#i feel like I'm being overly criticised and NOTHING HAPPENED

[shipping1addict]

Being an apprentice in your 20s and learning new skills is all fun and interesting. I just don't wanna be treated like a child and I feel like the system and the people still act like I am.

[detectivenyx]

I'm glad that there are a lot instaronpas out there as they provide fangan content at a faster pace (mainly because they are essentially comic strips rather than animated videos or an entire fangame). However, every time I've read one, they have a decent daily life portion and interesting characters but then have uninteresting/underdeveloped murder mysteries that take 20-30 minutes to solve compared to video game/video series fanganronpas or danganronpa itself. There could be execeptions though.

i get why the murder mysteries are underdeveloped - dialogue between characters happens in every story. since they do not hinge on a mystery, people replay these often. but the murder mysteries are seen as unreplayable, since you already know the answers. a second playthrough can cement which trials are good (a 2nd playthrough was what determined trial 4 of sdr2 was a steaming pile of garbage), but rarely is a reason seen to go back. people also erroneously assume a murder is easy to write. they're very difficult, only outclassed in complexity to write by maybe massive sprawling conspiracy mysteries. beginning writers toss themselves into the deep end by going 'i can definitely write a Danganronpa'. even earlier games tended to be more on the subdued side with their mysteries (trial 1 of the first game takes about an hour to complete).

with that said, it doesn't make the experience any better for the reader. i feel like there shouldn't be any shame when saying a mystery sucked, even in a fan project. i don't like the idea that nothing fanmade can be criticised, that only praise is acceptable. it shouldn't be up to the standards of the canon games, but some of these fan projects present really poorly thought out ideas with offensive implications (eg, a fangan by a singlet where someone's SpLiT pErSoNaLiTy kills someone and the SpLiT pErSoNaLiTy is the reason why), and that should be criticised without some overly sensitive cranberry tart throwing up the fanmade project defense.

even when it's not offensive, fangans tend to get... very formulaic with their mysteries, and use the oversimplified jokes as an actual blueprint on how to structure their trial with no variation whatsoever. determine how victim died, oh everyone but Pippi Longstocking has an alibi - BUT PIPPI LONGSTOCKING WAS ACCUSED IN THE 'RED HERRING' PHASE OF THE TRIAL SO SOMEONE'S ALIBI IS FALSE, it turns out Grumpy Bear's alibi was only a technicality, and because Grumpy Bear got accused in the Real Culprit Phase™ of the trial, he is the legit culprit. and oftentimes, because they're working off this blueprint rather than the logical outcome of a mystery, it can feel very stale - like they came up with a body discovery first (not 'who died', but the pretty screaming picture of their corpse), then the culprit, and the 'how he got that way' comes dead last, when it should be the other way around when writing mystery. you write a mystery backwards - you can't ever read it as a mystery, so you need to let go of that illusion of being able to experience the story the way your readers do.

i did a video on the topic a while ago, but even if someone thinks i'm a dick who doesn't know what they're talking about (the 'dick' part is fair but the 'doesn't know what she's talking about' bit is Not), they can easily google or search up how to write murder mysteries and get some tips and pointers. hell, they don't even have to travel out of the DR related videos since Wince Media also made a video on the topic.

[eversoslinky]

The "Marilyn" effect

I've been wanting to write a Marilyn blog for a long time, on several occasions I've attempted to and the blog may have been jumped on seconds after it was posted with people wanting to correct and criticise what I've written. So for this blog I will discuss what Marilyn means to me personally and you can not dispute this... no historical inaccuracies. This is my opinion and what this woman means to me and seeing as the chances are you don't know me you can't argue with what it felt like being a fourteen year old girl seeing Niagara for the first time or being a twenty nine year old woman and being about to relate to her even more now. I model and post pictures of myself nude or in lingerie I'm mainly inspired by Bettie Page or Marylin. Any girl can look like Marilyn put on some red lipstick and bleach your hair blonde and there you go! You might even put on a white dress and draw in that cute little beauty mark. Would Marylin be disappointed that she is remembered in this way? She's been reduced to a hair colour and a lipstick shade. Probably. Did she want to be remembered as a serious actress? Definitely. As a fourteen year old girl I wanted to look like her so much I bought my first red lipstick, at sixteen I saved up my money to bleach my mousey hair a bright platinum blonde at seventeen I remember looking in a full length mirror and crying cause someone said I looked like a "flat chested Marilyn Monroe." (I had the tiny twenty inch waist and curvaceous backside but my 30AA bra size didn't exactly scream "sexy") at twenty nine I know I'll never look like Marilyn and that's ok. She was so incredibly beautiful but I'll never have her gorgeous measurements, I can however be like her in other ways...

Marilyn (Norma Jean) was an intelligent and ambitious woman. She was smart and that is the inspiration I take from her. The more I learnt about her the more I see parts of myself reflected back at me, not just the fact that our horroscopes are so alike it's uncanny . (A Gemini with a Leo rising) but as an adult I'm feeling the frustration she possibly once felt wanting to challenge herself as an actress in a world where she was strictly typecast. In my pictures I post on my Instagram I'm teasing - not overly sexual I'm in lingerie, stockings, heels, sometimes even nude but very carefully posed. It's like a burlesque show ; you can see EVERYTHING but at the same time you can see NOTHING at all. The parts that are maybe considered the most sexually exciting are covered up. It's all about the power of suggestion.

Of course what I'm wearing (or not wearing as is often the case) is irrelevant. It's not important at all. It's all just a ploy to get you to read what I write. I'm just like anyone who knows they've got some important stories to share. I know I've got to share them to the masses and what gets people's attention more than anything? Sex. Nudity. and pretty much anything that can be conveyed as a "fetish" now a days. I don't mind people following me after all that is one more person who is reading what I have to say. But there are some people who miss the point of what I stand for completely. They think I'm laying on a bed in stockings and suspenders permanently, arching my back in pleasure and pouting. I don't eat, sleep or have any family or friends. I'm a "thing" and I just LOVE talking to strange men online, I'm there for them and only them. I must reply back to every single one of their mind numbing messages. No, no, no, no! I HAVE A BRAIN!!! Marilyn had to deal with this crap back in the 1950s! She was treated as a "thing" and she resented it. Men are fine with me being "sexy" but when I want to write about my health problems I get so much abuse. One guy even messaging me to tell me to "cheer up" and "A girl who looked like me could never be suicidal" Actually... someone who looks like me can quite easily be, I wish I was overweight and my skin would break out in spots. I want someone to look at me and think "I'll bet she's a really funny, kind hearted person." Or "I'd love to marry that woman and have children with her." Instead I get creeps telling me about their fetishes and getting angry with me when I tell them I don't have any. My number one fantasy is honestly falling in love and making a nice home with my husband. (I've just literally shoved them all in an ice cold shower!)

Some people (mainly woman) may say "I'm asking for it" by posing in a sexual way. They might even tell me I should be flattered that I get attention of this kind. Let me put it this way : someone telling you they like your picture and they think you look sexy is extremely flattering no matter who it is. You say "Thank you for the compliment" and move on. Someone constantly messaging you sending you naked photos of themselves and demanding some photos of you in return is harassment. I believe this only happens to me cause some women have such a low opinion of themselves they put up with it. I won't and I don't think Marilyn would either.

Marilyn was not her bleach blonde hair or full red pouting lips, she was not her twenty inch waist or voluptuous chest. She was a person who thought and felt deeply. One of her biggest goals in life was to be a mother, she absolutely adored children and miscarried many times throughout her short life. What gets talked about alot is her supposed affairs... which is in itself a contradiction. The most beautiful women in the world would not need to take another woman's man off her. She could have any man she wanted, she wouldn't stoop so low as to share a man with any woman. Just like Marilyn I've been shoved into a category and told who I am, told that I can't be both sexy and smart. Laughed at when I speak about something I believe in and told to take my clothes off instead of write. The best thing I can do to honour Marilyn's memory and pay respect to her isn't getting a boob job, bleaching my hair or wearing a bright red lip (as my sixteen year old self would have thought) it's using what I've got to make people sit up, take notice and challenge people's stereotypes as often as possible. I'll always wonder what Marilyn would have achieved had she of lived a longer life...

[addershade]

A Semi-Stuctured Rant on Antishipping, Fujoshi Culture and the monetization of Homosexuality in Japanese and American Media

Antishippers are homophobic and it's bothering me. But also so are fujoshis and that bothers me too

Part One: Antishippers

Where there sails a ship ship so to the antishippers let fly their flags. A common argument I see painted on the bows of their warships is 'This character hasnt been stated as gay yet don't ship them with them.'

This is such a problematic sentence I don't even know where to begin. The fact that people view the default state of sexuality as 'straight until declared gay' creates the stigma that being homosexual is in some way deviant or taboo.

As an example: nobody has a problem with Todoroki being shipped with Momo despite them having minimal character interaction and very little shared dialogue in the show. Yet because they have been seen together in one (1) episode it has even been assumed canon on the same level as Izuku and Ochako which it quite simply is not.

Compare this to Bakugo and Kirishima who have several scenes together, most in even more intimate settings than Todoroki and Momo (study date, walking home at sunset together, the money scene, the rescue, I could go on) yet since the creator has not OUTRIGHT stated that either of these two are gay they have been assumed straight. Antishippers never go after TodoMomo in the same way they do KiriBaku.

I've seen people go as far as to say it would never happen, the creator would never do something so radical as to include one (1) gay couple. Despite the already pretty strong LGBTQ+ presence in the show with characters like Tiger, Big Sis Magne and Toga. These three have their own problems (an issue for another time) but they are there and that's a big step forward that people like to forget about.

Also, is the concept of 'we don't get good gay representation in the media so we write our own' really such a hard thing to grasp? Because it shouldn't be. Gay representation in media is scarce and even if its there it might not be handled sensitively (cough cough banana fish cough) and people naturally would want to go out of their way to provide it for themselves. Because representation is important. Straight, cis, white men really wouldn't understand because they are represented in literally everything all the time so I geuss they can't really fathom not being able look at the main character and go 'it me.' Which is why they put up such a fuss about every single time a woman is cast as the lead role. In anything. But I digress.

My point is basically this: Characters with undefined sexualities are obviously going to draw people in and be used as a comfortable, familiar and interesting starting point to create someone you can resonate with on a deeper level. Especially if there's nothing contradicting your head canon. And even if there is, who cares? There's plenty of straight characters already, representation is not pie and also they aren't real people so thats an extra helping of 'it shouldn't bother you.'

Oh I forgot to mention this rant only extends to fictional character antishippers because I think shipping real people is icky and shouldn't happen regardless of sexuality.

Part Two: Fujoshi Culture

Yes there are straight gals and guys that fetishise it (the male version is a fudanshi at least get it right people) and that's gross and unforgivable please stop doing it.

I would argue however this epidemic is caused by the fact that media, eastern and western alike, refuses to normalise gay relationships. Which means they see it as this sick fetish thing and call it 'sinning.' The literal terms fudanshi and fujoshi are derogatory and paint enjoying 'yaoi' as a guilty pleasure, something to be ashamed of and ridiculed.

And I'd bet my bottom dollar that Japan would want to keep it that way because it does work to sell their mangas.

Nagisa really sums up the whole issue in 50 percent off here's the clip:

https://youtu.be/c_xwtbrXbZM

Part Three: Western Focus

I just want to point out how half hearted and overly subtle these relationships have to be, like you're sneaking it past the republicans like the producers dirty little secret.

Good examples from both sides are Bubbeline, KoraSami, All of Voltron and Literally Any Gay Man In Anime Except Yuri on Ice. Although Yuri on Ice is still pretty coy about admitting that their characters are in a gay relationship.

KoraSami, Bubbeline and Shiro x Shiro's flashback buddy are all western depictions. Being gay in western media is much less commercialised and much less marketable, which is why the main issue with all of these were the writers pushing for something that was then only really confirmed either in: a very heavily fought for kiss last episode or the love story told entirely in (two bros chilling in a hot tub style) flashbacks where said love interest dies in the same episode. None of these are good representation and I don't think I have to spell out why.

Anyway this is another video that sums it up better than I can

https://youtu.be/TOj4WfQPNlk

Part 4: The Bad, The Worse and the Ugly

tw: s*xual a*sault mentioned (part 5 is safe)

I'll be quick

Anime like Banana Fish and Black Butler really like to perpetuate the stereotype that gay men are only gay because they have been r*ped by sick, twisted older men.

As a gay man who has been s*xually a*ssulted in the way that they like to pretend defined my sexuality I can say that this is insulting, triggering and Never. Ever. Handled. Properly. Anime has some issues with sexuality as a whole but it really takes the cake when characters like Ash are abused in real time in the anime and then it's used to 'justify' their promiscuity with men moving forward.

Banana Fish in no way handles the sexual assault tactfully, no matter what people have said to me.

This is an extract I agree with heavily from a pretty well written article (Banana Fish spoilers) :

I mentioned earlier the finale sent an awful message to new viewers. Ash’s story was about survival so for him to easily give up, in the end, sent a horrible message to survivors of sexual violence because it not only told them a moment of vulnerability would get them killed, but the only way survivors could find any peace was through death. The fact that Ash gave up, told survivors they could never escape from their traumas and despite all their efforts, they would never be able to heal from their abusive circumstances.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/thatnerdyboliviane.com/2019/01/21/banana-fish-a-bittersweet-experience/amp/

'Kill your gays' is a bad trope in any case but really was an especially poor choice here.

Part 5: Sex Sells and Gay Sex Advertises

I've mentioned above how manga and anime likes to package gay relationships into problematic little bundles and sell it to straight women as a curiosity or oddity. But I really think that it needs to be talked about more. Things shouldn't be more interesting to you just because they're gay, and fetishising minorities is never okay in any context.

I think it's important to note that really the attitudes in both Western and Japanese media are actually the exact same. That being, Gay people are 'others' and should at all costs be hidden away into corners. The only real difference is that Japan is known for selling that kind of content, lumping it in the same category as tentacle hentai and... I don't know any other categories but the point stands. Whereas western media tends to just sequester it into a corner and hope it gets past censorship boards and Karen's. Money is at the forefront of both of these descisions.

It's a real problem that both sides of the anime culture are so problematic. One side is way too into it and the other can't begin to process it.

Here's a video by the same person that covers basically the same ground that's concerning me so much.

https://youtu.be/t3FKlqDocQ4

Part 6: In conclusion

I feel like this is something that is worth being angry about. I'm just sick of how being gay is treated at the moment in anime, tv and film, and how it's being received by straight audiences. The LGBTQ+ community barely seems to get a real say half of the time because people are too busy being head over heels that the author confirmed in an interview that a character is bi or gay but never follows through with it in universe. Or when you try and create content for yourself and get criticised like you were supposed to be happy about what little representation you get in mainstream media. Like shows do the bare minimum and then we're supposed to be happy about it. But I ain't. And I don't think many other people are either.

TLDR:

Gay people being treated like a taboo little secret on both sides of the issue is insulting and gross and never leads to anything good.

[tom--harding]

I've decided that I'm going to send you this

It's up to you obviously if you read this and everything else I've written about you ever. I wouldn't be surprised if you get this far and then change your mind. I know you, and I can tell by the fact you won't talk to me that you are probably more upset than I think. Either that you're honestly not bothered and resolutely pleased with your decision. What I can safely say now is I think, through my reasoning that you've come to your decision from a few different things, but I believe that directly or not, your parents have played a part in it. I really wonder now if they didn't like me or that they didn't approve. Maybe that's why I didn't meet them for so long? It's so weird that the weekend I did finally meet them is the 4 week mark you claim you've had doubts.. then a week without me on holiday and what we had is done. My gut is telling me that it wasn't they didn't approve, but the recent circumstances have just put a lot of pressure on the family and your relationship with them. I feel bad for that, even though I shouldn't as I tried to be as supportive as possible, however I do think maybe that had a big impact. The only other factor I can really deduce which would get you to change your mind so significantly is that you've went selling to someone else? Someone who doesn't have all the irritating qualities I do... like always being late, bad pet names, giving you the nagging look, criticises too much, always being judgemental... I'm sure there is much more. You were quite nice at the weekend, "there's been some things which have just built up"... why didn't I ask what they were? Would you have even told me? I feel like over time not thinking about what I was saying because I thought you wouldn't care or maybe to in love with me for it too matter. Whoops... I don't know the real actual reasons. Will you ever tell me? Everyone gives different ideas and reasons and perspective. Someone today was the first person to tell me to try and win you back. I want too. I mean I've convinced you twice before, but this time... I feel different. I don't know what the point is? I could ran after you.. I offered an olive branch today.. and you just ultimately ignored me. What old will be being overly romantic make? You feel bad and decide it is worth another go? Another wonderful 3 months followed by another 'Claire Little Emotional Breakdown'?. Instead of using my time with you on Saturday to understand why or ask what's happened, I was too busy being upset and telling you I knew it was coming... so why on earth wasn't I better prepared? I feel better about it all today. I haven't cried so far. I've talked to lots of people, which has helped. Loads of people find out and have shown me how many good friends around me I have, but I sacrificed a lot to put my effort into time with you. My choice, you never asked. But you were the most important thing to me in a year and a half. You still are. I would die for you right now, believe it or not. Which is ridiculously considering I'm sitting here saying I don't think you're worth me trying to win back!? Ha ha... but I still love you, and still shaking the feeling that you're the love of my life. But I can see it now.. the glimmer of hope that actually, you aren't.. and that you have just been the biggest DH the last 8 months and lied to both of us... I have wanted, still (?!) want to know that it's you I can grow old with and see how your life changes and do all the silly thing together like teach you to whistle or making ravioli for the first time, or explore Italy.. but... and it's a real but.. I do believe I can see a life without you now. And that's something altogether terrifying and sad. I can see it, but it doesn't mean I want it. But you do, and that's why we are here. That's why I'm in Cambridge convincing my parents I am not going to kill myself and you're probably in the train.. though as it's a Thursday I wouldn't be surprised if you're with work friends having some wine. Either way, your decision is what has meant I'm now pouring my heart out into a website. I've been so brutally honest in this, it's scares me now that I've sent you the address knowing you may read it all. But I have nothing left to lose now. I am bared to you as I am the world. I am laid out before you, vulnerable and needing, wishing for the pasts future that was promised. You can read what thoughts I have left of you here, if you desire. I am sure there are many, many more to run through my head. Please be gentle with what you left of me. X