#i feel likw crying but ik i feel shitty bc im sleep deprived and dehydrated so it would be stupid to cry
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Had the most exhausting day ever
#i feel likw crying but ik i feel shitty bc im sleep deprived and dehydrated so it would be stupid to cry#if i chug some water and sleep early tonight I'll be fine#maybe.#see thats the thing part of this is unrelated to my physiological needs#i had a chem lab today and i felt so awkward and tired the whole time#im so bad at socialising but i tried so hard#wait correction: I'm actually good at faking sociable but today something was off#and i felt like this girl in my lab was overpowering or something like she just threw me off#i felt insecure probably because she was assertive and thats usually what im like#but bc im not very good at chemistry its not like i could be more outspoken.. like i never had anything to add anyway#she was nice but she clearly knew how to lead so i felt awkward and stupid#so yeah she didn't do anything wrong i just felt like i seemed pathetic the whole time#also i feel so alone at uni i feel like. well#i feel like most people believe the fake put together image I've curated#and those who dont.. it feels like they see right through me#like they think im pathetic.. but also thats just me assuming they see through me and dislike me#so. 😁 i recognise that that is an unhelpful thinking style#idk i feel alone a lot#today someone was casually nice to me and it felt genuine and i felt this#like.#i realised how desperately i just wanted a friend to lean on when i feel tired#god i sound lame idk 😐#z.post
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