#i feel like this is stupid and self-indulgent but whatever here we aree

[kunikinnie]

a/n: eyyo i'm finally back! still recovering from covid but i'm well enough to write again yay also my brain the entire time was like... sickfic! write a fookin sickfic! but exes so yeah am i really fine already?? lol i'm still delusional

care package

A loud knock disrupted your shallow slumber. Knowing fully well who stood behind your door, you sluggishly made your way to it in order to conserve your remaining energy.

"Here to deliver your daily care package!"

Dazai carried two large paper bags on either hand. As you stepped aside, he quickly entered your apartment and placed them on the table.

"I'm glad you can at least walk around. Everyone's worried that you're actually bedridden or something."

"I told you already. You're all overreacting-" You were interrupted by a coughing fit, and before you could say anything Dazai grabbed a glass of water from your kitchen.

You took a few gulps and expelled some of the phlegm on tissues at hand. "Thanks. Sorry that was a bit embarrassing."

"It's nothing to be embarrased about." Your companion's eyes were dripping with concern. It wasn't rare for him to be serious like this yet it still threw you off when he was. "Just call any of us if you ever need anything. Seriously. Everyone's so worried about you especially-"

He caught himself before the name slipped, and fortunately the mild curiosity in your eyes was far less than what he had anticipated.

"Anyway... how are your tastebuds?"

"Thankfully, they're working fine. Well, at least for now."

"That's perfect! We got you some delicious food right here-"

The plastic containers were yet to be opened but you could already smell the flavors seeping out. The moment the lids popped off your mouth began to water.

"Thank you for the meal!"

Your big appetite surprised the two of you. The first few spoonfuls were quick - only now did you realize how little you ate in the past few hours - and they instantly warmed your aching body. As you finally slowed down, your tongue finally discerened the comforting, almost familiar flavors.

"...where did you get this?"

"Oh, you know. Probably the new restaurant down the street? Not really sure since they're the ones who packed it and I'm just the one who brought it."

You simply nodded in reply - not a single word escaped your lips. Dazai could tell your eyes were watery, but he wasn't sure if it had anything to do with the food or if your nasal congestion was just getting to you.

Nevertheless, he was glad to see you somehow comforted.

---

Another long day yields another long sigh. The moment Kunikida's body hit the bed the exhaustion immediately made itself known. Fortunately, only checking his phone for any unread messages was the only thing left to accomplish.

"I hope there's nothing to-"

He immediately sat up the moment he saw your name in the notifications.

Thank you for the food :) Delicious as always

His heart almost stopped. It was such a strange mix of joy and trepidation to have received a message like that from you - something he'd been hoping for yet something he'd dreaded at the same time.

Did Dazai tell you?

He'd specifically told him not to tell you since he was afraid of what you'd say.

I don't need him to tell me about someone's cooking I've eaten dozens of times yk

He smiled softly at that. His cooking skills are one of the things Kunikida was proud of and something he was more than happy to use for you frequently. Helping you every now and then wasn't entirely out of the question, even now after he'd left those days behind him long ago.

...but who was he kidding? Those days are far from left behind. In fact, if it were appropriate Kunikida himself would have visited you today instead of Dazai.

The typing and erasing of his reply to you reflected the inner turmoil in his mind and heart. It's been clear for some time to him that he had still loved you deeply and wanted to get back together with you, but it's been difficult taking that first step.

Get lots of rest. Hope to see you back in the office soon.

He wanted to slap himself for sounding much colder than he intended. It felt like his wee little step forward had been reset by a whole leap backwards. What the heck was he going to do after thi-

Can I repay you sometime when I get better?

Sometimes he feels like an idiot for letting himself get his hopes up so easily like this. But maybe this time, something could be gained from a little dreaming and moment of boldness.