#i feel like every decent person doesn't like me at least to somw extent
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damn i really am desperate for a decent person to actually like me !
#words#this isnt a dig at. everybody reading this i mean like irl#bc the one bitch irl who will be like oh i care about u ur important to me etc etc is a Shithead!#. almost all the ppl who've liked me romantically are shitheads too. maybe that says something about me 🙃#also im not just. a judgy person i mean theyre like legit morally bad people.#at the same time though i dont really like other ppl so ???#dont get me wrong if somebody was affectionate with me id be all over that shit but. part of me thinks its just so i dont#go crazy due to lack of human interaction#i feel like im actually not going to make any friends anymore#older ppl will talk about their high school or elementary school friends that theyre still friends with and its like ...#well . i dont talk to them either because theyre also morally terrible or they. dont wanna talk to me !!#i feel like every decent person doesn't like me at least to somw extent#even teachers in the hallway ignore me when i say hi like. Regularly.#so its feelbad hours#i keep being like oh boy my depression is gonna get better bc the circumstances that caused this depres#this depressive episode are gone and then i just. have another breakdown#h a h a h a#im havibg a real not great time#honestly it kinda. makes me feel worse when [redacted bad person] will be like u deserve good things ur a good person bc its like.#well most of ur opinions on whats an okay thing to do / what things are bad are just fucking Wrong so !!! gues#guess ill fuckin die !!!#anyway im really having a time#and i dont know how to talk to people about this without making it seem like im guilt tripping them#like here i dont know whos gonna see this post i dont expect anybody in particular to so theres no obligation to do anything#if i talk to somebody one on one or like. in a gc there IS and if i say something it just brings everybody else down and doesnt even end up#helping me feel better!!!#like. idk. maybe i just shouldnt think about any of this but on the other hand ppl say repressing things isn't good but on the same hand but#like dark side maybe i deserve to feel this way !!! maybe this is just my punishment and i should take it without saying anythinf#and if i say this to A Person they like. Need to respond that i dont deserve this just due to social convention (i guess unless theyre like.#the type of person whos fine with saying kys) so if ppl tell me im good its Meaningless!!
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