#i feel completely rested and awesome like bitch i wrote 2 essays in thirty minutes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

quietnocturne-blog · 6 years

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ignore me if you follow me for actual content lol sry but also an explanation for why I’ve been gone

yikes about tuesday last week my doc confessed that they think I have bipolar but doesn’t want to diagnose me w it just in case it’s normal teenage depression/anxiety antics that I’ve already been diagnosed with like ... okay... I’ve only needed 3 hours of sleep in the past like several days (and it’s been like that almost cyclically since 2015 when I tried to off myself lol) and I’ve been ... so , so habitually aggressive for the past three or four months (only every few days for ??????? A Time) and it’s so ???? it’s so unlike my actual personality and idk

what I’m doing I just hate everything that my brain is doing

I hope I don’t have it?? don’t get me wrong I hope to god they’re right and this is just normal behaviors that’s just iNtense

but having it would explain so, so much. and maybe I could get some medication to help it and I can’t bc of this and it sucks? I’m so tired of this and I’m ready 2 just perish lmfao pretty much everyone has just either started ignoring me or forgotten abt me so

#i feel completely rested and awesome like bitch i wrote 2 essays in thirty minutes #but im also eating less than 200 cal a day and basiclaly probably dying at this point lol #i can feel a depressive swing right around the corner its why i havbet been on here #sry im so fucking lame #i just hate myself immeasurably #And jnowing that maybe i dont have it maybe i didnt inherit it frim ny mom #and im jsut a huge asshole by oersonality rather than sometiems chemisrty #Sucks ass!!!!!!#ed tw #bipolar tw #mental health tw #eating disorder tw #tw ed #qloss talks #maybe i should just kill myself lol #not to be thwt guy #im just so tired of my emotions

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