#i feel i've made this exact post already but i can't find it so if i have... please ignore it and act like it's a new thing

[leatherbookmark]

thinking abt jin rusong again. specifically his death. sorry songsong

there was this person who argued that it was shown in an obvious manner that jgy was the one who killed jrs, because jgy explains that the dagger’s blade shows the faces of people it killed -> qs looks at it --> suddenly grabs the knife and kills herself, the obvious interpretation being that she saw jrs’s face. and it’s plausible! especially if you consider that jgy’s feelings towards his son were, shall we say, conflicted, and that he as a weaker cultivator would probably have a harder time resisting the dagger’s Murderous Aura. it would have been enough for jrs to accidentally wander into the secret torture room!

but personally i have 2 problems with it, namely

That’s Not What Sect Leader Yao Said!

jgy’s fear of other people.

ehhhhh

1) in itself is uhhh problematic because sect leader yao is not the most reliable source of information etc etc. at the same time, i feel like wwx, who managed to figure out the thing with the soul-eating goddess statues and well as everything about jgy post-guanyin, wouldn’t just miss something as obvious as this.

i’m talking about the fact that according to sect leader yao, jrs was poisoned. not stabbed. last year i made a post about it based on cql subtitles, but i checked both the japanese translation and the original novel text, and indeed: 毒殺, 毒害.

of course, one could argue that wwx doesn’t really give a fuck about jgy and the whole case is just an interesting puzzle to him. well, sometimes he goes “oh yikes”. he would have no reason to care about how exactly jgy’s kid died, whether by poison or a dagger. but again, after the events of the guanyin temple he talks about jgy’s mother, even though with his current knowledge of jgy having done It All Some Of It, it would be perfectly understandable if he gave even less fucks, bye everyone, the bushes are waiting.

2) is... slightly complicated, but basically it just doesn’t work for me characterization-wise. jgy says to nmj in the stairs conversation that he’s scared of everything -- not only the heavens, but also people. obviously, that applied to nmj in particular, but also there’s jgs, who holds jgy’s life in his hands, there’s madam jin with her less spectacular but no less painful physical abuse, there are people in general, powerful cultivators or not, who wouldn’t bat an eye before tearing him down one vicious rumor after another, and finally, there’s everyone in that he just doesn’t feel safe. he doesn’t trust anyone not to turn away from him, not to withdraw their friendship and affection when he’s not convenient or helpful to them anymore. according to his words, the man is in a state or perpetual paranoia and insecurity.

he doesn’t even tell his future wife that they’re siblings! i’m firmly in the camp They Were In Love -- otherwise why the fuck would they fight for the marriage to happen -- so imagine the state of mind jgy must have been in to hide something like This from the woman he loved. from the woman that loved him first! and fought people to be with him!

why am i talking about it? because people like to call jgy an expert manipulator, and i’d like to call bullshit.

an expert manipulator probably should not be shaking like a chihuahua for every single moment of their life. some ways of manipulating people, crowds in particular, are easy -- you don’t need to be a genius to carefully drop a few allusions to the yiling patriarch and how dangerous he might be, etc, etc, and Just So Accidentally end up with an angry mob. but i feel it it significantly more difficult to get a specific person to do exactly what you want, in particular when that person is in a state of extreme shock. you’d have to feel confident that you can predict all their reactions, and this is not something jgy would say about himself.

because... qs says she wishes she’d never met him. she slaps him. who’s to say that she wouldn’t grab the dagger and stab him? or even -- if she couldn’t bring herself to do it -- scream and say what she saw reflected in the blade? jgy knows why wwx&co are there, and he knows that another accusation wouldn’t help him. out of possible outcomes, there’s one that ends badly for qs, silencing her forever, and at least two that end badly for jgy himself. and if anything can be said about jgy, it’s that he does everything he can to survive. i just don’t think he’d risk that! also -- others could look at the dagger too, and confirm that qs said the truth, and while technically jgy could say that wellll yes, the murderer killed a-song with this dagger... it really falls apart quicker than a wet tissue.

so: either jgy is scared of everything and everyone all the time, OR he’s a skillet skilled manipulator. if he was a skilled manipulator, he would’ve avoided many unpleasant things, having manipulated people out of hurting him. he would have manipulated the jianghu into thinking he’s the best dude ever, lxc into never ever ever doubting him, and qin su into... that as well. she’d get the letter and her first thought would be ‘my a-yao would never...! someone is trying to frame him!’ and poor bicao would be dead fifteen minutes later.

(bonus: re: sending jzxuan after jzxun, i’m... not quite sure. of course, it would be perfectly valid of him to want to kill two annoying peacocks birds with one yiling laozu stone; i think the fact that everyone kissed the ground jzx walked on when he was an awkward mess at best and a pompous asshole at worst, when jgy wasn’t even the son you push into the background but a literal servant doing the dirtiest, most humiliating and unpleasant jobs, was already infuriating enough to warrant wanting at least one person dead.

still: as jgy said, he couldn’t have predicted that things would go this bad, and i choose to believe him. it would’ve been bad enough if wwx had lost control and made wn fight, not kill or injure but just fight jzx -- that would show everyone present that he’s not harmless at all, and the lanling jin sect is doing a good thing by seizing his superweapon and dealing with him. and the fact that wwx helped their case so much, well. shit happens?)

finally, 3) or my personal thinky thoughts:

if he wanted to kill jrs, thinking him an abomination, why wait? why allow him to be born at all, if he could have slipped qs appropriate herbs into her morning tea many, many times? okay, technically she could have gotten over losing the first pregnancy and asked him to try again -- but he could have refused and given her many arguments, including but not limited to “i’m still grieving what could have been”, “i’m scared it’s my fault”, or even “sooo there was this night hunt and uh. my dick doesn’t work anymore :-(”. jl was already the heir, and jgy wasn’t everyone’s favourite, so it wasn’t like it would be a huge disappointment (or a surprise) if he and qs had no children.

and like. yes, i guess “only son dying tragically as a toddler/child” would traumatize qs more, but there’s still no guarantee that she wouldn’t eventually ask him for another child! it’s a Very Weird way of purposefully making sure you never have to bang your sister again, is what i’m saying.

finally -- okay, suppose that that one sect leader really was stubborn and bitchy about the watchtowers. why doesn’t lanling jin, the richest of the sects, simply pay him to shut the hell up? i’m not saying jgy is the most logical of men, but surely that’s easier than fabricating a whole murder and killing a whole sect as punishment.

[s-awturn]

Drivers and their romantic tropes || F1 Grid

cw: insults, rivalry, fighting, superficiality, suggestive behavior, almost obscene — if you squint your eyes — romance, age gap, cuteness, love and blah blah blah

starring: LH44, CS55, CL16, LN4, OP81, MV1

a/n: I've probably found a new addiction? Making headcanons is so much fun, I can feel the obsession with this format coming on. By the way, I'd love to hear your suggestions (it's just a tip,I'm not suggesting anything 🤭

LEWIS HAMILTON - Age Gap

Being Charles' younger cousin gave her some privileges like going to parties and the paddock whenever she wanted or meeting the drivers and other celebrities, and that's how you met Lewis. Of course you already knew who the Million Dollar Man was, but in person it was all better — and damn, he was so much better in person. The attraction between you was immediate and for a long time Lewis denied what he felt, You were much younger than him and you were still Charles' favorite cousin, meaning it was obvious that you were overprotected by the Monegasque. Which reduced any possibility of a relationship between you and the British pilot to zero.

However, there are no forces sufficient to prevent the universe from moving its strings in any way it wants, so it wasn't long before you and Lewis were making out in every free corner, be it the driver's lounge, the Ferrari motorhome or one of the secluded spots at the team parties. Eventually, the attraction between Lewis and you grew to the point where it became something strong and lasting, well, Charles' efforts to keep you away from Lewis were in vain.

You adored Lewis, you loved how he took care of you, how he made it clear that you were his priority, Lewis treated you like no other guy your age had ever treated you.

Lewis would never admit that he liked how much older he was than you, he loved the way you trusted his experience and maturity, allowing him to take care of you in the best way possible, because there is nothing he loves more than making sure his little girl is completely happy.

CARLOS SAINZ - Fake Dating

Carlos needed a fake girlfriend to calm the media and you needed a miracle to cover your student expenses, so the two of you ended up combining business with pleasure. The two of you made a deal, you just had to pretend in front of the media and friends — everyone had to believe the charade, even family members — you were supposed to accompany him on some races and root for him, post pictures together, and Carlos would pay for everything you needed until you graduated, which was, more or less, another semester and a half. And most importantly, feelings could not be involved.

With everything combined, what could go wrong, right? But of course, everything went wrong the exact moment you realized that Carlos was the perfect boyfriend material.

How could you not fall in love with the guy who opened doors for you? Or who would pick you up at the university gates with a rose? You were getting involved and this went against the agreement you and Carlos had established. You couldn't tell if Carlos also ended up developing feelings in the meantime, he was a difficult man to scrutinize, and it was easy for you to assume that it wasn't reciprocated and before your heart was broken, you broke the agreement, returned everything Carlos had given you — as part of your act — and the money.

What you didn't know is that Carlos was in the same situation as you and it wasn't at all pleasant for him to find a note from you and all the gifts he had given you. You left and left him with just a "sorry, I can't anymore"; and in a few weeks, you didn't know how, but Carlos found you at the guesthouse where you were staying.

And there, standing in the hallway of that modest boarding house where you were staying, Carlos confessed to you, shouting that you couldn't leave him without him trying to win you over. You laughed and kissed him, because the Spaniard didn't need to try, he had already done it.

CHARLES LECLERC - Marriage of Convenience

Your family and Charles' family had been friends for years — really many years — and it only took one drunken night for your father and his to make an agreement, they would unite their families in marriage.

Her marriage to Charles.

And it was all well and good, if you two hadn't hated each other since the first time you saw each other. God knew you tried to be nice to Charles, but he took immense pleasure in being nothing short of unpleasant to you; he loved to laugh at you, he picked on you for everything you did, he handed you over to your parents when you were up to no good, so it didn't take long for you to start hating the boy.

You exchanged barbs at every opportunity you had, you begged your father to break off the engagement, after all you didn't want to marry someone who openly hated you. However, with the sudden death of Charles' father, any chance of breaking off the engagement fell by the wayside, and you were doomed to a failed marriage from the start because you hated your fiancé and it was completely reciprocated.

You tried to propose a deal to Charles, that you two break the commitment, he was adamant, there would be a wedding. And you didn't understand, why did he want to marry you if he hated you? With this doubt, you tested Charles' patience until he confessed that there was never any real hatred, he provoked you because he thought it was the only way to make you notice him.

Taken by surprise, you didn't know how to react other than to move away from him. You were confused by that revelation, both with Charles and with your own feelings; however, there was no distance really, because Charles almost set up camp on your doorstep. It was his turn to annoy you and it was no different, you fought until you ended up kissing. Not once, not twice, but several times until you both admitted that it was never hate, in fact. You two were married in the middle of spring, in a chateau in France,

LANDO NORRIS - Strange to Lovers

It all started with a blind date gone wrong, Lando ended up getting the wrong table and this resulted in the two of you talking until the restaurant closed and you two were asked to leave the place, only then did you discover that he was not the guy you were dating. Not that you thought it was bad, Lando was great! He was funny, witty and kind, he made sure to drop you off at home and took your phone, so what if he got the wrong table? He even had an amazing date with a stunning girl, so in the end, nothing had really gone wrong.

After that meeting, you unfortunately didn't go out anymore because of your racing schedule, but you exchanged messages every day, it didn't matter what the subject was, it could be something about Formula One or the puppy video you sent him. Talking to Lando was easy, it didn't even seem like you met by chance, when you noticed, you had already been talking for almost nine weeks, you had two more dates. On your first date, Lando insisted on taking you to an art gallery that had recently opened in London, on your second date, you took him to karaoke.

When you really realized it, Lando was no longer a stranger, you had his clothes in your drawers and he kept his skin care products in his bathroom cabinet. You and Lando had a firm agreement, to always talk, never go to bed angry, and never hide anything—not that you could hide anything, since you were already so intertwined with each other that nothing could remain hidden between you anymore.

You attended his races, whenever you had free time, Lando would be attending your exhibitions. Honestly, that wrong meeting was the best thing that happened to both of you.

OSCAR PIASTRI - Friends to Lovers

Friends since childhood, they went through all the stages of each other's lives, Oscar had been in your life for so long that you couldn't even imagine what it would be like without him. You supported him when he decided to become a pilot, you watched every race you could and in return, Oscar was at all of his college presentations.

People always thought you were more than friends, but Oscar always gave a shy smile and reinforced that you were just friends, you don't know when or how, but at some point it started to bother you. And that didn't make sense, because you were really just friends.

There was no you without Oscar and there was no Oscar without you.

When he managed to move up to F1, you made sure to buy a box of orange fireworks to celebrate, so what if you were living on the East Coast of the United States? Oscar deserved the fireworks. He made sure to send you a beautiful bouquet of tulips — orange because that was your color all along — a huge breakfast, and a sweet note when you graduated from college.

Little by little, the obligations of adult life, the racing calendar and everything else began to take up all of your time and this decreased the frequency of conversations between you and Oscar. You didn't even notice that you weren't talking to your best friend as often anymore, you only realized that you hadn't spoken to each other in weeks when the news broke that he was dating.

You didn't understand why it hurt so much, maybe because he didn't tell you or because he was dating an old colleague of yours... Either way, it hurt to know that, but you sent him a message, wishing him well. You talked for a while, but it felt strange, something had changed between you.

But you didn't focus on that, Oscar was happy and you were happy for him, so you put the discomfort aside, the important thing was that your best friend was radiant. Your feelings weren't important.

Maybe the boiling point was Christmas, you returned to Australia to spend the holidays with family, completely forgetting that the Piastri were also part of the family, so there was Oscar. You expected to find his girlfriend there, but it was just Oscar, your Christmas present, and his signature shy smile. When you asked where his girlfriend was, Oscar said he didn't have a girlfriend, and when you wanted to know why, his answer was very succinct: she wasn't you.

Your heart raced like an eight cylinder engine when he kissed you and fuck, that was the best Christmas ever.

MAX VERSTAPPEN - Enemies to Lovers

You were Max Verstappen's new teammate at Red Bull and if love at first sight existed, you and Max created hate at first sight. You hated each other so much, both on and off the track. You found Max to be impulsive, disrespectful and arrogant, concluding, for you, Max was a total idiot.

In Max's eyes, you were stubborn, showy, and nosy, completely irritating. You fought over everything, from the current strategy to the can of energy drink, the journalists loved the fight between you, the team tried to pacify in the best way, but you and Max? All it took was a spark for you to start a fire.

Your fans speculated that there was much more behind all the hate.

You don't remember which race it was, but it was in the middle of a chicane where you and Max were racing for first place when your front wings collided, you don't even know who crashed into who, you just remember spinning on the track and hitting the barrier. Max continued the race and took the podium that Sunday. You were furious when you arrived at the pits, just like Michael Schumacher at the 1998 Belgian GP. You were shaking with anger, your engineer tried to calm you down, your manager, but no one could calm your fury.

That was the worst fight you two ever had, it was bad enough that you decided to cut off all communication with Max, you felt like a pawn in his hands, you really thought he had used you to win the race, and you couldn't even explain how frustrated that made you.

This made things very bad within Red Bull, you deliberately ignored Max, you didn't even respond to his provocations anymore, it was as if Verstappen didn't even exist. And it bothered Max more than he would like to admit, it was like an itch that wouldn't go away. You couldn't ignore him forever.

Max approached you in the hotel hallway, he forced you to listen to him. You had to drag him into your room before the other guests witnessed another fight between the Red Bull drivers. None of you knew when or how, but when you realized it, you were tangled up in your bed, uttering insults between groans and pleas; after that night something changed, the rivalry remained as strong as before, in fact even more so, because you were hungry for the title of world champion, and wouldn't let her future marriage to Max get in the way of that. After all, friends are friends, business is business.

gif credits: lewishamiltongifs, bjeanesthings, cielolercs, formulacuties, delulujuls and isolatingmyself.

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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO S-AWTURN™ 🪐. I do not allow copying or republication. Any unauthorized publication will be reported.

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[pomefioredove]

Hi! This is very very specific, but…I've had a rough start to my day today, kinda relating to the topic of my request…

So I was wondering, would it be alright to request HCs of Jamil, Ruggie, Leona, Floyd and Rollo with a Reader who runs into an emotionally abusive/manipulative parent they haven't seen in a long time? The kind of subtle abuse that's hard to tell (from the inside, at least) is even abuse at all, and makes you doubt yourself a lot. Kinda narcissistic abuse

Kind of a hurt/comfort thing? Like how they'd deal with the bad parent and the Reader opening up a bit about it. Romantic or platonic, either one is good

Feel more than free to ignore if this kind of request isn't your thing: that's totally fine, I understand it's a bit heavy, not to mention very specific, so please do what makes you feel best. I hope you have a good day!

ahhh of course! I relate to this sort of thing a lot (although I don't use terms like narcissistic abuse since abuse is just abuse to me) and I know exactly what you mean. I love hurt/comfort and you're well within my boundaries since the only thing I wouldn't write pertaining to this topic is intimate partner abuse (like with an s/o). so you're perfectly fine! I enjoyed writing this <3

summary: comforting a reader with an abusive parent type of post: short fics characters: jamil, ruggie, leona, floyd, rollo additional info: reader is not specified to be yuu ("shrimpy" is used as a nickname during floyd's part tho), reader is gender neutral, food mention (ruggie's part), actual interaction w the parent happens during leona and rollo's parts, mentions/descriptions of emotional abuse, although reader is kinda vague about it

Jamil Viper

Jamil knows what it's like to feel stuck.

That's really all he has to know when he recognizes that look on your face.

Perhaps you usually wear your heart on your sleeves, or perhaps you're better at keeping your emotions to yourself, like him, but either way he can tell something is very wrong the second he sees you.

It's a bit strange, isn't it?

Surrounded by people in the cafeteria and yet no one seems to notice the shadow cast over you.

He tries to talk himself out of it for the rest of the day. He has enough on his plate as it is, and it's not his problem. He's Kalim's keeper, not yours.

But that sense of unease doesn't go away.

He drags himself out of bed and somehow finds himself at your door in the dead of night.

And even though it takes you a moment to answer, he can tell you were already awake.

"Here," he says, handing you a warm meal in a container. "I noticed you didn't eat today. We had leftovers."

You don't feel very much like eating, but you accept the gift, anyway. It smells amazing. His cooking always does.

"Thank you," you mumble.

You can't think of anything else to say.

"Are you... well, Kalim sent me to ask if you're feeling unwell," he lies through his teeth.

"I'm fine,"

Another lie, this time of your behalf, which annoys him ever-so-slightly.

"You're clearly not. Are you sick?" the question is vague enough, said in such a way that leaves you with the impression that he wasn't exactly referring to a physical illness.

"I've... had a rough day,"

Jamil is quiet for a moment, thinking to himself. And then: "Do you mind if I come in?"

He's always so careful with his words that such a direct (yet polite) request almost catches you off guard. You step to the side, letting him in your room.

"I don't mean to pry. I know it's not my place," he says, watching you close the door. "But... Kalim is worried. Yes."

You shake your head. "It's fine. I'll get over it,"

It.

What did "it" mean? Surely this couldn't just be a lousy day.

"Did something happen?"

You hesitate.

"Have you ever... ran into someone who made your life miserable? That you thought you moved on from... and it starts to feel like you're stuck in that place all over again?"

Of course. Of course he knows what that feels like.

He has to live through that exact experience every day, without even being able to move on.

But he can't just say that. And this is about you, after all.

"I'm familiar with the feeling. I suppose that's what's ruined your day, then?"

"That's one way to put it," you sigh, sitting at the edge of your bed. "Sometimes it feels like all the progress I've made is just... null. Like I'll never really move on."

He hates how much he's relating to you. How much you're affecting him, now, too.

He follows you to the bed and sits beside you.

"Someday, though, you will. It may feel hopeless now, but... you won't stay stuck forever,"

Unlike me, he thinks.

"How can you be so sure?"

"I can't be. But you don't strike me as someone to give up after hardship,"

Like me.

You're quiet for a moment, seemingly considering what he told you. And then you hug him.

A nice, soft hug. Not abrasive or sudden like the ones Kalim gives. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like.

"Thank you, Jamil,"

He hugs back. "Of course,"

Ruggie Bucchi

It was almost painful, watching you fumble with your wallet like that.

You couldn't seem to get the proper amount out, shaking like a leaf and apologizing profusely. Sam keeps telling you it's okay, but the line forming behind you is starting to grow restless.

Ruggie included.

He has places to be, after all, and he's got two whole crates of energy drinks to lug back to Savanaclaw.

He has half a mind to ask what the holdup is.

And so, he peers over your shoulder, ready to- oh, no. You're crying.

Damn it. Why can't things ever be easy for him?

He can't even chew someone out for taking up all his precious time without being thrown a curveball. And now he feels bad.

Sigh.

"Hey, I got this," he says, setting his heavy crates down on the counter and flashing a card.

Your eyes widen. "Oh, no, Ruggie, you don't have to-"

"Relax, it's Leona's money, not mine," he offers a grin, ignoring the tears trailing down your face. "He won't even notice it's missing."

The line behind you two breathes a collective sigh of relief (much to your embarrassment) and Ruggie shoots them a glare.

"I... I still can't accept this-" you start, before he quickly shushes you.

"Hey, if you wanna make it up to me, you can help me carry these things. I'll call it even,"

You're silent for a moment as Sam finishes ringing you both up, and then you take a crate. As quiet as ever. It's unnerving.

You're walking back to the Hall of Mirrors when Ruggie breaks that silence by bringing up your purchase. "So, what's up with the afternoon snack? Not that I'm judging- I'm jealous. I skipped lunch, shishishi,"

"Oh, it's nothing," you mutter. "Comfort food, I guess."

The concept of comfort food is extremely appealing to him. "Huh. Long day?"

"Something like that... Why'd you skip lunch?"

Trying to change the conversation topic? Clever. But he'll bite, anyway.

"Leona forgot some of his class stuff, so I had 'ta run and get it. Too bad he forgot where he left it... I was all over campus,"

"Did you find it?"

"Eventually. Or else I'd be busy getting my neck wrung instead of 'bein here with you,"

You nod, and the conversation swiftly dies.

After another awkward beat, he clears his throat. "So you... you wanna talk about it, or something?"

"What?"

"You know, your... your day," he mutters, shrugging. He's desperately trying to remember all of the things his grandma did for him when he was upset as a child. "Talking about it might... make 'ya feel better, y'know?"

You're quiet again, and for a moment Ruggie is worried he said something to offend you.

Then, much to his relief, your voice picks up. "I ran into someone today,"

"What? Like someone was giving you trouble?"

"No, not a student. Someone I don't see very much anymore. Um... I guess it just threw me off,"

He tilts his head to the side. "Why?"

"I don't... well, we don't get along very much. Something about them just makes me feel... very... small. Insignificant,"

You don't ask if he understands what you mean, but he does. Not that he'd ever admit that so openly to you at a time like this, but being small and insignificant is basically his job.

And as much as he likes the perks, he can imagine how rough it would be to deal with that and not get to use a bottomless credit card whenever the opportunity presented itself.

He struggles to respond for a moment.

"That's rough,"

Definitely not the sympathetic response he was going for. At least you don't seem to mind.

"I-I mean, sometimes we have to act small to survive. It's a part of life, 'ya know? But that doesn't mean you are small. Just surviving on its own is an accomplishment," he recovers from his earlier blunder, trying to smile. "You should be proud of yourself, if anything."

"That's..." you say. "That's one way of looking at it."

He sighs. "I'm not expressing myself very well, am I? What I'm trying to say is that you're not small or insignificant, and living life feeling like you are is a survival tactic at best,"

The both of you stop in front of Savanaclaw, and he offers another grin.

"And if you ever wanna talk about this stuff... well, I'm around... And you can come inside now, if you want. I could definitely find more stuff to carry!"

Leona Kingscholar

Leona Kingscholar is very, very much enjoying parent weekend alone, thank you.

Of course his folks don't want to attend a school event for their disappointment of a second son. Why would they care? And on Cheka's birthday weekend, no less...

But that didn't bother him. Not at all.

As long as he slept through the weekend without being bothered by any happy-go-lucky nuclear family units, he'd live.

That plan lasts about five hours.

"You'd be better off doing something more useful with your time. Sports, or science, or... something that might help your future. But if you're so sure... I suppose it's better to cut our losses now than put any more faith in you. You just can never decide, can you?"

That voice. Unfamiliar, but drawling, laced with poison. Aggravating enough to stir Leona from his nap in the botanical gardens.

And it's getting closer.

"I just don't understand. Why get accepted into one of the most prestigious schools in the world just to spend your time goofing off?" a long sigh. "But as long as you're happy... we just want what's best for you."

Leona grumbles, turning over and trying to drift back to sleep.

"I'm trying,"

This voice is different. No- he recognizes it. It's yours.

"Are you? You know I know what's best for you, right?"

Sevens. This is your parent speaking to you? No wonder you've been acting all jittery lately.

He sits up, giving up on his nap, and continues listening in.

"I know," you say. "I really am trying, though."

"Did I say you weren't? Don't speak for me,"

This is getting ugly. Leona stands, stepping out of the shrubbery and clearing his throat behind the two of you.

You're the first to turn. "Oh- Leona! Sorry, we didn't mean to disturb you,"

"You're fine," he snaps, sharp eyes turning to your parent beside you. "Who's this, then?"

"This is-"

"Their parent," they go ahead and introduce themselves, cutting you off as if you weren't speaking at all. Like you're a piece of furniture hanging in the background. He's not a fan.

"Really? From the way you were talking, I would have guessed that you were their coach. Or boss,"

Your eyes dart between the two. "Leona-"

"You're fine," he reaffirms. "I was just looking for you, anyway. We really have to talk."

You pause, raising an eyebrow. He? Wants to talk to you? Now?

"Is it important?" your parent asks. The question is directed at you, although he answers.

"Very. I was just coming to ask you, very politely, I might add, to reconsider my offer,"

"Your... offer...?"

Your parent looks down at you. "What's he talking about?"

"Can't blame you for forgetting. I'm sure you're busy with all your... school... things. But I do have to ask you to rejoin the spelldrive club. We're in shambles without you,"

He gives you a certain look, one that clearly reads "Go along with it."

Leona Kingscholar offering an olive branch to someone is a rare occurrence. So you take it.

"Oh! Right, I have been busy with school. I've been meaning to get back to you..."

Your parent looks between the two of you with just the faintest hint of confusion, and then frustration. "You've been playing spelldrive? When was I going to hear about this?"

"They haven't been playing with us," Leona says, a small smirk already forming. "They're the team manager. They're way too smart to be out on the field- no, they're running the team, they're organizing everything, their strategy is like nothing we've ever seen. If only they were in Savanaclaw, we might have a chance at winning one of these years."

"Uhhh..." you start, looking between your parent and the oddly friendly and receptive clone that's replaced Leona. "...Yeah, right."

"Now, if you'll excuse us, we really have to discuss official club matters," he says, shooing away your parent until they eventually give in and leave.

As soon as they're out the door, you turn to him. "What w-"

"Are you alright?" he asks.

Stunned would be an understatement. "I'm fine,"

"Really? Cause you're looking at me like a gazelle caught in headlights,"

"I-I guess it's just been hard... having them here,"

Leona nods, closing his eyes as he thinks to himself. Then, he sighs.

"Yeah. I get that. Come on, then,"

You raise an eyebrow as he starts off in the opposite direction. "What? Where are we going?"

"Somewhere quiet and warm to nap. Being around that person sucked all the energy right out of me, I can't imagine how exhausted you feel,"

He turns to look over his shoulder with a smile. "With any luck, we'll avoid them for the rest of the weekend,"

Floyd Leech

Of course, he can tell something's up right away.

Well... maybe it takes him a little while to tune into the conversation, but once he does, he notices you've been... awfully quiet throughout it.

His favorite little shrimpy? All sad? Moping around like a kicked puppy?

Now this catches his attention.

"Bored?" he asks. It's his first guess.

"Hm?" you ask, looking back at him. "No, I'm fine."

"But you're not,"

"Okay, I'm a little distracted,"

Now that, he can understand. But there's still something very off about the whole thing that he can't quite put his finger on.

"You're not telling me something," he states, matter-of-factly, crossing his arms.

You raise an eyebrow. "...And?"

"And I wanna know. I'm not letting you leave until you tell me,"

Your thought process is probably ranging somewhere between "oh, no," and "oh NO," by now.

"I sweaaar, it's nothing," you insist. "I just had a bad day, okay?"

"Why?"

There's no turning back now. He's invested, and until he loses interest, you're stuck here.

"It was... just... long. Can I go now? I have things to do,"

He frowns, and stands, and then puts you in a headlock. "Alright, where're we 'goin?"

"FLOYD!"

He drags you along with him, remembering not to be too rough as he takes you from place to place on his dailies. You begrudgingly learn to accept it.

When you walk back into the Mostro Lounge, Azul and Jade don't even bat an eye.

"You're thirty minutes late- ah, why do I bother?" Azul says, rifling through a stack of papers on his desk. He only looks up when he catches a glimpse of you. "Oh. Hello, there."

You wave half-heartedly. "Can I get some help?"

"Floyd. What is the meaning of this?" he asks.

Floyd pouts. "There's 'somethin wrong with them and they won't tell me what,"

"Are they ill?"

You lower your eyes at the two as they speak like you're not even there. "Hello?"

"Nah, they feel fine. They're all mopey, though,"

Azul hums to himself, lost in thought. And then: "Well, figure out what it is, and get to work, if you please,"

"Azul!" you shout. He ignores you.

Floyd drags you back outside the office and sits down with you at one of the tables, waving to concerned lounge-goers as they pass by.

"Now will you tell me?"

"Geez, alright, alright. I give up, you win," you sigh. "I... well, my parent was here earlier. At school. And we talked, and they... said some not-very-nice things to me. That's why I've been upset, okay?"

Floyd's smile immediately drops. "I win? But that's not a very good prize,"

"Tell me about it,"

"Why would anyone be mean to you, anyway? You're the best shrimpy I know!"

You avert your eyes. "It wasn't... mean... per se. Just... not nice,"

"Sounds mean to me," he mutters. "I don't get it."

"Well, sometimes these things just... don't make sense. It's my fault, anyway," you sigh.

His gaze sharpens at that. "'An who told you that? You didn't do anything! I'm starting to really dislike this parent of yours,"

His sudden mood swing doesn't phase you, but it does lift your spirits... just the tiniest bit. Even if you wouldn't admit that to yourself. "Hey, it's fine. I'm over it,"

"You sure you don't want me to squeeze 'em?"

"Heh. No, that's okay. I would like you to let me go, though,"

His eyes widen at the sudden realization he still has you in a headlock and he quickly releases you.

You sit up, stretching and rubbing the back of your neck. "Thanks,"

"My arm was starting to hurt, anyway..." he thinks for a moment, looking back to the office door. "Ya think I can use that to get out of working? I wanna spend more quality time with my favorite shrimpy. You could use it!"

You look to the door and shrug. "Hey, worth a try, right?"

Rollo Flamme

Out of all the things to ruin the day, of course it had to be your parent.

The disappointment between the two of you was palpable. And even though it was only a brief encounter, it was enough to sour the rest of the afternoon for the both of you.

The first thing Rollo noticed, of course, was the manner in which they carried themselves. As an authoritative, important figure, puffing out their chest and towering over you. What gave them the right...?

They were not a leader, nor a public figure, nor anyone of interest, if your earlier mentions of them gave him any idea. Nothing but an adult who spoke to the both of you as if you were tiny children.

He loathed being talked down to.

Perhaps he should have said something sooner than he did, and perhaps he should have said something more than the interruption he used to excuse you from the conversation.

And now you're just quiet.

"Are you well?" he asks, looking at you from the corner of his eyes.

You shrug.

"I apologize for not speaking on your behalf sooner. I did not want to be rude,"

No response at all.

Your silence was driving him mad. He couldn't get a good read on what you were feeling when you kept looking away like that.

"If you'd like to return home early, I would understand and escort you promptly,"

"No,"

A response. Not a good one, but a response nonetheless.

"May I ask you a question?" though he doesn't really wait for your permission to go on. "Why do they speak to you like that?"

That comment seems to jolt you, and you turn to look at him with wide eyes. "What? Speak to me like what?"

He struggles for the right words.

How could he describe it? It was so... odd. The words they spoke to you didn't sound cruel, but there was something sinister lurking beneath them. And not even in the typical "polite for the sake of it" sense.

Each response they gave was laced with a sort of venom that seemed to sting you. You had grown quiet, distant, as if you weren't really there at all.

Of course he was familiar with such tactics. He could weave his own words with ease. But you had done nothing wrong- you were guiltless. Why were you being punished?

He couldn't quite come up with an answer.

"You seemed uncomfortable," he finally says, looking away again. "I apologize for such an experience happening to you under my watch."

"It's not your fault,"

"It certainly isn't. And it's not yours, either,"

A blanket of silence falls over the two of you until he speaks again.

"You have nothing to feel bad about," he reaffirms.

Another pause.

"And I don't mean to intrude. But if you ever need my assistance, you know where to find me,"

[ghostfest]

Void State/Trance State Method [ADHD/No Focus Friendly.]

I've used quite a few methods to get into the void, and this is one of my favorites that I use. Usually people tell people "just affirm!" and "just relax!" but for me I've never really been able to lie still and go affirming for hours aimlessly because I can't focus my mind and I will get very angry/upset and think I "fail" if I can't focus while most other methods tell me to think absolutely no thoughts. It's just something entirely not possible for me and likely others, so I wrote this to hopefully help someone in a similar situation out. I believe this is something that @trynafindbarbiee2 / @trynafindbarbiee has talked about in the feeling of recently, so I hope this helps people who have recently read their trance state post and seen the video. :) If you have more questions, feel free to message me or inbox me.

1. You do not need white noise, theta waves or whatever you've been told you "need" or anything to enter. You don't even need pure silence. If you're like me you've probably used things that you don't even enjoy and aren't relaxed by just because other bloggers made you feel like you needed it to go into the void. What you're going to do is put on something you like. If you personally find a subliminal relaxing, then use it. Specifically I use music or subliminals. If you have a song that you enjoy a lot and makes you happy then use it. It doesn't need affirmations or binural beats or anything like that. Just put on something you like very much. It doesn't even have to be a calm relaxing song as long as it makes you happy.

2. Think. Yes, I know how this sounds stupid. Think. That's it. No. I'm not telling you to think about something specific. I'm telling you to DO NOT TRY TO NOT THINK. If you try to prevent yourself from thinking you're going to be unable to stop thinking and unable to calm your mind. You're just going to end up more upset that you can't stop thinking. Plus it's actually very important that you're thinking and not focused on the void or entering. Think thoughts about things you enjoy, something that'll distract yourself and spiral into other thoughts you'll also think about. Daydream. Visualize. Think. About anything, ANYTHING you want.

3. By now at some point after this your mind will begin to calm down and get more "spacey" and distracted. Sometimes I am already in the void at this point. However, if you're not yet then you can use your mind's fuzziness and the feeling of being zoned out to enter the void. Things should be much quieter in your head compared to when you first started and it should feel slower to think. 4. Since this happens so fast usually I already end up in the void state or near it at this point. If you aren't yet, then now you can start visualizing and daydreaming about either the void state and the feeling of being in the void state (I visualize the idea of feeling nothing or being in water or just being in space or the wind all of these work best for me). If you can't do this visualize your life AFTER the void. Visualize things such as your desired appearance or desired bedroom and visualize things you're going to do once you leave the void. IN SUMMARY: 1. Put on music or subliminals. It's important that it's something YOU like and relaxes YOU. Not what someone tells you to listen to. 2. Think about anything you want. Just think and daydream about anything. 3. Once your mind is calmer and you think slower, vaunt and rampage about the void and affirm or visualize your life AFTER the void or visualize the feeling of the void (Yes, daydreaming is the exact same as visualizing so if that helps then do that).

[toranesu]

ur kafka and blade post had my mind running sm. so i had this rlly nasty thought abt fucking them in some tight space while they're on a mission. like, even if the mission was urgent, who were they to say no to your greediness?

anon i love you for this i would 100% grope blade's ass or stare at kafka's crotch while fighting like hello??? sir, ma'am, i'm gonna need some time to control my cock (i got too into this and made it too long mb 💀)

sub bottom blade + sub bottom kafka x dom top gn reader | cw. semi-public sex, groping, reader is a greedy pervert, polyamory relationship, amab reader but cock can be interpreted as strap, riding, squirting, supposedly a quickie.

"enjoying the view, gorgeous?" she gives you a smug smile, right as she killed off an enemy. of course kafka would be the first to notice it. your eyes glued on her crotch while she shoots those antimatter engions and voidrangers. the way her chest bounces when she moves— isn't she just riling you up on purpose at this point?

you shrug in response and follow blade into the next room. you had been appointed by elio to go on a mission in herta's space station, to invade the control room and find some sort of information, to be exact. you didn't really get any of the details, but said yes anyway cuz why would anyone say no to spending time with their not one, but two sexy lovers.

it has been a while since the three of you last fucked, now that you think of it. no wonder you're so pent up... another enemy shows up, blade's taking care of it. the way his ass is just glaring at you from behind, his perfectly curved waist, his chest— why is it so big? he's gotta be at least a D cup.

the enemy dies and you can't help yourself. before you realize it, your hand lands on blade's ass, squeezing the soft, refined mound of flesh. you didn't mean to! you were going to hold his waist and praise him for his technique... really!

blade flinches at your touch, his face heating up while his body tenses. you- right now, seriously? that's basically what's going on in his mind. he wants to react but, your hand on his ass does feel nice.

"ah? having fun without me? that's mean," kafka approaches, closing and locking the door behind her. "you aren't hogging them for yourself, are you bladie?" she hums, looking at the two of you, precisely with your hand still on blade's ass.

blade flushes and looks at her with a frown, attempting to defend himself. "no i-" you cut him off, pulling kafka by her waist and wrapping kissing her neck (which she willingly exposed to you).

"come on, let me have my fun. we haven't done it in ages. i'm suffering out here, y'know?" you groan, it being slightly muffled by the fact that you're basically smothering yourself in kafka's neck. she smells nice.

blade leans into you, pulling your arm from his ass to around his waist as well. kafka smiles at you, ruffling your hair fondly, "yeah? missed us, didn't you?" fuck, she's always so smug. it's so weakening and so.. arousing. makes you want to put her in her place, doesn't it? she knows it and she loves it.

"we're in a secluded area," blade finally lets out his voice, letting out soft breaths, his hand resting on yours while your arm is around his waist. "everyone must have retreated by now. i want to.." he mumbles, a bit quiet but loud enough for you and kafka to hear.

blade had never been so vocal about his wants and needs, so the fact that he's admitting it at all must mean he's been all pent up too. how cute.

"aw, blade," you coo, letting go of your hand on kafka's waist and putting it on blade's cheek, kissing his lips endearingly. he lets out a low moan at your affection, his hand still on yours.

kafka smiles endearingly at the two of you before sighing loudly, getting in the middle of you. "no more stalling. i've been waiting on this too. i'm waiting for one of you to fuck me already, you know?"

"sorry bladie, you don't mind me going first, right?" kafka lets out a heavy breath, her walls clamping down on you. she's so warm and tight... oh how you missed this.

it's not really efficient to fuck in the storage room of someone else's space station, but you'll take it. you're sitting down leaning against the wall, kafka with her clothes discarded sitting on your dick, tits looking bouncy and magnificent, her eyes half lidded while she bounces on your cock—blade's leaning on your shoulder, your hand on his dick, he's moaning softly as your hand rubs his leaking slit. fuck, this is heavenly.

kafka is having the time of her life. she absolutely adores riding you, your dick reaches the deepest parts of her, brushing against her cervix everytime you thrust inside. she enjoys the way you're under her, moaning as she makes you feel good.

but you only have a limited size of self control, using your other hand to grip kafka's hip and thrust inside her, making her moan loudly in ecstasy. you're deep inside her, the way your dick drags in and out her soaking pussy— ahh, she can't get enough of this.

"fuck, if- if we weren't on an urgent mission i would've loved to eat you out before this, kaf," you breathe out between moans, she's so warm and welcoming, your dick could melt inside her (or maybe she's just a whore).

kafka laughs breathily, holding your shoulder and groaning as she pushes herself down on you. "ah, y-yeah? what makes you think i'd let you?" always so cocky. dumb brat needs to be put in her place.

you kiss blade's cheek before letting go of his weeping cock, both your hands grabbing kafka's hips and slamming her down on you repeatedly. she lets out loud moans, her legs trembling and her toes curling. "what a fucking brat. so cocky when all you want is my dick. aren't you just my whore, princess?" you groan, continuing to fuck into her like a madman.

she can't even make a snarky reply at that point. her whole body is trembling, her tits bouncing, she's squealing and moaning, drool slipping past her mouth. but then your hand reaches to squeeze one of her breasts before pinching her clit— fuck. she throws her head back and squirts all over you, leaving you soaking wet from her fluids.

you groan at the sight and give her a kiss on the lips before pulling out of her, earning a dissapointed sigh as you lean her down on the wall next to you. kafka's had her fun, now you gotta take care of your neglected sweet boy right beside you. blade's panting at the sight, already stretching himself out for you and mewling when he feels your eyes on him.

he's waited all this long and even prepared himself for you! what a good boy. you kiss blade's swollen lips, poor boy must've been biting back his moans to not disturb you and kafka. he's so sweet.

"blade," you coo, brushing the hair out of his face. he lets out a small 'mm' at your voice, letting you hold his hips while he straddles you. he blushes lightly and holds your still hard dick, aligning it with his stretched out hole. he needs you, he needs you bad.

you rub circles on his hip as he steadily sinks himself down on your cock, breathing heavily and scrunching his eyes at the feeling that he oh so craved. he moans when you're fully inside him, leaning his head on your shoulder and letting out heavy breaths, adjusting to your size.

you kiss the top of his head and run your fingers through his hair, your other hand rubbing circles on his hip. "there we go, good boy. doing so good for me, yeah?" you whisper, soothing him as he moans at your words, lightly rolling his hips against yours. "take your time to adjust, move when you're ready, okay?" you remind him. the mission was urgent; sure, as much as this should be a quickie, you can't just force your dick in someone's hole!

after a short while, blade starts moving, rolling his hips against yours steadily before starting to bounce up and down your cock. he whimpers and moans, trying to keep his voice down— unlike someone who couldn't even bother (not like you could either). this takes you back to the first time you had sex with him, he's so shy, so quiet, holding in his voice. it's so so adoring, you think.

you pepper kisses onto blade's chest and collarbone, letting him fuck himself on you while you hold his hips to help steady him. he looks so pretty when he's breathless above you like this— both him and kafka do.

"so pretty, blade," you groan out, nipping his jaw while he continues to bounce on you, matching your thrusts. he really was ethereal... eyes half lidded, mouth parted open. you can't get enough of this.

you gotta end things fast though, the mission's still important. kafka had gotten you close to your climax already so now you're even closer, feeling your dick twitch in blade.

you kiss blade's shoulder softly, fucking into him while your other hand reaches towards his neglected cock. blade mewls as he feels you stroke his dick, getting him close to his own ejaculation. your hips nor his stop thrusting, your hand stroking his dick at the same pace.

"cumming– hng, i'm c-cumming," blade slurrs, nipping onto your shoulder and moaning, his dick twitching in your hold.

you kiss the shell of his ear, whispering, "cum for me, blade." and with that, he releases in your hand, his walls clenching around you tightly as he moans in ecstasy.

"good boy," you kiss blade's sweaty forehead before getting him off of you, sitting him down next to you and palming yourself, chasing your own release.

"hello?? kafka? blade? [name]? where are you? did you get the stuff?" the voice of a familiar hacker reaches your ears.

you curse under your breath, "oh fuck."

[angelflms]

Okay, so I have been thinking so much about this (I have been talking aloud to myself for like ten minutes bc I've invested myself wayyy too deep into this), but I think I know why Miguel bothers me so much despite being my favorite character.

The writers suck.

Now, I know I don't have screenwriting credibility and I'm merely just a girl and I know that perhaps they can't cram all of this shit into the show and make room for literally everyone else, BUT I think the reason why so many people don't like Miguel as a character is because he doesn't have much of a character to work with. So whenever he does something that shows character (the Mexico storyline, the Stanford storyline), no one feels bad for him. I think that maybe if he had definitive arcs for each season, while weaving it better into Robby's arcs (since they're foils and tethered to each other), he would actually be likeable. So I wanted to show you what I feel like I would do to write Miguel's post school fight arc. Feel free to tell me your opinions. (buckle up, this is a long one)

S3a

similar to what we see

but we actually get to be more into Miguel's mental response to the aftermath

I dont' think they went enough into his feelings with everything and that everything went a bit too fast (for Miguel) during the season.

perhaps they could've gone deeper into his PTSD, similar to what they did with Sam.

but instead it preventing him from going to school, it prevented him from doing karate all together.

it was clear early on that karate and Johnny slowly became all that Miguel cared about.

Johnny was sending mixed signals and Kresse's entry into CK was conflicting as their ideals were different.

Johnny made it clear that CK's mottos are a way of life, so Miguel was moving the exact way one would in karate irl.

Karate was his life. And it nearly ended it as well.

I don't believe Miguel would immediately still want to be so gung-ho about joining karate again after nearly dying from it.

Johnny would lose Miguel's trust and would fight for it back. He already lost Robby. He can't lose Miggy too.

Miguel doesn't want to be around him for now, despite feeling bad for pushing him away

S3b

When finding out he was paralyzed, it hurt to find out, but at the same time, with his conflicited feelings about karate, he would feel a bit relieved.

I like to think that when the surgery worked, everyone was happy but Miguel because now people are going to expect him to want to go back to doing karate.

Eventually he and Johnny have a heart to heart and make up, though he's still a little bit hesitant on trusting him

he does reluctantly join Eagle Fang and he tries to make an effort to train again and get past his fear

Though things still feel like what it was like at CK, which isn't something Miguel is enjoying

Plus him being the only shot they have for the All Valley is putting presure on him, mainly due to Johnny

The scene where he tries to kick but fails happens

He falls and flashbacks of the school fight happen

He gives up and says he isn't doing karate anymore

That is until the finale fight when CK comes in and fights the EF/MD kids and Kyler beats him up

he remembers why he started karate in the first place and starts fighting again

He chooses to do karate again

S4

Again similar to what we see (Johnny and Carmen, the intro to Kenny, etc)

I think he still feels weird about being back in the world of karate and latches onto Daniel more as a sensei now with the conjoint dojos situation (he's a lot softer on him knowing his situation)

Which pisses Johnny off and makes him jealous (he just misses his kid ya know?)

He tries to make an effort with Miguel but he grows more distant after hearing Daniel's side of the events during TKK

This season could heavily parallel s2 with Kiaz as they're on the opposite sides of the coin now with Robby being with CK and Miguel learning more Miyagi-Do techniques

This could also bring more tension with Lawrusso because of how they're both treating and training him and how Johnny thinks Daniel is taking Miguel away from him

(maybe a fight scene about this idk)

Perhaps Miguel starts feeling bad about pushing Johnny away as he very much still cares about him and sees him trying

Daniel does talk to Miguel about how Johnny does care about him and how he's beaten up about everything and how he wishes he could change everything

This will make the whole "I love you" "I love you, too Robby" scene a lot worse

Miguel feels lost again

The sprain he gets during the All Valley was the final straw for him as he has a panic attack and in a heap of emotions, he leaves for Mexico, not just to find his dad, but to genuinely run away from everything

Also throughout this season, I really wanted to see more of Robby being guilty for what he did during the fight but pushing it away until he sees what Kenny does to Anthony and realizing that history is already about to repeat itself

Also also we do see Miguel talk about collage but brings up that he wants to become a PT (did I take this from someone who reblogged my other rant, yes) and probably want to go Boston University (they have a PT degree program)

S5

Same as we see for the most part

I was hoping Miguel would bring up the whole "I love you" situation but he never did and I wonder why

I wish we saw bits of the car ride home from Mexico and the awkwardness between the boys (there's a good ao3 fic that does this pretty decently)

Perhaps Robby can tell that something is off with Miguel though and tries to spark conversation but the latter refuses to talk to the former because of the school fight

I think the break up should still happen

Both because with everything going on with him, the breakup would just be another stab in the chest, but also because that fucking scene was so good!! Like idk if Mary and Xolo get their flowers for that scene but I'ma need them to get their flowers for that scene

Now he's just this ball of emotions

Johnny still wants to push for the boys to be close since he's caring for both of them now (and ofc the baby) so like in the actual s5, he still tries to get them to talk

Now I would've preferred a heart to heart reconciliation (similar to samtory s6) but since the dudebros would think that's too soft and this is a fighting show, the balcony scene would be fine

Though I do think in a later scene, Kiaz should have a more emotional talk with each other

Miguel just talks about how hard it has been since the school fight and how everything keeps on changing and everything gets a lot for him

Robby tells him that he gets it and confesses how guilty he feels for being the one to put him in the hospital

And then I feel like the rest of s5 can go the way it did

i don't know. maybe this is too convoluted but I do think that the lack of characterization and constant mischaracterization of miguel diaz is due how poorly the writers went about him post s3a imo. i think they could've done something great with him in a way people felt for robby you know? they always randomly bring things up as a way to say "hey he has trauma too" but it's always at the most inopportune times and it always comes off half-assed instead. i love miguel so much because of his happy-go-lucky energy but he has so much wasted potential which is wild to say when he's the main character.

[h4n47105]

I've already posted this in the BMW discord but I'll post here too! I need people to see my vision 😭🙏

[ GANGSTER AU! The Great Sages X Reader]

TW: Dubcon for all three, not proofread!

The things that turn the Great Sages on

TL;DR

Wukong: His sweetheart dolling up (for any occasion/for him)

Sun: Seeing you angry (at him/at anyone else/anything)

D.O: Doing basic domestic things with his darling

WUKONG: When I say Wukong loves his sweetheart dolling up (especially for him), he really does. He can't stop himself from running his clawed fingers over your sides appreciatively - giving you a puppy look as he starts to tug on your dress, already hinting to what he's about to do in the next hour or so. Bonus points if you have those non-waterproof make-up on, he'll just want to see your mascara being ruined after he made you tear up from pleasure

[ Short drabble for Wukong ]

"So pretty, so pretty for me, sweetheart," Wukong coos, ignoring the way your throat clamps up as the whimper you let out becomes hoarse - his hands cupping the fat of your thighs as he spreads you open for him, golden eyes far too fixated on the mirror in front of him - "My sweetheart looking so pretty to a party that I can't help but fuck her dumb, " He whispers sweetly "You'll forgive me, right? For making you late? Yeah, you will, won't you?"

SUN:

There's nothing more arousing to him than seeing his baby angry, even more so when they're furious - giving glares at everyone, expression pulled back in a scowl and practically ready to just throw hands - and he just fucking loves it. Sometimes, when the day is getting too boring for his liking, he'll just purposely poke fun at you in the worst ways just so you could/would bite back at him.; the make-up/revenge sex afterwards is just too good for him to pass up

[ Short drabble for Sun ]

"Yeah? You fucking hate me, baby?" Sun nearly hisses, grunting as your nails rake down his furred back painfully so. The thought of having those nail marks lasting for weeks to come makes him pound his cock into you even faster, clawed hands biting into the flesh of your hips as to keep you still "God, just like that, baby, sink those fucking teeth into me and show me how much you hate my guts—"

D.O:

D.O is a simple man, a very simple one, I might add. Because of the hectic life he's living, he really appreciate the little things in life - the normal things in life. So when his darling - who's not from the gangster background - comes into his life, he starts to feel for things he find embarrassing. Like how he just adores how you look when you wake up in the morning after sleeping in with him on that Sunday, or how you look as you do the chores in your house when he came to visit by from work; it makes him just incredibly hard

[ Short drabble for D.O ]

"M'sorry, m'sorry—" D.O pants against the column of your neck before moaning lowly as he feels you clench around him. He's got an arm hooked under your leg, the other bracing on to the table - the kitchen table to be exact, one that you had tediously set up for dinner together that night - to support you both "I'll fix dinner again, I swear but—" D.O all but growls "Let me have you right now, darling, I can't help myself, m'sorry—"

[prince-liest]

Don't mind me getting on my soapbox for a moment... a lot of this musing is admittedly for the sake of my own processing of this topic, re: aroaceness. Read at your own peril! <3

I'm generally a very "ship and let ship" kind of person, but I think I would definitely append a little caveat of, like, "As long as you're not being actively invalidating and detrimental to others" to that. Which is a delightfully vague statement that can be interpreted practically any way, I know, hahaha.

In the case of this particular post I've just been thinking about how, like... seeing an aroace character like Alastor get written into dozens upon dozens of PWPs (including ones that don't even touch on the subject of his aceness at all) is really not something that I personally find to be hurtful or offensive. It's just smut for the sake of smut, of a character people want to see awful, sexy things done to (or doing). Valid! I vibe with you! More people should just write the PWPs they want to see in the world!

But on the other hand, I've several times seen this very particular type of art (usually it's a comic, but admittedly I haven't been reading very many Hazbin Hotel fics so maybe it's there, too) where Alastor is slotted into the "methinks the lady doth protest too much" trope. As in, he's expressing strong feelings about a character (usually Vox or Lucifer, sometimes Angel Dust) to someone, probably Rosie, and the person he's confiding to is some variant of, "Oh, silly Alastor, you're obviously in love!" And then he denies it, says that the very idea disgusts him, and the character titters to themselves about how he's so naive in the matters of romance or whatever.

And it's, like.

The "strong feelings" in question are almost always frustration/annoyance/disgust, and him being like, "Nnnno, I just hate his person" is treated like a silly and naive misunderstanding of his own feelings because obviously he's in love. Please imagine that Alastor was a female character who was established to be a lesbian. Now examine how that suddenly makes this scene feel.

(Also, Rosie being the go-to for this is a little frustrating when she's the one who, in canon, explicitly says that she wouldn't make that assumption of him.)

There's such a chasm of difference between how I see people wanting to ship Alastor for reasons of "I just want to!" vs folks who engage with him being aroace in ways that are infantilizing and invalidating. There are so many people out there - not just aro/ace people, but anyone who's not exclusively into the standard type of person they should be into at the time society deems they should be into them, which is most queer people and even many cishet folks - that have been told that exact kind of thing in real life. It reads like something out of a compulsory heterosexuality guidebook, and it actively makes it harder to leave the closet or even realize that you're in one at all.

So I guess it just feels frustrating to see it get made into a punchline, especially by folks who are shipping queer ships. I genuinely can't wait until fandom society advances to the point of consistently treating aro/acespec folks as queer instead of Queer Lite (TM), because let me tell you, ime the comphet experience and the amato/allonormativity experience are in fact nigh-identical except for how they're treated within online communities. There's a reason the pan -> gay -> ace pipeline is a thing.

But, hey! We're already doing way better than we were in 2012!

[lemotmo]

Help I'm also so confused! Episodes 5 and 6 essentially being a 2 hour episode 5 split into 2 parts makes sense though. My god the timeline is so confusing. What are your thoughts??

Q. Ali what the hell is the timeline? Oliver's interviews are all basically the same but he keeps talking about episode 5 but Ryan's already shaved for episode 6 so what are they actually filming? And where are the Ryan interviews?

A. They've already said the Ryan interviews contain spoilers so they're not dropping those yet. Oliver has very admittedly confused people on the timeline. What confused me was him saying that they're filming out of order. Usually they film the episodes in order and the scenes within the episode out of order. Oliver made it sound like they're shooting the episodes out of order. Which makes no sense at all. Like you said Ryan has already shaved so if they're still filming episode 5 then Tim misspoke when he said Eddie would shave in episode 6. And, even though you all know how I feel about Tim and interviews, in this instance I don't think he misspoke. Thematically speaking Eddie shaving during the Halloween episode makes sense, something about how on Halloween we put on masks and then remove the masks, if the mustache is indeed a mask of sorts. So I wonder if episode 5 is actually a 2 hour episode split into two separate episodes. Given everything Oliver and Tim have said those episodes sound very Oliver and Eddie heavy so making them essentially one long episode would make sense, especially if their point is the feelings arcs. Right now there's too many interviews considering they're not allowed to tell us anything. We essentially know nothing outside of the Athena and the plane. The Tommy answers are clearly canned. He has said the exact same thing every time. The only thing he clarified in his latest interview was that jealousy on Tommy's part wouldn't play a part. Which was nice for me to hear because that does allow me to actually hope his past is going to be something the show allows Buck to genuinely be bothered about, bonus points if they work the word bothered into the episode title again. I think we will maybe learn a bit more in this week's episode but I think actual storylines will probably kick off in episodes 3 and 4 so we just have to wait and see. I know that's not helpful, anon, lol. I'm so sorry.

Thank you Nonny!

I'm just as confused as the rest of you when it comes to the timeline of episode 5 and 6. I can't wrap my head around it. The moustache is gone, so how are they filming everything out of order?

So I agree that it might just be a two-parter episode to tell a story. But that's as far as I got when it comes to those episodes.

They are keeping everything in lock-down like they have never done before. Something big is coming all right.

The fact that they're holding back those Ryan interviews because of spoilers is also hightly suspicious.

As for the interviews... well, you already know what I think about those. They're all I've been posting about. 🤗

I am more inclined to the theory that Buck will break up with Tommy because he chooses himself and he realises that Tommy just isn't right for him. Will Tommy's past play a part in that? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[maingh0st]

thoughts on holly black's tithe

fair warning that this isn't really going to be a book review—I went into this book predisposed to enjoying it, and I generally had a good time. rather than a comprehensive review, I just have some loose silos of thoughts I wanted to share. it's still a long post, but I'm not attempting to cover everything! so without further ado (some spoilers ahead):

let's get this out of the way

Tithe was Holly Black's debut YA novel, and it reads like it. it's a good debut—she's clearly a skillful author even this early in her career—but there are some choices (pacing, phrasing, etc) that read as slightly amateur. one of these choices was, in my opinion, including multiple POVs. maybe this is a controversial take, but I would've enjoyed this book more if Roiben's POV hadn't been included. it would've increased narrative tension, led to more intrigue about his character, and allowed us to get to know him along with Kaye (rather than being privy to his secrets and Deep Inner Turmoil from the jump).

I can't remember where I saw this, but someone said that reading Tithe feels like talking to a teen who's just figured out they can swear & make sex jokes, and yeah, that's accurate—but I also found it strangely endearing. Kaye is a teen, and her ~quirky~ teenager-ish musings on boys, alcohol, fashion, etc feel believable. which leads, unfortunately, to the next thing I've gotta address:

Kaye is 16 years old, and most of the time, she reads like a 16 year old. on the other hand, we're never told Roiben's exact age, but the man has lived a lot of life by the time we meet him. now I'm pretty lenient toward the idea that the Folk age differently than humans, so it's not really an exact number that's the issue, but the sheer chasm in life experience between them. I quite enjoyed both characters on their own, and conceptually, I feel like they work well together on a personality level, but yikes guys. the story even highlights that Kaye hasn't gotten her license yet because of her age; meanwhile, Roiben is waxing melodramatic about how many people he's killed in his years of tortured servitude to his evil queen. this age gap combined with the insta-lovey nature of their relationship* made this book feel... well, about as dated as it is.

*they have great chemistry once they're actually having conversations & getting to know one another! I really enjoyed their banter! but that's well into the book, and well after they've already been acting mutually infatuated

laughs nervously while looking at sjm

okay I'm not going to harp on the above points, I just wanted to get them out of the way. but now let's play a game: let me tell you about a plot from a popular YA novel, and you tell me which book I'm describing.

there is an evil queen with beautiful red hair and pale skin. she holds her court beneath a large hill. the court itself is ghastly—full of bloodshed, debauchery, riddles, and cruel games. unfortunately, an immortal fey man has found himself magically bound to her power, and while he tries to carve out pockets of agency in minor ways, his forced loyalty to his queen requires him to compromise his morals and cultivate a fearsome, bloody reputation.

a young woman who was raised in the human world finds herself swept up in the machinations of this court. the man fears for her, because she is vulnerable, but her presence also makes him feel hope, and her strength and cleverness surprise him. many shenanigans ensue, and they kill the wicked queen.

I mean. there are notable differences, of course, but I just noticed too many acotar parallels. anyways. holly black did it better

reading a faerie's pov

I've already established that I love Kaye, but guys, I really do love Kaye. I love that she takes initiative and moves the plot along (breaking her glamour too early is a great example of this—she could've gone along with the Grand Plan, but her curiosity led her to act faster). I like that Holly allows her to be selfish and think ugly things, but still try to do good and be kind. I know these books have less buzz than tfota, but I find myself fascinated that there's not really Discourse about the Kenny situation (for a tldr: Kenny is Kaye's best friend's boyfriend. Kaye accidentally glamours him to be infatuated with her. when she learns how to remove that glamour, she first takes the time to taunt him publicly and humiliate him with his own desire for her. personally, I like that Holly wrote her doing this and then feeling remorse about it, but it is objectively pretty shitty, both to him and to her best friend).

I also like the way Kaye is believably fey. she's playful and blunt and mostly uncaring about social conventions. repeatedly throughout the book, she'll make a decision without deliberating on it beforehand (which at first, as a reader, feels jarring), but then as she's facing the consequences, she processes her choice and often feels regret or course-corrects in some way. it feels very fae to jump into something because it seems fun, then only once you're in the thick of it realize that Oops, My Actions Have Consequences

threads left undone/questions that weren't answered—or maybe I'm a bad reader

who tried to kill Roiben at the beginning of the book? it's a Seelie arrow, but I thought there would be more plot relevance to this attempt on his life. do Seelie fae often try to murder him? it seemed like a significant one-off event, but as it stands at the end of Tithe, it was just the narrative's way of leading Kaye to find him

Kaye pricked her finger on a thorn in Lloyd's jacket pocket, and I now understand that this was (I guess?) meant to connect Lloyd to Nephamael (the knight with the thorn-lined cloak). but hey, this is a magic book, and I really thought there would be some magical significance to Kaye pricking her finger

is Kaye Fierch her true name? Does she have a true name that she's unaware of? How are true names given / received?

what secrets are guarded by the Court of Termites?? I know this isn't really a plot hole because Kaye is so new to the world of the Folk, but I'm just putting it on the record right here that I really hope we learn some of these Deep and Dark Secrets that were teased

because this post has gotten long, I'm going to create a separate one with bullet points of things we learn about/are reminded of re: how the faerie world works. I kept track of these for the fic I'm currently outlining, but also because it's fun to pay attention to little worldbuilding details :)

[starrysharks]

OK so I'm feeling some guilt I started to draw cartoony like you but I get frustrated because it does bot look perfect like yours it's mostly small stuff like colors and clothes I love making cartoony body's sometimes clothing but I have color picking because I'm still new to art that has colors is my feelings normal or is it wrong of me? And how do I pick colors because it frustrated me to no end and made me stop drawing for months anyway in short summary how do I color the right way like I guess I know skin tones but anything else goes wrong and the other summary is how do you draw clothing because I can't for the life of me get clothing right

don't worry - it's normal to get frustrated when drawing. i know i've literally quit and deleted entire illustrations in the past because i didn't like how the colors came out, and i can spend whole hours just choosing base colors TwT i think the important part about learning art is not to rush. i'm seriously flattered you see me as inspiration, but what worked best for me back when i heavily referenced other artists was "mixing" styles together to create a "new" one - so i'd recommend studying and copying multiple artists you like and trying to blend their styles into one if that makes sense! ^^

hating color picking is completely normal when you're first starting out, and even late into art like i said before - i've been making original digital art on ibispaint for about 5 years now, and it's still difficult. but it's easy to make it fun, and the best way to do that imo is to experiment! i'd recommend studying color theory on a larger scale, and understanding how certain colors might look completely different based on where you put them. or maybe make an illustration and color it in a bunch of alternative ways! also, having "bad" or "awful" color skills starting out is OK - i still think my colors suck sometimes even now lol.

anyway, the best way for me to color pick is to just use that color for whatever the OG artist used for their art. let's use alex ahad as an example because i find his art and color use super interesting -

i don't usually color pick, but when i do, i typically start with picking the eye color. then, based off of the eye color, i chose a base color based on the character's color pallete (easier of the eye color is already close to the main color of the character, which for clyde is turquoise).

then, i pick more colors directly from the reference, for stuff like skin. at this point i have a good idea of the colors i want to use and stop color picking from the ref, but there's no shame if you still feel you need to.

after that, based on the colors i picked, i'll color in the rest of the piece. i usually end up changing the colors that i did take from the reference due to experimenting - for me, i just use color picking as a sort of stepping stone for when i'm not sure how to color a piece the exact way i want.

eventually, you can learn to color pick by eye rather than with the picking tool in your art program, tho that takes a lot of knowledge on color theory.

really there is no "right" way to color, especially for skin imo - don't limit yourself to just peach, tan and brown. clyde's skin is bright white, but i still used a yellowy color here because it was relative to the other colors in the piece. i've also used "alien" tones for human-toned characters in the past before!

and about clothing folds - i can make a full post on that if anybody else is interested OuO

[bird-inacage]

CALL ME BY FIRE (SEASON 3): Participation of Jeff Satur

Now this has been the most uncanny crossover I never saw coming. A show I've been watching for years, and my introduction to thai BL which initially put Jeff's name on my radar. Here's some context for any fans who have heard of his participation and want to know more.

Call Me by Fire is a mainland Chinese TV competition show. They invite 33 established male celebrities with the goal to form an ultimate "boy band" by the show's conclusion. What tends to be the incredible pulling factor is they'll invite a combination of singers, musicians, actors, dancers, idols, presenters - incredibly well known faces in the industry - many of them hugely respected OGs in their field. (The demographic is usually late 20s+) so there's an intentional sense of maturity, experience and wisdom amongst the ensemble. The emphasis isn't really on forming this 'fictional' boy band, it acts as a mechanism for us to get more up close and personal with these artists. Allowing viewers to appreciate their creative genius, as well as who they are as people.

This show came as a spin off of another series 'Sisters Who Make Waves' which has the exact same premise but for female celebrities. Because it became such an instant hit, they made a male version shortly after.

As a Chinese speaker, I've been watching both shows since they started in 2020. Both are in their third season (with Call Me by Fire broadcasting right now). This year they've decided to include more participants (of mainly Chinese/Asian descent) from America, Korea, Japan, Vietnam and Thailand - along with the majority from China, Hong Kong and Taiwan.

Why I find this show both incredibly entertaining and compelling is because you get to watch spectacular collaborations between some of the most talented artists of this generation, and witness them embark on a journey of brotherhood through a shared love for performance (they live, work and perform together for the duration of the show). For me, theres also a massive nostalgia factor, because a large portion of these artists will be people I grew up watching.

There will be a lot of new attention on this show due to the Jeff's involvement (whose dubbed ‘Luo Jie Fu’ in Chinese). We’re only on Episode 2, and he's already making a huge impression, earning one of two MVPs spots after their first live performance - his group ranking 2nd out of 8, and his personal ranking being 7th overall (based on the live audience popularity vote).

The show is uploaded onto Youtube in full (post-broadcast on a Saturday). Just to warn you, the episodes are usually very, very long (sometimes between 2-3 hours in total), but I personally really enjoy that. There are English subtitles but the translations don’t always capture the nuances.

Jeff is doing a superb job so far and he's very brave for taking this on. He brings something distinctly unique in his showmanship and personal sense of style. It's a daunting prospect for someone who can't speak or understand Chinese, but the other brothers are doing their best to help him feel as welcome and settled in as possible.

If anyone has any questions about the show or clips featuring Jeff they'd like to know more about, I'm more than happy to translate.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I like your blog, we've been mutuals for years. But blogging about the met gala when there are children dying in Gaza? Fuck the met gala and your celebrity worship

at what point have I made it seem like I don't care about/support what's happening in gaza? I don't share a lot about it, but that's because most of what I see have graphic images and videos attached to the posts, and while I understand the thought process behind sharing them to make it seem more real to people, I'm uncomfortable with it because I know that if I was in that situation, vulnerable and injured or dead, I wouldn't want people gawking at me online just so they can pat themselves on the back for 'suffering in solidarity' by making themselves uncomfortable and miserable looking at me. I'm trying to be respectful. I've still reblogged things about gaza though. but honestly, if you've been following me for years, you'd know I'm a pacifist and wouldn't need me to make a statement saying I don't support people being killed. my God, dude.

also, celebrity worship? I can't even tell you who half the people at the met even were. I just like fashion. I post about a bunch of different things on this blog, and you haven't complained about that, so where's the threshold for things people are allowed to enjoy while bad things are happening in the world? fashion is off limits, but doctor who isn't? I can still post about musicals and not support murder, but aesthetic pictures are on par with launching a bomb myself? I truly hate to break it to you, but sharing links on tumblr is not going to fix this situation. denying yourself any shred of entertainment or enjoyment does not give you a moral high ground. what's happening is horrendous, but even if this is somehow magically peacefully solved tomorrow, there will still be other atrocities happening elsewhere in the world. that's unfortunately just how life goes. in no world am I saying we shouldn't care about every single atrocity that happens, I'm just saying if you can't find some time to be happy in your own life just because bad things are happening to others, you will never truly live a life at all. it sucks! but that's how it is. it's like when someone close to you dies, and the first time you laugh after you've started grieving feels like you're betraying them. but you aren't betraying them for continuing to live, just like you aren't betraying anyone else in the world who's suffering just because you don't spend 24/7 thinking and talking about them.

I do truly, genuinely, hope this all comes to a peaceful end, and soon. I'm not naive enough to believe for certain that it will. but I do know, at the end of the day, people are already aware of it. people know what's going on. sharing photos of dead and mutilated babies will not make any difference. you, and I, and everyone else online are not going to personally save gaza. pressure needs to be put on the people who can actually do something to make a change, and they don't care about what's online. arguing with people because you don't perceive them as doing 'enough' isn't going to accomplish anything other than getting them to a point of making them eye roll whenever they see you post, because at the end of the day, unless you're literally a top politician, you are doing the exact same amount to help as someone who reblogs less posts than you. sorry.

[ask-serendipity-sky]

Hello, everyone. I have something I need to say:

I've been very vocal about my feelings towards Tae and all the things he does. The people who follow me know that. I hardly talk about Tae because he's not the point of my blog but somehow he always comes up.

So I speak freely because that's what humans are meant to do. I don't care about fandom etiquette or jikooker rules or whatever crap someone made up. It's so childish to me.

And it was all fine. I don't go hate on anyone's blog and mine wasn't hated on either. I never got harassed for posting my thoughts. Until now.

Stormblessed95 has once again started bullying people for not thinking like her.

She does this everyone and then. I was just a lurker when she did it a while back last year, then a few months back like in April(?), and now, that I have my own blog, she's doing it directly to me.

Stormblessed's bullying post:

Ever since she said this (and probably other stuff that I didn't read), I have received hateful and bullying asks. Some I have posted...:

...others I have deleted, others I've kept...and they keep coming.

So people obviously listened to her words and got all riled up (like taekook-lives riles up her followers).

Ever since Stormblessed99 started her little bullying train again, every single word I post gets analyzed and I get a hateful message for it.

Of course she will play the victim card and say she's not calling anyone out. But then why, when referring to the "Tae Anti", does she use the exact words I used in my response?:

My words:

Stormblessed95's words:

All of this is straight up bullying and instilling hate so others can either bully me too, harass me, and silence me.

I voice my opinion on Tae but she voices her opinion as if it was the rule of the fandom and jikookers, enforces it by bullying people, people listen to her, then she plays the victim card saying she's the one who is being attacked.

It's funny how everytime there is a chapter of bullying and hate in jikook tumblr, she is present in every single one.

I'm frankly tired of this fandom being a bunch of sheep and being so quiet about what they think. This is why people keep growing with hate and think they have they right to police others.

So yeah, I just wanted to say this. Because I don't like being silenced and don't find it fair that people can't voice their opinions without having someone come at them.

I'm not a coward like the people who like to throw shade and hide behind the anon button.

Sooo... Stormblessed and friends, stop bullying me and my thoughts and next time you have something to say, come and say it directly to me.

Thank you all for your attention.

[sonkitty]

The Pocket Chain Rainbow Connection - LINKS - Updates

I have finally gotten around to several updates on the Rainbow Connection. I had meant to focus on Part 4, but it made sense to update Parts 1-3 as well. Updating Part 4 took way more out of me than I thought it would so I didn't track my changes in the other parts well, sorry.

In Part 1, I mostly have some mild wording changes. The more I've played while working on the Crowley S2 Hair posts, the more sure I am that the Tied Hands untie and retie frequently, so I am more sure than ever that they retie during intermission with Nina.

In Part 2, I added more about the possible Black and White being used to trap the Green for later in Triple Part 2. I also added more details about how the switch from Blue to Purple does not happen in a specific cut because Crowley still needs to do more preparation for using two pockets in the Double.

In Part 3, I added some more info about the suspected Black and White trap because of a human wearing suspenders as a clue they work together to suspend something.

Okay, for Part 4, I updated A LOT. The big stuff is closer to the END.

-I added that I think Crowley's Pocket Frame for The Door Trick is Car Mirrors and that might be helping with how the mirror flips are managed.

-I added that I think the human with the skirt holding the orange bag could be the "FIsh" in Bullet Catch magic word references because the pattern on her skirt looks like scales. Other places I look, I can't find a strong enough visual clue for a fish. My instinct was to look at cars and a human on a scooter first, but the skirt still feels like the best option.

-I added info about the actual rainbow that exists and the potential over-the-rainbow touches allowing colors to switch as needed.

-I added more about the lacking Yellow on the red alert that is hopefully somehow still stalling the actual switch due to where certain colors and humans are.

-I added info about the human I most suspect is the "Gorilla" for the Bullet Catch reference and that I can't figure out if they contribute to this Rainbow Connection part. Also, I think every Bullet Catch magic word reference is supposed to be no later than the actual link from Crowley to Aziraphale with the Pocket Chain, intentionally ending at "dash of nutmeg". The other references are not in the exact order, but that one is last. With this particular update, I now have a guessed place for every magic word in "banana, fish, gorilla, shoelace with dash of nutmeg".

-I added that the tie strands are also shown to be still during The Door Trick, but each cut shows they moved a little off-camera.

-I added more details of my assessment on the Yellow when it is being connected to Aziraphale and the Metatron.

-I committed more to saying that Aziraphale and the Metatron are sharing the connection and hopefully more precise wording with things like "visually touching yellow behind them" instead of "touched by yellow".

-I added the following about reaching purple during The Door Catch:

In the previous iterations, there was a double purple in The Pocket Trick's Double and then a possible double red in The Pocket Trick's Single. Since a skip-to-purple and back already happened with The Door Trick, connected to The Door Catch, my guess then is that a double purple to start going back up is not required.

-I updated the wording in general to be less "we" and "us" in the wording though not completely. It's otherwise more third-person about the game or first-person with my own play.

-I updated more certainty about the two different Pocket Frames I believe are happening (Elevator Edges for Aziraphale and Doorknobs for the Metatron).

-I updated the wording about the window pane reflections. I state quite explicitly that I am lacking the words for what I sense to be a significant thing happening in that moment with the Metatron's reflection being caught where it is with Aziraphale by the end of the cut.

-The wording about the non-rainbow shades was actually decent enough to leave mostly as is, so then I mainly just added my far more detailed info below it.

That detailed info is significant enough that I will post it here too:

...

Well, it's been weeks and this bit is the best I've got, so here we go.

In the Heaven elevator with the Metatron, I do believe the following is supposed to apply:

Black blocks.

Brown borrows.

Gray shades.

White keeps.

I like "white keeps" in the rhythm better than "white holds," but that is the same general idea and why I've said I think Muriel's white helps hold things for assisting Crowley in other Threshold Tricks.

There are two huge problems I encounter with this idea, but I can't let it go. It still sticks with me.

The first one is that I can never, ever figure out what Black blocks outside the Heaven elevator. Inside the elevator, the Black is blocking out the elevator's Gray. I am as sure as I can be that's the intent.

The White is holding the Gold to keep it as Gold.

Together, that allows the Black and White to effectively trap the Gold, so that it cannot be switched to Yellow despite so much Gray outside the Black circle.

There actually is a little Gray in the White but it's not enough or inaccessible because the Metatron makes the mistake of using a zoomed touch and not showing either of the two types of thumb joints he has on the hand doing the touch. So, the dark Brown he wears can't use the Gray to qualify the Gold as Yellow.

However, if I go and look at The Pocket Trick for what Black might do, I can't figure out what it's blocking. In Triple Part 2, I think it's helping trap the Green for eventual use in The Door Trick. It's part of how I got the idea that Black and White together can act as a trap. What needs to be blocked to make the trap? If it's the switch to Blue until the Green is properly trapped, that's actually being accomplished by the timing and synchronization with the human puppet by making a pocket and stalling the switch with where that human's neck is. The Black is not blocking a color. It's not stalling. It's just there to trap the Green with the White through the method Crowley chooses.

Crowley and Aziraphale stall Blue switching to Purple for the Double, and the lighting is not setting Crowley's clothes to Black as obviously as it is in Triple Part 2. Maybe there is White helping that time but not Black.

The problems go on from there in similar ways. In Triple Part 3, that's where I got the idea because I was like "Okay, I guess the human wearing suspenders mean the Black and White suspend something". Well, they do in that part at least.

In The Door Trick, Crowley's illusionary touch is on a black bag between edges and it essentially acting as a cue for Aziraphale to Begin. So, then, it doesn't seem to actually block anything. There are three other words other words with "b" around though! Between. Bag. Begin.

So, the Black's meaning itself switches, depending on what one's imagination requires it to do or I'm just incapable of finding what is being blocked.

That imagination part is the second huge problem. So long as I can see pockets in the right places and a goal in mind for what Crowley might want to accomplish, it doesn't seem to really matter. I mean, it does because I'm supposed to find the logic. But in both Triple Part 1 and the Double, I can say that the color didn't switch until a given time because of how Crowley and whatever assistance he got managed the timing, framing, and pocketing. If non-rainbow shades happen to be there, that's fine. I still don't know what Black is blocking or White is holding a lot of the time, if anything. I don't really think Brown is necessary to borrow either. Is there someone on-screen using pockets while Crowley himself has something he wants from his play in the game? Then it's done!

So, this bit:

Black blocks.

Brown borrows.

Gray shades.

White keeps.

This bit is more like a default with a limited imagination or limited available pocket assistance.

It's not exactly that way though because Aziraphale gets someone with white and brown. What does that do? What does he need to borrow that needs a hold? The Green from the nearby humans in the preceding cut until the shadows on his coat can do the Trick?

I guess!

So, if my play improves, I'll update this part accordingly, but it just plain hasn't.

I do have guesses that the 1941 minisode actually gives clues on these shades as well.

For Black, the miracle blocker blocks the turnip from turning into an inkwell. Ink is black. Black blocks. In this case, black is blocked, but I still think that's the clue. There are other colors involved, including a white handkerchief, but, again, I still think that's the clue for the Black.

For Brown, the clue is gross—and I am not a fan of gross things, so you're really going to have to use your own imagination because I am not going to spell it out completely. The old man the zombies kill is singing about farting. They kill him and one of them ends up borrowing that guy's voice to sing some more. You figure it out from there. Okay, fine, I will give you one more hint: it is a crappy joke. Nonetheless, Brown borrows.

For Gray, the clue is much more pleasant and is found near the end of the minisode at a lovely candlelit table while Crowley and Aziraphale are drinking wine. The "shades of gray" are mentioned in conversation, including darker shades and lighter shades. Gray shades.

For White, Aziraphale waves a white handkerchief around with "prestidigitation" in his dialogue when offering to help Crowley to Mrs. H. before the trick is actually performed. With the miracles being blocked later in the minisode, the problem keeps happening while he uses the white handkerchief over the turnip. White keeps.

And that concludes this updated part about these shades.

...

Main link and all the part links can be found here:

The Pocket Chain Rainbow Connection (1, 2, 3, 4)

[tassodelmiele]

Noisy little mess

Hi sweetie⁓

This week i've doubled the usual post, just 'cause i feel the urge to catch up with the chapters on AO3.

I've liked writing this part, jumping between feelings, digging a little into this kink i find interesting. I would like to explore it just a little futher, but i need to...contextualize it (at least from Ghost's point of view. I don't think he's a "kink" kinda guy. I'll convince him somehow).

I can see how my english writing style is still a bit rough compared to how i write in italian (wow, i'm goddamn Captain Obvious). I would like to improve, to let it be more fluent, more descriptive, more...melodious? Does it make sense?

So I'll keep on.

Like, forever. I hope.

It's a curse. I'm cursing all of you to read my work for the eternity.

Sowwy

DISCLAIMER (Does someone read them?): how Dom/Sub relationship work (not an expert, but a fan); unrealistic military life (i don't know what i'm doing, but i'm doing it); bad jokes; yelling (again); leather collar (fastest apparition ever); unsubordination, but make it somehow tolerable; Soap and Gaz doing a great job being normal in this chaos; now you've got a roommate; Ghost tries to be nice (we've got you gorgeous, we know you're doing your best).

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Fifth part here:

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The morning after, Soap runs at you with breakfast already made (he learned how to make your chocolate oatmeal) and an official communication with your name on it.

«…what in the actual-?»

«No comment» the Sergeant swallows chocolate and coffee together, thrilled and suspicious at the same time while you're going to faint in front of what seems to be a threat of imminent death.

You turn and fold the communication letter in every angle, almost expecting to find a tiny "that was a joke, lol" written somewhere. But you don't.

«Waitwaitwait»

Gaz spawns behind you, sipping his morning tea; he looks at the sheet with a critical sight. «You must have fucked up so bad this time, little one»

«I've done nothing wrong!» you burst, watering the table with the hair you thought you would have time to dry.

«But here we are:» Soap points at the sheet as if he's Sherlock Holmes in front of evidence «You've been  officially included in the special operation team's selection…will take place under the supervision… blah blah blah… of Task Force 141 . It's written right here» he signs at the exact line. 

«No»

You waste no time denying the obviousness. The communication is sent away from you on the table.

«No» you repeat, convincing yourself. «I can't. I'm just…i can't»

«'S not a matter of will. Ye've been called, laddie» 

«Cooper and Allan will be there too…» Gaz reads on the list: five names are written, five promising soldiers who are gonna be tested on the field, and maybe will end up being a new special task force. Five reliable people.

You don't understand why the hell someone put you in there.

You fit a big spoonful of oatmeal in your mouth, chewing hopelessly. 

«Why? I don't want to, I'm good being a rookie, I'm too green for this…»

«Maybe» Soap gives you his most sarcastic smile «'S 'cause  someone threw herself in that risky mission in the middle of weapons traffic…if ye know what i mean»

You sigh. Your wet hair dances on the table as you almost slam your forehead next to the oatmeal mug, hoping to accidentally give your stupid brain some damage.

«Is like someone's trying badly to keep an eye on you»

Gaz's speech awakens you. 

«…whaddya mean?»

«Special training's normal shit that happens from time to time. But this wasn't expected, we'd been told 'bout it this morning, just like you. I bet he rushed up everything, and put your name on it»

« He who??» your hand grip the table. «Gaz don't be an ass, just spit the name out!»

«You know who I'm talking 'bout». And he smiles: he smiles like a dick since he knows well you're not gonna like the news, but he just enjoys your red face so much that he tastes every second before spelling with heart-shaped lips:

«Ghost»

You're screaming internally till the morning.

And he,  he , is standing there, in front of you,  he  who's just managed to turn your quiet soldier's life into a little training nightmare.

You want to slap your own face so badly for having thought about doing the heroine for one goddamn mission.  One . You didn't even think it was so hard as a mission, you've done it by guts, and now you're stuck in that training, and you know it's because of  him .

'Cause Gaz told you, after half an hour of interrogation, that  he  is, in fact, one of whom decides which recruit submits for the training.

You're dying, sitting next to a guy you've barely talked to since you're at the base, and who's looking at you…oddly.

Like he's studying you. Like he's waiting for you to…confess something.

With just a slap of his hands, Ghost manages to have everyone's full attention, and the meeting starts.

It goes on for a whole hour and a half: one hour and a half of specific technical terms, workout powerpoints, tactical expectations and probable missions to be done (if the recruit's team will show itself reliable). 

Your brain's 68% melted, 30% asleep and 2% trying to concentrate an hate-beam on the Lt. thick ass.

«Hey, uhm…»

You're about to run away from the meeting room as soon as possible when your brand new desk-mate approaches you with a grin you don't really appreciate. He seems almost amused for whatever reasons, but you don't have time to waste and just glare at him with the most annoyed: «Aha?» a human has ever said.

«He made you a big surprise, didn't he?»

You frown. 

«Who?»

«Lt. I heard a fight in his office recently…it was you, right? You two don't really get along well, are you?»

And that's the exact moment you become suspicious. Your eyes sharpen under the pressure of the distinct feeling he's going to get at a point you don't want to go with him to. 

«Eavesdrop is not polite» you mutter, containing your will to punch him in that stupid grin he's stretching his mouth with.

«I was passing by…ya know-»

«No. I don't»

You move beyond him, focusing on the door. It's already been a terrible day, and all you want is your bed. Not even the dinner, not even Bernadette's joke about her sister's future husband. A  bed .

And it leaves you quite nervous seeing your roommate standing in front of your door as you approach the way to your personal, hoped-for night heaven.

Bernie and her glorious gel-greased red ponytail are waiting for you, tapping her toes on the ground. Female's base section is tiny, and you're glad some God has found you a room with a normal human being with a goddamn deep sleep schedule.

«Oi» you wave at her. She doesn't seem amused. «Don't tell me there's something wrong with the bed sheets again, please»

«Bed sheets are good enough» she murmurs, patting you on the head (she's a tall girl). «Is something…different»

«Whaddya mean?»

She escorts you into the room, closing the door behind you as she's about to tell you some incredible secret about how the aliens are among us.

But she doesn't. She shows you something else.

And your blood freezes.

Next meeting is the morning after, just right before the first training session under Task Force 141 supervision.

There are twenty minutes left before the start, and you're already rushing through the base with your pocket stuffed with something metaphorically heavy. 

You slam the door open with enough force to dismantle the hinges, and your eyes search for one of the three men around the desk crowded with documents.

Johnny's about to wave at you, but his hands stop in the middle as he sees you walking like a rampage toward Ghost.

You aim at him with eyes so cold he could hibernate. 

«I want you to stop » you speak crystal clear under the rage and the exasperation « now, whatever game you're playin' with me»

Soap and Gaz are freezed at the other side of the table, considering themselves lucky to have a solid desk between them and your rusty, piercing voice. Ghost, though…

He falls of a tree.

He can't even manage to keep a stern voice as he says: «…what?» looking at you rummaging in your pocket just to throw something in his hands.

And he finds himself holding a goddamn leather collar, complete with metal chain.

In any other scenario of your life you'd rather jump from a window to check if it was possible to glide on the grass instead of putting together that show. But, oh well, you're neither a flying squirrel, nor a fortune-teller.

And there you are, stone solid against Ghost, who's lost the speaking skills and seems to be in the middle of a math problem resolution with his inner demon.

His eyelids glitch at you a couple of times, but you don't give him time to reply, not this time. 

«Do me a big favor -would ya?- and  go to hell . Thank you so much»

You don't even care if tomorrow someone will send you to fuck yourself away from the base, since you've yelled to a goddamn Lieutenant as if he is your cat-lady neighbor who complain about noises at four pm. 

This is the end of your patience, the end of you being nice, calm and collected; the end of you trying to not be so direct about what it's happening between the two of you.

'Cause it sounds so clear in your head that it was  him who left that stupid joke of a collar in front of your room, that you didn't even think about other possible suspects.

And so, the meeting starts with him being completely silent, sat and still as a statue, while Soap and Gaz don't even know what they're speaking about since they should have done just the training part of the day.

Ghost's looking at the recruits, so intensively, so vividly you can feel his eyes scanning all of you, and you don't give a damn about it.

He can just go where you've sent him, and rest in peace.

The walk toward your room is a forced march on disassembled legs. Task force did its best to organize a training to destroy every inch of flesh and bones, but it was so  good  to unload the stress with physical pain that you can't even complain.

You're about to go for the door knob, ready to disappear in bed, when a known voice reaches you with an embarrassed: 

«Hey»

You turn: and the goddamn eavesdropper from the training is behind you, and you're already preparing to yell the hell out of him but…he's evidently uncomfortable. He doesn't even look at you as he almost bows his head saying:

«…I-i came just to…apologize. I'm sorry for having bothered you. It was just a joke, i didn't mean…» He kinda starts to justify something, making a step forward that immediately dies. «Sorry, i…i-i just wanted to have some fun, it was a joke. Sorry» he ends up muttering, mumbling with eyes buried in the ground.

Your jaw drops. You're about to grab him by the neck and give his skim a peeling session on the wall, but you spit an hard and sharp:

«The collar. It was… you ?»

And he left you like this, with no more words, nearly running away from your sight, so embarrassed he could have dug by himself a hole to hide in the pavement.

Next day, he isn't even at the meeting with the Task force.

You can't deny you were about to skipp the daily training too. 

You feel slightly, almost imperceptibly, just a tiny bit  bad . But it's the "tiny bit" that makes you pretend to be part of the seat in the meeting room, just an innocent piece of plastic, so well hidden in the chair.

The specific, vivid memory of you rushing to your superior, slapping that damn collar in his hands as if the joke was his responsibility, is kinda cursing your mind in a black, noisy cloud of embarrassment. Oh, and that smart little brain of yours is also reminding you how proud you were to send him to hell.

You decide to become a turtle, digging the neck into the shirt collar.

FUCK , it's the only, big, huge sign you're throwing at yourself, so focused on melting on the chair that you don't even feel his presence next to you.

«'Ve told ya we've got a dignity in here»

You jump, raise your eyes and suddenly bury them again on the floor. Ghost is standing on your left, not even looking at you, and you silently thank him for his sensitivity (if that's even a matter of sensitivity). 

You're collecting some sensible excuses, trying to look like an adult, a responsible one, but he surprises you with a sudden:

«I'm sorry»

He's the second one in half a day who gives you an apology, but if the first one was unexpected, this is almost incomprehensible; and without getting aware, you're looking at him in surprise.

«Taking into consideration a shithead like that for a new task force project… I wasn't that forward-looking. Should have identified a scumbag from the start»   

He speaks so sternly but so…easily, as if he's telling you about how many peanuts he'd eaten at breakfast. Then he sighs, about to go away; and you don't know  how , but you find the boldness to shout out a rushed:

«I'm…I apologize. I  need to… I'm sorry» you murmur, feeling like a stupid child excusing a broken vase. 

«'S ok»

You can hear your heart skipping a couple beats. Your eyes widen as you sense the slightest amount of what you classify as  warmness in his words. 

It doesn't last that long, as he adds: «But we're not done with this»

«…no, I-I can understand sir-»

«We need to talk». The "need" part is silently underlined, but the "we" is just a replacement for a more impellent "I", since it is  him who's burning his neurons, crashing them together to let them cooperate like in the good old days, when he succeeded in avoiding unnecessary emotions from the sunrise to the dawn. And he really thought he would be able to spend his whole life with the "I care for you" part of his brain on strike, as he really used to.

You're ruining his plans. And he can't allow himself to grow softer.

That is what boils in his guts for the whole morning, making him so absent-minded he almost shot Gaz on the training field.

"War's not a place for sentimentalism. There's no place for enjoying love here, we can't get compromised"

He repeats it as a mantra, waiting for you in Price's spare office (since his has got the door to be repaired. It may be that he made a hole in it out of anger).

He doesn't even know  why they give him an office. He's not a bloody secretary.

«Sir?»

He jerks at the door, relaxing a bit when he sees it's just you: you, who're avoiding his direct sight; you who're still sweaty and panting from the training; you, with the t-shirt that exposes the bandage on your arm, reminding that stupid infiltration mission you shouldn't even get involved in the first place.

You, who call him  sir just when feeling uneasy. 

«Come in. Sit»

His voice does his best to modulate a softer tone, failing miserably, with the result of making him more nervous. He goes searching in a drawer, and when he hands you that damn collar, you sigh. 

«I-I don't think i want it back, sir»

«Cut out that "sir" thing. It doesn't suit you»

Your cheeks are on fire. You grab the leather things, holding it tight in your fists.

And you feel upset, really upset , as a crescendo of excitement grabs your nerves, making you feel oddly, suspiciously  good . 

He makes you come back to reality: «Seems like we have to speak more quietly»

You sigh. And he keeps on: «Eavesdropping's a dick move, especially if ya do it outside a superior's office. He's gonna clean the shit out of our toilets for the rest of his stay»

Said so, one topic of the day is considered closed. 

He takes a long breath before starting the more important matter:

«Are ya used to this?»

Apparently, half measures are for the weak. He points his sight at the collar you're holding with both hands, almost like you're waiting for someone to take it and put it on you. 

You can't help it: it's an old habit.

«I…was» you murmur. 

«What 'bout now?»

«Does it matter?»

«Yes»

«Why?»

«It matters to  me »

Fists clench around the leather.

«Is an old story, i've drop it»

«Doesn't seem so»

Then, silence. 

Dense silence, pudding-consistency silence, and if Ghost had got a spoon he could have eaten the room's atmosphere to get to you. He realizes his self-confidence has been thrown out of the window as he catches his fingers scratching the nose tip through the mask. Digits are immediately moved away and stuck in pockets. 

«'M not asking to make fun of you. Neither out of personal curiosity» and almost every synapsis screams " liar " at him. 

«You're a…reliable soldier, little one». It costs him a little bit of pride to say it. «We don't wanna waste good soldiers for stupid reasons. I don't want this» his sight spot the collar «to compromise you»

«You can stop worrying about it»

You're a knot curled on yourself on the chair, feeling as if there's a martial court in front of you who's laying you bare, exposing your guts, releasing the skeletons collection hidden in your closet.

That's when he takes the collar from your hand, so gently, pulling it away from you as if he's releasing you from a burning stone that was consuming your hands. 

You're impressed. And your sight rises again, and he's ready to catch it.

«Were you forced to do it?»

You're about to ask "what", but as always, you already know what he's referring to. You shake your head.

«No. I've…enjoyed it. I was lucky at first»

«Why?»

«I…» remembering it brings you a little smile «…I found someone I could trust with this…game»

«A friend?»

«No. No, he wasn't a friend. He…»

Voice remains hanging for a moment, as he makes a step back to give you space. He's waiting; he could wait the whole day if it's necessary, and you're so not used to him treating you softly.

Maybe it's just a trick to make you speak. 

And it works so perfectly.

«Sub-Dom relationships are not easy. Well, you could build one in no time if you force it, but a  real one is based on trust. And it is the most difficult thing to achieve. Is not just a matter of obedience and…and sex play» you blush at the statement. «I trusted my Dom with all my whole heart. That's why I enjoyed the experience»

He mutters a low monosyllabic sound, as a confirmation that he's following your speech. When you get silent again, he makes a step forward:

«Then why did that collar affect you so much?»

And he hits a spot. Of fucking course he does. 

«'Cause most of the time, someone who calls himself a "Dom" just wants a body to humiliate»

Your cheeks are burning again, your tongue is trapped between the hold of your teeth. You finish with a whispered: «That's why I went out of that business»

«But you react at the memory of it» 

Your head disappears into the collar shirt as you nod, almost imperceptibly.

«Do you feel the urge to be under someone's orders?»

A «No» is rushed out so quickly it surprises him. «I've told you: it's a matter of trust». 

And you suddenly fall from your tree, feeling like the "soft-spoken" part of the meeting is totally gone. You freeze on the chair, almost replying as sharply as you can: «I've not chosen to be a soldier 'cause I like being ordered, if that's what you're implying»

«I'm not implying anything.»

«Then why ask?»

«Just wanna make sure your not gonna fall for the first big man who waves a riding crop at you»    

He steps on horse shit, and he realizes as fast as the word "riding crop" slips through his own mouth. He can swear to god he was trying his best not to be rude, but somehow that part of him (that he was trying so desperately not to bury under a cozy warm blanket of emotions) had decided to show itself just at the wrong moment.

How lucky he is.

He suddenly jerks the sight at you with the haste of someone worried about having run over an innocent cat on the street, and he really hopes you've not heard his last sentence.

But you have. 

And your eyes are tilted toward him, cheeks are red and fists are clenched so hard that knuckles are going to come out. 

«Can I ask you» you rush out, in the most professional way, forgetting again you're speaking with a Lieutenant «Why do you always end up being a dick?»

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