#i figured out how to share deleted scenes with yall

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Spencer Reid, S10E11 "The Forever People" (deleted scene)

[zontiky]

okay so i tried to save this ask as a draft and it got deleted because tumblr is just such a functional website like that <3 but the prompt was “the hargreeves as ghosts in the apocalypse with five” or something like that i’m going to scream

this is SUPER long so i’m putting it under the cut hfkjsd

pre-five: the hargreeves siblings are dead. wait i feel a drabble coming on ooh

The Hargreeves siblings are dead.

Ben isn’t very aware of this at first. He’s been dead since 2006 -- he’s quite used to it, by now. What he is aware of, first, is light. Blinding white light. And Vanya, in the middle of it. He doesn’t close his eyes because he can’t feel pain, but if he could he thinks she would have made him blind. There’s light, and heat, and power, and then he closes his eyes anyway because the ceiling is collapsing around him and it’s instinctual.

When he opens them again he sees ash. Ash -- and Klaus.

He’s gotten used to Klaus, too. Klaus has a memorable sort of face; even if he didn’t, Ben has seen it every single day for almost twenty years. He doesn’t know if it’s actually been twenty years, for him. He doesn’t know how time moves for ghosts. Klaus has assured him it moves the same as it does for the living. Ben isn’t sure Klaus, stoned out of his mind, bleeding sluggishly from his arm, knew what he was talking about.

Anyway.

Klaus.

He’s wearing the coat he’s been flaunting around for the past week. His shirt is see-through, with little stars on it, like a pale imitation of the sky. Ben remembers his pants had laces on them, he’s sure they did not a minute ago, before the brightness that threatened to wipe out his very soul -- his soul is all he has left, really. His gaze drifts down anyway, to check.

Yes. Klaus’ pants have laces up the sides.

“No,” Ben says. Klaus is laying in a heap on the ground, his fingers curled like his tendons have been cut.

His lips feel numb because they always feel numb. Because Ben can’t feel at all. He takes a step. “No,” he says again, louder, surer. “No!”

Klaus looks up at him. His makeup is smudged, like it tends to be. His lips are bitten raw, like they tend to be. His hair is a mess, like it tends to be, and like it will be, always, because Klaus isn’t breathing.

Klaus is lying in a heap on the ground. Klaus is standing above his own body. Klaus is reaching for Ben like he’s hoping to touch him for the first time in years. Just when Klaus’ cold, dead, fingers brush his face, a voice from behind says, so quietly, dripping with disbelief: “Ben?”

Ben shuts his eyes and wishes desperately he could cry.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, for the first time in so, so long, but he also doesn’t feel it at all. He feels-but-doesn’t-feel someone turn him around, until they are saying, “Ben? Ben!” and he has no choice but to open his eyes and face the music.

Diego is gripping his shoulders like he is a dying man and Ben is the answer. Behind him, Luther and Allison watch them, stunned silent. Allison’s hands are pressed to her mouth. She looks like she wants to cry. 

And Vanya. Little Vanya, painted white. Her head is hung as her shoulders shake with the weight of the destruction she has so inevitably caused. (Ben would say he always knew she was destined for great things -- but he can’t, because he didn’t.) (Nobody ever said great things had to be good.)

The Hargreeves siblings are dead. Their bodies are strewn across what is left of their childhood home, smouldering and burning, and Ben is very aware of that fact.

righto anyway. so they have an emotional reunion but its also kind of bitter? id have to actually write this for it to make sense so lets skip it for now lol

five shows up

he cannot see them obviously bc theyre all ghosts

god if i did write this it would be such a monster of a fic and would take me like 2 years to finish i already know fhkjdsk

somehow ?? they manage to influence the world around them maybe? idk maybe now that klaus is dead hes sober

or maybe hes high for all eternity?

for the purposes of this au lets say he died sober or in the late stages of withdrawal, and bc ghosts cant feel pain in action hes sober

so EVENTUALLY they figure out how to corporealize bc klaus is like blam wham ghost powers

asdlfk that sounds so stupid im sorry

he would say that tho imho,,, it sounds like something hed say,,,

if i DID write this it would be alternating povs also,,,

ok so out of all of them klaus and ben have the most experience homeless

and while being stuck in an apocalypse is not at all the same thing as being homeless it does help to have some knowledge

five doesnt eat the twinkie!! good for him

dammit okay. theres 2 options we can take here. in the comics five couldnt get back bc he fucked up his math and spent 15 years doing the wrong thing, but if u apply that here, with 6 other ppl checking his work this could be avoided and they end up skipping the whole assassin shtick and just hopping straight back to 2019, ready to prevent the apocalypse

OR five still gets hired for the commission but the sibs are tagging along

i think bc five isnt completely alone in this au unfortunately dolores doesnt exist :((

for each other the 2 paths tho theres also options?? bc they (ghosts) can go back in time and inhabit their past selves bodies? OR they could just,,, cease to exist

IM JUST NOW REALIZING HOW MANY PATHS THIS COULD TAKE,, AAH FUCK

okay gonna split this into parts. this is gonna be so long brace yourselves.

1) they go back in time because math checking and the ghosts swap out for their past selves

after multiple years of being stuck in an apocalypse together i think they would learn to get along with each other. like at least a little bit

which would make it easier for them to prevent the apocalypse

bc theyd:

trust each other more

already know abt the apocalypse and not have to wait for five to grace them all with his knowledge

are working as a team from the very beginning

have open lines of communication

yeah uh. so there

vanya is also already aware of her powers so the whole harold goading her into turning against her family and snapping to wipe out all life on earth thing? yeah that doesnt happen

oh and harold wouldn’t know how to do that in the first place because klaus wouldn’t throw out reggie’s journal! this solves so many problems wtf

there’s still commission issues bc they (and by they i mean five) are on the commission’s radar

so there’s still dope fight scenes sdlkfd pinky promise

okay idk. they stop the apocalypse and everything is okay the end hfkjd

2) they fix the math but only five can go back and the ghosts cease to exist

this is just sad! it would be sad okay! im sad! lets move on

subset of the past one: ben CAN go back with five because he was already dead and time travel affects them differently or something idk

aaaaaa

five & ben dynamic duo would be dope as shit BUT five would not be able to see him... so they use klaus as a middleman fjsdsfd

is there 2 bens? is one ben deleted in favor of the time-traveling ben? i dont know! i dont know my brain is melting

either way shit is happening yall!! obviously klaus is clued in, directly or indirectly it doesnt matter but he is on board the ‘don’t let the entire world end in flames’ train

3) they join the commission and then when five goes back in time they all go back

this is fun because now five is a highly trained assassin who is also lowkey a complete marshmallow for his siblings and once again TEAMWORK WOO

basically the first path but now five has a gun fhsdjk

4) they join the commission but five has to leave them behind and they cease to exist

five with a gun but hes sad now

i didnt go into how much losing his siblings would suck in the prev path but like. it would suck so much. he’s already lost them once if you think about it when he time traveled the first time and yeah he found the adult ghost versions but,, its different

and now suddenly hes stuck with these strange adult versions of the people he knows and he KNOWS them but also he doesnt? at all? they dont have all the years of shared experiences together? and theyre all grown up from the first ‘set’ of siblings he had which for five was like 40+ years ago??

SCREAMS

i have losing my mind disease (self-diagnosed)

subset: five has to leave them behind but they still exist because the commission is out-of-time kind of? idk but they’re still floating around somewhere and come back to impact the plot later or something

yeah idk. literally just wrote them down bc i didnt want them to die^2 hfkjwehd

subset: they still exist but instead of being just Somewhere they’re specifically at the assassination of JFK onwards because thats where five left them and they either go on ghosting and make an appearance in s2 OR they cease because them-wise they havent died yet but that doesnt make sense because ghosts can time travel so nevermind

i dont have the brain energy left to explore this one aaaa

okay jesus christ i think that’s all

I DON’T KNOW. i don’t know. i might write some more of this because honestly it is a very fine flavor of angst + hurt/comfort <3

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[abluescarfonwaston]

Only Yours - Bonus

Hey yall. This is a deleted scene from part 3 of Only Yours. Because a few people asked to see this when i complained about deleting it a month ago and cause spielzeugkaiser is a blessing. Enjoy some Jaskier/Priscilla/Valdo hurt/Comfort! NSFW

He was safe in Geralt’s bed. He hadn’t felt safe, truly safe, in a bed since schooling. Since those lazy hours between classes when he and Valdo and Priscilla would lounge over each other working on compositions and half-assing assignments. Singing and playing and arguing and falling over and into each other.

Not loved sex with someone so much since they’d all practiced on each other.

Practiced making Priscilla come with his mouth and hands until she was a contented, sated mess in his arms. Not since he’d nervously gotten on his knees for Valdo and swallowed him down. Not since Valdo had bumped the back of his throat and every muscle had tensed with terror and Valdo had pulled back and Priscilla had held him in her arms until he relaxed and Valdo had walked him through what he could do instead while he calmed down so the lords wouldn’t get testy with him if he panicked.

Because sex was a skill that they all had to master. 

Because they couldn’t afford to disappoint.

Because the people they met out there were unlikely to slow down for untrained gag reflexes and vomiting on someone was a quick way to earn a beating.

Because giving amazing head might make the difference between a satisfied lord and a torn ass when they decided spit counted as lubrication.

He hadn’t felt truly safe in a bed since theirs. They were safe on that tiny mattress to be messy and terrible and imperfect. To try things and not like them and figure out how to push through them when inevitably they occurred while wrapped up in the safety of knowing they could all see the struggle and would help each other through it.

He was safe in their shared bed. Safe to be imperfect.

Like when Priscilla had brought the ropes in. How they’d tied Valdo up first and she’d ordered both of them around and his spine had shivered every time she spoke. How Valdo had gone soft and mellow and content under him as he fucked into him. How Valdo had flown under Priscilla’s guidance and his hands.

It was amazing and beautiful and he wanted to feel that way too.

“How’s that feel?” She asked as he tested the ropes.

“Like I might get rope burn if this goes on too long.” He told her. There wasn’t much give to them. “And given how long Valdo takes to get anything done that might be a problem.”

“I’m not the one with a delicate flower of an ass Jaskier. Maybe if you’d relax this wouldn’t take so long.” Valdo sassed at him as his slicked finger teased his hole.

“Make me you prick.” He challenged. “Not like you don’t enjoy things that are needlessly complicated. I mean that pretentious piece you picked? Over compensating much?”

“Says the man who plays nothing but brothel worthy drivel. Sounds like you need a prick worse than I do.” His finger slipped in just past the first joint and he tensed. Valdo stilled and waited for him.

“Well at this rate it’ll never be yours. Maybe you should spend less time practicing your vocal scales and more on your fingering cause it leaves a lot to be desired.” He pulled on the ropes trying to wiggle to a better position but they didn’t have enough give for him to do much of anything.

“That sounds like an excellent idea Jaskier.” He looked over at her relaxed smile and Valdo sunk in just a fraction. Eased by her confidence. “Valdo why don’t you put that mouth of yours to work.”

Valdo rolled his eyes but obligingly swallowed him down.

Valdo was many things but bad at head was not one of them and he whined and bucked into him with all the slack the ropes gave him.

“No coming yet Jaskier.” She told him and it was very hard to obey when Valdo was moving his tongue like that and-

Valdo pulled off. He sobbed at the betrayal. His wrists and ankles twinging in pain. They definitely needed better ropes or something if they were going to do this more.

“He’s ready.” Valdo said smugly. Fingers curling in him just so and he was straining against the ropes, chasing that last bit of friction he needed to tumble over the edge.

“Perfect.” She leaned over him, stroking his face with just the tips of her fingers, not allowing more. “Can you feel how his fingers are stretching you Jaskier? How big they are?” He clenched around them and whined through a nod. “Do you remember how much bigger his cock is Jaskier? How much wider he’s going to stretch you, how much fuller you’re going to be?” He pushed back trying to press the fingers against that spot again but he couldn’t get the angle right. He did remember. He wanted it so badly.

“Valdo pull out.”

Valdo did. That traitor. Leaving him empty. Horribly achingly empty.

“Jaskier do you know what your job is?” He looked over at her and he shivered at her face. Calm and collected and he knew she was going to take care of him. Take care of everything. He blinked and realized she’d asked a question. He shook his head slowly.

“It’s to lay there and take everything we give you.” He smiled hazily at that. “Because you’re so good at receiving. And it’s going to feel so good as Valdo opens you up and spreads you out around him. And I bet we won’t even have to touch you will we? Because you love making us feel good so much that when Valdo fucks you you’ll come all on your own.”

He nodded at her pretty voice and he was slowly being speared open. “That’s our flower. Opening up so pretty for me. Fuck Jaskier.”

He moved his legs to wrap around Valdo but something tugged at his ankles and he frowned. Priscilla’s face twitched uncertainly and he reached out to hold her but he couldn’t. And there was a slap on his ass as a cock ground into him delivering just a prick of pain.

And he was lying on his back in his family’s stable and his father was screaming his name but he couldn’t get the stable hand off him fast enough and his feet where caught in his pants and the stable hand  was pulling out and running but his father – his father.

His father was grabbing the riding crop “Jaskier,” because it was right there and it hurt so much “Jaskier!” and he couldn’t get away. He knew he couldn’t get away form his Father’s voice screaming those names at him or from the pain and it was exactly what he deserved for what he did-

Water splattered over his face. Valdo. Holding an empty cup. Pale and terrified.

Valdo’s lips moved. The sound reaching him a decade later. “Sorry. Thought it might bring you back to us.”

He rolled onto his side whimpering. Digging his fingers into his arms. The mattress sunk down as Priscilla laid down in front of him. “Can I touch your hair Jaskier?”

He nodded, a sob escaping him as she pet it softly. He leaned into the motion.

“Hip touch?” Valdo asked behind him. He curled tighter. “Arms then?” He nodded. His hand rubbed against his arm. Slowly forcing his fingers away from where they dug into his skin to hold Valdo’s.

“Jaskier?” She asked when his breath didn’t hitch with every gasp. “Can Valdo hold you?”

He nodded and his back was pressed into Valdo’s hairless chest. Wrapped in his gangly arms. His lips pressed to the crook of his ear. “Hold our gal will you? She looks like she needs it.”

He let go of Valdo’s hand and uncurled enough to pull her clothed form to his chest.

“What was it Jaskier?” She asked once he was liquid in their arms. He shook his head.

“Come on little flower. You always open up so pretty.” Valdo whispered into his ear. He shivered.

“I couldn’t hold you.” He told her. “I couldn’t get away.”

“Okay.” She agreed. “We’ll work on it.” Because there was no other option. He had to be able to deal with it. “Later.”

“Thank you.” He muttered. Valdo’s cock was still half hard against his hip. “Wanna finish what you started?”

“Do you?”

He paused. He was safe here. Squished between them on this tiny mattress in Priscilla’s room. “Not really.”

“Then no. I’m good.”

The world outside this room wouldn’t be so kind. Wouldn’t listen when he said no. Because bards were always willing.

Always willing to take no for an answer.

If only the rest of the world was too.

[sunny-jac-blog]

Take It Out On Me (Modern Barlyle)

hey guys! ok so this was originally inspired by a song i love (Take it Out On Me - Florida Georgia Line) but i kinda changed some things around a bit ?? idk have some barlyle ft. nervous kicked puppy phil

also pls don't hate me i love carlwheeler a whole lot but the only way it would make sense and to have them break up pls forgive me (also i am so sorry for not having cuts im only on tumblr mobile love yall sorry for long posts ack)

Word Count: 1.5k

__________________________________

“What’d she do this time?”

Phillip shrugged as he pushed past Phineas, who had been holding his apartment door open. He had been getting a lot of visits from Phillip recently, to talk about Anne, and something she did or said or made him feel. Mostly, they had been good, but recently things had been tense, and Phillip hadn't come to Phineas's apartment in two weeks.

When he saw the tear streaks on Phillip's cheeks, he knew that there was no getting better.

“She-... She broke up with me, Phin. Last week. I tried convincing her we could work through it, but--” He took a deep breath, shaking his head. “She… she said that she would rather end things and go back to being friends. Which I'm fine with, don't get me wrong, I don't care, as long as she's still in my life, but--”

“--You still have feelings for her,” Phineas finished, and sighed. “I'm sorry to hear what happened, Phillip… Why so suddenly?” He glanced over and bit his lip as he walked to the couch, gesturing for Phillip to sit next to him with a sigh. He moved the remote away as the younger man crossed the room, sitting with his arms crossed.

“She told me that she had other things that she needed to focus on first, and she needed to focus on herself more right now. And- And I get that, and I agree, because she's been kinda distant lately, so I'm completely fine with this. It's just… It’s the fact that I can't get over her. I can't get my mind off of her, no matter how hard I try, and I know I shouldn't be upset that we broke up, but… I-I can't help it.” Phillip sighed, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head. He looked up at the ceiling and crossed his legs.

Phineas gulped. He thought for a moment, and shrugged. “Well, Phillip, I… I wish I could say it gets easier, but breakups can be kind of hard…” He sat up, looking at him with a sympathetic smile. “What you need is a distraction. Get some of your friends, go- go on a roadtrip or something, maybe hit a few strip clubs, hook up with someone new. It doesn't have to be a relationship--”

“You know I'm not that kind of man, Phineas,” Phillip sighed. He stood, shaking his head. “This was a mistake, I should go, I'm sorry.”

“Wait, Phillip,” Phineas sighed and stood, tugging his wrist gently. As he looked down at Phillip's wide eyes, he couldn't help but gulp. Phineas found himself taking a slow step forward, sliding his hand down his arm. He chose his next words carefully. He let out a soft breath, and clasped Phillip's hand.

“Let me be your distraction.”

There was a moment of silence. Five seconds. Phillip seemed to be unresponsive, thinking something over. Phineas started to pull his hand away. Phillip gripped it tighter, took his free hand and grabbed Phineas's red t-shirt, and roughly tugged him down into a burning kiss.

Instantly, Phineas's was pulling Phillip closer, one hand on his hip while the other threaded through Phillip's hair. He pulled back from the kiss long enough to look into his eyes, and leaned down, gently kissing Phillip's jaw.

Phillip let out a soft groan, his hands resting on Phineas's chest. “Phineas, what-- What are we doing?” He asked breathlessly, and quickly pulled back, looking up at Phin with a nervous gaze. “...I- I can't do this, not now, I'm sorry,” He whispered, looking at him for a few moments more, before hurrying to the door, quietly closing it behind him.

_______________________________________

The next time Phillip saw Phineas, it was a week later. He hadn't left his apartment since going to Phineas's, and after that kiss, he was terrified. Terrified that Phineas would be pissed at him, terrified that he would get hurt again so soon.

And, most importantly, he was terrified of how the kiss had made him feel. For that brief moment, the kiss made him feel as if he was on top of the world, all thoughts of Anne vanished from view. Truth be told, he couldn't stop thinking about it, about him. Phineas was on his mind when he woke, and was the last thought Phillip had when he drifted off to sleep.

He had been writing non-stop since the kiss, and now had five drafts for five different “stories” that would never be seen by the public. That morning, around four a.m., he opened a new document on Google docs, shaking as he typed.

‘His lips were a blazing fire, leaving me burned in their tracks. He had caused me so many feelings that I knew I couldn't deny, and while intoxicated under his kiss, I was powerless. Even now as I lie awake, my mind goes back to the one encounter we shared, and I feel all over again. I love him.’

He stared at the words on the screen. Slowly, he deleted the last three words of the paragraph, shut his laptop, placed it off to the side, and went to bed.

_______________________________________

When they finally saw each other again, it was a chance encounter. Phillip had been at a coffee shop alone, staring at his laptop as he attempted to read through some critic's views about his latest published work. Since quitting the play scene and joining Phineas's lesser known entertainment company, Phillip hadn't been doing much writing, but that had all changed recently. He scoffed as he read a particularly harsh line, glancing up as the door opened.

When he saw Phineas walk in, he froze. Phin glanced around, spotting him and hesitating before walking over. He sat in the seat in front of Phillip, gulping. ”Phillip, we need to talk.”

One. Two. Three.

When phillip opened his eyes again and saw Phineas there still, he nodded and rubbed his forehead. There was no way he could run away now- he had to figure out this mess.

“Can we talk somewhere private?” Phillip asked with a sigh, standing. “My apartment is a few blocks away. Let's go.”

The walk there was silent. Phillip refused to speak, and Phineas didn't know what to even begin to say. Once at the building, Phillip walked inside, gesturing for Phineas to follow. He walked to the elevator quickly, before going to the eighth floor.

His apartment was neat. Stylized. It was decorated in shades of gold, red, black and white, and looked extremely classy. Phineas didn't know what he expected, but it wasn't that.

And he surely didn't expect Phillip to push him against the door, pull him down, and kiss him.

He had no complaints about either realization.

As he kissed back, Phineas wrapped his arms around Phillip's waist, pulling him closer. Phillip ran his hands through Phineas's hair, down his sides, up his arms- he wouldn't stop touching him, as if he were making sure that he was even real.

Phineas slowly pulled back from the kiss and took Phillip's fidgety hands, looking down at him. “Is- Is everything alright?” He asked softly.

“I couldn't stop thinking about you. I shouldn't have left, Phin, I--... I'm sorry,” Phillip murmured as he looked up at him. He looked almost vulnerable. Like he was afraid that Phineas would laugh in his face and leave.

“Phillip,” Phineas started, gently cupping his cheek. “you don't have to apologize. I understand.”

“I know, it’s just- I don't know, you make me nervous.” Phillip mumbled. He slowly walked to the couch and sat down, and Phineas followed. Phillip could've sworn to see a smirk on his face, and he gently whacked his shoulder, rolling his eyes. “Don't laugh at me, Phin.”

“What- I'm not laughing! I'm not laughing,” He smiled at Phillip, rubbing his shoulder. “Don't hit me.”

“I can hit you if I want to hit you!”

“Phillip. You're the size of a kitten.”

“I hate you.”

“They why did you kiss me, hm?”

Phillip started to respond, but he groaned and rubbed his forehead, a slight grin on his face. “Will you shut up? I kissed you because-... Because, I, uh… I like you, I think.”

“Well, it's about damn time,” Phineas murmured, grinning as he pulled Phillip closer. At this point, Phillip wa as almost on top of him. Phillip cupped his cheek and leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips, before pulling back with a wide grin.

Phineas raised a brow. He smiled up at him, resting his hands on Phillip's waist. “What's that grin for, hm? Are you planning something?”

“...Does your offer still stand?”

“My- My offer?”

Phillip looked up at him and smirked softly. He leaned in closer, their lips barely touching, his fingers playing with the hem of Phineas's shirt as he whispered, “Will you be my distraction, Phin?”

Phineas only chuckled and pulled him in for a deeper kiss, deciding that maybe he could get used to this.

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @aubzylynn for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Aubrey, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

I think I was 12. My best friend at the time and I wrote Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings fanfic. We also put ourselves into the stories as OCs. I also wrote for Full Metal Alchemist, InuYasha, I also had my own HP fics, and I think I even had an Eregon oneshot at some point when I started lol. I’m confident there’s more, but it’s been such a long time.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I actually really enjoy both. Like, with reader inserts, I can inject a lot of my (or my friends) quirks and fears and insecurities into the reader and get messages back from readers saying that they really connected with the story or the reader. And OC’s are always fun because they have their own personality and it’s fun for me to figure out who they are.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Fluffffffff. Yall know I can’t write a story without a happy ending.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

Surprisingly, I don’t think I have one. They’re all fine. I wish I had time to go through and kind of update a few of them, but there’s not really any that I’m super embarrassed by.

5) When is your preferred time to write?

First thing in the morning. Right after I wake up. It doesn’t happen very often, but it’s easiest then. I’m not bogged down by my jobs or my brain. It’s easiest to get into a good headspace.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Usually from Sarah or other friends–the stories they tell, the things I read or see.

7) What’s your favorite scene that you’ve written?

Hmm..there’s a scene in my 40’s series that I’m pretty proud of. The reader, Bucky, and Steve are all reunited at long last and it’s really sweet and I dunno I really just love it.

But, if we’re going off of fics that I’ve posted…this is probably going to sound so bad, but the Kennedy assassination in Control was interesting to write. I actually watched old news footage of it. The chaos, the panic, the craziness, and then having her reunite with the Soldier and there’s a little spark is just ugh. It’s one of my favorites.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Not yet. Luckily, my followers and readers have been incredibly kind. I’ve never really had any hate or criticism for my stories.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

This should be easy to tell, but it’s Bucky. Lol He’s got such an interesting depth and so many layers and I know I always write him so soft and loving but I also love to read fics where he’s the Soldier and the ones that explore the different sides of him. Someday I want to write those different shades of Bucky.

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

I don’t have a whole lot of experience writing a lot of the characters, so I can’t really pick one. It feels unfair. I would like to write more for other characters to be a stronger author and to have some variety.

11) How do you come up with the titles for your stories?

I’m so unoriginal when it comes to titles, tbh. Like, my most creative one was Nomonakalo and that’s literally because I was looking for ��apocalypse” in Xhosa. But I didn’t like any of the translations for “apocalypse” so I looked up synonyms until I landed on “devastation,” and here we are. The others, are song titles, like Control. And some are a word or two about the story, like Midnight Snack, or Partner.

12) What do you think is the best idea you’ve had for a story so far?

Nomonakalo is the best idea I’ve ever had. I hope to continue it someday even though it didn’t get a lot of love. I also have a Princess Bride au on ice in the back of my brain that I’m pretty sure is gonna be fantastic.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Oh god so many. My poor babies. I’m not inspired by the request or they’ve gotten to be too big for me to handle.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

Maybe Partner or Blind Date. Or even a sequel to Cuddle Drabbles, but the focus would be on Steve instead. I’ve been playing with the ideas of a Steve Cuddle Drabbles for a really long time.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Road to Schkeuditz. I hated that it ended so angsty. I wanted to do more, but I didn’t know the timeline and when Bucky would wake up. But I think I might write a little something someday about the reader visiting him in Wakanda after he’s healed.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

I have so, so many, but I’m gonna do the first three that came to mind.

I admire @sarahwroteathing. I know she’s my best friend, but guys. G u y s. Sarah’s so talented. I admire her work ethic and how hard she works on her stories. Soundtrack has been giving her grief for over a year, and she’s still working on it. It’s still one of the best stories I’ve ever read and it amazes me how much care she puts into her writing.

@soldatbarnes is also another great friend and amazing author. I also love how she perseveres through her tough times. She amazes me. I’ll see her posts about not being inspired to write, or wishing she had more time to do so, and then she’ll come out with an amazing story that’s beautifully written. She’s incredible.

@bitsandbobsandstuff is fucking phenomenal. I love her writing. It’s so in depth and wonderfully crafted. I aspire to be as amazing as she is.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

I’m probably gonna get hate for this, but i can’t reread the Cuddle Drabbles. It’s my first time writing and posting for the MCU and I can tell. It’s cringey to me. But I get such sweet messages about it every now and again, and I can’t bring myself to change it.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

I do it both ways. Sometimes a focus playlist is needed and other times my brain can’t think if there’s any noise. Just depends on what it is.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Yep. Chin Up, Princess made me cry. It was what I needed someone to say to me, and having it come from Tony just made me more emotional than I had anticipated.

20) Which part of your fics have been the hardest to write?

I overthink action scenes. I struggle with thinking it sounds forced or unorganic, sometimes.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

Umm both. I make an outline just to know where I’m going, but sometimes it diverges because it’ll flow a different way while I’m writing it.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?

How addicting the praise can be, and sometimes it doesn’t seem like enough. I love getting sweet messages more than I could ever attempt to tell you.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Yes. Nomonakalooooooooo. My poor baby. I worked the hardest on it and it has the least amount of notes of any of my fics.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

No, not really. Sometimes, I’ll see someone start the Cuddle Drabbles or Road to Schkeuditz and I’ll think “oh here we go, they’re gonna flood my notifications with likes” but I mean that’s the most that happens lol

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Um, a few. But, it’s pretty minor. The reader in A December Deception has some of Sarah’s mannerisms, and Morgan in Handsome Stranger is basically my friend Morgan. I have an OC in my 40’s series based on my friend Cassidy, and the reader’s best friend in a wedding fic is essentially Sarah. (I mean, she’s marrying Steve. How could I not make her the bride? Lol)

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Sarah called Nomonakalo “emotionally excellent” and I still haven’t recovered from it. She sent me an email responding to everything. It was practically an essay. I still reread it when I feel like quitting.

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

“The reader says ‘dude’ too much,” and “focus more on Bucky’s feelings.” I don’t really get a whole lot of negative feedback.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Sarah and Cassidy are pretty much the people I’ll run to. But, I will keep them close to my chest if I’m not sure I want to proceed with the story or not.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

Some do, yeah. My friend Ashlee actually found some of my writing and actually read it. I wasn’t prepared for that. It’s unclear if my family knows that I still do, but they definitely knew that I did when I was a kid.

30) What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?

Probably Sam in Road to Schkeuditz. I had a lot of fun with him!

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Feedback. It really does keep me going. Seeing others enjoying what I’m writing about keeps me motivated to finish a story.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

So, after deliberation with Sarah, I’ve realized that I don’t have a favorite to write. I haven’t written enough to really have a favorite!

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

The first fic ever? No. God no. I can’t remember. It was probably my friend’s HP fanfic. I can remember the first fic I read for supernatural was from Mimi, and the first from the MCU was from Tesla. But I don’t remember what the stories were.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Fluff. Always fluff. I can’t have a story end on a sad or bad note. It always has to have a happy ending.

[groundramon]

Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet

PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here!  I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)

EP 1:

- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing.  ok. alright. cool.  Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.

- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon.  just saying.

- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get

- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like.  They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)

- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY

EP 2:

- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality.  I don’t feel real right now

- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish.  This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.

- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)

EP 3:

- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids.  What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them

- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him.  I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet.  No seriously, look:

I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is.  Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry

- ordinemon has the best reaction faces

the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one.  They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.

- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like

she did kinda like.  Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed.  The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it.  Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now

EP 4:

- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened

- Cant believe mei is fucking dead

EP 5:

- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me.  alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible.  Fucking extra ass bitch

- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details

Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected.  Was very invested during it.  ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn’t working out.  Where are the 02 kids.  You should’ve brought them in to save the day.  That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun.  Fucking cowards.

god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps.  Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M

DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK

anyways my problems:

1. They did joe. really dirty.  I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development.  He’s basically an entirely different person.  Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe.  He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.

2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE.  The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back.  They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei???  Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much.  It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters.  Whatever.  AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk?  This entire time???  Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends???  Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried.  Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao.  God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely.  Would I have still been bitter?  Yes.  But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.

3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise.  It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults.  These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining.  They do not work when placed into an adult setting.  Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world?  I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like.  Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure.  It doesn’t work.  Digimon Tri is basically that except real.  Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.

I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience.  It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that.  Like!  Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL.  Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life.  I want bad puns and emotional characters.  That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be.  Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars.  It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better.  You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”

It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead.  If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series.  Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS.  I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri?  But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish.  Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies.  Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.

I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit.  I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons.  It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments.  If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it.  It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept.  And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.

Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up.  It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.

I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon.  It raises interesting questions about the timeline too.  We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project?  (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over)  But what about Diaboromon?  I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well.  Could Diaboromon still be out there too?  It’s interesting.

However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction.  Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...

Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil?  Like ?  That’s a pretty important thing.  The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02.  And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still.  It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened)  MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so.  God there’s just.  So much wrong with Tri.  I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.

It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care.  There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me.  I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.

[segadores-y-soldados]

Fic Updates

Hola, hola!

This here is JUST the fic update information for my fics “Old Habits” and “New Wars” (aka the “And Overwatch For All” series).  The short version goes like this:

Moira has been integrated into the overarching plot of “And Overwatch For All”

All the OCs have survived.  Or well.  They survived only to die.  You get what I mean.

Major changes have occurred to Gabriel/Reaper’s backstory.  This is the big one that is causing me to take the time to rework things.

Because of this, I am currently rewriting major portions of Old Habits.  Yesterday, I finished a major rewrite of chapter 10 (the “evil council is introduce” chapter).  I have the majority of chapter 11′s rewrite done and hope to finish that today as well.  With luck, I will start working on a rewrite of Chapter 13.

Shockingly, I’m keeping a lot of the “present day” plot elements the same (aka, all the stuff leading up to Recall), with minor changes to the Eichenwalde battle to fit in “Honor and Glory.”

More under the cut!

For those of your who have been waiting patiently for information on “And Overwatch for All” I do have some good news that I’m finally ready to share:

Moira has been integrated into the plot.

I got a number of comments here and on twitter that were really supportive of my current version of “AOFA” and I just want to say, thank you all so much.  It means a lot to me that you guys have liked the version of Overwatch I’ve built up and that you found all the characters, including my silly OCs, to be engaging and well-written.  It was soul-crushing to think I would have to lose some of them, but after some time and doing more research on Moira, I feel ready to talk more about her and how she’s going to factor into the updated plot.

To start off with:

None of the OCs will be cut, but some of their roles will change.

Lmao, this surprised me as well, but I’ve figured out a few different ways to make all of the OCs, especially the very obviously contrived “Death Agents,” stick around in the updated plot.

Only one OC (and you can probably guess who, if you’ve started “New Wars”) will change names: the character called “Reaper” in “New Wars Chapter 1″ (the “young Hanzo chapter”) will be called “Reaver.”  This is due to his updated role in the plot.  His background has changed only slightly.

If it wasn’t apparent, this “Reaper” was meant to act as a plot device to cause confusion over Gabriel/Reaper’s actions after the fall of Overwatch, but that has changed because:

I’m switching to Crisis-era and “undercover mercenary” Reaper.

THIS ISN’T A SPOILER FOR MY OWN STUFF, I PROMISE.

This is revealed as early as Old Habits “revised chapter 2.”

If you’ve read some of my more recent posts on Moira, you’ll know that I’ve switched over to supporting the idea that “something went wrong with Gabriel Reyes during SEP/the Crisis.”  This is due to the fact that you can find a folder labeled “Soldier ID: 24″ in Moira’s Oasis lab, that Michael Chu said that Reyes was interested in getting her help on “matters of genetics,” and that this appears to mesh the “Reaper has existed for decades” concept in Reaper’s hero profile.

Truth be told, I’ve actually been a supporter of this idea of “Gabriel has been Reaper behind the scenes for decades” plot point for a long, long time, almost as long as I’ve been posting Old Habits.  “Reaper”/“Reaver” was semi-messy OC that attempted to bridge Reaper’s original hero profile with the “Old Soldiers” explanation that Gabriel/Reaper gave that “Jack and Overwatch ‘left [him] to suffer.’”  However, I also knew when writing Old Habits that the “Mercy is evil” theory was ALSO not true, so I was kinda stuck:

“If Gabriel = Reaper for decades, why did he appear to blame Jack and Overwatch for his current condition?”

My original solution was to make “Reaper” a different character and have him operating the situation in the background (like a mystery story), but over time this solution got trickier and trickier to work with.  With Moira, I have a chance to rework much of Old Habits/AOFA to better suit some of the details that have come out since drafting it.

This does mean, unfortunately, that all the “76+127″ content is going to become its own, standalone series.

To switch over to integrating “Soldier: 24,” the “76+127″ stories will have to become their own standalone series.  Don’t worry - I’m not deleting anything.  Old content from “Old Habits” will be moved to their own fics, so you can read the whole thing in chronological order.

A new version of my updated ideas on SEP has already started being drafted.  Writing it out is just a matter of time at this point, haha.

The conspiracy/Talon council “mysteries” will become more transparent almost immediately.

With Moira, I finally get the chance to explore some of my ideas in “full format” instead of the kinda awkward “Sombra hacking a chat log” parts yall originally got.  This DOES mean that written portions will suddenly be much, MUCH longer.  For example:

Old Habits original chapter 10 (Sombra hacks an SSO chat log): 17 pages

Old Habits revised chapter 10 (Moira discusses the Route 66 battle with council members + Sombra hacks a chat log): closer to 34 pages

The explosion fight has been changed.

Because of the changes to Gabriel’s plot, the nature of the explosion fight between him and Jack has changed significantly.  It does incorporate new information that Moira revealed.

If it wasn’t obvious, I’ve had a draft version of my ideas for the fight sitting in GDocs for about a year now, and I use that for all my flashback/memories, and also for when Reaper and Soldier: 76 are arguing in the present.  There was a major plot point in the explosion fight that I was extremely uncomfortable with, but found it to be “solid angst material.”  In retrospect, I dislike this plot point and have removed it for another plot point that sits better with me, and fits the overall story more comfortably (I think).

So yes, I DO have a new draft of the explosion fight - written completely from scratch, 100% different in tone and emotionality.  Parts of this should begin to show in updates to Chapter 13, when Soldier: 76/Jack reflects on some of the fight.

The Goal:

The goal for AOFA right now is to update Old Habits in “two big batches” - update the first half (Chapters 1 - 15) within 1 - 2 weeks, and then update the second half (Chapters 16 - 31) shortly after.  Optimistically, before January, but realistically, closer to late-January/early-February.

I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to notify people of changes to an AO3 chapter that’s already posted...through AO3, so for now, please keep and eye on my tumblr and twitter accounts, where I will start linking to updated/changed chapters there.  I will likely also put up a “placeholder chapter” on “New Wars” with all this information, where you can find links to updated chapters in both “Old Habits” and “New Wars,” but if anyone has better suggestions, I’m all ears.

Thank you all so much for your patience!  I hope I can start putting up some of these changed chapters soon!

[cezulian]

ok ok so on that topic about the boys becoming functioning members i have (bit tmi sorry) i know my dad used to be unsettingly similar to patrick in pretty much every way as a kid including the solipsism and thinking he was god and the only real thing (minus the straight up murder and groping/molesting cuz that was against The Rules according to him) when i was super duper little and then after i was born he got decent therapy and also medication and is now one of the sweetest and kindest (1/2)

“(2/2) people i know and treats everyone mostly well (now hes kinda just a sarcastic asshole sometimes, tho he can get a bit scary when really provoked) and if the boys also recieved decent help they would for sure have been pretty much full functioning people and even possibly good people with families and tbh, id like to see some people write that because those boys deserve it as people with psychosis very frequently if given help do get better my dad and myself included!!”

That’s great, I’m so happy for you and your dad! I’ll always firmly support destigmatizing therapy and taking medication as treatment options, so thank you for being willing to share your personal experiences!

One of the reasons I didn’t answer that previous question with a firm “yeah, totally, it’ll be fine!” Though, is because I didn’t want it to seem like I was implying that Psychopathy or antisocial traits are a thing that need to be “cured”, just like something like Autism doesn’t need to be “cured”, it just needs to have some aspects of it managed in a manner seen fit by healthcare professionals and the individual dealing with it. You can’t cure a person of who they are, like trust me, if I could I’d have done it for myself by now lmao.

But I also don’t want to discount Henry or Patrick’s past experiences, because I know I mentioned that if they’d had the opportunity to be raised in entirely different situations but otherwise remained the same, everything could have played out well for them but the initial question was if they would be able to receive treatment as teenagers in the movie universe. I don’t know what your dad might have been through or how he might have grown up, and you certainty aren’t obligated to tell me, but one huge part of what makes therapy help is actually wanting to be helped, and I think that where they were in the canon would make getting to that point a real piece of work. You have Patrick, who’s convinced that he’s fine and then you have Henry, who is far too insecure about even thinking about the idea that he has feelings to consider talking about them with some stranger that thinks they know everything or thinks they’re better than him (which is probably what he’d say) and you put on top of that that they’re both teenage boys, a species known for communicating chiefly in grunts and “I dunno”s and the occasional “yeah sure”. Patrick, I know, would probably either say whatever he felt he was supposed to to be able to leave, would refuse to say anything and perceive that as a power move, or on the complete flipside of the situation, would find out that he could talk about anything (except his refrigerator and Avery of course because a therapist would be obligated to report that) and at least gain some kind of catharsis from being able to overshare like he wants to, though I do think he’d have some serious trouble with removing his filter of “I’m gonna deconstruct your bullshit every time you open your mouth to try and figure out how I can take back the power in this situation and then I’m gonna act like your favorite boy and you wont even know, you idiot” because it’d just sort of be going through the motions for him at that point but yeah. It’d depend a lot on them and how fuckin excellent this therapist was. The real problem-solver for Patrick, at least, I think would be to get his parents in there. Not with him, that’d be a shit show, but just after learning enough about Patrick to feel the need to explore what aided in bringing him to this point. Butch needs his own fuckin therapist. I won’t even get into that.

I do, though, I totally believe that they could be, as you said, functioning or even beneficial members of society if they were given help, attention, and love. I also think that their symbiosis that functions on a darker level presently could be developed into a level of closeness and understanding that a neurotypical probably couldn’t understand, in whatever form of a relationship you believe that would take, and would overall become something healthy that they would be thankful for. But since you mentioned them getting jobs and all, I’m curious what you or anyone reading this thinks Henry would go into if he could in this scenario? Would it be a career or just a job doing something he likes? Would it be a hobby turned into a job? What makes him happy about it? We don’t know much about Henry’s interests from the book besides cool jackets and rock and roll (but who doesn’t like those things) and in the movie all we know is that he’s into monster trucks but the only reason we know that is from a deleted scene in two scripts where it talks about the posters on his wall. I’ll look into his character a little more too and see if I can’t find something I think he’d like, but I’m curious to know what yall think.

I personally have always believed (and can believe it for the movie universe too, since that’s what we’re talking about) that Patrick would be some kind of artist, if he could. I have all kinds of artist Patrick headcanons that I’ve talked about with @nicholashamilton that I won’t go into on this post but I think that’d be great for him and already comes pretty naturally, but I feel like book Patrick and movie Patrick would have very different attitudes towards getting paid for it.

Anyway, thank you for sharing, again. Not a lot of people take these kinda of things seriously because “they’re just characters” or whatever, which is true, but I think its important to know that the things these characters are dealing with (particularly characters who are violent and play antagonistic roles) are not only very real but don’t make anyone in real life dealing with them bad people because of them. So much is environmental, but its all real shit, yo.