#i feel like im even losing the ability to talk w the person im closest to
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cancelling my therapy appointment for this month (on the 4th) because i really just dont have it in me to hav to walk in there and tell her about how much a failure i am & have been since we last talked n sit in her judgement & scolding for an hour straight
#also we do not have the money for it anyway#n my mom makes sure i know that#whihc only makes my anxiety worse#all my progress feels like it's been washed away#n i know if i go she'll just tell me im the only one who can help myself#but i dont know how#and i dont have the energy i am just scared#soso scared n tired n alone#even when i push myself 2 apply for jobs none of them ever get back to me#i feel like im even losing the ability to talk w the person im closest to#im just shutting down n i hate that#i feel so boring#i feel so useless#& i am just so fucking scared that its gonna get worse n theyre gonna hate me or im gonna get too bad n isolate myself n lose them#& it's gonna be all my fault because i didnt fix myself like im supposed to be able to#i cant even make my body look right when it's the one thing i actually know how to do#something ive done before
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Tagged 🥥)) In that case id like a mlqc + hq matchups if possible 🥺 im 5’5 w an athletic build, i have very straight natural blonde hair, it’s currently dark brown, cut to about my cheekbones but its like choppy and a bit longer in the back. I dont have a style tbh i just wear comfortable clothes like hoodies and shorts. My personality types are 4w5 INTJ Aquarius; I get worn out after hanging out with large groups of people nonetheless i love hanging out with them,
Tagged 🥥)) tho I’ll mostly be glued to one person to whole time. Im friendly with everyone even if i dont like them, tho it takes a while for me to consider someone an actual friend. I need time for most everything i do; I hate rushing things- and deadlines, it stresses me. I’ll end this by saying thank you so much, I really appreciate you reading through this and taking the time to write matches for me!! 🧡🧡
—
me: yeah making matchups is just so draining for some reason idk
also me: writes an entire essay on why an anon is made for this fictional character
--
for mlqc, I’d match you with Shaw!
- I headcanon shaw to be an ENTP, and while INTJs and ENTPs generally aren’t each other’s natural matches, they’re still a good pair nonetheless!
- being more of a half and half kind of pair, there are both notable and small differences in the way you either handle yourselves or just express things in general. but! in my opinion, the most important part of this pairing is the way that you’re able to fill in each other’s blanks —
- you mentioned that you get worn out in large groups but still love hanging out with them, which when being compared to an ENTP, is the opposite. that personality type enjoys being the leader, and for other outside reasons, I have absolutely no doubt that Shaw would love having you glued to his side for an entire night
- he’d pretend not to like it, when we all know he’d actually love it. a constant familiar presence is extremely comforting, especially in a crowded setting. imagine him silently holding your hand the entire night, and while he might talk to other people in the beginning, he ends up roped in a deep conversation with you for hours.
- I feel like he would be so nice to talk to 🥺 he has a traumatic past, so he’s a bit more understanding of a lot of issues than a normal person probably would be, and. plus, in a relationship setting, he’d just be so appalled at the idea of his s/o having any type of past regret. you deserve to be happy and he’ll try his damn best to make sure that with him, you are.
- we love silent pining!! that is actually not very silent at all!! shaw!!
- shaw, having adopted the tactic of being an asshole to push people away, doesn’t know whether to be jealous of your ability to be nice to everyone, or to resent it completely. I could see his teeth just grinding whenever you’re nice to someone you don’t really like, especially when you both know that if the roles were reversed, shaw would be on the run from the cops in 5 minutes or less
- but in actuality, I could see your personalities mixing really nicely. shaw, the more shameless and outgoing one, and you, someone who is probably on the more reserved side that doesn’t know how the hell someone like him roped you in. it’s like a magnetic force.
- taking the example of you being stressed about deadlines, I can just imagine shaw’s silent affection when trying to help you out, because he isn’t really sure how to express affection, but he’ll try his best for you 🥺💞
- he’ll actively make sure you keep yourself on track if he knows you won’t. that one fic I wrote where he drops in through the window at like 10pm? it becomes a reality babey. shaw hates seeing you stressed, because it changes people. he doesn’t want the feeling of obligation to mould you like it did him.
- but onto the actual relationship quirks — when I say I want this- 😫
- his love language to you might look something like this: letting you take a break (or keep working!) while sitting in his arms on the couch while he naps silently over your shoulder. bringing you random drinks from a nearby cafe just because he saw you stressing. getting into the little habit of squeezing your hand three times for “I love you”
- 🤲😳✨
(alternate match, lucien)
for haikyuu, I’d match you with Oikawa!
- I was SO caught up in this you DO NOT understand — this was a life or death decision for me it had to make perfect sense and there was no going back. though, I’m not gonna get into mbti matches much this time, because there’s just so much raw material to get through
- now that my English teacher has possessed me, Oikawa ✨
- Oikawa’s mbti, I think, is ENFJ! you guys naturally compliment each other, and from the brief accounts I read from people in relationships of this match, you’re set for success. you both share the basic characteristics of being loyal, respectful (generally of privacy, boundaries, etc) and both being more of a leader type, are open to listening to the people around you.
- anyways, onto the more personal aspects of this relationship-
- I headcanon the Oikawa just craves a domestic type of relationship with someone where you can just be each other’s rocks. he wants someone that will always be there and notice if he’s in a bad mood, which, judging from your personality I think would be a great equation 🥺 you can be honest with each other, and that’s one of your greatest strengths.
- he craves a storybook romance, so, his love language might be a bit different than yours, but I’m willing to bet that his cheesiness might be something that grows on you, if you don’t already like it.
- he’ll go all-out for holidays like white day! but would you be able to tell the difference between a white day gift and a normal gift? maybe not. he’s extra for the people around him that are genuine 🥺
- taking what you said about not liking large groups of people but still finding yourself happy to be around them, Oikawa is the perfect subject for this. He enjoys being the centre of attention, and can often be found in a crowded place like this whether he means to or not. but, Oikawa is also the type of person to never forget about who’s beside him. even if people gravitate towards him, he’ll always keep you closest, and make it a point that he’ll never ignore you despite his popularity
- and UgHhH I CAN JUST IMAGINE HIS SURPRISE WHEN HE FINDS OUT HOW SIMILAR YOU ARE TO HIM IN THE WAY YOU MAKE FRIENDS. it may not be for the same reasons, but it just makes him feel justified that he’s not alone in taking a while to accept someone’s friendship
- I don’t know how old you are, anon, but when you mention deadlines I think of schoolwork, so let me tell you — Oikawa. You. The library. Him making a thoughtful schedule for the both of you during exam season, all for the sole purpose of making sure that you don’t get more stressed out than you need to be—
- for the most part, Oikawa would literally be the perfect boyfriend. If he learned to integrate someone into his volleyball life, that is 😔 but don’t lose hope anon! your Oikawa is out there~
(alternate matches, osamu or kuroo)
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hey CASEY “BECK” BECKHAM , welcome to dillon university . has anyone ever told you you’re GAVIN LEATHERWOOD’s twin ? no ? well okay , i heard you are TWENTY - TWO & a JUNIOR at the university . we hope BIOCHEMISTRY isn’t kicking your ass too much , especially since you’re a STUDENT PHYSICAL TRAINER . see you at the next game, BECK & character’s cismale + he/him .
it’s me & i’m here for round fuckin’ two , friends . this time i bring you resident GOLDEN BOY . . . a whole 6′1 of soft boy energy . . . floppy overgrown curls . . . king of talking - your - way - out - of - everything . . . retired hockey player . . . a man of Many Talents , of which the most astounding is his ability to look like he’s got it all together when , in fact , he does not ! under the cut , you’ll find a lil more about him . . . & if you wanna plot hmu @ 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣#9956 on discord or pop into my ims here !!
𝑩 𝑨 𝑪 𝑲 𝑮 𝑹 𝑶 𝑼 𝑵 𝑫 .
dillon , texas born & raised . on the outskirts of town is a ranch that is enough to house the beckham family: mom, dad, and all eight beckham children . beck is the second oldest , with one older sister , four younger sisters , and two younger brothers . . . not necessarily in that order .
mother , sophia mattheson - beckham is a lawyer based in austin working with the ACLU , and father , michael beckham has a small private practice in dillon working as a pediatrician . they weren’t home often , but when they were , they spent as much time with the kiddos as possible . it’s just . . . they were so rarely home that it really didn’t matter.
with the beckham name, though, comes the pressure to be SOMETHING GREAT , and that’s something that’s been a part of beck’s life since . . . he can remember . little league & kindergarten grades were always taken a little too seriously , and it didn’t help that his older sister was a shining example of perfection .
growing up it was hard not to like him. he was quiet for the most part , but goofy when he wasn’t . there was a little extra charm about him that just gave him an all around magnetic pull . kids wanted to be his friend and he wanted to be theirs . he fit in , but around home , he was the odd man out . beck was always a little more interested in sports rather than math or music rather than reading . it wasn’t to say he wasn’t smart , it just kind of –– bored him?? where his family was v
there was give and take with beck–– the golden boy of dillon but the black sheep of the family . he could play hockey if he kept his grades up. he could take guitar if he was also on student government and model u.n.. his parents would applaud him on his grades but never cared to hear him play; they’d show up for debates but rarely ever saw a hockey game. it was touch and go, his relationship with them, and it still is.
DESPITE IT ALL though, you wouldn’t catch him complaining. he bore the crown of homecoming king his senior year and never went to a dance without a date. teachers loved him, so did his coaches. he found a best friend in one cameron sloane –– ( because of course he did ) –– when the sloanes moved to dillon , and they were an unstoppable kind’a duo on and off the ice.
when it came time to pick a college, he really . . . had his pick of the lot. coulda gone anywhere, but there were roughly six reasons , all with the same last name , that kept him close to home. his parents even agreed that if he went in as pre-med, they would pay for the whole thing . . . and even make time to watch him play hockey.
things were good for a long while, until they weren’t. you can usually see the stars on the outskirts of dillon, but one night, his sophomore year, you couldn’t. storm clouds covered ‘em up, and he tried his damndest to get cameron to stick around a celebratory party until it passed, but sloanes are stubborn and there was no changing his mind.
cam passing away was like losing a brother, and he spent countless hours pacing in a hospital waiting room . . . hoping for good news and never getting it. beck had never known loss like that, and it knocked him into a bit of a tailspin . he quit hockey and didn’t register for school the next year . he spent a lot of time at a family residence in austin and even more time drinking . for the most part . . . he kind of DISAPPEARED , losing himself in the process for a good nine months.
they say it takes a village to raise a kid, and it took a village to drag this one out of a spiral. his parents. his siblings. his friends. and eventually . . . dillon’s football coaching staff. a loud knock on the door from coach buchanan and a swift kick in the ass from coach sloane, a man who knew the kid almost as well as he’d known his own son. come work for us, they told him . . . and it was a way to get him back on track under a watchful eye that. wasn’t quite as critical as his parents
so that’s where we are now . . . back at dillon, a year behind, and working with both the football and cheerleading team as a physical trainer, playing a heavy hand in making sure both teams are the best conditioned in the state of texas. his grades are looking up, and he’s still on the fast track for med school, much to his –– and his parents’s –– surprise.
the beckhams don’t talk about his little stint of a spiral. no one in dillon does . . . unless in tones of hushed whispers alongside judgmental looks. beck doesn’t mind it too much ,though . . . even takes it as a challenge
𝑷 𝑬 𝑹 𝑺 𝑶 𝑵 𝑨 𝑳 𝑰 𝑻 𝒀 . ( i’m getting tired so this gon be ugly )
you want inspo?? i’ll give ya inspo!! richard campbell gansey the third ( dick 3 babiiiie ) is my main inspo for beck. you’ll also find a lil bit of jim halpert, a lil bit of rob maclanahan from miracle ( even tho he w as a real person too shhh ), and *insert big eyed emoji here* grizz from the society
ever since he can remember, there’s been pressure on this kid to be something great . . . so he feels like if he has the capability to do something, he has to do it. . . there’s no choice in the matter. a lot of this stems. from his parents, but he’s also really just . . . overly critical of himself sometimes
boy is a fucking PARADOX okay bc sometimes . . . . with the way he talks. . . . he accidentally puts his damn foot in his mouth . he’s smart so occasionally comes off as condescending , but he’s . . . incredible in conversation with people he needs to impress because he’s hella charming
that said... this quote is REALLY important and REALLY summative of beck: “Gansey had always felt as if there were two of him: the Gansey who was in control, able to handle any situation, able to talk to anyone, and then, the other, more fragile Gansey, strung out and unsure, embarrassingly earnest, driven by naive longing.” –– let’s dive into that!! when he feels like he’s got a sense of control of the things around him, when he’s in his element or in his comfort zone, when he’s feeling confident , the boy is a force. he can talk you and anyone else out of any situation, and he has. he can make friends with anyone put in front of him, and he has. when beck is ON . . . he is on . . . but it’s a bit surface level because when he’s not wearing the crown of GOLDEN BOY and he’s . . . vulnerable . . . or unsure . . . or stressed . . . he tends to put that foot of his in his mouth and spit. out whatever it is he’s thinking. he’s honest to a fault in this sense, and he’s hopeful beyond compare.
an introvert. . . . can CHARM u but doesn’t want to because honestly that is so draining and he’d much rather be at home. the popular type but only has a few friends that are really really close to him
loyal to a fault . . . will give you 392847 chances that you don’t deserve .. fool me once shame on you ! fool me twice shame on me! fool me three time what the fuck bro now ur just taking advantage of me
very . .. calm and even tempered. he’s a mediating type and like . . would rather find a conflict resolution than sWING u feel me
he’s cute. .. . and. people love him but . . . despite it all, he really doesn’t let that go to his head?? the boy was raised to believe you had to earn things and he’s just. idk . . .. humble king
eloquent as fuck ( lol good luck @ me writing that shit )
quick witted and very sharp
probably a lawful good type ngl :\
Does Not Do Well.With Change. when his older sister left dillon to go to notre dame??? boy damn near blew a gasket how dARE SHE go that far away!!!
v close with his sibs . .. . activate Dad Mode. he loves all of them equally and definitely does not at all favor the 10 y/o baby brother of the family or his sister closest in age, who is also a student at dillon. doesn’t favor them ONE BIT
u want a vibe for the beckhams??? “ the beckhams were courtiers and kings . when there was no castle to invite them, they built one” ( we stan ONE weird author lady named maggie)
insomnia!! the boy nEVER SLEEPS1! always thinking. always planning what’s next. gotta go gotta go gotta go.
kind of .. . a hopeless romantic :\ dated the same girl for most of high school but when she fucked off to ole miss she broke up with him in a text. so that .. . . . .. went well for him ..... still a dumb bitch tho and would love to hold ur hand
wire rimmed glasses, wool sweaters, light colored hoodies, distressed denim, cuffed pants, :\ chelsea boots :\
phobia of bees. there’s literally no reason for this other than my own, personal, geeked out pleasure
prank king
Smart Jock Type
plays guitar to relieve stress and you bet baby’s got some pipes here u go
literally nothing like nicholas scratch DO NOT call him daddy
tall and doesn’t know what to do with all the extra limb like . . . . . the fuck
will push you to your personal best in any conditioning circumstance
okay I THINK THAT’S ALL . . .. i’m a big fan of basic plots that kinda ebb and flow with chemistry BUT!! gimme the basics man . . . a roommate . . . a past hookup or two . . . some spicy friendships or . . . fRENEMIES even u know the drill
ok that’s all i hope u love him bc i am v nervous about playing A Man buT IT IS WHAT IT IS U KNOW
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✧.° hello hello !!! i’m diana ( she/her, 20, est ) aka ur resident girl group stan !! so i’m a little late to the party but i’m finally here, introducing my baby angel luella ( she is quite literally an angel hehe ). u can read all abt her under the cut, but if u want 2 plot, we can do so thru im’s or on discord depending on what u prefer !! my discord is everybody say STAN LOONA#5522
𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴 : #ANG3L // STATS » luella ‘lu’ su, ( appears to be ) twenty, cis female, she/her, ballerina. ATTRIBUTES » devoted, mercurial, captivating, demure. SEEN » strangers whispering in the night, the lingering scent of vanilla in the air, tired eyes stained by glitter and mascara. DO NOT MISTAKE FOR » tzuyu chou.
( 𝑯𝑼𝑴𝑨𝑵. )
so,, since she cant remember her life as a human, i’ll keep it short !!! but i figured it’s worth mentioning
as a human, she had big aspirations. she was raised predominantly by her grandmother because her parents were always working
luella had always wanted to be a dancer, but she came from a lower middle class family and they couldn’t afford to put her in lessons. so, sometimes she would watch classes through the window
she studied hard in school and was at the top of her class, and despite never formally receiving lessons, all her years of observing classes made her a promising dancer
lu took a year off after high school to work and save money, and planned to audition for a prestigious ballet academy in europe because there were recruiters in her town
however, on the way to the audition, she died in a car accident along with her parents. a few months prior to this, her grandmother had died of old age
so, with the deaths of her and her family, it didn’t take long for her to be forgotten all together
( 𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑬𝑳 . )
as an angel, luella avoided living with humans at first. she did not want to get too attached, and she felt that living among them wouldn’t end well for her
however, even from a distance, she became attached to one human. it was a girl, a ballet dancer. it was then she made the decision to live among humans, and she decided to take up ballet to be closer to her
still, even living among humans, she managed to keep some distance. she was more reserved, and extremely observant. eventually though, the two became friends. she felt more protective over this one human above all others
this continued for a while, but the guilt of having a favorite began to linger in her thoughts. she made the decision to leave and continue watching her from afar instead
once lu left the human world, she started to feel a lot better about herself and could say she no longer had favorites. for a few years, this worked perfectly. except the ballet dancer she had once been so close to developed an illness and passed away from it
lu was riddled with regret. she wished she had stayed close to her for the remainder of her life instead of running away. the worst part was, she knew that human felt abandoned by her
it was the first time as an angel that she felt like a failure
for a while after the death of the dancer, luella couldn’t focus properly. she began spacing out a lot, making mistakes more frequently ( when prior to this, she was the perfect example of what an angel should be ). she could not move on and started to feel like she was not fit to be an angel
as this was negatively impacting her ability to carry out her responsibilities, she pressured by the other angels to either overcome her failures or lose her status as an angel
this ultimatum made her realize she wanted to remain an angel and that she would have to get her act together to do so. for a brief moment, she contemplated giving up her status, to be able to forget it all. but when it came down to it, she didn’t want to lose the memories of all those she had crossed paths with, especially the dancer, who at least was alive in her thoughts
it was not easy to return to being the perfect angel, but she worked hard to get back to that level
eventually, she felt ready to live among humans once more. she decided to move to lunehaven for a while, though she really wants to move to paris one day. in the meantime, she has continued pursuing ballet and works as an instructor for kids
she attempts to live a quiet life, not getting too close to anyone, but it does get lonely sometimes
( 𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀. )
luella tends to be quite reserved. she rarely initiates conversations or hangouts, but is relieved when someone else does. she enjoys being social, she’s just skeptical about getting too close to others
she is a scorpio sun with a libra moon so take that as u will !!
she is extremely devoted to dance and being an angel ( despite everything that happened ), and also very devoted to the few that she is close to, however, she changes her mind a lot about other things. her mood tends to change a lot, but she does her best to keep this to herself
as you can expect of scorpio and libra placements, she can be quite an intense/obsessive lover BUT can also be flighty if something seems too serious or causes her to feel too much. yes, she is a walking paradox i do not want 2 live in her head !!!
she adores classical music, which can be expected of a ballet dancer. she wants to learn how to play violin one day
her taste is pretty .... refined, so she can be quite the snob sometimes
she enjoys going to the theatre and the opera and stuff like that, and mostly goes alone
she comes alive at nighttime tbh,, the quiet hours once everyone has gone to sleep is her favorite time of day. she lovessss stargazing and if you become her friend, she will force you to have picnics under the stars
she’s bi bi bi babey !!!
take a look at her pinterest board to get a feel for her aesthetic !!!!
( 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺. )
cultured duo - someone who goes to the theatre/cinema/opera with her !!! it could be against their will, maybe she begs them to come. or maybe they also enjoy the these things
ex-fling/gf/bf - there could b more than one of these !! they could have ended on bad terms or good terms, still have lingering feels or tension or maybe they remained friends !!! we can plot this literally however !!
unrequited crush - maybe she has a crush on ur muse and it scares her to admit. OR ur muse could have a crush on her and maybe she’s oblivious to it
current fling/friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t.
enemies w benefits - imagine the tension !!! they started out hating each other but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. maybe they keep it a secret and don’t want anyone else to know. this could develop in soooo many ways
ex-friends - someone she used to consider a best/close friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason n maybe they strongly dislike each other now. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how
sibling-like friendship - someone she sees like a sibling. they’re there for each other and look out for one another, always have each other’s backs
dynamic duo - ride or dies. platonic soulmates !! this person is prob one of the closest people to her and knows her very well ! they could b a power duo, always looking out for each other
take care - i think it would be cool if maybe one day she drank a little too much or was having an off day in general and your muse helped her get home and spent the night to make sure she was okay. lu probably feels like she owes them a favor and is really grateful in general that they took the time to care
confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other. they don’t necessarily have to be the closest friends ever, but they get along, trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private
rivals - they don’t like each other for whatever reason, which we can plot. maybe it’s jealousy or their personalities just clash, but for whatever reason they do not get along. maybe they bring out a bad side to her that most people dont see
good influence - someone she can be a good influence on, someone she brings out the best in, maybe someone she rly cares about and wants to look after to make sure they’re ok !!
this is all i have for now, but maybe eventually i will make a plots page !!!
#luneintro#✧.° ░ 𝒖𝒎 𝒊 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒖𝒓 𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 ╱ ooc.#this is so late helppppppakjhsdjshddkh#it is 6 am i hav 2 go 2 bed now
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( sorry I'm late to the party im in pst so i was at work til now sdkfjl ) ANYWHO hi pals what the h*ck is up !! im chloe , im 21 , i use she / her pronouns & im a broke a$$ geography major !! i am SO excited to be her & get to rp with all y’all bc judging by your apps skdflj i fuck with u all . anywho ill stop my rambling , below the readmore is stuff about sofie & some wcs !!
trigger warning !! sex work , deportation , neglect , bad writing , alcoholism & substance abuse
HAILEY BALDWIN / SHE/HER / TWENTY TWO / BILLIE EILISH VC
welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at 8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a singer since relocating from harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your self-destructive & choleric tendencies .
stats
name : sofie sydney almeda
nicknames : sof
age : twenty - two .
birthday : december eleventh .
zodiac : sagittarius .
gender : cisfemale ( though doesn’t vibe with the idea of being STRICTLY a WoMaN , she finds labels restrictive ) .
pronouns : she & her .
height : 5 ′ 6 ″ .
hometown : recife , brazil & harlem , new york city .
nationality : american , brazilian .
ethnicity : english , portuguese .
label(s) : the venereal , the bellwether , the opulent , the anaxiphile .
occupation : singer ( vc billie eilish ) .
quirks : fidgeting , allergic to shellfish , walks quickly , cracks knuckles , always wears her lucky ‘ st christopher ’ necklace from her grandmother , has a weird ability to talk herself out of trouble , can tie a cherry stem in her mouth , messy emotionally but on - point physically , vvv bad driver , loves a good theme party , can’t get through the day without multiple cups of coffee , refuses to wear glasses in public even though she’s quite far - sighted , always carries hand sanitizer , prefers rain over sunshine .
background
her mother , marcia almeda , was a recent graduate from secondary school who packed a backpack and went traveling !! before long tho she ended up knocked up by another backpacker , this one american , while they were having a fling in sydney ( hence sofie’s middle name lmao @ her mom’s humor ) . she flew back home when she found out & never told sofie’s father oops !! so marcia had sofie at home in recife just before her nineteenth birthday , and marcia was enthralled w little sofie . ofc she inherited her mother’s beauty ( i hc marcia looks like alessandra ambrosio bc hello ! ) & little sofie lived a happy early childhood life in her grandparents’ home in recife.
brazil isn’t the safest of countries & marcia didn’t want the same dangers she experienced growing up for her young daughter , so around sofie’s eighth birthday , her & her mother packed up and went on a ‘ trip ’ to new york city . joke’s on sofie , though - it wasn’t actually a trip , but rly they were trying to move there to find sofie’s father to confirm his paternity and get sofie american citizenship . it was proving more difficult than she thought , & marcia was quickly running out of money . with a face like hers , though , making money wasn’t too difficult , but it was time consuming . marcia found herself escorting older men in order to pay the bills , all the while leaving little sofie to fend for herself . some of her earliest memories are of strange men in their tiny apartment & sofie trying to block out their conversations with her lil cassette player hiding in the corner of her room . eventually , marcia was able to contact the father & they set up a meeting . sofie had gotten her hopes up that she would finally have a dad ( she got dressed up in her sunday best & everything bc reuniting her dad was a BIG deal ) , but the meeting ended up being a quick exchange of words , a mouth swab and a couple signatures . sofie never even learned his name , & this queued up a lifetime of daddy issues & distrust of men !!
while marcia was able to stay in america much longer than she was legally supposed to , eventually she was facing deportation , which meant lil sofie , with her citizenship finally confirmed , was put into the hands of her father who sent off to an american boarding school in new york without even contacting her . she would spend the summers in brazil with her mother or , as she got older , couch - surfing with different friends throughout the months . she started growing apart from her mother as she aged since she wasn’t going home every summer since she didn’t rly feel any connection to brazil . her grandfather had passed away & she only has faint memories grandmother , plus the city wasn’t at all familiar to her & she wasn’t practicing her portuguese after her mother returned to brazil .
through it all , music was proving to be the one constant in her life she could use to escape from reality . she had never done any training or classes , but she just liked singing along to whatever was on the radio & practicing on her own . she also found a passion for writing poetry which she later would realize was compatible with music . she would spend HOURS in the school library working on garage band lmfao bc she couldn’t afford her own laptop to produce music & her dad sent just enough money as he was legally supposed to . but she worked her lil tushy off & applied to a music academy in nyc & was rejected the first year ( DEVASTATING when mixed with her impostor syndrome & daddy issues ) but she practiced more & more & edned up getting accepted the next year . here , she worked on her vocal skills & music production , & started accumulating her own music & selling songs to music producers on the side for some ca$h money .
by the time she was 16 the state decided she was old / mature enough to live on her own so she got a TINY lil studio apartment in harlem where she’d grown up with her mum & she had friends who she’d grown up with . while it wasn’t the safest neighbourhood statistically sofie felt safe & just like one of the neighbourhood kids . it was the first time she genuinely felt like she belonged .
she was accepted on full scholarship to nyu & majored in music composition & vocal performance where she started finally feeling secure in herself & released her own music on soundcloud , quickly amassing a following & becoming an ‘ up & coming ‘ artist !! she was contacted by a scooter braun type guy who was interested in taking her on under his management so she dropped out of uni in her 2nd year ( bc tbh her grades in anything other than her music classes were v subpar ) . soon enough producers wanted to work with her & she was making enough that she didn’t have to sell her songs which she hated doing but had to pay the bills u know . oh & her vc is billie eilish bc ofc shes my queen go stream when we all fall asleep where do we go on spotify u won’t be disappointed
she also started getting into the partying scene here yikes !! it was a method for her to numb all her pain from her past & impostor syndrome & drown all that out in pills or tequila . it rly wasn’t healthy bc of how she would binge for a weekend then try to stay sober throughout the week but failing by about wednesday when she started to feel hollow . she wasn’t gonna be a one hit wonder & her mom sure as hell didn’t go through all that trouble just for sofie to be a nobody addict !! so she kept it together enough to start making big bucks & well ……. here she is :~)
personality
sofie blames it on her brazilian heritage but this bitch loves a party !! like shes the one who gets happy drunk at the pre then is the first on the dance floor then later falls out of the club & into some rando’s bed !! in the back of her mind she knows her drug & alcohol use is self - destructive but she figures shes allowed to let loose sometimes ( even if that ends up being most nights ) ; rly she’s just in denial bc she doesn’t want to change her ways & lose her identity !!
doesn’t put labels on her gender identity or sexual orientation . she finds them restrictive & useless for herself , labels would only be to satisfy others . she doesn’t see herself as 110% female either like she’s all about gender being a social construct / a spectrum ; some days she’ll get dolled up & wear heavy makeup & six inch heels , some days she’ll walk around in a bun & tracksuit & trainers . anyone who asks abt it will swiftly get 2 middle fingers in their face !! shes uncontrollable i swear
puts up a tough bad - ass front like billie does aksjdh like nah nothing can hurt me im bulletproof !! but is rly just kinda broken underneath . she doesn’t even let her closest friends know how hurting she is bc she doesn’t wanna burden them . she rly uses mmusic as an outlet tho so she’ll act totally tough then go to the studio & record all about her heartache . will NEVER let someone see her cry no matter how close she is with them . she rly sees it as a sign of weakness & shes in a much better place than she was 5 years ago so she figures she’s not ALLOWED to feel anything but grateful .
this bitch overthinks everything !! half the time she isn’t rly listenning to whoever bc she’s thinking about what they just said & if they’re mad with her . she’s that friend who will ask u to come over to formulate the perfect text response & fuss over it for hours . that being said , if someone talks shit abt anyone shes tight with , they’re gonna get it the next time she sees them . she isn’t about violence & would never get into a physical fight , but she’d work behind the scenes to ruin their life . but then she pretends like she rly doesn’t care though its obvious to those close to her that she cares way too much
has a very hard time expressing love bc she didn’t have much practice w it growing up . she was on her own most of her young life so even if her mom would tell her te amo she would be like uh huh gtg bye !!
tldr ; poor bitch w abandonment issues who was able to get out of it by channeling her energy into music & numbing the stress with pills or alcohol which she def still overuses but she doesn’t think its a problem !! yikeroony !! loves partying & having a good time , puts up a tough front but is rly soft underneath .
wanted (* = mw)
friends from high school !! - people sof stayed with in the summer bc she wasn’t going home to brazil .
friends from music school !! - she def felt like an outsider among the music prodigies at this school , & maybe this person was one of the ppl she actually connected with .
come out & play !! this person acts as a good influence to sofie . they’re level - headed & very grounding , & sofie doesn’t let it show but they’re really important to her . this is the Softest billie song ( prob bc it was for an ad skdj ) & they inspired it bc it’s how she feels when shes with them . they encourage her to be all that she can be & they believe in her , & they’re prob the one person sofie trusts the most which is SAYING something !!
*exes on bad terms !! - ok this would basically be based on all the songs billie has about a failed relationship / heartbreak !! shes got a bunch . im thnking maybe she was actually rly into them but had a hard time expressing it bc she’s never been good with emotional expression , & it led to the relationship feeling ?? unfaithful / disconnected ?? idk but she rly loved them & is still nursing that heartbreak . ( x , x , x )
the paris to her nicole !! - ok i f*cking hate that i said this but she’s nicole richie its true !! she needs a messy gal pal exactly like how paris & nicole are i stan them ( x , x , x )
roommate !! - bc of her abandonment issues she rly doesn’t like living alone so prob is the roomie who will sleep in their bed from time to time bc she doesn’t like being totally alone .
*when the party’s over !! - these two have been hooking up for a while no strings attached but recently feelings have been caught !! & now they still hook up quite often but sofie’s kinda harboring feelings & pretending all is well but she rly hopes they’ll just stay the night from time to time , & gets secretly heartbroken when she sees them flirting or leaving with someone else . they can also have feelings if u want that angst :~)
fwb !! - sofie is pretty transparent when it comes to what she wants & she’s got a bad habit of replacing dealing with problems with getting laid !! like u know in movies when the man opens his wallet and a row of like 20 pictures of different women fall out ?? that’s sof’s aesthetic . she’s got a bunch of fwb of all genders so bring me some pls
***mutual dislike / copycat !! self - explanatory , sofie thinks this person is copying her in everything she does & thinks its annoying af so she wrote a song abt it & hopes they indirectly get the message even if she drops not so subtle hints . skfldjh itd be messy pls !!
party buddies !! - someone who encourages sofies wild ways . when the two get together its usually to get drunk or high & thats the way they like it . sofie doesn’t feel judged by them as she does by others who don’t get obliterated at every social event ( what an idea !! ) so she rly values them , even if she doesn’t express it
** 8 !! - someone who kinda reluctantly got into a relationship with sofie out of maybe a desire to save her from herself ?? like u know that good girl bad boy trope where the girl tries to save the boy from whatever he’s struggling with ? that’s them but the roles are just reversed - good guy , bad girl . it was kinda just filled w her being self - destructive & confiding in him but not rly reciprocating the care so he became kinda distant bc of it . tbh she prob knew he was too good for her but had a sliver of hope he wouldn’t leave her even tho eventually she became too much for him . ( lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )
good influence !! this person can tell that her beahvior is unhealthy & are trying to gently nudge her abt it . she can tell what they’re doing but her addict brain is telling her its invasive & threatening so shes not the fondest of this person , but deep down she really appreciates them
music buddies !! these two are both in the music industry & rather than it being competitive , they’ve developed a friendship from it & enjoy working together .
* someone sofie ghostwrites for !! for whatever reason , this muse doesn’t write their own songs & instead pays sofie to write them for them . she doesn’t love it but its a way to make money & give away songs she doesn’t feel attached to but are worth something . maybe its tense bc they claim the songs as their own & sofie doesn’t like it , this could be ~escandolo~ later !!
*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok tea this song is the one that broke her into the industry . she produced it all herself & just relased it to her soundcloud thinking it wouldn’t rly go anyway but !! joke’s on yung sofie . essentially he thought the relationship was going well , she’d met his family & they rly liked her but !! sof was feeling kinda smothered & told herself he was lying & cheating on her n shit so she wrote a song about it !! & once it was starting to get attention he was like ….. uhhh what the fuck & she was like haha sorry !! so they broke up & ever since its been animosity , but she realizes she fucked up but it launched her career so she doesn’t know whether to keep up the idgaf i hurt you or apologize .
* ex - friends !! ok pls i have this hc where sofie got way too high one night & slept with this person’s dad or sibling or smth !! u know that line in ‘ bad guy ’ where she goes ‘ might seduce your dad type ? ’ ya that’s got sofie written ALL over it !! & now they’re not friends bc sofie can’t keep it in her pants but both sides kinda misses the other but are too stubborn to say anything :~(
exes from college / high school !! - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!
* lovely !! - i need a male voice for khalid’s part in lovely bc i need this song in my life bc its a whole ass sofie mood ok .
i’ve also got a wanted connections tag linked HERE dksfj there's not much in it yet but feel free to check it out . ok i love y'all
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Lu thank you for once again not making the o/c some weak character I love that you aren’t afraid to say you know what I don’t need a man to save me or guess what girls can go out and have sex to get over things too. I love that you write flawed characters.Your writing always paints a picture a real one that human beings can be messy so thank you for that. Also hope you’re having an awesome day.
Anonymous said:i love how u make OC to forgive Mijoo at the end of the chapter!
Anonymous said:Wow I am really loving New Rules. The OC's personality is really refreshing I don't typically see that in a lot of other fics I've read. I really like her maturity and how she thinks about the implications of her actions but at the same time shes had so much bottled up that she loses herself. Idk I am sensing a lot of complex emotions from it and I really like it! Thanks for writing even though you have a ton of things to do in the real world I appreciate it!!! 💕
Anonymous said:I barely finished reading New Rules pt 2 and the OC is just amazing???? Not just for forgiving Mijoo, but because of how she’s outspoken yet kind she is and how much she values her relationships. I aspire to be like her tbh. This isn’t just limited to the OC in New Rules though. Your other OCs are freaking great too and your works are some of the best!!!! I can’t wait to see what more you have in store for us :)
Anonymous said:Damn I love the OC in New Rules she's so mature & is handling the situations so calmly like I could learn a thing or two & it might be my wishful thinking but I have a feeling the OC will have her happy ending & that Mijoo will get what she deserves because karmas real & life always seems to come in full circle Mijoo will lose jimin the way she got him which was by her selfishness or at least I hope
Anonymous said:The maturity displayed by OC is admirable. I'd like to think I could handle the situation with as much grace. To be honest I wanted OC to rage at Minjoo and tell her what was what. I can relate to OC with her issues about trust. It wasn't a girl that broke my trust it was an ex boyfriend. I loved him, confessed to him, and he disappeared from my life. But before that he was perfectly content to play my feelings and sleep with me. Even with all that I still believe in true love.
Anonymous said:What a way to be the bigger person and rise above. That is a true feminist no matter how wrong Mijoo was you cannot let jealousy take away your morals. But why do I feel like there's a storm coming? I understand that Mijoo is her friend and she forgives her but she wont forget anytime soon. Afterall they're now a couple so they'll be everywhere so more instances to drown in the poison that is Jungkook. This is very interesting with a different take on female relationships can't wait for more!!
Anonymous said:I think I kinda learn from your fics?¿ If I were actually at oc's place in new rules I would have just stopped talking to her. But if takes a more mature route and thus in future I'll try not to fight with my friends on some stupid shit like that. Love 💚💚
Anonymous said:I really like how you kept the oc and mijoo's friendship. I know a lot of people who ruin their friendship over some boy and it breaks my heart that they let a stupid boy get in the way of their friendship. I'm happy that you're showing the values of friendship. There are a lot of people who neglect this connection and/or think of friendship less than being in a romantic relationship when it should both be valued.
Anonymous said:(this is the inner dialogue anon) I also wanted to add that I really really appreciate you making the oc a so-called ice queen when she simply doesn't see her own value, thus acts in a way where she makes her emotions not matter, even though they truly do! furthermore, i loved that you put that while the oc was ok with sexual interactions, she was not ok w romantic, more sensual intimacy... ppl like that really do exist, and I'm so thankful that they were shown through ur fic! love you ❤️
Anonymous said:inner dialogue anon again - lemme just add as a final note, i really respect the oc for her not going crazy over mijoo backstabbing her, and forgiving her to the best of her abilities. that's how i wish i could be in situations like that
Anonymous said:I understand now what you were aiming for in regards to the whole Mijoo thing! Def in real life I wouldn't act as rationally at first (you said you'd be petty af lol same) but its your writing and you can choose for a character to be problematic or as ideal as you want! Definitely caught me off guard, which I like! I'm so glad you're one of my favorite writers, promoting maturity and women empowerment in your way!
Anonymous said:I honestly hope I can find friends as loyal and understanding as oc, I wasn't expecting her to be so forgiving! I'm so used to reading stories where friendships are torn apart over love, this was interesting. I was mad at mijoo too, but when I thought about it, if I had such strong feelings, I can't be certain I wouldn't have done what she did. Still, I hope oc comes clean to mijoo eventually about her feelings for jimin, it can't be healthy bottling all that away:/ keeping up the amazing work!!
Anonymous said:I wanna know what the OC went through with her past friendships to be so adamant about forgiving Mijoo. I’ve been following you for awhile now so with that said, I’m positive you have some plots up your sleeve ohoh I’m excited!! I just really want OC to find her happiness though ): whether it be a fantastic man or a great friend that’ll value her as much as she values them! I’m just glad to see a character that’s not out to destroy other females though. Once again love your writing!!
Anonymous said:Lu! The thing is that I like your OC’s they’re powerful,with that I mean that they have attitude and they aren’t submissive nor humiliated,also they don’t tolerate shit from nobody I don’t understand sometimes when girls want guys getting jealous 😳
Anonymous said:i have to say i relate to the oc of new rules so much? like all of my closest friends always telling me to stop forgiving people so easily and to stop being so insecure but ive NEVER been able to do it and reading this just hit me like a ton of bricks because wow even though i act strong i seem like such a pushover? thank you lu for writing such human characters that have bits of reader's personalities! i love you and im extremely excited to read the rest of the story :-))))
moeeshah said:I'm actually very pleased with how the OC confronted Mijoo. It shows how mature she is. Granted, I really was hoping the OC to have revenge, but I'm glad she didn't and o respect her for it. And I respect you for deciding she wouldn't stoop so such a level. Can't wait to see how the story plays out.
Anonymous said:omgg i love new rules so much!! i really like how the oc decided to forgive mijoo unlike most fics where the oc decides to do something hasty like take revenge and it jus messes everything up?? jungkook's character is so funny and hot im all for this.. thank u for writing a masterpiece!!!!
Ah everyone is more than welcome to their own interpretation of the ending but I have to admit that these kind of comments makes my heart happy. It’s one thing to feel anger, but I was secretly hoping that there might be a lesson for ppl to learn to be the bigger man from this fic and this made me so pleased. Thank you, guys
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EPISODE 02: Hmm, Okay, Sounds Weird But Okay
For the castaways’ second immunity challenge, a glitch in the system took down their Deep Space Survival Procedures and Protocol Manual, also known as the Rules page. Their task was to reconstruct it as best they could, which shouldn’t have been hard since they all definitely read those rules thoroughly before beginning the game, right?
Hmm, perhaps not. They both did a decent job reconstructing, though. Within the first two hours of the challenge, Lovelace found a loophole and used the Rules from one of Ari’s other games as a template to work from. Even with that, Minkowski was a fierce contender - maybe they actually did read the rules - and the teams tied. Ultimately it was Lovelace’s early submission time that secured them a second win.
At Minkowski’s second Space Council, Jay was voted out 6 - 1 and went to join Karen inside the star. The DSSPPM was restored, and the anarchy of this round was laid to rest.
RICHIE
i got my way and karen just left :) noah fence karen you just were the only person on the team i wasnt aligned with bc i needed someone to vote out if we lost im sure youre great!!!!!! i'm not aligned with everyone left which isn't good bc if we lose then i'm fucked lmao... the person i'm least aligned with is probably Pat??? which is interesting bc stevie and jay didn't vote with me.... i really wanted to vote with them but they wanted to vote for jakey and he's one of my closest allies at this point.... i should have just straight up told stevie and jay that i had the votes to get out karen that way there would be more team unity and if we lose again jakey wouldnt be so for voting one of them out and i could point the finger to Pat for the least amount of blood on my hands but I know stevie and karen are friends and i didn't want to be so obvious about the fact that i know the votes were there for karen bc im the one who got them all lmao we really need to win this and then hopefully a team swap happens bc if we go back to space council with this group i'm fucked i have too many allies this is wild
JAKEY
hello!! so basically today was SPACE COUNCIL DAY!!!! so we have some content ladies, saddle up!
so coming into council i've only spoken with richie and pat one on one lol which is clearly NOT GREAT so i had to get to #werk. richie informs me at 7:10 that miss karen wanted either me or richie to leave.
now clearly since i'm me and richie is one of the two people that have built a relationship with me im like hell no!!!! so at this point it's clear karen is the person i was gonna target since she came for me yknow
so RENEE messages me today and we get to talking a little bit and we immediately have a GREAT bond. i get good vibes from her and i was so happy to find someone i could potentially work with closely in this game!
so she rly wants to keep me and she hasn't talked to karen, so i knew i could get her vote from there. so then it was mostly talking to pat and what i've gathered from pat is he's very secretive and sketchy... like this vote he wasn't saying much which i know he was busy and everything but he was telling richie like he wont be around so he might not be able to vote or something and it was ????? also he's apparently close with JOSH because i havent spoken once to josh and pat was like "ok josh will vote with us" and i was like hmmm okay sounds weird but okay.
so yeah it ended up being me/richie/renee/pat/josh for karena n karen/stevie/jay voting for me. im all fine for this outcome especially since i got to have my sandra-esque "AND THE QUEEN STAYS QUEEN" moment... i was LIVING... but im so worried pat/josh will turn on me in the next vote!!! i don't trust them at all and maybe it's time to start trying to built relationships with stevie and jay since maybe they feel on the outs after this vote.
at this point i know im going to be an ONGOING target on this team so the quicker we swap, the BETTER (i also want to reunite w some cuties on the other team)
LOGAN
i just realized there were confessionals but honestly i've been sleeping this whole game and don't really talk to anyone lol #socialgame
PATRICK
Welp, that was a shit show.
A bit of context: I hated both options that came up. I tried subtly dropping Renee once or twice, but it was clear that wasn't gaining traction. My next preference would have been Jay, probably. That wasn't happening, either. People seemed locked on Jakey and Karen, which irked me and still kinda does. But since I was out I didn't really have much ability to make anything happen.
So, why take out Karen over Jakey? It gets complex. At the core of it, in a vacuum, I feel Karen would have been more loyal to me than Jakey likely will be down the road. But the issue comes in who I would have been throwing my hat in with if I'd gone with Karen. Those three votes were Jay, Stevie and Karen herself. I'd have made it four, and I presume Josh and I were always voting in lockstep. Either that, or rocks on the first vote which yikes.
Plain and simple, I don't like that group as a means to reach the end. I think me/Josh/Jakey/Renee/Richie will be a much more effective group. I wish Karen had talked to more people, because adding her to this group would've been great.
Also, Josh stated a preference to voting out Karen over Jakey. I really want to keep Josh feeling like he can trust me 100%. I always do better in these games when I have an unquestioned #1 ally. So I let him feel – rightfully – that if his preference was Karen, we'd do Karen. It helped that I was leaning that way, myself, for the reasons above.
Also, Jakey's pretty fun. A bit abrasive sometimes for my taste, but I'm not mad at all about working with him. He'll be a good ally, I think.
Ah well, onward and upward. RIP, Moose Alliance.
RICHIE
so we lost and now i'm fucked bc no matter who i vote for tonight i'm going to be backstabbing someone since i'm a dumbass lmao
me stevie and jay aren't an official alliance but we have talked about working together jakey has told me i'm his #1 and we have gotten close josh and renee are 2 of my favorite people who i just won't vote out rn
and pat and i really connected at the beginning of the game but i've kinda stopped the breaks on that relationship bc i needed someone with no connection with in case we went to council but it looks like it's impossible for me to put the vote on pat tonight which sucks for my game bc im going to be pissing off someone just who's it going to be??? idk bc we're less than 2 hours from council and no one is around!!!!!!
i love jay and i wanted to work with him but the last vote really fractured the team and choosing to go with the minority with a possible team swap coming just isn't the best idea???? i'm trying to do damage control with stevie 15 minutes before the vote so that if this all goes down as planned then i still have room to work with him hopefully
KARTER
I can't trust anyone? Or can I? I can't tell! I just want us all to be friends.
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Episode 8 | "I'm Always Playing To Win" - Johnny Stockton
I have given you all multiple warnings. Confessionals are now 69 mandatory, if you do not submit one per episode 420 you will be given a strike. There will be no exceptions to this rule.
I kind of sad that Bryan is here. He was the only one besides Tim to have voted for Adrian, thus trying to save me. Chrissa seems to have a vendetta against him, but I think that has dissipated. For us, there are bigger fish to fry in the main game. I want to see the Hufflepuff tribe go to tribal because I want the remaining of that tribe to get voted out. I especially want Carson, but that seems unrealistic. Hopefully, the first Outcast Tribal will show everyone that it was a mistake to put Chrissa, Tim, and I on the same tribe where we hold majority. We will be the death of many people's games to suit our own personal vendetta. This game is a revenge quest now since I do not personally foresee myself winning. So let's see how many people I can take down along with me.
Thank god for Jordan Pines. I hate myself.
So we lost, and for the first time all game, I have to vote someone out, which sucks, but not that much because meh. I barely spoke to Jordan after the vote was read, and he said that everyone wanted Antione out, and I'm perfectly okay with that. Antione apparently wants Jay, and has already been throwing Jay and Andrew under the bus. What I'm MORE nervous about is if we lose again NEXT round. I am hoping we won't be in these tribes for much longer, but I just simply do not want to go into a vote with the five remaining on this tribe, assuming Antione goes home. I don't have a relationship with Katie, but thankfully the two people I do feel closest to in the game is Jordan and Andrew. I really do feel confident in Stephen too, but the man pissed me off hardcore during that Raffy vote, so I'm removing him from my mind for the time being....... So yea, we'll see how I can move forward. I'm probably going to try to start talking to Katie and see if I can bloom a relationship there, that can be as salvagable as her relationships with the three other people on this tribe, who have VERY MUCH been a part of this community for a way longer time than I have, which is what makes me nervous, but I've gotta believe my relationships will get me there. I can tell I'm not playing the most EXCITING game, but I'm really REALLY attempting this Under the Radar, and then coming out HARD at merge strategy, just so my premerge game can be a bit aloof, and then I can try to really make shit happen come merge. That's about all I can think about right now, because I'm always playing to win, but I can admit my social game isn't as up to par as it normally is.
I'm just going to say this, if I go to Outcast Island, I am 99.99% sure I'm going to be the person they gun for. Chrissa and my past is horrific. I voted out Raffy and my social game with him was piss poor My only interaction with Bryan was on Crossroads, when we voted out Emily, and Emily brought Bryan to that tribal, and Bryan and Emily were the only ones who didn't know what happened. And then there's Tim, who is a nice guy and all, and would probably be most likely to consider working with me, but I doubt it. With this combination of people on Outcast right now, I'd, for sure, be out of the game if I happened to go. Not like I'm thinking, at all, that I'm going this round, but next round? If Antione is there, and I'm about to vote HIM out too, I'd be screwed. I'm going to hope that they gun for Raffy on Outcast this round, and this frees up Tim, and maybe my relationship I can salvage with Chrissa or Antione. Idk, I'm just thinking of all sides of this and I'm NOT happy about it because my position ain't great :/
Once again, I feel it's either me or jay. Last time, I was on the wrong end of the stick. I hope that this time i'll get to have the strike!
Yay! we won. Me and carson are going to try and map out the idol places. We'll see how it goes this is a short round
Feels so good not to go to tribal. Its come at a great time to, hopefully this can mend any wounds between Carson Charlotte and me.
Yee, we won again. Being on a tribe that wins a lot is a new experience for me, I don't think this has happened since Taveuni.
I don’t think I said this but Charlotte is one of the fakest people I’ve ever met.
i dont feel like trying to understand deadlines so im just going to send stuff everyday because being striked out for lack of talking is very off brand. also i feel bad betraying one of my guys anotine who helped me rule outcast island... but JP is my dude and has never betrayed me in a game so I feel most comfortable following his lead.
jordan pines i will come to canada and kick you between the legs if you betray me in this game
I'm on a tribe of such shady people but I need to trust them. If I get blindsided tonight then I'm literally gonna hack into and delete all of their skypes.
I picked a winning swapped tribe? I'm fucking shook. Like the momentum of this swap could not end until I make the merge!!
nothing much has happened but winning immunity w such a low score was nice lol
Omg, I have a bad feeling that it might be me. Like I wouldn't be surprise if those people lied to me again. They probably know each other so well already and I'm like the new guy in the town. If I do NOT end up going home tonight, then it probably means that I'm in a good place in the tribe. I guess we'll see!
I am gay, i am a liar. Therefore I am a gay liar. Sorry antoine
So, back on Outcast, there is no one I want to be here. It's a true tragedy. However, I still hold the majority over here. No way will I be voted out in the tribal tomorrow. I have complete confidence in this group. Honestly, I'm just going to go with the flow since I do not have anyone I truly want gone. Tim being voted out may give me an edge (after all I still have 1/4 of an idol), but I think I can still use him, and get him to take me to the end. I got this!
I'm really bad at conferences now. So I'm really glad that we won that last challage cus man, my social game bows. BUT I guess me and Carson talked a little bit today I'd like to think k that me a rob, even though we're not really talking much, we are close enough not to vote each other out. I'm a little worried about jorden and Johnny. I'm pretty sure that the two of them, me and la and Stephen can get back together and make a 5. If not a y for a little bit with Charlotte. At least until we turn. The three of us turn on each other. LA definitely has Johnny, I think k I'll have jorden.... But who knows about that one. Then who knows about stephen.nust gotta keep winning and hoping that the others are good... Same as any other game.
this games going well-ish? talking more to people, doing good in immunities... i'm thriving! i wish i could think long term rn but i REALLY need to talk to andrew because he's probably the person i trust the most and i want our goals to line up. i dont have a longterm plan in this game. i need to be able to adapt really and i dont think i have the ability to plan a longterm boot order or alliance. my goal right now is to roll with the punches and what the game throws at me so im better equipped to win!
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