#i feel like i've done so little compared to last saturday but i also did intentionally start with easy-to-pack shit

[slippery-minghus]

whew. just spent what felt like forever packing one (1) very large box of kitchen things. doesn't feel like i did a lot, but it was just as much time and effort going through the shit and throwing out what i don't need as it was actually packing. so having only one box to "show for it" feels a little misleading lmao.

taking a short break now, and then one more spurt of packing before i call it quits for the day 💪

[thewatercolours]

@kursed-curtain and @telthor tagged me to share five comfort characters. Thank you! Now laying aside the fact that you've set me an impossible task if I take it in the "favourite characters" sense, I'm going to try to think of characters who've been a source of warmth or hope for me when I was struggling in one way or another.

Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities. It feels dreadfully silly, with my trivial problems, to compare myself with a cynical, chronically alcoholic, unrequitedly lovestruck, burnt out, washed up lawyer who becomes a big stormin' hero and literally goes to the guillotine in place of the man he hated. But I've had times when my small troubles seemed awfully dark in their own ways, and I believed I was the cause of all my own failure and problems, like Carton does for so long. And then Carton doesn't settle for that - he rises to the one vital occasion he can, and lives an entire life in those hours remaining, transformed, recalled to life. And if he could do it in the face of such horrors, I too can get up and do some tiny good. He's the character that embodies the battle against self-hatred and the possibility of hope, and he is awesome. Plus James Wilby had a brilliant performance as Carton in the 1989, and that certainly doesn't hurt.

2. Shallan Davar and Wit from The Stormlight Archive (but most specifically Words of Radiance and Oathbringer) I did a little writeup about them over here to go with the art I did of them. These two only have a few duo scenes together in the whole series, but those scenes mean the world to me.

3. Frodo Baggins. Please do go on loving Sam. Sam is eminently loveable and laudable. But Frodo... he's so easy to pass over, to dismiss, even while praising him. Frodo is the hero who wins by mercy. In Tolkien's own words:

"Frodo indeed 'failed' as a hero, as conceived by simple minds: he did not endure to the end [...] They tend to forget that strange element in the World that we call Pity or Mercy, which is also an absolute requirement in moral judgement (since it is present in the Divine nature). In its highest exercise it belongs to God[...] I do not think that Frodo's was a moral failure. At the last moment the pressure of the Ring would reach its maximum – impossible, I should have said, for any one to resist, certainly after long possession, months of increasing torment, and when starved and exhausted. Frodo had done what he could and spent himself completely (as an instrument of Providence) and had produced a situation in which the object of his quest could be achieved. His humility (with which he began) and his sufferings were justly rewarded by the highest honour; and his exercise of patience and mercy towards Gollum gained him Mercy: his failure was redressed."

...

Hmm... it's getting late, and I'm trying to back on my horse as far as cutting down on Tumblr time for Lent goes (I've been a bit of a failure in this regard, but I have a new plan. ☺️) Saturday's a solemnity, and hence not Lent, so maybe I shall come up with four and five then.

[umichenginabroad]

Dublin Week 14: A Weekend of Nice Weather

Hi there. Sorry this post is a tad late; I had a paper due on Tuesday and had to work rather hard to undo all my procrastination. But, since I procrastinated so hard last week, I have some fun stuff to tell y'all about.

Once again, the first half of the week was pretty uneventful. I went to classes, got started on a paper for my archaeology class (foreshadowing), and went to climbing.

By Friday though I was fed up with this monotony, and my friend Colin and I decided to visit Dun Laoghaire (pronounced "Dun Leery"), a posh little town about 45 minutes down the coast by bus for the evening. Despite having rained nearly all week, it was a gorgeous evening, and we had a great time walking up and down its deceivingly long pier as the sun set. After wandering the streets a bit more to find some food, we called it a night and went back to campus.

Some images from my walk on the pier at Dun Laoghaire

On Saturday I didn't feel like doing much work (foreshadowing), and since the weather was still pretty nice, I decided to go to the botanic gardens. The botanic gardens are about an hour north of campus by bus, and being one of the national museums, are free to enter. I walked around there for about an hour and got to see some lovely plants and enjoy the nice weather.

Some of the botanic items I saw at the botanic gardens

At the gardens, I also happened to run into a friend from the mountaineering club who invited me to join a group of club members at a pub that evening. Deciding I still had plenty of time to finish my paper (foreshadowing), I obliged, and later that evening I met back up with them and we all enjoyed some pints.

On Sunday, the weather was absolutely gorgeous. I'm talking weather well into the 60s and not a cloud in the sky. While this may seem unimpressive compared to the summery weather y'all have been getting in Ann Arbor lately, these conditions are were the nicest I've seen all semester and felt especially nice considering the weeks of rain and cold we'd been having. Instead of doing a typical Sunday hike, the mountaineering club did an outdoor bouldering day in Glendalough. (Bouldering for those who don't know is climbing very short and challenging routes without a rope, instead using mats and having people spot you). A part of Glendalough used to be a granite quarry, so this part is filled with some lovely boulders, and everyone had a great time enjoying the lovely weather and doing some outdoor climbing. My friend Colin and I even got a chance to cool off in a nearby stream.

Some views from Glendalough

The weather was so nice I even got a little bit sunburnt, but I'm not even gonna complain about that since being outside was just so nice.

When I got back later in the evening, it finally dawned on me that I had nearly half of my 3500 word essay due in two days, so I spent the rest of the day, as well as Monday and Tuesday finishing it up.

But now the essay is done, and I'm back to enjoying my life here in Dublin. I'm going to Copenhagen this weekend, so stay tuned for my next post all about that!

Sam Adler

Materials Science and Engineering

University College Dublin

[whimsicaltwine]

ok so i've seen a couple people freak out over my tags on this post and i'm a bit insane on this saturday evening and so now i'm going to elaborate a bit. for context, the tags in question:

(this got long, so i'm putting it under a readmore)

several things about this. first, sausage. I've been rewatching season one again lately, and am at about when xornoth starts showing up in fWhip's pov, and one thing that has been striking me are the conversations between him and Gem that Sausage is not privy to. Worrying about him and discounting him go hand in hand, in many of these; early on in canon, they tease him, pointing out how he's silly (he is) and a bit too inclined towards conflict (he is) and it's all lighthearted and he doesn't mind but it creates a dynamic where you get the sense the two of them are shooting each other exasperated glances and rolling their eyes at him. They groan or laugh, Sausage keeps clowning around to get a rise out of them, and they go sure, Sausage, whatever you say, Sausage, and look at each other like exasperated but fond parents might at the antics of their toddler.

Somewhere along the line, these little looks, the ones that don't go over Sausage's head, the ones he thinks about at night when he compares himself to them and finds himself lackluster, the ones he tries not to think of that way because he also really honestly does have fun annoying them, turn into judgemental conversations behind his back and then worried ones. They talk about how he can't really do magic at all and then how his relationship to Xornoth is concerning. After it all, they take him back, but the rift Sausage's actions caused doesn't go away; it smooths over, they acknowledge he suffered, too, and that they love him enough to let him into their lives again, but all of that still happened. So just. With the context of all that - leaving him. Running away from the end of the world in what they believe is a life or death choice and not trying to pick him up on the way out. They love him!!!! They love him so much and they think of him often after everything and wish he was there but the fact of the matter is that in the moment, when they had the choice to get him, they did not. And the last thing they did was hear him do that thing he does where he says things in a lighthearted or joking tone (oh, haha, look at how wild and out of pocket this is, roll your eyes at me and sigh fondly) when really it's a plea to talk about them, if not a cry for help, and not listen. Neither of them listen. aoauauaufhafjaklfjajdflkj god I'm obsessed with the wra ok

Second thing: on stream sometime in season two, we got this from Sausage that I had to really hunt through my notes app to find:

“So technically, I’ve done a lot worse, in my, in my past, uh, life, uh, it, you know, throughout Mythland’s time period after the cataclysms. Ok, I did a lot worse, ok, I literally murdered people, uh, to fix things, ok, that technically messed up timelines and time frames and a lot of things happened that weren’t supposed to happen, but you know, that, taking a statue is absolutely nothing, it’s absolutely nothing. I technically murdered some people - I’m not gonna say who I murdered, I technically tried everything I could and I did a lot of bad things, ok, there’s a lot of things that I don’t even wanna bring up.

Sausage is trying to stop the apocalypse, yeah? And here he says he tried killing people to do that. Now, what kicked off all that? Which people would be the most logical to kill in order to prevent everything? How did it feel, looking into fWhip's eyes with his sword drawn? Even if it wasn't his fWhip, even if this version had a few memories different or a few scars in different places. He must have looked confused as much as he did angry and shocked because Sausage was supposed to be better now; he was supposed to have his best friend back. How did he scream, before the life went out of his eyes? How did Sausage cry? How many times did he have to try it in different universes before he could gather the fortitude to go through with it?

sometimes out of the blue ill remember that actually wra never got reunited. like thats our closure. he ran off to other timelines and got lost and could never find his way back home. that moment in the bar from season 1 was the last time those three ever talked. and they really did spend the rest of their lives never sure of what happened to the other.

[sinswithpleasure]

The Playgirl (ft. LOONA's Yves) [Part 2] [Female Reader]

---------------

Hello! I'm back with part 2!

Futa!Yves x Fem Reader, just in case ya forgot.

If you prefer, this is also on AO3 and AFF!

---------------

Yves shows up on time for tutoring, to your surprise.

"Hey baby."

"Don't 'baby' me."

"Sure. Let's start."

"Alright. Open up the textbook. We're starting from the basics. I've printed out some of the prerequisites for this topic, since what you did last time wasn't up to standard due to lack of practice of the basics. Now…"

Yves listens attentively. In fact, things go a bit too smoothly for the both of you. Yves doesn't make any cheeky quip, pull out any pet names, or flirt with anyone that passes by. The womanizing playgirl you knew disappears, and in its place is a focused, dedicated young woman. Sometimes, you even find yourself staring at her work on the problems in front of her. The change is… welcome, to say the least.

Your eyes roam Yves's styled hair, swiped back to expose her forehead, down to her beautiful large eyes, button nose, and full lips.

God, you're gay. Sure, you're literally admiring the beauty of the most insufferable bane of the universe, but you're just so fucking gay and hot people are hot, no matter how irritating they are, so...

When your eyes shift back up, you're met with Yves's smirk.

"See something you like, babe?"

Fuck.

"N-no."

"Liar."

"Fuck off." You rush to change the subject. "How're you doing?"

"I've been done for a while. You would know if you weren't spending the time looking at me."

You refuse to dignify her with a response, checking through the solved problems. With your coaching, Yves manages to get two more questions correct as compared to last time, but she still makes some simple mistakes.

"Okay, here's the issue. In question two…"

---------------

Yves continues to show up for every tutoring session. Somehow, a week passes by, and it is now Friday.

"Good afternoon, babygirl."

"Don't 'babygirl' me. How many times do I have to say it?"

"Mm, whatever. How're you doing?"

"Why do you care?"

Yves pulls out the chair next to you, leaning back on it, resting her legs on the table. She turns to you, grinning.

"Of course I'd care! You're my tutor, and if you don't feel good, you won't be able to teach me properly. If I don't get taught, I won't learn, then I'll fail, and I don't get to win. You know that I always win."

"I'm not sleeping with you."

"That's what you say, but not what you mean."

"Fuck you."

"That's what you'll be doing in five months' time."

"No I won't. Bring out the Calc textbook. We're going through Chapter 4 today."

"Alright, babygirl."

----------------

The change in Yves becomes apparent when she somehow is present earlier than you on Monday morning.

"Yves?"

"Oh, hey babe."

You sigh at the pet name, but having heard her call you that for quite some time now, it doesn't grind your gears as much anymore.

"Don't 'babe' me."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Yves returns her attention to the papers she is working on, and the familiar math problems catch your eye.

"Calc?"

"Yeah. I promised I'll be the best student. Here I am."

"We'll see about that."

"You're looking at it right now." Yves rises from her chair, and in a flash, she has her arm around your waist, her face inches from yours. "I'm going to win, babygirl."

"G-Get off me!" Your face reddens instantly at the close proximity of your lips to hers. Memories of the chaste kiss Yves planted take front and center stage, and you can't help but look away from Yves.

"You're so pretty."

Yves has her gaze locked on your lips, then to your eyes. She is so close, too close, even. Heat flashes all over your body—every touch Yves leaves on you seems to burn.

"I mean it. You're gorgeous."

"T-Thank you."

The smug smirk never leaves Yves's face. She releases you from her smoldering gaze and grip, but she leaves you with a rapidly beating heart and a large distraction for the day to come.

When class begins, Yves tries to take the time to listen to the professor. However, she is soon back to her old ways, flicking paper balls at classmates and being on her phone more than she listens.

"Yves."

"Yeah, baby?" She meets your gaze, her tongue darting out to moisten her dry lips. Her hands carry on working on moulding another tiny paper ball.

"You're not listening."

"I am!"

"What was the last thing the prof said?"

"Um…"

You roll your eyes.

"Best student, my ass."

"I made that promise to you, not to him."

"You won't learn if you don't listen to him either. How're you going to be the best if you can't even do that?"

"Oh, so that's how it is?"

"That's right." You think hard about the words you want to say next, but maybe… maybe it is worth the risk. After all, Yves is still the bane of your existence, but she could be less of that if she keeps up her effort in trying to learn.

"You don't get to fuck me if you're not the best."

You watch as Yves freezes. She stares at you, her jaw hanging, before she steels her gaze to your eyes, staring deep into your soul.

"So this is how you wanna play, babygirl?"

"Yeah." You can feel your bravado slowly disappearing.

"Fine. I'll listen. I'll play by your rules."

Yves leans to your ear, her breath sending shivers down your spine. Her deep whisper makes you shudder.

"You will be mine at the end of the year, baby. I promise you: I'll ace my exams, and you'll love me for it."

Perhaps provoking your seatmate wasn't the best idea. Now you have to deal with the deep flush on your face and neck, as well as the heat between your legs.

---------------

A month passes.

Every week, the same things go by—tutoring, classes, more tutoring, more classes. However, what changes is how close you and Yves get with each other. By no means were the both of you friends, but she isn't as much of a thorn in your side anymore.

[yves💘 sent a message:]

Baby

I need a bit more help with the math from the last chapter.

Can I see you this weekend?

Saturday, 10am, Seoul U entrance?

[You sent a message:]

Sure.

I'll see you.

[yves💘 sent a message:]

Good.

Dress nicely, baby. It's a date.

[You sent a message:]

Fuck off.

You groan when Yves manages to charm you through text. Outfit ideas are already flowing through your head, and you sink your face into the comfort of your palms. Why do you even care about looking pretty for Yves?⁶

Well… that genuine grin she flashed after a muffled gasp of surprise when you wore a dress once in the past month was gorgeous on her. That was why.

You remember Yves actually having the slightest hint of a blush when looking at you, and she seemed to be a little less flirty that day, opting to take short glances at you when she thought you weren't watching. This newfound attention was… welcome. You couldn't deny feeling shy having Yves check you out. After all, you were just the nerd girl in class, and having this attention from a hot girl you could consider a crush not as much of a pain in your ass felt so good.

-----

Saturday arrives, and here you are, waiting outside Seoul University.

You choose to keep things simple: just a simple button-down dress with daisies printed on the fabric. Your hair is tied up in a cute bun. The pink backpack you carry completes the look, with a nice pair of flats.

The sun isn't too bright, and a cool breeze keeps you comfortable while waiting. You can't help but get nervous, though you know it is irrational to feel so. After all, this is just another study session. However, Yves's text to you earlier in the week keeps flashing across your eyes.

'Dress nicely, baby. It's a date.'

You know this is just a study session. However, a part of you dimly wishes that it isn't, before you hurriedly bash those thoughts with a hammer and then set them on fire.

The revving of a motorbike catches your attention before it zooms down the road. You can see the bike move across the lanes, then slowing to a stop in front of you. The rider, clad in all black leather, complete with jacket and boots, seems to freeze in front of you, before slowly drawing the helmet off their head.

"Hey, babygirl."

Yves grins at you, her eyes sweeping over your body. Her gaze lands on your legs, moving up to your torso, your chest, and then to your eyes and hair.

The next words she mutters are meant to be kept to herself, but you hear her anyway.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous."

Your heart takes off, pounding against your chest. You try to hide the flush on your face by staring at the ground, but you field a gaze to Yves, who looks a bit like a deer caught in headlights. She looks so handsome, so cool, and downright fucking hot at the same time.

Hmm… What would it feel like being pinned under her again?

The intrusive thought you have gets stamped out instantly, but the effect lingers—you can't help but check Yves out, feeling a rush of heat deep within your loins.

Her agreement with you was starting to look more and more appealing. Maybe you do have to teach her well.

"Get on."

"What?"

"Let's go. I gotta park the bike, and the cafe isn't close by. Get on."

Yves hands you a spare black helmet, and you hesitantly take it.

"Don't kill me."

"I won't." She grins. "I like you too much to think about doing that."

Your breath catches in your throat. It's not uncharacteristic of her to say things like that so easily, but maybe… just maybe… you want her to mean it.

You get onto the bike as Yves holds it steady. You don't know where to put your hands, but Yves grabs your arms, pulling them to wrap around her waist.

"Hold on tight, babygirl."

"Okay." You can't believe what's happening right now.

"I'm gonna go."

The engine revs.

-----

Yves trails behind you as both of you make your way to the cafe. Yves is quiet along the way, unlike her usual flirting if she caught you staring at her. When you glance back to her, you see her eyes dart away from you, staring at the floor as she swipes her hair back.

Weird.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Never been better, baby." Her reply is unconvincing, especially with a forced grin, but you don't want to really push her for a reply.

"Er… Okay. Sure."

Both of you make your way into the cafe, stopping by the counter to grab the menu. When you sit down at a table, Yves sits across you, her eyes locked onto you as you peruse your options.

"You're staring a lot today, Yves."

"Oh, um, er…" She looks away, her voice soft. This is very unlike her.

"Are you really okay?"

"Yeah, baby. I'm feelin' great, ready to learn, and get good." She leans back, resting her hands on the armrests of her chair.

Oh.

She has a crop top on.

Oh my fucking God, she has abs.

You short circuit.

Two columns of defined muscle greet your eyes, as if to mock you. It wasn't like she was someone you didn't find hot. Now, you have to find out that she also has abs?!

Your mouth dries instantly, and you grab your bottle, taking a swig. The cool liquid quenches your physical thirst, but your mental thirst…

"Don't look too much, babygirl. You might get hypnotized."

Yves tilts your chin up with a finger, moving to lean close to your face.

"My eyes are up here."

Holy fucking shit, she's so fucking hot.

You wonder how you didn't notice them when she had that fishnet and crop top combo. Maybe her pants covered them, maybe you were blinded in your dislike for her. Whatever, you've seen them now. No reason to stop… respectfully staring, especially when you can.

"Look at me."

You meet Yves's smoldering gaze.

"Keep your eyes up here, babygirl." Her warm breath against your lips makes you yearn to lean in and close the gap. "I don't want them anywhere else when they're so beautiful."

You whimper involuntarily, and Yves chuckles.

"You're so fucking pretty, you know that?"

The shame that burns when you squeak and break your gaze to hide in the pretense of reading the menu is something you don't want to admit that you feel coursing through your veins, but it's there. When you lower the menu, Yves has her chin in her palm, her head tilted to the left, a satisfied grin on her features.

"I mean it, baby. You look really pretty today."

"T-Thank you."

"You're welcome. Let's order, I'm starving."

"Okay."

"Oh." Yves leans towards you, lowering the menu to stare into your eyes once more. "You'll get to see what you want to see when I ace the exams. Be patient, babe."

You groan.

-----

That night, you toss and turn on the bed incessantly. Every time you close your eyes, you can feel hot breath across your lips, smell the scent emanating off Yves, and sense her burning gaze on you. Yves's handsome features are burnt deep into your head, and just the thought of her sends your heart pounding and temperature rising.

You think of her abs under her clothes, the defined muscle jumping out to your eyes. She already looks so good, so delicious, and yet, things only go up from here.

The rush of heat between your legs doesn't help things.

You turn again, ignoring your basest desires. Bedtime it is.

[streetlight11]

Deep Scar

Summary: He used to be the popular kid in high school where everyone has a crush on him. He always gets Valentine's Day gifts be it presents, chocolates, homemade brownies, etc. He somehow brought his name to college where there were people who still finds him attractive. What happens when he bumps into a girl who treated him a lot different compared to others? Will he find out the truth behind her behaviour?

Theme: college au, childhood schoolmates but with a bad past

Genre: a little angsty, fluff ending though

Warnings: mild swearing (literally just one word), slight mention of harassment but nothing too crazy

WC: 4.6k

Pairing: Han Jisung x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hey hey :) I've had this in my google drive for quite sometime so my writing might not be so good here but bear with me. P.S the words in italics are his flashback, and hannie might sound like a jerk at one point but this doesn't portray him in real life because irl he's an absolute sweetheart :') Anyways, enjoy reading!

Coming to campus every morning only to find gifts and plenty of love letters in his locker has been becoming a daily routine for Jisung. Although he has never actually reciprocated any of them, he must admit that he did love the amount of attention that’s been drawn to him since back in high school.

He was the popular kid in school where he was known for his intelligence, charming personality and of course, his good looks.

Back in high school, girls would often slot in their confession letters in his locker almost everyday. Every Valentine’s Day, his table would be filled with chocolates and homemade brownies specially for him.

But all of those gifts would eventually be passed to his close friends for them to finish it for him.

Even now when he’s already in college, words spread around the campus of his status back in Saebom High, making everyone in Hankuk College know about him. Despite this new set of attention that was being directed towards him, he managed to make friends with a few people that he trusts.

Some of them were his classmates in college, some were his friends from music class, and some were his good friends back in high school. 

That day was no different as he walked down the hall to go to his designated locker, only to find a pink paper that had been folded into a cute little heart.

“Another love letter? Dude, at this point you should really date one of them so that this whole shenanigan would stop.” Chan said with a soft chuckled as Minho and Jeongin nodded in agreement with the elder boy. Jisung rolled his eyes as he unfolded the paper and read the confession, that was pretty much the same as the other notes he received.

All of which, never got reciprocated simply because Jisung believes he hasn’t found anyone that peaked his interest yet.

After about 5 minutes, he slammed his locker shut as the four boys began to walk down the hall, not missing the constant shy giggles and whispers from every direction. Jisung simply walked with his charming smile plastered on his face, making some girls feel their heart flutter in their chest.

Just when they had made a left turn, a figure smaller than them came crashing straight into Jisung’s shoulder, causing both individuals to stumble back a step from the impact.

“Watch where you’re going, dumbass.” The girl who was rubbing her shoulder said as she locked eyes with him firmly. Jisung was slightly baffled as no other girl would even dare to look at him straight in the eye.

“Excuse me?” He said, his voice clearly confused but the girl simply rolled her eyes at him, slightly annoyed.

“You heard me. I don’t have to say it twice.” 

“Do you even know who I am?” He asked, slowly starting to feel anger boiling through his veins.

“Do you think I care?” She taunts.

“Other girls would be scrambling away by now.”

“Oh, how exciting. Next time, wear side goggles so you can watch where you’re going.” Was all she said before she shoves past him to continue her journey down the hall to go to her class.

Everyone in that hallway was surprised with their little interaction. Some of them even snickered at her for behaving that way in front of him. As far as he knows, all the girls in school never dared to speak to him in person, nor would they even look at him straight in the eyes for they would either run away in embarrassment, or their face would turn flushed red.

Jisung tried not to think much of it as he continued his walk to his class.

During lunch, the boys had gathered at their usual table. However, Hyunjin and Seungmin were running slightly late this time. They were just a few bites into their meal when Hyunjin’s voice caught everyone at their table’s attention.

“Hey guys! Is it okay if our new friend joins us? She just transferred here so me and Seungmin offered her to have lunch with us.”

At the mention of a female, Jisung whips his head around, only to lock eyes with the same girl he bumped into just a few hours prior.

“You again? Try not to miss your mouth this time when you eat.” She said as her gaze locked on Jisung, leaving him speechless.

Hyunjin and Seungmin exchanged glances at each other in confusion but decided to just carry on with lunch as they ended up sitting with her. If she weren’t too direct, Jisung could almost agree that she was acting quite the opposite towards Hyunjin and Seungmin. Maybe with the others as well. She seemed genuinely friendly and almost effortlessly bright with them. 

If he was being honest, it almost upsets him that she treated him like an outcast as compared to the rest of his close friends. Days slowly but surely became weeks as she started to grow visibly close to Hyunjin and Seungmin probably because they were her classmates.

It was a Friday evening and they all decided to go to a pool bar where they had pool tables for people to play and also have light drinks if they wanted to.

They rented out two tables for themselves as they divided into two teams.

“Y/N! Join our team!” Hyunjin called as Y/N giggled, only for her to catch Jisung staring at her from one of the high stools beside the bar.

“I’ll join if he does.” 

She said as she nodded her head towards Jisung, only for the others to immediately drag him to Hyunjin’s pool table. The game soon started as Hyunjin served first. She seems to surprise them everytime she serves because all her shots were smooth and almost effortless. It was as if she’s done this multiple times.

“Wow, how are you so good at this?” Seungmin asked as she smiled at him, only to answer his question.

“I guess I’m pretty good at aiming.”

The boy giggled as they watched Hyunjin score a ball. All the while, Jisung was silently watching her by the side. 

Not in a creepy way but more like in a confused way. After they finished their one hour at the pool bar, they left to get dinner but she decided to call it a day for her and that she needed to go home to feed her starving kitty.

The boys bid her goodbye as she left, only for Changbin to question his friend.

“Jisung ah, you cannot tell me you’re not the slightest bit intrigued by her…”

With that, Jisung frowned as his mind came swirling back to all the times they’ve hung out with her and gotten to know her better. From all the mean comments tossed at each other like they were flat bread, to the time where she seemed genuinely concerned when Jisung nearly got run over by a speeding truck.

“No… No I’m not.”

Only he knows that it was a total lie but he wasn’t going to admit it to his friends. 

His ego was too high for him to easily admit that after all these years of girls trying so hard to win his attention, all he needed was Y/N to come into the picture and that was all it took for him to finally fall for someone.

Nobody needed to know his true feelings for her. He didn’t think it would be much of a big deal so he opted to keep his feelings to himself. It was another week into April, when Chan decided to invite them over to his apartment to hang out and chill on a chilly Saturday. Chan of course included Y/N in the list, hence the reason why she was currently standing outside his apartment door.

She was wearing a brown fitted crop top, her favourite denim ripped skinny jeans, a bomber jacket and her white converse.

She was greeted by Chan as he opened the door wider for her to enter.

She made it inside only to find Felix and Minho challenging each other in a game of Mario Kart Race. Hyunjin, Seungmin and Changbin were busy playing Call Of Duty on their phones. Jisung, Jeongin and Chan were in the kitchen, cooking up some hot kimchi stew.

Y/N took off her jacket as she went to snuggle in between Changbin and Hyunjin, watching them play an intense game of COD.

She was just laying her head on Changbin’s shoulder when he jerked forward, making her body shake as he turned to Hyunjin and high fived him after winning first place. Just then, he noticed the sad pout on her face at the loss of warmth, making him giggle as he sat back down to let her rest her head on his shoulder again before he whispered.

“Sorry baby.” She giggled as she pinched his abs, making him squeak. He laughed as he corrected himself.

“I’m just kidding.”

She smiled as she nuzzled into his shoulder while they were all occupied with doing their own things. A few minutes later, the 3 boys from the kitchen came back to the living room with the pot of kimchi stew and a rice bowl. 

However, Y/N didn’t miss the subtle frown on Jisung’s face when he saw her leaning her head against Changbin’s shoulder.

The 9 of them began eating diligently as they fit in almost any possible topic they could think off. After they finished their meal, she offered to wash the dishes since they were all busy. Chan told her not to trouble herself but she insisted on helping him.

She was scrubbing the second last bowl when she heard Jeongin’s voice calling from the living room.

“Noona! Come join us after you’re done washing the dishes okay? We’re gonna play truth or drink!”

“Okay Jeonginie.” She sang in a sing-song tune as she could hear some of them chuckle in the back.

As promised, she joined them after she was done with the last bowl, only to sit in between Minho and Seungmin. They went in a circle starting from Chan. It was in a circle until it reached her, only for Changbin to eagerly raise his hand.

“Oh! Oh! I have a good one!” Changbin said as his inner corner of the lips curved up into a cute smile, making her giggle.

“If you could go back to your past, what is the one thing that you would choose not to do?” His question was good. It was theoretical but good.

Suddenly, her eyes just instantly found Jisung’s soft brown ones as she told them her answer.

“The one thing I would choose not to do? Probably allowing myself to think that whatever people said to me was true.”

The guys started to frown as they asked if something bad happened to her back then but she simply shrugged them off and told them to continue the game. It went on until it was Jisung’s turn, only for Y/N to speak up.

“I have something I wanna ask him.”

This came as a surprise for the others but they let her do the honours anyway.

“Do you remember the girl who confessed to you back in high school?” She said. His eyebrows began to link together as he frowned at her sudden question.

“Huh?”

“The one where you rejected her confession by humiliating her in front of the whole school?”

“What are you talking about?” 

“Think harder.” She said.

Suddenly, memories start to flood in his mind like a flash flood.

“H-Hi. I made these for you. I hope you like cupcakes. I k-know a lot of other girls do this for you too, b-but… I-I just thought maybe I should give you something too. I- umm, I like y-you Han Jisung.” The girl confessed as she held out the box filled with her homemade cupcakes that she took time to bake for him the night before.

She bit the inside of her cheeks nervously as she diligently avoided his gaze. Just when she saw his arms reaching out to her thinking he was going to take the box from her, he forcefully smashed the box down making it slip out of her hands.

The students around them began to laugh as Jisung lifted a brow at her.

“Did you really think I’d accept your confession? Look at you. Who would date a girl who ties their hair in pigtails, have her tummy sticking out of her uniform shirt and constantly push the bridge of your spectacles up every 5 minutes? Have you seen yourself in a mirror? Nobody will ever fall for you.”

With that being said, he kicked the metal box away to reveal the fallen cupcakes as he went ahead and stepped on them like it was an insect.

The whole school laughed at her as she ran to the girls bathroom and locked herself in there as she cried her heart out. She was only 13 so it was slightly depressing for her to go through this terrible rejection.

Not only did he reject her in cold blood, he also humiliated her in front of everybody in the process. However, what made her even more upset is the fact that he didn’t seem to feel the slightest bit of remorse for saying those things to her.

That memory was as clear as day as he winced at the thought of how immature he was back then. Nevertheless, he didn’t forget the question he got from Y/N as he went ahead to answer her.

“Yeah… Yeah I remember…”

“Do you remember what you said to her?” Her voice softened as she kept her eyes on him while the rest of them had their eyes trained back and forth between Jisung and her.

“I said… I said she should look at herself in the mirror and that no one will ever fall for her.” 

The boys were shocked by how harsh he was to that said girl. Y/N could only smile sadly to him as she slowly continued. 

“Do you feel bad saying those things to her now?” 

Without much thought, he replied something that broke her heart.

“Why should I?” With that, she tried to hold back her tears as she looked at him dead in the eye before saying these next few words.

“Looks like you’re still that same cocky bastard huh?”

She soon got up from her seat on the floor, only to grab her things to leave when Jisung stood up to grab her wrist, stopping her from taking any more steps further.

“What are you talking about?” He asked, now genuinely confused as to what was going on.

“You’re really dense for someone as arrogant as you.” A scoff left her lips as her eyes bore into his, hoping he understood what she meant. After what felt like forever, Jisung finally realized as it was as though his life just flashed before his eyes.

“Wait… that was you?!” His voice was loud as it was laced with confusion and slight disappointment.

“And what happens if I say yes? Are you gonna ask me if I’ve looked into the mirror and realize that no one will ever fall for me?”

Her words stinged like venoms as he winced yet again but this time, at how hurt she seemed. She didn’t realise this but her tears were no longer held back as a few droplets rolled down her cheeks.

“Your words hurted me back then. So I tried to ignore it and move on. But when you said your answer just now, I realized that maybe you really are just an arrogant jerk.”

She finally pulled her arm out of his grasp as she left without sparing a glance to the others. Jisung has never felt so utterly remorseful, today was the first time. He mentally scolded himself for saying those words back when he was young and immature.

He has never felt so fucked up before, this was definitely the first.

A few days went by, Y/N hasn’t talked to either of the boys, not even Hyunjin and Seungmin. Every time Jisung tried to reach out to her, she would always successfully avoid him. It has been almost 2 weeks since they last talked to her as the boys agreed to go release their stress by going to the downtown club.

They had booked a booth for all 8 of them as they sat in there with some girls coming back and forth to try and get laid with either one of them.

Just then, Jisung’s eyes seemed to scan the room only to see a familiar figure dancing freely on the dance floor. He frowned as he rubbed his eyes to make sure they weren’t playing tricks on him.

He double confirmed that it was in fact Y/N, as he got up and left the booth ignoring the boy’s calls.

Right when he was about to reach the dance floor, he saw her deliberately get dragged through the sweaty, intoxicated humans and towards the back door. He followed them close behind as he saw her struggling to free herself from the man’s hold.

The minute she was out the back, the man pushed her against the brick wall as he attacked her neck forcefully.

“Stop!” She begged.

The man ignored as he started to caress her waist and moved up.

“Stop it!” She tried again as tears started to roll down her cheeks desperately.

The minute she managed to put a distance between herself and the man, the metal back door swung open harshly only for her to lock eyes with Jisung as he rushed down the steps, only to land a solid punch to the man’s jaw.

The man fell to the ground drunkenly as he struggled to stand back up.

“What the fuck man? Get your own girl!” The man said as he grabbed Y/N’s wrist and was about to pull her when Jisung roughly shoved him off again.

The man threw a few drunk punches to Jisung and soon they were both in a fist fight. The two males were starting to have blood clots and bruises all over their bodies and faces when Hyunjin and Changbin came to stop the fight.

“Jisung! Jisung! That’s enough!” Hyunjin yelled as they both grabbed Jisung by his arms and pulled him back.

“Don’t ever touch her again.” Jisung growled as the man stumbled back into the club.

Y/N frowned as she visibly hugged herself, only to see Hyunjin and Changbin give Jisung a subtle nod before they both went back inside, giving privacy to Jisung and Y/N. Once they were alone in the dark alley, that’s when she spoke up.

“Why did you come? Afraid someone might fall for me?”

“You clearly weren't comfortable with him.”

“So what? Why do you care? It’s not like he would fall in love with me. Who am I for someone to even like me? Right?”

Jisung frowned as he called out her name softly but she was quick to intercept.

“I didn’t go to Hankuk to get back at you for what you did to me. Never in a million years did I think I’d even see you again. But now that you’re standing here in front of me, that very day comes back to haunt me again. Because of your words, I have been so afraid of falling for someone, even just a tiny crush. That’s what you did to me Han Jisung and I don’t think I can ever forgive you for that.”

With that being said, she turned in her heels and left. Jisung stood there like an idiot as he cursed himself for letting her walk away yet again. 

If this happened back in high school, he would probably laugh at her. But now that he was actually starting to like her, he has never felt so upset and disappointed. This was probably even worse than a break up.

She refused to speak to him for days after as she avoided everyone in the friend group.

It was a gloomy Friday night as she was laying on her couch sideways, watching a sappy romantic movie to drown her sadness. She was wearing a loose sweater that made it look like a dress on her. Her calf high socks and a pair of shorts she always wore to sleep.

She had just thought about what she could get for supper when there was a knock on her door.

“Who the hell comes at a time like this?” She thought to herself as she went over to her door and opened it without checking the peephole first. She almost stumbled as she locked eyes with the same pair of brown orbs that she’s been trying so hard to avoid for the past few weeks.

“Jisung? What are you doing here?” She asked, genuinely shocked at how he knew her address.

“Y/N, can we talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Please just hear me out. I don’t need you to say anything, I just need you to listen.”

She fell silent for a moment before she opened the door wider for him to enter. Once inside, he followed her to her living room, only for them to sit 3 feet apart. She urged him with a slight nod as he took a deep breath and soon began.

“Look. I know whatever I did to you back then was horrible. It was my ego talking. I didn’t know any better. We were so young… How could I possibly feel bad at the time when all I thought was to reject you?”

Just then, she cut him in by saying something that made him rethink his choices.

“You’re telling me that everything you said to me meant nothing to you just because it wasn’t you who received it?”

“I… I wasn’t thinking. I was young-”

“Bullshit. Even a 5 year old kid knows what’s nice and what’s hurtful to say to others. Don’t pull the young card on me.”

“Y/N please-”

“Get out. If you’re still gonna be the same arrogant, highly egoistic jerk then get out. You’ve said things that left a deep scar in my life and here you are saying it doesn’t mean anything? Get out.”

“Y/N-”

“I said get out!” She finally screamed as her chest was heaving, her tears streaming down her face in anger but she didn’t care. She got up as she dragged him to the door, while he tried to fight back. The minute he was out, she slammed the door behind her only to lock it as she found herself sliding down the door, only to sit on the wooden floor.

Her cries were soft, but they were filled with so much pain. On the other side of the door, Jisung could hear her cries as he too kneeled on the ground with his hands against the door.

He could hear her loud and clear as he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. He couldn’t bear to say a word to her as he remained quiet.

The next morning, Y/N woke up suddenly wanting to get herself breakfast to clear her memory from last night. She got out of bed, took a warm shower, got changed into her sweatpants, a big hoodie and a cap. She unlocked her door and had just taken a step outside when she jumped at the slight of Jisung seated on the ground beside her apartment door.

Since he was a light sleeper, the sound of her door opening, woke him up as he quickly got on both feet.

Before she could re-enter her apartment, he pressed his palms against the door to prevent her from closing it as he spoke up softly.

“Y/N, please, please let me explain.” He begged as she wasn’t sure why but she decided to let him in. Once he was inside, they didn’t even bother to go anywhere further into her apartment as he stood by the door and began to explain himself.

“Y/N, please listen to me. I know what I did was bad. At the time, I didn’t realise how humiliating it was for you. But now that I’m an adult, I realized that my actions were extremely horrible and I would never, ever do that to anyone now.” He paused before he continued on.

“I know that whatever I said and did back then, I can’t take any of it back. And I don’t blame you for not forgetting or forgiving me for it. I admit that I deserve this from you. All I ask is for you to give me another chance to start over. But I understand if you want nothing to do with me.” He said with a tiny hope laced in his voice although he wasn’t so confident that she would forgive him this time.

She knew he felt guilty for whatever he did back then so it wasn’t wrong for her to give him a second chance right?

“How would I know you’re not just acting this way to set me up for humiliation again?” She asked.

“Would I say all those things and bring my ego down just to prove that I felt like utter shit after everything you told me, only to humiliate you even further?”

“Nobody knows what your ego is capable of.”

“If my words won’t convince you, would my actions do?”

“What if you do it, only to leave and tell on me to everyone else?”

“I can’t seem to get your trust now, can I?”

“Try being in my shoe and you’ll know.”

“Y/N please… I know I left a deep scar on you emotionally and mentally back then, but please… I beg you, please just… let me start over. I need you to trust me just this once.”

“Fine. But if you abuse my trust, I’m never speaking to you again.” 

“Believe me, you have no idea how fucked up I felt that night at Chan’s.”

Right after he finished his sentence, he didn’t waste anymore time as he reached up to cup her face in both hands and soon kissed her. She instantly melted against his body as he pulled her closer by the waist. His kisses were so gentle, as if he was afraid he would break her again.

His touch was soft as he slid his hands under her shirt only to draw random patterns onto her waist.

Just then, he pulled away from her lips but it was so addicting he couldn’t help but peck her lips one last time before he spoke up.

“I’m really, really sorry Y/N for everything back then. I couldn’t help but feel like complete shit after that night when I found out that was you. You don’t have to forgive me, I totally understand.”

Y/N just smiled as she gently tangled her fingers in his hair at the nape of his neck before she spoke up.

“Would I have let you kiss me if I was still mad?”

He remained quiet as she then continued.

“Besides, I’m giving you a chance to redeem yourself so please, don’t take advantage of this.” She warned gently.

Jisung kissed her for slightly longer before he pulled away and whispered against her lips.

“I promise.”

With that, she smiled as she wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest while he snaked his arms around her smaller figure. 

Ever since then, Jisung did everything he could to redeem himself for what he did to her back in high school. She slowly began to fall for him as she gave him a solid second chance and she could see how genuine he was now whenever he did something nice for her. Even if he didn’t say it out loud, she knew that he really tried his best to win her heart. And it worked.

~~~

[qyllenhaal]

God’s Face in the Fire || Part 2

Dark!Lee Bodecker x Dark!Reader

Summary: A wife who would do anything to give her husband the world, even if it means getting herself involved with his trouble.

Word Count: 10.3k

Chapter warnings: dark themes!!! contains mentions of murder, non-graphic death scenes, smut (loss of virginity in a flashback scene), manipulation, brief mention of sexual assaults, misogyny, uncomfortable situations. Please heed the warnings!!! 18+ only

A/N: It's been forever since I posted. The last two weeks have left me discombobulated that it was hard to find time to sit down to write and edit this, but I'm glad I got to it! The next part is going to be the last part but I have plans to do one-shots for this universe. I'm going to be posting a Senator!Chris fic tomorrow so stay tuned for that.

Enjoy!

"You remember when I took you out for milkshakes and you spilled yours all over me? You were wearing that exact same color," Lee said pointing at the dress she was pressing.

"All those years ago, and you still remember that?" Y/n wanted to drown in this tender moment she's having with her husband. Hearing him laugh, his stomach shifting, and his eyes wrinkling.

"How could I? Watching you get all flustered and cute really got me goin’. It's when I knew I was gonna marry ya."

The days have been incredibly warm and beautiful since Y/n had done what she did. It was cruel irony that she was enjoying another day while someone’s body was rotting. The softer moments of life were few and far between these days, but right now she’s offered her a wonderful distraction.

She had taken on more tasks than usual to distract herself from the intrusive thoughts she had. She even accepted a last minute invite to help put on an event at the local rental hall with some of the other mothers in town. It gave her an excuse to look nice and show herself off to anyone who had some doubts about Lee. Things were looking good for him, but there was always something to do to further rehabilitate his image. She always looked her best as the sheriff's wife. Keeping up the appearances exhausted her since they have become more frequent for her. However if she wanted the people to fawn over her lovely family, she had to show up. An arts and crafts event for the kids is also a good chance to get their daughter out of the house.

Teenage Y/n did not see herself becoming a housewife so young. It was unsavory to think about being a homemaker for one of the boys’ at school. She surmised that she would’ve stuck by her original plan if she had not been so lonely. All of Y/n's friends left within a year of graduating high school. She didn't have that many friends to begin with, but she thought that at least one would always be there for her. Rose went to college, and Barbara found a man to marry and moved to upstate New York. Only one stayed for some time, Judith, but she eventually left after having a shotgun wedding. It was selfish of her to think that someone would stay just because she got rejected from the only college she had applied to. Other people had lives and Y/n was just not at the center of them.

The absence of her friends made her pregnancy more lonely. Her baby shower consisted of her family, Lee’s sister, and his co-workers and their wives. None of the women seemed to be fond of Y/n. It always plagued her mind to know if they thought she was too young and stupid or if it was just something else

She found solace in some of the other mother's in town. When she began showing up around to volunteer at bake sales and food drives she expected them to look at her face and then down at her belly and reject her. She is younger than them and feared they'd find her naïve. She had kept to herself for so long that she thought they'd write her off as the sheriff's meek wife.

Y/n didn't get a chance to mingle with anyone prior to her marriage and Lee made it harder by insisting in little ways that she stay in the house. No one was at fault that Lee wanted to keep her to himself. It was possible he did it out of insecurity, but Y/n now speculates that it was because he didn’t want to hear or even see what he may have been doing.

One of the ladies who Y/n only knew by her dark hair and distinct, pointy nose joked that Lee had, "finally let Rapunzel out of the castle." When the other mothers joined into laughter, she felt small. It was only a harmless joke that was steeped in the truth. It took her persistence to no longer wanting to feel alone while being pregnant to get the women to warm up to her, and the did.

"I remember spilling the milkshake, but I was too embarrassed to remember anything else about that night," she admitted.

Lee remembers that night very well. He wishes that she didn't end the night so quickly because she ruined a pair of trousers that could easily be replaced. He had only bought them to impress her, but it didn't take much to get her to swoon over him. No other man was giving her the time of day.

"We should go out to that diner Friday night. Now that we have someone to watch the little one, we don't have to stop by your parents to drop her off anymore. I can just scoop you up and we can have a night together," Lee pressed himself into Y/n's backside. She giggled when his hands lightly danced against her ticklish sides.

Lee had also been aware of the slim moments of intimacy with his wife. He was serious about this race but he truly underestimated how much time and effort he'd have to put into this. But people really did love the old mayor. The only slight Lee had against him was his old age and how some believed that if he kept going then he might run into some health problems. The rumors about him becoming more and more forgetful were minute compared to the dark gossip swirling about Lee though. Some of the people in town would probably vote for a paper bag before Lee.

His biggest fear is that he loses the election and drives his wife away. He could lose the race, but if his wife somehow slipped away, taking their baby with her, he’d drink himself into a stupor. Lee tried his very best to hide his insecurities from her. When he worried, she worried too and it made it much harder for him to plan his way out of whatever hole he is in when he has a hysterical wife to deal with. That's why he'd rather not tell her anything.

Lee also wasn't the young man in his prime anymore, he believed that his good looks were fading, and he has gained a considerable amount of weight. The fear of Y/n just up and leaving him for someone younger than him and riding off to the city always plagued him. The birth of their daughter should've assuaged him, but his self-doubt always lingered like a cloud that made him stick to his vices.

"I've really missed ya honey...missed this body of yours."

Y/n flinched when his hands ran down the front of her body, over her stomach and then circling up back to her breast. Her body has changed considerably since giving birth and the hormonal imbalance left her feeling tired, sad, and alone. Her mother told her that all she had to do was look at her child and she'd feel better, but every time she looked at her little girl all she did was worry. Was she a good mom? Why was her daughter crying so much without much working? Was Lee staying at work for long hours to avoid the crying and her? Did he still find her attractive?

They’re both too busy thinking Lee's mayoral bid to realize they felt the exact same way as each other. If there was any other time that proved they were an extension of each other, it was now, but they were too blind to see it.

"Lee y-you're going to be late for work," her voice was weakened by his lips now nipping at her neck.

"Don't give a damn," he whispered against her skin, inhaling her familiar scent, "just wanna feel my wife."

Today, Y/n felt herself slipping back into her normal self and normal life. She melted into Lee, hoping that maybe they could have a moment to themselves, but they were interrupted by the phone ringing downstairs. Every early morning and late night phone call had her on edge. They never seemed to be about anything important but it hasn't failed yet to make her stomach churn.

Lee groaned and pulled away from her. She watched him disappear to go answer the phone.

It has been nearly two days and the only thing on her mind is what happened after she left that brothel. The anxiety made her feel sick. Hours later after it happened, around 2 a.m., she woke up and darted to the toilet. Lee kept asking her if she was pregnant as he held her hair back while her face was in the toilet. She dismissed his claims, knowing full and well that she was just sickened by her actions.

Lee had not mentioned a death or anything related to that brothel, so had he even been found? Was his death even reported? The girls who worked for him were probably too worried about their own arrest than the death of their abusive boss.

She wiped the look of worry off of her face when she heard his heavy footsteps coming back up the stairs.

"Who was it?"

"Your brother," his tone held disgust, "invited us to dinner on Sunday. He asked to speak to you but I told him you were still sleep."

"Lee!"

"I don't want to hear it," his voice boomed, much more dominant and rough than hers, "I ain't having dinner with him and I don't want to hear your mouth about it."

Y/n stayed silent and watched him grab the police hat resting on the dresser. She hated for him to leave on such a sour note, but she wouldn't dare say anything in fear she might make things worse.

He started towards the door of their bedroom before turning back to his wife, "Sandy supposed to stop by Saturday. I don't know why, so don't ask, but she claims she's comin'. Who knows if she'll stick to her word."

It’s like Lee did that on purpose, as some sort of sick payback for her brother calling. Y/n was not fond of Sandy and did not like to be around her for more than ten minutes. Sandy was a nice girl, a bit unsavory at times, but her husband Carl was a stain on her life. There was something about him that reminded her of the men her mother had warned her about when she was a young teenager; a man with a slick tongue and a creepy air around him. However, she found Carl much more sinister than that. The look in Carl's eyes when he looked at her and flashed her that unsettling smile was imprinted into her brain. They did not come around much, but when they did it was always a traumatic experience for Y/n.

Lee left the room before Y/n could respond. He knows how Y/n feels, but he can’t bring himself to care right now. She’s not going to protest against it because she knows better than that. He focused on the sound of soft babbling from his daughter as he walked into her room.

"Hey you," she looked up at him with her big eyes and her widening smile that made his heart swell, "you gonna be good for your mama? You've been on a mean streak lately and I'd hate to make good on my threat and put you in baby jail."

His daughter reached up and tried to grab at his face. Lee was clean-shaven now, but for the first few months of his daughter's life he had enough hair on his face for her to grab a hold of. It was funny to see how she still tried to grab at his non-existent hair, pinching his skin in the process.

"Miss the beard little lady? You're just like your mama," he kissed her forehead and felt a deep sense of guilt that he had to leave her to go to work. But everything he did was for her and if he believes that the long hours are going to pay off. All of his work is going to pay off when he wins that race.

-

The dress her daughter wore was blush to complement her mother's golden one. She looked around at every single building and person they passed as if it was her first time seeing it again. Her sense of wonder always made Y/n adore her even more. Y/n wondered what was going on in the little mind of her and what sense she made of the world.

She was never fussy when they were out, which was good for Y/n, but also good for the rehabilitation of Lee's image. He has such a good daughter and pretty wife, he must be doing something right. Every single person who stopped to say hi or coo at how cute her baby was, Y/n wondered if they have ever said something negative about Lee. Y/n never received weird stares or grimaces that would make her paranoid, but she still felt on edge. She always wanted to be on her best behavior, especially when Lee was not with her.

Y/n was forced to be her normal self; cheerful even though her mind was reeling over two nights ago, her sister-in-law, and what the conversation between Lee and her brother this morning may have sounded like. When one of the toddlers thrusted their drawing her face she feigned an excited smile. She hoped the mother's didn't notice her lackluster attitude.

"Y/n , can I speak with you?"

It was Sally's voice that called to her. She looked at the blonde woman with a bit of panic on her face. She thought that she was going to get chewed out by her, especially since she pulled her far away from the other children, and her daughter who was being held by one of the recently graduated girls.

"Is everything alright Sally?"

"I should be asking you that. Why am I hear things about Mrs. Blackwater sayin' she seen your Lee dumpin' bodies in the river behind her house?" At that moment Y/n could not hear her despite her lips still moving. Her blood ran cold at that last name being mentioned. It's been years, close to a decade, since she thought about that old woman, but the mere mention of her name brought Y/n back to a place she didn't want to be.

"I-I...I don't know what she's talking about-"

"My husband and I made a sizable donation to your husband's campaign, and it would be a shame to see him lose," the sugary voice and fake smile on Sally's face made Y/n's stomach ache. She didn't like how some of these women could be so fake because it always made her question if they really liked her or not. But Sally didn't care what Y/n would respond with, all she cared about was her and her husband's reputation, "you're not that much younger than me so you remember them days when that old bitch would be on her porch spewin’ whatever nonsense she could think if at any girl who walked on her sidewalk. No one likes Mrs. Blackwater, but don't think for a second they won't consider what she has to say about that husband of yours. I've heard too many whispers about him and I don't like it. I'll pull my endorsements if you don't fix this shit."

Was murdering one person not enough to save her husband from losing this race? The brothel owner was one person, someone who would not be missed by many people, but could she do something about Mrs. Blackwater?

'That's not right, that's not right.'

No matter how much she tried to shake that evil idea off, it kept creeping into her mind. Murder was the unlikely tool she had in her arsenal all along. It was morally wrong to kill someone, but her victim and the potential one had not been nice people. Mrs. Blackwater's stain on this Earth paled in comparison to Reed's, but that woman made her blood run much colder than the brothel owner.

It was so ironic that Mr. Blackwater was a beloved man in town because no one could stand his wife. They knew not to cross her path and that pies and home cooked meals would not abate her disdain for people. A man who was so kind and friendly was married to the most antisocial person Y/n has ever come across. But he never wasted a moment to sing her her praises. Y/n remembers one of her sons and he was mean just like his mother; a school yard bully that would beat up on anyone he saw as weak and alone. Y/n was lucky that he knew she had an older brother to protect because the Blackwater’s youngest boy never tried anything with her. However, she was not lucky enough to escape the wrath of Mrs. Blackwater. The irony was that she probably would've been better off being a victim of her son. That woman was nasty and wasn't afraid to show it.

"Don't you two get tired of dressing like whores?"

They had to pass the Blackwater house to get to Rose's house. Her house used to be at the end of the street before it got burned down, leaving the Blackwater house the last one on the street. It was nice, and had a big, big porch that Mrs. Blackwater always sat on for most of the day. She didn't stop at calling them just "whores'' and "wenches" either. Y/n never could understand why they always took the brunt of that woman's anger. Rose went home in tears every time she walked by that house. Maybe Y/n's anger is displaced, but she blames Mrs. Blackwater for why Rose was so eager to leave. There wasn't much here, but Rose always promised she'd stay. But ever since they encountered Mrs. Blackwater's misery, Rose had changed.

She could imagine that same venomous voice saying awful things about her husband, "Lee Bodecker put that body in the water. I saw it with my own two eyes!"

The thought of her husband killing someone shouldn't sound so crazy, especially after being able to do it herself. But her Lee can't be a cold-hearted man who slept with whores, murdered people, and ruined people lives. He was so sweet to her, he wasn't always was, but his touch was so soft against her skin, how could he hurt anyone?

Y/n had just turned 19 when she met Lee. He was a deputy, closer to being the sheriff than either of them knew at the time. Their age difference scared her somewhat; she only gave him a chance so she could distract herself from reminding herself that she should be finishing up the last year of being a college freshman. She had the grades and thought her test scores were satisfactory but she got rejected from Indiana University. Her father told her that there is always next year, but her mother told her she should just figure out a new plan.

It was the uncertainty and loneliness that made her get closer to Lee. He was close to his late 20s, unmarried, and he didn't exactly make his loneliness unknown.

He left a sour taste in her mouth in their very first encounter; pulling her over as an excuse to get her number. She gripped the steering wheel to stop them from shaking so much. She only had her license for a few weeks and made sure to be careful in fear of this exact situation happening. His slick talk didn't make her feel that much better either. She was too shaken up to even look at him in the eye or take in any of his features. She just remembered seeing his badge the words DEPUTY SHERIFF etched into it.

Lee let her off, saying she had a "pretty face" and that he hoped to see her around. She didn't think much about their interaction the days after he pulled her over, but she began to see him more than before. Y/n couldn't remember a time she had seen him prior to that one night and found it odd that his face kept reappearing. (He later told her that it was fate, but it was not. Lee purposefully put himself in her orbit. It was not hard to learn what her routine was and when she went out.)

She was weary about his advances, unsure how to react to them because the most experience she's had was with two boys, only one of whom she kissed. Their first date was not by choice either, he just decided to stick by her side while she was at the local dinner by herself.

And he has always stuck by since then, always hovering around her until she realized he was not going to go away and it’d be futile to ignore him. Lee never gave her the chance to make the decision for herself, but his girl was so sweet and she just needed a few cushy words for her to understand that this was where she belonged.

"Do your parents know you're out here meeting me?" It had only been a matter of time before she learned to be very obedient to him; always accepting his plans, even if it meant sneaking out of the house in the midnight hour. The smirk he wore on his face every time he watched her walk up to him left her feeling enchanted.

"Don't talk too loud. If my brother hears you he'll kill you and have my head."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her front to him. Lee groaned at the feel of her breast against his chest. She was so nervous to do anything with him that she only let him kiss her. It was fine for a while, but he had grown tired of waiting. Tired of being teased by her in those soft, pink dresses that would ride up whenever she had to bend over even just a little bit. He couldn't believe how naive she was to believe he was always dropping things like a pencil or his wallet on accident; he just wanted to see her bend over for him just for a chance to peak at what pretty panties she wore that day.

Getting her to come out with him at night was surprising, but the idea of riding in his patrol car was so alluring. The sparkle in her eyes gave him an overwhelming sense of machismo; enough for him to realize he just needs to take what she wants.

The full moon hung in the clear sky and they had a vast, open field in front of them. He took her just to the edge of the county that was secluded and was his favorite spot to go for some quiet (or getting his dick sucked). The moonlight and a few street lights that were actually working were the only light they had.

"You look so pretty today baby," his hand rested on her thigh the whole entire drive but only now did he actually move it to stroke her skin, "you always look so pretty for me. I'm the luckiest man in town."

Y/n giggled and her face felt like it was burning up. No one had taken the time to compliment her sweetly, and that was obvious to Lee. He cradled her face in the palm of his hand and watched her turn into putty. His hand inches closer to her heat causing her to jump like his hand was made of actual fire.

"Relax baby...just relax for me," Lee planted his face in her neck and nipped at it. His lips tickled the skin on her neck and she did her best to suppress her giggles but they spilled from her lips. Lee smirked against her skin, "there she is. There's my girl."

She let a laugh slip through, but she suppressed the moan that was stuck in her throat. It was so odd to feel him on her neck but it was an unfamiliar feeling that she liked. His hand never left her thigh, in fact he had sneakily moved it closer to her sex. She felt ashamed about the growing wetness that she could feel sticking to her.

Lee grabbed her hand and placed it right over the bulge straining in his pants. She let out a heavy sigh when she realized what it was. "That's how hard you make me. You making me so fucking hard girl," he growled in her ears. This was something only the senior girls from her high school could dream about when they talked about hooking up with their boyfriends. None of them were even half the man Lee was, and here he was: hard and ready just for her.

"L-Lee," her voice broke into bits, her body overheating from Lee taking control, "wait, can we slow down?"

"You taste so sweet baby," he continued kissing her, ignoring her until she was pulling away from his grasp. "What's wrong girl?" The furrowing of his brow made her worry that she pissed him off. Lee was all she had, he convinced her to put away her dream of going to college and stay here for him, if she ran him off then she'd have nothing else.

"I'm just nervous. I’ve never done this before Lee," she hoped her honesty went a long way and would make him take her home instead. But all it did was make him readjust himself in his seat and pull away from her rather coldly.

Lee was irritated with her, she got him all hard, but he did his best to temper his anger. She's lucky that he was on the job all day and didn't have a chance to drink yet or else she'd see the side of him that he purposely hid from her.

"Don't be nervous baby. You know I love you right?" She nodded her head with her wide eyes holding a sad look in them, "good girl. Let me show you something."

Lee patted his lap and Y/n looked at him with apprehension.

"C'mon now," he patted his lap once again, this time with a bit of impatience in his voice.

Y/n awkwardly shifted over the center console of his patrol car and found herself in his lap. His strong arms wrapped around her waist and he rested his chin on her shoulder. She tried to ignore how his bulge poked at her slit through her cotton panties.

"You ever been in a car this nice before?"

"Uh-uh," she shook her head, somewhat distracted by the beautiful interior and his cock poking at her. The only car she's ever drove was the shitty one that was passed down to her. Lee's patrol car doesn't look like it's more than five years old.

Seeing her look in wonder at the dash made him even harder. He began to rut against her, trying to feel as much friction as he could, but it wasn't enough to satiate a man who has been waiting a few months for this.

He sat back and started fumbling with his pants. Y/n heard the sound of the metal on his belt and unzipping of his pants but she froze on top of him instead of moving. She grabbed the steering wheel and held onto it as tight as she did the night he first laid eyes on her. Her alarm rose when Lee lifted her up a little to push her panties to the side.

"Lee what are you doing-"

"Shhh baby don't worry, I got you."

The sensation of his head poking at her slit and her sliding down him was unspeakable. She was uncomfortable with his splitting size, but he didn't move her at all, trying to give her some time to adjust but it was just so hard for him to restrain himself. She was so tight and warm, and definitely untouched by any man. "Fuck," he mumbled warmly in her ear. She felt him wrap his arm tighter around her, almost as if he was afraid she was going to somehow run away from him. Even if she wanted to, she wouldn't know her way back home and she'd be stuck out here. She was safe with Lee even though she found herself feeling more confusion than pleasure.

Those girls from her high school days had to been lying to her, sex didn’t feel all that magical; his patrol car was not a romantic place to lose her virginity. Lee rocked her on his cock slowly as she tried to find the same pleasure that he was experiencing. His heavy breath was on her ear as she stared straight up into the night sky.

"You feel so good. You feel so fucking good baby."

His pleasure is what made her want to stay on top of him like this. She cared for him so much and she just wanted Lee to be proud of her. The "good girl" that continuously spilled from his lips sounded like a hymn she wanted to memorize.

Y/n let Lee have his way with her body. He groped her breast through her dress and then let his hands graze her sides. She wondered what he was doing when his hand slipped into her panties, but the warmth that shot through her made her mind go blank. Lee rubbed at her sensitive bud and she constricted around him. Instead of whimpering, she was now fully moaning; the way it felt so good had put her discomfort into the back of her mind.

"Oh fuck -- move your hips girl. You feel so good."

He rubbed her harder as a reward for swirling her hips against him. She began to bounce on top of him and he no longer had to do the hard work, just lean back and feel her engulfing him in her warmth.

"Lee," she whimpered, unsure of herself, but then she called his name again, "Lee," as if to let him know that he was the one giving her pleasure.

Lee knew he wasn't going to last, not when she was as tight and wet as she was. He can't remember the last time he took someone's virginity, nor when he was this hard. It was clear to him that she had no idea what she was doing by the way she bounced on him without a rhythm. Sometimes she'd stall herself before moving fast again. It didn't irk him, he found it endearing that she was so inexperienced. He was going to have to show her a lot of things and get her to fuck him to his liking.

Y/n gasped when Lee pulled out of her and jerked himself until white liquid was splashing on the back of her panties. She'd have to wash them before her mother saw the stain.

"You did so good baby, taking my cock like a big girl," he placed a sloppy kiss on her cheek, still trying to catch his breath while she shifted on top of him. He put himself away and nudged her towards the empty passenger seat. She was silent the entire time he drove her home. A sense of pride filled her because she had made Lee feel good. The sex itself was too weird to describe as being good, but she liked how she felt inside when he told her she felt good and that she made him cum. That's all she wanted to do was please Lee.

-

Saturday morning proved to be another beautiful day. It seems as if Summer didn't want to leave just yet even though October was near. There wouldn't be many more opportunities for Lee to make his impressions and sway the last few voters not on his side.

The event had been boring at most, but Sally's words really shook her up. No one in town would deny that Mrs. Blackwater has always been a bitter women, but they also wouldn't necessarily turn the other cheek if she starts going around saying that Lee Bodecker is a murder. Y/n's new problem made her forget about the decaying brothel owner. She doesn't care how mean the whole town thought the old woman was, she wanted her gone.

"You slept in. Did I tire you out last night?" Lee had the same smug smirk on his face that has been imprinted on her brains since their early years together.

Y/n nodded even though it wasn't completely truthful. She slept so hard because she's mentally spent and it was finally catching up with her body. Lee had been too distracted to notice how distant she was last night and how she is still distant now. In his eyes, as long as she was eager to lay under him then everything was fine.

Most mornings started like this: Y/n waking up next to her still tired husband and waiting to hear her daughter crying for her. He trudged out of bed and she heard him beat a path down the hall to the bathroom. There was still no sound of her daughter needing her, giving her some time alone. It was nearly silent except for the faint sound of the shower going. She breathed deeply and found herself feeling serene. Just five minutes without the memory of Sally threatening to pull her and her husband's support taunting her.

"Y/n! Do you not hear her crying?" Lee held a stern look on face, he must have been standing there for a few minutes. His towel was wrapped around his waist, stomach hanging over the soft white cotton, "what's wrong with you girl?"

She shook her head, "nothing Lee. I'm just still a lil' tired."

His face softened at her explanation but he nodded his head towards the door so she could take care of their daughter. Y/n hurried not to upset him for the rest of the day.

Their baby was just fussy and hungry. Her little eyes weren’t that red so she hadn’t been crying for long. “You hungry?” Her daughter somewhat understood what her mother was saying because her eyes went wide. The nightgowns Lee had bought Y/n made it much easier for her to pull herself out of them to feed their girl. She could see her daughter calming down, eyes closing once again. Y/n thought about keeping her daughter with her but she needed to rest in her crib. She placed her down gently as not to disturb and wake her again. At least one person in this family deserves peace.

"Back to sleep?" Lee's voice startled her, but the hand on her hip soothed her. Y/n nodded, never taking her eyes away from her girl. "Precious isn't she? So sweet when she's not fussin' about."

"She only fusses because she's teething, and she misses her father."

"Honey, you know why I'm at work longer than usual. It's for her. It's for you. It's for us. Do you know how much better her life, your life, is going to be better after I win that race?"

"But what if you don't win?"

Y/n rarely questions Lee, not even over small things, so he was confused as to why she was questioning him now. Did his wife not believe in him? She worried a lot, but when he first ran for sheriff, she was not this doubtful.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Lee, I didn't say that. It's just that people been talkin' and -"

"And you believe them? So my own wife doesn't think I'm going to win because a few people can’t got some things wrong?”

Y/n flinched as his voice got louder. The brashness of his voice woke their girl up from her attempt to fall into a deep sleep. Instead of waking up and silently looking around, the first thing that came from her was a cry. It served as a way for Y/n to escape Lee's wrath. She pulled her crying daughter into her arms and held her close to her chest. One glance at Lee's face and she knew he was going to deal with her later. But for now he just sighed and walked out of the nursery.

"Aww don't cry honey. It was just your daddy, okay? He's not mad at you sweetheart. Don't cry...don't cry," Y/n's voice cracked and tears slipped down her face. Her pleas were more for herself than they were her daughter.

Lee's hesitance to address the obvious problems he faces in regards to the election made Y/n feel uneasy. All she wanted was for her husband to just outright say he never did those things, but he never did. And if Y/n has resulted to murder, then she knows deep down that he did some of those things that people allege. There were just things that were too loud to drown out. The business when it came to solving a string of murders that happened a few years ago and people talking about him didn't affect him when he was going for re-election. There was no one else that had a strong enough presence to go against him and the folks in town figured that Lee gets enough done as far as crime goes, even though he could do more.

Y/n should be tired of trying to clean up his mess when he was so short with her. However it is not entirely his fault; he does not know. Maybe one day he'll learn and be grateful for what she has done for him.

-

Lee just couldn't stop reminding her that Sandy and Carl were coming over. It's almost as if he knew it got under Y/n's skin and used it against her after she hurt his feelings this morning. He's a sensitive one, even though he hides it well from most people, but her moment of vulnerability wasn't meant to hurt him. Though if their conversation had progressed any further, she might have spilled what she did to the brothel owner. She may want to believe Lee would be proud of her, but she cannot be so sure. It's sickening to assume that someone would be proud of a murder. She quickly began to feel dirty after a few minutes with her own thoughts ever since Lee snapped at her.

"Can you clean up? We're going to be having guests soon."

There were just a few baby toys on the floor but it was best not to make things worse with Lee (even though those toys were going to end up in the same place anyway).

Lee stepped outside as Y/n put their daughter in her high chair. Ever since her birth Lee was mindful not to smoke in the house; it was one of the house rules Y/n proposed that he was surprisingly very accepting of. She had taken away most of the things that he used to destress: alcohol, cigarettes, and candies.

She heard the motor of a car and Lee's muffled voice. She knew it was them, but hoped they were just making a short trip over. It's not like Lee likes Carl, and he's constantly complaining about his trouble making sister. Y/n hates that Sandy uses their daughter as an excuse to come over. She wouldn't mind if Sandy came alone, but she hated Carl around her little girl and she's sure Lee feels the same way.

Y/n's mother had gotten their daughter such a stupid gift when she was born. A baby that's not even half a year old yet didn't need a toy that had a million little pieces they could easily choke on, but of course it was her favorite thing to place with. Lee never cleaned up the mess, it was always Y/n who was doing it. She tried her best to pick everything up before they stepped inside but she heard the front door open. She tensed up, but she only heard the heavy footsteps of one person, and god did she hope it was Lee.

"What you doin' down there?"

Her eyes trailed up and Carl was gazing down at her. Words got caught in her throat and she clutched her hand around one of the toy pieces, the edges of it painfully digging into her palm.

"Did I scare you?"

The smirk on her face made her want to shriek. She noted that he didn't call her "darlin'" like he used to. She can only guess what Lee did to him when he "took him out back" after calling her that for a few years.

"Where's my niece?"

Y/n shot up, not caring about the toys still on the floor. She'll be damned if Carl is alone with her daughter for even a second.

Sandy came in with Lee following behind her. He gave Y/n a look of understanding, he too hoped this was going to be a short visit. The sound of Sandy fawning over her niece overtook the room. Their daughter giggled and babbled at her aunt as if she could understand her.

"Y/n go make us some ice tea."

Usually Lee doesn't command her to do things, unless he was stressed or horny. She knew her was the former by the look on his face. He was aggravated and this visit wasn't going to make him feel any better. As Y/n left the room, Sandy sat down on their couch with their daughter in her arms. Carl sat next to them, making the alarm in Lee rise.

"I got you something honey," she pulled out a little doll from her purse. It looked tattered and Lee wondered where she got it from.

"You know she already has enough dollies," Lee joked. It didn't matter to his girl, it was a new toy, "got anything for your brother?"

Sandy eyes him before pulling out a small bag of candy. She tossed it to him and he caught it, "I knew you'd ask for somethin'"

He opened it and instantly popped a sweet cherry candy into his mouth.

"Y/n's not letting me drink since the girl is so young. This is the only thing I got, even though she's on my ass about that too," Lee knew that Sandy wasn't too interested in the ins-and-outs of his everyday life but he gets tired of complaining to his deputies.

"Yea, I bet," she kept a snide comment about her sister-in-law to herself. The box of cigarettes she had calling her name we're going to have to wait. "How's that mayor race going?"

"It's going."

"Heard that whore house owner croaked," Carl's voice carried to the kitchen and Y/n paused, "found in unusual circumstances...chairs pushed up against the door...poisoned. Reckon one of those girls got tired of him holdin' them down-"

"No smoking in the house," Lee interrupted when he noticed Carl reaching for the pack of cigarettes in his shirt pocket. Carl laughed as if he wanted to challenge Lee, but his hand went back to resting on the back of the couch.

"Wouldn't want this little darlin' smellin' like a bar."

Anytime Carl spoke at or about her daughter, Y/n wanted to vomit. Carl is not nice. She wonders how twisted Sandy might be to marry someone who is awful to women and has no filter.

There was a cloud of fear over her head when Carl was around. She wishes Lee was more apprehensive but Sandy's his little sister, and he cares for her no matter how much those two causes. Things would be different if Y/n had told Lee about that time Carl pressed himself against and put his hand up the skirt of her dress. His threat would forever bounce off her skull and it only got louder when he was near. "Shut you're fucking mouth or else your husbands gonna see his slut wife bending over for another man." She was five months pregnant and had no way to defend herself. He only groped her, but she always wondered if he would've gone further if Sandy hadn't come in looking for the cooking tongs Lee told her to fetch. Sandy knew something had happened, but she said nothing. Y/n's disdain for her only grew from that day on.

Lee redirected the conversation from what Carl had started to something a bit more asinine. He didn't want to talk about something work-related because he didn't need to be stressed out any further. Reed’s death wasn't another blow to his reputation like Lee thought it would. It was going to be another unsolved murder from the way it was looking though. The people assumed one of the girls did it. The place had been emptied out; it surely looked different from when Lee was last in there. Lee was lucky that Reed was extremely disliked, unlike that preacher Roy who died some years ago. More people said "he had it coming" instead of "why isn't the sheriff doing anything?"

He laughed about it though. When he was alone in the car after leaving the crime scene, he laughed. There was no more worrying about the rumor that Sheriff Lee Bodecker beat one of his girls. When Lee did go to that place, he was never forceful. Lee could be mean towards women at times, but he was never violent.

-

If Lee was called in on a Sunday morning, then it was very important. He woke Y/n up at 5 am and kissed her out of her confused state to say goodbye. She only slept for another hour after laying her head down back on the pillow.

This morning felt so different.

The morning she woke up knowing her task was to deal with Reed, she was distracted and jumpy. But she had grown so accustomed to her guilt that it's become a comfortable feeling. Mrs. Blackwater was a more personal score to settle. That woman was throwing dirt on Lee's name, but the turmoil she caused her teenage friend would never leave her mind. Y/n had learned how cruel someone could be without physically hurting you. The boys on school grounds were annoying brats, but that woman had a truly awful mouth.

The Petersons’ daughter was over right after church. She had a wide smile on her face, happy that Mrs. Bodecker was giving her another opportunity to make some money.

"She's been a fairly good mood lately," Y/n handed her daughter off to the shorter teenage girl, "she slept through the night for once, but she's still gonna need a nap. Once she starts fussin' put her in her crib. I should be back before Lee."

Y/n wished her well and the Petersons girl wished Y/n a good time running her errands. It was comical to think of this as an errand, even though today she was going to treat it like one.

She was in Lee's nice car again meaning she was going to have to temporarily get rid of it. Y/n put much more effort into this, her haphazard plan to take out Reed could've gone horribly wrong. She spent her time snooping around town when she was out with one of her mom friends. The plan had been simple: park the car at the crowded grocery just two blocks away from the Blackwater house. The house sat at the end of the street, a bit separated from the other row of houses because of the larger amount of land they owned. It wouldn't be a problem to walk to the house seeing as others in this neighborhood do the same thing.

When her mother had made that dress for her to wear to the Spring Formal, Y/n cried, saying she was going to look like a nurse instead of "the prettiest girl in town" like Jim, the guy who asked her to the dance said. A teenage grievance had somehow come in handy almost a decade later. It was under a long coat that was a bit abnormal for this warm day.

Y/n felt sickly confident. That only thing she worried about was Lee cruising through and seeing his car in the parking lot. But the grocery store offered a great cover. The sun was covered by a thick cloud as she walked away from the grocery store and to the old Blackwater house.

That porch still looked the same. It was old and rickety, squeaking as she stepped on it, she's surprised it didn't give it away some years ago. The rocking chair Mrs. Blackwater sat on while terrorizing people was no longer there. At least her days of scaring off the newer generation of kids were over.

Y/n knocked on the door and waited. She had to knock again, and by the third time she wondered if the old lady did the job for her!

"Who is it?" The voice was much more frail, but it was that voice.

"I'm here to help!" The upturn of her voice at the end made her statement sound more like a question.

The locks on the door began to click and Mrs. Blackwater peered at her.

"You're not the one they always send."

"Oh, she's sick today! I'm just filling in for her today!" After two weeks of watching, Y/n learned what days Mrs. Blackwater's nurse came and went. She came everyday but she was absent on Sundays. It's somewhat astounding that Mrs. Blackwater didn't ask about Y/n turning up on a Sunday.

"Ahh whatever," she dismissed, unlocking the screen door, and wheeling backwards in the wheelchair that she had been relegated to a few years ago.

Y/n didn't know what to expect when she stepped inside, but it wasn't too far off from how her parent's house looked; black and white photos littering the walls and stacks of paper that probably could've been thrown away a decade ago. What is different from her parent's home is that this place is an utter mess. The nurse that usually comes to take care of her could at least tidy it up a bit. With how much she hated everything, Y/n would've assumed she hated mess too, but her home says otherwise. This lady was an absolute hoarder.

"Don't bother me," Mrs. Blackwater sniped at her. She wheeled herself next to the couch and glued her eyes to the black and white television screen.

Y/n doesn't know how many hours Mrs. Blackwater spent sitting there and watching The Andy Griffin Show. She didn't laugh when something funny happened, she just sat there still, sometimes grumbling to herself in reaction to what was happening on screen.

The least Y/n could do was tidy up a bit. It would be a kind gesture to leave her to die in a presentable place.

Mrs. Blackwater is not going to die a violent death. She was awful, but she did not deserve the brutality like someone who has done physical harm did. (If she was just a little bit braver, she would've hacked him to death, but the sight of blood makes her ill). Mrs. Blackwater was up in age, nearing her 90s, and it would be time for her to go soon anyway. Y/n dusted around the TV, one of the last things this old woman may see. All the photos of people on the walls were staring at her as she moved about cleaning the dust from the frames. So many people, many dead but most probably alive. Mrs. Blackwater had children and probably grandchildren but no one came to visit her. Her tongue was sharp, but how could no one come and visit their aging mother?

"Stop moving so damn much. Sit down girl."

The venom was still in her voice. It would never go away, at least not until she dies. This woman didn't appreciate anything and enjoyed being miserable. Y/n listened to her like that scared little teenager she used to be. She sat on the couch, a few feet away from Mrs. Blackwater who had not taken her eyes off the TV or moved at all. Y/n was spending time with a woman who was going to die at her hands today. If she's going to die then at least she's going to die doing what she loves; watching her shows and bitching out the closest person in reach.

She had only moved to grab the newspaper from the table on the other side of her. It was Friday's addition, Y/n could tell from the photo on the cover. She couldn't help but eye the old woman as she read the paper. It has been probably three hours and she hasn't even asked for anything to eat.

"People droppin' like flies in this shit hole."

Y/n's ears perked up, but she didn't say anything, she just let the lady talk.

"Leroy should know better not to do that shit here...especially with that corrupt sheriff around...would've had an easier time gettin' away with it in the city. Everyone in the city already does all that illegal shit so it probably wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Now he’s dead."

Y/n had heard that name before. She remembers vividly Lee chewing someone out on the phone and saying their name with contempt. Leroy, Leroy, Leroy. The name "Bobo" also came up in the conversation a few times. Y/n wanted to be mad at Mrs. Blackwater for referring to her husband as "corrupt" but something nagged at her to keep the conversation going for her sake.

"W-what do you mean?" Her voice cracked but it was ignored by the old woman.

"You must not be from here. Everyone knows that if you get caught up with that fat bastard sheriff you must be doin’ some awful shit. The only reason why he keeps gettin' re-elected is because everyone is scared of him. It doesn't matter how many babies that man has, he's a killer...dragging that man's body and fucking up carnations..."

No one had ever talked to Mrs. Bodecker about her husband like this. Town gossipers had the decency to wait until she left the room to say something about him. But she's not Mrs. Bodecker right now. It does not matter anyway because the old lady doesn't know what she's talking about. She hasn't spent the hours with Lee, with him being sweet and so soft with his daughter. Y/n firmly believes that if Lee did indeed kill someone then it was for a good reason. She knows her husband involves himself in dirty things, but it had to be for a good reason. Lee did not show brutality for no reason; he didn't get his rocks off on hurting innocent people.

"People can change. I'm sure he's a different man now."

"Why!? Because he got a bitch and a bastard? You are too naïve...at least the other girl they send has some more sense in her head. No man is going to want to marry a dumb girl."

An awkward silence surrounded them but it was mostly felt by Y/n. She found herself frozen with a ball of rage and anxiety in her stomach. But she had no time to dwell for much longer though.

"I'm thirsty...go make me something."

Y/n noticed Mrs. Blackwater flinching when she grabbed the remote to turn the volume higher. She either had arthritis or just pain in her hands.

"Okay...do you need to take any pills at this time?"

"My husbands gone and my children don't visit me. You think I care about taking my pills?"

Maybe Mrs. Blackwater would be kind to her if she knew Y/n was going to take her out of her misery. Breaking open the capsules and dumping it in the tea she made for her is going to do the job. She might succumb to a heart attack, or pass peacefully. The only person Y/n felt bad for was the poor nurse who was going to find her dead tomorrow morning.

-

Lee was able to leave his shift earlier than expected. Sundays are very quiet, the only thing he got up to was paperwork at the station. He could go home early to his wife, play with the girl while Y/n makes dinner, and get a nice ride from his wife while their daughter sleeps. Y/n said something about needing him to pick up some chicken stock from the grocery store.

People filled in and out of the grocery store as the sun began to set. A few people spoke to him, never for too long knowing that he's not fond of small talk. But more people being friendly with him was a good sign. Even without his sweet wife next to him, no one shied away from saying hello to the man running for Mayor.

Two boxes of chicken stock should be enough even though his wife sent him for three. The brand she likes isn’t exactly cheap. Lee promptly made his way to the cashier who greeted him with a smile.

"Good evening sheriff!" her voice was sweet and she batted her eyes a few times. Lee offered her a smile, but a small laugh escaped. This girl couldn't be younger than 20 but she fawned over him like a young school girl. Her behavior reminded him of Y/n when she was that age. "Darlene said she saw your car in the parking lot but didn't get a chance to catch Mrs. Bodecker herself."

Lee stopped caring about the items (a few snuck in there for him) being rung up. His brows furrowed and the girl realized that she had said something maybe she shouldn't have.

"My wife was here?"

"That's what Darlene said. Her shift ended right as I was coming in so I wasn't there when it happened...do you still want the chicken stock?"

"Yea yea just ring it up."

Lee's mind was too preoccupied with the weird behavior his wife has been exhibiting for the last several weeks. She often hovered over him when he was on the phone like she was interested in what he was talking about. All the swearing and terms she didn't understand kept her from asking what his loud, and often abrasive, phone conversations were about. But now she was listening a little too hard for his liking.

The only time Y/n was supposed to drive their car is if Lee told her she could or if there was an emergency. A trip to the grocery store did not fall under either of those categories. But it was particularly weird to him that she would go to the store when she told him to go himself. If she had forgotten something, she would have not hesitated to call the station. Something was up with her.

Everything felt normal as he stepped into the house. The smell of what she was cooking hit his nose and the familiar noises of his daughter babbling louder than the Y/n moving around the kitchen. If he had no questions for his wife, then he'd feel all warm inside walking into his home in this current state.

Y/n was talking to their daughter as if she was holding a real conversation with her. Their daughter started squealing when she saw Lee appear in the doorway. He put his index finger to his lips to tell her to quiet herself, but she was only louder.

"I couldn't believe it either! They said the hairdresser purposefully dyed Marie's hair darker," she spoke, thinking her daughter was just squealing because she was talking to her and not because her husband was creeping up behind her.

Hands snaked around her waist and she nearly jumped. "Oh yea? Is that what the town is gossipin' about today?" Lee's familiar voice soothed her and she turned around in his arms. She deftly kissed him and looked up at him.

"Wanna know what else I heard?" He whispered to her. Y/n nodded, a smile spreading on her face as she rested her forehead against his, "heard the sheriff's wife been out and about and driving his nice car."

Y/n's smile fell from her face, but it only made Lee smile wider.

"You wanna tell me what you were doing out?"

"I needed something from the store."

"So my task to pick up the chicken stock after work was for nothing?"

"No...I went to my parents house...didn't want to go empty-handed. You know how my mother gets."

What a sweet little liar.

But she still had the smell of an old house lingering around her so maybe it wasn’t completely a lie. Still, he knew something was up with her.

“How was work?” She quickly tried to change the subject. Lee was not really in the mood to interrogate her, it was Sunday after all. He sat down in the chair next to his daughter's high chair. She started reaching for his hat but he was too far away, so Lee rested his head on the tray and let her have her fun. Y/n was probably going to be mad at him for putting his head where she eats and getting all of his “outside germs” all over it, but he didn’t care.

“I’m tired,” he confessed, a heavy sigh escaping him, “I’m really fucking tired.”

Y/n wishes she could lift more of her husband’s burdens. Killing people who were talking about him did not get rid of the core problem. Sometimes she wishes he never decided to run for mayor. Life was so much more comfortable when he would run unopposed for county sheriff. Instead her husband had a bigger dream. From the very beginning she felt like it was a long shot that this would be successful, but they had gotten so far in changing how most of the people viewed Lee. And even though they felt a way about him, they still respected the sheriff.

“It’s going to be over soon. I promise.”

He truly wanted to believe her, but the sinking feeling that the past was going to catch up with him was not going away.

[crimsonrae]

Disintegration

Chapter Two

Summary: He witnessed the worst night of her life, he just never expected for her to become the love of his life.

KlausxCami

Warnings: Mentions of Domestic Abuse.

Rating: Mature

Chapter Two

2009

Amber liquid sat almost tauntingly within its iced tumbler as Camille stared aimlessly at the wall. Low chattering echoed dimly in her ears, but she registered little of the subdued crowd. She felt angry... no, she felt numb. Like a spindly serpent lying in wait for its prey, her anger lurked beneath the surface – its coil hardly tolerable.

Her fingers clenched around her glass, silently reveling in the wet dew that had coalesced on its exterior. It anchored her to the present even as she drifted in her scattered thoughts. Small bursts of Saturday played in her head, stuck like a broken reel. It was both a blur and all too clear. She could still feel the slick feel of Scott's blood on her hands, even as quips of conversation broke her reverie. Hours spent in the county jail had been nothing compared to the cold words from her mother and the stony silence that had followed her back to her dorm.

It had all become too much. She needed to get out.

It had occurred to her there was a certain amount of irony that she had taken refuge inside a bar. Not the one that she had beaten Scott to a pulp in – she was firmly banned from that establishment, but one across town. Away from campus and anyone who knew her. Camille tried not to pay too much mind to the fact that she was employing less than stellar coping mechanisms over the mess she had made of her life, but really, she was already on a roll of bad decisions. Why stop now?

Still...it was amazing how quickly everything had spiraled out of control.

One minute she had been a junior, set to finish her bachelor's degree with honors in the next year – now, with a court date set for next week and a meeting with the Dean's office tomorrow, it looked as if expulsion was on the horizon. And somehow that was at the bottom of her priority list. Felony assault and battery charges hovered over her head like an impending noose, not to mention, two parents infuriated with their daughter and the shame she had brought her family. She hardly cared that Scott was breathing from a tube in a hospital, she did care that Marnie hadn't called her.

Had she lost a friend as well as her academic career? She hadn't foreseen that... though, in truth, she hadn't put much thought into her actions. She had simply reacted and that – that wasn't like her.

"Penny for your thoughts, love."

Camille nearly jolted at the honey grizzled voice that chimed next to her table. She glanced up into a pair of oddly familiar cerulean eyes that shined curiously at her. It took her a moment to place him, and it was only as his lips curled into a self-satisfied smirk that she remembered.

He had been there.

Entertained by the entire debacle.

Now, that's what I call a show.

Her hidden ire rumbled in the face of her spectator. How she had hated his delight. It annoyed her that he had found her now when she wanted nothing more than to be left alone.

Pursing her lips distastefully, she arched a brow, "They're not for sale."

Her irritation was not lost on Klaus, if anything her dismissal amused him, "Come now, that's not true. Anything is for sale; it all depends on the price."'

"Well unless you have a time machine, I don't think you'll be able to afford my thoughts." Camille muttered wearily as she sipped from her glass. She pointedly turned her gaze away, making it silently clear she was done with him.

Yet, Klaus had never been one to let a challenge go untested. He found himself slipping into the chair across from her, much to Camille's exasperation, "Now why would you want a time machine? Please tell me, it's not to go back and stop yourself from beating that pillock from the other night half to death. Such passion should never be undone or regretted."

Camille arched a brow, nonplused by his words, "Not everyone views such acts of violence with the same enjoyment as you did... I don't believe that I invited you to sit. I'm not particularly in the mood for company."

"Yes, you've been quite rude." Klaus intoned almost cheerfully as he signaled for a waiter – now he was making it silently clear that he had no intention to leave, "That's alright, I don't mind a bit of surliness. I've been known to be a rather temperamental creature myself... but let's be honest here, love, while I may have enjoyed your spirited attack, you enjoyed committing it more."

She hated the truth that rang in his words. Stifling a sigh, Cami tossed back the rest of her drink and dropped a few bills on the table. She came here to get away, not to be harassed.

She wasn't granted the chance to stand as his fingers entrapped her wrist, "Let me go."

"Stay." Klaus implored, loosening his grip, but not removing his touch, "I won't speak of your little... incident if you do not wish it. I have several hours to kill, and you are by the far the most interesting person I've run into today. Please, keep me company."

Despite her desire to depart, her curiosity glimmered faintly at his words, "Is that why you seemingly tracked me down? Boredom?"

"Hardly tracked you down, love." Klaus said after placing an order for two more drinks with the waiter. "You're in the pub of my hotel. Merely, came downstairs and saw you."

Camille blinked before she sat back and viewed the bar through new eyes. There was an entranceway toward the back that she now realized led into a lobby. Marble floors and polished banisters gleamed through the glass door. It fairly screamed expensive. It also explained the quietness of a bar... the stillness that had drawn her inside.

Klaus watched her perusal with muted amusement, "You have no idea where you are. Not that you're in a bad neighborhood, mind you, but it is foolish to not have your bearings about you."

Camille silently stifled her unease as again his words rang true. A sense of danger lurked with his presence that she was only beginning to acknowledge, but something kept her survival instincts from fully sounding off.

"I wasn't really..." She trailed off as she realized her words would only reinforce his point about being foolish.

He knew it too.

His head tilted to the side and his eyes softened with an understanding that she swore he shouldn't have. It was similar to the way he had looked at her as she had been carted off by the police... Cami didn't understand why it had seemed to soothe and irritate her then, and she still didn't understand it now.

"Running away, were you?" Klaus intoned sagely, "I know a fair bit about that, but you don't strike me as the type to run from a situation. What demons plague you, aside from the obvious?"

Cami snorted and wondered if this counted as talking about her incident, but found herself replying, "Demons is a bit harsh... and why would I tell you, Nosey Stranger, anything about my demons?"

Klaus grinned and was stalled from answering as their drinks arrived, "Well conversation is easier when at least one party opens up, no? And you can call me Klaus. Niklaus Mikaelson."

"Cami." She returned softly, "Why don't we focus on you, instead? What brings you to my little corner of the word, Klaus?"

"I am not nearly that interesting."

"I somehow doubt that."

"Doubt all you like, but I could say the same of you."

"Could you?" Cami said almost teasingly as a smirk tugged at her lips.

Klaus huffed a low laugh as he conceded, "Well, I could if you told me about yourself."

They were flirting, Cami noted distantly as they exchanged not-quite-shy smiles again. Her head spun – how had this happened? She had been thoroughly annoyed with this man not even ten seconds ago. And while some of that sentiment still lurked, she now could only think about how handsome he looked when he smiled... actually smiled, not smirked.

One thing was for certain, she wasn't feeling quite so numb anymore... and she wasn't sure that was necessarily a good thing. Despite how handsome the man before her was or how charming he was turning out to be, she had the distinct impression that she was a match strike away from playing with fire.

"How about a question for a question?" She proposed almost absently and nearly cursed as soon as the words left her tongue.

Klaus considered her offer with shrewd eyes, "Any question?"

A reluctant sigh left Cami, "Let me guess, you have a question about Saturday night?"

"A few." Klaus acknowledged with a sly quirk to his lips, "But mainly one pressing one."

She shook her head and dragged the untouched drink he had bought her to her side. If they were going to play this game she would need the alcohol, "Fine. Ask."

"What did he do?" Klaus asked quietly as she hesitated, her glance almost suspicious – he explained, "In two minutes of conversation, I've ascertained that you are not a rash person. A bit foolhardy perhaps, but you've been moderately cautious since I've engaged your interest. You also don't strike me as the type to attack someone without reason. So, what was your reason? What did he do?"

There was a long silence as Camille gauged what she wanted to impart. Several glib answers rested on her tongue, non-answers that would dismiss his question and move their conversation on, but the truth burned in her throat. It would be nice to tell someone who didn't know her, who didn't know Scott or Marnie, who wasn't there to judge her actions as just or fair what her motivation had been...

"I have a roommate. We've roomed together the last three years – and she's great. Sweet, shy. I couldn't have picked a better roommate... or friend." Camille started quietly. She ignored the lick of angry flames that sparked in her belly, "She met him a few months ago and they hit it off immediately. I liked him. He was funny and he brought her out of her shell."

A wave of nausea swarmed her simmering fury and she paused as she remembered the carefree way Scott would greet her. The little presents that he would bring for Marnie. Those gifts seemed so more insidious now that she realized those parcels showed up after every incident.

Klaus waited patiently, somehow knowing not to speak as she sought the proper words. Her jade eyes had deepened to a sparking emerald, imbued with dark emotion.

"Then one day she came back to our room. Her shirt was covered in blood, a plaster taped over her nose, and two black eyes. He had hit her. Only once she said. It was an accident she said, but he broke her nose." Camille swallowed and resisted the urge to ball her fist, "She refused to go to the RA or the Dean or any other official and just waved me off. It wouldn't happen again, and I knew that was bullshit. I knew..."

The shiver of rage in her tone struck a chord within Klaus as he watched her. Any hint of his earlier joviality and curiosity had vanished in the face of her anguish. His own anger growled in answer to hers – he had never been one to shy away from violence, but brutish nonsensical abuse had always been and always would be a sore point for him.

"How many times?" The question slipped out before he could stop it.

If Camille had been paying closer attention, she would have noticed the almost eerie calm that had leveled his voice. Instead, she shook her head, "Too many."

Another sip from her glass, "He sent her to the hospital Friday night. Two broken ribs and a concussion. I had been with her all night, and I just couldn't go back to our dorm, so I wandered. I wandered and before I knew it, I was inside the campus bar and there he was... Scamming on a freshman. Both of them laughing at some stupid funny joke he had said, as if it were just another Saturday. As if he hadn't just pulverized his girlfriend and left her to rot in a hospital as if he hadn't been getting away with much of the same for months. I was so incredibly angry and all I wanted was to make him stop."

Warm skin brushed across hers and she glanced down to see he had cradled her hand. She was trembling. It was so faint, but the box that she had been stowing all her wildly out of control emotion into had been pried open with his question.

His fingers curled into her palm like an anchor into the seabed and she smiled bitterly, "Still think you received a good show?"

It took Klaus a second to remember his words from that night, but he didn't scowl.

No.

His smile was tinged with undue pride and awe, "I think you just made it even better. I had initially thought you to be some hellcat. Sent into a jealous rage at capturing your boyfriend cheating. The truth is far more satisfying. You're a protector. If anything, I stand by my earlier sentiment. Do not regret your actions, Camille."

She blinked at hearing her full name cross his lips, most assumed her name was Cameron when she introduced herself as Cami, "My name, how...?"

Klaus smirked, "Camille O'Connell, you are under arrest."

His voice was flat with an American intonation, but what part of America she was unsure as his little gimmick threw her from her despair into a baffled disquiet.

Slowly she cringed, "Okay, one – don't ever do that accent again. Just... no. Two – no one calls me, Camille, unless I'm in trouble. It's a grandma's name."

Klaus bit back a laugh as he pressed with his fake accent again, "What? You mean this voice? I think it's uh, rather convincing."

Camille shivered; it was almost like nails on a chalkboard when he spoke like that, but the tension her little story had engendered dissipated, and she felt a coil within her loosen.

She couldn't stop her snicker as she begged, "Stop, please. It's just not right. It doesn't fit you at all. Smarmy Brit is much more your style."

"Smarmy Brit?" Klause threw back almost indignantly, "You wound me, Camille."

"Somehow I think that's hard to do." She countered sagely, but she couldn't keep a grin from her mien. She appreciated his levity.

Klaus arched a brow, "You'd be surprised. Sometimes it doesn't take much at all to wound me."

"Oh?"

"A beautiful woman maligning my character five minutes after meeting me. Stings a bit, love." He answered indulgently, but there was a mischievous glint in his gaze that belied his words.

Cami giggled quietly, "You don't think you're smarmy?"

"I prefer the word charming." The faux innocent look he flashed her had them both grinning, "And I believe it is your turn to ask a question."

There were several that had erupted in her thoughts as they had spoken, but it was hard to choose just one. Part of Cami was grateful that he had lobbed such a hardball as a first question because it gave her clearance to do the same.

"What are you running away from? You said you had some experience with it earlier." Cami finally asked, figuring it would also answer the question of what he was doing here. Two answers for the price of one.

Like with Cami, Klaus sat in a long silence as he thought over his answer. Now he was the one who wished he had placed restrictions on these questions, but unlike Camille, he had no compunctions about lying. After all, they were still strangers, and he was still debating whether to continue their acquaintanceship after they parted ways. He had half a mind to seduce her, drink her, and dump her... but the more time he spent with her the less he wanted to dump her – at least right away. Camille was proving to be very intriguing indeed.

"Family. I'm running from family." Klaus announced, surprising even himself with the truth, "More specifically my father... though my brother is currently a close second."

Camille frowned, not liking the shine of pain in his eyes before he shifted to something more blank, more superficial. Perhaps her question wasn't the gem she had originally thought it to be.

At her muted concern, Klaus smiled bitterly, "My father has no love for me. Even less after it was discovered I was a product of my mother's infidelity. He's been bent on making my life a misery for as long as I can remember. The more distance I can put between him and myself the better."

"And your brother?" Cami pressed almost reluctantly, at once curious and hesitant about requesting such personal information.

"Has a great love for me actually and I, him. But I've... upset him and he needs some time to calm down." It was the most tactful way that Klaus could think to say Elijah was furious with him for daggering their siblings and supposedly dumping their bodies into the ocean. While the first part was true, the second was not... and he was not prepared for his older brother to discover that fact just yet.

An odd mildly entertained expression crossed Camille's face as she puzzled over his words. More questions surged to the forefront, but with great control, she managed to restrain herself... at least for the moment.

Klaus seemed to sense her desire as he cocked his head to the side and grinned, or she was simply terrible at hiding her thoughts, "You want more details."

Almost embarrassingly, she sipped from her glass as she fought a sheepish smile, "I really do."

"And you called me nosey? Sorry, love, you're just going to have to wait." He taunted lightly as she scowled at him.

He was saved from her retort as her phone chose that moment to sound off. Her previous merriment dulled in the face of the device's alarm and fell further as she glanced at the screen. Klaus watched as she reluctantly clicked the phone silent after responding with a text and turned remorseful eyes to him. This would be their parting it seemed.

"Such a dour glance. My last question then, who's beckoning you?" Klaus asked gently, an unexpected jolt of jealousy scoured his veins at her answer.

"My boyfriend." She quirked her lips self-consciously. She had no obligation to inform him of her relationship status and their conversation while personal, had always meant to stay a conversation... at least on her end. Yet, she felt a strange sense of guilt – she felt like she had led him on, "I should be going. It was nice to meet you, Klaus... and thank you for the drink."

Klaus tightened his grip over her hand, both had forgotten he had still been holding it, but now it worked in his favor. He wasn't ready for their conversation to end, "Stay, Camille. By the look on your face, it's what you would rather be doing."

Timidly, she squeezed his hand back, but her rueful smile told him that he was fighting a losing battle. He was tempted to compel her... but somehow that felt like the wrong move for this particular moment.

"He's worried about me. Everyone's worried about me. Or angry. This was a nice reprieve. One I really needed, but I have to go before that worry goes to def-con four." She said almost deprecatingly and moved to stand.

Cami was surprised when he stood with her until she felt him slip her phone from her other hand. A word of protest played on her lips at the theft, but she stayed her tongue as she watched him deftly enter his phone number. It was slightly embarrassing that he had caught her passcode pattern so easily. He must have the eyes of a hawk. He hit the call button and his phone vibrated in his pocket for a moment before going silent again.

Klaus returned her phone with a genial smile, "There. Should you need another reprieve, simply call. I'll be in town for a while and more than happy to indulge you."

"That was bold." She murmured, "Giving your number to a girl who just told you, she has a boyfriend."

He shrugged indifferently, "Fortune favors the bold, does it not?"

Cami snorted and shook her head, "Goodbye, Klaus."

"Goodbye, Camille." Klaus murmured, brushing his lips to her cheek.

The act startled her and brought a lovely blush to her smooth skin. He had no intention of this being their last encounter. Camille O'Connell would see him again. His cerulean eyes danced deviously as he watched her turn to go.

She glanced at him over her shoulder, and he was surprised to see a puckish light in her sylvan gaze, "Definitely smarmy."

Klaus choked on an unexpected laugh before he found himself calling through the pub, "Charming, love."

______________________

Hours later, Klaus remained at the little corner table in the pub. He had steadily nursed several drinks as he kept an eye out for a potential dinner – finding himself feeling pickier than usual about his fare. He was tempted to send Camille a text. She had been reluctant enough to leave that enticing her to return shouldn't have been much of a battle. He regretted not pressing his advantage earlier. They could have spent the afternoon in his bed, sated in every possible way.

Sighing in boredom, he ran an idle finger around the rim of his tumbler generating a low hum. His thoughtless gesture brought a few curious and annoyed looks from the nearby patrons, but no one had the gall to say anything. Something dark and angry lingered in Klaus's stiff presence that discouraged social interaction of any kind.

"Well, you look positively morose."

And yet not all were so cowardly.

Klaus smirked at the amused lilt that sounded behind him. He arched a brow as he awarded the young woman behind him a small smile, "Greta... you've arrived sooner than I expected. Fruitful day, love?"

"Yes and no." Greta answered loftily as she came to stand next to the table, "The witch we're looking for is proving rather difficult to scrounge up, though her boyfriend has been the source of a lot of gossip but..."

"But?" Klaus intoned softly, a dangerous edge tinging his voice. His mood for games had dissipated with the sun.

"He's in the hospital. Unconscious, someone caved his head in apparently. He would need some of your blood to be revived enough to get any information from him." She smirked, knowing how much Klaus loved to do such things, "That is if you're feeling generous."

Niklaus frowned; it would be too convenient... "What's the boyfriend's name?"

"Scott Nebroski." Greta answered simply with a raised brow.

The name had no meaning to Klaus. Camille hadn't mentioned any names when she had recounted her motives to him – and he didn't recall a name being spoken when the paramedics had arrived at the campus pub. Though to be fair, he had lost interest in the whole affair once Camille had been taken to the squad car.

Her fiery emeralds would forever be etched into his memory. There had been a moment where he had thought that she'd break from the officer's grasp and swing at him before something fragile... vulnerable had crossed her gaze and he had to fight the urge to go to her.

It had been an odd night.

"When was he attacked?"

Greta shrugged, "A couple of nights ago, I think. Some chick took a beer bottle to him. A lover's quarrel is the rumor. In which case, it should make him more willing to cooperate with us. He'd probably be looking for a little revenge."

A slow grin spread across Klaus's face – what were the odds?

"It wasn't our little witch who tore into him, love." Klaus murmured, "How long would we need to wait before you could conduct the ceremony?"

"The estival solstice isn't for almost eight weeks, that's when the spell will be at its strongest. We have some time." Greta replied softly as she watched the wheels spin in her master's head. She hadn't expected him to take the news of this current delay so well... but the calm, almost pleased smile playing at his lips spoke to plans with which she had no knowledge of, "The boyfriend?"

"He can enjoy his stay in the hospital for a while." Klaus said after a long moment. He refused to heal the cretin that had rightfully earned his beating at Camille's hands. He would not deny her victory, "Tomorrow I want you and Maddox to find out everything you can about Camille O'Connell. She's Marnie Taylor's roommate and friend... she'll lead us to our little witch."

Gently, Klaus reached out for Greta's hand, bringing her delicate fingers to his mouth as he pressed a kiss to her smooth flesh. He was feeling a tad grateful for the news she had delivered him, and she smelled sweet, like honeysuckle and ivy. His fangs edged at the inner muscle of his cheek, reinforcing his hunger... but he wouldn't bite her here.

Klaus stood and placed a few bills on the table, "Keep me company tonight."

It sounded like a request, but Greta heard the implied order to his tone. She could say no, and Klaus wouldn't bat an eye. She was under no illusion that she was more than a tool in his arsenal. Problem was, she had never been able to say no to him. Not to his power, not to his hunger, and not to his bed. She fully enjoyed being possessed by him. It was the shame that she could not possess him.

She peered slyly at him, "Merely company?"

An indulgent hum purred from Klaus's throat before he pressed his lips teasingly to the corner of her mouth, "You could never be merely anything, love... but I desire this luscious mouth of yours to be otherwise occupied."

Greta's smile turned sinful, "As you wish."

He breathed a kiss to her neck before turning to escort her upstairs. His soul ached for a taste of the hunt... something that Greta could not provide him – she was all too willing to fall into his clutches. She was decadence, chocolate, and champagne. Simply divine.

For tonight she would sate his baser urges, but tomorrow...

Tomorrow he would go after that which was not yet his. Fiery emeralds glinted in his mind's eye. Tomorrow, he would go after whiskey and smoke. Hidden passion.

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[alexalblondo]

I feel really bad for Alex, it's pretty much confirmed he's not got a seat next year and no one even cares. I'm so upset about it. I understand he hasn't had the best year, but he still deserves better. It must be so difficult to watch everyone critique you, never support you and now essentially rub in your face that someone else is getting your seat. Everyone was so outraged for Seb and Checo but with Alex it's a completely different story. I love Alex and he was the first Thai driver I've ever seen, it just made me feel really seen and now it's all over.

Omg, yes, friend, to all of this!

I mean, I’m not thai but I understand how much the representation matters!

Anyways, this is gonna get long cause I have thoughts, so buckle up!

Alex is only in his 2nd season. And his first season was really good, especially considering how much he was dropped into it not just once but twice! And then he dropped a little in this season and EVERYONE just jumped onto his throat and even when he does well IT’S NEVER WELL ENOUGH!!!

Look at Mugello, what was everyone’s main takeaway? Oh, if Alex got on the podium - imagine what Max could have done!

In Turkey he was amazing and could have won but does anyone care? No, because RedBull pitted him too late and he dropped down because of it. If that had happened with any other driver we’d still hear it mentioned at every turn but with Alex it’s just brushed over

On Saturday RedBull messed up quali and then on Sunday he had contact in the first lap and, as both Max and Alex and Horner predicted, they struggled with downforce and Alex had a fairly weird tyre strategy (I think it was cause he didn’t get along well with the hards?) and then got stuck behind Daniil and Daniel, both in cars much better suited for the circuit, but he still went from P12 to P6 and he had some brilliant overtakes but do we hear anyone talking about it?

No, because Checo went from last to first, so Checo did better and should get his seat

Like, this is in no way against Checo cause he is of a form this season and I am so sad for him how everything turned out but god, I am so sick and tired of people only ever talking about Alex in comparison to someone else - cause before it was Checo it was Pierre who he was always compared to

And I think it’s disrespectful to both Alex AND Checo to make every achievement about the other (Like, most of the congratulation posts for Checo included a line about how he should get the RBR seat and just?)

Also something I wanna point out: 

Carlos has had 2 DNFs and one DNS this season. Lando has had one DNF. Carlos is still 10 points ahead of Lando. But you don’t hear people constantly talking about Lando being unable to keep up with his teammate (I mean that could be cause german media cause the only thing about McLaren Sky Germany cares about is Andi Seidl, which is a mood, tbh).

Esteban, okay, he’s had a shit ton of DNFs, but he’s also been outqualified by Daniel in all but one race and he only has half the points Daniel has and while I have seen people say he needs to get better ... no one has been saying: REPLACE HIM! 

Like, I get it! Checo is doing amazing and he should have a seat on the grid but so should Callum and so should Romain and Kevin even and this sport isn’t fair and we’re at a point where no matter what Alex does it will never be enough because people have made up their mind and slowly I’m actually wanting for him to lose his seat just for people to shut up cause clearly what he does will never be enough

He could win in Abu Dhabi and people will still find a way to criticise him. Cause Max would have won the race faster. And Checo would have had more struggle to overcome. And he’s in the 2nd best car on the grid so obviously he should be winning, right?

Nevermind that the midfield battle is closer than it has been in years and both Alex AND Max have pointed out several times how temperamental the car is and never mind that Alex didn’t have the same car for most of the season and never mind THAT THIS IS ONLY HIS SECOND SEASON because despite Max supposedly being a generational talent who according to a lot of people is the fastest driver on the grid right now and has 5 seasons of experience and also has had way more time to get used to the temperamental Newey cars - somehow Alex is supposed to keep up with him

I’d be happy for Checo is he gets to stay in F1, really, but I wish everyone would stop turning every single one of his achievements into criticism of Alex and I wish people would stop being so gleefully happy about Alex losing his seat

And now, I’ll stop cause I might cry otherwise, I just ... I’m so upset cause everyone is always defending every driver around here and we have a million posts on every little thing and how amazing they are but if one tries the same with Alex they are immediatelly delusional and dumb and also Checo deserves the seat way more, right? Right!

Urgh, I’m so mad when really, I just came here to make shitposts and memes

[itsadamcole]

graduation day pt.2

fem!reader x finn balor

It’s been two months since reader graduated college. Her and Finn’s new relationship is going strong. She’s applied for a position as teacher’s assistant at the college she graduated from so she has a reason to continue living nearby to be with Finn. The two decide to keep their relationship on the down low since he is her former professor. She finds out that it’s not easy to keep a relationship on the down low, especially when she finds out the teacher she is assisting is the woman that has had a thing for Finn for the longest time .... “you are so fucking hot when you’re jealous”

word count: 3.6k+

warnings: a former teacher/former student relationship, angst, smut

— here’s part 2 of “graduation day” that probably no one wanted. enjoy —

masterlist || part 1 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 ||request an imagine here

~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~

You’re getting ready for your first day of work when your phone begins to ring. You see that “finn ♡” has popped up. You answer right away.

“Look who it is,” you say, smiling as you brush out your Y/H/C hair before tying the natural waves up in a high ponytail. “I was just thinking about you.”

Your new boyfriend laughs over the phone and says, “I can only imagine what was goin’ through that pretty little head of yours. Anyway, have ya found out who ya are assigned to assist?”

As Finn talks through the phone, you put on your outfit for the day. When he’s done speaking, you say, “Not yet. I report to the English department head.” I did request to be put in the English department so there’s more of a chance that I’ll be put with you.”

The outfit you’re wearing today consists of a simple short sleeved black dress with converse black and white sneakers.

Finn says, “Well, stop my my office when ya get assigned. Maybe I can tell ya a little about the teacher ya were assigned to so ya know what to expect.”

You add some light makeup to your look as you say, “I will. I have to get to the school so I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Alright,” Finn says. “See ya in a bit.”

The two of you say your goodbyes. You gather your things, including phone, wallet, and little backpack in case you’re assigned to grade something.

It’s 7:30 in the morning. You woke up an hour ago to shower and get dressed. You don’t have to be at school until eight but you want to grab coffee from Dunkin.

You get into your car, throwing your things in the back.

The past two months have been anything but ordinary for you. Since graduation day, you and Finn have been attached at the hip. You're always at his place or he's over at yours. The new relationship between the two of you has needed some getting used to.

He convinced you to stay nearby by getting a job as teacher's assistant. You're getting paid a decent amount too because it's a private college. It was this or go home to New York, which would be over a thousand miles away. You were not interested in leaving Finn this soon. So you applied for the job.

Once you got hired, Finn told you that he wanted to keep the new romance between the two of you a secret. You immediately agreed. Finn's well known among the teachers and students and you had some friends in the grade below you. It wouldn't look good if it came out that you and Finn were in a relationship.

He's your former professor. You're his former student. You only graduated almost three months ago.

There's also an almost seventeen year age difference between you and Finn. You turn 23 in a few months and Finn is 39. Neither you or Finn care about the age gap. It just wouldn't look very good for either of you if the relationship between the two of you was public.

You think about the past two almost three months in the short ride to Dunkin. You go through drive-thru to get your coffee and two donuts.

A medium mocha iced coffee with some cream, sugar, and some extra mocha to make it a little more sweet. You get two glazed donuts to eat on the way to school.

You and Finn both embraced the change of relationship. You went from teacher and student to lovers. Some would find it weird, especially with the age gap, but it never bothered you or him. Finn definitely still moves like he’s in his 20s and not about to hit is 40s.

When you arrive at school, you remember the last time you were here. You pulled up almost three months ago to confess your feelings to your teacher before proceeding to sleep with him in his office. It was the best sex of your life. The few times you've had sex since have been good, but nothing compared to what happened in the office on graduation day.

You pull into a spot in the teacher's parking lot. You park in the back of the lot. Once parked, you reach back and grab your things out of the backseat before getting out of the car. You secure the backpack on your shoulders before walking toward the English building, half drank iced coffee in hand.

The campus has teachers and students roaming around. It's almost eight in the morning. You're sure a few classes have begun by now.

You take the elevator to the fourth floor, walking down the hallway. You pass Finn's office, which is only a few doors down from the head of the English department.

Once you're outside the department head's door, you knock four times then wait.

An older man, probably late 50s or early 60s, answers the door. He's dressed very professional.

"Ah, Miss L/N," he says. "I've been expecting you. Please, come in."

You give him a kind smile before walking into the larger office. You're not surprised it's a big office. He is the department head.

The name plate on his door said "Dr. Dennis Hart PhD. Head of English Department". You sit across from Dr. Hart at his desk.

Dr. Hart says, "It's always wonderful to see former students getting a job here at the school. You did phenomenal in your English classes over the last four years so this department is lucky to have you."

You give a little laugh and say, "I'm just giving back to the school that gave me an amazing college experience. It's good to be back."

The older man smiles and says, "Now. The teacher I've assigned you to is Miss Veronica Rodriguez. She's a wonderful teacher and has been teaching here for five years. She teaches 407 English to seniors and her classroom is right below us, next to Mr. Balor's classroom. I saw you had him last year for English."

You nod and say, "I did. How is Mr. Balor? He was one of my favorite teachers and I never got to say goodbye and thank you to him."

When you and Finn agreed to keep your relationship on the down low, you both also agreed to act like you haven't seen each other since graduation day to throw off any suspicions.

Dr. Hart says, "He's been good. Very excited to be coming back for his tenth year of teaching."

"Ten years, wow," you say, almost shocked. Almost. "That's a long time. I didn't even think he was old enough to be teaching ten years."

The older gentlemen laughs and says, "He's older than you probably thought. Alright, class begins in about fifteen minutes so head on down and introduce yourself to Miss Rodriguez before class begins."

You nod and thank Dr. Hart before leaving the room. You walk down the hallway, checking to make sure no one is behind you before you slip into Finn's now open office. He sits at his desk.

"Hey," Finn says, facial expression brightening when he sees you. "How'd it go? Who ya assisting for the semester?"

You sit across from Finn at his desk and say, "Veronica Rodriguez. You know anything about her?"

Finn blinks at you before he says, "She's been up my butt for years. She's had a thing for me since she started teaching here and it's not a secret either. It's also not a secret that I've been rejecting her over and over again. She's a good teacher. She just needs to leave me alone."

You raise your eyebrows and say, "Wow. Well, don't worry. I'll do everything I can to keep her away from you."

He smiles and you look at the time. Ten minutes before class. You stand up and say, "Well, I've got to go to class. Are we meeting up for lunch here?"

Finn nods and says, "Of course. I'll see ya then."

You smile and lean over the desk, pressing a very light kiss to Finn's lips before leaving the room.

You head downstairs, walking to the classroom.

When you reach your destination, you knock on the door before opening it.

Miss Rodriguez is a younger woman. She's probably early or mid 30s and she's beautiful.

She looks at you and says, "You must be Y/N L/N. Dennis told me I'd be getting a teacher's assistant this semester and he told me you were a former student."

You nod and say, "That's me, and yes I am. I graduated in May." It's now mid-August.

Miss Rodriguez says, "Well, it's nice to meet you. You can call me Veronica or Ver, whichever you like. You don't need to be formal with me since we're co-workers."

You give her a nice smile. She seems like a very nice person. She tells you the schedule of her classes. Two classes on Monday and Thursdays. One class on Tuesdays, three on Wednesdays, none on Friday, and a late night class on Saturday. The only very early classes are on Monday and Thursday at 8:20 in the morning.

As students start trickling in, Veronica says, "I teach seniors who aren't very awake this early. This can be a little tricky sometimes but you'll get the hang of it. When I'm out sick or visiting family, I'd like you to come in and just assign some work then you can dismiss the class."

You nod.

Right as Veronica begins class, you look over at the doorway to see Finn standing there. You try not to have a reaction as Veronica notices. "Mr. Balor," she says. "Nice to see you. How was your summer?"

Finn says, "Eventful." You have to cover your smile. "How was your summer, Ver."

"A little less eventful," she says. "I stayed in most of the time, reading books. Um, why didn't you return my calls?"

You raise your eyebrows a bit and Finn glances at you before he says, "Like I said, my summer was very eventful. I apologize."

Veronica says, "Well maybe we can just skip over the phone calls and you can take me out to dinner."

Jealousy hits you like a truck. You want to say something but you know you can't. All you can do is bite your lip to stay quiet.

Finn gives a breathy laugh and he says, "After class we'll talk. Oh, and Y/N?" You look at him. "Nice to see that ya keep gnawing on that lip of yours. I'd stop doing that before ya cut it open."

He said that to you on graduation day. Your face heats up a little bit and let your lip snap back into place.

The door to the classroom closes and class begins.

***

After class ends, you make your way up to Finn's office. He's still in class so you sit in the spiny chair behind his desk.

Several minutes pass before you hear his voice outside. Not only his voice but Veronica's too. You hide under Finn's desk as the two walk into the room.

"... didn't tell me no in front of my students," Veronica is saying. "I'm thankful for that."

Finn says, "I've told ya no many times. I'm not interested in ya, Ver. You're a nice woman, and I'd even say attractive, but I'm not interested."

Veronica is quiet before she says, "Is it because of a wife? Or a girlfriend? Because I don't care about that, Finny. You know this"

"Get out of my office, Ver," Finn sighs, clearly annoyed. "Now."

You hear someone leave and peek out to see only Finn in the room. He looks over and sees you peeking out from over the desk.

He says, "Ya can come out, Y/N."

Slowly, you make your way out from under the desk and walk up to Finn. "I don't like how she can openly flirt with you," you say, pouting.

Finn's hands intertwine with yours and he says, "I'm all yours, my princess."

You pout some more and say, "It's not fair, Finn."

He says, "Relax, Y/N. I have no interest in her whatsoever. It's only you." He presses light kisses to your cheek and you look at Finn. His light kisses make their way to your neck, making you sigh.

"We are not doing this in your office again," you gasp as Finn grips your thighs right under your butt.

He smiles against your neck and says, “I never said we would, love.”

You giggle and say, “Come by my place when you get off work and we can do that there.”

Finn says, “I’ll definitely be there at four then.” You smile and nod before pecking his lips.

“I should head down to the classroom to make sure everything’s okay,” you say. “I’ll come back at lunch.”

He nods and says, “I’ll see ya in a few hours. Maybe I’ll come check on ya to make sure ya are okay.”

You smile and say, “If you hear yelling coming from my classroom then you should come running because I might be about to kill Veronica.”

Finn laughs and says, “Don’t kill her, Y/N. Please.”

You peck Finn’s lips before leaving the classroom.

Veronica dumps a little work for you to do. Just to make sure that everyone did the in-class assignment and to mark people who didn’t.

Noon hits and you go to the cafeteria to grab your lunch. You are in line when someone comes up behind you. You glance behind you to see Finn.

“Y/N,” he says. “Good to see ya again. How was your summer?”

You nod and say, “Good. Very eventful. How was yours, Mr. Balor?”

Finn says, “Also eventful. How about ya come by my office and have lunch with me so we can catch up?”

As you grab your lunch, you nod and say, “That sounds good.”

Finn laughs softly as the two of you grab your lunch. You pay and Finn pays before the two of you head to the office.

You walk into the office and Finn closes the door behind you. You sigh and sit at Finn’s desk. You begin to eat and Finn says, “I can’t wait for this day to be over.”

“I agree,” you say, swallowing the bite of your veggie burger.

The door opens and Veronica walks in. She says, “We usually have lunch together, Finny.” She sounds like a child and it annoys you.

Finn has a look on his face and he says, “We had lunch together one time, Ver.”

Veronica says, “It’s a little inappropriate to have lunch with a former student.”

“We’re catching up,” Finn says. “And she works in the department now. She’s a co-worker now.”

You look back at Veronica and you say, “You know what’s actually inappropriate? Begging someone to go out with you when said someone isn’t interested.”

Finn’s eyes widen and Veronica says, “Excuse me. That’s no way to speak to me. I can have your job.”

You smirk and say, “Go ahead. Try to take my job, but imagine what would happen if I went to your superior and told them that you harass Mr. Balor here.”

Veronica says, “Dr. Hart spoke so highly of you and you are not what I expected.”

“Yeah, well, I can tell that Mr. Balor is tired of your shit and he’s too nice to say anything about it so I will,” you say, turning in your seat to face Veronica. “I’m telling you now because he won’t. Back off of him.”

She looks taken aback by my comment. Her jaw is almost to the floor and Finn’s hiding a smile behind his hands.

Veronica says, “Keep speaking to me in that matter and I’ll make your life hell for the semester.”

A comeback immediately comes into your head as you say, “It’s already hell because I’m assigned to you.”

Veronica has a pissed off look on her face and she says, “Whatever.” She leaves the office and you look at Finn. He’s looking right at you.

“Ya are so fucking hot when you’re jealous and telling someone off,” he says.

You giggle and say, “Relax Finny Boy. A few more hours then you can do whatever you want to me.”

“Oh, I plan on doing whatever I want to ya,” he says, smirking at me.

***

You get back to your apartment at 3:30. Finn won’t be here for a half hour so you decide to get into something a little sexier than this plain black dress.

You put on a white lacy bodysuit. The whole thing is a little bit see through and the neck dips down low, exposing your cleavage. You keep your hair up and lay across the bed, laying on your side and facing the door.

Finn has a key. You gave him the extra key you had so he can walk into the apartment whenever he wants to. He’s only scared you once and he learned his lesson.

At four on the dot, the front door to your apartment opens and you hear Finn call, “Y/N?”

“Bedroom,” you call back.

The door is open and several seconds later, Finn appears in the doorway. His neatly tied tie now hangs draped over his neck and the first few buttons on his shirt are now unbuttoned.

His eyes darken with lust when he sees what you’re wearing.

“Like something you see, Finn?” you tease.

He nods and he keeps staring at you. You get off the bed and you walk up to Finn.

You hook your fingers in the belt hooks of Finn’s pants and look up at him. You say, “You’re mine, Finn. All mine.”

Finn echos, “All yours, my love.”

You smirk and say, “Good. Now fuck me until I can’t walk.”

That’s all Finn needs to hear before he picks you up by your thighs and walks you over to the bed. His lips are on your neck as he walks over to your bed. You gasp and giggle.

He drops you on your back on the bed and kicks off his shoes while starting to unbutton his pants.

You bite your lip gently as Finn undresses himself in front of you. Your eyes trace every muscle on his body.

Finn’s down to his boxers when he crawls on top of you, hovering over you between your legs. His lips crash to yours and they move harshly. You move your hips so your crotch rubs against Finn’s bulge. He lets out a low groan into the kiss then pins your hips to the bed. “I don’t think so, love,” he says, pulling away from the rough kiss. Ya told me to fuck ya until ya can’t walk so no teasing.”

You pout as Finn gets on his knees between your legs. His fingers hook onto the straps of your lingerie and he pulls the piece down until your naked as the day you were born.

Finn smirks as he admires your body. His hands roam a bit and you smile, watching his hands. They dip below your waist and his fingers run through your folds. You gasp as Finn pushes two fingers into you.

“Oh, Finn,” you sigh. He moves his fingers hard into you, scissoring you open. Your gasps and moans fill the room. You grab onto the silky bedsheets.

Finn move his fingers in and out of you roughly and quickly for a few moments before he pulls them out. You whine and look at Finn.

“Patience, my love,” he says, pulling off his boxers so his erect member is free. You reach out for it and Finn pins your wrists to the bed.

Finn leans down and says in your ear, “Tonight’s about ya, love. I’m gonna make sure ya know that I belong to ya and ya only.”

As soon as he’s done talking, he pushes himself into you. You moan softly and you put your hand on Finn’s biceps. As he begins to thrust into you, you dig your fingers into Finn’s arm.

Finn’s hands are on either side of your head, propping himself up. Your legs are wrapped securely around Finn’s waist as he moves hard and deep into you. His forehead rests on yours.

He moves roughly but almost in a careful way. He’s never moved like this before.

You slide your hands to Finn’s cheeks as he moves. You kiss his lips slowly, moaning as his thrusts get faster.

After a second, you roll and straddle Finn’s waist. You lower yourself onto his member and move your hips. His hands are on your waist, helping you move your hips.

“I’m yours,” Finn moans. “All yours, Y/N.”

You echo, “All mine.” You ride Finn like you never have before. You move like he moved. Roughly but carefully.

Finn sighs, “Come with me, princess.”

You nod and Finn counts down from three. Both of you come together, like the first time the two of you had sex in Finn’s office. You moan and cry out as you release around Finn. He groans as he releases his seed into you.

You roll off Finn and lay beside Finn.

As you both lay on the bed beside each other, you say, “That felt different but a good different.”

He laughs softly and says, “It did. It felt really good. I loved it.”

“And I love you,” you suddenly blurt out. You quickly cover your mouth and look at Finn.

The Irishman smiles and he leans over, kissing your neck softly. He mumbles by your ear, “I love ya too.”

[reading-hub]

Bakugou/shy reader - Studying

Contains: smut, bl*w jobs, face f*cking

- - - - - - -

A study partner? Aizawa explained to them that last week's test was bombed significantly by almost a large portion of the class. Now guilt silence consumed class 1-A. [f/n] was nervous-no she was panicking! She wondered if she failed with the rest as well... Her worries were getting the best of her as they pilled on. Would she have to get one? If so, would she have to pick her own partner? And if not, she just hopes she's not paired up with Bakugou. It's not that she hated him. She's just never had the chance to have a full-on conversation with the explosion boy. The only closest thing she ever had a conversation was him walking past her in the hallway. Not to mention her huge crush on him----WHAT?! who said that!

As for Bakugou take on this AND the smartest guy the class, he was pissed that he had to face the consequences along with everyone else, it wasn't his fault that so many people failed this ONE test. Not that it mattered. Aizawa furthered explained that it didn't matter if you were proficient in last week's test. They would be assigned partners as well. It would only be fair if everyone is assigned one, proficient or not. Ok, now Bakugous' blood was definitely at boiling point.

Aizawa paired these study partners carefully. He didn't want anyone to get distracted by a friend they would know too well-so no Kirishima. Nor could it be anyone that they would despise too much into not studying with at all-stupid Deku...

[F/n] was relieved, but she was still worried about whom she assigned to. As for Bakugou, he just wanted a partner that won't irritate him...

Skip to Saturday, and here you were standing in front of Bakugou's dorm room. You couldn't believe it! You secretly thought that this was all turning into a dream of yours. It was all falling too well into place...

Before you could knock, the door opened immediately, making you stand frozen and eyes wide like a deer in front of headlights. Bakugou stood there, sweatpants and a black tank top that was showing all of his jacked arms that he worked hard to become a hero.

The sight was too much to handle! You could faint right now!

"Hey, idiot." You blinked in response, bringing you back to reality. "Let's just get this study over with so I can do something worth my time." He left the door open for you to come in. You fumbled as you walked in, closing the door behind you, not wanting to make him anymore annoyed than he already was.

You turned around to see Bakugou sitting on the floor, his textbook and needed materials on the floor with him, you plopped yourself on the floor to join him after. You took this time to look around his dorm room. Which was surprisingly clean and organized. Was it always like this or did he tidy up knowing you were coming over?

An hour passed, this alone time together has made you fallen more in love with Bakugou than ever before. Something about him was to be admired for, in your eyes at least. It was possible you loved him simply because he was everything you weren't.

The things he did during the last two years of him at UA was a lifetime achievement for you. You never one to get out of your comfort zone so easily, the thought of you ever hurting someone on any level of emotional or physical would haunt you till your death, and when comparing quirks: he's got it all in the bag.

Not to mention how built he was...oh no. Your dirty mind was getting the better of you now.

"Hey, I'm done with my side of the study." He spoke. And that voice of his too! How rough and dominant it sounded to you. The things he'd demand from you during a passionate night, and you happily oblige him with no question after. The thought made you bite your lip in excitement...

You notice you were taking a while to answer back. "U-uh yeah, so am I..." Ugh, he probably thinks your stupid for answering him like that.

Little did you know, as you were distracted from your thoughts, you didn't see that Bakugou was eyeing you up and down, heck, he's been eyeing you the whole study session! Damn him for being too smart to study at all!

"How come you're so nervous all the damn time?" He bluntly said to you. You looked up at him, shocked. "I, uh..." Was he asking about you? Well, better not keep him waiting.

"It's just how I am." You said clear. "B-besides, not everybody can say that their study partner is Katsuki Bakugou." You looked down in embarrassment. All Bakugou could at that moment was smirk ever so deviously. An idea popped in his head at that moment, an idea that he sure as hell knew that you wouldn't mind making happen for him.

He just needed to egg you on a little further.

Without noticing, Bakugou moved inches closer to where you were sitting. "So you think I'll become a hero?" He asked, a little too sinister. You looked at him with wide eyes, you were too innocent for your own good. "Of course, Bakugou, I think you would be a great hero." You exclaimed.

He had you right where he wanted you. "Anything more than that?"

"Wha-what do you mean..?" Confused, just what exactly was he asking from you? "Ever saw me more than just a hero," He continued "perhaps maybe, the thought of me had your all panties soaked." How did he..?

Before you could fully understand, you felt a hand caress your own. It felt like your hand was getting a deep tissue massage, and Bakugou was providing it. Did he--?

"I've seen the way you avoided me." His tone was deep but it wasn't anger, maybe lust. "I thought it was because you were another extra who was weak-willed,"

"But then I notice how you easily it was to make your cheeks turn red, especially around me." You just didn't want this to end, it was plucked straight out of a fairy tale in your eyes. "So it wasn't out of fear, huh?" You shook your head. "It was something else?" He asked after that. You nodded vigorously.

You then felt something wet and warm around your neck. You gasped in shocked, only to realize you were too deep in Bakugou's words, that he's been getting closer and closer to you, to the point where he's licking and sucking your neck as we speak.

Meanwhile, you couldn't believe this was happening! It had to be a dream? Right??

His mouth hovered over your neck, leaving behind a little hickey he planted on you. "You want this, don't you?" He prodded. "Y-yes! Yes, I do, Bakugou!" You said, already in need of him.

He kissed you, roughly. His hands gripping the back of your hair from all the intensity that's happening right now in this room! Your hands also wandering around his shoulders and finally his chest. Lips still colliding with one another, Bakugou must have known you weren't exactly the most experienced, so tongue was out of the question, for now.

You both stopped, trying to breathe in any oxygen that escaped from both of you during that kiss. His body was on top of you, you underneath him like prey, and he was ready to eat you up...

Without any reaction, your body suddenly decided to do all the talking right now. Next thing you know, you're lifting your hips up and down, grinding on him. You both looked down, noticing that his sweatpants were giving him away, at how he was feeling you grind him like that. The sweatpants outlined what was down there, and your imagination did the rest...

Bakugou was heavily breathing from all this and had another idea.

"On your knees." He demanded. You being the submissive minx deep down, you happily nodded and did exactly just that.

Now here you were. On your knees, Bakugou sitting on his bedside, trying to rub himself out right in front of you. To have a front seat to all of this, suddenly have a pool of your own fluids below your waist.

Without warning, his dick was touching your lips, and you were smiling in lust. "Your quite dirty arent you, little slut." His devilish smirk came back again. His tone desperate and in want. You hummed in delight as you kitty licked the head of his cock.

"Heh, then why don't you put your whole mouth into it, huh?" He held both his hands on each side of your head for support, slowly pushing in your mouth to meet his whole base for one second, only for him to quickly pull your head back so you wouldn't choke on it.

You gasped once more, licking your lips in response to taste the precum still on your lips. Bakugou watched you in desire, grinning like the Chesire Cat.

"I'm gonna mess you up, so bad, you'll never want anyone else's dick but mine, got it?" You nodded once more, he pushed your head back down. You were all about his needs right now, to hear his groans of pleasure, knowing that your the one making him do that.

He was cursing up a storm as your head bobbed up and down, showing no sign of stopping, every ounce of warmth and wetness in your mouth was getting every spot on his cock to be jolted with pleasure. His hand never leaving your head, gripping it once a while to show you whose cock you're sucking on.

Those tiny jolts of pleasure that you were giving were now rapidly increasing every second. He was so close to cumming. You noticed as well, as he was gripping on you tighter and tighter, bruising your shoulder in the process, you saw the pornos.

It was either the guy quickly lifted the girl's head off his cock to cum on her face or maybe Bakugou was gonna leave you still in your mouth, and cum inside your mouth.

Without warning, both his hands held your face close, making sure you didn't move. You then felt some sticky fluid run through inside your throat, you were getting nervous again as more and more kept coming through, you weren't sure if you were gonna drink all up.

You breathed through your nose in the hopes of helping, it did, sort of. However, before you thought it was done, some still landed on your cheek. Bakugou helped out by cleaning off the evidence with his thumb, putting said thumb in your mouth to have you lick it off, which you oblige.

He then hoisted you up from the floor and had you lay on his bed. Before you could protest, he stopped you by cupping your clothed pussy, which was dripping wet at this point. You felt your cheeks getting hot, Bakugou saw this, "You're still embarrassed after what just happened?" He smirked.

He lifted your skirt, fingering you through your panties. You had a feeling he wasn't done with you yet...

[punkscowardschampions]

Cosmo & Amber

Amber: [okay so the clerb was a whole mood ™ before his ⚽ mates make it awkward and she goes off with some other lad, but we wanna say anything happened between them before then or is it just a VIBE] Cosmo: [I say a VIBE] Amber: [if you wanted you could do your own #necklaceapology here unless you wanna say that already happened] Cosmo: [probably not now 'cos of the leaving with someone else element of it all, even though he deffo changed and blanked her basically, 'cos you know] Amber: [ah the joys] Cosmo: [fun times all 'round] Cosmo: get home safe? Amber: I will when he takes me home Amber: how are you feeling? Cosmo: fantastic Amber: 9 lives Cosmo: no need to compare numbers Amber: did you have a game today? Cosmo: friendly Amber: and was it? Cosmo: you wanna know if I got carded? Amber: and if you scored or helped someone else to Amber: I want to know everything that happened Cosmo: We lost Amber: and you don't want to talk about it or we can? Cosmo: we've had enough of an ear-bashing off the management but if you reckon you've got any suggestions feel free Amber: why do you think I'd be coming from a place of 😠? Cosmo: losing = bad Amber: not if it means you win next time Amber: everything's a learning experience when your dad's a teacher Cosmo: I was just off my game Cosmo: it's not going to happen again Amber: I do remember saying that maybe Saturday wasn't the best night to take my clubbing 🍒 Cosmo: you wanted to go, you got what you wanted Amber: do you want to talk about it? Cosmo: about what, exactly Amber: that dig which implies you didn't get what you wanted Cosmo: There's no dig, I lost, that's not what I wanted Cosmo: I don't need you coming in after the fact with an 'I told you so' Cosmo: you saw the rest of my team out, it's a weekly occurrence Amber: then don't put the blame onto me Cosmo: where'd I say that Amber: I wanted to go, it's my fault Cosmo: You didn't force me to take you Cosmo: you couldn't Amber: I know, so I don't appreciate the tone Cosmo: I'm so sorry Amber: I'm sorry you lost Cosmo: sure you are Amber: it's genuine, unlike yours Cosmo: I'm not apologising to you, what the fuck have I done but take you out Cosmo: and you clearly had a good time Amber: you could apologise for how you acted last night or how you are now Amber: but I won't wait for either Cosmo: I weren't acting Amber: not before your friends got there Amber: only after Cosmo: other way 'round Cosmo: that's who I am Amber: why did you invite me out if you don't want to be seen with me? Cosmo: it's not that Cosmo: I knew they weren't your people, you wouldn't have enjoyed hanging with them Amber: you don't get to make those kind of decisions for me Cosmo: I wasn't going to let them be dicks to you Amber: neither would I Amber: I can defend my own honour, thanks Cosmo: Well if I can, then I'm going to, simple as Cosmo: it didn't need to be a thing Amber: no, if you can keep me separate from them, you're going to Amber: that's what you mean Cosmo: I told you, you're not my type of person, I'm not yours Cosmo: that includes my friends Amber: you spelled out to me in great detail how I don't fit into your life the way it is, so why did you invite me out?! Amber: you made it into a thing Cosmo: you wanted to Amber: I wanted to, the way you said it would be, not THAT Cosmo: they usually go [different club] Amber: we could've left, I'd have gone to a different club with you Cosmo: wasn't my plan either Cosmo: you would? Amber: of course, I would've, I meant everything I said about not adding to the pressure that you're under Amber: but that doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy for you to smuggle me into dark corners like it's such a shameful secret that we're friends Amber: you don't get to treat me however you want because your life is hard Cosmo: I know it's fucked up Cosmo: and yeah, it saves me hassle, not going to deny it, but I don't wanna hear the shit they'd have to say about you, any more than I'd want you to hear it Amber: address it and you wouldn't have to hear it again, about any girl Amber: stop giving them a free pass to say things like that Cosmo: yeah, it's that easy Amber: It's not easy, nor is it easy being a girl getting treated like an object Cosmo: this is my career we're talking about Cosmo: I make their lives hard, they make mine hard for me right back Cosmo: I'd be off the team before I knew it Cosmo: it's not like they're rapists or anything crazy Amber: you've got better excuses than your brother, I'll give you that Cosmo: don't compare us Amber: why not? it's a variation of the same behaviour and I'm tired of it Cosmo: I'm fuck all like my brother Amber: at least you're sorry Cosmo: What's he done to you now? Amber: he hasn't done anything to me and this conversation isn't about him anyway Cosmo: Amber Cosmo: you can tell me Amber: you already know what he's like, I don't need to Cosmo: Sure, he's a little prick Cosmo: but why are you upset with him right now Amber: because there are girls there that are more vulnerable than me and the way you're acting like you need to stand up for me against your friends is what they need and aren't getting Amber: it was brought to my attention and I should've realised before Cosmo: what does that mean though Amber: I need to do something to help, I don't know Cosmo: you mean he's like hurt someone Amber: not physically, don't worry Cosmo: okay, good Cosmo: it sounded like you meant he'd like Cosmo: assaulted someone Amber: I'm sorry, no, it's not that Amber: like your friends, I'm sure he wouldn't Cosmo: don't girls have a whole code Cosmo: put the word out about him being whatever type of dick he's being, then you won't have to feel bad, it'll be on him and them Amber: I have Cosmo: there you go then Cosmo: they'll have the info to make their own decisions now Cosmo: opposed to whatever bullshit he might come out with Amber: I don't want to talk about Dash Cosmo: okay Amber: was your dad at your game? Cosmo: no, he was doing something with his girlfriend's family Cosmo: so I'll have to tell him now, that we lost Amber: how upset is he going to be? Cosmo: when he realizes why Cosmo: quite a bit Amber: you could lie, I won't sneak in through his window and tell him Cosmo: he'll see Cosmo: or talk to the managers Cosmo: I can maybe think of something that makes it sound better but he isn't big on excuses so Amber: they don't know why, do they? unless they were also at the club which is a bit hypocritical and strange Amber: but I was asking to see if you wanna do a meditation or something with me before you tell him Amber: this boy doesn't have a yoga mat, I could improvise though Cosmo: One of the lads practically sprayed the pitch Cosmo: weren't me but it's a sort of if one of us is in shit then we all are Cosmo: but no one else's dad will make 'em do extra training on top of the extra training Cosmo: it's fine, just not ideal Cosmo: I think you should leave, though Amber: why do you think I should leave? Cosmo: you don't even know who he is Amber: he's making brunch and I have manners Cosmo: if you had manners you wouldn't be using me for entertainment whilst you wait Amber: I'm not Amber: I'm making sure you're okay because I haven't seen or heard from you since last night happened the way it did Cosmo: You don't need to check up on me Cosmo: go enjoy your brunch Amber: you didn't need to either but you started this conversation to do exactly that Cosmo: I had no idea you were having brunch Amber: relax, 9, it isn't candlelit Amber: he's on his phone too Amber: just because I sleep outside doesn't mean I was born in a barn Cosmo: Does he know how old you are Amber: yes, I don't seduce men via deception Cosmo: how old is this man then Amber: 18, he's a boy really Cosmo: 🙄 Amber: what? Cosmo: bit weird on his part Amber: where did you meet all your stalkers and girlfriends? Cosmo: I've not gone out with an 18 year old Amber: you're behaving like I said 28 Amber: if I'd met him at school, it wouldn't even be an issue Cosmo: it'd still be weird Cosmo: you're a kid Amber: ⭐ Cosmo: Whatever Amber: it's not, stop trying to make me feel bad about this Cosmo: I'm not, I'm saying he's weird Amber: do you know him? Amber: because after your reluctance to let your friends anywhere near me, I don't think you're in any position to judge Cosmo: he's 18, you told him you were 15 Cosmo: speaks for itself Amber: boy, you're in the wrong career 👮 Amber: I'm fine thanks, officer Cosmo: 'cos sound lads can never get girls their own age Cosmo: it isn't my fault if you feel bad Amber: yes it is because last night is a weekly occurrence for you and it you know it wasn't for me Amber: so you don't get to tell me how I can or can't decide to make the best of something Cosmo: Then you should listen to me and go home Cosmo: for fuck's sake Amber: I can't walk home from here in this outfit, it's too far Amber: you think he's weird that'd be nothing on what I'd get from actual grown men if I do Cosmo: you can't make him give you money for a cab? Amber: I don't want to ask, because if he says no then you're right, and I don't want you to be right Cosmo: I'll ping you some now alright Cosmo: then we don't have to find out Amber: don't, I haven't got any way to pay you back Amber: you've spelled out your feelings about 🍏🍊🐓 Cosmo: would you rather chance it and get a lift back from someone you don't even want to ask about the taxi Cosmo: how else are you going to do it, don't be stupid Amber: 😠 okay Amber: but I'm staying angry at you Cosmo: do what you like, I don't care about the money or paying you to be nice Amber: what do you care about? I'll do something that'll benefit that Cosmo: just get home unmurdered, yeah Cosmo: that works for me Amber: are you home? I could make you brunch Cosmo: you just want two brunches Amber: yes, but I also want you to have one Cosmo: What are you going to make? Amber: after extensive research, a lot of footballers are vegan, are you? Cosmo: for the most part Cosmo: I eat fish sometimes Amber: oily fish is good for ⚽ that was part of the research and 🍣📸 is apparently part of the lifestyle Amber: but avocado toast with blueberry, banana and chia seed pancakes won't get me voted out of the commune Cosmo: alright nerd Cosmo: is he a footballer or what? Amber: no, he goes to some catholic school, I don't know it Cosmo: definite weirdo then Cosmo: nah, thanks though Cosmo: sounds good Amber: his parents house is pretty close to yours so don't ruin your appetite with snacks Cosmo: I don't eat snacks Cosmo: not even to piss you off Amber: never?! Amber: What about 🍏 🍎 🍐 🍊 🍋 🍌 🍉 🍇 🍓 🍈 🍒 🍑 🥭 🍍 🥥 🥝 ? Amber: or 🥜? Cosmo: if I was dying but nah Cosmo: little and often Amber: I'm relieved you're not dying Amber: it sounds like you and your friends partied harder than I did after we separated Cosmo: They did anyway Amber: you didn't? Cosmo: I never get as fucked up as them Amber: because you don't want to or because you're 💪🏽? Cosmo: I don't wanna be the one making us lose Cosmo: or losing my spot on the team Amber: it stops being fun Amber: if I make a decision I'd like to know that it wasn't my blood alcohol level that really did Cosmo: yeah Cosmo: think a lot of people do the opposite for the excuse Amber: not to side with your dad before I've even met him but I don't love excuses either Cosmo: it's a good rule, if a little tough Amber: I did think you were saying that was why you weren't as focused though Cosmo: can be, if you like Amber: but what's the answer? Cosmo: nosy Amber: secretive Cosmo: it doesn't matter does it Amber: it must matter to you if it's why you lost Amber: but it doesn't matter if you don't want to tell me, I'm still making brunch Amber: [show up and knock 9 times again gal] Cosmo: [shooketh lowkey like didn't think you were that close, also so many knocks, saying Indie is home so being over your shoulder like it's fine I know who it is as you open the door] Amber: [we know the vibe she's making herself at home immediately because she's that bitch, saying hi to his mum and asking her if she wants brunch too or just tea or coffee all the while in last night's extra af club lewk because awkwardness doesn't exist for her and we're getting in that kitchen and putting on music and dancing and cooking like we live here] Cosmo: [just introducing her because we're freaking out but then you're like, idk what to even say so you're calling her 'Dash's friend' which frankly makes this stranger though I guess explainable lol, lowkey not even looking at her because we cannot for all the reasons] Amber: [that hurt her heart because boy I'm literally making you brunch, we're friends, but we're not correcting that sentence, we're just chatting to his mum and doing all the things like he's lowkey not there] Cosmo: [oh boy, so lowkey rude truly on accident because you don't want the conversation I highly doubt your mum would start rn like OOOOOOOOH lol, gonna make your dad call you like he's found out so go outside and promise all the shit you're gonna do to stay on top] Amber: [Indie would never do you like that boy but we know where you're coming from and Amber isn't coming for your life rn either even if she doesn't understand because she literally tells her parents everything] Cosmo: [come in in a bit visibly more stressed even though you already were/always are, poor boy[ Amber: [at least the food would probably be ready by then because none of the things she was making would take that long and I assume his dad was going off for a while so she can just put the food in front of him] Cosmo: [look like ? as if you literally didn't compute she was really doing it until it's fully in front of you like oh 'thank you' also piss off now Indie/Billie sorry bye] Amber: [take your coffee and go gal before he has a breakdown please, the bae who isn't the bae needs to smile at him in a really genuine and adorable way because he remembered his manners] Cosmo: [smiling back but we're just distracted by all things so it's not as real as it can be though we trying 'what did you have for your first brunch?'] Amber: ['oatmeal' not said in a shady way but it's just reinforcing that the boy wasn't bringing his A game here] Cosmo: [just raising a brow and trying not to smile too smugly 'glad you put more effort in'] Amber: [😠 lowkey because he doesn't get to be smug like at least that boy made something he hasn't even made her a drink like excuse you 'I'm glad you like it'] Cosmo: [nudging her under the table with his foot like what] Amber: [a look like you know what] Cosmo: ['you want more oatmeal?' doing a bad mimic of her voice] Amber: [hitting him on the arm like stop, even if she has to lean across the table to do it] Cosmo: ['what?' well done for saying it] Amber: ['I like oatmeal more than you right now' because we're cross] Cosmo: ['hey' and reaching across the table to do the squeeze-of-the-hand-apology and then gesturing at her plate like let's just eat] Amber: [when he literally hasn't touched her before this so we're dying but eating like it's chill] Cosmo: ['this is a better way to do the footballer diet than I have been' for a compliment moment 'cos like everything we're being overly regimented duh] Amber: [leaves the pancake recipe in the chat for him because quick and easy tbh] Cosmo: 👍 Cosmo: [then doing it IRL like a nerd] Amber: 🤓 Amber: [but we're amused] Cosmo: that's you Cosmo: I'm evil, I remember Cosmo: [jokey 😒 'cos wants to be a Gryffindor 'good guy'] Amber: no, you're brave but not stupid Amber: [goes on a little slytherin pride style rant like this is how great you are] Cosmo: [just like 'say how you really feel about me' like it's all bants but listening to all her nerding out] Amber: ['I feel like you'd be a good friend to have' because we haven't forgotten what he said earlier] Cosmo: [penny dropping moment 'cos boys are that oblivious facts lol, shrugging like come on but clearly awkward 'what should I have said? after last night-' like are you even my friend now] Amber: ['You said what you were comfortable with' again not said in a shady way, just like yet again I'm not trying to make your life hard boy 'but after last night, if I were you, I'd want to pacify me'] Cosmo: ['how would you suggest I do that?' saucy saucy] Amber: ['I would suggest it comes from you, to be like, actually sincere'] Cosmo: [🤔 then being like hold up and go get that necklace honeyyy] Amber: [we're immediately putting that on even though it doesn't go with this outfit] Cosmo: [nodding our approval 'cos not risking saying anything rn] Amber: ['it's not a good luck charm, right?' like I'm not getting blamed if you lose again] Cosmo: [shakes his head 'if you start doing that kind of thing, can get a bit OCD, like'] Amber: [playing with this necklace casually 'maybe it will be for me' cos we're happy now that he's being nice] Cosmo: ['what do you need luck for?' actual question not being rude lol] Amber: ['next time you take me clubbing' we got bants] Cosmo: [just like alright, alright 'it was me who ended up having a shit night anyway'] Amber: [doing the hand squeeze apology back to him] Cosmo: [pulling away, not too dramatically 'cos not an ew moment, but clearly not her fault so like nah girl] Amber: [getting up to wash up because even though they've 100% got a dishwasher she wouldn't have ever lived anywhere that does cos hippie life so it wouldn't occur to her honestly] Cosmo: [finding a tea towel like I'll dry] Amber: [how coupley of you, love that, just grooving while we do this because of course] Cosmo: [gonna lowkey check you out 'you didn't do enough dancing...we'll have to go again, actually'] Amber: [just giving a horrified look like they're no such thing as enough dancing thank you but then loling 'we could do a friday night instead, if that works better for you'] Cosmo: ['alright' then pausing 'probably not for a while' 'cos we have all this extra training to do and people to appease so we gon' be busy] Amber: ['okay' genuine because she will wait and that's the tea, then I'm gonna take the bathtub moment from the OG convo we did because #mood and it actually works better now cos she does need to bathe lol so I'm saying she goes upstairs, making herself at home again obvs and calls 'bring me tea' over her shoulder as she goes like the queen she is] Cosmo: [it does work better and is needed so go ahead, though he is truly confused where she is going and why but like okay, pop off at this point] Amber: [excuse us Indie because you're assumedly still here lol] Cosmo: how do you take your tea Cosmo: we don't have green Amber: I don't like green tea, don't worry Amber: but I still take black tea that way, no milk Amber: what colour is your sugar? Cosmo: I think we might have some 🤎 in the baking shit if it's a dealbreaker Amber: if there is, I'll have some but it's not Amber: we run out of everything at home Cosmo: I'll be amazed if we have any left but 🤞🙏 Amber: at least you have hot water Cosmo: that's what you're doing Amber: 🛀🏽🧜🏽 Cosmo: don't get in yet Amber: why? Cosmo: your tea will get cold Amber: you're supposed to bring it to me, boy Cosmo: how am I meant to Cosmo: leave it at the door? Cosmo: close my eyes? Amber: I won't be able to reach it if you leave it there, and you don't need to be embarrassed Cosmo: I'm not embarrassed Amber: fine, neither of us will get accidentally scolded by hot tea that you're carrying around with your eyes closed then Cosmo: not clumsy, for one, do more research nerd Amber: oh, are you carrying it with your feet? I didn't realise, sorry Cosmo: you reckon all my skill is in my feet only? Amber: and your head, if footballers are still allowed to do that? Amber: but you're not a goalkeeper Cosmo: yeah, headers are valid Cosmo: rest assured, I can still get a full mug to you Amber: they are banned for children because the risk of brain damage is valid too, according to my research Amber: chronic traumatic encephalopathy Cosmo: big words Cosmo: all I know is rugby is rougher Cosmo: or I could be a boxer, so Amber: it also happens to boxers, I don't know about rugby players Cosmo: anything where you're getting bashed about the head too much Cosmo: most only do it when necessary but it's some people's 'thing' to assist or score rather than lose it in the scrabble of feet Amber: that makes sense, but we've digressed here away from the debate of how good you are, or aren't, with your hands Cosmo: what you mean is, we've digressed away from you getting your tea in a prompt manner Cosmo: diva Amber: yes and yes Cosmo: 😏 Cosmo: it's brewing Amber: thanks Cosmo: you can take back what you said about my lack of skills later, like Amber: if you have foraging skills for sugar, maybe I will Cosmo: see if you taste the difference Amber: now you're doubting my skills? I guess I deserve that Cosmo: your taste? Cosmo: happened last night tbh Amber: 😠 Cosmo: come on Cosmo: I could've said when we met Cosmo: I was being well nice Amber: if you'd said it when we met I'd have agreed with you Cosmo: I suppose anything's a step up Amber: the sex absolutely was Cosmo: thrilled for you Amber: there's still plenty left for you to make fun of him, and me, about Cosmo: I'd rather not Amber: I'd rather you didn't either but it hasn't stopped you so far Cosmo: just stop talking then Amber: talking to me like that isn't going to provoke me into giving you the silent treatment Cosmo: [just bring this tea up moodily] Amber: [taking it and saying thanks again as if you're just at the kitchen table or whatever instead of naked and chilling in this bath lol] Cosmo: [we are not looking and just shrugging like whatever idc] Amber: [splashing him obvs like stop being rude] Cosmo: [when you can't even be mad like your ma uses this bathroom 'cos clearly not so you're just scowling but not 👀 her] Amber: [just smelling everything that's on the side of this bath because you don't want to use anything that's Dash's] Cosmo: [doing our hair in the mirror as if we need] Amber: ['are you always like this when a girl wants to spend time with you?' do we mean rude or checking yourself out instead of her or both tbh] Cosmo: [big sigh and rubbing our temples 'you wanted a bath'] Amber: ['and you'd also rather I didn't do that?'] Cosmo: ['do you not think this is weird?'] Amber: ['You're making it bizarre now' because genuinely doesn't think it's weird obviously or she wouldn't do it] Cosmo: [scoffs like oh yeah, me] Amber: [splashing him bigger than before] Cosmo: [turning 'round like STOP but then you're just looking at her the most intense] Amber: [obviously looking back like please just say something or do something before we both die lol] Cosmo: [when you shake your head microscopically to say you can't 'cos you wanna so bad obvs] Amber: [when you're not even doing the pout for a pisstake it just happens naturally because likewise, soz for drawing even more attention to those lips like] Cosmo: [the noise you're barely holding back here 'you know we can't'] Amber: ['I know we could' because it would be so easy rn to let this happen and they both know it lbr and I can only imagine how her voice sounds rn, soz again] Cosmo: [shaking your head more vigorously to snap yourself outta it 'cos you must, and throwing a new towel down for her like there you go and making your exit] Amber: [doing such a cinematic and dramatic lay down in the water moment because ffs] Cosmo: [lord knows what you're gonna do with yourself boy] Amber: [she should literally leave right now immediately but we in this bath now so blatantly getting clean first, a lot quicker than she would of but still the idea makes me lol] Cosmo: [lmao, just glad you no doubt have a gym sesh or something now so get that frustration out but lord] Amber: [just gotta awkwardly leave here in that club lewk because we can't ask him for an outfit rn, oh gal] Cosmo: [ah the awks awks awks] Amber: [such fun, this is why I love you two, he cockblocks himself so we don't have to] Cosmo: [truly but also hate it lol] Amber: [we 100% need to give him a WAG girlfriend like remember when Joe had that cringey Blake Lively one back in the day] Cosmo: [oh lord yes] Amber: [I'm trying to think who looks like a WAG so we can give her a face for the lols] Cosmo: [I was thinking a character like Ruby from sex education, she's the only one I can think of rn, but that's a WAG-ish vibe] Amber: [I vibe that and I also have an idea how he could meet her like what if she's to do with the dad's girlfriend like when people are really extra about their goddaughters pretending like they are fam when they're for real not even] Cosmo: [that's a fat mood, just using your godmother to get a mans lowkey lol] Amber: [anyways that's for another convo, you can post this if you like]

[muzeez]

Saturday

16th May 2020

18:11

Anthea phoned me up today. She's been checking in with me on a weekly basis since lockdown began. We've been having some long conversations going on for over an hour and more. She's been calling me by video, the first time was a bit of a shock for me because I'm not used to talking on a video call.

Today we were talking about bullying and she can't stand bullying, whether it's between adults or between children. I was surprised to learn that Dexter had had quite a bad experience at school with being bullied, to the point where the teacher had to stand him on a wall during playtimes, to stop other kids picking on him. Poor Dexter.

Anthea told me about one incident she witnessed herself when she was a dinnerlady at Dexter's school. She was looking through the canteen window where the kids were passing and she saw one of the other boys snatch Dexter's hat off his head and shove it in a drain. Anthea saw red and when the kids came into the dining hall, she went out and grabbed the boy by the arms and shook him, along with a warning not to touch her son or any of his belongings. She said the whole of the dinner hall fell silent and when she turned round the head mistress was stood there.

"Anthea, could you come into my office please" the head mistress had demanded.

Anthea had admitted it wasn't her proudest moment, she'd totally lost control for a moment. She told me she's had her own experiences of bullying when she was at school and she was always frightened to stand up for herself. So, to see that happening to her son with her own eyes triggered something in her. She didn't stand uo for herself at school but she could stand up for her son.

The head mistress had given her a warning and when she came out of the office, the culprit was sat there crying his eyes out.

"And as I walked passed him Muzeez, no word of a lie, the little fucker looked up at me and smirked" Anthea told me. "Then he went back into his crocodile tears. I just couldn't believe that a little kid could be so..... not just a little bully but devious Like that."

I've got a million stories I could have told Anthea about my experiences of being 'bullied' but I didn't want to feel like I was comparing my experiences with a child's experiences.

I've had and am having experiences with my neighbours, experiences with work. Hansel's been a cunt and a half with me.

I've had experiences with Marie and Kathleen. Even Rasbach who is supposed to be my best friend has ostracised and persecuted me at work. Customers. In fact I could say I've been bullied in every part of my life apart from when I worked with Judith and Miriam and when I moved to the city and workes there.

I asked Anthea if she'd heard anything from Mitchell because I haven't heard from him, about him or seen him for about 3 years. Probably, one of the last times I've seen him was when he came to where I work and Kathleen happened to be there.

"I'm not surprised I haven't seen much of him since" I told Anthea. "You know how blunt Kathleen can be and when she saw him she told him he looked knackered."

Anthea laughed and told me I should have added '... and I don't.'

Anthea told me she checks in with him once a week. He's living on his own and he's not got any work. Before Coronavirus he'd been doing deliveries for a Chinese takeaway (which I knew about) but that was knocked on the head due to the pandemic.

I wanted to ask how he was coping for money and how he was getting by. Was he furloughed? But I didn't want to come across like I cared too much.

Anthea then told me that Mitchell had mentioned to her about when he came to see me at work on one of my birthdays and given me some money and he told Anthea that he wouldn't be doing that again because I acted 'ungrateful'. 😮😮😮

'Cheeky Bastard' I thought to myself.

"I remember that day" I told Anthea. "I was actually in two minds whether to accept the money but I did accept it and I did thank him. Mainly because we were in public. There were people around us, including Hansel (who's always quick to judge me on things) and I didn't want to turn round and say, 'oh no thanks' to Mitchell in front of everybody, because then I would feel like I was publicly humiliating him and rejecting him. And if I came across ungrateful then he was totally misreading me. When I'm at work, I've got alot of other things going on with me and the things I'm putting up with from the public and Rasbach and Hansel and colleagues. So maybe I was wound up and reserved as a result of that. I certainly wasn't ungrateful."

In my mind, I couldn't believe Mitchell had said that to Anthea. I wouldn't mind, it was only twenty quid. What did he want me to do, start getting emotional and throwing my arms around him, over a £20 note?!? Now I am sounding ungrateful, only because I now know what he said about it.

"Don't worry, I gave him a mouthful for calling you ungrateful" said Anthea. "I told him it was the least he could've done, he's never done owt for ya, he's never paid maintenance for ya and he's never been around for you and you're his only son."

A part of me was thinking, 'I hope Anthea doesn't make a habit of guilt tripping Mitchell, where I'm concerned.' Nobody's perfect and the way I see it, maybe he's not been the Dad he should've been to me but he has made attempts to make amends.

When I was 12 years old, Marie walked out on Byron and one day the phone rang.

I answered the phone and I remember a male voice on the other end telling me he was my Dad and he'd heard that 'that geezer' my Mum was with wasn't around anymore and he'd like to see me.

I remember being absolutely ecstatic about the whole thing, I was overwhelmed with excitement. Not just because Mitchell was my real Dad but also because someone was reaching out and expressing an interest in me, in this way. Marie must have seen my excitement and she left the ball in my court. "As long as you don't build up your hopes too much Muzeez, he's got a habit of letting people down." She was willing to give him a chance to see me, despite what he'd done to her in the past because at the end of the day, I was his only child (as far as we know).

Don't get me wrong, there were times when he didn't turn up and I'd be heartbroken. There were times when he'd pick me and Clanton up and drop us off at one of his fluzies for the day while he went off galavanting doing his own thing. However, I can't forget his attempts to be good and he had a heart. Mitchell would insist that Clanton come along too because Mjork had his Dad, I was getting my Dad (kind of) and Mitchell couldn't bear the idea that Clanton didn't have his Dad coming around and was getting left behind, all on his own. So, he'd bring Clanton with us. In fact, looking back now, he seemed to have more of a soft spot for Clanton and whenever I've seen Mitchell he's always asked about him.

Anyway, I haven't forgotten these things, I haven't forgotten about Mitchell taking me to the city and buying me a leather jacket, I haven't forgotten about him buying me a black and white TV and I haven't forgotten about him paying for me to go on a school trip to the Black Forest in Germany and I never forget how he made sure Clanton was included even though he wasn't his biological son. Mitchell once bought Clanton a pellet gun for his birthday. Marie and Kathleen went ballistic about that and confiscated it immediately.

I've never ever ever been ungrateful towards Mitchell. Him coming around when I was 12 and doing the things he did really lit up my world and I'm sure it lit up Clanton's world. It was devastating when it all came to an end after he kidnapped us and Marie put a stop to him seeing us.

I wanted to tell Anthea about how I felt about it and tell her she was wrong about Mitchell. He had tried, he had done things for me (and Clanton) but it's like I'm torn. I feel that by talking about how good Mitchell is will make me a traitor to Marie and Kathleen, especially after all the stories they've told me about how abusive and selfish Mitchell has been. And ever since the comment he made towards Marie about what he did to her back in the day, totally dismissing her, saying good things about Mitchell is NOT something you do. It might appear to people that I hate Mitchell but I actually don't but I feel if I need to keep a distance from him otherwise Marie and Kathleen will think I'm going against them and that maybe I'm in acceptance of the abuse he inflicted on Marie. Because, now I'm a fully grown adult I can 'understand' things. As a 12 year old boy, I was a kid and couldn't be accused of being a traitor... I don't know if that makes sense or not. Let me come back later to this. I'm getting tired right now.