#i feel bad. but i can't tell if i'm tired or have the plague

[gideonisms]

GOOD news so many things have happened this week that required an emotional response that now my emotions have simply turned off and I don't have anxiety anymore 👌lobotomy worked 👌👌

I want to lobotomize myself soooo bad ❤️

[slttygeto]

THINK I FORGOT, HOW TO BE HAPPY.

⤷ what was I made for? | something i’m made for

જ⁀➴ synopsis: after hanging out with Suguru's friends, you head home and can't wait to bury it down like you always do. But when your boyfriend insists on knowing what upset you, the night takes a turn for the worst.

જ⁀➴ word count: 2,8k

જ⁀➴ content warning: fem!reader, hurt/no comofrt, angst, fights, suguru is a little mean and says mean shit but reader isn’t any better.

જ⁀➴ note: sorry for the long wait, i'm struggling to work on many things at once. but a huge thank you for showing the first part so much love! it was truly unexpected.

ʚ⁺˖ ⤷ tag list: @error404-tryagain @fiannee @anarosextodo @ayeputita (couldn't tag everyone for some reason, my bad!)

⤷ comments and reblogs are much appreciated!

Suguru remembers when he first fell in love with you, how his face felt warm when you wrapped your arms around him and told him to have a safe trip, the little bag of goodies you had prepared for him sitting atop of his suitcase. He remembers pulling you into a deep kiss in the middle of a crowded airport, and he wasn’t a huge fan of PDA, has never been—but something about you caring for him, preparing food for his flight and showing up as he was about to board made his heart leap out of his chest.

Your first I love you to each other was shared when you realized you couldn’t handle being away from each other for longer than a day. You move in together shortly after he returns from his travel.

You don’t remember when you started to feel out of place, but it makes its way up and towards the back of your head like a parasite—your emotions were always too much for anyone to handle. You recently had a breakdown over messing up at work, and you’ve never seen Suguru look more lost than when he tried to comfort you. His eyebrows are furrowed in concern, he looks defeated when you refuse to let him touch or hug you. You were a mess, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

When you do calm down and are finally able to breathe properly, your brain flashes you little moments from your breakdown like a flashback—almost as though to shame and embarrass you for the way you behaved, all while your perfect boyfriend looks defeated at your lack of cooperation. You’re not sure if it is true, you hope that it’s not—but you see Suguru sit at the edge of the bed and bury his face in his hands and he curses under his breath. He looks tired.

It’s because of me.

When Suguru notices that your breakdowns become less frequent, he is convinced that you are slowly working towards getting better, praises and showers you with compliments. This is the Suguru you always want to see, full of life and love and not the one you saw that night.

And so you decide that from now on, Suguru wasn’t made to see you at your lowest.

--

Dinner ends an hour later and you almost run out of the restaurant and towards the car. Suguru is quick to join you, and from the corner of your eyes, you see Gojo standing near his car and his eyes are staring into your soul. You were grateful that he didn’t tell your boyfriend about the bathroom incident. You confided in the male at such a vulnerable moment and you would’ve been pretty upset if he went against your wishes.

You’re as quiet as ever as Suguru starts the car and drives away. You’re mindful of the way you sit not to face Suguru, and decide on letting him pick the songs to play on the way back. And your boyfriend doesn’t seem to notice the way you’re avoiding him like the plague, after all this wasn’t the first time you were eerily quiet on the way back home. But you were wrong.

Suguru watches you as you walk inside your shared apartment and remove your shoes. You’re not wearing any specific expression indicating that you might be upset. After all, you did have a habit of frowning as a resting face. But it feels different as you quietly greet your cat with a head pat, choosing to head to the kitchen first since you knew Suguru would go to the bathroom for a quick shower.

You were avoiding him.

“Did I do something?” Your boyfriend watches as you halt your movements, the glass of water in your hand long forgotten as you stare at him wide eyed, like a deer caught in headlights.

“Huh?”

“You’re avoiding me, did something happen?” Suguru tries to remember the night you spent outside. He has no clear memory of saying or doing something that you might’ve tipped you over the edge, so what was wrong? You were never this quiet.

“I’m fine, Sugu. You didn’t do anything.” The smile you flash him does anything but reassure him. You ignore the frown that sits on his face and you turn around, your back facing him as you try to busy yourself with something—anything, but facing the man you called your boyfriend.

“Then why are you acting so distant?” So he was able to pick up on it. You hoped that he wouldn’t be able to, maybe breaking up with him would be much easier that way. You are quiet as ever as you turn around and walk toward the fridge.

You were distant because Suguru wasn’t supposed to see you like this, he wasn’t supposed to know how much of an insecure mess you were when he was around, how you were desperately trying to get him to fall out of love. You can barely say I love you to him without feeling guilty about it. Did you truly deserve his love? It felt like he was wasting his time on someone as miserable as you.

“I am not distant, just tired.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, you were tired. You wanted to sleep so badly, wanted to drown the lingering thoughts of never feeling enough as Suguru’s girlfriend, but feeling whole and complete when you are yourself outside of your relationship. This was a you problem, and dragging Suguru down with you felt a little unfair.

“You were crying in the restaurant.” Your heart stills at this. “But you lied and said you were fine.”

“Did Satoru—“

“Satoru doesn’t know you better than I do.” His tone is sharp, and you’re taken aback by the harsh way he chooses to address you. Was this about to escalate into something else? You didn’t want it to, you didn’t have the energy to fight back and tell him to choose his tone carefully. You might’ve been the easy-going, kind girlfriend—but you weren’t going to tolerate disrespect from his part.

“You’re right, he doesn’t.” You sound almost defeated, and you put your glass in the sink before wiping your hands on the towel. Suguru stands near the kitchen island, and watches you with cat-like eyes. You were barely looking his way, the dark circles under your eyes prominent despite your effort at covering them up with make-up. When did Suguru start paying less attention to you? Or did you simply never allow him to see you like this, vulnerable and exhausted. His heart aches in his chest.

“So you won’t tell me?” You’re about to walk away when he decides to speak, and you heave out a long sigh when you realize that the night was taking a turn for the worst.

“Tell you what?” You mumble under your breath, and you refuse to meet Suguru’s cold eyes. You can feel them on your skin, they’re intense and trying to read you like a book. Perhaps if you don’t look his way, his stare would feel less intimidating.

“Would you please just stop?” Suguru rests his elbows on his the surface of the kitchen island, burying his face in his hands. “I’m really trying to figure out what’s wrong, and you’re not helping.”

“Maybe because I don’t want to tell you what’s wrong.” Your response comes out almost immediately, and the frustration you’ve been suppressing all night suddenly resurfaces. Months of trying to play it cool, sweeping your insecurities under the rug and hoping that a kiss from Suguru would fix all of your problems, it was all piling up into this huge bubble. And the more persistent your boyfriend was, the harder it was to stay quiet.

“What do you mean you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong?” Suguru’s voice is a little bit louder, and he’s almost in disbelief at your words. You were dating, you slept on the same bed, ate on the same table and cuddled on the same couch. You weren’t a girl he started dating last month, or a person he was testing out the waters with—you weren’t even a potential lifetime partner, but he was almost certain that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

“Because it’s useless to whine to you about shit you don’t need to know. My problems are mine, you don’t have to fix me.” You feel yourself shake a little the more you speak, your heart is beating fast at the realization that this was a conflict—you were creating a conflict and it felt suffocating.

“Fix you—who said I have to fix you?”

“Right, no one did��Suguru, just drop it. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But I do.” His tone is sharp, and his hands are curled up in fists. His eyes are staring you down the same way he looks at strangers—threatening, cold and mean. You find yourself tearing up and it makes you feel stupid. You started this, you’re the one who doesn’t feel enough in the relationship—you’re the one being mean, and yet a single look from Suguru has you almost bursting into tears? Pathetic. You felt pathetic and weak, and the longer your boyfriend stared at you, the harder it was to maintain a normal breathing pattern.

“Suguru, I don’t want to talk about it.” You try again, and you hope that your voice doesn’t betray and breaks. Tonight has been exhausting enough, and the thought of having to speak up what has been on your mind for months now makes your chest feel incredibly tight.

“You’re being selfish.”

Selfish? You were being selfish?

You stare at Suguru in disbelief and he immediately realizes how badly he must’ve fucked up because the tears start falling down your cheeks almost instantly. You, who has been pushing her feelings to the side for the sake of his happiness, were selfish? You, who can’t even remember the last time you were truly happy about something, were selfish? This is bullshit.

“I’m selfish?” Your chin quivers pathetically, and Suguru is quick to reach a hand towards you to hold you, but you flinch away from his hold, arms wrapped you to give yourself the comfort Suguru wanted to give you.

“I am selfish, me?!” Your voice is getting louder, but you didn’t care. All the frustration, all the sadness and insecurities were all coming up to the surface because of one single comment.

“Baby, I didn’t—“

“Don’t call me that, don’t you fucking dare touch me!” You move away when he attempts to hold you. “I’m selfish because I don’t wanna tell my perfect boyfriend with his perfect personality about my shitty problems. That’s just fucking great, isn’t it?”

The last time Suguru saw you like this was months ago and he doesn’t even realize it until now. All those times where you would brush off something that would normally set you off, give him a tight lipped smile and tell him not to worry.

“Your problems aren’t shitty, you don’t even want to talk about them!”

“Because every time I tried, it felt like I was robbing you of your fucking happiness, Suguru!” Your voice is loud. “Every time I realized that my mood was ruined, I could only think of how you must be fed up with me.”

“But I’m not? I never even said that I was fed up!” Suguru’s body language completely changes, and suddenly he’s not even trying to comfort you. More so understand where all of this was coming from.

“Your face says it all and fuck--” You groan into your face, your cheeks flushed from frustration.

“Oh so now it’s my face?” You raise your head to stare at him. “One moment you’re saying it’s how I behave, but now it’s all in my face?”

“You’re missing the whole point, Suguru—“

“No, I’m not missing anything! You are the one who created this situation, you’re the one who decided to pull away!” Each word feels like a knife being stabbed into your heart. You stare at the man who usually gives you warm, sweet smiles and all of that is replaced with a cold angry look.

“Suguru—“

“Selfish. Yeah, actually I don’t take it back. You are selfish,”

“Stop.” your lips quivers.

“Because if you actually wanted this to work out, you would tell me what’s wrong instead of finding excuses.”

“You’re being mean, Sugu.”  

Your boyfriend groans out of frustration and leans against the kitchen counter. You stand still next to the fridge, tears streaming down your face. You try to stop and wipe them away, but it feels as though you really needed this more than anything.

“I want to take a break.” You say quietly and Suguru’s head snaps up almost immediately.

“What?”

“I want to take a break from this—from you, I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

Instead of giving you a proper reply, Suguru storms out of the kitchen and grabs his jacket and car keys and is out of the house in less than a minute. You are frozen in your spot as you let the words you just uttered out loud sink in, and there’s a sense of guilt. You are pulling away from your relationship, you’re willingly taking a break and not looking back, but does it matter anymore?

This was by far your biggest fight with your boyfriend, and the way he stormed out at the mention of taking a break makes you want to crawl in a hole and die. But not anymore.

You can’t even remember the last time you were happy, and for it to go on for so long was so draining and tiring. You could barely recognize yourself anymore. Your feet take you towards your shared bedroom with Suguru and you start packing some of your stuff. Whether he agrees to the break or not is not important, because you were doing this for yourself. And if Suguru truly cared about you, he would let you do what is best for you.

--

Suguru didn’t know where he was going, he just wanted to get away from you and as soon as possible. The roads are empty, and he isn’t driving recklessly. In fact, he’s probably driving so slowly that it would look suspicious to anyone on the outside.

He parks the car on the side of the road and rests his forehead on the steering wheel. When did it turn into this? When did he become so absorbed in his personal life that he stopped including you or care for you? Suguru doesn’t want to blame himself, but it’s a little difficult. He thought he was living this picture perfect life with you, under one roof with a single pet and future plans ahead of you. But to fuck up this badly and call you selfish simply because you were struggling on your own was horrible.

And to make things worse, he stormed out of the house and left you there all alone. He groans into his hands.

“Fuck.” He wants to fix this. He doesn’t want a break, he doesn’t think that it’s necessary. But you looked serious about it, maybe he could talk you out of it.

He grabs his phone and dials your number, and when it takes a while for you to pick up he just knows that you must’ve been contemplating whether or not you wanted to take the call. Eventually, you do answer.

“I’m sorry,” the line on your side is quiet, so he continues. “I fucked up, I don’t think I should’ve said what I said and—“

“It’s not your fault.” Your nose is stuffed, but Suguru can tell from the tone of your voice that you were tired. “But I need some space, Suguru.”

Some space… So you were considering the break.

“We can work it out, we don’t have to take a break or anything, we can go on a date tomorrow morning and—“

“I called a cab, I’m going back to my place.” You cut him off, and Suguru hears you lock the door to his apartment. “I’m doing this for myself and for us,” Suguru closes his eyes when he realizes that there was truly no hope in talking you out of it.

“Okay… can I still text you?”

“No,” you reply quietly. “I don’t wanna think about you for a while.” He tries not to feel hurt but it’s difficult.

“I understand.” The line goes quiet for a while, and Suguru hears a few sniffles from your side and sighs.

“We’ll be okay, yeah?”

“Yeah,” You wipe a few tears. “I have to go now.”

“I love you.” Suguru waits for a response, and when you take too long to answer, his chest tightens a little.

“Take care, Sugu.”

2023 ; all works belong to @ slttygeto. do not repost my works on any other platofrm.

[ponderingmoonlight]

How JJK men act when you have insomnia (can't sleep)

Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader; Toge x fem!reader; Megumi x fem!reader (special thanks to @belovedvamp for that jaw-dropping gorgeous Megumi requests, like wow)

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: nightmares, angst to comfort in everyone, I would like to point out that Megumi is my favorite part and that I'm thinking about doing a Part 2, so if you're invested definetely let me know 😭not 100% proofread yet

Gojo Satoru

„Huh, why are you still awake babe? Aren’t you tired?”

Satoru takes in your gorgeous sight, how you lay curled up in your shared bed with your sleepy eyes darted towards him. God, why do you have to be so stunning, why does the selfish urge to keep you awake a little longer become almost unbearable for him when he knows exactly why you’re unable to sleep?

The mattress gives in under your boyfriend’s weight next to you, his hand gently caressing your head. You feel drunk, as if your body doesn’t function properly anymore. No wonder, after all you were awake for more than 30 hours by now, fighting and fighting to finally exorcise a bunch of special grade curses while Satoru was busy somewhere else.

But you’re scared to close your eyes again, to get confronted with the horrible things you’ve saw today. After each and every mission, your brain haunts you with awful nightmares, reminds you of all the death, all the injured, all the things you’ve lost.

No, you just can’t take it. You’d rather stay up a little longer in desperate hopes to be spared than risking to have another bad dream.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about it”, you mumble into your heavy blanket, eyes drifting to the window.

It began to rain, heavy droplets pounding against the glass violently, thunder erupting in the dark sky. Carefully, Satoru lays down beside you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist.

“I know you’re lying”, he mutters against your sensitive neck.

“Is it because of your nightmares?”

You turn around to face him in utter surprise. When did you ever told him about those nightmares? You always kept them to yourself, suffered through them on your own. After all, Satoru is a very busy man who shouldn’t have to worry about something like a bad dream. Yes, it seems pretty ridiculous to whine about your nightmares when the strongest of them all is the one you’re talking to.

“Don’t worry about that, I’m fine”, you lie into his face, gifting him a small smile to convince him.

But your eyes don’t lie. They show nothing but terror and dread, nothing but fatigue and alertness at the same time. Suddenly Satoru’s heart feels heavy. He should have realized it sooner, the way you always go to sleep after him when you were out on a mission. Why did it never cross his mind that all of this might be too much for you? Maybe because you’re so damn strong, maybe because you make it look so damn easy every time, carrying the weight of all those missions so that his students don’t suffer.

“It makes no sense to lie to me. Why didn’t you tell me about it, babe? I’m sure Shoko might be able to help you-“

“There’s nothing anyone could do about this”, you interrupt him immediately.

“Trust me, I tried everything out there. I guess this is just how my brain tries to cope with all those things, the people dying and stuff…”

“But you don’t have to go through this alone. We’re a team, remember? Why don’t you wake me up whenever you feel upset? Why do you go to sleep after I’m already passed out? (y/n), don’t do this to yourself.”

Gently, he cups your cheek with his hand, forcing you to look up at him. Oh, how much you hate that familiar feeling. That feeling of being useless, of being weak. Are you really too frail to even sleep after a mission? Why aren’t you able to handle the things you see like the others, like Kento and Satoru? All that training, all that power just to cry in your sleep over the things that happened hours ago.

Truly pathetic.

“Do you really think you’re alone? Especially in the beginning, Kento was plagued by nightmares each and every night so much that he couldn’t even fall asleep. Suguru and I…it is always rough, remembering the faces of those you weren’t able to save. But don’t let them keep you awake, don’t think you have to simply endure this. I’m here each and every night to hold you, okay? I’m here, you’re not alone (y/n).”

Oh Satoru.

Without thinking twice, you turn around and intertwine your body with his, desperately trying to keep your composure. How do you even deserve a man like him? A man who seems goofy most of the time but hast the softest side, a man who cares more about everyone around him than himself.

Your boyfriend, the strongest with a heart of pure gold.

“I hate when they haunt me in my sleep”, you finally give in, hiding your face against his warm chest.

“I know, babe. Trust me, we all do.”

Ever so gently, he strokes your hair and back, embraces you in his very own warmth. Satoru feels like home, like the perfection you are chasing each and every day. What would you even do without his loving arms as your home? Where would you be without his constant support? All those nights he stood by your side, watched a awful romantic movie so you’d feel good again. The countless times he cooked your favourite meal for you, only to throw it away and order food afterwards. All those times he rushed to your side when you got injured, how he always manages to be right by your side when you wake up. And oh, how tender is touch feels against your skin, how his warmth embraces you with every inch of his body. He feels so good, so comforting…

Satoru watches with a small smile as your lids grow heavy and finally close, your breath leaving your mouth evenly.

“As long as I’m the one holding you, no nightmare in the world will dare to wake you up, babe”, he breathes against your ear, holding you tightly in his arms throughout the whole night.

Inumaki Toge

You stare at the full moon blankly, mind racing. How are you supposed to get out of this alive? Are you even strong enough to lead your very own mission without someone by your side? This will be the first time you’ll be completely on your own. Without Maki, without Panda, without Toge…You trained hard these last months, you know what you’re capable of. But still…

Is it enough?

“Kelp.”

His tender voice rips you out of your poisonous thoughts immediately, glossy eyes shooting up to take in his sight. Why does he have to look so delicate with the moonlight highlighting his features? Why does his mouth have to be so damn captivating?

Why is it so easy to fall hopelessly in love with Toge Inumaki?

“Sorry, I thought y’all were asleep”, you explain visibly uncomfortably.

How embarrassing, getting caught by your crush while silently crying into the night about a damn mission. A silent yawning escapes your lips before you can stop it, tired eyes covered by a curtain of tears. God, you are so tired.

“Salmon roe.”

Before you even comprehend what’s happening, the white-haired boy takes his hand into yours gently, staring at you so intensely that you forget how to breathe for a moment. It’s like he wants to tell you that everything will be alright, that you have nothing to worry about.

“I don’t think I can do this alone, Toge. I don’t think I’m strong enough to do this…”, you finally give in.

“Bonito flakes”, he immediately replies.

Without thinking twice, he takes out a small notepad and begins to write frantically. You know he always carries a writing block with him for time that require more than a few words, more than gestures are able to say.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, you worked hard these last weeks. And you’re great! Just do as good as you always do, I’m counting on you, (y/n)! Please try to get some sleep now :)”

With every word you read your heart beats a little faster, with every word your grin grows a little wider. If he only knew how much his words truly mean to you…

“So you really think I can do it on my own?”, you question.

“Salmon!”

“Thank you, Toge”, you mutter touched.

You don’t know why, but suddenly your eyes start to burn in tears. Toge holds nothing but affection in his gaze, hand still resting on yours while squeezing it ever so slightly. He truly believes in you and your abilities, shows no doubt in your save return. Maybe…maybe you’re actually able to do this. Maybe you are indeed ready for your first solo mission.

Toge stands up again, signalling you with a gentle squeeze to stand up as well. You follow him through the dark hallways of Jujutsu High, right into the dorm you know so well.

“Tuna”, he whispers into the night before pressing you against his warm chest.

You feel as light as a feather, too stunned to speak by the way his arms feel wrapped around your body. He smells intoxicating, so good that you can’t help but sniff in and out. Is this really the first time Toge Inumaki hugged you for more than 10 seconds? It definitely is hard to let him go again.

“I believe in you, (y/n).”

Did he…Did he just speak?

“Toge…”, you breathe out, watching as his smile grows even wider.

With a last wave, he is gone in the darkness of the night, leaving you standing in the middle of your room on your own with your feelings scattered all over the place. Toge Inumaki just hugged you. No, Toge INumaki just spoke. He told you that he believes in you.

“How am I supposed to sleep now?”, you mumble to yourself.

Fushiguro Megumi

Your eyes snap open in an instant, ice cold sweat running down your face. Where are you? Is it over? You…

You breathe out. It was a nightmare. Again.

“Fuck”, you hiss to yourself while rubbing your aching head.

Why do you have to get haunted by these horrible nightmares, when will it finally stop? Even Gojo-sensei seems to be clueless about your condition, about what keeps you up each and every night.

But you know something that will help you to get through this night. Or rather someone.

Your bare feet stick to the wooden floor ever so slightly while you wander through the dark hallways on your way to his doorstep. Is he even awake? Maybe he won’t open the door at all.

Little do you know that Megumi sits in his bed with his eyes wide open, staring at the door knob in sheer excitement for your return into his arms. He knows it doesn’t mean much to you and at the beginning, it didn’t mean anything to him either. You just came into his room from time to time, searching for comfort in his hug to chase your nightmares away. And since you were friends, Megumi had nothing against stroking your head gently and wrapping his arms around you.

But something seems different now. Something about the sensation of you visiting him late at night sends shivers down his spine, your moonlit features let his heart hammer against his ribcage. It’s like he wants to hold you even closer, wants your breath to brush against his face. Why does it dawn to him how delicate your curves look and how soft your hair feels? There is no use in denying it, no sense in fighting against the obvious.

Megumi Fushiguro has fallen hopelessly in love with you.

The knocks against his wooden floor send him to his door straight away, opening it before you’re able to think twice.

“Oh, I didn’t knew you were still awake, Fushiguro”, you mutter into the darkness.

God, how much he hates the fact that you always call him by his last name. What would he give to hear his name out of your mouth once?

“What do you want here, (y/n)?”

His voice sounds harsher than anticipated while it takes all his strength to not swallow you in his arms immediately.

“I had a bad dream again…”

The vulnerable tone of your voice kills him from the inside. Without saying another word, he steps aside, allows you to enter his dorm without hesitation. You position yourself on the left side of his bed like you always do, hiding yourself in his already warm sheets. Without hesitation, he crawls back into his bed, inviting you into his arms with a long breath.

You smell as good as you always do. Why did it take him so long to realize that you smell absolutely intoxicating, that the mixture of your shampoo, body scent and perfume is addictive? Maybe he should tell you about the way he feels, finally confess how you make his heart beat out of his chest. But how would you react?

Would you…reject him? For all these years of knowing each other, you were never more than friends. Good buddies, pals, but not more than that. None of you ever crossed the line of plain cuddling each other to sleep. Not once did your lips brush over his, not once did your hands move further than his chest. Would you even love him back?

“Come on, you have to have a crush (y/n)! Is it Chris Pine, Tom Holland? Are you more into Korean guys?”, Nobara inquired over and over.

You just rolled your eyes with a playful grin, almost making Megumi fall out of his chair next to Yuji.

“I don’t have a crush on anyone. I’m perfectly fine by myself”, you insisted.

“I like tall woman with a big ass”, Yuji interrupted out of nowhere, gaining a punch in his face by Nobara.

That was it, the first time he noticed something strange. The way his heart suddenly grew heavier than metal, sunk into his chest, took his breath away. He was hurt by your words. Megumi Fushiguro was hurt by the stinging fact that you didn’t say his name like he secretly hoped for, that your eyes didn’t even flinch towards him for the split of a second.

“Hey, are you alright? Why did you tense up like that?”, you mutter against his chest while drawing circles onto his t-shirt with your delicate fingertip.

“Oh, it’s nothing for you to worry about”, he lies into this tender night.

He presses you against his own body a little tighter, watches how your eyes grow heavy with every passing minute that you listen to his steady heartbeat. This shouldn’t mean more to him than comforting an old friend, it shouldn’t make his heart flutter and palms sweaty. But the soft snores leaving your mouth sound oh so lovely, the way your eyes move behind closed lids makes his heart skip a beat. You have to be the most precious creature on this earth, so valuable that he never wants to let you go again.

Until he has in the morning. Until you return back into his arms when nightmares keep you up another night.

Thank you so much for reading! Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul@chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly   @froufrousnowman @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @aeliusbbg

[yan-lorkai]

may i please request Idia, Azul, Jamil, and Floyd with a s/o that has a really bad sleep schedule, like literally can’t take naps and falls asleep at like 2 am and wakes up at 6 am. So they’re always really clingy and tired because of it

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: This is a mood. I started playing Mystic messenger again and like, my sleep schedule is all over the place because I refuse to lose even a single chat 😭. Needlessly to say but I'm sleepy all day but at least I'm getting a good ending for sure lol. Hope you enjoy this, darling!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Idia himself has trouble sleeping. He keep turning around so many time that if you were to share a bed with him, you would woke suddenly. Nightmare, anxiety and fears plague his mind, thus he turns to the only coping mechanism he has: gaming. He plays the night away before meeting you. After that, his heart start to beat normally and he can finally breathe, he can finally rest for a second. And then he finds out you have a worse sleeping schedule than him. You sleep really late and wake up really early.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ For once he feels the need to be the responsible one, inviting you to sleepovers just so he can make sure that you will be sleeping at an acceptable time, reducing the time you spend in front of screens or any caffeine. You will be sleeping this night and the after, and the other after that. He'll made sure of it. Plus, having you around is so good and you're always touching him in some form whenever you have a bad night. He like it even though he still flinch and blush whenever this happens.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Though no matter how much he loves to have you cuddling his back or hugging him because you're sleepy and can't take a nap, Idia will have your sleep schedule fixed. There can only be one insomniac in this relationship and it's him.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ It's a bit difficult for Jamil, though not impossible, to know you're not getting enough sleep at night. He himself works till the late hours and rise together with the sun. Still there are noticeable signs: you clinging to him, irritability, impulsive thoughts, slurred speech, and then he starts to realize you don't sleep at all some nights, doing whatever you spent time doing. And Jamil scolds you like he would Kalim. He is listing every negative effect on your health, how not sleeping can impact you on the long run, how you should fix it.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He make you some teas to sleep better, he'll even help you meditate so you can clear your mind. Though nothing he try works, so he casually move you into his room so he can keep an eye on you. He takes regular breaks when night starts to fall to see if you're still awake. If you are and he is free, which is rare, Jamil will lay down beside you and hold you tight, hoping that the warmth of his body and his soft humming can make you sleepy. If even this fail, he use the Snake Whisper to make you sleep.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Floyd is something else. He likes to experiment with how long he can stay awake before he succumbs to exhaustion, he does this often, laughing at the side effects the day after - though he also gets pretty moody the days he doesn't sleep. But only he can do this, you are required to sleep and take naps. He'll squeeze you gently on his arms, humming a little song while he pinch and poke at you to make you squeal. It's his way of telling you that he is here for you.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Despite his fickle and quick change of moods, Floyd can be soft sometimes. And when he wants something, he gets something; he'll read for you to sleep or tell all about his day and the things he did, the people he squeezed, the dishes he cooked, at some point, even more when he is holding you closely, rubbing your back and pressing kisses to your neck, Floyd knows you're bound to feel asleep soon.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Azul knows the importance of sleeping well. A well rested mind is capable of analyzing, of observation and various other things he needs to keep his business running. He can see how you struggle, often draping yourself all over him, mumbling slowly and yawning every few seconds. He knows you don't have been sleeping well. The motive he inquiry you about; and he create a sleep schedule for you when he learn it's because you have a bad sleep schedule, altering everything you do every day so you can have a practical schedule that fits your academic life and free time.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ While that's more easy said than done, Azul tries to coax you into sleeping in his room under the pretende of watching a movie or two. He is shy like this, don't mind him. He knows what's good for you and he can pamper you and take care of you when you are nearby, tangling you in his arms and blankets.

[sickuma]

SILLAGE — a Simon Riley fic. 1/2

❱ This is the au i wrote on tiktok captioned "he realized he wanted to stay too late" this will have two parts! I've been making a lot of ghost fics lately LMAO and I'm sorry if the plots are consistently angst, it's what I like doing the most. This one though is a little heavier than most of what I've written, definitely has some personal linking to it with my experience :)

ꜝ？ Warning. . this is a heavy angst fic, mentions of suicide and acts of committing, if that is something that triggers bad emotions, please exit the fic.

paring is Ghost x Reader this is unedited! mistakes such as spelling and grammatical errors are to be expected !

! if you are going through something heavy right now, please seek someone you trust and you are able to talk to about your emotions, nobody should have to go through their troubles alone, you're loved<3 My messages are open if you need a stranger to listen :)

Part 2 (^_^;)

SILLAGE — (n.) The scent that lingers in air, the trail left in water, the impression made in space after something or someone has been and gone; the trace of someones perfume.

"The deployment takes place soon."

He mumbles, without turning to face you. Occupied by packing up the things he'll need for this mission and more,

He was packing everything.

"Do not wait for me [name]."

"What does that mean?" You ask, a look of indifference plastered on your face. It wasn't necessarily the first time this conversation has been held. 

Though it is the first time you're not opposing. For the entirety of that 7 months you're together, fights happened, arguments would sprung. Yet you find yourselves back into each other's arms within a week,

It was a tiring cycle. Something you knew was unhealthy for the both of you, especially with your deteriorating well-being which he has no waking idea about. You've never brought light to it.

It was an ugly part of you, something you despised.

Something you won't ever show him yourself.

With a short sigh, he stood straight, hands propped on his forehead indicating his rising stress. "I can't, we can't."

"I can't let this go on longer.

You kept quiet, awaiting for him to speak more, to tell more of his worries you're evidently familiar with. It was something you've grown aware of,

His fear of abandoning you,

His fear of dying on the field while you wait aimlessly for him.

"This is for the better [name]." Cowardly, is what you would have described this. But you are in no place to be speaking of such as you're also deep into your own hell of mental instability.

For a lot of times this argument has happened, it was the first time you are not tearing up. Asking him to stop spewing nonsense and convincing him to stay.

Why did you keep doing that? You wondered. Now you finally have the answer. 

It's the fear,

Fear of your darkness once he's far from you, far from your heart. He was completely unaware of how he'd changed you temporarily, how your sleeping heart awoke with just the sound of his voice.

For the longest time you have not felt anything close to what he made you feel; for the first time you are able to feel. And the thought of that suddenly being taken away from you made your body tremble.

But this time you stood firmly,

He was right. This can't go on forever,

You two may have different reasons for saying such but what mutual fact was that it was true. Staying with each other will only drive you to madness.

With his fear of attachment, and your fear of abandonment. It was bound to fail.

You were already planning on cutting ties even before he brought this up once again; you knew you can't stay. Not any longer,

Not when this void plagued you like a curse.

The air was thick and dire, your lack of response threw him over the edge. It was unpleasant. He had expected you to do the same, to react the same, to stop him.

To fight for him like you always have,

But you're no longer capable of doing that. If you can't fight for your own will to live, how does he expect you to fight for this wilting relationship?

You hated it. Feeling helpless.

But you're certain it's the right thing, tonight, you'll finally do it. Like you always planned.

"I see."

Simon felt conflicted, your short answers and your lack of expression, it gave him a strange gut feeling. This sudden gut decision to stay and make sure everything's okay,

He can't.

He needs to go, one way or another. He's doing this in regards to you, and the safety of your feelings.

If only he'd know you're incapable of feeling, without him you can't. Your gaze followed his walking figure as he brought his things at the door,

Turning to you with a pinched expression, though he was shocked to see you looking at him with a smile.

"Be safe."

You spoke ever so gently, with that slight smile he adored but for some reason it felt odd to see it. It troubled him, he shrugged it off, not wanting to drag this moment longer,

Afraid he'll give in and pull you into his arms.

He kept staring, as if he didn't wish to walk out the door. If he does, it means permanently, his heart was against that. "Can I hug you?"

"One last time?"

He was taken aback, stunned at your sudden request. And for a lot of reasons it hurt him, to hurt you in such a way you end up smiling in acceptance, asking him for one final hug.

With an anxious swallow, he dropped the bags and slowly drew closer to you. Pulling you close, perhaps too eagerly? Too desperately. But he didn't care. 

If its the final time he gets to have you in his embrace, he'll make the most of it. 

He lets the moment linger, with your hands clutching his shirt, he took you in. Taking your scent, the calm thumps of your heart, he needs all he can get.

With his eyes closed, he carefully rubs the back of your head when he suddenly felt warm on his chest,

It was tears,

Your tears. You were crying silently.

"[name]—" 

You interrupt him with a chuckle, pulling away from the hug to wipe your tears. 

"Sorry, it escaped." You humoured, wiping them away.

Right at that moment he felt his heart shatter, he felt cruel. On the other hand you felt fulfilled, with the final hug you wanted,

You can finally do it.

"I love you Si." You smiled once again, looking up at his towering figure. Though his expression remained stoic, almost softening as his thoughts dwelled with what his heart wants.

He shook his head, closing his eyes shut as he turned around to take his things. Twisting the knob in the process, stopping to spare you one last glance.

"I—" he almost said it but he stopped himself, he didn't want to make it any harder for himself, no matter how badly he wanted to say it.

"Goodbye [name]."

Those were the last words he spoke to you, as the sound of the door closing erupts in your ears. Leaving you in the eerie room you dreaded,

It's as if you could still feel his embrace.

Once you're sure he's far enough, it's when you started the preparation. Sitting down indifferently to write a few notes; letters to those few you held close.

One final regard of what you were too cowardly to say in person, a goodbye.

And so, you wrote.

﹑

To Simon,

My Simon.

If you're reading this, I am gone.

Whether or not you find this letter, I can only hope you know how much I've loved you. That even without reading this, you're still aware of how much you made me feel.

Thank you, truly.

For the longest time I have struggled to feel, most times it would just be devoid of yearning; my yearn to view life as something worth living for. To no avail I never got that, the idea to keep living never shone bright to me, of course, until you showed up and brighten up my space with your own special way,

It took us quite a few to get along, we really did.

But when it happened, it was ethereal. Things felt right, for the first time I was able to feel,

For the first time I had this sudden urge to keep living, to keep living for you. To see you, to hear your voice, to be beside you. I'm afraid I've grown dependent on that,

As someone who has never felt love nor care, I had no sense of value for myself. Yet you looked at me, you told me you love me and believe me I was ecstatic.

I depended on you, you were my source of happiness and I owe you for every bit of happiness I've gotten from this unfortunate life so when we're apart i find myself remembering just how miserable i am, how my family is, how i am as a person and how hard it is for me to feel.

Without you I can't feel anything.

But that was unhealthy,

I was merely distracted. The void never left, it was there temporarily filled with what I convinced myself was a will to live. I'm sorry. I really am, I wish I could have been better. I wish I could have been stronger,

Braver, to see your achievements even if we're not together anymore. My heart remains yours. It's not your fault, it never will be. I'm sure that you know If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. 

I know I lack the ability to feel, but with you, I never lied. I never faked anything. My love for you is here and it's the only feeling I am able to recognize, I know that night you walked out of the door saying we are better off apart, for the safety of my feelings and for the sake of your growing attachment. I cried but I cried because I agreed.

I'm sorry for surrendering to my weakness,

But I can't keep it together; not any longer. I can only hope that you'll be glad to know that maybe I'm somewhere free from the void of my emotions. I'm somewhere better, freely able to feel. Please be proud, with you I felt so much and that will never change. It's me your [name] :) always will be.

Goodluck to the strongest lieutenant! Remember to keep him happy and healthy, take care of the person I cherish the most, okay? Wherever I am, I am somewhere carrying the short-lived love we had. Treasuring it forever,

Stay frosty yeah? Don't be like me. 

Until next time, lieutenant :)

﹑

[shrenvents]

Haunting Fear of the Dead

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, implied (small) age gap, survivors guilt etc

Pairing: Rick Grimes x reader

Summary: Negan’s aftermath served as the last straw to instill in you, the belief that nothing lasts forever.

Word count: 1k

...

The conversation rings in the back of my mind, and your face dominates my thoughts. That despairing, lost expression still makes me wonder whether I crossed the line.

Life is moving too fast, and the overwhelming concept of inevitable death, and her vivid memory haunt me.

The idea, that you may see her in my eyes...

Things fall apart, and I'll never be her.

I knew Lori for no more than a week before she died. And now I've known you for several years, yet she hasn't left my side. Has she left yours?

Your wife and I couldn't be more different.

A troubled, younger girl, who can't help how unloveable she feels. How vulnerable I am. How susceptible I am to doubt. Versus the mother of your child. Your woman before the fall.

How can I compare? How can you love me? After this tragedy and loss, how can I return your love?

Maybe these are all the things I should’ve conveyed, but the moments gone, and I’ll never get you back Rick.

…

"If ya sigh one more time girl, I'll smack you," Daryl intimidates passively, and I snap my obscure stare at him below my post. Then, looking at the world outside these metal walls, one last time, I turn to the ladder. "Call Rosita, I'm tired."

"Nuh-uh, if I'm here all night, so are ya," He challenges, catching my gaze. He holds it before scoffing in defeat, obviously feeling guilty, after viewing my sorrowful appearance.

As I pass him, he grips my forearm. "I know things are bad right now, but yer a survivor," he murmurs, full of pity. "And if ya ain't gonna believe in yerself, believe in Rick." He trails off, and I nod to make him loosen his grip, so I may walk away.

Things just blew over with the Saviours, now that Negan is behind bars. But regardless, death plagues my conscience. How can I think my happiness is important, or everlasting when my survival is just dumb luck?

Ending things with Rick rang so much truth to that.

Now lonely and isolated, I only have myself to blame. Since confusion and indecision left my bed empty, my head is full of profuse distress.

To this day, after weeks, I'm still unsure of what I was trying to achieve -what I was running from, and why was it him?

No, I know...

I feel it again, her looming behind me. Lori. Whispering stories of their pleasant life together before Walkers existed.

Her ghost regularly tells me how life would be different if it wasn't the end times. She remarks how Rick wouldn't look my way if I wasn't his only option.

My rapid imagination slows to silence when I pass his house. I picture Carl on his porch bouncing Judith to sleep, and misery brutally latches onto me, forcing me to remember what is lost.

'You left him when he needed you the most...' Lori breathes.

Tears prick my eyes, and I bite my bottom lip to reduce its trembling. Then, a call of my name drags me out of the dark, and I seek out its source.

"Rick?" I reply, swallowing my cry and straightening my back. Blinking frantically, I assess him as he marches towards me, seeing concern playing across his features.

'Good things aren't meant to last...'

"How are you?" I croak.

"Fine," he stammers slightly, "you?"

"I'm well," I lie pathetically, and even though he clearly doesn't believe me, he accepts my response nonetheless.

"Shouldn't you be patrolling the wall?" He questions hesitantly.

"Yeah, but Rosita offered to take over, to let me rest you know?" I murmur with a shrug like I'm asking him to confirm my lies. He nods again, seeming just as awkward. "Need me to walk you back?" Rick proposes, motioning his pointer in the direction of my place. "No," I utter flatly, far too fast. He gulps, unable to hide his dejected manner.

A beat later I wordlessly amble away, but he hollers my name again, and I freeze, whirling around, brows furrowing. "Can I walk you back?" He urges this time, and his dilated pupils hold such fervour and desperation, that I give in. "Okay," muttering, I look to the ground as he jogs to my side.

Walking closely together, we're uncomfortably quiet. I peer at him and see his eyes squeezed shut as he inhales, expanding his chest to its limit.

"Rick?" I mumble. His eyelids pop open, and he swivels his head to mine, brows raised.

"Why are you," exhaling, "forcing yourself to-" I cut myself short, and he grasps my meaning. "I'm not forcing myself to do anything," Rick rasps. "If anything, I'm forcing you, to be with me," he drops my befuddled stare. "I'm sorry," he grunts.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I splutter as a wave of grief, racks through me. "I'm the one with problems," my meek voice gets choppy.

The pace of his legs falter. "Problems," he echoes, puffing a soundless laugh in disbelief. "Problems I want to hear," he more or less pleads. I faintly shake my head.

When I stagger, Rick stops moving completely, and captures my hand, yanking me squarely to him. I take in how alarmed his features appear and again, wish I was alone so I could cry.

"C'mon beautiful, talk to me," he begs, cupping my hand in both his palms, and when he utters my name of endearment, I finally break.

Liquid flows down my cheeks, and Rick, with his thumbs, hopelessly tries to sweep them aside. But the more his rough pads graze my skin, and he pulls me closer, adorning me with such affection, the more tears stream.

He wraps his sturdy arms around my smaller frame, tugging me tightly to his chest, and I collapse into him. He holds me upright when my knees buckle, and simply lets me cry.

"I broke up with you, why on Earth are you consoling me?" I sob, words escaping my mouth in messy bundles.

Sighing, "Because I love you," Rick's voice grows rocky, "and I hate to break it to you," he chokes up, "that isn't gonna change, just 'cause ya don't feel the same."

His statement makes a louder cry erupt. But, I struggle to muster the courage to dispel, the third lie told tonight.

Of course I love him.

"I'm here, always," he soothes, nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck, and I feel water drip onto my nape.

As my arms encase his shaking body, Lori materializes behind me.

Reminding me, for the hundredth time:

I don't deserve Rick Grimes, and I never will.

[masquerade-of-misery]

Just some mental health rambling, because I need to let this out somewhere.

If you are sensitive to topics like depression and self-loathing, feel free to keep scrolling.

In the past pair of weeks I've been spiralling deeper into depression again.

A lot has been happening in my life which affect me badly. I feel trapped, hopeless, disappointed, miserable. About life, about myself, about people.

It feels like whenever something remotely good happens, I can start worrying when that good thing will end, when it will turn bad, or what kind of "punishment" life will give me for having a moment of peace and joy.

I've been keeping so much to myself. Even with my family, whom I'm the closest with, can't share certain things, because they just simply wouldn't understand. I have only one person "in real life" that shares my love for Twst and who I can really talk to about everything. We live together, and she's an immigrant living in my country. Every 5 years, the terror overwhelms us when it's time to reapply for her residence permit. We live in constant fear of losing each other, of her application getting rejected. We are each other's life support and have known each other for 10 years now. If that gets taken away... I don't even want to think about it.

My parents and brother always tell me I can share everything with them, and they are here for me no matter what. And I know that, but... I also know that they would never understand my love for Twst and my deep love for Lilia. They would just suggest I see a damn therapist.

They would like to see me in a happy romantic relationship, but I have lost all my interest in meeting people honestly. I have never been lucky with men, and don't think I ever will be. I've been betrayed and ghosted by friends countless times, so I'm tired of trying to form friendships as well.

Also, I have huge self-esteem issues. I hate everything about myself. Every part of my body, my voice, my clumsiness, my social awkwardness, my struggles with verbal communication, my stupid blushing for no reason... I hate it all. I see my reflection in the mirror and have to tear my eyes away from it, because I despise the person looking back at me.

Last weekend, I had to realize just how different my brother and I have become, too. We've always had a strong bond, we were like the "prepare for trouble and make it double" duo. We argued and fought a lot as kids and teens, but we always have been a strong unit. But last Saturday, it became clear that basically I cannot say anything he considers "negative", "hateful", or "complaining", because he will turn it into a goddamn lecture. And the way he tells you his opinion is so condescending as fuck and makes you feel like you are a stupid kid who knows no better and needs to be taught. Even if his intentions are good, he still comes across as... arrogant? Mocking? And then when I said something nice about someone, it basically made me a hypocrite? So, no matter if I cuss at a stranger under my breath or make a kind comment about them, it's a problem??

I don't even know what topics to talk about with him, because our views on life and people have become so vastly different. His heart would also shatter if he found out I don't want to become an aunt and deal with kids, even if they are related to me by blood.

So, I just shut the fuck up from now on and keep most of my thoughts to myself. Even here, on my own damn blog, I'm not sure if I'll find any understanding. People are so damn sensitive nowadays, you cannot express any "negative" thoughts, can't get angry or sad, because then you become "toxic" and "hateful".

And then everyone is surprised why there are so many depressed, lonely, miserable people who don't want to or cannot open up. Or worse, they reach the point where they off themselves.

I'm tired. I'm just so exhausted. Even sleep can't bring me full peace, because my brain just plagues me with disturbing, disgusting, or simply depressing or nonsensical dreams.

I can't see the man I love even in my dreams. I can't hug him, kiss him, laugh with him...

I don't see the point in anything anymore. I just want to disappear.

[kokomyass]

Megumi Fushiguro ☆ Nightmares

Megumi x Fem!Reader

Genre: ☁️

Word count: 711

Trigger warnings⚠️: none

synopsis: in which, nightmares plague your life, so Megumi comes to the rescue!!

a/n: short one !!! enjoy 😚

Second person POV

You were a first year jujutsu sorcerer, and life, sadly, was not treating you as well as you hoped it would.

You had nightmares. Freakish nightmares that meant you refused to sleep for several days, and when you did, it would just be another traumatic experience hindering you from doing well as a student.

However, you were incredibly good as disguising it. You suspected the only person who definitely knew was Gojo-sensei....but of course, he never mentioned it around the others but never pressed you too much.

Little did you know that your childhood crush Megumi could tell there was definitely something wrong no matter how much you may disguise, even if the other students fail to notice.

It was just after a mission with Megumi, and  you were reporting to Gojo.

"So! My favourite two defeated the grade 1 curse, huh? Well done!" Gojo, pat you both on the back as you smiled softly.

That mission had taken all the power you had left from sleeping 3 days ago, and you were struggling to stay upright and conscious.

"...thanks, well if we are done here, I've got to go ask Nobara something, so catch ya later!" You waved goodbye as you wobbled over to your room, contrary to what you told the sensei and your crush.

Before you wondered off too long, you heard Megumi say, "Y/N, are you okay? Do you need to talk?" Megumi sounded genuinely concerned something that made your stomach do somersaults.

"Oh noo I am fine! I'm just a bit tired, is all." you said, smiling weakly before hurrying off to your bed to sleep.

"Hey Megumi... something isn't right with Y/N. I know you have noticed....please help me find out what's wrong with her." Gojo said with a serious tone, a tone Gojo rarely ever spoke with.

"Finally something we can agree on..." Megumi grumbled whilst walking away to find Y/N, despite the sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Hey!! Nobara, Yuji!! Where is Y/N?" Megumi said, feeling slightly out of breath after running around the campus looking for this girl.

Nobara smirked, "Wouldn't you like to know? Loverboy~" Her and Yuji giggled whilst Megumi rolled his eyes, ignoring his ears turning a bright pink.

"Not now guys...it is important. Please just tell me."

"Well I'm only guessing but Y/N is probably in her room doing whatever." Yuji shrugged

"Okay thanks." Before anymore was said Megumi ran of with Nobara shouting after him. "Make sure ya kiss!!"

Megumi knocked quietly on your door. No response. "Y/N it is me, Megumi" No response. Megumi started panicking. This wasn't like you. You always replied to him.

Suddenly he heard sobbing and heavy breathing. He didn't think twice before breaking open the door.

He saw you sat down against the floor of your bed sobbing your eyes out having a panic attack.

"Y/N!!!" you looked up as Megumi suddenly sat by you and wrapped his arms around you. You rested you head on his chest as you felt safe in Megumi's sweet touch.

After you calmed down, Megumi asked what was wrong.

"...I have nightmares, Megumi. They are so bad I can never get sleep. I've always had them but since the start of school....I don't know...they have become unbearable. I can't do it anymore." you felt Megumi tighten his arms around you as you looked up at him.

"Y/N, I like you. I will always be here for you no matter what nightmare you have, I will be there to rock you until you have the peace you deserve, because I like you....and for the record I noticed something was wrong...but could tell you were trying to hide it so didn't question it."

You couldn't say anything as you hugged Megumi tightly and he pressed a soft kiss on your head.

"I like you too Megumi!! Thank you so much, I don't know what I would do without you, probably get no sleep" you both chuckled as you fell asleep in each other's embrace.

A lil extra, as usual:

"Bet you guys 1000¥ he's asleep with her." Gojo said to the two other first years.

"Bet." they said in sync, as Gojo opened the door quietly only to be greeted with such a cute scene of you and Megumi fast asleep like babies heads rested atop one another.

"AYEEEE PAY UP!!" Gojo shouted in glee as you and Megumi awoke kicking everyone out feeling flustered.

"Why did we bet when we literally ship them Nobara..."

a/n: slightly longer than I thought but hope you enjoyed!! love ya'll!! 💜💜💜🔮🔮🔮

[ssentimentals]

seventeen members as their natal charts: joshua

sun in capricorn, moon in taurus

patient and reliable, you can always count on him in times of need and he won't ever disappoint; this man works hard and plays moderately (not a fan of letting loose), very drawn to finest things in life as social status is important for him (just like being financially secure) and he seeks comfort both in places and people

when you hear a loud laughter at the background, you immediately regret calling him, cursing silently at yourself for being impulsive.

'sorry, love, couldn't hear that, come again?' joshua asks, speaking louder than his usual soft tone. 'wait, it's too loud here, let me get out.'

'it's ok, josh, don't bother!' you rush out, not wanting to disturb him. 'sorry i called, go back to your friends, it really is nothing!'

'wait-wait, i can't hear,' there's sound of door opening and then closing before he comes back to you: 'okay, a bit quieter here. hi baby, is everything okay?'

'yeah, all is fine, i'm sorry,' you're trembling but your voice comes out surprisingly steady. stupid anxiety decided to hit you at the most stupid time and out of habit you called joshua, cause he's the one who always managed to calm you down even through the phone.

'why are you apologizing?' joshua sounds confused and you can picture him frowning now. 'what's going on? is everything okay?'

lying to joshua is useless but you try anyway: 'everything is okay, i called you by mistake, sorry. go back to your friends, please, have fun!'

your boyfriend can notice even the slightest change in your voice, so of course you don't fool him: 'what happened? and don't lie to me saying that everything is okay, i can tell it isn't.'

lately nightmares started to plague you and josh knew about it, always being there for you to calm you down. it turned into a habit to call him whenever you wake up in cold sweat, but now you realized how selfish it might have been. not wanting to take his time off from his friends, you stubbornly persist: 'it really is nothing babe, i promise. go back to guys, say hi to everyone from me.'

there's beat of silence and then: 'i'm coming over.' joshua knows that you're going to feel guilty and bad for interrupting him, so he hastily adds: 'i was tired anyways and guys will understand, so don't worry. i'll be there in fifteen, do you want to keep talking on the way or should i hang up?'

the ideal variant for you would be to keep talking but you can't say it, already embarrassed enough as it is. joshua knows you though, knows you so well that you don't have to voice out your thoughts most of the time for him to know what you're thinking about. there's fond sigh on the other side of the phone and he says: 'it's gonna be a bit loud as i go back, just bear with me for a moment, yeah? why don't you get up and make yourself a cup of tea now, love? put me on a speaker.'

you're not sure how joshua does it, how simply hearing his soft voice calms you down and settles your anxiety. how his gentle coaxing gets you moving, how he always knows what exactly you need in any moment. 'i love you,' you whisper after he informs you that he grabbed his coat. 'a lot.'

he chuckles, running back to the car. 'i love you more, darling. i'll always be there for you.'

this man doesn't play games and despites anyone who does; a loverboy, he's sensual and romantic, someone whose love language is spoiling their partner rotten with material (usually very expensive) things; has trouble with unwinding, so someone who is collected and will help him relax/not be so strict is perfect for him

'josh, i...' you pause, momentarily distracted with light hitting diamond's surface, making it sparkle even brighter. gorgeous necklace in your hands stole your breath away and it's hard to find right words to convey all of your emotions. 'it's so beautiful,' you mumble in the end, already knowing what he's going to say next.

'not as beautiful as you,' joshua answers exactly the way you knew he would and yet your cheeks still burn with a crimson blush. 'do you like it?'

it's obvious that you do, but it's important for joshua to hear you say it; the immense satisfaction he feels whenever you utter those words makes him almost giddy with excitement to hear them. you meet his gaze through the mirror and he frowns; he doesn't like this expression on your face, the one where he can tell that you think this necklace is too much for you. he can't have you thinking this, not when he is sure that nothing in this world can ever be good enough for you.

'i think it's too m-'

'don't think,' he interrupts gently, not wanting to make you anxious. he gently helps you to put on the necklace and smiles at your reflection, admiring his gift. 'just enjoy, darling. you deserve all the finest things in life and i'm going to give them all to you.'

he sounds so determined that it makes you shiver, breathless at how much he wants to give you everything. this necklace is wonderful and while it is too much, you shut these voices down in your head, turning to face him. 'thank you, joshua,' you whisper, touching diamond pendant. 'i love it.'

joshua's smile at these words is so full of happiness and fondness that you can't help but smile too. 'you're welcome, love.' he leans in, kissing your forehead. 'it's just the first out of many, many presents. i want to give you everything you deserve.'

'you don't have to, josh,' you remind him simply because you can't not to do so. you know that he loves you without all of this, he makes sure you know this every single day.

he sighs. 'i know. but i want to.'

i'd give you everything if you just let me, he thinks to himself, watching you closely. you smile and his heart skips a beat, when you hug him tight, whispering how much you love him. anything for this, he thinks, hugging you back. anything for you.

a/n: hi god it's me again can i have joshua as a husband please?

tagging @prpldahy

my masterlist is here

[greenapplebling]

So I made a post about a Twst x TOH crossover before but I now know more about Twst so I want to talk about some things

First, Idk if the Hex squad would be sort on different houses or if they'll spent x amount of days in each house to have a full experience. Ig it will make sense if they didn't get sorted bc they're from a different universe but I'll go with the "each of them get sorted in a house" route bc it's funnier lol

Ok, so here are some things I thought about:

Luz, despite being quite the extrovert, she would definitely be sorted into Ignihyde with all the weebs and gamers lol. She would make friends with Ortho quickly but Idia would hide from her despite that, as housewarden, he's in charge of showing her around

Hunter gets sorted in Savanaclaw, he gets terribly attached to Jack bc he's a wolf and often follows his lead. Jack, as a lone wolf, doesn't know how to deal with it but let's Hunter be bc he knows it's only temporary. Otherwise, Hunter is wary of Ruggie bc he seems shady and is disappointed housewarden Leona is such a lazy slump, he doesn't get why Jack admires them sm. He might get it if he gets to join them for a magic shift game

Idk where to sort Amity, I don't think she'll be in Heartslabyul but I definitely want to have her bond with Riddle over their controlling mothers. Riddle would talk about how much it helps him to have Trey's (his childhood friend) support and Amity would share about how much she's trying to rekindle her relationship with Willow

I feel like if Amity got homesick, she'll unconsciously wander around the Leech twins. They're not the same but something about them reminds her of her siblings, specially Jade who's a little shady and also has a smile that you can't tell if it's mocking or polite, he reminds her of Emira

Willow gets sorted into Diasomnia. She doesn't have any problem trying to befriend Malleus and feels a little bad for him when she notices people avoid him like the plague. Befriending Lilia and Silver it's easy and she surprisingly can stomach Lilia's cooking? (All the Hex squad can except Luz lol) She actually offers to cook for them but they're horrified when they learn about fairy pies and Willow apologizes profusely when they tell her they're faeries (which is close enough), it gets a little awkward and Silver jokes that at least it's good to know his father's cooking isn't the worse in all the multiverse. With Sebek, well, I don't think he'll be as intense as he normally is with her bc he learns she isn't human and that she has great magical talent, which I think it's something he'll be able to respect and if he doesn't, she'll make him. I do see him whining about her getting too close to Malleus though lol

I'll like to see Willow and Azul bonding over their past bullying, Idk how or why would Azul ever open up about it though 🤔

Vee gets into Scarabia and gets along with Kalim and Jamil. She will see how much Jamil works and offers to replace him whenever he feels too tired, it takes some time for him to trust her but he eventually caves but tells her not to tell Kalim bc he wants to see how long it takes before he notices. Surprisingly Kalim notices right away, he goes "WHO ARE YOU" the moment he sees a nervous smile on Jamil instead of his usual grumpy face and it escalates from there

I'm not sure where to sort Gus, but I'm inclined to put him in Octavinelle just bc I think he'll really get into the mafia vibes lol

Despite that, I can see Gus going around with Luz, Ortho, Grim, Yuu, Ace and Deuce playing pranks on students with his illusions

Either King would accompany Luz wherever she goes or he gets into Ramshackle with Yuu and Grim

And that's all for now. I'll write when I can think more stuff lol

[angelheony]

'Under the Veil of the Night Sky'

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ Synopsis ✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

When painful memories catch up to people in the middle of the night, A change of scenery can definitely aid- At least that's what you think. ( Modern au!)

Jiang Cheng x gn Reader

Warnings- Might be ooc, bad grammar, and horrible parenting

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚★⋆｡˚ ⋆

┊ ┊ ┊ ⋆

┊ ┊ ★⋆

┊ ◦

★⋆ ┊ . ˚

˚★

In the late hour of the night, two lovers intertwined. Though one finds himself restless, words echoing in his mind. Whether it be the favored words of his father towards anyone but him, the harshness of his mother, and the constant pressure of having to be better than everyone else or your a failure in 'their' eyes. Leaves a certain Jiang Cheng twisting and turning in his bed trying to find rest.

"A-cheng..Can't sleep?" A voice laced with sleep asked beside him. Seemingly stirred by all the movement

"..No, Sorry did I wake you up?"

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ ✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Jiang Cheng tries to keep his tone neutral to not worry the person beside him. Though it all proves to be futile under your keen observation.

You look beside you groggily "What's plaguing your mind? you know you can tell me..."

"Its nothing, Go back to sleep, i'll follow shortly"

He dismisses your words quickly,

You sigh, if he doesn't want to share such heavy thoughts to you just yet, you wont force him. "Ever tried counting sheep to sleep yet?" You try to lighten the mood instead,

"Who still does that? i'm not a five year old anymore"

He huffs out, looking to you with raised eyebrows.

"Hey, never hurts to try" You smile sheepishly back at him, Though shut down by a quick 'no' by the man beside you.

"Fine, wanna go somewhere for a change of scenery? Maybe at the park..."

You say whilst sitting up, wanting to spend some time with him as well. What better time than in the deep of the night, not messing up with your already hectic schedules.

"Who still wanders about at 1 am?" He sits up as well, finding no use in just twisting and turning to get some sleep.

"People who can't sleep, duh. So only a few, plus nobody can bother us now." A sudden wave of energy hits you, hurrying to dress up to at least look presentable at 1 am explorations.

Jiang Cheng just let out a sigh, entertaining your antics just this once.

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ ✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

You both originally wanted to go to the empty park, but not before passing through the convenience store to get some snacks, as per your request. A mutter from Jiang Cheng can be heard as well, Huffing out that we just went out in the middle of the night just cause you were hungry, which was amusing to him.

After a few squanders on which snack to buy, you arrive at the park. Proceeding to sit on the bench nearby to take in the tranquility of the atmosphere.

"It really is better here at night," You sigh in content, as you take a bite on the chips you bought. Nudging a piece to him, so he can have a taste as well.

He nods in agreement before taking a bite,

",How're you feeling?" you continue.

"Surprisingly better.." Jiang Cheng murmured, "And tired after all that walking." Rolling his eyes, before leaning his head on your shoulder

"See i'm so smart, when we get back you can surely sleep peacefully now!" Patting him on the head, You say boisterously

"Smart? Where?"

"Wow, okay be that way..." You exchange witty comments with each other for the time being, but after a while, You say softly.

"You know I won't force you to tell me all that's in your mind, but just know that i'll always be here, by your side.."

"I know", Jiang Cheng pulls your body in a tight embrace, Though you won't know the exact thoughts in this man's mind, you hope that it brings him even the littlest of comfort. Embracing him with equal fervor

"Now let's go home shall we? It's almost dawn"

His softening tone tells you everything you need to know for the time being, you nod.

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ ✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

As fast as sleep took you in, at the same rate will you have to part from its embrace. Now in your lecture room, The sound of Wei Wuxian's voice echoes out, asking on why you both look like fierce corpses this early in the morning. You both could only answer with a glare and another a sigh. After all you cant say much after only a few hours of much needed sleep since midterms are coming, but oh well, you'll survive cause you know that your both in this together.

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ ✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Yey!! second fic done, idk but I just wanna drown Jiang Cheng with hugs

[blackcatwritings]

Safe Place (Julian x Reader)

Summary: After you saved the world, Julian wakes up from a nightmare, old demons in his eyes. You're here for him but your own doubts aren't far.

Warnings: Nothing worse than what you get in the game : Quick allusion to Julian's canon trauma (non-graphic), the reader is a little anxious at one point but overall it's comfort and sleepy fluff. Cuddles and kissing but nothing NSFW. Spoilers for Julian's route but if you're reading this you might already have finished the route.

Info: Reader is gender neutral. No use of pronouns besides you/your. No mention of skin, eyes or hair color, form or texture but Reader is said to have hair. If you squint, Julian could be interpreted as taller than the reader at one point.

It starts with small but quick movements besides you, then you hear a breath quicken. You're still tiptoeing between being asleep and being awake but something is telling you to wake up.

"Don't... I can.. Save..." The voice is familiar but it's the pain you can hear in it that wakes you up abruptly.

Sleep is still making your eyelids heavy but you turn anyway to see Julian still asleep, his face so tense you're surprised he hasn't awaken yet. You hesitate only an instant before your hand finds his shoulder, shaking it gently.

"Julian."

He sits up quickly, startled, his eyes searching the dark room frantically until they find yours. He exhales, his shoulders loosing a fraction of the tension they hold. You're not entirely sure of what you see in his eyes but his left hand moving to gently cup your face attract your attention. His other hands finds your shoulder and he brings you in a hug. You put your arms around him, it's almost automatic now. As you're still fighting to stay awake only with the strength of your worry for him, the comfort of his arms is welcome.

His breath is still too sharp for your liking so you rub soothing circles on his back.

"I'm here, you're safe, we're home." You say softly, just loud enough for him to hear.

His breath quietens ever so slightly. You wait a few instants more but he stays silent, still holding you for dear life. Bottling it up as usual. Your sleepy mind consider a moment about not asking him what's wrong to not cross a boundary but you're barely able to form a coherent thought right now. You settle on some encouraging words letting him choose what he wants to do with what troubles him.

"Wanna tell me what bothers you?"

Silence follows, just long enough for you to doubt he will even answer, before his voice reach your ears, softer and less assured than usual.

"Bad memories. The plague."

Your thumbs stop the soft rubbing on his back. The plague. You might not have a lot of memories from that time but you do remember when it almost came back. The devil's sick smile flashes into your mind, his laugh seems to overwhelm your ears for an instant and you grip Julian a little more tightly.

"I didn't mean to upset you." Julian voice sounds remorseful and you wonder how he can still find the emotional strength to pay attention to your state while he is clearly in distress.

"You didn't. Unless you're secretly the devil or something." You tone of voice is vaguely playful but you're too tired to prevent the sinking feeling in your stomach. You beat the devil but that didn't mean you didn't have doubts at one point. Julian could have gotten hurt. So could have everyone that fought that day. You're vaguely aware that you wouldn't feel that bad if you had enough sleep but the thought quickly fades away.

You feel his lips turn into a small smile in the crook of your neck. "I'm not."

The silence falls in between you again but you don't let it take root.

"We're in this together, huh?" You say slowly as Julian's hands play with your hair absently. "We can't erase our past and neither of us wants to overwhelm the other with our darkest fears but maybe we can support each other as we deal with our own troubles."

Julian hums in agreement before he gets a little farther from you to see your face. You see him attempt his usual rogue smile but you know him enough to see right through it.

"Sure there isn't a magic spell that would give me the ability to take all of your troubles away? I'm used to trouble, I'm trouble. I can handle it, I'm strong enough."

You know he is only half joking.

"So am I." You raise you hand to cup his cheek and he melt into your touch, his eyes closing to enjoy the sensation.

"I guess then I'll have to simply use another way of helping, maybe I could start with cuddles." He says as he brings you closer.

You let your head fall to his shoulder.

"You're the one who had a nightmare, I'm the one doing the supporting right now." You say playfully, happy to see him acting more like himself.

He pursues his lips like if he' was deep in thought.

"Well, you're right. Then maybe you could try kissing me. Maybe it would help make me think about better things..." A twinkle in his eyes makes you hopeful.

You draw a finger to his cheek to gently push his face towards yours so your lips can meet. The kiss is soft and sleepy until Julian's hand cups your face to deepen it.

When you break the kiss, Julian follows up with a gentle kiss to your nose, then your forehead and you let your head fall to his shoulder once more. They feel more relaxed now and his frowns seems lighter. You listen to his breath and let out a satisfied little sigh when you realize it's deeper and more regular. Not yet calm, but that's already progress.

"You know you can talk to me right?" You said again and he nods.

"Tomorrow? I think we could use some sleep before talking about upsetting things." He kisses the top of your head as he starts to lay down again, gently taking you with him.

You lay down, your head resting on his chest where one of your hands traces circles slowly.

"You're sure you can sleep again so soon?"

Julian smiles, moving slightly to find a more comfortable position while staying close to you. He brings the cover back over your bodies.

"With you by my side? There's nothing I couldn't do. Not even sleeping" His voice sounds assured even if his eyes are still a little unfocused.

"Breath with me?" You say lazily, knowing you're sleepy enough for your breath to be deeper than his.

He looks startled for a moment before faintly blushing in the dim light that filters through the window.

"Helps calms down your breath." You precise, fighting against sleep.

"Okay."

"Inhale." You say as you breath in slowly, squeezing his hand as you do. "Exhale." You release the soft pressure on his hands. You're not sure it's useful to add a gentle squeeze to the breath, but it seems like a good way of helping him get out of his mind and back into his body.

When you squeeze his hand again, he squeezes softly back. "Inhale," he says before doing it. "Exhale."

Your breaths slowly sync together as you repeat the process, soon letting go of the spoken cues.

"I'm here." You say as you doze off with a soft smile.

"I'm here too." You hear him answer, sleep heavy in his voice.

[hanniedream]

thinking about how seungkwan would take care of you when you're stressed and overworking yourself.

the lingering fatigue that has been building up within you is starting to feel overwhelming but you know this is the kind of exhaustion that sleep can't fix. the stress from your upcoming presentation is eating you alive and thoughts like "what if i fuck up and lose this deal?" plagues your mind even when you're asleep. you know that because seungkwan would always tell you the next morning as you ran around the house getting ready that you were talking in your sleep the previous night again — something that only happens whenever you're feeling anxious.

seungkwan watches as you drag yourself across the living room and straight to the home office and his heart aches at the sight of you. the bags under your eyes are dark and puffy, your eyes have never looked so dull and lifeless and your cheeks seem to have sunken drastically. now that he thinks about it, when was the last time you even went to bed before 3am? lately, you would still be working away when he's headed to bed. he'd see you hunched over the desk, fingers tapping away on the keyboards furiously and only pausing momentarily to tell him not to wait up for you with a quick wave of your hand while your eyes remained glued to your laptop screen whenever he would try to persuade you to go to sleep, promising him you'd be done soon.

seungkwan finds himself waking up at 3am every night, as if there was an alarm clock in his brain, to see that you still weren't in bed and he'd noticed the lights in your office filtering through the gaps of the bedroom door.

tonight was no different. seungkwan knocks on your office door and as if it was a reflex, you're about to tell him you'll be done soon but he cuts you off before you could even get the words out.

"i'm not here to stop you from working," he lifts up a bowl he's holding. "i know i'm not powerful enough to stop you anyway."

a light chuckle escapes you as he crosses the room to stand beside your desk.

"but at least make sure you're not working on an empty stomach," he places a bowl of noodles before you and a little bottle of something next to it and you look up at him with a look of confusion.

"what's this?"

"it's multi vitamins," he answers and you feel his hands coming down to massage your tense shoulders and he hesitates slightly but he finally speaks in a soft, gentle voice that was close to a whisper. "y/n, i know you're worried but you're starting to overwork yourself again."

you spin your chair around to face him as he crouches down to meet your eyes and you feel bad when you notice that he seems a little tired himself, probably from being so concerned about you.

"i know, i know," you answer with a sigh. "i'm sorry for not taking better care of myself."

he places a hand over yours that was resting on the armrest. "you don't have to apologise y/n. you've always been so driven and passionate about everything you do," a hint of smile tugs at his lips. "that's what i love so much about you."

offering him a small smile in return, you flip your hand to interlace your fingers with his.

"i also love being the one that's here to take care of you," he continues, giving your hand a light squeeze. "because i'm your rock, remember?"

and you do remember.

he has always been there to remind you that he's there to support you endlessly, but he will also be there to keep you grounded whenever you need him to. it has always been that way since he met you in college and he learned how you can get in stressful situations, like the one you're currently in, because he sees himself in you.

your eyes land on the stone sitting in the little display case next to a photo frame on your shelf, it was the first birthday gift you've received from seungkwan and at the bottom is a little note that reads "i'll always be your rock".

seungkwan moves to stand up and was about to tell you not to stay up too late but stopped and looked at you with a surprised expression when you got out of your chair as well. you stretch your arms with a yawn.

"i think my rock deserves a cuddle tonight for always taking care of me so well," you announce before shoving him towards the bedroom.

a/n: i love seungkwan and i love how he's always taking care of everyone he loves, he's just such an amazing and loving soul <3 - bibi

[lyrenminth]

Quiet love 2/?

For this chapter I highly recommend to listen Ariana's song - we can't be friends - to get in the mood

And yet, Justin wasn't the type to make a move. So, you were screwed up.

"I had a great night" you said, heading toward your room. "What are you plans tomorrow?"

"I'm gonna go golfing with the guys"

You nodded.

"Have fun"

"We can have dinner here" he added.

"Yeah, sounds good"

And the sudden thought caught off guard. Did his friends knew about you? Tate knew because it was obvious. But people here in LA knew?

"Justin, your friends know about me?" you asked, regretting it at the moment.

He frowned, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Your friends in L.A, not in Eugene"

"I don't think they care or why they should know?"

"Because it makes me feel unwelcome. The fact the you prefer to hide our friendship"

"That's not true" he argued "I don't want nosey people in my life, our friendship is something I treasure"

"And what's wrong with people knowing about me?"

"I want privacy in my life"

"I'm not going to spill anything"

"It's not about that!" he raised his voice, frustrated. You flinched and he ran his hand through his hair with exasperation. "The fanatics are crazy. And I don't want people stalking you, telling you insults and threatening you when things aren't pretty during the season"

You stayed in silence. You were arguing before bed again. How funny.

"I'm not talking about the fans, I'm talking about your teammates, people you know here in L.A"

He gulped, and crossed his arms against his wide chest.

"Mmm it's not common to present a friend" he said, suddenly shy "Only girlfriends and wives"

"Only...oh" you felt dumb, of course you wanted a space reserved for another person.

You let out a sigh. You were so stupid.

So, so stupid.

"Well, that's clarifying" you said, trying not to cry.

Really? Crying because your friend is your friend and gives you friend treatment? Then why...why he does those things that confuse your brain? Why he treats you so nice, invite you dinner and let you stay all the time you want? Made you feel wanted and loved?

You felt your eyes burn and blinked to keep the tears away.

"Are you ok?" he said, worried getting closer to you. You gave a step back, and he looked hurt.

"Yeah, it's...summer allergies I think"

"You don't have allergies"

"Mmm L.A weather is intense" you changed the topic. You looked at your room's door and bite your lip "I'm tired, see you tomorrow"

"Wait..." he call you but you were closing the door already.

Needless to say you couldn't sleep so much that night.

You couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if you tell him the truth. You dreamed about him a lot. You dreamed about his affections changing its course and realizing it has been you the whole time. You wanted to be his special person because he was yours. He was yours since childhood. He was yours since the gave you a Star Wars band-aid when you scraped your knee playing or when you searched for frogs during your walks in Oregon. He was yours during the Christmas exchange, and the family meetings. And what would you do with all your affection if he said no?

The thought made you cry harder.

You were bleeding your love at 3 am.

The next day, you avoided him like a plague. Yes, it was childish and immature but you couldn't look him in the eye without feeling a turmoil of emotions inside you, good and bad. If you dare to look at him you would started crying or threw him a shoe. You went straight to work, and since you seemed in distress you co-worker, Lydia asked you what's up.

You tell the story, his name was omitted in purpose. All the emotions, his behavior, your confusion, your friendship. At the end of your story, she wasn't happy.

"I'm sorry, but I think you should put your big girl pants and ask him" she said, sounding rational "it's not healthy for you staying in a situation like that. Pretty cool of him letting you stay, but if it's something bothering you, you should talk to him. The worse thing that can happened it's knowing you can't prolonged that situation anymore"

"How am I suppose to do that?"

"Hey, I think I catch feelings for you but we really haven't spoke about it so tell what do you feel so I can make decisions "

"I'm not brave like that " you regretted.

"You must, baby. You are dying in a "what if"

"But he is my friend, I don't want to lose him" it was true, you had so much story.

"It's better for you. You deserved to be loved by someone without limitations"

You were crying at that point, feeling pathetic.

"If he says no, where am I going to stay?"

"I have a friend who is looking for a roommate, the apartment it's closer to work, so you don't need a car" she said, compassionate about you.

"Can you send me the number?" you cried.

"Yeah"

When you arrived at the house he was in the kitchen which surprise you because you purposely took the longer route. He should be sleeping by now. WHY HE WASN'T SLEEPING?

You said the driest "hi" and went to your room. You felt his stare burning your skin. Your heart beating so fast you were scared of having a heart attack.

You changed your clothes for something more comfy, you grabbed a book and sat on your bed to start reading. You were two chapters in when Justin knocked your door.

"Come in"

He appeared, in grey pants and a blue shirt.

"If you are hungry there tacos and soup" he said "Keenan's wife made it"

"Thank you" you said, still reading your book. Words didn't make sense but it was better than look at him because it was painful. He leaned at the door.

"Can we talk?" he asked. You stomach twisted.

You feelings were to intense after the talk with Lydia, but what she said it was true. You were dying of uncertainty.

"About what?"

"About...us" he replied.

You gulped, and it was like passing a stone through your throat.

"Okay"

He moved again, somehow staying in the same position. He put his hands in his pockets then decided it was better to cross his arms. You waited patiently.

"Are you mad at me?" you sighed.

"No, Justin" your voice was soft but firm. Good.

"Yesterday you were mad" he stated, you didn't blink. "What did I do?"

"Nothing" you felt like someone was cutting through your chest to get your heart out. "I'm more annoyed with myself than with you"

"Why?"

Why it was so difficult to talk about it?

"I misinterpreted our situation" you voice trembled and you cursed at yourself for being so weak around this man.

His face was blank. The same face he puts when a journalist ask a stupid question.

"How so?"

Oh, dear. If you could only talk without fucking crying. It was happening, wasn't it? Revealing your feelings and potentially losing a friend.

You were so scared.

You deserve a love without limitations.

"Gosh, Justin. I came here, you lend me your car, you bought me pickles, you treat me like more than a friend and then you say you want me to stay..." saying it out loud made you feel worse. It was nothing, it was kindness. It was friendship, wasn't it? "I... I know we haven't seen each other in years so I thought...I thought that you may feel something for me as I feel for you"

His throat bubbled. His gaze was on the floor.

Of course, how could you forgot? He was a man.

"I don't know what to say" he started. "You know, my work, my life is very different from yours"

What the actual fuck? What was he trying to say? Was a Mr Darcy type of proposal?

"Justin tell me the truth, do you like me back? Yes or no?" You asked, getting angry. You didn't deserved such disrespect. If he didn't like you back, well you would deal the heartbreak but prolonging these feelings until the end of season and beyond was madness.

"I'm not sure" he replied, you almost didn't hear him.

But it was all you needed to know. You exhaled deeply, feeling all the emotions at once. Luckily your face remain blank, you grabbed the sheet with such force your knuckles turned white.

"I guess... that's ok" you looked at your watch only to see it wasn't night yet. "Well, I'm going to continue with my original plans" you opened your book again trying to play it cool not reading a damn word "If you need something send a message"

"What do you mean?"

You raised your eyebrows in confusion.

"By original plans?" he prompted.

"Moving out, I mean" you replied not glancing once. You were acting petty, but he just said he didn't like you back. Of course you were ashamed, angry and desesperately in love.

"Oh, alright" he looked around, not even giving you a glance.

His short answer was like a stab in your heart. Sometimes he was so cruel, but he had the right to feel what he was feeling too. You could not force him to like you and that was even worse. Your eyes were burning, tears blurring your vision.

"Good night" he had the audacity to say before leaving.

And when he closed the door, was like closing all the posibilities you had to be something for him. Throwing years of friendship only because you misread him.

And you felt so so stupid. Of course you were only his friend. How could you even think to be more than a friend? He was Justin Herbert, young, rich, athletic. He had all the options in the world, why he would settle for you?

You started crying, leaving all those emotions out.

Just another sleepless night.

[illuminatedquill]

Sabine Wren: The Cave (PART ONE)

Story Summary:

Takes place one month after the Ahsoka finale. Sabine Wren, stranded on Peridea after Thrawn's escaspe, continues her Jedi training under the tutelage of her master, Ahsoka Tano.

Troubling visions plague her sleep, leading her to a nearby cave that overflows with Force energy. At her master's suggestion, she ventures inside - leading to a confrontation with the darkness rising within her . . .

(Part One)

"Let me get this straight," said Sabine. "You want me to do what inside the weird, dark cave?"

Her master, Ahsoka Tano, stood across from Sabine, arms crossed in her typical fashion. "I want you to go inside. There's a pool of water hidden near the back. Take off your armor and submerge yourself in it."

Sabine stared at Ahsoka. "Is this a funny way of telling me I smell?"

Ahsoka smiled and shook her head. "No, Sabine. I'm not asking you to take a bath."

The younger woman sniffed. "Okay, good. Because it's the Howlers that stink and we ride them everyday, so even if I did smell it's because of them."

They'd been travelling around with the nomadic Noti, the strange crab like people that Ezra had found shelter with, for about a month now. In the distance, far to the north, a beam of light emanated from a mountain top. Every day they grew a little closer to it- and so did their enemy, Baylan Skoll; Ahsoka could sense his presence.

Even from this distance, the beam of light made Sabine uneasy. The Force felt . . . intense, was the only word she could think of to describe it. Like a mighty waterfall of unfiltered, raw energy that grew louder and louder with each step closer. It pressed against her newfound Force senses, almost a physical pressure in it's own right.

Other than their travels, there wasn't much to do. Sabine continued her training and took turns with her master scouting around the land for any other traces of life.

Mysteriously, the bandits that had attacked Sabine during her first foray on Peridea had vanished. There were signs of their encampment here and there but, otherwise, it was like they had completely vanished.

Sabine had a bad feeling about it. Ahsoka shared the feeling but, for now, it was somewhat of a relief that they didn't have to worry about another attack.

The T-6 shuttle cockpit was silent as Sabine worked through her thoughts. She rubbed at her eyes, feeling suddenly tired despite the day still being young.

She focused through the mental fog. "The weird cave I found was strong in the Force."

Ahsoka was silent, watching her. The Jedi padawan continued, "I've been having bad dreams."

"Force visions, Sabine," corrected her master.

"Visions are supposed to show you something, right?" Sabine snapped back. "All I see are snapshots: fire. Screaming. And - "

She stopped herself, not wanting to say the rest.

Ezra. Falling to a shadowy figure with an orange-red blade.

The image stabbed deep into her heart, like a sliver of ice. Every night, the same dream.

And it just kept digging, deeper and deeper.

She wanted it to stop. Nothing ever before had scared her so much, to where the fear ached in her bones; lined her every breath.

Ahsoka was silent for a moment longer before replying. "The Force is trying to tell you something, Sabine. You're not letting it in."

Annoyance crept into the younger woman's retort. "I thought I had. With Ezra, on top of the Thrawn's fortress! I saved his life."

Her master sighed deeply. "It was an impressive display of strength. But it might have been because Ezra was in danger that you unlocked your potential."

Sabine locked eyes with the older woman. "You're saying I can't do it on my own."

Ahsoka shrugged. "You haven't been able to manifest much since he went home. That is a fact."

It was a bitter truth to swallow, but Sabine acknowledged it. She still struggled with the Force; she could barely lift one of the Noti with her full concentration and that winded her like nothing else.

She hung her head. "It's still so hard. So hard."

Ahsoka knelt beside her and gave a hug. Sabine leaned into it, feeling Ahsoka's care and affection and strength flowing into her through the Force.

"I know it is, Sabine. But you're still fighting. The process may seem slow and arduous, but I promise that you are making progress. It's there. I see it."

The simple acknowledgement and encouragement lifted Sabine's heart.

After soaking it in for a few more moments, Sabine pulled away. "So, you think taking a bath in this cave will help me sleep?"

Ahsoka laughed. "Sure."

The Jedi padawan stood up. "Well, let's get to it. I'll grab some soap and we'll be on our way."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Mid-afternoon, they arrived at the cave.

Sabine had discovered it during one of her earlier scouts; a foreboding sense of gloom and melancholy had tugged at her through the Force. She followed it until the cave appeared, just beyond the crest of a hill.

The opening jutted out of the otherwise barren landscape, like some huge mega-shark breaching the ocean waves to swallow it's prey. The rock was some kind of obsidian, but there was an odd sheen to it that gave a sense that it was almost . . . glowing.

Inside that gaping mouth you could see nothing; it was all shadow.

The Howlers shuffled nervously in front of the mouth, clearly eager to be away from this place.

The two Jedi disembarked and walked to the opening.

Ahsoka gestured forth. "This is where I leave you, my padawan."

Sabine swallowed, a gesture thankfully hidden by her helmet. "You're, uh, not coming with me?"

"This is your journey. You must take it alone."

Great. Off into the spooky cave all by myself.

She missed Ezra terribly in that moment. She always missed him.

I missed you, he said during their battle in Thrawn's fortress. His eyes sparkled when he spoke the words.

Sabine wished she had said it back. That, and so much more.

She felt a tapping on her shoulder and came out of her reverie.

"Huh?"

"I said," Ahsoka replied, "to take only what you need." Her tone was scolding, but there was an undercurrent of amusement in it.

"Okay. And what do I need?"

Ahsoka smiled and said, "Well. What do you think you need?"

Sabine rolled her eyes. "I'm a Mandalorian. I want all the weapons I can get."

"You're not just a Mandalorian, anymore. You are a Jedi."

"Jedi-in-training," Sabine corrected. "But I think I get the point. You want me to leave my weapons behind."

"I don't want you to do anything, Sabine. If you think your blasters and lightsaber are needed for the cave, then go ahead and take them."

"Great!" said Sabine, cheerfully. "Then I'll do just that."

Ahsoka sighed and crossed her arms in annoyance.

Sabine frowned. "I'm sorry, Master. Let's compromise."

The younger woman reached into her pocket and took out a bar of soap.

"I'll leave the soap. Happy?"

The older Jedi aimed a kick at Sabine's leg. She leapt out of the way with a flourish before jogging into the cave's opening.

Just before the darkness overtook her, Sabine took one last look at Ahsoka. Her arms were crossed (of course) and the older Jedi still maintained a smile, yet through the Force she felt her master's worry and . . . something else.

Fear. For her . . . or of her?

Only one way to find out.

She stepped into the shadows.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

She found the pool of water more quickly than she imagined.

The cave's darkness had proved empty - nothing stirred inside except the occasional drip of water from the ceiling above. Her lightsaber was held above, ignited, to ensure that she did not suffer any embarrassing falls on the way.

I am a brave Jedi padawan. I do not fear the darkness. Or rocks that will trip me and cause me to face plant.

Yet that overwhelming sense of gloom and . . . despair still permeated everything. It wasn't an oppressive sense, pushing against her like the strange beacon of light they were approaching.

No. The cave's Force aura felt more like a funeral shroud.

Sabine shivered and stared into the pool.

The water was clear as glass. The pool stretched wide and round, almost like the pools she'd seen in holos of how the Coruscant elite lived in their luxury apartment. Some sort of bioluminescence pulsed within its depths that sparked every now and then . . .

It almost looked like she was staring into the night sky.

Sabine poked a finger into the water. Cool, but not ice cold.

She sat on her haunches, thinking for a moment.

"Well," she muttered. "Better get to it."

She stood up and began to remove her armor. A short minute later, Sabine had on only her undergarments; her boots, blasters, jumpsuit, and Mandalorian armor lay neatly in a folded pile at the pool's edge.

The lightsaber she was still taking, though. The familiar grip of the weapon's hilt gave her a sense of comfort and surety that she sorely needed at the moment.

With a deep breath, Sabine waded into the pool.

Once it got chest deep, she adjusted stance to begin floating on her back.

Time passed as she stared into . . . nothing. She just felt the gentle lapping of the cool water against her body and the comfortable heft of the lightsaber in her hand.

Drowsiness began to overtake her. Sabine felt her eyelids starting to droop . . . began to feel herself starting to sink; she struggled to stay upright, but it was so easy to let go . . .

A voice came to her in the deep

and

dark.

You have gambled the fate of your galaxy on that belief.

It was true. She had. But Ezra had made it home.

Now see the consequences of your gamble. See what you have WROUGHT.

The dreams. The Force visions ripped through her -

she was drowning

Ezra, somewhere, yelling for her. Screaming her name with such anguish -

smoke, choking her lungs, filling it with ash

fire, scorching through city streets with the dead as its tinder

more yelling; orders being issued with the flat, filtered voice of storm-troopers cracking through the air

a screeching whistle - something exploding - but she waves a hand and the rocket is flung away with the Force -

blaster-fire ripping through the air, as she strides through the burning remains of Lothal. The capital city lay in ruins; buildings bombed and turned to rubble, far as the eye can see. Smoke and screams and fire filled the air, turning the sky into a blood-red orange.

The place of Thrawn's last defeat.

He made sure to be thorough this time, she thought.

wait, no, no, this can't be happening, where am I

A squad of stormtroopers awaited her at the encampment. Up ahead lay the governor's residence. Rebels lay entrenched inside, making their last stand against Thrawn's forces. It would take days to lay siege and break their hold.

But not for her. Not with the Force at her disposal.

Captain Enoch snapped to attention at her approach.

"Commander," he acknowledged in his robotic tone.

The warrior nodded to him in reply. "Report."

"The rebels are holding fast against our forces inside the governor's residence. It's built to withstand heavy weaponry and explosions. Our only option is to take it floor by floor, until we reach the top."

"And the governor? He is with them?"

Captain Enoch nodded. "On the top floor. He coordinates the remaining rebel forces."

"I see." She craned her neck skyward, taking it all in.

The governor's residence was in the shape of a needle with a flat oval disk perched on top that contained his personal quarters. She had always found it to be too eloquent for her taste, but the building's surprisingly resilient construction meant that there was only one way in or out.

Calculations formed in her head. The warrior nodded once to herself and set upon her plan.

"Have your men fall back, Captain. I will move to expedite this battle to it's conclusion."

The warrior sensed his confusion. "Is there a problem, Captain?"

"How do you plan on sieging the residence, Commander? By yourself?"

Inside her helmet, a grim smile formed.

"There will be no siege, Captain. Have your men stand back and wait for my signal."

Enoch saluted and issued the orders to his men. Without moments they dispersed.

Once they were far enough away, she began to reach out through the Force.

Mine. It will be mine. I will bring him to me.

She reached out, feeling the flat oval disk on top of the governor's residence. The presences inside were angry, scared, but still focused. She could hear Governor Azadi, passing along encouragement and still hammering away orders to what was left of the Lothal rebellion.

And, through the Force, she began to push down. Down on top of the governor's residence.

Metal screamed in protest - she found herself screaming, too, with the strain - and then began to buckle.

And governor's residence began to fall, being pushed down by the Force. The oval disk crushed the tower holding it aloft as it fell - and all the rebels who lay within it, caught unawares.

It landed with an explosion of dust and debris. She held out a hand; most of the rubble landed away from her, but the odd pebble still dinged on her armor.

For a moment, silence ruled. She studied her work, breathing hard from the exertion before reaching out -

Yes. The governor was still alive.

Impressive, old man.

Captain Enoch reached out on her comm link. "Your orders, Commander?"

Studying the rubble, she spotted some shapes moving through the fog. They were in no shape to fight, though.

"Sweep the wreckage and eliminate the survivors. But leave Governor Azadi to me."

The lightsaber ignited in the warrior's hand with it's customary snap-hiss. She walked forward into the remains, searching. Behind her, Captain Enoch and his men worked with ruthless efficiency to wipe out the remaining survivors; the occasional muffled scream silenced by the retort of a blaster bolt.

At last, she finally found him. Her quarry.

Legs trapped beneath a large section of shattered ceiling, Governor Azadi stared at her. Through the Force, she felt anger, righteous and bright, but no sense of despair; a sense of resignation that recognized that this was his End.

The warrior peered down at him, the light of her blade laying bare all his wounds and just how . . . old he looked. Battered, broken - it was hard to believe that she once looked up to this sad old man.

"It's you," he managed to get out through teeth gritted in pain. "It's really you."

He sounds so sad, she thought. But not for himself.

"Governor Azadi," she said. "Where are the Jedi?"

"I didn't want to believe it when he said. It couldn't be. Not you."

She said nothing. A twitch of her fingers, and the broken ceiling shifted.

Azadi yelled out in pain. She knelt down, this time holding the lightsaber closer to his neck.

"I can make this quick, Governor. Or I can make this last for what's left of your life. It's your choice."

The old man spat at her.

She twitched her fingers again. The rubble shifted. Azadi screamed, but his eyes never left her face.

"Traitor!" he cried out. "I will never kneel to the Empire! Never again!"

The warrior felt her patience run out and grabbed at his shirt. "Where are the Jedi? Where are Ahsoka Tano and Ezra Bridger?"

At last, that garnered a reaction. "Far from your master's gaze. You'll never find out."

Fury blossomed in her chest, burning throughout her body. She drew on the Force again and pulled him out of the wreckage.

He screamed as she dragged him, the ruin of his legs dragging limply behind. Finally, she stopped and faced him properly to the ruins of his residence.

"You see the wreckage, Governor? The remains of your once opulent house? You see the fire, smell the choking smoke, hear the screams of your people?"

Azadi let out a half-choked cry. At last, she felt the anguish begin to spread within him.

"We offered you peace. Your people lie in ruins, suffering or dead, all because you could not place your duty over your personal feelings! Because you were weak! Because you were selfish!"

She lifted him up, the Force holding him several feet off the ground.

"Do you feel the heat from the fire as it burns the life out of your planet, Governor? I hope so. It will be the last warmth you feel in this lifetime."

She pointed the hilt of her lightsaber at the old man's chest.

Before pressing the trigger, she heard him whisper. What she'd been waiting for, so, so desperately.

"He's waiting for you in his watchtower."

And then, he looked at her. So sad.

For her.

"It's still not too late. He can help you."

She needed nothing else. Wanted to hear nothing else; his pity gouged out a hole in her chest and it howled that she repay the wound his words dealt with the same.

The lightsaber ignited. Azadi sighed as the blade pierced his chest.

no, no, no, no STOP

His last words: "I'm sorry, Sabine."

Something wet streamed down her cheeks inside the helmet at his words. The warrior ignored it.

Moments passed in frozen glass. In the hell-scape of the fallen city, the warrior had a moment to reflect on the crumpled body of the former Governor.

Her gaze moved to outside the city; past the fires and battles raging. To where she knew Ezra's watchtower was located.

I should have guessed you'd be there, Ezra.

Captain Enoch stepped up to her and asked, "What are your orders, Commander?"

Sabine - the warrior - did not reply. But her lightsaber ignited once more, the snap-hiss producing the orange red blade dragging on the ground behind her: a single, sizzling red line that followed as she walked.

Towards home. For the last time.

(TO BE CONTINUED IN PART TWO)

[the-illiterate-pirate]

Begging to request something sfw for tooru from jojolion. I can't find fics of him anywhere. Idc what you do, maybe how he confesses? Him pining after reader? I'm deprived man.

Hi hello ty for the request! Apologies for the long wait!

Bad Case of Lovin' You

Notes: CW for scraps and cuts mentioned as well as hospitals, fem!reader in mind, it's talked about the reader having a long term illness but it isn't specified about but takes a part in the story. Also trying to get this out quick and I'm tired so I'll try to go over it for errors later

TG University was always so boring and lame. Until Tooru got to see you. Tooru didn't care if he wasn't allowed to have these feelings for a patient. He... was it even possible? He felt so passionately about you. Something inside his cold, rocky heart came to life when you visited him. Nothing else was able to elicit so much feeling from him. Aside from music. But he couldn't explain why.

You had been coming to the University hospital for years now. Some case of an unknown disease that you were plagued with from a very young age. Most of the time you came in for little checkups to make sure your health wasn't dwindling. But you did come in once every few months for more intense testing.

Tooru could tell when you were nervous. He meets a lot of patients, but you were one of the easier ones to read. So animated and loud. He.. kind of enjoyed it. Even the light check ups frightened you. Sometimes he indulged in the idea of coddling you, kind of like a baby. Holding you in his arms made him feel so warm, feeling your skin under his fingers set a fire in his loins. He just wished he could tell you.

"Just another checkup today?" Tooru asked you, sliding in next to the examination table you were sat on. He had his clipboard ready, earbuds dangling on their wires rested on his shoulders. The music was loud enough to hear, but nothing that took his warm, puppy eyes away from you. It sounded like some slow, American rock you couldn't understand.

You hum as an answer, bobbing your head up and down in an exaggerated nod. He noticed your hands never left the hem on your skirt. They bunched up the fabric in fists, and showed off the comfy, thick black leggings you were wearing and all of the nicks and tears. Underneath were pretty bandaids in all types of colors. Duly noted.

"Hmm. If so then there's no need to get the doctor, I could check you out for him. I mean, if you don't mind."

"Oh, it's no problem! I trust you're just as c as Doctor Wu, Tooru-kun." You shyly wave of his unease and Tooru is quickly back to normal. He never lets his face leave his clipboard. He can't stand looking at your face directly. Your sweet face, and your doe eyes that looked down at him with so much worry. You were such a wreck.

He read over the paperwork. Nothing new has popped up, he's supposed to check out your breathing and heartbeat. Should be easy enough.

Right. Let's start. He stood up, hands already clean with those familiar blue gloves. Tooru grabbed the stethoscope, putting it to his ears, the cold shiny piece in hand, "May I?"

You hum again, quickly bringing up the hem of your shirt just a little to give him a peak of your bare back.

"This is gonna be cold." Tooru warned quietly.

"It always is." You sigh, but Tooru chuckled a little.

The metal piece pressed into your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. The piece traveled up, then stopped. "Breathe in," Tooru told you, you complied.

He moved it again, the stopped. "Again."

This went on for a moment. Tooru subconsciously leaned into you. He could feel your warmth, smell the perfume you chose that day. You always smelt good, it was such a good contrast to the sad smell of disinfectant and old people. Hammering in his ears was your heartbeat. Just slightly faster than normal, but Tooru could chalk it up to anxiety. He liked to think he had an even worse affect on you then you did on him.

"Well, your pulse is normal. Your lungs sound a bit congested, but all around okay. Is there anything I need to know?" Tooru spoke while taking off the stethoscope and placing it to the side.

"I think it's just allergies, I feel a little stuffed up but other than that I'm fine!" You said in a rather cheery tone.

The nurse nodded, "Good. I can get you a prescription for some medicine to help with that." And his eyes lowered to your ruined leggings. "And maybe some ointment for those?"

You didn't understand what he was talking about until he pointed down. Your skirt was still pushed up to your thighs, all the holes and cuts in your legs visible. It was embarrassing, you quickly fixed the hem but the damage was already done. "O-Oh! I slipped on some ice this morning and took a pretty nasty fall. I cleaned them out with soapy water, though!"

He hummed a little but made it over to the cabinet over the sink. "Maybe we should put some Neosporin on them just to be safe? It looks like you have quite a few... I wouldn't feel good about letting you go home like that."

"Aw, Tooru-kun, you're so sweet!"

There it was. That skip in his heart when you said his name.

He was staring at the bright colors peaking out from your leggings. The holes in them were too big, more like they've been ripped rather than stretched out. He couldn't work through them, so maybe the best course of action would to be... Ask you to take off your clothes.

"M-Maybe you should put this on." Tooru loudly declared, offering you the bottle of ointment. "It'd be best to take off the leggings and put them back on. I'll turn around and make sure I don't look."

He acknowledged the stuttering agreement from you, walking off behind you to the sink, hiding his face in his hands. You got to work quickly, Tooru heard the sound of clothes shuffling, the light noise of bandaids being quickly ripped off to not cause any pain. With his heating face in his hands he could only hear what was happening, and imagining it in his brain despite how much he wanted to ignore it.

What the hell was wrong with him? Why was it only you that made him feel so nervous?

No. He knew exactly what it was. Your sweet nature, the cute little faces you make when you're surprised or anxious or happy, you had amazing taste in music. Tooru saw you the most out of any of his other regulars. And you just happened to be his age. Because of your sickness you were weaker than most, and that all just made Tooru want to protect you even more. If he were a robot, he'd be short-circuiting. All of these feelings were so foreign to him.

He chanced a peak behind him. Nothing important was seen, just the back of your head. The movements you made told Tooru you were being gentle with yourself, softly applying the healing gel to your wounds, taking your time.

You were so fragile. If just a trip on asphalt can do so much damage to you... What could another human being do to you? Tooru dreaded the thought.

"I'm done, Tooru-kun."

"Ah, good. I've got some new bandaids right here." He masked the shaking of his arm by reaching above to grab the metal tin. "I've got the pastel ones for you, I thought you'd like them the best."

He was rewarded with a soft giggle of yours. "You know me so well."

"I'd be a little sad if I didn't... You are my favorite patient after all." Tooru looked down. Your legs looked a little better than he expected, still cut and bruised, but nothing serious. That was good. He glanced back at the bandaid tin, and offered it to you. "Here, I'll give you some more privacy."

"You don't have to. I mean–! I don't mind having you here with me, Tooru. You won't try to hurt me, I know you won't."

"Are... Are you sure..? I don't wanna make you uncomfortable."

With a little blush, you shyly admitted, "There's no way you could make me uncomfortable, Tooru-kun."

So he sat with you, decorating your legs in pretty bandaids. You on one leg, him on the other. Tooru was very careful not to hurt you, not to stare, not to do anything to make this strangely intimate scene anything less.

After all was said and done, you stood back up to put on your leggings. Seeing all the pastel colors peak through the tears, you groan. "I guess I gotta buy some new leggings... I was in a hurry, so I couldn't change before this appointment."

Tooru let out an airy laugh. "It would be for the best."

This was it. Maybe he could ask you now. Your appointment was the last on his shift. Well, the patient before you was supposed to be his last. But he really wanted to see you. So he waited. There was that fruit parlor a couple blocks away he wanted to go out and try. Tooru hoped you wanted to go with him. Romantically or not, he'd love to try any fruits with you.

"Ah, Tooru-kun? Are we gonna finish up my check up now?"

"Oh! Right, right! I was so busy worrying about your cuts, I almost totally forgot!"

No... Maybe it's for the best that he wait. It would be pretty weird if your nurse just popped the question on you so suddenly... Tooru could be patient, he'd wait until the time was right, when he was sure you liked him back, more or less, and when you got to feeling better. He was sure it would come soon.