazed your folds with the lightest of touches. His thumb landed a hair above your clit, and you squirmed, desperate now. He circled so slowly on your pearl, gazing on with an inflated ego. Eren wanted you to beg for him, to tell you all about those ideas he had going on in his head while he fucked his fingers into you.

He decided to go easy on you though, you had plenty of time ahead of you to learn exactly what he wanted when it came to the bedroom, he cooed, “I’m gonna’ show you off, just like you deserve. Gonna’ buy you pretty things, treat you like the fucking princess you are — gonna’ be my pretty girl.”

“Please, Eren,” you whimpered, attempting to push your pelvis into his hand, failing miserably as his other one gripped your thigh in place. “I need you.”

“Tell me exactly what you need, baby,” Eren smirked.

“Everything,” you breathed out. “I want you to keep calling me pretty, wan’ you to fuck me.”

“We’ll get to that part soon,” he paused, lowering his head to your inner thigh, getting to his knees on the floor. “Just need to make you feel good first, pretty girl.”

Eren licked a bold stripe up your pussy as you mewled, feeling a shred of relief as the tip of his tongue circled your clit. You felt a bead of saliva, probably mixed in with your own arousal, travel down the seam of your ass. Eren was starving, and you tasted so delicious, a sweet tart flavor exploding across his taste buds. He flattened his tongue, and looked up to watch your gorgeous face as his lips engulfed your clit.

You threw your head back, eyes rolling into the back of your skull as you attached your hands to your breasts, pulling and tugging on your nipples. He positioned his hands to the back of your thighs then, somehow managing to spread you open even more. The sounds he made in between your folds were wet and sloppy, and he rubbed small circles with the pads of his thumbs into the creases where your legs met your ass.

He never broke away from your face, watching everything unfold before him. Now that you were free from his solidifying grip, your hips were rolling. He watched your ribs expand and fall as you moaned unabashedly, rubbing your cunt into his mouth. Eren had never seen a more beautiful sight, and suddenly, it wasn’t enough to satisfy him. His right hand itched closer to your opening, and you trembled at the prodding of his index fingers. His tongue flopped around sloppily, slurping your bud in between his lips as he entered you slowly, cock pulsing at the feeling of your slick velvety walls greeting his finger.

Here he was, on his knees before you, eyes heavy and swirling because of you. You arched your back as he pumped the single digit in you slowly at first. He felt the tight clench of your walls as his tongue flicked at a certain angle, pleased that he had discovered very quickly how he was going to get you to cum. Eren was impatient, and as much as he wanted to stay between the heat of your thighs for hours if you’d let him, he really needed that orgasm from you. The tip of his pointer finger left you briefly, and you whimpered at the sudden loss, quickly becoming breathless and he slammed it right back in alongside his middle finger. They curled inside of you, brushing right against the soft spongy wall that was your g-spot. You were gushing for him, the sloppy noises of his assaults resounding around the bedroom.

“Fuck, fuck,” you panted, feeling your breasts bounce as he fucked his fingers into you at an alarming pace, tongue following the pattern eagerly. “Oh my god, I’m so close, Eren, I’m gonna’ cum.”

He pulled his mouth back momentarily, voice husky and pleading as he told you, “Cum for me, baby.”

You slammed your hips down onto his knuckles, feeling the underside of his palm and your slick. He had been reduced to curling and angling his fingers inside of you, watching in adoration and awe as you bounced yourself on his fingers, rubbing your pretty pussy against his mouth. Eren had just become a bystander at this point, he was pretty much forced to be stilled as you used his mouth and hands so greedily, feeling an unfamiliar swell in your cunt.

And when your back arched, and your walls clenched so fiercely tight around his drenched fingers, Eren found his forever love. He’d do anything, be anyone, whatever the fuck that was asked of him, to see this sight for the rest of his life. You were vibrating, legs shaking so strongly, Eren had to mentally catch up when he felt a gush of hot liquid soak him. He shifted his gaze down in shock, and holy shit, you were squirting.

You swore you had never orgasmed like this before, it was more than stars you were seeing behind your closed eyelids. It was pure black, absolute nothingness as your brain short circuited. It was like your pussy was taking a deep breath, because when the onset of contractions hit you, you thought you were going to pass out. And poor Eren, who stared dumbly in front of him at how intense your muscles were flexing, was already so deeply in love with you and was confessing his eternal devotion to you in his mind.

When your cunt had settled down, and your hips relented in pushing yourself against Eren’s face and hands, you let out a low moan as he slid his drenched fingers out of you. He stared at his hand, shining with your cum, and flickered his gaze up to you.

“I’m going to fucking marry you,” he growled. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever fucking seen.”

You let out an exhausted laugh, “Would you believe me if I told you that was the first time I’ve ever squirted?”

“I’m buying you a goddamn ring tomorrow,” he placed a kiss to your inner thigh, moving his body up to hover above you. Eren’s hands wrapped around your thighs once again, propping your knees to your chest. He saw the slight trace of fear in your eyes, and he paused, “You okay?”

“It’s just,” you gazed at the point between your bodies. “Are you gonna’ fit?”

Eren leaned forward, feeling slightly relieved, his face still dripping in your essence, and he placed a sweet, romantic kiss to your lips, pulling away to murmur, “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

You nodded your head, letting the worry roll off your body as one of his hands caressed your cheek, never breaking eye contact with him. The other hand reached in between your centers, grabbing his throbbing cock and sliding himself along your pussy. He was soon coated in your juices, and both of you were letting out quiet moans. As he sunk his tip into your entrance though, you were gasping loudly.

Eren really had wanted to be gentle, he had no intentions whatsoever of hurting you, but he had realized very quickly that you were going to be the one to set the pace in the relationship. Because as soon as half of his shaft was anchored in your heat, your hips slammed upwards to engulf his entire length. He bit back a yelp at the suddenness, fisting the sheets by your waist in a tight grip. If Eren didn’t feel like a virgin before, he sure as fuck did now.

You didn’t realize just how prepped that orgasm had made you, or how sensitive. What you had believed would’ve been pain was insurmountable and mind blowing pleasure, and you smiled in pride as Eren’s jaw fell open. You felt his hands fall from the underside of your thighs, and you took the opportunity, leveraging your legs, and thrusted upwards. Eren bottomed out inside of you, and you winced slightly at the mild pain of his tip meeting the wall of your cervix, the stretch of your walls accommodating him as you fluttered around him.

“You’re so big, Eren,” you moaned out, moving your hands to grasp his flexing biceps. “‘Feels so good.”

Eren was fighting an internal war — go as slow as physically possible as to not bust in your heavenly pussy in three strokes, or give you the best two minutes of your fucking life. Because it was absolutely all way too much, your gorgeous face, your soaked core, the way you gripped his cock so tightly. You were a vixen, Eren’s personal vices wrapped up in one human body. He couldn’t help but take notice of how perfectly your bodies fit together, your pussy made for him.

“Eren, move, please,” you whined, attempting to squirm your hips. He shot a hand down to your hip, stilling you as he gave you a warning glare.

“I’m trying really hard not to cum inside of you right now,” Eren groaned, finally moving his hips. “You’re so fucking tight, baby. Making it real hard for me right now.”

Little was Eren aware of your pussy still on edge from the mind blowing power of your first orgasm, and you mouth lolled open as he slowly fucked you. If you were to touch your clit, or have any type of pressure there right now, it would be over for you as well. You’d have all the time in the future to have long, drawn out sex with Eren, but the two of you were just way too turned on and aroused by each other to have anything but heavy and fast sex. With a slight hesitation on your end, also not wanting to cum so quickly around his length, you rocked your hips into his fastening pace.

Eren chose the latter of his two options then, feeling the ridges of your pussy pulse and flutter around his cock. He pulled all the way back, tip daring to fall out of your little hole, and he flung himself right back in to the hilt. He repeated this a few times, and you were trying your best to hold back screams. Eren was drooling at the sight of your pretty pink pussy taking him, sloppy and messy from his saliva and your cum. He brought his attention to your bouncing breasts, molding one into his palm, rolling the nipple in the center.

Eren’s thrusts quickened dramatically, and he knew that your warning from the previous night had been true. You were screaming, calling out his name and several swears and ‘oh my god’s. This only encouraged him more, ego pretty much stroking his own cock as he plunged into you at a dangerous pace. He knew he was going to fast approach his orgasm, but Eren wasn’t stupid either. He could feel the clench tightening around him as he fucked right into that pretty spot inside of you, the way your breathing changed after a few seconds of that. Eren would become your number one expert, knowing every tell tale sign of your body, and what you were feeling. From one orgasm, he knew how your breathing changed, and Eren was determined to take you to those heights again.

Keeping the flick of his hips at the slamming pace he was at, he brought his thumb to your swollen clit. At the impact, your eyes screwed closed over the overwhelming pleasure. You felt a twinge of pain, just so sensitive from how strong you came before, but didn’t stop Eren as he rolled your pearl in fast circles, putting delicate pressure on the very top. It took maybe three strokes of his cock and a slight unsteady irregularity in his pattern to get you right where he had wanted you — desperate to cum alongside him.

“I’m so close, Eren,” you moaned out, lower body buzzing in anticipation.

“I want you to cum on my cock,” he demanded, a shocked moan crawling out of his throat at the first clench. “Oh, fuck, good girl.”

You spasmed under him, eyebrows shooting up in a furrow as you arched your back uncontrollably, the wave of your second orgasm slamming into you like a train. You could hear the squelching of Eren fucking your pussy as you contracted around him, or as he tried to. It was pure ecstasy, a feeling of wholeness filling you entirely. Half way through your orgasm, he grabbed the base of his cock, sliding out of you as he pumped himself fast above you. You held your legs open, breathing heavily as Eren watched your muscles contract in astonishment. He had never made a girl cum like this before, so hard and so visually. Your beautiful face, eyes encouraging him to cum, was all he needed. His dick was covered in you, his fingers sticky and soaked. It was all so fucking sloppy, and the thought and sight of it all caught up to him.

You felt the hot ropes of cum hit your belly, moaning at the sight. Eren was fucking his fist, cock thrusting in his grip like he had been doing in your pussy. His head hung forward, eyes drinking in the entirety of you. He shot his load on your lower half, stroking himself down after a couple of minutes, breathing heavily.

He eyed the box of tissues on your nightstand, and grabbed a few, languidly wiping his cum off of your abdomen as the two of you tried to catch your breath, or bring a ration thought back into your minds.

“We just had porn star sex,” you giggled tiredly.

“Oh yes we fucking did,” Eren smirked. “Not to like hype you up or whatever, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Your pride and ego swelled as he finished wiping up his cum, discarding the tissues in the bin on the floor. He hadn’t given you much time to respond, asking where the bathroom was so he could grab a rag to clean you up. You were humbled, affection rising in your chest when he returned to take care of your exhausted body. No one had bothered with aftercare before, and right then and there, you knew Eren was a keeper.

“Thank you,” you yawned out, stretching your legs in front of you. Eren hung around a little awkwardly, not sure of what to do. “You can spend the night, if you want to.”

He raised his eyebrows, a smile crossing his face, “Do you want me to?”

You rolled your eyes, pushing yourself back until your head met your pillows and lifted your comforter, gesturing for Eren to join you. And that he did, pouncing on the offer and sliding into bed with you, not hesitating for a second to wrap his muscular arms around your waist. He kissed you gently, pulling away to place his lips on your shoulder as you began to drift off.

You awoke alone in your bed, the bright rays of the sun hazy as you blinked the sleep away. You could smell and hear the sizzling of breakfast in your kitchen, your bedroom door swung wide open. You threw your legs over the mattress, stealing a quick look at yourself in the mirror. You cringed at the mascara stains under your eyes, taking a tissue and wiping underneath your lashes to look presentable enough for the man looming in your kitchen. You discarded the tissue, and slid on a pair of fresh panties and Eren’s enormous sweatshirt you had yet to return, and padded your bare feet across your floor to join him.

Eren’s back faced you, his form only clad in a pair of boxers as he focused his complete attention to the frying pans in front of him. You smirked, leaning against your counter, placing your chin in your open hands.

“Good morning, Chef Eren,” you teased, catching him off guard as he jumped a bit.

He turned to face you, hair a complete mess as a boyish smile graced his face, “Morning, princess. I hope you don’t mind my mess.”

“It smells amazing, so I guess I can figure out a way to forgive you,” you sighed dramatically. “Only if there’s coffee involved, though.”

“Way ahead of you,” he moved his legs over to your coffee machine, a pair of steaming muga awaiting his hand. He grabbed one, a plain white mug that matched the rest of your kitchen set, and set it on the counter in front of you.

“If you’re trying to earn extra credit, it’s working,” you said, dumbstriken.

“Gotta’ show you I’m boyfriend material,” he wagged his eyebrows, turning back to the frying pan before cutting the heat off. “I couldn’t find your plates, though.”

“Cabinet above the sink,” you directed, pulling out a stool from underneath your kitchen bar. “Forks and stuff are in the drawer by the refrigerator.”

Eren nodded, collecting two plates and the necessary utensils from their designated areas. The sight of eggs and bacon made your mouth water, and you were about to get a key made specifically for Eren to waltz in every morning to cook you this glorious meal every single day. You thanked him as he set your plate in front of you, and you dug in.

“Eren, it’s so good,” you complimented after chewing. “You really know how to treat a girl.”

He simply laughed, and the two of you fell into a pleasant conversation. And then by the time mid day rolled around, the two of you had talked all about where you’d be spending the evening. The night had ended just like the one before in mind blowing sex, the morning after repeating itself, and again, and again.

A month later, you had updated your Instagram bio. ‘Connoisseur of mimosas, rock and roll, and Eren Jaeger’. And when it had come time to update your OnlyFans content, you were more than happy to have your own personal photographer to use at your discretion. Just as long as you continued to wear his necklace, Eren would take as many pictures as you needed him to, knowing you’d end up in each other’s beds at the end of the session anyways. And he’d continue to follow you, this time though, you’d gladly send him his favorite pictures for free.

LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.

[altruistic-meme]

hiii

ok SO

a lot of your posts are about aftg and i looked it up and it sounds good but my library doesn’t have it and it’s not really anywhere online

i saw it’s on apple books for FREE (usually apple books cost a lot) but i don’t know if it’s a scam or something (even though it’s through an app directly from apple, im still paranoid about this kind of stuff because a couple months ago my phone was hacked and every day i live in fear)

i was wondering if you know anything about that? where did you read the books?

you seem like you know stuff

are free books on apple books safe? do you know if they’ll charge you money later?

sorry this is a lot of questions i just can’t find anything about it and wondered if you know anything

ahh ok bye (you can completely ignore this ask if you want) <3

OH HI!!!!!

aftg is an amazing series im always glad to be the cause of people becoming interested in it 😌 I'll never be tired of asks like this fkjfkks

first as always, idk if you have yet but I will always say to look at the full list of trigger warnings for the books (here is a good one) and i am also available if you want me to expand on any of them, with or without spoilers

OKAY THAT SAID: I unfortunately know just about nothing about Apple products so I have no idea if they are safe and legit :(

when I first read the books, I ordered physical copies from Barnes and Noble, so I've always had those. I did also download PDFs for free from zlibrary, however, which is where I got my free digital copies. Though I know zlibrary is down now :/ [though there is a website that claims to be zilbrary by im not sure that it's legit, though it does also have aftg]

according to Google, its free on the Kindle store and on Kobo (though I'm not sure what that one is)

there are quite a few websites that pop up if you just search "the foxhole court free pdf" though I can't vouch for their security

if I could figure out how to, I'd absolutely give you the PDFs that I have but I'm not sure how to share them :((( if you happen to know anything about this though, let me know and we can 1000% do that!!

also, even if you're library doesn't have it I would recommend asking them if there are any in the public library system that they could order to have sent there! additionally, see if they have any ebooks and if you could maybe find them through that.

these are all the free options I can think of, but of course there are also options for buying them (though that will depend ofc on where you live and what stores you may have) but like i said, I ordered the trilogy from Barnes and Noble, and it is also available on Amazon (the first book is listed as about $9) and you can, of course, always check secondhand stores :]

that's all I can think of right now! good luck with your search and lemme know if there's any other ways I can help 💕

[spiltscribbles]

Miss you and your marvelous writing!!!! Just a prompt if you’re up to it 😊 exes wolfstar staying friends but sirius gets into a new relationship and he brings his new boo to somewhere he took remus and remus gets sad 😭 but they get back together eventually

Notes: OMFG BABEY! this is so SO beyond precious of you! i adore you to bits! thank you for the sweetness and for this scrumptious angst🥺🥺 i really hope you like it😭😘😘💜

.-

SEND ME A PROMPT  |  A Reblog means SO SO much! I ADORE YOU💜💜

.-

“He can just be so… So” James pauses right then, takes off his cap with the hand that’s still clutching his baseball bat, and ruffles his hair with the other.

“Un-opinionated,” Remus offers half heartedly as they turn the block to the small coffee shop nearest school, both of them freshly showered after the required morning workouts for Tuesday and Thursdays. It’s the first semester in which Remus has actually joined in on the seven minute track, considering the fact that even despite their crazy contradictory schedules with all the sports and extra curriculars they each had, Sirius always made it a point to buy their ice coffees and drop it off to Remus, sometimes leaving them a quarter of an hour late for first period, or as just a quick drop and dash if one of them had an exam. 

It was sweet, considerate. It was Sirius showing how much he cared because he’s never been one for words, even if he would frequently print off the little texts Remus would send him about how Sirius made him feel, and hang it up on the wall besides his bed, along with photos of them and Remus by himself and a few of their other friends too.

But yeah… None of that is really a thing anymore, not the coffees or the texts or the promises of being one another’s always. Not after calling it quits in early January because they knew by August they’d be working with thousands of miles between them and a three hour difference on top of that. It just wouldn’t have been feasible in the long run, and sure— Remus was the one to broach the topic and he knows that Sirius was hesitant about the logical side of it, but sometimes Remus wishes Sirius had fought harder, had argued louder, had wanted Remus more. But that’s a ridiculous expectation, and he had only admitted as much to Lily. And at the end of the day, it was the right choice, because it’s only early May now, and Remus can’t imagine how sick he’ll feel once catching his flight to Berkeley, and they’re steadfastly back in the best friends category of things. He can’t fathom how it would’ve been if they spent all these months and the ones after being together in all those intimate ways, knowing that they’ll be so far apart soon enough.

It was the right decision for the both of them and their friendship.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s go with that,” James says, bringing Remus out of his gloomy contemplations while opening the glass door to Three Broomsticks, sporting a thin smile that he always has on when he’s trying to be kind even when he’s irritated as all get out. 

Remus snorts at him, elbow checking his side as he walks past. “Well he’s sharing that dorm with you and Sirius in New Haven, so I guess you’ve got that to look forwards to.”

James’s face pulls into a grimace and their typical barista nods their way, already receiving their orders through the app and sparing them having to wait in the queue. “Maybe Pete’ll grow his own personality in university, yeah?”

“Sure Prongsie,” Remus says, noncommittal as he checks his phone and lies against the windowpane, already exhausted by the morning. “And if he doesn’t, I’m sure Sirius is about to blow his lid any day now.”

“It’s going to be funny as fuck, and you won’t even be there to see the debris,” James counters, sounding pleasant enough even though Remus knows that he’s nearly as pissed off as Sirius is about the decision for him to go back to his home state for undergrad. 

“You’ll send pictures though.”

“Of course Moony my old friend,” James jokes, tossing him a wink as they straighten once spotting their coffees being rung up. But as Remus takes a step forwards, he notices that a familiarly tan pair of hands are reaching for them, and when Remus looks up he feels like an idiot for not noticing him sooner. Because there Sirius is, dashing as ever in their school’s maroon blazer and tan pants, and his hair is windblown and shining as it falls midway of the nape of his neck. But Remus doesn’t really have the chance to appreciate just how damn good looking his ex-boyfriend is, rather, he’s more distracted by how Sirius doesn’t even notice him or James as he pivots around and hands over the second cup to a beaming Gideon Prewett. Their heads incline while they exchange a few words that are absolutely impossible to pick up in the crowded cafe before they bump their shoulders together and walk out the opposite door.

And it feels like nothing else watching that exchange— like their was a hammer and pick chipping away at his stupid, weeping heart.

“I think they’re just doing a project together,” James says lowly in Remus’s ear, clapping him on the back in reassurance, and Remus loves him, but he’s not in the mood for false platitudes, feels like there is a ugly, burning fire festering deep in his stomach and making Remus want to hurl all over the wooden floors.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he replies instead, mild as he discretely picks up his phone again and opens up to the last conversation he had this morning.

R: need intel 

L: Say more sexy things to me, lover 

R: sirius and Gideon

R: what’s going on there

L: I’ll take a look, dw

Buoyed by Lily’s scary levels of detective skills, Remus returns his phone to his satchel and signals James to follow him to pick up their actual drinks. “C’mon, Flitwick hates it when we’re late.”

.-

“Do you want the good news first, or the bad.” Lily asks Remus later that morning during their shared free period, dropping her bag on the tabletop that they typically commandeer towards the back of Hogwarts’s library, nearest the windows and tucked away by the shelves.

“Is there actually any good news? Or are you just saying that to make me feel better.” Remus asks, single brow cocked as he shuts his history book and tosses it to the side.

“Well your hair looks especially nice today,” she offers with a small smile, sitting besides him and ruffling his curls.

“Thanks, I suppose. But I’d rather just get to it. And don’t sigh at me like that! All long suffering and all.”

Rolling her eyes, Lily gathers her hair into a high pony before turning to Remus fully. “You’re my best friend, I love you more than just about anyone. You know that, right?” Lily asks him, stiff stance relaxing when he nods in turn. “Then understand that I’m saying this from a place of love, but you don’t get to be mad at him, okay. You’re the one who called it off Re, you’re the one who wanted you guys to go back to being friends to avoid that messiness in August. And you know I respect the decision, but also it wasn’t the only one to be had. I mean look at James and I—“

“You’re going to Columbia Lils,” Remus bristles, hates how defensive he’s getting all of a sudden. “That train ride is like two hours and some change at the very most. It’s not the same.”

“You guys could’ve made it work,” she insists, green eyes blazing in the dim light. “He’s crazy about you, and you’re in love with him— Like ass backwards in love. You can’t just cut that off like it’s nothing, damn it, Remus.”

He can feel his own ears reddening and Remus hates it, hates how today had started off so innocuous and now it’s an absolute shit show. Remus hates that Lily is always correct about everything, and hates how Sirius probably is regretting telling Remus he still fully intends to ask him out to prom, and hates how much he loves him— how whenever he looks at Sirius it’s just a deluge of wanting and adoring and regretting and needing to feel his lips against Sirius’s own again like a drug, how he’ll never forget how he tasted like coffee beans and cigarette smoke and the strawberries he ate every morning besides his breakfast. Remus hates it all and he can’t figure out how not to feel like suddenly everything is slipping out of his hands like sand drifting through his fingers.

“He’s probably not that crazy over me anymore considering he’s getting Gideon Prewett coffees now, so maybe it’s the right decision after all.” Is what Remus decides to tell Lily instead of that whirlwind of clashing feelings.

“Oh Christ,” Lily huffs, dropping her head back like she’s asking for strength from the heavens above. “Look, Dorcas tells me that they’ve only been out twice. And Marlene says that it’s nothing intense. Just a movie and then he went to go watch his nephew’s little league game.”

“Oh,” Remus intones, because, no. No he will not start crying like this is some fucking Nicholas Sparks novel, and he’s the wayward lead making all the worst decisions. He’s not going to cry damn it!

He is not a bird, and this is suppose to be happening, and none of this has any real consequence at the end of the day. He and Sirius broke up, and Sirius can go out with whoever he pleases— even if it’s good looking, ginger athletes.

Remus is fine.

“Remus,” Lily gently consoles, lacing her fingers into his own that’s resting on his lap, and squeezing for good measure. “Benjy told Mary, who told me during Calc that Gideon doesn’t expect anything. Sirius told him he’s not looking for anything long term.”

“That’s dumb,” Remus retorts, trying to hold everything in so that Lily doesn’t give him that concerned, doe eyed face of hers, like when he’s spent a week living off of protein bars and double shot espressos preparing for finals. “Gideon’s great, and there on the soccer team together, they would be perfect.”

“Remus, stop.”

“And he’s going to Dartmouth, so he’ll be super close for like weekend excursions and all of that.”

“Remus!”

“The more I think about it, Lils, the more it makes sense. They just fit.”

“Sure, those are all nice attributes,” Lily says, peering up at him disappointedly. “But he’s not you.”

Like a legion of angels singing in the distance, the bell begins to shrill for next period and Remus is spared from giving that statement any mind.

.-

He spends the rest of the week acting as if he hadn’t even seen Sirius that morning whenever around him, and internally analyzing each and every exchange between them, and comparing to them to when he sees Sirius chatting with Gideon. And it’s not fun to say the least. It’s like a flashback to when he was trying to hide his crush on Sirius back in Freshman and most of sophomore year, but somehow worse. It’s worse because Remus had him, had Sirius in all the ways someone could ever want an other. He had Sirius’s languid morning kisses, and Sirius’s bark like laughter. Remus had Sirius being nervous the first time Lyall came for his typical Christmas visit, and Sirius had to try and impress him along with Remus’s mom as more than just the friend he hung around with at school. Remus had Sirius’s gruff voice when they were in bed and getting tangled into one another, and Sirius’s dopey looks in the middle of class when he’d be gazing over at Remus instead of the board. And if Remus is being honest, he knows he still has all those things, but it’s suddenly and searingly clear that some time— sooner rather than later— they’ll all leave, abruptly disappearing and shattering Remus’s world in their wake. Because eventually all of those different facets of Sirius’s won’t be Remus’s anymore— they’ll be Gideon’s or some other boy he meets in New Haven. And Remus can’t even be upset at it, he doesn’t have a claim to any of Sirius anymore, doesn’t get to call any part of him his.

And it’s probably the worst Remus has felt since that first night after their break up, because he’s eating every moment he has with Sirius like he’s famished and Sirius is the last meal he’ll ever know. He wants to memorize every part of him before he can’t have any of it. He wants to unravel every layer of Sirius, and kiss it for the final time, and it’s like saying goodbye a thousand times over, strangling his heart and splintering something desperate deep inside of him.

Like now.

It’s edging on midnight, and they drove up to the lake front near their suburb, with Sirius lying with his head on Remus’s lap and his long, muscled body lying against the tattered blanket beneath them. And his eyes are fluttered shut while the speaker they brought croons out the indie playlist they like most from Spotify.

And Remus can’t help but feel like this is one of their last nights like this, alone and quiet and together without any other specter of some other partner. So he watches him, watches the moonlight pacing over his nose and the high bones of his cheeks and across Sirius’s eyelids too. Remus watches his ink  like lashes kissing his skin, and wants to touch the divot of his cupids bow like so many times before while his other hand cards through Sirius’s hair. 

And Remus lets himself want Sirius and wonders if he’ll ever stop wanting, craving, loving him.

“I can hear you thinking Moons,” Sirius says, fluttering his eyes open and crunching up before Remus can even respond. “What’s going on?”

“Huh? What do you mean? I’m fine.” Remus all but sputters, folding his knees against his chest and wrapping his arms around them, feeling somehow vulnerable in blistering ways. “Nothing is going on.”

“Pff,” Sirius gives him a pointed look, settles down so that they’re side by side and tries to get Remus to look at him head on. “You’ve been strange all week, Moony.” 

“That’s not—“

“And then tonight, you didn’t even tease your ma when she was telling us about that patient who puked all over her shoes.”

“Just tired is all.”

“But had enough energy to smoke half the joint I brought.” Sirius says with a snort, looking frustrated again when Remus didn’t even flinch a smile at the counter. “Remus, talk to me.”

“It’s fine Sirius,” Remus sighs, suddenly remembers how exhausting all their arguments were in the past. How Sirius tries getting him to speak everything in his mind, as if Remus could even put them into words. 

“Okay, then tell me why you rejected my offer to go to that Frank Ocean concert. You’re obsessed with him.”

“’S in July,” Remus reminds him lightly, focusses on the way they can see the North star glimmering against the horizon instead.

“And, so?” Sirius asks, sounding more than a bit scathing. “You’re not leaving for another month after that, you trying to cut me off completely by the summer or something?”

“Don’t be an idiot.”

“Don’t be condescending.”

“Sirius, just leave well enough alone. Holy shit.”

“I can leave it alone if you can actually tell me what the fuck is going on with you,” Sirius snaps, standing up now, probably because he always likes using his height advantage on most people whenever he gets all pissy.

“You can be such a prick sometimes, you know that?” Remus snarls at him, following suit and dipping his head back just slightly so that they’re eye to eye. “Not everything is on your schedule, you know that.”

“My schedule!” Sirius’s brows jump to his hairline, and he breaks into that manic laughter that springs up only when he’s so angry he can’t put his thoughts together. “I’m trying to do as much shit with you as possible before you leave, because for some stupid fucking reason I’m going to miss you when your across the fucking country! But yeah, whatever. If you’re actually just sick of me and my presence or what the fuck else, you can just—“

“I would’ve assumed you wanted to go with Gideon,” Remus blurts out, simply unable to hold it back any more, unable to pretend like he’s not suffering a thousand fresh paper cuts every time he even glances Sirius’s way these days. He can’t do this, can’t pretend to just be friends when they were— when they are— so much more than that. “To the concert I mean. I just assumed—“

“No,” Sirius says, seething as he storms up to Remus— close enough that the tips of their noses brush up against each other. 

“No? Excuse me?”

“No Remus you don’t get to do this!” Sirius repeats, voice going frayed at the edges as their glances level. “You don’t get to pretend as if I want anyone more than I want— than I’ve always wanted you. And you don’t get to float around for the rest of your life pretending as if this’ll ever change for me. As if you can’t hit me up in fifteen years when I’m married with kids, and ask to get back together, and think  that I wouldn’t drop it all for you.”

Remus’s heart begins to thud, loud and painful against his ribcage, and his lungs feel like they might collapse the instant Remus let’s the tears swimming in his eyes sprinkle out. “Sirius, I ca—“

“I’ve been in love with you since before we were suppose to mean what that meant, damn it, Remus! And you’re the one who called it off!”

“It was the right decision.” Remus croaks out, plunging his hands into his hoodie’s pockets, doesn’t want Sirius to see the way they’re shaking.

“”For you. The right decision for you.” Sirius presses, his gray eyes dark underneath the stars. “And you know I’d do anything you wanted of me, but you don’t get to be mad at the ways I cope. And you sure as fuck don’t get to be jealous of fucking Gideon Prewett, as if he can hold a match to you.”

“Oh.” Is all Remus can gather to say, peering back down at his shoes and pressing together his lips, feels the most lost he ever has while around Sirius. “I love you too, you know that. You know I love you so much that it hurts sometimes— That was never the problem.”

Sirius makes a strangled sound deep in his throat, and the next second, Remus can’t feel the warmth of his body besides him because Sirius is darting over to the cusp of the lake and kicking at a rock. “Fuck, Remus. You can’t just say that, all right! You can’t because none of this is fair, or okay. And I fucking hate it and I hate this and—“

“Maybe we can try,” Remus says, quiet but unshaken. And he watches as Sirius slowly turns back around, face scrunched up in utter confusion, but eyes glittering with something like hope. “I love you Sirius, and you love me. And Lily’s right, fucking hell she’s so right. I can’t just turn it off, okay. I’ve tried and I’ve tried, but I can’t. I can’t be around you and not want every part of you. But I also can’t let myself stay away from you. So let’s try, and it’s probably a stupid difficult decision, and we’re going to be frustrated and we’re going to miss one another but I know there’s going to be no one I want more and I think you migh— Oof.”

Remus can’t continue rattling off any of the reasons why they should get back together, because Sirius is somehow magically popping up in front of him— his large hands cupping against Remus’s jawline and his thin lips crashing against him, and Remus can only wrap his arms around Sirius’s torso and give him back all he’s pushing forwards.

And it might’ve been a minute or an hour that past, but Sirius is pulling back with a face that looks lighter in ways Remus hasn’t seen on him since the breakup all those months ago. “I’d literally agree to anything if it means we can stay together, Moony. Absolutely anything.”

Remus feels the strain against the apples of his cheeks as he beams at him at the sound of the oath. “Yeah, me too Padfoot. Always and forever, it’s you.”

.-

My Other Wolfstar FIC💜

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

Fools in Love

Summary: He can explain how String Theory works. He can figure out Riemann Hypothesis. He can recite all the numbers of pi until he’s blue in the face. Yet somehow, Spencer Reid can’t figure out what to do for his first first anniversary. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader 

Warnings: Spencer Reid is a self-deprecating mf, Jane Austen quotes? But there’s a happy ending 

Word Count: 3128

Fools in Love

He scratches the back of neck, a nervous habit that he’s sure makes him look weak. He wants to find the perfect recipe to make a wonderful meal for Y/N. It’s his first first anniversary so Spencer’s completely lost as to what to do. Y/N deserves the most romantic dinner, especially considering how much chaos he causes. It must be a lot to put up with him, Spencer thinks. He’s even more useless when it comes to love than when it comes to cooking. While he might not be a fan of technology, given he has the Thai place down the street from his apartment on speed dial. She doesn’t deserve some take out Thai with paper plates. But he’s a scientist, a well-known and well-educated scientist who is completely failing at planning his first anniversary.

It was useless. Completely and utterly useless, Spencer thought to himself as he ran his fingers across the various titles of cookbooks. Some featured complex dishes from Korea and others were 30 minute meals of the vaguely Midwest variety. Spencer never in his entire 33 years of living felt so out of place in a library. He’s so at home in between the stacks of books, he finds the comforting words of long dead authors and intricate mathematical theories a second home. However, it seems that Spencer Reid has found the most intimidating section of the library: cooking.

And what do academics do when they are at a crossroad? Well, they call in the experts. The love expert came in the shape of Agent Derek Morgan himself. This idea just might be the most brilliant thought Spencer’s had or the dumbest, but Y/N is worth it. 

Okay, maybe it was a mistake to come to Derek, Spencer thinks as he sits in front of his friend, a coffee in his hand and an expression of pure fear on his face. 

“You want me to, what?” Spencer asks, shocked at Derek’s suggestive advice.  

“Lie in bed naked, call Y/N on the phone and make something up. You’ll be waiting in bed and then BAM! Anniversary sex,” Derek says, his eyebrows wagging as he sips his coffee. 

“Are you messing with me, Morgan?” Spencer says, his face pale from the very thought of lounging in bed naked, waiting for Y/N to come over to his apartment.

“Why not, I’m sure it would get you laid,” Derek reasons. Get me laid? Spencer and Y/N don’t get laid, he thinks. They do have sex, but it’s not getting laid. It’s more romantic and loving than just whatever Derek suggests. 

God, he can’t tell Derek that, he’d never live it down. 

“You have slept with Y/N, right?” Derek asks, suddenly nervous that he touched a nerve with his friend. As much as he likes to tease, Spencer knows that Derek doesn’t mean any harm, hence why he’s the first person he thought to come to. 

“We prefer to call it making love,” Spencer says, pretending to be very interested in his chocolate donut and trying to fight off the blush that rises to his cheeks. Even a year into their relationship, Spencer still gets butterflies at thinking about Y/N like that. 

“So you want this to be more romantic than just fucking, because you’ve done it for a year?” Derek proposes as simply as if he’s talking about a case. Not that talking about serial victims is anymore normal or weirder than the current conversation. 

“Morgan and you please stop talking about Y/N and sex in the same sentence?” Spencer says through gritted teeth. 

“Reid, kid. I’m just busting your chops, I know who you feel about Y/N. When you two are in the same room, it’s like there’s no one else in the world. And it’s kinda hard to get your mind to focus on one thing, but Y/N does that,” 

“I know,” Spencer says. “I can’t mess this up Derek. I can’t give another person a reason to leave me,” 

“Y/N won’t leave because you can’t plan a terrible anniversary dinner,” Derek says comfortingly. 

“I checked out 7 cookbooks, Morgan. 7, and I read them on the metro home. It’s useless, I’m useless,” Spencer laments.

He looks up to try to read Derek’s expression. The last thing he’d want to see on his face is pity or worse laughter. No, Spencer. Derek is your best friend. He’s the closest thing you have to a brother. Spencer feels almost guilty for thinking that Derek would laugh at him, while he might like to tease him, especially about his lovelife, they trust each other inexplicably. What’s written on Derek’s face is not pity or ridicule, it’s a smile. A smile not for Spencer, but for the colorful woman walking towards their table. 

“You told Garcia?” Spencer groans, but scooting over so Penelope would have a spot to sit with them. 

“Of course I told Garcia, kid. You know better than anyone that we can’t keep anything secret,” Derek explains, leaning in to kiss Garcia’s hand. 

“Spencer Reid! I can’t believe you,” Garcia says, smacking Spencer’s arm lightly. 

“Garcia!” Spencer shouts, clutching his coffee and hunching down in his seat to avoid being hit by the tech goddess with her hard rings on her surprisingly strong hands. 

“Don’t Garcia me, Reid. You need me, whether or not you realize it or not. I’m irreplaceable,” she tells him, grabbing a pink notebook and a fluffy green pen from her bag. 

Spencer nods in understanding, as much as he hates it, he knows that he needs help. It’s just a hard pill to swallow when help comes in the form of Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia, perhaps the two people on Earth who are the most in love. 

“I know I need you guys,” Spencer says, looking from Garcia to Derek, half expecting them to tell him to order some terrifying sex toy from a scretchy store on the edge of town or something equally horrifying. 

“What’s something that she likes? You know like a special thing that Y/N would never think about getting herself” Garcia asks, making notes with the fluffy when that bounces as she writes. 

“She likes to read,” Spencer suggests, thinking about the first date that they had. They talked for hours about their favorite books and ended up getting booted from the library for overstaying their welcome. Y/N found it quite endearing that The Little Prince is Spencer’s while her is anything and everything by Jane Austen. He thinks back to her eyes gleamed when talking about the book, or how passionate she got when she argued that Mr Knightley and Emma were soulmates. 

“Okay, that’s a start Spencer. Really good,” Garcia says, trying to boost her friend’s confidence. 

“What else?” Derek asks, thinking about the times when he and Y/N hang out with Spencer and Penelope. 

“Fret not, Boy Wonder,” Garcia says, softly patting Spencer’s shoulder, “I’ll take care of this,” she finishes as she reaches into her bag, that seems to have a never ending bottom, and pulls out a laptop. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So Garcia and Morgan took over your anniversary plans and basically just made it how they’d want to spend their anniversary?” JJ offers, as she hands Spencer a beer from her refrigerator and sits back down at her kitchen table. 

Spencer takes a swig of his beer and shrugs his shoulders, thinking about how wrong this whole anniversary dinner has gone. 

“I just wanted this to be special, JJ. I know it’s only been a year, but Y/N is it for me. God, she was it for me on the third date,” Spencer confesses. 

“I know, Spence. I’ve never seen you this happy. Happiness looks good on you,” JJ tells him. 

“Y/N makes me happy, she puts up with me, so the least I can do is make this perfect for her,” 

“Spence, don’t sell yourself short,” JJ says, “You’re a kind man and a wonderful boyfriend, you’re both lucky to have each other,” 

“Thank you, JJ, but Y/N is the better person in this relationship. That’s why this needs to be perfect,” Spencer explains, his self doubt still littering his mind. 

“What about a baseball game? You can pay for a message to pop up on the Jumbotron. Like Happy Anniversary, Y/N,” JJ suggests, and Spencer really can’t tell if JJ is joking. She can’t possibly think that Y/N and he would have a romantic anniversary with the threat of getting pelted in the face with a baseball. 

“Sports games are not our forte, JJ. I honestly can’t tell who’d hate sitting in the sun for hours with angry sports fans,” Spencer adds. 

“Okay so no sports, I should have figured, Spence,” JJ winks knowingly. “How about this, think about somewhere that’s special to you two. Somewhere that makes you think of her,” 

“The thing is JJ, everyplace we’ve been together makes me think of her. The elevator when she first kissed me, the movie theater we always go to on Saturday nights, even the sidewalk outside my apartment building. Everything makes me think of her because she’s my everything,” Spencer says, hiding his discomfort at the conversation. 

“Spence, I think that anything you plan, will be wonderful. Have a little trust in yourself for once, Y/N is already head over heels in love with you, so I doubt that she’d really care where you go or what you do,” JJ advises, clearing up the dirty dishes from their Friday night pizza dinner with the boys. 

“I’m going to go JJ, thanks for talking me out of my head. If I took Morgan’s advice, I’d probably end up with a restraining order,” Spencer jokes, putting his jacket on and saying goodbye to his friend. 

“You think you need an Uber?” JJ asks, but immediately finds amusement from Spencer’s disgust at the idea of getting into an Uber. 

“Germs and technology sound like a nightmare, JJ. And I’m not going to remind you of the statistics regarding missing persons and those rideshare apps-” Spencer offers, but is cut off by JJ’s pretend annoyance. 

“Remind me to send Y/N combat pay, you know maybe she is a saint for putting up with you,” JJ teases. 

He walks out into the chill of the night, recounting the advice his friends gave him. Derek and Penelope’s plan was a little outlandish, a little too much for Spencer and Y/N. JJ, who Spencer knows means well, only served to remind him of how hard it must be with him. His steps are slow and languid, but his mind anything but. 

One step, you’re probably just a charity case that Y/N decided to save. 

Two steps, why on Earth would a woman like her even look at a man like you.

Three steps, you’re so pathetic that you can’t even plan a dinner for her. She’s too good for Spencer, you’ll ruin her. 

Everyone who you love leaves you or dies, anyway.

It’s that thought, not the thought of being alone, but the thought that he deserves to be alone that sends the tears down his cheeks. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Somehow, someway, Spencer made it back to his apartment. It never felt so dark, so unlike home. Maybe he just didn’t never realized that these walls aren’t home without Y/N. He really should try to get to sleep, but he’d rather fend off sleep with the endless supply of coffee than have to face a night alone in the cold bed. 

Just as Spencer makes his way to prepare a cup of coffee, he hears a distant jiggle of keys and the door knob rattle. And in comes Y/N, as fresh as the cup of coffee brewing and as beautiful as ever. 

“Happy Anniversary, my love,” Y/N tells him, dropping the bags on the floor. She moves over to him like a light breeze. All he wants is to welcome her embrace. He wants to scoop her up and carry her far away from the monsters that lie in wake. He feels an urge to be her protector, but how can be her protector when what he really wants is to be protected. 

“Y/N, what are you doing here, it’s so late,” Spencer says, praying that his voice doesn’t let go. He knows it’s futile, one look from Y/N, her palm to his cheek or even worse a chaste kiss on his forehead, Spencer would not be able to think. What is a genius without his mind? 

“I couldn’t wait for tomorrow, Spence, I just missed you too much,” Y/N says, her voice a prayer that spins around in Spencer’s brain, searching for refuge in his heart. 

“You really missed me?” Spencer asks, desperately wanting to believe her beyond belief. Y/N’s frown searches for an answer in Spencer’s distant expression. Even though they stand there with the kitchen light casting shadows touching as much skin as they can reach, Spencer is a million miles away.

“Of course I missed you, baby. And I just had to give you one of your gifts tonight. I just couldn’t wait to see your face,” Y/N says, practically bouncing as she bounds off to get the package for Spencer. 

“So this is only the first part, and stay with me, I know how much you hate technology, but I think you’ll make an excuse for this,” She tells him, handing him a heavy cube shaped package. It’s decorated in Y/N’s handwritten flowers and hearts, and a cute doodle of who Spencer can only assume is them. His girlfriend may not be artistic. But she’s the artist who paints the stars in Spencer’s night sky. She’s the tailor who sewed him back up when he was broken. She’s the architect who has the key and blueprint to his heart. 

Spencer opens the gift, his hands shaky and unsure. He’s terrified that Y/N can see right though him. He reveals the present. It’s a small wooden box with a red wooden heart that looks like it’s supposed to be pixelated. There’s a blank space on the top, that Spencer supposes is a screen.

“You gotta plug it in, Spence. So the messages can pop up. When you're far away from me saving the world, I can type a message from my phone and it’ll appear on your box,” she explains. Spencer looks up at her trying to search for what he did to get this lucky. 

“Thank you, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” Spencer tells her, placing a kiss against her forehead. It’s the kind of kisses that tell you so much more. It’s the kind of kiss you give when you know there’s more where that one came from. It’s safe and warm and everything good about this world. 

“I gotta make sure you won’t forget me when you go traipsing all over the country. A hot genius like you only comes around so often. I’m sure you got loads of attractive people throwing themselves at you, Spence,” she says with a wink. 

“Hot genius?” Spencer repeats half dumbfounded and half joking. 

“Yup, I gotta make sure they know that you’re spoken for,” 

“I couldn’t forget you even if I tried, Y/N. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. I still don’t know what I did to ever deserve you,” Spencer says, as the tears and the fears of not being good enough bubble to the surface. 

“Spencer, baby. You’re shaking. What’s the matter? Huh,” she says softly, brushing her hand over Spencer’s head in a comforting and loving gesture. 

Spencer leans into her, his head pressed into her neck. He can hear her heartbeat and he can smell her perfume. He wants to get lost in her. Get lost in the feeling of total and complete love. 

“I just wanted this to be perfect, Y/N. For you- you deserve so much more than I can give. It must be so hard dating me. I know that I’m difficult to love sometimes,” Spencer murmurs, his tears pouring down his cheeks and spilling like his darkest thoughts onto Y/N’s shirt. 

“Spencer, you make my life so much brighter. So much fuller. I know that you got a lot going on up in that mind of yours and it must be kinda scary. It must be hard always being the guy people expect answers from. But I got you, sweetheart. And I’m not letting go,” Y/N tells him the words falling from lips like a psalm and taking on a new life in Spencer’s heart. 

“Thank you, Y/N. I really wanted this to be the best anniversary. I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” Spencer apologizes as he peppers light, feathery kisses along her collarbone and up to her eyes. 

“Well you’re my mess, Spencer. Let’s be honest, I’d be completely happy to spend our anniversary anywhere with you. Except maybe sports games, that sounds like torture for both of us,” Y/N laughs and Spencer can’t get over how she practically glows in the kitchen light. It could be that his mind is foggy with love, but Spencer hopes that he never grows out of this blissful feeling. 

“Well it’s a good thing we’ll have many more to make up for this one,” Spencer says, letting himself get dragged to the large fluffy sofa. 

“Oh no, Mister. The next 50 anniversaries have to try to top this one,” Y/N tells him and Spencer’s heart skips and flutters at the thought of having another 49 anniversaries with Y/N by his side. 

“I doubt that 50 will be enough, Y/N” 

“As long as you’ll allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you,” Y/N says, cuddling so close to Spencer that she can’t see where her limbs start and Spencer’s end. 

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more,” Spencer says running his spidery fingers down Y/N’s side much to her delight. 

“Ooh are you trying out some Jane Austen foreplay? Because that’s the way to make my panties drop,” Y/N says suggestively as she rubs her hand over Spencer’s chest and rests it on his neck. 

“Maybe tomorrow, I just really want to hold you close right now, Y/N.” Spencer says, sweetly kissing along her temple exciting a bout of giggles from the two of them. 

Spencer very well might be useless when it comes to love, but he was eager to learn that he’s worthy of love from his love expert. 

[arwainian]

Reading This Week 2023 #2

Lots of good reading this week! I got a LOT of books/comics out from the library, and I made it through most of them. There's one loan I haven't started yet, but I know in my soul once I start reading it I will not stop, so I need to get some other things first

Finished:

Teen Titans: The Silver Age Omnibus, Vol. 1

Thank you to my dad for lending me this tome, and for also being willling to lend me the next volume when i'm ready to read it over spring break. I love these teen superheroes so much,,,,

Before Trans: Three Gender Stories from Nineteenth-Century France by Rachel Mesch

GOD this book was absolutely fantastic, and I actually geeked out about it on my plane with someone I sat near bc they had also read it and just MWAH. if you are interested in queer/trans history and historical figures, and historical queer/trans literature, read this book. read this book anyway if you're not because it will GET you interested by telling you such excellent biographical stories of three "women who dressed as men (wink)" who were roughly contemporaries of each other, just in different circles

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, narrated by George Guidall

another classic i can now say I've read (thank you audio books), and also this delivered Plenty of ideas for my wip so Yay!

Started and Finished:

fe3h fic -

pocketful of posies by redamantian First Proof by printers_devil Not Yet Come To Pass by golbat How to Talk to Strangers Without Passing out, and Other Tips for Your First Artist Alley by ellipsometry

honestly didn't think i would have to indent/collect the fic reading together this week, but then I read two more fics last night (and skimmed/abandoned a few more that i decided weren't worth it). First Proof has an Excellent character voice with Annette narrating and interesting worldbuilding, so if you check any of these out, make it that one

Beastars, Vol. 2-3 by Paru Itagaki, translated by Tomoko Kimura

*shakes Libby app* deliver the next volume of this series you coward!

Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow, written by Tom Kin, illustrated by Bilquis Evely, colored by Matheus Lopes

absolutely GORGEOUS art, and a classic revenge journey that is well told. really glad I was able to get this out of the library and thank you to @misspickman for the recommendation!

nightwing and red robin hit the town (or do they?) by xscintillate

I think I might have had this open on my phone bc i saw a post of fic recs and this was on it? anyway it was cute and good

Ongoing:

The City of Brass by S. A. Chakraborty

OKAY i finally read the second chapter, and it was good. I get it now, I get why my dad recommended it to me and i WILL keep reading it

[josjournal]

Full Moon Ficlet #435 - Deluge

Written for @fullmoonficlet

Stiles sat at the table in the library of the rebuilt Hale house, his head buried in a book while stacks of more books surrounded him. He rubbed at his temples, trying to focus on the words that had been swimming in front of his eyes for the last ten minutes. The latest monster of the week didn’t fall under anything he’d dealt with in the past. Stiles had been up for the last twenty-four hours pouring over every book in the library trying to find something, anything to lead them in the right direction.

Groaning, Stiles stood from the table, stretching until his back felt looser before dropping back into the chair. Reaching for the next book, he pulled it towards him, opening it to somewhere in the middle. He started to curse and shove it away when he discovered it was a spellbook and not one of the bestiaries they had copied from other packs they’d been building alliances with.

His eyes caught on a spell, the words in Latin but he recognized some of them. The spell seemed to be to create a flow of information. Stiles thought it might be like forced osmosis. If he could use it on the books, then it might help him figure out what was happening in the preserve. The random fires were becoming dangerous with the drought currently affecting the area. They would have thought it was a regular arsonist if they weren’t blazing simultaneously across the town.

For a moment, he hesitated, remembering Derek’s warning about using magic without thinking. He knew he wanted to help and Derek was out in the preserve trying to keep the fires under control. He reached for his phone to call Lydia to double-check his Latin but remembered she had a trip to the spa with her mother that weekend and had threatened bodily harm if she was disturbed for anything less than an absolute emergency.

Glancing back down at the text, he chewed his lip for a moment before speaking the words from the page. “Producat usque ad summum flumen super terram de sermonibus siccitatis.” He closed his eyes and waited for the flood of information, predicting it would be at least slightly painful.

After a few minutes when nothing happened, he cracked open one eye and glanced at the book, frowning. He heard noise downstairs, like tapping against the windows just as his phone started ringing, Derek’s name and photo showing on the screen. He tapped the screen open and heard a rushing sound in the background, Derek shouting his name over it.

“What, Derek? I can barely hear you!” The call cut off and Stiles tried calling back but the call went to voicemail. Panicking, he ran down the stairs, planning to head in the direction Derek said he’d planned to patrol.

Yanking open the front door, he was knocked off his feet by a massive flood of water roaring into the house. He scrambled to keep from being pulled beneath the surface as he heard Derek shouting his name in the distance. His shoulders smacked into something hard and he swallowed a mouthful of water as he let out a shout. The last thing he remembered was something clamping around his arm, pain shooting through him before everything went black.

The world was moving as Stiles jerked upwards, water and bile spilling from his mouth. His chest burned as he was gathered into a strong hug, the world tilting ominously. Blinking his eyes, he realized that he was wrapped in Derek’s arms, the both of them sitting precariously on the front door that was floating somewhere near the upstairs landing.

“Did we put in a swimming pool?” Stiles asked, confused when Derek’s body began to shake uncontrollably. “Are you crying?” Derek pulled back, his face was wet with tears, but he was choking back laughter. “What happened?”

Derek shrugged. “I was patrolling and heard a rumble in the distance. At first, I thought it was a storm coming, and the next thing I knew, water was rushing towards me. I tried to call you, but the water knocked the phone out of my hand. I had just reached the house when you opened the door and disappeared.” He pulled Stiles into his arms again, running his nose along his hairline before pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I thought I’d lost you for a minute.”

“Where did the water come from?” Stiles asked. “Is it getting deeper?”

“I don’t think so.” Derek grabbed the stair railing and pulled the door towards the top of the stairs. He helped Stiles out and onto the second floor. “What were you doing?”

“Research,” he said, heading towards the library, Derek following closely. “I still can’t find the source of the fires and the spell I tried-”

“Spell?” Derek asked, hurrying to the table and picking up the spellbook. “Which one?” Stiles stared at him. “Which spell, Stiles?”

Moving closer, he pointed at the spell, watching Derek’s lips move as he read over the words. He grabbed Stiles’ phone off the table and opened the translation app, snapping a photo of the words and hitting “translate” before handing the phone to Stiles with his eyebrows lowered in his most annoyed expression.

“Bring forth the flood to end the drought upon the surrounding land,” Stiles read, biting his lips and looking up at Derek. “Oops?” Derek cocked an eyebrow, unimpressed, before taking Stiles’ phone back to call Deaton for help with a counterspell.

Cross-posted to AO3

[adapembroke]

A Guide to Learning Astrology for Baby Witches

You’ve learned enough about astrology to know that you want to go deeper. You had a dramatic Saturn return or Mercury retrograde. Or, maybe, you just really like your sun sign.

Whatever your reason, you’re ready to take the next step in getting to know your signs and planets.

But what do you do?

Check the weather.

There are few things better for learning astrology than watching what’s happening in the sky as it happens. Even if you don’t understand everything that’s happening, spending time regularly thinking about transits can help you make connections between the things that are happening in your life and the movements of the planets through the sky.

To help you figure things out, most professional astrologers post forecasts or write about the astrological weather.

I talk about the weather on my patrons-only Discord server and help my patrons figure out how to apply what’s happening to their lives.

I also recommend…

Astrology Podcast monthly forecasts,

Astrology University’s The Cosmic Eye Monthly Forecast,

The Water Trio Podcast (bi-monthly forecasts).

Make a plan.

Listening to forecasts is good. Applying what you hear to your life is better.

Listening to astrological forecasts, figuring out how those predictions apply to you, making a plan for how you’re going to respond, and going back to see if the predictions were right levels up your skills in a gentle, natural way. You learn through trial and error how to make the information you hear relevant to your life.

Even better, if an astrologer consistently interprets the astrological weather in ways that make sense to you, you know that you’ve found an ally in your journey and that their work is worth paying attention to.

Get a planner.

Keeping track of the astrological weather can be as simple as making notes in a note app on your phone or jotting things down in a cheap notebook, but an astrological planner can save a lot of work.

I have been using the Honeycomb Collective Personal Astrological Almanac (Price: $10+), and I like it because it doesn’t just show you what’s going on for everyone. It uses your chart to show you what transits you’re experiencing personally each day. This means you don’t have to do the calculations for yourself to see if you’re going to be impacted by a transit you hear about. If you get the Hellenistic astrology add-on, the planner also highlights the transits that are especially important.

I make notes on transits right in my planner, so I can see the weather and the weather’s impact on my life side-by-side. It’s done wonders for my practice.

Read a book.

The Inner Sky by Steven Forrest - A classic introductory book and reference guide. If I was stranded on a desert island with one astrology book, I’d want it to be this one.

Astrology: Using the Wisdom of the Stars in Your Everyday Life, Carole Taylor - Beautifully designed and a great introduction for visual learners.

Cosmos and Psyche, Richard Tarnas - A deep dive into the question: How can you be an intelligent person and believe in astrology? Also an exploration of the cycles of history through an astrological lens.

Introduction to Traditional Natal Astrology, Charles Obert - If you’ve been studying astrology for a while and want to explore some slightly more advanced, traditional astrological techniques, this book will explain the basics and give you a step-by-step process for applying what you’ve learned to reading a chart.

Saturn Returns: Thinking Astrologically, Tom Jacobs - If you are between 27-30 years old, the biggest transit you’re going through right now is your Saturn return. This book will help you figure out how to navigate it.

Take a class (or get certified).

There are lots of free resources out there on YouTube and social media, but if you really want to get serious about your studies, a class can help you level up in a structured way.

Astrology University has classes on just about any subject you can think of, and they have a 4-year training program taught by professional astrologers from a variety of backgrounds with an option to get certified at the end. I have not gone through the program, but I have heard lectures from each of the members of the faculty, and they are all wonderful.

Many individual professional astrologers also offer classes and certification programs. Some classes are pre-recorded, and some have the option to study with them live and ask questions.

If you like lots of examples and anecdotes, I highly recommend Steven Forrest’s lectures or his apprenticeship program.

I have also taken Austin Coppock’s The Proper Care & Feeding of a Birth Chart: Planetary Refinement & Remediation and found him to be a great teacher. I especially recommend this class if you’re feeling anxious about things in your chart. He gives you lots of ideas for working with difficult placements.

Join the astrology community.

If you are just starting out, it can be hard to find other people to talk to about your interests.

I co-founded Diviners Anonymous, a Discord server with an active astrology channel. We would love to have you join us.

If you’re into social media, the astrology community on Twitter is particularly good.

The Association for Young Astrologers (AYA) ($20/year membership) also has regular community Zoom chats, a Discord server for text chat, and a library of free classes for members by experienced, professional astrologers. The library alone is worth the cost of membership many times over.

Find a mentor.

It can be fun to puzzle astrology out for yourself, but everyone runs into questions they have a hard time answering on their own. A professional astrologer can answer difficult questions and provide a valuable outsider perspective.

Astrologers I recommend:

Paul Richard

Dena DeCastro

Jay Imarah Evans (my mentee)

I also offer readings and mentoring and answer questions about astrology for my Patreon patrons.

Share the love.

If you’ve been studying astrology for awhile, what resources and practices have helped you learn astrology?

I’d love to see what you add to this list.

Let’s share what we know and give the newbies a leg up!

This is not a sponsored post. I only recommend products and services I personally find useful.

This post was originally published on adapembroke.com in December 2020.