#i feel like im directing babies with the shape blocks

[tailss]

being the only trans person in your friend group be like: *asks friend to stop using slur* *explains why they shouldnt* *argues for ten minutes about why you should not support transphobes* *explains why they shouldnt* *asks friend to stop using slur* *tries to be nice about it* *uses yourself as example* *argues for ten minutes about why you shouldn’t use slur* *asks friend to stop using slur* 

[hoezhatelola]

His Girl

Baji Keisuke x Reader

warnings: dom!baji, sub!fem!reader, toman AU, degradation kink, size kink, gun kink, NSFW 18+, fingering, cunnilingus, idfk what else to put here

a/n: this was kind of rushed but i was suddenly motivated to write a baji smut so here you go all you horny readers :)

sorry if this sucks, terrible case of writers block lately. btw everyone’s aged up !

__________________________________________

everyone who knew baji knew that he was a man who kept his priorities straight. those priorities consisted of toman, his few friends, business, and ever since two years ago- you. despite what everyone assumed, you were okay with not being his first priority. it was normal for you to stay up til the latest hours of the night, awaiting his arrival. it was normal for you to wake up with a cold, empty spot beside you on the mattress.

you never bothered him about what it exactly was that he did inside of toman, or what his so called “business” really was. you knew he was a bit shady, but at the end of the day, when he’s pulling you closer into his chest at 4 a.m., breathing in your scent and peppering kisses onto your forehead, it didn’t matter.

everyone from moebius to valhalla knew that you were his girl. of course, there had been a few instances in the past where baji had to get his hands dirty and correct a few guys for looking at you in the way that only he can look at you.

despite what had become the norm, tonight was different. you were cozy on the couch in the apartment you shared with your boyfriend, a blanket wrapped around your form that was covered with only one of baji’s t-shirts and your lace undies. you sipped on your hot chocolate, slightly jumping as a weak knock sounded on the door.

you got up and went on your tippy toes to peek through the tiny hole, and as you expected you saw baji, his scratched up face and tired eyes looking downwards. your delicate fingers took care of all of the extra locks baji had installed, and you opened the door swiftly.

“finally! i was waiting for yo-” you froze as you looked up at him, his usually narrowed eyes now slightly wider and teary. “baby? what’s the matter?” you took your hand, much smaller than his own, and grabbed his arm to pull him inside before closing and locking the door behind him.

“s too much.. can’t do it ‘nymore…” he muttered, his head now collapsing onto your shoulder. you ran a hand through his black locks as he stood up straight, peering down at you with that same, sad and guilty look. you planted a kiss on his jaw and cupped his cheek. “what’s too much, my love?”

he only looked into your eyes, not speaking as his brows furrowed and a tear silently fell, staining his cheek. he brought his face closer and your lips connected, his tongue rapidly entering your mouth and exploring it with dominance.

“mmh… w-wait, aauh..” you mumbled into his mouth, trying to speak to him. with prior consent, both you and baji had agreed on a safe word and so, naturally, protests such as ‘wait’ or ‘stop’ or ‘slow down,’ meant absolutely nothing to him.

he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist, his hands resting under your thighs and slamming you down onto the bed that you shared. you looked up at him with lust-filled eyes, and his expression darkened as he bent down and tore apart your thighs.

“look at you…” he chuckled against your skin, nibbling on your inner thigh and running a finger along your clothed slit. “such a fucking mess for me already.” you could tell he was getting a kick out of you feeling embarrassed, and it was his sick way of making you feel good.

he looked up at you once more and you nodded before he tore apart your panties, hungrily eyeing your glistening womanhood that ached for his touch. the first warm lick against your sensitive bud caused you to shiver, and after enjoying your reaction he utterly devoured your pussy. two of his skilled fingers entered your hole without warning, causing you to gasp and arch your back in ecstasy.

the pink muscle continued to suck and flick at your clit, your core immediately tightening, the coil nearly snapping. “s so good… gon’ cum s-s-soon.” you purred, and he gripped your thighs even harder than before, lapping at your folds and chuckling into your pussy, the vibrations causing you to snap.

the coil became fully undone, your orgasm hitting you like a fucking bus, your legs shaking and a loud moan invading your room. “that’s my fucking girl. such a good little cumslut, yeah?” you mindlessly nodded in response, lost in bliss. you snapped back to reality when a small click could be heard, and a cold metal was pressed between your thighs.

in his slender hand you saw his gun, and you jumped up, pulling away. “relax, it’s not loaded... just looks so good next to that pretty pussy.” he rubbed the edge of it up and down your slit, and as you came down from your orgasm you sure as hell were ready for more. you needed more.

“i want you…” you said, making grabby hands in the direction of his dick. the gun slid into your mouth as you whimpered in response. “suck.” he ordered, and you knew better than to disobey him.

“you want what? my big cock in that tight cunt?” he grunted in your ear and you nodded, gagging over and over again on his gun as he continued to push it down your throat. you looked up at him beneath your lashes, your cheeks hollowing as strings of saliva ran down his hand. “fuck… don’t look at me like that.”

he unclasped his belt and looked down at you. despite his rough tone and usual severe degradation towards you, his eyes were asking for consent, to which you nodded. he positioned himself at your entrance and slowly slid in, inch by fucking inch. once you were stuffed full of his eight inches, he huffed and leaned in to your ear, thrusting once without warning.

you mewled loudly, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he chuckled, basking in the feeling off your velvety walls pulsating around him. “you’re a bigger whore than i thought… already screaming for me and i’ve barely,” he trusted once more as you moaned, “fucking,” and again he thrusted even harder, “started.”

“kei… s-slow down.” you gasped, clawing at his chest and leaving crescent shaped marks along his shoulders. “what?” he chuckled, “you want me to slow down?” he imitated you by slightly raising his voice before grabbing your neck and pulling you upwards, his lips now touching the shell of your ear. “can’t take my fat cock in that tiny little pussy, hah..”

baji paid special attention to the way your cunt sucked in his girth, groaning at the sight of your throbbing clit begging to be touched by him. he knew your body so well at this point that your walls had molded to shape him, that his eyes flickered to that one spot of your lower stomach, now staring at the bulge that gently bobbed up and down beneath your skin. hell, your pussy was made to take his cock so fucking well.

“f-fuck.. gah.. k-kei, im-” “close? already?” he cut you off. you nodded hastily in response, feeling that familiar warm sensation in your stomach that only he could make you feel. he pressed his hand down on your lower stomach, his dick twitching at the feeling of him inside of you. “fucking pathetic… you can barely last with me fucking your brains out, hm? you’re my dirty fucking slut, aren’t ya?”

you looked up and looked eyes with him, your expression begging to gush all over his length. “y-yes.. ‘m your sl-slut.” you choked on your own words, feeling the air knock out of your lungs as his tip brushed against your cervix and provided a pleasurable sting. baji felt your walls clench around him at his words.

“you dirty little whore… you like being degraded this much, hah?” you didn’t reply as drool seeped down your chin and tears of immeasurable pleasure pricked the corners of your eyes. “i’m fucking talking to you,” he said rather angrily, gripping your throat.

“s-sorry, ‘m gunna cum!” you said loudly, moaning into his sloppy kiss and looking into his eyes as he pulled away and squeezed your throat, cutting off your oxygen almost completely. “yeah? you’re gonna cum soon? gonna cum all over my big cock, right?” he replied with a question, and your vision began to blur.

the biggest orgasm of your life was now pooling in your stomach, and baji knew it too. a smug smirk crept its way onto his face as he cupped your breast and squeezed it gently with his free hand, the other one still lying on your throat. “y-yes… gon’ cum all o-over yer’ f-fat… agh.. cock.”

relaying back to baji that his cock was, in fact, huge was all it took for him to nibble at your shoulder and bring a thumb to your clit before rubbing sloppy circles over it. the coil then snapped, and your orgasm hit you like a crashing wave. you thrashed around underneath him, a pleasurable cry filling the room as your legs shook and he gripped your thighs, watching as your cunt tightened and gushed around him.

“that’s my girl… creaming around me. open wide.” he instructed, and you shivered at the nickname before parting your lips and opening your mouth. he pumped his length dry of all his salty cum that was now dripping down your chin, breasts, lips, and was on your tongue. “swallow.”

you then collapsed after doing as he said as he got up, collecting a warm wash cloth and a glass of water for you. he gently wiped you clean, planting small kisses across your body, all the way from your calves to your forehead. you had to admit, baji’s aftercare was good as hell. he then used a soothing lotion to rub circles on your back, legs, and neck, before handing you the glass of water and collapsing next to you.

your legs tangled together within the soft sheets and warm blankets, and your head was now on his chest as he tangled his fingers in your hair, running them through your locks. you looked up at him and planted two kisses on his jaw as he looked down at you in awe.

“you were so good for me.” he said, and wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you in even closer. the feeling of your warm, naked bodies resting against each other was enough to warm his entire heart, and the smile that you gave him as he kissed your forehead was enough to make his heart flutter.

“did you wanna tell me what happened tonight? you know… why you came back all scratched up and sad?” you asked, and he hesitated to reply before grabbing your hips and pulling you on top of him. his back now rested against the headboard, and he pulled you closer so that your foreheads were now touching.

“i wish…” he hesitated again, and you cupped his cheek in attempt to reassure him everything would be ok. “i wish we could spend more time together, so we could cuddle and go out that’s all.” your heart picked up the pace as your eyes widened and a smile spread across your lips.

“aah… you’re so adorable, kei.” you ruffled his hair and planted a kiss on his lips, his hands still gripping your bare hips. “i wish we could too… but i understand you’re busy.” his stomach dropped at your words, did you really think you weren’t more important to him than his ‘job?’

he took a hand and gently ran it up the side of your body, all the way to your cheek, staring into your eyes as if he was deep in thought. “you know you’re the most important thing to me, right?” you nodded in response, his heart aching at the realization that there was nothing he could do to improve the amount of time he actually got to see you.

“let’s just make the most out of the time we do have together.”

[shurisneakers]

harmless (viii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, protesting, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, gamer (derogatory), smidge of angst

Word count: 3.5k

A/N: listen idk what goes on at construction site and im too sexy to research so we’re going with my version of the world. hello. how are we all doing?

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

He doesn’t expect to see you on TV. 

In jail maybe, for something scandalous and completely unnecessary, but not TV.

But there you are, a sign board waving around furiously in your hand, voice in protest against the demolition of the community centre. You’re flipping the board back and forth to alternate between the messages you’ve scrawled on the cardboard.

You were among a few protesting, but clearly the loudest. 

He thinks that maybe he has the weekend off if you’re too busy fighting big corporations. He’d send his support even.

Until he zeroes in on the sign when it flips over, finally reading what it says.

You better get your ass here, sarge

And so he does.

Half the crowd had dipped by the time he arrived. You were there, still the loudest, but he couldn’t help but notice the lack of people as compared to an hour or two ago on TV. He supposed that justice could wait as long as it took to get lunch from the nearest café.

“I can’t stop you from protesting, y’know.” He’s a little wary of approaching your raging self. 

“Oh, hey Barnes. You got my message.” You break away for a second to scream a bunch of obscenities at the gigantic glass building before turning to him. “You wouldn’t be able to.”

“What’s your dumb plan then?” 

“First of all, it’s not dumb. It’s stupid. Put some respect on my technological genius.” You held up a finger. “Second of all, it’s not here.”

“Where is it?” 

“At the construction site.” You point down the road. “Come on.”

Right along the way you stop to chant another slogan. He waves his arm around meekly in support. He did, after all, have to stand up for what was right, but if his publicist saw him here she’d have an aneurysm. 

The construction site isn’t very far off. It’s adjacent to the community centre, which he assumes they’re going to tear down to make more space for whatever shitty commercial building was going to take its place.

There are already a few excavators and dozers there but no one to man them since it was lunch time. What garners his attention is the small silver plate that’s on the floor a few feet ahead in the direction you’re walking towards.

“Here.” You stop once it nears. “The plan.”

“Am I supposed to know what this is?” He lightly kicked at it, earning a smack on the arm from you.

“Stop that,” you scolded, “and look at it. It’s not hard to figure out.”

He narrows his eyes. There’s a small u-shaped piece of metal in the middle of the plate. “That’s a magnet.”

“Exactly.” You clapped your hands together in excitement. “The world’s strongest electromagnet.”

He looks around. The only possibly magnetic things are the cranes and excavators around him.

“You’re going to... stop the machines from moving ahead?” he hesitates in his deduction. 

“Yep. Can’t tear anything down if they can’t get to it first.” 

Bucky looks down.

“Does this thing even work?” He toes at it again. “It’s kinda small.”

“It works beautifully, stop kicking at it, you demon-”

“What happens if I step on it, huh?” He knows this would get on your nerves wonderfully. He raises his leg. “Do I get to go home for the day?”

“You’re such a little shit,” you whine, reaching for your back pocket. “Stop bullying my invention.”

“’m gonna squish it like a bug.” He’s only half kidding about that part. “I’m gonna-”

Before he can finish his sentence something yanks him down hard. His head nearly hits the ground before his right arm shoots out to break his fall.

"Woah there, don't go falling for me as yet.” 

“What the fu-” he begins, eyes locking on his metal arm that was pressed flat against the earth.

“I told you it works,” you say smugly. “Try crushing it now, Barnes. If you can even get off the floor.”

He tugs his hand but it’s firmly attached to the thing. No matter how or where he’s applying the effort, his limb refuses to move. He’s stuck.

“Turn it off,” he sighs. “You made your point.”

“No. Stay there.”

“Y/N, shut up and turn this off,” he groans, trying to find a better position rather than chin down on the ground.

“Lay there and rot. You deserve it for underestimating me.” You huff.

“I wasn’t underestimating you, Jesus Christ.” He really was planning to just step on it, but he had complete faith that it worked. 

When he doesn’t receive a reply, his gaze follows yours. Suddenly the crane looks a lot closer than it initially did. Awesome. 

“Those are moving towards me.” He picks up on the low groan and creak of metal.

“Yeah, they are.” You nod, one hand on your hip, watching them.

He didn’t think that getting crushed under construction equipment would be how his day went. 

“Not my problem,” you decide finally after a bout of silence. 

Now that simply wouldn’t do. 

Death was definitely a problem, but what was more important was that he was going to get a dust allergy from the mud. He could already feel the blocked nose and temperature incoming.

“Are you really going to waste this on me? Don’t you have a demolition to stop?” He manages to twist his body so that he’s lying on his back.

“Good point,” you squint into the distance at the whirring of the heavy machinery. Their owners wouldn’t be happy to find them missing from their original spot. “But I still can’t help you out.”

“You’re willing to sacrifice your-”

“I can’t help you out because I don’t have an off switch. Yet,” you add the last part in a hurry.

“Then when the fuck were you planning to build one?” He sits up, leaning on his elbow. The cranes weren’t a mini object on the horizon now; the closer they got, the faster they were starting to move towards him. 

“I don’t know, after they agreed not to take down the building?”

He could just detach his arm and come back for it later he but had no guarantee that you would stop here for the day or that the vibranium could withstand all that pressure. 

“You better make a switch right now and get me out of this, I don’t care how.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you grumbled, bending to assess how badly he was stuck. “You know, this thing runs really deep into the earth. It’d take forever to dig back up and then get you back to my lab and then build a switch.”

“How long?” He didn’t have a lot of time, clearly, but even generally he didn’t have the whole day to waste. He had a mission the next day. He had to put the fear of death into some Russians and bring some pirozhki back for Nat. 

“I don’t know,” you furrowed your eyebrows. “Too long for my schedule anyway, I have class prep to do.”

“Motherfucke- that thing’s like twenty feet away.” He’s worried about how you don’t look fazed at all when he points at the stupid machine.

He’s about to volunteer to detach his arm when he realises it’s definitely less than twenty feet now. He had a backup just in case. It didn’t move as smoothly, but who could tell the difference when a couple of tons of pressure was aiming for your face, and hell, if he explained his circumstances of the destruction of his arm to T’Challa-

“Okay, fine.” You reach into your backpack to grab something that looked like a wrist watch. It matched the one already around your hand. 

You reach over and clasp it around his hand before turning a dial on the side.

“You ready?” you ask, ignoring the large crane that was starting to charge towards you. 

“For what?” he replies, looking down at it. He can barely hear you over the sound of the whining of machinery.  

“Teleportation, baby.” You send him a big grin before slamming down on his watch.

“Huh-” His voice cuts off immediately. 

If there’s anything that can be said about teleportation, it’s that he feels like every atom in his entire body violently splits to float around briefly before suddenly rejoining again.  

The ground beneath him feels different, and it takes him a second to realise that he was on the floor of your lair. 

“What the fu-”

“Hello,” your voice comes from above him. 

“You can teleport.” It’s not difficult for him to look at you now without the sun in his face. His arm is still stuck to the magnet but since the giant rod it was attached to was no longer deep in the ground, he could lift the entire apparatus up relatively easily.

“What, like it’s hard?” You discarded your bag on the floor. “You good? Takes a while to get used to.”

He gives you a grunt in acknowledgement, shaking his arm to see if he had any luck. It didn’t budge.

“Come on, take a seat.” You gesture to a lab chair you’ve pulled up for him on the raised platform at the front of the room. He realises that this is the first time he’s properly seen what’s actually inside your lair.

There are various buttons that do God knows what, drawers and cabinets painted black, several computer screens and gigantic pillars of glass on either side of the set up that encapsulate some green bubbling liquid. There’s a giant television set up against the wall, divided into several screens.

“Whaddya think?” You do a small swoop of your arm to show off the place.

“Gamer,” he says simply, testing his luck.

“What did you just say to me?” you recoil instantly, disgust on your face.

“It’s a gamer set up.” He points a finger at the TV screen. He was told by Shuri to use it as an insult, but he wasn’t exactly sure why. It just felt appropriate. 

“Take that back right now.” You raise a finger accusatorially at him.

“No.” He was sticking with it even though he had no idea what exactly the context was.

“Fuck your arm,” you announce, throwing your hands up in surrender.

“Fuck your demolition then,” he replies simply, getting up from his place on the chair to leave with the thing still attached to him. 

He takes one step ahead before your voice rings out.

“Sit down, drama queen,” your voice calls from behind him. “God, you’re annoying.”

“You’re infuriating.”

“I’m the best part of your week,” you fire back, ”and also your only way out of this. Now sit down.”

He didn’t even need the second warning, he was already on the chair the first time around.

“I’m not going to build a switch to turn this off. It’d take too long,” you examine the piece of equipment with more gentleness than he was expecting, “I’m going to remove it instead. It’s gonna take a while, so you better get comfortable.”

“I’m not.”

“That’s so sad,” you say without any indication of wanting to help. 

He rolls his eyes.

You pull up next to him, welding glasses covering your face and the tool in your hand. 

He turns away when you start, making sure his face is not directly within its trajectory. 

He makes himself busy by looking around some more. There are details you’ve put into the place, materials that are non-flammable made up most of the architecture. It’s dramatic, sure, but somehow the designs and colours seemed to go together. It did look sinister, he’d give you props for that.

The space was quite big. It occurs to him only then that that’s how you manage to sneak up on him so often in the past. Everything clicked. Fucking teleportation.

“So,” your voice was raised to speak over the noise. “How’s it going?”

He decidedly doesn’t answer. His position is more than enough.

“Right.” You clear your throat. 

He takes to counting the tiles on the floor, figuring out how many were there from the raised platform to the wall of the entrance. 

“Not how you imagined your day to go, huh?” you continued despite his lack of response. “But some might say it’s a privilege to be spending the day with a cool, mad scie-”

“Are you going to keep talking?” he interrupts, losing his count on the floor.

“Yeah, duh,” you say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You got anything better to do?”

He didn’t. 

“What’s it like living with a bunch of superheroes?” You change course. He’s not sure if he’s really allowed to disclose top secret information. “I assume there’s a lot of protein shakes, talcum powder for the chafing-”

Then again, how much damage could you do by knowing that Steve preferred pancakes over waffles?

“It’s quiet,” he says. “Most of the time.”

“Save all your smart talking for the battlefield, huh?” 

He doesn’t reply. It’s quiet around the Tower. A lot of their energy goes towards missions and recuperating once they’re back. 

“You go on missions a lot?” 

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Boo, you whore,” you say with mock disappointment.

He got that reference.

“What’s your favourite food then?”

He scrunches his eyebrows.

“What?” The welding stops for a second while you look at him. “Don’t tell me that’s classified too.”

It’s not, he’s just never thought about it. 

“I don’t know,” he murmurs, “Pasta?”

“Vague, but I’ll take it.”

He used to boil a lot of pasta, from what he could remember of his days in hiding. Cheap and bought in bulk before he saved up enough to buy things like fruits. A lot of the times the amount of sauce he had access to was enough for maybe seasoning, not a whole component on its own. 

It’s one of the perks of being a free man in the 21st century he thinks, a steaming bowl of fettuccini drenched in sauce and garlic bread on the side. 

“What do you do in your downtime?”

“Nothing.” Well, he considers it to be a pass time and doing nothing is a full time gig. It takes effort to do nothing. He even has days dedicated to doing nothing, as suggested to him by his therapist.

“Really?” You sound a little surprised, although it’s hard to make out when you’re already speaking a lot louder than usual. “No shining your penny collection? No software update for this thing?” You tap at his arm. 

There really isn’t anything. Truth be told, he thinks he’s the most boring guy in the Tower. He sticks to himself, has a few succulents that he adores and occasionally watches trashy television. So then why are you so interested in him?

“You’re obsessed with me,” he says pointedly. “Why?”

You give a short laugh. “I think it’s the blue eyes, sarge, they’re really popping today. Gotta say, I’m loving this colour on you. Is it different from the black you wore last week? And from the one from the week before that?”

He looks down at his dark t-shirt and utility pants. He had other clothes but those were reserved for things that were not this.

“Or maybe it’s the grumpiness, I don’t know. I love it when someone shows absolutely no interest in me. Very sexy of you.” Oh jeez, you were going to continue. “Hell, maybe it’s the thighs-”

“Okay,” he interjects, feeling the need to count the tiles more than ever. He equates the heat in his neck from the welding going on beside him. 

The loudness of your laughter is clearer than the sound of metal on metal when you tug a large piece of the invention off. Things were moving fast. He could get back home to his Star Trek marathon and forget this day ever happened.

“You know, you’re more interesting than you think,” you pipe up casually. 

He doesn’t expect this and therefore he supposes he can’t stop the curiosity from enveloping his face. He hasn’t told you anything about himself, so then the inference you reached came out of nowhere.

Apparently, you take notice of the confusion on his face, even though he can’t see through the giant welding mask, because you let out a chuckle. 

“Oh, come on, really? You have no idea?” you ask lightly, pausing to see if he offers anything other than silence. “You’ve come back almost every week even though you know it’s a waste of your time, you always keep your promises and I know for a fact that if you wanted to stop me once and for all, you could have. But you’re not.”

He doesn’t realise you’ve stopped welding until you start again. Good, it gives him an excuse not to have to look at you after that. 

Frankly, he’s a little stunned.

You’re not looking at him, he can tell from his peripheral vision. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have a small crush on me.”

At that, he’s forced to roll his eyes out of instinct. Thankfully you do know better.

A few screws out later, another piece comes out. You inform him that’s it’s going to get trickier from there since the circuit was a little more intricate, a lot more time than the original few pieces. He can see his Star Trek marathon fade away in the distance.

You ask him a few more questions. Some he answers with silence, others maybe a tidbit here and there. 

“How’s dating now compared to the forties?”

“Strange.” He purses his lips in thought. “One guy asked for a gym date. Didn’t know that was a thing.”

“How’d that turn out?” you laugh.

“He didn’t ask for a second one.” His Bumble matches with girls somehow had gone down since he cut his hair, but he’s not too bothered. Not like there was a huge shortage. 

He likes cats, thinks the worst merchandise that they make is the stupid baseball card with his face on it, and doesn’t have social media for the sake of his sanity. He’s seen the thirst tweets. 

Clearly, he’s revealed his deepest, darkest secrets. Utterly classified material. But he doesn’t know anything about you other than your name, number, address, where you teach, what your hobby is-

“You, uh-” he hesitates, “You got a favourite food?”

Your hands hold still to hover above what they’re working on. You fight back a smile. “Sure do.”

He asks a few more questions. Shuts up when he feels his social battery drain. That’s enough for the next month, he thinks.

The sun’s dipped down beyond the horizon by the time majority of the work is completed. Both of you have taken a few breaks to fight the feeling of stiffness that was creeping into your joints. 

You scoff and tell him you’re not planning to poison him when he denies the offer of a soda. He doesn’t deter in his decision.

“How much to go?” He has a mission tomorrow that he’d really like to get some sleep in before. Waking up at 3am to get ready was the worst part of the job. 

“Basically done.” You roll your chair back, rotating your shoulder and stretching your fingers. “There’s just this little part that I can’t access from this angle. How good are you at hanging upside down like a bat?”

Fuck it, he sighs to himself, it was almost finished anyway.

Bucky stands up, tilting his neck to the side slightly before pulling at a small latch under his arm, one so tiny that you’d never make out was even there unless you knew it existed. The arm releases from his shoulder with a small click.

He offers it to you, a piece of your magnet still attached to it.

Your eyes are slightly wide. He raises his eyebrows.

You don’t say anything, just accept it and flip it to a position you were comfortable with. It takes only a minute or two for the sound of the last piece hitting the floor to reverberate through the hall.

You give a small cheer. He lets out a tiny exhale in equal parts fatigue and relief.

“So,” you drawl, handing his arm back to him, “you could have just done that the whole time.”

He doesn’t reply, just slides it back onto his shoulder. 

“You had the option of leaving your arm here and coming back later to get it.” 

He gives it a few shakes, opens and clenches his fist shut a few times to make sure everything is working.

“You wanted to talk to me.”

He gives you a deadpan look. “I was distracting you.”

“Bullshit,” you laugh.

“Believe what you must.” He shrugs, turning around. “My job here is done regardless.”

“Oh, I believe alright,” you call out from behind him as he walks towards the entrance of your lair. “I believe you’re a sneaky bastard, Bucky Barnes.”

He doesn’t stop himself from smiling at the overdramatic gasp you give when he flips you a middle finger. From the metal arm, too. 

Next part

[simplysimpingsimp]

Congratulations to Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba for being the only series with Zenitsu in it and Happy birthday to baby boy Zeni <3 the edit was made by me during my stats class (; sorry prof! I understood most of the lesson, don’t worry TT

🌻—————————————————————🌻

🌻Birthday wishes

Zenitsu x fem!Reader

Pronouns: she/her

TW: none

Set in modern times <3!

🌻—————————————————————🌻

Zenitsu whimpered, he’d woken up alone. He propped himself up on his forearms, golden eyes scanning the room for any trace of her. Y/n would usually be beside him, gently shaking him awake so that he wouldn’t be late to his school lectures or just so that he would get out of bed in general.

“Where could she be?” He questioned as he cupped his face with his hands, knees tucked into his chest.

He looked at his phone beside him, maybe she called or left a message.

Zenitsu grabbed a hold of it, pressing the home button only to see game, school and email notifications and his Lock Screen picture of Y/n on their most recent date.

He smiled sadly at the sight. She looked so beautiful illuminated by the golden city lights in the dark sky. That cheery smile on her face that made his heart flutter and cheeks warm.

He sighed softly as he got out of bed, and got ready for the day. Zenitsu looked around the apartment they shared and found no sign of her.

It was as if she vanished, but he felt some relief from his panic at the sight of her phone, keys and wallet not in their usual spot.

“Maybe she had an exam to take…” he murmured to himself, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

He reached for his phone in his pocket and dialed her number.

“Hello?” Her voice resounded

“N/n!!! Y-“ he was about to continue until he heard the sound of his own laugh.

“Sorry! N/n is busy taking care of me right now,” Zenitsu heard his own voice speak loudly.

“I’ll call back soon! Ze-Zenitsu don’t do that!” He heard the sound of her laugh begin until it got cut off by the dial and beep.

He sighed and hung up, canceling the voicemail.

Soft steps and knocking filled his ears and he practically floated to the door expecting Y/n to be behind it. He flung it open but was met with the sight of Tanjiro’s smiling face with a box in his hands and Inosuke holding a gift bag.

“Happy birthday Zenitsu!” Tanjiro spoke excitedly as he handed him the box.

“Happy birthday Monitsu,” Inosuke spoke proudly as he pushed the bag into his chest, “I got you the best present by the way!”

Zenitsu’s large smile dropped into a smaller one. He had forgotten his own birthday. His hands took a hold of the two gifts from his friends as he placed them on a chair nearby.

Tanjiro and Inosuke looked at each other and nodded, a mischievous smile on both their faces as Inosuke dragged Zenitsu along and away from his home with Tanjiro following behind after securing the apartment door with its lock.

Zenitsu screamed and flailed his arms around as Inosuke threw him over his shoulder and carried him until he shoved him into the back seat of Tanjiro’s car.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH BOTH OF YOU?!?!” The golden eyed young man yelled as Tanjiro drove away from the parking lot, a laugh escaping his lips as Inosuke crossed his arm proudly.

The pair drove him around the city treating Zenitsu to snacks and whatever things he wanted.

“Have any of you heard from Y/n?” Zenitsu asked, his voice saddened and gaze downcast as he walked in between Tanjiro and Inosuke.

Inosuke and Tanjiro glanced at each other. Tanjiro placed a hand on Zenitsu’s shoulder, his voice soft, “I haven’t heard from her today. But don’t worry! I’m sure she’s just fine.”

“Yeah there’s no way anyone would think of bothering her aside from those dudes that circle her,” Inosuke laughed as he placed a hand on his free shoulder.

It clicked in his head.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH,” Zenitsu screamed as he gripped his hair, earning the stares of other people.

“Y/N IS ALL BY HERSELF WITH NO ONE TO PROTECT HER!!! QUICK WE HAVE TO GO SAVE HER FROM THOSE CREEPS THAT LOOK AT HER,” he yelled, tears brimming his eyes and a reddened tint on his cheeks as he gripped onto Tanjiro’s shirt.

A disturbed look formed on Tanjiro’s and Inosuke’s face as they watched his panicked state.

“DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!” He whined loudly.

Tanjiro took a quick glance at his phone, a smile on his face. He nodded in Inosuke’s direction, mouthing discretely, ‘it's go time’.

Inosuke understood as he threw Zenitsu over his shoulder again, a loud laugh erupting from the green eyed young man as he and Tanjiro began to run in the direction of where he had parked the car.

It was dark out, the sky becoming a smokey midnight blue and purple with faint gray string like clouds blocking the light of the emerging stars. Zenitsu gripped onto the head cushion of Tanjiro’s seat as he urged him to drive faster.

Inosuke reached behind him, tying a blindfold across Zenitsu’s eyes.

“WHAT THE HELL INOSUKE?!?” Zenitsu screeched as he was about to remove the blindfold.

“IF YOU TAKE IT OFF IM TELLING Y/N THAT EMBARRASSING THING YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!” Inosuke threatened loudly, matching the volume of Zenitsu’s screams.

A loud crying sound erupted from Zenitsu, “DONT TELL HER!”

It was a miracle that Tanjiro was driving perfectly, his poor ears were getting destroyed by the two velociraptor-like screeches and screaming battle occurring on either side of him.

Zenitsu’s cries became soft whimpers as he heard the car come to a stop. Inosuke helped him out and carried him up the stairs.

Soft music filled his ears as they approached the front door. Inosuke set him down, Tanjiro’s soft knocks on the door resounded. The door opened quietly, quiet enough to not even reach his ears.

The trio stepped into the apartment, a warm ambience and the scent of vanilla filled the air.

He felt a familiar pair of hands reach behind his head, gently untying the blindfold. His eye sight adjusting to the sight of Y/n with minimal make up and in the sun yellow dress he had given her, a yellow flower crown on her head.

“Happy birthday Zeni,” her voice was soft and sweet, making his heart pound against his chest.

The apartment had been decorated with yellow and orange balloons floating and littering the ground. Star shaped streamers hung from the ceiling with golden fairy lights trickling down. A beautiful yellow frosted cake sat in the middle of the table with his favorite meal ready to be served.

“Thank you guys,” Y/n spoke happily as they nodded with happy smiles on their faces. She handed them both goody bags and elegantly packed food as they had agreed upon in their deal.

Tanjiro and Inosuke high fived each other as they quietly left, Tanjiro closing the door behind him.

“I’m sorry for making you worry,” she spoke sheepishly with a light blush, “Tanjiro was keeping me updated throughout the day.”

He remained quiet for a second.

“Zenitsu?” She questioned softly as her hand found its way to his cheek.

He pulled her into a tight hug, his cries filling her ears, “WAAAAAHHH!! N/N YOURE TOO SWEET! AN ANGEL! A GODDESS! A BEAUTIFUL GODDESS! EVERYTHING! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU,” he nuzzled his cheek into her head as he cried.

She laughed softly as she returned the embrace, an arm gently wrapping around his neck while her other hand wiped away his streaming tears, “No crying,” her voice sweetly spoke.

“Happy birthday Zeni, I’m so happy that I got to celebrate your birthday with you even though it’s a little late. I just wanted it to be a good one for you,” her thumb gently caressing his cheek.

His hand enveloped hers, “It’s already the best one, because you’re here with me,” his voice adorably soft as the cute floral aura seemingly formed around him.

She felt her face warm, “I love you Zenitsu. I hope to spend a lot more birthdays with you.”

“I love you too Y/n,” he brought his face closer to hers.

Unconsciously, they pressed their lips together in a kiss. His kiss was soft and adorable as the warmth from his face radiated onto her skin. The softness of her lips left him feeling gushy and bubbly as he felt her arms around him.

They pulled away from the kiss, both their faces reddened.

“Well let’s go eat, birthday boy!” She mused happily as she guided him to the dinner table.

They ate dinner happily chatting away about Zenitsu’s whole trip with Y/n apologizing for tricking him and having Inosuke be the muscle of the gang.

She stood and came back with matches to the light the candles on the cake she had made for him. Carefully she lit each one, a soft smile on her face as she glanced and saw the happy expression on Zenitsu’s face.

“Make a wish Zeni,” she spoke softly as she got her camera to take pictures of him beautifully illuminated by the warm candle light.

He closed his eyes as a soft smile formed on his lips, wishing in his mind,

“I hope that one day you’ll marry me and that I can always make you happy, because I love you Y/n.”

It was one of his best birthdays.

ᴇɴᴅ

🌻—————————————————————🌻

ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ᴢᴇɴɪᴛsᴜ 09.03! ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ғᴇᴇʟ ғʀᴇᴇ

ᴛᴏ sᴇɴᴅ ɪɴ ᴀsᴋs/ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛs/ɪᴅᴇᴀs/ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ! sᴇᴇ

ʏᴀʟʟ sᴏᴏɴ <3

-ᴊᴜɴᴏ

[dirtyoatmeall]

Good for you

A/N: Wow sorry I've been gone!! I suddenly got back into reading and suddenly found myself in the middle of multiple series! anywayz, I finally listened to Olivia Rodrigo's new album so here is a songfic for good for u. I ended up going in a completely different direction than I had in mind. It's also long as fuck. I proof scanned it, but it's like 18 pages, as always sorry for the incorrect grammar, I do what I want. Call me Maybe will be getting one soon as well :)

Pairing: ex!Kageyama x reader, foreshadowed Atsumu x reader

Genre: angst? hurt/comfort? Its sad for pretty much most of it.

Word Count: 10.3k (im so sorry)

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and drinking, implied adult themes, all characters are 21+ !!, detailed breakup. 16+ only por favor

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily. You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks.

Your phone chimed, alerting you of a new text, you reached for it on the side table, pausing the movie you were watching. It was a message from Shoyo and an image: ‘I’m sorry, I figured it’d be better if I told you instead of finding out on Twitter.’ Your brow pinched, what could that mean? You unlocked your phone to open the text.

The pinch deepens as you zoom in on the picture, eyes beginning to prickle with tears. It was a photo- most likely taken by a fan or paparazzi- of Tobio, your boy-, ex-boyfriend. He was with a woman, she seemed slightly familiar, probably a model or something along those lines. Your face heated and shame burned in your chest, the embrace they were in looked so intimate; private, that it seemed wrong to look. You deleted the image and left Shoyo on read for now; you’d reply when you’re in a better headspace.

It had only been a couple of weeks and he had already moved on, meanwhile, you were just starting to not cry at the little reminders of him scattered about your apartment. He hadn’t even come to get his stuff. You sniffle and walk over to the wall to your left; the picture wall- and gently take one of the photos off, smiling faintly at the memory it brings to the surface.

Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world?

The sun filtered through the blinds, casting a soft glow around the room. Groaning, you squint at the brightness before rolling over. Your eyes find blue ones, startling you slightly. He chuckles softly, voice deep and gravelly with sleep; sending heat through your body. “you’re so jumpy in the morning.” he whispered in the otherwise empty apartment.

You roll your eyes and let him pull you into his chest, listening to his heartbeat and his fingers traced lazy shapes into your hip. “Shut up, you know it takes me a day or two to adjust after you’ve been gone.”

You meant for the words to be light; not expecting the emotion you heard behind them. He sighs, arm winding tighter around your waist as he kisses the top of your head. You bring your head up to meet his gaze and shift in his arms, frown tugging on your lips. “’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”

He sighs again, shaking his head softly. “You don’t have to apologize for anything, I should, for never being home, missing holidays and-“ You put a hand against his lips silencing him, brows drawn tightly together.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for either. I knew what I was getting into when we got together, it didn’t bother me in school and it doesn’t bother me now. I’d much rather you live out your dream than being stuck here with me all the time.” You feel his mouth open to object, but your hand stays firm. “I’m serious Tobio, I mean every word.” He nods against your hand and you release him. You flush slightly at the open emotion in his gaze. He pulls you into a kiss, murmuring against your lips. “I don’t know how I got so lucky with you, I promise I’m gonna give you the world.”

And good for you, I guess that you've been workin' on yourself. I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped

A few days later you meet Shoyo for lunch, a new onigiri place where he apparently knows the owner. He sighs as he sets down his menu, your eyes snapping back your own, pretending like you’ve been mulling it over this whole time. “Alright, go ahead and ask.”

You look up from your menu, feigning innocence. “Hm? Sorry I wasn’t paying attention.” He rolls his eyes and raises an eyebrow. You hold his gaze for a few moments before your shoulders sag in defeat. Your eyes fall to the table as you pick at the corner of the laminated menu. He gives you a minute to collect your thoughts before he places his hand atop yours, a sad smile gracing his features.

“(Y/N), it’s normal to want to know how he’s doing.” You chew your lip and mumble, “Well he’s obviously doing good since he already moved on.”

He continues as if you hadn’t spoken. “He started going to that therapist you recommended a day or so after,” he pauses, trying to gauge where your mind is. You’re meeting his gaze, and he can see you got what he was implying so he continued. “He’s been going consistently; says it’s really helped him.” You nod, blocking out his next words; too busy thinking about how you’re going to find a new therapist.

Now you can be a better man for your brand new girl

As you eat, you think over his words. You swallow and take a deep breath, trying to instil confidence in yourself. “Are they… good together?” Your voice comes out softer than intended and you inwardly cringe. He smiles faintly and nods. “They are.” You nod in understanding and turn your focus back to your meal.

Well, good for you. You look happy and healthy, not me-If you ever cared to ask

You knew it was inevitable, your apartments aren’t that far apart, you just wished it wasn’t so soon.

You were grocery shopping for the week, trying to figure out how many oranges to get before settling on 4 with a sigh, you toss them into your cart, turning around to see blue eyes at the other end.

You inhale sharply, your gazes met and he was too close for you to run away, leaving only one option. You were suddenly glad you met Shoyo for breakfast this morning, you were dressed up a bit, but you weren’t so glad when you became queasy. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped, letting it fall shut. You feel your face flush with heat and you duck your head, mumbling a soft “sorry!” and move to continue down the aisle, hoping he’d let you go.

Those hopes were crushed with the hand that gently captured your elbow, halting your escape as he turned you to face him. You were silent for a moment before he realized he was still gripping your elbow, dropping his hand to his side. You crossed your arms around your middle, trying to look- be smaller, small enough to get away. Though the rational side of you knew it wouldn’t happen, that you’ve known each other too long to simply stop. So you raised your gaze, uncurling your arms and bringing your shoulders back to at least look the part of an old friend caught by surprise, smiling as you spoke.

“Oh, Kageyama! I didn’t see you there, how are you?” He cringed ever so slightly at the use of his last name, filling you with a sick sense of pride that weighed uncomfortably in your chest. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a brunette coming up to him, not noticing you as she surveyed the list in her hand.

“Babe, did you find the oranges? Oh, remind me to pick up my birth control at the phar-“ Her eyes widened as she noticed you; cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment. Unfazed, Kageyama snorted softly, wrapping an arm around her waist before turning back to you. “This is Yumi, babe, this is (Y-) uh, (L/N).” You smiled and waved, which she mirrored, going to speak but instead was interrupted by you, who had decided to spare all of you of the awkwardness of prolonging the conversation. “It’s nice meeting you Yumi, and it was nice seeing you Kageyama, but I gotta run.”

They nodded and waved in farewell as you continued down the aisle, letting out a deep breath before heading into the next aisle. You needed more alcohol.

Good for you. You're doin' great out there without me, baby. God, I wish that I could do that.

You saw them a few more times during your shopping trip. You had wanted to leave right away, but you had been putting off groceries for too long, and leaving your cabinets and fridge almost barren. Thankfully they were always far enough where if you accidentally made eye contact a smile in passing was warranted enough.

As you contemplated between mini pizzas or a large pizza, you heard a loud giggle from further down the aisle. Your head turned towards the noise instinctively and you saw them at the end, near the ice cream, which you hoped they moved soon because that was next on your list. They were laughing, her arms around his waist as she looked up at him, he had an arm around her, resting on her hip as he met her gaze and you felt your chest tighten and an emotion you definitely did not want to name and wanted to shove down, down far enough to forget it. They looked the part of smitten lovers, and you decided you didn’t need ice cream all that bad and grabbed the mini pizzas before heading to checkout, continuing to ignore the emotion swelling, weighing down your chest and moving up to your throat.

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night cryin' on the floor of my bathroom

You took a deep, shuddering breath that broke halfway into a gasping sob. The emotion was suffocating, burning in the back of your throat and pulsing against your skull as you hugged your knees to your chest, the cold press of the tub against your back doing nothing. You tried to take a breath again but your chest was too tight, it was constricting your lungs, pushing hot tears down your cheeks and pulsing harder as with the ringing in your ears.

You could faintly comprehend the door to the bathroom opening, but didn’t look up as someone wrapped their arms around you, pulling you to them; the feel of fabric twisting in your grasp somewhat grounding as they smoothed down your hair, their words muffled under the ringing. You couldn’t think about the tears and who knows what else dampened their shirt, couldn’t think of anything except the emotion weighing so heavy in your chest you were positive it was going to break your ribs, break through you and continue down, down, deep underground.

You have no clue how long you were there with them, not even sure how long before they arrived. They shifted their arms to pick you up, and you let them, not even moving your hands from their place on the shirt, you were sure they were glued there, the tears acting as an adhesive. Sobs still racked your frame as you were set down, tucked under the covers of your bed before the person laid next to you, resuming their soothing touches as the weight in your chest slowly lightened, gradually releasing its grip on your lungs as the ringing quieted, allowing you to hear the slew of soothing words softly coming from the person next to you.

But as the emotion lessened its grip on you, tiredness swiftly replaced it, the pounding at your temples only encouraging the darkness to weigh you down, until it settled over you like a blanket, your fingers laxing enough for them to fall back to your side. Your breathing slowed, the occasional hiccup breaking the silence as you slept.

But you’re so unaffected, I really don’t get it, but I guess good for you

Shoyo let out a deep breath as he gently shut the door to your bedroom behind him, shoulders slumping with exhaustion when he heard the latch click. He dragged a hand down his face, combing his fingers through his hair as he went to your kitchen to finish putting away your groceries, throwing away what was defrosted before collapsing on your couch, pulling out his phone, debating whether or not to text the person likely responsible for your tears. Turns out he didn’t even have to, they had already called him and left a message about an hour ago, a little after Shoyo first got to your apartment. He brought the phone up to his ear as he pressed play.

“Hey, I ran into (Y/N) at the store today, you know I thought you might be right; that our friendship ended with the breakup, but it was like nothing had changed! She even met Yumi though Yumi didn’t notice at first and started talking about her birth control,” a laugh, “I don’t know why you were so worried, she seems perfectly fine. I was thinking about having a little get together in a few weeks, Yumi really wants to meet everyone from Karauno, you both should come! Oh one sec, what? Okay! Sorry, I gotta go, Bye.”

Shoyo slid down the couch slightly, groaning as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Really? He was glad you stocked up on alcohol at the store because after hearing that, he needed a drink.

Well, good for you, I guess you're gettin' everything you want. You bought a new car and your career's really takin' off.

Two weeks later you sat on your couch, eyes focused on the match televised. You tell yourself you’re watching the tournament to see who Shoyo will end up going against; if you can give them any pointers, though a part of you knows it’s a lie.

At the end of the match, the Adlers, no, To- Kageyama, had scored the winning point, securing a spot in the semi-finals. You lifted the remote to change the channel, but you froze as the camera zoomed in on the edge of the court, where you watched Yumi jump into his arms, he threw his head back laughing as he spun her around before kissing her. You could hear the commentators discussing the game after making a cheeky comment but you tuned it out. You watched them walk off the court, snapping out of the trace as soon as the camera cut to the other team. You quickly turned it off. Taking a deep breath in your silent apartment.

You were going through your Instagram feed when you came across a post from Tobio. It was him and Yumi in front of a new car, kissing. You noticed it had multiple pictures, and swiped through, all of them of the couple. The last one was the most recent, earlier today, in fact, you recognized the jersey of the other team in the background. You part of the caption, deciding to scroll past before scrolling back up to read the long paragraph that was pretty much a love letter to Yumi. You bit your lip and liked it, cursing afterwards, you didn’t want him to know you still followed him. You debated unfollowing but decided against it, it’d only look weirder if you had liked a post and weren’t following him. You couldn’t get his expression out of your head, he looked so happy.

It's like we never even happened. Baby, what the fuck is up with that?

Over the next few days you received multiple texts from Kageyama, updates on his family; that they were asking about you, wanting you to visit, an invitation to a small gathering they were having next week, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Yachi were in town and he wanted to introduce Yumi to everyone. And several attempts to start a conversation.

You replied to all of them, thanking him for the update, politely declining the invitation; using work as an excuse, and you halfheartedly tried to keep up with the conversations until it got to be too much. It was like nothing happened, like he hadn’t suddenly broken up with you, after almost 7 years together. There were times you wanted to remind him, but decided against it. You didn’t want to be the bitter ex, you wanted to move on, like he had.

And good for you, it's like you never even met me

You think Shoyo had a talk with him.

After it all became too much, the media, the texts, the times he tried to call you, you told Shoyo. He was furious, ignoring your pleas to just leave it be as he left your apartment.

Later that night he came back, less angry and with takeout. When you had asked where he went he just smiled and told you not to worry about it. You watched movies the rest of the night. When you awoke the next morning there were no texts from Kageyama, and nothing on social media. Your nosiness got the best of you and you looked him up, only to furrow your brow as the results came up blank. You checked the other social media you had each other on and couldn’t find him anywhere. You didn’t dare text him, just in case, but it was obvious- he had blocked you, on everything.

There was an emotion curling in your chest, but you couldn’t quite name it. You didn’t know how to feel about it, so you stayed in bed for a few more hours before migrating to the couch. Shoyo didn’t come over that night, and you hated that you were slightly relieved.

Remember when you swore to God I was the only person who ever got you?

You sighed, still slightly out of breath and damp with sweat, snuggling into the body next to you regardless, smile stretching your lips. He tightened his arm around your waist, petting your hair as he shifted onto his side, bringing you closer and tangling your legs together. You wrapped your arms around his neck loosely, softly kissing his throat, right below his adam's apple before resting your face against his collarbone. He shuddered and drew you impossibly closer. “I know I don’t say it as often as I should, but I love you (Y/N), so much. I swear sometimes I feel like you’re the only person in the world who understands me. Ugh, that sounded so cliché.” You snorted as he slightly shook with laughter. “I love you too Tobio.” You brought your head up for a tender kiss before the two of you settled into a peaceful slumber.

Well, screw that, and screw you. You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do

You awoke the following morning with a hollow ache in your chest, your eyes burned but nothing came. You don’t know if it was good that the tears never came, but the hollowness settled heavily in you, it seemed to be all around you, weighing down the air equally. You were on autopilot the whole day, not fully there.

You blinked at the chime from your phone and raised your brows at the time, and your eyes widened at the name in your notifications. You quickly opened the text and looked at the image 2,3,5 times. It was a selfie, only the top part of Yumi’s face was visible, she must’ve been taking it, having to have it out enough to get Kageyama and all of his family in the frame, everyone smiling brightly. The typing bubble popped up for a few seconds before it disappeared and was replaced by a small message. You read it over and over before biting your lower lip. This is when the tears would normally come, when they’d be expected and yet they didn't. The burn was there, the lump in your throat but nothing else except the hollow pulsed in your chest. You didn’t think that was a good sign.

From Tobio:

We miss you! The kids keep asking when you’re going to come to play again. We love you, and you’re always welcome to visit. -Miwa~

Well, good for you. You look happy and healthy, not me if you ever cared to ask

You decided not to tell Shoyo about the picture, after all, it was his sister who sent it. He sent an apology the next day and you quickly dismissed it, asking him to tell her thanks and to tell everyone hello for you and that you hoped they had a great trip.

He unblocked you later that day. You assumed it was because of your text, he probably thought everything was fine now, that little bump in the road passed and things were back to normal again. And you tried, you tried so hard to go back to the person you were before. Fake it ‘till you make it was something you lived by, and you certainly were doing a great job faking it, but the ache in your chest told you that you hadn’t made it yet.

Good for you, You're doin' great out there without me, baby

You always kept up with the volleyball news and media, now for just Shoyo, but it was impossible to not see Adlers updates, and as MSBY’s rival you felt you needed to keep up. They were a force to be reckoned with, win after win; tournament after tournament they were at the top, MSBY one of the few to keep up. You sent him a congratulatory text after his last win, if he didn’t want to leave your friendship then you’ll try your hardest not to either, even if it hurts.

God, I wish that I could do that

Well, that lasted about 2 weeks. It’d been about 2 months since Kageyama broke up with you. You texted occasionally, most of them short conversations. They used to be longer, but you knew that to really get over him, you couldn’t be his best friend like before, you had to distance yourself. Shoyo wanted you to block him, even if just for a few more months, so you can move on quicker, but you disagreed. Your lives were so intertwined it wasn’t possible to not see him or hear about him at least once a week, usually in the form of sports journalism.

You laughed at Tsukishima’s joke, choking on the margarita you were in the middle of drinking, causing the others to laugh at you. Everyone was miraculously in town this week and demanded that you all hang out all week. Yachi stayed at Hinata's apartment since he had a roommate, and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi stayed at yours, though everyone decided to congregate at your apartment, the former two falling asleep on your couch and after the third night in a row, you convinced them to just stay. Hinata packed a bag and slept on your futon, Yachi slept in your bed with you, and the last two shared your guest bedroom.

While they all swore it was a mere coincidence everyone was in town, you had a strong theory that Hinata invited everyone down to stay with you, since in 3 days was what would’ve been your 7 year anniversary with Kageyama. They did their best to keep you distracted, going out to clubs, having movie marathons and game nights that lasted until dawn. You were filled with immense gratitude for that, and you made sure to let them know it. You were glad your little group was able to stick together, even if the shadow of the empty seat at the table grows with each passing day.

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night cryin' on the floor of my bathroom

You almost made it. Everyone stayed in today, keeping a careful eye on you all morning, until you got a call from your mother. Your parents lived in the countryside, they didn’t have great reception out there, even if they did they’d keep the single landline they have now. They called every so often, for holidays or updates on health and family members. The last time you talked to them was about 6 months ago. You head into your bedroom before you answer, a little worried about what might be going on, you knew your father’s health was declining, could something have happened? You took a deep breath and accepted the call, bringing your phone to your ear. “Hello? Mom?”

It takes a second before she replies, probably trying to get your father to stand next to her. “(Y/N) sweetie, sorry it’s been so long, it’s been busy down here and since your father can’t do a whole lot anymore, it’s been taking longer to keep the farm in shape.” You can hear your father grumble something in the background and you can imagine your mother rolling her eyes.

“Nevermind that! We were calling to congratulate you and Tobio on your anniversary, that’s today right? 7 years, I hope you know how lucky you are dear, these days relationships just aren’t lasting like they used to, but I’ve always known you two would stick through, I still do. Hopefully one of these days I’ll get a call about a ring? Or maybe some grandbabies?” She giggled on the other end, going on to talk about her and your father’s relationship, not paying attention to if you’ve replied or not, and you haven’t, you’re- you’re- you jolt out of whatever trance you were in to find yourself on your bathroom floor, back against the tub, your mother still chattering away in your ear, though you can’t hear her.

She’s right. Today is- would’ve, been 7 years. A flurry of emotions roars to life in your chest and you feel the familiar burning and grip start to take hold. You clear your throat, interrupting her story.

“Uh mom, me and Tobio aren’t together anymore. I’m sorry, I meant to call earlier, but there’s a lot going on. I actually have to go, I promise I’ll call later okay? I might be able to get away from work in a few weeks to visit. Love you.”

You ended the call, guilt joining the mix, you had completely forgotten to tell your mother, her words stirring the pot of emotions and memories in your gut as they rose into your chest, filling your lungs, spilling into your throat into your nasal cavity, behind your eyes and into your skull. You slackened your hold on your phone, and it tumbled onto the tile. You choked against the burning in your throat, pressing your palms into your eyes, trying- uselessly- to stop the slideshow of memories.

He had been your best friend, your longest crush, your first- well, everything. You truly thought you would be spending the rest of your life with him, travelling the world as he plays volleyball, eventually settling down and buying a house somewhere, anywhere. Marriage, a cat, maybe a dog, and kids. You never once thought the father of your future children would be anyone but Kageyama Tobio. Apparently, he thought differently. Against your will, the night he ended everything played back in your vision.

You heard the door close as you finished up dinner, a smile stretching wide on your face as you imagined his reaction. You spent the week learning how to make this dish, an old family recipe from his grandmother that he apparently adored and ate every time he visited home without fail. After years of watching her make it, you’d think you would have a good idea of how but you were naïve to think so. You finish plating the dishes and setting up the table, brows pinched in confusion, he hadn’t come to greet you yet, which he always does. You shrug it off, he might’ve had a tiring practice, hopefully the food makes up for it.

You pad down the hallway, thinking he jumped straight in the shower. You stop in the doorway of your shared bedroom; He was sitting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands as his elbows dig into his knees. Worry and confusion rose; what was wrong? Was practice that bad? You don’t try to mask your steps towards him, though he flinches all the same when you lay a hand on his shoulder, quickly withdrawing it. You sink to your knees in front of him, gingerly holding his wrists as you speak softly.

“Hey babe, what’s wrong? Did you have a bad practice? Why don’t you tell me about it over dinner, I got everything at the table.” He sighed deeply, sagging further, like the weight of the world weighed down on him. Your concern grew and you squeezed his wrists in a silent question. He took a deep breath and sat up, you let your hands fall away but he caught them, cradling them in his grasp, pity and guilt swirling in his glassy gaze as it met yours.

You sat up on your knees, why in the world would he look at you like that? “Tobio? What’s wrong, baby you have to tell me so I can help, you gotta let me in.” You were pleading at this point. He so rarely showed this much sadness, you were sick with worry, mind going to the worst-case scenario. He squeezes your hands, bringing them up to his lips. He keeps them there for a moment, his eyes shut, brow drawn tight.

He brings them back down to his lap and lets out another sigh, meeting your gaze again. You can see the conflict on his features bright as day. “(Y/N), I’ve been so lucky to have you in my life, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to pay back what you’ve given me. I’m truly, truly grateful and you've been one of my longest friends, one of my best friends. Which is why- why-“

He lets out a shuddering breath gaze dropping, tightening his grip around your hands. Your brow is pinched deeply, eyes searching his features for any sign of what could be going on. He takes a breath, trying to calm himself before continuing, and when he meets your gaze you no longer see the guilt, you see a wall you worked so hard to bring down. You open your mouth to speak, but he cuts you off. “You are one of the most important people in my life, which is why I have to do this. I can’t keep doing this, prolonging the inevitable only makes it more painful and the last thing I want to do is hurt you. But, (Y/N) I can't keep this up any longer, I thought- I thought it might pass, if I kept going along, pretending like everything is fine, when it’s not.” Your heart drops, no, it can’t be, what does he mean?.

“Everything is fine Tobio, what are you talking about? What are you saying, I-I don’t understand.” The emotion thickens your voice and his face falls as he sees the tears gather in your eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I loved you so, so much. I promise, I loved you more than anything, so much it hurt.” The tears are escaping both your eyes. You want to get out of his grasp but his hands only tighten around yours, like a lifeline. You suppress a sob bubbling up to speak, the world tumbling softly from your quivering lips. “Did?”

A hand touching your shoulder tears you from the memory. You’re aware of the hot tears streaming down your face, of the tight sobs wracking your frame, ripping from your throat against your will. You feel hollow, the ache grows and pulses until it’s all you feel, grief rising to meet it. You blink the tears away, to look around the room, you hadn’t recognized it right away, still disoriented from the memory. You see your friends, concern and in some cases, anger, in their gaze as they hover. You were surprised to find Tsukishima was the one at your side, the one who had pulled you from the memory turned nightmare. Your lip wobbles and he pulls you into his arms, embracing you as you cry into his sweatshirt, much like you had to Hinata weeks ago.

You’re vaguely aware of hushed voices around you, the rumble of Tsukishima’s voice oddly soothes you. You can hear Shoyo behind you, you think you hear him say your mother’s name, was she calling again? The thought slips from your mind as quickly as it came. You sat in your bathroom for who knows how long, crying in Tsukishima’s arms, surrounded by your friends.

But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it but I guess good for you

Later that night, when everyone has finally passed out, you slip through your apartment door, pulling your hood up as you head towards the street. You have your phone, keys and pepper spray. You just wanted- no, needed to get out of there, the slight chill in the air rousing you. You take in the surroundings, letting your feet take you wherever they please.

You sigh as you take in the park in front of you. You used to come here a lot, whenever you needed to clear your head. It was a space for you to be truly alone to work out your emotions. Which is exactly what you needed now. You smile faintly as you reminisce, not paying attention as you head to the swings, only to stop in your tracks, still hidden in the shade as you watch on. What the fuck.

The creak of the swings is drowned out by laughter, two people sit on the swings, legs pumping to go higher and higher. Her hair whips in the wind and she closes her eyes, leaning back for a moment. You watch him slow down, eventually stopping and getting up to approach her flying form. Right when she is about to pass him, he moves, grabbing her and the swing, halting them mid-swing. She squeals, which quickly melts into laughter as she lets go of the chains, wrapping her legs around his torso and her arms around his neck. Her smile is a sun in the night, love radiating from the couple as they kiss. You look away and spot an open picnic basket, a bottle of wine poking through on a blanket rumpled from use.

You leave as silently as you came.

Maybe I'm too emotional but your apathy's like a wound in salt

The hollow ache starts to burn as you walk back to your apartment. You didn’t expect him to be as affected tonight as you were but you thought he’d- what did you think he’d feel? Mourning? Grief? Sadness? Why would he? He was the one who broke it off, who ‘fell out of love’ or at least that’s what he said when he broke your heart. And to bring her there?

Maybe I'm too emotional Or maybe you never cared at all

You shared that spot with him a year after you moved in together, he knew its significance to you, to your relationship. How long had he been bringing her there? What did he tell her about it? Did he use the words you said to him all those years ago? You wondered if he even remembered what today was. He said he had loved you, but was he truthful? He promised quite a few things during your relationship that were broken when he admitted it, when he confessed ‘what had been eating him up inside.’

Maybe I'm too emotional but your apathy's like a wound in salt

The hollow was slowly filling, bitter, anger, loss, and more flooded the space as you recalled his words that night.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You had never felt more dread than in that moment.

“I loved you so, so much.” You had wished the past tense was a mistake, but you knew it wasn’t.

“I don’t know when it happened, if it was slowly or quickly.” You could tell it was a lie.

“I-I just realized I loved you in a different way than you loved me.” A cute way of saying he no longer loved you.

“I thought that if I just stuck with it, that it might change, that it was just a slump.” Another way to say ‘leading you on because I was too afraid to tell you the truth.’

“I tried, I tried so hard to love you the way you wanted me to.” For how long? How many years did he lead you on, how long did he let you think everything was ok?

“You deserve more than I can offer.” You knew that was true, you did deserve more. You deserved a lot more than this, than an offer.

Maybe I'm too emotional Or maybe you never cared at all

You were crying by the time you got to your apartment building, but it was different. You didn’t feel the aching hollow as strongly as before. You felt anger, bitterness about what he said, you had a million things you wanted to say to him, to make him know what he did. But didn’t he already know? He was there, he saw what his words did, he saw the aftermath, at the very least he heard about it. And yet the night after he was pictured entering a popular high-end club. It was on your Twitter feed that morning, effectively pouring salt and lemon into the hole in your heart. You had thought it then, and you’re thinking it now.

Well, good for you. You look happy and healthy, not me If you ever cared to ask

The next morning, no one brought up last night, and you were thankful for it. You think they could sense the shift, from the aching despair to the brittle anger. So you all lounged on the couch, playing Mario Kart to help you channel it.

You were on the fourth stage of Grief according to Yamaguchi, who brought it up the following day over breakfast. He explained: Denial- which was during the breakup and right after, Depression- which came to fruition after you ran into them at the store, Bargaining- When you tried to go back to how it was before, trying to keep the friendship alive so you’d still have him around, Anger- which was now, when you realize that you wasted years of your life for someone who didn’t even love you and now they want to go back to friends, after they immediately get into a new relationship. The next step would be the final- Acceptance, when you would finally accept he was gone, when you could finally move on.

Good for you

After that night the change became more obvious. You weren’t hiding anymore, you would hold your head high and snap others off if they trod down the wrong path. You felt the hot anger slowly cool over time, as you continued to go out, to clubs, bars, parties Shoyo always invites you to but you always decline. You met his teammates, finally after too long.

He had dinner for you and the team at his apartment that he shares with one of the said teammates. You dressed up a little, enough for Shoyo to whistle when you showed him over facetime as you finished getting ready. You weren’t planning on going anywhere except your apartment after; there was just something about knowing you look good that does wonders to the confidence. You grin widely as he complains about not wanting to deal with his teammates crushing on you. You end the call when you get into your car, you were going to stop by the store to get something and then head over, despite his assurances no one else was bringing anything.

You purse your lips in thought as you surveyed the wine selection in front of you, bending slightly to read the label of one on a lower shelf. You didn’t realize you were taking up the aisle until someone cleared their throat behind you. You paid the little mind, murmuring an apology as you stepped to the side. You felt their presence next to you, and after a minute of them burning a hole through you with their gaze you turned towards them, lips pursed in annoyance rather than thought.

You're doin' great out there without me, baby, like a damn sociopath

The wide eyes of Kageyama Tobio meet yours as you study him for a moment before smiling. “Kageyama! Sorry, I didn’t realize I was taking up the whole aisle, you know me; always so indecisive.”

Your joke seems to snap him out of whatever train of thought he was in. He smiles and chuckles, turning to look at the wine in front of you. “What kind of an occasion is it?” He asks after a beat. “Oh Shoyo is introducing me to his teammates today, wine’s something people bring to dinners right?”

He smiles and nods before pointing out several bottles. “These would be appropriate, and Shoyo likes this brand.'' He plucks one from the shelf before presenting it to you. You smile and thank him, before parroting his question back to him. He turns back to the wine. “Uh, Yumi got a promotion and I’m surprising her with dinner with her coworkers.” You hum in thought before grabbing a wine off the shelf for him. “I think this would be a good one. It's white, so the stain won't be as bad and won’t stain her lips like a red would. It’s a dessert wine so even her younger colleagues should enjoy it. Oh, and tell her congrats for me.” He smiles and thanks you before you part.

You arrive right on time at Shoyo’s, the wine was well received and his teammates were great. They were everything he told you and more, you all got along great, especially you and Atsumu, he was Shoyos roommate and it was great to have another person to make fun of his horrible habits with, much to Shoyo’s dismay.

The dinner flies by, and eventually, you’re the last to leave. You wave to Atsumu before hugging Shoyo. “Thank’s Sho, for everything you’ve done for me these past 6 months. I love you.” He squeezes you tight, kissing the crown of your head before pulling away.“You don’t need to thank me (Y/N), I know you’d do the same. I love you too, drive safe.” You wave as you leave back to your apartment.

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night. Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom

The next 6 months fly by, and you spend more and more time with Shoyo and his team. Bokuto dubs you an honorary Jackal and you celebrate drinking until dawn, as a true Jackal would. You spend time with them individually, the gym with Bokuto, reality TV with Sakusa, movie nights with Shoyo, and all of the above with Atsumu, in addition to annoying his brother Osamu at his restaurant.

It hits you out of the blue. You had felt a little off all day, but you had chalked it up to the takeout you had last night. You glance at the calendar as you walk past, only to backtrack and look again, with wide eyes. Today marked a year since the breakup. It had taken you a long time to move on, but you were finally starting to feel yourself again, so why did your heart ache all of a sudden? Why did the burning rise in your throat, prickling the back of your eyes as you began to breathe faster, feeling the despair rise out of the depths to rip a sob from you lips? You try to stop, taking deep breaths, count five things in the room, but none of it works. It’s not as bad as the other times, but you feel shame crawling up to join, you were finally turning things around, how could you let it all go to waste?

You curl into yourself on the couch, blindly calling Shoyo to ask for his company, maybe he’d know, he helped you get this far, maybe he can make sure you don’t fall too far. You listen to the rings until you hear the click of an answered call, not even letting him speak before crying into the phone, asking him to be with you, help you understand. Half your words are unintelligible as you ramble on, not really listening to the other end until you think you hear him say he’s on his way, but he sounded odd, different. Had you interrupted him? Was he too busy? No, he would’ve told you and sent someone else, probably Yachi since she was the closest.

You quickly tire of trying to hold everything back, and let it wash over you, all the feelings from this past year rise up, poised to drown you, and you allow it, letting it crash down and wash over you. You let the sobs free themselves, somehow knowing it was the right thing. You give yourself to the despair, the anger, the loneliness.

You don’t hear the knocking at the door, or the sound of the door opening, too absorbed untangling the knot of emotions in your heart; until you feel the cushion next to you you sink with the weight of another person, and a hand gently rubs your back soothingly.

You lean into him, letting him pull you to him like many times before. He pulls you into his lap, curling an arm around your waist while the other hand cradles the back of your head, letting you sob into his shirt. You take a deep breath, letting his familiar scent calm you- wait.

You freeze and your stomach drops. It’s not Shoyo. They're bigger, enough to cradle you against their chest. They’re whispering soothing words into your hair, and you hear a familiar accent, leaning back quickly enough to send a wave of dizziness through you and you sway for a moment.

“Woah, what’s wrong?” Atsumu asks, moving his hands to your hip and back to steady you. Your wide eyes meet his and he tilts his head slightly in confusion. “(Y/N), hey sweetheart, you okay? Gave me quite the scare there earlier ya know?” You continue to stare at him until he waves a hand in front of your face, breaking whatever spell you were under.

You blink a few times, shaking your head slightly as the corner of his mouth quirked up. You look back at him, brows furrowed, cringing when you hear your voice, hoarse after however long of crying. “’Tsumu? What’re you doing here? Where’s Sho?” He raises an eyebrow at your question, lifting his hand to wipe a tear from your cheek.

“Whaddya mean? You called me cryin’ an’ askin’ me to come here to keep ya company. Speakin’ of, what in the world is wrong? What’s got you so sad sweetcheeks?” Your face heats at the nickname.

“Oh, ‘m sorry, I meant to call Sho, he knows; it’s- today is-” He embraces you as a fresh wave of tears springs from your eyes. You can hear the rumble of his chest as he speaks, breath fanning your ear. “It’s all ok, ya don’t haveta cry, I can call chibi if you want him instead of me, it's no prob-“ You shake your head, cutting him off.

“No, s’kay. Thanks for being here ‘Tsumu, sorry I pretty much threw myself into your lap when you sat down.” You rub an eye, feeling awfully close to a toddler. He chuckles and combs your hair back, tilting your chin up so you’re looking him in the eye. “No needta thank me doll, and I won’t object to a pretty thing like you throwing themselves into my lap, though I’d enjoy it more if you weren’t crying. Now, d’ya wanna tell me what made you cry a river in here. Or at least what I can do to help.”

You curl inward slightly, not sure how to explain your wants at this moment, the emotions tangling in your chest too raw to name. You use actions to express your needs as words continue to fail you. You shift in his lap, straddling him instead of the awkward side hug you were doing before. You break eye contact, looking anywhere but him, feeling awkward and exposed. He snorts softly and his hands run up your knees, palm flat against your thighs, up and over your hips to splay against your back, bringing you back to his chest. Your pals lay flat against his sides, sliding along his ribcage and then south, fisting the fabric against his lower back as you rested your cheek on his shoulder. You waited and waited but the tears didn’t come, you could feel the tear tracts cool on your cheeks, trying to put your feelings into words.

A shudder than through his body as he felt you sigh into his neck, arms wrapping tighter around you, pulling you closer, until you were flush against him. The minutes passed by as the two of you stayed wrapped around each other, you breathing the only sound in the apartment. You sighed again, pulling away from him slightly to lean back to look at him. He searched your face, taking in the emotions clouding your eyes, thumbs rubbing circles into your hips soothingly. You gave him a weary smile and took a deep breath, looking down at your hands as you spoke.

“I don’t know if Sho told you about this, but about 6 months before I met you guys I got out of a pretty serious relationship, I mean it was my first relationship and the breakup hit me really hard. The day of the dinner was one of the first times I had truly felt myself again.

“We got together in our first year of high school. We had been friends years before that. God, I had a crush on him for so long, I can’t remember anyone before that.” Your voice is whispy, reminiscing on a better time. “I wasn't a manager that first year, though I was around often enough that I helped where I could. I was at almost every practice, which is how I got acquainted with the other first years. He was still guarded and grumpy then, so I was friends with everyone first, and we all slowly warmed up to each other.

“When he asked me out at the end of the year, after saying goodbye to the third years, it just- it felt so right, like this is supposed to happen. I was a manager our last two years and by graduation the six of us were close. We managed to stay in touch and visit each other whenever possible. Sho had gone to travel, Kei to Sendai for school, Hitoka and Tadashi stayed for school before she went to Tokyo and he stayed in Miyagi. Tobio was picked up by the national team immediately after graduation, to play in Rio. I was accepted into a university in Osaka, and he moved in with me when he got back.” You ignored the way Atsumu’s hands tightened their grip when you said his name.

“It was perfect, we- we were doing fine, or at least I thought we were.” Your voice cracked and you took a shuddering breath before continuing. “He traveled between Tokyo and Osaka a lot and of course for games but it never bothered me, I knew what I was getting into. Eventually, Sho came back, and joined your team, moving into an apartment not far from ours. I was so happy.” You whispered the last sentence, afraid if you said it too loud it’d sound like a lie.

“I hadn’t noticed any changes, he didn’t seem withdrawn or unaffectionate, he was like he always was, until he wasn’t. He came home one night and said he didn’t love me like that anymore, that he couldn’t love me the way I loved him. He- he said he tried to, he said he tried for a long time, in case it was a slump but it wasn’t. And all-all I could think about was the way he said it, like he had been thinking about this for a long time, he looked so tired like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders as he told me the last who knows how long was a lie.

“He left and stayed at a teammate's house until he could get an apartment. He moved close by, I still don’t know why he didn’t move to Tokyo. Sho came and stayed with me for a few days, until I kicked him out so he could focus on the tournament that was coming up. He kept in touch with Tobio, and would update me when I asked.

“That was a year ago, and I know I should be over him, and I am, or I thought I was until I realized what today was and- and everything, all the emotions I had pushed down came back up, no longer letting me ignore them. All the grief and anger and insecurity kept rising and rising until I thought I was gonna drown. Which is when I called Sho, or at least I thought I did.” The corner of your mouth twitched into a small smile as you met his gaze.

But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it

“I- I think it would’ve been easier if he hurt too, if I saw that it affected him even half as much, because that would mean he had felt something, he had loved me at one point. And I don’t know, maybe he came to terms with it before he ended it, but seeing him with someone else, not even 3 weeks later just rubbed salt too deep into the wound that just seeing them happy together sent me into tears. When I ran into them days after I found out, when I saw with my own eyes how good he was, how happy he was without me; I don’t know how long I cried, but it was suffocating, it had such a tight grip on me I couldn’t breathe, I didn’t even realize Sho was there until he was hugging me.” You watched your tears fall onto your hands, leaving droplets on his pants. You took in a shuddering breath, suddenly meeting his gaze.

“I just- I don’t know what wrong with me, why can’t I let myself be happy?” Your voice cracked, and you brought a hand to your face, embarrassment simmering low in your gut. Atsumu gently pried your hand away from your face, replacing it with his own as he cupped your cheek. He wiped the tears that fell from your lashes with his thumb. He brought you forward to kiss the crown of your head before returning his gaze to you.

“Doll, look at me. There is nothing wrong with you, ya hear? Your heart was broken, it ain’t gonna fix itself in a day. You will be happy, I promise. Whenever we lose someone we love, a piece of us goes with them. He was sucha huge part of your life, I’d be more worried if you weren’t sad. I can’t say when, but one day you’ll notice it hurts less and less until you barely notice it. Until then you have me and everyone else to help you, so don’t hesitate to lean on us when you need to, got it?”

Your bottom lip wobbled and your eyes were glassy with tears yet again, though this time for a different reason. You threw your arms around his neck and crushed him into you as you cried his name. “I didn’t know you were such a softie! I bet no ones gonna believe me when I tell ‘em.” He wrapped his arms around you again, you were so close you could feel his laughter in his chest. “Yeah, and I didn’t know ya were such a cry baby.” You snorted and pulled away, “That’s on you, I am a well-known cry baby.”

You matched his grin, feeling lighter. You pulled yourself off his lap, but he didn’t let you get very far, pulling you into his side, your legs thrown over his thighs as you turned on the TV. You ended up falling asleep on your couch together, your neck cramped and you found out you drool, but it was worth it.

But I guess good for you

The next few months went by relatively quickly. There were a few hiccups, mostly on holidays, but you listened to what Atsumu had told you and you leaned on your friends during those times. Speaking of Atsumu, while you two were close before, after that night you felt even closer. You found yourself at the apartment he shared with Shoyo more and more. You came to every MSBY game you could, usually helping Osamu run his booth.

When you weren’t with him, Atsumu would often find you helping his brother run orders at the restaurant; under the guise of an apology for annoying him so often, but both twins saw how happy you were when you were working. Eventually, Osamu just gave you a position there, because he didn’t want to get caught exploiting free labor, not because he liked you or anything, you were just as annoying as his brother- or so he says.

The blonde hadn’t noticed just how much time the two of you spent together until you went to visit Yachi in Tokyo for a week, and had odd chunks of time with nothing to do. It was confusing, and frankly off-putting how different it was when you weren’t around. Everyone noticed of course, and teased him for it, more the team than Osamu, because he couldn’t deny he missed you too.

Despite your protests that it was just a 2-hour train ride from Tokyo, and maybe another 10-minute ride to the stop near your apartment, Atsumu insisted on picking you up from the station during your call earlier. “ ‘M not taking no for an answer doll, I’m picking ya up.” You rolled your eyes at his stubbornness and sighed. “Fine, but I’m venoming you for the gas, no ifs ands or buts about it.” You smiled at the sound of his groan from the other line, good thing you were just as stubborn.

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

You were idly scrolling through your Instagram feed, about 10 minutes away from Osaka when you saw a glimpse of a ring, you scrolled back up and read the caption. ‘I’m the luckiest man in the world’ followed by a picture of what must’ve been Yumi’s hand, and adorned on her left ring finger was a large, and no doubt expensive, engagement ring. 6 months ago it would’ve summoned tears, but now you smile faintly, commenting your congratulations before scrolling past. Atsumu was right, eventually, it started to hurt less and less and now it was barely there.

You stood up when the announcement of your arrival in Osaka rang overhead, tucking your phone away and grabbing your bags to exit the train car. You immediately spotted your chauffeur, thanks mostly to the gaggle of young girls surrounding him as he laughed and signed autographs. You walked slowly, trying to buy time until they left but (un?)fortunately he spotted you. A wide grin stretched his features and you couldn’t help but reciprocate, lifting your hand in a small wave. He turned back to the girls and said something before breaking through, jogging towards you as you met him halfway.

You had an amused look on your face from his theatrics and the wide gazes of the girls he left behind. “Hey.” He said when he stopped in front of you. You snorted, “Hey.” He pouted at your tease, which only made it more funny, before rolling his eyes and taking some of your bags, giving you a pointed look when you tried to object. You huffed and walked next to him towards the exit.

You startled slightly when his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you by your hip into his side. You looked up at him but he kept his gaze ahead, though you could see the slight flush to his cheeks and the slight twitch of a grin. You reciprocated, hooking your thumb through the belt loop by his hip as you kept your gaze ahead, his stare bringing a slight heat to your face.

He laughed lightly and you two continued out to his car where he tried to make you sit in the back seat because “ it’s not professional for a chauffeur to let their passenger sit up front.” You laughed before letting your face fall into a mock-serious stare and said “no.” in the best deadpan tone you could conjure up before climbing in.

You raised an eyebrow as you looked at him when he didn’t start the car. His hands were on the steering wheel and he was looking ahead in thought. “Atsumu?” He looked at you, smiling softly, still not saying anything. “Uhh you okay? Do I really need to sit in the back for you to be able to drive because-“ He laughed, waving your concerns off. “No, no, I’ll allow it this once. Sorry for spacin’ out, I’m happy yer home.” You looked at him incredulously, “ I was 2 hours away ‘tsumu.” You see a faint flush creep up his neck and he clears his throat, turning back to the wheel and turning on the car. ‘I know, I just missed ya ‘s all.”

You were just able to make out his dejected mumble, quietly huffing in amusement as you glanced down briefly before turning to look forward, biting back the smile at his flinch when you grabbed his hand, bringing it to your lap as you intertwined your fingers. “I missed you too, ya big softie.” Smiling, he squeezes your palm before focusing on the road, and you feel something stir, a bud sprouting from the once hollow place in your chest. It hasn’t bloomed yet, but you have a feeling it will soon.

[pabosontheloose]

Work For You (Baekhyun)

WC: 3.0k

TW: None? Neglect?

“Baby?” Baekhyun’s loud, cheerful voice rang throughout the apartment, the sound being followed by his shoes clunking on the floor as he took them off. 

“I’m in the kitchen!” you called back, one hand still stirring the hot milk inside the pot while the other was turning off the heat. From behind, Baekhyun came up and wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing his chest against your back. Immediately, his cologne filled the atmosphere, easing your shoulders as he planted a light kiss on your cheek. 

“Hey Cutie, whatcha makin’?” he asked into your ear, eyes peering down at the pot that had steam emitting from it.

“Some hot chocolate, I figured you’d want some after a long day. Go sit.” you asked, to grab the two cups that were on the counter. You can hear the little claps of his hands behind you as he moved to sit on at the table. Unbeknownst to you as you were carefully pouring hot milk into two mugs, he was sitting with his cheek resting on his palm, eyes hooded and lips pulled into a smile that he couldn’t stop if he tried.

He was silently observing you move around. His heart was pounding in his ears as he watched you simply place the pan into the sink and grab two spoons from the rack. When you turned around, he grinned and reached out to grab one of the two mugs in your hands so you can settle down on the chair next to him.

“How was the studio?” you asked. Your legs came up to cross themselves under the table, carefully blowing on your beverage to cool it down. He went to stir the chocolate in his cup before looking at you.

“We’re planning on recording a new solo album. We sampled a few sounds today. At some point Chanyeol came in to help out. My ass is so sore from sitting all day.” he whined a  little, lips pulled out into a small pout before he carefully took a sip.

“Oh a new album? That’s so exciting! What’s it about?” you asked, leaning in. He made a motion of zipping his lips and locking it with a smile, shaking his head.

“I can’t leak that information baby, tsk tsk, you should know better than that. Let’s go cuddle on the couch.” he went to stand up and followed you to the living room where the two of you turned on the TV and set it onto a random show. Although neither of you were paying any attention as little kisses were stolen from time to time during the conversations that were had.

_______________

From: Baek the loml 💓

- Baby do u think u can bring some lunch to the studio today?

- Manager is having all of us stay late today 

- And i wanna see your pretty face before it gets dark outside 😍

From: You

- You’re just using me for my incredibly amazing cooking at this point 🙄

- But sure

- What do u want to eat?

- Also im bringing u a salad

- Bc whenever u prepare for a new album u keep saying u need to stay in shape for the performances

From: Baek the loml 💓

- Anything would be fine

- No cucumbers in the salad tho pls

- AND NO 

- im not dating u bc of your cooking

- Its bc of your 🍑

- 😜

From: You

- extra cucumbers in the salad got it

- see you in a little bit!

When you arrived at the building, security allowed you to go in and the receptionist directed you to the room that Baekhyun was working in. When you arrive at the door, you can faintly hear the music lulling in the room. The rhythm of it was soothing and you were just tempted to open the door and listen but you knew he was excited for this album, so your knuckles came up to the door and knocked.

Immediately, the music was turned off and you can hear someone getting up and rushing to the door. 

Baekhyun’s face lit up once he saw you and urged you into the room, giving your cheek a lingering peck. You greeted his manager who was sitting on the couch going through some of the music sheets. He got up and greeted you back then headed towards the door, saying he needed to go talk to someone regarding the tune of the song and lyrics. 

You settled the bag onto his desk as the two of you sat down. He immediately went to grab the utensils before chowing down.

He, as he said, came home late that night but you didn’t mind. He did let you know about it anyway, so you were able to sleep soundly knowing he was working hard for his fans. 

Several days after that were just the same. He was held back until around the same time as last night, but you had nothing to worry, he sent you a message to let you know. When he came home, he answered your conversation pieces with little hums here and there to let you know he was listening, but you knew he was tired. The shine in his eyes wasn't as bright as before. So, you found a way to fizzle out the conversation by saying you were going to brush your teeth for the night. When you came out of the bathroom, he was already knocked out on the bed. It was endearing to see him curled up, one arm stretched out to where your side was. You carefully slid next to him and could feel his hand grab onto your side as tightly as it could in its subconscious state.

This cycle continued until the “I’m going to be home late” messages stopped altogether. You just went about your day working and then cleaning the apartment before shooting him a couple of messages asking if he wanted you to bring anything so he stays healthy. He responded to the ones he could and then it was just you for the rest of the evening. No message from him about when he was able to come home.

This continued onto the next day.

And the next.

And the next.

At some point, your inbox was just a string of messages from you, and a few responses here and there. But it didn’t discourage you from worrying about him. The way the door of the apartment opened later later during the night, the way he’d silently peck your cheek before moving onto the shared bed and immediately falling asleep, the way the bags under his eyes slowly got more and more prominent; Noticing all of that, and more, made you uneasy. Your brain was throwing up signals to talk to him, reach out to his members, anything to make sure that he was eating well and taking breaks.

Your messages were always read by him, but never replied to. The meals you left in the microwave for him stayed untouched and on better days they were eaten but not entirely. 

This is okay, he’s going to be okay, just a few more weeks until he finalizes the album. Just a few more weeks until he’s able to come home early. Just a few more weeks until he can be in your arms again. You deal with this even if it’s difficult because you care for him so much. 

You tried to ignore the loud silence of the apartment with him being gone for so long. Even the noise from the TV didn’t block out how alone you feel. You’re staring at it but the show isn’t registering, too deep in your thoughts, too tired yet unable to fall asleep until you know he’s home safe. 

________________

Yes, you realized that he hadn’t invited you to the building, but after several weeks of not letting you know if he’s okay or if he’s been taking care of himself, you had to see for yourself. You’ve had enough of feeling his back against your own during the few hours of sleep he got when he came home, enough of sleepily watching his figure leave the apartment in the early mornings. 

And it was a good day today; your design was chosen at the company you work for which was going to take your position to a new step. Also you were the 100th customer at a new coffee shop close to the apartment, so they gave you an extra cup of coffee and pastry on the house. You wanted to share the news with Baekhyun, so why not drop in to see him.

“(Y/n), what are you doing here?” was the first question that left his mouth when he saw you, eyes widening a little bit to make sure he was seeing right. His hair was all messy (you suspected from running his hair through it while trying to figure something out with the songs and schedule but you didn’t comment on it) and he looked a bit irritated. Your head tilted to the side in question as he looked over your form standing in front of him.

“I just wanted to drop by to see if you were okay. We haven’t had some time for ourselves in a while, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” you gave him a smile. One that would usually have him melting just at the sight of it. 

But he didn’t melt. Not today at least. All he could think of was that the song had to come out perfectly and your presence here was at such an inconvenient time.

“(Y/n) we haven’t had time because I’ve been busy. I’ve told you this. I can’t make a mistake on this song, okay? Please go home, I’ll be back later.” he tried to brush you off and went to shut the door but you stopped it with your elbow, causing him to look back at you. 

“What time?” you questioned, keeping your voice leveled. You weren’t mad at him, but a little bit in disbelief. Here you were trying to make sure he was okay, (clearly he wasn’t since he looked exhausted as hell) and he was trying to push you away.

“What?”

“What time will you be home?”

“God, I don’t know (Y/n). Late. Please don’t wait up for me.” he sighed, scratching his temple in frustration. The action causes you to sigh too before finding the words to speak up.

“I just wanted to make sure this album wasn’t destroying your health.” you mumbled, your words not coming out as strong as you had hoped it would. He narrowed his eyes at how you phrased your sentence.

“No. The album has to be great. It has to be up to my standards. And right now, it’s still missing something. I was just about to figure it out until you interrupted. Please go home. We can talk about this later.” he replied. You let out another hard sigh before lifting your hands and giving him the coffee and pastry that you got.

“Here. I got a free order earlier and I wanted you to eat something since it didn’t seem like you were eating much at home. I’ll see you later.” you grumbled as he took the food. When he did, you quickly turned around and headed towards the elevator. Just before the doors closed, you could see him still standing at the door, staring at you, as if something clicked in his head.

You didn’t see him attempt to take a step towards the elevator too but his manager called him back into the room to finalize the lyrics. As he sat down, he opened the paper bag to see his favorite little pastry cake, and noted on the details of the cup that you got his order just right. 

It was as if something knocked him on the head for him to finally understand the position he left you in for the past several weeks. He finally got a clear look in the mirror to see how dark the bags on his eyes had gotten and how his hands slightly shook when he set an alarm for 6PM on his phone under the note “Go home to my Baby”. That day he ordered a good meal during lunch, ate it all, and the thought of coming home to you gave him the drive to complete the lyrics before he was rushing to get to his car at 5:45.

Even if he knew he was in trouble, he still found the shocked look on your face amusing (and really cute but that’s for another day when you’re not passively mad at him) when he came through the door an hour later, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in one hand while the other carried a bag of take-out.

“Okay, I’m not home as late as I said I was going to be, but, I got us food.” he held up the bag, and with a smile, “And this, for you.” he held out the bouquet. You got off the couch to grab the flowers to place in a vase as he sets the bag down onto the coffee table. 

The silence radiation off of you made him nervously chuckle.

“Good news, I finally nailed the song. It’s at Baekhyun standards now. Now we only have to worry about the scheduling for after it’s released but that shouldn’t be a problem.” he tried to cool you off with a few laughs here and there but when you gave nothing back, he started to worry.

“Baby?” he began, “I’m sorry for pushing you away earlier. I realized I was an asshole the moment that elevator door closed.”

“Baekhyun, that’s not the point. The point is that you got so far into your work that you start to neglect everything around you and yourself.” you finally let out after all the weeks of keeping it in for the sake of his work. He silently stared at you, the look in his eyes made you want to engulf him in the tightest hug but you held yourself strong.

“I love you but it was just so hard to see you work yourself so much for this particular album.” you sighed. You don’t notice it but the corner of his lips slightly curled up into a smile as your sentence reminded him of why he worked so hard.

“I haven’t seen you tire yourself out so much before and I was truly scared that you might pass out from the lack of sleep. What makes it so different from the other albums? It’s going to turn out so great because it’s you who made it and your amazing fans will give it the recognition it deserves and why are you smiling when I’m trying to be serious?” you asked him, voice exasperated from trying to keep your thoughts straight but seeing that smile on his face brought back the warmth within yourself. 

“(Y/n), I was gonna keep it a surprise for when the album releases, but now is a good time too…” he started off, grabbing your hands and immediately intertwining with your fingers as a way to start his apology. Your eyes looked up into his in anticipation, waiting for him to continue his sentence.

“I dedicated the new album to you.” the little grin that graced his face after he said that made your heart drop.

“What?” you managed to work out, feeling mist start over your eyes as you waited for him to confirm his sentence.

“The new album that I’ve been working on...it’s dedicated to you. I’m really sorry I haven’t been giving you the attention and love you deserved. I was too focused on trying to make the song perfect so that you’d love it. But in the process of trying to make you feel appreciated through a song, I forgot to appreciate you in real life.” his voice slowly died down towards the end of his sentence. He was going to continue but before he could you launched yourself at him and buried your face in the crook of his neck. The little sniffles he heard was enough to let him know that he was forgiven and he quickly wrapped his arms around your frame, holding you closer than before.

“I’m sorry I got upset, I-”

“No baby, you don’t have to apologize at all. You’ve been trying to take care of me all this time and I took that for granted. From this point on, I’m going to give back to you as much as you give to me.” he was planting kisses on your forehead as he spoke, making sure you understood him as he spoke softly to you. 

Sometime during this intimate moment, he had brought the two of you to settle down on the couch. He held you by your waist on his lap, your thighs on either side of his while you were still hugging him with your face to his chest.

“Since we’re here now, is there anything I can do to make it up to you, Love?” he asked once you pulled away to look at him. One of his pretty hands came up to caress your flushed cheek, resting his thumb there for a second longer, further adding onto the intimate moment you two were in.

“Can I hear the song?” you asked, eyes batting in hope that he’d give you a small version of it but he only chuckled, the other hand squeezing your side as he shook his head.

“Oh baby…of all the things in this world that I can give you, the song is the one you’ll have to wait for.”

[MASTERLIST]

[xsugarysweetsx]

Could I get a Nozel x reader? Where the reader is pregnant with twins and then she’s possessed by the elves. And she tries to fight and kill Nozel. And she almost kills him cause he doesn’t want to hurt her. But then she says things like “how could anyone love someone like you” and he gets really disturbed because he’s thought the same thing countless times before. And after everything, she goes into labor and Nozel has no clue. So then he feels even guiltier that he missed the birth.

I really like this idea! Thank you for requesting anon!! Please enjoy!

“I’ll come home as soon as I can“ Nozel bid his goodbye to you. It was the morning of the attack and you worried about him leaving. There was no doubt that he was strong and capable for a mission like this but you couldn’t help it.

Not only was he your husband but the father of your unborn children. He rested a hand on your swollen stomach as he laid a kiss your head 

“Please be careful“ you said softly 

“I will, and I want you to rest. Understood?“ you nodded as he mounted on to the eagle he made from mercury. The caretaker who was assigned to you came near you to help you back into the castle. You had to put more faith into him, it’s Nozel after all.

Tiny time skip

You wake up abruptly to rumbling and loud scream and sounds. You struggle to sit up but still make it, you waddle over to the window and gaze upon chaos. The entire kingdom was falling into ruin and by...Magic Knights? You started for the door but was stopped by your caretaker

“Ma’am please get back into bed where it’s safer for you“ she insisted as she blocked the door

“Rose please, Let me pass I’m a Knight as well as a royal and it’s my job to protect the people of the kingdom“ you protested 

“Please ma’am, Sir Nozel will have my head if I let you do that and- you’re highness...you’re glowing..“ at first you thought it was a compliment but you look at you reflection to see that it was true. You were literally glowing, some type of magic had filled the air and you couldn’t pin point where. Before you knew it; pitch black. It’s like you woke up again somewhere you didn’t know.

No one POV

Y/N mad her way down the hall to Solid’s room where much noise was being made. Only it wasn’t Y/N, it was her body possessed by an elf. Pointed ears, powerful mana, markings on her face, and the deadliest look anyone has every seen on her. She made it to the room where she opened the door to find Nebra and Solid being attacked.

“Y/N! Thank goodness you’re here! Now please protect us!“ cried solid who hid behind his sister. Y/N simply walked to the elf who possessed a knight of the golden dawn and hugged her.

“It’s good to see you sister“ Y/N spoke, making their jaws drop

“And to you as well. Have you come to help me with these royals? They’re too cocky for their own good“ Y/N turned to the cowering pair on the bed and raised her hand toward them. Lava starting to emit from the ground around her shaping into the form of spears. 

“Now...die..“ they shoot at full speed but they never hit. Nozel had came just in time to save his siblings. Frustrated Y/N said 

“Leave them to me. I can sense this one is special to this human body”  

“Nozel thank god!“ Nozel looked up and was absolutely shocked. He ran to her 

“Y/N What are you doing here?! You need to be somewhere safer! Co-“ he reached for her but was soon slapped away by her. 

“Don’t touch me, you filthy human..“ she glared. Now is when he realized this wasn’t his wife.

“..give her back to me..“ he growled lowly. She gave a sinister smile and said 

“I think I like this body but there is one flaw I must get rid of“ she said as she traced a finger down to the buldge of her stomach making a short sword like object with her magic “Can’t fight properly while I carry these things around, besides they’re human..“

“NO!“ he pulled her hand away from herself as he felt her start to fight back. He couldn’t physically fight her. She was pregnant! He jumped back ready to defend himself, he may not fight her but he won’t die either.

Change POV

The battle was on going back and forth. When you would attack he would reflect it or just brush it away. You may have been an elf but it was still you.

“Ugh im tired of you!” You yelled and made a cage with spears in every direction. Without mercy you let them rain down in his body. Pained screams filled the room, fortunately no vital areas were hit, mostly his arms and legs which kept him in place.

“Finally, how could anyone love someone someone like you?” You said coldly beginning to all away. When he thought about it, it was true. Wherever he went there were whispered, and other cowered in fear, maybe it was better this way.

But there was always you...you always saw pst his exterior. You always made sure he was aware of all his great qualities and why you love him.

“Y-Y/N...please I know....you’re still in there..” he said weakly “I may not be the best person...but I..I know you love me...so please..come back to me...”

“Shut up! Shut up! Ahhh!” It was live voices were spinning in your head. The elf trying to win the body over but you wouldn’t let it. Finally, feeling as though something was laughed off of you, you stumble being caught by Nozel’s mercery. You turn and let your magic dissolve off of him.

You lay down completely drain of your magic and energy. The medics ran in to attend to Solid, Nebraska, yourself and Nozel. You’re were okay but just exhausted. Despite only being half way healed Nozel ran to you. He kneeled next you and cupped your face

“Are you alright love?” He was worried over you’re state but look at him! You nearly killed him

“Nozel I’m fine It’s you that I’m worried about. I could’ve killed you!” Your eyes tear up “I....I...I’m so sorry...” you sniffed. He shushed you and kissed your head and wiped your tears

“No don’t cry, it’s over now. We’re both fine”

“I-“ you were cut off my a pain in your lower back, it was dull at first but started to increase. Your face scrunched up in pain. The babies were coming..

“What’s happening?” He asked the midwife as he held your hand

“She’s going into labor sir we need to prepare for the birth” she said rushing her to the next room over on tot he bed. Noel then came in calling Nozel to come urgently. He didn’t know where to turn. The kingdom needed him but you also needed him.

You take a hold of his hand “go...th-they need you...I’ll be okay...” he knew that look, it was look when you didn’t want to repeat yourself. He pressed a kiss to your lips and your belly

“Forgive me.....” he whispered to your babies as he ran out of the room to attend to his duties.

Another time skip

After hours of agonizing birth. Sweat, fluids, pain and pushing your children finally enter the work. A beautiful baby girl and beautiful little boy. The girl looked like you but had his scowl and the boy looked like him but 100% had your little grin

Sadly Nozel had missed everything only because he was in the dark castle. Luckily he was in time to see them open their eyes for the first time. The girl had his eyes and the boy had yours.

“I’m sorry I missed this important moment” Nozel apologized for the 20th time

“Like I’ve said, you were protecting us from disaster and that’s plenty for me, here why don’t you hold her” he holds his arms open, already knowing what to do. She was so tiny in his larger frame

“Well she definitely has my frown” he chuckled

“That she does” you smiled leaning against him

“Thank you” he whispered “thank you for going through all this trouble and pain. I’m so proud of you” he said kissing your head.

“Well this wasn’t just me Nozel, so thank you for having these miracles in my arms. Thank you” you smile fondly at him and gives you a rare smile. A smile only you and your children will ever see

I hope this was fluffy and good enough! Thank you for reading❤️❤️

[aliasimagines]

Ice Cold (pt 2 to Melted Hearts)

Jason Todd x reader with ice powers

requested by @im-hqlover​

A/N: I had a great time writing this (and by great time i mean i cried. a lot. tOO MUCH ANGSt). But I hope you’ll enjoy reading!

Warning: charachter’s death, grieving, anxiety, panic attack, you kmow all the great stuff

Word count: 3722

At any other time you would be complaining by now. At how your side was stinging and how your breath stuck in. But not now. You ignored your hurting leg and ran as fast as you could. Still, with you running at full speed, Batman was a few steps ahead of you.

The Joker has left, leaving Jason and his newly found mother. Batman couldn’t contact him and you just hoped that the psycho didn’t do anything irreversible.

You couldn’t help but play back the last conversation the two of you had in your head. You had a fight. A big one. It was totally pointless by the way but he was too upset at the time. Bruce has just scolded Jason for being too reckless and told him that he should stop being Robin for a bit. Of course you went to comfort him when you heard about it but he wasn’t in the mood to be comforted. There was a lot of shouting, both of you lashed out on each other and it wasn’t pretty. Sure, you regreted it immediately. You called Jason, you texted him but he didn’t reply. Later you found out from Bruce that he went away to search for his biological mother. He left no notes for you, no text, nothing. Yet in this very moment you couldn’t be angry at him, you just hoped he would be alright when you found him.

You finally saw the warehouse in the distance. They should be there. Some kind of relief took over you. He was there. You could almost feel the handle of the metal door, grabbing it and slamming it open.

It all happened quickly. One moment you were still running the other you were thrown back by the wave of the explosion. Your ears rang and it took a moment to realize what happened.

No, no, no, no

You didn’t know when you got back up or when did you start running again but you were on your way to the ruins.

No no no no

You could still hear the noise, ringing over and over again.

-Jason threw a bomb while furiously hitting the switches of the controller.

„Kgshhsssh” he made the most ridiculous explosion mimicking sound with his mouth you ever heard. Just like he expected you break out in laughter causing him to easily win the game.

„That’s cheating!” you manged out in between two giggles.

„Nah, that’s playing smart, baby.” you disapproveingly shook your head and hit the replay button.-

You saw Bruce stopping next to Sheila but you didn’t see him.

No, no, no, no

He has to be somewhere near. You kept tilting your head in all directions as fast as you could until you spotted a bright red piece of clothing. It was from his uniform. You were there in a second trying to lift the debris off of it. It was to heavy, you can’t possibly do it alone. That’s when you saw a pair of strong arms helping you push it off. Your heart pounded so fast you were afraid it’s going to break out any minute.

You saw him. Under the heavy ruins, covered in blood, bruises and dust. Your breathing stopped.

No, no, no, no

Batman was already by his side checking his pulse but it was useless. You both knew it deep down but a little hopeful voice kept saying ’what if not? what if not?’ in the back of your minds.

The bat looked up at you with is usually unreadable face now broken and shook his head.

Legs slipping from beneath you, you fell on your knees, hard. Your whole body shook as you screamed and cried.

„No, no, no, no...this can’t be. No!” the ground beneath you began to froze.

You don’t know how you got home. Your memory is foggy. You remember little bits like Batman talking to you, a window to the cloudy sky which was probably on a plane and maybe the manor?

But now you found yourself on your bed. Instead of your costume you had on a pair of leggings and a hoodie. The hoodie was Jason’s. You sat up, all of a sudden remembering everything. You felt sick amd dizzy. The room was spinning. You stumbled out of bed.

It has to be a dream. It can’t be true. It was all just a messed up dream.

You almost fell like three times til you got out to the kitchen. Diana sat there, she looked so stressed. And you knew it wasn’t just a nightmare. She caught your shaking body and pulled you into a tight hug. You layed your face on her shoulder, quickly soaking her shirt with your tears. She played with your hair in silence. You had to get it out. Minutes passed, maybe an hour when you whispered between two sniffs.

„It’s my fault.” it was bearly audible but Diana heard you. Gently pushing you back so she could look in your eyes she said „Don’t say that Y/N. You did everything you could. You-„

„Noh.. I did not. If we haven’t had a fight, he would have brought me along with him and I would have been with him and-„ you cried out again. „Can I go back to my room?”

„Y/N...”

„Please.”

„Allright. Go. But I’m gonna check on you every now and then. You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

Without a word you stumbled back into the dark room. You sat next to the window, leaning on the cold glass which gave some kind of comfort.

You spent most of your time there in the next few day. Every song on your phone reminded you of him. Every book on the shelf, every tought you had. So you sat there. Staring blankly outside, your eyes at the busy street, your mind occupied with playing the explosion over and over again. You could have been faster. If only you got there one minute earlier. Only a minute... You probably slowed Batman down too. If he was alone he would have made it on time. He probably blames you for the loss of his son. But that’s alright. You blame yourself too.

Guilt was with you everywhere. You couldn’t shake the thought what if?

You couldn’t really eat either. It just didn’t feel right to feast while his body was somewhere cold waiting for his coffin to be done.

You couldn’t wet out of bed one day and you felt guilty for doing that. You had your whole life ahead of you wasted day after day while Jason had no more days left to waste.

You tried to smile at Diana one time after thanking her something when you noticed a little voice in your head. It wnet on and on about how went on and on about how selfish you were for smiling. How can you smile? You’re not even hurt a little by losing Jason? God, you really are worse than the Joker.

THE JOKER!

That’s it. You have to snap out of it! Step out from this miserable act and do something. He has to pay for what he did. You closed your fist forcefully. You imagined beating him until he couldn’t move anymore. You wanted nothing more that to swipe that irritating smile of his stupid pale face. You wanted to freeze his veins, break him into million pieces of frozen meat. Than put him in a block of ice and throw him in to the Gotham river, let his remains sink down to the bottom.

Next thing you knew you were in your supersuit racing down to the front door. Just as you reached for the handle you heared Diana.

„Where are you going, Y/N?”

„Out.”you turned.”The clown needs to pay for what he did.”

„And what is that you want to do exactly?”

„Just what he deserves.”

„Do you hear yourself Y/N? You can’t do this.”

„He killed thousands of people! He took Jason too! I can’t-„

„You’re hurting. I know. But revenge will not bring you satisfaction. Jason will not appear miraculously if you go after the Joker. And you don’t kill Y/N!”

„I haven’t before.” you said more and more quietly

„Y/N you are grieving. You want him back, more than anything, I know. But you are in no shape to go after the Joker. Dear, you couldn’t even take out a thug like this, you-„

„Don’t you think I know that?” you cried out. „I know. I know I can’t do this for him! I’m a pathetic mess.”

„He wouldn’t want you to get hurt. I am certain of that. He would want you to continue on. Please Y/N don’t go. If not for me than Jason.”

His sweater still had his smell in it. It was comforting as you laid on your bed. Soft music played in the background. You reached for your phone and took it from next the plate. It was empty, except from the crumbs from your toast.

You open your texts and read back the last conversation you had with Jason before the fight.

Your heart clenched at his text. ’See you soon, doll❤️❤️’

(time skip to the funeral)

There was only a few people there. You almost laughed. He really was loner like Diana said the two of you were.

There were no big speeches. Not because he didn’t deserve one but because noone was in condition to do one. All of you were broken. Like a glass vase that was hit off the table all of a sudden with such brute force that it shattered to unrecognizable pieces. With a lot of work and time you could rebuild the vase but you could never cover up the marks on it. It will never be as strong as it was before.

You looked at a tree the whole time. It was such a nice tree, it looked a lot like the one you sat under the night you first met. It was covered in beautiful green leaves and it was blossoming. You looked at the tree because you couldn’t look at them. You couldn’t look at the tomb. You distracted yourself with the tree, with leaves, with anything you could because if you wouldn’t you would have broke down crying, you were sure of that. Sometimes his voice popped up in your mind, him saying your name. You choked up then, tears were threatening to fall but you swallowed back all of them.

A good amount of time must have passed because you sensed everyone starting to leave. Dick with shaking shoulders, Bruce marching slowly like a robot, Barbara and Commissioner Gordon behind them. The only ones left were Diana, you and Alfred. The man has been through a lot, seen a lot and you never saw that on him but as you turned to face him you saw a tired, shaken, torn man. He looked so vulnerable and so..old.

„Miss Y/N... Thank you for giving him his happiest memories. I know he loved you dearly.” he said quietly. You fought with your tears again and held back yoir breath. Afraid nothing would come out of your mouth but a sob you noded. Diana put her hand on your shoulder but you gently took it off. Collecting all your strength you spoke, your voice barely louder than a whisper. „Can I-could I have a moment alone?”

„Of course. If you need me, we will be inside.”

You watch them walk away too, you kept your eyes at your ’aunt’ and Jason’s grandfather until they became small silhouettes in the distance. You than walked with unsteady legs and shaking body as you couldn’t hold yourself anymore. The bouquet which you strangled in your hands until now looked too vibrant against the cold stone and the dark dirt which beneath was an even darker coffin.

You promised you wouldn’t leave my side.

You lifted your fingers to your lips before placing them on the tombstone.

„I love you”

You felt awful. And tired. You couldn’t really sleep. Everytime you passed out from exhaustion you woke up hours later covered in cold sweat, sometimes crying other times screaming because of the nightmares that haunted you. Diana figured your mental health was getting worse and worse so she made you a therapy appointment. You were unsure at first. Afraid to open up, to get help. But you went anyway.

You needed some sort of closure. Well that’s what they told you at therapy. Because you couldn’t say goodbye to Jason in person, you needed to find a way to do it now. Your therapist listed a bunch of methods but only one caught your interest. Write a letter to him. You liked the idea because he loved stuff like that. Hand written letters are so Shakespeare-y, Y/N! So you grabbed a pen and started writing. The words came naturally and you wrote the letter at one sitting. It wasn’t long. But it served it’s purpose. It was a closure.

Once you were done with the writing you put it into an envelope. You took the candle you lit before you started writing and poored the hot red wax on the back. Quickly before it hardened you carved a „J” into the wax. Satisfied you put it in the drawer of your table before locking it with a key. In the locked drawer, under the letter there was your superhero uniform. Diana was understanding about your decision. She let you stay with her and even though you wanted nothing more than to travel back to your family you took her offer. You wanted to focus on your studies and Gotham had one of the best university of the country. If not the best. But you talked with your family almost every day, video chatted with your brother whenever you could. And your days went like this. You worked, you found a lovely part time job at the local art museum, you studied, went to therapy and got through every day.

But no amount of medication or therapy could uplift you as a hug from Jason.

However you learned one really important thing. You can’t do anything about it. As much as it hurts, he is dead. But what you can do is try and live a life worth living. That is what he would have wanted (it took a lot of therapy sessions and speeches from Diana for you to believe that but now you finally do).

You worked hard, you studied hard so you could get in to university. And after a good while you stared dating again. It didn’t mean it actually hurt less, or that you didn’t miss him anymore, no. No, but you had to try to move on. Although seeing his lifeless body was a trauma you would carry with yourself in to the grave. You never forgot him, you still think about him, sometimes you wonder what would he do in certain situations that happened to you. You still cry some time. You still have anxiety attacks and not having his arms around you makes it harder. But you are trying. And that’s the best you can do.

(years later after Jason’s death, Gotham City, in the small apartment you live in)

You shared the apartment you were living in with one of your friends. You met at the first day of school and since you had the same classes you hang out a lot. She found this place not far from the university and asked if you wanted to move in. You did, not wanting use Diana’s hospitality (even though she said it was fine) plus you wanted to be more independent.

It was Friday night and she left for a party, she asked you countless times to come with her but parties weren’t your scene. Too many people.

So you were home, alone but it was kind of nice. You decided that a few hours of chilling wouldn’t be so bad. With all the studying and working you did all the time, you just wanted to do nothing tonight.

You changed into a comfortable pair of pants and your GSU hoodie. With some of your favorite music playing in the background you prepared some food and brought it back to your room. You sat the plate down to your table, next to your laptop and turned back to close the door.

„Hey”

Hearing a robotic voice from behind you, you spin around in a flash, grabbing a pocket knife quickly. Turning around you met with a huge figure leaning next your open window with hands raised in a defensive way. His dark clothes blended in perfectly to the dark lighted room but his big red helmet stood out just fine.

You knew him. Sure you left crime fighting behind but that doesn’t mean you just ignored what was happening in the city. He is a new face around Gotham. A raising crime lord, seemed to be interested in taking over the biggest crime lord, the Black Mask. His name was rumored to be the Red Hood.

„Oh, come on! We both know you don’t need that. But hey! I’m impressed! Your reflexes are pretty amazing considering you hang up the cape years ago. I bet you still work out.” you couldn’t see but he looked you up and down.

„Look, I don’t know what you’re trying to imply here but I don’t want anything to do with you.”

„Ah, why so harsh, doll?”

„If you leave now I won’t call the cops.”

„Sweetheart” he sighed annoyed „ You and I know that I will be long gone before old Commiss Gordo gets here.” The Hood slowly let his hand down reaching into what you assumed was a pocket inside his jacket. You pointed your knife at him.

„Easy there. I mean no harm.”

„Oh yeah, tell that to the trail of dead bodies you left on the streets”

Your comment was rewarded with small chuckle from the armored man.

„I mean no harm to you, is what I meant. Those fucks who you are talking about? They had it coming. I’m not gonna apologize for killing psycho bastards who sell drugs to kids.” he said getting a bit to heated at the end. You saw him take out a a folded piece of paper. From where you stood you couldn’t see what was on it but to your great suprise his next move was to held the paper out for you.

You nearly laughed out at him.

„ I expected a better distraction from you.”

„If I wanted you to be distracted, you would be distracted dear. Just take it.”

Still not sure, you took it and unfolded it. You slapped your hand in front of your mouth, quickly forgetting about the knife, letting it fall down with a loud crash. The paper was actually an old picture of you and your late boyfriend. A picture that was supposed to be six feet under ground in said late boyfriend’s coffin.

Your whole life body shook with anger.

„What the fuck have you-„

He quickly interrupted with a calm voice.

„I found it in my jacket. I seriously have no idea how you snuggled it into it because Bruce was never the sentimental type and wouldn’t let you put it there.”

You just stared at him with plain confusion and anger.

„Who-„ are you? Because it can’t be... This person in front of you can’t be who you think it is. No. It’s not him. But the way he stands, he speaks, the „doll”, the picture! But it can’t be him.

„You know it Y/N-„ his voice sounded more human and familiar as he took off the helmet.

„Jason...” you knew it wasn’t possible. He shouldn’t be here. Maybe your mind was playing tricks on you because of the exhaustion. But he was there. Taller and muscular than last time you saw him but he was your Jason. Right here. „How...”

„Does it really matter?” he asked his voice gentle, making your legs fill like they’re made out of jelly. He stepped closer, holding out his hand towards you.

No, it really doesn’t. He is here now and that’s what- wait. The Red Hood has been here for weeks!

„Jason.” you looked up at him. „How long?”

„Well...”

„Were you even dead?”

„Yes! Of course! For a while I was. I died. It was real but-„ he couldn’t finish his explanation because you smashed him across the face.

„How could you? I was mourning, we all were. Goddammit we still do, you idiot! Do you hate us that much??”

„Oh, so were continuing where we left off! Great! I loved that fucking fight we had. Amazing last memory of you!”

„How can you say that?!” you shouted, lips trembling, your whole body shaking. You felt like you couldn’t breathe and tears felt your eyes. Jason’s face fell. Fuck, I’ve gone too far.

„Hey..uhm try to listen to my voice and-„ he was cut off with a glare from you.

„I know, I know. I fucked up, I’m sorry. Just try to breathe and I will just be out in minute”

„Don’t you dare- don’t leave you idiot.” you reached for him with shaking hands. And he took your hands. You touched the rough material of his gloves, his jacket and as he gently hugged you, you felt his armor too.

You stayed like that for god knows how long in his embrace. Sure you were mad at him and he knew that but that could wait. He was here now and he wasn’t about to leave. You had all the time in the world.

He brushed your hair out of your face, with a loving gaze. Without a word you cuddled closer to him, laying your head on his chest you listened to his heart beat. He continued to play with your hair with one of his strong arms wrapped around your torso. You didn’t talk. Not because you didn’t know what to say but because you didn’t need words to understand each other. Even after all these years. And you knew that the of you belong togethe. Whatever happens, you will always find your way back to the other.

[thebluestbluewords]

I haven't watched D2 in almost a year please forgive me

This is 1800 words of NONSENSE about PIRATES except there's actually no named pirates appearing in this section yet.

*

He’d been taking a walk.

The isle isn’t safe, obviously. It’s a prison colony, full of the worst of the worst, shaken up and left to stew in their own anger and his family’s incompetence for twenty years. Of course it’s not going to be a safe place for little Auradon boys to linger.

He’d gone less than a block. Hadn’t been planning on going any further. It’s an emotional whiplash, going from being upset because his girlfriend is secretly using magic to cope with Auradon life instead of just talking to him about it, to breaking up because she’s decided she can’t cope with life outside of the place she grew up.

It’s oversimplifying. There’s a lot more to it than just not being able to cope, but it’s hard to see that through the sheer hurt that’s stuck in Ben’s chest. They’d been doing well, until all of sudden they weren’t, and there was no time in between to try and fix things. Always jumping to the most extreme solution, that’s Mal. And it’s something he likes about her, usually! She’s got wild solutions for things, and she’s able to come up with the most outrageous ideas and play them off like they’re absolutely nothing, and she--

Doesn’t want to live in the same country as him anymore.

Yeah.

So that sucks.

Bringing Mal back home is more important than whatever concerns he’s got about their romantic future together.. No matter what’s going on emotionally, it’s still not right to leave her alone back on the island that they just brought her over from. There’s garbage burning in the streets here! The food stalls all have signs about limited supplies and taking what you can get, and the amount of knives and weapons on the average person walking down the street here isn’t exactly unexpected, but it’s just… it’s a lot. It’s not like he’s completely unaware of his surroundings! On the isle of villains, it’s important to stay alert. He gets that. It’s just that emotional turmoil, combined with the little fact that he’s all of sixteen and he’s pretty sure his heart is breaking, might be distracting him. Just a little bit.

Nobody ever expects to be grabbed by a giant guy and yanked into an alley, okay?

“Urg?” Ben manages to say, around the hand that’s being clamped over his mouth. “Eahhh?”

“Don't talk,” the mystery voice behind him directs. It’s not the person who’s holding him, so that’s bad. Being outnumbered is bad. “We’re taking you to see our captain, and if you run we have instructions to make that...significantly more difficult for you.”

Ben nods. There’s something tapping threateningly at his kneecaps, and he’s pretty sure he knows what the voice means by making it harder to run. He’s broken a bone once, when he was a kid and tried to climb the tree in his mom’s favorite glade, and fell out. If riding back to the castle with a broken arm had hurt, he doesn’t even want to imagine what being dragged along by a villain with a broken leg might feel like.

“Good,” the voice says, like it’s funny. Oh. They don’t use that word here, so it’s a joke about him. “We’d like to bring you back in one piece, your highness, so just keep cooperating and maybe this won’t go so bad for you after all.”

“Mmh” Ben agrees. He’s sort of afraid to nod, in case the arm around his throat tries to squeeze any harder, but it feels like a good move to go along with whatever this pair wants. Oh god. Hopefully it’s just the two of them, and then whatever captain they’re bringing him to.

There’s definitely more than just the two of them.

Oh no.

The big guy, or maybe a girl, actually, it’s sort of impossible to tell with the way he’s just being held against some very large and solid person, starts to tie his hands behind his back.

Okay, there’s the panic now.

Ben wants out, he wants his hands, he wants to breathe, he’s-- okay, hyperventilating doesn’t help anything. He’s been taught how to break out of hand ties, but it’s not going to help if there’s another person right there, and they’ve already said to cooperate, so--

Breathe.

“Should we just drug him?” someone is saying. “Might be faster than all of this tying and blindfolding business.”

“I dunno if I can carry this much deadweight, bro.” another voice says. Still not the person holding him still. So there’s at least three of them, great. “He’s pretty big for a prince charming.”

“I can carry ‘im” says a new voice, and oh, this is the person holding him, finally. There might be just the three of them. Not that it makes much of a difference, but it’s some sort of knowledge that Ben can cling to here. “Get his hands and feet, and I can do it.”

“‘on’t enfg.” Ben manages, around the hand that’s still clamped over his mouth. “omise.”

“Gil, just let him talk,” the first voice says again. “He’s obviously not going to stop trying, so just, give him a little air.”

“‘Kay,” the holding-person (Gil, the big one is Gil) says agreeably. “Hey, I wasn’t holding you too tight, was I? You can still breathe, and stuff?”

“I can breathe,” Ben says, once he’s gotten in a good lungful of air that doesn’t taste like stale sweat. “I won’t try anything, I swear.”

“Ooh, he swore,” says the bro voice, clearly delighted with this turn of events. “I think we might need a little insurance for that, little prince.”

There’s some sort of motion, and then a noise that sounds an awful lot like a knife being sharpened, and then a bright, sharp pain in Ben’s side.

“Hey!” the first voice says, clearly annoyed at this turn of events. “You didn’t have to stab him! Uma wanted him brought back in one piece!”

“He won’t be able to run this way,” the bro says, sounding annoyed. “It’s not gonna hurt him, just make it harder to run. It’s barely a scratch.”

“He’s bleeding. You’re gonna leave evidence.” the first one, who seems to be the brains of the operation, says. “Hey, no, don’t make that noise. Shut up. Look when you did!”

Ben doesn’t want to be making this noise either. He’s just as unhappy as the ringleader is about this, really. He didn’t want to get stabbed.

“Oh my evil, just pick him up, Gil.” the first person says. “Hey, prince charming. We’ll get you stitched up once you’re down at the ship, okay? Just like, shut up about it. You’ll be in worse shape if we drop you here for someone else to find, and they won’t be so nice about keeping you alive either.”

It hurts. Jesus fucking christ, it hurts. “You stabbed me?” Ben somehow warbles, between the fucking agonized breathing he’s doing to try and get the involuntary pain noises under control. “You fucking- stabbed me?”

He’s being lifted off his feet now, and cradled up like a baby against somebody’s broad chest.

“Just a little bit.” the bro-voice says as they start moving. “Insurance, bro. Can’t have you getting away from us now, ya know?”

“I just said I wouldn’t run.” Ben points out, gritting his teeth against another jolt as the person carrying him picks up speed. “I wouldn’t’ve lied about that if I knew you were going to stab me.”

“Get over it.” the brains of the kidnapping says. “Drop him in the cart Gil, we can just wheel him down the rest of the way.”

*

They tie him to the mast.

“Can I take my phone out of my pocket first?” Ben asks, as they’re pinning him down to tie him up again, more efficiently this time. “It’s going to leave a bruise if I keep it there, and I don’t care if you want to break it or sell it or anything.”

The pirates find this absolutely hysterical.

*

They do let him take his phone out of his pocket first, so that’s something.

*

Being kidnapped is sort of boring, when it comes down to it. The pirates are clealty waiting for something, but it’s not entirely clear what. True to their word from earlier, they do let someone (a girl with messy black hair and a bright red bandanna, who doesn’t seem especially fazed by the situation as a whole) slap a bandage on him. It’s not quite as good as not being stabbed in the first place would have been, but the girl had poked around for a while and announced that he didn’t need stitches, and then done what seems on the whole to be a very tidy job of cleaning and wrapping the cut.

It still hurts, because some lunatic with a knife did in fact stab him, but after the morning Ben’s had so far, things are honestly looking up.

One of the pirates sits down next to him.

“Want some water?” they ask, holding out a battered plastic cup.

Huh. “Um, sure?” Ben says.

The pirate tips it up to his mouth, and lets him get in a good three or four swallows before pulling the cup back and throwing the rest over his head.

“Uma’s still out.” they inform him. “But we’ve sent a runner down to the chip shop, so she should be coming up any minute now.”

“Uh. Okay.” Ben says. “Is that your captain?”

The pirate looks at him. “Yeah,” they say. “She is.”

There’s some sort of challenge there, but Ben is so far out of his depth right now that he can’t even make out what the shape of it might be. “Does she have demands, or something?” he asks. “I can’t guarantee that they’ll be met, but if you send a message out to my father he’ll probably give you something in exchange.”

The pirates stares up at him, shaking their head slowly. “Unbelievable,” the pirate says, “Fuckin’ Auradon kids. Do they really keep you stupid on purpose over there?”

“No?” Ben tries. “I can try to bargain for whatever you want. There’s some privateering work off the southern isles right now, and I don’t know that they’ll take kids on their own, but we’ve been working towards isle reform policies and there’s a pretty good chance they’ll go through in a few years and--” Shut up, the lunatics who kidnapped (kingnapped?) you don’t care about legitimate privateering work and the slow, torturous process that’s been trying to push isle reforms through the council while still only controlling about 40% of the vote. “Um, that is, we can meet your demands.” Ben finishes. “If you have them.”

The kid shakes their head again. “Unbelievable.” they say again, and leave.

Okay, then.

[sugrx]

1, 16 and 24

1. what did you learn about yourself this year?

i’ve obv changed a little bit and definitely have COMPLETELY different interests this year,,,, like if my last year self saw me now they would be like ‘wtf is dream smp oh my god you got into minecraft again didn’t you i thought i had finally moved past this phase when i was 9 YEARS OLD WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUT DOWN THE PEN STOP MAKING MINECRAFT FANAR--”

also i think i’ve gotten a bit better grasp on my sexuality/gender?? (that's explained more in the next question) and i feel like my art has DARASTICALLY improved like look at my last year art look at it i didn’t even know how to make .png files if i saw my current art style last year i would CRY OF JOY 

but my artistic eye has rlly developed since then tho and even though if i could draw as well as i could this year last year i would be over the moon now i just,,,, i see things i really want to change?? and my inspiration artists are so much beTTER THEN mE?? how do i be as good as thEM??? MY ART BELONGS IN TR ASH??

i was rlly anxious this year about my writing bc i haven’t been doing it as often and i feel like i SHOULD bc art is just a hobby and my main aspiration is writing and literally i feel like i haven’t improved at all since last year literally i looked at a piece i wrote last year and i haven’t improved at all,,, i feel like in general my stories have gotten better but not my general writing abilities?? like,,, last year i had this one story i planned to write that i really liked but i’ve basically scrapped it now and i have like 3 different stories i have going that im in love with but haven’t touched in weeks bc i’ve been so distrACTED

my self-image has also become a little,,, less?? this year?? i think??? idk if its just been the general mood of this year bc it sucked for everybody but im definitely not as excited and confident as i was last year

16. did you learn anything about your sexuality this year?

yeS?? NO?? MAYBE??? YES???

i mean i was questioning last year and im still questioning this year but,,, i’ve kinda thought about it more?? last year i was like completely clueless but i think now i have a vague sense of direction?? somewhat??

ive only had one crush ever when i was in kindergarten and that's not a lot of information to go off but it was a boy so i know i like boys,,, but also at the same time?? i could imagine liking a girl?? but I've never actually had any romantic feelings towards a girl yet so im not going to officially label myself bisexual or pansexual or anything so im sticking to questioning until i've had more romantic experience bUT that’s still something

i’ve also thought about my gender a lil bit?? it’s not something i’ve been super concerned with up until now but idk i haven’t been,,, feeling good abt it?? bc im growing up and my body is getting more “feminine” and it’s been making me uncomfortable??? like not to the point where i absolutely despise my body but like,,, a vague sense of uncomfortableness whenever i look at myself without like 4565492834589 sweaters blocking the shape of my body LOL

like,,, i could imagine being a boy and sometimes i want to be a boy but at the same time,,, there’s some things i rlly like abt being a girl that i wouldn’t want to get rid of entirely?? is there a sexuality for being both a boy and girl???????? idk,,, i’ve been debating if im gender fluid, since sometimes i would prefer if i was a boy and other times i like being a girl,,, but i haven’t done enough research into it so im sticking to she/her pronouns for now, plus this is all kinda vague speculation

 so basically nothing’s changed with my gender/sexuality other then i’ve thought abt it more and have more of a vague concept of it

24. who has made the biggest impact in your life this year?

i feel like there hasn't rlly been a single person in particular who has affected my life this year? this year has definitely not been my best (probably one of my worst actually) not just bc of the pandemic but idk i felt like i was drifting away from my friends but couldn’t muster up the courage to do anything abt it??? but nearing the end of the year things have been getting somewhat better with that

i got tumblr this year and managed to become more active with some friends who i felt like i was loosing touch with (like luvu and dan!) and that definitely had a positive impact!! but i feel like if anything shows/fandoms/fictional universes made more impact on me this year then anything?? idk whenever i’m stressed i usually fallback on fictional media bc i love consuming storytelling content,,,, i probably focus more on other’s fictional worlds then my own LMAO 

my interests have shifted a lot this year but i feel like my comfort fictional characters and current favorite shows rlly helped me get through this year!

namely a few fandoms that have really made an impact were sander sides, dream smp, the owl house, etc..! i RLLY got into sander sides near the beginning of the year and rn near the end of the year im RLLY into dream smp (as you can tell) but even if i don’t post as obsessively about one fandom doesn’t mean i still don’t love it and it made a significant impact on my life!! i feel like every fictional universe i’ve been into has affected me just as a whole in some way and i’ve definitely subconsciously weaven aspects of them into my own stories! not to mention i’ve been rlly getting into some of my friend’s fictional universes lately and i have been DYING over them and they’re so underrated and inspire me so much!! namely the 4 queens story  (@luvuwite‘s), a NUMBER of @raventherobot‘s stories (im simp for vin’s story and also kayne and also EVERYBODYAJKSJKSJKADJK) and also i love @hypnoticcdan‘s oc viper and i dont know a lot about their story yet but i am LEARNING also horizon is baby we stan,,,,

[spidermanswifi]

savior: vii

[witchiestsuggestions]

Any tips for how to find your direction/orientation/focus as a witch? I feel a strong connection to crystals and stuff but I dont know where to go from my place. Do i have to do anything to count as a witch? Sorry im just at a loss ;w;;

Message me!

To answer your first few questions, just find some stuff with crystals! If you go to museums those little baggiea with the tumbled stones are a great place to start. My mom also got a pound of amethyst (kinda shitty stones, jewelry wise, but it works great for magic!)

Second, you don’t have to do anything to call yourself a with, despite what many hags will try to tell you (along with ‘emoji spells aren’t real,’ 'cursing is bad & evil,’ 'if you don’t have a pussy, you aren’t a witch or a woman,’ etc.)

Speaking of which, emoji spells are a great start for baby witches. If you have a phone, chances are you have emojis.

Also for baby witches, sigils are also great. Since they’re chaos magic (might not be, but no one has corrected me, so I’m going to assume there’s nothing to correct) it essentially means: FUCK EM UP. Sigils are really fun, there are tons of methods (get to rid of the vowels, using the shapes, etc.) & there’s no wrong way to do it.

Just do what interests you! If you decide sigils aren't for you, it doesn't hurt anyone. If you like glamour magic, that's fantastic, if not, no problem. Just search around some blogs & practice what interests you, there are no building blocks of witchcraft!

[4jimin]

1 and 23 for vmin 💕

Send me a pairing + a number: “what are you doing at my doorstep at 3 in the morning…” and “i don’t want to break up”

college au | i didn’t proofread this so im sry if it sucks :/

Jimin first thinks he is hallucinating when he hears Taehyung’s voice shouting his name from afar. People do say these things tend to happen when you’re in love – not that this was useful as a proof base for their statement, but Jimin did have felt Taehyung’s smell when the boy was nowhere near more times than he’d like to admit. Besides, it’s past two in the morning and even though Taehyung isn’t known for his best judgment in logical decisions, walking till Jimin’s house in the middle of the night to yell his name out there in the street is a bit too much even for him. So Jimin just pulls his blanket higher to his neck, embarrassed for having heard Taehyung’s voice out of nowhere. This is a whole other level of lame and cheesy – further if you consider they are dating for three months only.But, at the same time his eyelids fall closed, the voice surges again. Louder and clearer.Okay, maybe he isn’t hallucinating. Jimin walks out of his bedroom in direction to the living room with his already racing heart making his palms sweat and his stomach twist. Pulling the curtains away from the front window he confirms he isn’t crazy. Kim Taehyung, his actual boyfriend, is really, for real, in fact, on his doorstep at two – three? – in the fucking morning. “Kim Taehyung,” he calls in a loud tone while opening his door, half frowning and half fighting a completely random laugh trying to overpower him. “What the hell?” Although his lips are already curving in the corner, the laugher noticeable on his voice.His boyfriend stares at him for a second before losing balance and stepping everywhere trying to regain it. Oh. Of course he is drunk. If not, why would he be there this late? Jimin don’t remember moving from his place, but somehow he is in front of Taehyung, hands holding his waist before the boy tripped on his on own feet and sinked his nose on the ground. “What are you doing?” Jimin finally allows himself to laugh, sliding his arms to Taehyung’s back and burying his face on his neck, longing for his touch even though they had seen each other by the morning. “Why are you drunk at my door on a tuesday night?” his tone has somehow dropped, Taehyung’s smell being more than enough to create a haze in his mind. The younger wraps his arms around the smaller, having missed his boyfriend as well – but there is a hint of sulky-taehyung-mode on his voice. “M’ not.” He dizzily steps back and pulls Jimin with him. “Woah!” he starts laughing, “You’re really not… strong, if you’re trying to… help me to keep standing.” Taehyung giggles, his words are sloopy and they’re rolling out of his tongue with relative difficulty. Jimin sighs, worry making its way to his chest. “Seriously, how much have you drank?”“Relaaax, bro…” Bro? “Juuuust a little bit…” Taehyung laughs again.Jimin drags him into the living room and closes the door, blocking the cold wind from making its way inside the house. “Ah, warm…” Jimin turns just in time to see Taehyung snuggling himself up on the couch. He is holding a cushion close to his chest, eyes closed and that characteristic smile of him sprawled on his lips. Jimin welcomes the warmth on his chest caused by the sight before him. He walks till the sofa and kneels on the ground in front of the drunk boy.“Seriously, what are you doing here?” Jimin asks in a soft voice, but Taehyung pouts anyway.He shoots his eyes open with a frown. “Can’t I?!”“Come here?” Jimin scoots closer to tangle his fingers on his hair, their faces so close he can smell the alcohol on his lips and the perfume Jimin bought him on his skin. “Of course you can come here, but… you know… it’s 3 in the morning.”“So?!” Taehyung scowl deepens.“So…” Jimin continues, “You only do this kind of thing when you’re upset. It’s not that I’m not happy you’re here, I’m just worried.”Taehyung crosses his arms. “m’ not upset.”“Really? Cause you seem very upset to me.”“I’m not!”“Okay.”There’s a faint silence in the living room before Jimin rests his chin on the border of the couch and kisses Tarhyung’s nose.“So if you’re not upset why did you get this drunk on a tuesday night? We have classes tomorrow, y'know.”Taehyung fidgets the hem of his tshirt. “Just felt like it…”“Mhm-uhm.” Jimin knows he is lying, but agrees with a hum on the back of his throat nonetheless and gets up. “No, where are you going?!” Taehyung grabs his wrist with wide eyes. “Why are you going away?!”Jimin chuckles. “I’m not, I’m just gonna get some clean clothes for you to take a shower.” “No, don’t leave me.” The boy whines and Jimin thinks is very funny until he sees tears sparkling on the younger’s eyes. His chest tightens.“Hey, oh god. Hey, what’s up?!” he kneels down again. “Taehyung, why are you crying?” That’s all it gets for him to actually break into tears, his shoulders shaking and his lips tightly pressed together along with furrowed brows. “Taehyungie, hey baby…” Jimin cups his face so he is looking at him. “What happened?” Taehyung swallow a few sobs before he finds his voice again. “Y-you want t-to leave me, b-but I don’t want to leave you…” “What?!” Jimin almost laughs. “Baby, I was just going to–““It’s not that!” he complains – an o shape left on his lips – and sits straight to properly talk. “I heard you and Jin-hyung! You kept saying how it was too soon a-and how you didn’t know how I was g-going to react! I heard it!” Jimin watches him talk without a reaction, sitting on his ankles completely clueless of what to do, shock growing on his gut. “Y-you said ‘oh, but he can be so annoying sometimes, I don’t know if I can do this!'” Taehyung interprets Jimin’s voice with a frown and Jimin’s heart breaks, because the boy can’t seem to stop crying. “I-I drank b-because I was hurt!” he skrinks on his seat, knees broght up to his chest so he can sink his face on the space left in between. “I don’t want to break up…” When things finally click inside Jimin’s mind, he finds himself holding an incredulous laugh threatning to crawl out of his throat. He don’t seem to have a high tolerance for it, however, because on the next second he is laying on the ground, his loud cackle filling every silent inch of the room. He can’t believe it.“Yah!” he hears his boyfriend exclaiming, “Stop laughing!”Jimin props himself up in one hand, the other resting on his already-aching-belly as he tries to recover. Taehyung is looking at him with tears accumulating on his eyes and that’s what impells Jimin to climb the couch onto his lap and sweetly kiss him. Taehyung gasps, and Jimin is still laughing, but he doesn’t stop pecking the younger’s lips for a second, feeling so fucking intoxicated with love he can’t quite believe it. Taehyung turns his face to the side and Jimin takes the opportunity to bury his nose on his neck. “You dumbass…” he lets out giggling, “I don’t want to break up either.” Taehyung’s hands freeze on his waist. “No?”Jimin pulls back to look at him. “Of course not! God…” he shakes his head, “You’re unbelievable…”“W-why?” he closes his arms around Jimin’s back, body relaxing.“Because,” Jimin ponctuates, “I wasn’t talking with Jin-hyung that I wanted to break up with you! I was…” a blush spreads over his cheeks suddenly, “wondering if I should ask you to move over or not.” Taehyung is rendered speechless for a moment too long. When the silence is menacing to last enough to be awkward, Taehyung suddenly jumps on his seat, watery eyes shining with more than just tears now. “What?!” he screams, a wide smile exposing all of his teeth. “Of course you should!” “Oh, yeah?” Jimin murmurs then, a playful smile unable to be repressed on his face. He leans closer. “So…” he kisses the corner of Taehyung’s lips. “Kim Taehyung,” he moves for his soft cheek, “do you” and chin, “want to” and eyes, “move in” and nose “with me?”When Taehyung smile is too big to fit on his mouth, Jimin kisses him on the lips. “Yes. Yes, yes, yes. A thousand times yes.”

[nicksstoryvault]

Being a young alpha wolf had given Bucky a boundless delight of unlimited freedom; he felt the infinite ecstasy surging through his canine form as he openly embraced the sense of uncharted purity and vastness that his new domain offered. It was his kingdom of isolation to roam. He was safe from the merciless tentacles of HYDRA that leaked cold venom into his veins; able to raise his three pups without the clashing of the dark storms he faced as a tortured man.

Accepting this existence was an eternal divide from humanity, Bucky was cursed to live as a wolf, harness the untamed power of the wild and become a stalking wraith in the shadows. Hunting game wasn't easy, he didn't have an automatic sniper rifle, he wasn't armed with combat knives...His canine body was an apex weapon, a cunning and masterful predator of death and menace, contending with irresistible impulses of bloodlust.

Though he tried to discard the savage and relentless instincts to kill a targeted deer, his pups needed raw meat-it was vital for their survival, he needed to slay every week to feed their bellies. Sometimes he succeeded with a perfect killing bite, and other times he opted to scavaging leftovers from a pack's victorious kill before ravens devoured the meat. Today, Bucky was hellbent on mastering his hunting tactics, he spent a good hour outside his den, embracing the rhythmic flow of lethal harmony -his fangs were daggers and his agility an unstoppable force, but he lacked discipline, too hesitant to allow the wolf to overcome him.

Getting low on his furred haunches, Bucky listened to subdued murmurs of the forest and adorable squeaks of his dozing litter, lifting his long muzzle skyward and inhale the fresh scents of the morning. Squirrels were an exception for an easy meal, mostly the chubby ones. He needed bigger game.

"C'mon Buchanan, you gotta dig deep..." he growled heatedly, shifting his luminous steel-blue depths to a rotting log coated with lime green moss, oblivious that his display of brutal precision was being watched from the shadows of his den.

Locking onto a small rodent's scent, the massive alpha advanced in methodical and strutting paw-steps; cursing under his low breath as a potent thought of greasy-mouthwatering hamburger loaded with pickles breached his senses...Mmm, pickles. "Urgh, there's gotta an easier way of doin' this..."

Feeling a pulse of instinct surge through him, Bucky approached like a shadow of a knife, cutting into the hazy ray of sunlight. His pointed ears flattened, as he sniffed the pervading stench of rodent fur -either a bunny or squirrel emerging cluelessly into his kill zone. He didn't care-the impending kill was necessary, and his babies were depending on him. Stalking towards the undergrowth of bushes, he jutted his muzzle out, unerringly detecting a reachable trace of scent. His bushy tail straightened and muscles went stiff as he cemented his paws. He waited for his prey to poke out from the log. "C'mon, I don't have all day here," he vexed menacingly, not realizing that vicious snarl erupted, awakening something that was very dangerous and patient.

Brennen watched with unblinking eyes, the rush of excitement running through him was becoming so intense, he had foregone hiding himself behind the shrubbery and stood further out to get a better view of his father. "Get em', daddy! Get em'!" The little pup squeaked and barked spirited, bouncing on his little paws with sparkling eyes. He was oblivious to the chilling slithers of an encroaching predator, the likes of which he had never seen, moving through the shrubs and a cold and methodical pace. Venomous eyes latched onto his chubby little form, deeming him as easy prey.

A cold wake of dread suddenly pierced through Bucky's heart, he froze as his ears pricked upwards, listening to the alarming volume of constant rattle echoing in the dense shadow of the trees. He pivoted on his paws, casting a sharpened glare of his glacial blue orbs on the slithering presence approaching towards a reeling direction where squeaky yips played out. It was a distinctive and boyish giggle that he immediately recognized in a heartbeat: his little guy- detka.

Feeling his predator's edge quickly dull out by detachment towards the immense love of his son, breath lessened for a moment, as Bucky felt immobilized to budge as if he was falling back into the cryo chamber with Zola's hand pushing cruel force against his thunderous heart. "Bren-No, get out of here!" he rang out a frantic howl. His eyebrows fleetingly arched to the wideness of his livid eyes. Panic was spiking to unrestrained level. He barred his fangs, sucking back heavy intakes of air. His cinder furred visage colored by raging cries, pulse was deafening in his ears. Vivid clarity of memories of Sergeant Barnes delivering out his orders to his 107th division in the middle of HYDRA's warpath flared with his subconscious, he lost so many good men-friends when blinding strikes of blue energy leveled them into piles of ash.

The same unquashable sickness churned in his tensed belly. He wouldn't lose the most precious thing in his world, not his baby boy. The ache in his chest was mounting rapidly as he caught sight of the poisonous rattler coiling to thrust a lethal strike at his defenseless pup.

Sensing the snake's proximity of assault, Bucky drew out a warning snarl, his gaze unwavering to the snake's cold and soulless orbs. It was like staring into a reflection of HYDRA. A lifeless void. One bite and his son would fade away from his reach. Maybe he could sacrifice himself, shield Brennen and become the snake's victim of venomous precision. Heated tears welled in his glacial pools, as he called out his pup, challenging the snake's intent. "Fall back, kiddo...Do it now!"

The desperate barks coming from his father had only confused the wolfing whose jubilant spirit was still thriving with anticipation. He wondered briefly what his daddy was so uptight about and why he didn't want him watching. And yet, somewhere in the back of his thoughts, he couldn't help a nagging feeling that something was terribly wrong. The feeling festered into it manifested into a chill in mere seconds as he heard the shuddering noise of something lethal and unseen. "What's wrong, dadd—" An explosion of fire suddenly jolted from the little pup's frontal limb, that was as potent as a knife piercing his body. A yelp of pain followed by a terrified squeal permeated the airwaves, and little Brennen Barnes suddenly felt all sensation in his body evaporated into a shuddering mess of heat. "D-D-Daddy…" he whines, falling to the ground just in time to see the most terrifying and soulless black eyes he'd ever seen, gazing down at him from the body of an ugly lizard that had no arms or legs. What it had, was the most lethal set of fangs gleaming from its parted mouth. The thin trick of red dripping from it revealed to the helpless pup who his attacker was.

"No--Brennen!!" A roar erupted out of Bucky's depths, blank horror reflected in his livid steel-blue orbs as he stared at his second born curling into a fetal position, shivering in convulsing spasms against torrents of venom. His baby was dying --in minutes, he would lose his son. Growling viciously against his bared fangs, Bucky locked his murderous penetration onto the rattler, seething out drool as his vision flared into heated crimson. He was blinded with pulsating rage. Every fiber in his canine form tensed as he glared intensely at the snake. Within seconds of unleashing full momentum, Bucky lunged into the bush, allowing his savage instincts possess his cessation motion, and seized that hissing --cold-blooded-- demon into the clench of his gaping jaws. He clamped down hard, feeling the snake thrash violently--he didn't relent. His fangs struck deeper into scales until he ripped off the head with a lethal slice. The severed head dropped to the ground with a resounding thump, as the slithering body stilled. He threw the corpse away from his sight, and quickly went to his little guy, panting out hastened volumes of distress. He nudged his long muzzle gently over his pup's back, praying he was conscious. "Bren---you gotta stay with Daddy, M' gonna make you feel better." 

Brennen could barely hear his father's words that sounded like they were going farther away, or maybe the opposite. He felt like he was drifting below water, the world around him spun and he felt only the unshakable need to close his eyes and to rest. The darkness felt comforting but also so very wrong. His blue eyes struggle to remain open as they glisten with tears. "I'm tryin', daddy…" he squeaks in a weak voice. He felt more than just pain in this moment, he felt utter disappointment in himself about what he let happen. "S-Sorry, I in't listen…" He shivers, a coldness had begun to envelop him then as if he were stuck in a pile of snow. He could barely see the dark shape of his father looming over him, licking his muzzle with reassurance and to keep him awake.

Feeling his son's heartbeat lessening, Bucky froze like a block of ice, there was no way of describing the influx of pain that crushed over his thunderous heart. It hurt to breathe. A spike of dread punctured him, as he bled on the inside.

Lowering down onto his belly, Bucky reached for his limp pup with a sharp thrust of his forepaw, gliding Brennen close to his broad chest, and rested his head over the pup's timorous and pudgy form. He became motionless in the drifts of muted panic, feeling a throb squeezing so tightly as heated, unbidden tears leaked rapidly over his cinder fur. His blood morphed into sludge as fading-pained whimpers ghosted out of Brennen's tiny muzzle.

"S'okay, kiddo," he soothed brokenly, his Brooklyn timbre sounded brotherly-pacifying, as he nuzzled his snout against Brennen with all the strength and hope he salvaged in that moment he realized his world was ending. He was doing his damnedest not to become subdued with heartache-he needed to believe in the impossible.

Lifting his head up skyward, Bucky held back another rush of blurring tears, unashamedly whispering out a cherishing memory to ease the pain. "Y'know when Daddy was carryin' you and your sisters, you were the first one I felt...Boy, did you put me on the ropes...I know you were strong then, and you are now, Bren..." He sniffed closing his eyes to seal away the grim reality before him.

He grimaced tautly as pain wouldn't abate, detecting the corrosive stench of venom wafting from the bite mark gouged in his baby's limb. A halo of sunlight cast over Brennen's dark chestnut fur, bringing radiance over his infant form, a restoring caress that harbored empowering warmth to thaw out the iciness of dread."M never going t-to let you go, my brave boy."

The warmth that Brennen felt at his father's proximity lessened the shuddering sensation of loneliness he felt. He didn't want to be alone. Even though there were times he thought he wanted to be, he knew with absolute certainty now that he needed his family—his daddy and his sisters, to keep him on his paws. To make him feel loved and safe. But right now he was filled with a stifling sensation of helplessness that came with the burning he felt in his body, and the cloudiness in his head. He wanted to yell out, to tell his daddy how sorry he was for sneaking out, to tell him how much he wanted to be him, and how much he loved him. But his voice felt dry as if he hadn't drunk anything in a long time. His father's words though, gave him the courage not to feel afraid. To feel strong, and not weak. To feel like the brave boy his daddy believed he was. Burying his muzzle deep into the crook of his dad's arm, the wolfling shuddered as tears streaked from his eyes. "Not weak…Strong…" he murmured into his daddy's arm. He continued to shake and shiver, not so much this time out of pain, but out of defiance. Something within him had begun to stir from a dormant state, like a valiant steed daring to charge against the storm waging. His body began to feel cooler, the burning was subsiding as it was diminished by a rejuvenating force from within. "Daddy…I feel…" The pups whispers, his voice suddenly much stronger than it was moments before.

Hearing the slurring recede in his chubby pup's determined squeaky voice, as impending dread encompassed over his hammering heart, Bucky's pointed ears pricked up, as his teary steel-blue depths glanced tentatively down at his wounded baby huddled against his fore-leg. His listless eyes widened, alarmingly, as he barely progressed his turbulent emotions, Brennen's voice brought an anchoring sense of relief steering him out of the damning void of despair; and that's when he felt it. A dominant nexus of strength and vitality, heavy surges of unlimited -enhanced power flowing rapidly in his little guy's veins. The super-serum.

Bucky parted his long muzzle, drawing out a shaky breath, as he soulfully mirrored Brennen's stare of frosted azure and heated steel. A glimpse of restored hope that eased down his throbbing heart. "Yeah, you feelin' better, huh, kiddo?" He couldn't restrain his bushy tail from wagging, the convergence of the serum birthed new strength-life within his pup. "Do you feel that pal, cause you've got Daddy's strength now...Which means you're gonna be okay."

"…Strong." Brennen says, continuing his unfinished thought from moments ago, though his father's hopeful words still registered in his ears. "I feel strong, daddy." Brennen sniffed as he finally felt the resolve to lift his head up from his father's arm. There were two streaming lines of wet fur beneath his glistening eyes. He could feel the throbbing sting on his frontal limb begin to disappear. Better than that, he could feel his mobility returning at the same time. The icy dread the little pup felt inside about his impending end was beginning to melt the longer he remained still, almost afraid that at any moment now, the pain would come back. But it didn't. Whining softly, the pup raises his afflicted limb, and tests its mobility. The pain he felt wasn't intense, in fact, it was going away faster than he could think. "I'm okay…I'm…" The pup whispers, in awe torn between emotional relief and exuberance until the tumultuous storm of emotions manifested into a whiny sob of joy. "I'm okay, daddy!" The little pup barks with joy, crashing against his father's leg.

"Yes, you are, my malysh (baby boy)," Bucky returned with equal jovial ease, his voice lowered into soft Russian timbre that caressed his pup's drenched chestnut fur. The unbidden onslaught of gouging heartache receded from his depths; he couldn't restrain the heated tears welling in his glacial blue orbs, dire memories of snake attack vanished when he curved his forepaw over Brennen's small back. The venomous wake of death no longer grasped his baby's rebellious spirit-his life blood, the unbridled and feral essence of the Winter Soldier spared a life; instead of taking one. Lowering his muzzle to a tentative level, he nudged Brennen's tiny head playfully, conveying his restored happiness. He parted his jaws and whispered out a soulful confession that defined their loving bond. "You don't know how much I love you, kiddo, and I want you to know that Daddy will always have you back..." He graced Brennen's stubby muzzle, stroking a trek of the warmth of his tongue over the pup's whiskered snout."So, if you get your paws stuck in the mud, M' gonna be there to pull ya out."

The wolfling sniffed, overjoyed not just at the fact he survived the ugly lizard's attack, but that his daddy loved him so much to show this side of him. Ordinarily, the wolf pup thought mushy moments such as these were icky and only meant for softies like Rora or Mattie. He was supposed to be tough and not let anything get to him. Just like his daddy. It wasn't until now that Brennen realized there was more to being tough than just fighting bad guys and being a big scary wolf. Being tough meant not being afraid to show what you felt, especially to those you looked up to. "I love you too, daddy," he sniffed, raising his paw to wipe away the flow of tears that remained on his muzzle. "I want to be to just like you when I'm big. That's why I came out here," he pipes up, bouncing on his paws as the excitement he felt earlier began to rise to the surface.

Hearing such potent words fall innocently from his young pup's muzzle, Bucky was seemingly taken aback, he became motionless, feeling numbing prick spear through his heart, a frosted blade of unsuppressed guilt that pierced deeper each time his ventured back into the dismal abyss. An entire lifetime of countless death, torturous nightmares, and cold slumber. He avowed to never reveal that monstrous part of himself; not the ruthless and unhinged phantasm who was reborn by a lightning strike and delivered succession with every kill shot. He was haunted every day by the violent imagery his detached-scarred mind conjured up, and the unwavering scent of blood never left him.

Pinching his eyes tautly shut, Bucky lifted his canine head to the gravity of restraint, abandoning every influx pulse of rage; he strove for calmness--humanity, but a sudden rush of unbidden, pained tears broke that stubborn resolve. What had been a blithe moment of tangible closeness with his feisty little guy had morphed into a duel of unabated torment within himself. There was harm for a boy to look up to his father, he did the same, but this was an unparallel existence that bounded him into a void of thralldom, Brennen carried his visage and hellbent spirit, but not the lethal darkness that edged over his heart.

Dragging out a sigh to disguise a throated sob, Bucky professed with a contrite resonance, ghosting with a vehement snarl. "You can't be like Daddy, Bren," he whispered haltingly, grounding his paws firmer into the earth. "Hell, I don't want you to be like me..." He swallowed down hard, knowing that he could only have a limited-condemning answer to deliver to such innocent ears. "Daddy's not a good wolf, y'know those scary monsters that you kinda see in your dreams, I used to be one of em'..."

The weight of the confession coming from his father's lips not only puzzled Brennen, it rendered him speechless for a long moment. The thrum of his excitement still bubbled beneath the surface, but he suddenly found himself without a means of expressing his exuberance beneath the tortured gaze of his father—the only one in the world he looked up to. Shifting on his paws, the dark-furred pup gives his alpha a side-long look, "But you're not like that anymore. Are you, daddy?" He says with a pinch of hope in his eyes, his muzzle wrinkling with ardent sniffs. He didn't want to see his daddy like this. Not sad, and not full of doubt. The pain of remorse the wolfing felt in his chest was almost staggering, he releases a soft whine at the sensation. "You're not a monster. You're my hero." He barks, his depths of his blue eyes were filled with belief and resolve. He'd seen the beasts his daddy fought in the forest as he protected him and his sisters each day. The awe he felt was only outmatched by the love in his heart.

"Nah, M' not a hero, Bren," Bucky wrenched out a sniffle, feeling genuinely appalled with himself; the little male pup deserved warmth and unshackled happiness, something that he craved to embrace when the abysmal horrors of his restricted past emerged from the dark vaults of his murderous--destructive spirit. He was aware that Brennen was trying to ease the perpetual anguish that besieged him daily, sometimes the graphic imagery of his missions were too uncontrollable--heartrending to subdue, he never wanted his pups to know how messed up--damaged he was under the guise of the wolf. He didn't want to taint their pure light from the darkness harboring within. Whimpering out a pathetic squeak, he lowered his head, nuzzling his little tike smoothly, keeping him shielded against the broad expanse of his furred chest, just relishing the tangible closeness of a small heartbeat. "You see, kiddo, Daddy, well...uh...M' kinda like a soldier, and my mission is to protect and love you little furballs who just love to order me around." He quirked his muzzle into a boyish smirk, giving Brennen a wet lick, playfully over his back."Don't ya?"

Awash with warmth from his father's embrace, Brennen released a faint chuckle against his fur as he was besieged with small playful licks. "That's mostly Rora, daddy. She's the bossy one," he yips with a slight indignation. "But if you're a soldier, daddy. Then you're a good one." He understood only a fraction of his father's meaning between heroes and soldiers who fought for different things in different ways. But the little pup couldn't shake the feeling sheer admiration in his bones, even if he tried to. "I saw how to took down that snake. Can you show me how to hunt like you do, daddy? Can you show me, huh?!" The pup nearly bounced on his paws with excitement at the thought.

"Okay, Malen'kiy soldat (little soldier), Bucky drew out a hearty snort, feeling Brennen's uncontainable, headstrong enthusiasm reach new levels, the aggressive yips doused out the heated tension coiling in his veins, those boyish volumes only seemed to amplify by the second. It was a tempting blaze of innocence that he would be damned to discard.

Recoiling back, the young alpha cemented his paws over the moist ground, accordingly to his feral instincts, he balanced his bulked weight into a sniper stance, feeling a surge of dominance returning, his furred visage grew impassive--deadened. He willed himself to engage. Claws dug into the earth, arresting every beating pulse of the awakening forest, evoking the tactical, 

lethal enforcer inside to comply with the command of his impending mission. He thrust his long muzzle outwards, claiming a ripe scent of a wandering rodent. He glanced sharply back at his baby pup, his frosted steel-blue orbs gleamed with leveled fatherly tenderness as he delivered the extent of his instructions. "So...um, what you gotta do first, Bren, is get a whiff of your target, know your distance in the kill zone and then gun for it, never hold back, kiddo." 

Fascinated yet eager, the wolfing followed his father's instructions as he lowers his muzzle to the Earth and begins to audible sniff the area for any signs of prey. The excitement that he felt was floored as he suddenly catches a whiff of something repugnant close by. "Pew! Daddy, this smells like skunk." The wolfing barks with a comical twitch to his nose. He runs in a circle, eager to find some way of washing away the lingering scent until he finds himself diving his nose near a bush with daisies. Almost immediately, the wolfing relaxes. "Much…" The relief washes away and instead, a fogginess comes over both his eyes and muzzle. "A…A…Achoo!!" Throughout the forest, birds fly from their trees in alarm.

"That's so adorable," Bucky emitted a boyish chuckle, deep at the edges but genuinely soft to reassure his pup that he was relishing the moment. He felt a beaming warmth tug at his muzzle, as he flashed Brennen was a fanged smile, piercing through his luminous steel-blue depths, the countenance of menace faded into free youth, revealing the enkindling light of his imprisoned soul. He stalked methodically closer to the area of blooming white petal daisies, still intensity aware of the dangers that loomed in the shadows. He lowered his muzzle, playfully inhaling a whiff, as pollen smeared a yellow stain on his nose. "Woah, that's a pretty good smell..." He flashed his eyes with a mischievous glint at Brennen who ducked shyly into the bed of flowers. "Y'know that Daddy's favorite smell is your puppy fur," A ravenous growl erupted from his throat, as he pretended to hungrily lick his chops." Oh yeah, this big bad wolf could just eat you all up right now, kiddo."

Detecting the playful edge that entered his father's voice, the young wolf was filled with a mischievousness that brought him renewed joy and excitement. Thoughts of hunting prey were for the moment washed aside and he wanted nothing more than to have fun with his daddy. "Nu-uh, daddy! Can't eat me!" He barks, running in circles before hiding behind a small bush. Hype and adrenaline waged through his small form as he watches daddy play the role of hunter, until the wolfling pounces from the shrubs of greenery. "Rrarrrr, I got you, daddy!!" He playful roars landing on his father's massive back then proceeds to playfully nip at his ear.

"Woah," Bucky dramatically screamed as he gradually lowered down into the blades of moist grass and daisies, mindful of his pup who latched himself over the broad expanse of his furred shoulders. The needle-point puppy fangs tugging at his seized ear felt like a sheet in the wind compared to the extent of the pain he endured within hellish decades of being unmade -dismantled into a lethal killing machine, functioning by the static command that followed in sync with the red leather book that held Soviet trigger words to unleash the unmerciful delivery of soul-torn compliance.

Now, he responded to a new command, something far more powerful that made his condemned heart soar to unmeasurable heights-Daddy. As he felt the gravity of his boyish spirit pulling him down, it was like a redeeming and intoxicating wave release caressing against his chestnut fur; the steady crescendos of his heartbeat detonated an explosive surge of freedom. A prevailing blaze of tenderness bled through his menacing countenance; he was damn certain that nothing compared to snuggled warmth of his son's everlasting love--acceptance. He was reaching the zenith of unhampered ease; feeling like a hellbent--indestructible Brooklyn kid again, unbound and utterly free to roll on his back, fall into a realm of childish euphoria.

Arching his back into a conformable position, the young alpha stared intently at Brennen tumbling clumsily over his thickened length of his swollen girth, knifing his tiny paws fleetingly into layers of dark fur, as if he was strutting with deadly calculation in his determined paw steps. He couldn’t resist smiling, beamingly, at his pup’s display of mastering the Winter Soldier’s termination strut. "Hey, take an easy there, little killer, “ Bucky snorted out a laugh deeply, throwing a coltish grin rashly at his snickering pup.  His cool steel-blue irises amplified a wattage of luminous intensity, as his brows wagged. “You gotta watch those claws they ...um...kinda dug into Daddy in all the wrong places...” Brennen tilted his head, looking a tad confused which left Bucky feeling equally dumbfounded, he soothed a forepaw reverently over the adamant pup’s chubby form, holding him well-balanced on his stomach. “I mean s’just keep em’ above my gut level, okay kiddo?"

Brennen was confounded by his daddy’s show of discomfort until the meaning of his words became clearer to him. The wolfling had noticed for weeks now how his daddy was protecting his tummy whenever he went to bed or woke up. Rora always told him to be careful around daddy, that he was carrying extra weight that made his tummy ache. The male wolfling had always shrugged off his sister’s bossy attitude, but never once expected to see how much that part of his daddy ached if he touched it.

“Okay, daddy. I’ll be careful.” Brennen says, bobbing his head apologetically yet still maintaining an air of warm fun. Rather than let himself feel discouraged by his proximity to his father, Brennen felt much closer than he ever did. Today was a day he would always remember in his times of loneliness and uncertainty. He still believed in his heart his daddy wasn’t just a hero, he was the strongest and coolest dad ever. He felt so lucky.

Making his way over, the wolfling buries his head against his father’s chest, finding the warm fur to be comfortable as well as reassuring. "That better, daddy?"

"Yeah," Bucky drew out a breathless sigh, basking within the uncharted emotional nexus that pulled him beyond his vestiges of contentment; he felt conquerable against the prevalent force of his demons, the abiding--pure love that nestled against his heart evoked defiance to face the coming days--months. Palpable levity traced his faint wistful smirk, as he savored the heaviness of his pup's weight instinctively burrowing into his furred chest, broadening up the damnable reality that everything that drove his heart to ache moments before, faded with bursts of latching devotion. Humming up his throat, Bucky curved his head slight, just enough to rest his muzzle gently on his baby boy's head, shielding him with possessive heat as guarded emotions seemingly faltered. "I gotta tell ya, Bren, you're more like Daddy than you know..." He murmured, soulfully deep, his timbre smooth as melting butter, edged with graveled shadow of menace--echoes of the unyielding soul beyond the wolf. He wanted more than anything for his little guy to live a free life---and never fall into the battle zone of darkness. "You've got my fire and spirit, that will keep on gettin' stronger as you get bigger and it's up to you, kiddo, to make sure that no one takes it from ya." 

Listening to the steadiness of breeze slicing through the evergreens, Bucky closed his eyes, greedily breathing in the puppy scent wafting off Brennen's downy fur, unknowingly smiling as his tongue glided a soothing trek over the snake bite---a reminder that his son would be a hellbent fighter until the end of the line. “You were a brave little guy today, Bren,” he whispered soothingly in a monotonous tone, nudging the pup’s chubby rear with his snout. A calming serenity returned to him, the dark storm of dread had passed. He was no longer in disarray of anguish--his detka was radiating with dynamic inrushes of the serum, flushing out the last remnants of venom, as he felt Brennen’s tiny muzzle whisking along the sharp edge of his lax jaw. Faint drowsy coos and squeaks revealed to Bucky that his baby pup was content and warm---alive. Smiling lazily with quirks tugging at his muzzle, Bucky just settled his bulked weight deeper into the dewy grass, not allowing pulses of uncertainty to steal away this redeeming--beautiful moment of peacefulness with his son. Nothing ever felt so rewarding.

[anomalagous]

lc’s ongoing long-ass list of what the fuck, teen wolf, and other sundry E606:Ghosted edition.

scott getting a little tiny bit snarly at the sheriff for not believing~~ in stiles gives me life

this old-ass map not only puts beacon hills on top of a real life place called scotty place which still makes me laugh, but also substantially more north and eastward than i originally estimated.

why the fuck didnt naziwolf just get the fuck outta bh?

why did he choose to stay and teach high school of all things?

california requires an 18 month accreditation course and a certain GPA of teachers who do not have an education degree, i know this from direct experience. its been three months since naziwolf busted out of his bacta tank, so what the fuck

if he forged his credentials, how

when

when did he actually learn all of the post WW2 physics and electromagnetics things he clearly genuinely knows and has a genuine interest in?

did the dread doctors read him bedtime stories from their science journals?

if so, what the fuck

i guess if youre an alpha werewolf you can sleep in the backseat with no seatbelt and its not a big deal if you crash

good job on malia being the driver and not crashing them im proud of her

reading the date of the canaan abduction in the standard american way it was april 8th, 1987, which cant be a coincidence given that’s stiles birthday (albeit pre-stiles)

if canaan has been abandoned for 30 years, who has been cutting these obviously not overgrown lawns and trimming these obviously not overgrown accent shubberies

why isnt that flag beat up or torn in any way?

kudos on giving that convertible the old 80s style california plates but why arent any of the windows on any of the cars busted out? no flat tires? no rust or missing doors?

also that shot of the ‘town’ where there was more substantial damage looked fake as hell and the crosswalk was proceeding at the wrong angle and i cant unsee it.

why is there still power running to these street lamps?

for that matter who has their street lamps scheduled to turn on in the middle of the day?

was that block party banner over the street lettered on both sides? it reads properly no matter what side youre looking at, which seems weird.

why is there blood on the carousel? was that explained? we’ve never seen the ghost riders’ gun draw blood that i can recall

im not even sure we’ve really seen their whips draw blood per se and certainly it wouldn’t have caused that kind of blood stain

also why is the blood still wet and red 30 years later? why wasn’t that newspaper rotted out? either time impacted this town to make it shitty as hell or it didn’t, pick one, you cannot have both. it still rains enough in california to totally disintegrate a newspaper in thirty years.

how the fuck did that carousel function even that tiny bit after 30 years in the elements?

why did melissa have to sneak chris argent around, couldnt he have just declined the operation against medical advice?

also good to see scott got his utter inability to lie from his mom

even if malia isnt wearing 100% stiles’ void-hoodie how could the costume department have thought for a minute we wouldnt have thought that was the void hoodie?

malia having a hallucination of theo in the same episode he comes back in for real seemed both rushed and entirely unnecessary.

in fact these hallucinations seemed wholesale unnecessary and neither scott nor malia deserved that nonsense

were all of these dead leaves already on location or did some poor asshole have to ship them in and then ship them out again

come to think of it, at first i was really excited to see coral/eucalyptus trees as they are actually trees that are in california (as opposed to the type of oak the nemeton is, which is distinctly Not a type of tree in california) but then i realized those are Southern California Trees and if beacon hills (and canaan) are that far north and close to the oregon border, the trees should be way more pines and evergreens and not coral or eucalyptus or ... any deserty tree, really.

seriously were these hallucinations just to show malia can feel sad too?

malia was wearing really subtle gold eyeshadow earlier. now it’s dark shadowing up to her browbone. does being a werecoyote also mean being able to shift your makeup at will? cause thats cool

do little girls seriously still play with baby dolls while hitting their first strides of puberty? im beginning to think i was never actually a little girl.

how much younger than malia was kylie supposed to be? bc she looks like 12 here but malia was like... 10 when the desert wolf murdered her family, right? was SHE the younger sister??

teen wolf shamelessly reusing shots with new filters on them like never before. this ain’t even the fifth time i’ve caught them doing this, this season, and i’ve literally never seen them do it in any of the other seasons.

im not sure anybody told kylie’s actress she wasnt gonna get to make out with shelley

how do werecreatures get piercings? or were her ears pierced first before the change?

why does anyone let liam make any decisions, ever?

i do not get why everyone finds naziwolf so hot

seriously i have a little tree-bush exactly like this right outside my door/garage and that shit is wild and untamed in just a month of no trimming in 30 years it would not have that nice slender shape anymore

also trees being choked to death by kudzu or whatever all these vines are dont look that healthy

is there even kudzu in california??? ive never seen so many vines in all my 10 years of living here.

the first house scott goes in theres like no tv in the living room but there is one chair (with no dining table) all alone in the dining room area, which just looks sad.

oh sorry two chairs set up in what was clearly the worlds most melancholy staring contest.

my dentist used to have that exact sailboat wallpaper trim around the top of his exam rooms.

scotts bullying a door.

have melissa and chris argent actually told the pack about the head-biting yet bc i feel like they should know

i think more people have asked scott if he’s okay in this episode than in the last three seasons, which is sad bc it’s basically just lydia and malia that do it.

that one house has some brutal earthquake damage in its exterior wall.

poseys microexpressions are so woefully underrated, he really is brilliant.

i have more grey hair than jr bourne and that makes me really angry

i like that they’re doing alchemy with druidic compounds/hedgemagic/whatever you want to call it more than i could possibly express.

why is there a porch loveseat on the step up to this one house but that FLAG IS ENTIRELY INTACT?

how convenient that all three of them were looking at that window when lenore decided to fuck with the drapery.

that said scott’s resultant HOLY SHIT?!?? face is amazing

how has lenore been surviving in this town, does she not need water, electric, heat, groceries? where did the lemons for the lemonade come from?

all this wood paneling is the most 70s thing i have ever seen in my life

i appreciate the little cast iron redwood decoration with the ‘m’ on the bottom of it.

everything!! in!! this!! house!! is!! brown!!

that piano as a busted af bass key there.

i feel like i’ve seen that other metal flower/leaf decor before. the new version of the stilinski house, maybe?

lenore has an intimidatingly large smile and i feel like that as an intentional casting choice

how come malia and scott couldnt hear her heartbeat after scott explicitly called out that there were no heartbeats? or for that matter not hear that caleb also didn’t have one? (presumably.)

im not 100% sure but i think malia is holding scott’s hand when they enter the dining room area of lenore’s house, which is adorable so i accept no other reality now.

i honestly feel really bad for lenore.

i would say the fisheye lens is s6′s slo mo but the slo mo didnt go anywhere

i dont know if its supposed to be fancy or artisinal or whatever you called that in the 80s but dont put green shit in your lemonade, green shit does not belong in your lemonade. lemons. sugar. water. it isn’t hard.

malia like chugs a good half of her glass at once, but when she sets it back down it is more full than any of the other glasses. i prefer to think she just faked drinking it to try and gain lenore’s trust than it’s a continuity error from the props department.

when lenore starts using her banshee powers to shake the house, it also magically converts the lemonade into water.

lenore has a pair of decorative ducks on her wall but they appear to be two male mallard ducks, so. gay duck decor.

so when does lydia get to have telekinesis?

i dont think im a very big fan of how angela harvey handles scott.

malia did NOT make a fist like she was really committing to trying to punch out that window.

seriously scotts the alpha he doesnt need lydia to give him permission to do things scott thinks need to be done

that being said scott going into the basement with a creepy kid when youre obviously in some kind of horror movie trope was stupid

the cameras they used for the senior pack team were super blurry anytime anyone moved even the littlest bit, its so annoying.

scott barely being tall enough to reach this tiny-ass basement window is endearing to me

there is no way a vhs tape that wet would run. i remember vhs tapes. they were not sturdy.

i feel like we used to have the same VCR in my parents’ room tho

also what the hell camcorder did they record this on that put it straight on VCR, camcorders in the 80s had weird little small VCR tapes you had to put in a converter. that was just a standard VCR tape.

also why are there jumpcuts in the home video? did somebody cut the original footage and THEN put it on a standard VCR tape?  how much fucking work was THAT??

caleb goes from 0 to 100 on the creepy poltergeist scale real quick

well okay maybe from like 40 to 100

banshee duel yessssss

literally why would noshiko do this after she saw what happened with the nogitsune

not that i necessarily think theo is as dangerous as the nogitsune but he is well bad enough

look at this worthless white boy doing this shit against all the advice of the woc around him

why does the sword do this, i thought the power was in kira and not the sword

if the power is in the sword why couldnt noshiko fix her own damn blade

look at this other worthless white boy even more worthless than the first

that looks like melissa is putting like grout on chris’ injury that does not look comfortable

oh look hes screaming imma guess it was not in fact comfortable

gratuitous jr bourne fanservice

awwww theyre holding haaaaands again

how did this kid get on the stairs the last time we saw him he was by the tv, why did scott and malia let him herd him like this

i appreciate malia’s willingness to beat up a kid poltergeist immensely

of the pictures on caleb’s walls, many are pictures of insects. one is a blue crab. one says ‘guten’ on it, which somehow entertains me a lot.

this is the second time this episode has tried to make me scared of carousel horses

the vhs footage loops while no one is attending to it which is not how vhs tapes work

malia is such a treasure

that being said having nearly drowned twice in my childhood this whole drowning-on-dry-land conceit is not super great for me

screencapping this is so gross

i love lydia’s fierce banshee scream face

so the blood was on the carousel before the wild hunt attack, as we see in lydia’s vision. SO WHY IS IT THERE??

THERE ARE KIDS RIDING ON THIS CAROUSEL WHILE SOME OF THE HORSES ARE BLOODY

poor skateboard bro couldnt even take his skateboard like rude wild hunt

i feel like there’s a lot more ghost riders here than there are in beacon hills. maybe the ghost riders just come for particular towns and the ones in bh are actually like... cora isaac and danny.

its amazing how much younger a good foundation can maybe somebody look

did liam SERIOUSLY just tell theo he can kill whoever he wants? did i hear that right? bc that is a TERRIBLE thing to tell theo, who has ALREADY KILLED A LOT OF PEOPLE, even if what you meant was ‘dont kill us you need us’.

i cant believe we got this cheap knockoff as an excuse to not have kira and then they didnt even let him have the powers he needed to do the job

otoh watching his ass get blasted back into the tunnels was satisfying

literally nobody cares if youre okay theo you murderous fuck

i wonder how many times scott had someone steadying him telling HIM he has to breathe like hes doing for malia right here

i should really keep a tally of how many times scott does stiles’ lizard tongue thing while stiles is gone

this is gross of me to think while the character is basically drowning but hey now i know what scott looks like with his bottom lip all wet and covered in somewhat translucent stretchy goo--jizz. okay. it looks like jizz.

scott mccall nearly drowns on dry land after a lifetime of severe asthma and the first thing he does after is ask if malia is ok

luckily THIS time she asks if HES okay to but jeez

he looks so shocked and confused to be asked extra jeez

more scolia handholding, this time while fleeing danger

i was literally three in 1987 and i still have more grey hair than lenore who was demonstrably an adult in 1987 I AM VERY ANGRY

that being said i realized why caleb here’s clothing was bothering me so much. nobody had shorts that long in the 80s. everybody wore short as hell shorts in the 80s. it was thighs everywhere.

these stupid motherfuckers taking theo to scott’s HOME and putting him in scott’s SAFE SPACE without even WARNING HIM oh my GOD

those better not also be scott’s CLOTHES

ok but WHY are the wild hunt trapped? did they BRING the northern lights or is the northern lights related to what’s trapping them?

excuse me but WHEN did lydia see anything related to what happens to people after the wild hunt takes them and why didnt we get to see it too?

seriously its like if scott is thinking of stiles then lizard blep

im so mad at liam for bringing theo back and putting him in scotts house i cant even see straight

and i just know that this anger that scott is being allowed will be it

and in a week or two itll be working with theo like nothing ever happened

im honestly shocked he even got this much

he even got undercut there by malias (also justified) rage

cool that the morrigan got a namedrop but i dont trust them with that story eitherrrrr

man let me tell you if this was martin and not scott and somehow he had been murdered and resurrected and was then confronted with his murderer in his pack house that murderer would not fucking leave alive

im still kind of mad that this season brought claudia back to life just to make her so sketch and make me kind of hate her, i didnt want to hate her

oh okay its a different weird leaf decor piece than the other one

oh yeah noah OKAY NOW youre starting to believe BUDDY you have faith issues

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Erica Enders-Steven: I can't believe wr got kidnapped and thought it was fun

Alex: shes been crying all day and shes so pissed at herself for being stupid

Me! ERICA! HOW DARE YOU!

Erica: me? 😇

Me: yes you. Who do you think you are?

Erica: Erica Enders-Steven. I'm in love with both Eric and Steven. I'm a hermaphrodite

Me: are you upset--.

Erica: Steve got caught

Me: no he didn't baby

Erica: he was on the kill list

Me: so he should be sexy and brave

Erica: i know -- but--- what? Sexy and brave?? He's stupid!! You could got caught!! You could been killed! I don't like you for that!! But you love me?

Eric Longhorn: holy shit whaaaaattt? 😇😍😎

Erica: Steve?

Steve: let me get my bag.

Me: have they matched?

Alex: yeah!

Me: let me confer with my counsel. How long?

Snoop: it would only match to Eric and not Steven,so,she wouldn't do anything

Me: you see why your eye is so crossed? That part is Steve always staring at you

Erica: i need contacts!

Me: because they injected cameras in your right eye when you went to school

Erica: aliens?

Me: yeah i have one too when they turn it on i see a little thread like near the top. That's the wire implanted into the brain from the retina. And now let me tell you something steve is always looking at ya because he's in love with you.

Erica: it makes me feel good

Me: I get mad about having to wear contacts too, I can't wait till Christmas

Erica: no contacts!?

Me: and no alien video tapes either. And we will be able to see further than 20/20. They knew they would die and weren't going in the house. The girl texting them was also evil as Hell. Alexis Dejoria. They said, no to her in the car

Erica: sabrina but they were still in danger

Me: Erica your heart will always protect you because of anxiety and his heart will be protected by love and cherishmenf you can give him. He has his own intuition and anxiety. He stares at you so much your eye is forced to see your own nose.

Erica: and that is rare...? I know it is.

Me: if you know you know. If he knows he knows. When you see your nose he knows how you feel. He knows why you're scared, he listens to your anxiety.

Erica: I see. But didn't he know?

Me: he was 2 car lengths behind the car in front of him when he was hit 9 times. When the cars in front stopped so he could be smashed into the ones in front, he put it in reverse. Why would he?

Erica: for me, my anxiety because he knows i care.

Me: yes. They had a whole plan. I wouldn't said put it in reverse last night--Alex blocked it out so I couldn't see

Erica: Steve did me, he text

Me: you told me he put it in reverse. But i saw 4 smashes. Point baby. If I saw him smash towards the car and have to smash reverse I would been scared.

Erica: like he did me when he told.

Me: but see.. Me seeing it as it occurred is different Because would they live all night? When Steven told you -- it was over and he was safe. Listen baby. Had they not hit his car, i wouldn't known Michael was a kidnapper.

Alex: OMG,omg no shit!! Its true that's when she knew

Erica: ahhhhh!! 😇 you needed him there!! Ahhh I see!! Oh shit! Now im mad at him for saving the day! Now i look like a jealous cow!

Me: i didn't want Alex to go. But i knew he wanted to and would no matter what I said. And I knew i needed his help to help and so i said Go although i knew it was dangerous

Erica: do you think it's sexy?

Me: i just want to see him.. So... Yeah.. Yeah I'm appreciating his body and his life and his ability to stay in his body and his bravery. Im more thankful. If you're asking I'm horny. When Its over... Yeah. Like if Alex was telling me id be soooooo mad if he told in a room full of people.

Erica: huh?

Alex: i don't understand you so let's answer Erica!

Erica: she blushed!

Me: cause dam that's hot. That's my man. Nah. Uh. My man don't say shit to a person until I reward him for good behavior. Tell me first So i hear all that oomph and passion and excitement ans clarity. The 3rd time a person tells a story they're exhausted and i don't even get it good.

Alex: what the Hell?! You always get it good! What?!?!?

Me: no... Watching other people admire your man and you're like one of the fans... And you're included thr first time you hear? Kids is different. "Isn't daddy amazing? Now let's go to bed!!" But you hear a story and see all these people Stare in wonder and amazement. That's the impact. Not the person. Not the actions they did but he's admired

Alex: you're not crazy are you?

Me: no I'm not baby. When my man tells me what he did all brave and dangerous. He tells me first "baby it was dangerous out there omg what happened was-- and I'm so glad I'm home to see you" then you go with and he tells other people and they give bad advice you already went through and discarded earlier in private and sometimes they give unknown good fresh tight advice. But he got yours first. Number 1. Now i don't mind the "shit babe. I just want to fuck and go" then we dress and he's all "I should did something different or this or that. I'll tell you later" and he tells me when. Over dinner or at a friends house later. Because he came to me first. Told me he was okay. Said he loved me and the experience didn't change him so he didn't any more. There wasn't a clone of me in the street with a kitchen knife -- which happened a lot actually. But came to check If i was okay. If a mole was there. Or certain things. So Steven text you when?

Erica: oh god i crush!! 8 am this morning

Me: so then you rushed to see him

Erica: omg i did!

Alex: she did! She was here at 805 i swear!

Me: so she what got all pent up

Snoop: she doesn't know Eric wants to bougta Bing Steven. Shh she doesn't know I know.

Me: alright so 2 men i got experience honey. So yall been together as friends all your life

Erica: and we're good friends, too! Oh i get this! They're in love, too!!

Me: I heard what you did last night. Where you slept. So what time did Eric get a text?

Erica: the last text he sent me said "oh and text Eric this" and i did! I was right next to!

Me: maybe he's shy. Maybe he trust you to do as he asks although it's silly. Maybe You would hand Eric the phone. You would tell Eric ASAP. Your name is Enders Steven. You match with Eric. How do you think Steven feels included?

Erica: not

Me: you know why we kept Enders? Your, our generation, this lifetime is an end to pain. It is an end to hermaphrodite pain which you know about not getting your soulmate. So you think Eric isn't into Steven because he's not been into you, hermaphrodite, too busy or dangerous. So you are checking to see that it's safe for Steven to be in the relationship?

Erica: subconsciously might be

Me: Do you know Alex had Mark killed?

Erica: no

Me: Mark turned evil, he beat and raped me.

Erica: so, he had him killed.

Me: it happened a lot. Tree. 2 beatings and 55 rapes where I said clearly to stop. So you know the 6 soulmates and Armageddon. That is why it was named "stop Steven" NEVER had a hermaphrodite been allowed with a singular gender.

Erica: whaaat?!?!

Me: so we bookmarked your life with your name. Go back and remember to check all is ok. We wanted it easy to remember and be a directive in case we had to keep hermaphrodite to hermaphrodite only. I had to win to allow you Steven.

Eric: oh yes! Thank God!

Erica: serious?

Me: for 26 years busting my ass all day and night for love.

Erica: serious? Im getting so happy now! I get to keep Eric AND Steven?!

Me: yes

Erica: oh hallelujah!!

Me: so your name was a question. If yes a directive. And now it's just Embers. One hot firery passion ball!

Alex: baaabe! You can't just change her name!

Me: torreintal fire balls of two long horns. All for you baby. That is why it was LongHornS and 2 Eric.

Brittany: son of a bitch! I should have known it was true!

Me: so know it now has been blessed. It HAS to be this way

Goddess Armageddon: sabrina told me, i was asking problems to foresee, I guess hermaphrodites getting to edgy to want me out as queen. They don't know what i went through nor why I don't want to be hermaphrodite for originality. Its nothing against them. What's worse is I think they will forget them. Who they saved in the first place !- regular first generation humans.

Me: and I always want them to remember how special they knew they were in their first life, as i know i am in mine. To respect my choices not to be a herm and how here I am as an original from Armageddon, Still human in my human formed shape as the first American on Earth. The first person in the world and What i looked like. I have passion for that. I know with no pornography they will forget the passion for singular gender and the way it even looked, so they should have that and I don't mean kids!! They need their privacy. I mean another lover. And so i complicate things But i hope they love me for it.

Brittany: we do! Erica you can nod...

Erica crying, nods. In 1996. In 2020 shes making out with Steven in front of God and everybody.

Alex: and now they're having sex

Me: sounds like an exciting day. Looks like we did good ole king always telling the truth.

Alex: Happy Birthday, baby Chandler.