#i feel like I'm weird for actually liking the idea aaa

[merakiui]

Hi!! I'm sorry if this is weird or anything but I just realized that I found your blog almost a year ago now!!! (We're about 2 weeks off from my actual first ask but shhh shhhhh same difference. almost a year)

I just thought that was really cool because it definitely hasn't felt that long was all. But it may also just be me?? Idk. I hope you've been well and enjoying twst Halloween tho!! Been eating up the Skully content I get in my notifs :-) he's so so silly I love him aaa

But yeah no !! Almost a year since I found your fics!! I thought that was really cool :D! Woo ! I went back to my first ask to confirm this btw and I think it's really funny I was all "if I send another ask I'll include an anon tag just in case" like yeah man we totally didn't send any more after that. definitely didn't happen lmao

- :3 anon

Hiiii, :3 anon!!!! 💖💖

OMG A WHOLE YEAR ALREADY??? Σ(°ロ°) it feels like it was only yesterday. I feel like 2023 went by much too quickly. >_< what even happened during that year!!!! LOL I’ll know soon enough when all of the music and social apps do their yearly reviews. :D

AAAAA but I also remember that ask!! As if we didn’t chat plenty of times after that hehe. It’s always so fun to read your asks, :3 anon!!!! And it’s a delight to see you in the inbox!!! I’m happy we can exchange ideas and thoughts!!! A very celebratory cheers for this one year!!!! May there be many more to come!!! ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ thank you for being here and staying with my blog for the year!!!!

And I’m doing very well!! <3 I hope it’s the same for you. If it isn’t, I’m sending you all the good vibes in the world!! You’ve got this! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ and the Halloween event……… OMG SO MANY THOUGHTS!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! OTL even that cutie Skully…… lots of love for him hehe. Thank you for eating up the Skully content. He’s just so fun to write for and so very silly!!! It’s a Rollo situation all over again,,, this level of obsession... T^T

[sukimas]

maybe this makes me annoying to a degree but i absolutely believe video games need to have some Auteurship to them. you need to have a guy who has an insane and weird vision somewhere along the way or otherwise you end up with slop. it doesn't have to be about story necessarily- you could want a distinct visual style (many, many examples), a place to put your insane music you've composed (touhou, undertale, among others), or a particularly unique type of gameplay (kaga saga, celeste, etc.) but you have to have 1 or 2 extremely weird guys with Ideas.

this doesn't NECESSARILY make your game good, but it's a requirement for it to rise above mediocrity. actually, let's take a concrete example!

metroid is an interesting video game series. it's famous for a lot of things- going around places collecting items that unlock new areas, the way it encourages fast play, having an interesting setting and kickass female protagonist in an era where the latter was very uncommon.

its development teams- one r&d team within nintendo, and one subcontracted outside company- were, at the time, primarily known for ports of arcade games and some sports games. a small subteam within the r&d team, however, were the Idea Guys- they came up with character, script, and world designs even when other games of the time were not even thinking of the concept of games being IN a world. thanks to them, a great number of nintendo games that would have been, well, just "games" like mario ended up being beloved for their characters and worlds (metroid, of course, but kid icarus and others, too.)

anyway, nintendo r&d1 and intelligent systems later became known for being at the forefront of story-driven and otherwise unique first/second party nintendo games, as i'm sure you know by now if you've heard of them. all it takes is a bunch of weird guys! otherwise you end up like the poor duck hunt dog or the ice climbers- revolutionary in their time, but who wants a new duck hunt or ice climbers game?

i feel that many AAA games of the modern era are falling into that same trap of "being a good game" while not realizing that being a "good game" with all the latest features and being a game that people will remember and continue to give you goodwill for making are very different things. what's old is new again.

[kiriwiwii]

pov: they're your deskmate ☆ KNIGHTS

♡ a/n: hey guys im not dead😭 i didn't have time to write, sorry. i hope yall enjoy this <33 and thanks for 50+ followers💕💕

♡ art by Shi_iK4 on twitter

tsukasa suou

sitting with tsukasa means you're gonna get a lot of free help with your lessons-

he wasn't really friendly when you first sat near him but you both started to get close as time passed.

you can constantly ask him for notes and even if he gets mad he still gives them lol

he has those colorful pens and he takes perfect notes HE'S SO NEAT it's unreal.

cheating on exams? no way. he would kill you.

he just studies all. the. time. you try to talk to him and hes just like "quiet, [name]!" and then he starts his speeches of course "you should study too, you know? there are upcoming exams-" blah blah and the exams are in like what- 2 months?

tsukasa is a very typical good student basically. and if you're like that too, you would get along well! but if you are not... you guys might get into lots of arguments lol.

leo tsukinaga

ok i mean,, where do i even start

he's. the craziest deskmate you could've ever had.

he's the class clown (did i even need to say this) i mean if you are also a class clown then good for you got yourself a friend

if you're not then i'm sorry. he will make you go insane.

but this goes only for the times when he ACTUALLY comes to school.

like on monday he's there doing his thing and all of a sudden he disappears. you won't see him for a week-

man just vanishes. if i did that i would be expelled

he doesn't usually give attention to the teachers, and of course he studies the night right before the exam...

i feel like he has very creative ideas on how to cheat but i dunno if he would put them into action. he says its a wrong thing but then he would help you cheat lol

there are music notes EVERYWHERE on the desk. like you're taking notes and you turn your head to look at your dear deskmate to see what he's up to but you see that guy composing. where tf did he get his inspirations from? math?

and there is also something called paper but no leo chooses the desk.

you both joke a lot tho. i said he makes you go insane but he's hella funny too. teachers get angry at you all the time since yall laugh every second-

izumi sena

he's just a. normal guy. but he is also not. i mean you know how he is

the first thing you noticed was how handsome he was when you first got to your desk to meet him- (or at least that's what i would notice idk)

i feel like he's between tsukasa and leo. like,, he is not weird and loud but he's also not a nerd. just somewhere in between.

whenever you get to your desk you see izumi just annoyed at something. nothing might've happened but he will still find something to be grumpy about-

he might get mad at you if you distract him in class or he might just not care at all. depends on his mood tbh...

he asks you for notes sometimes and helps you in return too. sure if you ask for too much he says "go study yourself, jeez-" but keep begging and he'll definitely help.

ritsu sakuma

hmm it's ritsu i wonder what can i say about him.. something very different,, something you never heard before...

can you guess it? nope never you CAN'T.

im gonna say it... are you ready????

he's SLEEPING.

bet you didn't see that coming huh

ok im sorry but that's just what he does

anyways, say hi to your sleepy little vampire friend. you are going to sit with him from now on.

he's a very cute deskmate actually.

you're paying attention to the class and all of a sudden you feel ritsu's head on your shoulder aaa he fell asleep!

not only on your shoulder but he sleeps on your lap as well. you wake him up when the teacher starts talking about something important tho.

you try to teach him everything after the class since he misses lessons most of the time :(( he's very grateful that you're helping him<3

it's really fun to study with him as well. yall joke around, but also take your exams seriously.

he would try to cheat sometimes i just know it. you guys call yourselves "partners in crime" but the only thing yall do is write some answers on the desk (and they're never useful lol)

arashi narukami

she's the sweeetest deskmate. the most normal person among the others above i swear.

she buys you coffee or some snacks before the lesson starts.

sometimes you get caught up in talking with her and just forget that you're in class lol. if the teacher complains then you both instantly stop and pay attention.

she is always willing to help if you couldn't take notes or didn't understand the lesson.

whenever there is an exam and arashi sees you're worried, she tries her best to calm you down and you study together.

i feel like she would also be organized and she has a very lovely feeling overall so it's really comfortable sitting with her.

[sphireath-wisp]

Hi! Idk if this is weird to ask but can you do the monster trio + Usopp, law and shanks with a Mexican!Reader that starts to yell at them in Spanish? I think yk what i mean but other wise it’s fine <3 ty!

Sypnosis -> The ask above! I will be removing Shanks though because I have a limit of 5 people per request!!

Author's notes -> AAA MY FIRST ASK??? AND WHEN I WAS BUSY??? I'M SO HAPPY!! First off, I would like to apologize for getting to this ask super late since I was really busy for the past week and had no time to write. Thank you for your patience!! (You didn't say this was x reader, so I won't write it as such)

Warnings -> Probably inaccurate Google translations, not proofread, following EddieVR's way of speaking (I'm trying to follow an actual Spanish speaker's way and tone so that I can be as accurate as possible), vulgar language because the reader is yelling (so I assume they're upset/angry), Reader could be perceived as rude

Featuring -> Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ussop, Law

Luffy

You can't believe the disaster of a crew you've joined so spontaneously. With a captain that gives that poor cook a workout to feed him 3 meals a day (maybe even more than that), you feel grateful that he's the one cooking because of the delicacy and care he puts into his meals.

Though, not even the best cooks can perform magic. Without ingredients, a chef is left with nothing but utensils to serve. It gave you a shock when you realized how fast Sanji had already ran out of ingredients.

"¡Nunca duraremos en el mar contigo, idiota sin cerebro! La comida está prácticamente terminada. (We'll never last at sea with you, you brainless idiot! The food is practically finished.)" You sigh.

Luffy is... dumbfounded. He just stares at you, scratches the top of his head, then tilts his head with an innocent gleam in his eyes - oblivious to what you're sputtering. If anything, he finds it sort of amusing to see you this upset.

He's heard from the crew about the depth of your culture and home country before - boy, he misses the mouthwatering food there just thinking about it.

You shake your head, aware that your chidings aren't getting through to him. Plus, you got so upset you started scolding him in a whole different language. "Sanji! Would you limit Luffy's meals-"

And suddenly Luffy listening to you (despite the incessant complaining in between).

Zoro

"Ouchouchouch, what the hell?" Zoro grits his teeth at you after you pinched his ear, dragging him behind the crates and preventing him from attacking the marines in front of you.

"Don't just go up there! What are you thinking?" You suddenly spot flashlights illuminating the dark corner the both of you were jammed into and immediately rush over to another hiding place. Letting go of Zoro's ear, you could only pray that he had enough sense in him to follow you instead of trusting any predatory instinct he had in him.

Nami trusted you with this mission! You had to sneak in quietly and-

"It's Roronoa Zoro! Call for backup!"

Great! Another problem. Snaking your hands around him, you grab onto his shirt, smiling gently for just a moment. There weren't many options and it was only the two of you in a base full of marines - it would be waste of time to defeat them all and the injuries afterward would be nothing but troublesome.

"You know what this means, ¡corre por tu maldita vida! (run for your damn life!)" Not looking back for a single moment, you bang into almost everything blocking your way with Zoro being dragged along behind you. Luckily for you, he works as a great meatshield - fending off all the enemies that get too close for comfort!

Zoro had no idea what language you were speaking, but he could tell just how furious you were just by how much you continued to ramble while sprinting into enemy territory. Just by how you sound, he could tell that you probably weren't saying the nicest things about him...

(He'll learn from you so that he can use them against Sanji)

Sanji

Just like how he hears the tears of heartbroken women falling to the ground, he can listen to the exhausted sighs of the women on board. Every time Nami and Robin are having a hard time, Sanji makes it his first priority to help them.

Of course, his enthusiasm to assist these "poor, helpless" women are appreciated - but his tendency to go all out and beyond makes his efforts... overbearing.

"Special drinks for the two lovely Mademoiselles," Sanji's voice deepens, coaxing his words with a dash of honey in hopes of wooing Robin and Nami. The gentle clack of a cup being placed next to your hand suddenly alerts you, "And one for (Name),"

You thank him along with Nami and Robin, sipping the sweet cider-like concoction in your glass as your eyes drift back to the book in your hand.

"Is there anything else I could help you with?" You couldn't see what Sanji was doing, but you could already picture that infatuated grin on his face.

Despite the three of you already insisting that there's no need, Sanji still lingers around you. Like a moth to a fiery flame, Sanji buzzes around the two women - leaving them with no moment of peace.

"¿Puedes callarte y aprender a cerrar la boca? (Can you shut up and learn how to zip your mouth?)" You yell, slamming the book shut. You continue to scream - even Chopper and the others begin to hold you back from reaching Sanji.

"Do you get the feeling that they're mad at Sanji?" Luffy sits on a railing and ponders. "No shit, Sherlock." Zoro retorts.

Ussop

At first, when you didn't know Ussop well enough, you were unaware of his tendency to lie his way out of sticky situations. From his title as "God Ussop" alone, you would assume he's quite powerful, no?

You once overheard his boasting to those oblivious to his actual abilities. You don't think of Ussop as weak, far from it. His talent as a sniper is unlike no other and deserved to be praised. However, exaggerations would only bring in more and more trouble. Not to mention the misconceptions!

You weren't really sure whether his exceptional ability to lie was a blessing or a curse.

"I've carried a 100-ton hammer before as well!" Ussop folds his arms, holding his head up high in pride. The wows and impressed gazes from the kids only made him exaggerate more.

You sigh, leaning against the wall and wondering why pirates like you and Ussop are suddenly babysitting kids now. You ran into daycare to avoid getting spotted by marines, but the children there ended up assuming that the both of you are new caretakers,

You did nudge him a few times, reminding him about how the crew is probably waiting for the both of you the get back on the Sunny. Though, your words probably fell on deaf ears.

"Ussop! Ussop! If you and (Name) were to fight, who would win?" The question piqued your curiosity and the ends of your lips curve upwards, "Well, that would be-"

"Me, of course!" Ussop interrupts your sentence before it was finished. The kids gasp in awe as you snap your head to Ussop, glaring at him.

"(Name) must not be that good of a fighter..." You hear a soft murmur through the whispers in the crowd.

"Oye, imbécil, ¿de quién crees que estás hablando? (Hey dumbass, who do you think you're talking about?)" Grabbing a hold of the collar of Ussop's shirt, you drag him out without any explanation as he tries to talk you out of this.

"Do you think they're going to eat?" One kid asks, "Yeah, maybe they got hungry." Another replies.

Law

"You're not going to try the capirotada (Mexican bread pudding)? The rest of the crew seems to have taken a liking to it." You hum to yourself before being interrupted by a loud sigh.

"You know I don't like bread, (Name)-ya," You didn't bother to turn around and see the frown on his face, but it's fine - you were completely okay with his opinion.

"You're really not open to trying new things, huh?" You sarcastically jest, "The crew might ask me to make this again, you know. The smell of bread is going to haunt you in your sleep."

"(Name)! Seconds please!" Bepo barges in with a giant plate in his hand, "The others want more too!" Bepo rushes to your side, placing the plate on the counter for you. "Captain, you're really not going to try this... what is called again?"

"Capirotada, learn how to pronounce and drill it into your brain, then I'll make this for the crew again." Your back was still turned to the both of them, but you could still hear the soft groans from your captain.

"Capirotada! It's really good," Bepo insisted - which did bring a smile to your face. He grabbed a plate of the bread pudding, shoving it right into Law's face as Law pinched his nose.

Law took a step back, but eventually sighed and picked up a fork. "No more bread for another month after this, alright?" Law poked his fork into the pudding, sliding it around the plate as if he was reluctant to even pick it up.

Finally, he ate it.

"So? Isn't it great?" Bepo asked. Law slowly chewed the pudding, his features contorting into surprise, a bit of satisfaction, then disgust. "Yeah, I'll take that as a no." You chuckled at his expression.

"(Name), I don't think it's the bread... I think it's your cooking." Law covered his mouth, implying that he was going to vomit, hiding his laughter.

"diez, nueve, ocho... (ten, nine, eight...)" You slowly turned around. Unluckily for Law, you had happened to just buy a new set of knives recently known for their effective and quick chopping! "W-we should really go now, captain! It was really super duper nice seeing you, (Name)!"

"tres, dos, uno. Captain, ¡Espero que hayas dicho tus oraciones! (three, two, one. Captain, I hope you said your prayers!)"

[66sharkteeth]

you mentioned that COB's 4th season is the last one, so would it be rude/too early to ask about your next comic? i remember seeing art if like a... biblically accurate eldritch angel very of finz (i think) and he was with a goggle wearing guy. did that have anything to do with your next comic/project?

Aaa. I kind of...go back and forth on what I wanna do after CoB. I have a few ideas, though there's one I've definitely put the most eggs in the basket of, so to speak, and that's the one you're referring to- With Finze and his partner, Nine Lives.

This has nothing to do with CoB to be clear... I just really like Finze, so I re-use him for multiple projects. Think it kind of like...across the Spiderverse haha. They're all Finze, just kind of different universe/story's versions of Finze (with a few core parts of his character always in place- nasty personality, always smiling, always has a fucked up eye, generally same look). So this Finze has nothing to do with the CoB Finze (and is actually much younger, like 17).

They actually aren't the main characters of that story though, just my favorites. Once I get more into it, I'm sure you'll see some love for the actual MCs. I did do one drawing of the MC, though he's super subject to change at this point...

His name is Win, and believe it or not this is actually a much more lighthearted story haha. I plan on pitching it either as Supernatural/Comedy or Supernatural/Romance. The tone of this pic is completely off from what I'm imagining and I mostly wanted to draw that building in the background, which is kind of a big thing in the story.

Anyway, I guess I'm not saying much about the actual story in this post am I? It's very much an angels/demons/humans story, with a romance between a human and demon. Finze's one of the side characters who is a (half)-angel and Nine Lives is another side character who is a half-demon. But like...all in a world where that isn't a very big deal. Nine goes to school with humans just like everyone else, he's just a little weird. Their romance is kind of currently a B plot in the story.

Though, I also play with the idea of doing a completely different story, featuring Finze and Nine as the actual main characters. I have even less to show of that one though, except some concepts of Nine's design (which isn't much different from his other designs).

This one is much darker and while I'd love to do a story where Finze and Nine are the main characters... I'm just afraid how it'd do on Webtoon. It'd be a Thriller BL and I'm not sure how WT audiences feel about those two themes together. It's a very "Escape from New York" kind of premise with a prison city.

No matter what though, I really wanna do something with Finze and Nine more front and center for my next project haha. Finze's just my all time favorite OC and Nine isn't far behind him, so that's just the self-indulgence I want in whatever I do after CoB.

[thetruearchmagos]

Ideas For AAA...

are going... ehh? It's been weird.

Currently I've resolved to focusing on the Issue on Logistics first, even though my ideas for 'tactical formations' feel the most captivating right now. As it is, my ideas for that Logi post are divided into:

What Is Logistics?

Basically just defining the scope of it, and an exercise in me cutting out stuff I might've wanted to cover but which would've made it far, far harder to get done.

What Logistics Can Do For You

Me attempting to explain why caring about the logistical needs of a military force can be beneficial to writers and their works. Kind of a tricky one, it feels like...

What You Can Do For Logistics

The actual, y'know, advice portion of the post. In theory, this should be the longest one, but I'm having a hard time deciding what should go in, and how I'll package all of it. I'm thinking that at least part of this will be devoted to historical examples of how militaries have met their logistical needs in history, as well as my attempts to abstract that enough to apply to any form or genre of fictional Setting imaginable. Which will be... tricky, to say the least.

Tagging @theprissythumbelina out of my semi-desperate need for someone else to tell me I'm not going to be driven insane, and also to ask if you've got any suggestions, ideas, or requests yourself?

[beehindblueeyes]

Long rant on how Cool you are

Dude.

I just wanted to say that you are one of my favorite Black Phone fic writers(& just fans in general, really). This fandom is filled with what I feel are literal children(like 12 yr-olds) and you are one of the very, very few mature people that genuinely care about having good fics with good plots that aren't chat fics with so many spelling errors I can hardly understand them at all(I cannot stress how much I hate all these chat fics. The way they all stereotype these poor kids hurts so bad!)

And don't even get me started on all the Character(KID/MINOR/UNDERAGE/WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE) X Grabber fics there are, or the Y/N X Grabber, or Character X Reader.

And I love all the research you do on the 70s and how Ghosts act!! I come here often to see what your expertise is when I'm unsure of what a living-room should look like or whether Finney having a therapist makes sense or not lol. Not to mention your analysis on the Ghost Boys(I love them so much!! tbh I kinda follow your view on them when I'm writing them).

And seeing you care so much makes me do my own research knowing that there could be more people like you reading my fics that care about those kind of things((I am one of those people lol I love when fics are consistent with the source material!!))

Dude you have no idea how much this means to me, a lot of the time I feel like I’m putting my posts or my “time period guides “ out into the void. Sure they’ll get likes but no one ever says anything? It’s hard to know if people care and if I’m actually making a difference/people take my advice. I’m 🥺

I’m glad you like my writing! While also sad to hear chat fics are still a major problem. I went semi inactive in this fandom about a year ago and that sort of thing was rampant then— I get it’s a bunch of kids but it’s the refusal to try to actually get the characters or the world they live in. Idk I’ve just never been comfy with wackyyy texting modern AUs for…a bunch of murdered preteen boys… the fandom somehow infantilizes them and makes them too mature? How do you do that.

There was a real tendency to age up Vance in particular because a lot of people find him attractive like he isn’t 14-15 MAX.

Never been a x reader person but the grabber ones in particular is… weird. I know Ethan hawk is good looking but why do a bunch of grown women want to get with a canonical pedophile serial killer? … I uh… I don’t think he’d be into you.

No but again I’m just a huge puddle on the floor rn man I’m so glad I influenced you to care and all that? That I touched at least one person, y’a know? Aaa

[which-hospital]

okay, Mercury’s 80s Casualty Thoughts: Closure (01x15) Edition

(I know I said I’d get back to series 4… I will... soon? also, this is a pretty long 'thoughts' post because I don't have energy to organise them into anything more concise)

this feels like a really weird episode to watch in July because it’s the original Christmas episode

Ewart seeing the end of the night shift as a vote of no confidence and threatening to resign??? Ewart very much belongs in the 80s but he's still one of the original characters I'd like to drag and drop into the current show

S1 Kuba is the best version of Kuba

this meeting scene at Megan’s is so <3 everyone being squeezed into the room and Duffy holding Megan's ashtray is just so... ~natural feeling~

Charlie is right about needing to strike but he's being a dick about it and I like that the show knows that, I also like that interaction between him and the paramedics where Andy suggests a petition and Charlie and Sandra immediately shut the idea down because the patients don't care? very character of them to both feel that way

Megan is another character I'd drag and drop into the current show, she could fix everything with her presence I think

DUFFY AND SUSIE "tell her to pass it on" "she knows that" my sillies, they were fr besties in S1 (lovetrianglelovetriangelo-) I somehow forgot about Susie continuing to defend Duffy not wanting to go to the police in this episode but <3

THE PROTECTIVE SUITS!!!! they all look so ridiculous I love my little guys (the paramedics in the pink ones as well aaa, S1 you will always be famous)

staffroom scene where Duffy is stressing out that she has Lassa Fever and the others are laughing at her is another (like the meeting scene) moment that feels very natural to me just with how everyone is sat and what they're up to? like, Susie eating chocolate and stuff instead of them all just sitting around doing nothing other than existing to have the conversation they're having, I guess?

see, this is just becoming what I knew it would: me listing things that make me smile about this episode

but I love the scene where Charlie is being annoying and trying to get Andy to play piano and Sandra is laughing along with him and also "I'm tone deaf, Andrew, should've thought you'd know that by now" a call back to the second episode!!!

THE WE'LL MEET AGAIN SCENE!!!!!!!!! augh, I am tearing up I need to sleep...... Sandra, Duffy and Susie matching costumes!! Clive and Baz dancing!! Charlie getting the words wrong and Megan laughing at him!!

also, thank you Mickey the old man patient who got stuck in the ED with them for causing this reaction image I love:

sorry Baz's brother, she's not visiting you now cause she's in France with Charlie (actually this is an annoyingly pretty good scene for them... ‘annoying’ because I don’t really like it when I find myself liking Charlie at all)

the protest at the end of this episode feels like such an underrated part of S1, this whole episode does actually, it's so much about the whole team coming together and I just think it's a perfect ending for the first series to have everyone together like that

(DVD commentary implication that they had been drinking when they filmed the final scene)

and Ewart's reaction :( the start of the episode being him saying that he sees the end of the night shift as a vote of no confidence in him vs the end of the episode being everyone coming together to fight for his night shift

Overall: Closure needs to be remembered more when the BBC or official Casualty socials do stuff for the Casualty anniversaries or I will riot.

[atwastage]

Hello! Do you have any directors commentary for "Crowned with Sight"?

I'm so glad you asked!

I'm still very happy with this fic-- it actually came from a direct conversation I had with Xander (Fink's player) concerning the relationship between Fink and the Narrator. He was the one who came up with the idea of Them kissing Fink's forehead and giving him a third eye through that as a part of how the exchange of humanity for power works in the game; and I ended up taking that image and running to it. A good chunk of this fic was written long-hand in my notebook while I was on vacation, leaning against Xander while he was busy playing a ttrpg one-shot with some other people. Thanks Xander, you make a good pillow and I think your characters are Very Neat.

I'm very lucky he was as down with the idea of the weird toxic eldritch relationship thing as I was. I just think it's very fascinating. How does something with no concept of love, love? How does it learn to care? What is it like to be the subject of those terrible affections?

Hence being pinned-- in the sights of a gun, to a board, by circumstance. The Narrator only takes what they are offered, yes-- but how could Fink or any of the other soldiers say no? They can't, not if they want to survive.

I also was pretty particular about when Fink swapped from It to They in terms of referring to the Narrator. When he accepts them and their deals-- when he says he will give them anything they want in return for his survival.

I return to quite a few of these themes and situations in "Scars of Experience" (which is actually canon to Bones in the Dust). Narrator communicating through dreams (and responding directly to thoughts in conversation), loneliness, 'unconditional' love, narrative (hah) ways that the mechanical ideas of the game manifest (re-rolling things so attacks succeed or fail, etc) ((Double aside, I'm actually super-proud of Scars of Experience and wish it wasn't spoilery for recent episodes so more people would read it aaa I am dying))

Fun fact, when I originally published this fic I didn't tag it as / right away because I was a coward and worried people would think it particularly odd? I've (obviously) since rectified this.

"You should know, Private Fink, that I take because it is my nature. Because it is the only thing I can do." Their breath hitched. "I take because I am cold, and I am empty."

^ A raw fucking line that I'm still super happy with. Another reason I wrote this, was so I could use that line that I spit out off the cuff.

The "It was familiar" paragraph towards the end is another that still sticks in my brain. Exploring how people exist in war (and how it changes them so they feel they cannot exist without it) is something also profoundly fascinating to me. Look at Kit, look at the other NGH fics I've written. Even Korellian in Fallen Empires kind of leans into this-- how can you exist in the after when your entire life is violence? How can you live with what you've had to do to survive? How can normal life ever compare?

[bonesandthebees]

oh man I would kill for a cosmic horror fic for halloween (no pressure or anything of course)

I dont really go looking for stories like this much bc it feels hard to find good ones, but its always nice to read when I come across it

and yours specifically I keep coming back to bc your ability to capture the vibes is really good and your style feels familiar at this point it adds to the disturbing vibe

aaa thank you this is so kind! I really love writing that kind of stuff, it's a fun deviation from my normal content and I love building that kind of unsettling, uncanny atmosphere

I definitely want to write more cosmic horror, it's just a matter of actually getting ideas for it lol. a lot of my ideas for that kind of stuff is closer to the realm of weird fiction rather than actually being horror though so that also complicates things because I think a story idea can be horror and then I'm actually this is just weird shit happening but it's not scary

[wandringaesthetic]

I wanted to kinda respond to @risingoflights post I reblogged re: FFVII Rebirth feeling shallow but didn't want to do it on the reblog of their post because this is going to be a lot

First of all, if I was grand czar of the universe, Remake/Rebirth/Reunion wouldn't exist. You can't go back, you can't step in the same river twice. I don't like the cash grab, I don't like the idea of replacing the original. Nothing can replace the original. It's not 1997 and we live in a world in which Final Fantasy VII already exists. I would rather they spent the time and money working on FFXVII.

However.

I am also mortal and weak and FFVII had a huge impact on my life and I'm against the concept of denying myself simple pleasures, so ofc I played them, preordered them asap, etc. And with Remake? With the understanding that I don't think that the game should exist, I also think that it is about the best possible version of the concept that could exist. In the words of Tim Rogers, it is more Final Fantasy VII than Final Fantasy VII. It's not flawless, but nothing is. I think of it like I think of the Lord of the Rings movies. Are they *perfect* adaptations of the books? No. But they're about the maximum good it was possible for them to be. And the fact that it is a stealth *sequel* to the original game actually makes me feel better about the whole endeavor. We aren't even really trying to replace the original. The original is a key component to what we're doing here. It's in conversation with the original.

(Adaptation may be an even more apt metaphor than I originally intended, because a video game in 1997 and a AAA video game in 2024 are for all intents and purposes different mediums. It's like comparing silent film to something that came out last week. It has a different toolkit, a different runtime, a different budget, etcetcetc)

(spoilers for all of Rebirth from here)

I enjoyed Rebirth quite a lot but I don't feel as rosy about it as I did about Remake. I spent about 130 hours on Rebirth. One could play the original game in its entirety three times in that time, and there's not that much more going on in Rebirth, plot-wise, than there is in this segment of the original game. There's a lot of *setup*. It looks like there's going to be a lot more going on in Wutai than in the OG in part 3, Rufus is having a really weird time, I love what they did with the Gi and with Cosmo Canyon &etc, but beyond texture there's not a huge amount of meaningful content here. The stuff that is going on with Cloud and Sephiroth is so much more *subtle* in the OG, but also it can be because it's doing it with a fraction of the runtime and the text. Sephiroth has to pop up a lot more here because while you're running around taking photos and making cactuar poses and finding every piece of the genji armor and soaking up the gleefully absurd world and its approximately 3000 minigames you might legitimately forget about him if he didn't pester Cloud repeatedly.

This makes me very interested in what Squeenix might do with a game/story/world that was built for this runtime/structure, and again, I had a really fun time with this game, but it does, I agree, make for a more shallow overall experience than the original did.

AS FOR THE PLOT where it diverges rather than just expands on the original and the multiverse/meta stuff: now that I know that they're going for multiverse shenanigans and not just straight up "we are taking a different path from here" like it looked like they might be at the end of Remake

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm how to put this

The more you increase the scope of a conflict, the more you run the risk of the whole thing collapsing in on itself. Now I know this is Final Fantasy and the stakes being no more or less than the fate of the world is the norm here. An epic scope is a necessity. But when you're dealing with the fate of multiple timelines and every reality, it makes the choices and stakes of the individual human characters and conflicts kind of trivial. Original flavor FFVII is, at least on one level, about holding off the corporate-greed-driven death of the planet we live on. Rebirth makes that kind of a side show to Sephiroth and Aerith's struggle to see who gets to say what reality is and maybe also their struggle for Cloud's soul. By making the stakes even bigger, you kind of make them even smaller. Instead of being about monopolies and energy consumption and breaking out of the matrix, etc, it's kind of just about this one guy (Sephiroth) who sucks. Why are Aerith and Cloud and Zack and Sephiroth determining the fate of every reality again? Why THESE guys?

(This is notably a potential critique of the original game, that Sephiroth kind of sucks all the light and air out of the plot post-Midgar. Wouldn't it be interesting if Shinra were the main baddies the whole way through? Yeah, but that would be a different story, wouldn't it?)

What was I saying?

Well.

Without something to ground these multiple realities-and-planets-and-universes types stakes it gets sort of hard to relate to and hang onto and be touched by the story. Since Aerith is dead in some realities and alive in others and since "dead loved one" is a reality many people face within our universe and "both alive and unalive" loved one is not.... I mean, again, epic fantasy story but it has to hang on to real life emotions in SOME way, right? If there are many universes does what we do even fuckin matter, man?

FFXIV grounds its grand multiple-universes-and-planets stakes by making Endwalker metaphorically about each person's struggle against despair and the knowledge of each of our own inevitable deaths. And, I don't know, maybe Reunion will do something like this eventually but Rebirth pretty much doesn't and so I don't know what to do with it at this time.

[kaebedom-me]

Im not sure if you're open for requests rn but i am so inlove with your stories with the poly bois haha, (youre actually the only one ive seen really write for it and youre also the one who dragged me into liking it so thank you hahaha)

BUT anyways would it be alright if you could write something with childe and kaeya in a modern!college! au where perhaps the gn!reader has been secretly bullied for yknow, taking the two, most sought after, bois in the uni? But the readers stubborn and keeps it to themselves till maybe the bois notice a bruise of sorts or smth? 👁👁

sorry if this was long but have a good day!!

i lOVE this overused trope and aaa I'm so glad you enjoy they!! i think they're the best to this day they're my strongest main :')

if i were reader i'd honestly be thriving and be rubbing it in people's faces like hah sucks to be you bitch

maybe reader is like that uwu i also get that sometimes it's hard to deal with constant mean things being said about you uwu

i kinda see you not wanting to tell childe and kaeya about it because they won't let it slide so easily, they are protective over you after all

also you wouldn't put it past them to not do anything stupid drastic about it so you kinda just keep it on the down low hoping it'd pass you know

but boooy were you wrong, for the sake of plot I'm saying these people are relentless and lifeless and have nothing else better to worry about in their busy college life and the bullying just kept coming LMAO

it started out small, people not wanting to be in groups with you then maybe acquaintances started exclude you from activities the verbal bulling didn't come til after a while

the boys arent stupid they aren't blind and oblivious about it but you never made it out to be a problem so they don't want to risk making you upset by interfering

childe would call out someone for being mean to you though and that usually steers people away for a while

kaeya doesn't try to bully people back but he can't help the things his silver tongue spits out sometimes, ain't no one is gonna disrespect his s/o in front of him

hates that you're bummed about it for a while so will try to make it up to you by bringing you out of dates outside of the town do other uni goers don't see

til one day these high school bullies started to grow some balls, saw that the boys were protecting you a lot and just had to jab at you when they weren't around, some were brave enough to make a passive aggressive comment around them too v rude

i feel? they'd try to interfere like subtly? like want to deter the attention from you but somehow made it worse for awhile HAHHAHAHA

like leaving hickeys on you was not a good idea because you were tripped over by some fucking bitch when they saw it. they even made a comment about how humongous your insect bite was

you'll prolly try to stop them from doing anything weird to you for a while

it really started something when the tripping happened. maybe you still try to be meek about it and hope it'll go away but people are just that free you know? power trip or whatever

they just took it as encouragement and started to corner you while you were going around uni

that's when things became physical enough for childe and kaeya to notice

they'd hate themselves for letting it come to this because you are miserable and they could've done something much sooner and maybe they should've umu

will make you cough up names of the people who have been physically abusive and if you don't they'd be a lil frustrated and disappointed

i see it mostly being like them interpreting it as you don't trust the two of them enough to share your troubles with

they'll think they haven't been attentive enough or maybe they haven't been doing anything to let you know that you can lean on them for support

(but it's actually your brain that's stupid and stubborn umu)

but it's ok because it's time to fix everything so you can be happy again

childe and kaeya have enough friends and intel to know snuff out the morons that's been bothering you

and if it happened to be someone they used to associate with they'll prolly going to be chewed out by kaeya and beat up by childe

i wanna say they gather evidence and send it to the bullies' respective profs but i think they're more the type to settle this on the down low and make people really regret what they've done to you

they do gather evidence and send it school and put the info public to ruin people's lives but that's not until they got their revenge uwu

they type to go and confront the bullies uwu what you can't take what you dish out? childe and kaeya can be even meaner bullies too if they chose to but instead they use their charm for good smh

will scare bitches into never wanting to set foot outside of their room again

but won't do anything drastic enough to draw attention to them, they're better than these people ofc

childe and kaeya can be a very scary combo and you wouldn't want to piss them off. they're both schemers and nasty

one will break your bones while the other would break you emotionally uwu all for shits and giggles because that was what seemed to get them off when it was you

when all is said and done and they've completely ruined your bully's life they'll come back to you for a long talk

wants to know whats up and wants to make sure you don't feel like you have to carry something like this alone again

pampers you a ton

if you're like sdfalfgh about them handling it their way you're gonna have to deal with it because it was the only way

(it wasn't they were just in a bad mood because you were sad)

they'll!! reassure you a ton too!! and talk enough to uncover why you handled it the way you did

they want to be there for you and want you to rely on them for things like these!

also you made them worry a whole fuck ton so you better apologise!!!!!

soft make up and reassurance sex tho :bottom emoji: because you three were really hurt during this time

[wooahaes]

sorry if this is weird but i just saw that you reblogged my ww fic and i felt a bit like 🤯 because i didn't expect that at all (and also didn't expect anyone to recommend a fic of mine i'm just 🥺😭) you're actually my favorite svt writer so it kinda means a lot to me that you read the story and reblogged it too 😭😭 (also fun fact but ages ago i sent you an ask on stupid fic ideas and a tiny drabble has been drabbled since then but i was way too shy to actually tell you back then—but also pls don't feel like you have to check it out or anything like that!!! i just thought since i'm already here i might as well tell you dfhsh)

yeah idk i really hope this isn't too awkward to receive i just felt happy when i saw your tags so i wanted to say thank you for reading and for saying something about the story

i hope the story could provide a little comfort and made your night at least a tiny bit better 🥺❤️

—@jinkoh (it's a sideblog)

omg hi!! ur fic was lovely to read and i'm very glad someone recommended it <3 it def helped make my night better :] !! ur so sweet aaa <3

but also know i buried my face in my hands at being called ur fave svt writer... ur literally so sweet what if i cry fr!!! ALSO OMG that ask... ill check out the fic tho!! i originally wanted to see it and i still do <3

its not awkward at all though <3 i was literally in the middle of scheduling october fics bc i needed a break from ff7 haha so it was a very very sweet surprise!! <3

thank YOU for writing that fic tho <3 !!! im sure im not the only person who needs something like that and it means a lot that u put it out into the world (and im very thankful anon brought it to me as well) <3

[lucysweatslove]

Because I need to just... get it out, I guess (regarding the weird trigger this morning). TW: health, food/sugar, fasting, diabetes, weight, weight stigma, EDs, etc etc. There will be numbers of blood glucose readings.

So, years ago when I was on oral contraceptive pills (during the time of pseudo-recovery, btw), I also had a theory that they may make me mildly hypoglycemic. They don't, but I got a glucose meter + strips and stuff to test out the theory. I like data and numbers and whatnot, so it was kind of fun to just see how my body responded etc etc. I loved getting the data as I could in any kind of situation- how did my body respond to exercise? Did my glucose spike regularly? How and when? When I learned that CGMs existed, I loved the idea of them because continuous data that didn't involve several pokes. But, gotta prioritize people with actual diabetes, yeah?

I will also say: diabetes is one of those conditions that I have health anxiety after. There is a lot of fearmongering about food / carbs and diabetes. It's not so much about developing diabetes that makes me anxious but more so how I will be treated should I develop diabetes. The first issue: obviously as somebody recovered from a restrictive, weight-based eating disorder, being told I "should" restrict any food and/or lose weight (restrict calories) is terrifying. I literally cannot do that without it going into an unhealthy place. It's already hard to get atypical ana to be seen seriously, and to essentially be prescribed the diet that hurt me so much is terrifying. The second issue: people treat diabetes (specifically, type 2 and in some cases gestational) as a shameful disease that is your fault because of your weight. I want to be clear that I do not think there is anything inherently shameful about having diabetes of any type. It's just seen as this thing socially and I'm already hyper-aware of social perceptions of my body.

Back in 2021, my curiosity peaked when I found out about a company that gives CGMs to people who are higher weight. I decided to try it out- not in the sense of weight loss as this company wanted, exactly, but just to see how my body responds to various foods (especially to exercise). I didn't like the company itself as it demonized having blood glucose above 120 mg/dl in any capacity, even though it's totally normal / not an issue to have blood glucose go up to even 140 mg/dl or higher after meals. So I had a huge issue with how they wanted you to stay under 120 no matter what. But whatever. I didn't see anything then that was concerning to me except that when I do heavy cardio, I can get hypoglycemic, which I had already suspected but now how concrete data to say yes, it happens (glucose in the 40-50s mg/dl range).

The last time I had a "fasting" glucose level checked was about a year ago, when I had COVID and went to the hospital. I didn't have respiratory issues, but basically, the night I got sick, I got up to use the bathroom (feeling like I was going to throw up), and had a "near syncopal event" which isn't so much the issue as is the fact that when I felt like I might pass out, I collapsed onto the bathroom floor instead, and major muscles contracted and I couldn't move. Not full paralysis couldn't move, but my hands were contracted, I couldn't move my legs, etc. Rob was staying in his office (across the hall) as he had tested positive and we were trying to avoid me getting sick too. I was barely able to call him for help. He called paramedics, they brought me to the ED, I was able to move by then (it was about 45 min to an hour after), and then they did the CBC, CMP, etc. My glucose was slightly elevated at 108 mg/dl. My PCP wasn't too concerned- I was sick, and based on timing, she thought it was possible my body had pumped out some epinephrine which raises glucose a little bit.

The other day when I was rummaging for some AAA batteries, I found a (traditional) glucose meter and all the accessories. The strips weren't expired. I got curious last night and about 45 min after dinner decided to check my glucose. It was 114 mg/dl which is totally normal after a meal. But this had me very curious for this morning. So I decided to check it fasting again.

And this is where I got triggered, because it was higher than last night's post-meal value. At 116 mg/dl. I checked it again and it said 110 mg/dl. This seemed super weird to me, because that is very firmly "pre-diabetes" level, and I was kind of hungry. I found some old control solution, and tried that out... it read kind of high for the low control solution (60mg when it's supposed to be like 24-58 mg/dl) and low for the high one (like 214 mg/dl when it's supposed to be like 250-350 mg/dl). So my confidence in that meter is basically 0, but it still triggered that fear of developing diabetes.

Usually one-off readings like this aren't triggering in any way because I can explain it. If I was consistently eating high carb meals, okay. If there was evidence of delayed gastric emptying, okay. But my snack last night was vegetables + ranch dip (not many carbs at all), I've been quite active the past 5 weeks, and I even did a real calorie restriction where I was very meticulous for a couple weeks when I was worried about something going on with my thyroid. So by all accounts, my fasting glucose should be going down, not having a one-off high reading. I'm also not much heavier than I was last year- maybe a few lbs but it just feels very weird for there to be any impact on glucose and I just am confused by it.

I know not eating / skipping meals isn't going to do anything, but I'm just having a hard time actually getting myself to eat after this. It's irrational in every sense of the word, and I don't even know what I think will even happen (for example, glucose will not continue to drop with prolonged fasting, and I know this). So idk. I think it's more like, this feels like "permission." Like oh, if my glucose is actually high, nothing bad is going to happen if I just like, skip meals. Oh, you don't really need to eat unless your glucose is low. All BS but that's the only way I can explain this trigger.

[lavenoon]

HI, Luce! Can I be sappy for a moment? I just wanted to thank you a lot for making the discord server and your AU in general! It was already fun getting into the DA fandom, but getting into the server has been a whole other level of fun! I often wake up and really want to check it immediately in the morning to see what has happened while I was asleep. I almost didn't join at first because I am shy, though I'm glad I decided to do it anyways (training myself to get over social anxiety by interacting more, can't even tell you the amount of times I force myself to hit send XD) because it's always a great time all around! I've met some very nice people through it and even if it hasn't been open that long it really just became a nice kind of familiar very quickly <3 Your AU and all it's variations are so incredibly fun to discuss and provides so much inspiration and blorbo thoughts that accompany me throughout the day! I'm just so very glad we coincided in the same corner of this very vast internet! I'm sending you a giant hug and all the good vibes for your day <3

After trials and tribulations (got distracted) I finally got to this ask!

What makes is funnier is that I had to draft this and go work because obviously I didn't get further. NOW however <3

You may be sappy just know that I keep melting at this ask aaa

And I'm so happy you joined too!! And I'm glad (and proud - because man social anxiety is a bitch) that you're being brave and interact!! I'd miss you if you didn't!!

Now I'm gonna be sappy, be warned

Because, well, yeah! I love the server!! Initially I wasn't too sure about the idea, thought I'm getting ahead of myself, that there isn't actually that kind of interest - but I'm glad I asked friends in dms and also that one post on here and then made it happen, because it's just so so nice!

I'm a very chatty person by nature (when I'm comfortable), and I just. I love that I can just blurt out a thought and then y'all jump on it and make it better, enable me to make more, and make your own!! All while there's not this pressure for it all to be fully fleshed out already. It's more a dialogue, a development, and sparking so so many of the things that do make it on here also!

I'm of course not trying to make the server like, a dlc to tumblr content or anything, I don't mention it on here to tease anyone who isn't in it, I'm just a lot more comfortable chatting on there and I love the server! It feels like a, well, a cozy little cove! Everyone is nice and it's a fun place to show off anything new in life, blorbo related or not, or hanging in vc - I've actually done streams! With me doing art in my mornings there's just not that many people who could join in the first place, but in the server it's a nice little opt in option that allows for chatting on the side! I'm a little self conscious still about my art process but it's just so so neat to have people react immediately to what I'm cooking up? Like with the CS comic yesterday hehehe, telling/ later showing the twist as I'm sketching it? Hearing the reactions out loud? Definitely worth it!

And it's just. A comfortable little corner, doesn't feel too public, and even on the lurkier days it's just really cool to see the chaos and people sniping each other, it's a little community and I love it! I love seeing the little spontaneous doodles and the agentsona thoughts that wouldn't make it on tumblr simply from the way this site is set up, it's just chatting and I love it very very much. It's really really reassuring for me too because of that, it's direct interaction and wanted direct interaction from both sides! Because yeah, social anxiety (and also rejection sensitivity) is a bitch sometimes and tumblr is still a blogging website, not a chat website! (tumblr DMs are my mortal enemy, and not just because of the weird ones I got before)

So tldr; I'm also very very happy that we found ourselves overlapping spaces in the world wide web, because I am so happy to be here with you!

Also, you've been shown as online the entire time, I do hope you slept well despite whatever your phone is doing FHDJS

[superfluouskeys]

omg for the grad school anon! i am 26 and i chose to pursue a 2nd degree and i relate to a lot of things you said. esp about not being able to relate to other students, but also that really doesn't have to get in the way too much if you focus on building relationships with more ppl your age outside of college. thankfully i found another girl who is a year younger than me who also decided to get a 2nd degree and now we hang out a lot! will continue in a 2nd message this is getting long aaa

part 2! the thing about appreciating the value of education is so real! personally i might have even had better resources when i was doing my 1st degree but i had no idea how to use them. i was really in my head and going through a tough time mentally and looking back it's a real shame i didn't use everything given to me. now that resources are fewer i am getting more out of my degree tho bc i finally know what i want now that i'm older. i am actually interested in using them and i know how to!

God FEEL this so much!!! Yeah, I totally agree that not really connecting w your classmates isn't a big deal at all, just like a factor to be prepared for so that the idea of it doesn't make you feel weird I guess! I think because so much brain development happens in the early 20s + all the stress of living outside the structure of the school environment most ppl REALLY quickly feel very different from ppl who are still in the college mindset, like I remember already feeling that way when I was 23-24 LOL. It's definitely nice to connect with other ppl who have been out of school even for a little bit as they will just tend to understand where you're coming from a little better!

And yes, god, it's sometimes still a real struggle for me not to be hard on myself for how I acted when I was in undergrad even though lol, I was literally a child and had so much trauma I was dealing with on top of just simply being young. I think it's definitely worth knowing ahead of time that because you are in a way returning to an environment you were in at a very different time of your life, you can often be really painfully reminded of how you felt at that time. It can be good ultimately bc you can work through some of those old wounds you didn't even realize you still had, but it's been the most helpful for me to just remind myself that I was really young and doing the best I could at the time!