#i feel weird agreeing. bc i feel like everyone around me disagrees.

[legendoftherisingtide]

ask any country that’s been/is under a dictator and they’ll tell you why censorship never fucking ends at “just the bad stuff”.

Ao3 is actually massively culturally important and very very good at being what it is. I’m so serious when I say that ao3 needs to be protected as the anti censorship, by fans for fans, nonprofit, volunteer run, expertly designed archival site that it is. You don’t have to read or like fanfiction to understand that on principle, ao3 is a site that should be defended.

[catusbeanius]

GUESS WHAT I GOT!!! STITCH LILIA!!!

I had saved up 160 pulls this year just for that card!! (20 single keys, 8 tenfold keys and 1900 gems that i never used) He came home in 80 pulls BD

I also got Ace's Dorm Uniform at 30 pulls and Rook's Dorm Uniform at 100 (I wanted to see if I'd get Lilia's Stitch/Dorm Uniform) So, I'm only missing Cater, Epel, and Ruggie to complete those dorms!! Fun fact, I'm not Rook's biggest fan. BUT WAIT!! I still appreciate his character, dwdw. Time to yap about Rook rq

One interesting thing about him is that he doesn't really fit the NRC vibes, imo. Everyone else is kinda believable to meet. You don't exactly meet stalkers every day. Tbf, you don't meet prince dragon-fae guys every day either, but you'll meet loners with a non-typical family. Ig, by that logic, you could say Rook's hunter/stalker-ness is his unrealistic part, but I feel like it's too major to just brush off.

Same kinda goes with Floyd, but I don't dislike him. Weirdly enough, I probably should hate him because I've been chased around like Riddle is and I hated it.

Hmmmmm....

Oh, also, they (Idr who in particular, I think it was Ridde or Ace) called Lilia horrible to be in an emergency with and I both agree and disagree.

On one hand, I've been in semi-emergencies and hated it when people weren't taking it seriously (mostly bc ik I'd be the one responsible and it feels like they're not respecting my panic smh) but, also, Lilia is a trained warrior. Ofc, they don't know that. Also, I think Lilia has a tendency to overestimate humans. At the same time, I think he's learned enough to estimate them better. I say them like I'm not a person too, smh /j

Completely off topic, but I almost died last night watching the mv for Risky Venus. At the end, they were all facing the right, but Niki was facing the left and it killed me. I wheezed and then I couldn't breathe so I had to cough. Risky Penis almost killed me :'( (I'm pretty sure there's something weird with my lungs, but it hasn't killed me yet soooooooooo)

Anyway, that's all my twst yapping for today. I almost forgot, HAPPY PRIDE!!!!

I will say, though, the main reason I haven't made posts is because I don't have any comments on enstars (I almost got a perfect combo on enthralling theater though!! I also read hot limit and that was crazy) and I've been doing more oc stuff!! Do you wanna hear about it?? Too late, I'll yap rq

Not going too far into detail, but I've been calling it my oc gladiator battles (very misleading name, there's no gladiator battles in sight) and it started bc i watched someone bitch about high guardian spice (in 2024??? crazy) and was mildly inspired to make a shitpost. It has pretty much nothing to do with hgs, but I take a bit of inspiration!! As well as inspo from pretty much everything else I've consumed. I just wanted a highstakes comedy (which negates the highstakes, but it'll still be compelling. idk why I'm pitching this, I'm not doing anything fancy with it) with convoluted stories like enstars (if you don't know enstars, one group is literally a dude in disguise, an assassin, a king, and a chef who might be a cannibal. It's crazy. Another is a dude who lives in the walls, a fanboy, the king's little brother, and a priest. I love them all <3) I've also given them all nicknames which is really funny. So far, I have catboy (Cálictos), organ boy (Corgandry), blueberry headmaster/principal (Prof. Shrub), and goldfishie (has nothing to do with riddle, i just found a bunch of stock photos of fish. also, he has no name. I made him last night) and a couple other conceptual characters like a shady business guy that gives you discounts if you do sidequests.

lmk if you want more yapping about them!! Once again, happy pride!!

[fagbearentertainment]

Kaito is supposed to be satire on shounen protagonists but they forgot the satire part

He's constantly making Shuichi do all the work and then trying to take credit for everything which is like. so fucking annoying. Not too bad though, if it was just that I wouldn't hate him

In ch4 Kaito throws a temper tantrum bcs Shuichi disagreed with him and agreed with Kokichi (the horrors!!) and their friendship is strained but fsr the game wants me to believe they're both at fault here????? Like what?????? I need you to understand - Kaito was incorrect in the trial. Being incorrect means death for everyone. Why am I supposed to think that Shuichi was in the wrong for saying the truth? Just bcs Kaito doesnt like it? Get over yourself you self centered asshole everyone almost DIED bcs of you you should be APOLOGIZING

Then SHUICHI tries apologizing to HIM but Kaito refuses to talk to him???? Does this count as guilt tripping I can't tell

Like. "How dare you disagree with me? I won't talk to you again until I need your help, making you feel even worse for disagreeing with me" feels kinda. suspicious

Not to mention that the nickname "sidekick" implies that Shuichi is inherently lesser than Kaito

And then there's Maki!!!

In chapter 3, he started harassing her bcs he decided he knows what's best for her and refuses to take no for an answer. Off to a great start!

She finally goes along with his bullshit. She makes it very obvious she does not want to be there. He keeps dragging her back anyway. fun stuff

So her character development sucks but I can't tell if that's a Kaito sucks issue or a the writers suck issue but basically she becomes a lot more emotional and a lot more murderous and everyone's just. Okay with that

So in chapter 5 she starts strangling Kokichi for no reason in particular and Kaito tells her to stop. but like. His reason why she should stop is so weird ? It's not "Killing is wrong", it's "Monokuma wants us to kill each other". I swear, it's like he doesnt think of Kokichi as a person so it's okay to kill him or something. I'm supposed to root for this guy?

One last thing I'll mention is innnnnnnnnnnn chapter 2. When everyone finds the flashback light. Everyone gives very good and logical reasons why using these things isn't a good idea but then Kaito's like "Yea but we cant move forward w/o taking risks :)" and everyone except Kokichi comes around. (Kichi does stay but he makes it very clear he still thinks this is a bad idea) Like what the fuck happened here

And all of this would've been fine if he was properly called out for his bullshit!! But he wasn't!!!!! The narrative wants you to unconditionally love him, even though he loves his friends conditionally. Hilarious how that works

I think there was also some other smaller things that build up but I can't remember rn. It's been a hot second since I last booted the game lol

~the bigender Charlie anon

—————————————————————————

I don’t remember a whole lot of character dialogue from drv3 aside bc it’s my least favorite on the trilogy but yikes. he’s WAY WORSE than I remember lol

[golbrocklovely]

I’ll get a lot of hate for this but..colby seems like a player (fuck boy) to me..i don’t know..the things he do to shea (makes her feel some type of way) then he push her away..the same happened with stas, he was so touchy with her and then pushed her away..i know she was in love with him 100% but that’s not a reason to push every girl from him away when this happens and he wonders why he is always alone? and there’s alot of girls he did that to. Yeah i know, not everyone wants a relationship but that guy cry that he doesn’t have a gf or something like that but fucks around with others. I like sam better in this perspective..tbh.. sometimes i don’t really understand colby..also their content and everyone is only for money rn..that’s how i see it. I remember in like 2016-2019 they were responding to alot of fans on ig etc etc..i feel like everyone is about money right now..

Btw thanks for reading that. Also it doesn’t mean hate on anyone but yk..

you are not the only person to have sent in an ask like this to me over the years. so, you're not the only one that feels this way.

that being said, i do not agree with you.

now, did colby in the past maybe fuck around with some girls? sure. he definitely had a bit of a player history. but, you also then have to believe that every girl he was around was someone he was hooking up with/had a relationship with in some way. and that's just not true. reality is, we don't know reality. what we are going off of is our assumptions. not every girl he was around at one point or another was a girl he was hooking up with. it's honestly kinda strange to assume that this man can't have a friendship with a woman without there being some weird connotation of "oh he actually wants her" or "she wants to get with him" or "he clearly wants to fuck her". not saying you're implying that, i'm just stating generally.

shea and him have a complicated thing that i don't think we will ever know the real, full story to. but at the end of the day, regardless of what you believe, they are both grown adults. if they wanted to have a relationship, they would have had one by now. shea is almost 30. she's is too grown to blame colby (if she really does that at all) for stringing her along. if he's promising you the world, but going out with other girls, he's a liar. you should have left a long time ago. but clearly either a) that's not happening or b) you are forcing yourself to believe something that isn't real. and that's your own fault, not his. that doesn't excuse his possible stringing along-ness, but he can't do that to you if you already left 🤷🏻‍♀️

and as for stas… he never treated her more than in a friendly way. sorry if you disagree, but i saw not one single thing that pointed to them having anything more than maybe a slightly flirty/touchy friendship. the reason why she got so hurt over it was bc she had feelings for him, he didn't reciprocate, and bc she thought she could make him like her, she stuck around in her fantasy too long. that man literally brought along a date to hang out with her and other friends. what about that screams "oh he's into me, he just doesn't know how to express it"????? that man made it clear as day what his feelings were, she just didn't listen.

none of this even takes into account that both girls have used colby for YEARS to gain followers, clout, and to make money off of his fans that become theirs. like…. that's it's own can of worms.

and he has EVERY. RIGHT. to reject girls that love him too much bc if he's not into them, why should he pretend to be??? you literally are saying he's a fuckboy for stringing them along, but then complain that he shouldn't say he's lonely bc "he pushes them away". so… is he supposed to pretend to like them and string them along, or cut them loose but still get blamed for being lonely?? which one is it?

he's allowed to have standards or not just settle with the first girl that shows emotional attachment to him. that's not how love works. and on top of that, he's allowed to complain about wanting someone to love but not having someone even tho he has plenty of suitors. reality is, colby has outwardly said for a very long time that he hasn't met someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with. he has made that clear as day for YEARS now. and also for years he has said he hasn't been in a serious relationship since 2016. if this is what he says publicly to fans, i can only imagine he lays it out thicker privately. that would also mean that any girl he has been with was never serious in the first place. aka, there were no feelings attached. so when things ended, it's not a breakup. it's just two ppl who were casually seeing each other leaving and finding someone else. that doesn't negate that he probably had used a girl from time to time for emotional support or whatever. i'm not saying that's not true. but the fact of the matter is, there has been ONE GIRL that i can name that has outright had an issue with colby after "breaking up" with him. and collectively, out of the many everyone assumes he's been with, that kinda shows that maybe he is telling the truth to these girls about what he wants. bc if he was burning bridges left and right, he would have been up in flames by now.

and sam literally just got out of a relationship where he strung kat along for years, mentioning talks of getting married, how his last name sounds good with her first, only to turn around and get cold feet when the ultimatum came. not to mention the vampire situation (him purposefully keeping her out of the editing room while he was working and all she wanted to do was hang out), him not even giving her a key to his house in la even tho she was over every single day, him now currently mentioning how he didn't really hang out with her all that much the last year of their relationship and how he could have been better, him not sharing his calendar with her so she would never know when he was leaving or going, him literally telling fans in emails how so much better he's doing now that he's not in a relationship with her anymore, her literally getting death threats by HIS FANS and he says literally nothing about it…. need i go on? he's not exactly star bf of the year either.

and as for the whole thing of "they only do things for money now"…. that's kinda always been the case. this is their job. they need to do things for money to survive. not to mention, they have grown exponentially since that time period of 2016-19. just based on subs alone, and nothing else, they have the combined population of nyc and philly. that's how many eyes are on them at any given point. obviously there is some overlap between different social media sites, but they have 10 mil+ eyes on them, which means 10 mil+ ppl trying to get their attention at any given point. they can't talk to everyone like they used to. when they were at one mil or two, sure. talking to ppl wasn't too hard, but now it's basically impossible. and on top of that they are busy so they don't have time to interact like they once did. it sucks, but that's just the truth.

i get why you felt the need to say all of this, and even tho i don't agree with you, i'm not trying to be hateful or mean. i'm just stating how i feel to your ask. please don't take any of this personally. i don't think you're dumb for the opinion you have, even if it's different from mine. we are allowed to have differing opinions, and we can just agree to disagree.

[menlove]

„but demisexuality for example is just quite literally not Feeling sexual feelings/urges towards someone At All until you're incredibly close to them. you don't fantasize about strangers or celebraties or get turned on by people you find hot. you're functionally asexual until you get to know someone and develop feelings for them. and even after that it's gonna work differently than it does for an allosexual partner.“ thing is. I get this, I do. Because that’s me. But on the other hand, this is almost everyone I know as well who is afab. And based on my experience, I’m convinced that if you would look at statistics of demisexuality, you’d find that there’s a big overlap with afabs. And yeah this is anecdotal, but don’t you think that there’s a possibility that ace spectrum is part of the normal sexual experience, it’s just being framed as something specific and different because it’s mostly experienced by people who are not cis male? I think there’s a gender aspect to this that people don’t take into account. And if people think the asexuality label fits then and empowers them, that’s super valid. But at the same time I would also like it if people would say „being Demi is kinda normal though“ instead, because it normalized a sexual experience that is experienced very commonly among non cis men.

a quick note that "afabs" as a group like this is not very useful and also that's not its function in language like it's way easier to say people who were afab/people assigned female at birth bc "assigned female at births" is a weird sentence. and there are ppl who aren't cis men who are not afab.

and this is also anecdotal for me as well but most allosexual people I've met are in fact. assigned female at birth. like most of this website is assigned female at birth and every single person I've talked to who has made me realize oh shit yall actually feel sexual attraction for real? has been assigned female at birth

sexual attraction isn't Just for cis men and I understand where you're coming from but we are looping back around to bioessentialism here. like again, my experience is also anecdotal, but most incredibly horny people I talk to are afab. honestly I know more people amab who identify on the ace spectrum than I do people afab in my own personal life

so like. where there's a lack of studies done I think it is very very dangerous to rely on anecdotal experiences and claim some very bioessentialist claims based on your own experience. and I understand what you are trying to convey but there's many issues w this line of thought

plenty of people assigned female at birth experience immediate sexual attraction. plenty of people assigned male at birth do not.

and while agree that yes it's part of the normal sexual experience and no one has to label their sexuality anything, I disagree w the notion that it's at all based on birth sex assignment. or to my original point that "everyone feels like this" bc typically those people are again, talking about when you Decide to fuck someone

like I feel like generally Many people probably do feel asexual in some ways. and some people are happy to label it and some people aren't. but it's unhelpful of people to say "that's normal stop trying to label it something special" and it's also unhelpful to assign it to The Sexes. esp when those things Are very anecdotal like I said. we have the exact opposite experience so it's either one of us is wrong or maybe (the biggest chance here) that human experience is vast and varied and can't be divided neatly into What Vagina Havers Do vs What Penis Havers Do

[zephirite]

Oh my GOSH I had so many...for nostalgia's sake, imma do a breakdown of each book and what it did to me. (Spoilers for each book!) Elementary School:

Harry Potter I owe all my reading intrigue to my dad reading me and my sister Harry Potter every night. When he stopped, I was so invested I learned to read it just to finish it. I didn't know one out of every five words and the style took me a while to get used to, but after that, everything came easy. I was nine, so I deluded myself into thinking I would actually get a letter by owl (I was obsessed with birds at the time, so my excitement was two-fold). I went around with a 'cloak' and fake wand, and tried to sit through the Deathly Hallows movie when it first released (my dad warned me it was Pg-13, and he was right. I left to 'use the bathroom' several times). I re-discovered it when I was in middle-high school and in fandom spaces, so I garnered a new appreciation for its complexity before all the JKR drama hit. That said, it suffers from a lot of odd authorial bias--like the houses supposedly all being equal and unity being the way to defeat Voldemort, yet the final book involves...no Hogwarts or house unity until the final massacre? Someone said the protagonists should've been one from each house--Hermione in Ravenclaw, Ron in Hufflepuff, Harry in Griffindor, and Malfoy in Slytherin. More of the world could've been explored this way too...wasted opportunity. And for such a long series, it made sense to have the character deaths clustered toward the end, but I didn't expect so many in rapid succession. Overall, a very good concept with pretty good execution (even if I disagree with some choices).

Pandora Gets... [Jealous, Vain, Angry, etc] The cover art on these had no right going so hard. That's what drew me in, but I stayed for the plot: "Pandy", the teenage demigod daughter of Prometheus (who inhierited his fire powers) brings the box to school for show and tell, and her bullies unleash the seven evils trapped inside. So Pandy and her friends must travel the world to recapture them within a years time, seeing the damage they've caused and gaining skills along the way. The gods are bitchy (accurate) and the characters have good chemistry, clear stakes, and plenty of action. Took a turn when Alcie flippin' DIED (I cried, I was in utter disbelief) and ended up getting to see the Underworld. She even got given control over her life string by the Fates, which was sick. Really good series--I might read the final books now that it's complete. For old time's sake.

The Hunger Games The genius was mostly lost on me (I had to beg my parents to let me read it because everyone else in fifth grade was) and I sobbed during Rue's death, but it aged very well. Katniss was refreshingly awkward, and even the required YV love triangle had symbolic purpose and buildup (Gale representing War, and Peeta, Peace). Rue's death gutted me, as did Cinna's, and freaking Prim's... And it has fantastic movie adaptations, too. You can tell Suzanne Collins only writes when she has a clear story in mind, not as a cash grab. The prequel movie Songbirds and Snakes is coming out soon, and I'm pumped.

Divergent Considerably less well-developed and politically/psychologically nuanced than the above. Would've been more resonant as just one novel that ended openly. Then it fell apart. They randomly added Tobias's pov into the third book because of Tris's contrived death (after the whole series' Faction premise is revealed as an experiment). I always thought their relationship was...too intense and weird? Mentor/mentee ships often weird me out bc they don't feel like equals. And Divergents are literally just chosen ones...we never find out what makes them dangerous. It can't be 'questioning the system', because everyone fights back at some point. "Do factionless kids get to choose their faction?" <- someone commented this, and I agree that this would've made a MUCH cooler protagonist than Tris. And the movies got downright incoherent by the third one.

Emily Windsnap I was entranced by the iridescent mermaid-tale, watercolor cover, and this ushered in my mermaid phase (which only intensified with H2O and Mako Mermaids). In book one, the lighthouse keeper drugging Emily's mom via daily doughnuts so she forgets her mermaid husband while he rots in jail for loving a human, and then Emily visits him, and eventually gets Poseidon to let them live together. I loved the semi-mer ideal (human on land, mermaid in the water), and the simple, imaginative world was well-described. Fond memories! Even though they shoehorned a love interest in for Emily, adventure was first and foremost.

Dork Diaries Loved the art for this one, but Nikki was always as big a brat as her bullies--just in retaliation. She complains her life sucks even when she wins thousands of dollars in art competitions, gets record deals, and has a scholarship to a private school. Weirdest book was a literal fever dream where Nikki got beaned in the head with a dodgeball so hard, she hallucinated an entire fairy tale.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid Aged better than dork diaries, for its vaguely dark humor and deadpan absurdity.

Guardians of Ga'Hoole Warrior Cats but for bird nerds--like me, so this was a hit. I had to read the books out of order and missed most of them, but in the end, the main character gets his wing ripped off and dies. But hey--we got the prettiest movie adaptation EVER! Each shot is a painting and ultra-detailed in a beautiful way (not hyper-realism for the hell of it (*cough Lion King cough* ).

Animorphs How K.A.Applegate managed to tell a cohesive, unnerving war story about shapeshifting kids, aliens, and mind-controlling slugs over hundreds of novels, I'll never know. Each book had clear, high stakes and was entertaining. Some got weird, but that's par for the course. And apparently, we get a somewhat tragic ending, which is pretty ballsy. Hoping the show goes well--second time's a charm!

Warriors Enjoyed this one a lot, even if I didn't read all of them. Basic knowledge of clan structure and the premise has served me well, as this and Harry Potter remain the most well-known fandoms out of any on this list.

Molly Moon An english orphan learns how to hypnotize people, and uses it to defeat various weird adults and get rich, alongside her best friend and pug. What's not to love? Got a bit out-of-hand with the power creep after they introduced time travel and future selves, but it was always a quirky series at heart, so I can't blame it. They were also the only books in english in the Swedish library when I lived there for a year, so...there's that.

Inkheart Are all the original premises for YA books taken? Get meta, and make reading a superpower! A book for book nerds, and I love it dearly for that. Kinda conventional medieval European fantasy world meets VERY conventional modern world, but it's not about the scale, but the magic; read beautifully and with conviction, and the people around you are replaced by the characters you're reading about. Villain gets to meet the author who made him, and the author gets to travel inside his own book and reap the consequences of what he made. Movies are good, but this premise was literally built for books, so it's no great loss. Fantastic characters, though. Very iconic. I'm surprised Tumblr hasn't discovered this series yet--it's right up their alley.

A Year without Autumn Not a series nor an obsession, just a fever-dream novel I read (same author as Emily Windsnap) where a girl is on vacation with her friend Autumn, and rides an elevator to the future, where Autumn is in a coma from an accident that happened that summer. Main character travels 'up' another year, to where they're pulling Autunm's life support. Mc returns to save her. Lowkey horrific, but memorable. I'll reblog w/ a part 2!

Nobody understands the bond between a girl and the mediocre book she read when she was 13 years old.

[piduai]

I totally agree with you , I tend to remember the bad more than the good . I guess for self care it's better to just watch the arcs you loved . I watched the episode 153 or 157 something ( I don't remember the exact number but it's about Kagura not wanting to sleep ) more than ten times because I liked it. I think it's the best way to view an anime like this.

After all not much is to be  expected from an author like this.

The aliens versus us is just a way to portray the pre opening era . CLEARLY . No reach. If he could write "THOSE FOREIGNERS " he would. Very weird it's giving Isayama with Snk , the world population vs us the people of ( I don't remember honestly 🥴). It's like a nostalgic / xenophobic stand but not outspoken.

I just wish we got more contents of characters like Asaemon and nobume + mutsu these three really could introduce  interesting drama with their profession and personalities. I will never NEVER get over it 😩👹. You know what ? I wish gunatama was a female only cast ( I DARE TO SAY IT👹👹👹)

Also I don't like Emosugi , Kamui is so  cringe , he's what to expect from a teenage boy. He's so predictable, a violent  emotional red hair emo .

But  Takasugi Dramasuke ?!  I just can't . His rage is valid but he never gave anything . A plate of pasta without salt . The hype about him is what all his character is . I never understood it. He doesn't look cool and I think his feet smell NGL.

He's the example of a delayed frontal lobe growth. Soratchi just used limited appearance to tune the citizens on. I don't know how they fell for it . When the whole truth was finally exposed i was disappointed 🧍🏻‍♀️.

I don't know how to explain it and why . He's just so cliché i thought ginballma would be more original but it's not when you look back when it's about serious topic.

i don't have arcs i particularly hate, tbh i watched it in 2013 for the first time and a lot of the cultural & linguistic jokes flew over my head, as well as a lot of references. so now i rediscover a lot of stuff on my rewatch, which is fun. but ig if you have stuff you really hate it's just better to skip altogether, i mean who cares. i only started rewatching it bc i need something to play in the bg while i eat/do my nails/clean around the house etc and short series end too fast while i don't feel like committing to a long series i haven't watched yet

yeah i do wonder, i didn't notice it the first time at all but now it feels very sus. it's also funny that earth = japan it seems, the word japan is never uttered actually but the existence of other nations is never brought up either. and amanto = foreigners, with kagura and the rest of the yato being alien chinese while catherine being alien something vaguely southeast asian. with the rest being animals. i don't think it's that deep just something that made me raise an eyebrow

asaemon is a one arc character and mutsu was shown for a bit towards the end, but nobume was snubbed lol. but again everyone else who isn't g*ntoki was also snubbed. with nobume it's a shame that her shoyo disciple side was never explored while some whomstie (oboro) got an entire thing around it. zura was also sidelined when it comes to this. nobume didn't really do much after sabuchan died from what i recall which is a shame. but also the cast is HUGE so with sorachi's limited formulaic writing abilities it's understandable lol

people always praise the character writing in gintama and i always disagreed with that because 98% of the cast is the same thing from different angles, or rather it seems that he can't write anything else. default character in this series is kind of a rude jerk who is actually super duper kind and niceys deep down and when it matters, and if push comes to shove they'll give you a helping hand no questions asked. most of them have their own quirks (kagura is an abrasive glutton, tae is arrogant, mean and backstabbing, nobume is aloof and apathetic, kyuubei and tsukuyo are overly-serious and awkward and so on and so forth) but the mold is the same. which is like, fine for shounen standards, and a lot of them are very likeable, but let's be real no giocondas are being painted here

i liked kamui until it was revealed that he actually fr fr is obsessed with his mom and sister and this whole time he was just lonely and misunderstood and lashing out. boring. he was fun as a power-hungry #psycho little shit but obviously we can't have any divergences from the mold in this house. as for takasugi he's always been one of my favorites so i can't say much here lol to each their own

[jesse-pinko]

how do u feel about breaking bad’s ending? i love breaking bad to death but my hatred of walt cant accept felina. i kinda understand what vince was going for but for me it doesnt align with the actions have consequences philosophy of the show. he deserved so much worse. i hate that jesse’s life was still in his hands and his choice to make. the only choice jesse gets thats truly his own is alsaka. you hate walt as passionately as i do so i was wondering if u agree.

Heyy @axolotlv sorry it took me so long to get around to answer this but honestly I haven’t quite parsed my feelings ab Felina myself, which is weird to think ab bc BrBa has been my hyperfixation for like six?? Some odd years?? It’s been awhile and there is no cure in sight. However I do have to disagree w your opinion on Jesse’s ending, esp now that we have the added context of El Camino to go off of. I thought it was perfect. I talked before in my post on Todd and Lydia as character foils to Jesse and Walt ab how Jesse strangling Todd is him freeing himself from a prison of both Walt’s making and his own, seeing as Todd and Lydia are both responsible for Jesse’s imprisonment and how they parallel Jesse and Walt respectively. I think the Gilliverse in general does a good job of both holding Jesse accountable for his choices while cutting him some moral slack on account of Walter’s abuse of power towards him. Jesse’s life is in Walter’s hands because Walter has essentially kept him in a state of mental captivity over the last few seasons, but he is the one who makes the choice to end it, by refusing to do Walt’s dirty work for him anymore, by refusing to commit another act of violence on his behalf. By putting the gun down. And in El Camino, he chooses not just to go to Alaska, but to accept what he has done and redeem himself not through jail time, but through becoming a better person, becoming the kind of person who puts as much good into the world as he did bad. And as much as we the viewers might have wanted Jesse to shoot Walter in the dick, at the end of the day, Jesse loves Walt. Despite everything, because of everything, Jesse loves and hates Walter as much as one might an actual abusive parent, and I think actually shooting Walt would have followed him for the rest of his life, no matter how justified he might have been in doing so.

With regards to Walter’s ending… my feelings are mixed. I’m willing to accept it because I think it brought Jesse a sense of closure that a more fitting punishment for Walt might not have, which was maybe the point. That it’s not about Walter anymore. He’s dead, his story is done, and he was so far gone that the only thing he could do in the way of redemption was do right by the person he hurt and loved the most. He allows Jesse’s story to continue at the expense of his own, and it’s maybe the first selfless thing he’s ever done in his life. And maybe the only thing he ever really did for his family. And, maybe, that he got what he wanted was also the point. Because on the surface, he’s had everything stripped away, he didn’t get what he wanted at all. Everyone who has ever met him wants him dead, including his whole family, his empire has fallen as soon and as fast as it rose. But all of those things were just stand-ins for what Walter really wanted, which was some agency over his own death, because he felt as though he didn’t have any over his own life (good thing he didn’t project this lack of agency onto anyone else, huh). So it’s sort of a monkey’s paw thing, where he gets what he wants, a good, meaningful death, at the expense of a good, meaningful life. Narratively speaking, it’s brilliant.

But I still kind of wish Jesse had shot him in the dick.

[harrywritingsbyme]

A Special Valentine

Anonymous Said: would it be possible for the "series of firsts" it's harry's first time with a girl...

Based Off Of This Ask

And This One

A/N: So I’ve been sitting on this concept for what seems life forever. I’ve gotten ideas and I’ve lost ideas and it’s been a good while of writing little drafts and stuff for this fic. But, I am so so so thankful to have @adore-you-hs2 and @honeyfulharries for helping me brainstorm some ideas for this fic!! Since I wrote a virgin!Y/n fic last year around valentines day, I figured I’d do a fic for Harry, only this time incorporating more of the valentines theme. So it’s hella soft and fluffy with a lil angst, and when you get to the smut it’s hella filthy😂I hope y’all like it and I hope all of you had a lovely day…yesterday or the day before bc this valentine is hella late and timezones are a bitch. This is a brand new installment in a series of firstsss!! Anywaysss…enjoy🙃❤️

7.3k wordsss

Harry was beyond embarrassed. He was almost at the point of being ashamed. While all of his friends divulged about their sex lives and talked about how their significant other was in bed, he just sat next to you idly without anything to add to the conversation. He couldn’t talk about his favorite positions to have you in or little tricks he has for the bedroom. He was a virgin and didn’t have any type of experience whatsoever in regards to sex. The most he’d ever done with someone was touching over the clothes and making out. When he was all by himself, Harry did what he had to do; which he actually felt like he did a pretty good job with. It’s not that he didn’t know what he was into or liked in regards to his pleasure. Harry knew what his favorite content was and he even had a couple toys he liked to use on himself. It’s just that when he got to the more intimate phase of the relationship, he always got flustered and nervous. Even when it came to oral or mutual masturbation. He didn’t exactly know why he wasn’t able to express himself or be the same person he was when he was behind closed doors and alone. What made matters even worse for him though was the fact that he always felt rushed. Like whenever he said that he wasn’t quite ready or that he was a virgin, the dynamic of the relationship shifted. Ultimately leaving him alone to feel embarrassed, a bit hopeless, and sad over the fact that he was still a virgin. He also felt unwanted given the fact that a couple of his prior relationships fizzled out pretty quickly after he revealed that he hadn’t had his first time and that he wasn’t ready to do so at that moment. 

Eventually though, Harry reached the point of not even bothering or trying to meet new people and be in a relationship. He felt like he’d never be accepted nor meet the right person for him, let alone be ready to go all the way. So he put all of that on the back burner and just went along with life, becoming content with being completely by himself. And then he met you. It was like the perfect cliche. You were the person who never judged him for being a virgin or tried to rush him into doing anything he wasn’t up to or ready for. You just loved him for him and you wanted to be with him and be in love. It was like he was being understood and heard for the first time in a very long time and it felt great. With you, Harry was never made to feel like he was less than because of his choice and feelings when it came to his virginity. In fact, when you listened to what he’d been through in the past, it broke your heart. You could tell that he was really heartbroken and deeply saddened about it all and you never wanted to make him feel that way or even worse. So you made it your mission to never put pressure on him when it came to this and you made it your mission to listen and be there for him. You weren’t going to back out of your relationship over this; you loved him too much to even consider doing that. 

Even though he was fine with and had accepted the idea of being by himself, Harry didn’t want that for the rest of his life. He wanted to be with someone, he wanted to love someone unconditionally and be unconditionally loved back. And he got just that in you. He’d have to spend an entire lifetime compiling all of the words that could describe how perfect you are and how much he loves your relationship. Sure the two of you annoyed the hell out of each other at times and had disagreements. But neither of you wanted to annoy or disagree with anyone else. Over the past almost year of being together, you and Harry grew closer and closer. You two grew to love each other more than ever and this love was growing more and more each day. You and Harry could agree that there was a long and bright future ahead for you two and that was very exciting for you both. And in the process of growing and building your relationship, the two of you never had sex. You always followed Harry’s lead and you just went with the flow. Now things got a bit hot and heavy at times, but you and Harry were more than capable of taking care of yourselves so you two just stopped and didn’t go any further. From the toys you both had to your special “entertainment” and your vivid imaginations, you two were were just fine until the right time came along. And you specifically, refused to put any type of pressure on Harry. When it came to your first time together and Harry’s first time ever, you had the mindset that if Harry was comfortable, you were comfortable. 

And that was another reason why Harry felt so embarrassed. He was sitting next to you, his incredibly supportive and understanding girlfriend, in the middle of a conversation with you guys’ friends about your sex lives when he’s never had sex with you, or anyone for that matter. Listening to them, he felt like he was sort of holding you back and not fulfilling you the way you deserved. Even though you reminded him that the right time was when he was ready and that you were perfectly fine with that, Harry still felt a way. He still felt embarrassed. And on top of all that, you were being so sweet and understanding in the midst of it all. You were really trying to make him a little less uncomfortable and not so out of place. You could sense and see a little bit of that in the way he sank into the couch and cuddled into you a little more, so you wanted to be there for him and help him relax a bit. You were making a little conversation with him while the others talked amongst themselves, you played with his rings, and you gave him little kisses here and there. But you could only do but so much in that moment. Despite your efforts, Harry still felt the same way. Without any warning, Harry moves away from you a bit and stands from the couch, quickly announcing to the group that he needed a little fresh air. At first you just let him go, figuring that you should let him have his space. But after a couple minuets of sitting there without him, not really wanting to engage in the conversation at hand, you decide to get up and go out to him, giving the excuse that you wanted to check on him and see if he was okay. To be honest, it felt very weird to sit there without him.

You quickly walk away from the group in the direction Harry left in, needing to find him soon as you possibly could. Once you made it out the front door you turn to find him sitting in one of the chairs a couple steps away looking completely deflated. You couldn’t let him be all alone when he was feeling like this. So you quietly walk over, sitting down in the chair next to him, with your body and attention completely in his direction.

“I couldn’t sit there anymore.” He huffs, breaking the silence and bringing his hands up to his face.

“I understand babe.” You sigh, reaching over to rub his arm.

“It’s just- It’s so embarrassing that I’m in my late 20’s an I haven’t done anything with you, or anyone else for that matter.” He explains. 

“That is nothing to be embarrassed about Harry.” You softly exclaim, picking yourself up from your seat to sit in his lap. “Your virginity is yours, and only yours. That’s your decision to make, not mine, nor anyone else’s.” You affirm. 

“But It’s not normal considering I’m 27! What are you even with me?! I don’t want you to be with me and not be fulfilled.” He stresses quietly, feeling incredibly defeated. The entire situation brought up feelings and thoughts that he’d tried very hard to get past. When he says this, you immediately cup the sides of his face, forcing him to focus on you. 

“Now I want you to listen to me. I am with you because I love you so fucking much and you’re the most amazing person in the entire world. Sex is great and all but I can wait as long as you need if it means being with you and loving you to pieces. Hell, I’ll wait until we’re married if that’s what you choose to do. The point is, I’m yours and I will wait as long as necessary. With or without sex, you fulfill me Harry.” You softly explain to him, looking him right in the eye as you say every word. You could see the tears welling up in his eyes as you spoke to him. 

“I love you so much Y/n.” Harry sighs, still feeling a bit down. “Can we go to your place and cuddle.” He mumbles through a pout. 

“Of course baby! I’ll run back inside and let everyone know you’re not feeling well and then we can head home. How does that sound?” You propose with a smile.

“That sounds amazing.” He sighs, a small smile spreading across his face. 

“Can I have a kiss first?” You ask, puckering your lips towards him. In response he gives you a cute little nod before you lean down to press your lips against his. When the two of you kiss you can feel Harry relax a bit, which is exactly what you wanted. You knew that this wouldn’t solve this entirely, but it was a step in the right direction and it made Harry feel a little better which was all that mattered. “Now you wait right here and I’ll be right back.” You softly instruct after pulling away from his lips, following up with another kiss to the forehead before moving yourself off of his lap and back inside. After letting everyone know that Harry wasn’t feeling well and that you two were going to head out, you and Harry go back to your place and spend time together, cuddling and watching you guys’ favorite show and some movies, eventually falling asleep all cuddled with each other.

~ ~ ~ 

After that day, Harry began to think about going all the way with you and finally having sex for the first time a lot more than usual. Over the past year almost, you’ve shown him that you really do love and care about him. You never pressured him into doing anything and you always reminded him that he should do all of this at his own pace. You also showed him that you were the one; you were the one he could and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. There were just so many things about you that he loved. So many things that Harry couldn’t imagine having his first time with anyone else. And he made sure to tell you that after deliberating on the matter for a couple of days. 

“I think I’m ready to lose it.” Harry whispers, completely out of the blue as the two of you wash the dishes from your little date night.

“You’re ready to y’know, have sex?” You question, wanting to make sure you heard him correctly. 

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it for a little bit and I realized that I’m ready to do it. And I want to do it with you. I wouldn’t want to have my first time with anyone else to be completely honest with you.” He explains, a small smile spreading across his face as he continues drying the dishes you’ve washed and handed over to him.

“Well I’m very honored, that you’re entrusting me with this. And I hope that it’s as good as you’ve imagined.” You reply to him, beginning to feel a bit of nervousness and excitement at the idea of being Harry’s first time. You’d never thought about it much since Harry wasn’t ready. But now that he was, you were feeling so many things and you were thinking about so many things as the time had finally come.

“Well I highly doubt that it will be anything less than amazing baby.” Harry hums, dropping the dishtowel and turning his attention to you. “I love you.” He sighs happily, prompting you to turn your head to face him.

“I love you too babe.” You coo, leaning in to press a quick peck to his lips.

~ ~ ~

Now you refused to let Harry’s first time be anything short of special. So you decided to plan something romantic for you two at your place, and you planned for this to be on Valentines Day. Not only would it be your first time celebrating as a couple, but it would also be your first intimate moment with Harry. And you wanted everything to be perfect, so you made a list of everything you’d need for the night at least a week or two in advance. You had everything from ingredients for dinner to a new set of lingerie. You also went over the list several times to make sure that you got everything you could possibly need for that night. You even went as far as to plan a little backup dinner in case something went wrong with the initial plan. You just wanted to make this night perfect for Harry. He’d gone through a lot in his relationships to get here and you wanted him to see that doing it all at his pace paid off and that he was special and loved. In the couple of days leading up to the big day, you began shopping and getting everything together. You got all of the food, wine, and decoration along with your lingerie and some other things for yourself that would make the entire experience that much better.

And when the day finally came, you were excited and all ready to go.

You had dinner cooking, the wine was in the fridge chilling, your bedroom was all set up with a fresh set of sheets, a couple candles set up and ready to be lit, a mix of red and white rose petals on the bed, and the perfect playlist (which you spent a good amount of time on) queued up. Not to mention the fact that you had your lingerie and everything perfectly set up in the bathroom so that you could be ready to change right into it after dinner. All you needed now was Harry. When he texted you to let you know that he was less than ten minuets away, you quickly throw on the dress you’d picked out for the evening along with your shoes and you do a final once over in the mirror before leaving your bedroom, making sure to close the door to keep that part of the evening a surprise. You pulled the wine from the fridge and you put the finishing touches on the table that was perfectly set for your dinner. In the final minuets before Harry’s arrival, you do a final walk through of everything you’d set up, it ending with a soft knock on your door signaling to you that Harry had arrived. When you hear him, your heart immediately begins to race from being nervous and excited for the night ahead. You immediately move yourself to the door, quickly giving yourself a little pep talk before opening the door for Harry. And when you did, you were almost certain you were going to pass out. Not only because you were buzzing around your apartment doing everything, but also because your boyfriend looked so good. What he had on was very simple but it was doing so much at the same time. You just wanted to pull him straight to the bedroom. But you didn’t. It took a lot of self control, but Harry was able to make it inside and settle down a bit before you two hit the bedroom

But it wasn’t that much of a gap in between Harry settling in and you two hitting the bedroom though. See, once you let him inside and gave him a kiss, it was like game over. He had a big basket that was beautifully filled with the things you loved and a couple presents he got you  in one hand, and a big bouquet of your favorite flowers in the other. When he got inside, Harry happily and proudly gave them both to you and let you check them both out while he snooped around in the kitchen a little to see what you had prepared and opened the bottle of wine you had out on the counter for you two. Once you started, you couldn’t stop gushing over and thanking Harry for what he got you. It was beyond thoughtful and you couldn’t wait for him to fully experience his gift of the night you’d planned out. Once you and Harry began talking and drinking a little, you two loosened up and were enjoying each other. The lights were dimmed a bit, there were candles just about everywhere, you and Harry were in love, and the two of you were all alone. It was absolutely perfect and romantic. On top of all that though, there was the pleasant elephant in the room, that being Harry giving you the green light that he was ready for his first time. If there were no other indicators in the days leading up to this moment, there was definitely one now that was strongly pointing to him losing it tonight. He wasn’t anxious and he wasn’t thinking about backing out and telling you that he’s changed his mind. He knew that you’d be all on board with that but Harry was absolutely ready to be with you intimately. He was so ready that he couldn’t take his mind off it on the ride over. And once he arrived, Harry was completely floored by how amazing you looked and how you put this entire evening together that he was even more ready to go to the bedroom. He was so ready and excited that he completely gave up on talking. The two of you transitioned yourselves into the kitchen to get started with dinner, but Harry was very much so enjoying the idea of saving that for later. So without any word from him on what he was in the mood for, Harry takes your wine glasses and sits them on the counter, freeing your hands up as he traps you in between his body and the kitchen counter before attaching his lips with yours. 

When he does this, you practically melt under his touch. You were already in a daze from how amazing he looked, and from how sweet and amazing he was to you. So when Harry began to kiss you with such passion and need, you instantly obliged. Again, you were following his lead. If he wanted to skip and come back to dinner, you weren’t going to oppose one bit. As the two of you continued to kiss, you could feel him hardening against you which prompted the area between your legs to initiate the process of becoming all warm and sticky and go into overdrive. His hands were on your body, he was tightly pressed against you, and his mouth was magically moving against yours. This was just what you needed to fully get into the skipping right to the bedroom mood. It wouldn’t have taken much on Harry’s end to get you there but this was fantastic, so you weren’t complaining at all. When you hear Harry let out a soft moan into your mouth and move himself against you a little, you decide to take control and move you two to the bedroom a little faster. 

“Do you wanna just come back to dinner?” You whisper after pulling your lips away from his a bit.

“Mhm.” He immediately hums in response, loosening himself from your body so that you could move a bit more.

“Then let’s go.” You whisper with a smile, moving yourself from underneath him and grabbing his hand, pulling him in the direction of your bedroom. When you reach the door, you tease him a little by slowly turning the door knob, making sure to keep eye contact the entire time to drive him insane. And that definitely did the trick of riling him up some more. That is, until he got all soft once the bedroom was revealed to him. You went out of your way to make this space romantic since this was the place where he’d have his first time. “I wanted to make everything perfect for you.” You softly explain as you pull him into the room. 

“Have I told you that I love you tonight?” He asks, through a small breath. 

“Probably about a million times.” You happily joke with him, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Well for time one million and one, I love you so  so much. Like with my entire being. I love you so much that it hurts. And I couldn’t be more honored to be yours.” Harry says, bringing his lips to yours for a sweet kiss to seal the deal.

“I love you so much baby, so much.” You reply happily to him, so excited to move into the next step of your relationship. “Now get back into I want sex mode...that’s so hot on you and I have another surprise.” You continue, wanting to keep going and go all the way. 

“Considering how hard I am, I don’t think I’ll be out of “I want sex mode” for a while.” Harry truthfully replies with a chuckle that had the slightest tinge of bashfulness from how he was already rock hard and ready for you.

“Good! Now lay down and wait for me.” You say, unwrapping your arms from around his neck and pulling you both towards the bed before pushing him back down onto it. You then proceed to straddle him, bringing your face down to a mere inch or so away from his. “And if you wanna take your clothes off too, I’m definitely unopposed. ” You suggest with a smirk, planting a little peck to his lips before climbing off of his lap and walking out of the bedroom and into the bathroom where your lingerie was waiting for you, leaving Harry on the bed completely dumbstruck and needy. 

As soon as you close the bathroom door, you immediately begin working on removing your dress, pulling the zipper down to loosen it up and shrugging it off your body leaving you completely naked. As you looked in the mirror, you began to debate on whether or not you wanted to surprise him with being all naked or teasing him and making him work for it a little with the lingerie you had out and ready. Even though you were ready to just run back out there completely naked and just get down to business, you decided to put on the lingerie and let Harry unwrap you. As you put it on, all you could think about was Harry taking it all off. Like you could imagine him pulling it all off your body. With your panties especially, you could picture him pulling them off strings of your arousal coming with them. After getting the lacy garments on your body, you start pulling and moving it all around a bit. Once you’re all done with the lingerie, you pull the little sheer robe that came along with it on and you take a couple deep breaths before making your way back out to Harry. When you walk back into the bedroom, Harry’s eyes immediately shoot in your direction and practically pop out of his head when he sees you. He’d seen you in a two piece bathing suit before but that was about it. He’d never seen you this bare and exposed before. As you moved around the room to light the candles, Harry’s eyes followed your every move  and you could feel it. You could feel his eyes burning holes into your skin as you lit the candles and really set the mood for your time together. After you lit the candles and pressed play for your music, you were all ready to go. 

When you turn your full attention to Harry, you weren’t that surprised to see him fighting to quietly palm at his cock on the bed. His eyes were tightly closed as he squeezed his cock through his underwear. He was so engrossed on keeping himself quiet and relieving some of the pressure that had been mounting from the time he left home that he didn’t even notice you crawling up the bed. What he does notice though is you straddling his thighs, when he feels you on top of him, his eyes immediately shoot open and he quickly retracts his hand from his lap.

“You just look so good, I couldn’t help myself.” He rushes out in explanation. He could see it all. Your breasts were sitting perfectly in the lacy bra you were wearing, and from where Harry was, they looked beyond amazing. When his eyes traveled a bit lower, he could see where the two sides of your panties met to form a barely there strip to cover your pussy. If that wasn’t enough, the fabric was clinging to you and pushing up into your folds since the panties were pretty much nonexistent and you were very wet. He’d pictured you on top of him before, just never like this.

“Well I’m glad you like it because it’s all yours.” You reply, moving yourself up his body to sit right in his lap, causing Harry to gasp from the sight and feeling of you being naked and right on his cock. Harry was in sensory overload and so overwhelmed that he couldn’t form a single word in response. “Are you okay baby?” You softly ask, bringing your hand down to his cheek.

“Mhm…you just look so good, I don’t know where to start.” He whispers, bringing his eyes to meet yours. 

“You could start by touching me.” You suggest, reaching down to grab Harry’s hand and bring it up to one of your thighs to which Harry replicates with his other hand. Instead of rushing him along, you wanted him to explore your body and relax into the intimacy. You wanted him to be comfortable and do the things he’d dreamt of and feel the things he always wanted to feel. “And just relax” You begin, leaning down to bring your mouth to his ear. “I have a strong feeling that you’re gonna be really good at this.” You admit to him before lifting yourself back up. When Harry hears this, he eases up. Hearing that you thought he’d be good was the confidence boost he needed to get the ball rolling.

He begins to move his hands up your thighs, curling his thumbs inward towards the inner, more sensitive area. His hands continue on up your body, pushing past your hips, and all the way up to your chest where he brings both of his hands around to wrap them around your covered breasts. When he does this, you let out a little sigh of relief, loving the way his big hands felt around you. Harry loved how soft and squishy they felt in his hands, and he wanted to feel more. So he pushes his hands underneath your arms and manages to swiftly undo your bra. He couldn’t do it with one hand yet but you were very impressed (and even more turned on) at how he as able to quickly do it on his first try. The fabric is now hanging loosely on your body, allowing Harry to pull it down and off your body to fully expose your breasts to him. Your nipples were fully pebbled and practically screaming for him to play with them. He brings his hands back around, going straight to your breasts and right to your nipples. His fingers tugged and twisted at them, leaving you unable to hold back anymore moans that were threatening to spill out of your mouth. You also couldn’t help but to grind down against his clothed cock, which in turn caused Harry to start moaning beneath you. The soft music was now completely overpowered by your combined moans. 

“Can I be on top?” He pants, dying to get you completely naked and explore your body.

“Anything you want!” You exclaim, through one of your moans. Letting Harry take control of everything, you let him flip you two over so that he’s hovering over your body. As soon as he’s on top of you, Harry’s mouth immediately latches onto your skin, starting at the side your your neck. He starts sponging and sucking wet kisses into your skin, leaving a trail of them down your chest, stopping at the tops of your breasts so that he could pay them some more attention. The takes them both into his mouth individually and suckles on them, lapping his wet tongue around your nipples and squeezing the supple flesh surrounding them. For some reason, Harry felt at home with his mouth around your nipples. It was so good that Harry was rutting his clothed cock against you. As he continues, you’re softly moaning from the pleasure. You had a hand wrapped in his hair and the other on his back as he mouthed at your breasts. And as if he could read your mind, Harry picks up where he left off with his trail of kisses and makes his way further down your body. 

You wanted him to just explore your body and touch and feel you the way you knew he’d imagined. But you really wanted him between your legs. Your cunt had swallowed up the panties by now and the panties were nothing more than a damp piece of string at this point. When he makes it to the hand of your panties, Harry’s heart begins to speed up, excited to take them off and see what was underneath. He pushes his fingers into the thin bands that were wrapped around your hips and he begins to pull them down. He carefully watches as your cunt is being revealed to him. He can see how you were sopping wet and how plushy and soft your pussy was. There were strings of your arousal connecting your cunt and panties as he pulled them from between your legs. Once they fully off of you, and you’re completely naked, Harry lifts himself up from between your legs to soak in your naked body. He couldn’t believe how beautiful your naked body looked for him. You looked so soft and pretty below him, completely spread and exposed to him.

“Y’so pretty baby.” He sighs, bringing his hands down to your thighs. “Can I eat you baby?” He sweetly asks, bringing his eyes down between your legs so look at the sticky mess that was between your thighs. 

“Please Harry!” You moan, desperately needing his mouth on you again. At your response, Harry lays back down on the bed between your spread legs. He could smell your arousal and he was incredibly excited to taste you. He’d never don’t this before so he was a bit nervous that he wouldn’t do that good of a job. “Just lick into me baby, nothing to be nervous about.” You remind above him, bringing your hand to his head to give his hair a little tug. And with that, Harry dives right in. He just buries his face into your cunt, lapping his tongue up and down your folds. He pushed his tongue anywhere he could. He pushed between your folds, nestling his tongue right inside and against your entrance. He could feel the small opening and his cock immediately twitched in his pants. His cock was supposed to fit in there? While he didn’t want to hurt you, Harry was so interested and curious to see how you’d take all of him. He knew it wasn’t impossible but it was definitely something he was excited to see in person. He was so excited that he couldn’t stop himself from digging his hips into the mattress below. You tasted so good, you were incredibly warm, and he was beyond excited to feel your cunt around his cock.

You on the other hand were falling apart at the seams. You were on cloud nine, completely obsessed with the way he was licking into you. His strokes weren’t those of someone who was skilled and had done this before. But they were definitely amazing and you couldn’t get enough. He was licking and sucking on you perfectly, he even managed to find your clit. And it was his first time ever. He even tried pushing the tip of his tongue into your entrance, prodding at your tight hole. And on top of all that, he was moaning against you, seemingly enjoying how you tasted. When he wasn’t licking at your cunt, Harry was licking your thighs, almost trying to clean you up. He licked your thighs, the area right outside of your pussy, and he even licked the area below your cunt. He was hypnotized by your cunt. He just wanted to stay between your legs forever and have his mouth on you while he humped the bed below him. Of course he wanted to push his cock into you, but after he ate your cunt.

“Need you inside me Harry!” You scream, bucking your hips up into his mouth a bit. You were feeling incredibly sensitive and you could feel your own release coming. And before you came, you needed to feel Harry’s cock inside of you. When he hears you beg for him to be inside of you, he immediately stops and pulls himself up from the bed. When he’s kneeling between your legs, your eyes travel up from his no doubt painfully large bulge to his face. From his mouth down to his chin, even his nose, Harry’s face was glistening with your juices.

“Whats so funny?” He asks confusedly.

“Your face is all wet.” You reply, a wide smile spread across your face in the process.

“I just love eating your pussy.” He says truthfully, leaning down for a kiss. When your lips connect, you wrap your arms around Harry’s neck to keep him down against you. His lips sloppily move against yours, moaning into your mouth as he pushes his clothed cock against your bare and incredibly sensitive cunt. Keeping one of his elbows planted on the bed, Harry brings his other hand down to his boxers and does his best to push them down his legs. He struggles a bit before finally getting them down enough to expose his cock. When you feel him nudge you a little bit, you immediately turn your mouth away from Harry’s, turning your attention downwards between his legs.

“Need some help baby?” You offer, unwrapping your arms from around his neck and extending them down to his hips. 

“Just need t’take them off.” He replies, quickly lifting himself up from on top of you to fully remove his boxers. Harry then goes back to kneeling between your legs, now with his painfully hard and dripping cock on display. You knew that he was big from the glances you’d taken at his pants a couple times, but you didn’t know that he was this big. He was hands down the biggest you’d ever taken, and no one before him ever came close. On top of his monstrous size, you could see the thick veins running up his shaft and you saw precum beading at his swollen slit. You wanted him inside you first, but your mouth was definitely watering. You couldn’t wait until you were able to take him into your mouth and stuff all of him inside. But for now, you were excited to take him inside of you for the first time and be his first time.

“Are you ready babe?” You ask. 

“Mhm. I um- I bought some condoms just in case. It’s up to you though. I trust that you’re all good.” He says, laughing a little in the end. 

“I bought some too. But I think we’re good. And I trust that you’re all good as well.” You reply with a shy smile.

“Okay then, let’s do this.” He cheerfully says. 

“Let’s do it!” You reply, mirroring his excitement. “Do you want me on top or are you good?”

“I think I’m good.” He says, as he leans down to closely hover over you. “But I know you’re going to feel like heaven so I may not be.” 

“That’s okay, I can take control.” You reply suggestively, pulling your lower lip between your teeth. 

“Good, I like the sound of that.” He whispers in agreement, connecting his mouth with yours for one final kiss as he slowly and carefully pushes his cock against your folds. “Fuck, m’gonna push in now baby.” He pants, already losing his shit over how warm and wet your folds feel against his cock.

“Please.” You moan, needing to be full of his cock. 

And with that, Harry begins to push his cock into you, using one of his hands to guide himself inside. When Harry pushes past your entrance, you two lose it. You were so tight that when his engorged head pushes into you, there a piercing sensation that comes along with it. You hadn’t had sex in a very long time and Harry’s size was completely unmatched. For Harry, he was on the verge of collapsing on top of you. You were so so tight and warm and wet, he’d never felt anything like it. No matter how much lube he used or how fast he tugged at his shaft, he never and would never be able to match the decadence of your walls around him. And he’d only pushed the head of him inside. He actually had to stop for a second to get his bearings because his head was spinning. Once he’s caught his breath and the room stopped spinning as fast, Harry continues pushing himself inside. With every inch that becomes sheathed with your walls, your combined moans get louder. Your mouths mouth never closed, and your eyes fluttered shut as you two enjoyed the pleasure. You were in love with the perfectly balanced mix of pain and pleather came from Harry pushing into and stretching your your walls a bit to accommodate his size. Harry was taken to a different universe from the way your walls engulfed his cock. You could even feel him twitch a bit from how good he felt. 

By the time he finished pushing into you, Harry’s cock was lodged all the way inside you. So deep you could just about feel him in the pit of your stomach. It was hands down incredible for the two of you. After holding himself inside of you for a little while, Harry begins to move himself back and forth inside of you. Since it was his first time doing this and feeling this for that matter, his thrusts were a bit sloppy and staggered. He tried to form a faster rhythm, or a rhythm at all but he was so overwhelmed. 

“Thought I could hold it longer, but I don’t think I can. Can’t even hold myself up.” He slurs, trying to continue with his thrusts. 

“Gonna get on top baby.” You moan, feeling your own release getting even closer. Without a single hesitation, you push the two of you over to that you’re on top of him, straddling his waist and keeping his cock deep inside of you. Once your adjusted on top of him, feeling like his cock was deeper than before if that was even possible, you begin to move yourself up and down on him. You weren’t going super fast, you were going fast enough to make you and Harry really feel it and get closer and closer to your releases. Harry was loudly moaning and whimpering below you, tightly intertwining his fingers with yours as he surrenders to you, and your pussy. He thrashed his head back and forth against the pillows from how good he was feeling. 

“Y’so big!” You cry out to him, beginning to quickly grind down onto his cock, pushing forward a bit to dig your clit into his lower stomach. “And so deep! Can feel you all the way in here!” You cry out to him, bringing your intertwined hands up to your lower stomach for him to feel.

“Fuck Y/n! Can’t hold it anymore! Need t’cum” He groans, feeling his release beginning to consume his body.

“Me too baby! We can cum together!” You whimper, leaning down to lay on his chest. And as you begin to leave soft kisses on Harry’s lips and face, your walls begin to contract around his cock, signaling to him that you were cumming. When he felt this, Harry came right along with you. He coats all of your walls in his warm, thick, and sticky cum, spraying rope after rope into you until he couldn’t cum anymore. Your legs were full on shaking as you squirted all over his cock. The both of you were moaning messes and completely dumbstruck at how powerful your releases were. Nothing could ever compare to this and neither of you wanted to test out that theory. After letting go of everything you two had to give, you and Harry lied limply in bed, letting your bodies rest.

“I love you baby.” Harry whispers sluggishly below you.

“I love you too baby.” You softly reply back to him, nuzzling your face into his warm neck.

For the next half hour, the two of you lay there together, resting your bodies and minds from the extraordinary experience the two of you had. You two were lying there peacefully, enjoying the feeling of each others bodies and the music that was still playing through your speaker. Out of the two of you, Harry was the first to break the silence. Except, it wasn’t from him talking. It was from his stomach, letting the both of you know that he needed to be fed asap. 

“When we can feel our legs again, we can eat I guess.” You breathe out through a laugh, still recovering from the most amazing sex you’d ever had and probably some of the best sex of all human history in your opinion. Even though it was his first time, Harry still managed to make a mess of you. 

“Mhm, and then we can go again.” He hums dreamily, not even caring about his grumbling stomach, completely in the clouds from how amazing his first time was. He came in with his “expectations” and was completely blown out of the water. He just wanted to go again and again and again until he was fully numb and wiped out. “Maybe you can be on your front this time.” He suggests, thinking of all the ways he wanted to feel you around him.

“I think I may have created a sex monster.” And to be honest, you really didn’t mind that at all.

“Only for you my love.” He hums, wrapping his arms around your body. 

And for the rest of the night, you and Harry never stopped, loving being tangled up in each other. It wasn’t always in bed, but neither of you cared. All you two cared about was being together, feeling good, and being in love. This was truly a special valentine. It was one that neither you nor Harry would ever forget.

Masterlist

[tommybaholland]

bnha boys as viral tiktok sounds + their reaction

featuring: bakugo, kirishima, kaminari, amajiki and dabi

bakugo swearing, mentions of titties, dabi gets suggestive. you know, the usual. enjoy!

bakugo  

physical embodiment of ‘how big are those titties bitch?! hurry up, i’m getting weird stares!’ 

you have him listen to the sound and you’re like ‘this u?’

“WHAT?? i sound nothing like THAT, you IDIOT” 

“and DONT ask me to make one of those stupid videos”

and of course you ask him and at first he’s pretty resistant to the idea

but he could never resist for long 

“OKAY FINE, IDIOT. just tell me what to do.”

you tell him what he should do and start the video

you make him hold up a tape measure and everything like you had seen in other videos

he seems to get into it and playfully shakes you by the shoulders while yelling the last line, making you laugh

“there. now stop bothering me and you better NOT post that anywhere.”

“thank you, katsuki,” pressing a kiss to his cheek, making him go red 

“yeah, whatever.”

you’re already thinking about how you can convince him to let you post it >:))

he finally lets you post it but only lets you keep public for one (1) day

but thats long enough to get everyone’s attention 

kirishima actually notifies him of the popularity and even turns baku’s attention to the comments

“dude, everyone thinks you’re so cool! and even some people are...well..”

amongst the simp comments, he becomes livid over the one that are like, “so...how big are their titties??👀” 

and it doesn’t bother you because people will just say whatever they want on the internet 

but he feels like he at least needs to reaffirm something 

“i dont care how big your... titties are. they’re big enough and i love you just the way you are.” 

then he grabs you and pulls you closer to him and starts attacking your neck with kisses

“now put that shit on private or i will reign hellFIRE on all those IDIOTS” 

kirishima 

definitely that one that goes ‘*sigh* i love you *kiss kiss kiss kiss* you set my soul on fire’ 

he’s familiar and comfortable with tiktok so you decide to surprise him with the sound that makes you think of him

“what do you want me to do, pebble?” he asks curiously, holding you in his lap as you set up your phone

“nothing. just be your cute and manly self. ready?” 

you start the video and look him right in the eyes as you sigh and say, “i love you” before leaning in to make him think your lips are gonna touch his

but then you quickly change direction and press multiple kisses to his cheek on the kissing part, making him giggle loudly and hug you close to him

you look back into his bright eyes while speaking the last line and he sees an opportunity to caress your cheeks to pull you in for a passionate kiss at the last second 

and the camera catches ALL of it 

he thinks it’s super cute and encourages you post it 

you’re not one to flaunt your relationship on social media but you do it thinking it’s not going to get much attention anyway

but it blows tF UP 

it gets to almost 1M views and 400k likes in just two days 

even though you made the tiktok, all the comments are about your boyfriends cute ass reaction like “oh to be them 😔” “the WAY that he looked at them and kissed them like😭” “if my boyfriend doesn’t do this then i don’t want him”

you show him how much attention he’s getting like, “wow kiri, they love you!”

and he gets all modest like, “i think they love you too because you’re my cute little pebble! now give your boulder a kiss..”

is totally down to make more tiktoks with you anytime <3

 kaminari 

this is not denki slander but 

‘you don’t have a thought behind those eyes, do you? sweet boy’

he’s actually the one that brings it up and shows you immediately when he hears the sound

he’ll be like, “is this what you think of me?”

and he’s joking but you know he can be self-deprecating sometimes 

“of course not, babe...well, sometimes. only when you’ve short circuited.”

he appreciates your honesty but still looks kinda sad about it 

you get closer, and caress the sides of his head to make him look at you

“you are a sweet boy, though. you’re my sweet boy.” and then you make him giggle by giving him eskimo kisses 

he wants you to film a video with the sound while his brain is fried 

at first you’re like, “are you sure?”

and he says he wants to keep it to remind him how great you are when you’re not around

he’s too cute so you agree

he makes himself short circuit pretty easily and without using his quirk by reading one of momo’s books with a lot of large, confusing words in it

you start the video and look him in the eyes to say the first part while holding his face

on the ‘sweet boy’ part you pull him to rest his head on your shoulder while your stroke his hair carefully

after you stop the video and he calms down he watches it and thinks it’s cute that you continue to hold him even though he emits small waves of electricity that can shock you 

“you’re the best s/o, you know that? i love you so much, my wonderful buzzy babe.” and he hugs you real tight

you offer to let him post it if he wants 

“no way, this is too special to share with anyone else.”

he is such a sweet boy >.<

amajiki 

thought about this one long and hard bc there’s honestly nothing cuter than this shy boi 

but ultimately 

‘you’re my honey bunch sugar plum pumpy-umpy-umpkin you’re my sweetie pie’

he doesn’t understand why you associate him with it when you show him

“because you’re so cute and precious, especially when you get all nervous and shy”

he disagrees, “no, bunny, i think you’re the cute and precious one here.” 

easily starts a ‘no you’re cuter’ war between you two 

but then he suddenly gets really nervous

“you’re, you’re uh, not gonna post a video about me, are you?” 

you’re like, ‘of course not’ but that doesn’t stop you from singing the song to him everytime hes being a cutie 

which is like, everyday 

and he thinks it’s equally embarrassing 

“bunny, please. i, i know you love that song, but i want to be cool.”

he just doesn’t get it

“but you’re both cool and cute, tamaki. the duality of you is one of the many reasons why i love you so much. i may be cute but i could never be as cool as you.” 

he’s so red in the face but he has to take the chance to kiss you with everything he has 

because if he can’t say it at first, he just feels it and does it 

“i love you so much, too, bunny. and you’re cute and so many other w-wonderful things. please never forget that.”

in conclusion *exhales* i love tamaki amajiki 

dabi 

two words: simp scream

you know what i’m talking about 

that’s the only sound i think about when i see this man

it’s either this or the one that’s like ‘sometimes bad things happen to people with nice tits’

but anyway so...simp scream 

one time you decided to make a tiktok with that sound while you two were getting ready for bed 

you’re just lying there, all innocent, and start filming right before he pulls his shirt off

he turns over to you with your phone propped up on your stomach

smirks once he realizes you’re filming and walks over to you as the ‘WOW w o w’ part plays 

you’re able to catch all of it before he gets on top of you, hovering above with a devilish smirk still present on his marred face

your phone falls against your stomach when he pins your hands down to the mattress

“what do you think you’re doing, hm princess?”

and before you answer he’s already leaning down to kiss and nip at your neck

you giggle as you reply, “nothing...just admiring my favorite burnt boy”

“well,” he lifts his head back up but remains close to your face, speaking seductively

“if you wanted to make a video with me, babydoll,” he kisses your lips slowly

“all you had to do was ask...”

[the rest of this headcanon was redacted bc mans too hot]

how we feeling on this lovely bnha night?? send all your desires and requests..

[rapunzelfromthemoon]

The Lunar Chronicles fancast pt.2

Here's my part 2 with Cress, Thorne, Winter, Jacin and Iko!

Cress (age 16):

Kyla Matthews (2004. Canadian) She has played a character similar to Cress on Anne with an E.

Jade Pettyjohn (2000. American) She can sing.

Both of them are pretty short too: Kyla at 1.55 cm or 5'1 and Jade at 1.52 cm or 5'0.

Thorne (age 20):

Froy Gutierrez (1998. American. Half mexican) Note: he is one of the popular casts that have been around for years and I just have to agree.

Matt Cornett (1998. American) It's the stubble for me. Shoutout to my sister @frozen-orbit for recommending him.

Winter (age 17):

Marsai Martin (2004. American) She is my favorite out of all my casts. She is exactly like I imagined Winter, and also a great actress. And there's her beauty: if there was a face that people would write songs and poems about, I feel like it would be this one.

Lovie Simone Oppong (1998. American) The age here is a problem, but I included her bc look at the red lips omg.

Jacin (age 19):

Mitchell Hoog (1999. American) He is also a model. He has rocked the ponytail hairstyle too. He was training to be a snowboarder. Not related at all but I wanted to mention it lol

Louis Partridge (2003. British) I have nothing to say he just... gives me Jacin vibes

Not extremely satisfied with this one honestly but yeah. Obviously picture both of them with white-ish blonde hair.

Iko

I wasn't sure about putting my Iko fancasts because they're pretty much the same as everyone else's. I have no reasons to disagree about China Anne McClain (1998) as her. And also as @whimsicalxdragons noted, she's designed as an escort droid so probably she looks older than a teenager (otherwise maybe it would be a little weird), so I also agree with the popular opinion of Keke Palmer (1993) for her. Also I loved these pictures of them <3

These are the only characters I did for now but maybe one day I'll try and cast some others! Hope you liked it :)))

Here's part 1 with the explanation of my criteria for this somehow age-accurate casting: https://rapunzelfromthemoon.tumblr.com/post/664003430640140288/i-did-a-the-lunar-chronicles-fancast

Final note: these are the physical descriptions that I tried to base my research on: https://we-should-pour-rice-in-her-head.tumblr.com/post/157307373947/things-i-think-people-need-to-remember-these-are

[notyixiangs]

this is interesting! do take what i said with a grain of salt because i wrote it while sleep deprived in like a 6 am yapping session, it wasnt meant to be a well thought out thesis/ dissertation kind of thing

i agree with some of the points u made btw:

- yes i dont think mu qing is nice but he is kind. thats what i tried to convey in my og post too. i guess some of it is arguing about semantics but in my book/my definition of the word, he is kind & has good intentions towards those he cares about (medicine scene, saving fx, cursed shackle...), he just doesn't admit to it and believes otherwise

- re: "cruelty" vs sarcastic attitude. yeah i probably worded that a little awry lol. i feel like more than anything he's cruel to himself as opposed to those around him but again, semantics, depending on how you define the word cruel. but my reading of the word is that he's definitely abrasive, sarcastic and cold & makes himself difficult to get along. but he doesnt actually intend to harm anyone severely, especially not those he cares about

- i also think he wants to be a good person! but i dont think its so blatant and on the surface for him... to me it's something he truly desires but it's sequestered deep under his skin. i do think he's developed the "not a good person" mentality and accepted it as self preservation but deep inside wants to be better because yes, of course its hurting him! (i think we agree there?) when i say subcutaneous i mean metaphorically its not immediately obvious on the surface. it's just that he himself would brush it off and coat it in resin & say oh its just bc im protecting myself (even though its in fact, self destructive). i think where we disagree is that you think he *knows* hes destroying himself this way but for me i think he needs a little nudge to admit that to himself sometimes- while i think he knows its hurting him greatly subconsciously, i also think hes faked & hidden it so much that hes even managed to "gaslight" himself into appearing indifferent about it (as well as convincing everyone around him that he isnt "good")

- about xie lian & mu qing's power imbalance pre xianle era. but i personally think xl didnt *purposefully* treat Mu Qing as a servant- he tried to be as accommodating as possible and he didnt have bad intentions per se. but intent ≠ consequence & the power imbalance still shows through & has affected mq deeply bc theres such a great discrepancy in their lived experiences & imo prince era xie lian had been quite ignorant as to what was going on even if he didnt mean it. i still do prefer the newer revised ver but thats a personal taste thing i guess.

soz im still sleep deprived rn so some of this might also be worded weird but thats my piece lol

in the end i reiterate alternative interpretations & readings are inevitable because theyre shaped by the individual readers experience but interesting to think about :)

i was saying this on my twitter so i’m just moving it here so that i can add more because the character count limit on twitter was bothering me but anyway

i think mu qing can be very contradictory when it comes to his perception of the self. ie he's insecure about himself and that there is an element of self dislike, but at the same time he has a very strong ego & feels wronged & undervalued by those around him. on one hand he thinks he deserves better from the world and what fate has dealt him and id say he even feels angry about the injustice of it all despite his insecurities. he's a very prideful person and takes pride in the things he knows he's capable at, but the pride also means he's particularly sensitive when his flaw are torn open & seen. but on the other hand, there are weaknesses about himself he strongly despises, and he is prone to jealousy/not feeling "enough". it's the strange mix of feeling like he's very capable but still berating himself because he could do better. he thinks he could surpass what fate's dictated for him so why hasn't he? but usually he sequesters all these insecurities away so they can't be seen, & encases himself behind this cool acerbic exterior such that only his capabilities shine through

re: him believing that he is not a good person & saying that there's no point in being one—i think he believes he is simply not a good person but for the most part meets this belief with indifference and treats it almost casually? almost like "this is just a fact take it or leave it" & he doesn't consciously think too much about it. but i think all this stems from him growing so accustomed to this belief for a very long time, which he'd only developed because he sees it as essential to survival. he indulges in fallacies like "there's no point in being kind" because it's a mode of self preservation and it's born from his disillusionment from being denied trust & leniency so many times. and since he has spent so long living behind that mask that he kind of melds into it to the point where it's hard to even distinguish where his "old", more vulnerable self ends and where his new "protected" one starts—hence he ends up believing he really just isn't a good person, but to him that's a fact that causes him surprisingly little grief at first glance

but i feel like deep down he wishes that maybe in another world he could be allowed to wear a softer skin, but he's accepted it doesn't work in this one. like i don't think he consciously thinks "i hate myself because i'm a bad person" since he thinks there's merit in sharpening his edges for self protection as long as he's left unperturbed. but the wish to be a better person is a more subcutaneous thing that he doesn't really see unless he's pushed to realize it imo

BUT what i do think is that when someone tries to treat him kindly & offer him tenderness for the 1st time in his life all that faux assurance would crumble because he isn't used to it and he doesn't understand how to accept nor face it. in a way it's like. he can justify (to himself) the act of being cruel because it's a way to combat the world being inherently cruel to him—but what happens when it isn't? what happens when someone subverts this entire idea of "all the world's out to get me so the only recourse is to hurt it before it can hurt me" and prove that wrong i think it'd rly shake him up and that's the moment when his insecurities and veiled self hatred would shine through

in the revised xlmq reconciliation, he says he refused to admit xie lian was a good person who had always held unconditionally kind intentions for mu qing because he wouldn't know face xie lian had he realized xl was kind. hence he convinced himself into thinking xie lian is faking his kindness and almost manufacturing a resentment towards xie lian, but admits that in the end bridge scene that this was all some twisted form of wishful thinking on his part

but then he turns around and contradicts himself because i think he IS kind to those who are innocent. he CAN BE A KIND PERSON!! imo he cares deeply for a select few people but just doesn't show it. he takes care of children & cares deeply for his mother but because of that belief that he just isn't kind & because he's so used to sponging all the world's damage by making himself cruel, the moment he's treated differently from what he thinks is the norm and given the slightest sliver of lenience he cannot handle it and all those axioms immediately crumble & then his world entirely subverts and he goes shit, how could i have ever even thought that way? i think there is a part of him that thinks he's destined to never find *affection* nor be treated gently specifically no matter how much he yearns for it

when he looks at people like xie lian who are extremely kind and forgiving i feel like there's a part of him that goes well. i know i can never measure up to that kind of "goodness" and i wish there was a world in which i could be like that but it's been proved impossible for me so its fine if i just stick to the pragmatic ideals i have (which aren't wrong, either). and i feel like pre-fall of xianle he can chalk this up to "well xie lian had it better than me which is why he can afford to be this kind but I can't afford to be like that and it's okay" but that gets flipped on its head because after everything xie lian has been through that argument just doesn't hold true for him anymore and some of his resentment comes from this "how could he live through all that and still remain true to his original idealistic values?" mindset. the new revised xlmq reconciliation is really interesting to me because in the old version he says something along the lines of "i can't change some of these twisted beliefs i have about you but in the end, i still admire you" whereas in the new (which i infinitely prefer) he says "these twisted beliefs i had about you were simply there because i made myself believe them or else i wouldnt know how to face you"

in the end my view of him is heavily shaped by my taste in fiction and the themes and character traits i like thinking about, the things i'm drawn in by, & my own experiences as well, in my head i usually only envision him as the version that i'm most interested in exploring which is actually a very very very flawed person. and it's like. idk. maybe my reading of him is different from what mxtx originally intended or different from what other people may derive from the source material but i think that's inevitable for any shared work of fiction

[2n2n]

everytime you make a post dunking on kou… I feel like I get 20 years of life back… I don’t hate kou!! I like him!! I like every single weird funky character in this weird funky manga… but it’s so refreshing, so cathartic!!! to get a kou post that ISN’T “precious sunshine best boy who’s better than X male character uwu” (UUUUGH). in other words: THANK YOU!! being a kinda shitty love interest to Mitsuba with his milquetoast bullying… kou’s annoying battle shounen protagonist traits… should be called out more… bc the fandom’s obnoxious about him and I’m too petty these days to care lol

HAHA ah how funny, I mean, yeah. I'm also always just thirsty for an original take, even if it isn't one I agree with or feel super hard. I'm glad someone's amused by it.

With Mitsuba I'm like, "omg Mitsuba doesn't need this CAVEMAN RIGHT NOW, help".... Mitsuba responds best to Yashiro, who is peaceful & passive.... and despite everything, Tsukasa does coddle/baby Mitsuba, which is what he legitimately asks people to do ("Take care of me, PYON!").... I have no idea what Kou's shitty screaming really does.... and then he says such horrible things in Picture Perfect, and then he's legit terrible at listening/paying attention....... Mitsuba will be emotional and. Kou is going to throw a fucking rock at his head, PLEASE, YOU NEANDERTHAL, ARE YOU NOT CAPABLE OF JUST HUGGING HIM ..... ??? He's really more of a 'pure goodboy' with Yashiro..... but that's boring and she's not into him, so eat it, Kou. She likes the bad boy tragic murderer. Why does he love to yell insults at Mitsuba. Why must we call the guy who had no friends and died alone girly and annoying. I know Mitsuba kinda sucks but I don't get it. I should hope if I died as a lonely ghost someone wouldn't come around me to be like, "you're a bitch and dress weird". Well I did die alone so I do know that. What the hell Kou................................................................. the Minamoto clan are beasts.......................................................... we must end them now, before they traumatize more souls for eternity

.......................nonetheless their (Mitsuba/Kou) fates/arcs are obviously tied, so there must be a plan. A novel endgame. It's one of the few things in this manga I have 0 predictions for. Like, I have more predictions about Teru, Tiara, and Aoi. I just have no clue where thisssss dynamic crests at. Kou has been AT A SNAILS PACE gradually wrestling with the bogus belief system he so proudly touted in Picture Perfect (God am I waiting for him to regret saying all that he did there-- HE SLOWLY HAS BEEN)....but like, we must be 'saving' whatever his eventual epiphany about personhood and identity will be, for later........... probably whatever conclusion he's CRAWLING to, about Mitsuba's authenticity, is going to tie into whatever epiphany he and Yashiro have to reach about Tsukasa's identity & authenticity. Them both contesting with the little Tsukasa's contradictory existence, surely will fold into how they have to process if Tsukasa 'is' Tsukasa, and how they should regard Mitsuba.... so odd that in PP, in the very moments Kou is rejecting Mitsuba as 'the real Mitsuba', doubling down on declaring his fakeness, Yashiro is naturally folding 'Amane' and 'Hanako' into one person. the chad Yashiro!!!

*shakes my head, snapping out of a haze* where was I? Oh right....

YOU KNOW, I don't even hate Kou. There are characters in other media I actively could say I hate, but, baseline everyone's interesting in JSHK, and I don't feel I disagree with the entire world's function and shape. We need someone like him to embellish the story-- that is-- someone so fucking dense and slow at grasping the world's shapes. But I am naturally exhausted by Kou and watching him crawl his way up to speed is sometimes tedious. I would like to take him to task and see him knocked down a peg-- in manga and out-- and I mean-- of all characters, he can take it, he doesn't have many problems, lol. He feels like the perfect guy to be frustrated with. Guy's got a beautiful family who loves him emphatically, spends every Tanabata or w/e in bliss with brudder and sisser, he can deal with me pushing him into a gutter.

I feel you on just being a bit tired of hearing the same things over and over... I feel like ah, groupthink in general is a real modern fandom problem, actually. If I'm being honest.... it often is something where all sides are doing something like...... hmm... "I am a nasty gross person, and I love this nasty gross character who is nasty and gross!" and then the other side is like, "I'm a good and honorable person, and I love good and honorable characters." Haha. But it's all sortof equally reductive, isn't it? You'll have one side stanning Tsukasa and believing he's an irredeemable rapist... and another side stanning Kou and believing he's composed of pure virtue...... or something like that. Isn't it boring....? Soooo boring... I don't like any of it....

Neither winds up feeling very genuine, or very interested in the actual written narratives, or the fiber of the characters in a meaningful way. It all comes across kinda phony, don't it? Or put-on? For-show? Whether its to show off how Bad you be, or how Good you be. It's odd when everyone all converges on one perspective. Loving Kou, Mitsuba, Aoi, hating Hakubo, Tsukasa, whatever.... weird, right? I never knew it to be like this, when I was younger.... I felt like me and all my friends would walk into a manga, and come out of it all liking wildly different things. Sometimes it feels like, maybe people are more 'fans' of the 'fandom', than 'fans' of the media itself, you know? Spending more time in servers of 200 people all chatting, reblogging each other's posts, and... less time rereading the thing itself.

It's not all of fandom, at least. Frankly spanish-speaking fandom seems completely unchanged from how it used to be and seems much chiller, more individual and sentimental ... well, so is JP, KR, CH fandom haha, who are making the MMD/AMV/etc I adore. Lots of original concepts and fanwork to parooze on pixiv and bilibili, thank god. But walking into eng spaces for 1 second, I see a lot of Kou suddenly. And I'm like.... this lame ass? Why??? Because he occasionally says pure things and is sad he's not strong like his cop brother??? Because he swings a sword?? Because he punches Mitsuba?? lol. I do have a little more taking him to task to do about a few things, but I keep having to try again at rewording a post to sound more neutral, 'cuz I get too annoyed with him hahahaha. Maybe I'll give up soon and just let it be what it is. I WANT TO BE NEUTRAL *SHAKES FIST* IMPARTIAL...

I had never 'observed' any of the fandom at all, I read it blind. I kinda live in a bubble with my husband..... I didn't catch sight of much of it actually until the Sumire/Hakubo arc. It felt like out of the woodwork came 200 Kou stans, I was like, whaaaaat??? it felt soooo out of left field, unpredictable, bizarre!?!? Like a wild coincidence. Like I lifted up a log and there was a new sort of bug in the THOUSANDS congregating. Weird! I didn't expect everyone to sound like clones of one another.... so weird.... eerie.... freaky....

Totally sounding like a codger though, so forget me.

I always want me disliking anything to just be funny.

He's most interesting for me in the Ghost Hotel AU, where for some reason he's completely insane and ripping off Mitsuba's limbs to add to soups. I also want whatever the hell this is to come back around:

but maybe I just want to make things more difficult for people who love him, haha. They should have to put up with something......

[pumpkinpaix]

this is gonna sound so harsh but im legit tired of chinese diaspora people who think that bc they are of chinese descent and they have pleco they can act like voices of authority in the fandom. if modao is the 1st chinese book you have read pieces of with a dictionary, if you have never interacted with the actual chinese fandom, you are not part of the intended audience and your biased opinion is not the One And Only Valid Truth 🍵

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree | this is really hard for me to express in terms of an agree/disagree axis lol

genuinely cannot tell if you’re trying to shade me here anon lmao 😂

this got long and rambly (of course) asldkjfslj. i would love to make the excuse that it’s bc i’ve got a migraine and had No Sleep but. let’s be real i’m always like this.

ok i’ll start with where i agree: i don’t think anyone has the right to act like an ultimate voice of authority in fandom. i think different people with different backgrounds have varying realms of expertise and they should be respected when they share that knowledge, but that the instant someone starts to use that kind of power as a weapon against people they personally don’t like, i think they forfeit that privilege. no one has the one and only valid truth about a piece of media because that’s fundamentally impossible. i have definitely interacted with diaspo who behave like their heritage gives them some kind of incontrovertible authority over everyone else, and they’re fucking insufferable and often rather cruel, even/especially towards other diaspo. meet me in the denny’s parking lot and fight me for real. i’ll kick ur ass. >:c

however, I also think it’s true that there’s a lot of dismissal of heritage fans in this fandom, if that makes sense, from both sides of the equation: non-Chinese fans ignore our cultural hangups because they’re inconvenient, and non-diaspora disdain us for being not Chinese enough. that puts a lot of us in a position of feeling disrespected just for being who we are, or having our very real knowledge and unique experience as individuals devalued because of it.

regardless of my identity, I have formally studied a lot of things: literary translation, media analysis, the politics of oppression, film critique, religious studies, philosophy, four foreign languages etc. and that is all knowledge that I had to work for, and work hard for. I do have a certain measure of authority on all of these subjects over a layperson (to varying degrees), and there are going to be times when i will be more correct than someone who disagrees with me -- but I’ve also absolutely experienced people talking over that specialized knowledge because of who I am, which is, to be clear. extremely infuriating and hurtful. like, i have cried so much about it in the last 18 months. people see my racial and cultural identity before they see anything else, which is understandable to a degree, but upsetting when it becomes the basis for how my work is judged, whether positive or negative. i don’t want you to trust me blindly because i’m abc. I want to you to trust me because you have examined my work critically and judged it to be trustworthy!

so i guess this is getting into the strongly disagree part of the answer: i’ve been speaking a lot with other diaspora fans lately, and it’s been simultaneously hugely relieving and also really saddening. relieving because oh thank god someone else Gets It, and saddening because pretty much all of us, no matter what kind of diaspo we are (north american, european, SEA, taiwanese etc), we’ve all experienced a lot of pressure in this fandom, from non-Chinese, Chinese, and other diaspora fans alike. we’re all acutely aware that we are not modao’s intended audience because being diaspora vs being “from the mainland” or whatever, are actually quite different things, but modao still feels close to home. even if it was not written FOR us it is still familiar to us.

and, because so many of us are multilingual and multicultural, we end up being the bridge between the “actual” chinese fandom and the english-speaking fandom, which is largely made up of non-chinese. (sidenote: I hate it when people say things about being “actually” any identity because it’s almost always for the exact reason you brought up: to use heritage as street cred. it’s like damn, being “actually” chinese doesn’t make ur opinions any less rank. sure you might be “actually” chinese, but do you have basic reading comprehension and literary criticism skills? no? ok then sit your ass back down) many of us are most comfortable in english! so we produce our content in english! but we also DO often have a somewhat privileged access to the culture that underlies mdzs and can explain it in a language that other non-Chinese fans can understand. so it’s not surprising that people flock to us for answers to their cultural questions. and like. if we think we know the answer, it’s natural for us to try and help. this is fandom! we’re here to have fun and find community! and it is definitely a little bit nice to have my culture treated as something desirable for once instead of just like. a weird exotic curiosity that no one really cares too deeply about. and, since a lot of us are able to do things that non-Chinese fans can’t (research in chinese, for example. ask family members for help and more information etc.) we end up just having more information to share.

I think this sometimes results in a tendency for fandom at large to put heritage/diaspo fans on pedestals and tout them as authorities (or use our conflicting viewpoints as ammunition in fandom drama) when the diaspo in question have repeatedly stated that they should not be taken as authorities on something -- and then, once you reach critical mass, your reputation starts to precede you, and I think there’s a lot of misconceptions of how a lot of diaspo act in this fandom simply because of that phenomenon. most of us know that we’re not ultimate arbiters of some kind of cultural gateway, and it can be very tiring both to be treated as such when we insist we are not, and then punished by other people who assume that we acted like we were.

i don’t think there’s a benefit in trying to keep en fandom and cn fandom totally separate, and I also think it’s unfair to consider the cn fandom the “real” fandom. i think that way lies deeper misunderstandings, gatekeeping, etc. i think we can definitely acknowledge the differences between them, but i think trying to make meaningful connections between fandom circles is really valuable! i don’t think i’ve ever made it a secret that modao is my first cmedia fandom? so it’s also the first time i’ve had reason to interact with chinese fandom, which has been super enlightening and interesting! i’ve made some super cool friends and learned a lot about how fandom works in china, how it’s similar and how it differs from the fandom i’m familiar with.

and then, kind of circling back around, there’s also a bit of a sense like, okay, so if diaspo don’t belong in the CN fandom, but we can’t talk about our own culture with some degree of confidence in EN fandom, then like..... where do we go...? if we see EN fandom doing something that contradicts our cultural knowledge, do we just. not say anything? do we not count unless we’ve already ingratiated ourselves to CN fandom? that’s probably where the core of my strong disagreement comes from, because criticism of diaspora fans as like, acting above their station so to speak, feels just like a tired continuation of the same shit we’ve had to deal with for our whole lives, being told we’re not good enough for anywhere and that we should just be quiet and keep our heads down and get over it. that our opinions, despite coming from a unique perspective with a unique relationship to the subject in question, are less valid or real than “actual” chinese people, you know? and sometimes i see that and im like lmfao just sneer at me for being jook-sing and leave then if you’re so eager to think of me as lesser.

so yeah, basically im of a few minds: true! diaspora fans don’t get to throw their weight around just because they’re diaspo. they don’t get carte blanche to act like bullies or try to shape the fandom to their own personal liking and crusade against people who disagree with them. they don’t get to pretend their heritage makes them superior to everyone else, and i think western diaspora especially need to be careful when asserting any kind of moral lens over the text to acknowledge that we have our own biases to interrogate. i am not immune.meme etc. on the other hand, this vein of criticism tends to put all diaspo in a bit of a double-bind, and also, however unintentionally, plays into the general, continuous trend of dismissing diaspora for being diaspora, and i’m really not about that. i don’t think that’s the motivation behind opinions like this, but i do think that when the basis for the argument hinges on the idea that diaspora are not “real” chinese, no matter how much I too have beef with certain diaspora fans, the argument needs to be revisited. 

(ko-fi)

🍵 ((un)popular) opinions meme

[egg-emperor]

I’ve noticed over the years that some people send hcs or theories to users like the op is supposed to automatically agree with them- even if they’ve already not before- like someone trying desperately to give you a sales pitch, other times the asker is using the op as a test to see if the asker’s hcs are canon? I’ve always found that weird but it still definitely happens.

Point is people on the internet have a tendency to not understand that not everyone’s hcs and thoughts on characters are the same, and as long as that’s true you’ll always probably rub someone wrong with character opinions. It’s something that’s just outside your control, which is why I see people limit themselves to small corners of fandom interaction more often then not.

It’s charming to see your eggman stuff on the regular honestly, you don’t need to stop being the way you are just because people don’t understand how hcs work and how just bc you like certain iterations of a character doesn’t mean you like all of them, if people are bothered they just need to unfollow you, you’re very clear and upfront about things here

You put some of the exact thoughts I've had for a while into words in ways that I couldn't really well. It does feel like some people do that and I don't get it either because like, when you send someone ideas and ask for their thoughts, that's what they're going to give and you can't expect them to always agree. It's not like they need my approval to feel, think, and believe what they want, so it should just be about asking for my honest thoughts after just pitching theirs to me, whether it's in agreement or not. It should be asked out of genuine interest, not as some kind of test.

I'm only honest in my responses and I try to be careful and clear that disagreeing doesn't mean I have anything against them or that they should change what they're doing because of me, yet people still accuse while trying to do the very exact thing to me. It's like what am I supposed to do, lie and always pretend to agree? I think that would actually be worse than going "I have a different opinions and ideas to yours and here's mine like you asked for, but I respect your different takes." I value honesty in others, so I show it myself too.

There's no point in asking people for thoughts if they're only expected to feel one certain way and any sensible and polite disagreements or differences of opinion aren't acceptable. But yeah, unfortunately it happens. I've even been accused of making jabs at specific people simply by throwing in my own two cents on subjects just because I felt the most differently and then treated like an outcast. But I don't want to be in a hive mind, I want to be around people with all kinds of interesting interpretations, thoughts, and opinions and be free to share my own.

I've always embraced differences and I really don't think I'm anywhere near as abrasive as people make me out to be sometimes, it's just that they wish I'd agree instead. And yet I have low empathy that I have no control over. I'm very passionate and firm in my beliefs but I never have harmful intentions or anything bad to say about those that think and feel differently, as long as they respect me too. And I try to be careful with my words but I guess the tone is difficult to convey through text and often misinterpreted, or it's my forwardness and bluntness, I suppose.

And yeah I've seen a lot of people limit themselves or even stop sharing opinions altogether and pride themselves on it but nah, I know I can't be that guy. I used to hold back on what I wanted to say, was afraid to ever disagree, and I let people walk all over me and got hurt. And maybe I was liked more that way but I feel much more free now and I can't let people like that make me go back into the corner when I'm happier being honest and openly passionate and confident in it. That's what I want to accomplish and be proud of instead.

That's really comforting, I appreciate it. I was feeling bad about my whole existence after what was said about both my Eggman love posts and thoughts/opinions/hcs posts last night and it's a relief to be told I don't have to stop being myself to fit into what's expected from others, and that my headcanons and opinions don't make me inherently wrong and unlikable just for being honest and true to myself in ways I'm not even sure how I'd change. I'm going to keep reminding myself of that and not let people like that get me down. I needed this, thank you. 💜

[marshmallowprotection]

hey kait do you mind if just. go insane over here.

like, you see, i hate getting into arguments/drama/conflict. i hate it so much it causes me physical discomfort. it's horrible, really, like my heart clenches and breathing gets ejsjsksm (idk how to explain) and i start crying and i feel so terribly upset and icky for the rest of the day. its insane. and yet i still somehow manage to always, ALWAYS, get into it (more like i start it tbh but hcndbd) and it's always SO BAD. and the worst part is that right now, it's shipping discourse. SHIPPING DISCOURSE. can you believe this? this is like, the low of the low. jesus christ. i am actually feeling like shit over shipping discourse oh my god. and it's on TWO (2) social media platforms, as if it couldn't get any worse. now obviously i can't retreat, i have entirely too much pride for that, like that would be super embarrassing. i would rather get death threats, on god. so instead i settle for feeling like shit and also getting called crazy by other ppl. but anyways the whole thing is theres this ship in a fandom i rlly like and it's a pretty popular ship, every time those characters get any kind of content together everyone agrees that they're gay, you know? but i hate that ship and it feels creepy as hell to me. bc the characters met when one of them was 14 and the other 17 and they're currently 19 and 22. and i think that shipping them is weird bc one of them has been an adult for a while now and the other is just now becoming one, and like, the idea of the an adult catching feelings for a teenager they've known for a while right after they become legal has very groomy creepy vibes to it. i thought that this was something everyone agreed with. so i said it. but it turns out im wrong. and now ppl are telling me that "ppl can fall in love at any age" "they're both adults so it doesn't matter" and "they're almost canon anyways" like i dont care! i dont care. i dont give a single fuck your ship still sucks ass. and like clearly you can tell im not planning to change my mind anytime soon (bc i dont have to! im right!! jesus could come from heaven to tell me its okay and i would still say it isn't!!!!! bc it isn't!!!!!!!) but im also lowkey beginning to feel like im crazy? idk bro im exhausted

sorry for the huge rant i've been frustrated the whole day 😭 honestly even sending this is making me cry again bc im now paranoid that everyone is gonna disagree lol 😂

GE Saeran is always your rock. When you start to even show a hint of being distressed, he springs into action. He asks you if you want to be held and if you confirm that that is what you want, he's happy to put his arms around you with a sigh. You can have faith in him if you have nothing else.

He'll press lips against your forehead and murmur sweet nothings until you know, without a doubt, that you're going to be okay by the morning. "That's right, my love. Slow down, take a big breath, and remember that you're safe with me. If you need to cry, I will hold you until your tears stop."

Jaehee can be anxious when it comes to knowing what she can do for the people she cares about. She knows the natural do-good and can make sure that you've got water, blankets, and a cozy place to sit in the dark. She may not know what to say but she knows what will help physically.

Her ideal way of comforting you comes down to sitting side by side in the living room, curtains drawn back, sharing drinks, watching your favorite movie, and just talking about whatever feels right at that very moment. "I know it's not the best feeling in the world, but I'm here to listen if you want to talk. I don't have anywhere to be and I'd love to have my night spent making you feel safe."