#i feel like my connection to manhood is always a little bit tenuous for obvious trans reasons but like right after that because i have such

[portraitsofpast]

i feel like the older i get the more it dawns on me that my relationship with my dad has been so strained almost all my life which feels so silly to say in my position because like, he's always been here, nothing happened + everyone always says i'm so much like him in every aspect but it's just. idk. we can barely hold a conversation and i've always defaulted on my mom. and it's not super meaningful to my life right now but when i do eventually move out i have to wonder how much contact i'll have with him. it makes me very sad if i think about it too much but there's like no path to improving it