#i feel so so bad for poor meryl but also she's making the best expressions in this whole thing so far

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I started watching the Trigun movie and I had to take a break halfway through because I am being inundated with... so much. So much.

Like I'm enjoying it immensely and I've laughed out loud multiple times but also why does this feel like I'm watching a fanfic

[jack-thepumpkinking-blog1]

Jack Skellington -- Character Sheet

everybody's waiting for the next surprise / skeleton Jack might catch you in the back / and scream like a banshee / make you jump out of your skin / this is halloween, everybody scream

won't ya please make way for a very special guy / our man Jack is King of the Pumpkin patch / everyone hail to the Pumpkin King, now!

Archetype — The Hero Birthday — October 31, 1960 Zodiac Sign — Scorpio MBTI — ENFP Enneagram — 7, the enthusiast Temperament — Sanguine Hogwarts House — Slytherpuff Moral Alignment — Chaotic Good Primary Vice — Pride Primary Virtue — Charity Element — Air

[tw -- miscarriage mention, implied abuse (but v vague)]

Overview:

Mother — Eve (nee Meyer) Schildkraut (deceased) Father — Benjamin Schildkraut (deceased) Mother’s Occupation — homemaker Father’s Occupation — construction worker Family Finances — Poor (until Jack got rich.) Birth Order — Only child. Brothers —  None. Sisters — None. (Had a miscarried sister.) Other Close Family — Fern Bristlecape (second ex-wife) (FC: Sarah Michelle Gellar), Nemesis Hellsplat (first ex-wife) (FC: Katey Sagal), Hecuba Hellsplat (daughter, 32) (FC: Natalie Portman), Luna Bristlecape (daughter, 22) (FC: Emmy Rossum) Best Friend — None. Other Friends — None. They all dropped him when he fell out of favor, think about THAT. Enemies — None, tbh. Anti-Magick people probably. Pets — None. He should probably get a dog or something. Home Life During Childhood — Rough. His dad was a drinker and spent all their money, and he wouldn’t listen to his wife about needing to save any of it. Jack was always a...creative boy and his father saw it as emasculating, so he didn’t really tolerate Jack’s love of theatre. Which is why he moved out at such a young age (18). Once he had the money, he tried to convince his mom to move to LA with him, it didn’t work. Town or City Name(s) — Swynlake, England (born), LA, California, USA (where he’s lived most of his life.) What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — POSTERS. POSTERS EVERYWHERE. Jack spent the meager amount of money he did make as a young boy mowing lawns to go to the movies and to buy posters to decorate every surface of his room. Any Sports or Clubs — Drama club, secretly. Football, outwardly. Wasn’t actually half-bad but he got benched a lot because his heart just wasn’t in it. Also! Plays jazz piano. His mumma taught him. Favorite Toy or Game — Make-up. Dress-up. Dolls, so that he could act out his favorite scenes from movies. Spent a lot of time just--memorizing shit and monologuing to his mother while she cleaned the house. She called him her little parrot. Schooling — Went to Swynlake Primary and Secondary. No university. Favorite Subject — English and Drama. Popular or Loner — Popular. Definitely. Important Experiences or Events — Moving to LA! His first job! All his subsequent jobs! The birth of his daughters! The destruction of his career. Nationality — British Culture — LA (yes, that is a culture fight me.) Religion and beliefs — Jewish, but nonpracticing. Believes in hardwork.

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim —  Jeff Goldblum Complexion — Darker skin tone but still fair. Hair Colour — Salt’n’pepper, used to be black. Eye Colour — Hazel. Height — 6’4 Build — Skeletal Tattoos — None. Piercings — None. Common Hairstyle — Coiffed. Clothing Style — Eccentric, loves a good turtleneck. Mannerisms — Very Loud and wiggly. Is never sitting still for long. Likes to climb on furniture. Doesn’t sit in chairs properly. Usual Expression —

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — Nah, he’s in good health. Physical Ailments — None. Neurological Conditions — None. Some depression? Allergies —  Probably seasonal. Grooming Habits — Pretty good, ofc. Has to keep in Tip Top shape, even if he no longer has stylists Sleeping Habits — Has a bad case of insomnia. Eating Habits — Eats well, he’s a vegan. Exercise Habits —  Exercises more or less regularly. Does yoga mostly. And like...cycling. Emotional Stability — Has a lot of shit going on underneath but pretty chill outwardly. Body Temperature — Runs a little cold actually. Always has cold af hands. Sociability — Super social! Though mostly for his own benefit. Addictions — None. Drug Use — Used to be heavier. Probably smokes weed, but also do we want a Jack high on the marijuana? Alcohol Use — Frequent but not abnormal.

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — Talking over people, being self-centered, being insensitive. Good Habits — He tries !! and he’s very healthy aha Best Characteristic — He CARES, he’s just not great at showing it Worst Characteristic — Literally does not care. Worst Memory — Getting absolutely destroyed by all media outlets and falling from grace. Best Memory — The premiere of hemlock hill ofc! Proud of — His career. Embarrassed by — Not much, really, but deeply upset about his career being trashed. Driving Style — Erratic lmao Strong Points — He is a very good teacher, when he actually focuses properly. Temperament — Always good-natured! Unless you really piss him off, he can turn really cold and vicious almost without warning. Attitude — Happy-go-lucky, outwardly anyway. Weakness — Caring too much what other people think, while also not listening to anything people say when they give advice. Fears — becoming irrelevant. Phobias — None. Secrets — That he is Deeply Unhappy. Regrets — Lots of things, mostly not having a good relationship with his daughter, Hecuba, which is why he has a better one with Luna. Feels Vulnerable When — People drag up the shit that made him lose his career and fame. Pet Peeves — People not recognizing him or being purposefully obtuse. Conflicts — Wanting to continue to be famous v refusing to change. Motivation — To be Famous. Short Term Goals and Hopes — To be Famous again. Long Term Goals and Hopes — To be Famous again. Sexuality — Straight, but he can be convinced, probably has had dalliances with men. Exercise Routine  — Does yoga every morning and evening. Day or Night Person — Night owl, for sure. Introvert or Extrovert — EXTROVERT. Optimist or Pessimist — Optimist.

Likes and Styles:

Music — Jack can play the piano and was in a jazz band for a while, so he loves music, especially jazz! But, really, he can get into anything. He tries to stay #hip for his students. Books — His book, of course, you should read it. Also reads a lot of plays/scripts. Magazines — Any magazine that mentions him. Foods — He’s a vegan! So, vegan food. Loves a good tofu. Has to eat well to keep his svelte figure. Drinks — Tall, half-caff, soy latte at 120 degrees. (I have absolutely no idea what this means but I googled “complicated starbucks orders” and this is what came up.) Also, likes tea. The like one piece of British culture he retained. Animals — Jack is very fond of strange animals–like okapis or the maned wolf. Animals that are just truly bizarre looking. Bonus points if they are obnoxiously large like giraffes. Sports — Played football in secondary. Wasn’t that bad. Social Issues — Magick Rights! Also, considers himself a feminist. (He’s not a terrible ally...but he’s also not perfect by any means.) Favorite Saying — “Acting is not about being someone different. It's finding the similarity in what is apparently different, then finding myself in there.” ~ Meryl Streep Color — Jack is a big fan of black and white–a solid, classic combination that you can’t go wrong with. That’s not to say he doesn’t love color, because he ABSOLUTELY does. It is just that black and white is his favorite combination. Clothing — Loves to dress brightly and fashionably! Jewelry — Not a whole lot. Wears nice watches, probably some rings/necklaces. Websites — His website, which I should make lmao. TV Shows — Hemlock Hill. Movies — His movies, Greatest Want — To be famous. Greatest Need — To learn.

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — A large, eccentric mansion on top of a hill. I like to think that it is across from Cruella’s house. It is, of course, called the Skellington Mansion. Household furnishings — An eclectic combination of modern with like the skeleton of a Victorian mansion, so like really ornate, heavy curtains--but a white leather sofa. Favorite Possession — His Emmys. Most Cherished Possession — Is this not the same thing - Jack Neighborhood — The Woods Married Before — Twice! Once to a sorceress-actress, once to a fairy-model. Significant Other Before — Lots of girlfriends probably (all Magicks). Children — Hecuba Hellsplat and Luna Bristlecape Relationship with Family — Estranged for the most part. He barely, if ever, speaks to his ex-wives. Talks with Hecuba very rarely. Has the best relationship with Luna. She’s his bb girl. Car — Some speedster probably, a nice fancy, flashy car. Career — Actor. Dream Career — Actor. Dream Life — He had his dream life. Cry. Love Life — More or less nonexistent. Talents or Skills — Excellent at memorization. A good parrot (can mimic mannerisms/speech patterns really well.) Can play the jazz piano! Intelligence Level — Quite high on certain things, absolutely clueless on others. There is not a lot of in between, really. Finances — Still wealthy af, he has like a successful 40 year career to live off of for the foreseeable future.

[jakelace]

2016 Film Countdown: 60-51

60. Ratchet and Clank

We start day two out with another poor video game adaptation. Ratchet and Clank are characters that I personally don’t have much history with. Prior to the film I had only played the original and a few spin-offs (All 4 One anybody?) but that was it, so I wasn’t beholden to any prior conceptions of who these characters are and what sort of adventure they should tackle in their first, and now probably only, feature film. That being said, I shouldn’t have liked this film as much as I did. It is plagued by strange character developments, out of place humor, and weird vocal performances from Paul Giamatti and Sylvester Stallone. But even as a casual fan there were enough references to planets and weapons from the games that put a smile on my face, and the fact that James Arnold Taylor, David Kaye, Jim Ward, and Armin Shimerman all reprise their roles from the games is just icing on the cake. Don’t get me wrong though, it’s bad and if you aren’t a fan you’ll hate it. At least the animation is gorgeous.

59. Masterminds

It’s never a good sign when a film gets delayed significantly, and Masterminds is no exception in the slightest. What happened to Jared Hess? He started out so strong as the director of the indie hit Napoleon Dynamite, only to follow that up with Nacho Libre and a string of more mediocre films leading us to this. The film’s main problem is that it tries so painstakingly hard to be funny when it just isn’t. It follows a loose adaptation of a real life bank heist and it’s loose to the point where I’m not even sure you can say it’s based on a true story anymore. Zach Galifianakis and Kristin Wiig play our leads and try to do their best with the bad material given to them. Actually, now that I think about it, this film and The Angry Birds Movie have something in common! Other than being bad! It’s that Jason Sudeikis does his best to be the film’s saving grace. Unfortunately for him, both films are already too far gone...

58. Rules Don’t Apply

Rules Don’t Apply was a film that I was actually looking forward to. It had all the makings of a good time at the movies in my eyes. Period piece? Check. Based in Hollywood? Check. Great cast? Check. Imagine my disappointment when this didn’t come together well at all. The problem lies in that the film focuses much to hard on the late life of Howard Hughes, and not enough on the relationship that was sold to us in the trailers and promotional materials. The other complication is that it fails to be interesting past the one hour mark, but still has the nerve to continue another hour after that. It’s clear that the general movie-going audience also caught on to the film’s mistakes considering it only grossed 3.7 million dollars through its run. The high point of the film, however, is Lily Collins’ performance of the titular song.

57. Why Him?

James Franco is by far one of my favorite comedic actors. His chops in This Is The End, Pineapple Express, and even The Night Before endeared him to me, so my excitement level was quite high when I heard there would be a new film centered around him. Unfortunately, the end result is a near humorless retread of Meet the Parents through the eye of the parent (portrayed by Bryan Cranston). Its two leads are at some of their least funny and are acting below their obvious skill levels significantly. If this script had been worked by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg I’m sure they could have found the humor in such a well-worn idea, but alas, what we are left with is something too crass for children and too juvenile for adults. It leaves you questioning, “Who was this made for?”

56. Suicide Squad

Alright everybody. The charade is up. It’s time for us all to admit that this movie is bad, no, horrible even. I can admit that when I first saw it I was a hardcore Suicide Squad apologist. Most of that was due to my love for the source material outweighing the logic in my brain though. Suicide Squad, even more than just being bad, barely functions as a film. It is so obviously a mix between two tones and cuts of a picture that once you’re finished, you don’t know how you should feel, and it’s even worse not knowing who to blame for it. Should we blame DC for the half of the film that is a Guardians of the Galaxy rip-off, or should we blame David Ayer (the film’s director) for the half of the film that is dark, gritty, and glorifying of gangsters like the Joker, while also objectifying women like Margot Robbie (who plays Harley Quinn, my favorite DC villian. What have you done to her DC...what have you done?). I know, maybe we should blame the people like myself who allowed this film to make 325 million dollars at the box office. We’re a big part of the reason we don’t get good DC films...

55. Florence Foster Jenkins

I really find it hard to explain what I didn’t like about this movie. The performances are good (especially from Meryl Streep and Simon Helberg) and the direction is fine, it just felt like it was missing something. The more I think about it since it was released though, the more I think that it was just missing heart. The story alone is fine (even if the film never truly condemns the actions of St. Clair Bayfield) but by the end of the film all I was saying to myself was “That was it?”. Maybe I put too much pressure on it from the start, but Florence Foster Jenkins is a film I don’t see myself returning to even though I can appreciate the performances from its leads. 

54. Cafe Society

This movie can easily be summed up with one word: Meh. It’s decent enough I suppose, with funny and even some interesting moments, but it never does anything to pull itself out of mediocrity, and Woody Allen’s dialogue does not help it. Cafe Society follows Jesse Eisenberg’s character through the pitfalls of love, family, and business in the 1930′s. It’s main problem other than the unintentionally laughable dialogue is the fact that as a concept there just isn’t enough there to sustain it. On top of that the relationships feel hollow and unrealistic and you can’t help but wonder how Woody Allen could have fallen so far from his hit Annie Hall.

53. Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

Anyone who knows me knows that I like this movie beyond my better judgement. That’s because Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates stars my two favorite actresses (Anna Kendrick and Aubrey Plaza) as well as two of the most likable male leads in Hollywood (Zac Efron and Adam Devine). This film is another that is loosely based on a true story, and it works out only slightly better than Masterminds. Overall, anything that our four leads do is entertaining (remember, I’m biased here) but it is actually the people around them that bring the picture down. This is mostly due to nearly every line of dialogue in the movie being improvised, and our leads are obviously very gifted in this field, especially Plaza and Devine. However, the film does fall into the same trap that R-rated comedies do and decides to go for shock value instead of actual...you know...jokes. This film is hard to recommend, but if you’re down for a completely unbalanced comedy with likable leads, this is the one for you.

52. The Jungle Book (2016)

CONTROVERSY ALERT! Everyone and their brother loved the new live-action The Jungle Book, and for the life of me I can’t see why. The 1967 animated feature is one of my favorite Disney films ever, so when I heard that they were making a live-action remake I instantly hoped that it would never come to fruition. I honestly don’t have a problem with remakes in general as long as they add something to their source material, but unfortunately, The Jungle Book feels like a retread right up until the last 15 minutes. These last 15 minutes are great however, and even the whole film up to that point is objectively good, but if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times; this film does not need to exist. Except for hearing Christopher Walken sing “I Wanna Be Like You”. That was pretty great.

51. Finding Dory

DOUBLE CONTROVERSY ALERT! Not to sound like a broken record or anything, but this movie does not need to exist. Even though it’s not a remake of Finding Nemo, it might as well have been. All of the story beats from the first film appear here again, but somehow worse. I really wanted to love this film, but something about making Dory the main character of your film just doesn’t work. She works in small doses of comedic relief, but her character alone just can’t carry a whole picture. It would be like Disney making an Olaf movie. Wait...I had better be careful before I give them any ideas. After the spectacle that was Inside Out, it’s hard to go back to a Pixar that feels just as lost and directionless Dory. Stop looking behind you Pixar and just keep swimming...

That’s all the time I have for today, but be sure to come back tomorrow when I talk about a late horror sequel, a late comedy reboot, and a late western remake...why is everybody so late?

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 11 Pt. 1

Well, we're back after last week's suffering. Stream of consciousness ahead!

First off I find this a clever way to hide the hair! Dynamic posing! The poor unsuspecting fools who haven't read volume 10 would look at this and have no idea why we're sad.

Live Zazie reaction:

Augh, Livio driving the car... Vash asleep in the back... this does something to me.

He's so cute. He's not suffering or anything look at him.

Both Brad and Livio reaming him out for being too trusting that's so funny to me

To be quite honest, I feel like Livio was very much a victim in all this... that doesn't make him blameless in the situation but it was very much Chapel who grievously injured Wolfwood enough that he chose to take the double vials, and it was him who manipulated Razlo to be dependent on him and Livio to think serving was his only purpose. That said, there's something very heartwarming about Brad being so upset over Wolfwood's death considering his usual untrusting nature and the fact that he really didn't know him that well.

Livio apologizes for his body stopping the bleeding so soon after getting punched. Buddy. No. 😂😭

I feel so bad for the Plants in all this. However, much as it sucks for humanity, I'm very glad to know they can exert enough influence in order to resist killing their sisters and brother and are able to express their free will in some way... could they have refused commands before this point then? If so, that begs the question of why they didn't.

Someone arriving from space???

Oh, so the Plants feel an affinity with Knives. Is that because they agree with him and his methods? Is it because he's absorbed so many of their sisters already? Do they feel his pain and loneliness? I'm so curious.

Meryl!!! I missed yoouuuuu (and she immediately sticks out her tongue and flips a double bird at authority. love her.)

I love this... such a sweet and quiet moment with these two amidst the chaos. Milly putting her perceptiveness to good use to try and support Meryl as best she can. It makes me wonder about that 7-8 month gap and how these two survived not just what is basically the apocalypse, but also the struggle of Meryl's trauma from having Vash's memories dumped on her. I bet Milly was pretty instrumental during that period.

"It's too bad it will never be the same again." IN COMES VASH THE STAMPEDE SWINGING IN ON A LADDER

AUGHHHHHHH. This is so sweet aaaaaaa. Oh my god I just realized this is the first time they've actually seen each other since that town chased Vash out and Meryl had a breakdown. Where he thought she was scared of him. But she wasn't!!! He started to realize it after Marlon, but now he sees it!!! They are. so precious to me... :')

The Earth fleet is close!!! ...that's kind of bad actually.

Luida: "What happened to your hair?" Vash, very loudly: "ANYWAYS TIME FOR THE LAST STAND HUH?"

Oh Milly... I'm intrigued by the way she just plays along with it... she really is a lot like Vash. I wonder why Brad even did that though. I kind of feel like it was to keep people from acting aggressively towards Livio, as saying he died would lead to questions that would probably reveal Livio was at the center of it. Not for Livio's sake of course (I don't think Brad really cares about him) but Vash trusts him, Wolfwood sacrificed himself for him, and they really can't afford infighting at this point. ...never mind that Milly wouldn't have reacted that way anyways.

Ok lol I'd just been thinking "what happened to Zazie's arm and then..

hdjfhbvdjfvh

Oh, the coins are back. Interesting. Legato faceoff soon?

The hurt is palpable with poor Livio here...

Oh! I was right about Brad's reasoning! Cool! Also I think that's the friendliest we've ever seen Brad-

HJDHBJDHCBS???

BRANDON I'VE SAID IT BEFORE BUT EVERY INTERACTION YOU RISE FURTHER UP MY LIST OF FAVOURITE SIDE CHARACTERS

"Ya need to learn to let people help ya out" <-YES.

And of course Vash deflecting by playing up and overdramatizing what is probably a genuine reaction... I really think he knows this already but he's walled himself off so long. He appreciates everyone, he really does, but... them getting hurt is always going to be far worse than them being disappointed in him or himself getting hurt. It's not just because he cares about them... it's also just as much because he cares very little for himself. I also think he just... can't, right now. "Don't tell me something like that now" <- yeah because he's a gaping wound at this point. All he's done is put a stopper on his fresh grief, and he cannot afford to open it else he'll probably shatter and he can't right now.

??? Did Legato just kill Zazie? (Or I guess Zazie's body...) Also, he can walk again??? Huh???

Wow Zazie just took out Elendira and Knives... that's impressive actually.

AND THEY HAD A WORM IN THEIR VAGINA???

Oof, I don't actually want that to happen to Knives... that's pretty horrifying.

Ok. Ok Legato. I will readily admit you are one of the coolest people in this manga. That's incredibly badass. The amount of mental coordination he'd need to puppet himself around is incredible. And the reveal that he is literally puppeteering is fascinating. GIVE ME THE FORBIDDEN LEGATO LORE

So Vash is... making bullets with his powers? Ok... interesting. Wonder what they do? ...also he's using more of his powers. Hm. :/

Whjdfhsdfhb Livio jumpscare

Look at my dorky little guy

I'm so happy for him and his new haircut/outlook. (I bet Vash would know a little something about that huh? *cough cough* Eriks)

??????????? Hi Zazie. This was random...?

Oh, so this is Chronica! She's introduced pretty late in the manga. She's also an Independent it seems! And much more knowledgeable than either Vash or Knives. There's an entire generation of Independents from Earth! They have implanted neural blockers to prevent fusing??? Implications that fusing like what Knives is doing has happened before??? Hello??? Need to chew on this.

Vash WHAT are you doing freaking out like that hdfjhbsdfvh. Livio trying to calm him down like :|

Hjhsbjdfhbvs now they're all screaming at the bug... which. which is drawn like this.

...I wonder if Nightow-sensei was also upset by volume 10 and the rampant comedy right now is him coping...

Hjhdbfjhbfv they're so stupid

"...i'm gonna touch it" energy. HHDBSHCBHJBEJ VASH NO

...you know I do think there is something to be said about Vash acting like the irresponsible and foolish brother to... Wolfwood's brother. There's just. Yeah.

I love them both so much they are so stupid

Vash calling Elendira a bitch is so funny to me, especially because before the Ark he didn't seem to really know her at all. How much do you want to bet she dropped by just to annoy and vaguely threaten Vash and Legato while they were locked in that 7 month stalemate. Vash hears her walking into the room and is just like "GDI NOT AGAIN LEAVE ME ALONE".

Livio beloved... finally he's found purpose for himself... (please be careful against Elendira... I love you.......)

"Sometimes it's not easy to explain the power of someone's presence. Especially when it's someone so greatly and deeply connected to you. Some people can't even say it. But this helped Vash the Stampede realize... that he was feeling the same thing in his heart." <-he continues to haunt the narrative... but gosh what a thing to communicate to the reader here. what a thing, to realize how much you cared too late... but what a thing, also, to realize you had at all :') they both miss him so much… but he’s also their resolve

FINALLY we get to know how the Plants feel about all this!!! I feels so bad for them man. I feel they're similar to Vash in that they don't want anyone hurt really... but they're not able to fight their own fight. Pretty heartbreaking stuff.

Meryl... :'(

YES MILLY. CALL HIM OUT! Meryl is worried. Let her be worried.

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO CUTE!!! He's going to come back it means he's going to come back it means don't worry I'll find you again I'll come and find you this time I ahsjdcbhasjdvhbsjfhbv Vash you can be so sweet when you are not actively avoiding any and all emotional situations with people who care about you!!!

Chronica's going to turn off her limiter :O

Elendira: Hi :) *stabs you*

"I don't like nice men. They die so easily. He was like that too." <- Oh you did not just go there.

Elendira I think just has no faith in people. She looks actually a bit upset when she says "they die so easily" about "nice men". Then there's the "no matter what Vash the Stampede does, there will always be humans who ruin it." She's decided that while she wants Knives to succeed... if he doesn't, she'll just end the world regardless. Hm. Elendira you are so interesting to me.

Ohh... protecting the kids... Livio... :')

It's JASMINE???

YES! Livio has found his resolve! The cloak from Jasmine, the hat from the little kid! You can do it buddy!