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kswhateverspace · 4 years ago

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The Ruby and Christina Discord Drama

To my followers who have no idea what this is about, feel free to ignore this if you’d like. This is a long post showing everything that went down with the kicking of 3 members in a discord I’m a member and Admin of. I will share a bit, and then the rest will be under a cut.

Jaye (hernameisjaye/ @reneesgoldsberry) and I didn’t feel it necessary to address the kicks of the server publicly and just thought things would die down and people would move on. That doesn’t seem to be the case and so while I don’t want to give any attention to Krow (grimreich666), the continued attack of Dandybear has made this post necessary. On December 9th, 2020, 1 member was kicked from the discord. Michele (kerozenangel). She was kicked specifically because of this post she made

It was incredibly rude to all the writers in the discord and also @/everyone about it. The removal at this time was specifically to protect the mental well being of the writers who occupied the discord. In addition, for being continually antagonistic in discussions with other members.

Jaye and I are not big on public warnings in regards to someone’s character and the way one thinks. The only thing we correct is off topic discussion and only if it gets out of hand. Behind the scenes we talk a lot if certain members are acting up, and mentally keep track on how many instances are occurring, if behavior seems to be improving etc. You don’t see it, but when issues arise it is discussed, usually in length, and then we decide how to proceed. We also don’t publicly report when a complaint is sent to one of us about a member, but we have been sent them and they are taken into consideration.

On December 11th 2020, 2 members were kicked from the discord. Krow (grimreich666) and RVCBard (eshusplayground)

There is quite a bit to unpack here, but I am first going to address the tumblr post Krow made. I never planned on replying, just letting it go. But Krow continues to antagonize a member (dandybear) of the discord who had NO involvement in her removal from the Discord and it’s time all sides are put out for those who are not aware, or those who don’t have the full story to judge. I will be addressing the youtube video at the very end of this post.

I’m going to address the tumblr post in question in sections.

“So it has come to my attention that we cannot have a civil conversation in the Ruby and Chirstina Fandom. Nearly a month ago I gave up my own small Ruby and Chirstina Discord to join another manged by Kswhateverspace.”

Civil discussions are had all the time, what occurred began as a civil discussion until Krow made it personal by telling Jaye to learn her own black history. That was the reason for the kick. Personal attack. I will post screenshots of the entire encounter at the end. As for managed by me, I am just an admin, and did not start out that way. I offered to help organize the discord and tried to create events to make things a bit easier to navigate and more fun. I originally invited Krow to this discord after seeing people asking for links on tumblr to it.

No one was asked to give up any server, it was simply an open invitation.

“I thought that the community would be a good place to vibe with other members of the Ruby and Chirstina community. At first it was welcoming until I started writing my own Fan Fic for the Ruby and Chirstina ship. It had been users by the name of Dandybear and Agent Sheryl and a few others started to bury the work I posted and they would shade me, barely would I get comments on my work because they would fill the submission page with there personal conversations.Now I’ve written two novels professionally and I am working on a third and out of my 15 years of writing I can safely assess when somebody is trying to blackball or bury someone’s work because there work isn’t meeting up to snuff. And as for me I always supported their work because Christina and Ruby content benefits everyone, now I didn’t get into AO3 for the comments I did it because I love Chrisby.”

This is completely not true. There is a channel I created dedicated to posting work only, exactly to prevent the burying of work. Krow would actually break the rule from time to time of that channel, which is that it’s for links to works only, not discussion of said works. There is a separate channel to discuss. Despite the breaking of the rule, I never actually removed her creator role and instead just let it slide. Also, “Shading” never occurred.

“Yet it was only a week ago that me and a few others we noticed the mean girls clique right away as it consisted of Danybear, Frankie, Kswhateverspace and Agent Sheryl, who had came from my server to join.”

I want to address this on a personal level. I have literally spoken to Krow on a voice call, for 2 hours, with Frankie also in attendance, as well as Agent Sheryl. We had been doing the drop a random pin on the map game and it was a pretty fun time. Prior to this instance, I didn’t have the most favorable view of Krow as she tended to not have a filter when posting and I wasn’t always comfortable by what that was, however, I take my role as admin seriously, and in particular being a white woman in a predominantly black server, I never wished to step on anyone’s toes or out of line. Any worries or concerns I ever had or have, I always defer and clear with Jaye. After this game, I became more comfortable in general with her presence in the discord, but she continued to post fairly unfiltered views that would generally derail a discussion etc. and overall behavior within the discord did not make for a very comfortable place a lot of the time. I say this as myself, and from fellow members at the time of instances. I was at war with myself on this a lot of the time because I was the one who invited Krow, but no one can predict how people will be or mesh.

At this part of the post I will address Krow’s accusation that Dandybear “shaded her”. The screencap Krow uses at the end of her post.

In case it isn’t clear, You is a tv show and not literally @ Krow in case that’s what was thought.

“The egregious abuse of power there Admin and Owner Hernameisjaye is sickening; as her rampage all started on Thursday when Jaye went on a rant saying that Christina was racist. And to me and another black female members acknowledged her opinion but we disagreed with it as we had watched the show several times and understood the premise of the timeline within the Jim Crow Era. Not wanting to fight we had calmly stated our disagreement to her baseless claim and yet she still would not let up even after we have both took the high road as mature adults to leave the conversation.”

I will let screenshots of the entire discussion speak for themselves. I will preface the screenshots with the rules of the discord, which were last edited on December first.

I’ll speak on rule 6 here.

“In the event that we decide to kick/ban a specific user, that individual will receive a message from the admin team notifying them of the final decision.”

At then end of the day, Jaye and I decided to not inform those who were kicked the reason. It wouldn’t have changed the result and in all honesty, we were tired. If an issue wants to be taken up with that, it’s valid. However, no result would’ve been undone.

In most channels on the server, there are pinned messages about what a channel is for as well. This channel was always intended to be a difficult discussion channel, and those that enter are agreeing to engage in difficult discussions as it relates to the show. Krow broke rule 2 by making it personal. You can see the whole chain below. As for RVC, she made it clear she was no longer comfortable in the server and didn’t trust the admins, and decided to turn a situation that didn’t directly involve her to be about her.

After this, RVCBard was kicked. Throughout the life of the discord RVC was consistently combative and antagonistic towards members who’s views or opinions she didn’t agree with. Or if someone disagreed with her. It was an issue that would flare up often, but looked past because we wanted the server to be inclusive even at the detriment to the overall health of the server. We received multiple complaints from different members about RVC with the average complaint being that she made the user uncomfortable due to her approach to different discussions in varying channels. All of the above was taken into consideration that night, and was essentially the final straw.

And despite not being comfortable with approaching mods, she sent me the following after all this went down.

For clarification, I was not present at the time and woke up to multiple messages and had to catch up on my own.

In the past, RVCBard had contacted me with an issue she saw in the server.

I talked it over with Jaye, and it was decided thirsting channels would be created to help address the problem. I show this as an example of good faith that when issues are brought to our attention, we look into it and do something about it if we’re able.

“It wasn’t long ago nearly 48 hours after I lost a family member that was dear to me that this mess ensued, I didnt carry my personal issues into conversation as I enjoy Christina and Ruby as a get away. Yet it is damn near sickening how an Admin can kick someone without warning because your losing an arguement. This isn’t an after-school special and it’s sad that this show that delivers it’s take on Black History and pain cannot be understood even by the simplest of minds, as they are too busy oversexualizing and insulting the Ruby and Chirstina Ship to understand that we see Christina and her flaws as well. I own 2 Discords myself and NEVER would I go out my way to make somebody feel uncomfortable like the way they did me.”

I was offline and asleep for the majority of this night. And this was the reaction to the news of her family member.

While the loss of her family member is tragic, and I sympathize with the loss, it is not a free pass. The kick happened because of hostility and personal attack. With a history of problematic behavior.

I wish to highlight this part from that paragraph

“as they are too busy oversexualizing and insulting the Ruby and Chirstina Ship”

I honestly have no idea who this is supposed to even be at. The entire discord is dedicated to Ruby and Christina. Oversexualizing? Really? Acknowledging Christina’s racism, in whatever form it presented itself in, is in fact seeing Christina and her flaws.

It is at this point I’d like to share the message Krow sent me after her removal and my response.

Now onto the video that was posted Jan 1st, 2021 that has resparked the drama. Which, the video is actually the worst offense done so far. I will address particularly awful points with timestamps that you can reference for yourself. Credit to @femeivor for helping with grabbing timestamps as I’ve stayed up incredibly late writing this all up.

To highlight the targeting that is going on in this video, I would first like to present the controversy surrounding LITTD chapter 5. Dandybear upon receiving valid criticism of her story replied with the following, which Krow decided to piggyback on.

With that shown, let's get onto the video titled “Dear AO3 Fanfic Writers”

1:41 - "there was this whole thing where they couldn't have a mature conversation as adults and decided to kick me and several other group members out for not feeling that way"

- If you’ve made it this far, you know how exaggerated this is.

2:10 - Says a couple of writers from the server are "abyssmal and you know it comes from their fucking area"

- Spoiler alert, at the end of this video she says her discord is a place to not be judged.

6:54 - huge rant about people having Christina be William in their fics even though that's canon compliant

- For this I shall simply copy and paste her own fic’s summary:

- When Ruby get's the chance of a lifetime to change her life working under Tic's strange yet introvert distant cousin Christina, she gets more than she bargained for. As Christina a well known lawyer struggles to free herself from her fathers abusive shadow after the death of her brother William and her elder brother Caleb; she seeks to gain control over the lodge her father has denied her as his only heir. Yet first Christina must clear her father and lodge members names a task that seems all to impossible under the watchful eye of her fathers righthand-man; yet such a task is proving itself to be difficult as she is taken by her new P.A. As Ruby finds out how to read the strange yet alluring Christina, a waiting William comes to make her dreams come true yet are all dreams true; yet she is sucked into into a world of wizards and dangerous turns. Can love come at such a time, or will the half-truths threaten to rip the two apart?

- I will also add here my OWN comment on said story

https://archiveofourown.org/comments/357964615

8:00 - straight up calling out Davenports, just not by name.

8:30 - says it's "disgusting" to have Christina spend a lot of time as William which is, again, canon compliant

11:00 - calls some fanfics "crap" and "torture porn for the soul"

11:14 - "I'm not trying to stifle creativity!"

- *stares into the camera like I’m in the Office *

11:33 - calls out a fic for including attempted rape when she has previously praised a fic that included CSA

11:50 - "you don't really understand these characters, you don't really understand her at all"

- Christina is not given some EPIC backstory in the show and literally no one knows that much about her. Only what we can perceive and deduce. Aka, tons of headcanons from everyone.

13:00 - now telling people what they should be writing instead

13:34 - mockingly calling out Dandybear again, this time with more than one fic

14:10 - once again telling people what they should be writing

14:30 - mocking people for writing smut then says “I don’t caaare - I mean I like that - I love smut….is that it?”

14:55 - "and I notice that some of you guys start out so great in your fics and then it goes down hill!"

- Is this encouragement or stifling creativity?

15:13 - calling out another fic

- I’m tired, are you tired?

15:33 - "Who the fuck writes this shit? Oh my fucking god! Are you guys just dumb? Are you guys stupid?"

16:00 - "Some of you wanna tag and say 'this is a Ruby and Christina Discord server [mocking noises] and if you don't agree with us we're gonna kick you out for no fucking reason!' You know? Shut the fuck up!"

- And if you’re THIS far, you very well know the reason and it definitely wasn’t NONE

16:16 - "you obviously don't know what Ruby and Christina mean to real fucking die hard fans"

- I personally love a classic gatekeep.

17:06 - "But for some of y'all to write these disturbing, disgusting fanfictions"

17:54 - calling writers racist for including racist characters in their fanfics for a show that included a lot of racism.

18:41 - says people are wasting her time because they're writing fics that she doesn't want to read.

18:49 - "This isn't for all fanfic writers. This is only for a couple of 'em. You know who the fuck some of y'all are. And shame on you for even doing this and writing this and trying to fucking push this kind of fanfic and this garbage off."

- If you’re gonna keep beating a dead horse and bringing up drama that you created again and again, start saying people’s names instead of hiding behind blanket statements.

19:07 - "And that's the whole problem why I decided to do Krows Korner. Because I'm so sick of these fandoms and even some of these professional writers running their ass around here, delivering garbage and people being a bunch of sheeple to say that this shit is the greatest shit ever. Honey, it's either you have dyslexia or a reading complex because I'm not really fucking seeing what you thought was so great about this fic."

20:20 - "Join my Discord server if you wanna know the full, TRUE story about what happened at the other Discord server and how these people supposedly claim that they love Ruby and Christina but they support a racist fanfic writer who clearly does not understand about black relations, but lies and decides to be a dick every-damn-where"

- The clearest target at Dandybear herself is in this rant here. Which you can recall above from the screenshots I posted, that when confronted with valid criticism, aims to do better because we all have room for growth. Including racists characters can always be tough because they are uncomfortable characters as they are meant to be, but run the possibility of being too much. However they are not a direct reflection of an author’s view.

20:52 - "If you wanna join a fandom on Discord that doesn't judge you for liking what you like as Ruby and Christina, and even if we disagree, you know, still not have fear of being kicked out because you disagree, come join my shit. It's not even worth the headache, sweetie."

- Interesting take after making a whole video attacking writers/people you hate from your previous discord after you were removed for breaking rules aka personal attack. “doesn't judge you for liking what you like”

21:30 - "I don't care any fucking more. The drama is done, it's settled"

- Considering you have brought this drama up again, after your removal on the 11th of December 2020, I think you might still care.

21:33 - "I figure I would clear a record, basically, to what happened. And, you know, signify the issue that these motherfuckers is crazy. They're crazy as hell."

Everyone at the server had moved on and enjoyed the holidays, but this video has reopened a closed case due to the clear targeting of a writer who happens to be popular. Almost this whole video is an entire disguised attack towards her.

I sincerely hope this clears the air on everything that happened and continues to happen. You have the full story and can judge for yourself whether or not the kicks were justified. If you feel they weren’t, that’s fine and you can now join a new discord server of more like minded people. This continued targeting of Dandybear is unacceptable, and those of you in contact with Krow should not be allowing this to continue. Dandy is a real person like all of us, and if you have a valid criticism of her fic, you can do it in a rational manner. Or stop reading. Like every person ever has done in every fandom ever. Dandybear had no involvement whatsoever with the kicks of the server, they are simply a member and a writer in the fandom and this has gone too far.

If you feel like this server isn't the place for you anymore, I encourage you to find a new place to express yourself in the best way you'd like. We all came here to love Ruby and Christina and have a place to do so in an organized fashion. If you don't like the rules, or consider this place unsafe, I hope you find a community that aligns more with your interests and world view.

#ruby x christina

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thissimplefeelingzine · 4 years ago

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regarding your inexperienced w zines mod team- do u at least have somebody handling finances that has experience w a completed zine? that’s SUPER important, especially now, and I would urge you to reach out if not and find somebody to handle that positon. looking forward to this zine!

Hello anon,

I am Mod Dogfeathers*, and while posting directly to our socials is somewhat rare for me, I am This Simple Feeling's current Finance Mod, and so I thought it very important that I address your concerns directly, myself. I am very shy, I am neurodivergent, and I have severe social anxiety, and so most of the work I've done for This Simple Feeling thusfar has been infrastructural and supportive, somewhat away from wider visibility. However, I am extremely aware of the awesome responsibility that falls squarely on my shoulders as finance mod, and that the community around our zine– from my fellow mods and our potential contributors to the fans who will be cheering us on and reading issue 6 next year– must be able to depend on me to manage our finances through every stage of This Simple Feeling's production. The success of our project requires the community's collective confidence in me, and I am extremely keen to build that trust.

So, first, I want to apologize for the length of time that you've had to wait for this reply, and assure you we've been taking your concerns very seriously. Much of this time has been spent in deliberative reflection as to whether or not I should remain in this role. I love this project, and I have invested a prodigious amount of time and effort and affection into it since Head Mod @menecio approached me in early November 2020; I desperately want it to succeed. I have never wavered that I want to remain in this role, and my fellow staff have not wavered in their conviction that I should remain here, too. That said, I am aware that the success of our zine does not particularly care about what I want or what feels good, and so I took some time to seriously assess my own capabilities, to strenuously question my resolve, and to seek advice from people with zine experience who I trust. We have determined that I shall remain Finance Mod, but I want to stress that this was neither an easy nor an immediate decision– I did not let it be an easy or immediate decision, because what has always mattered to me is what's best for the zine. In the end, that determination was made based on the work that I've already done and the trust that my team has in my abilities.

Nevertheless, we want to emphasize that we continue to take your concerns seriously; we recognize that my lack of zine experience is both significant and reasonable cause for concern. We are taking additional measures to address that lack, beyond those that I insisted upon when I accepted this role. I will shortly lay out some of my relevant experience, but in recognition that it is limited and that it may not be sufficient to assuage your concerns, I want to make clear one of the additional measures that I requested during this period of consideration.

My husband and my partner of ten years, Tom, is a trained accountant, and he will now be supervising my work for this project directly. He had already agreed to assist me informally, and had– with supreme patience– already conducted a few intense, 6 hour long sessions to explain the ways that double-entry bookkeeping and Microsoft Access can be used to manage a project of this nature. He will continue to do that, but he will also be keeping an eye on my work and checking up that work periodically. I will still be managing our accounts, my name will still be on our books, and this will still be my job, but Tom will be actively present to confirm that I am doing this correctly. He does not have zine experience, he is not involved in fandom, and he does not have fandom-relevant socials– he has no specific pull towards fandom participation, the way I do– but he has worked for several years as one of two accountants for the library of one of the USA's top 40 public research universities, managing the extremely complex and surprisingly variable needs of such a massive nonprofit, and has been responsible for controlling several million dollars of public acquisitions spending in that capacity. (His way of describing this: "Each year we spent about the same amount as the budget for 10 Things I Hate About You, and I was in charge of a little over half of it.")

As part of this supervisory role, Tom is also going to maintain a presence in our server. He is not a mod and plays no part in decision making beyond occasionally giving us financial advice when asked, but he has appropriate server roles to provide direct access to mod discussions, so that he can be present to pay attention when I bring financial data to the team, and to answer our collective financial questions, should any arise that are beyond my personal capacity. When his schedule permits, he is also available to our contributors and mods to answer their questions directly in server.

What follows is a non-comprehensive, but hopefully thorough, summary of my relevant experience.

By training and professionally, I am a studio artist with an MFA, the terminal degree in my field. I manage my own studio practice. This is a complicated, variable job that requires a great deal of flexibility, responsiveness, and skill– most of which does not actually involve the hand-skills necessary to create the literal artwork the studio practice ostensibly produces. As an artist, I am a sole proprietor, and my studio is my business, but with very specific needs not necessarily found in other businesses, and I run it without assistants. I maintain my inventory and my supplies, I purchase and manage equipment necessary to create work, I manage my work through various states of creation and exhibition and– sometimes– publication, I take on clients for commission, I apply to shows (for which there is always a fee), I work with gallerists and curators, I research and make connections with different platforms and specialist logistics businesses (PayPal/money handlers, banks, streaming platforms, printers, data storage). All of those affect my studio's finances, and so they must be managed carefully, in addition to sales of prints and original artwork (thusfar handled privately, as is fairly normal– we are often encouraged not to maintain digital storefronts, because it can dissuade potential gallerists from representing us; I am in the process of threading that needle.) In this capacity, I have no employer: I am responsible for taxes– both knowing what they are and paying them– and fees, I am responsible for my costs, and I am responsible to my business partners. There is no external buffer– if I fail any of this, I am the only party responsible for making it right.

Because I believe in the transformative power of art (and, for that matter, fandom), I try to work with local arts organizations and nonprofits when possible, particularly when it comes to showing my work and engaging in community arts efforts. I prefer to support group projects that elevate multiple artists, and/or organizations that serve diverse communities. Prior to COVID, I was doing a volunteer-intensive residency with local community arts nonprofit whose mission is to bring art and heritage craft skills to communities that would not otherwise be able to access such training; COVID has necessitated a change in my ability to serve them, but I do still work for them in a more limited capacity, usually grantwriting.

Though I prioritize nonprofits, I have also worked as an assistant/intern for urban galleries using for-profit and co-op funding structures, which involved both basic work associated with gallery assistantship (manning desks, running errands, calling support businesses, promotion, show installation, etc), and sometimes work on specific projects that required knowledge of the institution's fiscal state and available funds (from contacting local businesses about the replacement of a gallery's floor and helping to plan the launching of a new residency, to more routine tasks, such as contacting local bakeries about catering or hosting satellite shows, and ordering promotional material from printers.) All galleries run on extremely tight budgets, and having been exposed to a variety different gallery funding structures (with concomitantly different priorities and audiences) gives me an awareness of the work and the precision required to achieve ambitious goals with extremely limited finances. They are why I price things out on three levels: the ideal, the nearly-ideal, and the most affordable that still meets our high bar for quality.

I have experience writing grants, both for myself and (more notably) for the nonprofit at which I am an AIR (artist in residence). The most ambitious of these grants has reached the second stage of consideration, which is notable both because the granting organization is not arts specific, the deciding board is composed mostly of bankers with deep fiscal expertise, and we were asking for funds significantly in excess of what that grant usually offers. That decision is expected in June of next year. Grant-writing is less of an abstraction on the skills necessary for a zine than it might initially seem: both involve my operation as an agent representing the organization for which I requesting money; art grants are usually for very specific projects with very specific constraints; they usually require that our funding comes from multiple sources that are then pooled to enact the project; the projects have a specific lifespan and a schedule on which key stages must be completed; they require extremely precise budgeting; we are directly accountable for both the project and the precise management and tracking of said funding; and we must be ready to provide statements and proof of the project's progress and funding at every stage of the project's active lifespan, as well as a summary report at the end.

I have curatorial experience with local and regional art shows, usually organized by a small independent team working closely with a local, preferably-nonprofit gallery who is lending us their space; those roles are very analogous to the XO/logistical role I am currently fulfilling for This Simple Feeling. Though we worked with local galleries, and could sometimes make use of some of their equipment (such as hammers and nails and– if we were very lucky– leftover paint), we were responsible for every aspect of the actual hosting of the show and associated costs. This included equipment rental, installation costs, costs to repair & repaint to walls from the normal damage of installation, catering, sometimes utilities and space rental, etc. All of those costs were additional to the cost of recruiting artists, hosting calls, managing the artists and their work, managing sales of the work throughout the duration of the show, managing the sales of any prints the artists or merch the artists wanted to offer alongside the work, and organizing any publications or promotional materials released for the shows. Each show had different financial needs, but they all required budgets prior to their beginning, modified when necessary as the project came closer to realization and new constraints presented themselves. The businesses we solicited quotes from and our cost-reduction strategies varied from show to show, but all of the teams I worked with were semi-formal groups of friends and collaborators, similar to the teams that design zines, and so we did not have a pool of institutional capital to use for funding– we had to generate or barter for all of that ourselves. We did it because we loved it and we believed in it, not because it was potentially lucrative (community art shows almost never are, even less than zines; the point is celebration of our community.)

And that, honestly, is one of the most relevant bits of experience I've accumulated to date, tangential but applicable to a project like this: the awareness that this kind of project is done for love, not money. Issue 6 is being produced for charity, but even wildly successful for-profit zines will almost never be able to make enough profit to adequately compensate the cost of the staff's time, which would be upwards of $20k, if you paid them $10/hr, which is below the cost of living in most parts of my country. The cost to hire freelance writers is, at minimum, $.10 a word. The artwork in zines would cost in the hundreds– and, more realistically, thousands– of dollars, in a professional illustrative or fine art context. The writers and artists who contribute to zines absolutely make work that reaches (and exceeds) the professional standards required to participate in those industries. Our contributors have trained for years to hone their skills, and they put those skills towards making work for us, for free; our staff similarly donate their time to accomplish very complex tasks to support that creative work; that time could be spent producing work for those professional contexts, but instead they give it to us, and they do that because they believe in us and our community, and they want to celebrate a fandom and a ship– Star Trek and K/S– that have brought us together, and (with Trek and K/S specifically) have supported fandom engagement for over five decades. They give that work to us, and the only thing they ask is for us to make a zine out of it. I am an artist and a writer, I have formal training in both disciplines, and I understand these costs: I cannot express how seriously I take the gift of their time and energy, and how profoundly I am humbled to be trusted with it.

If I sound zealous, it's because I am, and because I am excruciatingly aware that from the moment our staff begins working on this project and our contributors start making their works, the financial responsibility for taking all that gifted energy and skill and effort becomes solely my own. If I fail as finance mod, I do not fail only myself, as would be the case in my studio practice– I also fail my fellow mods and every single one of my contributors, and I fail the community responsible for the generation of work that has provided me solace for decades. If I fuck up as finance mod, it is solely my responsibility to make it right.

As I said before, your concerns are absolutely reasonable– I share many of them– and all of this experience is tangential, and zines are different projects to those that I've worked on before, with different constraints and needs. I have thus taken action and structured my own work as a mod to assuage these concerns in myself, in ways that I hope will concomitantly assuage some of your concerns as well. I am paying attention to my own inexperience, I am preventing myself from functioning on auto-pilot, I am taking nothing for granted, and I am being actively vigilant for the inevitable gaps in my own expertise.

That's easy to say, but what does it look like? Thusfar, it takes the form of huge amounts of research, and the connection to a extant network of experienced zinesters, both of which are repositories of information with which I am trying to plug some of my gaps. I know well, as an academic who also practices disciplines (art and writing) that are precarious by their nature, that there is a big difference between external research and experience– but if everyone starts somewhere, then I have gone to great lengths to map out the place where I'm starting as thoroughly as possible. I have read (and often annotated) literally every resource on the production and staffing of fandom zines that I could find. When I have a question, I check these sources and I also look for examples of whatever I'm curious about 'in the wild'. To determine the likely price of our zine, for example, I looked through seven pages of tags on popular hub/promotion blogs on Tumblr, and generated a comprehensive Excel sheet from one such session that allowed me to compare prices against the number of pages and the kinds of merch offered alongside the zines in question. To balance the holes in that mode of data collection, I have also sought contacts and tried to build a relationship with communities around zine production: i have close friends who work on zines (and who initially got me interested in this kind of project– you know who you are, and my thanks is infinite for your patience and your willingness to act as resource), and I regularly make a pest of myself by asking strange questions to folks in Discord servers dedicated to the topic (I am also grateful to these communities, in similar terms). When possible, or if the question is specific enough, I try to go directly to the source: when I was uncertain what, specifically, could be used to verify a PayPal account, and found conflicting answers in their documentation, I spent three days talking to various help desk personnel until I found a solid answer on which to proceed. All of this is basic, and deserves no accolades.

If I am anything in my personal art practice, it is a colorist, and so I already had fairly deep knowledge of color theory prior to my involvement here– however, because color accuracy is so important to printed artwork, and depends so much on printer technology, the capacity and setup of individual print shops, and digital color spaces, I have spent time researching this too. I have requested printing samples from 7 different printers, and I have peppered the ones that meet the zine's standards with esoteric questions about what kind of printing presses they use and what ICC profiles their digital presses are set up to handle. I have done this because when it comes time (very shortly) for our Art Mod (@i-drive-a-nii-san) and myself to make some final determinations on which printers we want to use, it is important to me personally that we have the most comprehensive data available with which to make that decision. The zine that we publish needs to be pragmatically affordable– but within the scope of that pragmatism, I want the best quality possible, so as to do justice to the contributions that will live on its pages.

I am aware that all of my experience is tangential, and that the direct relevance that it has on this situation is limited. I am aware that there are gaps in my knowledge. I am aware of the awesome responsibilities I have as finance mod, and that I am a potential bottleneck upon which this project either breaks and fails or through which it passes and succeeds. I am aware of the gift inherent in every work we receive and every moment of staff working time, and the legacies at play with K/S specifically. I am aware that all the book-learning in the world has limited bearing on the actual experience of doing something on the ground. I find my experience lacking, and for that reason, I very seriously considered stepping down. I am humbled by the responsibility required by this position; I decided to stay because the trust my team expressed in me was also humbling.

My experience may be tangential, but there is a final element that I strongly suspect is applicable to my role as finance mod (and mod generally): in a project like a zine, done for love and for community, there are a myriad ways in which trust matters, small enough to overlook but overwhelming in their accumulation. The trust of the external fandom/zinester community matters, and for that reason I am being as honest as possible, and almost ceded my position to someone with greater experience; the trust of one's fellow staff and collaborators also matters in significant ways. An administrative team that trusts each other– that has confidence in each others' abilities and convictions, that understands each others' outlooks and that communicates well, and that deeply believes that that they will mutually have each other's backs– that kind of administrative team is an awesome thing, and their confidence is often perceptible to the contributors in very real ways, who then trust the administrative team to have their backs and to support them as necessary. Collaborators and administrators who have established that trust with each other tend to work together more effectively, and produce stronger work as a result, especially in a creative capacity. Good work requires creative risk-taking, which in turn requires the certainty that administration can support the necessary risk-taking and facilitate its success. The establishment of such trust is not automatic– we must work for it, actively– but the team involved in issue 6 of This Simple Feeling has that trust in each other, and the willingness to build it with both our collaborators and the wider community around our zine.

My confidence in the rest of my team is unshakeable. They have, in turn, expressed their confidence in me, that I am able to do the tasks and handle the responsibility involved with being finance mod on a project as specific and complex as a fandom zine for charity; I will trust them, and I will continue to work to earn their trust. I will also trust the broad community of zinesters around me, and solicit their expertise to help me navigate unfamiliar waters, and I will trust the professional expertise of my partner, who I have asked to donate his time. I will not lie, and so I make no promise that I won't fuck up in this role– but I will absolutely promise that if I do, I will make it right, and I will do everything in my power to prevent such fuckups from occurring in the first place.

I encourage you or anyone else to contact me if you have further questions; I can be reached through the contact forms on my personal Carrds– both linked on This Simple Feeling's staff bio on the Carrd– or alternatively you can request my Discord handle via DM on This Simple Feeling’s Tumblr or Twitter.

- Mod Dogfeathers/42/booleanWildcard/NAB

* I write fanfiction under the name booleanWildcard, and I am known socially as 42 or */asterisk. I post drawings as Dogmachine. I sign my visual work as NAB, my initials.

* We are using Microsoft Access instead of Excel, because Access is more flexible and comprehensive with its ability to cross-reference multiple fields. We will use it to generate reports for release, including possibly ones that can be plugged into Excel/Google Sheets

#tsfzine #ask #mod team

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mysmedrabbles · 5 years ago

Text

RFA+Minor Trio Reacting to an MC in the Mafia

requested: y e s

a/n: listen,,,,, im a huge sucker for mafia au’s ,, and perhaps i’ll upload a full story with all of them on Patreon! So stay tuned for that one! Definitely more mafia AU type things coming soon though if you want to see more mysme mafia and want to support my work, feel free to buy me a coffee!

warnings: vanderwoods is really good

-Prohibition-Era Italian Mafia mod Alex

Jumin

- corporate heir of a multi-million won company married to the runaway child- now mafia member? my god what a cliche

-it’d originally been a few weeks before he’d planned to propose when he suddenly realized that he had... never actually met your family? He’d always figured that you’d tell him when you felt comfortable enough, or when you felt like it, but he genuinely wanted to propose, to marry you and make you his, however he felt he needed your fathers approval, something.

-he’s surprisingly calm when you tell him the truth, that you’d run away from home at a young age and upon asking for a job at the local bar, as anything, someone who works in the back and does inventory, trash person, anything, you’d found out that this bar was a front for a mafia organization, who’d promptly adopted you and taken care of you ever since

-you’re not sure what kind of reaction you expected from him, but you receive none, only an understanding nod and a question, same as before, “Can I meet them?”

-the next day you take him down to where you work, a lovely little rustic bar downtown.

-he notices as you visibly relax when you take him into the back, smile spreading on your face as you greet various members cheerfully, a reluctant grin, changing to a threatening frown when they noticed Jumin holding your hand and following you to the back

-you’re not expecting the meeting to go well, pacing around the door, where your boss, is privately speaking to Jumin, hand placed firmly on your grip of your gun, finger threateningly over the safety lock, ready to fire if something bad went down

-so you’re exceedingly surprised when the two come back out on an embrace, chuckling as they greet you. waving the two of you off with a genuinely kind smile, you turn to Jumin, demanding an explanation as you get back into the car.

- “Jumin?????” you gesture wildly, inviting the explanation.

- “Yes dear? - Home, Driver Kim please” he nods in Driver Kims direction.

-He gives no explanation, knowing it’s going to drive you insane, only says, “We’re having dinner with your family next week by the way.”

-corporate mafia family

Jaehee

-her dream, to own her own cafe, with you! her love, her joy, her future wife!

-so she can’t understand you when you’re extremely hesitant to leave your job, what looked like a? boring bartending job?

-she knew there was something you weren't telling her, and she ends up figuring it out herself, putting two and two together, using various news reports about the bar, mixed with information (or lack thereof) of the manager of the place

-she stomps up to you in a cold but angry manner, and thrusts a piece of paper in your hands, a list of collected evidence. “Tell me you’re not part of a gang MC.”

-her voice is scarily cold, but hints of tears that threaten to swallow her whole still manage to reflect through her voice.

-you explain your story, the whole ordeal since you ran away until you found the job, to how they all took care of you, and hey its not like you were the most powerful one, you were moreso like the little sibling of the group, still having skills but never in any direct danger.

-she doesnt speak to you for two days, “contemplating the information” (aka making you feel guilty for hiding this)

-when she sees just how broken down and sad you are as you get into bed, movements sluggish as you flop into the comfort of your shared bed, it finally makes her realize that,, this was something you had chosen as a child and even if she wasn’t okay with it, it wasn’t her choice to make. This was your family and she had to respect that.

-biting on the inside of her lip, she slips next to you, pulling you towards her silently. resting your head on her chest, you look up at her hopefully, “does this mean I’m forgiven?”

-the ghost of a smile graces her face as she closes her eyes, “We’ll see tomorrow. Lets sleep for now y/n.”

-when jaehee meets the crew its a lovely spring night and,, well,,,, basically they end up scared of her and you’ve never been more in love with the woman sitting across from you at the dinner table

Yoosung

-nonononononono his sweet baby angel cant be in the mafia

-the fact that you’re you know,, a part of the mafia doesn’t even register in yoosungs brain, his main concern is that you’ll get hurt, that something will happen to you in the line of duty and you won't come home

-you assure him that you’re mainly the person who talks to the targets beforehand, gathering intel and helping prepare for the missions

-you dont necessarily tell him much about anything or anyone, preferring to keep him in the dark, for his own safety

-of course you’d mentioned Yoosung to Byung-Hee, the mafia boss and your paternal figure, but he’d never thought much of Yoosung; that is until Yoosung bursts into the storage rom of the bar, and with around 15 different guns pointed at him, he threatens Byung-Hee, that if he ever dare let anything happen to you, he’d come in and kill him himself, using his medical knowledge to make his death look like an accident

-Byung-Hee is,, amused. Yoosung is not threatening in the least, but the dedication it took to march into mafia headquarters uninvited and threaten the leader while thirteen different people had their guns trained directly at him,,, shit takes guts

-All he does is nod, extending his hand to shake Yoosungs, who is,, extremely confused. When Yoosung’s hand reached Byung-Hees however,, the boss yanks Yoosung close, whispering in a threatening manner that if h e ever hurt you, he’d kill him in the most painful way possible and no one would ever know

-needless to say as soon as he gets back home, the adrenaline rush fades and runs directly into your confused embrace as he cries, mumbling something about how you’ll always be safe and his promises

Seven

-sjdhfskjdfh bitch you think you’re dangerous? i’m part of the mf mafia

-he never found much about you when he looked you up, only records that existed were report card grades in elementary and middle school, but past that it was as if you’d fallen off the face of the earth; no credit cards, social media accounts, guilty 2 am internet purchases, not even so much as a water and power bill or an address, until you suddenly reappeared three years ago, but it’s still not much

-the two of you drive the rest of the messenger to insanity, and even your FBI agents are sick of see your texts to each other, questions masked in playfulness, both trying to get the truth out of each other. Nothing making sense except to the two of you

-often he’ll poke you awake in the middle of the night, glasses slipping down his nose rapidly as he pesters you with incoherent questions about your past; but all you do is shift, intertwining your legs with his and pushing him back down to the bed, placing your head on his chest as you go back to sleep

-its around six months later post having moved in together when the two of you when you decide enough is enough. the truth had to come out sometime no? the two of you gather all the fast food and snacks you can, and facing each other sitting cross legged on the couch, no interruptions, you take turns firing questions at each other, answering them no matter how hard it might have been

-his reaction to you being in the mafia is at first, concerned. because he knows how mafias operate, and the last thing he would want is for a client to come into his job and for your gang to be the target that needs to be eliminated.

-his next question is what level of illegality do you operate at?

-with your response being an even 5, he presses for more. you explain how you take funds from the rich, expose the businessmen who steal from the company’s funds, bribe and threaten powerful congresspeople to pass better laws to help the poor, the basic steal from the rich, give to the poor type deal

-he listens intently, the story of how you got to this point completely capturing him. he never thinks badly about you; in a way you guys were helping out the world. if he spins it the right way, its almost like the two of you are doing the same job, just different methods

-work buddies! while he hacks and does his work for the agency, you’re right there sitting next to him trying to learn all you can about your next target and making a detailed plan, on constant call with Hyun Ki and Hyun Shik, dubbed the “intelligence twins.” When you’re getting visibly stressed he reaches over, gently squeezing your hand reassuringly as he breaks out the HBC for the both of you to take a short break, and when he gets stressed you do the same.

-finally having a place to rant about work, of course neither of you can ever disclose the targets names, but its still good to get things off of your chest

-honestly the only thing he has trouble believing is that you’re an actual bartender. “yes seven, i actually went to school to get my certificate for this” “why u always lyyyiiinn”

-when he sees something on the news, another politician knocked down from the public eye, a mysterious amount of money donated to the local orphanage, he makes sure to congratulate you, genuinely grinning as he picks you up to kiss you, proud of his s/o

-if you’re chosen to do some first hand intel, go down and charm someone into signing x y or z paper or get them to a secondary location, he uses his own skills to keep an eye on you and make sure nothing bad happens

-when its time to meet the family, he goes in jokes ablaze, making what was supposed to be a refined mafia dinner at an upscale restaurant a comedy center,, and the lack of fear on his behalf frankly amuses the boss. sevens a mess the whole dinner. he observes the similarities between the gang and the RFA, both having the same familial dynamic between each other, a kind of comfort and complete happiness.

-of course as soon as you get married he instantly becomes a part of the family as well

-they hate him. like,,, they love him but also hate him.

-terrible jokes from his part; “hey y/n can you take care of this client for me? here kind of a dick but i’m not allowed to say anything. it'd be great if,,,, something happened to their money”

-he knows you’d never do it to anyone that doesn’t deserve it but its a funny bit that keeps the two of you sane

Zen

- “absolutley not mc”

-he hates your job already, working at a bar in downtown, but the fact that its just a Front for a Mafia gang? that you’re a Part of?

-absolutely not.

-he springs into protective mode instantly, launching himself into a long rant on how he’s going to get you out of there, you dont need to worry because you dont have to be there, no matter what dirt they have on you, what you did in the past, he still loves you and he’s going to help you no matter what it takes

-meanwhile youre sitting there watching him pace around, trying not to burst out laughing

-when you explain to him that they’re quite fair, a robin hood type deal made of people who grew up poor, people who were cheated by the government and were forced into poverty, broke their way through the ranks and were trying to help others that were currently in their situation, taking from the rich, bribing businessmen in high power to put forward better laws for consideration, dropping money on random peoples doorstep, all under the cover of anonymity.

-he sits on this for a while, trying to digest what you’d just said. as much as he hates it, he empathizes with the situations that brought you there, and his opinion of this gang has,, drastically changed

-he’s still wary of your safety, hence you suggest he meet the members himself

-bringing out all the toughness he can muster, he strides in with you at his side, cooly talking to the intelligence twins, Hyun Ki and Hyun Shik. He meets others, Jae-Sang and Byung-Hee, and they accept him into the family surprisingly quickly

-he gets along with everyone,, r e a l l y well

Saeran

-nervous boye

-he doesn’t want you to get hurt, but he understand your reasoning as to why you started in the business of money laundering, understands better than most

-he listens to your story, about the way you ran away and straight into the arms of Byung-Hee, who offered you a job. With no other choice you joined, but eventually warmed up to the idea, and now you love them like family

-of course, he cant help but call you during your lunch break, needing to hear your voice and make sure you’re okay, that you haven't been killed or turned into a murderous member

-a part of him does think its somewhat cool, especially the fact that you willingly got in and can belong to a group like this and not be you know,, abused traumatized and poisoned repeatedly.

-when he finally meets them, he barely musters a word or two, but as time goes on, he gets increasingly comfortable with them. if you trust them, he trusts them.

-he cant go through this cult mafia shit again bro

-it takes a lot of reassurance that the boss is actually fair, and even proving to him that you guys dont do others harm, nor do you forcibly recruit people

-you tell him about how they took you in as a scared and alone high schooler, essentially adopted and raised you, gave you a job, a roof over your head and urged you to do what you want in life

-of course theres the thing that you cant officially leave them, so technically you are trapped there, but they took pity on you, looking at you as a little sibling, and at most they only make you gather intel or have you as the driver

-he’s not the most calm about it, but he understands that they’re your true family, and he tries his best to get along with them, trying to view the members as multiple brothers sisters and or parents instead of,,, dangerous mafia members

-he seems extremely calm and chill whenever you guys all go for dinner, very professional and sleek, but in reality he’s trying not to run into the restroom and escape through the window

Vanderwood

-you started off as his client, the one he were supposed to gather intel on and report back to the boss, find his way to your own boss and kill him

-so when Vanderwood found out that you were also the rfa he felt like the luckiest man in the world

-he pretty much always hangs out in the bar during your shift, trying to overhear any useful information; but damn he never expected you to look,, like that.

-week after week, he finds himself enraptured in your beauty, buying water after water, trying to be smooth as he talks to you

-he convinces himself that the little flutter he gets whenever you smile, when your fingers momentarily touch his as you give him yet Another glass of water no ice,, your focus when you experiment with different drinks, the way you get ridiculously excited when said experimental drink turns out good, immediately giving Vanderwood a glass,,, missions,, weren't supposed to be like this right?

-he pries, asking about your boss, but its the adoration of which you speak of Byung-Hee that breaks him, the gestures you make as you talk about him like family

-he skulks back to base, head running wildly. he knows he can’t let you go, he cant fall in love with a client, however he can't bring himself to bring you or your family harm.

-trying desperately to regain his composure, he spins a story how the original intel he received must have been wrong, because there was no hidden agenda behind the bar. He makes up a lie how he went through the bank statements, hacked the system, did it all, but the bar was 100% clean

-he knows he can never go back, to you, but just protecting you will have to be enough

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ask-jumblr · 5 years ago

Text

Thank you so much to everyone who’s been constructive.

Both commenters, and the anons below who were open about what they’re struggling with. Since all of the asks were either hateful, or seemed to be addressed at me, the mod, I’m going to handle them.

Before you get too upset that I didn’t give all y’all equal chance to answer: I’m encouraging the anons to send in some asks dealing with the issues they’re mentioning, formatted in such a way that it’s easier for jumblr as a whole to constructively help. Based on their current asks, I can only ask questions about what they practically need.

Because I’ll be addressing the asks chronologically and the constructive asks come later, I’m going to put it all below the cut. If you don’t have energy today, don’t click through. Even the constructive stuff is heavy.

Here were the first two anon’s received:

Isn't Orthodox just exclusionary extremism? Aren't those the homophobes and transphobes who think you shouldn't be allowed to marry a non-Jew? Why aren't we staying focused on reform/recon Judaism?

It’s okay not to know things, although the assumption was a little harsh so I didn’t want to post it directly. In response I made a myth-busting post. Yes, it is American-centric, but here’s why: I can be pretty darn sure anon is American, or at least North American.

Given that you’re upset about intermarriage, you’re probably not Israeli. Given that the U.S. has the largest diaspora population, anon is likely American. Given that anon is referencing “Reform” Judaism as an alternative, they’re probably not in Britain (”Liberal Judaism”) or outside U.S./Britain/Canada/Israel (”Progressive Judaism” everywhere else).

Realistically speaking, I can’t call up every community everywhere. As an American coming out of a mediocre, Anglo-centric education system, I can only speak one other language with any competence and blurt a few words of a few more. If you want to know about a community in a specific place then please, please ask. There have been folks on here asking about communities all sorts of places who have gotten answers here. Jewish geography + the internet is amazing! When anon is American, with misconceptions about American Jews I’m going to assume such.

Orthodox Jews should probably stop existing.

This ask is hateful and non-constructive. Hence the threat to block.

After this, I got some anons who are getting at some problems that we can really work on. They aren’t American, so I’ve assumed they aren’t the first anon.

hey if your responses and views could stop portraying us jewery as being the only way things are done and that we somehow all have access to the stuff you do, that would be grand

(cont) or where there zero chance of finding a group of that community that'll accept me and not treat me in hateful ways. I'm sorry that Jewery outside the US/NA is that unfamiliar to you and that our viewpoints and experiences makes you uncomfortable but I guess that's the way US Jews deal with Jewish "outsiders".

I’m going to start with part 1 to stay in order even though part 2 is what gets me antsy to help ya. You’re right. I don’t have a ton of experience with non-U.S. Jewery. That’s why I tag thoroughly and encourage folks who don’t know the answer to signal boost. If you’re specific, someone else on jumblr can help you.

When anon asks are vague and, as they often do, reference U.S./North American terms for branches (”reform” rather than “liberal” or “progressive”), I’m going assume the anon us in the U.S. or greater North America. Most other respondents likely will too. Anon askers who want otherwise need to use terms that are more globally (”progressive”) or locally (”liberal”) appropriate, or give a little more locational information (e.g. city, country, region). Re-my new explanation above about American-centrism. I respect that you didn’t have the benefit of seeing the language in that ask, but I’m here to help you as much as I can without superfluously emailing every rabbi in every country for another anon who’s linguistically and statistically likely to be in New Jersey or Ohio or somewhere else in the U.S..

Now for part 2 (after “(cont)”), your concerns. (Getting something out of the way: Since you’re saying “Jewish “outsiders”” I’m going to assume you’re Jewish. However, many people reading this might not be; this audience has a lot of prospective converts. I want to point out that prospective converts aren’t entitled to conversion via any particular community. I might personally be dismayed, but it’s that community’s prerogative. Getting that community to a place where people who are already Jewish who are LGBTQ, have disabilities, etc. are accepted is going to be my priority if I were to harangue a community that’s not my own. In other words, people like anon. On that note...) I received another ask with a concern similar to part 2, by someone in a similar situation as a Jewish person under the LGBTQ umbrella whose only option is a community that won’t accept them. I’d like to answer these together. Here’s that second ask:

Not your first anon but there's no non-homophobic Orthodox community where I live. I live in Europe and maybe it is different in the US but the Orthodox communities here do NOT accept lgbt+ people. Or if they do it is under the "don't ask, don't tell" form of homophobia where you're accepted as long as you don't display it publicly or ask them to treat you as an equal in any way. So sorry for not feeling endeared to a group that have always hated me.

This means we’ve got a heck of a problem. There are Jewish people who don’t have a community and need one. Y’all (You all) don’t know me irl, but making sure Jewish people who want Jewish communities have Jewish communities is something I’m very big on. I’ve gotten some flack for being too welcoming or too focused on making sure synagogues are welcoming. I want you to know that we want you here. Unfortunately you aren’t close enough for me to personally offer you that hug.

You see, I’m a U.S. Jew, but I’m not one from a place like New York City where there’s a wealth of Jewish community options. (hint: #SouthernJews #ShalomY’all) I know those people near me who feel forgotten, ignored, scoffed at, or unvalued don’t always have another option (or that it’s a loooong drive and lots of gas money away). I am someone who has had to put in the work to build the community she wants and needs, and a community that is welcoming for the people she cares about.

Putting aside the extent to which I’ve had to patch up my own education while trying to make sure others aren’t on their own doing it, I’ve also had an obstacle you’ll find more relatable. I know it’s not obvious, I’m also under that LGBTQ umbrella (sexuality, not really gender from my current self-understanding). I’m largely closeted irl because being Jewish makes me enough of a target and is harder to hide. I don’t discuss it much on the internet because I don’t want #woke #discourse about myself as I figure out my own identity, and don’t want my own processing (yay for internalized -isms!) to hurt someone else. It’s fine that you didn’t know, but I want you to know now so that you can understand my experience:

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend in Israel who’s had to make community choices too. My friend (who is also under that umbrella) convinced me that I should go to a shul with a rabbi who was openly homophobic in the past because it’ll be the best balance between programming that meets my needs (adult learning! services!) and driving distance. The rabbi stopped being openly homophobic, so I know I can be in that community. But it’s not exactly my dream. I don’t plan on relying on that rabbi for psak or life-cycle events--at least not until I know more. Then again, I’m lucky. I’m lucky in that there are rabbis I feel comfortable getting psak from who speak my native language. I’m lucky that I know enough to know that a non-rabbi can officiate a commitment ceremony (and actually a Jewish wedding too...), and that I’m from a well-connected extended-family that is friends with rabbis elsewhere (whoot! Jewish geography!) who would happily come in to officiate for me (though it might be costly and they might only do commitment rather than marriage). And I’m lucky that my extended family would be supportive enough to do so for me (they’d be getting eager enough for me to marry anyone...). I’m also lucky in that I could drive even farther and hit a Reform community that’s been more accepting for much longer. It doesn’t have the resources or programming I need, but I would have hypothetical access to a place with other Jews that has gender-neutral bathrooms and a rabbi who hasn’t said anything (recorded) that’s unaffirming of my existence.

But what about people who don’t have access to an alternate community? Or for whom that other community is even father from being a good fit? With work, it is possible to make change. Do you know why that shul’s rabbi stopped being openly homophobic? Maybe compassion. But there was an outside trend too: the community shifted away from homophobia to embrace its LGBTQ members, and he was forced to follow. It’s quite likely that movement stances and responsum helped, but community organizing, changing minds one-at-a-time, those were definitely pieces of the puzzle.

I want this blog to be here for you in figuring out how to make those changes. I began an initiative on here called Tikkunity. It’s a goofy name for an important mission: help people find strategies to make their communities more vibrant, more welcoming, more supportive, more accessible, more whatever someone needs. The ones I’ve put out so far aren’t as heavy as your topic, but Tikkunity is also here for what you’re looking for. I’ve gotten in touch with some other blogs about topics that are less obvious for communities, and a bit heavier too. If either of y’all feels comfortable messaging me from off anon (just make a side-blog with a random url), I’d love to draft a post with you. Alternately, if you send something constructive and specific enough such as “I only have one choice of community and I don’t feel safe or accepted there as a [insert LGBTQ identity/ies] person. How can I make my community more accepting of [my existence/my partnership/my pronouns/etc.]? FOR: Orthodox and [LGBTQ accepting/affirming/or other word or phrase of your choice that describes people who would be in-line with your goal]” or “ I only have one choice of community (there aren’t many Jewish people near me) and I don’t feel safe or accepted there as a [insert LGBTQ identity/ies] person. Does anyone have recommendations of what to do and tools to help me do Jewish stuff to do without the big community? How can I find people from that community willing to join me so it isn’t as lonely?” then I can post it off the bat

As much as I’m not letting askers generalize Orthodox Jews as individually homophobic/transphobic, the U.S. isn’t a utopia for LGBTQ [Orthodox] Jews looking for communities. “Don’t ask don’t tell” is how many U.S. Orthodox communities function. You’ll notice that the Orthodox LGBTQ-acceptance group I linked (Eshel) is an activist-type group from within the Orthodox community. The most effective change comes from within communities, which is why I’d rather you talk to Orthodox jumblrs than me. There are many LGBTQ Orthodox Jews on tumblr who might be willing and able to help you make that change via advice on a Tikkunity post, connecting you with other activists, or via a longer-term messaging relationship as they make change in their own communities. While I don’t think Eshel formally works outside the U.S. right now, that doesn’t mean you can’t ask them about expansion or see if they can connect you with other laypeople community builders and shifters to provide mentorship and support.

If you can’t start within the community, you can start building alternate spaces with Jewish people you know who have been willing to engage with you. Even communities that are largely homophobic/transphobic aren’t a monolith. There’s lots of advice out there for people making “start-up” communities or “indepedent minyanim” or “chaburas.” It’s not fair that you have to do the work. But don’t take it out on all Orthodox Jews, individually, especially because some of them are on your side.

And if you’d rather move than make those changes then if/when you are able to move this blog can also be a resource for you. If you send in a message with the cities you’re considering and what you’re looking for in a community, someone in jumblr can likely help give some advice on where you’ll find the best community for you.

#ask-jumblr #mod talk #meta #blog #hate #anon hate #LGBTQ #LGBTQ Orthodox Jews

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fallenhero-rebirth · 6 years ago

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OUT OF CANON BACKGROUND SNIPPETS.

Since people were asking in the discord, some old Ortega/Steel snippets from before they got yanked into the Fallen Hero universe. Not canon, just inspiration. From the same universe as the JUMP one before, back when Los Diablos was still in ruins, before it became Fallen Hero. Also, this is TEN YEARS OLD so my writing was fuuucked.

One:

The wind howled murder in Ortega's dreams, tonight like every night.

"Come on Ortega, move your feet, the day ain't getting any younger." Marek was all smile and camera, and there was no turning back now. He had to make the jump.

There was a feel of crumbling rocks beneath his feet as he threw himself off the edge of the cliff, the ruins far below greeting him with concrete teeth. Base jumping was a thrill, the first moment of freefall a kiss snatched from death's cold lips. He knew he should have prayed, but he'd left all faith behind him long ago. These days, his gods were ones of preparation and caring for your equipment.

Behind him, rocks cascaded down the uneven cliff face, a stampede of debris racing him towards the ground below.

Falling.

Weightless.

The wind roaring in his ears and his heartbeat so loud it hurt.

And then the chute snapped open, tearing him sideways, away from the cliff, away from the falling rocks, away to safety and a glorious descent and a rush of adrenaline that nearly dampened the pain as the wind slapped him in the face and smashed him into the rocks.

That day death hadn't been satisfied with just a kiss, she had wanted to go second base. And Ortega had ended up broken and trapped in a bed, surrounded by wheezing machines, waking from dreams recapturing his last moment of freedom.

...

"Move your left toe, please." Dr Burton said the words blandly, like she had a dozen times before, leaning over the man on the table.

He was lying limp, like a filleted fish, the healing flesh on his back parted to reveal the grafts all along his back. Titanium fused with plasteel, faintly glowing cords and connections burrowing into the bone to make up for neural connections lost in the accident that had smashed so much of his spine. It was a work of art and wonder, military cybernetic technology adapted to a less lethal use. If only she could make it work.

"Still nothing," Ortega said, watching the floor.

Not dirty.

Nothing here was dirty.

He hadn't seen a speck of dust since he had woken up here, no doubt thanks to his father pulling strings. Again. Patching up his wayward son. Trying to make him walk once more. They had an awkward reunion after he had regained consciousness, his father looming in the background, impassive in his uniform. Such a shield it was to hide behind. His mother had been on her knees by the bed, praying, thanking the Lord for saving her son's life.

In his opinion, the Lord had little to do with it. It was his friends that had managed to get him down and keep him alive until help got there. He'd asked what become of them, but they had been found in a restricted area. Los Angeles was in ruins after the Big One and anybody who came there without permission were trespassers. Possible looters. Maybe his friends were let go. Maybe they were doing jail time. He had no way of knowing. Nobody would even answer his questions. His friends were as lost as his own mobility.

...

His spine whirred, and that was a sound a body was not supposed to make. Standing up hurt, every muscle ached as Ortega leaned on the handrails, forcing himself to stand.

"Move your feet," Sammy said, his physical therapist refusing any other form of addressing him. "It's not that hard."

"Says the man without the metal eel pretending to be a spine." No, Ortega thought to himself. An eel was the wrong word. His first thought when he had seen the spine all rolled up on the table before him was that it had been a snake, ready to strike. And now it had, inserting itself into his flesh, bonding with his bones, theoretically making him all that he had been and a lot more.

Freak.

Experiment.

Military property.

"You're only going to tire yourself out if you keep standing there." Sammy placed a hand on his shoulder, making Ortega flinch a little. "I know it hurts. I know things need time to heal. But you need to start moving for that to happen."

"Bit too valuable to be left in the bed now, am I?" There was a hint of bitterness to his voice as he moved his left foot forward, letting his weight come down on it.

Blinding pain shot through his body, but his knees didn't buckle. The whirring shifted in tone, and his body held. The next step was easier, the spine adjusting, microscopic chipbrains memorizing stance and weight. It hurt, but he could walk. He actually could put one foot in front of the other again.

Right then and there, that moment that felt like a bigger achievement than any of his many jumps.

Two:

"We're going back, you know." Chen held up the pads so Ortega could throw another punch.

"Going back where? Panama?" Ortega punched and shifted his balance, the soft whirr of his implants nearly imperceptible. Or perhaps he was simply getting used to them. The scars had faded to an angry red by now, and his body was adapting. Good as new. No, better than new.

"Hell no, I hope not. Los Angeles." Captain Wei Chen was a veteran of Panama, and in the military hospital for much the same reason as Ortega. A broken body fixed by state of the art technology, the difference being that Chen was military through and through, and Ortega was here because his father had pulled some favors.

"Don't you mean Los Diablos? That's what everybody calls it these days."

Whoever chose to rename Los Angeles after the Big One was not far off. The quakes had ripped the entire west coast to shreds. Cities burned, millions died, and when the smoke had cleared the name had stuck. Los Diablos. At first the government had tried to rebuild what had been lost, but as the aftershocks continued and the years passed, a crashing economy forced the politicians to focus on salvaging the heartland and the east.

How the west was lost. Not a catchy title for a movie in a country used to winning.

"Yeah, whatever smartass, hit me harder. I know you can." Chen clapped the pads together, then held them up again.

"Quit giving me orders, I'm not in the army." Ortega hit the pads despite his complaints, because it felt good. It felt good to move, to be able to sweat and train and not be looking forward to a lifetime in bed.

"Might as well be, I know how these contracts work. The military own your sorry ass now. Unless you want back in that chair."

"No way." Hard punches, sweat stinging his eyes.

"Then you play ball." Pads removed, a towel tossed instead.

"I never was much for playing ball." Ortega wiped his face with a grimace.

"So I've been told. They're gonna offer you a shot at joining the team anyway."

"What team?" Ortega asked, by now actually curious to what the other man was angling for. "Not football I hope."

"I wish," Chen said with a laugh. "No chance to join the league for us Mods."

"Ugh, I hate that nickname. Modified humans. Makes me feel like a car or something, and you still haven't told me what you're angling for." He dropped the towel, popping his neck a little. The cybernetic joints still felt slightly off, but he was moving smoother by the day.

"Not me. Them. The Government. They've dropped the quarantine, and are renaming the areas affected by the quake the 'Free Territories'."

"A catchy name is not going to make people move back there. Last I saw, there was not much left standing." Last thing he had seen had been a fabulous sunset from the Hollywood Cliffs, the ruined skyscrapers leaning drunkenly against the encroaching sea.

"Oh it's more than a catchy name. It's free of government control. Free of taxes. Free of police. Free of pesky environmental regulations. The new west, like the old west if you believe the slogans. I hear companies are already moving into the less destroyed areas. And with companies come roads, electricity and jobs."

"Jesus," Ortega said, looking at Chen as if he couldn't quite believe his words. "It's gonna be dog eat dog out there."

"It sure will be. But with the economy crashing and unemployment being what it is, there's enough people willing to take a chance that they can build a future for themselves. It's the American dream after all. And with Asia finally regulating things, there's few places left where anything goes."

"They sure got you drinking the Kool Aid. And what were you talking about before? About the government and joining teams?"

"Companies ain't gonna bother with things like police or firemen, there's going to be private security forces for their facilities and to hell with the rest. The military's been asked to help put together a special task force of people charged with keeping the peace."

"Because military rule has always been such a grand idea." Ortega walked over to the treadmill, striking up a steady pace. He was still getting used to the new weight of his body and the way his implants handled. Maybe he was more like a sports car than he liked to admit.

"I said the military's been asked to help." Chen leaned against the wall, settling for watching. "It's gonna be an autonomous organization, deputized directly by the president. More like the Marshals of old than navy seals."

"And they want me in? Forgive me if I sound a bit disbelieving."

"Oh trust me, if the military had a choice, this would all be staffed by trusted officers, but the President is keen on making this an independent organization. He wants civilians too. And you're already sort of famous after your daredevil exploits. You're a perfect candidate."

"Yeah, right," Ortega said with the deepest of cynical looks.

"I'm serious. It will be a team consisting only of Enhanced, don't tell me you'll back away from a shot at being a legit hero? And it will get you out of here."

Ortega stopped jogging, catching his breath. He was covered in sweat and far too out of shape, but he knew that would change in time. He wanted out of here any way possible, and if this was a way out without living in crippling debt for the rest of his life… could he afford to refuse? He'd never really considered any real career in life if you didn't count crazy stunts, but living on the edge meant you had an expiration date, and this… he hated to admit it, but it spoke to the twelve year old in him. The part of him that thought it was fun to fling oneself off tall buildings for sport. What did he have to lose anyway? Except his life, and he was already prepared to risk that on a daily basis. Had nearly gotten killed more than once. And this? A shot at respectability? At fame? At a limelight far shinier than he could ever have hoped for before?

"What the hell," he begun, shrugging a little. "I am in."

Three little words. Changing his future.

Three:

The hangar was flooded with lights, the air filled with the sharp, acrid stench of spray paint. In the middle of the floor loomed a massive suit of armor, a decommissioned military model with the weaponry removed and replaced with non-lethal varieties. It still towered over the head of the two people eying their handiwork, facemasks pushed up now that the worst chemicals had dissipated.

"Looking good," the tall woman said, hair tightly tied down by a shawl to protect it from the paint.

"A work of art," Ortega agreed, pulling his gloves off.

The armor said nothing. Without a pilot to bring its cybernetic systems to life it was looped in standby mode, ready for action at a moment's notice. A small light started to blink on the helmet, reacting to the presence of said pilot.

"Uh oh," Ortega said, just a moment before Chen barged past, pushing them both aside so he could get a look at his baby.

"I can't believe you did this!" the former soldier complained, about to touch the armor before he realized that the paint was still wet. "How could you?"

"It wasn't easy. Luckily Ayesha rigged us up a sandblaster so we could get down to the plasteel." Ortega gestured to the tall woman and tried to continue to explain, because it had been a lot harder than he had anticipated. But Jake interrupted.

"That's not what I meant! My armor... it's blue."

"And gold," Ayesha supplied helpfully.

"We thought about white, but decided that would get dirty right away."

"You're wearing white," Ayesha pointed out.

"That is because I am smooth," Ortega preened. "And it's mostly blue."

"You are so full of yourself. You just want to stand out the most."

She laughed and hit Ortega on the arm, something which made him wince. Unlike the men, she did not owe her status on the team to technology, but to drugs. And in that particular lottery of death or debilitation, she had hit the jackpot. Stronger than a bull, faster than a striking snake and able to take a point blank shot and be able to complain about it afterwards.

"No, I swear, it's a theme," he defended himself, rubbing his arm. "Lightning is sort of bluish white, and I run on electricity so..."

"Excuses, excuses, you're such a narcissist Ricardo."

"You painted my armor?" Chen finally managed to get out, having completed a full circle around his suit. "Why for the love of God would you do such a thing?"

"Because we're not military," Ortega said, their old arguments coming back for another round, the military man and the thrill-seeker, united for a common cause. "We have to look the part. We can't walk in like paramilitary forces and expect to be treated like proper law enforcement."

"Hence the police blue," Ayesha supplied.

"The gold is pure flash though. We can't just be cops. We have to be more." Ortega had spent a lot of time thinking about this, thinking about what impression they had to make. He had talked about it at length with Marek, and as the filmmaker had said, they couldn't allow themselves to be goons. They had to be more. They had to be heroes.

"It was a perfectly sensible camouflage." Chen kept walking around his armor, the helmeted head shifting slowly in response to his actions, close enough for the sensory weave to pick up his distress.

"We are supposed to be seen, not hiding." Ayesha stripped off the coveralls that covered her own suit, a protective nanomesh weave of the kind that had been used as the basis of space suits before earth became too much of a problem to be able to afford such flights of fancy. It was boldly blue and red, as much of a statement as the woman herself.

"Face it Wei, you're not in the military anymore." Ortega couldn't help it; the look on Chen's face was just too funny. Of all the indignities his friend had expected to endure here in their improvised base, having to deal with a repainted armor was apparently not one of them

"And you are not the leader of this merry outfit," he snapped, poking a finger in Ortega's chest. "I can't believe Marshal Burke authorized this."

"Authorized it? He thought it was a brilliant idea. Even the code names."

"Codenames?"

"You're Sergeant Steel, Ayesha is Sentinel and I am Charge." Ortega wasn't too happy, he'd spent last night tossing names back and forth with Ayesha, but none had really seemed to fit. This would have to do for now, maybe he would grow into it.

"How come I'm just a Sergeant?" Chen asked, momentarily distracted from his armor. "That's lower than my actual rank."

"Ahah!" Ayesha said, sliding up next to the man, looking like a lioness leaning in for a bite. "I told you he'd come around to the idea. And it's not about rank. It's about alliteration. Unless you want to be named something else?"

"I... don't want to be named anything at all, we could have proper codenames."

"Nobody is going to ask Bravo-6 to get a kitten down from a tree." To his credit, Ortega managed to say that with a completely straight face,

"There are no kittens in trees here anymore," Chen argued. "The city is wrecked!"

"My point still stands."

"Fine. I suppose it will have to do."

Capitulation at last, and it was all that Ortega could do not to rub his hands. Marek had been right; the lure of being something grander than what they really were was a seductive one. Why be a peacekeeping force, or government watchdogs when they could be heroes? Why have utilitarian outfits like the military when they could be larger than life? They were after all, all of them changed into something more than human. Enhanced.

It wasn't narcissism, it was just common sense.

#snippet #not canon #old source material #ortega #steel

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klatukattdreams · 7 years ago

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Vaughn/August reverse bang

My fic for @pastelyanpan fabulous drawing for the @borderlandsbigbang reverse bang!

“Uh, boss? You got an echo message.”

“Thanks, Sam,” said Vaughn, still focused on his rewiring project. “Who’s it from? Rhys? Sasha?”

“Someone named August.”

Vaughn looked up into Sam’s nervous face. Sam was one of the older generation of Hyperions who functioned better in a corporate setting and hadn’t adjusted well to life planet-side, so she had gotten the job of assistant. Vaughn thought her nervousness was a holdover from former bosses and their misplaced anger, but there was more to it.

“Yeah, it wasn’t in code or anything and it addresses you directly and it was sent over a wide band so it is really suspicious—” Sam was rambling and Vaughn put up a hand to stop her.

“Just play me the message.”

The speaker in Sam’s hand screeched with static before a familiar voice resolved itself. “…know you’re out there Vaughn, I know where you hide out, but this time you need to come to me. It’s August, by the way, and I got in some stupid trouble. I’m only asking for a place to stay. I know you hate me as much as I hate you but,” August’s voice suddenly became labored, “if you save this fake I’ll owe you one. Hell, I’ll owe you ten million. I’m at Howe’s Pit. You better come find me before anyone ELSE can.”

“It is strangely straightforward,” Sam commented.

“No no, there is one little code in there, meant just for me.” Vaughn kept talking but only to himself. “Which means it’s not a trap. Howe’s Pit is pretty close so he could have just come straight here which he only wouldn’t do if he was being tracked and didn’t want them following, then he contacted me because he knows I’m the only person with empathy on this planet – arrgh! Why me?” He looked back at Sam. “When did we receive this?”

“About five minutes ago.”

Vaughn sighed. “Then I’d better suit up quick if I’m gonna rescue this guy.”

Howe’s Pit was named for two reasons: because it was a pit stop for fixing and modifying any shitty vehicle you could scrape up, and also it was located in a large, deep crater. The high walls gave excellent protection from Pandora’s harsh climate as well as low visibility for the native predators. There were even a few buildings, though most of the crater was open, aside from canopies, to accommodate the ever shifting piles of car parts and equipment.

Vaughn had been to this place before and his team’s heavily modded car zig-zagged through the assembly without incident. It was a generally safe town as the population was more obsessed with cars than money. Glancing around he could see a few shrines to Scooter, the famed mechanic, who Fiona and Rhys had talked about with great feeling.

If August was injured, which was more than likely, he wouldn’t be out here in the grease, he’d be in one of the two buildings, probably one where he could get privacy and a drink. They parked outside a building marked simply BAR and Vaughn hopped down.

“Sweet rig you got there. Looking for more upgrades?” This salesman had appeared out of nowhere and loomed over Vaughn in a manner that was friendly, for now. Almost everyone on this planet was taller than Vaughn and he gave his usual comeback of the Silent Staredown, which would not have menacing except for the expressionless helmet that covered Vaughn’s face specifically for this purpose. “Okay, okay, I get it, but if you ever are looking come find Eugene, that’s me.”

Vaughn shrugged a shoulder and two of his crew followed him inside. He got his sights on who looked like they were running the place and hoped his voice modulator wouldn’t fail.

“I’m looking for August.”

“That guy?” The owner jerked his head to the side. “Bathroom. That way. Do me a favor and take the corpse with you. I got enough to clean up. This isn’t a bandit camp.”

Vaughn nodded and signaled that the other two should go wait by the car. He headed down the hall cautiously hoping the August wouldn’t shoot him first. Easing the door open with his foot he saw August quickly raise a gun from his slumped position against the sink. Slowly Vaughn raised his empty hand and formed it into the shape of a finger gun.

August relaxed. “I knew you would find me, nerd.” He tried to laugh but instead doubled over in pain.

Vaughn closed the door and took off his helmet. “What happened to you?” He helped August up to a seated position on the toilet and sat next to him on the edge of the tub. August’s midsection was poorly wrapped with bandages, probably self-applied, and while this room wasn’t the cleanest it was better than a lot of places for cleaning out wounds.

“A couple bastards wanted my organs, all because of a stupid bet.” August threw a couple more bloody rags in the sink in an attempt to clean up. “They tried to cut me open like a pair of freeking psychos. I thought this was supposed to be a calm town.” He groaned in pain again.

“Have you had any medical training?” Vaughn sighed. “Here, let me try and fix up your wound because that whole thing looks like a mess.”

“Ooh, you got a healing kit you can just stab in me?”

“No, but I do have an old school first aid kit.” Vaughn slid the slender pack out from its holster in his vest. “You may have missed it last time you were there, but the Children of Helios don’t have a lot of money.”

“Fine, sorry. Do what you gotta do.”

Vaughn opened the pack, slipped on some gloves and started working on cutting away the mass of blood-soaked bandages. “What happened to you? You had a pretty good thing going last time we met.”

“Yeah, well, after Vallory— after my mom died the gang split apart into different factions, as what normally happens here on Pandora, and all alliances went out the window. I thought I’d be all right. I had my bar and my business, but some of the old crew thought they could run it better and kicked me out of my own place. They could have done worse— ow! What the hell was that?”

“I’m sterilizing it. I need you to hold still for this next part.” Vaughn pulled out a tube of what was basically thick glue.

“Dang, when did you become a fancy frontier doctor?”

“College.”

“What?”

“Well… you know Rhys. Back in college he really tried to do the tough guy thing. He came back to the dorm beat up and bleeding more times than I can count. So, I got good at patching him up.”

“Heh, sounds like true love.”

“Yeah, well, it was only one sided,” Vaughn said bluntly.

“Huh. You gay for the guy?”

“Rhys is my best friend, and I learned a long time ago it was never going to be anything more than that.”

“That’s rough, especially since he treats you more like a lackey than a friend.”

Vaughn stopped, not expecting empathy from a guy like August. “Well, yeah, he does tend to do his own thing…” He didn’t want to think about Rhys and instead focused on smoothing down the medical tape on the abdomen of this rugged, muscular bandit.

“Okay!” Vaughn pulled away suddenly and started quickly packing up the first aid kit. “I saved your life like you asked. You can pay me back next time, whenever the hell that will be.”

“Vaughn wait,” August’s voice was pleading, “take me with you. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“August, I’m running a new kind of city. Believe me when I say there is no place for someone like you there.”

“Oh because you know me so well? You sure you don’t want to get to know me a little better?” August stood up slowly, partially because of his injury, partially to show off his well-maintained body.

“Are you seriously flirting with me right now?”

“Hey, I don’t have anything else to bargain with.” He gave a subtle shrug and Vaughn could tell exactly what he was doing.

“Urrg, why do I keep picking up strays?” Vaughn buried his face in his hands for a couple seconds before looking up. “Okay. But only because you look pathetic right now, AND you have to do exactly what I say.”

As Vaughn strapped the first aid kit back into his vest August collected his few items that he owned.

“Okay, we’re gonna walk you out of here like a prisoner. Tie your shirt around your head.”

“What? No! Why would that even be an option?”

“I don’t want anyone seeing your face,” said Vaughn sternly. “Look, you’re gonna have to trust me, okay?”

August grumbled but did as he was told. Vaughn put on his helmet and carefully grabbed August’s arms, pulling them behind his back. August barely flinched at the touch and played a good captive as Vaughn marched him out the front and into the back of his car. They sped off quickly and easily out of the crater and back to their secret hideout while Vaughn pondered what to do with this new asset.

"Can you get this thing off my head now?"

"Oh yeah, sure." Vaughn untied the makeshift bag and August squeezed back into his shirt, somewhat painfully in the cramped vehicle.

"So, you taking me on board? Making me part of the commune?"

" I haven't decided yet. By the way, can I see your Echo?"

"Sure."

"Thanks." Vaughn through the communication device straight out the window.

"What'd you do that for!"

"Technically, you are a prisoner, and we are really touchy about outside tech. That's how we stay hidden."

August folded his arms but was not nearly as grumpy as Vaughn suspected he would be.

Back at camp Vaughn hustled August back to his office before too many people could see the newcomer and start to worry.

Unfortunately, waiting for Vaughn was the most worrisome person he could have run into.

"Oh good, you're back." Sam had a stack of papers with her. "I was worried -- IS THAT A BANDIT?"

"Yes and no." Vaughn had given up hope of keeping this on the down low. "For now he is a friend."

"More like boyfriend." August draped his arm over Vaughn's shoulders and stared at Sam with a slightly menacing smile. Sam looked appropriately aghast.

Vaughn kept his voice calm. "Sam, could you excuse us for a moment." Once his assistant was gone he drew in a deep breath for a very short question: "Why?"

"I gotta establish a foothold somehow, since this place don't run on money or violence. She looked like the type to spread rumors and since these people worship you I should be a juicy piece of gossip."

"First of all, they don't worship me, they worship Rhys. I'm more of an administrative... leader... person-- and SECOND of all, you are a lying, manipulative bastard!"

“Yep. That’s how I survive. Since I am already seriously indebted to you I need at least one little bargaining chip.”

“So this is how it’s gonna be?”

“Well, this is how it starts. Who knows how our relationship will progress from here.”

Vaughn had to stop and switch gears. “You are flirting with me again, aren’t you?”

“Hey, I got nothing to lose and no one to impress except this little cult of yours.”

“It’s not a cult— Look. It’s not going to happen. I could never trust you enough to have a ‘relationship’ of any kind except hostage.”

August opened his mouth to object and then closed it.

“I have all the power here which means I also have all the responsibility, so while I try to find someplace for you to fit could you please just keep your mouth shut and not create any new problems for me? Please?”

“Whatever you say, boss.” August managed to hide his smirk. Authority looked good on Vaughn, really good.

#borderlands #Tales from the Borderlands #vaughn #august #vaughn/august #implied vaugh/rhys

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cordessanglantesofficial · 8 years ago

Text

You’ve quickly learned that ignoring any notifications coming from your phone — other than the IM channel — was a bad idea, so when your phone beeps with the normal announcement, a silent groan vibrates in your throat while you grab for it. You figure this can’t be about the motive, since you had about five more days until the deadline. Once you finally fumble with your phone, fear and dread consumes you. The hologram that projects is not that of the SysAdmin — rather, Marionette’s visage faces you.

“Surprised? Good. Report to the PARK in fifteen minutes. Attendance is mandatory and mon minou won’t be happy if he has to round up stragglers, so I wouldn’t recommend testing him. SysAdmin has updated your phone with our exact location.”

Her opaque body flickers out, leaving only the normal lock screen of your phone. The dread you felt before has formed into a weight in your chest. The first time you met the Wardens, the stood atop the General Store and told you of the game you would be playing. The second time was in the plaza, when their irritation reached a boiling point. The park, however, was far from any utilities of this damned prison.

( No one could have caved — could they? )

Your thoughts turn to the motive, and the weight in your chest just becomes heavier and a knot forms in your stomach. The motive was just a scare tactic, wasn’t it? A joke to get something to happen?

( We still have time to figure this out...right? )

You realize you don’t want to keep the Wardens waiting, partially out of respect, but mostly out of fear. You slip your shoes on and start to make your way to the meeting spot.

Little did you know, the countdown had already stopped.

Current Time: 1450 hours

You arrive at the meeting spot to discover the rather large group (to you, that is — to others it was overwhelmingly small) has gathered in a sort of circle. In the middle stood Marionette, Chat Blanc faithfully at her side. The glee that reflected in her eyes makes your blood run cold. You look around, trying to find the reason you’re here.

It comes to you in the form of a human hand protruding from the ground.

( Oh, God. Someone — someone actually did it! )

Your stomach churns, a wave of nausea setting in. Someone was dead — someone you knew. Looking around, you can’t seem to pick out who’s missing from the crowd. You can’t tell who’s dead and the hand gives little away. Even worse was the knowledge that one of the people you saw was a murderer. You glance around again to study reactions. Many seem sick as you had, some mortified, but some stood with a neutral expression. Those were the ones who had been through this before, you assume, or were around death often.

( This isn’t the first time for some of them. How horrible. )

You force the panic rising past the sickness, because the last thing you want to do is lose your cool. A voice rings out, breaking you from your train of thought.

“About time someone died. I was starting to wonder if I was going to have to do it myself.”

Marionette glanced to her partner, happily smiling as she spoke to only him, instead of speaking up to the group.

“I was actually looking forward to sinking my claws into someone.”

There’s a whine and a pout from the white-clad Warden, but he’s quickly placated by a scratch behind the ears from Marionette.

“You’ll get your chance eventually. Be patient, mon minou. So, shall we begin?”

You are anxious to start this meeting, to advance to the next stage of this so-called “game,” but you don’t dare interrupt the duo. They leave you standing awkwardly, fidgeting until they decide to stop lounging around. After a minute that feels like an eternity to you, they finally give the crowd their attention.

“You have a dead body, and now you have a killer to find. We’re giving you one day.”

A few people protest Marionette’s time frame, but others remain silent. They stop completely when Chat Blanc’s irritated voice breaks through.

“SysAdmin has updated your phone. I suggest you open them now, assholes.”

Not wanting to risk angering them, you pull out your phone and upon unlocking it, you see a brand new application. Opening it, you see an organized list titled The Cat’s Notes — File 1. The implication that more people will die and more files will come send a shiver down your body.

“We want you all to have a fair chance to figure the killer out, because we’re nice like that. Sys, hurry it up.”

Chat Blanc’s irritation was now laced with excitement, a concerning thing within itself. Which Warden should you fear more — the cat that’s ready to pounce at any moment and rip you to shreds with his claws or the calculating, beautiful woman who stands tall and turns your blood to ice? You don’t think about it anymore as The Cat’s Notes app is forcefully shut down and Sys’s body projects from your phone. She groans and starts to talk in the singularly most bored voice you’ve ever heard.

“The Cat’s Notes contain information my Masters have decided you deserve to know. The primary file will contain the information that comes directly from them. Now if you slide the fucking screen left like a normal person, you’ll see a blank document. It’s shared between all of you idiots and will update in real time. Feel free to jot down all evidence here — or don’t. I don’t really give a shit. Swipe left one more time and you get your own personal document, because you need it apparently. Whoop-dee-fucking-do, you’re big kids now. Oh, I have full access to all of these, private or not, so if you’re going to write weird smut, don’t. I’ll send it to everyone just to spite you.”

With that, SysAdmin gives a sigh and an eyeroll, then flickers out. The file app was pulled up automatically and the hard truth finally sets in. What the Wardens said at the start was really true.

( One person’s already dead, and someone else is going to be executed. Oh, God...this isn’t a cruel joke after all. )

Marionette raises her voice one last time to address us further.

“Like Blanc said, we want you to have a fair chance at cracking this case, so you might want to pay attention.”

A sigh leaves her as she licks her lips, echoing SysAdmin’s previous boredom. Once she had our undivided attention again, she huffs and gives us some final words.

“Neither I nor Chat Blanc will lie to you. The only people you can trust are us. Ironic, I know. You can ask us questions if you truly feel like it, but I won’t guarantee we’ll answer. We’re not going to hold your hands.”

With that, Marionette turns and walks toward one side of the circle; your fellow prisoners part to let her pass. Chat Blanc follows shortly after, but stops short and throws a look over his shoulder. His lips are stretched into a grin that is reminiscent of a Cheshire grin.

“I suggest you get started. Time is ticking.”

And just like that, he walks away to join Marionette. A beep has you checking your phone. A new counter has appeared, reading 23:59:53. You suppress your nerves and look around to the crowd. You have just twenty four hours to find a murderer — or suffer the Wardens’ punishment.

It’s time to get started.

Chuuya Nakahara (ofgravity)

Tessa De Witt (starsmusestation)

Brigette Cheng (ladibugs)

Clive Dove (iamclivedove)

Time of death was at 0030 hours.

The body was discovered at 1430 hours.

The cause of death is a snapped neck.

The Body

There is only a single hand visible sticking out of the ground.

That is all that is currently visible, you will have to find the rest.

The Location

There is still dirt all over the place like there was a rush to dig something.

The hand is sticking out of a mound of dirt and grass.

There seems to be one set of footprints around the mount, but the prints are smudged and overlapping.

There seems to be one footprint that is relatively undisturbed, the exact size is unknown but seems to be no larger than a size 9.

Outside of the mound of dirt, nothing appears to be out of place here.

Google doc, will be linked as soon as one is made.

You are free to ask Marionette or Chat Blanc any questions you may have. That does not mean they will answer you (really depends on their moods), however their answers will be 100% truthful.

The two wardens are not the only people you can ask questions to, there are various NPCs that you can ask questions to as well.

Marionette nor Chat Blanc will confirm or deny your alibis unless they are directly linked to them/involve their presence in some way.

ALL INQUIRIES SHOULD BE SENT TO THIS BLOG.

The investigation period is purely an evidence collection period. There are no special requirements / asks / whatever you have to send into us. You are left on your own to look over the evidence provided and put together what you believe is a motive, a murder scene, and a culprit.

The mod team will not help you here unless within reason ( read: confirming found evidence, witness accounts, etc. )

Do NOT inject your own evidence into the scene without asking a mod. If you have guesses to where items (such as weapons, clothes, etc) may be, you can ask one of the mods. Unless you get it right, we will not tell you or give you permission to find these items.

Once the investigation period is over (give it a few days to a week), you will collect all evidence and present it at the trial and duke it out with your fellow group members to either prove someone’s innocence or their guilt.

If a mod adds any evidence or if anything else comes to mind, we will post it to the tag. Same for if another muse discovers evidence. Do not rush us for responses to inquiries about evidence / etc. We will reply as quickly as we can!

PLEASE NOTE THE ONLY PERSONAL ACCOUNT OF EVENTS (SOMEONE SAYING THEY SAW SOMETHING / DID SOMETHING) THAT CAN 100% BE BELIEVED IS MARIONETTE OR CHAT BLANC’S. ALL OTHER CHARACTERS MAY OR MAY NOT BE LYING. YOUR WARDENS ARE THE ONLY ONES YOU CAN TRUST TO NEVER, EVER TELL A LIE.

#; body drop #chapter one; countdown #v; cordes sanglantes

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blackhatseoguy · 7 years ago

Text

Nofollow links are not useless: Earning them Is central to good SEO

this tool is not for amateurs newbies don't click this

With major publishers like Inc., Forbes and The Huffington Post placing the rel=”nofollow” tag on their external links, the sky is once again falling. Or not. In fact, I’ve always believed that earning nofollow links was an important part of any SEO strategy built to last.

The reality of the situation is that nofollow links are good for your SEO, full stop. Whether your evidence comes from case studies, personal experience or correlative data, the answer is the same.

We can debate about whether nofollow links have any direct impact on rankings until the cows come home, but in the end, it just doesn’t matter that much. What matters is that, if you are earning nofollow links on high-profile platforms, you are earning brand exposure, referral traffic and various off-site signals that do help your rankings in the search results.

I have witnessed the effect myself far too often to conclude otherwise, and anybody who has been in this industry long enough knows that you shouldn’t decide to pursue — or decline to pursue — a link based upon whether or not a link is nofollowed.

Let me present the evidence, and then I’ll explain how you can make the most of link building by incorporating nofollow links in the appropriate way.

Nofollow links can definitely help SEO: The evidence

I feel comfortable saying that nofollow links definitely help your SEO, although most of the benefits are probably indirect. The exposure associated with a high-profile nofollow link is well worth the effort and contributes positively to your visibility in search results, as well as sending direct referral traffic and improving brand reach. It also appears to be almost indisputable that nofollow links help pages get indexed.

It’s more speculative to say that nofollow links can, in some cases, directly improve your rankings, and I won’t commit to a statement that strong. What I can say is that search engines reserve the right to ignore the nofollow tag, and I suspect that they do for some links they view as editorially placed and trustworthy.

Remember that Google’s own answer is that “In general, we don’t follow them.” (Emphasis mine.) This seems to imply that, while they usually don’t follow them, they sometimes do.

Perhaps more importantly, if your link-building strategy places importance on whether or not a link is nofollowed, then you are using the wrong link-building strategy. Google guidelines have been clear on this for a very long time. If you’re doing something just for the SEO value, it’s probably a violation of the Google guidelines.

Your link-building strategies should be focused on building exposure that leads to organic SEO signals. That is where the real value is.

But let’s not talk about platitudes. Let’s talk about evidence.

Case studies

Consider this case study by TekNicks. Between January of 2014 and May of 2015, they helped a client earn 99 links. Of those, only 11 were followed. The remaining 88 links were all nofollowed links — 89 percent of the total.

But during that period, the client saw 288 percent growth in their organic search traffic. At the end of the period, the client ranked in their top position for their main keyword, which TekNicks claims is “very competitive,” and which receives 2,000 monthly searches.

At the end of this period, they additionally ranked for an even more competitive keyword, with 8,100 monthly searches. For the period, organic traffic grew from 1,700 sessions a month to 6,500 sessions.

But, perhaps equally importantly, one of the nofollow links they earned sent 3,922 referrals between January and October of 2014.

And TekNicks isn’t the only agency to experience something like this. Fractl has three excellent examples of nofollow links working wonders for clients, demonstrating the power of media exposure.

They developed an infographic called “Your Face as an Alcoholic” for client Rehabs.com, which quickly hit the front page after they shared it with the Daily Mail in 2014. The resulting exposure led to coverage in 900 media stories, including The Huffington Post and the New York Daily News.

Only 30 percent of those newly-earned links were dofollow, and they earned over 14,000 shares on social media.

In a second example, Fractl placed a story for a client on Yahoo Travel, exposing how expensive hotels often have more germs than cheaper hotels. This featured article led to coverage in 700 stories, a third of which contained dofollow links, as well as 23,000 social shares.

Finally, one Fractl client saw a 271 percent increase in organic search traffic resulting from an exclusive, but nofollowed, link on BuzzFeed.

In a more controlled test, Eli Schwartz of SurveyMonkey demonstrated that, at a minimum, nofollow links definitely help pages get indexed.

After SurveyMonkey moved its blog from the subdomain to their root domain, Eli ran a few tests on the old subdomain URLs. He modded the 404 page, including a link to a page with bogus anchor text. Google crawled the 404 page and indexed the test page in under 48 hours, after it was included in a newly published item. The resulting link even carried the anchor text.

Running the same test again with a link to a different page, he tried using a nofollow link instead. As you can probably guess, Google indexed the URL, even though the hyperlink was nofollowed. He did notice, however, that the anchor text didn’t carry over.

How Google treats nofollowed links

Nofollowed links are also typically accompanied by brand mentions. According to a Google Patent, brand mentions may be considered “implied links.” In other words, if a brand gets mentioned online, this may be treated in a similar manner to an actual link. While we don’t know for sure, a brand mention along with a nofollow link may also help the search engines in understanding the semantic link between a brand mention and the website it refers to, since brand mentions are less clear due to their less explicit nature.

Whether “co-citation” of this form helps traditional search results, it’s certainly clear that citations help local search. In one example, local SEO Phil Frost explains how including citations (with name, address and phone number) in a press release helped a client move from position 20 to position 1 in local search results for their primary keyword. In this case, despite the links being no-followed, the citations clearly helped their client rank.

Case studies by Search Engine Land and Moz, in addition to more recent case studies that come out on a fairly routine basis, demonstrate that it is still possible to improve rankings using press release distribution. While we generally avoid this tactic unless it’s also used with the primary goal of generating press, it continues to be popular even though the majority of press release distribution sites now contain nofollowed links. That press releases still help with SEO is a testament to the value of nofollow links in this context, whether direct or indirect.

Correlative analysis of observational ranking data conducted by Ahrefs also suggests that a relatively even split between dofollow and nofollow links may help rankings. While correlative studies have their flaws, primarily because they can’t establish a cause and effect relationship, it would be a mistake to ignore them.

Likewise, Moz’s analysis of ranking factors finds a 0.32 correlation between the number of nofollow links pointing to a page and rankings. This is nearly identical to the correlation between the number of external domains linking to a page and its rankings, which sits just 0.02 higher, at 0.34.

One can rightfully argue that these correlation studies could just be showing us that successful pages are more likely to get linked to, and thus are more likely to receive nofollowed links. This is a reasonable objection, but it applies equally to followed links, and, with such a small difference in correlations, it does make one wonder if nofollowed links could actually contribute directly to rankings.

Regardless of whether or not this is the case, the case studies above demonstrate definitively that, directly or indirectly, nofollow links can have a dramatic positive impact on search engine rankings. My personal experience with nofollow links leads me to the same conclusions.

How to maximize the SEO value of nofollow links

1. Remember: The anchor text is meaningless for keyword rankings

Whether or not nofollow links can directly improve your rankings, it’s clear that the anchor text is most likely ignored entirely.

If you are earning nofollow links with SEO in mind, anchor text should be the last thing on your mind, or more accurately, you shouldn’t be thinking much about keywords when it comes to anchor text.

The primary value of the link is in getting people to visit your site directly, and that means the purpose of the anchor text is to get people to click through and see more. That means the anchor text should pique the reader’s curiosity as much as possible, promise them something in a clear and non-deceptive way or address objections the user might have to clicking the link.

2. Focus on an audience of influencers

Other than receiving direct clicks from your target audience, the main thing you want a nofollow link to accomplish is to earn additional followed links from trusted influencers.

Earning those links means producing content that appeals to journalists, thought leaders, microcelebrities and others who have large audiences of their own.

This means that your content should be going the extra mile, since influencers are generally the most voracious infovores in your industry. They know almost everything, and they aren’t easy to surprise.

How do you catch these people’s attention with your content? There are two primary methods:

Focus on novelty.

Focus on being comprehensive.

These can be subdivided into far more categories, but these are the primary things to focus on.

Focusing on novelty means providing influencers with things they’ve never seen before. The best examples of this type of content include:

orginal research, such as surveys, experiments, or studies

interactive tools like web apps

“investigative journalism”-style work that provides insider information

exclusive interviews

news

event coverage

proprietary information

Focusing on being comprehensive includes things like:

ultimate guides

white papers

how-to videos

e-books

courses

“30-Day Challenges”

introductions and primers

glossaries and dictionaries

In short, say something new, or distill something big.

If you do this, and then get your resource published on a major platform, it doesn’t matter whether or not your link is followed or nofollowed. What is important is how the exposure will lead to coverage in the press, on social networks, on blogs and magazines and so on.

By making influencers your audience, you maximize your reach and SEO impact.

3. Use the opportunity to mention your brand

As I mentioned above, Google patents suggest that a simple mention of your brand can help improve your visibility in the search results. Such brand mentions may be treated as “implied links” and, if so, likely carry similar authority metrics, so that a mention in a more authoritative media platform results in a stronger rankings boost.

Whether Google has actually put this patent to use and found that it helped their rankings algorithm is unclear, but brand mentions are valuable for obvious reasons, and can indirectly benefit your SEO as well.

Brand mentions lead to increased searches for your brand name, which in turn can help your rankings in a virtuous feedback cycle.

While you shouldn’t name-drop shamelessly, don’t skip the chance to promote your brand when you place a nofollow link on an authoritative platform.

4. Leverage social media

Failure to pursue nofollow links can hurt your SEO performance in many ways, but one of the worst consequences is the tendency to avoid techniques that involve (typically nofollowed) social media.

Google has explicitly stated many times that there are no special ranking factors developed for social networks.

Since Google evidently doesn’t use “likes” and “retweets” as ranking factors, and since links on social platforms are nofollowed, some in the SEO industry ask, “Why bother?”

Well, for starters, as I mentioned above, Google’s own statements on nofollow suggest that they sometimes do count nofollowed links, even though in general they don’t. Moz’s correlation studies certainly find very strong correlations between social media activity and rankings. Could the nofollowed links from this social activity be counting toward rankings?

There’s no way to know for sure, but the correlation is meaningful either way.

What social media undoubtedly can do is earn you attention that leads indirectly to links. Viral activity on social networks inevitably leads to media coverage and followed links. Scrapers also replicate links from social media in other locations, often without the nofollow tag.

Social media platforms are perhaps the most effective way to amplify your content’s reach in the short term. In addition to sharing your content with your own audience, you can leverage other influencers by reaching out to personalities that are popular on social media. If you do so tactfully, you can reach much larger audiences. This activity inevitably leads to naturally earned links, as well as various other off-page activity that helps improve your rankings.

5. Republishing

Republishing your content on major platforms is a tactic that frequently results in nofollowed links, but if the platforms attract a large enough audience, this is well worth the effort. Since many bloggers and editors refer to major media platforms for their sources, if you can get republished on a major platform, you can earn editorial links from the writers who cite those platforms frequently.

While it’s true that some of these writers will cite the republished version, more vigilant writers will click the nofollowed link and cite your website as the original source, since links to primary sources are preferred by writers who take research seriously.

More speculatively, it’s possible that under some circumstances, Google will see the duplicate content and identify your original publication as the primary source, and as a result, transfer the search engine authority from the other duplicates to your original. I have witnessed effects that seem to imply this is happening, although it would be hasty to conclude with too much certainty that this is exactly what is going on.

Either way, it’s as clear as day that republishing content on more popular platforms expands your reach, puts your brand in front of more eyeballs and increases your likelihood of getting cited with a link by other writers.

6. Get obsessed with referral traffic

Too many in this industry are focused on building links without concerning themselves with whether or not those links actually send any referral traffic.

It’s been said many times but it can never be said enough: the most valuable links are the ones you earn organically and editorially — when people link to you without you reaching out or doing anything else to earn the link.

I’m not arguing that those are the only kinds of links you should be earning, but if you optimize your own “manual” link-building efforts in such a way that it generates the largest number of organic links, you are approaching link building the way you should be.

Few things more reliably produce organic links than sheer traffic. It’s probable that a certain percentage of your readership will always end up linking to you if you have enough readers. So if you can expand the number of people who see your content, you can expand the number of people who will link to you.

Oh, and referral traffic is valuable on its own, too. But you knew that already, right?

So, how do you go about earning nofollow links that send traffic?

I would argue that the primary thing to focus on is earning links that grow your traffic in a cumulative fashion. In other words, it’s not the link that sends you a thousand visits one day and zero the next that you really want to chase. It’s the link that sends 100 visits a day every day for the foreseeable future that you really want to get your hands on.

Here are some of the types of links that can help you accomplish that:

Quora. If you’ve ever answered a question on Quora, you’ve probably noticed that while the referral traffic numbers aren’t necessarily high for any given question, you tend to see traffic from Quora for a very long time after posting an answer. Build up a lot of these and you will start seeing cumulative growth in referral traffic.

Pinterest. While its traffic-driving power isn’t quite as strong as it was when it first made a splash, it is still an incredibly useful referral source that sends a lot of traffic when an image does really well.

Forums. I know they seem like a throwback from the 1990s, but forums are still incredibly popular, and if you use them in a similar fashion to Quora, they can send you long-term cumulative traffic, especially if the forum allows you to link to your site in your forum signature or elsewhere.

SlideShare. Presentations here can attract a very different type of audience and can be a constant source of traffic, especially if you are in the B2B sector.

Interviews. Interview an influencer, and they are likely to promote that interview on their own platforms. If they publish it on their site, the link can sometimes become evergreen and send a continuous drip of traffic.

Resource lists. These are especially popular on educational sites. Inclusion in somebody’s resource list is almost guaranteed to be an evergreen traffic source if their site has enough traffic.

YouTube. A YouTube video that does well with the algorithm becomes an evergreen source of brand mentions and traffic.

Podcasts. These can be a great source of long-term traffic for the same reasons as YouTube videos.

If you stop chasing the followed link and shift your obsession toward upping your referral traffic, you start to realize how unimportant the nofollow tag really is, both in terms of growing your overall traffic, and even in improving your authority with the search engines.

The myth that nofollow links are useless for SEO needs to die. A solid SEO strategy is not concerned with whether the manual links you place will directly impact your SEO. A thorough reading of the Google guidelines should, in fact, lead you to the conservative assumption that no link you place yourself counts toward rankings. The indirect effects are where the true value lies, and it is where you should be focusing the majority of your effort.

This is another great pure SEO spam tool that still works in 2017

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