#i felt so embarrassed when i got delegated to 2nd violin in chamber orchestra but i just rolled with it because i was so burnt out
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it's so ridiculous what my unmedicated ass was expected to pull off from middleschool to highschool. i was constantly bumbling around but no one wanted to consider that maybe i needed adderall. all teenagers should be given the opportunity to try adderall and see if that fixes things for them. or at least makes things easier
#/hyperbole#just mourning the years i got like zero help#i really cant believe that mom and teachers just saw me decline and thought it was solely teenage apathy and Disdain for authority#and it's like. no .. i was in survival mode#i felt so embarrassed when i got delegated to 2nd violin in chamber orchestra but i just rolled with it because i was so burnt out#2nd violin is like. actually harder imo. 1st violin is carried by memorable lead melodies while 2nd has to focus on counter melodies#but youre really like. not really allowed to shine it felt like#our orchestra teacher seemed annoyed with me for not doing extra orchestra field trips and not 'putting in effort' when its like. girl -#-i'm drowning. i got out of an emotionally abusive relationship and the worst 2 years of my life#plus my relationship with my mom getting severely damaged. sorry im not practicing for orchestra
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