#i feel fukcing awful giving away my bible | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lavender-ghosting · 2 years ago

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fuck. i’m giving away a bunch of my old books, and i didn’t even think about it, and my dad just saw i was giving away my old bible.

we’ve discussed exactly one time a few months ago the fact that i’m not christian anymore, and we all kinda tried to ignore it after that. after they had to console me and assure me that they still loved me. while i sobbed and tried to tell them how badly i wish i could believe in god just for their sakes, and how hard it was that i didn’t.

it’s a new thing for them. so it’s understandable the pain and hurt i could see cross his face. i could feel it.

i have to move away from christianity for so many reasons, but it sucks how tightly my whole family is wrapped around christianity so that there really isn’t an escape. i’m always going to feel that guilt. i’m going to be a disappointment.

#sorry about this incredibly personal post <3 just gotta vent #tw christianity #tw religion #every time i think i’m over my religious trauma it just shows up at the most random times and fucking decks me #i feel fukcing awful giving away my bible #if my dad ever knew the extent that i am actually resentful towards christianity and not just that i don’t believe in it #it would destroy him #so i try my best to hide these things #but christianity fucked me up #and now that i’m moving out i have a say in what i bring with me #and i will not be bringing religion with me as far as i can help it

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