#i feel pretty tired now
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When your boyrfren is a morning person.
(Idk if Connie's not a morning person, but it'd be funny if she isn't.)
Connie doodles (and a Steven!)
#When you wake up already feeling tired 😭#Steven gave her a new blade again.#Pretty knife = Happy wife#Oh my gosh I actually finished a commission today. I;m behind again I only got six hours to draw this week TT-TT But at least I can#sleep early tonight I can finally catch up with my sleep hours#Lol I just realized Connie's new clothes make her look like an overachieving nerd XD#Imagine if she still wears her big round nerd glasses. 'Erm actually it's a [insert what specifically the type of dagger she has now]☝🤓#connverse#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Quartz Universe#Ah nerdcore fashion young adult Connie would be amazing 🤩 . I already headcanon she'd be a more scruffy one tho. 🤔 Guess#that's another alternative style to go off of 🤷♀️#Steven Universe#He gonna hit her up with the 'Hello morning glory! ☀️🥰😘🥰💕' and Connie be looking like a nest#SU#my shiz#animated gif
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(OC Lore and design time!)
(it got longer again ... sorry ... idk how to make things short, i just need to talk, but i guess if you can read the written stuff in the pic thats the barest bare bones of what i wrote here)
i was asked what new lore story stuff i had thought about that made me sad which i mentioned a bit ago, and while that is too hard to explain given all the missing context i thought i could at least talk about lore having to do with it :D
so, (Lord) Eadrya is one of my fav OCs (big blue lad, here a rough sketch in humanoid form) they are both one of if not THE most powerful demon alive and the most battle trained;
at the mid point of the story the demon world gets invaded by the celestials (the angel inspired things i talked about in the previous lore post with Xaror) and Shargon, as the king, should be their first and only frontline, but at this point his life is only being sustained by maschinery after being mortally wounded, he cannot fight (he realizes what is going on, rips himself off the maschinery to get at least his youngest child to safety, barely managing it before dying- the guardian, the demons god, takes over his body to attempt to fight against the celestials but cant keep itself alive long enough since its host is already dead) Eadrya takes the role of the frontline fighter (despite being very full of themselves and aggressive they care about their 'job' of protecting their own, also giving them the chance to show off just how strong they are); the fight was going well for them all things considered, but when the guardian activates it drains the power of all elemental lords (which Eadrya is one of, and since they have the most strength it also takes the most from them), so much so that they lose the fight and suffer deadly wounds (the worst being a spear through the chest made of a material that grows hard, root-like formations when in contact with demonic blood like a fungus but worse, also stopping any self healing processes) after the guardian falls apart it creates a huge shockwave of energy that stuns every living thing within a certain distance and possibly more-
Eadrya (in true demon form, so like a blue whale in size at least) was likely taken through an active gateway to the human world in a large tidal wave also created by the guardians fall; they wash up in the harbor of a small secluded village, the head of which is 'lady 13'; although never having seen a demon before and everyone being afraid (largely thinking its a strange hurt animal, only she suspected otherwise), they still gather all villagers to pull out the celestial spear, which is diffcult and brutal given that its already taken root, but the village lacked both knowledge and means to help any other way- doing so damaged their heart which is how they were able to collect samples of all three demonic blood types ('normal' -red like humans-, energy -essentially purely magic- and heartblood -highly concentrated energy only found within the heart of a demon and the only one to contain genetic material) (this is the start of Eadryas character arc, having to deal with the fact that their world is likely destroyed, them failing what they didnt think they could fail, having lost a battle so badly (even if not really their fault) for the first time and not knowing if literally anyone else has survived .. also being now stuck in the human world, which they dont like)
Lady 13 (placeholder name? stands for experiment 13) is a human that was tricked by demon hunters to enroll into a series of experiments trying to create hybrids of demons and humans, which they hoped would be powerful and easily controllable tools for their endeavours, though the two are inherently not compatible, they tried grafting body parts of demons on humans to make them compatible- all experiments failed except for her, more or less, though she never got to see the hybrid she carried and was then told it had died too, they threw her out believing she wouldnt survive much longer either and all such experiments were cancelled due to the high cost of human life, research material (demons are still rare) and upkeep with no successful results Lady 13 survived though (perhaps even via the pirates picking her up?) and she ended up living in said small village far away, hiding her half demonic body, though most know there soemthing 'wrong' with her (her being this tall when it doesnt fit the rest for one), only few know the full extent; she enjoys the life she has now, perhaps on the more poor side but safer and more loved than ever before; she largely lead the efforts to try and help Eadrya when they ended up in the harbor, though there wasnt that much anyone could do it was still enough- they leave immediately after waking up, but return after really having nowhere to go and struggling to deal with everything that has happened; over time (probably years) they start to open up towards the people there (though not .. very much) enough to get rather close with Lady 13 too- she actually falls madly in love but after Eadrya (extremely aro/ace) rejects all her attempts quite clearly she respects their boundaries
However, after hearing news of potential demon sightings Eadrya decides to leave in hopes of not being the last demon left after all; Lady 13 then decides to reveal her secret to them (though hearing and seeing what lengths hunters would go to for their experiments makes them absolutely seething with rage- she insists on not being out for revenge) and asks if they would be willing to donate a small amount of heartblood; shes always wanted to be a mother but is now incompatible with humans too- through things she picked up back at the experiments facillity, hers and her doctors research she is sure that is all that is needed, she dares to ask since she does not know when, if ever, she will meet another demon, much less one she could actually trust enough for this though Eadrya hesitates (why would she want to go through the same thing again that didnt work and threatened her life, if it does work, do they want to be involved with any of this? what if hunters find out it worked after all?) but after her ensuring that they would have no part in it other than giving up a little blood and would not be considered a parent in any way, nor made responsible for anything that might happen to her, but considering it all in the end they agree to it
only for her to reveal shes had a small bottle of it already, along with multiple samples of the other types, which she collected when Eadrya was bleeding out into the harbor not knowing if they will survive, though not wanting to make use of it without their consent either way (they are actuallly rather touched by this)
alot later the main group returns here and it turns out to have worked (though she is unable to walk/bedridden for a long while bc it did alot of damage to her body, which can heal since its demons parts, but only really slowly bc she does not have a full functioning system and no demonic blood of her own -she uses the other samples for the healing process-) though its a little awkward to explain, especially considering that 13.1 took alot after Eadrya xD (their theory as to why it worked so "well" that time is that even though the sample was already taken, them giving their consent for it still made it less likely to be rejected; demons dont need partners to have offspring, and all can do it, they just have to decide to- so them agreeing to it, even though its long been outside their body, still had an effect on the blood sample)
#ganondoodles#art#ocs#original art#oc lore#demons#monsters#WHY does writing things liek this take me so long#i spent two hours again on this and im falling asleep as we speak bc its almost 2 am#ANYWAY this was alot again ... sorry#but its a relatively new storyline that i have been afraid of telling#since it touches on things im afraid might come across wrong and uses themes im a lil uncomfy with#but i found it interesting ... and works well with eadrya as a character bc it challenges alot about them#yes im wrote and mean this genuinely#i would have made the cut from her human body to the demon parts more smooth ... but this hard cut is the point#so that she looks rather normal on the upper part and can hide the rest#thoguh im unsure about the color scheme and if maybe i should be more creative with the demons parts#then again its largely just legs lol#if anyone actually reads this ........ i hope it comes across correctly#i like to use darker and more mature themes but am riddled with anxiety over how it will be understood#im gonna work on zelda comic stuff again now .. sorry for all the oc spam#but if there are questions PLEASE feel free to ask im pretty sure i have answers to almosst anything?#also i havent thought of a name for her or the kid .. though im starting to like lady 13#13.1 wont do as a name though poor kid deserves a proper name after already being a weird hybrid that shouldnt exist#either way ... going to bed now GOODNIGHT q-q#(any typos are excused by me being deadly tired ok)
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burn my dread 💀💙
[redraw of sorts of official art, the og under the cut]
#persona 3#persona#p3#makoto yuki#minato arisato#persona 3 protagonist#yukari takeba#junpei iori#p3 thanatos#thanatos#sort of#persona 3 art#persona fanart#persona 3 fanart#HAPPY REALLY LATE ANNIVERSARY P3#originally i didn't plan on drawing anything but i changed my mind#p3 is just really important to me so it felt wrong not to celebrate it some way#this took longer than i thought though#even looking at it now perspective feels a bit off#i did take some libertys and draw thanatos is his death form instead of his persona one#i thought it would look cool and would be easier (not rlly)#i was also debating putting them in their reload equipment but this is the og games anniversary so i opted not to#i also tried out lineless and i think it looks pretty good#all of this to say im tired#and my files crashed when i was almost done which was annoying#ok gn! i promise ill draw more i already have something else cooking!#minnidraws#persona 3 fes#p3 fes
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This bralette is so cute ✨
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
#I feel so weak and tired and like a waste of space 😭 but we stay sexy.#Soft and lacey tiddies for you on this fine Tuesday ✨#satans knitwear#alt pinup#pinup girl#pretty lingerie#White lace lingerie#cheeky#My gif to you#Any tips or treats would be massively helpful right now and unbelievably appreciated 💕
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It's been some pretty long few weeks
-> More Outer Wilds Art!
#outer wilds#time buddies#i've had a lot of work these past weeks and didn't have any energy or inspiration to draw#i've done a few doodles here and there but i've been feeling pretty exhausted to do anything else#i've got a lot of projets I wanna do (requests and some comics mainly)#but oof#so for now have this quick thing#I know this isn't the first time I draw this concept#(a tired hatcling resting with gabbro)#but listen I love this dynamic so two cakes am I right#this was an excuse to just make myself doodle anything anyways#there is something that brings me so much warmth about having someone you feel comfortable enought with that you can just#rest#anyways this won't be the last time you see this concept trust me
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some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace
extras below the cut
sketch
closeups on my favorite panels
bonus: adios
#doodles#kingdom hearts#roxas#axel#olette#aromantic#asexual#aroace#do i tag pence. hes in the background of one panel#ehhhh sorry pence no tag for you#also not tagging soriku and namixi#i mean by the logic of 'theyre in one panel so i wont tag them' i also shouldnt tag axel but. he has dialogue so#anyways i have a very irrational love of olette whenever i need a random side character in a kh comic? olette#i think she uses webmd. anyways im done talking about olette#so let me clarify about this comic#im aroace. this is all just things ive thought before#im not saying in any way these thoughts are real. theyre just thoughts#thats why it ends with 'but there isnt. its just me.' there IS nothing wrong with being aroace. even if it feels like it sometimes#im not trying to send a message im just trying to express a feeling ive had for a while#anyways. the aroace community is super positive and i like that. but not everything i feel about it is that positive#sometimes it feels like im missing something yknow#this comic seems like its about roxas. but its about me. congrats youve been fooled#drafted something similar to this for aro week but didnt finish it in time so this is spiritually part of asaw 2024#btw sorry im not posting as many drawings lately#schools kinda stressful im pretty tired and busy most the time#i am throwing this drawing to you like a slab of meat to a pack of hungry dogs. take this meager ration in these trying times#alright i think thats it bye now
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do you think that now's the time you should let go?
#these actually turned out pretty good for what it’s worth#i decided to do a slightly more simplistic/less realistically rendered style because um#i don’t feel like doing more than that with any bllk stuff right now 💀#too tired and unmotivated for that so we settle for this instead#plus it gives me something new to mess with so#bllk#blue lock#bllk fanart#bllk art#blue lock fanart#blue lock art#isaness#nessagi#isaness fanart#kainess#kainess fanart#nesskai#alexis ness#ness alexis#michael kaiser#kaiser michael#yoichi isagi#isagi yoichi#my artwork
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why are you determined to make this joke work sir
middle-aged male tourist at the museum, during a discussion about the cafe nearby and how I recommend their hot chocolate: what's your last name?
me, thinking he's having trouble reading my name tag: oh, it's Surname
him: is that Irish?
me: well, it can be short for Longer Irish Name Containing Surname, but for my family it's English from-
him: if you were Irish, we'd know what was in that hot chocolate! haha! ;)
me: ...ah. well, I have to go relieve my colleague upstairs now, so enjoy the rest of your day!
him, still in tones of high jocularity: what about your boss? I bet he's Irish! what's his last name?
me: ooookay have a nice day bye!
#museums#museum work#I actually AM of Irish descent along with many other sub-ethnicities of White Person#like fifth-generation so pretty standard for a lot of Americans#obviously I don't claim any sort of Irish identity; we assimilated hard#but I feel like anything would have counted for this asshole#(I'm not like Offended- I have no grounds to be; I'm not Irish)#(I just think it's a tired joke)#(also there are areas here even now where you WILL get punched for it. just saying)
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Digital Circus AMA Notes
Digital Circus is getting a season 1 at some point!!!!
#webcore aesthetic board for the series design
Pomni was going to be a frog originally. 🐸
90s toys Zooble inspo
Caine is an antagonist, but not by active choice, he doesn't know he's not helping. He doesn't feel a whole spectrum of human emotions (he's an AI).
"Caine canonically just lets things happen if he thinks it's funny."
Characters eat like Chao in Chao garden in Sonic. The characters can eat the food, but they can't digest it.
Jax's favorite food is spaghetti.
Pomni likes salmon.
Q "Was the ending a 'Last Supper' reference?" A "in a very superficial kinda way yeah." Religious stuff is sometimes just used for the funny.
Gooseworx tumblr sketches MAY or MAY NOT be canon to the series, so it's up in the air for every single one.
People can abstract from feeling too much pain if it breaks their mind from it being too much. Characters feel pain from things, but not as intensely as they would in real life.
Zooble is gonna swap parts every episode (implying they have spare parts) except their body & head.
Jax chose his own name & gooseworx likes to think he chose Gangle's name.
Ragatha was named "Emmy" originally.
They (the cast of characters trapped in the circus) can't change their clothes but Caine can. It's part of their skin sorta kinda.
There's empty space under Pomni's hat because video game model physics.
Spamton was partially inspo for Caine, Caine's VA did Spamton dubs.
Gangle only has 2 masks. Why's it (her hapiness mask) break all the time? Mental state, but the "real her" is "harder to break."
Kaumfo was gonna be part of the main cast originally before Jax.
Kaufmo's model has nothing below the waist at this time, but was made for that promotional image on twitter.
Q "What kinda person was Kaufmo?" A "He was the same as Ragatha in a sense, goofy & cheery, sometimes toxic levels of positivity."
I'm paraphrasing for the sake of note taking in real time, go watch the stream playback for more context & details if you want.
#these are all from GLITCHX 2023 on the glitch productions youtube channel btw#for anyone curious as to where I got the screenshots & details#theory crafters pop off with this#someone else can reblog this with time stamps if you want I'm pretty tired#I'm not going back through that stream right now; I'm sure someone else will put timestamps in the comments maybe#but yeah consider the amazing digital circus officially greenlit for a first season I guess! :D#tadc season 1 eventually baybeee!!#I'm hyped! I wonder if the pilot will remain canon into season 1 or if we'll get a new introduction into the series.#Wonder why Jax called Gangle... well Gangle 👀 maybe he just thought it sounded silly or something i'm curious as to what gooseworx thought#Caine's AI really thought Pomni running around looking for him & Kaufmo abstracted in his room was funny 😐 or his AI is glitchy#(we saw him glitching out already in the pilot) alternatively I think Bubble could be distracting Caine on purpose but idk just yet#imagine how much pain Ragatha was in since they can all actually feel that though like being body slammed & thrown against walls & stuff 😬#also excited to see some Gangle-centric content in the future based on that comment about the 'real her' 👀#Kaufmo would probably make jokes at really dark moments when it wasn't appropriate because that was a coping mechanism for him poor guy 😭#mine#op#the amazing digital circus#tadc
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I haven't felt very motivated to draw lately (what chronic fatigue does to a guy 😔) but I have cracked open my sketchbook a few times. Mostly to doodle TBC.
#I don't draw on paper much anymore tbh#bc now that i have the option to fully line and color things digitally if I'm gonna spend time on art I'd rather go all the way#but i probably should get back into the habit. it's relaxing sometimes to draw something without fussing over it#also i drew blackstar recently while bored during my break at work and tried to redraw him digitally later and it just doesn't look as good#it really is easier to get things the exact shape you want during the sketching phase#which is why i want to make my digital art a little more relaxed and lean into sketches for lineart#but it just never works? idk#I don't feel like I really have the mind or eye for art sometimes. idk how to explain it#I don't really know how to experiment with my style or make changes? how do people learn that#anyway I'm rambling#i really enjoy drawing but I'm pretty art blocked recently bc I'm so tired all the time and kinda feel like? idk how to draw? dunno#my art#shadowsight#bristlefrost#rootspring#snowtuft#lionblaze
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I know some folks have been saying “Ed wanted to die in the same place he laid next to Stede-“ WRONG! HE WANTED TO DIE WHERE STEDE LAID NEXT TO HIM!!!
The place Auntie points out as being where his head was crushed by the cannon ball is the exact spot where Stede’s head had been during the arrest and that’s even more insane than the first option. (Anyway, I wanted to correct that assumption. It’s only a matter of like 2 feet, but I still find it an important detail, and figured a visual might help!)
#Cae Has Lots of Feelings About Our Flag Means Death#GUYS-#HE LAID DOWN IN ONE OF THE LAST PLACES STEDE WAS ON THE REVENGE#HE LET HIS BODY BREAKDOWN AND GIVE TO THE TIRE RIGHT ON THAT SPOT#HE WANTED TO DIE ON THE EXACT SPOT THAT STEDE LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID “You came back.”#I am screaming and crying and feeling every emotion humanly possible#I need us all to know that Edward Teach born on a beach wanted to spend his last moments in a place he remembers so fondly#Despite all the chaos of the British Invasion he smiled while he was arrested#Looking at Stede and waiting to see whatever happened as long as they saw it together#And now Stede's gone#But Edward will be too. Soon.#So he lays down - right there - to wait for it to come#Wearing Stede's Cravat#Soaking up whatever tangential connection to Stede Bonnet remains on his ship#I love him your honor#He is so babygirl#It's also a fun lil easter egg that Frenchie's in pretty much the same place in both shots too lol - but Ed's the crucial part#Our Flag Means Death#OFMD#Our Flag Means Death Season 2 Spoilers#Our Flag Means Death Spoilers#OFMD Spoilers#OFMDS2#OFMD s2 spoilers#Stede Bonnet#The Gentleman Pirate#Edward Teach#Blackbeard#Gentlebeard#OFMD Meta
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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i cant lie, im also beating myself up about not being able to get excited for the new game, or anything anymore it seems, while it can be fun to criticise things, some things you just dont like so badly that the frustration knowing it could be so much better but isnt and you not able to change it outweighs any fun- i dont like being a 'hater', i hate totk, but not bc i hate zelda but bc i LOVE it and want it to be better (though im starting to doubt my ability to do anything good with it too..)
and with the new game trailer (like, i still hope its better than im fearing rn) i feel similarly as when the next totk trailers dropped after the first one (which DID excite me), all of them gave me a sense of dread bc it seemed to go into a direction i wouldnt like, i tried to tone that voice down to enjoy the game, but then .. i was right
i dont want to be an annoying complainer about everything new, but maybe i am and i dont like that thought, i dont want to spoil anyones fun, i want to partake in it :(
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#either way#i know im in a bit of a swamp of bad feelings rn so i dont trust myself and what i say fully#but i have been thinking about trying to only work on destiny in terms of fanart#and look at my original stuff and perhaps gamedev a bit more seriously#dont get me wrong im not 'leaving' the fandom#but the things i like are so few and tiny parts of old games that are pretty much irrelevant to the modern fandom#like trying to keep driving on tires even when they lost all their rubber#after botw and the first botw2 trailer i was so deep into the theories of it all- and now i dont even want to look at the thumbnails#(even if those were largely boring or kinda weird- i felt like i was taking part in a fun group about stuff i like? in a way?)#what scares me about doing more original stuff though is ...#even my fanart was niche and largely not “popular” so doing oc stuff might be even worse and idk if my frail self worth can handle that dro#and to the last point of the post itself................. maybe a fear of losing community too#like how in school you where at first a part of the class#and as you got older your classmates started to notice how different and weird you were#and then you were alone
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day 44
pngtuber assets!
sorry for being gone :o[
#daily pilby#pilby#pilby regretevator#regretevator#roblox regretevator#pilby fanart#regretevator fanart#regretevator art#regretevator pilby#pilby pngtuber#pngtuber#i've been rather busy and super stressed recently#however i feel far better now!#i made these as an apology mostly since i planned to finish this later but oh well!#if somebody used it it'd be pretty cool#i could make more expressions if people ask!#but ONLY if i know the public wants it i'm still rather tired#how do i show them off? how do i record on desktop easily?#i personally use veadotube btw!!!
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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OMORITOBER DAY 14: LIBRARY
i like to imagine spirit mari tossing down her favorite memories for omori to read while peeking around to see omori's reaction :3
i was thinkin of drawing her too, but honestly i wasnt very sure what pose to do and i was a bit tired !!
thanks to @/ntrogensolar for the omoritober prompt list!
extra rant in the tags ab why this isnt a full piece!
#artists on tumblr#omori#omori fanart#omoritober#inktober#ez_draws#ez_rants#so heres the deal#i get very tired easily with the whole onyl certain amount of 'spoons' per day thing#i spend most of my time doing my homework#and after that i feel like ive gotta finish the drawing for the day#this means i subconsiously sacrifice time doing things that i truly wanna do including spending time with my friends and doing other things#if i prioritize doing the things that i want to do a little more than this challenge#it ends with me kiiinnddaaa staying up pretty late trying to finish the art#and also lower quality art in general!#however i dont wanna quit the challenge just yet; we'll see how things go but for now i was thinking just doing a sketch! it allows me to-#still do a daily drawing which is great for someone who sometimes goes months without drawing and still not burning myself out on the dail#for example - this drawing took about an hour even though i took my time! and i was also able to spend time with friends and family and-#still be productive! i know i dont have to explain myself; its my art after all but yk i like to explain stuff especially when in relation#to my art! i wanna make sure the art i make is something i truly enjoy and not a plaguing responsibility- so i'll be adapting this-#challenge to my own needs! anyway thats all- sorry for the long rant! and congrats to the people who have enough time and motivation to do#the full challenge!!!#ok byebyeee! and i might be posting more silly sketches in my free time!#rant over <3
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