#i feel so free here why don't i post on here more often?? mystery
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johnnyjoestar · 5 months ago
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i love my boyfriend i miss my boyfriend i want to go back to england
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thatfreshi · 1 year ago
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We Never Cease Being Lucky (Astarion x Reader)
TW - anxiety attack
Recommended Song: Renee - Sales
You absolutely adore birthdays. Although, you haven't celebrated yours since you met Astarion on that godforsaken beach. You remember asking when his is, as you do with everyone. He trailed off, distant.
"I... I don't quite remember."
You never asked about it again, but that sadness kept you in a chokehold. How could you go so long without celebrating your birthday? It's not fair, to not be able to celebrate life, to have that ripped away from you.
Once you end your adventures, you buy a house together, free from all the past pains, dancing on hardwood floors far from anything that ever hurt you. You still live in Baldur's Gate though, and you realize something one day while lying in bed.
"Aster, you were born here, right?"
"Of course, never left, well until I was taken."
You smirk, a little plan unfolding in your mind.
"I know what we're going to do this evening."
It's not often you have a suspicious smile across your face. He's curious.
"Well my love, please do tell."
"We're going to break into the courthouse!"
He laughs, sitting up to stretch, letting go of the slumber.
"Adorable. As far as I recall, we're done with our silly little adventures."
You just stare at him, and he realizes you're serious.
"Wait, why do you want to break into the courthouse?"
"It's a secret!"
"I feel as though it's hardly fair to ask for my assistance if you're not even going to tell me why."
"Well, it's for you. You'll see."
"Alright then, I revoke my complaints. Breaking into the courthouse, sounds great."
He used to be a lot more secretive about it, but he loves when you do things on his behalf. You don't often get such an opportunity, but tonight, tonight you finally get to give him something he's been missing for so long. Of course, as long as everything goes to plan. You tell him to grab a few lockpicks, and the two of you head out into the darkness.
"Sooooo, you can't even give me the slightest hint as to what you're up to?"
"Nope, but at least now you know it involves your very own specialty: sneaky criminal activity."
"Now, I think I have quite a few other far more interesting specialties, but I guess I'm just a glorified key to you."
He scoffs.
"No, you're just really good at getting into places quietly, and I think if I did this by myself I'd probably get arrested, and I definitely don't need you bailing me out considering you'd hold it over my head forever."
"Well you're right about that."
You give him a playful shove, and he trips on a loose cobblestone.
"Okay, rude. Maybe I'll turn you in anyways, say you were trying to involve me in some illegal heist against my will."
"But if you do that, you don't get your surprise!"
"Ugh, fine. I'll play along."
You shush him as you get closer to your target. There's a sleeping guard posted outside, one that the two of you successfully sneak past, finding a side entrance.
"Do you have any idea where this door leads?"
"Nope."
You smile at him, and he rolls his eyes.
"You're asking me to open a lock and you have no idea what's behind it? You clearly are not as masterful of a thief as you used to be."
He starts to pick away at the lock anyways.
"Well, I have been in retirement for a little bit."
At the end of your sentence, you hear that final click, and he opens the door. When the two of you get inside, it's pitch black, all the candles and oil lamps burnt out.
"Do you see any signs that say Records?"
"No, what would I possibly want with the city's records?"
"You'll see! Gods, just let me do something nice."
"It seems like I'm doing most of the work so far..."
"It's fine. Once we find the records room I can do the rest. You're just helping."
He can't resist that grin of yours, clearly excited by your mysterious plans. Astarion gives in, sighing as if he's bothered, but the two of you continue to look for the records room. Eventually, you turn a corner to yet another locked door. You bat your eyes at him, and he goes to work once again.
"You owe me after this."
"Please my love, I'm telling you you're gonna be so excited!"
"If you insist my dear."
He gets the second door unlocked, ushering you inside. He casts fire, lighting up a nearby candelabra. You're met with bookshelves stacked high with pieces of paper loosely put together, turning more golden and tattered as you look to your left.
"This is it!"
You immediately start to look at the dates on the records, finding the range of about two centuries ago. Without a care for the organization, you quickly flip through years and years of records, looking for anything that could be a birth record.
"Darling, I thought the point was to sneak in here, not throw papers all over the floor and have someone know we were here."
You ignore him, becoming a little desperate to find what you're looking for. The text is fading on some of these documents, making it hard to know they're not his. He crouches down on the floor beside you, realizing you're stressing out about this unknown objective.
"Hey, hey, Tav. What's wrong?"
You start to tear up a little, thinking this would be so simple, that this stuff wouldn't be so carelessly stacked on shelves.
"I can't- I can't find it."
You throw the stack of papers on the floor, wiping a tear off your cheek.
"I know you're trying to do something nice for me my sweet, but maybe if you told me what you're looking for, I could help you."
You sniffle, trying not to go into a full sob.
"I- I wanted to-"
You choke up, almost unable to speak. He takes your hands in his.
"Breathe Tav, breathe. In, and out."
You listen to him, trying your best to just inhale and exhale. You didn't think this attempt was going to lead to an anxiety attack, but luckily he's dealt with plenty himself. Your breath steadies as you tightly grab his hands.
"Now, what are you looking for?"
"I... I was trying to see if I could find your birth certificate. You know, since we don't know when your birthday is and all, I thought it might be nice to know. I feel so bad, it just passes every year and you're none the wiser."
He's dumbfounded, shock in his eyes, almost a little confused. You were having an anxiety attack just now because you weren't going to find when his birthday is?
"Darling, I... that's very sweet, but nothing worth this much stress. I haven't even thought about it in years."
"Yeah, but I just really love birthdays, and I just wanted a day where we could celebrate you, you know?"
"I appreciate that sentiment, truly, but if we can't find it, it's okay. You tried, and that's enough. Besides, what's the point in keeping something almost three centuries old at this point?"
"I don't know, I thought that was their job, to keep old shit."
You look at the scattered papers, and he follows your gaze. Something catches his eye, a document sitting to your left.
"Wait, look at that one."
You turn, picking up the piece of paper and holding it in the light of the flame.
"Holy shit."
He sits himself on your shoulder, looking at the writing with you.
"Gods, I really am that old."
You smile, another small tear falling.
"Aster, look. It's tomorrow."
He continues to read, eyes crossing the date again.
"We never cease being lucky, do we?"
"No, I guess we don't."
You turn to kiss his cheek, and then roll up the paper, putting it in your bag.
"Wait, you can't just take that!"
"Why not? Means more to us than them."
You simply shrug and he shakes his head, almost in disappointment. You clearly had no intention of making it seem like you weren't here. He doesn't stop you though, as he can't deny he'd like to keep his birth certificate as well.
"Thank you my dear, for always thinking of me."
"There's nothing more important I could think of."
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kisilinramblings · 1 year ago
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After the Wish - Adrien's side
Hi, everyone! Are you ready for some scene analysis? Like the title says, this post will focus on Adrien's scenes following the Wish.
Before I start though, I am very well aware the ending bring a lot of very passionnated and very opinated minds. This is why I am asking to please keep an open mind and keep things civil. I won't tolerate any bashing or rude comments. Both on this post and in my inbox. Keep in mind this analysis in my own interpretation of the shots and scenes based on my cinematographic knowledge as well as my viewing experience and memory of the 5 seasons of Miraculous.
I am sharing this analysis because I love the show and because analysing helps me better understand what I see.
Also, this is a leak free analysis. I only analyze and make conclusions based on what it is shown to us on-screen.
So, if you are ok with staying respectful and open to see the episode through my lens, you are more than welcome to continue reading.
Without further ado, let's go!
After the whole universe was engulfed by the light of Gabriel's Wish, the white screen fade to a close up of Adrien sleeping. Marinette's head then block the shot temporarily before Adrien awaken, smiling. We can guess she kissed him.
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This shot personally reminds me of the fairy tales in which the knight kisses the princess to awake her from her curse. And it isn't coincidental if the very first image we see after Gabriel made the Wish is Adrien. There is meaning in that. In fact, I want to point out the shot choice itself because I find it unusual.
We are facing a tight close up facing directly Adrien while he is sleeping and then awakes. Normally, we are more used to a medium shot which allow to see the character is lying down and frame both characters. The camera is also normally placed on the side and not directly facing one particular character. Again in order to see both actors at the same time. Think of Disney Snow White or Sleeping Beauty for example.
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And even in more modern ones.
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You know which other character in the show who had their eyes closed, often shown in a frontal angle and who we were anticipating to wake up? Émilie.
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Except this isn't Émilie who awakes, but Adrien.
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Not only this tight close up gives a lot of importance and relevance to him, but Adrien is so in our face that it feels like nothing around him mattered, not even the kiss Adrien received. What matters is Adrien. Solely him. And Adrien is smiling.
Then the camera starts to expand little to little to unveil Adrien's "new world". In cinema, we are quite used to start a scene is with help of wide shot before cuting to closer shots. Here, it is the other way around. Which confers a sense of mystery to the scene.
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The first thing Adrien sees is Marinette, the girl he is in love with, at his side, bathed by the summer sunlight. The light choice hints we got a time ellipse between this moment and the previous scene.
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As Adrien rises up we see their friends having fun in what we guess is the Agreste Mansion Garden.
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The artists are painting a mural inspired by Delacroix's famous painting Liberty Leading the People where the characters are remplaced by La Résistance members and led by Ms Bustier depicted as Liberty herself. She is leading the youth to freedom, to a better future.
The rest of the class and their allies are playing in the pool or chilling together.
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This series of shots show us the Agreste Mansion garden flourishing with life. In the background, the flowers are all in full bloom, the plants cover most of the gray stones of the mansion, garnishing those with vibrant green tones. On-screen people laughing and having fun.
Hawkmoth (Party Crasher) : I don't feel any negative emotions. There's only... Joy? What is going on in my house?!
This series of shots shows how we are at the opposite at how life used to be for Adrien. His friends can come over and party with him. We see members of both his family and found family. Adrien isn't trapped inside his home-prison anymore. He isn't isolated anymore. He is surrounded by people who love and care about him. And Gabriel is absent from the picture.
Like Bug Noire said earlier during this episode, Adrien already had all of that before the Wish. Adrien went to school and made friends on his own. He wanted to have a birthday party at his home (Bubbler). He wanted to hang and have fun with his friends on multiple occasions. But Gabriel was always the biggest obstacle for Adrien to have those moments, those memories.
It is Gabriel who kept his son isolated. Because Gabriel was living in the past and was unable to move on with life while Adrien decided he wanted more in life than being stuck inside a cocoon. And at the end of Revolution, Adrien knew what he wanted :
Adrien : Father, please, I know what I want. Let me live my life here in Paris with Marinette and my friends. Gabriel : You must go through with this like an Agreste. That's what your mother would have wanted. Adrien : No, I'm sure that Mom would have just wanted me to be happy.
And, in the end, Adrien's wish is fulfilled.
One last sidenote before I continue concerns that one shot.
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Despite not being in the center of the shot, Nathalie seems to be doing better than the last time we saw her. She has a least more colors and has gained her red streak of hair back. Her pose however seems... limited. Maybe her body is still weak from the illness afflicting her. Maybe it is due to budget constraint. Or maybe it is both. And remember what Bug Noire said to Gabriel at the end of their fight : she estimated Nathalie had only a few hours left. And we are weeks from now. Either Bug Noire was wrong in her prognostic or Nathalie survived.
Émilie : Adrien will be well surrounded. He'll have you Nathalie, and he'll have his father, if Gabriel agrees to give up on his madness... and on me. Adrien will have all the love he needs to be happy.
Anyway, the group pauses their activities to watch a new show called "Monde Nouveau" (litteraly "New World") and hosted by Alec.
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Alec as we know, has changed to become an icon about being yourself and making your dream come true. And him being the host of that new show instead of a character like Nadja, means that we are looking at an happy and positive vision of things.
He interviews Caline Bustier, now both Mayor of Paris and mother of a girl named Harmonie. She shares her program for a better future to us, the audience.
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As she talks about her eco-rules, we see sketches supporting her vision. At the bottom right, we recognize the Tsurugi company logo, but next to it there is a new one we haven't seen before.
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Next, we see an unveiling of the statue of Gabriel Agreste, which confirms that Gabriel has died. His statue is made of recycled Alliances put out of commission after Monarch's last attack.
Gabriel's statue is his entire height. Gabriel was already a tall character when he was living and his statue is even taller than him. His chin is up, proud. It is almost like he is superior, looking up like that. The camera slight low angle also contributes to this impression I have. Also, he holds a pencil like the designer he is.
Tomoe : Beyond the visionary entrepreneur and the genius creator, it's the hero we celebrate today.
This is how the Parisians in-universe see him. They are unaware of Gabriel's secret identity. They are unaware of the truth. They only know of the image the professional him gave away and they believed he died in an attempt to stop Monarch.
I want to point out the fact Gabriel's statue is made of Alliances. The very tool he uses to try and defeat Ladybug and Chat Noir. He turned Adrien and Kagami's image into avatar for this product against their will to sell both the Alliances and an illusion. He deformed the truth with their avatars by presenting them as a couple (Revelation), or make deepfakes out of them (Representation and Conformation). Now, Gabriel's statue, his image, is made of the very same tool he used. And the Alliances, despite being put out of commission, still contribute to blur the line of what is truth and what is false in regards of his character to the masses.
With this statue made of Alliances, the parisians are honoring the "perfect" and "pure" image they have of Gabriel. I cannot help but think that this huge statue is bound to create great shadows. And even if the real Gabriel is gone, something of him remains and will continue to have an impact.
Tomoe then talks about continuing Gabriel's legacy. To us, the audience, those words have an ominous double meaning as Tomoe was Gabriel's ally until the end and helped him in many of his schemes. And she confirms she will continue that work.
Caline then gets to talk about her new school model which pleases very much everybody as they cheer all together. It will allows Marinette, Adrien and all their friends to remain together while allowing them to explore and grow in the field that please them respectfully.
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Then we cut the the sun setting as the cheers are fading away. It is the end of the day and everyone has gone home.
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Adrien is now alone in the garden where his mother's statue used to be. White butterflies are flying around. Marinette joins him as he is fidgeting with his parents' twin ring.
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Marinette : You are not wearing it? Adrien : When Ladybug gave it to me, she told me how my father helped her defeat Monarch. At the risk of his life.
With this, we know that Ladybug granted Gabriel's dying wish.
Gabriel : Marinette. Make sure that Adrien never knows about the villain that I was, but instead, that he remembers the times I tried to be a good father.
Was it Marinette's place to accept that burden to cover the truth? To acquiesce to her archenemy's demand? Of course not, but that is how kind she is and how flawed she can be. For Adrien's happiness, Maribug is willing to do so. We, as the audience, know it can only last so long the secret is sealed. And no one among Gabriel, Marinette, Nathalie, Félix, Kagami nor Plagg is aware the secret was already breached outside the family circle.
But for the time being, everyone who knows will keep the fact that Gabriel was Monarch a secret.
But even without the truth, Adrien is conflicted about his feelings towards his father. We see that as Adrien answers Marinette's question, he leans a bit towards her, but there is no contact. His eyes are fixated on the ring. Adrien is distant and inside a bubble of doubt about himself. There is a weight, a legacy, he associates with that family ring that he is not sure if he can bear.
Adrien : I don't know if I'll ever manage to be like him.
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It is only when Marinette puts her hands on his, covering the ring and the expectations that come with it, that Adrien finally look at her, brought back to here and now. Marinette reassures Adrien he doesn't need to be like his father. Adrien can just be himself, without having to live up to any expectations placed upon him.
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Marinette then proceeds in slips the ring on his finger. Adrien is free and in control of who he wants to be, of what he wants to do, no matter his background. The past doesn't matter anymore. He can just focus on what is ahead of him.
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In this short shot reverse shot, we see a bit of Marinette's head in Adrien's shot, however in Marinette's reverse shot, she is framed alone.
This bit has of a shift in the discussion. Marinette made contact with Adrien, entering his "bubble". She has established a connection in their discussion. Her words are reaching him and moving him.
Adrien : You always find the right words, Marinette. When I'm with you, I feel so... free!
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And now they are in synch. Both say "I love you" to the other at the same time, which make them laugh. And Adrien wraps Marinette's hand as if he never wants to let her go. As if he will protect and cherish her with all his might. She makes him that happy.
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As the white butterflies illustrate, there is no negative emotions around. Only pure hapiness. Only love. And they are kissing where Émilie's statue used to be.
Émilie's message in Collusion : Adrien shouldn't have to suffer the consequences of our mistakes. Our little prince has the right to create his own vision of happiness.
In other words, Monarch did not win. Émilie won. Gabriel has used the Wish, yes, but his wish was different than the one he wanted to make for 5 seasons. And it is not unusual for Gabriel to do everything in his power to grant any of Émilie's wishes. And her final wishes were : for Gabriel to let go of his madness, to not bring her back, and for Adrien to be happy.
And the ghost of Émilie can now rest in peace and stop haunting these walls. And Adrien can fully love Marinette the way he wants without any obstacle in the way anymore.
And all points to the Power of Love has ultimately won. Even the most important characters in those scene all have a link related to love.
Adrien was created by love. Ms Bustier promotes love as one of her teachings and she was akumatized twice out of that very emotion (spread love, protect the children's future). And she got elected as Mayor. Alec who interviews Ms Bustier is also another character who is now full of love and care. And Marinette fought for love. Even the Agreste Mansion Garden is associated to love. Gabriel and Émilie got a scene there during Evolution. Marinette and Adrien got a romantic date there as well. Heck, this is even where Nathalie shares she was ready to help Gabriel out of love.
Love may falter or even fades away for a time, but right now, in Adrien's scenes, love is fully blooming.
Back to the scene, as Marinette and Adrien kiss, the camera zoom out at the shot crossfades, giving the impression their kiss is everlasting. And ultimately fades to white...
... before the white suddenly cut to Nadja Chamack's news report where she interviews Professor Du Bocquale about the international event that had happened.
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Using both the news reporter and the scientific, we transitioned to Marinette's Guardian of the Miraculous pov. The sentimentality and dream life is over, it is time to get back to the facts and reality. The Happy Ever After is not quite accomplish yet.
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And that will be developped in second eventual part because I am reaching the limit of images allowed in one single Tumblr post ^^;
Anyway, thank you for reading this far and stay tuned!
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literallymomoayase · 2 months ago
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HI-HO !
Here it is! I'm finally free from exams, so I can write! The awaited info-dump about my delicious in dungeon OC. This includes general information, and perchance— hints of her lore, then character dynamics and what she thinks of the said characters, so it'll be very..very long.
Helena's open to interactions with other ocs or [official characters & ocs] roleplay accounts, and I plan to make a blog where I'll roleplay as her and you can ask anything or just talk to her.
P.S : I'll be treating her as if she's a canonical character in the show, and took the prompt in the wiki for the gen info and status.
Please don't mind to any grammatical errors I've made, English isn't my first language. ^^;
Info-dump is in the cut, I hope you'll check it out!
➤ [ GENERAL INFORMATION ]
NAME : HELENA
KATAKANA NAME : ヘレナ [feel free to correct me if i'm wrong!]
SPECIES : DEER/BEAST-KIN [she uniquely only has her hinds, though..like a faun, but with deer-looks.]
TALL MAN [BEAST-MAN] [TEMPORARY]
[She swapped races with Izutsumi!]
GENDER : FEMALE
AGE : 25 [I cannot for the life of me figure her estimate age in human years, but do know that she's an adult.] [I might make her older]
BORN : NOVEMBER 5TH 489
BIRTHPLACE : SOUTHEAST ARCHIPELAGO
· ·───── ·𖥸· ─────· ·
HEIGHT : 5'2
There's some implications she may like all genders, as she said she doesn't mind who or what her soulmate is, as long as they're both happy and well.
➤ [ STATUS ]
STATUS : ALIVE
AFFILIATION : KABRU'S PARTY [TEMPORARY]
LAIOS' PARTY
OCCUPATIONS : ADVENTURER
ARTIFICER
RELATIVES : UNNAMED TWIN BROTHER
UNNAMED FATHER [WHO'S OFTEN REFERRED TO AS A FRENZIED MAN]
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UNNAMED MOTHER [WHO'S OFTEN REFERRED TO AS THE ONCE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN][DECEASED]
At the very start of things, not much is said about her nor her past from her own mouth or other people's. All the others knew is that she's just a young cervitaur who's an undeniably skillful craftswoman. It was a mystery why she straight up disappeared at the beginning, implying she got separated from the others very far or purposely avoided them- to assumably get some fresh air and clear her mind from the sight of her close friend getting eaten by the dragon. It's clear that she doesn't like opening up about her past, even acting like she has memory loss and dumb.
From time to time, the party hears heavy boot footsteps echo throughout the dungeon halls, and they don't know what it is..but Helena has a nagging feeling it's something..no, someone bad. Someone she doesn't want to see, someone she's been trying to escape for too long.
[I won't be saying much, as how heavy, dark and violent it all really is It'll be posted in a separate post, if i have time]
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" Weird, it makes him oddly handsome. "
Once Laios had given Helena the invitation into the team, in which she eagerly accepts..almost like she's running away from something; she had took notice of him frequently glancing at her, but didn't think too much of it and shrugging it off. However, after reuniting with the rest and seeing his weird obsession with monsters with her own two eye-balls, a slow realization dawned onto her that the reason why Laios had stared is because she's a demi-human. A human mixed with a deer. The amount of times he's tried to reach out to her, and her thinking it was him trying to swat a fly or something, was to try and touch her deer-ears. She didn't know how to feel, hell- what to feel, even. Fondness? Gods, she hoped not. Disgust? That's harsh. For the rest of the night, she just stared at Laios like he's a three-headed monster..but he'd probably like that.
Although the more they spent time together, Helena started to like hearing about his rambles [yapping] about monsters and propely listened. It always seemed like she's the one who's 'interested' enough to 'listen' before anyway.
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" I like her alot! Sometimes, it's like we're the only sane ones in this party..Chilchuck too, of course. "
Upon their 'first' meeting, they silently stole glances to one another. Finally, breaking the silence, Helena had greeted her and it felt like things and pieces just clicked at the right places. It was near to damn beautiful, I say!
They exchanged a few more words after, and before they knew it, they end up closer than before. Marcille had expressed her admiration for Helena being a craftswoman, and she'd done the same for the elf being a mage.
..but sometimes, Marcille can't help but wish Helena would recognize her and see the bright look in her face like the way things were before.
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" Sweet-faced, but with a sharp tongue. That's Chil for you! He's very cute though, I like him! "
Upon their first meeting, Helena's very own first thoughts about him was..'He's short- I hope he can't read my mind.'
There were a few times, maybe once or twice [more than that, according to the half-foot], where he caught her staring and her shoulders tensing as they made eye contact, breaking it as quick as she could and looked away. Slowly, despite their contrasting differences in personalities, they got closer and had gained respect for one another. Chilchuck even helped her out of a trap, and Helena helped fix his tools.
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" So talented! I'm glad he lets me help out when he's cooking. "
Upon their very first meeting, Helena seemed to be pleased that they had a new member in the party. But her enthused output and pleasantry turned to horror-struck as she saw he's cooking monsters! Helena's aware that desperate times times call for desperate measures, but she didn't think they'd stoop this low!
However, her features couldn't help but soften and turn to curious, seeing as Senshi wasn't being passionately creepy about monsters, unlike a certain tall-man, but was more passionate about cooking and providing food on the table. As more time went on, Helena couldn't help but grow nearly vulnerable seeing this dwarf feed them and eventually offered to help him cook. Senshi was hesitant, but she smiled reassuringly, saying that she doesn't mind..and is a little bored waiting around with the rest.
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[ I'M SO SORRY I HAD NO MORE MOTIVATION TO DRAW THEM ]
➤ FALIN
Helena thought she was pretty. Tall enough to look at her features properly, she envies Toshiro juuust a little bit for being romantically intwined with her.
Regardless, Helena can't help but admire Falin, truly. She finds it nice that the tall-man's so talented in magic, and Falin admires her too. For not only making such craftmenship with her very own hands, but for Helena's..cuteness.
➤ TOSHIRO / SHURO
Helena doesn't know what to think of him. She wishes he knew she understood him more than she shows of, and respects his decision the very same. She wishes him well, and for him to start taking better care of himself, reminding him that he shouldn't neglect himself so recklessly.
➤ IZUTSUMI
HELENA TREATS HER LIKE A LITTLE SISTER SHE NEVER HAD!
It annoys Izutsumi to bits, and Helena had received her own fair share of cat scratches from her, but she's resilient.
Near to begrudging, however, Izutsumi respects and somewhat admires Helena's strength, or what she's shown, anyway. Unfortunately for her, the cervitaur won't stop seeing her as a little sister soon.
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Thank you so much for reading <3 ! I'll be uploading more information soon, and especially her dynamic with Kabru, etc.
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do-androids-dream-ao3acc · 12 days ago
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Power Metal Favorites
As @starstruckbyacomet and I were talking rock and metal lately, I suggested starting with power metal to get a foot into the metal genre if you're genuinely interested. So, here's my favorites to start from!
Of course we're gonna begin with Blind Guardian. I love Hansi, what can I say. And I think this video gives a good glimpse into their different styles - so here is, once again, the legendary Wacken video.
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Now to my first metal love, Helloween. They had their ups and downs and various singers over the years, and while they're very melodic now, they used to be quite raw in their beginning. As for their themes, well.... they changed and changed ... here's one of their "easier" songs, I'd say:
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Now we're digging into history. War has always been a popular theme in power metal, and Sabaton (along with Civil War, a band formed from former members of Sabaton) are probably the masters of that theme. There's so many Sabaton songs I would love to recommend, but since I'm still trying to do a soft introduction, I will give you 1916. Because it has a great video, yes, but also because it's one of the absolute greatest cover versions of all time. I stand by that.
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I think what we may conclude so far is that power metal not only has catchy tunes, it has awesome singers. And that's why we can't miss Kamelot in this list. If you like this, I strongly recommend stalking @lightineventide for more 😂
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So far this all seems harmless, right? What's with the themes? Well. Do you like vampires and werewolves? Twisted clerical symbols? Powerwolf is your band. (And they are SO much fun!)
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And since I couldn't stop talking about the Visions of Atlantis concert I went to, yeah, of course we can't dismiss pirate metal. I'm not even talking Alestorm and stuff.
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Next is Avantasia, which is a project of Tobias Sammet gathering musicians for songs and concept albums. And frankly its the closest I could get to the "mystery" theme you said you liked ;)
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Rhapsody of Fire is another of those fantasy themed bands, but they're the... well, dramatic kind. It's bordering on cheesy often, frankly, but their singer? Ah my god I love him.
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Now, I feel that those were the most obvious (at least for people into power metal). There are so many more to check out, even the ones I don't like (Dragonforce, Grave Digger) or find rather mediocre (Hammerfall). Let me just say Gloryhammer (especially the newer songs with Sozos Michael), Stratovarius, Running Wild, Rage, Pentakill, Gamma Ray, Edguy, Sonata Arctica, Brothers of Metal, Pyramaze, Virgin Steele... and those are really only a few and the more known once, in my opinion.
Feel free to add lesser known bands to this post, folks!
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crplpunkklavier · 2 years ago
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thoughts on vongole, and kristoph as a dog owner
DISCLAIMER: i am not a professional in dog care nor training. i have had and trained a dog for many years now, but he is not a retriever. i've studied up on other breeds out of curiosity (and due diligence tbh). if anything i say here is factually wrong and you know more, feel free to reach out!
Kristoph: Ah, yes, she's surprisingly delicate, you know. Requires careful tending. But, she is my "best friend", as they say. Phoenix: "Best"...? Come on, now I'm starting to feel bad for you. Kristoph: Oh? Of course, she's known to bite if handled roughly. Phoenix: Y-Your rose bites? Kristoph: ...... I was speaking of the photo next to the rose. My retriever, Vongole. Cute, but feisty.
this is all we ever learn about vongole. am i going crazy about it? maybe. (also, after this line, phoenix thinks to himself, "every dog has its thorn..." as if that means literally anything. i love him so)
vongole is one of my favorite mysteries about kristoph. she is not at all relevant in aa4, and if she was only ever going to be in this tiny bit of flavor text (so easily missable too!) why put her in at all? was she going to play a bigger role in a later game that shu takumi never got to bless us with? i guess it's possible. that would lift vongole on the same level as those pesky black psyche locks. but either way, we have her here, and that means i get to overanalyze her :)
or more accurately, i get to overanalyze kristoph gavin on the basis that he has a dog who
is a retriever
is "surprisingly delicate"
requires careful tending
is his best friend, as they say
bites if handled roughly
hey. what the fuck does any of that mean, kris?
lets start with the breed. i've mentioned in a post before that many of us seem to have collectively decided that vongole is a golden retriever, which seems fitting, since those are famous blondes, just like the other gavins. however, "retriever" doesn't automatically mean golden retriever! there are a few other retriever breeds. you're probably familiar with labrador retrievers, for instance. i have a curly-coated retriever in my neighborhood who, you guessed it, has a charming curly coat, pitch black, and is a trained service dog!
we often see retrievers as service dogs, because they're pretty fit for the job. the name retriever comes from hunting though. while my own dog is more engaged in actually running ahead and killing prey himself (no i don't let him do that.), retrievers have been bred to go and, well, retrieve prey for the hunters. this of course means that you can also teach them to retrieve other stuff for you fairly easily. like meds, socks, blankets -- stuff a service dog would be helpful for.
apart from that, retrievers are also known to be good family dogs, because they're friendly, affectionate, loyal, and quick to trust. they're also very active, and pretty smart! there are minor differences between the various retriever breeds, but this much goes for all of them to some extent.
why in the world does kristoph have a dog?
i... just..... does he seem like a dog person to you?? i just.... i mean, he doesn't seem like a cat person to me either. or a plant person. maybe he doesn't seem like a person to me. i just really stumble over this sometimes, because it seems wild to me to think that kristoph gavin got himself a retriever just because he.... wanted a retriever?
the guy works what's pretty much an office job. his salary shouldn't be very high, as a defense attorney? but, well, he's implied to like high-profile cases, and he had the money to employ an assistant, so i don't think he's poor. he needs time and space for a retriever, though. vongole isn't a little shih tzu who's happy to just hang out on your lap all day. again, REALLY active. this is a dog who wants AT LEAST an hour of outside time a day. kristoph gavin doesn't even look like he's ever seen the sun. but ok.
one frankly hilarious route i've considered is that he wanted a dog for protection. klavier says he's been "living in fear" ever since zak gramarye disappeared on him, and then he panicked enough to straight up beat him to death the minute he saw him again seven years later. he's paranoid, he's spying on everyone involved. i think kristoph really was very scared. so maybe at some point he figured he'd get himself a dog that would protect him from assailants.
i say this is hilarious because..... a retriever is not the dog you want, man. like, yeah, she'll be loyal to you if she likes you. the problem is she is also really quick to like you, or the intruder in your house, or the guy coming to your office to kill you. if kris got a retriever because he wanted a guard dog, that was a fantastic bit of stupidity, and i personally love it for him.
another angle i like, one that makes him a little less stupid and a little more horrifying, is appearances.
But, she is my "best friend", as they say.
this line really does something to my brain. kristoph gavin talks like a law text book at the best of times, so the somewhat awkward wording of it isn't really what's bothering me. it's the fact that he said it at all. it's that very last part. the "as they say." because, yeah, sure, people say that. yeah yeah, man's best friend, we've all seen it.
and it just... seems so very kristoph to latch onto a truism about human beings, to make himself look like one. look at him! he's got a suit, he's got a job. he's totally on speaking terms with his brother. when the bar association voted to disbar phoenix, he was the only one who voted against that (one more thing i'd love to make a big post about one day lol), he has regular dinner with his good friend phoenix wright, he has an assitant, he has a law office. he probably has a car, because it's LA. he has a savings account. that's not, like, canon, but he does. of course he also has a dog. he's just a regular human guy! he likes poetry and the arts. his best friend is a dog, and more than that, a breed which is known for its gentleness, and for how great they are with..... children :)
let's all sit back and let that chill go down our spine for a sec.
kristoph got a retriever to prove something. kristoph got a retriever for the same reason that he made friends with vera misham before he tried to kill her.
remember what his prison cell looks like? with the books, the arm chair, the violin? he keeps up appearances, even after his arrest. of course he'd put up a framed picture of his beloved dog. like any normal human person would.
but did he treat her well?
well...... well.
here's the thing.
i don't think kristoph gavin is an animal abuser. i don't think he treated her badly. but that's a sliding scale, with dogs, and with most pets, isn't it? if i'm never outright mean or violent to my dog, that's great, but if i never give him enrichment, if i never learn to read his body language, if i never give him what he fundamentally needs as a certain animal of a certain breed, i'm still not treating him well. i'm not treating him right, i'm just not overtly torturing him.
back to kristoph. in this vein, i often think about what we hear of his interactions with young vera. one thing that particularly sticks out to me is how drew misham says that kristoph was one of the very few people who ever made her smile.
kristoph clearly has a way with children, to an extent. he knows to get her that stamp -- he actually understands her childish fascination with magic a little too well and gets her a present that she likes so much it thwarts his whole plan. keep in mind that vera was 12 -- when kristoph's younger brother was 12, kristoph was 19 already, old enough to consciously learn things about the 12-year-old in his household. he knows kids, and he gets through to them.
but never fully, does he? klavier figured out something was off about the way his brother came to his office. and even vera, despite smiling at kristoph so earnestly, despite really loving that stamp, despite being only 12, even vera was so horrified by that little twitch of the devil's hand. there was always something uncanny about kristoph.
why am i bringing that up? i'm not saying everyone who's good with children will be good with dogs, or the other way around. but there is common ground. you're dealing with a living thing that's smaller than you, dependent on you, and you're building a relationship that'll take a lot of calmness, understanding, and reassurance. kids often can't express themselves in ways adults would immediately understand, and neither can dogs.
and i think kristoph got about as far with vongole as he did with vera. i think vongole liked him fine. again, retrievers are quick to like people. he was there, he fed her, he probably gave up trying not to let her up on the couch. sure she liked him. but did she listen to him?
before i ever had a dog, my mom used to tell me that she thought the concept of dog training (the german word is Hundeschule, so literally "dog school") was stupid, that she'd had a dog as a kid, and that dog didn't have to know any tricks, it wasn't a circus animal! well, my mom was also bad with every pet we've ever had, and with all three of her kids. so.
look, it's important that your dog listens to you. i'm just saying. no, it doesn't have to know "circus tricks," although depending on the breed, it might have fun learning them! and it definitely just. it needs the basics. your dog needs to understand what "no" means, and your dog should come when called -- i know we're all tired of alpha terminology and it's constantly used wrong, but, genuinely, your dog needs to know that you're the leader of the pack. your dog needs that, it's good for the dog. turns out i was also using it wrong! this reblog explains what i meant to say better than i could. my point was that you have got to give your dog something, some form of structure. for the dog's own cognitive development, for you to work as a union, and last but not least to make sure you don't bring harm to the outside world!
and, yeah, this is absolutely the part where i think kristoph failed. because no, i don't think he was ever violent with her or anything, but i also don't think he would ever have the patience it takes for solid dog training.
why else does he, unprompted, bring up that she is "surprisingly" delicate, and requires "careful" tending? kris, did you not know? why are you surprised by how delicate a literal living thing is? did you accidentally step on her paw and she acted like it's the end of the world? yeah, they do that. did you come home late from the office one night and there was a pile of poop on your overturned laundry basket? hmm. if only something could be done about that.
the "bite if handled roughly" part is the last one i wanna talk about, because that also gave me a lot of trouble.
i mean... dogs bite. they do! mine bites. especially puppies are happy to play-bite, often into hands, and it's important to get that under control while they're young. this also loops us all the way back around to vongole being a retriever. remember, they're bred to carry stuff in their mouths. it is in this dog's dna to use her mouth for stuff.
this means she might be bite-happy in a very specific way. i've actually read multiple times that retriever bites are "soft", because again, they're just supposed to retrieve game when hunting, not kill it themselves. it's already dead, and a dog actually biting into it would make it yucky for humans to eat. retrievers are good at moderating bite strength for that.
but.... it doesn't sound like that's what kristoph is talking about, is it? she's known to bite if handled roughly. that sounds like she really bites. and of course she does. if handled roughly. hey, what the fuck does that mean, handled roughly? who's handling her roughly?
again, this doesn't necessarily scream animal abuse. as @mlmschemes, out of professional experience, has brought up, there are certain things that need to be done during a vet visit that dogs don't always love, especially if they aren't used to it, like nail trims, to state the easiest one. you might have to hold a dog down for that. and if that dog is trained and socialized like ass, yeah, she'll bite if handled roughly.
but, hey, don't worry. she's just feisty. :) cute but feisty, he says.
just like every fucking dog owner i've ever met in the neighborhood who has a half-rabid untrained menace that would probably tear my face from my skull if not for its stupid retractable leash.
anyway.
kristoph wants to be a dog owner because it's a fun normal human thing to do and makes him look non-threatening, well-adjusted, and generally likeable. but he sucks at dog training. nobody has ever fully believed the guy--fucking, even apollo IMMEDIATELY deserts him in court. kristoph lives a superficial life and vongole probably has zero trouble becoming the best friend of whoever gets her next.
just to bring this already embarrassingly long post to a point and an end, here's some quick tips from me for portraying vongole, and by extension kristoph dealing with her:
retrievers are affectionate, so vongole is probably a cuddler
kristoph probably has fur fucking everywhere. he comes into the office with a briefcase thats just filled with lint rollers
vongole knows exactly zero commands. if you have food in your hand, she will sit down, because sometimes that gets her things, and she will try to use it at every possible opportunity
if sitting down doesn't work, she will become more and more annoying. if my dog felt like i wasn't giving him enough attention, he used to walk up to my desk and nudge my forearm with his nose so strongly that my grip on my computer mouse would slip and i would fuck up whatever i was working on.
kristoph loses patience with her. it'd be interesting to write, because he'd want to save face if it happens in public, too. he can't yell at his dog there, that'd look bad. i imagine a lot of insistent leash tugging, a lot of ill-advised grabbing/holding her (here's where he probably gets bitten too), and a lot of smiling and laughing and being like "ohh, haha, she's just so feisty today, what's going on ooo she's so nice normally haha"
i doubt he played much with her? she probably had toys, but for kristoph to interact with them a lot.... you can play fetch with retrievers pretty well, because, once again, they're retrievers. and that's a pretty classic "look at me i'm a normal dog owner" thing to do, so he probably has some like, tennis balls and stuff that he'd throw for her. but that's probably it.
if you write vongole changing owners to klavier and/or apollo, please please please let her do a full 180. if you're going by what i've theorized here vis à vis kristoph, that dog is DESPERATE to learn. dogs want jobs and she would be SOOO happy to be trained.
forget that thing about old dogs and new tricks. my dog is 8 years old and i'm currently teaching him a new command, for funsies. it's working and he loves it. you can write vongole becoming a model citizen at any age. i implore you to.
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laxmiree · 1 year ago
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[CN] MLQC Lucien's Through Thousands of Mirrors event translation (Day 1 -Thursday)
⚠️ SPOILER ALERT ⚠️
This post contains a HEAVY SPOILER for the event that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~
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Through Thousands of Mirrors Event | Day 1 (You're here!) | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | HS/Uni SSR Story: Monochrome Scenery
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[Tidbits: I don't wanna break the flow so I'll put some information here first 😂. Dr. Lawson is Lucien's post-grad professor. Before, he also appears in UR MQ Distant Similarity. During his post-grad he has three seniors Colt, Elliot, and Caroline.]
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[Math]
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Seeing the particularly puzzled expression on the classmate next to him, Lucien starts to consider whether he should offer some assistance within his capabilities.
For instance, he thinks about telling the classmate that the topic currently being discussed on the blackboard is not from the same chapter as the one in the textbook he's currently reading.
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[MATH/BIOCHEMISTRY]
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After the vending machine devours Lucien's one dollar and twenty-five cents for the third time, and with only three minutes left to get to his next class, he begins to seriously contemplate whether he should try some mysterious repair method—like giving it a good smack or a swift kick.
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[BIOCHEMISTRY]
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Lucien coincidentally runs into Colt by the sports field, just as Colt is about to attend a cricket practice session.
Upon realizing that his senior from the lab is not only managing coursework and a significant project workload but also juggling a 20-hour weekly part-time job and daily school cricket team training, Lucien begins to contemplate whether there is any room for further optimization in his own schedule.
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[PREVIEW/COMPUTER SCIENCE]
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During the brief half-hour period, Lucien typically uses the time to prepare for the upcoming class or visit the library to research and gather information.
In any case, that time should not be spent on arguing and explaining to people, like the enthusiastic campus volunteer in front of him.
"No, thank you. I'm not a high school student attending a summer camp. This is my student ID, and I'm indeed a student here, a graduate student. Yes, I'm not lost, and I need to get to my class. Can you please let me go?"
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[COMPUTER SCIENCE]
Lucien presses the enter key, intending to ask the teacher if he can leave early once his coursework is done. However, the error message on the screen deters him from that thought. So, he sits back down and begins to examine it again.
But that's okay, he does understand the commonality between computer science and experimental research: it's often hard to know right away if the thing at hand will work, why it's not working, or even why it's even working.
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[LAB]
Come on, come on, come on. After moving this box, there's another.
And after moving that box, there are three more to go.
The prospects for the future and the shine in one's eyes are often taken away by the God of research in such necessary yet mechanical repetitive work.
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[LAB]
Lucien goes out to get some water and returns to find a school burger on his desk.
Colt, with dark circles under his eyes, waves at Lucien and saying, "No need to thank me, newcomer. Have some food, we might be staying here today."
Lucien quietly eats the burger, hesitant to tell Colt that he has spent more time in the laboratory than in the dorm.
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[LAB]
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When Dr. Lawson enters the laboratory, what he sees is a scene where his graduate and doctoral students are sleeping and sprawled all over the place.
On the laboratory whiteboard, several words were written in large letters: "Publish immediately! Guaranteed to be published in Nature!!"
Dr. Lawson retrieves small blankets from the cabinet, covering each of these research madmen.
He proceeds to organize the data and take over the finishing work on the project. Of course, when it comes to authorship in the paper, not a single one of these kids' names can be left out.
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alltimefail · 3 months ago
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Hi! Welcome to my page!
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➪ I really LOVE Dead Boy Detectives. Help me save Dead Boy Detectives by streaming it on Netflix and by signing our renewal petition HERE. 💜💀🔎
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mayshifts · 4 months ago
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in need of shifting tips and stuff!! (very long post sorry)
so, i've been trying to shift for a year and a half now. i had doubts (obviously) but then i ended up having dr dreams AND even minishifts (or at least i think i did) - though i don't know how it happened so i can't just do it again on command. my theory is that it happened so "easily" and so "often" because back then i was in an EXTREMELY good mood (euphoric, even???? like wtf happened lmao) but that state of mind is pretty much impossible for me to get into again (that wasn't even on purpose in the first place)??? like?? idk how to get back in that state anyway.
now, i don't have doubts since i've already minishift (i think) and i don't think that many ppl would lie about it tbh. also, i genuinely think that shifting is possible because the world is so mysterious and vast like-- lol anyways!! i don't have any fears either because, like, you can't get stuck, you can script stuff in and out, you can go wherever you like (and so avoid the things you don't want to experience) etc. i've tried many things (i KNOW we don't need anything to shift but still): subliminals, reprogramming my mind (that was helpful tbh thx reya), guided meditations, meditating by myself, getaway tapes (still work in progress though i haven't listened to many tapes just yet), methods, law of assumption (still wip too), void state (not sure if i ever got there tbh?? but i think i did idk), and probably more. i'm determined okay??? lmao. also i'm not frustrated that it is not happening just yet (though i wish it was obvs), i don't think i'm overly obsessed with shifting, i'm pretty relaxed about things etc so idk what i'm doing wrong or what i should be doing/trying-
i've pretty much tried anything and everything but i don't know how to finally fully shift just yet - i really want to get there for good. i know it'll happen eventually but, like i said, i don't think i have any blockages anymore (i never really had any? like okay i had doubts but who wouldn't yk). i know what i want and where i want to go. maybe i am ready but my subconscious isn't? but if so, why and how to convince that mf that IT IS time??? like, at least just give me ONE full shift lmao i'm more than ready alright-
anyway, thanks for reading<33 and if someone has ideas, tips or whatever then feel free to give them!! (here or in asks idc)
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39oa · 1 year ago
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Roope/Robo for the ship ask
A MOST BELOVED DOCUMENT. (sry anon for this insane reply pls feel free to stop reading after this first paragraph ahlsdfkh) basically 2124 are my favorite stars ship even though it's generally difficult to articulate what makes them so intriguing, but i also think that That in itself is why i enjoy them so much haha. imo the more subtle and unsurfaced and laborious to construct narratives for the better!
i spend possibly too much time contemplating robo's character and i know that we (or i guess i...) often talk about his Just A Guyisms, which i do believe are an effective assessment of his general demeanor but alsoooo 2124 is just so rifeeee with introspective potential that it krills me every single time i think about it. as @kitnita perfectly put it in this post getting to "work backwards from pre-existing intimacy" is what makes them so much fun, because they have arguably nothing that connects them off-ice and yet demonstrate an almost automatic complementary style on-ice. and the fact is that unlike pavs and robo who play within a similarly restrictive framework, the entire ethos of how 2124 play together is that roope's strengths lie in the negative space of robo's, and it's not so much just the inherent beauty of Your Line Is The Only One I've Ever Known (places hand on chest. this is of course a large part of it as well!) but really actionably that robo plays in such a tactical fashion that allows him to effectively activate roope's motor. and i think roope is the kind of guy who sees that and is like... This is what binds us together 4 life. and it's really like... the ultimate marriage of skillsets which is also what makes the way they eschew any journalistic effusiveness (esp roop although obviously part of that is language-barrier related) so fascinating. like top line hold themselves to an extremely high standard and i think robo is extremeelyyyy aware of the weight of his responsibility as a goal scorer, but they're also both reticent about overcommunicating the importance of their "chemistry" to the media and i feel like that makes it... even more delicious???
i don't know if any of this makes sense but tl;dr To Me the ultimate romance is when two people play beautiful hockey together :) and in my head i also like to live in a world where that's roope's biggest philosophy as well. like roope talks about his connectivity to the home crowd and how he feeds off that energy and although it's not like... necessarily evident, i love characterizing 2124 as basically: despite roope being the most complete player on the team and appearing more mysterious or withdrawn compared to robo's pr capabilities, robo is very much the one who hyperfocuses on singular, self-reflective assessments while roope is more inclined to contemplate his chemistry with robo. and i love seeing it as the Roope_Confessional being "i know that I Don't Need You to play good hockey but it's always better when you're here so why would i want to change any of that?" whereas idk whether robo is prone to the same sentimentalism. and that's what makes them fascinatingggg! like all these weird little unexpected nuanced reversals to Roope being obviously the "cooler" and fashionable one, but also frankly the sort of cringe diehard loyalist "soulbonded to the spirit of the aac" guy whose greatest joy is Buying Miro New Clothes, who cares in very bleeding-heart understated ways etc. all of that really lends dimension to their dynamic despite robo being seen as the antithesis to pretty much all his interests.
i also find their cultural context quite interesting but maybe that's for another day because this is already a ridiculous post.... but briefly something that really informs a lot of their dynamic both in practice and in fic is obviously the existence of finnmaf and roope and miro functioning as the heartbeat of it, and we have moments of robo facetiously referencing them and essentially picking up Spare Euros (aka swedes aka petey and nils) on the side and existing on the outskirts of their friendship. and robo is someone who's moved around a lot and has a pretty varied background and he's talked about how he didn't really recognize the weight of that until he became a public figure and grew into the responsibility of his professional role, and that shows a lot in how he carries himself and interacts with media. and with roope being an "unknown" quantity in some aspects with the language barrier and being from finland i loooveeee any potential fic/narrative that kind of peels back all those little cultural layers or even flips their situations (e.g. post-retirement fic set in finland, soulbonding with the ability to speak/understand finnish—but also Not Understanding and finding comfort in that is part of the appeal so there are a lot of places to take this... etc. etc.). 
i will stop here but beloved ao3 user murkya truly does a wonderful job of capturing them and probably in a more entertaining and digestible manner than anything i said here does :') 
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thecrownestt · 1 year ago
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This post is for the deathly feedist feeders. Also the feedees, if y'all want (my) thoughts on how it goes.
As much as I can exclaim, it is jaw-droppingly attractive when we can target a feedee for their weakness for eating. Oh, you ate that much? You didn't ask me if it was ok? How could you do this to yourself? Etc etc etc. We all know it.
What about the feeder angle? It's not as special or stressful, but isn't it super important for a feedee to know?
What is the process for a feeder to get food. Sure, I'll go and pick up a pretty notable order. A pizza with multiple sides. A fast food order with a few drinks and a few bags. Any sort of take-out where you get three or more utensil sets. With my thin self, it can get passed over. He's picking up for a family. At worst, he works out a LOT and needs the extra calories. Same with the grocery store. Oh, this fella takes care of the shopping. He's a star. He's helpful. Isn't he great?
But he isn't great, right? The excesses related to all this isn't lost. Holy hell, this is a LOT of food, and I know why I'm getting it. I nudged my feedee. I told them how cute it would be. No no no, it's ok, eating unrestricted is critical to how I sleep at night next to a bloated, heavy babe. You are my babe, don't forget that. But I can't sayyy that to the restaurant folks. I smile, I pick up the big order, and I shuffle back to the car in a dazed state.
This amount of food is entirely too much.
It's unreasonable, really.
If it went to one person, what would they think?
If they found out I was pushing the habit, what would they think of me?
No no no, it isn't nearly as visibly fascinating as a too fat person getting their food, but isn't there credit for what goes on for the feeder here?
Chronically being faced with a lie by your intentions. The workers looking at me going "yeah, he isn't smashing this whole order, I'll smile" knowing full-fucking sinister me is going to tease, force, and praise the victim who signed up for me to take care of them during this journey of obesity?
Yes, you can't maneuver a walk through the store anymore. No, the car doesn't fit so easy like it used to. Can't we let the mystery of my appearances at the fast food drive-thru be mine? How is this small man getting so much food...so often. The workers will brush it off, but oh my goddd I'm wearing it on my conscious. Would any of them let me finish the order if they knew I was so regularly tying them up? I know how you fight. You need restraints. You'll be free once you finish your portions. Others would rebuke me in horror. Comments on websites. Documentaries highlighting my evil ways. Until it happens, I'm the essence of what this is all is. I keep it going. I force the issue when you are squirming under your shockingly helpless body.
Let me go to McDonald's? Let me feel that rush of horrid? Let me think about how I'm traveling and procuring for the pure purpose of making you a little more tired, wheezy, and fat. Fat fat fat. It's all we care about. Let me do it. Please. You're too cute for me to do anything but this.
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rock-and-compass · 29 days ago
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Episode 5.8 – Destiny
Precursor - I wrote about the fifth season of Angel many years ago - probably around the time that the season 8 comics were first being published. I originally published these meta essays over on LiveJournal and I've decided to re-post them (as written), mostly for archival reasons. I love season 5 of Angel. It's such a shame it got axed before it could get the envisioned 6th and 7th series
Written by David Fury and Steven DeKnight
The concept of destiny is an interesting one. On one hand is the idea that life is a series of predetermined events that are inevitable and unchangeable. On the other is the thought that destiny is shaped by choices, decisions and the utilisation of free will and thus the individual is the architect of their own outcomes. Most people would argue that they ascribe to the latter version. The high value placed on individualism, self-determination and personal autonomy in Western cultures certainly supports this position. However, humans, being the contradictory creatures that they are, also often talk of ‘luck’ and ‘fate’ as determining factors. We rationalise disappointment or failure with “It was not meant to be” or “it was just bad luck”, we romanticise events and relationships by saying they are ‘fated’ or ‘destined’. So at the same time we claim the right to determine our own destiny, we also make allowances for some all-powerful universal force that can also influence or determine outcomes. 
Destiny has always been important in the Buffyverse. Buffy is the chosen slayer. It is her destiny, her fate to fight the forces of darkness despite the fact that this will inevitably lead to a premature death. Her choice as ‘the one’ was outside her control, she did not volunteer for the position; it was thrust upon her whether she liked it or not. Destiny intervened, big time. Buffy’s reaction is to accept destiny’s calling, but on her terms. She gathers a band of reliable allies where other slayers have fought (and died) alone; forms a partnership with her Watcher where previous slayers have been subservient and changes the rules of the game by empowering multiple slayers and thus challenges destiny’s insistence on the chosen one. 
Destiny is also very important to Angel too. First, fate catches up with him in the form of a curse that derails his demonic existence and then, more particularly after he is returned from the hell dimension to which he was sent in Becoming (part 2). Fate intercedes on his behalf and engineers his return. But it gets him thinking and wondering why a mass murdering monster such as he would be the recipient of such mediation when he deserves no better than eternity in hell anyway. In Amends he seeks Giles’ opinion: 
Angel: I should be in a demon dimension suffering an eternity of torture. Giles: I don't feel particularly inclined to argue with that. Angel: But I'm not. I was freed, and I don't understand why.
And so he begins a process of self-examination; why is he here and what is his purpose? These reflections have particular importance to the souled vampire who has laboured with the guilt and shame of his past deeds for some time. Angel comes to the conclusion that the purpose for his existence is to make amends for his past actions.  Once he arrives in Los Angeles he is accosted by Doyle, a friendly demon who passes on messages from the mysterious ‘Powers That Be’, a metaphor for divine fate if ever there was one. The PTB are an all-knowing, all-seeing entity who can intervene in the day to day activities of humankind if they so desire but usually, in their infinite wisdom, choose not to. But they do choose Angel as their champion.  They give him missions; they encourage him to reconnect to his lost humanity by helping the helpless. They treat him with distinction, like he’s special. Well, he is one of a kind after all. 
The discovery of the Shanshu prophecy does nothing to diminish Angel’s growing self-concept of ‘uniqueness’.  It, in fact, proves it. The prophecy foretells the fate of a vampire with a soul who will play a major role in the apocalypse and who will win the reward of living and dying as a human. And, as there’s only one candidate in existence it becomes Angel’s unquestioned destiny to one day fulfil the prophecy. 
Um…, did we say there was only one candidate? That’s not quite right though. There was only one candidate but then the game changed. That other vampire, that little upstart Spike went and got himself a soul too. All bets are off kids. 
Destiny opens with a flashback to 1880, just days after William has been sired by Drusilla. In the Angel season two-episode Darla we see Drusilla, after complaining of the lack of attention she’s receiving from Angelus, advised to go and create her own plaything. Drusilla is enamoured with the suggestion: 
Dru:  I could.  I could pick the wisest and bravest knight in all the land - and make him mine forever with a kiss. 
Moments later William bumps into the trio as he rushes from recently endured social humiliation and romantic rejection (as seen in B5.07- Fool for Love).  Darla jokes at the sight of him "Or you could just take the first drooling idiot that comes along." …But Drusilla seems to see something in this tender-hearted stranger and seeks him out to create her companion.  Drusilla, of course, possesses ‘the sight’. She has psychic ability and can see the future but, thanks to Angelus, she is also quite mad, so it is difficult to know if her ramblings are actual divinations or just eccentric babble.  ‘Macha’ at the now defunct Tea at the Ford (in a meta that was titled “the joker and the thief: boundary and cauldron issues”) raises the tantalising possibility that Drusilla made Spike for the express purpose of impacting Angel's future, perhaps in some sort of revenge for how she herself was created. The King of Cups expects a picnic indeed, and just maybe that long awaited birthday has finally arrived. 
So Drusilla takes her new creation home to meet daddy. He assesses the new arrival as ‘another rooster into the henhouse’. Drusilla worries that Angelus is cross with her for turning William and making him one of them but Angelus seems quite eager to play with the new toy. He entices William into a game of ‘chicken’, holding their hands in a beam of sunlight until smoke spirals from their palms. William, though reluctant at first, quickly works out the rules and enters into the spirit of the sport. They laugh and Angelus declares that they will be the best of friends. Angelus is willing to teach the younger vampire the ways of the world as long as he knows his place and William seems to instinctively look up to and want to impress Angelus. Thus their relationship begins, an abominable [grand]father and son  with just a hint of competitiveness already beginning to infect. 
Back in the present day, some 120 years later, Spike and Angel are not the best of friends. Spike wants an office, Angel won’t give him one. Spike’s sick of nesting in someone else’s roost and it seems that as soon as he’s forced to share space with the old grand-sire that’s always exactly what he must do, play second-fiddle to his elder, be the second, superfluous rooster. Time to challenge some boundaries. Harmony gives Spike a package that has been sent to him, care of Wolfram and Hart. She opens it for him and a blinding flash emanates from within, apart from that the box is empty. Spike goes to continue his argument with Angel only to discover that he can’t actually walk through walls anymore. He’s no longer a ghost. He’s solid. He’s back. From the minute he’s back in corporeal form Spike makes his presence felt.  
Spike: Hey. I'm—(touches his chest) I can feel (touches Angel's chest) Angel: Hey. Stop touching me 
And that’s it in a nutshell. Angel just wants Spike to stop touching him, touching his world, touching his reputation, touching his conscience, touching his limitations, touching his identity. Spike takes the cup of blood out of Angel’s hand and drinks without hesitation. It neatly foreshadows coming events and begins to set up the dual juxtapositions of Angelus-William and Angel-Spike. Spike’s first priority is to feel. He sees Harmony, with whom he’s had prior dalliances (see season 4 and 5 of BtVS) and automatically sets about charming her into a quick ‘nooner’. He doesn’t have to try too hard. Angel denies permission but darn, Spike doesn’t follow orders anymore and Angel has little choice but to watch them depart. Meanwhile the office is in chaos. The phones have all gone crazy, the security and computer systems are all playing up and no one knows why….
Back in 1880 we find Angelus and William post the shared slaughter of innocents. They are the best of friends. William is in awe of Angelus, he’s a bloody killing marvel. He’s learning from the best. But he still doesn’t quite get it. Angelus offers him a drink, but William rejects the offer:
William: No, that's your spoils, mate.  Angelus: I've had my fill. Go on, take her.  William: Nah. I think I might go and find Drusilla. She's prowling for street urchins in the east end. Make her happy if I joined her for a bit.  Angelus: She's special, isn't she? Our Drusilla.  William: More than that. She brought me into this world. Where I was meant to be. It's like... she's my destiny
You can’t say that Angelus didn’t give him fair warning. ‘Sharing the spoils’, ‘‘our” Drusilla; this vampire life is clearly more . . . communal than William’s still human influenced, strictly defined rights of ownership allow. Angelus doesn’t correct him then and there, instead he sends William on his way with a fatherly warning to be back before sunrise and a silent resolution to teach the young pup a lesson. Ironically, at this stage, it is William who believes in destiny.  He believes that Drusilla siring him was destiny and that they are destined to be together forever.  William, despite being a vampire, is still somehow in possession of human reasoning and romanticism. Remnant human impulses allow him to think of Drusilla as his fate, stop him taking another man’s ‘spoils’, motivates the desire to make another happy and indeed, leads one to sire one's mother out of love. Funnily enough it is this retention of human emotions that causes Angelus to decide that William is a little dim. Hell, what kind of daft vampire has to be told that the rules of the game have changed? 
Angel and crew put two and two together and realise that Spike’s re-corporealisation is the reason for the office going haywire.  Eve arrives on the scene to confirm their suspicions. 
Eve: Upshot is we've got trouble with a capital "T," and that rhymes with "P," and that stands for "prophecy." Shanshu. Maybe you've heard of it?  Angel: Oh, God. That again. Yeah, I'm familiar. So?  Eve: So it talks about a champion; A vampire with a soul who'll play a pivotal role in the apocalypse, for good or evil. Anybody's guess - That part's hazy.  Fred: I thought the Shanshu had to do with Angel becoming human again after—  Eve: That's just the epilogue, princess. And, for the record, the prophecy doesn't call Angel by name.  Gunn: Hold on. You're saying because Spike's back, you think he's—  Eve: I don't think anything. All I can tell you is his very existence is disrupting the order of things. 
A glitch in the system, his very existence is disrupting the order of things. These are great analogies for the character of Spike who has often been accused of being a glitch in terms of the whole series; that he destroyed Buffy-lore by making it possible that vampires could exercise control over their inner demon and feel human emotions (Weinman, 2003). The writers defend Spike by arguing that he is an anomaly in the vampire world (Destiny, DVD commentary) and indeed, his inclusion in the series allows for much more interesting possibilities than bland rule-bound monsters ever could. (And is he really an anomaly? Drusilla, Harmony, that smart vampire from Buffy season 2, even Darla post-resurrection, Holden, the vamps in the blood den that Riley frequents... they all show some non-typical vampire behaviours at times)
Eve acts the innocent as she explains but Fred is suspicious:
Fred: You knew this would happen. All that time I was working on re-corporealising Spike, you never mentioned…
Eve denies the accusation and hits the ball back into their court by asking ever so sweetly how they managed the feat. Meanwhile, the encounter taking place between Spike and Harmony is not especially romantic. On Spike’s side it is a purely physical act, driven by a need to feel after the prolonged deprivation of all senses. Harmony is affected by the harbinger curse and accuses Spike of using her as a substitute for his ‘Slayer whore’, and she’s got a point, it wouldn’t be the first time.   
Angel is in denial about what is happening and, more particularly, why. He doesn’t want to believe that Spike’s presence and more significantly his, in Angel’s opinion, dubious status as a ‘champion’ has anything to do with anything. But Eve is insistent:
Eve: Fact, Jack. There's only supposed to be one candidate for the vampire with the soul hero part in the big show. Two of you and the wheel of destiny starts to spin off its axis. That's why everything and everyone is going mad.   
A little bit later and Spike wants to leave them all to it and head off to Europe and, by implication, Buffy,  but the news that the Big Cat (the conduit to the Senior Partners) is gone forces Angel to take the threat seriously and to ask Spike to stay until the problem can be sorted out. Eve suggests they need to determine who the prophecy is about in order to stave off universal destruction. Angel lets it slip that he’s recently read the Shanshu and now Spike is instantly suspicious:
Spike: Hold on. You read the prophecy? The one you don't believe in? Uh, load of rubbish, you said? Well, isn't that bloody interesting. 
Hang on! If the old bastard has been reading it, must mean he believes it so maybe there’s something to it after all?  So, in the absence of Wesley they go to Wesley’s department, to an expert named Mr. Sirk. He tells them about some newly translated verses that speak of the Cup of Perpetual Torment from which the prophesied vampire with a soul is predestined to drink. 
Spike: Perpetual torment? Just know that's not gonna taste very good Sirk: "He will have the weight of worlds upon him, binding his limbs, grinding his bones to meal until he saves creation... or destroys it."  Spike: Uh...right. So, what's in it for me?  Sirk: The vampire will have his past washed clean.  Angel: And live again in mortal form. Yeah, that part I know. 
So, Spike glosses over the torment part, after all, suffering, torment and high personal costs are not new experiences for him, and he wants to know what’s in it for him. Sirk supplies the answer which Angel then completes. He knows it by heart. That promise, that reward, that destiny. He’s tried not to believe, to hope, but it’s hard when you’re a ‘prophecy boy’ to ever completely forget or disregard. So, the solution to their problems is obviously to get Angel to drink from this cup. Spike objects. Why are they all so sure it's Angel? 
Angel: Ah, come on Spike, you really think this is about you? 
And in that short sentence Angel attempts to put the usurper back in his place. He dismisses any possibility that Spike could qualify as a hero and therefore the possibility that Spike could have anything to do with ‘his’ prophecy. But apparently this is not something they can argue about. It’s destiny. The drinker of the cup is preordained and can’t be altered. Luckily, the newly discovered parts of the prophecy pinpoint the exact location of the cup. It’s in an abandoned Opera House in Nevada, just waiting for the right vampire with a soul to show up and drink. 
Angel: I really don't have much of a choice. If it's there, I'm just gonna have to accept that the prophecy's real, and hope that it stops this madness. In the meantime, you're in charge. Keep this place quarantined till I get— Where's Spike?
Spike is, of course, nowhere to be found. While Angel is standing around talking, being cloaked in his own martyrdom, Spike is already in action and doing. Thus perfectly demonstrating one of the key differences between Angel and Spike– one says, the other does, inertia versus action. On their way to Death Valley the rivals share a heated telephone exchange in which Angel comes within inches of claiming the Shanshu, which he has always believed was his, as his: 
Angel: You think this is a game? People are dying.  Spike: And one of us is going to stop it. Hey, what do you know? I vote for me.  Angel: There's no voting. It's a prophecy. And the Shanshu's not about you, Spike.  Spike:  Still can't accept it, can you? Sad, really. All these years believing you're the signified monkey, only to find out you're just a big hunk of nobody cares.  Angel:  I really wished you stayed a ghost.  Spike: But I didn't, did I? Burned up saving the world, and now I'm back for real. Wonder why that is? Oh, wait. 'Cause I'm the one, you git! 
‘It’s not about you’, Angel tells Spike. The gap in the information is of course Angel screaming silently “It’s me! It’s my prophecy! Now back off brat!” To make matters worse Spike vocalises Angel’s worst fear. “All these years believing you're the signified monkey…” He had to believe he was special, why else would he have been bought back from that Hell dimension? Why else would the PTB have made him their hall monitor?  He has to be special.
Spike beats Angel to the Opera House but waits for Angel to arrive before heading for the cup. For Spike, it’s not just about fulfilling the prophecy, it’s about a confrontation, one he’s been dying to have for a long time. 
Spike: Here we are, then. Two vampire heroes, competing to wet our whistle with a drink of light, refreshing torment Angel: Is that what you think you are—a hero?  Spike:  Saved the world, didn't I?  Angel:  Once. Talk to me after you've done it a couple more times.  Spike:  Done talking, mate. Got a prophecy needs fulfilling. Ta. Angel:  Spike! Damn it! 
Angel is still dismissing Spike’s candidacy because of his lack of hero-credibility. He thinks he knows the real Spike, and that guy’s not a hero; demons don’t change, and besides, Angel’s always been the superior one, and that certainly hasn’t changed. Has it?
Back in 1880 we see William returning from an unsuccessful attempt to find Drusilla. He finds Angelus indulging in some carnal pleasures with, William assumes, his ‘spoils’ from earlier in the evening. But it is not the unfortunate bride; it is Drusilla that Angelus is rutting and William is visibly crushed. 
Drusilla: The little children didn't come out to play. Did you miss me, pretty William?  Angelus:  I'm sure he did, Dru. After all... you are his destiny.  Drusilla: Oh. That's so sweet. 
And then Angelus laughs at William and his odd, foolish, romantic notions of Destiny and then Drusilla joins in. They both laugh at his absurdity. William gets angry, directing his fury squarely at Angelus…
Back in the opera house Angel reaches the cup. It’s right in front of him. All he has to do is take a few steps forward, reach out, grab it and it’s his. But he doesn’t. He hesitates. Spike arrives, landing just behind Angel. They both look at the cup:
Angel: So... what do we do now?  Spike: (sighs, punches Angel, smiles) What do you think?
Actions speak louder than words yet again; Angel hesitates, asks for guidance, talks too much. Spike goes for action, draws Angel into this long-coming confrontation.  
Spike: Come on! Let's see how much soul you really got in there. 
And so it begins, this epic fight between student and master, ‘father’ and ‘son’, that is about so much more than drinking from some stupid cup. Vicious punches are thrown and it is obvious that both are relishing this opportunity to finally have a crack at the other. Spike gets the upper hand and sends Angel flying backwards. As Angel lands he inadvertently comes into brief contact with an ornate crucifix. Angel recoils in pain and kicks the offending relic away. Spike laughs:
Spike: Oh, yeah. Look at you. Thinking you're the big saviour, fighting for truth, justice, and soccer moms—but you still can't lay flesh on a cross without smelling like bacon, can you? 
Spike belittles Angel’s superhero stance, substituting a cheap icon of middle-America for the usual ‘American way’. Spike is really asking; how can a superhero, defender of the helpless, really be a hero if he can’t touch a cross, if he is still innately evil? The cross or crucifix is significant here because it is the ultimate symbol of redemption. The crucifix is a Christian symbol that signifies Christ’s death and resurrection and the bearing of sin on behalf of humanity and ensures that, if faith is placed in the resurrected Christ, then forgiveness of sins is guaranteed as is as an eternity spent in heaven. The crucifix has always been important in vampire mythology. In Eastern Europe, burial with a crucifix was believed to prevent rebirth in vampiric form and increasingly in nineteenth century vampire literature, the cross became recognised as a weapon with which to ward off vampires, the holy symbol being a direct [and painful] contrast to demonic evil.  So if Angel is still not able to so much as touch a cross then what does it say about him and his crusade for redemption? Angel dismisses Spike’s observations not by arguing his case but by countering, “Like you’re any different”. The challenge has been thrown and Spike takes on the argument, he reckons he’s got a pretty good case:
Spike: Well, that's just it. I am. And you know it. You had a soul forced on you—as a curse. Make you suffer for all the horrible things you'd done. But me . . . I fought for my soul; went through the demon trials. Almost did me in a dozen times over, but I kept fighting. 'Cause I knew it was the right thing to do. It's my destiny. 
Spike is sure that the acquisition method of their souls makes all the difference. Makes his superior, makes him superior. It allows him to make ironic reference to ‘destiny’, a concept he no longer professes any faith in, just to rub Angel’s nose in it. Confidence and self-belief are Spike’s biggest advantages over Angel at this moment. Angel is so lacking in these vital elements that he can’t even mount a decent argument against Spike’s logic; he can’t formulate the words to defend himself. Time and time again in this banter-filled battle he resorts to cheap shots and low blows. 
 Angel:  Really? Heard it was just to get into a girl's pants. 
Um, no, he already did that, before he got the soul. That wasn’t the reason. But nevertheless, the allusion to Buffy and the belittlement of Spike’s motivation to retrieve his soul certainly get Spike increasingly riled.  In the course of the battle Angel again finds himself within striking distance of the cup. Again he’s hesitant; again Spike is able to make a counterattack. The fight goes on with Angel continuing to deride Spike’s mental capacities while Spike continues to question Angel’s hero-status because of his apparent allegiance with Wolfram and Hart and openly questions which side of the line Angel is fighting on. Angel counters with an enigmatic, “Little more complicated than that”, then can’t resist having another dig at Spike, “But you always were a bit simple... Willy”. Angel, confidence suddenly higher now that the upstart is back in his place, strides towards the cup…
A flashback to 1880 reveals Angelus repelling a weak, ineffectual attack from William with embarrassing ease. And so we get a look at how vampire hierarchy works, how the game is played.  The boy needed to learn so Angelus taught him. And the first rule is that Angelus is the boss. And the second is that in the world of vampires you can take what you want, when you want it, but nothing is yours. There is no ownership or exclusivity.  Spike tries to argue that he and Drusilla are ‘forever’ and sort of convinces Dru to the idea,  it's romantic and strange and enticing in this harsh reality of vampires and it changes the whole reading of the Spike/Drusilla relationship.  Angelus is scathing, “Ah, still the poet now, aren't we, Willy?” then taunts William into making another attack on him on behalf of Drusilla. 
Back in the present day the fight is reaching its climax:
Spike: Come on, hero. Tell me more. Teach me what it means. And I'll tell you why you can't stand the bloody sight of me. Angel: Tell it to your therapist.  Spike: 'Cause every time you look at me... you see all the dirty little things I've done, all the lives I've taken... because of you! Drusilla sired me... but you... you made me a monster Angel: I didn't make you Spike, I just opened up the door... and let the real you out.  [Spike picks up the cross and hits Angel with it, knocking him across the room. Spike continues to hold the cross in his hands.] Spike: You never knew the real me, (only when his hands begin to smoke does he throw the cross away) too busy trying to see your own reflection... praying there was someone as disgusting as you in the world, so you could stand to live with yourself. Take a long look, hero. I'm nothing like you! 
And so we get to the crux of why Angel hates Spike; because he is at the end of the day, Angelus’ greatest creation.  A reflection made in Angelus’ image so that he can look upon himself in all his glory. Drusilla might have been a work of art in the destruction of a human mind, but Spike, well he’s a masterpiece, he’s killed two slayers, he’s second only to the grand sire in notoriety, he’s a chip off the old block: he’s a legacy. And somewhere deep inside him, ‘Angelus’ is proud.  But he makes Angel uncomfortable. He represents everything that Angel hates, or at least he used to… Spike may be an Angelus production, but he turned his back on that, changed, challenged the demon, did what Angel never could, and it galls him that this little upstart might just be better. And to seal the argument Spike picks up the crucifix and hits Angel with it, sending him flying across the room, he holds it, deliberately and prolonged, demonstrating his superiority not only in the ‘flesh on cross’ stakes but also the redemption and demonic reconciliation stakes and brings us back full circle to the beginning of the argument once more. They are different and it seems that the method of soul restoration really does matter. But a hundred-plus years' worth of conviction that someone is your inferior is a hard thing to budge, and Angel doggedly clings to what he knows despite all argument and evidence to the contrary:
Angel: No. You're less. That's why Buffy never really loved you; because you weren't me. 
Who’s clinging to a ‘forever’ love now huh? So Spike decides on a base reminder; “Guess that means she was thinking about you... all those times I was puttin' it to her” he says, succeeding in getting Angel back into the fight. “Let’s finish this” Angel says menacingly and slips into game-face. Spike follows suit. It is kind of strange that it has taken this long for the vampire brows to appear, but now that it’s a fight to the finish, to the death, it’s no use denying what they are. The final phase of the fight is quick and to the point. Both give as good as they get but Spike manages to gain the upper hand, simultaneously kicking Angel to the ground while snatching a fragment of wood out of the air. Once the wood is in his hand he instinctively adopts a staking stance, hesitates for a moment, and then drives the wooden stake home into . . . Angel’s shoulder. Angel cries in pain and reverts to his human face. 
Spike: Probably should've dusted you, but honestly... I don't want to hear her bitch about it.
So, Spike doesn’t kill the old sire at the end of the fight, he chooses to show mercy where perhaps, had the roles been reversed, Angel would have shown none. Then to add salt to the wound, Spike reminds Angel that he does have a relationship with Buffy; that he doesn’t want to hurt her, that Angel’s death would hurt her and that he won’t be responsible for that. And even sweeter, is the unmistakable assumption that he will be communicating with ‘her’ in the near future whether Angel likes it or not. It is beyond his control. 
Spike takes the cup, he’s won the right, but still Angel tries to dissuade him:
Angel: That's not a prize you're holding. It's not a trophy. It's a burden. It's a cross. One you're gonna have to bear till it burns you to ashes. Believe me. I know… So ask yourself: Is this really the destiny that was meant for you? Do you even really want it? Or is it that you just want to take something away from me? 
It’s a nice insight into Angel. The promise of the Shanshu has not been all hugs and puppies; we knew that, but Angel actually sees it as nothing more than a torturous burden. You’d think he’d be happy to be well rid of it. But he’s not because it’s His Destiny and he wants it more than anything, he needs the punishment, the torment to earn his forgiveness, earn his redemption. It’s his proof he’s worth saving but it’s slipping between his fingers like water the more he tries to hold on to it. He tries to warn Spike, tells him about the downside to being a prophecy boy and finally tries to challenge Spike into revealing why he wants it anyway? Is it to be a champion or to take something from Angel? Spike’s reply is characteristically honest. A bit of both actually. 
By drinking the cup Spike stakes a claim for this destiny not because he believes in the destiny, but because he can. He’s the ultimate advertisement for free will. William/Spike was a good student. He learnt his lessons well. He learnt the ways of the vampire, accepted his place in the hierarchy and forsakes his belief in destiny. Angelus was an excellent teacher. It prepared him well for the break-up of the family, when it was just him and Drusilla. And they thrived together; he killed another slayer and garnered a notorious reputation. It was all going swimmingly until a mob in Prague got the better of them, nearly killed Dru and forced recuperation on the Hellmouth of Sunnydale. That’s when things started to go off track. The return of Angelus made the duo a trio and Spike lost his place at the top of the tree, as Dru’s favourite, now his elder was back. And then their audacious plan of unleashing hell on earth necessitated Spike’s allegiance with the Slayer to defeat them and win back his ‘true love’. Drusilla never quite forgave him for that and so Angelus was right; theirs was not a forever love, she was not his destiny, and he was lost. On his return to Sunnydale, the hand of fate intervened, or was he just in the wrong place at the wrong time? The Initiative shoved a chip in his brain that effectively ended his days of hunting humans. It should have been the end of him. He should have ended his days as a guinea pig in a science laboratory but instead Spike now starts to develop his gift of thumbing his nose at ‘fate’. He escapes, goes to Buffy for help, and adapts to the new situation. Giles makes an interesting observation in The I in Team:
Giles: Um, thinking about your affliction and, ah, your newfound discovery that you can fight only demons; it occurs to me that . . . I realize this is completely against your nature but I-I-I-- Has it occurred to you that there may be a higher purpose-- Spike: Ugh! You made me lose count. What are you still doing here? Giles: Talking to myself, apparently.
Giles puts the suggestion out there, a higher purpose, a destiny; but Spike will have none of it and he continues that way, doing things on his own terms for his own reasons. He makes his own destiny thank-you very much. Chip in the brain? Seek asylum from your worst enemy. No purpose to existence?  Find purpose in Slayer’s kid sister. In love with the Slayer? Forge a relationship with her. No soul? Get one. Not a champion? Become one. A ghost? Learn to affect the world around you despite the limitations! Want it? Want it badly enough? Then make it happen. Spike has never needed a higher purpose, a prescribed destiny to act. He is the master of his own destiny, and his seizure of the cup is a practical demonstration of this. 
But . . . the cup is a fake. It’s not perpetual torment, it’s Mountain Dew. The search for the cup has been a wild goose chase set up by god-knows-who in a deliberate ploy to god-knows-what.
Angel and Spike high tail it back to Wolfram and Hart where the chaos has not abated. Gunn has fallen under the harbinger curse, and turned his crazed attention on Eve, pinpointing her as the cause of all the troubles, singling her out as untrustworthy and a dangerous enemy who wants to kill them all. He’s sedated and restrained along with other victims. Sirk has disappeared leaving them with no clues as to who master-minded the plan to dupe them and no clue as to how to stop the madness.  But the second problem is resolved when just as suddenly as it began, the curse wears off and things return to normal.
Eve explains that the Senior Partners have been working on the problem from the start and have managed to temporarily restore equilibrium to the universe. She asserts that they don't know a thing about it and that they are as angry as Angel about the whole thing. Angel is both dubious and suspicious. The events of the day don’t seem to have had a lasting impact on Spike – but why would they; sure the cup was a fake, but he got his solid back on, got lucky, had an awesome fight and got to be the bigger man by not killing Angel so he could only feel good about the outcome. Angel on the other hand…
It’s his turn to be crushed. He confides in Gunn that Spike beat him. Gunn doesn’t understand; Wesley would have, but Angel has to explain it to Charles:
Angel: No, you don't...He won the fight, Gunn... for the first time, doesn't matter if the cup is real or not. In the end, he... Spike was stronger. He wanted it more.  Gunn: Angel, it doesn't mean anything.  Angel: What if it does? What if it means that...I'm not the one? 
And if he’s not the one then what the hell is he? Everything he thought he was, everything he’s fought to be. Suddenly there are question marks where once there was certainty.  
By episodes end it is clear that Eve and ex-Wolfram and Hart lawyer Lindsey McDonald, are partners in the plot to undermine Angel, they are the puppeteers masterminding this great performance:
And we are left wondering did they know what would happen once Spike was reintegrated with the World? Was the chaos real or somehow manufactured along with the new bits of the prophecy and the cup as part of the elaborate ruse? It seems apparent that the duo is behind the retrieval of the amulet from the ruins of Sunnydale and the postage of both it and the re-corporialisation box to Wolfram and Hart. It begs the unanswerable question whether they actually provided or engineered, through Lilah, the use of the amulet as a bargain sweetener in the take-over deal, and who they actually wanted to wear it. In Lineage, Eve alluded to the suggestion that the amulet had indeed been worn by its intended target after all, but this then invites speculation of how they could possibly guess that Buffy would give it to Spike. Speculating is all we can do because it’s never fully explained.  Probably doesn’t matter. The disruption to the universe does seem real though. People are going bloody-eyed and turning ‘postal’, and more significantly, the Big Cat, the conduit between the firm and the senior partners is gone, replaced by a howling abyss. Surely this is more than Eve and Lindsey could achieve on their own and undetected?  It is also important to note that Wesley’s absence is integral to the success of their cup scam. Eve needs her ‘expert’ to be the one to interpret the prophecy and direct them to the cup. It would seem that Eve and Lindsey were aware of the implications of the amulet and the real consequences of re-corporealisation, and therefore they had to bide their time and wait for an opportune moment before allowing Spike to become corporeal again. Team Angel is now on red alert but looking at the Senior Partners in suspicion. Eve seems pleased with this outcome.
And Spike didn’t kill Angel, she tells Lindsey, surprised but not perturbed. Is that what they wanted, or did they want Angel dead? Or didn’t they care? Seems they can work with whatever outcome. It’s a start.
Next up - Angel 5.9 Harm's Way
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dvzaiosamu · 7 months ago
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I know some of you don't read Lyney's lore when you gain friendship with him, so I'm totally going to force you all into reading all of it. I'm begging you all. Look, if you're not going to read it ingame, then read it here and devour that lore.
Now, now, this might seem like something I did because I didn't knew what to post, it's true, it is, but I also want to spread around Lyney's lore for all my Lyney lovers, even if making this post is pointless.
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Character details.
The people of Fontaine love their tales of mystery. The intricate case setups and unexpected twists and turns are captivating for all.
Magic recreates this experience under the converging spotlights. For the price of a ticket and some of your free time, you can embark on a wondrous journey amidst thunderous applause and astounded cries.
If you were to ask around as to which of Fontaine's "guides" is best at setting up such fantastical tours, most fans will tell you that it is Lyney.
Suave, romantic, and talented, he performs miracle after miracle with a casual air.
In this industry, one needs only a stable of staple tricks to ensure a renowned reputation and comfortable life.
However, Lyney's shows always feature some new trick. Some say that he was born into poverty, and the resultant burning hunger for fame and fortune drives his boundless desire to create.
In truth, he simply pursues novelty in his capacity as a performer — indeed, he feels that if he cannot put his whole heart into the show, his deep desire to perform cannot be fully satiated.
This is why, despite the applause rising to a fever pitch and beyond, he will rarely satisfy the crowd's calls for a reprise of his most well-known tricks. Some devoted fans consider this to be a bit of a shame...
...And for them, such regret will only continue to increase each time they purchase a ticket and go in to watch his show.
Friendship level 2.
While Lyney first began his journey in magic to fill his stomach, he has continued to perfect his art even after becoming a person of some renown in Fontaine.
Magic, after all, has been his benefactor. Not only has it allowed him and his sister to survive, but it has also allowed them to gain the "acknowledgment" that most children, growing up in a loving home, would have received from their parents.
Even from an early age, performance was something closely tied to Lyney's life. Each time he would go on stage, Lyney would have the audience whooping and clapping. And yet, he did not lose himself in their adulation — if anything, it often troubled him.
If audiences were simply drawn to the spectacle of magic, then who was to say that they wouldn't abandon Lyney's stage as soon as they caught wind of a more enthralling show in town?
In other words, just as an audience would be attracted by petals and cards, they would also be pulled away by grander fireworks and crackling gun salutes. What else did magicians have up their sleeves to capture the hearts of their audience, beyond enticing them with ever more grandiose impressions of shock and awe?
In all of Lyney's performances afterward, audiences would begin to notice a change — Lyney would add many segments between performances in which he would interact with them.
Indeed, this magician seemed without any airs, sharing various fascinating anecdotes about his life, not even minding if the audience should try to guess at the secret behind his tricks.
Of course, the sharper wits amongst them would notice that Lyney's tales were not truth, but instead a way to build up the atmosphere, a bedding laid for a greater magic trick to land upon.
Yet no one would quibble about these white lies. After all, truth and falsehoods were already inextricable in many parts of the performance — why, even the magician himself could be said to have become a part of the magic.
Thus does Lyney sometimes appear near and dear, and other times just out of the reach of his audience, balancing human affinity and magical mystery perfectly in the palm of his hand, his smile leaving the audiences' imaginations free to run wild.
No matter how rich or poor, sad or glad the audience member, imagination is the great equalizer, carrying the charm of magic to all.
Thus did the mystery and elegance of this magician spread far and wide, with people even opining that his skill at creating an atmosphere is itself as exquisite as magic.
"Is that so? Well, I'm just trying to invite everyone to take a brief break from reality, that's all."
Friendship level 3.
Lyney's new home was the Hotel Bouffes d'ete, located in a corner of the Court of Fontaine.
The place was home to many orphans who shared similar experiences with him and his sister. The people here helped each other like a family would, greeting the fallout and consequences of those tragic years together.
But the siblings, even with a recommendation from the manager of the Hotel, did not find it all that easy to fit in, nor was it easy for the children there to immediately accept these new "outsiders."
And in this environment, oppressive in its gloom, the water pumping equipment broke while Lynette was using it, right before everyone's eyes, deepening the distrust to the extreme.
Lyney could only step up and take responsibility, agreeing to fix the equipment so as not to affect everyone's daily lives.
In truth, he did not know all that much about repair work, but given Lynette's propensity for damaging various small devices, he had long gotten used to following his intuition to do some fixes here and there.
Unfortunately, he underestimated the complexity of the pumping equipment and difficulty of fixing it. While he succeeded in restoring it to normal operations, he remained at a complete loss as to whether he had solved the root problem or not, he could not tell.
But just as he was at his wit's end, a seemingly reticent young fellow stepped forth, examined, and restored the facilities, even expressing his apologies.
As it turned out, he was the one in charge of maintenance at the Hotel, and as he saw it, Lynette had been the unfortunate victim of his failure to detect and replace the aging components in the system in a timely manner.
Lyney, for his part, was far more impressed by the young fellow's skills than any talk of responsibility. He wanted to learn from the youth — if nothing else, this would make helping Lynette all the easier.
The youth was, for his part, no good at refusing, and thus did Lyney become his assistant in the Hotel's small workroom — and over time, he and this Freminet would become friends.
Lyney would prove unselfish in spending time on other Hotel residents, whether it be Freminet or others, but he would keep them company in comforting silence rather than ask them about their experiences.
In this he was guided by Lynette's succinct life advice: "No one needs self-satisfied concern."
In time, the residents became more willing to share some of their pasts with him, and Lyney would thus become better able to help them with their issues.
Freminet was somewhat perplexed by this, believing that Lyney, who was slowly becoming the core around which the Hotel spun, did not need to go this far.
Lyney joked that he had helped Freminet when they first met because he knew that his sister would cause further machine-related troubles down the line, and he was uncomfortable with that.
But at this point, there was no fooling Freminet with such words. Under his attentive gaze, Lyney could only tell him the truth.
"Because Lynette's my one and only family, I've learned from her how one should treat all members of their family."
Friendship level 4.
On the Hotel Bouffes d'ete's Founding Day, all the children were abustle, draping festive colors all over the place.
To the residents, outside festivals and events were cold and emotionless things, foreign elements in their lives, and only this dwelling could bring them true warmth.
Everyone worked in concert to execute Lyney's plan. Lynette had purchased large amounts of festive ornaments, and together with the other children, she strung up colored streamers and hung handwritten festive greetings.
Freminet was ensuring that the magical props would operate properly — Lyney had faith in his craftsmanship, so much so that Freminet was completely entrusted with all the magic props this time.
Lyney himself was the busiest of all — not only did he have to ascertain everyone's progress, but he was also laying the final groundwork for a grand, unique magic trick in secret.
And thus was the banquet successfully held with everyone's support. The children danced to the joyous music playing from the grand hall's phonograph and enjoyed delicious food — this was the birthday of no one in particular, but this was the day they all felt they had gained new lives.
The finale, of course, was Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet's Founding Day magic show. The magic box was at the center of the room, and all waited with bated breath.
To preserve the secret behind the magic trick, even Lynette and Freminet knew not what was within. But as the room darkened and all eyes turned to Lyney, standing as he was in front of the box, even the highly-experienced magician showed some rare signs of trepidation.
"Now, you might consider the following words an exaggeration, but the "present" I am about to present to you all is, without doubt, the most important one we have received in our lives."
The paper firecrackers burst, and the once-empty box suddenly opened by itself. The crowd cheered, amazed — then fell suddenly into stunned silence.
What stood onstage was no present — nay, this was the Hotel's manager, its owner, and their "Father."
Her image was one of unsmiling dignity, and thus, though she did not come by often, no one dared to horse around whenever she was around.
Surely, Lyney had gone completely mad to have her make her appearance in such a frivolous way.
Yet, upon seeing the crowd's reaction, "Father" did not snap at anyone, opining merely that Lyney had kept this secret perfectly, just as a magic show should, declaring it worthy of praise.
That night, the children and their "Father" delighted in the various desserts together, and she personally sliced a serving of cake for each of them, which she herself enjoyed some of as well.
Perhaps the most amazing aspect of Lyney's Founding Day magic show was its ability to have even "Father" lay down her heavy burden and enjoy a brief moment of familial love.
Friendship level 5.
Magic and secrets piled up at Lyney's feet, growing ever taller like a tower. Gazing down from the top at the people as they passed by in the world below, Lyney knew there was no going back.
Both the dazzling sleights of hand and the missions he would come to receive from Hotel Bouffes d'ete had made a habitual liar out of him.
And while lies could sometimes be useful for seizing an advantage, they were more often employed to keep more people from being dragged into trouble.
Lyney knew very well that once trust had collapsed, the scales of judgment would no longer remain impartial, and even noble goals would become twisted and thought of as evil.
As such, not revealing more than was absolutely necessary was prudent when working with others. More often than not, this makes things go more smoothly, with everyone getting the results they want.
But lies will not simply scatter on the wind, and Lyney must maintain this illusion with utmost care, all the while keeping his distance from those affected.
As so the tower extended towards the skies, until there would be no one to take his hand if he reached out, and even their visages blurred in his eyes.
Falsehood was Lyney's constant and only companion on the path that he walked, and this road was long and lonely — this he was always clear-minded about.
Everyone knew the brilliant "Great Magician Lyney," but they loved only the mystery, the romance, the unattainable nature. They knew no love for the heart that lay deeper within.
He felt he had no right to pour out his mind to others, and yet he must carry on with gritted teeth, for the price of a fall from such heights was more than he could bear.
Having played too many parts, even Lyney would sometimes find himself questioning who "he" really was.
His dreams often took him back to the tower, where his resting place at the pinnacle vantage would grow smaller and smaller, and with the fog of death they called "betrayal" extending all around, there was nowhere for him to go.
But just before he could plummet, a hand grabbed onto him — and from it, he felt a familiar warmth that drew his soul back into his body, steadying "him" within himself once more.
"Thank you, Lynette..."
The awakening youth mumbled to himself.
Friendship level 6.
While Hotel Bouffes d'ete's operations in Fontaine work toward a just cause, its methods can often be radical. Only the influence of "Father" and her control over the inner workings of the Court of Fontaine prevent any serious incidents from occurring.
There was once an official funded by Lyney who served in the Maison Gardiennage. This person provided both intel in support of the Hotel's operations and scrubbed clean the effects of some of the Hotel's clandestine actions.
These were actions that came with no small risk, but the official always performed them well, for he believed that the Fontaine of the present day needed someone like "Father" who could bypass the many layers of laws and regulations and take direct action.
Lyney once joked to him: "I'll be there if you ever need help, and if you're in danger, I'll come to rescue you... Well, don't expect too much of that last bit. Just stay on guard, alright?"
The official knew that this was Lyney's way of expressing concern, of course. Yet even words spoken in jest could prove prophetic later, and so they did — this official's deeds were eventually discovered, and on the brink of capture, he used an emergency communication device to send a message to Lyney.
Upon discovering the device, the Gardes who arrived at the scene mocked the official's naivete, claiming that the signal sent merely informed his compatriots to save themselves — no one would be stupid enough to try to save him.
The official's reply was also quite simple — even such an ending would have been fine for him, for he did not believe that his prior cooperation was the wrong decision.
But just as the Gardes were about to arrest the official, thick smoke began billowing forth from dispensers pre-planted nearby, and the official caught sight of a brilliant blaze—
The next moment, he was in the drink in the Fleuve Cendre, and was rescued by Freminet.
It was said that the Gardes spent a great deal of time chasing after the skyborne flame-trail, believing that the criminal must have used some flying machine to flee the scene, only to discover later naught but wood dressed in clothes, affixed to a glider.
In truth, Lyney had earlier used this device to draw the Gardes' attention away before getting the official out of his predicament.
The official admitted that he had not had high hopes when pressing the device. Magicians were untrustworthy, after all — but still, he had chosen to gamble on that tiny chance.
"Haha. Well, it is indeed a gamble to place your trust in others."
"But don't worry. Magicians might be full of hot air, but we will never betray the expectations of our audience."
Friendship level 4: Rosseland.
There is a special entity amongst the cats adopted by Lyney and Lynette, and its name is "Rosseland."
Every cat in the Hotel has its own territory, but Rosseland has a special affinity for Lyney's hat.
A hat is a magician's most important prop, and each time Lyney must use it, he must first chase Rosseland out — a difficult affair when its displeased meows in response are so heartrending, especially to siblings like Lyney and Lynette, who themselves once struggled to find a home.
Thus the siblings began their search for a replacement, only to be met by refusal each time, no matter how lovely the new home — indeed, Rosseland would not even give them a second glance.
Lyney even specially commissioned an identical hat, thinking that this might put an end to the cat's choosiness, only for Rosseland to lay claim that new hat also, becoming aggrieved no matter which was whisked away.
But this was no feline tyranny. Indeed, Rosseland's requests were not terribly excessive. After much thought, Lyney eventually came up with a solution — to incorporate the cat into his magic shows.
He and Lynette constructed a little puppet inside the hat that would normally serve as Rosseland's cushion. During performances, Rosseland would burrow inside the puppet, causing it to jink this way and that in a mischievous and adorable manner.
And as it turned out, Rosseland was not at all shy — indeed, it greatly enjoyed its new job. Perhaps the spotlight brought it much enjoyment indeed, for it would never prove quite so predisposed to exclusive ownership again, even when it had to temporarily leave its nest when off-stage.
During one of his shows, Lyney once made a rare error, having left a card he needed to produce on-stage backstage.
With all eyes on him, he had mere seconds to think of a way to save the situation while maintaining his easy-going demeanor.
But to his surprise, there was an unexpected weight in his hovering hat — it should have been empty, but Rosseland had somehow found its way inside.
Out came the puppet, and out with it came the card Lyney had needed, to the instantaneous applause of all. Lyney heaved a sigh of relief, but he was also quite shocked, in truth.
Some thought was put into this matter — but Lyney could only conclude that Rosseland had, influenced by the twins as it was, also mastered the art of the magical performance somehow.
Friendship level 6: vision.
After Lynette gained the favor of the gods, the missions she had to undertake grew more dangerous and difficult.
Only Vision-wielders like Lynette could fulfill the most dangerous missions while remaining completely anonymous, and the twins began to operate separately more often as a result.
Lyney found himself unable to adapt to this. Not only had the siblings been together since childhood, but he knew that he was not the only one who felt disturbed by this split.
He still desired to be beside her, lending her all the help he could — this was his non-negotiable desire.
Knowing his desire for power was no longer pure, Lyney concluded that he had become undeserving of divine favor. Yet he still desired a means to bridge the vast gulf in strength between him and his sister, which he did not possess. Unless...
To this end, he solemnly sought out "Father," expressing his belief that he needed the mysterious and perilous might of a Delusion to operate alongside his sister.
"Father" was silent for a long while, till at last two slanted crosses pinned him in place with a wrath rarely shown to the children of the Hotel, her gaze seeming to pierce his very soul.
"And would Lynette want you to do this?"
Her simple yet powerful question cut through the strings that bound his heart, and in a daze, his sister's words once more reverberated in his ears.
"No one needs self-satisfied concern."
Lyney did not need to ask his sister to know that she would never accept his desire to stay by her side with the use of a Delusion. It was only then that he realized the absurdity of his wish.
"Father" stood up and left, but not before reminding him that this was not the first time he had lacked power, but that he had found an answer before.
Lyney would lock himself in his room, trying to digest the reasoning behind the words "Father" had left him with. When he and his sister had been out on the streets, the answer he had found then had been "magic." What, then, would the answer be now?
Lyney found the dossiers for all the missions Lynette had taken up during this period, carefully analyzing the process of each one and modeling his sister's every action.
Was it really necessary to pass through this dangerous valley to get close to a target?
Was it really a must to leap into such a swift river to flee the scene?
No, this was just the Vision's light covering her.
Thus did Lyney start to make comprehensive plans for his sister's missions, using his understanding of her to design the most suitable routes, make the most practical tools, and choose the best rendezvous points.
The pure desire to protect one's family would not be moved, gods' favor or no.
But even the best laid plans of mice and men may go awry. After conducting dozens of successful missions, the children of the Hotel were caught up in a betrayal, and as a result, Lynette's movements were exposed.
Before the siblings was a towering cliff, just like the night when Lynette had gained her Vision — but this time, it was Lyney's turn to reverse their fortunes in a moment of crisis.
He opened his emergency paraglider, and grabbing her, threw himself off the edge. But their pursuers followed, raining gunfire down on them.
Lyney twisted this way and that, avoiding many a shot, but still the glider was punctured in several spots. Unable to maintain balance, they began to plummet downward towards the embrace of the ground below.
Still, Lyney grit his teeth and refused to despair — should fate itself conspire to refute the answer he had come up with to protect his family, he would defy it to the end.
Their pursuers began to snicker, knowing that a fall at such speeds would be fatal — only to have a flame light up the skies, pushing the stricken glider toward a fast-flowing river nearby.
The power of Pyro changed the direction of their fall, while Anemo defended them from harm — and thus did the twin lights intertwine and spread under the moonlight, fading slowly like the applause that fills the stage during a curtain call.
Lyney did not guess at the meaning of the shining Vision he saw in his hand. The answer was, after all, no longer important.
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thenormaltrainer · 24 days ago
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Hello!
My name is Nirvana、 at least、 that‵s what you‵ll be calling me. You can also use they/them for me、 unless you know me personally. In reality、 though、 I don‵t care. ♪
I attend BBA、 so if you wonder why I followed you、 it‵s probably because of that. I do battle、 but nobody will see my team、 not on here.
I also suffered an extreme concussion a few years ago、 so my memory may still be weird!
If you ever want a shiny Pokémon、 let me know、 because I have a few of them、 hehe!
-🕊️
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hello! welcome to the ooc section of this blog... please, read it through before interacting! don't worry, as much text as there is, there are brief summaries.
about the mun/mod!
my name is adon! of course, you could refer to me as adonciant or guy either. i dont mind! i go by he/him only, but if you want to use any neopronouns, feel free. i am a minor! my main is @adonciant, which is where likes and follows will come from. of course, all my rp blogs are also listed in my pinned on main!
when a post is signed off with ~🎱, that means its me speaking. it will always be paired with ooc post
─ⵌ call me adon, he/him! main is @adonciant! ~🎱 is muns signoff
interaction!
pelipper mail/unmail/malice: allowed!
musharna mail/malice: allowed!
mystery gifts: allowed!
magic anon: allowed!
in-character anon hate: allowed!
ooc/questions: allowed!
anyone is allowed to interact with my blogs! fallers, eeby deebys, hybrids, sapients, self-inserts, ocs, and in-game characters are all very welcomed!
if you ever want to start a roleplay, it's best to discuss it with me first within the blogs dms, unless i already allowed an offscreen post.
note: if i dont get around to an ask, never take it personally! i will always read any asks i get, but i just may not respond if i dont find it necessary.
─ⵌ all interaction from all blogs are allowed, but discuss offscreen roleplays with me beforehand. i may not be able to get around to your ask, but don't take it personally!
boundaries/notices
─the mod is a minor, and the character is 17! slightly suggestive asks are fine, but never should it come close to nsfw.
─if you ever want to establish a connection between our characters, or want to plan events with yours involved, im always open for it! just dm me on either discord [username is adonciant] or on tumblr itself. i will be more than willing to hear your ideas and see what we can do!
─often times, i will do long threads of interaction. i like to reblog back and interact, but if you ever want me to stop without a sign in the roleplay itself for it to end, please tell me! alongside this, my threads do not get tagged with anything.
─there are a few content warnings to this blog. to roughly list, hospitalization, hallucinations, and general abuse/violence. this list is always subject to change, so stay aware. any triggering topics are tagged with associated tags ('topic' tw)
─ⵌ slighty suggestive asks are allowed, but nsfw is never allowed, always try to contact me if you want to establish connections or events, and heed the warnings! [you will need to read over the warnings.]
extra notes
i am 100% truthful when i say this is NOT a nagito komaeda faller. i drew him without any correlation to nagito and it was only brought to my attention by one of my friends that he looked like nagito. to me this was HILARIOUS and i had to continue the bit. this is a REGULAR STUDENT that is NOT a faller. the fact his name is nagito is because i flipped a coin. but please any asks relating to nagito is funny as fuck
nirvana is an online persona. his name is not actually nirvana、 nor does he actually go by they/them. his name is nagito khan、 goes by he/him
he also keeps his team a secret! due to the entire online persona thing、 he tries to keep his identity a secret as well as he can!
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itsdappleagain · 2 years ago
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ALRIGHT EVERYBODY LETS GET GUSSIED UP FOR THE LUCKY CAT CAPER!!!!
this is SUCH a solid episode. i love this one as well- the outfits, the slapstick, the action. all really good!! alrighty
today's post title pictures are some of my own, from my trip to san fran a few years back!! I'll share some of my favs- I visited or photographed every major caper location on the trip!!
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there's me in chinatown, the golden gate bridge, alcatrez, fisherman's wharf and the pier, and good old karl himself!
alrighty- enough pictures. sorry for the long intro! notes under the cut as always :)
YEAHHH THE FLASHBACK TO CARMEN'S FINAL,,, YEAH. i forgot the episode opened like this tbh. i know everyone and their mother has ALSO pointed out that this scene is bathed in red light so i will AGAIN not beat a dead horse but just yes. color theory <3
i love the tiny little oh shit moment on shadowsan's face. like he hadnt quite realized how good she was
GOD THIS GETS SO BRUTAL he's pawing her around like a cat with a pompom
YEAH THE WAY SHE JUST GETS. DESPERATE AS THE FIGHT GOES
her waking up from the nightmare with that culmination of stress. the timer going off correlating with the phone. still being half in the dream when she talks to player and then realizing when he starts talking to her...
this is such a human moment for carmen i love it so so much. she's failed. she is tired, having nightmares, maybe has a headache. she's making mistakes and she's a little bit out of it, she's stiff from sleeping....she's a PERSON and i LOVE IT SO MUCH
or in much less eloquent terms SLEEBY CARMEN <3333
i love the setup for next episode here. its not overbearing; it doesnt feel like a setup episode but it IS and it hints at shadowsan's true motives almost right off the bat
the sigh and "i don't know" is weirdly smooth animation i love it
that pickpocket is soo smooottthh
also i have to know what carmen was doing in san francisco the night before that a. gave her a headache when she woke up and b. made her so tired that she just dropped her pants on the floor and passed out. because it seems to me like carmen sandiego got drunk and had a great time last night.
also. she has just woken up and is picking an outfit for a NIGHTTIME CHARITY GALA. SHE SLEPT IN SO LATE HEHHSHAHJ their sleep schedules are all so bad
carmen looks great in that shot where she opens the curtains sorry not sorry
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carmen's hotel is just outside the transamerica pyramid!
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in fact it is quite reasonable to assume that she was staying at the hilton. i have solved the mystery that no one asked me to solve
karl <333
cable cars weren't running when i visited sf </3 i was heartbroken
FREE KARL
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i dont know look at her reflection
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carmens feet are shaped like shoes and i dont know how to feel about that. why is her heel a heel
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this dress was the most spectacular thing they ever put her in and the amount of time she wore it was criminally short
they also should have put her in a white dress shirt more often??? hello??? i see it in the closet??? put her in a fucking suit once in a while....that waitress getup in tsonts was THE SHIT
SHE LOOKS STUNNIIINGGGGGGG IN THAT DRESS
i also love that she's thinking about zack for the car, then player for the stamp. her writing is so good this episode...at the start at least
ten million cents, she chuckles, as if the stamp wouldn't still be worth a hundred thousand dollars
i love how casually she is willing to spend 10 million VILEBucks
i love how they call her the generous lady in red too- like they arent expecting this room to be able to afford a ten million dollar stamp and BID on it
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L O O K AT THAT DRESS GOD ITS SO GOOD. THE STRAPLESS THE CHOKER THE ELBOW GLOVES THE CLUTCH PURSE AUGHHH ITS SO GOOD I NEED TO SEE IT MORE
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THE CONNECTOR IN THE BACK? THE FANCY COMM EARRINGS? CHEFS KISS
chase and carmen had the exact same smirk when they saw the other in the fog i know it
i love their dynamic actually they are so funny together. egypt in season 4 highlights it so well but also. like here. the teasing the banter chase taking everything way too seriously in comparison to carmen treating him like a joke
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its close to the cigarette aesthetic, to be honest, and it does not cause lung cancer. so this tiny flashlight i salute you for being hot
CHASE AND JUST TRYING TO GRAB HER DSJHKJWGD
THE SHOE IS SO FUCKING FUNNY AJHKJDFH IT NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH
poor carmen running around barefoot in the fog now
juliump scare
they stick those where in the world/where on earth references in there every opportunity they can with chase <3
julia is so short wheeze
MIP MIP MIP
that is for sure a bun i am not sure how mime bomb's beret made that shape
this episode is just chase getting jumpscared
he shoes mb away like a stray cat wheeze
the signed/mimed description of carmen is so on point i love mime bomb
go shadowsan go. send tigress <333 i love that he knows carmen so well even now that he knows she would enjoy one-upping tigress on this again
the "betrayed us and took a new name" thing from brunt is. carmen is transgender and brunt is the phobic about it i dont know it reads heavily okay
maelstrom and his democracy
FINE FINE SEND WHOMEVER
brunt has the cleaners on telepathic speed dial damn
the absolute muscles of steel mime bomb must have to sit in midair like that holy fuck
vile's lucky cat. meow. cat girl hand
carmen trying to watch subtly and stay hidden. girlie those are your opposite of strongsuits. weaksuits
mime bomb moves so cartoonishly and i love that. yes this is a cartoon. but. he is more of a cartoon
the music timing with carmen's face as she realizes its a shop FULL of lucky cats is so good
ILL TAKE THE TCHOTCHKE
carmen needs to stop saying "or what? you'll (insert bad thing here)" because the person she's saying that too ALWAYS says "yes exactly that"
luck cat store owner voiced by julia's va beloved. deserved better. glad she got cash in the end even if carmen was an aloof little prick about it and didn't even apologize
WE HAVE OTHERS YOU KNOW im so sorry lucky cat shop lady you deserved better
bait and switch
"keep the change" okay you still destroyed a shitload of her beautiful statues and didn't even help her clean it up. didn't apologize or. look at her. but fine
mime bomb. thats it thats the post
see the comical shifty look around is so fucking funnyyy
MIME BOMB COULD NOT BE MORE SUSPICIOUS IF HE TRIED HE'S SO FUNNY
the running in place gag never gets old
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HFDJSFGDS
carmen just being half surprised and half impressed that they arrested mime bomb. yeah
also her just standing blatantly on the rooftop and NO ONE notices her wheeze
JULIA LISTING OFF ALL OF HIS MISHAPS IS SO FUNNY
the graffiti just being giant x's and o's dhfjdasg
mime bomb. is skrunkly
chase thats how you get sued you have to list the miranda rights in murica
julia <333 yes. yes yes yes
i gotta know what mime bomb was signing that made chase interpret "an elephant giving you a pedicure while spreading cheese on a baguette on Bastille day"
julia immediately giving a perfect translation. they are so funny
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the expressiveness of chase and mime bomb combined makes for some GOLDEN freeze frames
julia shielding her mouth the wrong way. good job girlie. you tried. he can still see everything youre saying though
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chase's neck disconnects from his head!
considering chase and julia never showed any form of identification mime bomb could hypothetically press charges for kidnapping
MIME BOMB OFFERING THE FLOWER AND THEN CHUCKING IT WHEN TIGRESS GETS ANNOYED WITH HIM IS JUST. HIS ANIMATION AND CHARACTER ACTING ARE SO GOOD
all of 26 cents buys mime bomb out
i like julia's little lean on the wharf railing. she's usually just sitting or standing up straight its cool to see her do something
this chase scene is so goood
btw unrelated but this girl is my favorite background extra?? they use her in a TON of bg scenes so. pointing her out to you so that you will notice her forever in other scenes
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poor chase. his poor coat. his voice is screaming I LOVED THAT COAT from the future
hehheshgdh carmen is so frustrated that it happened AGAIN with tigress and the stupid thing in the pocket wheeze
HES SO HEARTBROKENKDJSDGFDSG
THE LAMP POST TRANSITIONS BETWEEN EVERYONE RUNNING ARE MY FAAAVORITE I LOVE THOSE
SHE JUST DUMPS THAT GUY OUT OF THE CAR LMAOO
zack using a lil racing metaphor!!! because!! yeah!!!!
this chase scene is so fucking good with all the cars GOD the music and driving through san francisco and everything AUGH
what if the car had just hit chase and he went flying
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I AM NOT INVITING YOU ALONG! I CANNOT BE SLOWED DOWN BY "CAUTION WORDS"
chase is so funny he really sets himself up to fail
i feel bad for julia in this one though. you can see the buildup to next episode when she finally yells at him. shes fucking tired of this shit and yes she should be
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carmen is your mom when you go 5 miles above the speed limit
she's one to talk, obviously, seeing as one of the first things she ever did in zack and ivy's presence was run a red light, almost cause an accident, and then fly into an open construction pit, ruining the car she stole from them
the concern in carmen's voice as she attempts to get zack to not crash into a building in an attempt to go up the wall
PLS CARMEN JUST GOES FLYING WHEN THEY GO OVER THOSE HILLS
the little sideyes the other two faculty give when shadowsan and brunt are squabbling shdshgfsdgh
i got to bike across the golden gate bridge it was super cool
THE WOMAN BEAMS HERSELF FROM A FOUNTAIN PEN, SHE CAN DO ANYTHING. well its some kind of respect women juice. maybe not the right kind though
the terror in julia's tone after watching chase not look at the road for a solid minute
annnnd there he goes
julia being done with his shit is so funny i love her
go sheena. scaling the whole ass bridge with her fingertips alone
carmen again sacrificing politeness and basic human decency for a quip </3 oh well
i love that cs color theory post thats like. the golden gate bridge is the epicenter of carmen's power and tigress was a fool for challenging her there
wow look its carmen becoming distracted and disadvantaged by valuable objects people throw at her again
not sheena showing carmen where she put the stamp too. nice job tigress
this showdown is pretty cool
carmen is SO efficient about it she just slides and boom its over. AND she steals the phone
she does look pretty awesome holding the stamp with two fingers though. god
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STEALING THE PHONE WAS SUCH A POWER MOVE I LOVE THAT
plus she outed him in front off the whole faculty which is only funny if you dont know what happens next lmaoo
stamp of approval. laugh
tigress just sadly sitting there is also very funny
AND JULIA DRAGGING CHASE OUT OF THE WATERNDSDV
HERE WE GO TRANSITION SENTENCEEE
GO GET HIM!!!!!
WOW i can't believe this Saturday is already going to be the season finale. I LOVE the french connections caper so I am VERY excited for the next episode!! hopefully I won't get so far behind this time. to be fair I was doing state testing and presentations and shit but hopefully the worst of that is over.
alrighty- until next time for the chase dies and then carmen dies caper!!
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houndsoul · 7 months ago
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"WHAT IS GALLAGHER?" — A BIG FAT META POST
spoilers for 2.1 as well as speculation on story leaks! please be warned!
HI. SO. what really sparked my interest in gallagher was figuring out just what his deal is—i was already drawn to him because of his design, but the mystery surrounding him really sealed the deal for me. as such, i wanted to outline a few of the theories i have surrounding gallagher and what he is exactly.
to begin with, i fully believe the sentiments and feelings of the individual behind gallagher are real. this individual's history with the watchmaker, with penacony, with the family—all of these things have actually happened. gallagher is a vessel for these emotions. he may not be a real person, but everything else concerning his selfhood (his attitudes, his beliefs) are all there. with that established, i also want to say that i believe the individual behind gallagher has no physical form. it's heavily implied that gallagher is far older than he seems, but it's also stated that he stole most of his physical traits from other existing family members. i don't doubt that a human could physically augment themselves like that, but that's exactly my thing—i don't believe gallagher is human.
well if he isn't human, what is he then?
this is where my theory starts to get a bit crazy... so bear with me
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y'all: so you're saying gallagher is a JELLYFISH?
erm. yes! i think? maybe? hear me out:
gallagher has a deep connection with the watchmaker mikhail, right? firefly also mentions that she believes the watchmaker may have been a nameless—this is further backed by gallagher mentioning the nameless as one of the factions that fought alongside hanuenue to free the prison that would go on to be penacony, and the watchmaker supposedly being one of these people. (but then again, how much can we trust gallagher's historical account when he's a follower of enigmata.... erm... anyways!)
there is further evidence linking the watchmaker with the enigmata: consider this readable found in the dewlight pavillion:
"We hypothesize that the Watchmaker possesses the ability to conceal his appearance on a memory level, an ability often associated with Enigmata. Therefore, there might be external forces supporting the Watchmaker."
(note: i also believe this concealing ability is the same one gallagher uses to maintain his false appearance but i digress)
so what do we have so far? the watchmaker is likely a nameless who is linked up with the enigmata. from the story description of the curio "jellyfish on a staircase," we know that a nameless once encountered it and proclaimed that "the jellyfish will activate the cognition regions within the gray matter of one's brain — a vast place beyond the fathoming of mortal minds."
a vast place beyond the fathoming of mortal minds... perhaps like a sprawling utopian dreamscape?
do you see where i'm going with this?
i believe gallagher helped the watchmaker turn penacony into the place it is now. i believe he was the one that opened the watchmaker's eyes to the possibility of a dreamscape. this is why he seems to mourn not just the loss of the watchmaker, but the penacony he used to know.
there's more evidence of this but i'm just going to put in a big fat spoiler buffer since it contains leaked content and idt everyone wants to see that
2.2 STORY LEAK SPOILERS AHEAD:
SCROLL ALL THE WAY TO THE END IF YOU DON'T WANNA SEE
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okay! hi. if you're here then you're okay with leaks LOL anyways here:
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there is supposedly a place in 2.2 called the "dreamflux reef" that gallagher activated. it is described as the "soaring dreamscape unfettered by the family's shackles." now, i understand leaks must be taken with a massive grain of salt, but assuming this is true then it lines up pretty well with what i think of him. he has had an active hand in creating the dreamscape, he doesn't like what the family has done to it, and he's using Death as a means to take them here. this is further proof of his connection to the history of penacony.
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WAHAHA
:3 DON'T GET SPOILED
KEEP SCROLLING PAST IF YOU DON'T WANNA GET SPOILED
OOH YOU DON'T WANNA GET SPOILED SO BAD
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so the conclusion is: gallagher is a follower of enigmata who helped the watchmaker activate the dreamscape and turn penacony into what it is—he has also remained loyal to the watchmaker throughout all this time. he is likely very old (old enough to have been there when penacony became penacony, at least) and powerful enough to do things such as activate parts of the dreamscape and control memetic entities like something unto death.
i'm aware these things can change! and that once we get new, official info, my theories may well be tossed into the garbage. but this is what i see of him now, based on the stuff i know and the stuff that i've seen others post. does this solve the mystery of who gallagher is? not exactly... but i think it's a good framework to begin with. speculating on his history helps inform me on why he acts the way he does...
and besides... i don't think he minds being a mystery at all :3
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